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broadwayandnetflix · 4 years ago

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Overprotective, Much? - Bill Hader x Reader

Theme: Fluff + Angst

Warnings: Sexual Terms, Language

Summary: You and Bill have been secretly dating for two years now, only to complicate things one night when you partake in a very risque sketch unbeknownst to him?

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Ahhh Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! This was a request sent in by @berkmansbabe I really hope you enjoy it! And it somehow fits what you were asking for! Have a good rest of your year everyone, hopefully 2021 is better?

It was nearly four in the morning the last time that you checked, and you were almost half asleep over your laptop. Squinting one eye open, you gazed around the room to find a selection of your coworkers staring at you with little smirks.

"You're drooling, Y/N," one voice calls out; it had to be Mulaney's.

"Okay, you didn't have to tell her that!" another one chimes out, Jost?

Furiously you wipe the drool that was currently dangling from your chin and give the two the meanest glare that you could possibly muster.

At four in the morning, Tuesday's were the worst. Okay, well, technically, it's Wednesday now.

Mulaney only smirked before sliding a post-it note your way. You grimace, reading the details of the message scrawled out in what appeared to be Jost's messy script.

P. G. A. D, weekend update, orgasms onstage.

You practically gape at the note in awe; you were a writer, weren't you the one who was supposed to write this shit? Not perform it.

"Um, I'm not complaining, but isn't this more up Kristen's alley?" you protest, trying not to sound whiny.

"She's on vacation this week, and honestly we think you'd be perfect for it." Jost says matter of factly, giving you a small smile.

"Fine," you sigh before flopping back onto the table to get some more sleep. Earning another chuckle from the boys.

It ate at you all week, but I mean, you had the potential. If anyone would understand your feelings, it'd be Hader. His anxiety always got the best of him, and it hurt you to still see the man so stressed and uncomfortable.

Often, you'd be the one to find him after a sketch, rubbing soothing circles into his back. While he stares off rigidly into the curtain, he was fantastic at his job; it just didn't sit well with his anxiety. Although you knew it followed him home, into the late hours of the night, disappointment settling in.

It wasn't public, but the two of you had managed to make things work for the past two years. You had met Bill back when he had first arrived at 30 Rock, as you had gotten hired the same year Mulaney did.

Seth, who was practically your best friend at this point, could tell within an instant that you harbored a small crush for Hader. Often picking at you with little side comments that'd make you stammer and feel your body heat up in embarrassment.

For some time, you didn't even realize that Bill had reciprocated your feelings until he asked you on a date. The two of you curled up back at his place while he showed you some of his favorite movies, it was nice, and the rest was history.

The only problem was, it was safer not letting the rest of the group know about this advancement. God knows what they would do to Bill onstage with sketches...you didn't wanna know.

Alongside the fact that the two of you had quite a bit of an age gap, it wasn't that big, but you knew that Bill often internalized the seven-year gap between the two of you. You were only twenty when you had started at 30 Rock while Bill was twenty-seven. You loved him nonetheless, but you could tell it made him stress a little.

So you both kept it a secret, although you were pretty sure that Meyers and Mulaney knew at this point. While Jost continued to remain oblivious towards your little endeavor.

For this sketch in particular, maybe it was best to keep this one secret as well. Rarely did you ever perform on the show, and you wanted Bill to be proud.

Seth, who had been motivating you all week, motioned you into his office early Thursday morning.

"Okay, just spoke to Lorne about this, we're gonna fit you into one more sketch due to Kristen's absence." you nod apprehensively.

"It's the easiest thing ever, all you have to do is sit there with Franco, and Hader, and read the cue cards about environmental issues. Keenan will cut you off, and you should be good." Seth explains before giving you a quick thumbs-up, causing you to smile slightly.

"God I am so nervous, is that normal?" you admit as Seth sits back into his seat.

"Oh my god yeah, it is not always easy going up onstage like that, but trust me you have the talent and potential. Lorne hired you for a reason, I'm sure if you brought this up to Bill he could give you a few tips on how to release stress." Seth replied as he gave you a warm smile.

You nodded, thanked him for the advice, and began heading back towards the writer's room to help the rest cut the left-over sketches that you all had mulled over during that week. Only to run straight into someone, their hands instantly going out to hold your shoulders steady.

"Oh I'm so sorry I didn't even see where I was going!" you yelp, only to look up and see Bill trying to hold in a laugh. Only causing you to laugh slightly as well at the situation the two of you were in.

"You okay?" he asks sweetly after taking in your somewhat frazzled state; without a second thought, you shook your head and went into his arms.

"I'm just stressed," you murmured into his chest as he quickly reciprocated the hug and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

"About what?" he replied softly, his hold growing just a little bit stronger, that is until the two of you heard nearby footsteps and quickly broke away.

A random production assistant walks past while you and Bill clear your throats awkwardly.

"Uhm, I am actually going on a sketch this week, you're gonna be in the same one actually. It's with Keenan, I just barely ever go on, since I am a writer, you know?" you exhale softly, only to look back up to Bill. Who is nodding furiously in agreement.

"Oh my god, I mean, you know me," he stops to chuckle, "Y/N, I am a literal mess, I mean don't act like I am totally oblivious to you and John changing the cue cards before Stefon sketches." Bill exclaims as you find yourself beginning to smile.

"I mean, it's really cute seeing you break babe," he fake gasps. "I mean you just make it look so easy sometimes even when I know you're stressing out." Bill sighs slightly before meeting your gaze.

"It's not easy, it never is. It's just you learn how to cope over time, if you want I'll meet you at the end of the sketch. Does that sound okay? Just like you always do for me, which I can never thank you enough for." he says, grinning as you slowly nod in agreement.

Giving you a quick peck on the forehead, he explains he has to go back to his costume fittings and that he'll see you later in the night.

He always knew how to help.

You watched anxiously while Seth said the cue that would lead you on stage. Letting yourself take a deep breath, you allowed yourself to block out the situation's overwhelmingness.

Also, was it always this hot up here?

With the cue cards coming into focus, you delved into the script, finding yourself ease into it over time. It was comforting to hear the audience laugh at your delivery, often seeing Seth trying to hold back a grin.

Especially upon the time, you began to describe what made your character Tamara Parks go into orgasms from her specific condition, of Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder.

"With the help of my physician I was able to find treatment, and today I can say that I am fully-" you let out a moan, trying not to break as you look down. Only to continue on the moaning and the appearance of discomfort as the script goes on. Seth progressively tries not to laugh as well.

It almost was shocking that you were pretending to be aroused on live national television. Still, clearly, you were doing something right given the reactions that had been intended.

You began to find yourself grateful for the ability to look down and away from the audience to compose yourself against the fake orgasms you were portraying. Seth's hand leaning to rest upon your shoulder, setting your character's orgasms off even more until the sketch was nearing its finish. The crowd applauded as Seth called you offstage.

You had let out a breath that you didn't even know that you had been holding the minute you had left the stage. Clearly, you had done the job just as Meyers and Mulaney had anticipated, the crowd going wild, it felt nice, but you also felt like you needed a nap. Many of your coworkers had come up to congratulate you, but all you wanted was just to see Bill.

Except, Bill and Fred were going up to another sketch for Weekend Update, you had asked a production assistant for some water as you took a seat in a nearby corner. It wasn't long before you had spotted Mulaney from out of the corner of your eye, within seconds; his eyes met yours, and he rather awkwardly stumbled over.

You had to stifle your laughter at how ridiculous he appeared in that moment, his rather tall figure colliding with the floor as he slid down beside you.

"You did fantastic out there! See, I knew you could do it!" he whispered enthusiastically while nudging you playfully in the side.

The two of you commented on the show's progress and or which sketch that you had written was your favorite. Until your stage manager had motioned for you to go on for your second sketch of the night. John gave you a reassuring smile before giving you a little push off into the side wing you were supposed to enter on.

The sketch was going well, that is until you felt an intense stare out of your peripheral vision coming from Bill, who was sitting beside you. Instead, it felt more dominant and tense than comfortable and safe as his thigh began to press up against yours. You gulped slightly before Keenan made his way over to you, feeling Bill's thigh against yours, almost making you lose control.

The skit's premise was that Keenan's character would never let the guests speak, which was probably a good thing as soon as the cameras went off of you; you had to stifle a moan of your own, a real one.

You were flustered beyond belief, and you couldn't tell why for the life of you that Bill was screwing with you on live television, but he was, and it was working. Of course, you appreciated the man's dominance but now was clearly not the time, except all you could feel was the heat pooling at the pit of your stomach.

While you were slightly annoyed with him, something about that leather jacket he was wearing was really turning you on. Or the way he did all of this was genuine ease like he wasn't putting you in complete arousal right now was so intimidatingly hot.

The crowd's cheering almost caught you off-guard as you realized the sketch was over, and Bill and Franco were getting up to leave the stage. You almost had to steady yourself as your legs felt wobbly and out of place, but you managed to maneuver yourself off the stage with as much grace as you could possibly muster.

It didn't take long for you to feel Bill's hand slip under yours and tug you along to a back room, his taller figure looming over yours with a side of him that you had never seen before. His lips practically hovering over yours as you inhaled deeply and ultimately tried to compose yourself only to stammer your words a little bit.

"Um, heh, what did you do that for?" you murmured quietly so that only he could hear you.

"You really think I would let you get away so quickly with that sketch, I simply had to remind you that you're mine babe, mine." he growled as he leaned down close to your height, whispering the words in your ear.

Your breath hitching at the contact, goosebumps spreading directly across your skin, and your heart skipping a beat. Except, you were in public, for crying out loud; why couldn't he have waited to save this for the bedroom later tonight?

"I-um, Bill did you forget that this is sorta a live show?" you retort back, stepping away from his slight hold. It finally hits you all at once, "Wait, Bill, are you jealous of my sketch with Seth?" you quickly ask, his eyes widening before quickly denying it.

"What? No of course not since when do I get jealous Y/N?" he says defensively, only to see you start to form a small grin.

"Oh my god you totally are!" you practically yelp, his eyes staring daggers at you.

"Hader, quick change happening for Daveheart in four minutes!" Bobby calls as he walks past the two of you unbeknownst to the little debacle going on.

Bill's eyes darting between yours and the dressing room, you sigh and motion for him to go-on for how you would somehow resolve this later. After the door closes behind him, you allow yourself to slide down against the wall once again, trying to compose yourself after everything that had just happened.

It doesn't take long for him to find you, this time in a Scottish get-up, you were assuming, and still painfully as ever, you still couldn't help but think that he looked hot, even with his long brown wig.

He sits down beside you, looking at you with a hesitant look in his eyes.

"Okay, so maybe I am jealous okay?" he admits quietly, completely catching you off guard. "It's just sometimes I wish we didn't have to have this weird age gap, or have to worry about judgement from others or the press. I guess, just seeing you like that today, it just really made me jealous. Proud of course, I mean babe you killed it out there, I didn't even notice that you were anxious. It's just hearing you moan like that, god that was so hot, the things you do to me." he says, no longer making eye contact as he goes into his little tangent.

God, you loved him.

You sigh before wrapping your hands around his, before slowly pushing forward to envelop him in a kiss. He hesitates for a split second before going in at once, his hands reaching up to cup your face deepening the kiss.

It was like a breath of fresh air whenever the two of you had kissed, whether in the late nights after shows and you can see the sunrise. Or in walks home from work, fingers entwined, and quick glances before sneaking a quick kiss, or even just whenever Bill can spare one.

The two of you pull away, only to catch your breath for a second. Bill's wig now tousled, and his eyes staring at you with admiration that you couldn't help but melt under.

"You know Bill, I wouldn't change a thing about us. I love you just the way that you are." you say softly, sneaking in a little kiss before pulling away to finish your statement, a small pout grazing his lips.

"Just maybe not during a live sketch, please?" you giggle softly, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Hey, Y/N, I just wanted to say that you killed it out there-woah, what's going on here?" Seth calls out, startling the two of you; you moving to jump away before Bill quickly stops you.

"We're dating!" you blurt out randomly, "we have been for the past two years, and its time that we probably tell others about it."

You clamp your mouth shut, ignoring Bill's jaw-dropping, and focusing on Seth entirely.

"Oh my god I knew it! Mulaney get your ass over here, we've been right this entire time! Hader and Y/L/N have been boning for two years." Seth yells over to John, who was busy cleaning up the cue cards as the show was coming to an end for the night.

You practically groan, digging your head into Hader's chest in pure embarrassment as Mulaney comes bounding over to cheerfully laugh at your combined misery.

"And to think that Jost said that we were lying about the two of them, guys come on we're gonna go tell Colin!" Seth exclaims, beckoning for the two of you to follow to the writer's room down the hall.

"Might as well join them," Bill whines as he pulls you off the ground and drags you along after them.

#@broadwayandnetflix #bill hader imagine #bill hader x reader #bill hader x you #bill hader #fluff #angst #snl #saturday night live #john mulaney #seth meyers #2020 #request

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om-headcanon · 4 years ago

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Hi!! For the ✨sad✨ headcanons, how would the demon brothers cope with/take care of an MC with BPD? It's a really difficult for some people to take care of due to the crises and intense mood swings we go through. Have a lovely day/evening 💕

hi hi hi! im excited to receive my first request!! ^^ to be quite honest im not //super familiar with bpd so i dont know the depths of it, but i made sure to do some more research before hand and i hope i did well!! (if not just lmk and ill fix anything!) i hope youre having a lovely day/evening as well :D

lucifer:

when he went through your file before you arrived, he saw that you had bpd

he went to barbatos to ask if he knew anything about the disorder, and he gave him a brief synopsis of what bpd was

he wants nothing more than to be a good host and tries his best to understand

lucys too prideful to ask questions to you directly, but that doesnt mean he doesnt care!

he finds as many books as he can about human mental disorders and reads up in his free time

every day he asks you if youre alright with little to no explanation why hes asking

if he happens to catch you during one of your mood swings, he doesnt say much but just stays by your side

if he has work to do he will bring it into the room youre in so he can work by your side

(if he doesnt have work he will literally just sit next to you or climb into your bed with you)

mammon:

hes never been too vocal about how he feels about you, but then once he hears about your fear of abandonment, he constantly reiterates hes never going anywhere

(maybe too much)

all eight of you can be eating dinner and he will just recite an entire monologue about how thankful he is to have you around

and everyone else would agree of course

if the others didnt know about your bpd, they may wonder why he does this

but regardless they all join in and share things they love about you

to say hes clingy is an understatement... but he also wants you to know if you ever feel like hes around too much he will leave you alone

he just really wants to help in any way he can and he never wants to hurt you nor have you think for a second he doesnt love and care about you

leviathan:

the moment he finds out, he takes some time to do research himself

immediately after he realises you prefer to not be alone, he never leaves your side

to be honest, he hates being alone too but he is also pretty anxious when it comes to asking people to hang out with him!

but its different with you!

hes always right beside you when your mood swings cause you to feel extremely low

he doesnt know exactly what to say and he may ask lucy what he would do when someone he cares about is feeling sad

lucifer tells him the best thing you can do is be by their side and levi does exactly that

sometimes he will even go as far as offering to leave the house and get you ice cream just to show he cares

satan:

of course he has read up on this before, but still continues to ask you questions as hes never met anyone with bpd and wants to be as understanding as possible

while he has periods of intense anger, he realises that you also experience mood swings, so he tries to be more aware of his anger

he really doesnt want to counter your anger with his own as he realises that might be counterproductive

he read something online once about how pets can help with bpd

when lucifer said no to getting a cat, he decided that he would take you to a cat cafe!

