#my father was/is violently abusive and i always think he is gonna kill me one day

[phoenixfeline]

Im very upset at life and myself. I wish I had gotten out there to vote instead of being scared of being murdered by my own family...

[stellacadente]

i think the hardest thing about trauma that comes from the abuse you suffered by the hands of someone close to you is when as an adult you have to reconcile the past and all that hurt with the now...

[woofs-silly-ships]

Oh boy, it’s that time again

(Haven’t done it much here but when a big piece of media comes out, you usually get a hyperfixated ramble post right after I finish it and a deep dive a day later. This is the deep dive lol)

Warnings: discussion of abuse and neglect, solitary confinement, and ptsd/childhood trauma. And ofc spoilers for WOTFI 2024 and just smg4 in general

Oh yeah and since I’m tagging this as selfship, the selfship stuff is at the bottom of yall want to just skip to that lol

I think I need to preface this by saying I still loved literally all of the WOTFI besides the ending. The song was freaking awesome (I’ll get into that later), the challenges were perfect, the clown designs for the main cast were amazing, etc. I’m just trying to get the negativity out first lol

But yeah ok, gotta get the elephant in the room out of the way first: what the trio chose to do with Puzzles was absolutely awful.

I was mostly shocked that Meggy seemed just totally ok with it considering SHE JUST SAW FIRSTHAND HOW ABUSED PUZZLES WAS??? She literally met his child self and saw how weary he was, how he flinched away from her touch like those are clear signs of abuse and it seems like Meggy should’ve known that

So why the frick didn’t she object? Mario is always doing stupid crap so that makes sense, but you would think Meggy or even SMG4 would do something???

But why is it abuse, you ask? Well, Puzzles has one major issue, and that’s that he has no friends. And then Meggy became friends with his child self, therefore logically setting him on the path to redemption. But obviously Puzzles has done some awful crap and should’ve been punished in some way, maybe something like having to stay exclusively in the showgrounds for a while until he shows improvement, with the gang there to support him (just came up with that off the top of my head lol). But you know what they decided was the best possible punishment for this man? Solitary freaking confinement. The punishment notorious for literally causing prisoners to go insane due to lack of interaction. And you just had to give that specific punishment to a man WHO LOST HIS FREAKING MIND AS A CHILD DUE TO LACK OF INTERACTION?? DO YALL SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS???

I’m not even mad that they did that, obviously it’s wrong but these are fictional characters making that decision, and characters can be misguided. You can have characters that literally violate everything on a basic dni list or something, characters can be evil. My issue is when it is glorified or romanticized. And that’s pretty much exactly what they’re doing here

Another line that came out of Meggy’s mouth that really hurt me was when she said that maybe he’d get better in there, stop being so obsessed with ratings…. is she stupid? The whole reason why this all started is because Puzzles was an abused child with no friends who basically hyperfixated on wanting to fulfill his dream of running a park (and later tv production as well) but was shut down by his father and isolated himself with a tv all day. Meggy had just managed to heal his inner child and see the good in him. And then they act like finally giving him what he needs to heal and then VIOLENTLY RIPPING IT AWAY FROM HIM AND LOCKING HIM IN A ROOM (MIGHT I ADD, LIKE HE DID AS A CHILD DUE TO TRUAMA, THERE IS NO WAY THIS ISNT BRINGING UP SOME GENUINE PTSD FROM HIM) IS GOING TO JUST MAGICALLY FIX HIM??? NO! AND THERE IS ZERO INDICATION IN THE MOVIE, NOT EVEN A HINT, THAT THE TRIO MIGHT BE IN THE WRONG.

I’m sorry, but this is abuse and also extreme neglect of what Puzzles needed to change.

And also, Puzzles being a villain doesn’t make any of this ok. Didn’t we already learn that with SMG3?? Villains that have clear issues like this can be reformed over time, it just takes work. But no, apparently they’re not gonna do that

Genuinely speaking: if they wanted betrayal via Mario, they should’ve had him just straight up kill Puzzles or something right then and there. Or keep the original story but have the others seem horrified of what Mario did.

Also that scene really should’ve been given more time to breathe, I know this is the haha funny Mario spaghetti show but that doesn’t excuse going from villain being likely reformed to villain being arrested and the park exploding in a matter of 5 god dang seconds. Sure that would’ve been funny if this was some random side character or minor reoccurring villain, but this was literally the man behind 3-4 arcs and the star of 2 more, and a clear fan favorite character. Even if he wasn’t gonna die, they should’ve treated it like Axol or One Shot Wren, where both the audience and characters are given time to mourn and see what was happening, see character reactions, all of that. Even a stupid line from a couple of the police officers would’ve worked perfectly. Just time to process what the frick just happened.

My only other issue besides, well, all that lmao, is that the actual movie was just nothing like the trailer, like there were scenes exclusively in the trailer and that felt really weird to me

Ok, negativity out of the way now :D

The song!!! I was kinda hoping for a rap but yeah this fit way better lol, haven’t seen anybody talk about it but the puzzles design with just the head and hands is freaking epic omgggg

Also I loved how the parts sung by the trio are kinda more akin to children’s movie songs (describing exactly what’s happening on screen, the sad “I know there’s good in you” part, etc) and then Puzzle’s parts are just hahaha I’m gonna freaking turn your corpses into gushing mounds of blood-

Also GGRRRR I WANT TO DRAW THE CLOWN DESIGNS SO BADDDD!!! THEYRE SO DANG COOL!!!

And also UGHHH THE MERCHHH I WANT IT SO BAD BUT IM B R O K E 😭

The challenges were also really fitting, didn’t see any users I recognized but those that got in were perfect

And no SMG34 fuel sadly :(, eh can’t always get the gay old men lol, maybe next time

And yeah this is my selfship blog so gotta let a few of the demons out:

THE FREAKING FACE HE MADE BEFORE ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!! IGNORING WHAT HAPPEN AFTER HE WAS SO GOD DANG CUTE AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM AND CUDDLE HIM GRGGRGRGR HES SO DANG SILLY-

Anddd that’s about it! This post will probably get like, 2 notes but who tf cares!! I just needed to ramble a lot lol

[rowenablade]

“You worship the sun, but you keep feeding the dark.”

Thoughts on Ed, Izzy and Miscommunication.

“Drowning in the Sound” by Amanda Palmer is not on my list of go-to Blackhands songs, but that line above sums up Izzy so well for me, and a comment on my most recent fic update got me thinking about one of the more controversial lines from the finale.

“I fed your darkness.”

First things first: I'm not a canyonite, but I do unapologetically love Izzy as a character and do not buy into the narrative that he was an abusive manipulator and Ed was a helpless victim. If that makes you decide that I'm a dumbass, feel free to scroll on past. You're not gonna like the rest of this post.

We good? Okay.

So I know a lot of people hated that line and that scene in general, for a lot of reasons I won't get into here, but I wasn't one of them. While I don't agree with the Izzy=Abusive Manipulator takes, I also don't agree with the interpretation that Izzy was 100% the victim and Ed was a monstrous abuser. To me, their relationship was always a complicated, messy arrangement between two deeply flawed people, with far too many unspoken assumptions at its core. And one of the things that made it so fascinating for me was Izzy's ability to harm Ed when he thought he was helping him.

Look. I fully believe that at one point in time, these two loved each other. By the time we meet them in canon, the foundation of their relationship has rotted, but they are both self-actualized enough to leave a situation if it truly never made them happy.

That doesn't mean I think they were ever explicitly a romantic couple, or ever physically intimate (I actually think that never happened in canon.) But they loved each other once, and tried to show each other that love, and they are both so. Fucking. Bad at it. Or at least, they're bad at understanding how the other interprets the ways they say "I love you."

Take Ed. Yes, he uses a lot of physical touch, but I think Ed's truest way of expressing affection is inviting someone else to play with him. That's why he falls so hard for Stede- he's the playmate Ed never had, the one person who's always ready to give him a "Yes, and." And we see this in his interactions with Izzy in s1e4- calling Izzy to check out things he thinks are cool, trying to get him talking about the shape of the clouds. He's inviting Izzy to play with him, and it's going completely over Izzy's head, because Izzy doesn't want to play! He's at work! Now's not the time, Edward! But that's the thing- they're Blackbeard and Izzy Hands. They're never not at work. And that's what causes Ed's despair and Izzy's frustration to build, because they don't know how to interact with each other outside the context of their jobs.

So what looks like love, to Izzy?

My guess? Bonnie & Clyde. Natural Born Killers. Thelma & Louise. Us against the world, baby. Life is cruel and short, and ends violently, but at least we've got each other. We don't get info about Izzy's background, but his interactions with Ed vs. everyone else, and especially his possessiveness of Edward behind the Blackbeard persona, suggests a man for whom personal relationships are Serious Business. It's not about fun. It's about survival.

I think to Izzy, being someone's only safe person to be around, being the only two people in the world who understand each other, being constantly under threat and prepared to kill to protect one another, is heart-stoppingly romantic.

But it's not romantic for Ed at all. It's terrifying.

Ed's worried he's unlovable. He's worried he's a monster deep down. It's not going to make him feel safe, to be told that there's only one person in the world who really gets him. It's going to feel terribly isolating, and on top of that, it feels so serious. Ed doesn't want a relationship rooted in violence- he grew up around that, and it destroyed his family.

And Izzy has no idea.

He doesn't know about any of Ed's baggage with his father, or the self-esteem issues that make him worry he's unlovable. He doesn't know how alone it makes Ed feel to be told there's no one like him, even in the context of a compliment ("the most brilliant sailor I had ever met") or how triggering it would be to watch one person he loves hurt another (how could Ed not have been thinking of his parents during the duel scene?)

I think a lot of people assume that when Izzy says "I fed your darkness," he's referring to the "namby pamby in a silk gown" scene. But that was Izzy in a state of near-panic, desperate to say something that would get Ed to take him seriously, and I don't think that's what their relationship normally looked like.

I think Izzy fed Ed's darkness "for years" by telling him, through words or actions, that there was only ever the two of them, that they couldn't trust anybody else, that one of them would die defending the other.

"I fed your darkness" was Izzy realizing that to Ed, that didn't sound like, "I love you." It sounded like, "Without me, you're completely alone." And being alone is the thing that frightens Ed the most.

[valleyfthdolls]

Ohh for a drabble, maybe one for the fnaf movie universe where the golden freddy kid (calling him Cassidy) and mike actually start to bond with each other, and Cass slowly opens up to Mike too, and gets a tad bit more friendly with Mike.

The building is cold. Even in the middle of summer, Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria always manages to carry a frigid air. Michael Schmidt pulls his unzipped hoodie closer around his chest and huffs.

He's here for something. Again. He can't seem to tear himself away. Something exists within these walls. Not something that he wants, but something that wants him.

He's seen that little blonde boy again when he closes his eyes. That blonde boy he knows near nothing about. That boy who never explained himself to him. First he wanted Abby.

Now he wants Mike.

"Hey," Mike calls. "Uh, li... little boy?"

He has no idea how to address the kid. Christ. He sounds like a damn idiot.

"Hey, kid, I'm here," He says again, trying to sound less like an idiot than he feels. "You wanted to see me?"

A wail of pain echoes through the dilapidated halls. Something tells Mike it's not the voice of a child.

"Y- you wanted to see me," Mike repeats. His voice wavers with fear, and he clears his throat. "You wanted to see me. Didn't you? That's why you kept appearing in my dreams. Well, I-I'm here now."

The boy is shaking when he sees him. Fists clenched, jaw tight, he stares at Mike, trembling with suppressed tension, and his glare is piercing, violent. Mike prepares himself to run.

And yet, surprisingly, when he takes a step forward, the little boy flinches like he's the one in danger. He scurries back, positioning himself defensively.

"Woah, hey." Mike raises a hand. "I'm not gonna hurt you. You brought me here, and I need you to tell me why, okay?"

The boy scans him unsurely, then relaxes his stance.

Mike takes another step toward him, and then the boy sprints away.

"Come on, you-!" Mike huffs, not even sure what else to say, and begins to run after him.

For a second, he convinces himself he's dreaming. It's another version of the dream of Garret and Vanessa's father, the children's thoughts infiltrating his subconscious again. He'll run after the boy, and then he'll lose his footing somehow and be left back in reality with no idea what it means.

He does lose his footing when the boy comes to an abrupt stop, but surprisingly, manages to catch himself. The ice-cold wall is a good reminder that none of this is imaginary.

The door to the back room is open. The room that hosts that creepy Ella doll- the one that almost killed Abby. He still doesn’t understand how the kids could think this fate was worth condemning a friend to because they loved her.

Inside the room is the yellow rabbit suit. It twitches.

“This is…” Mike can’t even find words. It’s his brother’s murderer. Vanessa’s abusive father. The man who put all of these kids through this hell.

“He’s not dead,” The boy hisses.

“Huh?”

“He’s not. Dead.” He glares, annoyed. “Can’t you hear, dummy? He’s alive. Hit him. He’ll scream.”

“How is that possible?”

“I don’t know,” The boy insists. “Hit him. He’ll feel it.”

Mike scans the room. He totally could. That man killed Garrett. Nearly took both of his sisters. Destroyed the lives of all of these children. And he got away with it for so fucking long. So long that Mike spent thirteen years reliving that moment desperately trying to understand his crime.

Mike could hit him- jam the broken broom into his stomach and hear him scream. Just like he had when he entered. That was… him, screaming in pain.

Instead, he turns away. Escapes. Runs. He's back in the dining area by the time the boy appears again.

“Have you just been… torturing him this whole time?” Mike asks.

“He deserves it,” The boy retorts. “He killed your brother. He destroyed everything.”

Mike scans the boy.

“Why are you still here? Isn’t it time to move on like your friends did?”

“They don’t get it,” He says finally. “They let themselves forget what they had. But you didn’t. So why do you want to move on anyway?”

Mike's eyes are still trained on him. This kid... scares the shit out of him. But he's a kid, and he's suffering. Mike owes him a little decency.

