#my first encounter with hockey rpf was this way

[inchidentally]

Inchie we need your words of reason again 🙏 Newer fans have bled over from other hockey rpf and keep crossing lines 🫥

babe idk how wise I am ?? at all but I'm a firm believer in using common sense about rpf. and I haven't personally seen the stuff you're alluding to but! I've seen posts referring to it and I heard smth about another ship suffering a containment breach… so can't hurt to throw my 2c in as well ?? idk?

tl;dr that landoscar is NOT the ship for you if you 're going to try and force it to be "real" in a l*rry way*. this ship adores the real life friendship without having it compete with the guys' other many friendships - and we do NOT hate women and women partners or pretend they're beards/fakes/conveniently open relationship. and we absolutely do NOT push rpf outside of fandom. you'll get blocked/reported if you do. this is NOT the space for you to find your next "omg what if they're actually fcking" ship. Lily and Oscar are basically forever, Lando is rightfully loving his life sharing his beautiful body with people, and the fan fiction for the ship is staggeringly amazing so we're very very happy w the status quo <3

and we do NOT share rpf content with Lando, Oscar, anyone in F1, the families - basically if they're not someone you know solely in fandom, you don't share rpf with them. again, you will not find support for that here.

I "officially" joined landoscar fandom around Silverstone 2023 and these have been the hard lines taken for as long as I can remember and from all of the OG people in this fandom. esp from people who've been here since Oscar's Alpine tweet bc landoscar is unique in not having led with a PR image and we've all gotten to see every nervous, stumbling and authentic progression of their partnership and friendship along the way - at no point feeling the need to cross the boundary between fic and reality. it truly is charming and intriguing and rewarding as it exists in reality!

as far as the 'why' essay I'll drop all that where it can be ignored easily aslfgjalgf

like I said - landoscar has always been the exception of no one ever slipping over into trying to "make it real" in large part bc Lando and Oscar don't do the PR bromance/fake gay/fan service stuff which !reminder! is content in other ships I absolutely eat up and is 100% targeted to me but !! I'm also aware is connected to a lot of inappropriate fan behavior from ppl who blur the lines between amusing PR content and reality. trust me, I had to basically abandon carland0 which was my very first f1 ship bc to this day - fully out in the open - I see casual misogyny thrown around about Rebecca and ppl truly loudly thinking Lando and Carlos - who have always referred to each other as brothers and who laugh at the "gay" stuff they do precisely bc it's not real - genuinely fcked and/or dated. I will never care enough about an rpf ship to willingly encounter that shit on a regular basis. I know there's a lot of good ppl in the ship who don't engage in that stuff but I have such a hard line about wag hate that it's not worth it for me.

ironically or maybe because of, Lando and Oscar are the only drivers to NOT engage in playing gay for laughs BUT also who hit multiple progressive bullet points in things like discussing romance and dating in gender neutral terms and not making a big deal out of consuming or discussing queer media etc. they actually walk the walk in not pushing gender identity or sexual orientation on hypotheticals or on each other. they also don't do any macho/tradmasc behavior with each other or even bro-ey stuff like rough-housing or loud, aggressive humor (nothing wrong with loud bro stuff tho as long as it doesn't veer into toxic territory! I come from hockeyblr originally so it can be really sweet!)

and landoscar is also the exception in that we all ADORE Lily and have zero interest in trying to erase her let alone anyone be hostile toward her. in straight people culture they're basically already married and that's how they were when landoscar started as a ship! a lot of us have regularly made posts similar to this for newer fans to remind them that Lily (and whoever Lando ends up with as a steady partner) are NOT pawns in an rpf game. Lily is a real human woman with a real life relationship with Oscar and while no one is obliged to engage w wag content, respecting her existence is the bare minimum expected.

the last point I should make is that there's a very clear difference for instance on my blog where I see fanservice ship content about say charl0s or frand0 or n0rtrell and lose my mind over it and love it etc. but then there's Alex or Rebecca or Pietra on my blog! bc I can have fun without erasing women or losing common sense!!

whereas whenever I post stuff about a friendship that rly does make me Feel Things and write my insane essays, it's bc of what the relationships verifiably are and not what they aren't. Max F truly has a complexity and level of depth in his relationship with Lando that is unique and special to each other's lives. in the same way, Lando and Oscar truly do have a particular charm and fondness for each other that's made them approach each other unusually tentatively and slowly - while also having such intense blushing fondness as well as a uniquely intriguing maturity to their professional partnership. this stuff is fascinating and those two examples in particular swim around into all kinds of social/emotional territory.

in ways that do not require conspiracies and fan theories of them fcking or dating to make them compelling.

(and tbh the fact that Lando has some form of "crush" on a lot of handsome men and subconsciously/consciously "flirts" is absolutely fine to enjoy... as long as none of it gets outside of fandom.)

and the fan fiction for landoscar is truly TRULY staggeringly prolific and immensely talented so that's where we go for imagining them in any other type of reality <3

*do not get mad or whatever abt this - if you did or still do just want to ship l*rry privately then whatever but that's the like terrible gold standard for horrific real life repercussions of taking rpf seriously and why fandoms should never ever allow that to happen. there's no debate about that.

[puckpocketed]

weird/bad interactions always remind me about the good things. feeling very sentimental under the cut <3

housekeeping

The gist of this is that I'm very grateful every day my first encounters with hockey on here were primarily with kraken lb and sharks lb. You can stop here if you aren't in the mood for an essay LOL

I'm thankful in general for everyone who has ever welcomed me into their hockey spaces for giving me role models to emulate. I feel especially thankful after such a strange, off-putting experience in a new tag just now.

On the off-chance you're the person who took a screenshot of my post to tell me to leave your space and you're reading this: thanks for the chat, no hard feelings and no grudges held. If you're one of the people who uncritically reblogged that post... I can't tell you what to do with your blog but dog piling is a pretty good way to bully people and drive new fans, artists and gifmakers away from your community.

I'm not here to guilt people into being friends with me. and honestly, I don't want friends who would do that. I sincerely hope you grow and the next new fan you encounter gets a warmer welcome than I did. I know most people in the tag aren't like that, but I think I'll shelf that team for now. (my quest to fall in love with 32 teams carries on!)

Anyway, I get pretty mushy about my friends and communities semi-regularly on here so it’s not anything people haven’t heard before, but it’s MY blog and I get to write love letters to my teams and their communities if i want!!!!!

kraken

I take my cues from the way people in this tag treated me. The warm welcome is something I'll always think about, no matter how my relationship to the team and the community at large evolves over time. Sparking my interest in writing again, making new friends, and learning about The Beautiful Game was such a highlight during my summer last year. I am very very tender about this team and community. It’s hard to talk about them sometimes because it’s like… my feelings are so big <3 they are eating me like a soup dumpling. my head is being ripped off and my soupy insides are being sipped <- don’t know where i’m going with that....!

I confess I often feel overwhelmed and lost in the hockey tumblr space as someone who doesn’t participate in shipping/rpf and isn’t attracted to men, but I’ve never felt like people wanted me out because of it. Thank you for accepting me, and accepting the way I love this team and sport.

sharks

Tiny but mighty!! the kraken crossover likely contributed a lot to this, but I've met such amazing people in this tag. We may have different/conflicting opinions about non-sharks teams but we are united in our love for this flop train and my life is enriched by it. Would not commit to a months long research project with any other people ! Mwah <3

There's a whole iceberg's worth of things to say here. I'm trying to keep it short otherwise it would be like.... a whole post of its own LMAO.... i should definitely write a puck-mortem on the primer work one day.

But to give anyone reading this an example: I still think about a sharks writing prompt challenge where the organiser went out of the way to include non-shipping/nonfiction works in their list of acceptable submissions. I won't name or @ anyone in this because that's sooo embarrassing aslkjasdkljdjkl but. we exchanged a few messages about it, and learning that they did that specifically to make sure people like me were included genuinely made me tear up.

I love u sharkudablr <33

kings

Somehow even smaller. Many of us don't have LAK as our primaries, and honestly why would we? The community tinyyy... and only recently we're coming back to life it seems. I really can count on two hands every active kings blog I've met and interacted with. But I value every 6 note post so much <3 also we may be very funny for real actually. incredible memes and collective sense of humour. The memes and gifs and photo edits + reposts are so important to me .

I love our kings, our little family, our little liveblog tag. The way I follow LA is unlike how I follow any other team. they really are my eldest daughter, in that I am holding them to SUCH high standards. Perhaps because out of all my teams their fate seems the most uncertain? Are we on the verge of collapse ? are we cup contenders? are we ever gonna escape the round 1 time loop? <3

I hope one day we're as big and warm as my other beloved team tags. I think we're on our way :)

golden knights

another small but close community. I'm so grateful I saw Adin Hill go ultra instinct and got interested in this team <3 aside from saving me a bit of heartbreak during the trade deadline, I've met amazing new people.

Also, loving this team makes for a great litmus test + rent lowering shots. To be loud about enjoying this team is to filter unserious people out of my tumblr experience <3 Those who were wishing injury on m.stone in particular and those who were uncritically repeating conspiracy theories, thanks for exposing yourself during playoffs. Those who are in the tags of my vgk gifs saying how much you hate this team, thanks for exposing yourselves. I do not go out of my way to be spiteful on here, I think it really does no good. but I fear I don't want to sit with you at lunch if you are doin all that!!

what's really special to me is how our community is small and safe. it is the safest I've felt in a hockey community. I am so happy our discord is place I can go to without fear of seeing one of my other teams/players randomly smeared, I love that it was started with the express intention to avoid simply repeating the unfiltered hatred we experience in other spaces. building with purpose, choosing to be kind... i think that's also something I want to take and run with in my own community building efforts. thanks for being bold enough to be different <3

caps

Quickly rising up from babygirl-in-laws (hi Lucky!!) to BELOVEDS. I think the Dubois trade might be one of those inflection points they talk about in sci-fi movies where they gotta time travel and change the future :) I was already sort of eyeing this team and had a few friends/mutuals who followed them, but the incredible caps fans who have reached out to me to share their love of their team really sold me.

I love talking hockey with everyone I've met. I love the goofy vibes. i love the essays in my inbox. I love that people read the essays i write back. <3 When a link to a video didn't work for me (required a log in) a caps fan simply screen recorded it and posted it. When I asked about the power play I got completely serious hockeypilled answers <3

There is something to love about every team, but I'm finding a huge part of loving them, at least for me, is the people you love them with.

everyone else

If i haven't mentioned a team I like or people I've interacted with it's because there are too many to recall in one go and this post has gotten a lot longer than I originally intended <3 trust that I think of you warmly and often. every person who has ever sent me an encouraging word, discoursed with me about the game and the narratives, and every note on my silly gifs and art - appreciate you more than I can express. you all make being on here such a cool experience.