...every single time youre upset!

if youre allergic he will just pout about it but then make you watch cat videos on the couch while he cuddles with you

asmodeus:

as much as he would love to be around you all the time, he still wants to give you your space

but the moment he hears that a common symptom of bpd is fearing abandonment, he fears that him being away from you made you think he doesnt like being with you

similarly to mammon, he counters this by staying around you more

he does research on his own as well to make sure he understands you to the best he can

but mostly, asmo very much acknowledges the importance of communication

unlike most of his brothers who would be too prideful or embarassed to ask, asmo asks you directly how he can support you the best

if you want the others to know but dont feel like telling them personally, asmo will relay the information!

he acknowledges that up until this point, your life may have been extremely difficult because of your bpd and now all he wants to do is make your life easier

beelzebub:

he honestly doesnt understand at first!

when he sees you have your first mood swing he just assumes youre really hungry

he immediately heads to the kitchen and works to make your favorite food

asmo comes in and explains what bpd is, and explains youre not just acting out due to hunger

beel is kinda upset with himself that he didnt know about this and he wishes he knew so he couldve understood you better

he still brings you the food of course

but then he decides to sit with you as maybe what you need the most at that time is for someone to stay by your side

he offers you hugs but isnt offended if you say no

when youre feeling back to yourself again you try to apologize but he tells you that theres nothing to worry about and hes always here for you

belphegor:

firm believer of ~sleep is the best medicine~

when he notices your first mood swing he suggests that you should just take a nap

once you wake up and he notices youre not that different, he decides to ask some questions

after you say that you have bpd, hes very curious has a lot of questions

hes never met anyone with bpd so he inquires how does it affect your day to day life and what exactly is it?

you tell him a few of the common symptoms like the mood swings, the feelings of emptiness, and the fear of abandonment

he apologizes if anything he has done was insensitive or if he hurt you in any way

he often asks if theres anything he can do to make you feel better whenever you seem even a little different

hes not the best with comforting you with words so on nights youre at your lowest, he invites you to watch the stars with him so that you arent alone

(sorry this took so long i took all day writing this :0 do tell me how i did! if you believe anything was worded poorly or incorrect do let me know! ^^)

#obey me #obey me headcanon #mammon headcanon #levi headcanon #satan headcanon #lucy headcanon #belphie headcanon #asmo headcanon #beel headcanon

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danideservedbetter · 4 years ago

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Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

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www-neverlandsweirdo · 4 years ago

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Sunny And Newt

So i’ve decided to start writing a Newt X Reader series because shut up.Let me know if you’d like to be added to the series taglist. :)

Warnings:This series will talk about eating disorders, depression and sex.

The day was quite bland.It was a bit warmer than usual but nothing unbearable.Everybody was still a bit tired seeing as though it was very early in the day and no one had eaten breakfast yet.

At the time everyone was getting dressed in their normal attire of stained shirts and worn down shoes.The cooks were busy in the kitchen,hurrying to put food on plates and put them on tables.

The menu was the same as every other day,bacon and eggs.Newt pulled on his tank top and hoodie tiredly,walking slowly down the hall of the homestead and down the hall.He was always the first to the kitchen,after the runners of course.

The runners always left before anyone even got to breakfast.He opened the kitchen door,dragging his feet as he took a plate and sat at a table.Time always went by slowly so he wasn’t quite sure when you walked in.

It could have been anywhere between two minutes and twenty minutes.You opened the door as quietly as possible,closing it behind you as you hoped your presence would go unnoticed.You succeeded,Frypan and Gabe not even noticing you had walked in.

Youwalked slowly,carefully placing each foot in front of her before approaching one of the plates of food.Newt watched you,confused from the back of the kitchen.

You took a single piece of bacon,slipping it into the pocket of you hoodie.You looked back over to make sure the cooks didn’t see as you took one more piece of bacon from a separate plate before picking up the original plate.Your hands were covered by your long green sleeves as you tiptoed to a table in the far left corner.

You slowly placed the plate on the table,trying as hard as you could not to make a sound.You then picked up the chair,moving it before carefully putting it down.You then sat in the chair,taking the bacon from your pocket and putting them on your plate.

You let out a small,quiet huff.Newt was still looking at you.You had just stolen bacon and gone unnoticed,that was a job that deserved a medal.Your tired eyes glanced over at his corner before locking on him.

Your eyes went wide for a second.You placed a finger over your lips.He squinted,shaking his head.You rolled your eyes,looking over at the cooks one more time before picking up a piece of bacon and tiptoeing over to his table.

You held the bacon out to him,trying to bribe him into silence.He took it with a small nod,trying not to grin.You then carefully went back to your seat,eating your bacon.By now boys were filling the kitchen,sitting down and taking their plates.

It went as it normally did,Chuck sitting with you while the others chose seats randomly.Alby sat with Newt,The Builders sat together at one table while the medjacks sat with Newt and Alby.

They were all talking but Newt wasn’t listening,still focusing on his interaction with you.He had only talked to you twice at most since you had arrived three weeks before.

He didn’t know much about you,no one did except for Chuck.No one even knew you real name,Chuck just started calling you Sunny one day and it stuck.He had given you that name because of your ‘vibe’ which made Newt wonder if you ever remembered your real name.

you had come up in the box very differently than everyone else,wearing clothes that were probably five times too large for you and socks with rainbows on them.He watched from across the kitchen as you flipped your eggs onto Chucks plate,saying something to him in the process.

you then got up,walking out of the kitchen.No one else noticed,no one watched you leave except for him and Chuck.How was it that you were the only girl and the boys didn’t look at you all the time?Now that he thought about it,you were quite pretty.

Your eyes had a twinkle to them and the way you’d bite your lip and scrunch your nose when you were confused was something he always found adorable.You really were something special.

“I think I’m going to go start my work early,see you guys later.”Newt said quietly,picking up his plate and placing it in the sink.He headed out the door,seeing you make your way to the med hut.

Now he didn’t know what to do.How was he supposed to talk to a girl he’d barely ever spoken too?you turned around,looking over at him.He stiffened,not knowing what to do.you turned back around,continuing to walk until you disappeared into the med hut.He remembered the day three weeks ago when you was found in the box,asleep.

Gally had been the one to carry your unconscious body to the med hut,accidentally dropping you onto a bed.you hadnt waken up for three days.But when you did wake up with Newt and Alby in the room you had just sat up,scratched the back of your head and declared that you really had too pee.

Once you had used the bathroom,Chuck gave you the tour and it was decided that you should sleep in the homestead and not in a sleeping bag or a hammock like the others.It was kind of weird but you ended up sleeping on a bundle of blankets inside of Minho’s closet.

Minho said that you could sleep in the bed with him but you were fine in the closet.Newt sighed as he started to pull out the weeds he had missed the day prior.One was particularly difficult,when he tried to pull it he ended up scratching the entire side of his arm on a rock.

He got the weed out,cursing as he looked at his arm.He had seen plenty of boys get scratches and bruises on purpose,just to be able to have you take care of them.He groaned as he stood up,dropping his small shovel.

He made his way over tot he med shack.He didnt want you to think he was one of those boys that got hurt on purpose.He walked in,seeing you laying on your back on one of the beds as you stared at the ceiling.

Your arms were behind your head.He stood to admire you for a few minutes,you looked so calm.Your head turned to look at him,raising an eyebrow. “DUde,how did you get hurt already?”you laughed quietly.He smiled and shrugged,holding out his arm.you sighed,sitting up.

“Get on the bed.”you spoke quietly as you stood up,getting some bandages and peroxcide as well as a small towel.He sat down on the bed,looking at the floor.you moved the stool over so you sat in front of him. “How the hell did you do that?”you smiled.He laughed quietly,looking away from you.

“You see,there was this rock.And it decided to bloody attack me.”He said softly.you poured some of the peroxcide on the towel,wiping his arm. “DId you get revenge?”you asked.The peroxcide made the scrape bubble,it was kind of nasty.He nodded.

“Yeah,I totally did.”He answered.He became kind of nervous,your face was so close to him.you unrolled the banadges,wrapping up his forearm. “Hey,can I ask you a question?”He asked.you nodded,focusing on the bandages. “DId you ever remember your real name?”He asked.

you sighed,a smirk growing on your face. “You’re named after a lizard and you think the name Sunny is weird?”you smiled as you tucked in the end of the bandages. “So Sunny is your real name?”He asked.

you shook your head,putting the peroxcide and bandages back in their spot. “Nope,Chuck just came up with it.Why?”you asked.He shrugged. “I guess its kind of just unfair that we call you something other than your name….Do you just not like it?Your name,I mean.”He huffed.you shrugged.

“Its just boring.You still have twenty minutes until work actually starts.Do you want to take a nap?”you asked.He shrugged.He had just woken up not to long ago,he didnt need a nap yet. “Id rather talk to you.”He said bravely.you rolled your eyes,sitting back on your stool.

“Okay,but why do you want to talk to me now?”you asked.you had a point,he hadnt ever tried to talk to you before.He didnt know how or why he had a sudden fascination with you. “WHy not?”He asked.Her eyes narrowed and you smiled a bit. “Alright then.What do you want to talk about?”you asked.

He thought about it for a minute. “I dont know.Wanna play 20 questions?”He asked.you nodded. “Um...how tall are you?”He asked.Your entire face heated up and you shook your head. “Come on,you have to play the game.”He laughed.you just shook your head.

“You can ask anything else except my height,Okay?”you asked.He nodded. “Can I ask you a question now?”you asked.He nodded,smiling. “Um...whats the stupidest thing youve ever done?”you asked,resting your elbows on your knees.

He thought about it.In two years he had done a lot of stupid things. “I went into the kitchen at two in the morning to make a sandwhich and Fry caught me.”He answered.you bit on your lip,holding back a laugh.

“What about you?Whats the stupidest thing youve ever done?I mean it cant be that bad,youve only been here for a few weeks.”He said,lying on his stomach and putting his arms under the pillow as he looked up at you.

This bed was a lot more comfortable when you was in there.you smiled awkwardly. “Itriedtosummonpeterpan.”you said quickly,he couldnt even understand you.you talked really fast,like really really fast.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion,looking up at your face.you covered your face with your green sleeves. “You did what?”He asked.you looked up at him,the red of your face contrasting against your eyes. “I tried to summon Peter Pan.”you repeated slowly.He smiled from ear to ear,laughing.

“Well thats one way to get out of here.”He laughed.you scrunched up your nose for a second.Now that he was really close to you he realized that you had one single freckle on the bridge of your nose. “Shut the hell your face.”you grumbled.With a sudden wave of confidence he spoke his next words. “Is that where you came from?”He asked with a smile.Her eyes widened.

“Yep!And thats where youre going too.”you answered sarcastically.He blushed. “Whats your favorite animal?”He asked. “Me.”you answered almost immediately.He squinted.

“Okay,youre my favorite animal then.”He answered.The questions went on for a while before you checked your watch and frowned. “You gotta go to work.”you told him.He sighed,sitting up. “Alright,i’ll talk to you later.”He answered,a wave of sadness going through his body.

“Ok,dont drown.”you said in a serious tone.He looked over at you. “Ok.”Was all he answered before waving from the door as he left.Once you was sure he was gone,you flopped onto the bed and buried your face in the pillow.

you had just talked to Newt for more than 30 seconds.you had just talked to someone for thirty minutes straight.Not only that,but he heard her when you talked.That hardly ever happened.Well damn,now you felt awkward.Maybe it wouldnt be the best to talk to him like that again,you didnt want to catch any feelings.

#newt #newt maze runner #newt tmr #newt x reader #newt x y/n #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomas sangster x reader #thomas x you #the maze runner #the scorch trials #the death cure #The Kill Order #tmr #newt smut #newt fluff #newt series

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the-moon-prince · 4 years ago

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The Last Of us~Kurapika x Reader ~Chapter VIII

AN: Hi my lovely fellows!

I’m sorry for the delay! However this weekend I’ll be posting frequently! I’m working already in the next chapters and a request! Thank you so much for your patience and support! I love you all!

I wish you a pleasant read, and I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter of my story. (Chapter I) (Chapter II) (Chapter III) (Chapter IV ) (Chapter V) (Chapter VI) (Chapter VII) (Chapter IX coming soon!)

Paring: Kurapika Kurta x GN! Reader

Word count: 2 144

TW: None!

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"They can't die."

(Y/n) heard a brittle voice from another room. It was late at night. Not knowing the exact hour. But they were supposed to be slipping a time ago. They could not. They felt especially exhausted and craved sleep. No, they needed to sleep. Normally they would simply hug their stuffed animal or pillow and sleep to the sound of one of their records. But their chest ached loads. And although they had already gotten accustomed to that sensation, that night the IV bothered them. Except that was not what disturbed them the most.

(Y/n) knew that voice. It troubled them to hear the state of distress in which they were. What if something bad happened to them? What if they were in trouble?

Perhaps at that time, it was (Y/n) who was most scared.

They had to go check. They sounded afflicted; As if they were on the verge of crying, or maybe already crying. (Y/n) couldn't just know they weren't okay and remain stationary. Even if the uncertainty was enormous, the fear that loved ones were wrong was greater. It was not correct to do nothing.

They moved the blankets that embraced them and got up. They fixed their pajama bottoms, and, as they took the first step forward, they felt a sting in their right arm.

-"Right..."-they muttered to themselves, to turn to the metal pole holding the serum and medicine. They slowly approached the big white door of their bedroom, opening it doubtfully and carefully. They could see a glow from under the door of the room at the edge of the long corridor. (Y/n) led towards it with feline-like gaits, quiet and attentive. The closer they got, the nervous. They didn't want to get in trouble or disturb, but they didn't want to wait still. What if they needed their help? How could they resist? How could they ignore it? They tightened their grip on the metallic pole, leaning on it. They stared at the poorly closed door for a moment, doubtful. The brittle voice was heard again.

"It's not fear, they're only 4, it's not fear."- Even more troubled that time.

