#my evelyn-assigned boyfriend :3

[mapofthemazeinthemirror]

I want to pinch Beomgyu's cheeks.

[acosmicdisappointment]

— wesley.

is that JONAH HAUER-KING? oh, no, that’s WESLEY GRAHAM, a TWENTY-SEVEN year old SALES ASSOCIATE AT INHERITED ESCAPES/GHOSTWRITER who uses HE/HIM pronouns. they currently live in CASABLANCA COMMUNE, and the character they identify with most is MILO THATCH FROM ATLANTIS: LOST EMPIRE. hopefully they find their own little paradise here in el país de los poetas!

BASICS.

FULL NAME. ellis wesley graham NICKNAME(S). wesley, wes, ellis (hates it and knows someone is mad at him when they use this) AGE/BIRTHDAY/ZODIAC. 27 / july 1st / cancer SEXUALITY. heterosexual BIRTHPLACE. london, england HEIGHT. 6’1” EYE COLOR. blue ILLNESSES/CONDITIONS. lover boy with abandonment issues TATTOOS/PIERCINGS/SCARS. half compass on his forearm (right), a lily on his wrist in honor of his grandmother's birth flower (left) FC. jonah hauer-king

PERSONALITY.

empathetic sweet reliable insecure sensitive paranoid

HISTORY.

tw: parental abandonment, mentions of death — Barely a year old, Wes and his older sister, age 5, were left in their grandmother's care when their parents decided they couldn't handle the responsibilities of parenthood. No explanation of why they just up and left. The absence of any explanation or farewell left a lingering sense of abandonment and confusion, with no closure even as they grew older. — Growing up in a quaint London flat, Wes found solace in Evelyn's nightly stories, which not only sparked his lifelong love for literature but also served as a balm for the parental love they lacked. Despite this, the void left by their parents' absence often made Wes question his own worthiness of love. — Wes was just 16 years old when Evelyn passed away, and it was his sister who stepped up to provide the support and care he needed, continuing the nurturing environment their grandmother had created. — To help make ends meet, Wes turned to ghostwriting, initially starting with academic papers for peers at university and gradually expanding his scope of work. His talent in writing became a source of income and stability. — Despite his skill and potential for success as an author, Wes chose to remain a ghostwriter, fearing the pressures and intrusions of fame that accompany being a published writer. Also if he became famous his parents might come knocking on his door or something, no thank you. — After graduating, Wes and his sister went their separate ways, but not before getting matching tattoos; a half compass symbolizing their belief that no matter where life took them, they would always find their way back to each other. — Valparaíso has been Wes's home for nearly two years now, where he has found employment as a sales associate at Inherited Escapes.

EXTRAS.

to read to see to listen

HEADCANONS.

— the type you would bring home to mama <3 — would ALWAYS open doors for you (will get sad if you didn't let him) — has a goodreads account (@grahamreads) — is a bad texter (if you wanna talk to him you gotta do it in person) — a little too nice and most people tend to misinterpret his kindness for something more — book boyfriend coded — has assigned mugs specifically for tea and coffee — believes in the traditional way of courting (i.e., writing letters, serenading, sending flowers)

WANTED CONNECTIONS/PLOTS.

inner circle — this boy needs friends! wes is definitely the designated driver whenever they go out hello darling — regulars at inherited escapes (word on the street he is responsible for an increase in sales; would need more research to prove this) woman of his dreams — wes is my ultimate dream boy and anyone would be so lucky to have him as a partner pls snatch him up more tbd! just slide into my dms to plot

[kanazawa-division]

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of Justice.”

Timeline

Age 0:

Is born to Christopher Aaron and Marie Clover in Los Angeles, CA

Age 6:

Meets Evelyn Rose and immediately becomes friends after he saves her from getting sprayed by a skunk.

Age 8:

█ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █

Cracks his skull and falls into a coma

Age 12:

Awakes from his coma, frightened and distraught.

Age 13:

Finds out his father has been killed and his mother has disappeared, becomes depressed and even more distraught.

Age 14:

Discharged from the hospital and is placed in an orphanage.

Starts high school.

Reunites with Evelyn and meets her boyfriend, Ace Douglas.

Joins the soccer team.

