#my favorites are Hudson and Molasses

[shorthistorian]

There are new retro-90s-style Beanie Babies and they're amazing???

[esperantoauthor]

Title: Let Me Hold Your Hand Author: Esperanto | Beta Reader: @blaineandersimp Rating: T Status: Complete (4,349 words) Genre: Hurt/Comfort (emotional)

Summary: For months now, Kurt has wanted nothing more than for Blaine to hold his hand. He has yearned for it, ached for it. But now, now that it is finally happening the only hand Kurt wants to hold is his Dad’s. [or, what if the order of events in season 2 were different and Burt's heart attack happened *after* Kurt and Blaine became close friends?]

✨ Read it on Ao3 or below the cut ✨

It started off as a painfully ordinary day.

Life-changing events shouldn’t be allowed to happen on days like this, with the sun shining and fluffy white clouds in the air. On a day when his pop quiz was cancelled and they actually served something edible in the cafeteria. It should have happened on a horribly overcast day where a thick layer of cloud cover kept the sun from shining a single ray of hope down to the ground.

It shouldn’t have happened at all.

—

Terror grips his heart as soon as Ms. Pillsbury pulls him out of class. He can see the bad news written in the stern lines of her face.

“Kurt, your father had a heart attack.”

The world shatters around him, splintering into a thousand jagged pieces that catch against his skin. Kurt blurts out the first question that pops into his head.

“Is he dead?”

Kurt presses through the rushing in his ears to hear her response. “No, Kurt. He’s in critical condition; that’s all they would tell me. Kurt, I’m so sorry; you must be so scared.”

The air around him is thick like molasses, his face is numb, and his heart is pounding so loudly he can hear each beat ricocheting around in his skull. He doesn’t know what this feeling is. Desperation? Shock?

He stares at her wordlessly, eyes wide, as his world falls apart.

She looks so earnestly concerned that Kurt wants to slap her. How dare she look so sympathetic when she has no idea what this feels like. What it feels like to be going through this for the second time.

“I need to see him, please,” he begs.

“Of course,” Ms. Pillsbury says with a nod. “I’ll take you there now.

—

Coma.

Kurt flexes the fingers in his hands, stretching them out as far as he can, wiggling each finger just to feel his own body move, to make sure it is still there.

His father is in a coma.

Kurt wishes he had written down what the doctor had told him because he’s already forgotten most of it. Not that word though. He’s watched enough soap operas and medical dramas to know that a coma is bad. Really bad. It’s the kind of thing people wake up from with amnesia. At least on TV.

They won’t let him in the room and it takes every ounce of control he possesses not to scream in frustration. He imagines the windows in the ICU waiting room shattering but instead he finds a vending machine and fumbles his way into procuring a diet coke.

The drink is blessedly cold and the sugar seems to kickstart his brain a little bit. When was the last time he ate? Kurt is not sure how much time has passed.

Ms. Pillsbury is still sitting primly in the waiting room chair, glancing nervously whenever someone coughs. Kurt remembers that she is a germaphobe and in a brief moment of clarity he manages to feel grateful that she is here with him anyways, even if it must be hard for her to be in a place like this, surrounded by germs and disease.

“Kurt? There are a few things we need to get settled.”

What could possibly matter when his father is lying in a room somewhere and no one can tell him if he is going to wake up?

“I need to make sure that someone is looking after you tonight. We need to find you a friend or a relative to stay with.”

“I want to stay here,” he says firmly.

She presses her lips together. “I’ll see if that can be arranged. But right now, no one knows besides you, me, and Principal Figgins. I can’t stay here all night with you Kurt but I don’t want you to be alone. Is there a friend who might come sit with you?”

Kurt nearly asks for Mercedes but instead… “I guess I could call Blaine.”

“Who’s that?”

“He’s a friend of mine. He doesn’t go to McKinley but I… I feel safe when he’s around.”

Ms. Pillsbury nods softly and writes down the name. “Who else? Anyone close to Burt who should know? Do we need to call his workplace?”

“Oh my god, Carole! No one has told Carole.”

Ms. Pillsbury looks at him with a puzzled expression.

“My dad’s girlfriend,” he explains. “Carole Hudson? Finn’s mom.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful I didn’t realize that they were involved.”

Kurt finds her sudden perkiness unsettling. He clears his throat and looks at her expectantly.

“Would you like me to call her?”

“Please.”

—

When Kurt asks him to come to the hospital, for a brief terrible moment Blaine fears that the worst has happened and Karofsky has made good on his threats. Rage boils red hot in his chest at the thought of anyone harming Kurt, who is the best person he’s ever met.

“It’s my…it’s my dad, Blaine.” Kurt can barely get the words out, his voice cracking on the word ‘dad.’

“I’m on my way.”

—

The messy head of curls peering around the room is the first good thing that Kurt has seen since he heard the news. He catches Blaine’s eye and waves him over. Blaine deftly weaves his way through the backpacks and nurses until he makes it to the corner where Kurt and Ms. Pillsbury are waiting.

Blaine just stares at him, hazel eyes wide, before he pulls Kurt into his arms for a bone crushing hug. “I’m so sorry, Kurt. So, so sorry,” he whispers into Kurt’s ear, pulling him tighter, rubbing up and down his back.

It is the first moment of true comfort he has experienced since he heard the news and somehow that breaks the dam. Tears, hot and messy, finally come and he buries his face in Blaine’s shoulder, letting the thick fabric of Blaine’s sweater absorb his sorrow.

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine says softly.

Somehow Blaine lowers them both onto the bench without letting go of Kurt. Kurt holds tight to the front of Blaine’s sweater, unwilling to chance that he might pull back before Kurt is ready for the world to see his face.

