#my dude is straight up breedable

[coockie8]

Takaya's got way too much curve for a guy who looks like he's 75lbs soaking wet

[neko-naruto]

HELP??? MY STRAIGHT DUDE FRIEND UP AND AGREED WITH THE 'hatake kakashi is submissive and breedable' POST THAT I MADE AND I JUST. WHAT THE FUCK. DUDE WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. I DONT THINK HE EVEN REALIZES HOW HOMOSEXUAL NOT DENYING THE WANTING TO GET MEN PREGNANT ACCUSATIONS IS.

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS MAN. YOU HAVENT EVEN WATCHED NARUTO.

[basileus]

SEATTLE KRAKEN PLAYER PRIMER

I promised the beautiful @madroxed a Seattle Kraken current player primer so she can get into a West Coast (best coast) NHL team and then I went mad so it ended up too long for ask box without a read more. So here it is for your enjoyment, babe. 🦑

IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW:

1. When Kraken started playing their first season in 2021, there was a lot of discussion about the expansion plan, how many years they would take to become as successful as other expansion teams (cough VGK). That plan… has not fully panned out. So even though they made it to the playoffs last year, they're not super successful this season and likely won't squeeze their way into a wild card spot. This is okay because the Kraken are full of love.

2. This is important enough to say twice: THE KRAKEN PLAYERS ARE FULL OF LOVE. They don't need to be good if they're having fun and being friends! And they are!

3. Kraken has no captain right now, just four As. Democracy, baby! Every game there is tons of talk on reddit about how it's a good thing because it's made the guys closer, or how it's a bad thing because they don't have a leader and they keep losing. IDK, it's just our thing. There will be a C eventually.

4. There's a joke on tiktok that Kraken is a team of beautiful shy horses, treated badly on their last teams and now learning to love again. Keep this in mind when you see them interacting with Coach Hakstol. They all deserve to have their hooves (skates) farrier-ed gently, ribbons braided into their manes and to be tenderly fed sugar cubes. Anyways.

5. Haha, Seattle runs on love and tentacles.

THE OLDIES:

- Jordan Eberle (Jordy, Ebby, Ebs, Ebber) - Ebs was MY MAN for the longest time because I was soooo fond of him and the mid aughts pre-McDavid Oiler rookie crew. Now he's 33 years old, everyone calls him dad, and just had his 1000th game ceremony. It makes me verklempt.

He just signed a 2-yr contract this month, which people agree is mostly because of his role on the team and less because of his points (which are just okay).

He is also a noted Nickleback fan :(

Also, Jordan Eberle... naked... singing.

- Jared McCann (Canner, also Jordan's on-ice wife) - Kraken's lead scorer right now. Has the saddest backstory ever (he's had troubles with his teams since draft) but the Kraken team loves him. I love him too. Jordan was in his wedding party! Fun fact: Canner is the one who KISSED Ebs' head after an OT win this year, the organization framed & posted the picture, and it's the most romantic thing that has ever happened on Kraken ice. Recognized PC gamer boy. He also wears really really ugly hats with his game day suits.

- Philipp Grubauer (Grubi, The German Gentleman) - Gruuuuu. The more experienced goalie on the team. Noted horse girl (loves horses, there's a video all about his volunteer efforts with them). Gets a lot of undeserved shit from dude fans for being a conservative goalie, the man is NOT gonna move. He straight up close lined a player yesterday because they got too close to his crease lol.

- Vince Dunn - You already know this guy. Feral, but also submissive and breedable. I sent you the "screaming with a bloody face" vid but here's one where he drop gloves for a Matty hit and another from Juniors where he fights OFF ICE. His nickname is Dunner but because he's a pretty princess, he also goes by "Vincess" in hrpf. He's very popular this season both for his looks and his performance this season. Unfortunately injured right now due to a bad hit. Noted "gamer (fornite) boy" lol.

- Adam Larsson - You also know this guy. Big Cat. Quiet but a leader to the D rookies. Surprisingly funny - he's a silent prankster and the custom t-shirts this season with his face on it were a hit. Outside the hrpf space, he's engaged to a beautiful blonde Swede and about to be a dad this month.