"Because there are things waiting for us if we move on."

"Maybe for you. You still have Abby. You have his daughter. But I have nothing. And I had a family too, you know." The kid scowls. "All of us did. So he should be punished."

Mike's gaze softens.

God, he wants to punish that man. He wants to tear into him. Make him fucking suffer for what he did to Garrett. But none of it will bring his brother back. He focuses on the child in front of him.

"Why are you showing me this?" He asks gently.

"Because I know you understand."

[troutfur]

The founders in Starclan are a big interest to me, something about the first 5 leaders, who all knew and fought each other, now sorta just being the founding principles of the clan as these nearly godlike beings that direct Starclan is so interesting.

Imagine being Thunder, and you abusive, murderous, POS father Clear Sky who personally hurt you and killed your friends is now... Sending you work emails because the printer over in his department broke (or the cat equivalent). And what are you gonna do, say no?

Their lives are probably barely more than a fleeting memory, and their personalities have been sanded down to the most bare virtues of what the Clans think they embody (what if Clear Sky actually became better because he is remembered as a semi honorable warrior who embodies the Clans warrior culture, instead of just a violent opportunist.)

It's such a haunting concept, being in the afterlife and seeing the person who hurt you the most and who you have actively faut, but now you just wordlessly work with them because your lives are so distant neither of you can actually hold a grudge over it anymore.

The four Clans have this interesting tension between being independent polities but at the same time being themselves as a single quasi-ethnicity. I wish DotC had had them form as much more disparate groups rather than basically being a wave of assimilation into mountain cat culture. But even as written I feel like the tension between the original leaders didn't leave the current status quo as a given. These people that now have to act as the collective symbol were always in contention with each other but now they have to operate as a unit.

It really is haunting, and that disconnect is one of my favorite parts of the concept of StarClan as living memory. Really reminds you of the mirage-like nature of consciousness.

[teamplasmaofficial]

[@cryogenic-achromatic]

Pelipper Mail: It's another handwritten note, in the same doctor handwriting as the previous. It reads:

"I am another Colress, but I don't have a Pokeblr account. I didn't intend for my previous package to come off as a bribe. Rather, I'm quite curious, and simply wanted an excuse to ask."

"If you're comfortable with it, could you tell us about your immediate family?"

It's signed off with a crude drawing of a Magnemite.

Of course, if you wish to know, I have nothing to hide. I haven’t spoken of my family in many years, forgive me, I may have forgotten some details.

My siblings and I were raised almost exclusively by our mother, as Father spent most of his time abroad for work. He worked for the International Police, so we were never sure where he headed to, or how long he’d be gone. I have very few memories of my father.

My elder brother, Favian, was an incredibly intelligent man. I studied alongside him in Kalos, and all throughout our childhood I remember him excelling in everything he attempted. I still hold a great deal of respect for him. Unfortunately, he was attacked and killed by a violent Pokémon when he was 28 years old. Such a bright young man, gone much too soon…

As for my sister, Cordelia, I was never as close to her as I was Favian, despite us being twins. I suppose society has progressed since my youth, but young men and young women were raised very differently, which could have contributed to the lack of connection I had with my twin sister. She was never very intelligent, although she attracted the most of Mother’s attention of my siblings. I wouldn’t say I hated her, it was moreso a childish jealousy, as I’m sure all siblings have felt at one time. After Mother died, I never attempted to continue meeting with her, and she evidently felt the same.

Of course, this all was quite a while ago. Although, never for a second do I doubt my memory. I hope this satisfies you. In all honesty, I enjoyed having the opportunity to remember my childhood.

OOC:

ooh!! ooh!!! i’m gonna dump some headcanons i have that there is no way in hell ghetsis would ever admit like. publicly.

These all apply to my interpretation of ghetsis, and in case you didn’t notice, i have done a lot of research into possible social triggers which can cause APD (antisocial personality disorder), and yeah that’s where some of this stuff stemmed from. So don’t think i’m trying to sympathise with him by giving him an edgy backstory or anything. I just think it’s fun to take a character and flesh them out as if they were like a real person.

First of all, he didn’t forget to mention his mother. He just would rather die than think about her long enough to write a paragraph on her. She wasn’t neglectful per-se, but HEAVILY favoured Cordelia to the point that ghetsis felt quite unloved during his childhood. He hated his mother since he always worked hard and excelled in school to try and impress her, but his achievements were overshadowed by Cordelia’s like. existence.

He doesn’t remember shit about his father since he was so absent, which yeah lead to him viewing Favian as a kind of father figure.

AND ABOUT FAVIAN. The incident >:). For background, I recon Ghetsis was always a piece of shit toward his pokémon. His first pokémon was a Deino he hatched himself, and he took out his anger on it a lot. Overworking and abusing it. Deino is an uncommon pokémon, so even after he hatched it his mother didn’t really care, and my guy was PISSED.

Anyways, after he returned from Kalos, his Deino still hadn’t evolved and it was really annoying him. Favian offered to help train it, and here’s where it gets juicy. After a month of intense training with seemingly no progress, ghetsis got MAD. He was so pissed at everything, but Favian was all “hey man how about we battle to see how far Deino has come :)” so yeah. they did that.

Surprisingly, Ghetsis and Dieno won the battle. But Deino was so worked up, so sore and so angry, it attacked Favian, and ignored Ghetsis when he instructed it to stop. He tried to save his brother by attempting to pull the pokémon off of him, and that’s when he lost his eye and sustained the injury to his face. Long story short, Favian was dead long before anyone could calm Deino.

After that, Ghetsis was so very disowned. The only time he saw his family was at his Mother’s funeral, he never attended his Father’s. Everyone, including himself, blamed him for Favian’s death, and for some reason, he didn’t surrender the Deino which killed his brother. After the initial shock left, he recognised the power the pokémon held with its anger, and was determined to harness it. So yeah, it eventually became his Hydreigon.

He loved his brother a lot, and still lives with the guilt. Not only because it was his pokémon who killed him, but also because he wasn’t strong enough to literally wrestle Deino away. Which is dumb there are very very few people who could do that but we all know how much this guy loves to think he’s so strong and perfect.

I don’t blame the Deino for its actions really. It acted kind of the same way those captive orcas who killed their trainers did.

I do have more stuff about his family and general life leading up to BW, so idk if you’re interested send me an anon or something and I can try to get it out of my head and down on ‘paper’. Also I haven’t proof read this Injust typed it all out real fast so sorry about that.

[roboraindrop]

More thoughts about lore for my s/i for Chucky under the cut! Dark and potentially triggering topics discussed within, check the tags!

--

SO my thought is that Chucky and I ended up in the same home together as teens. We become fast friends bc we both have to mask for others and it's exhausting.

We get talking one night about why we're there. He's there bc obviously he killed his mom. But,, I'm also there for attacking a family member; My dad. My story is a bit different from his though-

I tell him about how my dad was abusive towards me and my mother, and one day I snapped and couldn't take it anymore, attacking him. After that, my mother couldn't handle having custody of me because I needed "too much help" as an autistic child pushed too far. So I was given away as a ward of the state. No foster family would take me because I was labeled as having a violent past. Despite showing me multiple kills and grotesque things, the only time Chucky ever saw me express fear was talking about what my father did... So he decides to take matters into his own hands.

Anyways long story short he tracks down my father and brings him to me, where I get to make the killing blow, as a treat <3

Our friendship lasts as we grow up, even when he gets with Tiffany. I'm a close friend to both of them, but my true loyalty lies with Chucky. So I never told Tiff about Sarah, whether or not she already knew. Once the cops get called and Chucky gets shot, she and I both think that he's dead and mourn him together.

During this time, I end up in a bad relationship where the guy is just like my father. I've lost all passion for fighting back, so I'm resigned. When a Good Guy doll shows up at my door with the voice and spirit of my dead best friend, he notices how rough I look, and asks what happened.... Only to go barbie mode when my partner shows up. After witnessing the abuse, he quickly decides that the guy has to die, and takes care of him for me, asking when I'm gonna learn to stand up for myself. He's only half joking as he pockets the knife in his overalls and catches me up to speed on everything he's had going on. He asks what I'm doing with a jerk like that, and when I tell him my fight died when he did, that kinda softens him up a bit. He didn't expect anyone to care about his death, except maybe Tiff, but with their last interaction being a fight, and her being the one to call the cops on him, he couldn't count on her. He knew he could always count on me, though. And maybe that's where the obsession takes hold, when he realizes that my feelings are genuine, and he's never had that before. And he wants more of it. More than Sarah could give him, and more than Tiffany already had. He becomes a little obsessive over me at that point, but I'm not used to being wanted in any sense of the word, so I just soak it in rkndslsn

Eventually, it gets to the point where we're working together on kills like he and Tiff used to, with him sort of training me. He knew I had it in me all those years ago when I had no qualms about his kills and no trouble delivering the final blow to my father, and he helped me kindle that flame.

After a while we end up finding and customizing a doll for me to inhibit, so that we can stay together and it won't be weird dkshsj

[meetmypointlessaddiction]

So It's Gonna Be Forever

Summary: Joel Miller and Emily Harper have been best friends since 2nd grade and at the end of freshman year become something more. Will they last or will their new label ruin it all. OR Joel Miller gets some lovin' because god knows he deserves it.

Chapter 4

Warnings: Mentions of rough childhood and some violence between father and son. Mentions and allusions to smut but never actually turns into smut.

I understand that this might not be everyone's cup of tea so if it's not for you, just don't read.

If there's anything that is possibly triggering that I haven't mentioned in the warnings please let me know as this is not beta'd and it is very possible that I've missed something.

Warnings🏷: The aftermath of the fight between Joel and his dad so there is still the tags of abusive relationship and violence.

Series Masterlist

Wordcount: 2072 words

Joel had been taken back to the Harper’s place, laid out on the couch with a damp cloth on his forehead and a bandage around his knuckles. “What happened?” Emily asked, her boyfriend’s head in her lap as stroked back the sweaty hair from his forehead. 

“We had gone over to speak to him about Joel moving out, about possibly taking Tommy with him or Tommy coming to live with us until he was old enough to live on his own. He didn’t like the idea of having to care for himself and Joel came in just as he was insulting their mother and Tommy. Sure looked like he’d been holding it in for a while.” The boys' Aunt revealed and Emily and Carol nodded, Jerry finishing cleaning and bandaging Joel’s other hand. 

“He’s always been protective.” Their grandma, Louise, commented. “I remember when he first told my husband, Raymond, about Richard being a little violent towards my Maria. He swore he’d never let him hurt Tommy or his mother. Of course, Joel isn’t one for violence unless he’s sticking up for someone.” She clarified and Tommy spoke up. 

“He never told me that dad used to hit mom. Did he hit Joel too? Is that why he never left me with him?” Tommy asked quietly from where he had been sitting in the corner of the room and Carol nodded. 

“We don’t know for sure if he’s ever hit Joel but we know that he could get a little violent with your mother which is why we always offered the three of you a place here or to call a lawyer for a divorce but your mother refused to split up the family.” Tommy frowned and looked at Joel who was still out like a light. “Don’t take it too hard, Tommy. Joel always wanted to protect you, that’s all that ever mattered to him.” Tommy nodded slightly and Joel groaned, trying to push himself up from the couch but Emily held his head still while Jerry put a gentle hand on his chest.

“Lay down, cowboy.” 

“Easy, bud. Take it easy.” Joel just looked around and noticed the look on Tommy’s face and his eyes glossed over and his face turned stern. 

“Where is he? What did he do to you? I-.” 

“He ain’t done nothin’ to Tommy, he ain’t been near him.” Emily assured and Joel relaxed. “Just worried about you is all. We all are.” She added and Joel just scoffed. 

“Should have let me kill him.” Joel spoke, directing it at Jerry who just smirked. 

“How the hell are you meant to provide for my daughter if you’re behind bars, huh?” Joel just smiled and let Emily dab at his face with the cloth. “Come on, I’ll help you up, don’t want you passing out again.” 

Once Joel was sat up, his head settled against the back of the couch, he looked between Louise and Laura. “You think he’ll let me leave now?” He tried, a tired grin coming across his face and his grandma smiled.

“I think he didn’t care anyway but now you’ve solidified your freedom.” She said with a glint in her eye and Tommy chuckled. Joel looked at Emily and smiled. 

“Sorry ‘bout runnin’ out on ya earlier. And thank you for keepin’ Tommy out of the way.” Emily smiled and kissed his cheek. 

“More than happy to babysit Tarzan while you beat someone up.” She replied and Tommy rolled his eyes. 

“I don’ need a babysitter, your highness.” Joel just scoffed and chuckled.

“Tommy, I ran ‘round the corner to pick up a loaf of bread and when I came back you’d tried and failed to make yourself food and were convinced that sticking a fork in a toaster to get out your bread was safe. I ain’t leavin’ you unattended.” Tommy just sulked and Laura ruffled his hair. 

“We’ll have to put a bow or somethin’ in this. Your mama would have had a field day tryin’ out different hairstyles on you. She always wanted a girl. Woulda called her-.” 

“Sarah.” Tommy and Joel finished for her and they smiled. 

“Joel, can I ask you somethin’?” Jerry asked and Joel nodded. “We knew your dad wasn’t the nicest to your ma and Tommy has said that he ain’t never hurt him but-.” 

“A few times. He never managed to do me any real harm though. The first time it happened, he’d thrown a football or somethin’ at my head and he busted my lip. The only time it was ever worse than a little bruise was just before ma passed. You remember when Tommy broke his wrist after he fell off his friends bike?” Joel asked and he got a few nods. “He was pissed, was threatenin’ to hurt Tommy because he was havin’ to work a little extra because he was tryin’ to pay off two hospital bills and was gonna have it out with Tommy and his friend for goin’ on the bike. I told him that it wasn’t Tommy’s fault and that I’d pushed him off because he had broken the chain on my bike or somethin’ stupid like that. He roughed me up a little and when mama found out, it took me a while to convince her not to say anythin’ to him but she eventually agreed that it would only do more harm.” Joel explained, looking to Tommy. 