Blaine just lets Kurt use him, soak up comfort from him, asking nothing in return. He says nothing to acknowledge that they have only hugged briefly a few times before this and surely Kurt is asking too much of his friend right now.

But Blaine just lets him. Folds himself into whatever shape Kurt needs and just holds him, keeps him steady, supports him so he doesn’t fall to the floor and actually crack into pieces.

“Thank you for coming, Blaine,” he hears Ms. Pillsbury say, making conversation as if Kurt can’t hear them. “I’m so glad he has a friend to support him during this difficult time. Or… he said friend but, I mean…” she fumbles over her words.

Blaine’s chest bounces a few times with silent laughter. “We’re just friends, ma’am.”

“I’m just glad that he has someone. Kurt doesn’t… he doesn’t open up easily. Glee club has been so good for him. He’s made friends and they look out for each other. Will you two be alright if I head out? Carole is getting here as quickly as she can.”

“I’ve got him,” Blaine assures her.

—

After an eternity, they finally let Kurt see his dad.

Blaine shuffles his feet awkwardly. He wants to do whatever Kurt needs but he doesn’t know what that is. Does Kurt need moral support when he sees his dad for the first time or would it better to give him privacy? How is he supposed to know something like that? But asking feels like a burden.

A warm hand slips into Blaine’s. “Come?” Kurt asks hesitantly. Blaine nods and follows Kurt. He wonders where he wouldn’t follow his friend.

The door creaks when they open it and Kurt lets out a little gasp when he finally lays eyes on his father. There’s a feeding tube running into his nose and electrodes stuck to his skin, monitors beeping out their indecipherable codes. But at least they are beeping which is better than the alternative.

Kurt squeezes his hand so hard that Blaine grits his teeth. He waits for Kurt to move, to take a step towards his dad, perhaps to run to him. But Kurt just stands there, frozen.

Blaine gives him a minute but then, when he still doesn’t move, he pulls gently on Kurt’s hand, urging him to walk closer. Kurt finally snaps out of it and then suddenly he is the one dragging Blaine over to the bed.

“Dad,” he cries out. “I’m here, Dad. Please, you need to wake up.”

Blaine’s hand hurts but he resolves that he isn’t going to let go until Kurt decides it is time. His friend needs him and if this is what he has to give then it is Kurt’s, for as long as he needs it. Kurt who is so strong and so kind. Kurt whose whole world is this middle-aged mostly bald man that Blaine has only met once.

—

For months now, Kurt has wanted nothing more than for Blaine to hold his hand. He has yearned for it, ached for it. But now, now that it is finally happening the only hand Kurt wants to hold is his Dad’s.

“Squeeze my hand, Dad. I need to know that you can hear me.”

Nothing. Just a cold, limp hand that doesn’t squeeze back.

So he holds onto Blaine’s because it is warm and full of life and Kurt needs that right now. It crosses his mind that if circumstances were different, this would be exhilarating. If circumstances were different. He swallows thickly. He would give anything for circumstances to be different. He would even give up Blaine, who is becoming so important to him so fast, for circumstances to be different.

“Did I ever tell you about my tea parties?” he asks Blaine.

Blaine smiles fondly and shakes his head.

“It was one of my favorite games when I was little. I would arrange all of my stuffed animals and action figures, setting out little plates of cucumber sandwiches and giving everyone just the amount of sugar and milk that they asked for, making sure that everyone had what they needed.”

“Of course you did,” Blaine says, his smile growing wider.

If Kurt’s heart hadn’t beat itself into exhaustion hours ago, it might have skipped a beat.

“It’s not every dad that will play tea party with their son but he always said ‘yes,’ no matter how ridiculous he thought it was.”

“My dad definitely wouldn’t have done something like that with me,” Blaine replies solemnly.

Kurt’s heart, already broken and bleeding, still manages to ache for his friend. Blaine rarely talks about his parents. Kurt had assumed they were just very busy being high-powered executives but this latest revelation suggests that there is more to it than that. He gives Blaine’s hand a comforting squeeze and a questioning look.

“It was a long time ago, Kurt.” Blaine shrugs. “The tea parties sound really special.”

He nods. “And after she… after we lost her. I hadn’t played with it in years but suddenly that was all I wanted to do. I just wanted everyone to have their tea and their cookies. Why was that so important to me?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine responds. “Maybe you wanted to take care of them just like your mom used to take care of you?”

“I—“ Kurt stares at him wonderstruck. “Yeah, maybe. I…I never thought about it that way.”

Blaine shrugs. “I mean what do I know? I wasn’t there. I just… I mean just from how you described it and knowing you I just thought…I don’t know, I mean, please ignore me, I don’t know anything.”

“You know me,” Kurt counters.

Blaine squeezes his hand.

“Yeah. I know you.”

—

Blaine tries to wiggle some of the feeling back into his fingers without waking Kurt. He told himself he would let Kurt hold his hand as long as he wanted but he hadn’t thought through the repercussions of Kurt falling asleep clutching his hand, head resting on Blaine’s shoulder. His circulation isn’t aware that Kurt needs him.

He manages to readjust his arm enough that the blood starts to flow back into his hand. He sighs to himself in the silence and the half-darkness.

Blaine isn’t sure how Kurt is able to sleep with the beeping of the machines and the nurses coming in once an hour to check Burt’s vitals.

He must be exhausted.

Blaine wonders if he should have gone home. He didn’t exactly plan to spend the night with Kurt in his father’s hospital room. He figured he would come by, be there for Kurt, make sure he had something to eat, and then return home a couple hours later. But once he was there… he couldn’t tear himself away. Why couldn’t he tear himself away? Why was Kurt’s pain so utterly heartbreaking to see? Why was he so determined to do anything in his power to ease it, even slightly?

Blaine has always been a caring friend but he can’t imagine himself doing anything like this for Wesley or David.

