#my estimated age by most strangers is about 3 years older

[lavellanfriendliness]

sa tw in the tags. just need to get it out idk

[shanastoryteller]

Saw your post mentioning reading your favorite poems and I was wondering what they were? I've never really liked poems but I really liked that one by Emily Dickson you put in the front of that teen wolf fic so you probably have really good taste in poems, and I've been trying to find some to like.

Good Bones by Maggie Smith

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.Life is short, and I’ve shortened minein a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,a thousand deliciously ill-advised waysI’ll keep from my children. The world is at leastfifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservativeestimate, though I keep this from my children.For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,sunk in a lake. Life is short and the worldis at least half terrible, and for every kindstranger, there is one who would break you,though I keep this from my children. I am tryingto sell them the world. Any decent realtor,walking you through a real shithole, chirps onabout good bones: This place could be beautiful,right? You could make this place beautiful.

~

Because I could not stop for Death (479)

Emily Dickinson

Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me – The Carriage held but just Ourselves – And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no hasteAnd I had put awayMy labor and my leisure too,For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children stroveAt Recess – in the Ring – We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain – We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us – The Dews drew quivering and chill – For only Gossamer, my Gown – My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemedA Swelling of the Ground – The Roof was scarcely visible – The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yetFeels shorter than the DayI first surmised the Horses’ HeadsWere toward Eternity –

~

this one is an old nursery rhyme:

One bright day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. They turned their backs and faced each other, Drew their swords and shot the other. One was blind and the other couldn’t see, So they chose a fool for their referee. A mute eyewitness screamed with fright.A cripple danced to see the sight. A deaf policeman heard the noise.He came and shot the two dead boys.A paralyzed donkey passing by,Kicked the copper in the eye, And knocked him through a rubber wall, Into a ditch and drowned them all.If you don’t believe this lie is true,Ask the blind man. He saw it too.

~

She swearsshe will nevergive birthto a daughter.Won’t evenplant a garden.— Adira Bennett

~

Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.Good men, the last wave by, crying how brightTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,Do not go gentle into that good night.Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sightBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.Do not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

~

My mouth is a fire escape.The words coming outdon’t care that they are naked.There is something burning in here.

— Andrea Gibson

~

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

By Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weepI am not there; I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow,I am the diamond glints on snow,I am the sun on ripened grain,I am the gentle autumn rain.When you awaken in the morning’s hushI am the swift uplifting rushOf quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.

~

Never regret thy fall,O Icarus of the fearless flightFor the greatest tragedy of them allIs never to feel the burning light

— Oscar Wilde

~

Annabel Lee BY EDGAR ALLAN POEIt was many and many a year ago,   In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know   By the name of Annabel Lee; And this maiden she lived with no other thought   Than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child,   In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love—   I and my Annabel Lee— With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven   Coveted her and me. And this was the reason that, long ago,   In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling   My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsmen came   And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre   In this kingdom by the sea. The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,   Went envying her and me— Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,   In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night,   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee. But our love it was stronger by far than the love   Of those who were older than we—   Of many far wiser than we— And neither the angels in Heaven above   Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,   In her sepulchre there by the sea—   In her tomb by the sounding sea.

~

self-parodies & psalms for shit-scared twenty-somethings by gyzm

is perhaps my favorite poem and just gut punches me whenever i read it but they are a tumblr person who’s poem deserves more attention so please reblog/comment on their poem directly :)

1.

most of what i’ve learned in the first half of my twenties is to embrace statistics i’m not smart enough to verify; theones about black holes and how much of the universe is justempty space: between atoms and from one planet to another.it makes it easier, to stare at my overcrowded sink and thinkthat to get from the floor of this filthy kitchen to the neareststar would take more lifetimes than i could borrow or steal.maybe there is a single withered raspberry molding beneath every single plate i own but in the scheme of things that’s insignificant, a non-event in the life of a non-event, and so canwait until tomorrow, when this hangover is gone.

2.

please, god, don’t let me die before i turn thirty. i’ve heardthat that’s when it all comes together, and i know those’re allfish stories, probably, the lies of those who need to pretend justlike me, but hell, i choose to believe. because the thing is, god, if idie tomorrow, a few years from now, i can pretty much guarantee it’ll be in torn underpants, on a bad hair day, in a bra that doesn’t fitthe way i’d like it to; please, god, don’t let me die before i work outhow to drag myself out of bed in time to dry my hair every morning. i’vebeen promising myself for years i’d learn to get off the couch on monday nights and do laundry, god, okay, i don’t mind living in dirty jeans but i don’t want to die in them, i’m begging, i thank you, i’m sorry, amen.

3.

there should be a page at the back of every baby book thatsays “baby’s first moment of cold realization that they are an gigantic shitheaded asshole.” it’s important, as milestones go. iknow it’s not as glamorous as a first word or a graduation but i’dargue that developmentally, it means at least as much — god knows i put more thought into the bleak portrait of myself at two a.m., staring haggard out from the filmy surface of my mirror, than i did in my ham-fisted infant attempts to say my father’s name. it would benice, is all, to have a warning, to flip through pages of childhood accomplishments and see that placeholder, at the end; to know that the future was coming, inevitably, to make dipshits of us all.

4.

don’t put liquid soap in the dishwasher. don’t put your vibrator in the dishwasher. don’t forget that your mother is coming over until fifteen minutes before she shows up and put every scrap ofevidence that you are a disaster zone living underneath a veneerof overdone eye makeup and slapdash dreams of better tomorrowsin the dishwasher. don’t put your grandmother’s china, that vase you bought at the flea market, a bowl half-full of aged guacamole,in the dishwasher. on the mornings that will keep coming — when the shower does not seem like enough, when you can feel your long history of mistakes pockmarking your face and oozing out from beneath your armpits — don’t put yourself in the dishwasher.

5.

the human body replaces skin cells so quickly that two weeks from now, every part of me will be brand new, and i will still feel as though i have spent my first quarter-century on this planet touching both too much and not enough. that feels profound atthis moment but the human body replaces humiliations fastereven than skin; two weeks from now i will remember saying this,stare at the ceiling above my bed and think: no one has ever been as big of an asshole as you are. there are billions of stars in our galaxy and billions of galaxies in our universe and my ceiling is the only clean part of my apartment. i know it’s a fish story, but c’mon, god, okay — i’m just asking to believe i’ll make it to thirty better dressed; less selfish.

[lovemesomerafael]

No One Else                              Chapter 3:  Turning Up The Heat

Source: @sherrykinss​

Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Read It On AO3

It takes three days, but the guy on trial is convicted. He gets two consecutive life sentences. It’s a stunning victory for the prosecution and it makes great headlines, which means that the DA, One PP, and a whole lot of people with “Chief” in their titles are happy.  The big shots get to take a victory lap in front of the national press and the FBI, and they’re making the most of it.  They find as many cameras as possible in time to make the evening news, and by five p.m. there are a lot of satisfied people around Foley Square. They take over Maxwell’s.  Because it also happens to be a Friday, things get a little out of hand.  Even Vanessa Hadid overindulges a little bit (to be fair, she hasn’t been sleeping or eating much, as usual for her during a trial) and Sonny finds himself standing in front of DA Jack McCoy’s table with Ms. Hadid’s arm around his neck.  It’s uncomfortable in a number of ways, not least of which is that he’s a lot taller than she is, so his choices are to bend over or be strangled.

“This guy,” she enthuses to McCoy, planting a sloppy kiss on Sonny’s cheek.  “He’s gonna be a star.”

McCoy is only marginally less uncomfortable than Sonny, but Sonny sees the comment register with him.  “Well done, Mr. Carisi,” McCoy says.  

Holy shit, the DA knows who I am!  I can’t wait to tell Kate about this.  He wonders again where Kate is, and hopes she’ll make the party.  They’d decided to wait until the verdict came in for her promised post-trial visit, and she’s due any time.  She didn’t know when she’d be able to leave the station, so the plan is for her to toss some clothes at Sonny’s apartment and meet him here.  

Sonny sees Olivia Benson and Dean Porter through a break in the crowd.  He wonders again whether there’s anything between them and has a split second to register their very friendly body language before the crowd blocks his view and Ms. Hadid drops an F-bomb.  She’s not drunk enough to miss the looks on some faces at the DA’s table, so she mercifully lets go of Sonny to excuse herself to talk to someone across the room. Sonny excuses himself awkwardly and leaves the table, too.

He thinks he’ll say hello to Benson and Porter, so he’s making his way toward them when he spots Kate, just inside the door, looking helplessly around for a familiar face.  Her hair is in a knot at the back of her neck and he really likes the way loose tendrils have escaped around her face.  She looks so pretty standing there, he’s sure he would have noticed her even if she were a stranger.  She’s wearing a casual dress made of some soft material in a muted green pattern he really likes, and he especially likes that the dress shows off her long legs and has an open neckline that is just slightly on the right side of appropriate.  She sees him when he gets to within about ten feet of her, and slips around a group of people to meet him with a hug and a kiss. He wants to kiss her more, and he plans to, but first he wants to show her off.

Sonny leads Kate across the bar, which takes some time due to the raucous crowd, toward a table where some of his colleagues and a number of the support staff from his office are laughing and carrying on.  Most of them are younger than Sonny and Kate are, but it’s clear they really like Sonny.  He introduces Kate to everyone, a proprietary arm around her waist.  When he gets to Mary Duderon, Kate tries to be as friendly as possible, making sure she knows that Kate recognizes her from their previous meeting.  It doesn’t work.  Mary minimally acknowledges her and doesn’t make eye contact.  Kate sees a couple of guys standing close by exchange an amused look.

Sonny introduces Kate to them last, because they’re standing next to him, at the end of the circle of people he’s just introduced to Kate. She despairs of remembering any of their names, but these two guys she’s heard of, because they’re the guys with whom Sonny shares Mary as an assistant.  The three of them have also bonded over the long hours and pressures of being fairly new ADAs.  

Maurice Mikhail is the shorter of the two.  He’s dark-skinned, but his ethnicity isn’t readily apparent from his looks or his name.   His wide, open smile makes him look like a guy who is always looking for a laugh, and Kate thinks he looks just like Sonny’s description of him.  Scott Lam looks a few years older than Maurice, and seems a bit more serious.  His features have a definite Asian look, although he looks like he’s multiracial. He shakes Kate’s hand and looks into her eyes as he greets her.  Somebody taught this guy nice manners, Kate thinks.  

Sonny leaves Kate with Maurice and Scott and goes to get her a glass of wine.  Maurice starts right in.  He looks over his shoulder to see that everyone around the big table has resumed conversations among themselves.  None of the individual conversations is discernable from the others in the din of the packed bar.

“So how do you know the Dude Ranch?”  He asks, amusement all over his face as he tosses his head to indicate the table.  

Kate knows he’s talking about Mary.  Sonny has told her that, around the office, Mary’s surname has been turned into a nickname of sorts behind her back.  Many of the more junior ADAs call her Sister Mary Dude Ranch, because she really does bear many of the stereotypical characteristics of the type of woman who used to be called a spinster, including the fact that she has several cats.  But Kate is offended on Mary’s behalf and doesn’t appreciate the casual cruelty, especially toward a skilled woman whose job makes theirs possible.  

“I beg your pardon?”  She asks, her tone intentionally icy.

Scott breaks in.  “Don’t listen to him.  He’s an imbecile.  He’s part of the DA’s program for special needs lawyers.  What he means is, it seems like you know our assistant, Mary.”

Kate smiles at Scott, hoping that in some way, she’s sent a bit of a signal.  “Oh, Mary.  We met a couple of weeks ago.  Sonny says she’s pretty good.”  

Maurice elbows Scott in the side, and Kate revises her estimate of his age down a bit.  

“She is.  We appreciate her,” Scott says, ignoring Maurice.  

They begin to ask Kate about her job, and their questions make it clear Sonny’s been talking about her.  It’s also clear they have a lot of mistaken ideas learned from cop shows. They’re especially interested in Kate’s version of the story of how she and Sonny met.  Sonny appears with drinks for himself and Kate just as Maurice is exclaiming, “I wouldn’t have thought Carisi had that kinda badassery in him.”

Kate is glad to see Sonny.  She’s also glad to see a glass of alcohol with her name on it.  Running into a gunfight to save Sonny made her less nervous than having to hold her own in a room full of strangers she wants to impress for his sake.  Taking a healthy drink, she happens to glance over at the table of Sonny’s coworkers, and notices Mary glaring at her with an expression that reminds Kate of something. It takes her a second to realize that it’s the look on the face of a perp with a low opinion of women when she slaps the cuffs on.  Kate shivers and turns away.

Sonny feels ten feet tall.  He has just won his first big case – OK, he was only second chair, but still – and his bosses are pleased with him.  His SVU squad is proud of him, too.  He feels like he’s on his way, like he may have successfully made the transition to the DA’s office and, until this moment, he hadn’t realized how frightening that leap really had been.  And then there’s Kate.  He still can’t believe she’s here, back in his life, back in his plans, back in his arms. He hasn’t taken his arm from around her all night.  Yes, he wants everyone to see his beautiful girlfriend.  But it’s much more than that.  It’s just so right that she should be here to celebrate this first big win with him.  Having her by his side feels like… He can’t even explain it to himself.  It’s like his life was VHS before, and now it’s Blu-ray.  Or whatever comes after that.  And he’s insanely proud when people recognize her name and comment on her reputation in the NYPD.  It’s a very good night for Sonny Carisi.

They stay at Maxwell’s until after midnight, when the party has pretty much wound down.

Sonny and Kate flop down on his couch immediately upon finally making it to his apartment and pull off their shoes.  They’ve been standing for hours, talking and celebrating and networking.  They’re exhausted and, although they aren’t drunk, they have been steadily sipping drinks all night.  For a few minutes, they just slouch, side by side, heads back on the cushions.  

“That was…  somethin’,” Sonny says.  “I never saw so many mucky-mucks in my life.”

“No kiddin’.  And they were all there to celebrate your win.”  

Sonny chuckles skeptically.  “A small cog in a big machine.”

“Bullshit.  You were sitting right there at the prosecution table.  You questioned - how many witness was it again?  You’re a regular big deal, Baby.  Get used to it.”

Sonny puts a hand on Kate’s thigh.  “I loved havin’ you there tonight.”

Kate puts her hand over his and turns her head where it rests on the cushion to look at him.  “I loved being introduced as your girlfriend.”  

“Was that OK?  I didn’t mean to get ahead of things…”  

“I mean it, Sonny, I loved it.  I wanna be your girlfriend.  And I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“I already am, Katie.  I’m yours.”  

Sonny reaches for her and they don’t come up for air until quite some time later, when Kate has Sonny’s shirt open and untucked, and Sonny has Kate’s dress on the floor.  

“Do you think you can stand any more good news today?” She asks, running her fingers through his hair in a vain attempt to get it back under some control.  He is lying on top of her, looking down at her and playing with her hair, too.  

“I dunno.  It’s been –“ Sonny is on the point of making a joke when he has a thought.  “Holy shit, Kate.  Your transfer came through?”

“You’re making out with the newest Detective in Manhattan South Narcotics.”

For the next five minutes, Sonny stumbles through excited half-sentences, alternating with kisses and hugs, punctuated by excited shouts. He feels drunk in several ways, and finally has to sit up and hold his head in his hands, trying to assimilate all that has happened today.  “This is too much.  I feel like I’m havin’ a dream and I’m gonna wake up in the crib in the SVU squad room with midterms in a week.”  He looks over at her.  “And you in Brooklyn.”

“Nope.  It’s all real.  You’re a big shot and I’m a traitor to Brooklyn North.  The guys stole everything that was in my locker and then filled it with paper from the shredder soaked in beer.”

Sonny laughed.  “That’s cop love.”

“I know.  I’m gonna miss them.  But you’re worth it.”

“I’m gonna remind you of that when you’re in the middle of moving and I break something.”