I hope i love hockey for a long time and keep meeting new people <3

[39oa]

f1 rpf graphing & archive insights

intro & prior work

hello! if you're reading this, you may already be familiar with my previous post about graphing hockey rpf ships and visualizing some overarching archive insights (feel free to check it out if you aren't, or alternatively just stick around for this intro). i've been meaning to make an f1 version of that post for a while, especially since i've already done a decent amount of f1 rpf analysis in the past (i have a very rough post i wrote a year ago that can be read here, though fair warning that it really does not make any sense; while i've redone a few viz from it for this post i just figured i'd link it solely because there are other things i didn't bother to recalculate!)

f1 is quite different from many team sports because a large part of my process for hockey was discovering which ships exist in the first place—when there are thousands and thousands of players who have encountered one another at different phases of their careers, it's interesting to see how people are connected and it's what was personally interesting to me about making my hockey graphs. however, with f1's relative pursuit of "exclusivity," barriers to feeder success and a slower-to-change, restrictive grid of 20 drivers, it becomes generally expected that everyone has already interacted with one another in some fashion, or at least exists at most 2 degrees of separation from another driver. because of this, i was less interested in "what relationships between a large set of characters exist?" (as per my hockey post) and more so in "what do the relationships between a small set of characters look like?"

process

my methodology for collecting "ship fic" tries to answer the question: what does shippability really look like on ao3? (the following explanation is adapted from my hockey post:) a perceived limitation i have with character tagging numbers on ao3 is that they don’t exactly reflect holistic ship fic; that is, if lando is tagged as a character in a max/daniel fic, it gets attributed to his character tag but doesn’t actually say anything about how many Relationship Fics exist for him on a whole. my best solution for this was essentially uncovering most of a driver's relationships and summing their individual fic counts to create an approximate # of “relationship fics” for each player. so any kind of shippability graph going forward will use that metric.

i used ao3’s relationship tag search and filtered by canonical in the formula 1 rpf fandom and only pulled relationship* fics (“/” instead of “&”) with a min. of 5 works. ao3’s counts are… Not the most accurate, so my filtering may have fudged some things around or missed a few pairings on the cusp, which again is why all the visuals here are not meant to show everything in the most exact manner but function more so as a “general overview” of ficdom. although i did doublecheck the ship counts so the numbers themselves are accurate as of time of collection.

(*i excluded wag ships, reader ships, threesomes to make my life easier—although i know this affects numbers for certain drivers, team principal/trainer/engineer ships, and any otherwise non-driver ship. i left in a few ships with f2, fe, etc. drivers given that that one character was/is an f1 driver, but non-f1 drivers were obviously excluded from any viz about f1 driver details specifically. this filtering affected some big ships like felipe massa/rob smedley, ot3 combinations of twitch quartet and so on, which i recognize may lower the… accuracy? reliability??? of certain graphs, but i guess the real way to think of the "shippability metric" is as pertaining solely to ship fic with other drivers. although doing more analysis with engineers and principals later down the line could be cool)

also note that since i grouped and summed all fics for every single ship a driver has, and since one fic can be tagged as multiple ships, there will be inevitable overlap/inflation that also lessens the accuracy of the overall number. however, because there's no easy way to discern the presence and overlap of multiship fic for every single driver and every single ship they have, and attempting to do so for a stupid tumblr post would make this an even larger waste of time… just take everything here with a grain of salt!

data for archive overview viz was collected haphazardly over the past few days because i may have procrastinated finishing this post haha. but all ship data for section 2 was specifically collected april 22, 2023.

PART I. f1 rpf archive overview

before i get to ship graphing, here are a few overviews of f1 ficdom growth and where it measures relative to other sports fandoms, since i find the recent american marketability of f1 and its online fandom quite interesting.

first off, here's a graph that shows the cumulative growth of the top 8 sports rpf fandoms from 2011 until now (2023 is obviously incomplete since we're only in may). i've annotated it with some other details, but we can see that f1 experienced major growth after 2019, which is when the first episode of dts was released.

something that fascinated me when making this graph was the recent resurgence of men's football rpf in 2023; while the fandom has remained fairly consistent over the years, i had noticed that its yearly output was on the decline in my old post, and i was especially surprised to see it eclipse even f1 for 2023. turns out that a large driver behind these numbers is its c-fandom, and it reminded me that out of all the sports rpf fandoms, hockey rpf is fairly unpopular amongst chinese sports fans! i wanted to delve into this a little more and look at yearly output trends for the top sports fandoms since 2018, only this time filtered to exclusively english works (a poor approximation for "western" fandom, i know, but a majority of sports fandom on tumblr does create content in english).

another thing i've long been curious about with f1 specifically is—because of how accessible dts and f1 driver marketing are to fans online, does f1 rpf and shipping culture skew a bit more "public" than other fandoms? i'd initially graphed the ratio of public fic on ao3 for hockey because i also wanted to see whether it was on the rise (again, apologies for how many callbacks and references there are in this post to hockey rpf... it's just easy for me to contextualize two familiar sports ficdoms together *__*), but i was surprised to see that it's actually been steadily trending downward for many years now. f1 fic, on the other hand, has steadily been becoming more public since 2016.

another note is that c-ficdom follows different fic-posting etiquette on ao3, and thus chinese-heavy sports rpf fandoms (think table tennis and speed skating) will feature a majority public fic—here's another old graph. since f1 fandom has a relatively larger representation of chinese writers than hockey does, its public ratio falls a little bit if you filter to english-only works, but as of 2023 it remains significantly higher than hockey's!

anyway, onto the actual ship graphing.

my ship collection process yielded 164 ships with 57 drivers, 46 of which have been in f1. all 20 current active f1 drivers have at least one ship with min. 5 fics, though not all of them had a ship that connected them to the 2023 grid. specifically, nyck de vries' only ship at time of collection was with stoffel vandoorne at 56 works.

once again because f1 is so strongly connected, i initially struggled a lot with how i wanted to graph all the ships i'd aggregated—visualizing all of them was just a mess of a million different overlapping edges, not the sprawling tree that branched out more smoothly from players like in hockey. this made me wonder whether it even made sense to graph anything at all... and tbh the jury is still out on whether these are interesting, but regardless here's a visualization of how the current grid is connected (color-coded by team)! i graphed a circular layout and then a "grid-like" layout just for variety lol.

of course, i still wanted to explore how ships with ex-f1 drivers have branched out and show where they connect to drivers on the current grid, especially because not too long ago seb was very much the center of the ficdom ecosystem, and the (based purely on the numbers) segue to today's max/charles split didn't really come to fruition until the dts days. so here's a network of f1 ships with a minimum of 75 works on ao3:

before i go into ship breakdowns, i also have a quick overview of the most "shippable" drivers, aka the drivers with the highest sum of fic from all their respective ships. the second bar chart is color-coded by the count of their unique ships to encapsulate who is more prone to being multi-shipped.

PART II. ship insights

first let's take a look at the most popular f1 ships on ao3, again filtered to driver-only ships.

here's another graph filtered to the current grid only, and then one that shows the 15 ships where one driver isn't and has never been an f1 driver:

for this section, i ended up combining my ship data with a big f1 driver dataset that gave me information on each driver's birth year, points, wins, seasons in f1, nationality... etc., so that's what i'll be using in the rest of the post. disclaimer that i did have to tweak a few things and the data doesn't reflect the most recent races, so please note there might be some slight discrepancies in my visualizations.

anyway—in my hockey post i did a lot of set analysis because i was interested in figuring out what made the players who were part of the ship network different from the general population. with f1, since almost Every Driver has at least one ship and it's a much more representative group, doing a lot of set distributions wasn't that interesting and so i stuck more to pure ship analysis. still, the set isn't completely representative, which i noted by checking the ratios of driver nationalities in my dataset and then in the large database of f1 drivers i merged with (though filtered to debut year >= 2000 to maintain i guess the same "dimensions").

while british and german drivers have been the most common nationalities in f1 since 2000, both in general and in my ship data, it seems that ficdom slightly overrepresents/overships them and then underrepresents brazilian drivers. i was also curious to see the distribution of ships by nationality combination (which is actually quite diverse), and though it once again wasn't surprising that uk/germany was the most common combination given that we've just established the commonality of their driver groups, i found it somewhat interesting to realize just how many ships fall under this umbrella.

i then once again wanted to see what the distribution of age differences looked across ships. the ships i graphed yielded a range of 25 years, with the oldest age difference being 25 years between piastri and webber. tbh, something that's interesting to me about f1 ships is not just how connected current drivers are but also how there is a very strong aspect of cyclicality, wherein long careers in combination with well-established celebrity culture and post-retirement pivots to punditry & mentorship position drivers perfectly to still be easily shipped with any variety of upcoming drivers, hence why we encounter a relatively significant variety of age differences.

of the ships with two f1 drivers, 38% were within 2 years of each other, while 44% had an age difference of 5 years or more.

more experimentally (basically i wanted to use these performance metrics for something!), i tried graphing driver metrics against "shippability" to see whether i could uncover any trends, normalizing to percentile to make it more visually comprehensible.

one thing that was interesting to me is that there is a strong correlation between a driver's points per entry and their number of ship fic; really, this isn't surprising at all because it's basically a reflection of whether they've driven for a big 3 team, and we know that the most popular drivers are from big 3 teams, but then i guess it does become a bit of a chicken and egg question... which is something i'm continuously fascinated by when discussing success and talent in sports fandom, especially in a sport like f1 where there is so little parity and thus "points" do not always quantifiably translate to "talent," making it difficult to gauge why and when a driver's skill becomes consciously appealing to an audience. i don't know but here's that scatterplot.

similarly, i also wanted to look at years active vs. fic to gauge which drivers have a High Number Of Ship Fic relative to how long they've actually been in f1, basically a rough rework of the "shippability above expected" metric i'd tried exploring in my old f1 post haha. because the set i merged with attributed 1 "year active" to a driver just like, filling in as reserve for a single race, and it also included drivers who maybe raced one season and then never raced again, but then i still wanted to include current rookies in their first season to show where their Potential lies... i settled on filtering to drivers who were or have been active for at least 5 seasons OR who debuted recently and thus have a bit of rookie leeway. there's a decent amount of correlation here, which is again... in f1, the underlying argument for remaining active for many years is that you have to be good enough to keep your seat, so it's expected that if drivers stay on the grid for a long time they will eventually accrue more fandom interest and thus ship fic. still, we can see some drivers who underperform a little relative to their establishedness—bot and per, interestingly also below the trend line in the points/entry graph–and then those who overperform a decent amount, like nor and lec.

this is somewhat interesting to me because i'd tried to make a similar scatterplot with my hockey set and found that there was... basically nooo correlation at all, but i also had to make do with draft year and not gp which i think might move the needle a little bit. regardless, it's just interesting to think about these things in the context of league/grid exclusivity and then other further nuances like the possibilities of making your niche in, for example, the nhl as a 4th line grinder or f1 as a de facto but reliable #2 driver for years down the stretch, and then how all of that impacts or shapes your fandom stock and shippability.

moving on, here's a look at the current top 20 f1 ships and how much of their fic is tagged as fluff or angst! out of all their fic, kimi/seb have the highest fluff ratio at 38.44%, while lewis/nico hold the throne for angst at 34.74%.

lewis/nico are also the most "holistically" tragic ship when you subtract their fluff and angst percentages (by a large margin as well), while jenson/seb are the fluffiest with a difference of 17.38%. really makes you think.

and finally this is a dumb iteration from my old f1 post but i thought this was kind of funny haha so: basically what if teammate point share h2h but the points are their shippability on ao3.

closing thoughts

that's really all i have! again, i don't know whether any of these graphs make sense or are interesting to anyone, but i had fun trying to adapt some of my hockey methodology to f1 and also revisiting the old f1 graphs i'd made last year and getting to recalculate/design them. i know there's a lot more i could have done in examining drivers' old teams since many ships are based on drivers being ex-teammates and not the current grid matchups, but it would have been too much of a headache to figure out so... this is the best i've got. thanks for reading :)

[keysmashery]

.

[abschaumno1]

On fandom, shipping and boundaries

Since I have seen a lot of talk about boundaries and shipping over the last couple days, and because that has led to me doing a lot of thinking on it/ I just wanted to share my few cents on the topic.

For those who haven’t seen me talk about this before I should probably mention that I’ve been in fandom for over ten years and in RPF spaces for six years now. So that’s the background that informs my opinions.

So let’s get into this.

Most of the arguments I see center around the opinion that we as fans need consent from content creators to essentially do anything in fandom. Which is right where it starts for me to be honest.

Fandom is and has always been a subculture where fans of a thing meet and exchange their ideas and create art and fic and all sorts of other transformative works for each other. Emphasis on “for each other”.