But Kurt is just… Kurt has the biggest heart of anyone Blaine has ever met and he simply cannot stand to sit idly by while it is breaking.

An idea, half-formed, presses at the back of his mind, not quite coherent enough yet to rise to the forefront of his thoughts, but there nonetheless. Answers to those questions. The reasons to the why. He tries again to find a comfortable position on the chair and closes his eyes, hoping he can sleep a little before the nurse comes back.

—

Kurt isn’t sure where he is when he first wakes up. It takes a few sleepy moments before the unfamiliar sounds and smells alert him to the fact that he is definitely not in his bedroom. He starts to lift his arm to rub the sleep from his eyes but something heavy is holding it down.

Blaine.

Kurt stills, not wanting to wake his friend. Blaine’s hair is adorably rumpled from sleep and his clothes, once so neatly pressed, are scrunched and stretched from shifting around all night. Kurt feels the hot breath of Blaine’s exhale hit his neck and a shiver runs down his spine. Careful not to wake him, Kurt untangles himself from Blaine and tiptoes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and make use of the change of clothes he’d asked Blaine to bring him.

He feels fresher when he returns to the room, two paper cups of coffee in hand and smelling like Blaine’s laundry detergent.

“I’m sorry about the pants,” Blaine says when Kurt returns to the room.

Kurt shrugs. “They’re clean, which is about all I care about right now.”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Blaine mutters as he accepts the coffee from Kurt. “You are a godsend, you know that?”

Kurt laughs and then he claps a hand to his mouth. His father is lying there in who knows what condition and here he is laughing.

“He would want you to laugh,” Blaine says softly.

Still stinging with embarrassment, Kurt lashes out. “How would you know?”

Blaine gapes at him. “I…I wouldn’t. I’m sorry, Kurt, I shouldn’t say stuff like that. I was trying to be comforting but, you’re right. I hardly know him. I just know how much he means to you.”

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I just… would it be ridiculous if I said it has been a long day?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Blaine offers his hand and Kurt accepts it gladly.

After coffee, they chat about reality TV and exchange show choir war stories, acting like Kurt’s world isn’t hanging in the balance just a few feet away in that hospital bed.

When the doctor comes by, Kurt listens eagerly for any scrap of good news but all he hears is that nothing has changed since yesterday.

The doctor leaves and Kurt sets his chair next to the bed, taking his father’s hand and silently begging him to give him a sign, give him anything to show that he is going to pull through this.

Blaine is there too, letting Kurt hold tight to him, letting Kurt hold his hand.

—

The exhaustion of barely sleeping the night before finally catches up with Blaine, and he nods off in his chair, head lolling onto Kurt’s shoulder.

When he wakes up, it is to the purest and most beautiful singing that he has ever heard.

Oh please, say to me

You'll let me be your man

And please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand

You'll let me hold your hand

I want to hold your hand

“I’m right here, Dad,” Kurt whispers. The words cut at Blaine’s heart like dull knives. He rubs his thumb over the knuckles on Kurt’s hand, hoping that his touch can offer some small comfort to his friend in this moment of despair.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“How long was I out?” Blaine asks.

“About an hour. The nurse came by ten minutes ago and said there was no change. Blaine… I keep asking but they keep saying there is no way to tell when he will wake up. It could be hours or days or… “ Kurt trails off as if he cannot bear the thought of a longer unit of time.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you. Is there anything else I can do to help? Do you want me to get anything from your house or…?”

“Just stay with me? Please.”

“As long as you want me to,” he promises.

Kurt smiles warmly at him and squeezes his hand. Kurt mutters something under his breath. Blaine can’t make out most of the words but he swears one of them is “always.”

Always. He turns the word over in his mind and in his heart. His chest feels warm. There is that thought again, not yet coherent but gradually taking shape. The reasons to the why.

“Dad?” Kurt’s voice pulls him from his thoughts. “Dad! I’m right here Dad.”

“Kurt?” Blaine doesn’t understand Kurt’s sudden excitement.

“He moved. Oh my god, Blaine, he moved; I’m sure of it. I squeezed his hand and then I felt it.”

Blaine jumps to his feet, fumbling for the call button which he can’t seem to locate. “Nurse! NURSE!” he shouts loudly. Footsteps sound in the hallway and one of the nurses appears in the doorway, out of breath.

“He moved!” Kurt says in disbelief, tears of joy welling up in his eyes. “He’s waking up. My Dad is waking up.”

The nurse jumps into action, fiddling with the monitors and clamping something onto Burt’s hand. “Kurt, I need to warn you, he may be very confused when he wakes up. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s important that you stay calm.” She turns to Kurt’s dad, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Mr. Hummel? It’s time to wake up Mr. Hummel. Your son really wants to say hello.”

At first, it seems as though nothing is happening. Burt’s fingers wiggle a few more times. Tears run down Kurt’s cheeks that he doesn’t bother to brush away.

Minutes pass.

Blaine wonders if he needs to remind Kurt to breathe.

Then eyelashes flutter and Burt’s cerulean eyes, the exact same shade as Kurt’s, crack open and Kurt let’s out an audible gasp.

“Dad? I’m here Dad. I’m right here.”

“Hey, kiddo,” Burt whispers roughly.

“Dad!” Kurt responds with wonder. Kurt leans forward and grasps his father’s hand with both of his now. Blaine’s hand drops heavily to his thigh. He stares at it as if a foreign object. He’s barely had it to himself for more than a few minutes to use the restroom since he got here. Kurt doesn’t need him anymore. His hand feels too light suddenly, without the weight of Kurt bearing down on it, keeping it grounded. He feels untethered.

Kurt is whispering in hushed voices with his father and Blaine leans back in his chair, the full weight of the past 24 hours hitting him all at once. He could probably sleep for a week. He tries to remember the last time he checked in with his parents, but he isn’t sure. He decides he needs to take a walk. Stretch his legs. Maybe hunt down some coffee. Have a few moments alone with his thoughts.