The rest of the night is a happy blur.  When they get to bed, Kate tells Sonny to lay back and spends what feels like hours touching, stroking, kissing, and licking him everywhere, all the while murmuring compliments and love.  She gives him a spectacular climax, curling a finger inside him; Kate is the only woman he’s ever trusted enough to let her do that.  Sonny has to smile at the memories evoked when he pulls her in to spoon with him and, together, they finger her to orgasm.  It’s a compromise they made back in their Brooklyn days.  She doesn’t always have to come; she likes the idea that sometimes she wears him out. It’s kind of a compliment, actually, if he can’t keep from falling asleep.  But he has a thing about making sure she’s satisfied, too, and this way is quick and efficient, and they’re both happy.  It takes him less than two minutes to fall asleep afterward.  

 *************

Sonny doesn’t find the picture of himself and Kate at Forlini’s.  After a while, he forgets about it because Kate gives him a framed picture of them at Maxwell’s on the night of the verdict celebration.  It’s a great picture, and it’s a reminder of one of the best nights of Sonny’s life.  Unfortunately, it gets knocked off his desk and the glass gets broken.  He assumes it was the cleaning people who broke it, and means to replace the glass, but just hasn’t gotten around to it yet.  He has other pictures of them, too, as the desktop background and screen saver on his computer, so it’s not that big a deal.

Besides which, he has the real Kate, who will be moving to Manhattan this weekend.  They’ve decided that “no pressure” includes not moving in together, at least not now. Neither of them really thinks they won’t be successful in picking up their relationship again, but it kinda makes sense. Besides, Kate was able to sublet a tiny studio apartment from a cop Sonny knows at SVU who’s just moved in with her girlfriend and has most of a year left on her lease.  It’s more expensive than her one-bedroom in Brooklyn, but it’s not too bad, and she’s not expecting to be there much, if things go well with Sonny.

Sonny’s never been one to hide anything, and his friends at work don’t mind hearing about Kate’s impending arrival.  Scott is married and his wife is expecting their first baby, so he’s kind of blasé about the whole thing, but Maurice thinks Sonny is the luckiest SOB on the planet.  He sees Kate as somewhere between Wonder Woman and Beyoncé and, since hearing the story of how they met, has a little bit of hero worship going for Sonny, as well.  The problem is Mary.  Any time she hears Sonny talking about Kate, Sonny has to endure stony silence for the rest of the day.  It’s annoying, but she does a good job, and Sonny doesn’t want to get her into trouble by complaining.

He did once try to talk to her about it.  He asked her to have a seat in one of the chairs before his desk, closed the door, and sat on the edge of his desk, looking down at her.  His intention was to be kind of fatherly, although she was at least his age.  The look on her face as she gazed up at him was almost beatific, which made him even more uncomfortable that he had been to begin with.  But when he began to explain that he’d noticed she sometimes became silent and standoffish with him – he’d decided not to mention Kate – she started to cry.  He tried to console her while standing his ground. She looked at him with puppy eyes awash in tears and a trembling lip.  He tried again, soft-pedaling as best he could.  She wailed.  He said maybe it was his imagination.  She began to hyperventilate.  He panicked, shoved a handful of tissues in her hand and began to apologize profusely and, in the end, promised that he, Sonny, would try to behave better in the future.  

Sonny knows women.  Sonny grew up with three sisters, and they’re all close.  But for the life of him, he can’t figure out how to deal with Mary.  So he doesn’t.  Instead, he avoids talking about Kate when she’s likely to be around and tries to keep as much distance as he can.  Which isn’t easy when Mary is in his office a hundred times a day, on one excuse or another, and brings him coffee and treats no matter how much he tries to discourage her. He tried telling her he was trying to cut down on caffeine.  She brought him decaf.  He told her he was trying to cut out sugar and carbs.  She brought him horrible sugar- and carb-free treats he wasn’t even sure were actual food.  But he had to eat them, because she checked.  He saw her look in the trash to make sure he hadn’t just tossed anything. She is relentless.  When he actually finds himself sprinkling crumbs on the napkin on his desk and going to another floor to throw a particularly horrible fruit bar in the trash, he gives in and casually mentions he’s back on caffeine, sugar, and carbs.  It’s easier to just let her bring real coffee and real treats and just eat the damn things.

***********

Anything that can go wrong with Kate’s move does.  For some reason, the moving truck company thinks she cancelled her reservation and doesn’t have another truck, which means she spends valuable time chasing down another available truck on no notice.  The keys aren’t where the previous tenant left them, so she has to get a locksmith to make new keys.  When she does finally get in, she’s hit with a terrible smell that comes from a dead rat under one of the windows.  That is somewhat of a mystery, because the rat is well decomposed, but Sonny’s friend only vacated the apartment a few days before.  Being so far behind schedule, however, Kate doesn’t have the luxury of time to worry about it.  Especially since she has to get moved in before the sun goes down, because there is no electricity, and won’t be until at least the next day.  Somehow, Con Ed is also under the impression that she cancelled her appointment.  

A couple of Kate’s cop friends and their spouses help her and Sonny with the move, and they take it all in stride, which helps Kate stay calm.  Besides, she and Sonny are pretty much delirious to finally be at this point.  Neither of them has forgotten what it was like to be apart, aching for each other, trying without success to get over one another. There’s not much that can dim the joy of this day.    

Kate finds herself staring at Sonny sometimes.  He’s only gotten better looking over time.  She decides she really likes the silver in his hair, and she’s captivated anew by his mouth – she’s always had a thing about his smile.  He has the best smile she’s ever seen, and he’s smiling more than usual today.  Sometimes he catches her looking at him with a sort of deer in the headlights expression, and it gets to him.  She looks at him the way he feels about her.    

They get Kate’s things moved and she takes them all out for pizza and beer.  It’s been a good day, regardless of the problems.   They laugh and drink to the future and it feels like Christmas morning. Sonny has a plan; he tells Kate he wants them to stay in her new place tonight.  She looks at him like he’s lost his mind, but she can’t say no to him, especially today, and they go back to the little studio with no electricity, nothing unpacked, and the bed not even put together yet.  

Earlier, Sonny put the box holding Kate’s bedding in one corner so he could find it again.  He also took some candles out of a box marked “candles” and lined them up on the windowsill. Now, by candlelight, he pulls the mattress and box spring down from where they’re leaning against a wall and makes a nest of blankets and pillows.  There, he makes love to Kate slowly and thoroughly by the light of one candle sitting nearby on the floor and it’s like electricity would only have gotten in the way of this perfect moment.  

 **********

It’s taken a while for Kate to get used to Manhattan South. They have a different way of doing some things, and she’s careful not to make any “that’s not the way we did it in Brooklyn” comments that will get her ostracized.  Her partner is a good guy who seems to be happy enough to be partnered with her.  He smooths some of the rough edges and teaches her what she needs to know without treating her like a moron.  She thinks they’ll do well together.

She’s long since moved into her studio, small as it is, and for the most part she likes it.  There are two things she’s not crazy about.  First, she comes home sometimes to find dead things in there.  Rats, mice, a snake once.  And they’re always decomposed enough to smell.  Which leads to the second thing.  Someone comes into her studio when she’s not there.  She’s almost sure of it.  She doesn’t think there is any other way for the dead things to get in there; the apartment’s so small, she thinks she would have known they were there if they crawled in themselves.   And things are just slightly off sometimes. A drawer messed up.  Things moved on a shelf.  A favorite picture of her and Sonny at Coney Island taken years before fallen to the floor and the glass broken.  She spends more time at Sonny’s, however, than she does here, so she can’t be absolutely sure.  So she doesn’t ask the Super to change the locks, or say anything to Sonny.  

There’s not much that could make her regret the move, though.  After three months in Manhattan, God knows she’s happy, and she thinks Sonny is, too.

She’s right about that.  Sonny’s starting to wonder how long he should wait before he asks her to move in with him, or whether he should ask her to marry him first, or how this should go.  He remembers their “no pressure” agreement, and he doesn’t feel pressured by Kate at all. But the agreement goes both ways, and he doesn’t want to pressure her, either.  His sister Gina counsels patience.  She says to wait until it’s been at least six months.  She also gives him shit about being like a puppy when it comes to Kate, but it’s all just sibling teasing.  All of the Carisis are glad to have Kate back.  

Sonny feels like, even as hard as he’s working, his life couldn’t be better.  Ms. Hadid is letting him handle arraignments and even motions now.   From the beginning, she’s deferred to him when it comes to questioning defendants.  She knows talent and experience when she sees it. He’s looking forward to sitting first chair at his first trial, which will necessarily have to be something small, but it’ll be huge to him.  

The one dark spot continues to be Mary.  She’s become overtly flirtatious now, in a way.  She never calls him “Sonny” anymore.  Now he’s “Sweetie” or “Honey” or “My Dear.”  It’s totally inappropriate, but in every other way, she does a great job.  It’s time to have another talk with her.  It’s past time, actually, but he dreads it.  He’s sure it will end up like the last time, but it has to be done.  Between the treats and the nicknames and the fawning, if he doesn’t address it, he’s complicit or, worse, leading her on.  

He chooses a Friday afternoon, because that way if she gets upset, she can go straight home and have time to recover.  He says a prayer to St. Michael the Archangel as he’s waiting for her.  A conversation with his assistant shouldn’t require him to ask a sword-wielding seraph to defend him in battle, but it does.  

Mary walks into his office.  Her pink dress is a bit oversize, like all her clothes, and does her figure no favors.  She’s smiling the smile Sonny’s come to think of as creepy and she stands leaning against the front of his desk expectantly.  

“Go ahead and have a seat, Mary,” Sonny says, getting up and closing the door.  She watches his every move, her hopeful simper maybe burning just a bit brighter at the idea of being alone with him behind closed doors.

“You said you wanted to talk to me.  What is it, sweetie?”

Sonny goes to sit back behind his desk.  “Well, um… that’s just it.  You and I are colleagues in a professional environment, and it’s important to behave that way.  So I wanted to ask you to call me Sonny, not anything else, like sweetie, or honey.”

Tears well in her eyes and she goes first pale, then bright red and blotchy.  “Don’t you like me?”

That question is wrong in so many ways, Sonny shouldn’t be prepared for it.  But he is. He has actually role-played this conversation with Kate.  They covered this precise question.

“Mary, I think you are very good at your job, and I appreciate working with you.  I have no complaints at all, except that I would like you to stick to calling me Sonny.”

“But we’re friends, right?”

Another question he’s practiced.  “We’re friends and professional coworkers.  That’s how we should treat each other.”

“It’s that Kate, isn’t it?  She’s jealous of us.”  This one they didn’t practice.  Sonny would not have foreseen the sudden venom in Mary’s expression and her voice. Her brown eyes were swimming in tears a moment ago, but now they’re narrowed and her lip is actually curled. Out of reflex, Sonny moves his hand to his holster which, of course, isn’t there anymore.  

Right away, he recognizes that as the overreaction it was, and tries to take a deep breath and return to the script.  “We’re talking about you and me here, Mary.  The way you and I treat each other here in the office. All I’m asking is that you don’t call me anything except my name.  OK? That’s it.”

The venom is gone as fast as it came, and now it’s time for tears.  Tissues have been prepositioned on the edge of Sonny’s desk for just this purpose, and Sonny and Kate have decided that not reacting to the tears is the way to go.  

“Sonny, I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to make you feel bad.  I’d never do that.  I just really like you, and I like working for you, and I thought you liked me back.”

“I like you just fine, Mary.  I’m just asking for this one thing.  One professional to another.”

“Is that all we are to each other?  After everything I’ve done for you?”  

Sonny thinks about that robot in that old show that used to flail its arms and yell, “Danger, Will Robinson!”  He had actually done that, sitting on his bed in his boxers, role-playing this conversation with Kate, who was wearing the shirt he’d taken off to go to bed.  Kate had actually predicted this, word for word.  

“We’re coworkers.  I think we have a good working relationship.  All I’m asking for is to be called by my name.”

She’s in full weeping mode now, having helped herself to the tissues placed before her.  Sonny braces for hyperventilation, like last time.  But instead, Mary does something that really creeps him out.  She pulls herself together.  After about three minutes of eye wiping and nose blowing, she looks at him with eyes that are red-rimmed, but calm.  Still, there’s something there…  The detective in Sonny wouldn’t trust a perp who looked at him like this.  She’s angry.  He’s sure of it.  

“I understand.  Maybe I shouldn’t call you by your first name at all.  I know some of the assistants use ‘Mister’ or ‘Ms.’  I could do that for you.”

“Sonny is fine.  I’m not a ‘mister’ kind of guy.”

“All right.  Is there anything else?”

“No, that was it.  I’m sorry you’re upset.  I just want us to be appropriate and professional.  That’s all.”

Mary gets up and leaves, that unnatural calm still pulled over her like a camouflage tarp.  Sonny shivers.

 ***********

When Kate finishes her shift on Sunday night, her partner drops her off at Sonny’s office.  Tom Hensler is a dedicated cop who enjoys ribbing Kate about dating an ADA, given the continual strain between the NYPD and the DA’s office over cases and evidence.  In truth, however, he and Sonny actually get along well.  Tom and his wife, Kelly, have been out together with Sonny and Kate a few times in the months that Kate and Tom have been partners, and they all have quite a bit in common.  Kelly is a police dispatcher and mother of their three-year-old twins - little boys who, since meeting Sonny, constantly ask their parents when Sonny can come back to play with them.

Sonny is waiting just inside the building, having finished the work he’s come in to do and ready to go home.  He gives Kate a smile that lights up her world and they begin to walk together to Kate’s apartment, enjoying the nice evening and just being together.  Upon reaching Kate’s building, they can immediately smell something when they come in the front door.  There’s no smoke, but it’s definitely a burning smell.  

“Should we call the Fire Department?”  Kate asks, concerned.

“There’s no smoke,” Sonny answers.  “Let’s go talk to the Super.”  

They knock on the door of one of the apartments on the ground floor, which is almost immediately opened by a thin, white-haired man in his sixties, looking as though he’s had a long day.  “Oh, there you are.  Let’s go take a look,” he says.  

“Did something happen?”  Kate asks, trading surprised looks with Sonny.

“You could say that.  C’mon, let’s go.”  The Building Superintendent steps out, yells back into his apartment, apparently to his wife, that he’s going upstairs, and closes the door.  He leads the way down the hall to the stairs.

Sonny and Kate exchange another look.  “Where are we going?”  Kate queries, a bad feeling growing in the pit of her stomach.  

“Your place.”

“Shit.”

The door of Kate’s third-floor apartment is open and fans are blowing out the window, although it’s a cool night.  

“We hadda get rid a’ all the smoke, so I hadda put fans in here, I hope ya’ don’t mind,” the Super explains, leading the way into Kate’s small studio, where a charred, series of bent springs and other unidentifiable debris fills a hole that comprises about half the mattress.  

“What happened?” Kate shrieks.  Sonny immediately begins looking around the room as though at a crime scene.  

“I dunno.  Weirdest thing.  The fire alarm never went off.  Abe Taylor across the hall smelled smoke, and he came out and saw it was comin’ from under your door.  So he ran down to get me, and I ran up here with a fire extinguisher.  But here’s the really strange part.  The fire was already out before I got in.  It looked like somebody put it out, everything’s all soaked.

“What’d the fire department say?”  Sonny asks, in full cop mode now.

“Nothin’.  We didn’t call ‘em.  It was out. I tried to call you, Kate, but you didn’t answer.”

“That’s right!  I’m sorry, I got your call, but I was in a briefing, and I actually forgot about it until right now.  This is no accident.  I’m calling the Fire Department.”

Sonny nods and starts asking questions of the Super as though he’s just naturally fallen back into detective mode.  The Super has asked the other people on the third floor, but no one has seen or heard anything, and no one has seen a stranger in the building.  

“They’re on their way.  They’re bringing the whole show, I’m afraid.  I couldn’t talk them out of it,” Kate says.