“I promised ma I wasn’t gonna let him hurt you like he hurt her and I ain’t gonna stop doin’ that just because she’s not here anymore.” Joel said and Tommy nodded, Emily squeezing Joel’s bicep. 

“Well, I doubt he’ll be chasing after either of you so, Joel, the house is yours as soon as the lawyer gets down to signing it over and, Tommy, you can stay with Joel or come and stay with us and we’ll take you to Joel’s whenever you feel like it, ok?” The boys nodded and Laura stood. 

“We’re gonna head back home, let you rest up some Joel or you can come with us if you want.” She said and Joel shook his head. 

“I promised Em I’d revise but Tommy has nowhere to be tomorrow, if you wanna go?” Joel looked to Tommy who just froze, never being that far away from Joel. 

“Hey, we’ll bring you right back here tomorrow, ok? Or, we could go to your dad’s and get some clothes for you both and you could stay with us for a while, until Joel has the house.” Tommy nodded and Joel smiled, both boys happy with that plan. 

“He’ll already be out of the house and out with his fishin’ buddies so we can go now. We’ll pack all our stuff up and I’ll leave my stuff here until I come tomorrow and Tommy can go ahead and get set up.” Joel pointed out and Laura and Louise just nodded, Tommy standing while Emily helped Joel get to his feet, wary of him going light headed again. “I’ll come back, if that’s ok?” Joel asked and Jerry nodded. 

“You know you’re more than welcome here, kid. Go on, get your stuff together and we’ll have some food ready for when you get back.” Joel grabbed his house key from off of the kitchen counter and walked slowly towards the car out front, climbing in the back with Tommy. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind us stayin’ with you, grandma? We don’t wanna-.” 

“Your father stopped me from seein’ you boys for over 2 years. I am more than happy to take you in and make up for what I’ve missed out on. Including the girlfriend.” She teased and Joel chuckled, Tommy nudging him gently. 

Joel dug through the storage cupboard next to his bedroom and found a few cardboard boxes that he and Tommy could throw their things in. “I’ll go help Tommy and Aunt Laura will come help you out. The sooner we’re out of here the better.” Louise said and the boys nodded, leading their assigned partner to their room. 

“Didn’t expect it to be so tidy.” Laura gasped and Joel shrugged. 

“I’m never here. I come home from school, tidy up a little and then head round to the Harpers’ house. I ain’t never got no reason to be here, ‘specially when he’s home.” Joel had always been close with Laura, his fortnightly visits meant he often bumped into her and she would always sneak him the candy and chocolate that his mother had said he couldn’t have. She was the one to sneak him his first beer. 

“So, you and Emily…” Laura started and Joel turned away from his clothes, smirking slightly. 

“What about it?” He asked and she shrugged. 

“Talk to me. Fill me in.” 

“Well, I asked her out at the end of freshman year and we kept it a secret for as long as we could. Ma knew after about a year when she saw us sneakin’ out the back door, so her letter said, Carol found out after I snook out of Em’s window a year after ma died, Tommy found out a few months ago when he came home early and saw us all bare ass and put the pieces together himself.” Joel explained and Laura smirked. 

“What’d her dad have to say? How’d he find out?” Joel gulped and threw the rest of his clothes into the box, coming to the conclusion that whatever didn’t fit him, Tommy could have or he’d donate his shirts to Emily, before he began packing photos and books and some memorabilia into another box. 

“I had somewhat of a mental breakdown a little while back after I’d been arguing with dad. I went down the road and he answered the door while I was cryin’ and red eyed. Let me in and when Em saw me, it’s like she didn’t care ‘bout keepin’ it a secret anymore. She was more than happy for him to know that I was just the kid she’d known since we were 7. The next morning, I managed to catch him before he went to work and we talked. Told me that he was more than happy about me datin’ his daughter but wouldn’t hesitate to end me if I hurt her, somethin’ along those lines. They’ve done a lot for me, all three of them and they don’t mind Tommy hangin’ around as well. Jerry offered me a job at the company he’s high up in so, soon as I leave school, I’ll be workin’ on the building sites with him.” Joel finished and Laura smiled. 

“Sounds like you’re well and truly in, huh? So, Tommy caught you butt naked then. Why exactly was she naked in your bed, Joel Miller?” Laura teased and Joel just shook his head, taping up the three boxes that held all of things and gave her a look. 

“Hey, I’m not stupid. We’re not tryin’ to end up with a mini us around anytime soon so you can skip the talk you were planning. I’ve already got it, multiple times from Carol and Jerry and a box of condoms ends up in the mailbox every other month so I think I’m set for a while.” Joel smiled sarcastically and Laura cackled, taking the box that Joel had left on the floor and following him out of the room.

“Ready to go?” They nodded and Joel helped load his and Tommy’s boxes into the trunk of the car before looking at the house and running back in. He lifted up his mattress and found what he was looking for, pulling out the two extra boxes and the duffel bag containing some of his mothers things that he managed to hide before his dad could sell them. 

“Where the hell did you pull those from?” Louise asked and Joel shrugged. 

“I’ll show you tomorrow because I think there’s some of it that would be better in your hands.” Joel muttered and she nodded, starting the engine as Joel climbed into the car. 

“We'll take your boxes back to the house and put them in your room for you, you can set it up how you want when you arrive tomorrow. Just means less worrying about getting it all in the car again tomorrow.” Laura explained and Joel nodded, saying goodbye and squeezing Tommy’s shoulder before heading back towards the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't forget to like and reblog if you enjoyed!

[fluffypotatey]

God, watched "Sins of the Father" last night and I. Just. Love. How the writers were like, "Ah, yes, let's finish out this episode with the most violent upheaval of Arthur's relationship with Uther. There is no need to mention this again."

Like, yeah, I get it, Merlin lied and stopped Arthur from killing King Cunt, but STILL. It happened. Arthur and Uther have had disagreements before, but those were small potatoes. Arthur challenged his father, the King, to a fight to the death. He was actively trying to kill his father. And that....had no effect on him? Or Uther?

Arthur doesn't always agree with Uther, and he does disobey him when he has to, but I don't think he ever would imagine himself capable of hurting his father, let alone killing him.

And Uther, being the manipulative, abusive piece of shit he is, was probably 100% certain Arthur would never turn on him, the same way any abusive parent is confident in their power over their victim.

But it happened.

And that's just........not important?

bestie.....are you sure you want to open that can of worms with me

------

NO BECAUSE LISTEN I HAVE TOO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THIS

imma holler @nextstopparis because they have bombass posts and meta about exactly this

anyway

yes bestie so true, we have seen in s1 and s2 that arthur is capable of having a little rebellious streak but not enough to truly slight his father because (despite his shitty and abusive uther is) arthur still loves him. arthur has craved uther's approval since day one. all he gets from uther is stunted shoulder pats and "you're my son" kind of affection. which, you know, explains SO MUCH about why arthur is emotionally constipated, compensates his emotions into hyper-masculinity, and a grade A jock.

we know arthur seeks uther's approval and just wants uther to be proud of him. motherfucker (uther) literally in episode 2 of s1 "stops by Arthur on his way to the stands and speaks to him in a low voice" about he "trust [Arthur] will make [him] proud" like bitch???? way to stress out your child.

tips on how to emotionally abuse/keep your child wanting you love

always makes sure you pressure them into making you proud

place conditions on your love (trust = love = pride for son = no longer disappointed = no longer sees arthur as the cause of ygraine's death oop did i type that)

move them away and speak in a low threatening voice because self image matters and your child would never risk that

undermine your child's worth to exterior factors, aka things your child never had a say in (being a captain/high ranking knight at 15, being the son of your dead wife, telling them to grow up when they literally are acting their age)

enforcing patriarcal ideals such as only encouraging stoicism for arthur because feelings are for weaklings and dismissing morgana's opinions for 'outbursts'

howdy folks! welcome to the uther sucks club and why the hell did bbc just ignore arthur's very understandable anger towards uther in s2 ep8

we will not touch arthur's self loathing blame for his mother's death because i will derail from this post

what happened in s2 ep8???? i'm so glad you asked

it is revealed that uther pendragon's reason for committing genocide for over 20 years boils down to a highly dangerous spell that he forced the high priestess nimueh to cast on his wife (who wasn't aware of the spell in the first place) so she could become pregnant and grant him an heir.

uther, the caricature of the british empire himself, caused the death of his queen then turned around and blamed a whole community of innocent people because "magic is evil and shouldn't be trusted" and "when you know one sorcerer, you know them all"

arthur, daddy issues galore, is understandably pissed and enraged. why, you ask? because for years he believed it was his birth that led to his mother's death

ARTHUR I'm so sorry. YGRAINE You have nothing to be sorry for. ARTHUR It was my birth that caused you to die.

ok so we are actually gonna discuss this

FOR 20 YEARS THIS MAN BELIEVED HIS FATHER'S GRIEF WAS HIS FAULT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT

UTHER NEVER CORRECTED HIM! UTHER NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO CONTRADICT ARTHUR'S INTERNAL STRUGGLE!

WHY YOU ASK????

BECAUSE THEN ARTHUR WOULD STAY LOYAL TO HIM, BECAUSE THEN ARTHUR WOULD DO EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO PROVE THAT HE COULD 'right this old wrong' EVEN THO IT WAS NEVER HIS FAULT!

ahem

and then arthur learns the truth. arthur learns that ygraine's death was never his fault. ygraine's death was all because uther pendragon "was so desperate for an heir". that was all uther cared about.

ARTHUR This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them.

ARTHUR How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?

ARTHUR You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

do you think....after arthur learned the truth, he remembered all of morgana's old arguments that went ignored by uther? he could hear her voice, filled with self-righteousness and selfless anger about how uther always placed the blame on others, projected fear and hatred to those who were innocent. do you wonder if arthur thought of morgana as he spewed those words to uther?

and then he is told that morgause lied to him. that the ygraine he saw was actually an illusion meant to divide camelot. arthur is told that the ygraine he saw who told him that holding him was "the most precious" moments of her life was nothing more than a lie.

so, what does mean for arthur? does that mean that it truly was his fault that ygraine died? does he go back to blaming himself?

or

is there still that doubt of his father's ruling that lays restless inside of him? does he watch his father more closely and how he reacts to magic crimes compared to non-magical? does he begin to confide in morgana more because she, too, understand this kind of anger he feels nestled inside of him?

but we don't get that

what we get after this is a week or maybe more of a time skip where gwen is kidnapped and the show tries to further the arwencelot love triangle (and i mean, i'm not against the love triangle, it's just...timing my dude)

it just goes ignored by the show like it wasn't a big deal that arthur was ready to commit regicide (unlike morgana), like it wasn't a big deal that merlin lied to arthur like that and didn't feel conflicted, like it wasn't a big deal that uther's Purge began because of misplaced anger.

no, instead, arthur is back as his snarky and uptight self who never again thinks back to what happened when some big plot is heading his way. and so the show never dives back into that. mentions of arthur's mother don't come back until s4 but that's with agravaine and i do not have the time for that man.

this episode really seemed like it was supposed to lead to a shift in arthur's character, and yet it didn't. it was just...never touched on again and i will never forgive them for that

[queeranesearch]

So recently people have been talking about a post that claims that Azula is a pacifist, which is certainly...a take, that I want to counter. 

[ID: A tumblr post reading “there’s a very compelling argument to be made that, after aang, azula is the most pacifistic/anti-violence character in the whole show. but no one wants to hear me back on my bullshit so i’m just gonna leave this here.]

Before we start, I would like to preface that this is not me attacking them, or wishing any hate towards them; I just think it’s important for this topic to be discussed, and for white atla fans to acknowledge how comparing Aang and Azula in this way is wrong.

First off, let’s start with the bold claim that Azula has a kill count of zero. Now, the show itself seems to tell us that Azula kills Aang when she shoots him with lightning; Katara was literally cradling his unresponsive body, and later in ‘The Awakening’, Aang says  “I didn’t just get hurt, did I? It was worse than that. I was gone.” So, it’s safe to say that Aang was dead, or at least the brink of death before Katara used the spirit water on him. Even if you wanted to argue that Aang didn’t die, but was just close to death, it’s very clear that Azula shot him with the intent to kill him. Not a very pacifistic move. 

Second off, the god awful take that the Ba Sing Se coup wasn’t violent. She colonized that city. Azula is actively upholds imperialistic views that are inherently violent; the entire Earth Kingdom was subjected to violence from the Fire Nation, and Azula perpetuated that by seizing Ba Sing Se in the name of her father, stating herself that she believes the Fire Nation has the “divine right to rule”, and that she was “born” with this right. In case you haven’t got the message: The idea that one group of people is superior to another, and has the right to rule over them, is violent and actively harms people.

Then there’s the argument that Azula’s non-violent because she didn’t order for Mai and Ty Lee to be executed for treason at Boiling Rock, but instead has them thrown in prison. Firstly, we can see that Azula was preparing to shoot Mai with lightning; even if not with intent to kill, definitely with the intent to harm. Secondly, having Mai and Ty Lee thrown into prison to- and I quote- “rot”, is again wishing harm on them.

Additionally, the “friendship” between the three is debatable. Perhaps when they were younger their relationship was different, but as we see them in the show, it’s certainly not a friendship; or at least, not a healthy one. Ty Lee didn’t want to join Azula, but was threatened into doing so; if Mai didn’t comply, she would have been threatened too. Both Mai and Azula state that their relationship is built off fear, not love. Although I think that Azula on some level would call Mai and Ty Lee friends, she clearly has a warped idea of what friendship should be like; even Azula’s hallucination of Ursa states that she “used fear to control people, like [her] friends Mai and Ty Lee”, showing again that Azula is conscious of her power over others. Even if she doesn’t “like” violence, she uses it to her advantage. 