He’s about to tell Kurt where he is going but he can’t bear to interrupt the emotional family reunion happening beside him. Kurt won’t notice his absence. He leaves without a word.

The too-bright lights of the hospital thrum overhead as he wanders down the corridor. He looks to his left to see a family jubilant as they sign release papers, a middle-aged man in a wheelchair looking eager to go home. He looks to his right and he sees a woman sitting on the floor, head in her hands, weeping like the world is ending. The hospital is a topsy-turvy kind of place. Dreamlike, almost.

Eventually he finds a vending machine that dispenses coffee. Blaine isn’t looking forward to drinking it but at this point he needs the caffeine enough to be desperate. He inserts enough cash for two coffees and carefully punches the buttons so he doesn’t order the wrong thing.

The rhythmic thudding of his feet on the shiny linoleum floors feels grounding as he makes his way back to the hospital room.

“Blaine!” Kurt calls out his name eagerly when he enters the room. “I was worried you had left without saying goodbye.”

Blaine is surprised by how disappointed Kurt sounds.

“Nah, just went to get some coffees. I figured we could both use a little pick-me-up.”

“You are a gentleman and a scholar,” Kurt praises, reaching out his hand to accept the paper cup.

Kurt blows on the hot drink and gives Blaine a soft, contemplative look. “I don’t know how to thank you for this Blaine.”

“It’s just vending machine coffee, Kurt.”

Kurt bumps his knee into Blaine’s playfully. “You know that’s not what I mean. I can’t believe you stayed with me this whole time. Not a lot of people would do that.”

“There aren’t a lot of people I would do that for,” Blaine admits. Kurt is special. Kurt has always been special, but over the last 24 hours it has become painfully obvious to Blaine just how special he is. His devotion to his father has moved Blaine.

Oh.

There it is. The reason to the why.

Kurt smiles and holds his hand out, a question in his eyes. Blaine smiles and reaches back, lacing their fingers together.

“I can’t believe that before yesterday I’d never held a boy’s hand before. And now I’ve held one for 24 hours straight. I might never let you go, Blaine. I’m addicted.”

“I could think of worse things to endure,” Blaine says with a smirk.

They fall silent, neither boy sure what to say, but both of them feeling something huge and irrepressible bubbling up in their hearts. Kurt let’s his thumb trace circles lightly on Blaine’s skin and Blaine feels his heartbeat begin to pick up and his mouth turns to cotton.

“Kurt I—”

“Blaine?”

“I lied.”

Kurt flinches and yanks his hand back, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and distrust.

I’m doing this all wrong.

“No, no that’s not what I meant. I... “ he reaches hesitantly for Kurt’s hand, asking, “Please?”

Kurt nods hesitantly. Blaine takes Kurt’s hand, holding it firmly with both of his, looking right into Kurt’s eyes.

“When I said there weren’t many people I would do this for. I lied. The truth is that there is only one person I would do this for. Because there is only one person I care about that much, whose happiness means so much to me that I couldn’t bear to see him sad without doing everything I could to comfort him.”

“Wow, I… Blaine, that’s really sweet. You’re my best friend and—”

Blaine cuts him off because he can’t bear to hear Kurt misunderstand. “ — no, no that’s not what I mean!” He desperately wants Kurt to understand. He needs Kurt to understand. Words fail him but his hands have known what to do since he got here.

They do not fail him now. He is reaching and finding and holding and guiding. Kurt’s lips are salty with tears when he finally tastes them, yet somehow the sweetest thing he’s ever known.

Blaine pulls back and clamps his hand over his mouth in horror. He can’t believe what he’s just done. Kurt’s father nearly died and all he is thinking about is kissing. Kurt is vulnerable right now and here he is throwing himself at him. This has to be the most inappropriate thing he has ever done.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry, Kurt.” He leaps to his feet and pushes down the urge to bolt from the room.

Kurt looks up at him in amusement. He crosses his arms. “Well you should be.”

Blaine hangs his head. “I know. I know. I just, I haven’t slept and it has been such an emotional day— not that that is any excuse. That was deeply inappropriate, I mean your father is upstairs getting an EEG for crying out loud and—”

Blaine stops blabbering when he feels something brush his cheek. He lifts his head to see that Kurt is inches away from him. “You should be sorry for taking so long to figure it out, dummy.”

Blaine’s heart soars and their lips crash together. Kurt lets out a soft whine that electrifies Blaine’s heart.

Kurt’s hand finds his and their fingers intertwine. Blaine is so very happy that he let Kurt hold his hand.

Even better, now he never has to let go.

[alternaterealityphoto]

The other day I just had to get out of the house and took a very scenic drive to one of my favorite towns- Hudson, NY. The dashboard thermometer said 96 degrees and I took refuge in the lovely lounge of the Maker Hotel on Warren Street. I enjoyed a café au lait and the most intense molasses ginger cookie 🍪 I have ever had- it even had some chocolate chips in it! #hudsonvalley #hudsonvalleyny #hudsonriver #hudson #hudsonny #columbiacountyny #columbiacounty #themakerhotel (at Hudson, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CD4m8fzpcmo/?igshid=aazra0hquz9z

[binsofchaos]

The City Cook: Rock the Pantry

Welcome To My Pantry

Here's what I currently have in my pantry:

My Pantry Cupboard

When we moved into our apartment my very handy husband built me a floor to ceiling cabinet that fills a shallow space adjacent to the fire exit door in our kitchen. It's 25-inches wide, 6-inches deep and has twelve shelves. It is, relatively speaking to anything I ever had before, enormous. Compared to my friend Katherine's pantry in Connecticut, it is the size of a spice rack.