Which prompted them to sneak through the door. They opened the door wider and carefully slinked their head in to observe. The room was large, the garden could be seen from the glass door of the balcony and the large window next to the bed. An older, rather large, and stocky man dressed in pajamas and a thick sweater sat in a single chair in front of a television. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He was covering his face to hide his tears and try to deafen his sobs. A woman, equally older, in a disordered aspect and a pajama nightgown was at his side, hugging him and rubbing his back to calm him. The woman had a frown and a depressed glower on her face, cheeks also stained in tears.

"They won't, they can't. I'm praying, I have faith, no god can be that cruel with such a lovely child."-her kind and crumbled voice told, with a fusion of comfort and conviction in those words with a touch of fear and doubt as well.

If they were crying like this, it was because something serious had happened.

"Papi, why are you crying?"- the kid muttered, clutching to the tip of their clear pajama shirt. They were scared. They had never seen their grandfather cry before, less so desperately. They felt that they were trembling and twitching their toes. Even with their serious expression, his eyes were saturated with concern.

"(Y/n)..."-The man raised his head to see them. A tear leaking from his dilated reddish eyes.

They advanced slowly and vacillating, but its presence had already been announced, and could not, as much as they wanted to, plainly leave.

"Nothing... why are you awake?"-The man rubbed his eyes and quickly wiped his face.

(Y/n) was clutching and rubbing their clothes with both hands now. They looked away for a moment, slightly swaying side to side in uncertainty.

"Were you sad because I'm sick?"-they hinted, as they looked the old man in the eye. Which was not extremely frequent. Ignoring the question.

The man looked back at them, softening their gaze.-"Why-why are you saying that?"- he blinked a few times to disperse the tears and worry.

They looked away once more, rubbing the textile of their shirt in between their fingers.

"Because... if you were sick... I'll cry too."-the kid mumbled, but quickly looked back at the man in front of them with a soft smile.-"But don't be sad! Because I'm fine now. Since the doctors let me come home, it means I'm healthier now!"- The man stared at them as not knowing that he could answer.

"Sugar, why are you still awake?"- the old lady asked this time. Leading towards them.

"I... eeh... woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."-they promised, looking down.-"Are you mad?"

"No! Of course not, but it's still late. Let's go to bed, fine?"-The older woman took their hand and the metal pole and proceeded to accompany them back to their bedroom. Her hold was secure as if they were going to vanish at any given moment as if he were going to transform into sea foam and never see them again. She did not stop holding their hand until (Y/n) tuck back into bed. The woman arranged the beddings and stared at them for a moment. (Y/n) wouldn't forget that regard easily. The stares their grandmother gave her were usually happy and sweet, like when you receive your favorite candy. This time, it was charged with despair, like that of a helpless animal once cornered.

"Mami... don't be sad. I'm getting better! So don't worry, I'll be fine! Okay?"-They declared with a smile. They were a touch fearful, but they preferred to know that their grandparents were fine. Of everything that was occurring to them at that time, seeing them desperate was the most damaging.

"I know you will be (Y/n), I'm sure of it."- the elder gave her best effort to smile and gently petted their hair.

At no poinT (Y/n) did believe that she was lying to them. Except, deep down, they knew they still needed comfort. They inclined forward, sat down, and hugged her. It was the best they could do at the moment. Most adults, who knew them superficially, though they were cold and formal children. Most adults, who knew them superficially, thought they were a cold child. It was not true, not at all. They did have certain emotional problems. Although, their grandparents knew how sweet they truly were. They may not be clingy in public or hug everyone, that was true. Simply once that person felt comfortable adequately, they would talk to you all day and follow you everywhere, like a puppy follows its owner. They were calm but loved with intensity and passion. The single problem was that only a few had that privilege.

The woman hugged them back, easing into the contact. She was not alone, and they were still with her.-"Goodnight (Y/n)."

For those who were once inhabitants of that house, it had been a difficult night. The couple continued to feel bad. The man commonly knew how to act wisely, thanks to his years of experience. Just he felt inexpert that time.

(Y/n) was sitting on a soft sofa, reading one of the many books they had in the library. They adored those books and would read as many as possible. There were all kinds: from fantastic fairy tales, to their personal history, to academic studies that they half understood. They were a little too small for the chair, and their legs dangled. Something characteristic of them from an early age was that they were more attentive than they might seem. In addition to high sensitivity to auditory stimuli. It was not strange they overheard a conversation.

"It's outrageous, mum! Their only child is sick, and neither of them shows up to even get notice!"- it was his voice.-"I'm not sure what to do. The other doctors said it was better if he had a few last quiet moments at home ... It's cruel, mum... very cruel."

They put the book on a small table next to the sofa and moved to the counter that was at the entrance, where the phone was.

"Papi, who are you talking to?"-They asked one they were right behind the man. Another thing about them was that they were imps. They liked to play, but they did not do things out of evil.

The sir jumped in surprise. The kid was good at sneaking around; you could tell they were a cat.

"You scared me, I'm on the phone with your Grand-mami."- the elder turned around to them to reply, moving the phone a bit away from his face.

Oh! That sweet old wolf!

"Grand-mami?! Let me talk to them!"- They raised their hands, happily rocking from side to side. The man brought the phone closer to his face and spoke.

"They want to greet you, I'll pass them to you."-And he passed the device to the child in front of him. They crawled up to the long chair beside them to be at a good height and not stretch the strings too much.

A slightly raspy voice, but no less kind and diligent for that, spoke from the other line-"(Y/n), love! How are you?"

"Grand-mami! I'm much better, thank you! Do you know? I'm pretty sure I'll be as good as new for the Solstitium! And I want a dress just like yours for the celebration, because you look so pretty in it! You always embroider the best flowers."-they sang with plenty of enthusiasm and joy.

"So you want a dress this year?"-the voice asked them.

"Yes! Cute dresses are for everyone!"-they stated-"Plus, I plan to dance with ribbons along with the rest! You will see that this year, I will endure all the dance and be Spring's Monark! Also, tell Julian I say hi, please."

"It's good to hear you're happy. Anything else, sugar?"-The sweet voice chuckled a bit with the kid's excitement and hopes.

-After a moment of reflection, they added-"Yes! I want us to eat Frangipane!"

"(Y/n)! Here you are!"-A voice naming them drew their attention. Pulling them out of their daydreaming.

They adored that voice and the person it came from. It had been so long since just hearing a voice made them so joyful.

"Kurapika, do you need something?"- they drawled with their soft smile.

"I know this is your recess, but Neon is looking for you with a tantrum."-he alleged with a sigh.

Outside of the fatigue that Neon's childishness sometimes caused him, he was a tad troubled. (Y/n) was spending their rest alone on a bench in the immense gardens of the Mansion Nostrade. He had been looking for them throughout the interior of the house for some time. And when he found them, they resembled so immersed in their dreams he couldn't avoid worrying a little for his lover's wellbeing.

"Are you all right?"-Kurapika inquired.

"Yes, yes! I was just remembering something!"-they assured with a smile and tilting their head. They got up and headed back inside the mansion.

"Kurapika."- they called him after some seconds.

"Yes?"- he questioned, glancing at them.

"Would you wish to accompany me tonight? It's a... special date for me."-inviting him at their house was not unusual, except that desiring to share with him some variety of particular holiday had something very personal and loving on it.

Kurapika felt special and privileged to receive that offer.-"It would be lovely. I will gladly be with you."-his voice was soft and had a warm smile on his face.

(Y/n)'s face lit up with pure joy and bubbled-"Fantastic! I will do my best to make it pleasant!"- he sensed a hint of nervousness. They probably were unsure if he would like the celebration.

"I'm sure it will be."-he encouraged.

Their shoulders lessened and sheepishly added-"Would you like to stay overnight along with that?"

"I'll willingly stay."- it was a grace for him to be so loved. He was able to see a warmhearted intimate side of someone like (Y/n) and receive so much appreciation and love.

#kurapika kurta x reader #kurapika x reader #hxh scenarios #hxh x reader #hxh #kurapika hxh #kurapika kurta #hunter x hunter #kurapika #kurapika imagine

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garciaswebhistory · 4 years ago

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Crushed; Reader x Spencer

warnings: mentions of torture, rape, possible death

summary: the one time you take off a case and your boyfriend goes, he ends up as a hostage inside of a violent, religious cult

based around S4, E3 timeline “Minimal Loss”

Vacation time. An unknown concept of a job for an FBI agent, especially a BAU member. Every day, the air was sick with energy and adrenaline as the constant cases flooded in.

Of course, as you looked down at your wrapped up foot that had been itching like crazy for the past five and a half weeks, you realized how boring vacation was. Especially when your boyfriend had gone back to work, even though he hadn’t wanted to.

But his job needed him and his brain more than you needed him to give you a massage every five minutes and follow you around like a lost puppy.

Always a conference call, neighborhood serial killer, an issue with the public media, or the occasional terrorist kept everyone on their toes, and it was addicting. How or why would anyone ever want to leave?

Sure, seeing a dead body at least twice a month, or the occasional fear of being taken as a hostage was always there. The fact that your life was more at risk than others, or that it was more common to get shot than not on the daily?

Again, good reasons. But that was what kept you coming back day after day.

You were 25, having joined the BAU three years ago, and like the adrenaline junkie you were with a thing for men in uniform, you fit right in. Not to mention your team that was more of a family then your biological relatives, and your wonderful boyfriend and now fiancé Spencer Reid.

He was 30, with a baby face, sharp jawline, and curly brown hair. He was a doll baby, sweet and sensitive but could take down someone if he had to. You two were just perfect for each other, and it was obvious to everyone who saw you two in the same room.

You gravitate towards one another, smiling, winking playfully, giggling, and playing footsies. You two were like small children with one another… best friends and the love of each other’s lives.

Just two nights ago, he had proposed to you after 15 months, 2 weeks, and four days of being together (you knew this thanks to your lover boy computer), so you had given him the obvious answer.

Some would have said that you were moving too fast, but that was just the life of a federal agent who put their lives on the battlefield for the sake of others on a regular occasion. Never once had you questioned him being your soulmate, and you never would.

After him being kidnapped and shot multiple times, and you being raped and tortured horribly on separate occasions, life just was too precious for you to beat around the bush. Plus, even

Rossi said that he knew what a failed relationship looked like, and that failed relationships didn’t cook with one another, draw faces on each other while sleeping, or put their lives at risk for one another.

Again… soulmates. :)

Maybe that was why you had been so happy when you had taken a pregnancy test just minutes ago and had now found it positive. You ran to the couch, trying your best to ease your broken foot that was so close to healing.

Grabbing your phone, you opened it to dial your boyfriend’s number when the tv in front of you caught your attention. You always kept the News on when Spencer was gone, fearing you’d miss something. Plus the missing people reports and traffic jams in your city were no news to you.

“Here I am, right outside of an underground facility in La Plata County, Colorado that is said to be hospitalizing a cult. Among the cult are women, children, and three child services agents held hostage who went in earlier to do a wellness check. Federal units are doing their best to get everyone out safely but so far the progress has been minimal. I will have more on this story as we continue this.”

You stopped cold, remembering JJ give the evaluation of the case to everyone just hours before you had to say goodbye to the team. It was a call from a teen girl about underage marriages and Cyrus, the cult leader, taking advantage of his young, female followers. The cult was on a ranch, and was its own society basically.

You had wanted to go, but had been told to stay home by everyone on the team. Spencer had wanted to stay with you, but he was a valuable part of the plan. He was to go with Pretniss and a real child services agent to disguise themselves and not cause any panic. But now… He was a hostage.

You dialed Garcia’s phone, knowing that she would be the one most likely to have their phone and not be preoccupied, although that was already a long stretch. Fortunately though, you remembered that you were Garcia’s third favorite person after her boyfriend and Morgan.

“Thank you for calling Fairy Godmother and Gizmos, your fairy godmother speaking.” She chimed in, sounding stressed but like she was trying to put on a brave face. “Hey, it’s Y/n. I’m sorry to call like this but I need to know what’s going on.”

You could head typing on her keyboard before she cleared her throat. “Alrighty, here’s what we know but it’s not much. Reid and Prentiss went in with another agent to check out the call and then there was a raid we weren’t aware of. Right now, they don’t have any reason to hurt any of them. I- What? Oh god, oh god.”

You suddenly became terrified, screaming into the cell phone as your eyes laid glued onto the tv screen. “Garcia? What? What is it?” You asked as you heard her heavy breathing on the other side. “Hotch gave me access to their radio so I can listen in, and… they just… Oh my god.” You hated the pause, wanting to both hug and kill her in that moment.

“One of the agents got hit in the raid, but they’re not saying which one. Hold on, I’ll forward you to Hotch.” You heard her clicking her keyboard even more. “Oh and Y/n? Whenever you get in touch with our boyfriend, tell him I’m going to kill him if he doesn’t come back in one piece.”

“Not if I do it first.” You heard Garcia chuckle at your response, but you didn’t feel like smiling even though she was trying hard. Spencer was in danger. You stayed on the phone until you heard Rossi’s deep tone.

“Hello? Agent Rossi.” He picked up on Hotch’s phone, and for a second you thought Hotch was in trouble too. “Rossi! I… I need you to tell me what’s going on. The news isn’t giving me anything and I… I don’t know what to do. I knew I should have come.” You began crying, letting the hormones control you.

“Hey, listen to me. Reid needs you strong. We all do. Reid is in there, but we have no reason to think he’s been injured.” He tried to explain, but it didn’t help the tears streaming down your face. “What about Cyrus? He said one of them got hit.” You heard a sigh from Rossi and began crying even more.

“Yes, the agent Pretniss and Reid went in with died. But it wasn’t the cult’s doing. I don’t think they’re going to hurt him.” Rossi tried to make you feel better, and he did, but it only gave you more questions.

“What do they want with them?” You asked as Rossi sighed. You could tell he was just at a loss like you were. “If we get the women, children and our agents out, Cyrus knows that we will have no reason to hold back. He has to keep them alive or else he’s as good as dead.”

“Just… bring him home Rossi. All of you better be at the agency tomorrow at 7 on the dot. Please. I’ll call you back if I hear something happens.” You began to hang up before you heard Rossi chuckle lightly. “Yes mam.”

You sighed in relief as you grabbed a pillow and hugged it against your body, squeezing it tightly. All the times you had taken Spencer for granted, telling him to go to work and not waste his time with you.

Now, all you wanted was to be in his arms. You wanted to comb through his hair with your fingers and give him a massage for once. Did he know how much you loved him? Did he know how obsessed you were with him? How you would trade places with him right now without a second thought.

God, you should have gone. Fuck your bad foot, you could stand there and watch. You could watch a building from a safe distance like all of them were doing. You could even go in, and maybe they would take it easy on you and not suspect anything if they saw you were injured.

Anything was better than having your one and only in a building of armed, mentally disordered people with secrets and something to die for. You gripped the pillow tighter, and began silently crying again. You just wanted him there. Was that too much to ask?