Which leads me to my next counter argument; Azula is not conflict-avoidant. Quite the opposite, she uses it to her advantage; saying that Zuko killed the Avatar when it was her is not avoiding conflict; getting with a one on one fight with Zuko to capture Aang is not avoiding conflict. She had a hunch that Aang survived and therefore let Zuko take the ‘glory’ so she would be spared the punishment; she engaged in a fight with Zuko because she wanted Aang. She only fled when she was outnumbered. She doesn’t agree to have an agni kai with Zuko in Ba Sing Se because she gains nothing from doing so. Azula takes into account the pros and cons of engaging with others; just because she doesn’t mindlessly use violence doesn’t mean she’s somehow a pacifist. Really, Azula’s trauma response is to try and gain as much control as possible, because she was raised in an environment that encouraged power and punished ‘weakness’. (Side Note: it should also be mentioned that whilst she doesn’t always use physical violence, she most certainly uses emotional and mental violence, particularly against Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee.)

Thirdly, I want to address the franky horrible take that Aang’s pacifism is childish. Apparently since people need a reminder; Aang is a survivor of genocide. He’s not a pacifist because violence “makes him uncomfortable”, he’s a pacifist because pacifism is an integral part of his culture; the Air Nomads were deeply in touch with the spiritual world and so they saw all life as sacred. Aang carries the grief of a civilisation lost; he’s the only one left to carry on its culture; submitting to murder would literally mean abandoning the Air Nomad way of life and therefore, letting the Fire Nation complete that cultural genocide. It’s baffling and quite frankly abhorent to even try and compare Azula, the daughter of the imperialist, colonizing nation, to Aang, the sole surviver of genocide from the hands of said nation. ( @herglowinggirl​ has made a good post about this here)

The imperial system of the Fire Nation is what caused Azula’s trauma (Ozai instilled abusive behaviours in her, as he was by his father, etc etc). It is only when after achieving the goal she’s been groomed to achieve from the start, does she realise that she is left alone with nothing but these manipulative, violent behaviors. With quite literally nothing else to lose, no reason to be pragmatic, she engages in the final agni kai. 

Tl;dr: Azula is not pacificistic or anti-violence, she is smart about when she uses it, and repeatedly uses it against friends and family. It’s only when she has nothing else to lose does she get careless with it.

[heyyyharry]

Deep End - Chapter 12: Dirty Dreams

…in which Harry and Ezi kiss again…and again…and again… (THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT)

Word count: 4.6k

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Wattpad link

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Harry didn’t understand dreams. How did dreams even work? Because sometimes he would see someone he hadn’t seen in years in his dreams, even though he had completely forgotten about the person’s existence up to that point. Then there were these super violent and bloody dreams that woke him in the middle of the night in cold sweats. Then, there were some other more inappropriate dreams that made him so disappointed when the alarm rang.

Listen, Harry wasn’t a pervert. He didn’t think about sex 24/7; well, not usually. But lately, he’d been having dirty dreams more often than he would enjoy. He would wake up with his dick rock hard and end up late for work because he had to stroke one out in the shower. And he blamed it on…

“Ezi! Where are your pants? And why are you wearing my shirt?”

Ezi stopped in the kitchen doorway with a bowl of ice cream in one hand, the other holding a spoon in her mouth. “This is my new ‘at home’ look,” she said, while leaning against the door in nothing but his button-up shirt that fell just past her bum. As if the sight wasn’t torturing enough, she had to be licking ice cream from the fucking spoon. It was eight in the fucking morning! And Harry would not go back to the bathroom to wank again.

“But where are your shirts? Why don’t you wear them?” he asked and slipped past her into the kitchen. He would make himself a cup of coffee so he wouldn’t have to watch her being effortlessly sexy in the kitchen doorway.

“They said on the internet that you should borrow your boyfriend’s shirt, and you’re my fake boyfriend.”

“Fair enough,” Harry chuckled.

She gave him a shy smile and left without saying another word. That was the longest conversation they’d had since that night she went out on a date with Dawson. Ezi was always a little bit weird. Okay, well, very��weird. But her weirdness had been different lately, in a bad way. She was still doing weird things, but keeping a distance from him.

Harry knew he couldn’t really complain, since he’d specifically told her to her face that he preferred it when it was just him and the cat. Having his own space had been nice for a day or two, then he’d started missing how annoying she’d been. And of course, he blamed this all on Dawson.

Harry had been second to Dawson his whole life. Ever since he’d been a kid and found out that he’d had a cousin, Dawson had been nothing but a burden for Harry. Harry was the only child, but to his parents, Dawson had been their favourite son. His father used to love sports, but Harry had never been a fan of those. Dawson, on the other hand, had been the captain of the school’s football team and was excellent at marathons as well. So if Harry’s father was still alive, Dawson would be the one making him proud by taking over the family business Harry didn’t want.

Now, just as Harry had finally gained his own spotlight as a singer, becoming great at something Dawson wasn’t good at, Dawson swept in and stole Ezi.

Harry had spent a lot of time wondering why it had mattered so much to him that Ezi had gone on one date with his cousin. He didn’t even like her like that, and the house was always peaceful without her, which he enjoyed very much. But why did the idea of her becoming something with Dawson bother him so much? He hadn’t been sleeping well for the last couple of days. Not to mention that Ezi had started keeping distance from him. Well, he’d done it first because of the kiss, but it was weird when she did it because she had always been so fucking clingy. And he’d hated that. Until now!

Ding dong!

“What do you want?” Harry asked in the least annoyed tone he could pull off, while fighting the urge to slam the door in Dawson’s good-looking face.

“Is Ezi home?” Dawson asked.

“Ezi? You mean Ezili? Because I’m the only one who calls her Ezi.”

“Y-Yeah, Ezili,” Dawson said with an awkward smile. This guy was a tool. What did Ezi see in him?

“No, she’s at work,” Harry said, and quickly added, “but don’t think about going there. They’re having a book club meeting; she’d be mad if you showed up and distracted her.”

That was a lie. Harry didn’t even know if people actually hosted book club meetings at random book shops, but did it matter? If he was going to be petty, he must go all the way.

“What do you wanna meet her for?” he asked before Dawson could leave. He didn’t want to have a long conversation with Dawson about Ezi, but it was the only way to learn more about their date. “Did you do something that you wanna apologise for?”

“No. Of course not,” Dawson chuckled and adjusted his glasses. “She bought some books and forgot them in my car.”

“I could give them to her when she gets back from work,” Harry said.

Dawson looked hesitant. “Well, she told me not to give them to you.”

“Oh.” Harry kept a straight face, but he was very offended that she’d made that request. Did she really hate him so much for what he’d said that night?

“So,” he ventured, averting his eyes. “Guess the date went well?”

“I suppose,” Dawson said.

Harry had hoped for a different response. This one didn’t really hurt him but it didn’t make him happy, either. He cleared his throat and straightened his back. “So are you looking forward to the second date?”

“I don’t think there’s gonna be one,” Dawson said, to Harry’s surprise. “I don’t think she likes me like that?”

Okay, this was the response Harry had been waiting for. He tried to suppress a grin as he patted his cousin’s shoulder sympathetically, while he was far from sympathetic. “Oh, don’t be so pessimistic. I know she’s a bit out of your league, but dare to dream a little.”

“Very funny,” Dawson snorted and brushed off Harry’s hand. “But I think she has a crush on you.”

“Really? I mean, no!” Harry faked a laugh, crossing his arm and leaning against the door in an unnatural pose. “No way.” Now he sounded like a commercial guy who had never attended a single acting class. “She doesn’t...she doesn’t have a crush on me,” he stuttered. “W-Why do you think so?”

Dawson pressed his lips into an understanding smile that made Harry’s face grow red. “All she talked about for the entire night was you.”

Harry thought Dawson was just teasing him at first. Then he remembered that this was Dawson, not him. So it was true. Ezi had talked about him for the whole night when she was with Dawson.

“What did she say?” Harry asked, trying to seem more curious than excited.

“She told me you were a good cook, and then complained about your bad habits. Then it was all ‘Harry said that’ and ‘Harry said this’. It seemed like she was really into you.”

“Oh, wow.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Harry shrugged, trying to act cool and all that. “I’m just surprised. I thought she hated me.”

“I mean, she can still hate you if she has a crush on you,” said Dawson. “Also, why is she staying with you? Where’s her family?”

Harry shifted uncomfortably. “Why didn’t you ask her?”

“She kept mentioning her mother but nothing more than that, and she’d just change the subject whenever I tried to ask.”

Harry didn’t have enough time to think of a lie, so he blurted, “Her family was abusive.”

Dawson looked horrified, but he completely bought that. “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” he said. “She’s a lovely girl, though. I know that you don’t like her, but don’t break her heart. Turn her down nicely.”

Harry blinked. “What?”

“You don’t like Ezili, right?” Dawson asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Harry laughed, uneasily. “I mean no, I don’t.”

“Yeah, I know you don’t wanna be in a relationship.”

Harry didn’t want to be in a relationship, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel things. He guessed most people would just assume he had no heart because it was easier for them to make sense of why he wouldn’t settle down. In reality it was more complicated than that. He had had feelings for some people in the past, and he’d shut them down before he got to the point of no return. Ezi might be a dangerous creature, but he’d probably hurt more people than she had, mostly himself.

So did he like Ezi? Yes. He’d just realised that when his heart blossomed to the thought of her thinking about him on a date with his cousin. There was no denying that, as he only felt this way about his own songs. But was he happy about it? Well, yeah, of course he was happy about it. He was over the moon even. Still, that didn’t mean he should do something about it. He would just keep it to himself and wait–No, hope for it to pass.

Later that night, when Ezi came home from work, she went straight into the kitchen to eat from the fridge, and Harry came downstairs to find her sitting on the floor, munching off a sandwich in the fridge light glow. He watched her for a moment from the door before deciding to break the silence.

She flinched when hearing her name. She turned around, sandwich still in her mouth. “Did Dawson stop by?” she asked. “He said he would bring me my books.”

“Yeah, he did. I put them in your room,” Harry said, trying his best not to roll his eyes at the mention of his cousin. But then he remembered what Dawson had told him and came to sit beside her on the floor.

She ignored him and continued eating. She looked nothing like someone who had a crush on him, so what if Dawson had lied to him? He had never heard a lie from Dawson, but it didn’t mean Dawson was incapable of lying.

“Ezi, I wanna ask you something,” he said.

She finished her sandwich and reached into the fridge of ice cream. “Go ahead,” she said.

Harry started fidgeting with his shirt. “Why won’t you tell me about that date with Dawson?”

Ezi didn’t look at him as she said, “Do I have to tell you? It was personal.”

“Well, your sister was there,” he reasoned, “and she’s tried to kill me several times so I think I deserve to know some details about that night.”

Yes, Harry was curious about Ezi’s sister as well, but was it bad to say that he wanted to know more about what Ezi thought of him? Was it bad that Ezi’s feelings for him mattered more than his stupid life?

“My sister wasn’t there the whole time,” Ezi sighed and dipped her spoon into the ice cream. “I got rid of her at the fair then went for dinner with Dawson.”

“Oh,” Harry said, watching her intently as she ate. “So—”

“My sister wanted me to go back home.”

Harry froze. “Why?” he blurted, suddenly anxious. “I mean…does your mother want you back? Not that I think she won’t ever want you back—”

“No.” Ezi rolled her eyes. “My sister wants me to go back in return of the throne, so she can be Queen and allow me back into the Queendom.”

“But you wanna Queen?”

“I’m going to be Queen!” Ezi snapped. Seeing the shocked look on Harry’s face, she softened her voice, “I’m the firstborn. I’m going to be Queen. I have a year to…” Her voice trailed off and she spaced out for a second.

“To what?”

Ezi pressed her lips into a tight smile then said, “To stay here. My sister told me that my mother would take me back in a year.”

“That’s the punishment?” Harry chuckled. “Make you stay in this world where a handsome man takes care of you and buys you stuff?” Maybe siren mums weren’t as bad as he’d thought.

“And also bullies me 24/7,” Ezi said.

“Hey!” Harry put up his hands. “You bully me, too.”

“You literally told me you didn’t want to see me around the house.”

“Yeah, well, I like seeing you around the house now.”

“Liar,” Ezi said and took a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Harry tried not to pay attention to the way she licked the spoon or think about licking ice cream from her lips, but he knew he was going to see a lot of that in his dreams tonight.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Ezi held his gaze for two seconds, squinting her eyes. “Fine,” she said at last. “I forgive you.”

“Well, that was easy.”

“For now,” she added, putting the ice cream back into the fridge. “I’ll hate you again when I’m hungry.”

“You’re hungry eighty percent of the time!”

“Yeah.”

Harry chuckled as he watched her amber to the kitchen door. Clenching his fingers, he asked, “When’s your birthday?”

Ezi turned her head. “March 12. Why?”

“So I can say happy birthday to you on March 12.”

“Oh, thanks. Not looking forward to it, though.”

“Also,” Harry said fast before she left. “Do you wanna go to a party with me?”

.

.

.

Niall had just reached one million followers on TikTok, so he’d thrown a huge party at his mansion and invited his friends who had brought their friends and their friends’ friends. So the most influential people in the entertainment industry were at the party tonight.

Jeff had suggested that Harry bring Ezi so they could do some PDA stuff at the party to make headlines for the next few days. At first, Harry had planned to make up some excuses so he could go alone.

He and Ezi hadn’t kissed since that day in his mother’s closet. Well, actually, they had had a few pecks on the lips in public, but it’d only been for the paparazzi. It was hard to think about romance when there were at least ten cameras pointing at you.

Their first kiss, however, had been real and…hot. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about it. He didn’t know how Ezi felt since she never talked about it, but he had the impression that she had enjoyed it as much as he had. He couldn’t stop thinking about her flushed cheeks and plum lips as she pulled back, confused yet wanting more. In his dreams last night, they had been in that closet, but their clothes had been discarded, and he’d been pounding her against the wall. It was so hot. He’d had to wank twice when he woke up and he couldn’t make eye contact with Ezi in the kitchen during breakfast. Now he couldn’t get those images out of his mind.