This cupboard currently holds:

On the top shelves -- 6 quarts of New Jersey tomatoes, 4 half-pints of peach jam, and 4 half-pints of red pepper jelly, all canned by moi last summer

Canned goods -- chickpeas, cannellini beans, artichoke hearts, oil-packed tuna, anchovies, sardines, San Marzano tomatoes, canned cherry tomatoes, tomato paste

Back-ups of things I always use and never want to run out of -- Hellman's mayo, Johnny Harris BBQ sauce, boxed chicken stock, Dijon mustard, Near East tabouli, tahini, cornichons, roasted red peppers, capers (to cook with), caperberries (for martinis), chutney, panko, breadcrumbs, fish sauce, red wine vinegar

Standbys (things I use often but not always but still want to have on hand) -- Gaea jarred olives, Davina tapenade, Tiptree seedless raspberry jam, peanut butter, Heinz Chili Sauce, lingonberries, cooking chocolate, yeast, bouillon cubes

Shelf-stable things -- honey, salt, vinegars (cider, rice wine, sherry, balsamic), pomegranate molasses

Tall bottles that fit on the bottom shelf – extra EVOO, canola oil, passata (tomato puree), spare CO2 canister for my Soda Stream machine, dry vermouth

I have a smaller, second kitchen cabinet that primarily holds baking ingredients and things that don’t fit in the tall, skinny cupboard:

Canisters of all-purpose flour, sugar

Light and dark brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, molasses, cocoa powder

Pastas, couscous, fregola, rices, grains

Large or awkward-sized jars of spices bought in bulk-- dried mint, 2 kinds of oregano (Sicilian and Greek), Espelette pepper, Egyptian cumin, hot sauces, red pepper flakes

Crackers, nuts, tea

I have a separate spice rack, one of those built into an otherwise useless sliver of space, that holds my other spices. I have my favorite spices and spice mixes that I replenish often enough so that they're fresh, although to be safe, I write their purchase date on the bottom of each jar with a Sharpie: garlic powder, black peppercorns, cinnamon (both sticks and ground), saffron strands, cayenne, paprika, ground ginger, coriander, sumac, fennel seeds, za'atar, curry powder, chili powder. Invariably, when doing my January purge, this is where I’ll find spices that I bought for one recipe and then never used again, making them stale and needing to be tossed, like whole nutmeg or a jar of Herbes de Provence bought on a vacation in Aix-de-Provence four years ago.

My Refrigerator

Sometimes I read interviews with famous people who are asked what they have right now in their refrigerators and the answer is a chilled still life of a piece of Parmesan and Champagne. If you opened mine today or any other day, you would find both of those items but much more:

Lemons

Eggs. Large, organic and brown.

Bacon

Flat-leafed parsley, thyme, rosemary

Yogurt. Usually Greek and either whole fat or 2%.

Half-and-half

Butter. Always unsalted organic and sometimes also salted French or Irish.

Mustards. Dijon, coarse, and with horseradish

Mayonaise. Hellman's, either full-fat or "light"

Miso

Coffee beans

A bottle of dry white wine, usually pinot grigio, just for cooking, and a bottle of Lillet, just for me

Bottles of water chilling to be zapped with our Soda Stream. I am addicted.

Opened containers of various condiments: fish sauce, maple syrup, sesame oil, hoisin, Worcestershire, horseradish, ketchup, sriracha, pickled jalapeños, sweet relish

Cheeses. French feta, Pecorino, the above-mentioned Parmesan, cream cheese, Friendship 1% cottage cheese (other cheeses come and go but these are my essentials)

Capers, cornichons, pickles, caperberries

Panko, breadcrumbs

A bag of organic carrots and stalks of celery

Bottle of salad dressing (my own vinaigrette that I make every few days in batches)

My Freezer

I'm lucky in that I have a rather large freezer at the base of my refrigerator and I make aggressive use of it. That means I almost always have a variety of chicken and meats on hand and I date them and then rotate them out, replacing things as I use them, usually buying when on sale. I try not to lose track of what's in the freezer but sometimes do and end up having three pork tenderloins in there at once.

Still, this is what I have there today and it's typical of what I usually keep around:

Package of Defour puff pastry

Two quarts of homemade chicken stock, made 3 months ago.

Duck fat from the last time I roasted a whole bird, which was 6 months ago.

Bags of vegetables: petite peas, artichoke hearts, spinach, pearl onions

Two quarts of tomato sauce made last summer with local NJ tomatoes. It's a basic sauce with no seasonings aside from garlic so I can use it in any number of recipes.

Butter. At the moment, two sticks of organic unsalted.

Nuts. Pine nuts, a bag of pecans from Schermer’s in Georgia, and a bag of amazing Bronte pistachios I bought on last fall’s trip to Sicily.

Pesto. Three small containers made in July when local basil was in season and inexpensive. This will taste like summer when I soon use it.

A plastic bag of Parmesan rinds I collect and add to soups, especially minestrone.

Meats: 1 lb. of ground lamb, 1 lb. of ground beef, 1 duck breast, 1 package of ground duck (I make Bolognese with it), 4 boneless chicken thighs, 2-pound piece of pork belly, 1 boneless NY strip steak, 2 on-the-bone pork chops from the Hudson & Charles butcher shop on Amsterdam Avenue

A 1-pound bag of wild shrimp from Whole Foods

Two ice packs used on my recently re-injured knee

No ice cream.

My Countertop 

I have a large white porcelain bowl in which I keep aromatics, usually red onions, yellow onions, garlic, ginger, and shallots.

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

“gingernuts”

(from Wikipedia)  “A ginger biscuit, ginger nut or ginger snap is a globally popular biscuit based snack food, flavoured with ginger. Ginger biscuits are flavoured with powdered ginger and a variety of other spices, most commonly cinnamon, molasses and nutmeg. There are many recipes for ginger nuts.”