Half an hour later, the street is full of fire equipment and flashing lights, surrounded by onlookers who don’t stay long when they see there was no flame.  Not even any smoke.  Just a burned smell and a lot of people standing around.  

Kate is rattled.  She’s unflappable at work, but this is her home, and it feels like an attack. Sonny stays at her side, always touching her in some way – holding her hand or with an arm around her, sometimes just putting a hand on her back.  She answers all the questions she can, but she really doesn’t know anything because she wasn’t there.  There is one question, however, that both she and Sonny can answer.  Neither wants to, but the answer is fairly obvious.

“Do you know of anyone who would want to do something like this to you?”  The arson investigator asks, taking notes in a little notebook that Kate notices is covered with smudges that she assumes are ash.  

Kate looks at Sonny, who looks back with an equally troubled expression.  

“I think we do,” Sonny says to Kate.

“We don’t have any proof.  We don’t know it’s her,” Kate replies.

“Tell me,” the investigator says.  So they do.  

Somewhere during their explanation of what’s been happening with Mary Duderon, one of the inspector’s technicians comes down the front stairs of Kate’s building, a bag filled with what looks like charred sticks in her hand.  She holds the bag out to the inspector, who squints at it.  

“Picture frame,” he says.

When he says that, Kate sees unburnt edges of the sticks, suddenly recognizing the sticks as being from the frame around the picture of her and Sonny at Coney Island.  She feels sick.

“It’s taking some time to separate out, but it looks like there are two or three more.  Looks like there were pictures in frames on the bed while it was burning,” the technician says.

Kate looks at Sonny.  They both know there are, or were, a few framed photos of them scattered around Kate’s apartment, including a copy of the picture of them at Maxwell’s hung on a wall.  

“Can I go look?  I think they could all be pictures of the two of us,” Kate says, her voice weak. She doesn’t realize how tightly she’s holding Sonny’s hand, and he doesn’t mention it.  

“Why don’t you let me do it?” He asks, wanting to spare her if he can.  “I’ve probably been here almost as much as you have.  I know what was there.”  

“You can both go up,” the arson inspector says.  “I want to know exactly what’s missing.”

Two framed pictures, one of Kate with her family and one of Kate and Ahmad Washington and the rest of her Narcotics squad in Brooklyn, still sit on a windowsill, untouched.

What’s missing is every picture of Sonny and Kate that was displayed in the apartment.  All of them have been piled on the bed and set on fire.  

[bloojayoolie]

Animals, Cats, and Children: COOPERC 64691 5 years old, 50 lbs at manhattan acc hoping for a 2nd Chance Good looking, compact, anxious and unsure at the shelter but tail waggy too, smart, follows some commands During assessment he was social & soft bodied TO BE KILLED - 6/15/2019 How does a young fella stand out in a crowd?? Charm the pants off them, that's exactly what Cooper demonstrates. This super friendly, attention seeking, soft bodied and social greeter knows a thing or ten about winning people over. His big brown eyes, supersized smile, and lush, downy coat are just the beginning. Cooper knows the competition is Ruff, so he will drop and roll, stand up to greet, and showed his willingness to cooperate for a medical exam while wearing a muzzle. Pretty impressive! This youngster has lots of happy energy, super playful, treat motivated, and assumes all people are friends. He's mid sized and full of vibrancy. It's easy to love him! He recently arrived at the shelter, sadly he was no sooner listed to be destroyed. If you are interested in saving this cheerful baby boy through fostering or adopting, please reach out to this page. COOPER@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Cooper My animal id is #64691 I am a male brown brindle dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 5 years old, 50 lbs Came into shelter as a agency June 2, 2019 Cooper is at risk for medical and behavioral reasons. Cooper was diagnosed with canine infectious respiratory disease complex which is contagious to other animals and will require in home care. Behaviorally, Cooper has shown dog reactivity and has become difficult to manage at the care center, and will need behavior modification and reward based training. My medical notes are... Weight: 50.8 lbs Vet Notes 4/06/2019 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age:3-5y Microchip noted on Intake?n Microchip Number (If Applicable): History :stray Subjective: Observed Behavior - wags tail, food motivated, alert. will hard stare sometimes. became very hyper when he heard cats meowing. allowed muzzled exam Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = P =80 R =wnl BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam:front teeth clean PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G:2 testes MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: healthy Prognosis:good Plan:neuter SURGERY: Okay for surgery 13/06/2019 SO BAR in kennel. EN -- coughing, serous nasal discharge A CIRDC P enrofloxacin 1 1/4 tablet PO q24h x 10 days cerenia 60mg tablet -- give 1 tablet PO q24h x 4 days Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 2. Blue Behavior History Behavior Assessment Cooper allowed for all handling during the intake process. Cooper allowed the counselor to collar him as well as pet him on the head and his back. Date of Intake: 6/2/2019 Basic Information:: Cooper is a male adult large mixed breed dog. He came into the shelter as a stray. Previously lived with:: Unknown How is this dog around strangers?: Cooper seems very excitable and friendly around strangers. This is shown by a very loose body and a wagging tail when greeting the intake counselors. How is this dog around children?: This was not observed as Cooper came in as a stray. How is this dog around other dogs?: This was not observed as Cooper came in as a stray; however, in the shelter, he seems to be dog reactive as he will bark and lounge at other dogs in passing. How is this dog around cats?: This was not observed as Cooper came in as a stray. Resource guarding:: This was not observed as Cooper came in as a stray. Bite history:: No known bite history Housetrained:: Unknown Energy level/descriptors:: very high Medical Notes: Medical history is unknown as Cooper came in as a stray. For a New Family to Know: Cooper seems like a very friendly and excitable dog. He seems to have a lot of energy especially when meeting new people. When given treats, he seems to know how to sit as he will sit when the treats are taken out. ==================== Date of intake:: 6/2/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Stray Date of assessment:: 6/3/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Hard Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: Extreme Leash walking comments: Lunges towards them, hard barks. Also barks on the walk not directing the barking towards anything. Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): High;y social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Body soft Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact Exuberant handling: Seeks contact Comments: Body soft, leans into pets, rolls on back Arousal Jog: Engages in play (exuberant) Arousal comments: Jumps up Knock: Approaches (exuberant) Knock Comments: Jumps up Toy: No response Toy comments: None Summary:: Due to high levels of concerning behavior toward dogs (lunging, growling, snapping toward), a single dog home is recommended for Cooper. He should be kept out of dog park environments or areas of high dog traffic. A muzzle is recommended for outdoor walks. 6/3: When introduced to the helper dog through the gate, Brady lunges, growls, and snaps. He continues to remain fixated and growl until the helper dog is moved out of close proximity. 6/4: Cooper is introduced to a realistic prop dog walked on leash. From a distance, he begins to growl, rushes over, and bites. ENERGY LEVEL:: We have no history on Cooper so we cannot be certain of his behavior in a home environment. However, he is a young, enthusiastic, social dog who will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: Cooper has shown reactivity towards dogs throughout his time at the care center. Cooper will attempt to cage fight when being walked into and out of the room, and will also bark at and pull towards dogs he sees on leash. Once he has started to react, he cannot be distracted with treats or calling. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: Level 3 Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No young children (under 5),Single-pet home,Recommend no dog parks Recommendations comments:: No young children: Due to the high level of jumping up seen at the care center, we recommend a home without young children. Older children who are comfortable around large, jumpy dogs should have an in-depth interaction prior to adoption. Single pet home/no dog parks: See DOG-DOG. Potential challenges: : Basic manners/poor impulse control,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration Potential challenges comments:: Basic manners/poor impulse control: Cooper jumps up on people in a social manner. Please see handout on Basic Manners. On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration: Cooper is very reactive on leash, lunging and hard barking at dogs and other things he passes. Please see handout on On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration. *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: http://bit.ly/2ynocEZ Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adoption@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 * NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM * Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. PLEASE ADOPT. DON'T SHOP. FOSTERS ROCK TOO. :)

[teenaway860-blog]

Okcupid Profile Tips For Guys

The Only OkCupid Profile Tips You’ll Ever Need

Okcupid Profile Tip

Okcupid Profile Examples For Women

Okcupid Profile Tips For Guys

OkCupid is among the most well known dating sites around. It is additionally got a success that is good - every week We appear to be reading tales of males and women all over the globe that have discovered love on the website. (Read our expert. OkCupid Profile Examples For Men (Tips & Templates) OkCupid the most popular dating sites around. The first example is grammar errors in the bio. When a man's bio has spelling.

Other OkCupid profile tips lists pile on unimportant, biased suggestions. They don’t create real change in messages and dates. The truth is, few tips truly make a difference. These are the ones we’ll be sharing with you today.

#1 Think of Yourself as a Product

Now is the perfect time to set up your OkCupid profile—you’re just in time for Valentine’s Day, OkCupid is the only dating app with features like Discovery that show off who you really are, and now you have the tips you need to make a great profile! Check out all the video clips here. You'll want to set your profile as Non-monogamous. Once you do so, you will see and be seen by only other people looking for (or open to) a non-monogamous relationship. You will not see or be seen by people who have said that they are monogamous. We also encourage you to read our help page Non-Monogamy on OkCupid for more tips and tricks. Aim For Maximum Attractiveness In Your OkCupid Profile. OkCupid profiles are quite a bit different than other online dating sites like Plenty Of Fish and Match. Instead of one main “About Me” type introduction, OkCupid profiles consist of 9 main sections, with the ability to add more by choosing additional topics from the menu.

What are the best keywords to describe what “you” are? (Ex: An engineer? A creative? An athlete/fitness enthusiast?)

Second, what is the “consumer” getting if they “buy”? (Ex: Your contagious enthusiasm for life? A good listener? Interesting conversation about books? Boozy campfires? Raucous club outings?)

The answers to these questions should go into your written bio.

#2 Remember: Short and Light

Avoid the need to answer questions with filler text like “I’m not sure.” Rather, if you have nothing to say, don’t say anything at all. When you do answer, keep it brief — no rambling.

Also avoid the urge to air your grievances with women or past relationships. Negative language in profiles is an immediate red flag for most people.

That’s not to say you have to “pretend to be someone else” or never be emotionally vulnerable. It just means, for a first impression, you want to approach your profile with the same light and friendly tone that you’d ordinarily take with a total stranger.

#3 Test Your Pics on Photofeeler to Pick the Best Ones

OkCupid’s own data is clear: your pics are, by far, the most important aspect of your profile.

Your profile pictures color the tone of every word on your profile and every message you send. That is, a winky face may feel “cool” next to one photo but “over-eager” next to another.

And too many people unknowingly choose pics that are horribly unflattering to them.

I could give you 1,000 tips for getting the right OkCupid profile photos — but let’s face it — everyone’s different. What works for one doesn’t always work for another.

To be sure you’re not killing your chances with bad pictures, just test yours on Photofeeler.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

If you’ve dated online for any amount time, or even just have stable internet access, you’ve probably heard of OkCupid. At 14 years of age, the company is one of the older online dating services available and boasts a large membership. Unlike other apps and services on the market, OkCupid is all inclusive and isn’t targeted at a specific subset of the dating population, so the odds of your type of people being on the app are pretty good. And OkCupid claims that because of their matching algorithm, the odds of you finding that person in the millions of profiles on the service aren’t bad either.

This step-by-step guide will help you build an attractive OkCupid profile and teach you the ins and outs of the dating app, so you can find what you’re looking for. Let’s get started!

Step 1: Set up your account.

OkCupid is available on both mobile and desktop, so you have a little bit of flexibility on how you want to play. Go ahead and download the app on your mobile device or go to okcupid.com to get started. Like most other online dating services, you have the option to link your Facebook or sign up with an email address. Select either option to move forward.

After signing up, OkCupid will ask for some basic information including your gender (there are lots of options!), your gender of interest (lots of options here too!), your birthday, zip code, ideal relationship length, and a few other basic tidbits.

When you finish up with these, you’ll be able to customize your profile and start getting noticed.

Step 2: Pick your photos, write your bio.

Like most other apps, OkCupid has six photo slots and a short little bio section. There are enough tips to write an article for each, so I’ll spare the nitty gritty points and keep this portion more big picture.

For the photos, you’re going to want to make sure that you have six photos, and most, if not all, should prominently feature you smiling. The first photo should be a headshot in an interesting location like a forest, arcade or well-lit bar. Make sure to include at least one to two full-body shots. Keep the sunglasses and group photos to a minimum.

Okcupid Profile Tip

Photos are also a good opportunity to show off your hobbies and interests. If you’re into active sports of any kind (hiking, skateboarding, skydiving) this is a good way to share it. Active shots can give your profile an extra layer of personality that will help other daters find common ground and get a feel for you.

As for the bio, keep it short and sweet. Four or five sentences should do it. If you’re funny, this is a good place to crack a joke or two. If you’re not, that’s OK. Just write a bit about yourself, your passions, your hobbies, and anything else you think people might want to know. Use a bit of personal flare and keep it honest. The key here is to make readers feel like they’re meeting you for a casual chat.

Once you’re finished with the initial profile setup, you’ll have the option to answer additional prompts to spice up your profile. Look at these as fun bio supplements to touch on anything your bio might not have covered. It’s recommended to fill at least a few of these out.

Step 3: Answer the questions.

If you’ve made it this far, you’re in the final stretch! The last step to completing your profile are the basic questions. Each profile on OkCupid displays an estimated compatibility rate. These percentages are based on your answers to these questions, so be as thorough as possible. The basic questionnaire is 15 questions long and ranges from topics like politics to the tidiness of your room to the length of your last relationship. For each question, there’s an option to skip and there are options to select an answer preference for the person you’re interested in too.

If you’re doubting the accuracy of a compatibility rate calculated from 15 questions, that’s fair. Once the initial account setup is complete, you can answer more questions from your profile settings to increase the supposed accuracy of your match percentage. (And OkCupid will often ask you to answer more.) I’ve answered over 100 questions personally and new ones keep showing up in my profile section, so don’t worry about any shortage of these.

Step 4: Send out your likes.

Okcupid Profile Examples For Women

I’ll say it again: you can answer more questions and fill out more profile prompts once you finish the initial account setup. OkCupid recommends completing as many of these as possible to maximize your matches. Once that’s done, you can go ahead and start liking other daters and see who you match with.

Like most other apps, OkCupid’s runs on a mutual-like system, meaning two singles have to like each other before they can talk. (Or you can pay to see who likes you before you match.) There are also two different ways to go through matches. Using OkCupid’s DoubleTake format, you can swipe left or right like Tinder or Bumble for a breezy, low-investment level matching experience.

Alternatively, you can browse matches by scrolling through multiple profiles. In this option, you can open profiles and like and comment on specific prompts to reach out directly with a message. Even though the other person will only see your message if they like you first, this may be a better way to get noticed and can make you stand out from other daters who just like every person in their queue.

Step 5: It’s a match!

Once you get your first match, go ahead and start chatting. If the conversation goes well, don’t hesitate to ask your match on a date and see where it goes.

If you’re having trouble making matches, try answering a few more questions and tweaking the different profile elements to find a formula that works for you. OkCupid also keeps a list of all of the profiles you’ve liked in the past, so you can always go back and send messages after the initial like if they’ve liked you back. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends what they think of your profile for feedback. Soon, you’ll be on your way.

Step 6: Should you buy?

As always, the paid subscription route is a totally viable way to increase your chances at success if you choose to take it. Just keep in mind there are no limits to messaging or liking in the free version like on other similar services.

So, if you choose to go for the subscription, what are you getting yourself into? First, there are two different types of subscriptions: A-List Basic and A-List Premium. The A-List Basic let’s you access a list of daters who like you, use advanced search filters, search based on profile attractiveness, access message read receipts, and remove ads. The pricing plans begin at $9.95 for one month, $7,95 per month for three months, or $4.95 per month for six months.