Age 16:

Gets together with his girlfriend, Roxanne Thompson after a rigged game of 7 minutes in heaven.

Age 18:

Graduates high school and attends university on a scholarship to study criminal justice.

Age 22:

Graduates university with a bachelors in criminal justice, starts training at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia.

█ █ █ █ █ █ █ █

Age 23:

Becomes an official FBI agent, quickly rising in the ranks and becomes one of the very best, even the president is impressed by his skills.

Age 24:

Receives the assignment to gather info and take down “The Commission”

Age 25:

Proposes to Roxanne Thompson.

Receives an anonymous message stating that his mother is seen alive in Japan.

Is given the order by the president to go to Japan to bodyguard his son and Ambassador of the U.S. to Japan, Ace Douglas.

Flies to Japan and lands in Kanazawa where he meets Wataru Sasaki and Joey Kurusu.

Age 26:

Present.

Participates in Division Rap Battles along with Wataru Sasaki and Joey Kurusu, becomes 2nd member of Kanazawa Division’s Justice Shield.

Schedule

12 a.m. - 6 a.m.: Asleep

6 a.m. - 7 a.m.: Freshens up + Morning run

7 a.m. - 8 a.m.: Breakfast

8 a.m. - 9:30 a.m.: Takes train to Okinawa

9:30 a.m. - 10 a.m.: Arrives at Eagle’s Nest.

10 a.m. - 12 p.m.: Accompanies Ace to Chuuoku.

12 p.m. - 3:30 p.m.: Waits outside while Ace is in conferences.

3:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m.: Late lunch

4:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.: Waits outside again while Ace is in more conferences.

6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.: Accompanies Ace back to Okinawa.

8:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.: Reports to the president

9:30 p.m. - 11 p.m.: Takes train back to Kanazawa

11 p.m. - 11:30 p.m.: Returns home

11:30 p.m. - 12 a.m.: Dinner

Character Hashtags

Regular Hashtags

#IRL MIB

#Best of the best

#Proud American

Trauma Hashtags

#What really happened that day?

#Where are you, mom?

#Those eyes…I’ll never forget them

Other Info

Hobby: Playing soccer

Weakness: Difficult to trust

Trauma: “My parents were ripped away from me.”

Twitter: @AK23

Drinks: Yes

Smokes: Yes

Special Skill: “I can easily switch to different languages while talking.”

Intro Quote: “It is my duty and my honor to serve my country.”

Trauma Quote: “W-where am I? Where’s my dad?! I want my parents! Dad?! Mom?!”

[okinawa-division]

"Success is most often achieved by those who don't know failure is inevitable."

Timeline

Age 0:

He is born the third and last child to Byron and Monica Douglas in Los Angeles, CA.

Age 6:

He gets introduced to football, after watching it on T.V., starting his love for the sport.

He dreams of becoming a professional football player.

Age 8:

He asks his parents to sign him up for a football camp. They agree, provided he doesn't drop out halfway through.

He becomes one of the best players in the camp.

Age 9:

He meets his grandfather, Luther Douglas, who he immediately bonds with.

His grandfather instills in him stories of Japan and the war, starting his dislike for the country.

Age 14:

His father pulls him out of football camp the summer before he starts high school.

He starts high school.

He joins the school's football team, despite his father's opposition.

He meets his future girlfriend, Evelyn Rose, and her childhood friend, Kyler Aaron.

Age 15:

After a high school game, Evelyn asks him out on a date. He accepts.

After a few more dates, they officially become boyfriend and girlfriend.

Age 16:

His grandfather sadly passes away, making him detest Japan even more.

His death leaves a hole in Ace's heart, making him severely depressed.

His mother schedules him an appointment with a psychiatrist, which helps.

He recovers after a month of talks with his doctor.

Age 17:

He graduates high school with Evelyn and Kyler.

He plans to attend university on a scholarship for football, but his father forces him to take politics instead, causing a schism between the two of them.

He reluctantly takes classes in politics and government.

Age 21:

He graduates from university with a Bachelor's in political science.

His father makes it known that he is running for U.S. president.

Ace helps him, though he doesn't at all care if his father wins or not.

His father instructs him and his siblings to conduct themselves properly so his enemies don't use them against him.