Since I began writing Sherlock fanfic, one of my favorite head canons has been that Sherlock has a very decided sweet tooth, with a distinct preference for gingerbread. Imagine my surprise & delight to see him so enthusiastically (even manically) comfirm such in “The Six Thatchers”.

So do forgive me as I shamelessly pat myself on the back a bit,  (under the cut, of course)

as the literary life of an author who dares to write OC’s is a dusty, sometimes lonely one, and usually consigned to have her works mostly ignored as they stray from acceptable ship.  Regardless of my unpopular presumption, I got something quite right after all. 

from Goodnight, Mr. Holmes (or, Ginger CAN Distract the Man) (published 3-2014)

“...Her hair had smelled like ginger tonight...[and as] it turned out the ginger was his favorite.  He knew this was tied in with childhood memories and his tendency towards a sweet tooth.  If his mind wasn’t too focused on a current task, he found the scent could send him fondly back to stealing into the kitchen as a boy, to nick some fresh baked ginger bread or cookies from the rack where his mother had set them to cool. His mother usually looked the other way, indulging her youngest even when it might very well spoil his appetite for supper.  He smiled at that, and turned onto his side, adjusting his pillow a bit in hopes a new position might favor the winding down he needed to fall asleep....”

and later, in Sherlock’s mind palace:     “...Sherlock was dumbfounded.  Intellectually, he knew John had appeared in his Mind Palace because he represented emotion in this equation.  But he had not looked to find John there, or the homey answers John would offer.  This was not going at all as Sherlock had hoped; it certainly wasn’t going to get him any closer to putting the Tessa-issue aside so he could get a decent night’s rest. He ruffled his hair aggressively, hoping to stimulate an awakening of common sense.  He looked back at John, sitting placidly across from him.  John was smiling knowingly, and Sherlock felt he could hit him just to wipe that look from his face.  

John picked up a small plate from the table beside his chair; it had only seemed to appear at John’s bidding.  He leaned across to Sherlock, offering him what lay upon it.  Ginger snaps, of course.  "Go on then, ” John told his friend, “try one.  What have you got to lose?”  

Sherlock paused, fully realizing what he was being offered.  He reached a wary hand to the plate, taking one of the cookies, bringing it to his mouth for a tentative bite.  To his surprise, it was good.  It was very good.  And not at all what he’d expected…”  

(also)

from chapter two of Happy Christmas, Mr. Holmes (completed 12-2014)

“...He’d been about to climb the stairs, when the door to Mrs. Hudson’s flat swung open, allowing the aromas of good baking to flood the little anteroom that sat outside 221A proper, to reveal Tessa clad in a flour-dusted apron, oven mitts on hands, and holding a baking sheet covered in fresh gingerbread men.  Sherlock couldn’t decide in the moment which was more irresistible—his perennial favorite, gingerbread, or the sight of his Tessa fully attired in the trappings of domesticity.  Fortunately she didn’t make him choose.  “Darling,” she exclaimed, beaming with delight, “your timing couldn’t be better!”  She quickly crossed to his side, stood on tip toes, and kissed his cheek.  “Cookie?” she asked, surely already knowing he couldn’t say no.“This is my last batch for now,” she told him. “Just let me set these on the rack to cool, and I’ll join you upstairs.  Sherlock nodded, nibbling on his gingerbread, before proceeding up the stairs...”

[boozedancing]

During the weekend of February 24, 2017, myself and a fellow beer connoisseur received two press passes from the NYC Brewers Guild to attend the Opening Bash Invitational at the Brooklyn Expo Center which serves as the kick-off to NYC Beer Week. This is The Guild’s Eighth Annual New York City Beer week.

The NYC Brewers Guild is a 501[c]6 non-profit founded to promote NY State made brew…

“The mission of the New York City Brewers Guild is to advocate for and promote awareness of its local brewing members; to increase the visibility of local beers through innovative events, programming, and consumer education; and to foster a healthy, ethical, and growth-focused craft beer industry throughout the city.”

The Opening Bash Invitational started at 6:30 and lasted till about 9:30 p.m. The location was easily accessible and enticing due to the Expo Center’s architecture. While waiting to get in, you were able to see where all the various breweries were located, as well as the games and food.

Participating breweries included: Big Alice Brewing Company, Bridge and Tunnel Brewery, Brooklyn Brewery, Burial, Capt Lawrence Brewing Co, Chelsea Craft Brewing, Civil Society Brewing, Community Beer Works, Coney Island Brewery, Destination Unkown Beer Company, Finback Brewery, Folksbier, Great South Bay, Greenpoint Harbor Brewing, Gun Hill Brewing Company, Harlem Brewing, Hudson Valley Brewery, Indian Ladder, Industrial Arts Brewing Company, Interboro Spirits and Ales, Ithaca Beer Co, J Wakefield, KelSo Beer Company, Kings County Brewers Collective, LIC, Lineup, Magnify, Marz Community, New Carnegie Brewery, Oxbow, Proclamation Ale Company, Rar Brewing, Rockaway Brewing Co, Rushing Duck, Sand City Brewery Co, Staten Island Beer, Sixpoint, Sloop, Sole, Strong Rope Brewery, Suarez, Family Brewery, The Bronx Brewery, The Flagship Brewing Copmany, Threes, Transmitter Brewing and Wartega.

Needless to say, there were quite a few breweries! Here is some information about some of my favorites of the night…

Indian Ladder Farmstead Cidery and Brewery

Indian Ladder Farmstead is “dedicated to the farm to table movement, or in this case–farm to glass”. They recently celebrated their centennial in 2016. The company is run by the fourth generation of the Ten Eyck Family (call me old-fashioned, but I have a lot of respect for family-run businesses, especially in this day and age). This cidery/brewery which originally started as a dairy farm that raised beef cattle is now well known for their fruit, especially their apples which led to their delicious DRY refreshing cider that I adored tasting…

Dry Hard Cider

Made from freshly pressed, gluten-free New York State apples. Available in 4-packs.