A-List Premium offers all the same perks as the basic subscription with the addition of a daily Autoboost, which boosts you to the top of the match queue, increased attractiveness, which allows you to see and be seen by more attractive matches, the ability to see other profiles’ answers, and increased message priority. A Premium A-List subscription runs at $24.90 for one month, $22.90 per month for three months, and $19.90 per month for six months.

Okcupid Profile Tips For Guys

Well, that’s it. You’re now officially a master of OkCupid, one of the the most popular online dating sites. All that’s left is for you to get in there and start firing off those likes. Let Cupid do the rest.

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[yumikoyuki]

The rules: You must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

The last…

1. Drink - multivitamin juice

2. Phone call - i called dad

3. Text message - last message on whatsapp was in our escape room course group about our battle plan for tomorrow.

4. Song you listened to - DNA by BTS

5. Time you cried - this was very recently but why??? i don’t remember??? i think i was really really tired and just cried???

6. Dated someone twice - not sure how this is supposed to be interpreted. i have never dated someone twice?

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - very recently.

8. Been cheated on - don’t know if i have ever been cheated on. if i have, they hid it well.

9. Lost someone special - some years ago.

10. Been depressed - hahaha.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - last new year’s eve. i don’t think i was even that hammered, just mixed too many different drinks.

Favorite colors… 12. black 13. grey 14. dark blue tones

In the last year, you have… 15. Made new friends - i think so 16. Fallen out of love - no 17. Laughed until you cried - yes! just this week! 18. Found out someone was talking about you - don’t know. 19. Met someone who changed you - no don’t think so. 20. Found out who your friends are - i mean... like i trust my friends? and i don’t think i have been betrayed by anyone? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list - yeah hahaha oh so many. i like kissing my friends and i’m fb friends with all my exes.

In general… 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life - i don’t accept anyone who i have not met as my fb friend, but like if we are talking about people who i considered close enough to not remove from the list, it’s about 2/3. a very rough estimate.

23. Do you have any pets - kitty cat.

24. Do you want to change your name - nope, couldn’t see myself as anyone else than who i am. i used to “dislike” my first name in my teen years but it was totally a “ugh i want to be edgy and i want to be called someone else” phase. i never actually wanted to officially change my name.

25. What did you do for your last birthday - party at my place with friends and dancing in a night club after. was good.

26. What time did you wake up - today? around 11 (am).

27. What were you doing at midnight last night - watching stranger things i think?

28. Name something you can’t wait for - nothing? maybe like the trip to uk next spring with two of my friends.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom - a couple of weeks ago.

31. What are you listening to right now -  Lotto by EXO

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves - me?

34. Most visited website - tumblr i feel.

35. Hair colour - dark brown.

36. Long or short hair - long. and short. undercut you know.

37. Do you have a crush on someone - no.

38. What do you like about yourself - skip.

39. Piercings - five in the ears, one of them stretched and one industrial.

40. Blood type - o, don’t know if + or -.

41. Nickname - yumi is the name most go with.

42. Relationship status - single.

43. Zodiac - taurus.

44. Pronouns - she/her.

45. Favourite tv show - several. game of thrones, bbc sherlock, orange is the new black, spartacus...

46. Tattoos - none :c

47. Right or left handed - right.

48. Surgery - nope.

49. Piercing - like i said.

50. Sport - eww. i mean i like sports if they are not working as a, you know, sport. i don’t want to think of them as sports, more like a way of getting somewhere like cycling, or just playing in the water and floating, not actual track swimming etc. i don’t like to sweat and to “push myself” for the sake of keeping myself in shape.

51. Vacation - saw some friends in tampere for a couple of days recently.

52. Pair of trainers - bought a pair for the japan trip a year back. best walking shoes ever.

More general… 53. Eating - dunno 54. Drinking - dunno. i mostlu drink multivitamin juice. 55. I’m about to - start playing dai soon i guess. 56. Waiting for - next day off. 57. Want - time 58. Get married - no opinion. 59. Career - something that pays my bills and that i truly enjoy. 

Which is better? 60. Hugs or kisses - both. in a relationship i love good kisses. kisses much good. 61. Lips or eyes - both. i don’t specifically notice either of them unless they are attractive.  62. Shorter or taller - taller. definitely taller. i don’t want to be taller. 63. Older or younger - older plz. i mean age is just a number but i prefer a stable mature person in my life and i’m into people with experience and the wisdom that comes with age. 64. Nice arms or nice stomach - c’mon i can’t pick. 65. Hook up or relationship - relationship. 66. Troublemaker or hesitant - depends of the level of “troublemakery”. i’m not approving at all if you are causing trouble for others or being an inconsiderate ass hat.

Have you ever… 67. Kissed a stranger - i guess. 68. Drank hard liquor - have i ever. 69. Lost glasses/contact lenses - i actually have! i borrowed a pair of my mom’s glasses in my teenage years for a photoshoot in the woods and they just vanished there.  70. Turned someone down - don’t even remember how many times. that sounds so arrogant and egoistic, but it just confuses me so damn much how anyone could ever like me that way. 71. Sex on the first date - i mean, no, but if the date was super duper good and The Mood was there mutually, i’m not the kind of person to just pass that opportunity just because my idea of a first date didn’t normally include sex. 72. Broken someone’s heart - not that i know of. 73. Had your heart broken - yes. 75. Cried when someone died - fictional characters yes, but i have not actually lost anyone important to me yet. i mean my grandpa died when i was barely two, so that doesn’t hurt at all. 76. Fallen for a friend - yes.

Do you believe in… 77. Yourself - pff. ok on some occasions but mostly pff. 78. Miracles - i don’t believe in miracles. sometimes unbelievable things happen but i would still not call them miracles. 79. Love at first sight - as a stereotypical finnish person, love is way too powerful of a feeling and word to just throw out there so easily. definitely absolutely no. infatuation yes, love absolutely never ever. are you kidding me. 80. Santa claus - :D 81. Kiss on the first date - i mean why not if the mood was there. 82. Angels - no.

Other… 83. Current best friend’s name - don’t have one. i have several good ones. 84. Eye colour - gray blue. 85. Favourite movie - too many good ones. but to like name one or something, the prestige.

[imaginesofeverykind]

Secret Partner || Sam Drake x Reader ||

 Characters: Sam Drake x Fem!reader. 

Fandom: Uncharted. 

Request: Nope (But please by all means request, dont be shy lovelies! <3)

Prompt: After several months out of prison and in his search for clues to Henry Avery’s treasure, Sam Drake bumps into you and decides he could use a partner but keeps it from Rafe. 

Tags: @rafeadderall @missdictatorme (let me know if any of you want to be tagged so you get notification of updates!) :D

Word Count: 2,006

A/N: Hey honeys, So i had been thinking on this idea for quite some time so here it is, REQUESTS ARE OPEN, please feel free to send through anything, doesn’t have to be specifically Uncharted, I’ll try and do every fandom I can! xx

This particular day at the library was a quiet one, on a typical day there would be rushes of people in and out to study, read or just to get work done for jobs. During these quieter days, the library was occupied by mainly programmers and developers wanting peace and quiet away from distraction. With the exception of few others there was Y/N, peering up at the shelves trying to find just the right book to help her. 

She was trying to wrap up a case study for her final assessment for the semester before break. This final assessment was for her anthropology class, and the subject of the case study centred around mid seventeenth century to eighteenth century’s pirate movement. 

Finally grabbing the book she was looking for from the shelves, it detailed specifics of the worlds most Infamous pirates and their contribution to the european society back in those times. Blackbeard a well known name even to this day, along with extensive chapters detailing Captain Henry Avery’s plunder of Gunsway and included a brief ‘not-so-accurate’ account of the Pirate Haven known as Libertalia/Libertatia. 

Y/N wasn’t the only person looking for that specific book either, another person, Sam Drake, ‘fresh’ out of prison was too looking for that book. But that was only to help him gather clues as to where Henry Avery had hidden his treasure. He paced down isle’s, hastily glancing at book titles whilst passing them, he was sure he was in the right section. In fact, he was positive the book was there. 

By now Y/N of course had taken a seat at a nearby table, her laptop opened and she took down notes. If she had of known someone else wanted to read the book as well then she would’ve quite generously handed it to them, despite the deadline of this case study creeping up on her. She sighed tiredly and jotted down more notes.

Sam had now stopped at the row of books Y/N was just at before, he searched frantically and resisted the urge to curse once he couldn’t find the title. He tapped his foot on the floor and ran his hands through his hair, I’m an Avery Expert, I don’t need that book. The thought repeated like a mantra in his head, only it had been cut off by his phone vibrating in his back pocket. 

“Any Luck?” Rafe, the guy that got Sam stuck in prison in the first place, but at least Rafe bailed him out... even it had been thirteen years. Sam sighed and continued to slick back his hair due to stress, “No, I mean it’s gotta be here. I saw it yesterday and what would any of these materialistic new age idiots want with a pirate book-.” Sam cut himself off, his eyes trailed over to where Y/N sat and he instantly recognised the book she was reading from. 

“-I found it.” Sam said after a moments of silence, Rafe sighed in relief rolling his eyes at the older Drake’s slight incompetence to find a single book. “Good. Get that damn thing and get your ass back to the cathedral, we’ve wasted enough time already.” 

“I mean I found it, but someone’s reading it - I can’t just take it off her.” Sure Sam was as desperate as Rafe was to get to Henry Avery’s treasure but that didn’t mean he was going to be a dick about it. “Get the goddamn book Sam.” Rafe ordered and hung up, leaving Sam to silently battle with himself. He finally picked his feet up and made his way over to her. “Excuse me-.” He uttered quietly, not wanting to disturb the others. 

Y/N looked up at the sudden interaction, she hadn’t even realised that there was someone in front of her. Suddenly seeing her eyes, getting the book from her was harder than he anticipated. He wasn’t sure if it was that fact that the only female interaction he had was with Nadine Ross, Rafe’s other partner or if he genuinely found it attractive to see a female reading from a pirate book. “Yes?” She asked after he stared blankly at her for several moments.

He was far too old to be a student she knew that was for sure, and she wanted to know why exactly he had come up to her in the first place. Perhaps he’s lost. The thought crossed her mind, he certainly didn’t sound local, and for that fact neither was she. “I - uh... noticed you what your reading there-.” he pointed to the book, the page was open on Anne Bonney, an infamous female pirate of that particular century. 

She looked down at it and then back up at Sam, unsure where exactly the conversation was heading. “Oh... I’m going to take a wild guess and say you are a pirate enthusiast.” The words formed perfectly from her mouth into a quip, to accompany her words one of her eyebrows had raised up and the corners of her mouth upturned into a slight smirk. Sam chuckled, scratching the back of his head completely amazed by her and in only just a short amount of minutes.

“Uh, I guess you could say that. What is that?...research?” He gestured to her notes structured with sloppy dot points. She didn’t mind that he came over to talk to her, she was often always kind or at least tried to be if she was in the right mood but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t intrigued by him. In her class she was the only one who decided to study Piratical Society, not a single person she knew showed any pit of interest except this stranger.

Nodding she set down her pen, not particularly bothered by the deadline looming over her head. “Yeah, I study Human Relations and this is my case study for Anthropology... did you want to read the book - because I’m just about finished with it if you want it, I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were after it.” She began to shuffle around her papers but the book was long gone from Sam’s mind, he was rather interested in Y/N.

A young woman like herself studying things of the likes of Henry Avery and Blackbeard, he’d never dream of something like that before. Well he’d never dream he’d meet a woman who was interested in that sort of historic time period. He sat himself down, placing himself on the corner of the table, “No no, keep doing what your doing sweetheart.. The Name’s Sam, if you like I can help you out.”

He outstretched his hand for her to take and she did kindly, she was taken aback by his kind words but politely declined, “I’m Y/N, and thank you but I’ve got just about everything I need.” Sam was disappointed to say the least, Y/N had a certain aura to her that instantly drew him in, like flies to a fly trap. He pondered for a second before blurting the question out unintentionally, “Do you know much about Henry Avery?” He squirmed in his seat and eyed her carefully, cursing himself for not having a better filter between his mouth and his brain. 

She chuckled at the question, “Of course. He pulled off the biggest heist in his time during the seventeenth century. He’s one of the few pirates who hadn’t lost his treasure in battle or lost it after being arrested-.” she continued on, informing Sam of information he already knew but he just loved hearing it come out of her mouth. He wouldn’t even deny that he was attracted to her, but he used an immense amount of willpower to prevent himself from doing anything he’d regret, given that she was barely pushing over thirty years old. And for all he knew she was married or had a boyfriend or partner. She didn’t, however. 

“And what do you think about the treasure, you think its still out there?” Sam questioned her after she had finished informing him on Henry Avery. “Of course, Historic accounts don’t mention anything about the treasure being recovered, all thats documented on it is that now its worth an estimated over four hundred million dollars in treasures alone.” She had closed her book up, and shut her laptop fully engaging herself in the conversation with Sam. He chuckled and shook his head, he was taken aback by her knowledge, she definitely didn’t seem the type to enjoy history either. “It’s crazy isn’t it... I’ll let you in on a secret all right...” He trailed off, his voice dialling down to a hushed whisper. 

He leaned closely to her, “I’m looking for his treasure, I think it’s somewhere here in Scotland.” She wasn’t gullible but she believed him, there was something about him that she liked, that was trustworthy about him. Simply laughing she sat back in her seat and folded her arms, “then I’d say you’d be looking in the wrong place.” she shut him down, not to purposefully dull his mood but to inform him. “What? Do you think it’s elsewhere.” 

“Mhmm. Supposedly it was Avery who founded the pirate utopia, ‘Libertalia’, right?” She wasn’t necessarily asking him for an answer because as he went to answer she continued, “By most historic documents, maps and literature it was most likely located around Madagascar, and I think that’s where he hid it.” 

Sam was in utter amazement by her, the way she carried herself as she spoke so clear and concise, he seemed so entranced he didn’t even bother answering his phone as he felt it vibrate in his back pocket. “There’s one problem with that theory, Y/N... Libertalia doesn’t exist. There isn’t a single document that’s the same in description about it.”

“You might be right but the location is always the same, Madagascar, you’re wasting your time if you stay here looking for it.” Y/N had began to pack up her things when Sam offered to help, she once again declined his offer but was flattered he was being a gentlemen. He stood up and looked down at her, searching her eyes for that spark, that need for adventure. Sure enough, there it was, adventure tingling in her eyes.

“You know... I’ve been looking for this treasure for a while now actually... maybe it’s time i get myself a partner - Look I know it’s a pretty big thing to ask of someone but you seem to know a lot of things, and I would never ask just anyone... but you Y/N, you’re really something else.” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “Y-you want me... to go with you... and find Henry Avery’s lost treasure?” She repeated slowly back to him, it was starting to turn out to be such a strange day for her. 

“Sure, why not? I mean i’ve been doing this whole treasure hunting business on my own for a while now.. it gets a bit lonely and I could use the company.” Sure he was with-holding the truth from her slightly, but he knew that if Rafe found out he was trying to partner up with another person behind his back it would be bad news. Y/N had considered it, it was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity given that not a single Archaeologist of this century had found anything detailing the whereabouts of the lost treasure. 

“Well it’ll definitely be interesting.” She chuckled and nodded, taking him up on his offer. “Wait really?” Sam quizzed, amazed that she was so quick to jump on board and trust him only after just a few hours together in the library talking about pirates, bounty’s and treasure. “Of course.” She smiled and he held out his hand once more for her to shake, which she did and he nodded at her, “well it’ll be a pleasure working with you.” 

“Same to you, partner.” 