Finally, the News updated. “Live from the source. After speaking with the federal agents, it is known that one of the two alive hostages right now is an FBI agent. I am looking right now at the ranch, which is circled with SWAT vehicles. We can only hope that this won’t be the bloody battle it’s leading up to.”

You froze, dropping the remote and watching the back of it snap off, sending the two batteries rolling across the floor in opposite directions. Your immediate reaction was the call Rossi, and with your hand shaking, that’s exactly what you did.

“We saw Y/n, we saw. I don’t know how they knew that but it’s… it’s not good.” Rossi confessed. losing your attention for a minute. “H- Is he going to die? Are they going to kill him? Rossi answer me!” You yelled into the phone, hearing muffled yelling but no answer.

“I’ve got to go Y/n. I’m sorry. I’ll call you back when any of us can talk.” And he hung up on you, leaving you feeling empty and alone on the couch that you had once sat on with Spencer, in the apartment you both paid for. You glanced at your stomach and sighed, putting your hand on it.

It looked normal now, but in just weeks it would become obvious. When would you take off work? When would you tell the team? Who would be the godfather and mother? When would you tell Spencer? Would you ever even be able to tell Spencer?

No. You slapped your hand. You can’t think like that. You have to be strong. For Spencer. For yourself. For everyone.

You held your legs to your chest and put your phone down, staring at the tv and then at your phone. Please give me an update. Please give me something.

Hours passed, and although the News did hourly updates, the only change was that it was now nighttime. Finally, you picked up your phone and dialed JJ, knowing she’d be updated on everything and possibly free.

“Y/n? How are you holding up?” She asked, and you again were reminded why JJ was the BAU’s voice to the public. Her soft voice could almost convince you that your boyfriend and team’s life wasn’t at risk.

“Nobody is answering my calls and I’m so scared JJ. I… Just tell me straight. Please.” You explained as you heard her sigh on the other end. “Reid and Pretniss were questioned and Pretniss confessed that she was the FBI agent. She got beat up pretty bad.”

You felt relieved, but also guilty for feeling such. Poor Emily had confessed to save your boyfriend from a painful fate, and you would remember to give her a nice gift if and when she came back.

“They gave us almost half of their people, and we don’t know why. Right now, we think they’re going to commit mass suicide. There’s no evidence that they’re going to hurt Reid. Just… Just relax.” JJ tried to comfort you, but you still felt uneasy.

“I just… I…” You stared at the tv as they were doing another hourly update. It looked like nothing had changed. That was, until a large light hit your tv. You put on your glasses with regret of taking your contacts out, and then stared at the tv screen in horror.

A large explosion replaced where the church had sat, and it took a moment to register that the explosion had been the mass suicide JJ had just told you about. “Oh my god!!” You screamed, dropping your phone as you raised your hands to your mouth.

“Y/n? Y/n? Answer me!” You heard the phone click as JJ hung up, but you didn’t care. You stared at the tv, and couldn’t help but feel your heart drop. Spencer was inside. Pretniss was inside. JJ would have told you if either of them had come out. He would have called you surely.

“N-No.” You stuttered, unable to grasp the concept that he was gone. He was hurt. He was… dead. No… You were about to cry out, but your phone began buzzing, snapping you out of it.

You grasped it slowly and brought it to your ear with your shaking hand. “Hello?” You spoke, feeling your voice quiver from the sobs threatening to come out. “Y/n? It’s Hotch.” You nodded, realizing the let down when you realized it wasn’t Reid, but your boss.

“Everyone is okay. I just called to tell you that.” You froze, just holding the phone without noticing the man on the other line trying to get your attention. “What time are you getting to the airport?” You asked, already getting your shoes on.

“Six thirty, why?” Hotch asked, but you had already hung up. You fixed your hair, put in your contacts, and grabbed the keys, ready to go.

The car ride to the airport was long, but the wait inside the building was even longer. Every minute felt like an hour, and every brown-haired man in the building looked like Spencer from afar. You just needed to see him. You wanted to see him.

You would have called him or texted him, but you now knew he was on a plane, and you just had to wait.

Finally, though, six-thirty came, and you prayed that Hotch would stick to his word like every other time. You waited at the gate, and after checking it three times in five minutes, you knew you just had to play the waiting game of misery. Around you, airport security and employees gave you pitiful glances as you paced, sniffled, and tried to hold yourself together.

Slowly though, you began to sink into your seat and drift off into a light sleep, only to be awakened by your boyfriend. “Hey Baby.” You murmured before closing your eyes again.

Wait.

“Oh my God, Spencer!” You jumped up and wrapped your arms around him, dangling like the shorty you were. “I… Oh my… I hate you so much.” Spencer laughed lightly, feeling your grip around him tightly. “I… I thought you died. I thought… I’d never see you again.” You began crying, finally letting all your emotions resurface. You felt his grip on you tighten as he lowered you back to your feet.

“You were inside and then I saw the bomb and I-” The tears kept you from talking as you buried your face into his chest. “I hate you so much.” You whispered, holding onto his shirt tightly. “Don’t ever leave me again. We need you here.” You looked up at him as he stared at you with confusion. “We?”

You patted your stomach and grinned slyly. “I-I’m pregnant.” You confessed, watching his eyes light up with happiness and surprise. “Y-You’re kidding. That’s… Oh my god!” He looked overjoyed, lifting you up by the waist and twirling you around.

“I’m going to be a Dad!” He shouted, the few other people around the terminal giving applause. “Oh my gosh, there’s so much to do. So much to buy. So many people to tell. I have to read all those parenting books!” Spencer began to pace around before you brought him back to reality with a hug. “Just kiss me to start.”

#spencer x oc #spencer x y/n #spencer x reader #spencer x you #reader x spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #criminal minds #minimal loss #criminal minds x reader #x reader

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kerikaaria · 4 years ago

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If I Never Met You: Chapter 20

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

DISCLAIMER: Since this fic is very similar to real life BTS I think I should probably say this. While the member in this chapter has admitted to struggling with eating disorders during his time as a celebrity, I DO NOT claim to understand what goes on in his head or how he personally feels, nor do I intend to make light of the situation. I hope the way I wrote this chapter makes it obvious that I treat these issues very seriously.

Genre: (PG13) fluff, angst

WC: 4.6k

Warnings: Mentions and discussions of eating disorders and body dysmorphia. I did my best to turn it positive, but if these things bother you it may be better to skip this chapter.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21

A/N - If you are having a difficult time, whether it be about the issues discussed in this chapter or other emotional distress and you are finding it difficult to cope with on your own, please don't be afraid to seek help. Either through friends/family or professional help - it is not shameful. Mental health is just as important as physical health, so please everyone take care of yourselves.

I stood in the hallway outside of the dance studio with Sejin and a few other staff, including one who was holding a camera. The boys were practicing, but we had a surprise planned for one member in particular. We lit the candles after one of the boys turned off the lights in the room, signaling for us to enter.

We entered the room singing happy birthday and I turned the lights back on to see Jimin smiling and clapping along to everyone’s singing. After he blew out the candles, Sejin handed him the bags full of fried chicken that we bought for all of them to enjoy and take a break from their hard practice. Jimin started to look like he was getting emotional so the others teased him, playfully hitting him and telling him to cry.

“It’s kind of expected that we prepare a secret camera, isn’t it?” Suga said to the Bangtan Bomb camera while Tae hugged Jimin from behind.

“How could I have not realized it was a secret camera?” Jimin asked as the woman holding the cake handed it to Jimin for him to hold. “The cake is pretty!” he said with a smile.

Even though he looked perfect anyway, Jimin got embarrassed in front of the Bangtan Bomb camera because his face was bare. I rolled my eyes when he started covering his face with one hand while balancing the cake with the other while thanking us for the cake and the surprise.

Jin took notice of Jimin hiding behind his hand. “You don’t have confidence in your bare face?” he asked. Meanwhile, Tae was focused on removing the candles from the cake.

“No, I don’t. I’m shy, but really thankful!” he addressed the camera.

As soon as he finished talking, Jungkook took some of the icing with his finger to smear on Jimin’s face. Jin, Hobi, and Tae quickly followed suit, laughing while Jimin deadpanned at everyone for giving him the unwanted facial. Although, Tae was the one doing most of it, nearly covering half of his friend’s face on his own. Even Joon came over and added to the masterpiece.

Soon enough, Jimin got back at Taehyung, swiping a long trail of icing down the side of his face and neck just before all the boys came together for us to take some pictures. Seeing them joke and play around like this was one of my favorite things. Even if the moments didn’t last long, they were much needed and well deserved in between all the practicing and schedules.

The staff filming for the Bangtan Bomb continued to film when they opened up the fried chicken to finally dig in. Everyone except for Jungkook sat on the floor around the food. For some reason, Jungkook thought he needed to lose weight, so he didn’t want to eat the fried food.

After the camera was shut off and the other staff were leaving, Jin asked me and Sejin, “Are you going to eat with us?” Sejin said he had something to do before saying bye and leaving the room.

“No, I don’t think so. We’ll let you guys hang out and relax.” I offered them a smile before turning to walk away. To tell the truth, I wanted to stay – partially because Korean fried chicken was just so good, and also of course because I love to hang out with my boys. But I have honestly been getting worried that I hang around them too much and didn’t want to overstay my welcome.

“Are you busy, noona?” Jimin asked.

“Not really,” I responded. “Why?”

He got up and shuffled over to me, pulling on my arm to bring me back towards them. “Then why not stay? This is for my birthday, and I want you to stay with us,” he said with a pout. “If you want to, of course.”

I smiled. “Of course I would like to, Jimin-ah.”

“Then please?” He said as he gently pushed on my shoulders to urge me to sit and Hoseok moved over to make room for me.

I laughed. “Okay, I guess I’ll hang out for a little bit then.” I sat down next to Hobi while Jimin reclaimed his spot to my left.

“We haven’t gotten to see you that much outside of work the past few weeks,” Namjoon said in between taking bites out of a wing.

“Yeah, sorry,” I said, grabbing the piece that Jimin offered me. I smiled at him as a silent thank you. “I’ve either had other stuff to do for work or was trying to spend some time to myself. You know I love you guys, but sometimes I like my alone time.” That wasn’t a complete lie. Even if I did start to prefer spending more time with them rather than being alone, I still needed to have some time just for myself. Who didn’t?

But I definitely wasn’t going to tell them that I was also becoming scared of being too clingy.

“That’s understandable,” Jin said. “But it’s still nice to spend time with you, especially moments like this.”

We continued to chat while finishing up the chicken. Between seven people and how delicious it was, it was done in no time. I noticed that Jimin only grabbed two or three pieces, spending the time to just nibble on them, but I figured he may have just not been particularly hungry so I didn’t think too much about it and set the observation aside.

After we finished, I volunteered to clean everything up and stuck around for just a little bit longer. Right now they were mostly learning and practicing the performance for one of the end of the year awards shows, which would be starting next month. They were up for Best New Artist awards at a few shows, and would be performing at some of them as well. It was a small performance, but we were excited to be able to have the opportunity nonetheless.

I stayed only for a little bit before heading home. While walking home, I suddenly realized that Jimin’s was the first birthday that was celebrated after I had started working at Big Hit and all seven of those wonderful boys walked into my life. I couldn’t believe that it had already been a year since then. Time had just been flying by, it seemed. I guessed that was what happened when you were so busy you practically eat, breathe and sleep your work.

I’d been living in South Korea for more than a year, and it had been that long since I saw my family. I missed them sorely, but I was also very happy with the life I was making for myself here too. I was even paying my own rent now, after swearing up and down to Bang PD that I wouldn’t be scraping by if I did, telling him if he really could afford to keep spending the money that went toward my rent it should go to the boys for some extra pocket money.

It was already pretty late when I heard shuffling footsteps make their way to the apartment across the hall from mine, and I opened my door to offer a greeting to the boys and make sure they were doing okay.

“Hey, noona,” Namjoon said, holding back a yawn.

“Hey,” I responded. “You guys are getting back late. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Hoseok responded.

I nodded and was about to retreat back into my house before I realized something. There weren’t seven people standing in the hallway. “Wait. Where’s Jimin?” I asked.

“He said he wanted to practice a little longer,” Tae said, frowning.

“Ah okay,” I responded, nodding slowly. “Well, get some rest guys. You need it.” I smiled before they waved and said good night, entering their home.

I quickly changed out of my pajamas, thinking to grab some leftover food I had in my fridge before putting on a jacket and leaving the apartment. I started walking quickly toward the company building. I normally didn’t like to be out at this time by myself if I could help it, even if these streets were significantly safer than what I was used to, but I felt like I had to check on Jimin.

I carefully approached the room to the dance studio, its light spilling into the dark hallway. I peered through the window, and sure enough Jimin was in there, dancing really hard. I almost never saw him get as exhausted as he looked right now, with beads of sweat sticking to his skin and making his hair wet. I frowned at the sight, worried for my friend.

When Jimin finished his dance, he collapsed on the floor, spreading his legs out and holding his upper body up with his hands on either side of him. He then pulled his legs close to his chest, resting his elbows on his knees and pressed his palms onto his face. I carefully opened the door and slowly walked in.

He didn’t seem to notice my presence when he said, “Gotta keep going. Not good enough yet.”

I waited another moment before deciding to alert him to my existence. “Jimin-ah, you look so tired.”

He quickly turned around in shock, eyeing me closely. “Noona, when did you get here?” he asked, still pretty breathless from his dance workout.

“Just a minute ago,” I said as I walked over and sat in front of him. He lowered his knees into a cross-legged position. “They told me you decided to stay to practice more, and I was worried that you might be hungry. I noticed you didn’t eat much of the chicken earlier.”

He smiled slightly. “I’m fine, noona. No need to worry about me.”

I looked closely at his face, his smile not convincing me. “You looked like you were working yourself way too hard, Jimin. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” He held my gaze and even though I could see there was something there he wouldn’t tell me, I decided not to press any further.

I sighed. “Well, you should at least eat something. I brought some food with me.” I pulled the container out of my bag.

“Okay, I’ll have a little bit,” Jimin said, knowing I was going to be stubborn about this and not let him say no.

“And we should really get back to the dorm afterward too. You looked like you could barely stand up.”

“Okay, okay,” he said as he took the chopsticks I offered him. “Manager-nim knows best.” He lightly chuckled.

“I’m not being your manager right now Jimin,” I said, sliding on the floor to move next to him and resting my head on his shoulder. “I’m being your friend.”

He ate about half of the food I brought with me. Although I was hoping he’d eat the whole thing, I decided to take it as a win. After that, he gathered his things so we could walk home together.

In the hallway outside our apartments, I gave him a hug. “Good night. And don’t forget to take care of yourself. We don’t want our precious Jimin to get hurt.”

He squeezed me a bit tighter, replying “I will. Don’t worry about me.”

Even though I still didn’t spend all my free time with the boys, I started to pay close attention to Jimin whenever I was with them. Something about that day made me feel worried for him. I saw certain mannerisms that were scarily similar to something I was all too familiar with.