Age 23:

In a very close race, his father manages to win the election, becoming the President of the United States.

He meets Kyler again and is surprised to see him as an FBI agent.

He spends most of his time with his mother, helping her with her projects, so as not to be around his father.

Age 24:

After hearing that Chuohku has taken over Japan, his father comes up with a plan to make America stronger.

Though there are better candidates, he appoints Ace as America's Ambassador to Japan, wanting him to create an alliance between the two countries, much to Ace's chagrin.

Ace agrees, on the promise that his father will not be involved in his life ever again once this assignment is over. His father reluctantly agrees.

A few days before he departs, Evelyn contacts him and asks to come with him for support. He agrees.

They both fly to Okinawa in Japan. The hotel they were supposed to stay in is, unfortunately, being renovated.

They meet Rashaad Young, owner of the Eagle's Nest, who allows them to stay in his bar.

Age 25:

Present.

Otome Tohoten, Prime Minister of Japan, agrees to an alliance but wishes Ace to join the D.R.B. He reluctantly agrees.

He meets Kyler, who, per his father's orders, arrives in Japan to serve as Ace's official bodyguard, much to his chagrin.

He forms the Okinawa Division rap battle team, Liberty Guild, alongside Evelyn Rose and Rashaad Young.

Schedule

12 a.m. - 7:30 a.m.: Asleep

7:30 a.m. - 9 a.m.: Freshens up

9 a.m. - 10 a.m.: Eats breakfast

10 a.m. - 12 p.m.: Head to Chuohku

12 p.m. - 3:30 p.m.: In conferences

3:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m.: Late lunch

4:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.: More conferences

6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.: Return home to Okinawa

8:30 p.m. - 10 p.m.: Drinking and eating dinner at Eagle's Nest

10 p.m. - 11 p.m.: Reporting in to his father

11 p.m. - 12 a.m.: Free time (Spends time with Evelyn)

Character Hashtags

Regular Hashtags

#American Badass

#Never forget you, Gramps

#Son of the president

Trauma Hashtags

#You left me too soon

#Stuck in a place I hate

#A tool in my father's plan

Other Info

Hobby: Playing pool

Weakness: Very stubborn

Trauma: "My grandfather died too soon for my liking."

Twitter: @TheAceintheHole

Drinks: Yes

Smokes: No

Special Skill: "I'm pretty good at arm-wrestling. I've yet to find someone who can beat me."

Intro Quote: "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Trauma Quote: "They're the cause of your death... I'll never forgive them!"

Inspired by @uenodivision

[heartslogos]

the declassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [47]

(304): If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.

-

(239): Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.

-

“I don’t even know where to start on this one,” Evelyn says, “Max. You can’t just text me things like this when I’m in the middle of meetings. You know I can’t just skip out on talking to the royal emissary of Antiva just because you send me a very worrisome text message that I shouldn’t have even been looking at.”

“Yeah, why were you looking at that? I thought Josephine confiscates your phone for meetings with important people.”

“She forgot because she was catching up with some members of the visiting party. That’s not important. Stop trying to distract me.”

“I’m giving you time to figure out where you want to start on this,” Max replies. “Maybe you don’t need to start in on me at all. I mean. I did text you about an hour later saying that everything’s fine.”

“That means for about an hour you were in a situation where things might not have been fine.” Evelyn attempts to pinch her cousin, but he deftly dodges out of the way from years of practice. “First of all. I don’t want your personal library. It’s probably the most boring collection I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“That’s an insult to Varric. A good portion of them are his. Or written by people he’d recommend.”

“Varric can take an insult. He’s probably used to it. And the rest of your collection is just really bad mystery novels. Or worse. Really bad romance novels. Like. Really bad. A million euphemisms for penis bad.” Evelyn jabs her finger at Maxwell’s face. “Do not. Start.”

Maxwell blinks innocently at his cousin. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Start what?”

“You damn well know, Max. You damn well know. Also. You were not part of Sigma Tau Delta. I would’ve known. You definitely weren’t president of Sigma Tau Delta.”

“We went to different schools.”

“Both of them had chapters of Sigma Tau Delta!”

“You weren’t in Sigma Tau Delta, so how would you know.”

“Because I know you, and if you were president of Sigma Tau Delta your parents wouldn’t have shut up about it. This wouldn’t be my first time hearing about it. And finally what puppy.”