“Harry.”

Harry jumped when his name was called. Ezi gave him a questioning look. She was wearing a little pink strap dress and her hair was in a high bun. She looked so cute tonight; his stylist had done a great job.

“You okay?” she asked, slipping her fingers into his. He knew it didn’t mean anything and she was only doing what Jeff had told her to. But he couldn’t stop the butterflies in his stomach from acting up. “It seemed like your soul left your body for a second.”

“Sorry, this loud music gives me a headache,” he said and finished his glass of wine. Ezi didn’t drink. “You wanna dance?”

Her gaze shot up in surprise. “Do you wanna dance?”

“What do you mean? I’m a fantastic dance partner.”

“But I’ve never danced before. I just got these legs a few weeks ago.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ll be good at it, I’m sure. We’ll wait for a slow song.”

Niall walked by just in time to overhear the conversation, so he shouted, “Slow song for my besties Harry and Ezili!”

Harry tried to stop Niall, but it was too late. Everyone in Niall’s living room was staring at him and Ezi. Jeff would be happy about this, but Harry didn’t think Ezi was. Her fingers tightened around his as she stepped closer, apparently uncomfortable with the intrusive glances they were receiving.

“Come on,” he said, pulling her close. “We’ll show them how great we are.”

“But I’m not—”

He didn’t let her finish and drag her out on the dance floor. There were a few couples slow-dancing around them, but Harry knew he and Ezi were the attention of tonight. In these people’s eyes, they were in love, completely infatuated with each other.

“Follow my lead,” he whispered in Ezi's ear while fixing her posture. “It’s easy.”

For a human who had been to too many of these dances, it was. But Ezi was barely good at walking. And so she ended up stepping on his feet repeatedly. The giggles of some women in the room made her even more anxious, so she almost stopped. But he reassured her by pulling her closer and lifting her chin so she was looking at him instead of them.

“Don’t be nervous. This is your little mermaid moment. Embrace it,” he said, making her smile.

“Ariel was a terrible dancer.”

“True. But she looked pretty stepping on the Prince’s feet.”

Ezi arched an eyebrow, amused. “Are you calling yourself the Prince?”

“I almost got casted for the role of Eric, by the way.”

“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes.

He acted offended. “No, it’s real.”

“As real as Santa Claus.”

“Santa Claus is real,” Harry argued. “Not you saying he isn’t when you’re literally a mythical creature.”

“Shut up,” she chuckled.

“Make me,” he replied.

Harry didn’t know who had initiated it. Maybe they had both leaned in at the same time. But this time as they shared a kiss in a crowded room, it felt like they were all alone in his mother’s closet once again. Of course he had to keep his hands respectfully on her lower back, but the kiss was still hot. He could feel himself being unravelled right there on the dance floor, and he liked the way her fingers twirled the hair at the back of his neck as they melted into one. But then people had to ruin the moment for them by filming it. Jeff would be happy; Harry wasn’t.

He had developed a special talent over the years as a celebrity and could always sense when someone was taking pictures of him. It made him uneasy and distracted, so he had to pull back. He supposed his twisted expression might have given Ezi the wrong idea. She thought it was her that made him uncomfortable. And for some stupid reason, Harry let her think that.

They left the party early because Ezi didn’t seem to enjoy it anymore. On the drive home, Harry tried to find a way to apologise for ruining the moment, but he didn’t know how to not make it awkward. She didn’t say a single word to him in the car, and he knew she wasn’t going to unless he started the conversation. But then he didn’t. And so she went to bed angry at him.

Harry felt really bad about it. He knew it wouldn’t be this way if he had communicated like a normal human being. But it wasn’t easy. He didn’t want to admit to her that he’d enjoyed kissing her, and he would’ve made out with her in front of all those people had it not been for who he was. He had wanted that moment to be real, but then he remembered it wasn’t, and he felt like he was taking advantage of her.

Maybe she felt that way, too. He wasn’t sure. Or she was just tired and didn’t really care about the kiss, and he was the one making a fuss out of it because he assumed he meant more to her than he really did. Again, Dawson could’ve lied. Ezi might not even have feelings for him. She might think he was a bad kisser even.

As Harry fell asleep that night, he dreamed about her again. They were alone in Niall’s mansion. The music was playing as they slow-danced but nobody was watching. She started kissing him, and he kissed her back. His hands reached around her to unzip her little pink dress and let it pool around her ankles. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath. His cock was rock hard when they went in for more kissing. Her tongue slid between his lips, her hands reaching for his belt as he fumbled on the buttons of his own shirt. Then he woke up with a tent on his crotch. It was three in the fucking morning, and he was having the worst erection in his life.

Harry slipped his hand under the duvet and started playing with it to relieve some tension, but just as he was about to cum, he heard a loud crash downstairs. Instant boner killer.

“Ezi!” he shouted in frustration, slipped on his boxers and marched out of the room.

“I’m sorry!” Ezi’s voice echoed from downstairs. Harry groaned and headed down to the kitchen where he found her collecting broken pieces of a vase she’d knocked over.

“Just leave it,” he said, grabbing her wrists and pulling her up and away from the glass. “You’d hurt yourself, idiot.”

“I’m sorry. It was dark. I couldn’t see.”

“Why didn’t you turn on the lights?”

She shrugged, which made him laugh, because that was very Ezi of her. “You’re a dumbass,” he said.

“I’m not,” she pouted.

“You are. This only happens to dumbasses.”

“Gosh, you’re an asshole,” she mumbled, arms crossed. She was standing with her back to the counter, and he was blocking her way from the door. Of course she could always sidestep him to leave, but instead, she stayed there, just awkwardly chewing on her nail. She was wearing nothing but a loose white shirt of his. And this time, Harry wasn’t complaining.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she said.

“I’m not even looking at you,” he said, yet staring right at her face.

“You are.”

“How would you know? Unless you’re also looking at me.”

“This is stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

“No, you—” Ezi’s voice cut off; her gaze dropped to his mouth as if she hadn’t realised how close they were until now. Harry knew that look so well, and usually it would be a sign for him to make a move. But this was Ezi.

“I should go back to bed,” she said, eyes meeting his again.

He nodded, but didn’t get out of the way.

Again, he didn’t know who leaned in first. The moment their mouths collided, all his thoughts evaporated; his walls crumbled, and he was powerless, unable to pull back. There was a kind of power in the way she kissed that he could not resist. He was all hers.

He tightened his arms around her hips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he lifted her onto the counter. He could feel his erection growing again in his pants. It didn’t take too long for it to turn fully hard, and she obviously felt it, so she pulled back from their kiss, panting. “It’s…”

“Ignore it,” he breathed, kissing her again, making his way down to her neck and chest. She was squirming now, and he wondered if she was also feeling things down there. “Are you wet?” he asked breathlessly against her lips.

She blinked, confused. “No, I’m dry.”

“No, Ezi,” Harry chuckled, face buried in her neck. “I mean, are you wet between your legs?”

“Oh.” She licked her perfect lips and nodded once. “Yeah. Like most of the time.”

Harry’s whole body went stiff. “What?”

“Like...whenever I think of us kissing,” Ezi admitted innocently.

Harry didn’t know which was hotter. The fact that they were both half-naked and horny right now, or the fact that she got turned on just from thinking of kissing him.

“What do you usually do when it happens?” he asked, adding soft kisses to her lips.

Her fists tightened on his back, her eyelids fluttering. “I r-rub my thighs together.”

Harry smiled as his cock twitched to the thought of it. “Does that feel good?”

Ezi nodded.

“Want me to help you feel even better?”

“You can?”

Harry nodded. He knew it wasn’t right to have sex with her when she didn’t even know what it was, so he wouldn’t rush it. He was just going to help her.

He kissed her once more and got down on his knees between her legs. She looked so hot all spread out in front of him with just his shirt and panties on. She wasn’t lying when she said she was wet. Her panties were completely soaked as he slid them off. She shivered a little yet didn’t protest. She wanted him to help.

He started by kissing her inner thigh. She had the prettiest pussy he had ever seen. He could just cum to the thought of licking her, and he swore he almost did when he took the first try. Her hips jolted, and he glanced up to meet her confused stare.

“If you want me to stop, just say it, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied, biting her nail.

He held her eye contact as he started licking. She tasted as sweet as he’d imagined in those dreams. He still couldn’t believe this was real, but god, the sounds she made sent him to heaven. He dipped his tongue into her and her hands flew to the back of his neck. For a moment she forgot everything and started moving her hips against his face. Fuck. It turned him on so much. He slipped his hand into his boxers and gave himself a few strokes. Then she started to moan, and he worked his hand faster while flicking his tongue into her. He fucked himself until she cummed and made a mess inside his pants, cum dripping onto the floor.

“Is that milk?” Her question got him cackling as he got back to his feet, holding onto the counter on either side of her so he wouldn’t fall. He had never cummed so much; it had literally drained him out.

“No, it’s not milk,” he said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked so fucked out as well, which made him feel so proud. “Did you like that?”

“Yes,” she said shyly. “Did you?”

“Very much,” he said. “I would kiss you again if I hadn’t just eaten you out. Not sure how you’d like it.”

A look of horror crossed Ezi’s face as she quickly checked between her legs.

“No!” Harry laughed. “I didn’t literally eat you. It’s what it’s called.”

“Oh.”

“Dummy.”

“Is it like...sex stuff?”

“Not really sex, just part of the sex. So yeah, sex stuff,” Harry explained, not sure how to feel about this situation. Now that post-nut clarity had hit, he started to feel a bit guilty, but it didn’t he wasn’t proud of himself for making her cum so hard her legs were shaking.

“I still want to kiss, though,” Ezi said shyly. “I don’t care.”

“Oh, yeah?” Harry smiled. He liked seeing her blush because of him.

With a nod, she pulled him back in.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I now hate Dabi because this chapter made me see how much his actions has hurt his family, by family I mean Todoroki, Rei, Natsuo and Fuyumi, Endeavour deserves everything he gets. If it wasn't for Dabi Todoroki wouldn't be suffering right now and he wouldn't be hated by his former classmates and friends or the civilians. Yeah Dabi will get saved and live a happy life while his brother will suffer immensely because of him. Dabi can't reverse the damage he has done.

With that logic, maybe without Dabi, Shouto wouldn't exist at all. Maybe Endeavor would be even a worst father, maybe Fuyumi would be the traumatized one and the villain, maybe...

My point is that when you remove a jenga block, you risk taking the tower down by doing it wrong. And messing with timelines like this, playing with hypothetical scenaries, it's like playing jenga while blinded and with a such greater tower that you don't even know what of it it's gonna stay the same.

You're talking me about the Todorokis suffering, but do you remember who initiated it? Why blaming another victim and charging that person with all the hurt? Or do you forget without Dabi, Shouto would have still grown up in a violent home, he would still have a father that abuses him and a mother who neglects him, he would still have a sister and a brother who were rejected and isolated, he would still become the cold kid he was at the beginning of mha / bnha...

Following this logic, if Touya wasn't born, Shouto would have been a happy child? No, because it's not Shouto or Touya's fault that Endeavor did what he did. None of the Todorokis kids are to blame for the house they grew up in.

And even when yes, Dabi has hurt a lot of people and has done many things wrong, I don't think you understand how love and suffering works. And I don't think you understand how a hero works in this case, or even how a person has the right to choose.

Look, Dabi is not pressuring anyone to save him, right? In fact, like always, they heroes can kill the villains and go happily ever after. But would they be happily ever after? Or they would just continue the cycle of violence?

And Shouto could choose to hate his brother. He hated Dabi for a lot of time, until he realized how close he was himself of ending like Dabi, and how much he would have loved for someone to save him if that was the case. Because when you are in that situation, you wouldn't even know that you want to be saved. Dabi hates himself and he hates the world and he's suicidal.

Dabi is the reflection of Shouto. They are the same, in different moments. And Shouto wants to save him, not stop him, because he wants to extend the gentleness Deku offered Shouto. You choose to love someone and you choose to save them and even when everyone else think they are a burden, you know it's not like that. Because you are the victim who was saved, but what about him? Who will sacrifice everything for him? Why he doesn't deserve to be saved but you was? What would your life be more precious than his?

And following your selfish logic, why Midoriya rescued Shouto? Why would he care? If it wasn't for Deku trying to be a hero for all of them, we don't even know if he would be a hero at all.

And see how that logic take us more to the villain side and more to Dabi's side. Why would he care about the world? Why is he the one who has to suffer for the rest? Why not hating the heroes who failed him? Why loving when it hurts and its a burden?

I know hating is very appealing and so so easy, because we can indulge our rage and sadness. And I know love and compassion takes courage, and I know no one is in the position to judge another human being better or worst for how they dealt with their trauma, because people behave different when they are wounded and bleeding out, but please hear me. When a victim fights a victim, no one wins.

When a victim fights a victim, people like Twice and Midnight die. When a victim fights a victim, a family mourns not matter what. When a victim fights a victim, someone's gonna hurt.

Can the other Todorokis reverse the damage they have done? Can Rei still try to be a good mother? Could Shouto change to be a better friend and classmate? Can Endeavor try and be a real hero this time? What about Fuyumi and Natsuo, now that they are grown-ups and can do something about it, can they help protect their older and little brothers?

When you get shot, I guarantee is gonna hurt even healed or bleeding out. But we all prefer to be healed and the wounds to hurt only on rainy days. That's the equivalent of choosing to save someone and show them love instead of killing them or letting them die.

Please think about this. I think you're seeing this through the wrong angle and I'd like you to considerate my argument. And tell me if that helped you see things clearer or if you changed your mind.

[doortotomorrow]

Mirrors and Cautionary Tales : John Murphy’s Journey to Redemption

When it comes to John Murphy, plenty of people have wondered why he spent a significant portion of his screen time interacting with the seasonal villains, and I think I’ve come up with a reason why this feels like such a steady trend in his overall story arc. It all comes down to how these villains represented Murphy’s internal struggles with himself as he grew and matured into the man we now know him as today. 