As a fan I am in fandom spaces to talk to other people who like the same things I do, and I am in fandom spaces to share with other fans what I create based on the things we like (fanfic in my personal case).

Over the past ten years I have watched the increasing shift towards where fandom is more out in the open, and where fans apparently feel like they can and should approach creators with the things they used to share in fandom circles. Obviously some creators have made it clear that they don’t have a problem with that, have actively encouraged it, or admitted to seeking it out to some extend. I think the most famous example for this is probably Bryan Fuller and his enthusiasm about Hannibal fandom in general and Hannigram fanworks in particular, or Mads Mikkelsen, who to my knowledge has publicly admitted to reading (and liking) explicit Hannigram fic. They made that decision for themselves and I think that’s great for them.

Now here’s also the heart of the issue for me. Because I am a very strong believer in the fourth wall, meaning that there is fandom and then there is the spaces where we get to interact with the creators (cons, more recently social media accounts), and yes, sometimes those things intersect, but that does not mean the fourth wall is and should be disregarded.

Shipping especially (since that’s the reason I am writing this post) is a subset of fandom. Not everyone in fandom ships; not everyone in fandom wants to ship. And that’s completely fine. We’re all here to have fun and we all look for different things from what we do in fandom. But at no point does that entitle any of us to demand others to cater to what we personally want from fandom. And at no point does any of this mean we should feel like we have to ask for permission to do the things we do.

Fandom is not just transformative, it is transgressive. Modern fandom, especially modern slash fandom got popularised by women writing queer content about Star Trek in the 1970s (the first published slash story was published in a zine in 1974). And yes, there are cases where I would argue for being publicly transgressive, but I do not think that this should apply to fandom, and being transgressive means that I can and will do things without regard to what any creator wants me to do.

And this is where we go back to the fourth wall and the question of boundaries. I have seen a trend in Hermitcraft fandom specifically where people approach content creators to ask them what their boundaries are and compile lists of who is fine with what. And that in itself crosses a boundary for me.

See one of the most important things I learned in fandom in general, and in Hockey RPF specifically is that the fourth wall is one of the most important boundaries we have in fandom. Shipping is for us. Not for the creators or the professionals involved. And I will be honest with you, none of the shippers I know in Hermitcraft fandom actively share their shippy stuff with creators. In fact, a lot of them feel uncomfortable at the mere suggestion that any of the Hermits could read or see their shipping content.

Asking the Hermits (and other content creators) what they think about shipping and whether they are okay with it is crossing that boundary, and in my personal opinion it shows a disregard for the content creators these “fans” presumably care about. If you actually want to respect them, just keep that stuff away from them. They are adults, if they happen to find it they can decide to ignore it. And if they decide not to ignore it then that is their own decision. A decision they can make for themselves, because once again, they are adults.

But people will use even ambiguous statements or non-statements and twist them to mean what they think they should mean and then go and harass people who kept this content to their own circles and sharing it with others who want to see it and try to tell them what they can and cannot do. They will tell you “I don’t speak for them” and then tell you that the only way to read a statement is their way. The moment you take an ambiguous statement or a statement that has never been made and say "this means that" without letting the person in question clarify, you are attempting to speak for them. And no, this does not mean I want people to ask the Hermits for clarification. I want people to not bring this up with the Hermits at all

And I have seen the concept of consent being brought up in this context and I am just going to say it: The concept of consent does not apply here.

The concept of consent as used by anti-shippers and yes, also shippers insistent on respecting these boundaries, whether they are correctly interpreted or not, is the concept of consent we apply to s*xual encounters. And that concept does not apply here. At all.

Consent as applied to s*xual encounters is a legal tool used to determine whether an encounter was unconsensual and thus breaking the law, or not.

I have seen an analogy being thrown around where creating shipping content without being told by the person you create it about that they are okay with it is the same as walking up to a stranger and holding their hand without asking if they are okay with it.

This analogy is false.

A more fitting analogy would be this: You see a stranger and you would like to hold their hand. You walk up to them to ask if you can, potentially making them feel uncomfortable. This is what people asking Hermits about whether they are okay with shipping are doing.

Or you could quietly draw art of yourself holding the stranger's hands or write about it, and not show it to them, meaning they will never know, which has literally no effect on them whatsoever. This is what shippers are already doing.

We all have fantasies. It's human to have fantasies. There is nothing wrong with that. The moment this becomes an issue is when we ignore the boundaries of the objects of our fantasies and tell them about them unsolicited.

Another thing I want to make abundantly clear here is the following: The Hermits are not your friends.

They may be accessible online and they may even talk to fans online, but they are not our friends. We know as much as they are willing to share publicly. Nothing more and nothing less. What we know about and of them is a public persona. And yes, that persona may or may not include aspects of their real personalities, but at the end of the day they are effectively strangers.

Accessibility online does not mean we are entitled to cross boundaries we would not cross in real life either. And someone talking to you about something unrelated does not make you entitled to ask them frankly invasive questions about things they might not have encountered or put much thought into without you asking those questions.

Furthermore, I would like us all to remember what happened when ZombieCleo came out and told anti-shippers that they should stop harassing shippers. This fandom has a history and considering that history, I am not surprised when Hermits give ambiguous statements or try to avoid saying anything, even ignoring for a moment that it's invasive. If I had witnessed people bully my friend and that same community is now asking me to state my opinion on the same issue I would think twice about how to reply. Especially if I rely on that same community for part of my income.

This is a lot of text already and I could probably find more to say but I'll wrap it up here. If you have any concerns or want to discuss points further my ask box is open. Just don't be an asshole.

[theangiediary]

wait sorry I can't get this out of my head, here's my actual Fandom/Shipping Timeline:

2009, 11years old. Star Trek, McKirk (my very first ship? Not a spirk fan tbh). Eventually also Kirk/Pike 🙈 they're not technically father and son!

2009-2012 HP, specifically the ffnet author Silver Sailor Ganymede. Slytherins, mostly non shippy with some Blaise/Nott. Some drarry.

2011 X-Men first class release, cherik (b!e all the way) (also 91110 which. woof. a doozy!!) + Alex Summers as the bicycle

2011-2012 watched spn for the first time, up to s6ish, non shipper (still no incest)

2011 Thor, non-related AU thorki

2011 ca:tfa stucky/stevebuckypeggy

2013.... Thor 2, related thorki (first incest!)

2013 Pacific Rim, Raleigh/Chuck+.. Chuck/Herc

(I actually do remember distinctly which fic it was that resolved That squick -> A Chance Encounter, followed by Point Made)

2014-2016 big into ca:wa stucky + various previously mentioned, Giles/Spike, some other smaller ships. My ✨Marvel✨ Era (high school). Also. Uhm. Yes, I was really into Check Please! and hockey/hockey rpf. 😌

I think I occasionally read Smith/Wesson? Maybe.

2016-2019 no fandoms, busy with college/family stuff/etc. semi ran a aesthetic blog.

Nov 2020 . The day. That it Happened. little old me reblogging pictures of like, art museums and flowers when Everyone started talking about The Moment. started reading posts for the Drama, rewatched s1, got into the gencest side of Tumblr; mostly the blogs brotherwives and mr-smith-wesson (bc I'm sorry, destiel really doesn't Do It for me Like That 👨‍👨‍👦).

2021 reading the E dark fics wincest, so soulless!sam, pwp, etc. idk if thats really Shipping™️ or just.. porn. EVENTUALLY Gen (+porn) -> Weirdchesters (+porn) -> Wincest (+wincest sexy times and ❤️ Feels❤️)

Started writing/drawing.

2022 bibro nonshipper to deangirl sometimes wincest shipper conversion complete. Added deanjohn and various other characters I'd like to see bend Dean over a table 🥰 (thank you writinginthesecrettrees & kansaskissedlips)

2023 ????

???????

[theburialofstrawberries]

“This is going to be a pain, you guys calling each other Semin, Kuznetsov, like we’re in a platoon.” Sasha makes a face like a petulant toddler. “Semin is Alexander Valeryevich, but he likes Sanya, or Sema. Kuznetsov is—”

“Evgeny Evgenyevich, but you’re welcome to ‘Kuzya.’ Or the kids say Kuzy, so you can do that too.”

Kuzy, like Sanya is a stupid child. Little halting syllables, like his English. The coffee grinder thrums in pulsing, punishing blasts, cutting through the din. Sanya tries to hide behind his tea. “Sasha, you’re trying to impose false intimacy. You always do this.”

“What’s false about it? Don’t be pretentious. We’re all going to work together.” Sasha smiles encouragingly, shaking Sanya by the shoulder. “Besides, it’ll scare the kids if we talk to each other the same way we talk to them.”

Sanya raises his eyebrows at Kuznetsov. Surely he agrees that this is a patronizing farce of an attempt by Sasha. Sasha’s like a nanny goat, forever hounding Sanya about his wallet, or his passport, just because Sanya always loses his wallet, or his passport. Kuznetsov raises his eyebrows back, pale blue eyes unreadable.

“It takes a little more than working together.” Sanya leans back and attempts to ignore the flurry of activity around their table. The insufferable small talk smothers his soul. He fumbles for familiar ground, settling his shoulders and brandishing his tea like he once had wielded a vodka bottle. “I can’t possibly get that familiar with someone until I know what makes him a fool.”

“Oh my god,” Sasha says in exasperated English.

Sanya ignores him. “For instance, I am a fool because I believe in God, and Alexander Mikhailovich is a fool because he believes in love.” Sasha exhales a petulant protest. “Well, you do,” Sanya points out, and hones in on Kuznetsov. “What foolish thing do you believe in, Evgeny Evgenyevich?”

As with many of Sanya’s party tricks, it’s about half theatrics and half genuine interest. He does like to rip the simpering skin of forced socialization from an encounter and try to get at what simmers underneath. He likes to hear what answers people dredge up: nothing, or, the closeness of death, from most of the horrible men in his now-extinct romantic life. Dull people say family. Truth, if someone is especially foolish and deluded.

Sanya gets to say, because I believe in God, and tuck himself into a locked box, and then hold up a mirror to the conversation so that the other person is forced to look at themselves, and not at Sanya. Ordinarily, this works a treat.

Evgeny Kuznetsov considers the question for a moment. He watches Sanya with eyes like one-way glass. One side of his mouth lifts up, almost imperceptibly. “Poetry.”

Sanya inhales.

“There!” Sasha declares, laughing. “Now we’re three fools on the right terms.”

Sanya shivers in the air-conditioned chill. He started out as a poet, a detail mentioned in passing by particularly thorough reviewers and widely ignored by everyone else. He abandoned poetry in his twenties, but it was his first love: a splash of color in his dull Soviet education. He remembers reciting Marshak poems at seven, “Silly Little Mouse” and “Luggage” and “Circus,” the first time he had excelled in his classroom instead of nervously falling behind the rest.

Sasha and Kuznetsov chatter about something, students, perhaps, or foreign coffee. Kuznetsov laughs, bearded chin lifted to show the long thick column of his neck. Sanya steals a portion of Sasha’s pastry for something to do with his hands.

[bible voice] Indeed, the Rave and waspabi 'Hockey RPF but everyone's a writer-in-residence collab' slaps, and I alone have escaped to tell you

[madlori]

Unveiled - Chapter 7

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Epilogue

by MadLori Word Count: 2600 Fandom: Men’s Hockey RPF Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin Rating: NC-17 (like, heed this, please) Tags: Arranged Marriage, Modern Royalty AU, Mpreg, Not Omegaverse, No Consent Issues, Veiled Sex, Weird Traditions, Don’t Think Too Hard, Handwavey Biology

Shockingly, there is no sex in this one. But lots of gooshy feelings.

Read it on AO3

Zhenya was in the stable, brushing Admiral and brooding, when Sidney came bounding in. “Hey!” Sidney said, beaming a wide smile at him.