I didn’t make a habit of addressing it when I saw something unusual because I didn’t want to push him away, but I started taking mental notes. How he would deny eating food when everyone sat down to eat, or at the very least he’d nibble on a few pieces to make it look like he was eating a full meal when he didn’t. When he’d stay late after practice to either keep going or just exercise, even if he exercised earlier that day too. And his members weren’t blind, I know they saw it too. But approaching someone about these kinds of things wasn’t easy to do.

On a day when the boys got to relax a bit at home, I decided to stop by to chill, having spent a good amount of time by myself recently and was feeling a tad lonely. Jimin was sitting in the living room, browsing through the internet on his phone and I sat next to him. I pulled out my own phone, but glanced at what Jimin was looking at before getting lost in my own device. He didn’t notice me looking as I watched him read comments.

But not just regular comments. Hate comments.

He somehow found a coal mine of comments all about his body and figure. People who were saying that Jimin was only good for his abs. I even saw one or two comments turning the nickname of Mochi some Armys had given him because of his cute cheeks into an insult, saying it meant he was fat. He must have been reading a blog created by antis to find such concentrated hate comments.

I diverted my attention before he realized I was looking at what he was doing. As much as I wanted to tear the phone out of his hands and yell at him for paying attention to people who don’t know what they’re talking about, I thought better of it. These things needed to be handled delicately. No wonder he’d been acting so unhealthy lately.

Then later that same week, we were all at the company. The boys were working on choreography, either for their upcoming performance or for their next comeback and I was in my office, figuring out their schedules for a few weeks from now. I was concentrating on figuring out how to untangle some conflicts when my phone started ringing.

Checking the caller ID, I saw it was Jungkook. That kid rarely used his phone to actually contact people, so it shocked me for a moment. “Hello?” I answered.

“Noona!” I could hear the urgency in his voice. “Jimin hyung’s passed out!”

“What?!” I yelled into the phone, abruptly standing up. “Where are you?”

“In the dance studio,” he responded, his breathing very unsteady. “We were in the middle of the choreography when he just fainted. Noona, what do we do?”

“Is he breathing? Is he hurt anywhere?” I asked.

“Yes he’s breathing, that was the first thing Namjoon hyung checked. And I don’t think he’s hurt. There’s no bleeding or anything like that.”

“Okay, good.” I looked through my purse for the snack bar I always kept just in case I got hungry in between meals before hurrying out of my office. “Don’t worry too much. Just make sure that he’s in a position that should make it easy for him to breath. He’ll probably wake up any minute and he’ll be okay. I’m on my way.”

We hung up the call and less than a minute later I walked through the door to the studio. They all looked up at me, concern in their eyes.

“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance?” Taehyung asked. He looked on the verge of tears.

“As long as he wakes up shortly, there shouldn’t be a need for that,” I said. I was remaining calm on the outside because the last thing any of them needed was for me to be freaking out. While I was pretty sure what had caused this, that didn’t mean it made me any less concerned for him. It was still something that needed to be taken care of.

“What if something’s really wrong, though?” Hoseok asked.

“He’s still been exercising and practicing way longer and not eating as much as he used to right?” I asked, looking at Namjoon who sat right next to Jimin. He slowly nodded in response. “Then I’m sure any of us can guess what happened.”

“What do we do?” Namjoon asked. “We’ve tried telling him to stop overworking himself and to eat more but he won’t listen to us.”

I sighed. “These things aren’t as easy to deal with as just telling someone they’re doing wrong. He can feel how his body is reacting to it, he knows what he’s doing isn’t good. But that’s not going to stop him unless he decides on his own that he really wants to.”

I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down next to Jimin on the floor. Some of my concern relaxed when I saw his chest rising and falling with my own eyes. “When he wakes up, don’t jostle or move him. He’s probably going to feel dizzy and take a moment to readjust to what’s going on around him. So keep calm, too. We don’t want to freak him out.”

“You sound like you know from experience,” Jin commented.

“I do,” was all I said.

Just a moment later, Jimin’s eyes slowly opened.

“Jimin-ah,” Namjoon gently said. “Jimin, can you hear me?”

It took him a second, but Jimin grumbled a response. Then he quickly sat up, probably shocked and trying to remember what happened. I grabbed his arms to keep him steady. “Wait, what happened?” he asked.

“You fainted,” Yoongi almost whispered and Jimin slowly nodded in response.

I took the snack bar out of my jacket pocket and tore the package open before holding it out for Jimin. “Eat this, Jimin,” I said.

He shook his head and went to push it away, but I grabbed his wrist, placed it in his palm, and wrapped his fingers around it.

“I’m not asking, Jimin,” I said sternly. “I’m telling you, you need to eat it. And drink some water, too.”

Both Jimin and Joon looked at me in surprise at my tone, as I was sure the others were as well. Even when we were working and I was really in “manager mode” with them, I made it an effort to not be authoritative or assertive with them. I was sure they didn’t expect me to talk like this to someone who was obviously sick at the moment.

Jimin nodded and took a small bite of the bar, knowing now was not the time to argue with me.

“How are you feeling?” I ask after he took a couple of bites, my voice back to my normal tone.

“I’m feeling okay,” he quietly responded. “I’ll probably be good to get back to practicing in a little bit.”

“No, you’re not practicing anymore today,” I said. “You need to rest.”

“I’m pretty sure I just did,” Jimin chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. I heard a sigh somewhere in the room.

“Do you know how worried we are about you?” Seokjin asked. “You’re not taking care of yourself, and now it’s so bad that your body can’t even handle it.”

“You can’t keep doing this,” Taehyung said, clasping one of Jimin’s hands in his own. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“I am taking care of myself,” Jimin said. “I need to stay in shape, need to stay thin. I weigh too much, and I can’t keep looking like this in front of Army.”

I stood up and turned around, running my hand through my hair. “Those people online who are judging your looks are not Army, Jimin,” I said. “And their opinions are absolutely worthless.”

“It’s not just those comments, noona,” Jimin said. “I see it when I look in the mirror, too.”

I felt tears stinging at my eyes. If that was how he thought, then it was definitely worse than I imagined. “Jimin.” I turned back around and knelt down to look him in the face. “Your weight is considered healthy. Any doctor would tell you that.”

“And doing what you’ve been doing isn’t going to do anything but make you less healthy,” Hobi added.

“You really need to stop, hyung,” Jungkook said. “We’re all so worried about you.”

“But I need to lose weight so my cheeks aren’t chubby anymore,” Jimin said.

“Fans love your cheeks, Jimin,” Tae said. “They call you Mochi because of them, don’t they?”

“I don’t like that nickname,” he quickly responded. “It means I’m fat.”

“You’re not fat because you still have those cheeks,” I said. “First, you’re 18 years old, you’re still growing into your face. And also, you’re perfect the way you are.”

Jimin sighed. I knew this was hard for him. He already trained his mind to think one way, so while he listened and wanted to believe what we were saying he already had his mind made up.

“How can we get you to start taking better care of yourself, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi asked.

“You can’t force him,” I answered for him when he didn’t respond. “It’s up to him and his own willpower to believe our words and take them to heart. But it’s not easy to do. It’s not easy at all.” I took Jimin’s hand that wasn’t still occupied by Tae’s and squeezed it. “It was a bad idea to ask you to show your abs in the debut songs. Maybe if we didn’t tell you to do that, things may not have gotten this bad for you.”

We were all silent for a moment before I decided I needed to tell him. I steeled myself before letting go of Jimin’s hand to pull out my phone. I scrolled through my photo gallery to find what I was looking for, finding the perfect picture and clicking on it before turning my phone around for Jimin to see.

“What is this, noona?” he asked.

“It’s a picture of me,” I said. “From a few years ago.”

The others looked over his shoulder, trying to take a look as well. I saw them trying to hide their shocked reactions as they looked back and forth between the past me and present me.

“I never had high self-esteem, and as I continued to gain weight, it definitely kept getting worse,” I said. “That picture was when I was about the highest I ever weighed. I wanted to be thinner, but finding the motivation to lose weight was incredibly difficult. Negative thoughts feed into more negative thoughts, and when your brain has made a habit of trailing down that thought path it’s painfully hard to make it turn the other way around. To make it switch to the path of wanting to make a positive change instead of just hating yourself.”

Jimin handed my phone back to me, listening intently. “Before doing it properly, I first started trying to make changes in a very destructive way. I lacked motivation in general, especially to exercise and be active. So finding the lack of motivation to eat wasn’t hard to manage. I felt like I was torturing myself. I already had issues with blood sugar so when I would eat almost nothing for days or weeks, I found myself very weak and it started to become less uncommon for me to faint.”

Jungkook sat beside me and wrapped his arms around me as they listened to my story. “That’s why I made you eat once you came to. I had a feeling your blood sugar was low from the lack of nutrition and it was important for you to eat something so your body could stabilize a bit. And that’s why it hurts me so, so much to see you like this, Jimin. I know that our concerns are probably not going to make you change, and you’re definitely not going to be able to suddenly flip a switch and go back to before you felt the way you do now. But we’re all here for you, and we all want you to be better. So please, Jimin, trust us and lean on us, okay? We’ll support you through this until we remind you of how amazing you are.”

I saw tears in Jimin’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m worrying you all. I don’t mean to. I just don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m doing what I have to, and I don’t know if I can make myself stop.”

“I know,” I said as I placed my hand on his cheek and wiped away a tear.

“So, what can we do?” Jin asked, looking at me.

“Be there for him,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on Jimin’s. “Try to get him to eat at every meal. Try to get him to take it easy when he’s overworking himself. Don’t push too hard, but don’t give up on him. And hopefully, our Jiminie will eventually remember how wonderful and perfect he is.”

“Okay,” Namjoon said. “We’re here for you, Jimin. We always are.” He draped his arm around his younger brother’s shoulders and gave him a light squeeze.

“I love you, my friend,” Tae said, wrapping himself around Jimin in a hug, forcing him to fall to the floor from the force of it.

“Yah, you didn’t need to knock me over,” Jimin said, laughing.

Jungkook left my side to join the other two on the floor. “I’m not missing out on this,” he said as he wrapped himself around both of them to make a little cuddle pile.

I smiled at the touching scene, happy the mood in the room was becoming a little lighter. It hurt me that Jimin was going through this, but he had six wonderful brothers to help him, and that was the important thing. Having a support system, having people who will be the voice of reason for you when you couldn’t, that was one of the best things for someone to have during times like these.

Hobi came to sit next to me. “Thank you, noona,” he said. “But are you okay?”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I said as I lay my head on his shoulder.

“You stopped starving yourself, right?” he asked, and I nodded. “How did you get yourself to stop?”

I hummed while thinking of a response. “I don’t know, I just realized one day that what I was doing was wrong and I had to stop. As far as I could tell, there wasn’t really a magic fix or anything in particular that made me stop. But once I did, I managed to get the motivation to be healthy, not just with food but also with exercise. And now I’m a lot happier with myself. But Jimin’s different. He’s not actually overweight, he is making himself believe he is.”

“Yeah, that’s what worries me,” Hoseok replied. “Thank you for telling us your story, noona. That was brave of you. And I think all of us are seeing what Jimin is going through a little differently now because of it.”

“I have faith that he’ll be able to turn it around. We’ll just have to wait to see when that’ll be.”

The maknaes were now standing, no longer in a pile on the floor. And to everyone’s surprise, Yoongi walked right up to Jimin and pulled him into his arms. He didn’t say anything, but we knew exactly what he was trying to tell him. Jimin wrapped his arms around his hyung’s waist before the rest of them added themselves into the hug one by one and made one big group hug.

I stayed back but Jin, who was the closest one to me after they all piled in, reached out to grab my arm and pull me into the ball of love as well. “What were you doing just standing there, (Y/n)? You need this too.”

I relaxed into the embraces, feeling their warmth. It may end up being a long journey for Jimin, but at least it wouldn’t be a lonely one.

“I love you all,” Jimin said from the middle of the pile. “So much.”

A/N - I feel this is important to say: Jimin disliking the Mochi nickname is actually a true fact. After the “Papa Mochi/Baby Mochi” thing I’m not sure if it’s helped him like the nickname better or not, but I’d rather be safe. As I portrayed here, while it started as endearing, antis picked it up as a way to call him fat and body shame him, so he really doesn't like the nickname :( Please be respectful of our lovely Jimin and not use this name. We have so many other sweet nicknames to call him that he can appreciate!

And, as I said last chapter, think twice before spreading hate or posting hate comments. It's so easy to forget when we're behind our screens that the person on the other side is a real person just like you, and words can hurt much more than you think. Even our lovely, handsome Jimin is insecure about his looks because of thoughtless people telling him he needs to change, and the amount of pain it's caused him over the years isn't acceptable or excusable. Like BTS does, we should be doing our best to spread love and not hate.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope @misohime @netflix-batman-sleep @smallbaby-cat @leitholdwithlove @ramyagovindraj @leesalts @rjsmochii

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged! And also feel free to leave comments or send asks to just talk to me!

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years ago

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Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago?

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler.

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs.