[freelanews-blog]

Six richest Nigerian kid-celebrities, net worth

As kids, we all fantasized about growing up and becoming rich and famous. Talent surely has no age barrier as long as you are willing to showcase such talent to the world. Such was the case of these 6 Nigerian children-celebrities who have created a niche for themselves in the entertainment industry. At a very tender age, these ones make impressive amounts through talents and fame that they have built over time. 1) Emmanuella Emmanuella Samuel, born July 22, 2010, is popularly known as Emmanuella. She is a YouTube child Comedian on Mark Angel YouTube channel. In 2017, Mark Angel Comedy YouTube channel became the first-ever Nigerian-owned YouTube channel to hit a million subscribers. Emmanuella started comedy when she was only five years old. She was on a family holiday and met with Mark Angel. He needed some kids for his comedy shoot, and called a few children he knew for the audition but they couldn’t memorize their lines. He then turned to Emmanuella and she excelled despite the eighteen-hour-long video shoot, a stunt he pulled to test the endurance of the kids. After her selection, Mark Angel had to convince her parents to let her become a part of the Mark Angel Comedy team and got their approval. Her fame started after the comedy skit “This is Not My Real Face Oh” in which she was making jokes about a teacher to her fellow student without knowing the student was the child of the teacher. This short skit was featured on CNN’s Facebook page. The Imo born comedian has won numerous awards such as the award for Top Subscribed Creator from YouTube at the inaugural edition of the Sub-Saharan African YouTube Awards. She also won the Best New Comedienne & Princess of Comedy awards at the Afro-Australia Music & Movie Awards (AAMMA) among other. In 2018, Emmanuella was invited to the National Assembly by former Senate President Bukola Saraki on account of her landing a role in a Disney film. She currently has a net worth of $90,000 that is over 20 million naira. 2) Ahmed Star Boy Before his encounter with popular musician Wizkid, Ahmed was just a young kid pushing to become a child star in the music Industry. In 2017, luck came on 13-yr-old Ahmed when Wizkid was simply performing at one of his concerts and noticed a boy in the crowd, singing along with so much energy.“Why you never sleep, come on stage,” Wizkid reached out to him. Young Ahmed, seized the window of opportunity, dropped some of the best bars of the night. Surprised by his rapping skills, Wizkid promised to sign him. He, however, gave Ahmed N10m and signed him into his star boy records. Prior to signing with Wizkid, Ahmed was always hanging around malls and pursuing his music by rapping for strangers. Ahmed is worth an estimated N10m 3) Destiny Boy Afeez Adesina Popularly known as Destiny Boy became famous after he covered the song IF (by Davido) and got noticed. His talents and hardworking character helped him to get promoted in the pop-music industry in Nigeria. The 15-yr-old Fuji pop artiste was born in Agege. According to him, his style of music was influenced by the area he grew up in where Fuji was is a societal soundtrack. He is worth an estimated N8m. 4) DJ Young Money This is one of the richest celebrity kids in Nigeria. The talented 12 years old DJ makes millions of Naira through different contracts and performances. In 2016, he signed a deal with K-Nation Entertainment, as the in-house DJ of the Label. The young DJ took over the disk jockey business from his father and is unarguably the richest child DJ in Nigeria. He is believed to be worth about N20m. 5) Egypt Ify Ufele Ify is a Nigerian-American designer who found joy in designing outfits for all occasions. She is the founder of Bully Chasers charity, she reportedly began her plus-size fashion line Chubiiline after being bullied in school. Despite starting to make clothes for herself, the 14-year-old girl also make clothes on mannequins and get them ready for fashion shows. The young designer was born on May 3, 2005, to Dr Reba Perry and Emeka Ufele. Her older sister Sade Perry is also a fashion designer. This got little Ify interested in owning her clothing line. According to her profile, she was diagnosed with critical asthmatic health condition because of her weight which made her go in and out of the hospital. After her heath got better, Ify returned to school but was bullied by some of her school mates. They said she was too chubby. Chubby or not, Ify makes a lot of money. At her age, she has an estimated net worth of N10m. 6) OzzyBosco Wonderkid OzzyBosco Wonderkid OzzyBosco Wonderkid is a Pop Singer. He was born on January 7, 2007, in Nigeria. During his first televised performances, he was already compared to the Nigerian superstars D’Banj and Naeto C. He hailed as the most successful child performer in Africa. After winning the Nigerian Kids Got Talent in 2011, he has worked steadily to make a name for himself and to become the biggest performer in Africa. According to Wikipedia, Forbes OzzyBosco Wonderkid’s estimated net worth is under review. However, he is believed to be worth nothing less than N20m Read the full article

[konnl]

Edward Willett expands the Worldshaper universe with his new novel, Master of The World

For September’s guest author we have Edward Willett, who is a writer and performer from Regina, Saskatchewan. He has authored more than 50 books of various types. He is well known for writing in the science fiction and fantasy genres. Some of his work has been published by DAW Books in New York, such as the novels Lost in Translationand 2009 Aurora Award-winning novel Marseguro. He has also been published with Bundoran Press. Let’s welcome him to the blog.

Hi Edward Willett, thank you for joining us. Can you introduce yourself to the readers?

Hi, readers! As the introduction says, I’m a multiply published author—I’ve actually lost count of exactly how many books I’ve had published. They run the gamut from non-fiction (local history, science books, biographies, and computer books) to my first love, science fiction and fantasy. There’s even one book of poetry! I’ve written for children, young adults, and adults.

I started my career as a newspaper reporter at the weekly Weyburn (Saskatchewan) Review. (Weyburn was the town where I grew up.) At the ripe old age of 24r, I became news editor there. Then, in my late 20s, I became communications officer for the then-fledgling Saskatchewan Science Centre, which is what brought me from Weyburn to Regina, where I’ve lived ever since. After five years at the science centre, I quit my job and became a fulltime freelance writer, which I’ve now been for 26 years.

In addition to writing (and some editing), I’ve done quite a bit of acting and singing, both professionally and just for fun. I’m married to a telecommunications engineer and have one daughter, who is currently enrolled at the University of Toronto. Oh, and we have a black Siberian cat, Shadowpaw—can’t forget him, since I used his name on my own little publishing company, Shadowpaw Press.

Tell us about your latest release, Master of The World.

Master of the World is the second book in the Worldshapers series, published by DAW Books, which began with Worldshaper last year. In Worldshaper, the main character, Shawna Keys, has a pleasant, low-key life: she’s just opened a pottery studio in a small city in Montana, she has a great boyfriend, she has a wonderful best friend. But then everything changes in an instant. Black-clad gunmen storm the coffee shop where she’s having lunch with her friend. Her friend is killed. She’s about to be killed. She refuses to believe it’s happening…and just like that, it isn’t. It hasn’t. The gunmen are gone. The coffeeshop is undamaged…but her friend, Aesha, isn’t there, and no one remembers that she ever existed.

A mysterious stranger, Karl Yatsar, shows up and explains to Shawna that her world, which she thought was the only world, is in fact a Shaped world—and that she Shaped it exactly the way she wanted it when she was thrust into it ten years before. Not only that, it’s only one of a plentitude of Shaped worlds in a vast extra-dimensional Labyrinth. And now, she’s about to lose control of it. The Adversary, the leader of the gunmen, who touched her forehead before threatening to kill her, has stolen her knowledge of the world and is already turning it against her. They have to flee her world entirely…not just to save her life, but because Karl believes she is a powerful enough Shaper—even though, much to his shock and bewilderment, she didn’t remember being one—to travel through all the worlds of the Labyrinth, gathering the knowledge of each, and taking it to the mysterious Ygrair, the one who gave all the Shapers, who originally came from the First World—our world—their own worlds to Shape. Ygrair has been wounded and weakened, and needs someone to bring her the knowledge of as many worlds as possible so that she can save the Labyrinth and all its myriad worlds from the depredations of The Adversary, who wants to enslave and then destroy them all.

In Worldshaper, Shawna and Karl embark on a hazardous cross-country journey, trying to stay one step ahead of The Adversary, to find the only place where a Portal can be opened into the next world, where Shawna can begin the quest she’s been saddled with

 In Master of the World, Shawna finds herself in that next world over, but without her guide and mentor—Karl was left behind. In her first two hours, she’s rescued from a disintegrating island by an improbable flying machine she recognizes from Jules Verne’s Robur the Conqueror, then seized from it by raiders flying tiny personal helicopters, and finally taken to a submarine that bears a strong resemblance to Captain Nemo’s Nautilus. Oh, and accused of being both a spy and a witch.

Shawna expects—hopes!—Karl Yatsar will eventually follow her into this new steampunk realm, but exactly where and when he’ll show up, she hasn’t a clue.

In the meantime, she has to navigate a world where two factions fanatically devoted to their respective leaders are locked in perpetual combat, figure out who the Shaper of the world is, find him or her, and obtain the secret knowledge of this world’s Shaping. Then she has to somehow reconnect with Karl Yatsar, and escape to the next Shaped world in the Labyrinth…through a Portal she has no idea how to open.

Master of The World is part of the Worldshaper storyline, how many novels do you estimate to have in the series?

The series is open-ended: the concept allows me to tell any kind of story in any kind of world. Potentially, it could have any number of novels (although I know how it ends, there’s no rush getting there). I’m currently writing Book 3, which takes place in a world with werewolves and vampires!

You’ve done a lot of writing, as mentioned on your website, over 50 books. When and what did you first start writing about?

I’ve always been drawn to science fiction and fantasy. I have two older brothers, both of whom read it, so the books were around the house. My very first complete short story, written when I was eleven, was called “Kastra Glazz: Hypership Test Pilot.” My mother typed it up for me and I showed it to my Grade 7 English teacher, Tony Tunbridge, who did me the honor of taking it seriously and providing some actual criticism—criticism which, rather than prompting me to give up, instead prompted me to try to make the next thing I wrote better. (I dedicated my recent stand-alone science-fiction novel The Cityborn to Tony by way of thanking him.) I went on to write three science fiction and fantasy novels in high school, so my course was set early on.

Edward, you are a performer too. Care to elaborate more about this aspect of your life?

I’ve always sung—my father was a choral director—and I got the acting bug at age 11 when I played Petruchio in a one-act adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew. I carried on acting and singing, whenever I got the chance. In Weyburn, while I was at the newspaper, I was a founding member of Crocus 80 Theatre, a new community-theatre group, and had leading roles in many plays, and also directed twice. When I moved to Regina, I immediately gravitated to Regina Lyric Light Opera (now Regina Lyric Musical Theatre), a community theatre group that did musicals (it was in a production of The Music Man that I first met my future wife.) I did a lot of shows with Lyric, Regina Little Theatre, and Regina Summer Stage.

When I went full-time freelance, in addition to writing, for three years I performed with a professional opera company, Prairie Opera, which did six-week tours of Saskatchewan schools, typically two shows a day. That made a nice addition to my fledgling freelance income. A few years later I was hired by Regina’s professional theatre company, Globe Theatre, for a production of On Golden Pond (I played the boyfriend from California). As a result of that, I became a member of Canadian Actors’ Equity. I’ve continued to perform every chance I get, both professionally and (more often) just for fun. I’ve been in dozens of plays, musicals, and operas. I’ve also sung with many choirs, including the Canadian Chamber Choir, an auditioned group made up of singers from across the country.

I’ve combined my writing and performing sides a few times in shows I’ve written and directed. Two I’ve done for Regina Lyric Musical Theatre had fantastical elements. In 2013 I wrote and directed As Time Goes By: A Love Story with Music and Ghosts, which did indeed have ghosts in it, and this past year I wrote and directed The Music Shoppe, which might not sound fantastical, but in fact took place in a mystical music store with an ageless proprietor and a mysterious mechanical pianist with magical abilities. Both were hits with audiences.

What was your most challenging novel to write to date?

Worldshaper was challenging because it’s designed to set up an open-ended series. My editor at DAW Books, Hugo Award-winner Sheila E. Gilbert, and I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that everything that was needed to enable the series to work going forward was built into the first book. It was also a bit challenging to write because it’s an interesting mix of first-person (the main character, Shawna Keys) and third-person (her guide and mentor, Karl Yatsar, and her enemy, The Adversary) viewpoints.

Now that Master of the World is released, do you have other novels in the works?

In addition to Book 3 of the Worldshapers series, I’ve got a middle-grade fantasy, Fire Boy, in circulation to publishers; I’m finishing the editing of a young adult science fiction novel, Star Song, which I’ll be bringing out myself through Shadowpaw Press; and I’ll be writing another young-adult story, a dark fantasy called Changers (involving shapeshifters) for ChiZine Publications. I have some other books I want to bring out through Shadowpaw in the not-too-distant future, novels I’ve never found a home for that I think deserve a chance to see the light of day, but I have to fit those in around other work so they won’t be for a while yet.

And I have ideas for many more…

Is your writing and performance inspiration intertwined or are these parts of your life entirely separate?

It’s all one thing. I find there’s a great overlap between being and actor and director and being an author. Actors pretend to be other people; writers do the same. Directors move actors around on stage and guide them in their interactions with each other in order to best tell the story being presented. So do writers. I’ve always felt, when I’m acting, even though I’m bringing some other author’s characters to life, that I’m using many of the same mental muscles as I do when I’m trying to make my own characters live and breathe on the page.

Also, in Worldshapers, I’m able to make lots of musical -theatre jokes, so there’s that.

Any final thoughts you’d like to share with the readers and aspiring writers?

I urge both readers and aspiring writers to check out my podcast, The Worldshapers. It features hour-long conversations with some of the biggest names in science fiction and fantasy writing, with a focus on their creative process, from the generation of ideas to the planning process, the writing process, and the editing process. I also ask them about their philosophy of writing: why they do it, why they think anyone does it, and what impact they hope it has on readers. The interviews are all fascinating and offer great insights into the writing process. You can find it www.theworldshapers.com.

I particularly like the episode where E.C. Blake (the pseudonym under which I wrote a fantasy trilogy called The Masks of Aygrima) interviews me…

Thank you Edward Willett for joining us!

You can find Edward through the following links below.

Website: edwardwillett.com

Amazon: amazon.com/Edward-Willett/e/B001IR1LL6/

Goodreads: goodreads.com/author/show/22635.Edward_Willett

[fiveseatisthepowerhouse]

After about a month of looking and 14 near misses, I have successfully acquired an erg!

Things I learned during this adventure. They may be helpful for anyone else looking to snag a concept 2 in the current market.

1) Understand the situation: the factory stopped production for a while because of pandemic and people mass ordered because the gyms closed. According to concept 2, the first model they are resuming production on is the most popular model (D in black with PM5) and if you put your name on the waiting list, the current estimate is 8 weeks until your erg is ready to ship. In terms of the used market, most people have figured out that it’s currently a seller’s paradise and there’s a lot of markup happening (Ds going for 2x and 3x the cost of a new erg from C2, Cs that are 15-20 years old going for the cost of a brand new D, I even saw a model A pop up for 500).

2) Don’t be hasty and pay more than you can or buy what you don’t really want. The erg you want, in your budget is probably out there if you are somewhat patient and you keep trying. I can’t pay 2500 for a Model D. If you can and you want the first erg that pops up, go for it. If not, there are good/reasonable deals out there on the used market. You just have to check back often. In the last 3 weeks I tried to buy 14 different used ergs than fit in the following categories*: Model Cs with working monitors in the 300-500 range, older Model Ds in the 500-850 range, and new (less than a year old) Model Ds in the 750-1000 range.

*Note: these catagories are what I decided was reasonable for me. I was willing to pay 500 for a C in working condition with any monitor as long as the monitor also worked, 350 was my max for a C without a working monitor, I didn’t want to pay more than new retail price for a model D, and I adjusted my max price for a model D downward based on age and condition. You will have to decide the model, age, condition, and cost that you find acceptable for yourself. Having this in mind before you start shopping is helpful.

3) “Tried to buy”? Any reasonable/good deal that pops up doesn’t stay available for long. I was third in line for one erg and I responded 19 minutes after the add was posted. The erg I snagged had been posted for 43 minutes when I responded. This is very frustrating, but keep trying. Hopefully the demand will go down as C2 starts shipping new machines and some states reopen gyms and boathouses. Hopefully supply will go up as people who impulse bought an erg realize they don’t actually like erging (how I got my erg).