“Well, where the hell have you been? I haven’t seen you for...four days!” he said, mentally counting back to the day before the pregnancy announcement, when he’d last seen Sidney.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy. Maybe you’ve heard that His Highness is pregnant.”

“I might have heard a rumor going around about that, yeah.” He left Admiral’s stall and went into Lady Esther’s, where Sidney was giving her apple slices. “Is he all right? I haven’t actually seen him myself in a few days.”

Hence his brooding mood today. He’d woken up alone the morning after their blindfolded encounter, his consort having risen early and left him. He hadn’t thought much of it (his husband was a notoriously early riser, which he definitely was not), but after not seeing him all day he didn’t get a knock on his door. The next day had been the same, and now this was the third day. He was starting to worry that the intensity of that celebratory sex had spooked his husband. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been spooked a little himself. He couldn’t help but think that they’d crossed a line past what was appropriate for embargoed spouses, even if they’d kept to the letter of the law.

“There’s been a lot going on. He has to get fitted for all these special custom unveiling clothes, and then for the ball, and then his royal stuff, jewels and crowns and things he’ll have to wear after the unveiling. Plus the doctor is all up in his business constantly, and...well, he’s been feeling a little...not great.”

Zhenya straightened up. “He’s unwell?”

Sidney shrugged. “Nothing serious. Tired, upset stomach. That’s pretty normal for a pregnant person, you know.”

“So I’ve heard.” He rubbed his chin. “Maybe I should send him a message. I don’t want him to think I’m just skipping blithely through the day without a thought to his welfare.”

“He doesn’t think that, I’m sure. Anyway he seemed much better this morning.”

“Just in time. He has his first official event tonight.”

“Yep. No offense, but I’m glad I don’t have to go.”

“Oh, you’re not guarding him?”

“No, there’ll just be two guards. Probably Letang and Patty.” He picked up Lady Esther’s saddle. “Are we riding?”

Zhenya started to say “yes,” but the word stuck in his throat. “I can’t.”

“Oh,” Sidney said, looking a little disappointed. “Other plans?”

“I’m...I just…” He sighed, then plunged ahead. “I should be dedicating my attention to my spouse, even if my time with him is limited. He’s carrying my child. I shouldn’t be...gallivanting around with another man.”

Sidney blinked at him. “Is that what we’ve been doing? Gallivanting?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I thought we were friends.” Now he just looked sad.

“Are we?” Zhenya said, quietly. They locked eyes, and he saw that Sidney knew exactly what he meant. “My first loyalty must be to him. And I’d have thought that yours would be, too.”

Sidney’s face did something he couldn’t quite parse. He turned his back and put Lady Esther’s saddle back on its peg. “As you wish, Your Royal Highness,” he said, subdued. 

He walked past Zhenya towards the door, but as he drew even with him, Zhenya’s hand shot out and caught his sleeve. He’d barely been aware that he was going to do that. “It’s my fault,” he said, quietly. “Don’t think it’s because I don’t…” He couldn’t finish.

Sidney looked up at him, resignation in his eyes. “You don’t have any idea what’s going on here, Zhenya.” He pulled away and strode off across the lawn.

Zhenya frowned. He had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

---------

Even though he would not be officially introduced to the kingdom until his unveiling, now that the consort had conceived, he could be included in certain private state functions in a very limited capacity. One such occasion was this evening, a dinner honoring their chief jurist, who was retiring after a long and distinguished career. The King would be presenting him with a medal of meritorious service, and colleagues and friends would give speeches praising his achievements and character. The consort could not attend the bulk of the event; if he did, the embargo would prohibit Zhenya from speaking for the entire evening. After the dinner and speeches, he would join Zhenya briefly and be introduced to the gathered nobles and officials by the King, spend a few minutes being bowed to and congratulated, and then be escorted out. It was a bit of a dog-and-pony show, but it was part of the long process of welcoming a new consort into the royal family. His pregnancy would not be publicly announced, but the mere fact that he was being introduced to society and an unveiling was being planned would be enough to clue everyone in that the Crown Prince’s consort was expecting.

Zhenya was restless during dinner and speeches, anticipating his consort’s arrival. He was feeling both eager to see him and anxious for everything to go well. All the Very Distinguished speakers seemed to drone on endlessly as the guests ate the delicate desserts and sipped rich, sweet wine. The jurist himself, bless his heart, gave a refreshingly brief acceptance speech, then knelt before the King to receive his medal. Zhenya stood at his father’s side and made a concerted effort to actually keep his mind on the task at hand; this man’s service deserved his full attention. The fact that the guests were meeting the consort tonight would not have been revealed to them, but the savvier ones might have guessed once they were ushered into a drawing room for cocktails after dinner, instead of being bid good-night.

Zhenya prowled around, distracted and impatient, until finally the door cracked open and Sasha beckoned him out. He excused himself and left the drawing room; Fleury was waiting for him in the hall. “His Highness is on his way. He apologizes for keeping you waiting.” Fleury glanced around, then leaned in and spoke quietly. “He’s been throwing up since this afternoon. If this appearance could be kept as brief as possible, we’d all be grateful.”

“Of course,” Zhenya said. “If we need to postpone it altogether…”

“No, no. He’s ready, he wants to do this. Just don’t keep him any longer than you need to.”

“Absolutely.” He turned to Sasha. “Tell my father that we’ll be keeping the greetings to fifteen minutes, maximum.”

“You want me to tell the King that?” Sasha said, his eyebrows shooting up.

“Yes. If he has a problem with that, tell him I’ll be glad to cancel the entire thing and allow my husband to rest while he’s gestating the future King or Queen of this country.”

Sasha gave him a sort of it’s your funeral look and went back into the drawing room.

Fleury had a finger in his ear, listening on his communicator. “They’re here.”

They both turned just in time to see the consort and two guards -- Letang and the burly blond one called Patty -- round the corner. Zhenya’s breath caught in his throat; even extensively veiled as he was, his consort looked stunning. The veils were gold and black, loose around his face and shoulders and then elaborately draped and fitted around his torso and hips so they suggested formalwear. They flowed loose down his upper arms and back, floating dramatically behind him. He wore a tailored suit underneath the veils.

Zhenya made no effort to mask his admiration as they approached. The consort nodded to him; Zhenya put a hand over his heart and bowed quickly. He extended his arm; the consort placed one gloved hand gently in the crook of his elbow. Zhenya observed that he was moving carefully; he must still be feeling queasy. Fleury went to the door and gave a quick knock to indicate that they were ready.

They moved to the doorway; from inside, Zhenya heard the sergeant-at-arms speak in his booming voice to get everyone’s attention. “My lords and ladies, friends and distinguished guests. His Majesty the King and Her Majesty the Queen present His Royal Highness, Prince Evgeni, accompanying his husband, the Prince Consort.” Zhenya heard an excited murmur rise inside the room. The footmen threw open the double doors and Zhenya stepped inside, pride swelling in his chest as he walked forward with his consort on his arm.

They greeted Zhenya’s parents first, the consort bowing to them, and then the King joined them as they began to move through the crowd. To Zhenya’s relief, he was carefully selecting who would get the honor of a formal introduction to keep his poor husband from having to endure hours of meeting everyone in attendance. The sergeant-at-arms murmured each person’s name as they were presented. Most bowed to the consort, some kissed his gloved hand. The consort kept his other hand tight on Zhenya’s elbow; he was definitely holding himself rigidly upright.

“He seems tense,” his father whispered to Zhenya as they crossed the room to meet the guest of honor.

“He’s trying not to vomit, Father. Give him a break.” Zhenya whispered quietly near his father’s ear, conscious of the embargo against his mate hearing him.

“Poor fellow. Having a hard time of it, is he?”

“I understand it comes and goes. But he’s had a bad afternoon.” As if on cue, the consort swayed a little, free hand going to his stomach while the other clamped down on Zhenya’s arm. Zhenya decided they’d had enough. He shot his father a look, slipped his arm around the consort’s waist and steered him to the door.

“Please excuse my son,” the King said. “His consort has been -- unwell.” Absolutely everyone in attendance understood what was meant by that. Zhenya heard sympathetic whispers; a few comments of “be well” and “take care of yourself” followed them out.

Fleury was waiting right outside, holding a trash can just in case. As soon as the door shut behind them, the consort sagged against Zhenya’s chest with a sigh of relief. Zhenya wrapped his arms around him, stroking his back. Fleury held out the trash can; the consort shook his head, took a deep breath and straightened up. He nodded quickly in a clear “I’m ok” gesture. Zhenya lifted his eyebrow. Are you sure? The consort pulled off his black leather gloves and squeezed one of Zhenya’s hands, then lifted his hand to stroke Zhenya’s cheek. Zhenya plucked his husband’s hand off his face and pressed a kiss to his palm. The consort seemed to sway toward him a little, lingering, then withdrew his hand and turned to his guards. They took their places at his side and headed back down the corridor. Fleury started to follow but Zhenya held him back. “Is he all right? Please tell me the truth.”

“He will be. Surely you know this is common.”

“I didn’t think it started this early, he’s not even a month along.”

“It often starts earlier for men. Something about body fat percentage, I’ve heard.”

“Please tell him that if he needs help or comfort at night, he always has my permission to enter my room. He needn’t knock.”

Fleury nodded, smiling a little. “I’ll tell him. Thank you, sir.” He hurried to catch up with his charge, leaving Zhenya standing alone in the hallway, feeling useless.

The door eased open behind him; he turned to see Judge Amarov emerge. “Your Honor, you should stay at your party, all is well,” Zhenya said.

Amarov flapped a hand and made a “pshaw” noise. “Bunch of suck-ups. I’ve been tongue-bathed enough for one night. How are you, Zhenyenka?”

He nodded. “All right. Anxious.”

“It’s hard the first time. My wife carried our first and had a terrible time. I carried our second and it was a breeze, for which she’s never forgiven me. But, I do still have the recipe for the ginger toddy I used to make for her, which I’d be happy to share.”

Zhenya smiled. “I just wish I could tell him how much I...well.”

“The embargo is a hardship. I confess I don’t understand why we put our leaders through it. I can’t imagine how you all do it.”

“We’re brought up with it. It seems normal to me. I just didn’t expect...certain things.”

“Nothing is ever what we expect. I know the rules you must obey, but between you and me, Zhenya? If you break them when you are alone with him, nobody will ever know.”

“I would be prepared for that, but I don’t wish to disrespect him. He values the embargo rules, and so must I.”

“Then the fact that you honor his commitment tells him everything that you wish you could say.”

---------

That night, Zhenya was lying in bed reading, not expecting company. Even if his nausea had abated, his consort was likely to be tired and not in the mood for sex.

So he was surprised when the door to the Royal Bedchamber opened, tentatively. He sat up, putting his book aside. The consort poked his veiled head around the door, looking unsure of himself. Zhenya beckoned him into his bedroom; he seemed relieved and entered, shutting the door behind him. He was fully veiled but also dressed in sleeping clothes, loose pants and a t-shirt. He just stood there for a moment, fidgeting from foot to foot and crossing his arms over his stomach.

Zhenya scooted over a little and flipped the bedclothes back, holding out a hand to invite his husband to join him. The consort’s posture relaxed and he walked over to the bed, slipping between the sheets. They just looked at each other for a moment; Zhenya thought about what he might want, what he might need, if he were the one in this precarious physical state. He slid down in the bed and held out one arm. He heard his consort exhale and he stretched out close to him at once, snuggling against his chest and tucking his face into Zhenya’s neck. Zhenya wrapped his arms around his consort, sighing at how well they fit together, how natural it felt just to hold him. He gently stroked his hand up and down the consort’s back over his drapings, and within just a few moments, he felt the man’s breathing deepen and knew that he was asleep.