Let’s take this back to the very first season of The 100 where we first encounter Murphy as he touches down onto Earth and the kind of person he was back then. As beloved a character as he is now, I can’t mince words or sugarcoat things. He was the villain for the delinquents in the first season. So, what kind of villain was he?

He wanted power and authority by any means necessary - ( “Well, I think the princess is dead... but I know the king's about to die, so who's really gonna lead these people, huh? Me, that's who, and, yeah, maybe I'll have to kill your grounder-pounding little sister.” - We are Grounders I )

He was downright wrathful - ( his willingness to kill Jasper, holding someone over a fire, ganging up on Wells to remove his bracelet, almost killing Raven )

He was selfish and all about his own self preservation- ( making everyone else do the work around the delinquent camp while Bellamy is gone, wasting resources to blow a hole in the drop ship to make his getaway )

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With those things out of the way, let’s jot down all the villains Murphy interacted with.

Charles Pike

Ontari kom Azgeda

Paxton McCreary

Josephine Lightbourne 

Sheidheda

We’ll start with John Murphy’s origin point and his experience under his abusive Earth skills teacher, Charles Pike. While Murphy was largely absent from witnessing much of what Pike did to become Chancellor of Arkadia, he did see the end result of how that worked out for him. Desperate, in a jail cell, and then later on, stabbed to death in an act of revenge for the horrific things he did while in a position of power he practically stole. 

On the Grounder side, he had the unfortunate luck of being trapped in Polis with Ontari kom Azgeda. Initially, he went along with the whole false Commander thing, masquerading as her Fleimkepa and even gave her advice on how to maintain her power...but then he started becoming unnerved by her violent paranoia, ultimately getting traumatized by her when she viciously abused him.

Murphy’s front row seat to watching two people’s quests for power and authority left him with this valuable lesson : being power hungry will turn you in a paranoid, unhinged person with a list of enemies a mile long. You will never, ever have a moment’s peace. You will always be looking over your shoulder wondering if this is the day you get a knife in the back.

After the third season, Murphy’s desire for power and authority completely disappears. It’s not something he’s interested in anymore because he’s been shown that it’s simply not worth it. 

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Enter season five and its main villain : Paxton McCreary. What does McCreary like to do for fun? Start riots, blow things up, fire off big guns, and getting high off of combat. Oh, and he’s always, always emotionally detached and angry. His default setting is rage. It’s sounding kind of familiar, isn’t it? 

The fifth season is where Murphy’s at his most chaotic and destructive(both internally and externally). He’s blowing things up, playing with huge guns, causing riots, jumping into any battle he can for the adrenaline rush, pushing everyone away, breaking up with Emori until finally, it all comes crashing down on him. All of this chaotic behavior leads to him getting shot in the Rover, nearly losing his life in the process.

On the other side of the war, McCreary’s wrath caused untold levels of destruction. It was McCreary’s need for destruction that lead to Earth being completely fried, it was McCreary’s wrath that resulted in the loss of Monty and Harper, taking away two members of Murphy’s family from him. 

All of this unquantifiable destruction and death was a giant wake up call for Murphy. McCreary leaves him with this lesson: if you let rage and chaos possess you, you will end up losing everything. 

That’s why, when the sixth season rolls around, Murphy’s lust for battle was greatly diminished. 

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Speaking of the sixth season, it’s time to revisit Sanctum and get ourselves reacquainted with Josephine Lightbourne. 

When Murphy arrived in Sanctum, his heart was heavy, clearly in a state of mourning over those he lost when he woke up and realized Monty and Harper were gone. Not only that, but yet again, he had suffered another traumatic near death experience during Sanctum’s Red Sun event. His first day out of his long hibernation was hardly fun at all, experiencing nightmares about going to hell when he fell into a coma and waking up screaming over what he saw.

So, in a moment of vulnerability and wanting to avoid going to hell, Murphy became more and more tempted with the concept of the Prime’s method of immortality. The ultimate survivor’s move : not dying at all. It’s at this point where he met Josie and saw first hand what living forever does to a person. At first, he made a deal with her to get his hands on some empty mind drives(getting Emori in on the deal as well), but the longer he lingered in her company, the more immortality started losing its luster. When it was revealed Clarke was still alive, Murphy joined the others in helping to get Josie out of her head.

Immortality had turned Josie into a sociopathic monster, utterly incapable of respecting other people’s feelings and wishes, only focusing on her own wants and needs for the sake of preserving herself. This wasn’t who Murphy wanted/needed to be anymore, having fallen in love with Emori, and creating a family alongside her which Murphy valued too much to lose. After all, what was the point of living forever if he lost his family?

That’s why, when the mind drives come up again in the seventh season, they’re now a symbol of finite time in Murphy’s story. Just a few more hours with the woman he loved as humanity itself faced its final hours.

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With all of these cautionary tales Murphy’s seen play out throughout the seasons, avoiding all of those pitfalls the previous villains fell in, we’re introduced to his perfect foil : Sheidheda, the dark commander. 

Sheidheda was everything Murphy could have become if he never went on his journey of redemption, falling in love, and finding a family to fight for. Sheidheda craved power and desired nothing more than to see everyone kneeling at his feet. Through the Flame, he had lived forever, waiting for his moment of opportunity to arrive where he could rise again. If something got in his way, he’d burn it all down, creating chaos and bloodshed in his wake. He’s all of the previous villains combined into one package.

We were in desperate need of a hero...and we got one.

When Murphy and Sheidheda had their first confrontation, Murphy was deep into hero mode. He helped Emori calm down a rioting crowd, saved Sanctum from a nuclear meltdown, and rescued a group of frightened children. He kept on saying he was tired of playing the hero, but let’s be honest here, he wore the title well. Sheidheda was flawlessly utilized to showcase how far Murphy had come as a character, becoming a man we know his father would be proud of. 

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There you have it! My long, long winded way of breaking down why Murphy spent so much time interacting with the villains. It was their way of marking down each stage of Murphy’s overall arc. It was very much intentional. 

[me4ml]

Why don't you like Maribat? Why do you think it's a spite or salt ship?

This is presumably because of my Adrigaminette post or the whole Maribat being on the ship list thing.

Quick disclaimer: if you read/ship/write/like Maribat, cool! This is not an attack. This is me answering why I, personally, do not like it. It’s tagged anti, and salt, so it should be filtered. Please don’t harass me over it.

Another note before we start: a lot of what I’m about to write is based on what I’ve read, fic wise or meta, and I blocked off the Maribat tag and fandom a long time ago. It may have changed over there-I doubt it, and I have zero desire to go and look-but this is based on what I’ve seen and read about.

There are, principally, three reasons I can’t stand Maribat, why I think it’s a spite/salt ship.

1). I don’t like Damian Wayne.

2). I don’t like how Damian and the DCU are written in Maribat.

3). Maribat is a mutated salt fic.

If you want to see my reasons why, the rest is under the read more.

1). I don’t like Damian Wayne.

Damian’s not just my least favorite Robin, ranking behind any of the others who have born the name. He’s my least favorite Batfam sidekick overall.

Part of this is his introduction, where he’s a violent, murderous, arrogant, entitled, snotty little brat of a thug. Lest we forget, one of his first acts is to go out, kill a guy, cut off his head, stuff a grenade into the decapitated head’s mouth, and try to blow up Tim. This is his introduction! There are a number of other occasions, including how he treats Jon, his best friend, and the rest of his siblings.

Another part is that he believes that he deserves to be Robin simply because he’s Bruce’s son, and therefore has the blood right to be Robin, to become Batman, and damn anyone else, who are all pretenders. Doesn’t matter that those characters might have a right to become Robin, or the future Batman, he’s the bio son, he deserves it!

Additionally, Damian feels.....not unnecessary, but repetitive, in his actions/characterization. There are other characters who can perform pretty much the same way for whatever storyline is necessary, without including Damian.

Trained by an abusive family to be the best, as an assassin and warrior? Cassandra.

A killer who breaks the main rule of his mentor, which causes tension and strain in the family? Jason.

Incredibly intelligent and talented? Tim.

Damian isn’t unique in what he does, and while that can make him an interesting character, it can also make the focus on him unnecessary.

As well, so much of Damian’s actions and motivations feels like he gets away with stuff, in-universe, because he’s Bruce’s biological son, and so Bruce gives him too much slack, and out-universe, because the writers let him/the fans will defend him. He gets woobified, or leather pantsed. Which leads to:

2). I don’t like how Damian and the DCU are written for Maribat.

For all his (numerous) faults, when written well, Damian can be an interesting character. For example: How does he deal with being deeply insecure? By putting on a mask of arrogance and overconfidence.

Some more examples: How does Damian act like an actual child, when he’s never had a childhood? How can he be a hero, if he’s been trained to be a killer? Can he ever catch up to his siblings, or will he feel like they’re always better than him?

Damian’s sense of being Batman’s son, of being the heir to the Cowl, slams right up against the idea of the Batfam: that there are people who have just as much of a right to call Batman their father/father figure, people who are just as talented and skilled and capable as Damian himself is, if not more. Watching Damian develop, when he’s written right, is actually enjoyable; mainly because when it’s done right, it shows Damian actually progressing and growing, becoming more of a person, with friends and interests. Most times, seeing Damian with his pets can be adorable, same with when he hangs out with Jon.

Is he still a brat? Still sometimes a bit too much of a Demon, an al-Ghul? Yes, but that’s always going to be part of him, and as long as he’s shown to try and grow, or gets called out on that, it’s less of an issue (There’s a completely different rant to be written about how DC likes to chuck character development or backstory into the trash when it suits them for a new run. Damian gets hit with this, as does Tim, or they get handed the idiot/conflict ball, but not the space for it).

Maribat hurls this all out the window. Damian’s bad traits are all “fixed” offscreen-he’s developed, matured, gotten better, whatever you want to call it. It’s basically a writer’s hand wave to make Damian into the character who will be the lead of the story, perfectly suited for his main role of being Marinette’s boyfriend and utterly devoted to her every whim and will. He’s enchanted by her at first glimpse, and defends her against everyone who hates her, because no one can understand her like he can!

Uh, what? This is not Damian Wayne. Even at his best, he’s no broody boy, pulled from his “dark path” by the love of a gentle girl. He’s a Jerk with a Heart of Gold-emphasis on the Jerk. There’s a reason his nickname usually involves “Demon.” Is Damian trying to get better? Yes. But even then, he’s not the type to immediately fall in love. He takes a while to warm up to people, for them to earn his trust, and Marinette would not be like that?

Let’s say that Robin is in Paris for a case, he runs into Ladybug and Chat, and after they explains what’s going on, Robin gives them a stare over his mask, and goes “TT! What a worthless hero, I would have caught him already.” LB and Chat would probably want to deck him, and that’s before he keeps talking.

Same with if Damian transfers to the class, or they meet on a field trip to Gotham. Damian’s not gonna care about some random French teenagers on a tour, or if he was transferred he’s gonna be trying to figure out why his father sent him to Paris, and be focused on the mission, not making friends.

Of all of the Robins, the ones that would be the most likely to capture Marinette’s interest would be Dick or Tim, not Damian. He would remind her too much of Chloe, as Damian, and as Robin, he would be dismissive of Ladybug’s abilities, which would absolutely piss her, and Chat Noir, off.

In characters that aren’t Damian, no one seems to be written properly over in Maribatland. One huge example is that Marinette is so beloved, so pure, that she can make any character fall in love with her, and reform by her pure goodness, including a fic where the Joker-THE JOKER!-becomes her “Uncle J,” and pranks Lila on her behalf.

Uh-huh. Sure. Completely and totally something that one of the biggest, most sadistic twisted, notorious villains in pop culture would do. Maribat winds up worshipping the ground that Marinette walks on, cause she’s “Teh best evar!”

Which then leads to my third and final point:

3). The whole Maribat concept is a mutated salt fic.

Most of the themes you’ll find in Maribat? You will find in nearly every salt fic.

Maybe my biggest issue with the whole Maribat idea is that it doesn’t feel like a proper crossover, which, at their best, explore how characters from one universe and their rules would interact with characters from another universe, and the rules of that one. Putting ML and DC together is a rich opportunity to play with concepts in both worlds!

And yet, it’s mainly used to bash ML characters who the writers despise, predominantly Adrien, Alya, and Lila, with members of the class thrown in depending on feeling, and potentially even Marinette’s parents! The only “good” ML characters are the ones who are on Marinette’s side, usually Luka, Kagami, a Chloe who for some reason has been redeemed and is now Marinette’s best friend, and whatever members of the class the writer decides to throw in there.

You’ll notice it’s not called “MiracuBat”, or LadyBat and Bat Noir-it’s MariBat. It’s meant as a focus on Marinette, making her-the hero of the Miraculous Ladybug franchise, someone in-story in story who is incredibly smart and talented and the leader of her team, future Guardian-even more awesome.....by beating down everyone else around her.

Marinette is simultaneously treated as an beaten-up, beaten-down walked-on carpet, and the best person to ever exist ever, go who only needs a group of new, different, better people to recognize that and save her from the clutches of those greedy and ungrateful assholes! That doesn’t include the fics where she’s the unknown child of a superhero or supervillain, making her even more special.

It’s Chameleon salt, class salt, with pointy ears and a cape on.

Some specific examples.

Adrien: Adrien is a spineless doormat who prioritizes Lila over Marinette, or an entitled bastard sexual harasser, only fixated on Ladybug, or even both. Sometimes it’ll get worse, as Adrien will threaten or abandon Marinette if she steps off of his “high road,” and Chat will be a budding rapist, stalking or capturing Marinette after he’s learned she’s Ladybug, while ignoring her prior to that. He will, of course, have his ring stripped and handed off to Damian, who is the “true” soul of Destruction and so therefore a “perfect match” to Marinette’s Creation soul. Occasionally it will be Jason, or Tim, or Dick, but the key thing is that it’s not Adrien!