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #406

“turned on all the lights, the tv, and the radio / still, i can’t escape the ghost of you”

Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you have any rare medical conditions? I believe AvPD is considered to be a rare mental disorder. Do you have to carry an epi pen? No. What color is your mailbox? I think it's black. I don't pay attention. Would you ever want a job working with animals? I'd love to. The thing is, without a degree in something, my duties working with animals would almost certainly involve cleaning up after them, which I am WAY too squeamish with fecal matter and vomit to do. It's extremely embarrassing, but I've never even been able to clean up after my own pets if they ever had an accident or got sick. I obviously couldn't do it with random animals. Did you have a good high school experience? It's... so odd, retrospecting on high school. In some ways, it was the best time of my life because of my memories with my friends and especially Jason, but at the time, I absolutely loathed it and was horribly depressed. But at least I saw a future for myself. I took better care of myself, all that stuff... That Brittany would be fucking mortified to get a glimpse at who she becomes. Have you ever watched any Monty Python movies? Which one is your favourite? I know I've seen some of at least one. Would you ever get a "below the belt" piercing? Nah. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No...? Like don't get me wrong at all, I am firmly against cheating under any circumstance, but for there to be legal retribution seems extreme. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My future. Are there any hallucinogenic drugs you’d like to try? Nah man. What made you choose your current job? I'm unemployed. Do you feel uncomfortable on the dance floor? Or are you confident with you dancing abilities? Oh hunny, you won't see me on the dance floor. Unless MAYBE if the Cha-Cha Slide comes on, or the Cupid Shuffle. That's as skilled as I get, haha. Is it exciting to you to imagine having an affair with a teacher? ... No??????????? It's fucking creepy. Adultery isn't exciting. Do you like your smile? No. I absolutely look high when I smile. What is something silly that you believed to be true when you were a child? That I could invoke the traits of any animal, which I just referred to as my "animal powers." Like for example, if I "called upon" a kangaroo, I could jump higher. I was a weird fucking kid. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you completely connected with on a mental/emotional level, but did not find physically attractive in any way? Was physical intimacy a problem? How did it work out? I was never really physically attracted to Girt, but it was never a big deal to me. I cared way more about his personality and how much he cared about me. We were never really "intimate," per se, we just would give each other a simple peck. It didn't work out, but not at all because of physical things. He was just too much of a brother to me. What classic or cult movie have you never seen and have no desire to? Hm. I know there's some, but I'm blanking. Does The Human Centipede count here? Like everyone knows about it, so I would assume it does. I have ZERO desire to see a second of that repulsive movie. Have you ever taken a real liking to a band/singer you never ever....ever thought you'd enjoy? Maybe Melanie Martinez? Her voice is so cutesy, as are some of her songs, but I really enjoy how dark her lyrics can be. People who know me would probably be shocked to hear I thoroughly like her. After seeing the movie Avatar did you suddenly view our Earth as ugly and/or boring? If you have not seen the movie, do you think it’s worth your time? I've seen a little bit of it, but I never finished it because I was very tired and chose to go to sleep. I actually do want to see the full thing, though; it looks very good. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? My parents are truly incredible with helping me the best they are capable of. They helped me pay for school, among other things, but I doubt they'd help with my first home, whenever that is. I wouldn't really want them to, either, because that's my responsibility for sure. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? I love video games, and horror is absolutely my favorite genre. I also love fantasy games though with deep stories. I've never been the best at playing super long games, like Final Fantasy games, even if I'm seriously invested in the story, though. I burn out. Have you ever sewn a garment? No. Are there any plants in the room you’re in? No. I don't bother with plants. What’s your highest level of education? Some college. What’s the most important thing in any kind of relationship? Proper communication, probably. If you wear lipstick, what’s your favourite colour to wear? I only really put on lipstick to occasionally take a picture, and it's pretty much always black. Is your style feminine, masculine or somewhere in the middle? Somewhere in the middle, I guess? Are there a lot of dragonflies around your house? I've never seen one around this house, and I doubt I ever will because it's too urban. When we lived in the woods, however, I saw them a lot. Of all the Disney couples, which one would you say is your favorite? Kovu and Kiara came to my mind first. Do you think it is cute/funny or disgraceful when a child swears? It's shocking, more than anything. You don't expect it. I don't believe it should be encouraged, but only because children just don't know when swearing really isn't appropriate. If/when you have a baby, how do you think you would want to decorate its room? I don't want kids, but I'll entertain the question and assume this is before the child is born and develops interests. Whether it's a boy or a girl, I'd probably go with a cutesy animal theme. Would you more likely buy a shirt with a picture of Mickey/Minnie Mouse, a Winnie the Pooh character, Snoopy, Hello Kitty, or Tweety Bird on it? None, honestly. Perhaps like, a gothic Hello Kitty. Of all the states you have been to, which one did you have the best experiences? Putting aside the AWFUL heat and humidity, I probably had the best time in Florida. I loved all the palm trees, seeing so many lizards on my grandma's patio, and going to Disney World was a blast. I liked that swimming pools were always warm, too. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was madly in love with him, so no regrets on that. If your boyfriend ever hit you, would you dump him? HA, BYYYYEEEEEEEEE MOTHERFUCKER. ZERO hesitation. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? He did, but I honestly don't know if he meant it. Is there anything you want to say to someone? It'll probably go unsaid for the rest of my life. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Yikes, hard pass. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Noooo thank you. Did you wake up in the middle of the night? I always do. Does your animal sleep with you? My cat does. Venus obviously sleeps in her terrarium, but she is in my room. Last color you dyed your hair? Red. Will you keep your last name when you get married? Very unlikely. I don't like my last name. What are you looking forward to? Hearing back again from the woman whose wedding I shot literally two years ago. I thought she ghosted me, but she messaged me the other day about seeing the pictures again and going through them to actually buy some. I don't know why the hell it took her two years, but whatever, I guess? I spent two whole hours resizing the files and re-adding the preview watermark (I deleted the OneDrive folder for space forever ago, but I have the files still), so I hate to sound like an ass, but she better buy something. Between sweating my ass off on location when I shot the wedding, editing those 100+ pictures two years ago, and now re-doing the previews, I have invested so much goddamn time into them that yeah, I think I have the right to be pretty damn salty if I don't hear back from her again. If your significant other cut sex out of your relationship for any reason, what would you do? It'd be whatever. I mean sure, that sort of intimacy is a very special part of serious romantic relationships to me, but I can live without it pretty easily. What was the last thing you said out loud? "Thank you for dinner" to my mom. She brought home Hardee's. Who are your godparents? I don't believe I have any. Do you like Gushers? omggggg yes Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? Nope. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? Uhhhh what was it... The Shining, I think? I didn't really develop a favorite. Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. Lisa. <3 She's one of my WoW friends. She'll talk your ear off, but I don't really mind. She is SO sweet and caring for other people and loves to cook. She recently had triplets, and seeing as she had a son only months before accidentally getting pregnant with the triplets, she's obviously been MEGA busy so we haven't talked much lately. When you’re being kissed do you like it when they hold your face? Yeah, but not too early on. Doing that has a promise of seriousness and passion in it to me, and it would probably weird me out if that happened too soon. Last thing that made you cry? My health. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. I don't think it would look good on me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have a place to sit when I want to, yeah. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Only sometimes. It's definitely not as bad as your average Southerner, though. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Ha, what nice timing. I think they're very pretty, but I believe I went over in a recent survey how I don't encourage their usage in consideration of veterans with PTSD as well as being conscious of animals and the absolute terror it can cause for them. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? So my sister is a children's social worker, and she shares a LOT of stories with Mom (and me, if I'm present) that I can't listen to. The ones that involve pedophilia and/or rape, especially from the child's very own parent(s), I just cannot listen to. Period. It's so fucking repulsive and just unimaginable to me how even a monster of a human can commit something THAT goddamn vile. What’s your opinion of root beer? I'm not a big fan. I mean I can tolerate drinking some of it, but I don't really *enjoy* it. Have you ever seen The Breakfast Club, and what’s your opinion of it? I have, and I didn't get the appeal at all. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Oh god, I did. Those things are so creepy. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien, most likely.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the ordinary world'' by the hit house

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cinnamoonsworld · 4 years ago

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A Harsh Meal [Fatgum x chubby fem!reader]

Hi everyone! Before continuing the Aizawa's ff, I wanted to give myself a short story about another pro hero I love so much, Fatgum. What is written comes from my personal experiences and from people I know very well, and I hope everyone in life will find a person like Fatgum in their life <3

Happy reading, see you next week for the new chapters of "Two Worlds Collide"!

You can also find me on Ao3!

Words: 2,666

Trigger Warnings: eating disorders, eventual smut

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You and Taishiro have been together for several years. You met during an attack by a villain who had begun to destroy everything that happened to him without any reason, and you were among the civilians that Fatgum had saved. Unlike all the other people, Fatgum was impressed with your smile when you thanked him for protecting you and all the other people.

For days he had dreamed of your smile and your (Y/E/C) eyes, until he saw you one night while he was on patrol and you were lowering the shutter of a store. He took note of the place and its location, and the next morning he showed up inside your little bakery. He was almost breathless to see you in your work uniform, which included a pastel apron and a dress with a wide 50s skirt.

From that day on, Taishiro began to come into the shop every day and you began to become, as time went on, more and more intimate. Sometimes he would come there with two shoulders of his own, Tamaki and Kirishima, and he would never fail to list the whole menu by heart and say how good everything was. You started to make sweets just for him, inspired by his character.

One day he did not come to see you. Initially you did not worry, thinking that he would pass later in the day. When you closed, you went to his agency to ask if anything happened to Fatgum. His secretary informed you that he had been hospitalized following a raid that he and other heroes had carried out that morning.

You got the name of the hospital, and you went straight to the bakery to make her favorite cupcakes, the Oreo's one. You were upset that Taishiro was in a hospital bed alone, without you beside him to lift his spirits.

You rushed to the hospital with a box full of cupcakes. You went to a nurse and showed her the tide of candy you were carrying, and she took you to her room. They were all desperate, because it was from the moment he arrived that all he did was asking for food and that he never stopped being hungry.

"At least, if he asks to eat, it means he’s fine!" You thought feeling a little more relieved.

The nurse let you in the room, and on the bed there was a thin, tall, blond boy who was watching TV and laughing.

You looked at him in a daze, thinking the nurse had taken you to the wrong room.

As Taishiro saw you, his face lit up and he jumped out of bed to hug you. Your doubts passed when you saw him smile: even if he was thinner, that was Fatgum. He almost cried when you showed him the box of cupcakes at the Oreo, and made you promise that at least a couple of them would be saved for Suneater and Red Riot, who were also there.

You went to see him every day with something different to eat, and the nurses were extremely grateful because he was literally draining their kitchen supplies. The longer the days went by, the more he was returning to his giant teddy bear form with which you had known him.

On the last day of recovery, you noticed he was extremely agitated. You were afraid he wasn’t feeling well, and you were going to call the nurse when he came between you and the door and kissed you. It was a long, sweet and exciting kiss. Detaching himself, he looked into your eyes with an expression of pure panic. He was afraid you’d laugh at him or, worse still, that he’d disgust you with his gesture. Instead, surprisingly, you embroider that kiss without hesitation.

From that moment on, you and Taishiro started dating first and then, noticing that it worked and you were both taken by each other, you decided to officially get together. At least three years passed before they decided to move in together. You were both very happy, you were looking forward to cooking for your boyfriend and he was looking forward to coming home to eat what you had prepared for him and to spend time with you. You filled him with food and attention, while he did everything to see you always happy.

Everything was going great until you started having problems with your body. By now you knew that Taishiro, when he used too much strength, dried up and became a sweet and very high muscular boy. He hated being like that, couldn’t work and felt very vulnerable. Needless to say, in that form, it attracted the attention of many girls who were flirting with him shamelessly. It also happened while you were together somewhere, and many times you had heard these girls tell Taishiro to let you lose, because an Adonis like him did not make a good impression to be seen around with "someone like you".

You had never been thin, and you knew it very well. For you your body had never been a problem, and you always liked it the way you are. Taishiro, then, saw you as the representation of a Goddess descended to earth, he found you perfect in everything and everything. He always pointed it out to you, even when you were making love. You were perfect in everything and for everything to him, and he never failed to let you know even with small gestures. Whatever you was wearing, from a tracksuit to a fancy dress, you made him lose his mind.

You began to spend more and more time in front of the mirror, touching your belly or your thighs and finding more and more imperfections. It started out as a few minutes a day until it became an hour or more, and on the worst days you stared in the mirror until you cried because you felt ugly and shapeless. Fat, cellulite or stretch marks: you hated yourself, and you couldn’t find something of yourself that would change your mind.

Even Taishiro had noticed that something was wrong, and he began to notice it when, gradually, you started to eat less and less.

One of the things that made Taishiro one of the happiest men on earth was to share food with you, and he was alarmed to see that you were offering him your leftovers from dinner even though you had eaten only three mouthfuls of what was on the plate.

You started to wear clothes that were getting wider and wider so you could hide your shapes. You were convinced that when you left the house, everyone looked at you and commented on your body. You could feel people’s judgmental looks on you, even though they weren’t even looking at you. When you and Taishiro were out, you were always trying to get as little food as possible. You didn’t want people to judge you for what was on your plate.

Since you started eating less and less, you were always getting tired and in a bad mood. You stopped talking to Taishiro about what was going on at work or what was going on in your head, and sometimes you felt so weak that you didn’t even have the strength to cook. For Taishiro there was no problem, he was more than happy to take away to spend more time with you, but you barely ate something and went to sleep with the excuse that at work had been a hard day and that you wanted to rest.

Finally, you began to think of the worst thing: that Taishiro was only with you because you prepared food for him and that in reality he only felt disgust for you. This little thought slowly began to creep into your head until it became a recurring judgment. You started to really meditate that you were only convenient for food, and you were sure he would run off with a girl much prettier and thinner than you as soon as he had the chance.

Even at work these thoughts did not leave you, and the situation worsened when, a few buildings from your bakery, opened a gym. Every day, in front of the windows, it was a parade of women, young and not, in brilliant physical form and with nothing out of place. They were so happy, so skinny...everything you weren’t, and they’d rub it in your face every single day.

You also stopped eating, and drank only water. Taishiro was increasingly alarmed, you were turning into something that wasn’t you. You started fighting more and more about the food issue, he wanted you to eat but you told him that you were fine and that you had already eaten something at work and so there was no need to stress about these things. He just wanted to help you whatever was going on with you, but you had built a wall between you two.

You didn’t want him to touch you anymore, you thought he was ashamed to go around with you, with a "shapeless being". He deserved a better person, a girl much prettier than you, and that made him look better when they called him to the charity nights.

You were so short of energy, you had trouble getting out of bed. One day, in particular, it seemed to you that even breathing was an inhuman effort. You went to the store early like every morning to start baking. As usual, your mood was under your shoes, and the fight you had the night before with Taishiro certainly didn’t help. The walk you took from your apartment seemed like a mountain hike, even though it was only two blocks away.

You had time to turn on the lab lights that you collapsed suddenly.

Around lunchtime, Taishiro became seriously concerned. Even if you fought a lot, when he wrote to you, you always answered, even if in a cold tone. You didn’t even see the messages that morning, and you didn’t post anything on any social media.

Driven by anxiety, in the early afternoon he went to your shop where he found the half-shutters lowered. When he tried to call you, he clearly heard your phone ring go off, but no one answered. He was getting more and more agitated.

Luckily, when you moved in together, you gave Fatgum a copy of the keys to your club and the lab door in case of need. The lab door was looking at a dead end, and he came in through it.

He had a heart attack when he found you lying on the ground and very pale. He immediately called an ambulance and they rushed you to the hospital. Taishiro was in the waiting room waiting for some news of yours. He was so agitated that he had not touched food and the feeling of hunger, for the first time in his life, had disappeared.

After several hours, finally, they called him inside to talk to the doctor who was taking care of you, and the diagnosis shocked the hero: malnutrition. You were passed out because you hadn’t eaten anything for who knows how long, and in your stomach they had found no trace of food, only water. You pushed your body so far, you couldn’t take it anymore.

The doctor took Taishiro to your room, and his heart stopped again to see you attached to all those tubes so that you could ingest some nutrient so that your body would not collapse again. He sat down next to you, fondling your hand lovingly. He didn’t understand how all this could have happened, and he was afraid of losing you forever.

He fell asleep next to you, and woke up in the middle of the night when he felt a familiar sensation of a kiss on his forehead. He immediately opened his eyes and almost wept with joy at seeing you awake.