- Jaden Schwartz (Schwartzy) - Peak millennial. Is it wrong that I think Schwartzy is the hottest Kraken after Vince? Because I don't care. He gives hot dad, with two dogs with girl names.

He changed his hockey number to match his sister's who died of cancer :'( Has been injured a lot this season and we miss him :'(

- Yanni Gourde (Gourdo) - FERAL!! FRENCH (CANADIAN)!!!! A tiktok star, sassy, charming, and also part of the team leadership.

Married and dad to little girls, who he has allowed Matty to babysit, if you can believe it. There was a super cute vid of them at the pumpkin patch this year. I'm a proud member of the GOURDO IS HOT club but even people with bad eyes and no love for goofy faces love Yanni.

- Andre Burakovsky (Burky) - You might remember him from his Cap or Av days. He's a beautiful little bird who is so good at scoring but so broken. The man has two Stanley Cups but he's played like 2 games for Kraken where he was both healthy & productive lol. People ship him with Gru sometimes in hrpf because they have cute nicknames for each other and also vacation together. He also just had a baby like two months ago so my sisters and I call him a teen mom even though he's like 29, lmaoo.

- Pierre-Edouard Bellemare (Belly) - His shirt is always off in every video I have ever seen him in. Handsome. Beard. French, like literally from France, but we won't hold it against him. He's an older guy who was brought in to help the team with offense (which we badly need).

- Oliver Bjorkstrand (Bjorky) - I always describe Bjorky as like a less handsome Dylan O'Brien if he played hockey. A chill, smiley dude who cares a lot. He played in Portland for the Winterhawks back in Juniors and I saw him a lot there! He's playing super well this year, he even was at the ASG!

THE YOUNG ONES:

- Matty Beniers (Matty, Benny) - OUR BEAUTIFUL FIRST DRAFT EVER. A baby boy. Ebs and Canner are his mom and dad. If you're on tiktok, he made that viral "Yes, Yes, Nope, Nope" sound while mic'd up.

He's growing up :') but also is having kind of a bad season :'( Part of the planned growth of the Kraken team though!

- Will Borgen (Borgy) - One of the baby D. He kinda looks like Canner but more frog. Matty and Borgy are roommates & pretty much BEST FRIENDS during the season. There's a lot of good locker room videos of them giving each other shit. He has also bullied Karts lol. Self describes himself as a little deer.

- Joey Daccord (Joey, Dacs) - Baby goalie. Gives the F1 recaps on tiktok. One of the biggest joys of my year so far was chanting "Joey" in the crowd after his shutout in the Winter Classic. Sometimes he strays too far from the net and makes boo boos. We love & cherish him.

- Kailer Yamamoto (Yamo, Yams, Yammer) - Little man. So little. Great at shootouts & stealing teammate's jerseys. He's the only Washingtonian on the team. Was a Oilers rookie and I've heard he featured in the whole Draisital hrpf narrative thing (idk I'm not an Oilers fan rn lol). Has a terrible goatee right now.

There's a funny af tweet about a reporter seeing a huge cheering section for him at a game and assumed it was friends & family but went over and it was just random people rooting for Yamo purely because he's short.

- Ryker Evans - The newest baby D. Has the deadest eyes you will ever see but he also spent an entire Firebirds youtube interview series just hanging out in a child's pool. He's played great since being called up from the Firebirds and we love him. So new he doesn't have a Breaking the Ice sheet yet :( Also his middle name is GARTH!

- Tye Kartye (Karts) - It's important that you know his last name is pronounced like "Cart-che" but even the announcers say "Car-ti-eh" like the jewelry brand. A quiet-ish sweetheart but also kind of spicy while playing. Rooms with Ryker. They're flirty and have been since the Firebirds. Scored his first NHL goal in his first NHL game, during the Kraken's first ever playoffs!

- Cale (& Haydn) Fleury - REAL LIFE BROTHERS. Not actually related to Flower. Haydn is on the Lightning now and we miss him. Cale mostly plays for the Firebirds but he's developing well and has gotten called up several times this season.

- Ryan Winterton (Wints) - A goofy little baby. He's still playing mostly with the Firebirds but he had his NHL debut this season.

