#my fave part ab depressive episodes (

[mishkakagehishka]

Also if i post a selfie bc i'm too lazy to edit black lines over my face but wanna show the beach waves, prommy to keep it between us friends?

[rxsmyers-a]

Dem rules: Answer the questions asked by the tagger, then list 11 questions and tag 11 people to answer your questions.

Tagged by: @brooklynislandgirl​

1. What have you done to overcome your fears?

Um, it depends on the fear.  I’ve gone whitewater rafting through category 4 rapids in an inflatable kayak.  I’ve hiked along paths barely wide enough for my feett.  I’ve gone back to school despite having failed every previous attempt.  I’ve said yes to an invitation from a friend I haven’t spoken to in nearly 10 years.  So, I mean, in general I’ve just faced my fears head on?  And not even always with a support net in place (if I’d fallen on that hike there was no rope to catch me) which is kind of exhilarating while being completely fucking terrifying.  

So I guess I just face them head on?  Sometimes with help (my parents and my psychiatrist have been super supportive of me going back to school).

2. What attracted you to your fandom in the first place?

I’m sure there are old followers who are getting tired of hearing this story.  But.  Vivian was conceived during a horrifically bad depressive episode (not to mention a medication withdrawal) when basically all I could do was lay on the couch/bed occasionally playing MCU films on repeat.  In general I kept watching Thor and Avengers.  In all truth, Thor’s abs were what first drew me into the MCU?  (I was prepared to be a ‘I never read the comics but the comics are better’ snob before I saw Hemsworth shirtless.)  I guess what drew me in was partly what makes me prefer Marvel to DC - I live near NYC, and the city is life to me, and always has been.  Ever since I was a child NYC was the place where anything could happen.  Adding superheroes to a place I loved just made it so much easier to imagine someone who shared my ‘weaknesses’ as being a part of their universe.

When I discovered there was an MCU RP community on tumbler, the rest was history.

3. Why did you choose a Canon over an OC {Or your OC over a Canon}, and which do you think is harder {if you have both}?

 I have both.  Though, to be honest, I’m closer to my OCs, mostly because I can get into their heads easier.  What does Vivian like to eat?  Anything I fucking say she does.  Can anyone contradict me?  Not at all.  Though, the real reason I chose her over a canon character when I decided to start RPing on tumblr is because no one’s written a canon character with the mix of mental illnesses that I deal with, and Vivian was conceived while I was both massively depressed and suffering medication withdrawal.  What I wanted, while I was suffering and miserable, was someone who felt my pain.  Someone who knew what it felt like to go into withdrawal over medications meant to keep them stable.  Someone who knew what my pain felt like.  And there was no canon character to fit that bill.

That being said, I’ve written canon and OC, and I’m tired of the battle between the two.  I know someone who insists that canons have it ‘easy’.   That somehow there’s no effort to writing them.  And I kind of want to smack them every time they say it, because that attitude is as bullshit as the idea that OCs are inherently easier than canons.

Both muses have their challenges.  OCs will find it harder to find partners.  They’ll be judged by unfair standards, especially if they’re female.  They’ll be called ‘Mary Sues’ for no good reason or ‘Overpowered’ because they share the same traits as a male canon.

But canons have as much shit.  You’e not ‘in character’ enough.  Gods forbid there’s another person who plays your character (or another 20+ if you’re playing a popular character) because then you’ll be constantly compared to all the others.  Unless you distinguish yourself as AU or canon divergent you’ll be criticized for every “out of character” choice you make - and even if you say you’re AU of canon divergent you’ll get the haters who can’t read.  Don’t ship the popular ship for your character?  Good luck finding people to RP with you.  Canons are constantly measured against the source material and, more importantly, against fanon expectations.  

4. If money were no object, what would be the one thing you’d buy to declare your nerd/fandom to the world?

Terry Pratchett’s original manuscripts for every Discworld novel.  They would be my most treasured possessions.  They’d live in an environmentally-controlled bookcase where people were allowed to look but not touch.  (And of course upon my death I’d bequeath them to a museum.)

5. Tesla or Edison? Why?

Tesla because he loved pigeons and Tamora Pierce has given me a love of pigeons after her Beka Cooper books.  Also he wanted to build a death ray and I can get behind that kind of thinking.  

6. If you could trade one family member for a Character of any fandom/media type, who would it be, who would you replace, and why?

You didn’t specify immediate family so I’m going to trade one of the aunts I don’t actually know (my mother’s father had a family in Hungary before he fled to the US.  Don’t feel bad for him, he was fleeing war crimes ahead of the Soviet invasion of Hungary) for, um.....   Sandry.  Sandrilene Fa Toren, of Emelan.  Not only is she kind and giving and rich, she’s a stitch witch who would ensure I had beautifully fitting clothing that would never get dirty or wrinkled ever again.  And for someone of my size, you don’t pass an opportunity like that up.

7. Brand New House…supernatural/otherworldly shenanigans, what do you do?

Call the Ghostbuters?  I hear they  have an all-female crew now.

8. Favourite Non-RP Hobby?

Knitting, usually while playing DnD or watching TV.

9. Where do you want to go on an all expenses paid 3 week holiday?

Europe.  I’ve decided, after 4 years of Vivian having the same dream trip, that I want to go on it myself.  (Said trip being a tour of all the major museums in Europe plus the cities that were the center of major art movements.)

10. Favourite childhood fairytale and why?

Beauty and the Beast.  She likes books.  He gives her a library.  She becomes a princess.  I fail to see the downside of this story.  (My bestie and I have always loved Belle ever since the animated movie came out when we were 11.  She was us.  Weird, a bookworm, brunette... )

11. Do you believe destiny/fate?

Absolutely not.  I think fate is what we make for ourselves.  Do coincidence and happenstance exist?  Yes, but they’re not fate.

New Questions: 1. You can choose three museums in the world to visit, and never visit any others.  Which three do you choose? 2. Everyone is attacking your fandom fave.  What do you say to defend them? 3. What shows/movies are in your ‘to watch’ list? 4. Do you drink alcohol?  What’s your favorite beverage?  If not, what’s your favorite alternative? 5. You’re at a deli.  What do you order to eat? 6. You can only watch one TV show and one movie ever again.  What are your choices? 7. Your fandom favorite is now your new roommate.  What is your new life like? 8. Why did you choose to play the character you do? 9. For the next year, you can go anywhere in the world you want, all expenses paid.  Where do you go, and why? 10. Vivian says you suck.  Why does Vivian say you suck? 11. I’m running out of questions in case you can’t tell.  Um.  What fandom would you like to break into/cross over into, and why?

Tagged: @lucxsnorth, @soldierwithoutaname, @icekingloki, @acreatureofpureirony, @morethanicantell, @sinnhelmingr, @deweydeadcimal,  @hellhuntin,