“My puppy. You know. A baby dog? A wee little wiggle of a dog? A smaller version of that beautiful beast that’s fallen in love with your boyfriend and earned his love and heart in a way you can never hope to even coming close to?”

“If what happened in the past hour wasn’t enough to kill you I just might. Max. I swear to Andraste. You don’t have a puppy.”

“Stop telling me what I don’t have. I don’t have a book collection, I don’t have a presidency, now I don’t have a puppy.”

“You’re about to have no pulse if you keep up like that.”

-

“Again. I have…so many questions. Thank you for not murdering a bunch of kids in the middle of the night.”

“Morning. Technically it was morning,” Mahanon examines his nails. “You’re welcome.”

“I’m glad to know that even your skewed sense of logic tells you that you shouldn’t bring your wrath down upon teenagers.”

“I didn’t say teenagers. I said kids. If they were above the age of fifteen I would’ve opened with a warning swipe at their ankles. At sixteen they should know better than to try and fuck with a car with Inquisition branding all over it and I would’ve gone for the hands. At sixteen I try them as adults.”

“You aren’t…you aren’t a court of law.”

“I’m the one with the sword and the incredibly opaque international intelligence agency erasing my identity whenever I make a single move,” Mahanon points out. “You’re right. I am not a court of law. I am the law.”

“Maker’s sighs and Andraste’s tears, pray for me.”

“If I pray for you it’s not going to be to them, Evelyn.”

“Where are these kids now?”

“You assume I know?”

“I know you know, because I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t just let those kids go. Where are they?”

“Getting a lecture from Cassandra.”

“Wait — Cassandra? Why Cassandra?”

“Because she got there right as I was about to begin instilling a deep and profound awareness of their own fragile mortality into them and being…Cassandra Pentaghast…she took over to spare them. She’s gotten soft.”

“Why was Cassandra there?”

“Who’s sword did you think I was using?”

“One of yours!”

“Don’t be dumb, Evelyn. I don’t carry around a sword. I’m a covert agent.”

“Cassandra doesn’t carry a sword around either.”

“She does when I ask her to.”

“Why did you ask her to bring a sword?”

“Do you just not read any of our assignments? Any of our projects? Cassandra was my security detail last night. She was just securing something else at the time. So I borrowed her sword in order to make sure our car wasn’t getting its tires slashed or having a bomb rigged underneath it.”

“Wait a second.”

“What?”

“This happened at three in the morning?”

“Yes.”

“Why do we still have those kids in our custody? How long is this lecture? Are we holding them? In our cells?”

“You need to stop asking me these questions. Do you think my care for these interlopers extended anytime beyond after seeing Cassandra swoop down upon them like a hawk or falcon onto field mice? No. As soon as they were in her clutches they fell beyond my acknowledgement. All I know is that they’re with her and since she’s Cassandra she would tell me if they were no longer in her care and she has not informed me of such. You could go find her and ask her about it.”

“Why do you text me these things if you don’t want to talk to me about them?”

“I did talk to you about them. It was the text. I didn’t realize you needed further detail. And I texted you because you told me to text you whenever something is bothering me. Those kids bothered me. I texted you. Did you want an entire dossier on their life stories and poor decisions leading up to that very moment?”

[fivestarjamz]

“Baby Be Mine” by Michael Jackson (1982)

There was a quote attributed to Chris Rock, in which the conversation revolved around Prince being a better musician than Michael Jackson (he is.) When comparing the albums that represented the commercial peaks for each (Mike’s Thriller and Prince’s Purple Rain), Rock’s reasoning for picking Purple Rain as the better of the two albums (it is) was that there was no filler on it. Rock specifically quoted Thriller’s “Baby Be Mine” as one of the tracks that constituted “filler”, and a lot of folks assume Mike and his record company felt similarly as, “Baby Be Mine” was one of only two songs from Thriller that never made it to single release.

I’ll get to why I think Mr. Grown-Ups 2 is wrong in a paragraph or two, but I decided to do my own side-by-side comparison of the two albums. Don’t worry, I won’t give up any spoilers for the rest of this list (except to say that there will be additional songs from Thriller plus two songs from Purple Rain on this list before I get out of the “B” titles. Everything I say is, of course, subjective.