"Cupcake..." He whispered with clear eyes. "You don’t know how happy I am to see you awake..."

"Tai..." you answered with a nervous stomach. "I’m sorry...I didn’t want it to end this way..."

"What happened to you, my love?" asked the blond.

You could barely hold back your tears after that question.

"I hate myself." You finally answered without being able to hold back the crying. "I hate myself Taishiro. I’m horrible, I’m fat. Anything about me disgusts me, and I don’t know how you can be with a freak like me. Those girls are right, Tai. You deserve someone better than me, not someone who makes you look bad."

While you were sobbing, Fatgum was really sad and angry at what you thought of yourself. Of all the things he thought about your behavior change, he never imagined it would be something that would make you suffer so much that you would go so far as to refuse food. He didn’t think even remotely that some girls' comments could hurt you so deeply, and he felt terrible that he had always downplayed it and had always just not listened to them. But not you, you listened to them all too well.

"My sweet cupcake." Tai said, wiping tears from your eyes. "Do you remember the first time I kissed you? I felt terribly stupid. I was afraid you’d turn me down because of my looks. I know perfectly well that I am not perfect, and that when I am in my low-form I am very ashamed...and yet you accepted me as I am. You never let me weigh my physical form, both thin and fat..."

"You’re such a wonderful person that I never cared about your body, my teddy bear." You spoke with a slight smile trying to stop crying.

"And the same goes for you, too, (Y/N)." Fatgum said with a kiss on your forehead. "I love you for who you are and for what you give me every day, your little gestures and how you make me feel happy every day. And I don’t care if you’re skinny or fat, I would love you in all forms of this world."

You felt very relieved to hear those words, and at that moment you realized how much unnecessary harm you had done just because your head was telling you. You embraced each other in silence, a silence full of love and meaning.

In the days of your hospitalization, Taishiro came to see you every day and had literally camped in the hospital. When he had a free moment he would come to spend with you and every night, after having left work, he would rush into your hospital room because it was the part of the day that made him exalt like a child in front of a toy store: Having dinner with you while you told each other what happened to you during the day. You started eating again and God, how you missed the taste of food and talk to Tai. You almost forgot about this feeling of happiness, and you almost cried with joy when you ate together. He wouldn’t even go home to sleep, he’d sit next to you in a chair and watch TV together until you fell asleep on each other’s shoulder.

The day you were discharged, when you returned home, all the colleagues from Fatgum’s agency were waiting for you. They too were very concerned about you, and seeing you smiling and strong again made them very happy. They filled you with flowers and gifts, and when the party was over, when everybody left, you and Tai made love, and you didn’t care if the neighborhood heard you or not. You finally came back, and you had to celebrate. He kissed you from head to toe, to show how much love and veneration he felt for every inch of your being, whispering sweet words to you until, exhausted, you fell asleep hugging each other.

It was nice to be back.

#fatgum x reader #fatgum x you #toyomitsu x reader #toyomistu taishirou x reader #my hero academia fanfiction #boku no hero academia fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #fatgum #toyomitsu taishiro #taishiro toyomitsu #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha

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btxtreads · 4 years ago

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ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji @qtsoobin @beomberry @txtdiaries and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

��✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: -

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

#tags #tagging #tagged yet again #sadjkjksdajad #what a mess #im so basic wtf

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years ago

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death bed (coffee for your head) (Peter Parker's iPod, Part 8.)

Description: Blip was hard. Dating MJ was a pleasure in Parker’s life, so it was even harder when she told him that things aren’t working as she anticipated - one month before college. Although they remained friends. But Peter isn’t too sure if he can handle liking yet another girl.

Part Summary: The line between Peter being Peter and Peter being your Speedy Gonzales starts to get more thin and blurry for Peter when he’s around you. And with that a realization starts to come up in his head - shouldn’t he just told you? Because that situation was getting f-up with each passing minute.

A/N: Actually, this the most suiting song for Peter I’ve heard so far. I can just imagine him sitting on the rooftop, dressed as Peter as he looks down and takes photos of romantic sunsets and nature.

Word count: 2.8 K

Tagging: @fanboyswhereare-you, @lukesbabylon, @eridanuswave

Master list: H E R E

Just as Peter closed the window to his room quietly, not waking May up, the rain behind started pouring down and one of the big spring thunders came by. But the boy didn't care about the bolts of lightenings hitting the city beside him - he was slowly sliding down the wall as he smiled dreamily with his eyes closed. Peter kissed you. And you kissed him back. That was a stretch to say... But it happened like that in general.

As promised, he called Ned once he put the suit back to its box. When he heard as the phone called Ned's number, Peter laid down on his bed, looking into the ceiling, starting his computer to watch a movie. Pete already knew that with the taste and feel your lips on his mind, he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. And boy oh boy, Ned could tell something happened between you two as he heard Peter's first long, dreamy sigh.

"Tell me everything because you'd tell me anyway. Did she do the sushi as thought she would?" - Ned asked excitedly. It was clear that Ned's still sick, but this was a once in a lifetime occasion. No matter how much about to die Ned felt, he refused to go to sleep before Peter tells him everything.

"And sandwiches. She prepared the two things she cooks the best and I think she was trying to impress the other guy." - Peter told him in response and really, there was nothing for Ned to deny. Y/N's sandwiches were one of the best in the whole Queens. You always told the party that you prepared every piece of food you only with love - you put your heart on the plate. No wonder that you tried to impress even Spider-Man with these two everyone's all-time favorites.

"How did the whole thing even went? You sound like if it went good and I'm all ears." - Ned encouraged Peter, which was the moment that brought him back to reality a bit. It felt as if he had a split personality disorder - one of them kissed you and the other one was just told: "No, I don't want to date you". Well, you didn't explicitly said that you didn't want to have anything with Peter, but you said that you don't exactly think that he's a relationship option for you.

"Well, to say it how it is, she told me that... I think she doesn't feel the same way about Peter." - Peter said honestly, putting his hand on his chest while he waited for Netflix to launch on his old notebook. Ned hummed understandingly.

"And you left right after, is that right? There's possibly nothing else you could do." - Ned asked worriedly, but when his friend just shut up for a pretty long time, Ned knew that Peter didn't leave you on the rooftop. - "Peter, what on Earth did you do?"

"You're going to freak out when I tell you. And I don't want to listen to that." - Peter sighed and chose some dumb teenage show he could watch in the meantime. Ned sighed as well and thought for a while that maybe, just maybe, Peter might've gone insane and all with this plan.

"I kissed her." - Parker admitted more quietly, sighing dreamily once again. Ned knew that something like this would happen over time. You got in the phase when you were slowly starting to date Spider-Man, which was great on one side, but Peter was left behind. If Ned's dumb best friend chooses to continue with this insane relationship, there will be one day when he will have to tell you everything. Who is he, why did he tried to win you over as Spidey and not as Peter, or why did he kept these theatrics and game on for such a long time...

And Ned knew that this moment will be brutal once it arrives - he knew you and your nature, he knew how Peter was like... And when all the three worlds (his, yours and Spider-Man's) will collide, the results will destroy both you and Peter probably.

"Peter..." - Ned said silently with his eyes closed, but he knew that by telling him how much of a shitty thing he's up to won't help no-one. So the last topic Ned was asking about the kiss. - "Were you as bad as you were with MJ or did you scored this time?"

"Hey. Not fair, MJ was my first official kiss since kindergarten and it wasn't as terrific as she tells everyone. But I pretty much scored with Y/N today. This was a home run when it comes to a kiss." - Peter patted his shoulder with his words. And to both his and Neds wonder, he drifted off during the phone call, because the excitement just tired Peter to death.

When he met you the other day in school, you were looking like a fairy. That day, you wore a high-waisted jean skirt, a white short-sleeved t-shirt with sunflowers printed on it and a denim jacket. And just for the fun, you even put a flower headdress into a messy hairstyle. Jesus, Peter had never seen someone looking so ridiculously good in such normal clothes.

"Are you fine?" - You nudged his side with your elbow carefully when everyone sat in the cafeteria to have lunch before the afternoon classes. MJ on the other side of the table had a TEDx Talk with Ned, who was finally feeling better and Betty, about the modern society and what grossed her out this time, which you didn't listen since you were stealing lettuce from Ned's tortilla. For a reason, Ned didn't like lettuce, so you almost always all of it. - "I mean, you've been staring into the ragu for more than ten minutes and I don't exactly think that staring would make it warmer, you know?" - You asked before you opened your lips wide as you tried to get the phone out of your backpack.

"I found this meme before I went to sleep and I don't know If I was sleep-deprived or bullshit like that, but it reminded me of you." - You mumbled and searched through your gallery, clearly waiting for Peter to lean over your shoulder as he always did. That was when the thing line between his Spider-Man personality and Peter one started to blur for a second.

Peter almost leaned his palm directly behind your bottom - he, obviously didn't mean to do to harass you, but he needed to support his upper body. In the last minute, he fetched the arm back to his lap - you, thanks to God, didn't notice it. Spider-Man was way further in a so-called relationship with you but even him still couldn't do that. And you would just smack the living fuck out of Peter if he accidentally touched your butt. He just knew that you would.

He leaned closer, furrowing while reading the text which would be completely illogical for May - but it made Peter and Ned both laugh.

"Are you seriously going through memes on the other table again? You don't even listen to why the dude touched my boob." - MJ looked at the three of you grinning. You pretended that you're not even there and slowly put your phone on the table again before looking at MJ and Betty.

"The council has found a meme that can potentially be called the champion and we needed to judge it." - Ned answered MJ with all seriousness and you snorted to your palm as you hid the laughter in front of MJ. The whole meme thing was happening since New Year's Eve - you were looking for any kind of meme and you all were allowed to have three champions that will fight for the title of the meme of the year. And you had your first now and honestly, it was a killer.

"I think it passed the trial." - Peter rose his eyebrows at Ned and watched you laughing. That made him smile happily as well - just watching as you closed your eyes, trying to behave as an adult. But then, when you looked at Peter and his wrist, your eyes almost popped out. You grabbed his watch and looked at the time. Then suddenly, you started to pack abruptly.

"I didn't know its this late, guys. I have a consultation with Miss Crankypants and you know how cranky she can get once you come late." - You mumbled and put a strap of your backpack on your shoulder. Miss Crankypants, her name wasn't Crankypants, was your math teacher and you were lost when it came to math. So sometimes, when even Peter couldn't help you with the problems, you had consultations, since both you and she didn't want to spend your summer meeting up to write another exam.

"You two, see you in the evening?" - You pointed at Peter and Ned. You were talking about a Twilight marathon, a long time ago, and since MJ and Betty wanted to try out a PowerPoint presentation and you didn't want to look at that mess honestly. You, therefore, chose to hang out at May’s and you planned to show them, why Bella should've chosen Jacob and show the boys that Twilight wasn't as bad as they remembered it.

"Yeah." - Ned nodded and Peter just smiled, since the hangout was at his place this time.

"I'll bring popcorn!" - You yelled all over the cafeteria as you ran to the consultation with Miss Crankypants. May allegedly hade some kind of date, so you were free to do as you wanted at their place. Which was an ideal evening for a Twilight Saga in your opinion? You gathered on the smallest couch - and since Ned wasn't exactly a small guy, you had to scoop more close to Peter, which Ned knew - that was why he made himself comfortable. Just when Bella got hit with the volleyball ball, you put the popcorn on the table, making both the boy track their looks to you. You had enough of Ned’s bullshit.

"A), I'm feeling cold so Imma snatch one of your hoodies, Parker and B) Ned, I know that cosplaying Pac Man was your secret dream since you were small, but what is enough, that is enough. Scoop somewhere else, dude, I can't even sit like a normal human being." - You got up and went to Peters's room when you not only snatched his hoodies since you forgot to bring yours but also changed into your old, favorite sweatpants.

Ned looked knowingly at blushing Peter - this much body contact was about to kill him. And Ned never fled from the battleground. Which you understood at soon as you got back, watching Bella and Edwards rather awkward conversation and Ned still occupied more than half of the couch.

"'ight, Peter, thank Ned for making you this uncomfortable because someone's an asshat today and I don't have any other option." - You mumbled with portrayed drama as you climbed between them, leaning your feet into neds thigh as you laid down on the other boy's lap. And dear lord, you never noticed how firm these were. And when you turned around to ask him for a pillow, you caught these hazel marbles watching you intensely as his cheeks blushed. And you had to repeat the question since Peter's brain went for immediate, automatic shutdown. Not only you looked gorgeous in that hoodie, but you were also laying on his lap... Almost as if... As if you did it every day.

"Will you give me the pillow, please? These bad boys are pretty tough, not a healthy neck support." - You laughed at that sight because Peter just looked utterly cute at that moment, your fingers pointing at his thighs. Peter just smiled back and gave you the pillow, not touching any other part of you. You made it to the end of Breaking Dawn Part One when Ned had fallen asleep and started to snort fucking loudly.

As gently as you could, you woke him up and made him go to sleep on the mattress Peter prepared him in his room. And since Ned was delusional once he fell asleep, so naturally, Peter filmed the whole conversion between you and him and laughed in the background as a little kid doing something mean. In the end, Ned was sleeping safe and sound and you made sure that Parker can still walk to his bed.

You caught Peter looking into his phone as you walked back to the living room, but he almost immediately put it away when he sat you sitting down - and even if you could now stretch all you wanted, you still laid down your head on his thighs, searching for the remote controller.

"Are you up for Part two or do you want to go to sleep?" - You asked before you pressed play. In case Peter felt tired, you still could watch the movie alone. No matter how early you all had to get up the next morning, you were strong enough to finish the movie night

"I'm good." - Peter said less cautiously, not realizing that he's peter now - so he put his arm around your shoulder to hold you a bit closer. You didn't mind him at all. You were overall passionate and PDA person - you were hugging MJ all the time no matter how hard she was cringing at that, sometimes you jumped on Peter’s back and let him carry you around the campus, sometimes you entwined your fingers with Betty when you walked down the hall or your elbow with Ned’s when he was beside you. You snuggled everyone, especially when they had a bad day. it was just platonic and from these occasions, you had the nicest photos - you especially loved the one where you pretended that Peter’s your Trojan horse as he carried you around the campus while you heatedly screamed ’Death to Troya!’.

So a hand over your shoulder? That was something you ignored completely.

You got to the point where Bella threw Jacob out of the house when you turned on your back, letting Peter’s arm reamin around your shoulder, now thrown over your collarbone. You looked him in the eyes and smiled.

"You seem weird, Parker. I wanted to ask you a few days back actually, but never got the chance." - You smiled, looking him in the face. Peter's cheeks blushed, it was basically automatic at that point, as he nodded for you to continue. - "You like someone, don't you?" - You closed your eyes a bit, giving him one of the sick smiles. You wanted to know everything - who was she, how did he meet her and if he's going to ask her out and other stuff like that. At that, Peter chuckled before he nodded.