ABV: 6.1%

Taste: This isn’t your average cider. It hits the tongue (and nostrils) with a distinguishable fresh aroma of bittersweet apples. Not too bitter and not too sweet, this cider is sure to bring attention to itself with a dry delicious after-taste. I HIGHLY recommend trying it out for yourself.

Super Local Pale Ale

Made in collaboration with Interboro Ales & Spirits using 100% single farm hops & grains from their farm. The hops include Nugget, Brewers Gold, and Cascade, while the grains includes 2-row Synergy and Navarro Oats, both malted at Hudson Valley Malt.

ABV: 6%

Taste: Tangy with a clear bitter finish. Stands out as an IPA with it’s malty smooth mouthfeel.

Coney Island Brewery

I am now a “Boardwalker,” aka a fan of the brewery. This table was a big hit at the event. The historic location of the brewery helped to make this beer well known among the beer crowd. They currently have limited releases of their speciality styles including SuperFreak, Kettle Corn Cream Ale and Cotton Candy Kolsch. Ths brewery definitely brought a sense of surprise and creativity to the table.

Honey New York Stout

ABV: 8%

Taste: Full-bodied smooth sweet molasses flavor with notes of caramel, citrus and honey blended in.

Infectious Smile

A sour ale brewed with malt and hops.

ABV: 4.8%

Taste: Sour grapefruit and vanilla flavors. Made exclusively for NYC Craft Beer Week 2017. The name resembles the beer; once you try it you can’t stop smiling!

Third Rail Brewery

Wins for bringing the most original flavored Stout of the night. Not only were the brewers nice people, but their beer was EXCELLENT. Both my accomplice and I couldn’t get over the smooth delicious original taste it left us with. I’m already looking forward to visiting this brewery in-person.

Alternate Side Stout (Limited – 2016)

ABV: 10.5%

Taste: Full-bodied stout, containing dark malts and flavors of spice, caramel and coffee. The after-taste is filled with spicy peppers, Mexican cinnamon and a smooth smoke. I miss this beer! R.F., my tasting partner said, “I liked it a lot. It was very robust. It was like the inside of a wood burning stove”. I find it interesting that R.F. knew what the inside of a wood-burning stove looked and tasted like. What an interesting Dude!

Brooklyn Brewery

A New York favorite and also among the most popular at the Fest.

Cloaking Device

Limited edition, 100% Brett-Fermented Porter aged 9 months in French Oak red wine barrels.

ABV: 10.5% 

Taste: A surprising air of class at first smell. A mix of earthy aromas, vanilla, pineapple fruit and a smooth finish. This Porter is sure to brings a happy vibe to anybody’s night. Fun fact: this Porter was made with Champagne yeast made in their lab.

Singlecut Brewery

Regarded as the first operating micro-brewery in Queens since Prohibition. Going towards a more “hip” vibe. The owner and music obsessed brewer Rich Buceta states:

My obsession is creating original hop-driven beer; distinguished by a firm respect and admiration for West Coast pioneers, and bending that to our East Coast / NYC interpretation.

Their mission statement: Mastery Knows No Shortcut. Well said!

Weird & Gilly

“Cats from Japan line up for this..”

ABV: 6.6%

Taste: IPA with citrus fruit notes and pine resin which equaled out to a refreshing strong bitter taste. Unique in its own right.

19-33

Singlecut Brewery’s Czech/German Flagship Lager

ABV: 5.4%

Taste: “Classic, Crisp, Horizontal.” Pilsner with light lemon notes and a hint of spice.

Staten Island Beer Company

Another New York favorite. The Brewmaster of this is Jonathan Schulman who started out brewing in his basement at home in Staten Island: “I have that dream that all home brewers dream — of having all their beer.” From hobby-to-passion, Schulman’s “Staten Island Brewery” represents the American Beer Dream. His company proudly produces beer that is both straightforward and flavorful.

For Wheat’s Sake

ABV: 4.9%

Taste: Pour is smooth with a light golden body. Contains American grain, Warrior, Amarillo, and Simcoe hops, but the wheat tends to over pour the beer in a bitter (not so sweet) sense. In conclusion, if you like light bitter wheat-tasting beverages this is the beer for you!

Ithaca Brewery

Won for having the friendliest staff. Their smiles and welcoming demeanor immediately drew me in. I could tell this Brewery was full of passionate people that enjoy the simplicity of good company spent over a pint of beer.

Flower Power

This popular beer is available year round and has a 2-row pale, honey malt containing five hops including Simcoe, Chinook, Citra, Ahtanum, and Centennial. This award winning beer has made it to the National IPA Championship Final Four in 2008, 2010 and 2011.

ABV: 7.5%

Taste: Notes of clover honey, grapefruit and pineapple with a bold soothing full body. If beer was a meal – this could fill you. It’s their most popular and well-known product they have in-stock for a reason. Fun fact: the fermentation process is hopped and dry-hopped five different times when it is being made. Its creation is as unique as the flavors in the beer itself. Definitely the type of beer you sip throughout the night.

Midnight Sun

This beer was named after an episode of the “Twilight Zone” where they reference a painting of one of Ithaca’s waterfalls. Rod Serling, the creator of The Twilight Zone (it’s my favorite television show of all time!), called the episode “The Midnight Sun” that is about the Earth falling out of orbit and two women coping with the increasingly oppressive heat in a nearly abandoned city. If only they had Ithaca’s Midnight Sun beer replenish them!