This became their routine. Zhenya grew accustomed to seeing the door open and his consort joining him in bed. Soon, Zhenya began to think of the bedroom as as theirs rather than his -- over the days that followed, his consort was often to be found there, reading or bathing or simply relaxing. Then, they’d climb into bed together and curl into each other’s arms. Zhenya didn’t initiate sex and neither did his consort, who often seemed tired.

The second morning of this new normal, Zhenya woke up to the sound of his consort retching piteously in the bathroom. He almost got up to help him, but thought better of it -- he’d have had to lift his veils to vomit, and he’d be furious if Zhenya barged in. All he could do was sit and listen as he flushed the toilet, rinsed his mouth and came back into the bedroom. He responded to Zhenya’s are you all right eyebrow-raise with a waggle of his hand. All right. He returned to bed and came straight into Zhenya’s arms again. Zhenya slid his hand down to rest on his belly, their child growing ever stronger beneath his hand; the consort covered the hand with his own and sighed into Zhenya’s neck.

Next Chapter

[beatrice-otter]

Yuletide Recs 2019

Happy Yuletide, everyone! First, I got a delightful little fic written for me: promenade.  My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle and Mrs. Higgins.  Wonderful story.  Mrs. Higgins was superb, and Eliza's reactions to the English upper class abroad are perfect. Here are some other fics I have enjoyed: 4'33"--John Cage The Sound Of A Yuletide Fic Not Being Written. There sure are a lot of cars going by.  Great meta look at writing, and 4'33" The Addams Family (movies) An Addams Family Contract (Written in Secret, Signed in Blood).  “I’m an Addams,” Debbie protests indignantly. Immediately after making this statement, Debbie realized that it was true.  (Or, Wednesday wants to exorcise Debbie. Debbie wants to kill Wednesday. A negotiation begins.)  This is AMAZING and hysterically funny, and the thought of Debbie and Wednesday working together is TERRIFYING. Don't I Deserve Love (and Jewelry).  The plan to win Wednesday’s friendship did not start well. She shared her admiration for the girl’s blowtorch, then hinted about her own childhood affinity for matchsticks and fire accelerants, but Wednesday was unimpressed.  Do better,” she said before lowering her hockey mask and stalking after Pubert. Honeymoon in Transylvania.  Ahahahaha, this is wonderful.  Gomez and Morticia vs. the TSA! Alien Series A Room with a Crappy View. 17k of Ripley and Hicks awesomeness post-Aliens. This is an absolutely AMAZEBALLS fic, and I LOVE it. I love that they deal with their trauma. I love how they wrote the Colonel, doing the best she could on the evidence she had and how frustrating that was and yet, when you look at it from her POV, what better way could she have handled it? The action is great, the relationships between Ripley and Hicks and Bishop were awesome, this is an absolute treat. All About Eve Getting Back to Being a Woman.  Karen knew enough not to go to New Haven.  Never let it be said that Margo Channing doesn't know how to take care of her friends.  I love this. I could just hear Bette Davis and the others saying their lines, and the ending is perfect--I think Karen and Lloyd will be able to have a much better relationship after this, if he's willing to accept and live into the changed relationship. Till I have the possession of everything she touches.  Addison DeWitt/Eve Harrington and their daughter.  VERY well done Addison perspective. Aubrey-Maturin series. Vent de Boulet.  Jack & Aubrey, Teen.  The aftermath of Stephen's escape from the French interrogators at Port Mahon.  Wonderful portrayal of the relationship between them and natural consequences of their trauma-filled lives. Babette's Feast Body and Soul.  After the French dinner, a new normal established itself among the faithful. Ballet Shoes A Long Way from the Cromwell Road.  Petrova visits Pauline in Hollywood after the war ends. Bletchley Circle Logical Recovery.  After the showdown with Marta Magro at the warehouses, Jean, Millie, and Lucy embark for Glasgow to find Eliška. Archival research, an extended stay with Jean's cousin, undercover rescue missions, and much emotional processing of past events ensue. Cabaret Infinite Variety.  London, 1950. Clifford has coming looking for Sally. Instead he finds a girl who may or may not be her – or their – daughter, the reclusive former Master of Ceremonies, and an annoying parrot. He becomes part of their strange household, full of love and bickering; sorrow, pain and music. No-one will tell him where Sally is, or even whether she’s alive. No-one will tell him anything. Except the parrot, who tells him that life is a Cabaret.  Oh, wow, this is painful but SO GOOD and the ending is perfect. DC Teen Titans From Cold to Fire.  "Do you want to go out with me?" "What?" Young Justice Getting Stupid in your area.  Hang-time includes considerations of evil clones and taking down a newly raised lich lord.  Love the banter. Die Hard Your Answers Please.  “Come on, kid,” McClane said gruffly. “This place is fucking depressing. You’re coming to stay with me.” Enchanted Forrest Chronicles Best Served Cold.  In which Antorell causes trouble in the Enchanted Forest, and Cimorene and Alianora make an amphibious new friend.  Hilarious, I love Ribbita! Ghostbusters Better Than Roses. Janine dates. It's...something. The Goblin Emperor Imperial (non) Immunity.  Csevet doesn't get sick. Maia's not so confident. Light a Mourner's Candle.  The Archprelate finds a chaplain for Maia. Against a Sure Winter.  When the opportunity arose to become one of the four ceremonial bodyguards for the new Emperor, Cala Athmaza volunteered. He didn't fully realize what he was letting himself in for, but he knew in his heart he had made the right choice. Sugar Lumps.  Maia spends some time with his horse. Greek Mythology beauty, her artificers.  Shortly after their wedding, Aphrodite sustains a small wound.  Really great Aphrodite/Hephaestus dynamic. a thing of beauty, golden.  Olympus’ one-century wonder appears in Hephaestus’ workshop between one strike on his anvil and the next..  Another really great Aphrodite/Hephaestus fic. Hancock yeah I know the shortcut, rather take the long way. Ray daydreams a New York that looks a lot like something out of an old Daredevil comic - towers looming over the city like cragged, jaded sentries, impartial to the neon kaleidoscope of chaos churning along below them. Hancock roosts on the tallest, craggiest one of course, brooding as he watches the slow pulsing heartbeat of the city below him. Ready to dive off his perch and into action with the first cry of distress, and there’s probably lots of those in a city like New York. Lots of zooming around, saving people, saving the world. Hopefully with slightly less metaphorical middle fingers to the world. And less alcohol. Ray’s not an idiot though, and one sparkly life-changing month doesn’t just fix people. History RPF 15th Century. these late eclipses.  Anne Neville, like others of her line, is born with a gift.  I LOVE the way magic is brought into this, it melds so well with the history. 19th Century/German folklore The Bargain.  Bettina finds a secret door at her grandmother's house, one that leads to something very unexpected. The things she learns as a result change her life in small but important ways. Imperial Radch Still Left in Want of Mercy.  The Republic of Two Systems is about a month old. Seivarden is having yet another crisis - can Mercy of Kalr get her through it? Maybe, with the crew's and Fleet Captain's help.  Interesting Ship perspective. high above the trees.  An unexpected embassy. Really excellent, probably the best way I've ever seen "Awn Lives" done. The Incredibles Life of a Superhero, Junior Grade.  Fortunately, this was Tuesday night training, not a real villain-chasing experience. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell The Magicians of Starecross Hall.  Being a series of interludes in the life of John Segundus, newly practical magician, in the year following the disappearances of Messrs. Strange and Norrell. Including: a new school for young magicians, explorations of the King’s Roads, Lady Pole’s alarming needle-work, unanticipated trips to Faerie, and John Childermass.  I love this story!  How the school got started, and 'Miss Wintertowne' (although I do think she would style herself 'Mrs' Wintertowne, because she is married and up through the 18th Century 'Mistress/Mrs' vs. 'Miss' had as much to do with age and experience and such as it did with marital status) and how she uses embroidery as a kind of art therapy.  I love the slow burn, and I love the stuff about exploring the King's Roads and Faerie.  It is excellent and awesome. Lilo & Stitch The Dance.  Lilo peeked out from behind the curtains and looked over the stage. A Little Princess Discipulae.  "I just realized," Sara said. "Becky, I could have a tutor now. I could hire someone to teach me anything I wanted. All the things that are hard to learn alone from books — Greek and Latin, Sanskrit, algebra, anything I wanted. What would you learn, Becky, if you could?"  Really great look at what their lives could be like post-canon. Marvel Captain Marvel Take my hand (and we'll march to the front lines). There's a dream Vers has sometimes. this youthful heart can love you. Carol waited a week before she left with the Skrulls. Space Cases.  Monica tried many other times to win her mother over to a pet. A rabbit, a pony, a parakeet. This is not any of those stories. This is the story of Monica Rambeau and a Flerken named Goose.  Or: Why Nick Fury is never allowed to babysit ever again. The Tesseract's Wife.  A straight line is not the shortest distance between two points: non-linear snapshots of a love story. Fly Me To The Moon.  "It's a vacation. Like spring break," Carol says. Monica's eyes widen. "Really? So we can hang out? What are we going to do?" "Well," Carol says, leaning back in her chair and flashing that old, familiar smirk. "I thought we could go to the moon." Into the Spiderverse i got you.  Miles thinks he's hiding the truth about Spider-Man, but one unfortunate night, it comes to light. one last leap.  Telling his parents he's Spider-Man is a leap of faith Miles can't bring himself to take. My Life to Liv.  Liv survived her encounters with her interdimensional Spider-nemeses, of course. So what's next for her? Interdimensional Phone Pals.  Gwen Stacy is many things, but open to friendships isn’t really one of them.  Or,  Five rules Gwen makes for herself, and how Peter B. makes her question them. Into the Spiderverse/Murder, She Wrote Spider, She Wrote.  Miles and May visit her old friend Jessica in Cabot Cove. Mulan (1998) the proper order of things. Great outsider perspective. The Mummy After the Mummy.  London was becoming Rick's least favourite place, and not just because of all the rain. Loving Evy was one thing: figuring out whether she loved him back after the Egyptian heat faded away was something else. Where's a good rising of the undead when you need one? Don't worry, Jonathan found one.  Lovely fun adventure. Course Correction.  Jonathan really is serious about staying away from tombs and mummies this time (except trouble always seems to find him). Good thing Ardeth is there to help him stay on-track. Travelers by Night.  Very quickly, Jonathan weighed the odds. On one hand, potential death, whether by armed bandits, a mummy’s curse, or people who looked like bandits and who were very angry about someone unleashing a mummy’s curse. On the other hand, potential riches, home ground, and topics of conversation other than what happened at school fifteen years ago and who got it in the neck where. Murderbot How I Spent My Vacation Between Survey Missions. What happens when ART reunites with Murderbot during another break between research survey missions? Media gets viewed, of course, but there might also be some bad news for more shady corporations. Situation Normal.  Hi, I said, along with amusement sigil 159 = wave. It seemed a little inadequate, but what do you say to the ship that radically altered your appearance, helped you figure out your past, and also threatened you with terrifying weapons? Amusement sigils seemed like my best bet. My Fair Lady Here We Are Together.  Eliza and Freddy are working together. Henry isn't happy, and makes sure everyone knows it. One Day at a Time what they say about the young. Without the kids around, it feels like everything has changed, except for all the other things about Penelope's life that could change, too. a return to normal.  Penelope and Schneider's Friday night plans fall through, so they have a movie night instead.  Very sweet. Persuasion. The Pen in Their Hands. Five letters that were written, but were never sent, aboard H.M.S. Laconia. (And one that was.) Smooth Water. “If I wanted easy comfort, I should not have become a captain’s wife.” Wonderful Austen voice. A Step Not Taken.  What if that day at Lyme had gone just a little differently? Peter Wimsey The Duke's Parlormaid.  A story in correspondence, with detective interruptions.  Really captured the feel of the books and all the character voices. Poirot The Mice Will Play.  When Poirot returns unexpectedly from a case, he finds out something new about Miss Lemon. RED The One Bathtub.  “I did have dinner plans,” Han said, grudgingly, and so Victoria kicked the door in and graciously allowed Han to be the first into the bathroom. She understood the pain of missed reservations. Rivers of London Through All the Years, This Is My Home.  At night, when the rest of the staff and most, if not all, of the masters were asleep, Molly would wander the moonlit halls and remember what fresh air felt like on her skin. Of Molly, of Thomas, and of the years they've spent together - and of the Folly, strong and everlasting.  Lovely Molly perspective. Peelian Principles.  "You're very calm about this," Seawoll said on the fifth day.  Nightingale's perspective on Peter's time as a hostage, and REALLY AWESOME. UXB.  When one the deadliest weapons of the Blitz threatens London once again, Peter finds himself on the front line.  Wonderful casefic, just perfect. Saved! Conversation Starters. Cassandra and Roland have five important conversations. Sense and Sensibility Realization and Renewal.  As Marianne recovers, Elinor and Colonel Brandon find themselves drawn to one another. Sense8 Blue and Gold.  Wolfgang comes home with Kala and Rajan after Paris. Finding a place with them. Star Trek: Rihannsu Day Comes Up New.  "I have done something spectacularly stupid," Arrhae said.  This is a wonderful extension and meditation on what might happen past canon.  Ever since I first read The Romulan Way as a teen, I've wondered what happened to Arrhae in the end, and the subsequent books were great but didn't answer the ultimate question.  This doesn't either, but it suggests something further, which I appreciate. Terminator Movies A Fistful of Sarahs.  The sky cracks open, and Sarah watches herself tumble out of a rift in the space time continuum. She’s older than she is now, and she’s got a lot more scars, and she’s carrying the biggest and weirdest looking gun Sarah’s ever seen. with all the hope in my heart (and doubt in my mind). Sarah Connor has done this before. Dani has not. Post-Terminator: Dark Fate. Fate, the Future, and Other Sons of Bitches.  Sarah and Dani hit the road. Winnie the Pooh In Which Pooh Hunts for the Meaning of Christmas.  Pooh finds a mysterious envelope pinned to the door of his house. In Which Eeyore Loses His Tail Again, Or At Least Plans To.  It's a bright, sunny day, and Eeyore has a plan to make it tolerable. Now if only his friends will cooperate.