"Is it Bethany from chemistry classes? Or Mary Jane from your physics theory classes? I need to know everything." - You got out with a chuckle. What would you do if he just told you? Just like that? That he's into you and that he's coming to see you in the suit? Instead, he chose a different strategy.

"All I gotta say is that I have someone on my mind. But because you can't keep any secrets, I'm not going to tell you who it is." - He said and laughed when you hit his arm with your palm as you started to laugh. Damn, how beautiful could you get? Because Peter could see that as more and more time passed, you were more and more pretty.

"Suck it, Parker!" - You laughed, then put your palm over his forearm as you bit your lip. - "I'm seeing someone as well now. It’s going great... And because I don't want Betty and MJ to know tomorrow as soon as you meet them at the campus, Imma not telling you who it is." - You sad proudly and turned to the movie again. Peter actually closed his eyes in frustration, knowing damn well who you were talking about.

And basically, that was how you both fell asleep while the whole super-cool scene with vampires going after each other. And that was how found you, tugging at least you into the blanket. You had your head on his thighs, hugging the pillow with both your arms while Peter sat on the couch, basically broken in his back, leaning into his palm while the other one supported his head.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?

#peter parker #Peter parker x reader #peter parker mcu #peter parker ima #Spider-Man x reader #spider-man #ned leeds #ned leeds mcu #betty brant #betty brant mcu #michelle MJ jones #MJ jones #MJ mcu #mcu #marvel #powfu #death bed

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infinitelytheheartexpands · 4 years ago

Note

as we are exchanging asks, something you asked me once: 10 favorite characters from 10 different operas and what you like about them?

an extremely delayed response, all apologies, and also it’s past midnight right now so perhaps I should be sleeping and I’ll try to keep this somewhat short (and probably fail), but anyway, to answer your question:

1. Don Carlo(s): I love just about everyone in this opera (except you, Grand Inquisitor. you can go die) but if I had to choose one, I’d go with the absolute icon that is Princess Éboli. The thing I love about her most, I think, is how wonderfully complicated and real she is. I mean, she loves life, she’s a fierce badass, she does some horrible things for...lots of different reasons, but she does her absolute best to set things right again. In short, an extremely relatable, amazing, gorgeous Disaster Bi. Also: Verdi mezzo, so epic-as-hell music.

2. La traviata: Violetta Valéry. She doesn’t have much in the way of competition within her opera, but I’m still putting her on here because she’s one of my favorite characters in anything ever, and one of the first fictional ladies on whom I developed a hardcore crush. Something people forget about courtesans is that they were more than just...sex objects. They were smart ladies who oftentimes set the pace for upper-class life even as they were privately scorned for their position. And Marie Duplessis (on whom Violetta is based) is pretty much your ultimate rags-to-riches story (although we know how it ultimately ends). So Violetta goes from having nothing to teaching herself the ways of the world, climbs to the top of Parisian society, then decides she wants to give it all up for true love and fulfillment. While she didn’t choose the right guy IMO, she’s incredibly brave and bold and sensitive and she cares so much about everyone and she gives up her happiness so many times and I can’t and I love her so much and also her music is amazing and excuse me while I go cry. Also I need to make these shorter.

3. Simon Boccanegra: There’s my boy, Simon! One: I am a sucker for Good Baritones. Two: I am particularly a sucker for Good or Good-at-Heart Tormented Verdi Baritones. Three: THIS GUY. All he wants is to have peace and be with his family. That’s it. He’s so good and kind and amazing but also he is taking exactly no one’s BS (just listen to that Council Chamber scene!). He takes a position he didn’t want in the hope that he’ll be able to win Maria, but then she dies, but then he still uses his position to try to reconcile the factions anyway (and surprisingly enough, he’s pretty successful?). And him as a dad MY HEART.

4. Falstaff: Alice Ford, aka area 15th-century mistress of the house who has the mind of a 21st-century woman and is absolutely iconic for it. She’s incredibly smart and funny and clever and such a sweet person and great mom. She takes no one’s crap whatsoever and she outsmarts both Ford and Falstaff at every turn. She’s the ultimate ‘girls supporting girls’ lady and she gives the middle finger to the concepts of women just being good for being men’s playthings and of arranged marriage. And she knows how to have fun with it all. My one complaint: VERDI WHAT WERE YOU THINKING NOT GIVING HER A BADASS ARIA. That’s all.

5. Carmen: Carmen, my first love...I fell in love with her Habañera and her sheer confidence when I was 7 (and not realizing what it was about, may or may not have attempted to sing it on the playground at school, much to everyone’s confusion, but that’s a story for another time) and I’ve loved her since. I love her freedom, her huge self-confidence, her devil-may-care attitude, and every last note of her music. I just love her as a person. And of course, the iconic ‘‘Free was I born, and free I will die!” That right there is a life motto.

6. Eugene Onegin: My fellow book-loving, perpetually-dreaming nerd Tatyana Larina. Of course, I love her because of how sheerly relatable she is but there are so many other reasons as well. Like her and her sister’s dynamic. And the way she grows up and matures. And the way she’s not afraid to set some damn boundaries with Onegin, indeed, tell him no. That’s a strong girl right there, and while I wish she’d been able to get Onegin and true happiness...I’m not sure a relationship with Onegin would’ve worked out, and I’m proud of her for realizing that such a relationship (and perpetually fantasizing about it) could be extremely unhealthy and moving on. And oh God, her music. Especially the letter scene, which is every writer on an inspiration binge. And the final scene. Anyway.

7. Guillaume Tell: This is another ‘I love just about all the characters in this opera but welp I have to choose just one’ opera, and my choice is Guillaume Tell himself. First off: see #4. Second off: He’s just??? such an incredible person in every way like how is it possible to be that great of a human being??? He’s brave, he sticks up for what he believes in, he’s always willing to give others a helping hand, he’s super-enthusiastic, he’s a great husband/dad/friend, he’ll do anything for the people he cares about, he will readily call those who need it out on their BS...anyway we STAN him on this blog. Also, Rossini. And that incredibly gorgeous aria ‘Sois immobile’. I die.

8. Les Huguenots: Yet another grand opéra where I love the vast majority of the characters, and while I am 99% sure you already know the answer to this, I’ll say it again: it’s the only, the only Valentine de Saint-Bris, who just so happens to be incredibly amazing. She’s so...real and expressive and she’s someone I just personally feel like I get, like I see a little (okay more than that) of myself in her because of how real and relatable she is (I wrote a few posts a while back about why I headcanon that she has a severe undiagnosed anxiety disorder, which was...a major part of the story of my life for a while and to a lesser extent still is, but I digress) and also how amazing of a person she is. She’s not willing to just sit idly by while the world around her falls apart and the people she loves turn on each other (and eventually her). She’s one of the few people on either side of the aisle who’s like ‘this whole religious war thing is stupid and y’all need to stop’ and when things go from bad to worse, she puts herself out there in the middle of it all to save the people she cares about most (oh, also, remember how she just. stormed into the royal palace, demanded an interview with the Queen Mother, got it, and then used said interview to get a way to save Raoul and Marcel? yeah me too), and then when that fails, she literally renounces her own faith rather than belong to a religion that is committing actual crimes against humanity. and while she still fights to the bitter end, she still believes there’s a way to redemption for everyone and forgives her dad and JUST...I die. Also her music’s great but like. I love her mostly for her story.

9. Benvenuto Cellini: I am falling in love with this opera and literally all of its characters more and more every day, but my favorite character is probably Benvenuto Cellini himself, who is a) one of the few Not-Dumb tenors in opera and b) is a (mostly) Good Tenor. He loves life, he loves his art, he loves Teresa, and there are so many times where he is just such a Mood (see pretty much his entire second-act aria). Also, dude is GUTSY as hell. I mean, he literally gets the Pope to give him...pretty much everything he wants in exchange for the statue. That right there is an iconic moment. I don’t have a whole lot else to say about the character because it’s still kind of a new opera to me, but anyway he’s super-cool and I love him.

10. Les contes d’Hoffmann: Nicklausse! (Also his incarnation as the Muse, but mostly Nicklausse) He gets some of the best music in the whole thing (the Violin Aria anyone? or the Barcarolle with Giulietta?) and also he’s one of my favorite trouser roles. He’s super-ambiguous— is he really Hoffmann’s buddy or is he actually secretly working for Lindorf or is he going back and forth or is he somehow trying to help Hoffmann through working with Lindorf??? But one thing’s for sure: he’s by turns funny, serious, caring, devious...and I love him all the time. And his Musely work...ugh, the Muse gets me every time. Also, I invariably picture Kate Lindsey in the Sher production and that is a LOOK.

That’s all, sorry about the wait, and here you go! ❤️

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shari-berri · 4 years ago

Text

Let’s have a talk about human decency, respect of other people, respecting disabilities, disorders, illnesses, and overall not being a dick. Oh! And wanting answers as this person was not helpful, PLEASE ANSWER ITS URGENT!

I made a post on Yahoo Answers for an issue I have been having.

This is what my question/information was:

Our kitten who is relatively new, 1 year, keep going to the bathroom outside of the litter box. My mom keeps moving it to where she has used it but she suddenly moved it upstairs. Now, she said that there needs to be on on every level of the house, but there are a few things wrong with that. First off, our house has a half level. The only thing “upstairs” on a “second floor” is the kids rooms and a bathroom. Otherwise it is open space for the living room. Besides that, it said that a litter box shoulder be anywhere near loud areas, like children’s bedrooms. Now, I am right across from it and I already have insomnia. I’m extremely sensitive to smell, sound, all senses, probably my ADHD, and this wouldn’t help. There is also one in the bathroom. I gag/puke at anything. Every smell is amplified by 100 due to my adhd sensitivity. I know what something tastes like from smelling it. I puke almost every single time I clean the litter boxes and the smell drifts right into my room, not to mention my allergies to cats and asthma. Our cats that do this don’t even relieve themselves upstairs and I feel like this would just make them since it happened before in the bathroom but it stopped after putting the litter box downstairs. I fear for my health and that it would cause the kitten to defecate on the rugs again.

This was a person’s reply:

Let’s debunk this, shall we?

-I was accused of, lemme check, faking my MENTAL ILLNESS due to “incorrect symptoms” and such. Apparently, hypersensitivity to surroundings isn’t a symptom of ADHD, only OCD.

This person stated that ADHD only “has trouble focusing and relaxing”

If you were to look at it on the most basic and uneducated level then sure, that’s entirely what the whole fucking disorder is!

Lesser known symptoms of ADHD that as someone WITH this mental illness would know:

-(MOSTLY) transient tics

-difficulty controlling emotions

-anger

-impulsiveness

-OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?! HYPERSENSITIVITY!!!

-Next: “You’re either making this shit up or you’re just a REALLY stupid complaining child” “trolling”

Social rules and norms, yeah?

Apparently they’re nonexistent to this person

Right, so NEVER, and I speak for everyone with a disorder, disability, whatever, NEVER EVER accuse them of ‘faking it’!

Oh, yes, I love pretending like I have (blank), I love the ostracization it gets me, the harassment, the bullying, it’s my FAVORITE part!

Assuming they’re talking about the topic of the question: ummmm...pets 101?

Yes, my cat has never shit on the floor, Princess ALWAYS uses her litter box.

Where the fuck did this happen?! Animals do this for different reasons, why the hell would I “make this shit up?”

You know me, joking about stepping in my cat’s shit, hilarious!

-“I bet you whined and whined for a kitten but now that you realize it includes work you don’t want it!”

At the time we got Fufu, we were in no position to adopt another cat. We already had 3 and were living in a rental house after my house had a fire. We were lucky that our three cars were ALIVE AND BREATHING, having been rescued and given tiny oxygen masks and kept in the vet’s breathing chamber. My sister’s friend had kittens and my mom brought it home to “babysit” for the day. Of course, she ended up keeping it. I was AGAINST the idea, ya hear that?! We were in no way able to take care of another creature, we were settling legalities and such. Did I mention that my mom had done the same thing with the third cat? Just showed up from work one day with a cat carrier and cat. I did NOT at all whine, I had no idea we were adopting our last 2 cats.

About work being involved and me backing out because of it:

For YEARS since I was 4 I have been going to a horse riding summer camp where in order to ride, we had to clean. I’m pretty sure that if I’m able to:

-muck out 20+ stalls

-change all of the hay

-Carry tons of hay bales

-Lead horses time pasture etc

-pick horses hooves

And all that? You think a fucking LITTER BOX is “too much work” and that I’m gonna leave because, “Oh no! Now that I know there’s work, I no longer want to do it!”

-Allergies: Again, I didn’t have a say in whether or not I got this cat

-“Tell your family you don’t deserve this kitten.”

And that helps my cats shitting on the ground, my inability to breathe from asthma, especially from the litter in my room how? Cool, I told my parents I don’t deserve Fufu, problem solved, well done Governer!

-“You’re an immature child making shit up just to shirk the responsibilities of caring for it.”

Again, seeing all of the work I did just for a summer camp, where I shouldn’t have been working in the first place in order to ride horses like I was paying to do, I don’t find this statement accurate, like at all. Not including all of the other things I do:

-Pack Away Hunger

-Summer camp counselor

-Volunteering at animal shelters

Sure dude, sure.

Again with the making shit up?! Are people not aware that animals have accidents? I had to put diapers on my elderly Yorkie! And making shit up, ah yes, I forgot nobody has ever witnessed someone with a strong gag reflex. Yeah, peacefully relaxing, something that I apparently can’t do because I have ADHD, but make me gag randomly.

Let’s also remember that due to my hypersensitivity, I know what something tastes like from smelling it. Taking “eat shit” to a whole new level!

How relaxing is it to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of cats scratching around and throwing litter everywhere, the sweet scent of cat shit lulling you to sleep.

Mmmmm peaceful!

Now: analyzing what I said

It did say that cats should have a litter box on ever floor, but what if it was a half floor? Yeah, the only second floor we have is a slight jutting platform that is enough to hold children bedrooms and a bathroom.

Again, only move the litter box if absolutely necessary

Fufu used to relieve herself on the upstairs bathroom rugs but since we put a litter box in the porch, she stopped doing that. Oh, and the porch is connected to the kitchen, no doors. It’s great trying to eat while smelling cat business wafting through the air like Eddie’s breath going back into his face, big fan!

She started recently peeing outside of the litter box in the kitchen, if we put litter boxes somewhere, wouldn’t she just shit in that area?? (Answer in comments)

Litter boxes should not be by loud areas, specifically, children’s bedrooms. And, there should be a clear escape route.

Being directly in between my youngest sisters’ room who scream loudly when watching anime and my older sister’s room who squeals, not at ALL quiet.

And escape routes??? Our cats could get stuck in so many places, that’s a no!

So, please let me know in the comments what I should do! I REALLY need answers!

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