While Damian’s issues are magically fixed, Adrien gets no such courtesy. Adrien has been abused, just like Damian, and while Damian’s abuse is more extensive and extreme, abuse is abuse. If anything, if Damian met Adrien, he would probably see another abused kid, and want to be his friend/have his “adopt stray person!” Instincts go off. I can much more imagine Damian dragging a bewildered Adrien into the Batcave and yelling “Father I’ve found another one for you to adopt!” than I can Damian immediately hating Adrien, or Chat, simply for breathing.

We never see Clark taking Adrien under his wing, or Bruce, or any of the other Batfam; nor any of the other Justice Leaguers. We never see Selina try to fight Bruce over the kid, because he’s cat-themed, and Selina can train him, this one’s hers Bat, get off!

Adrien’s never treated as a kid, or given actual development. A major complaint among salters is that Adrien is treated as perfect and never develops, and in fic, rather than developing him, Adrien either remains static, with his flaws narratively exploded, or is developed negatively. He’s there to be beaten up on and punished by the writers, if not actually physically beaten up by characters in the fic.

Alya: the not-so-good friend, the cheap excuse for a journalist, the awful person who abandons Marinette for Lila and her “connections.” Never mind that Alya was Marinette’s friend from the beginning, or that Marinette’s chosen her multiple times for a Miraculous. One instance of questioning Marinette about Lila, and Alya’s a backstabbing bitch.

Maribat treats Alya as neglectful, bossy, domineering and submissive at the same time to Marinette and Lila respectively, and as a journalist, the worst of the worst. She’s played as a two-bit paparazzo, and once again, the DCU is used to punish her. We don’t see Alya get mentored by Lois or Clark-indeed, if they notice her, it’s with disdain or disappointment. Often, they’re crushing her under their heel, calling her not only a bad journalist, but a bad friend/person. This forgetting, of course, that Alya runs her blog as a hobby so far, she’s only a teenager, and that she’s had Marinette’s back against Chloe and Lila.

The Class: the dupes or allies as needed. Class salt levels depend on what the writer needs. If they’re pro-class, they’re all on Marinette’s side, aside from Alya Adrien and Lila. Chloe, for some ungodly reason, is “redeemed” nigh instantaneously, and often will become Marinette’s best friend, if that isn’t Kagami already. Kagami will drop Adrien like a wet tissue, never trying to reconcile him with the clas, or encourage him to stand up for himself, or if she does, Adrien, of course, will not listen.

If the writer is anti-class, whoo boy. Openly mentally, emotionally, physically abusive to Marinette, the worst gang of people you would ever have the displeasure of meeting, they all need to be in Arkham.

We never see any of the class make friends with the Batfam, the Titans, Young Justice-unless they’re on Marinette’s side, of course. There’s no Alix stopping Selina at the Louvre, for instance, or Max hanging out with Babs. It’s all based on how Marinette is treated as to whether or not the class is portrayed as being worse than the worst of the Rogues Gallery.

Wrapping it all up, Maribat has made me dislike the entire concept of a DC/ML crossover.

Even if someone had written an non-salt, in-character crossover, I don’t know if I would read it, simply because the well has been that poisoned.

[autumnsart22]

A Dream Come True: Shigaraki x Dabi x Reader part 1/2

So my friend wrote this fic but she didn’t have anywhere to post it so we decided to share it here! All creds go to her 🤪

I’ll post part 2 tomorrow, which is when it gets spicyyyy

“Y/N I am leaving for the night. You know what to do and your paycheck is on the desk in my office.” 

And with those final words, a cheeky wink, and the slam of the back door, your boss stalked out of the empty bar. He wasn’t a bad person but a lousy boss and an even lousier business owner. Most of the liquor went into his morning, afternoon, or evening coffee sometimes forgoing the coffee altogether. You overheard some of the other workers in the area saying that this place was gonna go under pretty soon. Even without the boss’s nasty habit of drinking the alcohol, you’re are in a part of town that doesn’t attract many people. On a busy night you might have three or four people come in for a lonely drink. It was a lonely place and a lonely job but it was easy work and the boss always seemed to pay you more than what the job is worth. Just another poor business practice. 

Tonight had been the same as usual. You came into work at 6 and set up the bar for opening at 6:30. It wasn’t until 9:45 that another soul entered the bar. He was one of the usuals and it was nice having another human being to chat with while you fixed his drink. He made the routine comments about how you’re still young and shouldn't be working in a run down place like this, and you gave him the same answer as always that you were saving up to finish school, and that it was a fine job. When he left it was back to mindless wiping of surfaces and organizing the glasses and no one to talk to. It was 11:30 now and no one else had entered the bar, but that was normal. It was almost closing time now, and the boss never minded if you shut down 15 minutes early.  

You were locking up the liquor, back turned to the rest of the bar when two male voices came from the front door. That’s weird you didn’t hear the door. They seemed to be arguing, and one of them seemed to be in pain based on his frequent groans and strained voice. 

“Sorry we’re closing up for the night.” you yelled, continuing the shuffling of bottles. 

“And who in the hell are you?” 

You had heard that voice before, but that was insane, just a coincidence. However at that moment you felt an arm roughly grab around your waist and a strong lock around your wrists violently pushing them into your back. 

“OUCH! WHAT THE HELL?!” 

You were violently pushed around, body finally turned to see the man that wasn’t currently restraining you from behind. If this was some dumb cartoon your jaw would have touched the floor. What the hell was going on? All logical thought swept from your brain. How could this be? This man could not be standing in front of you. No you’re dreaming. You must be. You fell asleep at work and you’re dreaming. Okay. Okay. You just need to wake yourself up. Yeah that's it. You tried pinching yourself but you couldn’t move your hands out of the tight grip. The only unrestrained part of your body were your legs. You violently landed a kick to your left shin.

“FUCKING SHIT!!” Was that supposed to hurt that much in a dream? 

“If that was aimed at me, you’re pathetic” The deep voice behind you chuckled lightly at the self inflicted kick. You felt the reverberations of the low tone where your body was pressed against his. You knew that voice too! You looked down at the arm still gripping threateningly around your waist. Charred skin ran all the way down to the hand where a ring of staples held it to viable flesh.  Oh my god. This can’t be happening. You continued to violently kick yourself, closing your eyes tightly before opening them again, persistently trying to wake yourself up and make sense of this situation. 

“Hey. Hey. Hey quit squirming” You felt a leg separating your own, preventing you from further abuse to your shins. The arm around your waist tightened in support since your legs started to give out. 

“Crusty come help me out I think she’s gonna faint” 

When you opened your eyes, the lights of the bar were harsh against your blurry vision and foggy brain. 

“That was a weird dream. What time is it?” you wondered aloud, looking up for the clock on the wall.

“And she’s back, and this isn’t a dream sweetheart.” the deep voice sent a shock down your spine.

No way. Your eyes darted to the two men standing next to the bar. It was only then you realized you were slumped awkwardly in one of the leather chairs scattered throughout the room, ropes replacing the rough hands from earlier.

“Now as I asked you before? Who the hell are you?” This time it was the scratchy voice that shot at you. The familiar lanky form of Tomura Shigaraki was leaning against the bar, this time the edges of his frame curved into shadow and his height adding much more presence than what you could have imagined. 

“You… you’re Tomura Shigaraki” you stuttered in shock.

“I asked for your name girl, not mine. Now spit it out” He barked impatiently. 

“I-I-mm Y-yy-/N-nn” 

“What are you doing here?” He shot again. 

“I-I work here” Eyes darting between the two men you’ve studied so closely before, but always through a screen. This can’t be real. They can’t be real. It was rather ironic how defiant your mind was being to the presence of two men you had spent hours watching, reading, and fantasizing about but this was insane.  

“No you don’t.” Shigaraki’s voice becoming more and more impatient with your slow and stupid answers. 

“This bar has been closed for years.” Dabi stated flatly as though proving you’re lying. 

“I can’t believe this. This has to be a dream” you started mumbling to yourself quickly trying to understand how this was reality. 

“HEY! This isn’t a dream, you stupid girl! Now tell us why you're in our bar!” 

“You’re Tomura Shigaraki and you’re Dabi from My Hero Academia” you started calming down and succumbing to the fact that this was happening even if you were going crazy. Two villains from an anime you watch are standing in front of you seemingly real. 

“From wha–– oh nevermind. What’s your quirk?” Shigraki continued to shoot questions at you but none of his words could cut through the hurricane of questions storming through your brain. 

“How are you guys real? How are you guys here?”

“I am the one asking questions here. Now tell me what your quirk is?”  He said annoyedly, starting to scratch his neck.

“I don’t have a quirk. No one here does” 

“What are you talking about? Nearly everyone has a quirk.” Dabi questioned coldly. 

“This is the real world. There are no such things as quirks here.” You continued finally allowing yourself to come to the ludacris idea that this was in fact reality. 

“Very funny. Dabi what do you say we just kill her?” Shigaraki said with a sadistic grin evident behind the hand, taking a step closer to you. Dabi shrugged leaning against the bar, an air of unamusement lingering in his face. 

“WAIT...wait...What if I can prove to you that this is a different reality?” 

“Well go on then prove it” Shigraki teased continuing his advance on you. 

“You’re Tomura Shigaraki leader of the League of Villains ––” 

“Blah Blah everyone knows that” He said annoyed now looming over you, his deadly hands reaching out. 

 Closing your eyes and turning away from him, you continued to spurt out facts, waiting to be turned into ash. 

“Your real name is Tenko Shimura, the hand on your face you refer to as father, you…” 

SLAP! Your face stung but your body still seemed to be intact. When you dared to open your eyes,  Shigraki’s face was inches from yours, murderous crimson glaring at you from between the fingers of his mask. Pinned into the chair between his two arms gripping the armrests, you were trapped. 

“How do you know that?” He said through clenched teeth. 

“You’re a character from an anime I watch. I’ve watched you guys for months”

“Liar. You must have hacked us or stolen or….” You could tell he was trying to figure out how you knew information that isn’t in any record or known by anyone. 

“I promise. I didn’t do any of that. I am telling the truth.” you continued to plead. 

“What about me? Do you know shit about me?” Dabi didn’t seem to be convinced. 

“Ummm...Well I know your name is Touya Todoroki and you’re the oldest son of Endeavor and...

“You’re the son of Endeavor?” Shigaraki standing up and looking at him revolted. 

“Hey I didn’t say that. She did.” Dabi seemed pissed behind the flat face. 

“Okay but SHE seems to know everything about us so…” 

“Fine. What do we do then? Kill her?” Dabi asked.

“Fine by me.” Shigaraki shrugs. You stared helplessly as the blue haired man turned back to you still tied in the chair. 

“Wait! I know information about other people. I’ll tell you everything I know please” 

“Sorry, but I’ve made up my mind” 

The excitement was evident in his scratchy voice as he violently grabbed your face smushing your cheeks together uncomfortably. Shigaraki’s cold fingers dug into your skin, nails sharp and ragged. You could see his pointer finger still raised in your field of vision. You shut your eyes tightly as he slowly brought his pointer finger down to meet his others. You waited for something to happen. Were you already dead? Was it that simple? You opened an eye when you felt Shigaraki’s nails dig further into your skin. He was still standing in front of you with his hand still on your face, just as confused as you were on why you weren’t a pile of ash.

“I guess your quirks were erased when...” 

SLAP! Where his hand had laid flat moments before was now red and stinging as he landed his second blow to your face tonight. 

“Scar face any fire?” he shot, standing up straight again and turning towards Dabi.

“Nope. I am just as useless as you” Dabi returned. 

You could see the annoyance fuming in Shigaraki’s eyes as the realization that what you had been stating was true. He was currently stuck in a different dimension with no quirks. You let out a sigh of relief, glad that you didn’t have to be worried about being turned into ash by either men.

“Alright brat” Shigaraki hissed turning back to you. “ What were you saying about information?”

“Well like I said before. You two are characters in an anime in this universe, and that means I know just as much about other characters... I mean other people in your universe. Of course not everything but just what’s been released”

“An anime you say. What’s this show called?” 

“Um…” You hesitated knowing he wasn’t going to like the answer”

“Spit it out” 

 “My Hero Academia” 

“Tch. Of fucking course it’s about the heros.” He said the last word with such disdain that it oozed onto the floor. 

“Let me guess. All Might is the main character?”

“Well not exactly.”

“Then who the fuck is it?” 

“Well….Izuku Midoriya” 

“That annoying little green haired brat is the main character?! What makes him so special?” 

“Well that’s kind of a long story and the whole premise of the show” 

“Well we’ve got time, and we need to figure out how in the hell we got here and how the fuck we’re gonna get back, so keep talking” 

“Fine, but first untie me.” 

“What did you say?” Shigaraki questioned. A small chuckle came from Dabi who was now playing with the toothpicks you used in drinks, lazily moving them around with his hands, one already perched between his teeth. 

“I told you to untie me” You were gaining some confidence since you realized you had the upper hand. 

“There are no quirks here and I have no intent on trying to deceive you two, believe me I know what you’re capable of ” They could still harm you in many ways but you were a source of information and someone who understood their situation. 

“So if you would please untie me. I promise to help you” At this point you surmised that they had somehow been warped here by someone else’s quirk either in or after some kind of fight. Shigaraki had a growing bloodstain seeping through his jeans, and Dabi had some deep cuts and few staples loose. Dabi and Shigaraki looked at eachother deciding whether or not to trust me.

“Look” You said exasperatedly. You were starting to lose feeling in one of your legs that was pressed awkwardly underneath you, and your shoulders becoming sore from the awkward angle of your arms. “I don’t know how you are here or why it was me you happened to run into, but you need help and are you really gonna try and explain this situation to someone else?” 

“She’s right you know” Dabi said casually to Shigaraki who was obviously trying to come up with an excuse to hurt you. 