[shayleas]

My 12 favourite fictional characters, including from RPF fanfic:

1. Fanfic Bucky Barnes [Captain America] - Sebastian Stan’s MCU version too, though.  Both are my favourite fictional character of all time, and I was lucky enough to meet Sebastian last year and thank him for Bucky and give both him and Bucky a hug.  Bucky has been through so much and he’s still standing, still fighting, and he’s never been corrupted, he’s still a good, decent, loyal and loving man.  He’s the only fictional character I’ve ever been in love with.

2. Fanfic Steve Rogers [Captain America]  - Chris Evans’ MCU version too, barring the end of Endgame.  I love Steve’s righteousness and purpose and burning desire to serve the world.  I also love his loyalty....until the end.  Fuck the MCU forever.

3. Fanfic Louis Tomlinson [One Direction] - and the real person, who’s my personal hero and greatest inspiration and who literally gets me through every single day with his strength, his music, his sense of humour, his fighting spirit, his integrity, his loyalty and his determination.  

4. Sam Winchester [Supernatural] - Jared Padalecki’s version, because he’s still perfect even amidst the trash that’s season 15, he just gets better and better, and I’m going to miss him so much.  I love his intelligence and sensitivity, his powerful strength and his determination to be the best man he can be and do the best he can do for the world.  Sam Winchester is my hero, and if I could choose to have anyone on my side, it would be him.

5. Dean Winchester [Supernatural] - Jensen Ackles’ version, of course, because during the first ten or so years of the show he was absolutely perfect.  His devotion to Sam is everything, and I love the sense of humour he used to have before the writers turned him into an idiotic clown.  He also used to be smart, skilled, driven to help people no matter the cost to himself - unless Sam was endangered in any way - and never gave up.

6. Fanfic Draco Malfoy [Harry Potter books] - I couldn’t stand him in the books, but I love what fanfic writers do with him.  They take a one-dimensional villain and explore what makes him behave that way and where that could take him, the man he could be if fleshed out into a real person.  They find the strengths in what JKR only portrayed as weaknesses, and fanfic Draco is charming and delightful and intelligent and strategic and usually extremely self-aware, while still being his same scheming Slytherin self. Thank you, fanfic writers.

7. Fanfic Harry Potter [Harry Potter books] - I also love what fanfic writers have made of him, a far deeper, more interesting character than the Harry of the books, with in-depth investigations of his trauma and its effects on him - the same for fanfic Draco above.  The HP books include a great deal of trauma, most of which is brushed over, and I love that the fandom still dedicates itself to dealing with it.

8.  Fanfic Patrick Kane [RPF ice hockey] - who doesn’t seem to exist in person, or at least no longer does, but I’m equally fascinated by the real man and who he’s become and everything that’s shaped him - plus I’m an absolute slut for his hockey.

9. Fanfic Jonathan Toews [RPF ice hockey] - and the real-life version too, because he’s gorgeous and lovely and hilarious and one of the very best, best, best people to exist.  His motto of Be Better inspires me every day.

10.  Jamie Benn [RPF ice hockey] - both fanfic and real.  Such a powerful leader, the most intense person I have ever encountered, fierce and protective, but also hilarious and adorable.  Jamie is one of my favourite human beings, and probably the only person on this list I would want to sleep with.

11.   Tyler Seguin [RPF ice hockey] - only in fanfic and on the ice.  He’s delightful in fanfic, and exquisite on the ice in real life.  There is so much potential good in him, and I hope he stops losing his way so badly and sorts his personal life out before it destroys him.  

12.  Buffy Summer [Buffy The Vampire Slayer] - my original fictional inspiration.  I’m nothing like her, but I wish I could be.  Again, a strong fighter, never gives up no matter what lives throws at her, always finds another way.  It’s also thanks to Buffy that I first discovered fanfic, so I really owe everything to her.

[superborb]

My AO3 reading history

~Inspired~ by the end of year memes, I was curious what my actual AO3 reading history was like. These data were directly scraped from the history page, so they're only as accurate as that. Namely, AO3 only gives you the date you last opened a fic and dynamically updates things like word count; also, some fics I might have opened without reading all the way through etc etc. So pretty fuzzy here.

Some interesting graphs for my own edification:

The number of works that I've read this year looks like a substantial increase over previous years, BUT remember that only the most recent visit "counts," so if I had a long fic that I most recently read in 2020... (I say to myself to make myself feel better.)

If you look instead at word count, what the actual fuck. Apparently I've opened / read 60 million words this year GOODBYE.

Word count by fandom:

I divided the word count equally among fandoms when multiple fandoms were present.

My top 10 list was:

1.9M words: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù

1.3M words: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)

405K words: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù

140K words: Hockey RPF

136K words: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngshiù

126K words: 琅琊榜 | Nirvana in Fire (TV)

124K words: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate

120K words: 魔道祖�� | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)

103K words: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

94K words: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)

Actually, I'm very surprised by this, because I didn't think I had read a lot of Hockey RPF this year? But I looked at the fics, and they were all longer fics that I had first read years ago, so I probably didn't remember it bc I didn't reread the whole thing. Ditto with Harry Potter.

However, the top slots all belonging to MXTX and related fandoms makes sense haha.

Word count by character and relationship:

For these, I didn't divide the word count, so numbers are not going to add up. I felt like it was a more fair comparison point though!

27.4M words: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

4.4M words: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

3.4M words: Jiāng Yànlí/Jīn Zǐxuān

3.2M words: No relationship

2.8M words: Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū

2.6M words: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo

2.0M words: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén

1.8M words: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén & Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

1.5M words: Liǔ Qīnggē/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū

1.3M words: Original Shěn Qīngqiū/Yuè Qīngyuán

27.0M words: Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

26.8M words: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

18.8M words: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín

17.2M words: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén

13.6M words: Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī

11.3M words: Niè Huáisāng

11.1M words: Jiāng Yànlí

9.7M words: Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín

8.2M words: Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán

7.9M words: Wēn Qíng

No surprises there, based on the top fandoms! I'm surprised there's so much Xicheng though, since I don't think I read very much of it.

Since 2013, I've encountered 539 deleted works. Feels like a lot, it's really a tiny fraction!

Technical notes:

I forked my AO3 code from @/regretsonmain, who also answered my extremely confused cookie questions (thanks again!). I added a bunch of parsing to get more info out of the history, and you can peek at the code here: https://github.com/superborb/ao3.

It turns out the AO3 timeout, when you load too many works at once (aka AO3 jail, thanks @/musikologie for that excellent term) is not as much a problem if you are just looking at your reading history! I thought this would be the main issue with scraping, but it was not. The code does handle it correctly and sleeps for a bit before trying again.

Anyway, I'm not sure what other interesting tidbits might be in this data... I'm very much not a data scientist haha. I got a bit bored of the data and didn't finish up the tag canonization checker which might be where more interesting stuff lies? But my conclusion from this is really that the reading history is not very informative about my reading habits, since it doesn't track what I reread most often, just what I click on.

[madlori]

Unveiled - Chapter 4

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Epilogue

by MadLori Word Count: 2800 Fandom: Men’s Hockey RPF Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin Rating: NC-17 (like, heed this, please) Tags: Arranged Marriage, Modern Royalty AU, Mpreg, Not Omegaverse, No Consent Issues, Veiled Sex, Weird Traditions, Don’t Think Too Hard, Handwavey Biology

Definitely sex in this one.

Zhenya gets to know Sidney a little more, and enjoys some more intimate time with his consort. 

Read it on AO3

The next day’s 3:00 p.m. appointment was just as satisfying as their first. Zhenya entered the bedchamber to find his consort waiting for him, veiled as before, except instead of sitting primly, he was already stretched out on his side, looking relaxed and even...eager. He’d reached up to help Zhenya off with his dressing gown and pulled him down to the bed. Zhenya had lain between his legs to enter him this time, pushing his thighs back against his chest to spread him wide. The consort had wrapped those thick legs around Zhenya’s waist, pulling him closer and placing his hands on Zhenya’s chest, and Zhenya had come so hard he feared the top of his head had blown off. Afterwards, he’d slid down and taken his husband’s cock in his mouth to bring him to orgasm, his hands in Zhenya’s hair, tightening into fists when he came.

Over the next few days, life began to settle into normalcy. Matters of state demanded Zhenya’s attention, but he would not hear of missing their appointments -- it certainly made an excellent excuse for getting out of boring meetings. Several times he saw his husband walking on the grounds or inside the palace, always heavily draped and always accompanied by his guards. On two occasions, those guards included his midnight snack friend Sidney, looking sharp and handsome in his uniform -- he also had a spectacular ass, Zhenya couldn’t help but notice. What was in the water over there in New Scotland that it produced so many handsome and well-proportioned men? All of his husband’s male guards were excessively pleasing to look at -- the female guards were, as well, but Zhenya took less notice of them, as they were not to his taste. The second in command of the guard, Lieutenant Letang, looked like an Instagram model.

It only whetted Zhenya’s appetite further to know what his husband looked like beneath his drapings and veils. He hoped fervently for him to conceive, so that the countdown to their embargo’s end could begin and they could anticipate his unveiling together.

---------

On the fifth day after his marriage, Zhenya went to the stables after breakfast, for no real reason other than to visit his horses and perhaps brush them, an activity he found soothing. When he arrived, he found Sidney there, standing at a stall and feeding apple slices to Lady Esther, a sweet-natured gray mare, cooing to her softly and stroking her neck. She looked quite besotted, which Zhenya could understand. Sidney looked up when Zhenya entered but did not snap to attention, merely smiled in greeting. “Good morning, Your Royal Highness,” he said. 