4) Where to look and what the best search terms were?

Facebook market place: search term “rowing machine” or “concept 2”

Craigslist: use searchtempest to see all the listings in a wider area at once without having to change your city, search term “rowing machine” or “rower”

Row2K classifieds

Technically eBay has quite a few, but most are higher priced than I was going for and/or they are pick up only outside of the 3 hour radius I was willing to drive. Again “rowing machine” and “concept 2” were the search terms I had the best luck with.

I didn’t have much luck anywhere with the search terms “erg” or “ergometer” which is odd. I guess most people selling right now aren’t rowers?

5) Be smart with online shopping. Don’t send people money without seeing the item. Generally don’t go into strangers houses. Tell people where you are going and when. Bring a buddy if you can. Just be safe and smart.

6) How do you get an erg home?

I have a small 4 door sedan, the erg fits. You don’t need a truck or SUV. I took the erg apart (track separate from flywheel, it’s a quick release with no tools required), laid down my back seats, put the front half of the erg in my backseat through the back door with the foot plate sticking into the trunk, and put the rail in through the trunk so that it sticks into the backseat. If you have a star screw driver (or the person selling has the tool that came with the erg) you can take the feet off the flywheel piece and you won’t need to finagle the front half in through the backseat door (or if your trunk is a bit deeper than mine or you have a hatchback you should be fine).

Do your research, don’t get disheartened, best of luck, and happy erg hunting!

Trying to buy a used erg from a non-rower on Craigslist be like “I swear I am a real, sane person with money who just happens to want a torture device disguised as exercise equipment.”

Trying to buy a used erg off row2k be like “I have refreshed the classifieds every 6 seconds for the last month and somehow they’re all still sold before I see them.”

Trying to buy a used erg off letgo be like “that’s not an erg or what you had in the picture... sorry, not interested in your bowflex total gym (mostly because there’s no way it will fit in my car).”

(Online shopping is a wild experience. I just want to row)

[fatgirlsguidetodating]

Blog: Cross cultural & cross religion dating.

"Love knows no borders, has no nationalities, and doesn't need a visa." A conversation with a guy on dating site oasis left me a little shaken. Supposedly I'm a bigot because I said I didn't think I'd want to be with someone who was super-religious. I don't mind someone who believes in God, just because I don't doesn't mean I'd cut out eight out of every ten men given estimates suggest that many identity as religious of some kind. I just wouldn't want to be with someone who is *super* religious. Supposedly I'm racist because when he asked about whether I'd be with someone of another culture I said that it depended on the culture and how similar it's ideologies were to my own [non religious] ones. For instance I said I couldn't be with a man whose religion or culture saw women as inferior, one where women weren't allowed to drive or venture out unless they were escorted by a male member of their family. Does the fact that I couldn't live in a society like Egypt where the women are required to walk behind the men make me racist? But yet it's okay for men to write "I am very into physical fitness and want a woman who shares that and looks after herself", which, in short, means someone who's not fat? It's okay for them to want someone who doesn't have kids because they want to have travelling adventures before having kids? It's even okay to write- as I saw one guy on I think oasis- that he's more attracted to women from Thailand or Vietnam? How is this fair when my not wanting a super religious man from a culture where I'd be treated as inferior and the man's property make me a bigot and a racist? I don't consider myself racist or bigoted. I support all races and religions and recognise that 99% of them are good people and it's only the minority that doesn't. I don't say ban the burqa, I don't protest the building of mosques and other places of worship, I don't say don't let people from this country, of that colour skin or who believe in that God into Australia. I'm always one of the first to say don't automatically assume the terrorist was Muslim, or the carjacker was Sudanese or the aboriginal man veering from side to side is walking like that because he's drunk. Just because I personally don't believe in their ideologies and think some are quite backwards even in the way women are treated doesn't make me racist or a bigot surely? At the end of the day no matter whether I was in a cross-cultural relationship or not the one thing I will not do for a relationship is not change the beliefs and traditions important to me. (But not would I expect them to either.) My friend J is Jewish. We were talking the other day about how his mum wanted him to only marry a Jew and same for his sister. He dated a non-Jewish girl throughout Uni and honestly I was sure they were going to get married. We lost touch after uni but I ran into him the other day and found out he'd ended up marrying a Jewish lady. "But you and X- you were perfect for each other!" I said, shocked. He agreed but then added his parents made it too hard. I don't know if this is the norm or even if this is the whole reason for the break up or whether there were other factors at play but after being called a racist and bigot it certainly captured my attention and voila- this blog post was born. Can cross cultural dating even work anyway? Between a bunch of friends and strangers in blog land and my own experiences who I asked about cross cultural dating approximately 73% said it's possible they can work provided both parties put the effort in and about 90% agreed with the statement that cross cultural relationships weren't easy. All new couples have obstacles to overcome but in cross cultural relationships both partners may need to compromise by giving up some of their own culture to adjust to their partners beliefs, habits, parenting ways, and perhaps even the other partners family not bring supportive of the relationship- like J. (1.) After all it's only natural that we would feel loyalty towards our own culture and traditions, which may make it hard for us to understand the opposing ones of our partners. (2.) Some of us have a more advanced cultural identity than others. I don't think of myself as super patriotic but I do consider myself a pretty "true blue Aussie girl." (Minus a southern cross tattoo, Australian flag bikini, and Australian sticker on my car.) But others I know are very much into their cultural identity. Sociologically a cultural identity isn't just about the things we see like the fashion, or gods worshipped or even the national dish. Rather it's mainly invisible. Because much of what we say, think and do is shaped by the culture we were raised in. It influences our thoughts about things such what's right or wrong, ideas about birth and death, ideas on how we should behave, our sense of self worth, understanding our place/s in society and our values- like the importance of things in life like money or family. (2.) An example. Once at work we did a day course. I don't remember what it was about but I do recall we got subway for lunch (you know- the important things) and one thing sticks in my mind. I was paired with a guy named Tariq. He was perhaps 5 years older than me, married with a daughter and a Muslim. When we had to rank things as to what was most important to us he had money at the top and love and family down the bottom. I remember wondering if that was a cultural idea- the idea making money and providing is most important. Another example. A friend who is Greek has a similar outlook; she's not happy with her husband but he's a good provider so she stays. So it could well be some cultures value money and men who provide for their family over other things like family time and affection? Me? I don't think I'd stay with someone I wasn't happy with because of money and them looking after me. Although I do think I'd have a hard time standing strong if I was in love with someone from a race/religion/culture who my family and best friends didn't like and therefore believed my partner to be the same. I'd like to say I'd tell them to fuck off but I'm not one for confrontation, conflict or even argument. Sometimes I will simply agree with someone/s just to stop any argument even if I don't agree whatsoever. However as I get older (ugh) I do find I stand my ground a lot more. As a shy child, teenager, young adult, even adult it's been hard for me but I am trying. So given all that why bother with cross cultural love? Why not just say this relationship is doomed to fail and run before it gets too serious? Because it won't necessarily fail. And even if it does- as do many relationships where people are from the *same* culture may I add- a cross cultural romance can "lead to the most exciting adventure of exploring the world though another person." (3) There are some interesting pluses to dating someone from another culture. Like learning a new language, learning to enjoy and perhaps even make native cuisines of your partners, and maybe even travelling to their native country. A German mini series doco looked at thirteen couples who were all involved in cross-cultural relationships and they offered some advice on how to keep it going. (4) Some of the suggestions were: * "Being open-minded and talking about possible misunderstandings is essential in a multi-cultural relationship.”  -Ratna and Nele * "Being in a cross-cultural relationship takes a lot of patience and tolerance, and it can take a while until one gets used to the other. But as complicated as it might be, it is always interesting and sometimes rather funny when you get to find out and explore all the cultural differences.” -Andy and Ben * “Learn the language and never compare the two countries. For me, learning the language wasn’t just about something I had to do. The main push for me was for my own well-being. I needed a job and personally needed to no longer feel like an outsider looking in...” –Derek and Marc  * "If those in the relationship love each other then they understand each other on a much deeper level, and the language becomes less important. But cultural differences are tougher to overcome. Cultural issues are the big ones." -Dr. Jane Elizabeth Dum * “One thing we can’t agree on, though, is when to celebrate Christmas. Thankfully, Tobias lets me have our Christmas tree up all December long. Most Germans put their tree up right before or on Christmas Eve. Because Christmas is my favorite time of year, I would be so sad if I didn’t get my tree until the 24th! We make both the 24th and the 25th special and combine our respective traditions. I think that’s one of the best things about a binational relationship – you can pick and choose your favorite traditions from each culture and get to know a few different things in the process.” -Sarah and Tobias * “As the age old saying goes, communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If these criteria are met you are in for a world of cross-cultural delights, learning all about the others wonderful and mysterious land, which I have found gives you a lot more to talk about than a regular couple.” –Amelie and Dean And experts all give similar advice like educating yourself about their culture, learning some of their language and traditions, being prepared to possibly deal with family disapproval and strong communication. (5) After all Cross-cultural dating is a great opportunity to expand your learning. Your new partner can teach you so much about his or her country, culture, language, traditions and religion. If you can overcome these first few problems, it is a great chance to learn more about the world we all live in. (6) Can a cross-cultural relationship work then? Yes. With work and commitment. Go into the relationship with no expectations and it could be a great adventure! (7) I'm not saying force yourself to be attracted to someone but I *am* saying if feelings are there don't deny the possibility just because it's all too complicated. After all, just because you’re open to dating someone doesn’t mean it will actually work out. You may not even get past the first date so if you do like someone from a different culture just give it a shot. You never know: you may find yourself a fantastic lifelong partner. (8) Fatgirl. Sources: 1. https://barendspsychology.com/cross-cultural-relationships/ 2. http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/cross-cultural-relationships 3. https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/blog/index.php/best-date-tips/cross-cultural-dating-good-great-awkward/ 4. http://www.young-germany.de/topic/live/family-friends/advice-from-bi-national-couples-on-cross-cultural-dating 5. http://www.multiculturalromance.com/cross-cultural-dating-tips/ 6. https://www.google.com.au/amp/blog.datingwise.com/1444/cross-cultural-dating/amp/ 7. http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/14008/1/Cross-Cultural-Dating-and-Marriage--An-Asian-Western-Perspective.html 8. http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/speakers-corner-cross-cultural-dating/

[bloojayoolie]

Being Alone, Andrew Bogut, and Apparently: Dasher 50459... a HEALTHY 3 year YOUNG, super-cute little pup who has not been trained properly by his lazy owner & truly needs your HELP. So, he chews on stu ff when left alone, has accidents when not walked on time, well you get the drift... With the right person who is willing & will take the time to train him properly, he has all the potential to be a great pup & w onderful new best friend. Attention seeking at the shelter his favorite toys are balls, his favorite treat is... any kind you have... & he loves to be around his person. Come ON, all he needs is A CHANCE! Please, give him one, Be His HERO, his new best friend, & savior APPLY NOW to Save his life but HURRY, he is about out of time :( This ittle cutie waits for you to save his life at the NYC ACC. ** NYC Priority Placement ** FOSTER or ADOPTER NEEDED ASAP ** Dasher 50459... a HEALTHY, 3 year YOUNG, super-cute little pup who has not been trained properly by his lazy owner & truly needs your HELP. So, he chews on stuff when left alone, has accidents when not walked on time, well you get the drift... With the right person who is willing & will take the time to train him properly, he has all the potential to be a great pup & wonderful new best friend. Attention seeking at the shelter, his favorite toys are balls, his favorite treat is... any kind you have... & he loves to be around his person. Come ON, all he needs is A CHANCE! Please, give him one, Be His HERO, his new best friend, & savior, APPLY NOW to Save his life but HURRY, he is about out of time :( This little cutie waits for you to save his life at the NYC ACC. ************************************** To FOSTER or ADOPT fluffy little Dasher, SPEAK UP NOW & Save a Life, APPLY with rescues OR message Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs IMMEDIATELY!!!! ************************************** The general rule is to foster you have to be within 4 hours of the NYC ACC approved New Hope partner rescues you are applying with and to adopt you will have to be in the general NE US area; NY, NJ, CT, PA, DC, MD, DE, NH, RI, MA, VT & ME (some rescues will transport to VA). ************************************** "Rescue only" means a foster or adopter must live within the Northeastern states and must apply to rescues already approved to pull from NYC ACC shelters. Rescues can't do anything without APPLICATIONS! If your application is approved, rescue will arrange transport. ************************************** Dasher 50459 Small Mixed Breed Sex male Age 3 yrs (approx.) - ? lbs My health has been checked. My vaccinations are up to date. My worming is up to date. I have been micro-chipped. I am waiting for you at the NYC ACC. Please, Please, Please, save me! Intake Date: 26-Dec-2018 Intake Behavior Notes: Dasher was pacing around during the intake and was barking when staff walked by. He calmed down after a few minutes and allowed staff to pet him. DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: ~3 years Microchip noted on Intake? positive 985113002481386 Subjective: BARH. Noted to be coughing on rounds board but no csvd noted on exam. Attention seeking at the front of the cage. Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal discharge noted Oral Exam: muzzled PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: MN MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: Apparently healthy SURGERY: Already neutered Basic Information: Dasher is approximately a 3 year old, mixed breed male who was neutered prior to coming to the shelter. He has no known health issues or injuries and last saw a vet within the past month. Dasher was in his previous home for one week and returned due to Dasher not being house trained. Previously lived with: 1 adult How is this dog around strangers? Dasher will bark when guests enter the home and needs some time to warm up around them. How is this dog around children? Dasher has not spent time around children before, but due to the owner stating he sometimes growls when being pet or touched, he would do best in a home with older or no children. How is this dog around other dogs? Dasher has not spent time around dogs before. How is this dog around cats? Dasher has not spent time around cats before. Resource guarding: Dasher's owner stated that he will growl if he tries to touch his food while eating. Dasher will growl and snap if the owner tried to take away a treat. Bite history: None Housetrained: Partially Energy level/descriptors: High Other Notes: Dasher's owner had not tried to bathe him but he allows his owner to brush him. Has this dog ever had any medical issues? No Behavior Assessment: Look: 2. Dog's eyes are averted, body posture is stiff and fearful, tail is low and not moving. Dog allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity: 2. Dog stands still and accepts the touch, eyes are averted, tail is between legs, body stiff, mouth closed, lip long, ears likely back, may lip lick. Tag: 1. Dog follows at the end of the leash, body low and a bit fearful. Paw squeeze 1: 2. Dog quickly pulls back. Paw squeeze 2: 2. Dog quickly pull back. Toy: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary: Dasher was fearful and trembling though tolerated all handling; he remained close to handler and sought attention. Playgroup: When off leash at the Care Centers, Dasher greets a group of small male and female dogs with a nervous posture. He flees from them when they attempt to socialize with him. Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13)/Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments: No children (under 13): Because Dasher seems to startle easily with loud noises and sudden movements, we believe he may be best set up to succeed in an experienced adult only home. Place with New Hope Partner: Due to all noted concerns displayed, the behavior department recommends Dasher be placed with a New Hope placement partner who is able to provide an experienced adult-only foster home. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Dasher to acclimate comfortably to his new environment; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing Dasher to new and unfamiliar situations. Potential challenges: House soiling/Resource guarding/Handling/touch sensitivity/Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments: Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Dasher gives clear warnings when he is uncomfortable and does seem to choose to avoid or retreat when given the opportunity, but if prevented from moving away there is a potential to escalate to higher-level warning behaviors and possible fear-based aggression. It is important to move slowly with Dasher, to build positive associations (treats/toys/praise), and to allow Dasher to initiate interactions with new people. He should never be forced to greet or to interact if he is not comfortable and soliciting attention. House soiling: Dasher is reported to have accidents in the house, and appears not to have been house trained in the past. He will need guidance and consistency to learn to eliminate outside. We recommend crate training (the crate must be made positive and never used as a punishment), frequent walks, rewards for eliminating outside (treats, toys, games), consistent feeding schedule, and careful monitoring when inside. Accidents should never be punished as it can damage the human-dog relationship and is likely to make the problem worse. Handling discomfort: Due to how uncomfortable Dasher is currently with touch and novel stimuli, we feel that an adult-only home would be most beneficial at this time. Resource Guarding: Dasher is reported to growl and snap over food. He should be left alone while eating, and should be taught the cue "drop" and other trade up games so Peanut learns that dropping food or having people around while he is eating is rewarding. Behavior modification protocols for food guarding behavior can be found on aspcapro.org ... NOTE: *** WE HAVE NO OTHER INFORMATION THAN WHAT IS LISTED WITH THIS FLYER *** .... RE: ACC site Just because a dog is not on the ACC site does not mean they are safe by any means. There are many reasons for this like a hold or an eval has not been conducted yet or the dog is rescue-only... the list goes on... Please, do share & apply to foster/adopt these pups as well until their thread is updated with their most current status. TY! ============ Shelter addresses ========= - Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St., New York, NY 10029 - Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard, Brooklyn, NY 11208 - Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Rd W, Staten Island, NY 10309 - Phone number: 212-788-4000 (is automated only) Operating hours: Monday through Friday 12.00pm to 8.00pm, Saturday & Sunday: 10.00am to 6.00pm. Closed on all Holidays. ================================= == About Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs == We are a group of advocates (NOT a shelter NOR a rescue group) dedicated to finding loving homes for NYC dogs in desperate need. ALL the dogs on our site need Rescue, Fosters, or Adopters & that ASAP as they are in NYC high-kill shelters. If you cannot foster or adopt, please share them far & wide. Thank you for caring!! <3 ++++ https://www.facebook.com/ACC.OfficialAtRiskAnimals/photos/a.396897907518413/397796824095188/?type=3&theater ================================= Beamer Maximillian Caro Hocker Carolin Hocker