Thriller has 9 songs. Purple Rain also has 9 songs. 7 of the 9 songs on Thriller are rated 5 stars in my iTunes library. 7 of the 9 songs on Purple Rain are also rated 5 stars in my iTunes library. Here’s where things veer off: the other 2 songs on Purple Rain are songs I’ve assigned 4-star ratings to. The two non-5 star songs on Thriller have 3-star ratings. And one of those is a negligible three, a goodwill/treasured childhood memories “3″. So, sure. Purple Rain’s a better album (in mine and Chris’s opinion), but “Baby Be Mine” has nothing to do with that.

Here are a few reasons why I love “Baby Be Mine”, starting from the beginning.

-That stutter-step drum intro is fucking killer.

-1982 was such a great year for Black music--Thriller, 1999, What Time Is It?, Vanity 6’s debut, Marvin’s Midnight Love, Lionel’s solo debut, Evelyn King’s Get Loose, “D” Train’s debut, Diana’s “Muscles”,  the new songs from Stevie’s Original Musicquarium, “Planet Rock”, “The Message”, Grace Jones’ Living My Life, Janet’s (underrated) debut, Shalamar’s Friends, Luther’s Forever For Always For Love, The Dazz Band’s “Let It Whip”. Thriller is at the head of the table, of course (or at least Mike shares it with Prince), and really, the worst thing you can say about “Baby Be Mine” is that it sounds like an R&B record from 1982. Which, looking at that list of titles above, is not a bad thing, at all.

-Quincy’s told a (probably apocryphal) story about how the vocal melody of “Baby Be Mine” was inspired by John Coltrane. We can’t verify whether that’s true or not (because Rod Temperton, who wrote the song, is deceased), but it’s true that the verse melody has a bit of a jazzy feel to it. Also, is Q the music industry king of tall tales, or what? I mean, it’s Quincy, so he has the right to spin stories however the hell he wants. But why does my man have to take every story and add bells and whistles to it?

-I’ve often wondered if MJ’s voice was occasionally sped up in the mix on certain songs (“Lovely One”, “Beat It”). “Baby Be Mine” is one of those songs that makes me wonder about that. Even if there was some studio trickery involved (small potatoes compared to the vocal manipulation that goes on these days), the fact is that Mike sung the shit out of “Baby Be Mine”. He uses his entire vocal range (minus falsetto), dipping into his lower register in the middle of each verse line (for example: “there’ll be no more mountains for us to climb” finds MJ starting in his normal register, descending furthest during the last syllable of “mountains” and then climbing up high enough that his voice sounds like it’s going to crack at “climb”.) He even gets raspy during the song’s bridge.

-The background vocals. No one does backgrounds like Mike and Janet.

-Key change during the last chorus! That’s a Quincy trademark.

-The countermelody in the last set of choruses. I’m a big fan of countermelodies.

P.S.: I’m pretty sure that “Baby Be Mine” was the song that was playing on the late winter afternoon in 1983 when I walked into my house and realized that we’d purchased a copy of Thriller. I was so excited I tripped going up the stairs. While I have tripped going up (and down) stairs a number of times since then, that is the only one of these particular pratfalls I can attribute to the magic of Michael Jackson.

Four-star songs between “B.O.B.” and “Baby Be Mine”: “B.O.B. (Battery-Operated Boyfriend)” (Raheem DeVaughn, 2010) | “B.O.S.T.O.N.” (Bleu, 2010) | “B.U.D.D.Y.” (Musiq Soulchild, 2007) | “B.Y.O.B. “System Of A Down, 2001) | “Babe” (Styx, 1979) | “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You” (Led Zeppelin, 1969) | “Babe We’re Gonna Love Tonight” (Lime, 1982*) | “Babies” (Ashford & Simpson, 1982) | “Babies Making Babies” (Sly & The Family Stone, 1973) | “Baby” (Prince, 1978) | “Baby” (The Roots, 2006) | “Baby” (Angie Stone feat. Betty Wright, 2007) | “Baby As You Turn Away” (Bee Gees, 1975) | “Baby Baby” (Amy Grant, 1991)

*-semi-seriously reconsidering moving this up to five stars