“Good morning,” he said, mildly confused to find him there.

“I hope you don’t mind my visiting your stables,” he said. “I love horses and miss the ones I had to leave behind in New Scotland.”

“I don’t mind.” Zhenya said, picking up a brush. “I’m sure they will appreciate the extra attention.” He went into Admiral’s stall and began brushing him. “You grew up with horses?”

Sidney hesitated for a moment. “I started out working as a groom on the Duke and Duchess’s estate, that’s how I met His Highness. I was a good rider in my youth and nearly became competitive, but...it didn’t work out.”

Zhenya didn’t press the matter. “You’re welcome to ride here.”

Sidney looked up at him. “Really?”

“Of course. Except for Admiral, he is mine. All the other horses are for the use of the palace residents and staff. The grooms can advise you on which horse might suit you.” He smiled. “Lady Esther might be a little tame for your taste.”

Sidney stroked her nose. “She’s a sweetheart. That’s my taste.”

Zhenya made a quick decision. “Care to go for a ride now?”

“Could we?” Sidney said, wide-eyed.

“Sure. I have a little free time, if you have.”

“I’m not back on duty until after lunch.”

“Then let me show you my favorite trail.”

The grooms saddled Admiral and Lady Esther -- Sidney could not be dissuaded -- and they rode out towards the lake.

“It’s beautiful here,” Sidney said, after a few minutes’ silence.

“It is. I’m so used to it, it’s useful to be reminded.” He glanced over at his companion’s strong profile. “What does New Scotland look like?”

“It’s on the water, quite rocky. It has its own beauty, but here it feels...wider.”

“You miss it.”

“In a way. It’s where I was born and raised. But there comes a time when you want something new.”

Zhenya sighed. “I wouldn’t know. I am bound to this land, by blood and law. I may visit other places, but here is where I was born and where I shall die.”

They were quiet for a moment. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes.”

“Why isn’t your brother the crown prince? He’s older, is he not?”

“Yes, he is. My brother was unwilling to go through the embargo. He abdicated his claim to the throne many years ago.”

“He was...unwilling?”

“He has taken a calling to orders, which disqualifies him from being King.”

“I see. And you felt no such calling?” Sidney’s voice was cautious.

“My faith is what you might call...performative.”

Sidney grinned. “A heathen King?”

Zhenya laughed. “Don’t spread that around. I respect that it’s important to many of my citizens, although I know there are many who wouldn’t care. Sometimes I feel dishonest, to go through the motions for their benefit, but I must weigh my conscience against the health of my reign.”

“But you believe in the embargo.”

“The embargo may have the trappings of a matter of devotion, but in reality it’s a practical consideration, not a religious one. It began as a sacred rite, but now it’s more a cultural practice.”

Sidney nodded. “That’s well-put.”

“My husband is more...devoted, is he not?”

He glanced at Zhenya. “What makes you think so?”

“His strict observance of the embargo.”

“As you say, the embargo is more cultural than religious.”

“So he is not? Religious?”

“You’d have to ask him, once you’re allowed. But I would say...casually? Observing the holidays, and such.”

“Ah. In that we are similar.” They rode in silence for a few minutes. “A question of my own, if I may?”

“Of course.”

“You seem very...comfortable with me. Informal, even. I don’t mind -- in fact, it’s refreshing -- but it’s not an attitude I often encounter.”

Sidney shifted in his saddle and looked away, seeming a bit uncertain how to answer. “I apologize if I presume too much on such a short acquaintance.”

“I said I didn’t object. You are not one of my subjects, after all. You report to the consort.”

“Perhaps it’s my long acquaintance with him that’s to blame. I’ve grown accustomed to a casual manner with those far above my station. He encourages such familiarity from those around him.”

“It’s been my observation that those who insist on strict etiquette and become angry when the trappings of rank aren’t observed to the letter are those who are insecure in their station, and need people to bow and scrape to them to bolster their self-image.”

Sidney laughed. “That’s your observation, eh?”

“Do you disagree?”

“Not at all, I’m just surprised to hear a Crown Prince say so. But it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve surprised me, Your Royal Highness.” His eyes twinkled as he spoke the title, and Zhenya felt a guilty flutter in his stomach. Sidney beamed a wide smile, and the flutter became a full on gut-twisting wrench -- the man had the most beautiful smile Zhenya had ever seen.

-------

The next morning, Sasha was lurking around Zhenya’s quarters, polishing shoes, while Zhenya sat reading his morning dispatches and having his tea. “You went riding with that guard yesterday,” Sasha said.

“What of it?”

He shrugged. “Nothing. Just...you know how tongues wag around here.”

“What is there to wag about?”

Sasha gave him an are you serious look. “He is exceedingly good-looking.”

“Is he? I hadn’t noticed.” He stared at Sasha and silently dared him to call him a liar.

Sasha just shrugged. “If you wanna fuck him, then fuck him. That guy’s a four-course meal, nobody will judge you.”

“Oh, they won’t?”

“Zhenya, you’re in an arranged marriage. Nobody in an arranged marriage is expected to give up pleasurable dalliances, or even love affairs, if any come along. Once your husband’s given you an heir, he could get his own bit on the side if he wants to.”

“A week ago, I’d have agreed with you.”

Sasha put down his shoe polish and walked over to refill Zhenya’s tea, his eyes flicking to Zhenya’s face. “This consort of yours has you rattled, doesn’t he?”

Zhenya sighed. “He’s…” He hesitated. “You know Seryhoza has been giving him all the daily dispatches and reports?”

“Yes.”

“Every afternoon I find them on my desk, covered in notes. Ideas, suggestions, even corrections. And you know what? He’s always right. I’m starting to think he should be running the country, not me.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that...well, obviously I don’t know him. But his associates are devoted to him. I’ve yet to hear a bad word spoken of him. The way he’s been with me, even in what limited contact we’re allowed…” He trailed off. “I think he must be extraordinary.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I think I could love him. Perhaps we could love each other. It could be more than an arranged marriage. He’s fulfilled everything I could have asked for from an embargoed consort and more. I can’t justify throwing away that chance after less than a week because one of his guards has a brilliant smile and a spectacular ass.”

“Your consort’s ass is nothing to shake a stick at, you know.”

Zhenya smiled. “I’m saying there’s no harm in waiting until the embargo is lifted and I can get to know him properly before everyone writes off our marriage as a loveless arrangement and we get carte blanche to fuck other people.” He shrugged. “Maybe he’ll have a horrible shrill voice and it’ll be so off-putting the whole enterprise will be doomed.”

“Oh, no. He’s got a very nice voice, not shrill at all.”

Zhenya sat straight up. “You’ve heard his voice?” he exclaimed.

Sasha just looked at him like he’d grown another head. “Zhenya, you do know that the whole no-talking rule is only for you, right? He can talk to whoever else he likes, as long as you can’t hear him.”

The rub was, Zhenya did know that, but in his momentary flash of jealousy that Sasha had heard his husband’s voice, he’d forgotten himself. “Of course. I’m...yes.” He frowned. “You haven’t seen him, have you?”

“Oh, God, no. That rule’s for everybody.” He stood up and took Zhenya’s breakfast tray. “I’ll be back to dress you in a bit.” He left with the tray, shutting the door behind him.

He hadn’t been gone more than ten seconds before there was a knock at the door -- not the bedroom door, but the door that led into the royal bedchamber. It could be nobody but his consort. Zhenya started to call for him to come in, then remembered himself. He got up and went to the door and opened it.

His consort was standing back a little in the usual garb he wore in this chamber -- nothing at all save his veils, the ones Zhenya was beginning to think of as his sex veils. Zhenya’s eyes slid down his toned stomach to his cock, which was semi-hard. He was a little surprised that his husband would come to him outside their scheduled appointments -- confirmed every day via messengered card just as they had been the first time -- but it was a pleasant surprise.

The consort reached out and took Zhenya’s hand, pulling him into the chamber and shutting the door after him. He began removing Zhenya’s nightclothes and leading him back to the bed. Once he’d gotten him naked and laid out on his back, he knelt next to him -- it was hard to tell behind the veils, but he seemed to be looking down at Zhenya’s face. Zhenya just waited -- clearly there was a plan here, and he’d be damned if he’d interfere with it. The consort reached out and placed his fingers over Zhenya’s eyes, gently urging him to close them. When he did, the man’s fingers pressed down a little, a clear message to keep them closed.

Zhenya lay there with his eyes shut, feeling his consort moving down the bed, the rustle of his veils moving against Zhenya’s skin, and then suddenly his warm mouth was around Zhenya’s cock. He gasped, keeping his eyes shut only with effort, and clutched at the sheets to keep from grabbing at him. 

The consort tapped his hip twice; Zhenya hoped that was a sign that he could open his eyes now. He did, and saw that his husband had spread his veils over Zhenya’s hips so that he could suck him without violating the embargo. The sight was unexpectedly erotic; he could not see his partner’s mouth on him, or even see himself. All he saw was the vague shape of his head and shoulders moving beneath the veils and his hands on Zhenya’s hips. The sensations were overwhelming. He was rock hard within seconds, biting at his lips to keep quiet. The consort was tonguing at the head of his cock in between long, luxurious strokes of his mouth down his shaft. It was exquisitely torturous.

Just when Zhenya was pondering how he’d communicate to him that he’d better stop or it would be too late, the consort pulled off and knelt up over him, his veils coming with him, keeping him concealed. He shifted to straddle Zhenya’s hips and sank down on his cock, his pussy wet and grasping. Zhenya’s hands flew to his husband’s waist and pulled him down tight; the consort covered Zhenya’s hands with his own and began to move, rolling his hips in tight arcs, his stomach clenching and his own hard cock straining away from his groin. Zhenya moved one hand to stroke him and his grinding movements sped up. The consort’s breathing sped up, he arched his back, his head tipping backwards; Zhenya could only imagine what his bared throat looked like, his flushed face…

Zhenya’s eyes widened as his brain brought up an image of Sidney’s face. What would Sidney look like, in the throes of arousal, riding him like this with his head thrown back and his cock swollen and insistent in Zhenya’s hand?

He grit his teeth and refocused on the actual man fucking him right now. Not Sidney. It didn’t need to be Sidney; his consort was all he needed, all he wanted. How could he want anyone else, when he had this impossibly sexy husband who was driving him to such ecstasies?

Zhenya was determined to get him off first. He licked his palm and stroked the consort’s cock from root to tip, giving the head a little twisting flourish that he knew was very effective when he used it on himself. The consort jerked and whined, deep in his throat, and Zhenya knew he was finding it equally effective. It only took a few more strokes before he was coming all over Zhenya’s stomach. His consort’s body pulsing around Zhenya’s cock pulled his own orgasm from him and he came, straining upwards to fill him as deeply as he could. The consort sucked in a deep breath, grasped Zhenya’s hand and placed it flat and low on his belly, covering it with both of his own and pressing it firmly to him as they shuddered together. 

Wetness gathered in Zhenya’s eyes as he shared the wish that his husband was expressing, their hands clasped over his belly, the hope that even now their child might have been created inside him and was already growing. 

Zhenya relaxed into the bed and the consort sagged into the cradle of his hips, Zhenya’s cock still snugged tight inside him. Zhenya laced their fingers together and squeezed, hoping he got the message. The consort rested there for a moment, breathing hard, before rolling away and tucking his legs to his chest as he always did, that old wives’ tale position to help the seed reach his womb.

Zhenya rose and put his robe and pajamas back on. He put his hand over his heart and bowed slightly to his consort; he was still curled on his back on the bed, but his face was turned toward him and he answered the bow with a nod. Zhenya just wished he could see if he was smiling.