ABV: 5.5%

Taste: A new dark lager that contains an incredibly smooth finish. Similar to a German hoppy beer with aromas of chocolate, caramel, toffee, coffee and a bit of spice.

BIG aLICE BREWING

They pride themselves on producing small batches of craft beer, each specially made with a creative experimental mindset. They are also a New York State Farm Brewery with each ingredient coming from locally grown farms.

Biggie Smash Beer Barley Wave

ABV: 12%

Taste: Contained a malt complexity with very rich and sharp barley notes. It’s heavy and thick in its finish. The alcohol content is strong, so be sure to take your time sipping this one.

Sweet Potato Farmhouse

ABV: 6.3%

Taste: Very sweet when it hits the tongue. Unique in it’s presentation and ingredients. Soft aroma of sweet potato with no traces of anything else. Good beer if you’re looking to try something different.

Askew Brewing

An all-grain naturally gluten-free brewery. They’re all fans of fermentation at Askew, whether it be pickles, kimchi, kombucha, or beer; the process and products of fermentation are things they feel a strong connection to. Askew Brewing consists of five friends and relatives from the NY/NJ area. Headed by their Brew Master, Travis Mullen, they continue to expand their array of tasty brews as beer drinkers continue to expand their palates…

It’s simple really, we brew what we like to drink. While beer is the passion, the overall vision is much larger. As we continue to pump out delicious concoctions, we are building the plan to move our operation to the Hudson Valley and open our Brewery on a Farm, alongside a CSA and community art-space. We hope our beer will help build and strengthen the community.

Very cool group here!

Fever Dream

ABV: 8.9%

Taste: Their dank and sticky DIPA. Brewed with a balanced malt bill of barley, oats, and wheat and a copious amount of post-boil additions including Mosaic, Citra, and Amarillo hops. The result is both fruity and creamy.

______________________________________

In addition to all of that mouth-wateringly delicious Craft Beer, there was also some food that caught my tongue…

Woodward Extract

At the event we walked by this stand with brownies and various types of extracts. The food at a beer festival tends to be chosen for specific reasons, i.e. it isn’t just any food… its taste compliments what you’re drinking! This particular company had samples of brownies made with their Bird’s Eye Chili Extract. It was very different from the chocolate brownies that I’m used to eating, and as a matter of fact, it was better!

The Bird’s Eye Chili Extract: Handmade in Brooklyn with organic fair trade Thai chilies. It lends a complex flavor and just enough heat to savory dishes, drinks and desserts. This extract flavored brownie largely complimented all the craft beer I was drinking so I HIGHLY recommend that you try it (the recipe is available on their website).

If you’re a meat lover, you are going to LOVE this next one…

Slant Shack: A New Slant on Shacking

Do you like Carne Asada? Or how about Spicy Redrub or Maple Garlic flavored meat? Slant Shack does it right and their story is a good one:

Nine college friends. A crooked roof. A dream. Humanely, sustainably sourced 100% Grass-Fed Beef, organic spices and a proprietary dehydration process. The result? Jerky so tender you’ll think it’s a steak. Order, before we eat it all…

And if they don’t eat it all, I sure will! They also use organic spices and non-GMO, preservative free marinades. Yum. Now onto their tasty jerky…

Carne Asade Jerky: Made with steak jerky seasoned with paprika, cumin, brown sugar and ginger.

Shack Classic Jerky: Ginger, honey, garlic , cumin.

Spicy Redrub: Made with steak jerky seasoned with cayenne, chili pepper, basil, and molasses.

Maple Garlic: Made with steak jerky seasoned with maple syrup, garlic, and red pepper.

Willet Hop & Grain

The event told them to come up with something original to draw a crowd and they kept their promise…

We were talking with Sara Kaplan the freelance event coordinator from the NY Brewers Guild.  Since we did not have any brews to share, she wanted us to think of something cool at our table that was a little out of the ordinary.  Our group got together to figure out what we could do.  Originally we were going to do a slideshow of the farm but after brainstorming this a bit, we thought it would be really cool to showcase our hop varieties and make it into a contest by having people try to identify hops by smelling them. So we lined up five varieties in jars marked only by numbers. We provided variety descriptions and a list of the varieties that were in the jars.

Fun fact: I learned from them that a lot of people in the business know that back in the 1800’s New York State was the largest producer of hops in the US.  Their goal, along with many others, is to help bring this business back to NY.  Great group of people, but then again all beer goers tend to be.

Side note: I was one of the brilliant 6 that won a t-shirt.

______________________________________

Now that you know a bit about what I ate and drank at this super fun kick-off to NYC Beer Week 2017, here’s what My Partner-In-Crime had to say about the event via a brief Q&A:

Q1: What did you do at the event and what was your favorite activity?

RF: I went from table to table trying all the different beers. Though I have to say my favorite activity was the Galaga machine where I had the high score by the time that I left under “DCK”.

Q2: Who are you to me and why did I bring you?

RF: I am a beer connoisseur and expert beer taster.

Q3: If you had to pick a beer to describe me, your girlfriend, what would it be?

RF: “You are “Weird & Gilly” from Singlecut Brewery because you are both sweet and occasionally sour, but always a bit weird.”

Q4: Which Brewery surprised you the most and why?

RF: Third Rail Ale. The beer was just so overwhelming in all of its smokey and woody flavors and more intense than anything I’ve ever tried before.

Q5: Do you prefer fine wine or good beer?

RF: Good beer, 100%!

______________________________________

Many thanks to Holly Garman of HMG Public Relations for the media passes to this fun-filled event!

  .@DanaMarieFarley relives her night at @NYCBrewers 2017 #NYCBeerWeek Opening Bash! @hollygpr During the weekend of February 24, 2017, myself and a fellow beer connoisseur received two press passes from the NYC Brewers Guild to attend the…