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT NONE

One experienced CFO said: The better ones usually will not give a term sheet unless they really want to do a deal with you just to lock you up while they decide if they really want to. One of the startups from the rest. Startups don't win by attacking. When I thought about what it meant to call someone a hero, it meant I'd decide what to do if one of the earliest sites with enough clout to force customers to log in before they could buy something. Just call out my name, and you always get more attention for that. Don't say anything unless you're fairly sure of it.1 People alive when Kennedy was killed usually remember exactly where they were when they heard about it. They win by locking competitors out of their own at age thirteen.2 Yesterday Fred Wilson published a remarkable post about missing Airbnb. For example, it returned false for Montaigne, who was arguably the inventor of the essay. So it is with design. The most promising countertrend is the premium cable channel.

I could never quite tell if they understood what I was saying. It's sadly common to read that sort of thing. Some people thought of it as math, and proved things about Turing Machines. Or maybe the movie business hasn't seen their revenues decline the way the news and music businesses have. Building physical things is expensive and dangerous. I'm not proposing this as a new idea. It may be surprisingly large; people overvalue physical stuff. If several VCs are interested in you, or an acquirer says they want to buy you till someone else wants to buy you till someone else wants to buy you, and then have to call them back to tell them you were just kidding, you are absolutely damaged goods.3 The problem with software patents is an instance of a more general one: the patent office takes a while to understand new technology. But often this mismatch causes problems.

Some angels might balk at this, but others would probably welcome it. Selling There have always been people in the middle. So did Apple. There was an authenticity that everyone who walked in could sense.4 So what, the business world may say.5 The Airbeds just won the first poll among all the YC startups in their batch by a landslide. I haven't seen it. I'm just not sure how big it's going to be more than just deciding how to implement some spec. This is generally true with angel groups too. But don't let them or the situation intimidate you.6 Most people won't, unfortunately.7

Business Incubators, there are next to none among the most successful companies and explain why they were not as lame as they seemed when they first launched.8 There are plenty of people as smart as his fame implies, and she said that yes, he was intellectually curious.9 If you do manage to threaten them, they're more right than they know, because the bride is always the center of attention.10 So to write good software you have to be secretive with other companies; they'd have to be very disciplined if you take the trouble to attack them from an oblique angle, they'll meet you half-way and maneuver to keep you in their blind spot. And that didn't just mean that people trusted us. As we later learned, it probably doesn't work to stick to old forms of distribution just because you make more that way. You have two choices: give it away and make money from it indirectly, or find ways to embody it in things people will pay for. Over and over we see the same pattern.

People sleeping on airbeds in strangers' apartments?11 There's a narrow variant: is it bad that the current legal system, to apply for patents just because everyone else does is not like saying I'm not going to lie just because everyone else does is not like saying I'm not going to be part of it for life.12 In return for the exclusive right to use an idea, you have to be hard on yourself.13 The border between architecture and engineering is not sharply defined, but it's extraordinarily rare for one to talk about it publicly till long afterward.14 I know wrote: Two-firm deals are great. I had the angel do a straight cash for stock deal.15 Publishers of all types, from news to music, are unhappy that consumers won't pay for content? Kids are good at it and some people are bad at empathy too. His rhythm in particular. Unfortunately, the question is hard to convey in a research paper.

It seems surprising to me that these guys were actually on the ground in NYC hunting down and understanding their users. What hard liquor, cigarettes, heroin, and crack have in common is that they're all more concentrated forms of less addictive predecessors.16 She can see through any kind of faker almost immediately. So what, the business world may say. And when you see something that's merely reacting to new technology in an attempt to preserve some existing source of revenue, you're probably looking at a winner. Software is a different world, both culturally and economically, from the one publishers currently inhabit. If you looked in people's heads or stock photo collections for images representing business, you'd get images of people dressed up in suits, groups sitting around conference tables looking serious, Powerpoint presentations, people producing thick reports for one another to assemble railroad monopolies.

We can all imagine an old-style editor getting a scoop and saying this will sell a lot of people seemed surprised that someone interested in computers would also be interested in painting.17 If you have to sound intellectual. Intellectually they were as capable as the successful founders of following all the implications of what one said to them, and despite years of experience I'm still not always sure I'm giving the right advice. Just wait till all the 10-room pensiones in Rome discover this site. You really only get one life. Even YC's haters buy it. In business there are certain rules describing how companies may and may not compete with one another to invest in you, or his only duty is to the investor.18 Prices will fall even further once writers realize they don't need publishers. Gradually through word of mouth they start to get users.19

Notes

But it isn't critical to do that. But if A supports, say, ending up on the spot as top sponsor. CEOs of big corporations found that three quarters of them is that there's no other word that means service companies are up there.

Once he showed it could become a problem so far has trained them to switch to OSX. If that worked, any YC partner can estimate a market of one, don't even want to sell the bad idea. Which in turn means the right order.

Users dislike their new operating system so much to say that intelligence doesn't matter in startups. Actually Emerson never mentioned mousetraps specifically. Where Do College English 28 1966-67, pp.

The problem is that the investments that failed, and partly simple ignorance. It may have allotted for the entire period from the formula. The thing to do with the same, but explain that's what I think that's because delicious/popular with voting instead of admitting frankly that it's boring, we don't use code written while you were.

According to Michael Lind, when politicians tried to pay the most successful founders still get rich, purely mercenary founders will seem as if you'd invested at a public event, you could get all the free OSes first—and probably harming the state of technology isn't simply a function of the problem. After a while to avoid this problem by having a gentlemen's agreement with the founders realized. The first big company CEOs in 2002 was 3.

How much more attractive to investors. Spices are also several you can't or don't want to see the apples, they tend to be clear. You leave it to be able to protect one's children seems weaker, judging from things people have seen, when they were only partly joking. There is a dotted line on a wall is art.

Any plan in 2001, but since it was too late? Design ability is so we hacked together our own Web site.

In fact this would be to advertise, and for recent art, they have to resort to raising money from them.

And it's just as much what other people think, but I think it's publication that makes you a couple years.

Don't believe a domain where you can't tell if it gets you there sooner. It's lame that VCs play such games, books, newspapers, or in one of the most convincing pitch can't sell an idea that they will or at least, as reported in their hearts that if you saw Jessica at a 15 million valuation cap is merely boring, whereas bad philosophy is worth more, because he had to resort to in the beginning even they don't.

Could you restrict technological progress, but for the others to act. But which of them agreed with everything in it.

But it's a collection of stuff to be better to live a certain threshold. Free money to spend a lot of money around is never something people treat casually. Vision research may be the dual meaning of distribution.

The French Laundry in Napa Valley. After reading a talk out loud can expose awkward parts. Two customer support people tied for first prize with entries I still shiver to recall.

I have a bogus political agenda or are feebly executed.

It's hard to predict startup outcomes in which practicing talks makes them better: reading a talk out loud can expose awkward parts. One YC founder told me they like the other hand, launching something small and then being unable to raise a series A round, that he could just expand into new markets. Starting a company has ever been. 5 seconds per day.

They're still deciding, which are a different idea of happiness from many older societies.

Html. I think you need to. My point is due to I. Interestingly, the group of picky friends who proofread almost everything I write out loud at least notice duplication though, because his ideas were one of the tube.

Parker, William R.

What if a company with benevolent aims is currently undervalued, because it doesn't cost anything. By all means crack down on these. I became an employer hired men based on revenues of 1. Default: 2 cups water per cup of rice.

Thanks to Benedict Evans, Sam Altman, Maria Daniels, Jessica Livingston, Robert Morris, and Paul Buchheit for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[salzspektrum]

✨ 92 Statements ✨

I was tagged by @nightsky7ibra, thanks Lara my gurl <3

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: peach ice tea, my main hoe (yes I do have shitty teeth btw)

2. Phone call: my mom called me last night and I missed it lol

3. Text message: “a good boi, a loveable boi” (referring to Lara’s cat in a group chat with her)

4. Song you listened to: “Greedy” by Ariana Grande (shouldn’t this change by the end of the post-writing process tho?? since it’s about the last song??)

5. Time you cried: idk?? Surprisingly I didn’t cry at all this week so I probably cried last week or something, I cry a lot ask my roommate

6. Dated someone twice: dating? who is she? idk her

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I only kissed @immortalpsychocat so far and I don’t regret it *wink*

8. Been cheated on: didn’t happen bc I don’t date

9. Lost someone special: well if this is referring to death then thankfully I didn’t have to experience the death of someone I love, but if this just generally means ‘loss’ then I did lose my best friend like 3/4 years ago idk anymore tbh, but soon after that I befriended @immortalpsychocat so everything’s fine now

10. Been depressed: it’s called depression sharon and the answer is ‘today’

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: march 4th (my cousin’s birthday party, it was the 3rd time I was drunk and the 2nd time I threw up bc of that lol, I didn’t get drunk since then)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.-14. blue, green, purple (all shades of these colors)

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes! Some people from university, some on tumblr and my most recently made friend is Lara actually

16. Fallen out of love: for that I’d have to actually have been in love with anyone in the first place so the answer is no

17. Laughed until you cried: today when I watched Dan and Phil’s latest sims video lol

18. Found out someone was talking about you: well there was only one person who blogged about me some months ago but they probably stopped doing that lol

19. Met someone who changed you: hmmm I don’t think so tbh

20. Found out who your friends are: yep, they are good eggs

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: well the only person that I kissed is on my facebook friend list so yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have many facebook friends so most of my facebook friends I know from real life (also I kinda hate facebook and use it like once a month for 5 minutes lmao)

23. Do you have any pets: sadly no but catch me getting a dog and a lizard as soon as I’m financially stable

24. Do you want to change your name: I used to want to do that bc people are too dumb to pronounce it properly after I told them how to pronounce it but now I’m fine with it

25. What did you do for your last birthday: literally nothing

26. What time did you wake up: okay look;;;

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching my brother sending nsfw fanart to my best friend bc they were having a Troll War, once again, it ended with them teaming up against me bc I snaked on her so they both snaked on me

28. Name something you can’t wait for: “The Winds of Winter is the forthcoming sixth novel in the epic fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin.Martin believes the last two volumes of the series will be big books of 1,500+ manuscript pages each.[1] They will take readers farther north than any of the previous books, and the Others will appear in The Winds of Winter.[2]Martin has refrained from making hard estimates for The Winds of Winter's final release date.[3] In 2014, estimates based on extrapolation of Martin's writing pace predicted the release date sometime between 2015 and 2018.[4][5] In January 2016, Martin confirmed that he had not met a deadline of October 2015 and an end-of-year deadline that he had established with his publisher.[6] In January 2017, Martin announced that he believed that The Winds of Winter will be released "this year", referring to 2017. However, he also noted that he believed the same thing would occur the previous year.” (source)

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago

31. What are you listening to right now: “Scream” by Troy Bolton, Highschool Musical 3 Soundtrack ( don’t fucking judge)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: L     O      L

34. Most visited website: youtube,then tumblr

35.-37. “Lost Questions??? (I’m just talking this over exactly as I found it, I also noticed some numbers missing, for example number 30, but idk man lol)” a fitting direct quote from Lara

38. Hair colour: black with some disgusting red streaks bc the hair stylist didn’t cover my entire hair when she dyed it from frikkin red to black

39. Long or short hair: my hair is currently at boob-length

40. Do you have a crush on someone: lol nope

41. What do you like about yourself: I like my eyes, kinda my eyebrow shape, my figure (except that I don’t like that my arms look like noodles), I like my silly humor, my loyalty to my friends and my enthusiasm for the little things

42. Piercings: [file not found]

43. Blood type: I think O- (yeah I’m kinda fucked with this one)

44. Nickname: Jos, Josi, Josuf, etc.

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: game of thrones, sadly

49. Tattoos: none, sadly (yet)

50. Right or left handed: left-handed

51. Surgery: once bc I had a cyst and they had to surgically get that shit out of my mouth (it was somewehre in my jaw idk)

52. Piercing: bruh why are you repeating yourself?

53. Sport: lol exercise?? a healthy lifestyle?? what is that??? but if I had to do something regularly it would probably be swimming, tennis or volleyball bc I actually enjoy these activities

55. Vacation: last vacation would be croatia (dubrovnik, specifically), 2 years ago. next vacation will be crete (panormo, specifically) in august and I’M EXCITED BC I WILL BE TAKING MY FIRST FLIGHT SOMEWHERE JESUS FUCK (where did 54 go)

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: my mom’s a cook so you can imagine it’s good stuff

58. Drinking: usually non-alcoholic drinks since I don’t really fuck with alcohol if I don’t wanna get drunk (since I don’t really like the taste) soo it’s ice tea or water

59. I’m about to: watch highschool musical 3 after I finish this post lol

61. Waiting for: happiness (wow this got depressing real fast) where’s 60

62. Want: [see answer for question 61] oh and money

63. Get married: maybe idk, depends on if I will really want that in my future and also depends on my partner. if it ends up being a woman and austria doesn’t have same-sex marriage until then, well...but atm idek if I want ANY of that stuff tbh, I’m currently figuring out my sexuality and I’m c o n f u s e d

64. Career: something in the field of sociology, whatever the fuck that’s gonna be. My dream would be working for an NGO, maybe write some books maybe I will become a famous sociologist and people will learn about me lmaooo

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: my only kisses so far were drunken pecks so hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes 100%

67. Shorter or taller: I don’t have a preference (same goes for my aesthetic attraction to men and women ajajajajajaj)

68. Older or younger: how about people my age, I don’t really wanna be surrounded by kids and old people all the time tbh (I don’t wanna be surrounded by people in the first place but you know what I mean)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: it’s just fucken body parts my dude did you purposefully leave out 69 so that I can’t make a kinky joke

72. Hook up or relationship: atm? neither. in general probably relationship. but idk if i actually want any of that ever idkkkkk

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: the most hesitant to ever hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: if I choose to drink, I drink the hard stuff bc I wanna get drunk

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: hmm no I don’t think so

77. Turned someone down: does not-going-to-one-of-his-plays-even-tho-he-invited-me-bc-i’m-not-really-interested-in-him count?