Next Chapter

[madlori]

Unveiled - Chapter 8

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Epilogue

by MadLori Word Count: 2300 Fandom: Men’s Hockey RPF Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin Rating: NC-17 (like, heed this, please) Tags: Arranged Marriage, Modern Royalty AU, Mpreg, Not Omegaverse, No Consent Issues, Veiled Sex, Weird Traditions, Don’t Think Too Hard, Handwavey Biology

NOTE: I posted chapter 7 earlier today - be sure you’ve caught up before moving on to this one.

Definitely yes sex in this one.

Read it on AO3

“How is your better half today?” Sasha asked, bringing Zhenya’s morning tea to his office. “Everyone’s been fretting about it.”

“He seemed much perkier this morning, actually. The doctor says it’s unpredictable, and that it comes and goes, but for a week now since the Judge’s dinner, it’s been more come and less go. I’m hopeful he will improve.”

Sasha nodded. “You sure have been talking a lot of walks,” he said, setting the tea and toast on Zhenya’s desk.

“So?”

“Walks down by the athletic fields.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Not a thing. If you weren’t looking for a certain guard out sparring with his comrades, there’d be even less wrong with that.”

“I’m not...looking for him.”

“No, you’re just frequently placing yourself in areas where you think he might be found.”

“That isn’t the same thing.”

“So if I were to tell you that just now I saw him and the other guards heading down there with their sparring gear, you’d say thank you, Sasha, that’s so interesting, and go back to reading the paper, right?”

Zhenya sat up straight, unable to keep himself from reacting. “Uh...yes. Of course.” He sat back, picking up the paper again.

Sasha laughed. “You asshole. Go. Better hurry.”

Zhenya hurried to his quarters and threw on exercise clothes, telling himself he was just going for a run, and made a beeline for the athletic fields. The Consort’s guards were there, but he was almost too late -- they were gathering up their gear. Sidney was among them, sweaty from his exertion and looking like a god.  “Good morning, Your Royal Highness,” Fleury said, bowing.

“Good morning, Fleury. I’d hoped to get in some sparring practice myself, but I see I’m too late.”

Every one of the guards’ heads swiveled to look at Sidney. Nobody was fooled. Sidney’s eyebrow arched. “I could stay behind; I’m not on duty until this afternoon.”

“Well, there you go,” Fleury said, a bemused look on his face. “Come on, boys, Sid’s teaching private lessons.” They all trooped back up the hill, leaving them alone on the pitch.

Zhenya just stood there, feeling tongue-tied. Now that it was just him and Sidney, he didn’t know what to say, especially after their last conversation had ended so awkwardly. “I haven’t seen you around recently,” he said.

“It’s a big palace. His Highness has been sick, we’ve all been running errands for him. I spent a whole day scouring the city for this one brand of ginger ale he wanted.”

“He seemed much improved this morning.”

“Yeah, I think so, too. He said he was feeling pretty...spry.”

“I’m glad. Thank you for your efforts.”

Sidney shrugged. “I do what I can to help.” He tossed Zhenya a quarterstaff. “Let’s go, then. You wanted to spar.”

Zhenya took the staff, his least proficient skill. Sidney came at him, and he countered; for a few moments the only sound was their staffs striking each other. “I thought you might have been avoiding me,” Zhenya finally said, stepping back to catch his breath.

“Why would I do that?” Sidney said.

“After...what I said in the stable, the last time.”

“What kind of man would I be if I punished my friend for acting honorably?”

“So we are friends, then.”

Sidney stepped toward him, lifting his staff. “You were the one who said we might not be.”

Zhenya sighed. “I just -- I need to keep it straight in my head.”

“What’s to keep straight? You’re allowed to have friends.”

“I know. But you…” Zhenya stepped back and out of the spar. “Surely you know that I value you as a friend.”

“But you want more.”

“I can’t have more.”

Sidney planted his staff and leaned on it, sweat glistening at his temples and a flush of exertion staining his cheeks and making his full lips even redder than usual. “Zhenya, you’re the crown Prince. I’m a guard, and a temporary one at that. Whatever association you and I have is entirely up to you. You have your husband, who you are bound to by honor and the law. And then there’s me.” He grabbed his staff and came at him again.

“You know what it is that brings me to you,” Zhenya growled, low, striking faster and faster. Sidney’s breath sped up as he countered, their feet dancing on the grass.

Sidney shook his head. “Same thing that’s brought people sniffing around my door since I was sixteen years old,” he said, his tone matter-of-fact.

Zhenya stepped back. “You think that’s it? Your pretty face and your body?”

Sidney crowded up close, swung his staff, feinted and struck Zhenya behind his knees, knocking him onto his back. He crouched over him, staff planted next to his ear. “Tell me you don’t want me,” he said, his voice low and electric. Zhenya felt the jolt all the way up his spine.

“If I wanted an easy encounter, I could go out and have one. You don’t have the only good ass in this city,” Zhenya bit out.

Sidney cocked his head and smirked. “I beg your pardon. It’s a great ass.”

Zhenya burst to his feet, pushing Sidney back so he landed on the ass in question. “What are you trying to do here?” he said, looming over him. “I came out here to apologize.”

“And you have. I accept.”

“So what is this?”

For the first time, Sidney looked unsure of himself. “I...I don’t know. I'm as confused as you are, Zhenya. I never meant...things got out of hand. This was not the plan,” he said, this last bit said under his breath.

“Look,” Zhenya said, taking a step back. “Yes, I’m attracted to you, all right? But I also like you, I’ve liked you from the first. And I know I’m not...it wouldn’t be…” He broke off and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “I met my husband the day I married him. I’ve still never heard his voice or seen his face. I wouldn’t be the first embargoed prince to have…”

“A bit on the side?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Might as well have.”

“I didn’t expect any of this, either. My husband, he’s...not what I thought he’d be. Even through the embargo, I feel like I see him.”

The eyebrow again. “Oh you do, do you?”

“I don’t expect you to understand. I always hoped that maybe someday, I’d grow to be fond of him.”

“But ‘someday’ came faster than you expected, right? You’re already fond of him.”

“I feel obligated to him in a way I didn’t think I would.” He took a deep breath, then held out a hand to help Sidney to his feet, then pull him near. “You’re right,” he said, low. “I do want you. I want you so badly I can’t think straight from it sometimes.” Sidney was looking up at him with those wide, pretty eyes, his hard pulse visible in his throat. Zhenya ached for him, the ache made sharper with the knowledge that he couldn’t have him. “But he doesn’t deserve that.”

Sidney made a half-choked noise deep in his throat, then nodded, cutting his eyes down to the ground. “No, he doesn’t.” He shook his head, a wry smile curling his lips. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“You saying no is making me want you more.” He squeezed Zhenya’s hand and let it go, took the staff from him and walked quickly away.

Zhenya stood there for a few moments and debated going after him, but in the end he just trudged back to the palace, an untidy mix of relief and disappointment coursing through his veins.

---------

It was later than his usual bedtime when Zhenya retired after dinner with his parents and his brother, who was visiting from the mountainside holy retreat where he lived. He’d taken a new name, Victor, as his monastic name and Zhenya was still getting used to it. Victor hadn’t been present at the wedding but was thrilled to learn he was to be an uncle, throwing his arms around Zhenya and crying with joy. It was a warm and happy evening, and he was in a good mood as he entered the room he shared with his consort.

A mood that only improved when he discovered what awaited him there. The lights were dim, candles had been lit, and his consort had attractively arranged himself on their large bed, deliciously nude save for his veils. Zhenya stopped short just inside the door, soaking in this welcome. He shut the door and approached, smiling widely. He gestured to everything, including the consort himself, pressing his hands to his heart to indicate his deep approval of all of it.

The consort knelt up on the bed, touched his stomach and gave a thumbs-up, then flexed playfully, which Zhenya took to mean that he was feeling better and healthy. Zhenya reached out and touched his veiled cheek, then pointed to the bathroom. The consort nodded and resumed his reclining pose on the bed, a hand slung over his hip, making Zhenya want to be quick about it.

He stripped and took a fast shower, his cock fattening with the thought that he might be getting sex tonight for the first time in well over a week. That wasn’t a long time, but after the frequent couplings of their first few weeks together, it felt like an eternity.

When he returned to the bed, his consort’s hands were eager on his body, laying him out and stroking him. He shimmied down Zhenya’s chest and got his mouth on him fact, with a practiced shifting of his veils. Zhenya groaned -- they’d both grown a little lax with nonverbal sex noises, despite the embargo -- and rested his hand on the back of the consort’s head. No sooner was he fully hard than the consort pulled away. He straddled Zhenya’s hips on his knees and shuffled closer, his own hard cock jutting towards him; Zhenya put a hand on it, wondering what this man had in store for him tonight.

He didn’t have to wait long to find out. The consort picked up one of his hands and guided it around to his ass, pushing Zhenya’s fingers between his cheeks...Zhenya’s eyes widened as he realized that his husband had obviously prepared himself ahead of time. His asshole was slick with lube; Zhenya’s fingers slid in with little to no resistance. The consort reached under the pillow and pulled out the lube; he handed it to Zhenya, then turned and faced away from him. He got on all fours and spread his thighs, presenting his ass; Zhenya’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. The consort turned his head to look over his shoulder at him, as if to ask what Zhenya was waiting for.

He scrambled to his knees, uncapping the lube…but first, this ass deserved to be worshiped. He bent low and kissed the flesh, leaving quick bites all over the smooth skin, his hands kneading it. He bent and swiped his tongue up his husband’s center, drawing shudders and growls from him. Lubing his fingers, he slid three into him, twisting and crooking them to find just the right spot. The consort’s back arched and he writhed in pleasure, his hands fisting in the bedsheets and his chest heaving. He reached back and grabbed Zhenya’s hip, yanking him close. Zhenya grinned; evidently someone was impatient tonight.

Zhenya lubed his cock -- he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this hard in his life -- and seated it against his consort’s asshole. He gripped his hips and pushed forward; the consort’s head sagged down and he pressed back against him, taking more of Zhenya’s cock into his body. Zhenya’s cock was not small, and he knew to take this slowly, but his consort had other ideas. Before Zhenya could inch forward, he pushed back hard, and Zhenya slid all the way inside him. He gasped and clutched the consort’s hips, his groin pressed against the man’s ass. The consort was making a barely-there whine in the back of his throat, his pelvis shifting as he seated Zhenya’s cock deep inside him...and then he pulled off and thrust back, obviously ready. Zhenya made a few experimental thrusts; God, he felt amazing, hot and tight and so responsive, always wanting more. He grasped the consort’s veiled shoulder with one hand and his hip in the other and fucked him, as hard and fast as the consort was demanding with every movement of his body against Zhenya’s.

He shifted his angle a little until he found the right one to drive his consort mad. He knew it when he hit the spot; the consort’s whole body jerked and shuddered. Zhenya slid one hand beneath him to stroke his mate’s cock; he found it hard and leaking already. His hand was batted away and a quick thumbs-down popped up; evidently, his mate didn’t like to be jerked off while getting fucked. Zhenya wanted him to come, though, and wondered if they could manage that without either of them touching the consort’s cock. 

He needn’t have worried about it. After a few minutes his husband’s body went taut, and he came without his cock being touched at all. Zhenya didn’t know whether to be amazed at his consort, or at himself, but he didn’t have much time to debate because after a few more strokes he was coming, too. He allowed himself a cry of ecstasy as he spilled into his consort’s body. Zhenya sagged against the consort’s back, breathing hard, his cock softening inside him. The consort reached back to cup the back of Zhenya’s neck; Zhenya dared to shift the veils just enough to bare a little bit of his shoulder and kiss it reverently, his mind clear of anything -- of anyone -- but this.

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