“Fine. Go utie her” 

With a heavy sigh Dabi slid off his stool dropping the toothpicks in his hand, the one still pursed between his lips moving idly as he chewed on it. He stalked over to you as Shigaraki sat on a stool at the bar from the growing pain in his leg. Dabi came up in front of you, and you couldn’t help but flush at how close he was. You thought back to the copious amounts of fanfic you’ve read as he reached around you to untie the rope. He was so close you could feel his breath on your neck and hear him chewing on the toothpick. He smelled of worn cologne with a musky yet slightly minty scent mixed with what you presume to be the scent of charred flesh. Once you were free and he was no longer in your personal space, you rubbed your wrists standing up trying to get blood flow back to your legs. 

“Thanks” you say casually to Dabi as he walks back over resuming his seat at the bar next to Shigaraki. He doesn’t respond. 

You start to walk towards the door at the side of the bar that leads to the boss’s office and the back room where you keep your stuff. 

“And where do you think you’re going?” Shigaraki asks sliding off his stool threateningly, but he nearly stumbles when he lands on his ill leg. 

“Don’t worry I am just going to grab my stuff” 

“Dabi go with her” 

“No. She’s not gonna go anywhere. Besides if this is anything like the bar then that room has no exit”

“Tch–” was Shigaraki’s only response. You take this as a concession and push open the door to the back room. When the door closes, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

Dabi and Shigaraki from MHA were real and standing in the room next door. And you were going to help them?! Did that make you technically a villain? How were you supposed to figure out how to get them back? Did you want them to go back? After all you had dreamt of scenarios similar to this many times. Maybe if you figured it out could you go with them? That thought alone was enough to make your simp dreams explode. What weeb gods had blessed you? 

Your brain was racing as you gathered your sweatshirt and bag. You popped quickly into the office attached to the back of the room to grab your paycheck. Like you suspected, he gave you a random bonus but you weren’t complaining. You stuffed it into your bag and walked back towards the bar. You took a deep breath before pushing open the door, half expecting to be met with an empty room, but there they were, talking in hushed tones. They immediately stopped when they heard you come back. 

“Are you going somewhere?” Shigaraki asked, noticing your bag as you pulled on your sweatshirt. 

“This place closed over 20 minutes ago and unless you want the other business owners around here to come poking around, since I always close on time, we should head out” 

“And where exactly are WE going?” Dabi asked boredly, staring off at the ceiling. 

“I live about six blocks from here. Think you can make it? I have first aid shit at my place” You directed the last part towards Shigaraki. 

“Tch-” 

“I will take that as a yes.” you said as you turned off the decorative lighting around the bar, and locked the register. You walked towards the front door and you heard the two men shuffle around to follow you. You open the door letting them walk out in front of you. Shutting off the main lights shrouding the bar into complete darkness cept the bright green exit sign above the door, you locked the bar door and turned to see Dabi and Shigaraki looking around at the buildings surrounding the bar. Shigaraki had stowed father into his pocket and Dabi popped up the collar of his jacket to try and obscure some of his scars. You also glanced around taking in the familiar scenery. You never really noticed how similar it was to the shots in MHA. Weird. 

Anyways you can think about that later. You started the route back to your house the two men trailing closely behind you whether it was for their own comfort or to make sure you didn’t try to bolt, you didn’t know but you felt much safer with these two with you. Normally you would walk quickly, key in hand, always crossing the street to whichever side had the most light, but tonight you didn’t worry too much about the potential danger lurking on the streets. All of them seemed miniscule to the two men behind you. 

You walked in complete silence for the majority of the time. You had so many questions but all of them could wait till you got home. I am sure they have just as many questions for you. You could hear Shigaraki grunt in pain every once in a while, walking becoming harder as time went on. You were about a block away coming up on the small 24 hour grocery/convenience store where you frequently bought snacks and food on your way home from work. 

“Hey I need to quickly grab some stuff. I don’t have much food at home. Are you guys hungry?” 

Neither responded. 

“Okay then.” Neither one objected as you turned into the small parking lot walking up to the store. They both followed you inside like two overgrown shadows. You grabbed a basket and started making your way through the isles grabbing essentials like milk and cheese. 

“Feel free to grab some stuff if it catches your eye. There’s Soba cups down that aisle and Shigaraki there’s chips and other snacks there too. I just need to grab something over here” you say pointing towards the other direction. Dabi and Shigaraki glance at each other and stalk off together. 

“You know it's getting rather annoying how she knows all this stuff about us” You catch Shigaraki telling Dabi as you turn to go grab all the other items you need. When you return they’re both there, bags of chips and soba cups in hand. It was rather cute how they stood there waiting for you to return. You walked up to the counter to check out and once Dabi and Shigaraki dropped their haul for you to pay, they walked outside to wait for you. 

“Good Morning Y/N” 

“Oh. Hey Thomas” you say to the cashier you’ve come to know over the many late night trips. He always amused himself by saying good morning whenever you came in after midnight. 

“Who were the two guys with you? They seem kinda rough. Is everything alright?” he finished scanning your items as you handed over your card. 

“Oh haha. Don’t worry they’re some family friends. They came to visit me while they’re passing through” 

“Oh alright then. Well I hope you have a good morning” He said with a cheery smile.

“Good morning” you returned, resistantly. You grabbed the bags of groceries and waved to Thomas, pushing the door open and stepping outside scanning for Dabi and Shigaraki. 

You spot them leaning against the side of the store watching some teens try and pick a redbox movie. 

“We only have a block to go,” you told them as they stood up straight to follow you.

“Woah!!! Jamie look that dude is dressed up as Dabi!” 

We turned to see one of the teens staring at Dabi. 

“Look at the guy next to him! That’s the best Shiggy I’ve seen” 

You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from laughing. The look on Shigaraki’s face at a random teen calling him Shiggy was priceless. If only these kids knew. Dabi continued walking down the parking lot and Shigaraki looked like he was about to murder someone. 

“Hey do you think we could get a picture with you guys?” one of the teens asked walking towards Shigaraki. 

Oh no bad idea. 

“Hey guys. Not tonight. Sorry” You intervened quickly, shooting Shigaraki a look that said don’t do it. He seemed to understand because he started to walk towards where Dabi was waiting. 

“Aww man. Shigaraki’s my favorite character. Tell them amazing costumes.”  

“Will do” you said with a smile and turned to walk towards where the two men were waiting for you. 

The rest of the walk had an air of impatience as you all wanted to just get to your destination. You had finally made it to your apartment, unlocking the door and stepping inside. It was a fairly new building so the apartment was rather nice however it was one of the smallest models. There was only one bed and bath but the open concept living room and kitchen made it feel rather spacious. You walked into the kitchen putting away all the groceries as Dabi and Shigaraki looked around surveying your apartment. 

“Feel free to make yourselves at home. I’ll grab my first aid stuff. There’s food and drink in the kitchen”

You walked down the hall to your room kicking off your shoes and taking off your sweatshirt. You grabbed the rather large first aid kit from the bathroom and brought it back into the main room. Both Dabi and Shigaraki had shed their jackets and seemed to have found some left over beers in your fridge. Dabi was sitting on the kitchen counter and Shigaraki was sitting at the dining room table, prodding at the wound on his leg. 

“Don’t touch it. That's only gonna make it worse” you told him. 

“Oh shut up. Don’t tell me what to do” he hissed.

“Fine I guess I’ll fix Dabi up first” 

Shigaraki shoots Dabi a look of incredulity and annoyance, to which Dabi only raises his eyebrows and shrugs as he takes another swig of his beer. You set down the first aid kit and grab the extra stuff you bought at the store. 

“Do you even know how to do first aid?” Dabi asks, watching you rummage for supplies. 

“Yes. I had to get certified in order to work at a summer camp, so don’t worry I know what I’m doing. Although I’m not much help if it’s anything more than stitches. Of course unless you’re drowning or need CPR” 

“Okay I get it” he said, taking another sip. 

“Can you roll up your sleeves so I can see the cuts?” You turned to dampen a towel in the sink, and when you turned back around you were not expecting to be faced with a shirtless Dabi. You paused for a second, staring, before you heard Shigaraki ‘tch’ snapping you out of simp shock. You shook your head and started to address the wounds to Dabi’s arm and shoulder. 

“(another name that’s close to Y/N) it’s time you answered some of my questions” Shigaraki said while sipping on his beer and propping his leg up on another chair. 

“ It’s Y/N. Also if your gonna put your feet up at least take off your shoes” 

“Whatever Princess” he said snarkily, dramatically kicking off his shoes. It took you a second to register the pet name he had just called you. No get your mind out of the gutter this is the real them, not the fanon fanfiction them. You continued to wipe away the dirt and grime surrounding Dabi’s wounds. 

“So... we were recognized earlier by those stupid kids. Just how popular is this show you say we’re from” 

“Umm that’s kinda hard to say since it’s within a specific genre but within that genre I’d say very popular, maybe one of the most currently” 

“How do we fit into this show?” 

“Well you’re the main antagonist as the leader of the League of Villains. The show introduces you through the USJ attack in season 1” 

“What about me?” Dabi asks. 

“Oh.. well you don’t come in till season 3 I think. Wait actually I think it’s the end of season 2 after the Hosu incident” 

A small chuff came from Shigaraki, no doubt in whatever pride there was in being a more prominent character. 

“Do you guys have any idea how you got to this world?” You asked. 

“Hey I’m asking the questions here, but no. We were on an important recruiting mission when it turned ugly. I called for Kurogiri and we ran through his portal and you know the rest” 

“Did you know any of the quirks you were battling against?” 

“One guy had a weak poison quirk but I took him out in the beginning.” Dabi stated flatly. 

“The two guys in front both had strength related quirks I think,” Shigaraki continued. 

“There was that one tall girl in the back behind the pillar. Could have been hers but who knows” 

“Hmmm….maybe somehow a quirk mixed with Kurogiri’s. Sorry this next part might sting a little” You said this last part to Dabi dabbing some rubbing alcohol onto the cuts to which he made no verbal reaction but his muscles tensed at the cold stinging. 

“So you said the main character was the green haired brat right? So what’s the plot as you say? Why is it all about him and the heroes?”

You pause for a moment thinking. Is it okay to tell him this? He is a villain. Are there consequences to other characters? 

“Hello?” 

“Sorry...um basically the show starts with All Might choosing him to be his successor as the number one hero. Then it follows him through his path from being weak and quirkless to his journey through UA. That’s when you guys come in as the villains with all your attacks on the school and students” 

“What do you mean quirkless? Green top has an annoyingly powerful quirk.” Dabi questions. 

“Yeah… he defeated Muscular and that Overhaul bastard” Shigaraki continues. 

Screw it. 

“Well All Might gave his quirk to Midoriya” 

Shigaraki’s eyes widened in interest, but kept silent in his thought process. 

A few minutes pass in silence and you finish patching up Dabi and handing him a mirror so he can fix his own staples. He claimed to be pretty good at it now. You move the first aid stuff over to the table where Shigaraki sat. 

“Your turn” you say looking down at his leg. He looked up at you defiantly. 

“What are you not wearing boxers? Or do you not want me to treat it?” You said pulling a chair to where his leg was resting. He rolled his eyes but stood up and undid his belt and pulled down his black jeans. He was wearing red boxers that looked a size too big as they hung loosely around his lean muscles. You made sure not to stare after being caught earlier. You started to repeat the same process you did on Dabi but Shigaraki was much more vocal about the discomfort you caused as you cleaned the wound. 

“You’re cut is deeper. It’s gonna need stitches if you want it to heal properly”

“Whatever” he said in response.“I wanna know more about how people here see us. That kid back there said I was his favorite character. How do people see us in the show” 

“Well it depends. Everyone has their favorite characters for different reasons” 

“Yea...yea.. answer the question” 

“Fine. Most people like you as a villain and as a character. However you’re seen as childish.” A chuckle from Dabi that earned him a death glare. “Dabi you’re more popular and your past is a rather hot topic for fans. However both of you are pretty popular in the fandom. Does that answer your question.” 

“What do you mean popular in the fandom?” 

“Well you know like fan theories, fanart, fanfiction, etc. A lot of people like you guys. However a lot of it is fan theories, guesses, and headcanons, but people don’t actually know” you said threading the needle for the stitches. 

“What kind of theories?” Shigaraki asks hesitantly

“Well for example for a long time it wasn’t actually stated that Dabi was the missing Todoroki child but fans believed it so much that it was basically thought of as fact, and then it became truth. Other theories are less intense like Dabi again for example is presumed that his favorite food is hot soba and yours is junk food or hand food like chips and stuff.” 

“How the fuck do you people figure these things out?” Shigaraki asked, wincing at the pinch of the needle. 

“Well the food thing was because you have the thing with hands so hand food” 

“That’s so stupid” He hissed. 

“But is it wrong?” You asked, already knowing the answer based on the grocery trip. 

“Tch––” 

“Why hot soba for patchwork overthere?” 

“Oh because it was revealed that Todoroki, I mean Shoto’s favorite food is cold soba and the whole brothers thing. People connected dots” 

“That’s so stupid” Dabi was the one who spoke this time. 

“And again were they wrong?” You looked up at him raising your eyebrows knowingly. 

“Also those aren’t even the stupid ones. People make up the weirdest shit, some as jokes, others as forms of comfort or just for imagination’s sake. Okay you’re all done.” You say  standing up and clearing away the dirty gauze and other first aid supplies. Shigaraki pulls his dirty and bloodstained pants back up over his neatly bandaged leg. You take all the first aid stuff back to the bathroom and return a little bit later to find Shigaraki and Dabi arguing over who knows what.  You hear some words like ‘She’ and ‘think’, so you assume they’re talking about you but just as before they stop when you walk back into the room.

“So I set out some towels in the bathroom along with some old clothes my ex boyfriend and my brother left here. They may not be the best fit sorry but it’ll do. If you leave your clothes in the laundry basket I’ll throw them in the wash tomorrow” 

“I call dibs on the shower first” Dabi said, hopping off the counter. 

“Bastard” Shigaraki muttered.