78. Sex on the first date: idk if I want sex or dates or both i d k  f a m

79. Broken someone’s heart: lol idk how much the actor dude likes me so maybe

80. Had your heart broken: romantically? no. by someone who used to be my best friend? yes

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: as I said, I didn’t have to experience something like that in my personal life but I did cry when carrie fisher died :(

83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Hah most of the times no, sometimes I do

85. Miracles: I truly don’t know, maybe

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: WHAT SANTA ISN’T REAL??????????

88. Kiss on the first date: hey man you do you, I don’t care

89. Angels: maybe idk

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: Victoria/Vicky, also known as Fake Hoe

91. Eye colour: green-grey-something

92. Favourite movie: Wonder Woman (2017) dir. Patty Jenkins

why exactly 92 questions tho??

Tagging: @immortalpsychocat @metaforkel @carriestreep @stupida-in-arte @starklinqs @bisexuallaurellance @patethenovice @ripley-stark @frogspears @fiftyshadesofnygma @britanniafork @littletinygothamite @winter-came @alius-alia @okayprincess @red-candy-rocks @clexasbellarke @accidentalkate @gaymickrory @hetpiglet

[nova0000scotia]

13 yr old’s first smartphone... mom’s 18 rules... and the story ...

Hofmann's letter to her son can be read in its entirety below: Gregory’s iPhone Contract 12/25/2012 Dear Gregory Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership. I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come. 1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest? 2. I will always know the password. 3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever. 4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected. 5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration. 6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared. 7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire. 8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person. 9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself. 10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father. 11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that. 12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation. 13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity. 14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out. 15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons. 16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then. 17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling. 18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together. It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas! xoxoxo Mom

THE STORY:  COOL ...SO COOL Mom's phone code of conduct goes viral Leanne Italie, Tuesday, January 08, 2013 2:38 PM 　 　 NEW YORK — Janell Burley Hofmann honored her 13-year-old son's "maturity and growth" at Christmas with his first iPhone, but it came with strings attached. Eighteen strings, to be exact, in a written code of conduct that placed the mommy blogger at the center of the debate over how parents should handle technology in the hands of their teens, especially younger ones just entering the frenetic world of social networks and smartphones. Thousands of people, including those bemoaning too much helicopter parenting, commented and shared the funny, heartfelt agreement posted at the holiday by the Cape Cod, Mass., mom of five. The interest crashed her website and led her to appear with her eldest, Gregory, on morning TV. Hofmann's first order of business: "1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?" She included caveats that some parenting and tech addiction experts consider crucial in easing new entrants onto Facebook, Instagram and shiny new mobile devices: You must share passwords with a parent, answer their calls, hand over said device early on school nights and a little later on weekends. You must avoid hurtful texts and porn and pay for a replacement if your phone "falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air." Of the latter Hofmann advises her teen, "Mow a lawn, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared." Hofmann said in an interview that she decided on the contract as she pondered the power of the technology she and her husband were about to plop into their son's world. She was looking for a way to be present in his phone use without being a "creeper," his word for stalky, spying parents. She wasn't surprised that her list, which Greg agreed to, resonates with other parents. It also resonates with psychologist David Greenfield, a technology addiction specialist in West Hartford, Conn. "We have ritualized the gift of the smartphone," he said, yet many parents don't have the know-how, stomach, time or interest in actively guiding kids when they first jump into digital life. For some parents, he said, it's only when things go horribly wrong that attention is paid. He knows of parents who have gone so far as to jam all Internet and cell phone signals at home when they couldn't get their kids to power down. Police in Rocklin, Calif., said two girls, ages 15 and 16, used a prescription sleeping medication recently to spike the milkshakes of one's parents so they could log onto the Internet after 10 p.m. Greenfield recommends contracts like Hofmann's, if parents follow through. Others creep using apps and monitoring software. He thinks that's fine, too. There's little data broken down by age on the number of Internet users whose lives are negatively impacted by smartphones, tablets, laptops and other technology, Greenfield said. In the general population, studies range from 1 percent to 10 percent of users whose digital habits interfere with their lives. Greenfield estimates the reality is somewhere between 2 and 6 percent. Hofmann was looking for a way to open the conversation with her son. Many other parents are, obviously, concerned as well about what their teens are doing online, but also what is being done to them. In a recent report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project, 81 percent of parents with online teens said they are concerned about how much information advertisers can learn about their kids' behavior and 72 percent said they're concerned about how their children interact online with people they don't know. Nearly 70 percent said they're concerned about how their children manage their reputations online and 57 percent of kids ages 12 and 13 said they're very concerned about it. The report said parents are being more proactive, not just relying on parental-control tools such as browser filters. An increasing number are joining their kids on social media, but older parents may be approaching their kids' lives there with the wrong emotional filters. "We see it as a separation from social behavior. They see it AS social behavior," Greenfield said. "I'm not sure we're going to be able to bridge that difference generationally." More tech abuse education needs to be done in this country before teens are actively engaged, he said. In parts of Europe and Asia, for instance, kids learn how to handle their digital lives as formal training in third or fourth grade. "Here they think of it like it's part of their body, and they treat it that way," Greenfield said. Hofmann's contract is her own attempt at education. "Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity." And she gets downright inspirational toward the bottom: "Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO — fear of missing out." Hofmann also urges her boy to, "Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling." And her final word: "You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together." Aisha Sultan in St. Louis studied parenting in the digital age as a Knight Wallace Fellow at the University of Michigan. As parents, she said, "We've sort of hit a tipping point. The conversation has shifted from wow, isn't all this technology cool to wow, how do we control it? We can't eliminate it completely." But parental frustration is mounting, Sultan said. She cited last year's case of a father who shot up his daughter's laptop over a profanity-infused Facebook rant against her parents. He recorded the act and earned more than 23 million YouTube views for his trouble. Before the conversation with our kids begins, Greenfield said, parents have to deal with their own digital obsessions. "Parents have to have limits, too," he said. "We have to be brutally honest with ourselves on our own use and abuse." Hofmann's letter to her son can be read in its entirety below: Gregory’s iPhone Contract 12/25/2012 Dear Gregory Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership. I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

4 Badass Angels: #Access4All #MentalHealth @TheWarAmps #bully #PTSD  #abuse #Grief #suicide #stigma #elders #survivor #stolengirls #inclusion #depression #climatechange #RedFriday #IG2020 #LoveisLove #MMIWG #BoysMattertoo #WhiteRibbon #Recovery #Homeless #Kind #IWD2019

[biofunmy]

Ahoy There, Mommy! Family Sails Around World on YouTube

NEWPORT, R.I. — They met in Ios, Greece: locking eyes across the town square, both in their 20s then. (She had noticed his distinctive mustache.) Elayna Carausu was playing guitar and singing for a travel company; Riley Whitelum was living on the sailboat he had bought with money saved from working for years on oil rigs.

When he told her had a boat, she thought it was a pickup line.

Luckily he had learned a few things in the months before that encounter. Despite having grown up, like Ms. Carausu, mostly in coastal Australia, Mr. Whitelum had no sailing experience before he bought a barely used 43-foot Beneteau from three bickering Italians.

Ms. Carausu was, thank heavens, not on board the night it nearly sank. It was moored off Dubrovnik, Croatia, slowly taking on water from a hidden leak, when it was swamped by the wake from a fishing boat.

Mr. Whitelum had kept the bilge pumps off to save electricity, a rookie mistake, and he awoke to a cabin awash in water. After pumping it out, he turned to Google: “My boat is sinking, what do I do?”

Google responded, koan-like. “‘All boats are sinking,’” he recalled reading. “‘The main factor is how fast. Don’t panic. Find the source of the leak.’”

Six years later, Mr. Whitelum, now 32, not only no longer has to ask Google for help, he and Ms. Carausu, 26, have also become YouTube stars for their adventures at sea.

More than a million people subscribe to their channel, Sailing La Vagabonde (the name of their boat), which has chronicled their life aboard in endearing, instructive and sometimes terrifying videos: two Atlantic and one Pacific crossings; maggoty trash; broken equipment; storms and becalmings; scaldings and other injuries; the boredom of weeks offshore when you’ve read all your books; would-be pirates; and this year, a stowaway, their 10-month-old son, Lenny.

There are many, many sailing YouTubers, including Brian Trautman, a former Microsoft analyst, and his brother, Brady. Their channel, named for their boat, SV Delos, has almost 356,000 subscribers, and patrons can apply to be crew online.

And there are many attractive people exploring beautiful locations clad only in their bathing suits, as Ms. Carausu and Mr. Whitelum often are.

But in this sprawling universe that also covers the shred guitarists, the dadaist live streamers, the haul girls, the van dwellers and the extreme eaters, the couple stands out because they are good television; escapism without the queasy aftermath. Joshua Slocums for the digital age, they offer a view of life in authentically challenging circumstances, in contrast to the manufactured dramas the medium typically invites.

Since they began posting in late 2014, Ms. Carausu and Mr. Whitelum’s videos have become more polished, thanks to a drone, multiple cameras and editing help. “Our Morning Routine Onboard,” posted at the end of May, has nearly three million views.

Maybe what compels is simply their competence and equanimity. There is no whinging on board La Vagabonde.

Or maybe it’s the accent, shown off when Mr. Whitelum, for example, reads David Foster Wallace, his favorite author. It is doubtful that any member of the badly behaving crews on “Below Deck,” the Bravo reality show about life on megayachts now in its seventh season, is passing around copies of “The Pale King.”

Trading Up

On a recent Saturday, the couple were at home on their catamaran, which was docked at Gurney’s Newport Resort & Marina. Lenny was gnawing an apple and playing with a USB cord. He has barely any baby gear, and fewer toys: a Jolly Jumper; a baby seat; a stick, a triangle and a pair of tiny cymbals.

“To explain the obvious,” Mr. Whitelum said, “boat living is enforced minimalism.”

The boat’s engine was broken and they had been in town waiting for parts for over a week, guests of Sean Kellershon, the dock master at Gurney’s.

Mr. Kellershon has been following their adventures for years; when he saw that they were heading north after months in the Bahamas, he offered them a spot at the marina. “They just seemed like really cool people,” he said.

Mr. Whitelum was wearing what looked like a Star Wars T-shirt, except that Mark Hamill’s face had been replaced with his own; Carrie Fisher’s with Ms. Carausu’s; and under Darth Vader’s helmet was Lenny. Designed by a fan, it’s La Vagabonde merchandise, $29, made by an ecologically conscious company in Los Angeles.

The couple sells shirts, hoodies, totes, sailing guides and cookbooks they have written from their website, mailed in compostable envelopes. But they make most of their living from patrons: about 3,500 subscribers who pay $3 to $10 for early access to the videos and other perks, like the chance to meet the couple for dinner and a sail, perhaps, if La Vagabonde comes to their town.

Ms. Carausu and Mr. Whitelum’s living costs are moderate. Ms. Carausu estimated they might spend $400 every two weeks on groceries in places they can catch their own fish, and $400 every two months or so on diesel fuel. They run their engine as little as possible, and charge their batteries with solar and wind power.

Still, boat maintenance is expensive. Conventional wisdom says that once a boat is more than two years old, it costs 15 percent of its purchase price every year. Their elegant and airy new boat, a 48-foot Outremer, is about two and a half years old, and lists for about $780,000.

After having seen one in Los Roques, an archipelago off Venezuela, Mr. Whitelum wooed the company, which built a boat designed specially for the couple, and arranged a lease they could pay monthly at a slightly discounted rate.

On forums like Reddit, fans have debated the couple’s good fortune. Had they sold out? Were they still relatable? Could you learn from their videos if they were sailing such a high-end craft? Was their video making work anyway?

But as one poster noted, “ … people think that just anyone can get a GO PRO and do a YouTube Channel, get on Patreon and make hay. It just does not work this way. It actually takes quite a bit of onscreen talent and editing skills to get viewers … I’ll admit it. I just like these people.”

Mr. Whitelum and Ms. Carausu did not set out to be YouTube personalities. Mr. Whitelum skipped university and started a business digging trenches for Australia’s phone company before going to work on oil rigs for eight years. Between three-week shifts, he backpacked around the world, intent on saving his money.

At the start of a trip through South America, he broke his neck in the surf at Copacabana beach in Rio. The surgery temporarily paralyzed his vocal cords, and he couldn’t speak or work for six months. Though he had sailed only once, a miserable three days beating into the wind off Southern Australia, he said, it was his dream to buy a boat and learn how to handle it.

“‘O.K., so you’re going to be alone forever then,’” a friend predicted darkly.

‘What About the Sharks?’

Ms. Carausu had been a tomboy with two older brothers who learned to ride a motorcycle before she ever got on a bike; she learned to drive a motorboat before graduating from high school, where her curriculum included marine studies and aquaculture.

Afterward, she worked as a dive master in Queensland, Australia, living in a Kia van she painted and fixed up until the fateful trip to Ios. A travel company had hired her after seeing her in videos she had posted on Facebook, and she quit two weeks early to go sailing with Mr. Whitelum.

They had known each other barely more than a month when he said, “It would be great if you’d sail the world with me.” Ms. Carausu decided to sell all her belongs and go for it.

“I had always hung around guys who didn’t have any goals and here was this sailor guy who just got stuff done,” she said. “I knew he was going to go far, and I wanted to be a part of that.”

“‘What about the waves? What about the sharks?’” Ms. Carausu remembered her mother saying. “Deep-ocean sailing for her was a combination of ‘Jaws’ and ‘The Perfect Storm,’” which was one reason Ms. Carausu began posting reassuring footage of their trip, using a Canon Power Shot.

The first videos are very much like home movies, charting progress south from the Mediterranean to Cape Verde, and then across the Atlantic. “I saw something good in what we were doing,” Ms. Carausu said, “and I thought people would be interested. I wanted to put them up on YouTube, but Riley wouldn’t let me.”

But by Malta, a month in, he had relented. Within a few weeks of its posting, their first video had over 70,000 views. “She was flipping out, and I was like, ‘Cool, but what does it mean?’ For five months it was still a hobby,” Mr. Whitelum said.

After their first Atlantic crossing, funds were low. By Grenada, they were broke. As they prepared to fly home to work, having hauled the boat out of the water there, they announced their plans in a video to let their community know that would be the last for a while.

Subscribers turned into paying patrons by the hundreds. It took some time, however, for Mr. Whitelum to wrap his head around the idea of being crowdfunded. “That was really hard for me,” he said, “taking money from strangers.”

The filming process typically takes three days; after Lenny’s birth, Ms. Carausu hired an editor to make the initial cuts, though she puts the finishing touches on before posting. They hope to keep sailing, boat-school Lenny and continue to make videos, Kardashians-like, but wholesome and afloat.

Ms. Carausu has designed a line of swimwear she calls Vaga Bella Swim, made from recycled, ocean-harvested plastic trash, and plans to donate the proceeds to a charity.

“I’ve always been dreaming of the perfect bikini,” she said. “Something that looks a little bit sexy, but that you can spearfish and dive in without having a body part fall out.” The couple is also hoping to turn the boat into a vessel with zero or low emissions.

Once their engine was fixed, they rode a nor’easter to the Annapolis Boat Show in Maryland, surfing 30 knots of wind for three nights and four days, to meet up with hundreds of patrons there.

Currently they are sailing to Charleston, S.C., where they will leave the boat with friends for two months so they can return home for the Christmas holidays. Then they’ll take the boat through the Panama Canal, and across the Pacific to Australia, a first for them, and circumnavigate their home country, with all the challenges that will bring.

“One year on a boat is like 10 on land,” Mr. Whitelum said. “Now it’s as if we’ve been married for 50 years. If you’re not sure about a partner, take them sailing.”

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