- Shane Wright - I don't actually know his nickname. (EDIT: I have been informed it is Shaner or Wrighter!) Big boy. Our SECOND DRAFT EVER. Playing with the minor leagues right now. We'll see him playing a line on Kraken next season or so, probably (?). If Coach Dave is willing.

THE OTHERS (THAT I OFTEN FORGET ABOUT):

- Brandon Tanev - Turbo. He's fast. Has beautiful long hair. Keeps getting hit by pucks because he's in the way. Fun fact: he helped start the 'Kraken are horses' thing because there was a video on Tiktok where an equipment manager was adjusting his skates and they used a hoof care video sound and it went viral. We might lose him when he's a free agent and that's fine.

- Jamie Oleksiak - Big Rig, Riggy. In my shit list right now because he's playing bad and I hate his stupid credit card commercial that they always play during games. Member of the 'my sister is prettier and a better athlete than me' club. People speculate there's a chance we might lose him over the summer when his no-trade clause opens up as well. He's often Borgy's d-partner, and he and Borgy are very very sweet though.

- Tomas Tatar - Tuna, he's fun and nice. I like his accent. Sometimes I forget he exists.

- Eeli Tolvanen - Tolvy. I also sometimes forget about him. Sorry. He's a buddy to everyone on the team though.

- Justin Shultz - Shultzy, he's fine. Gets injured a lot. Not the best player. I think we're gonna lose him eventually too.

- Brian Dumoulin - Dumo, he's also fine. He's won a couple Stanley Cups. Cute baby face for an older player but he gives a kinda empty brain, 'there's not a thought behind those eyes' feeling lol.

HOPE THIS HELPS. I ALSO HOPE THEY DON'T CRUSH THIS PRIMER OVER THE OFF SEASON WITH TRADES LOL but who knows. Whatever happens, happens. Just remember this team runs on love (and tentacles).

[seeminglyseph]

while like. yeah, I can understand that there are absolutely straight furries out there, het omegaverse always feels like it's like. missing the point of omegaverse to me.

omegaverse feels like it exists as a deliberately queer concept and like. exploration of fucked up mating concepts as well as gender exploration with some kinda kinky animalistic fuckery involved as well as some breeding kink and exploring what it means if gender dynamics and sexuality were like. profoundly *different* from what they are now and we weren't in a society based around "men have gonads which create sperm which are deposited into the female who have gonads which create eggs which receive sperm and are carried in the womb during pregnancy for mating."

like. Het Omegaverse is like. "That but the alphas are more aggressive and the omegas are more submissive and breedable" and it just feels like... I'm not shitting on it entirely because like, if I like the fantasy of being ravished then I'm sure there are girlies out there who want to be ravished but it's like, not subversive. it's just werewolf smut. And half the time they'll like. do *so* much to cut all the furry stuff out of it and just make it toxic psychological dramas with trad-wife fantasies. which like. sure, butter your biscuit to it I guess.

But Queer Omegaverse feels built on "what if gender and sex were independent and society was was built on a foundation of different ideas of what gender meant" and Het Omegaverse feels like "what if gender roles were so fucking traditional and men were so toxic and virile, and women were so dainty and the best ones were fertile, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?" and like. I get that it's a romantic and sexual fantasy, and like. sometimes you just want to fantasize about being wanted. and I don't want to take that away from people or say that wanting to just... daydream about some fantasy of a man being really really attracted to you is bad. because daydreaming about that stuff is fun. That's to point of smut. and like. half of gay omegaverse is literally just "I wanna daydream about being bred by my werewolf boyfriend who is feral with his lust for me, and all my lame domestic skills are actually really attractive to him. please find my submissive nature deeply appealing instead of embarrassing." so like. this *isn't* kink shaming entirely. I fully understand like. why it's attractive and why it exists and why it's written and read and indulged in.

I just think the two are fully different genres in a way that like. Is hard to explain without sounding fucking batshit??? like in general het smut can have breeding kinks and stuff really easily already. Omegaverse was created to restructure the universe around new gender dynamics and politics to create whole new systems and medicines and like sometimes even governments to structure a furry eroticism fake breeding system for queer romances and sexualities and genders. Het romance is often too scared to touch on queer subject matter to blend the gender dynamics, so I fully like. Don't know what is explored besides the main character's bodies???

And I mean I have my issues with queer omegaverse! When they make the dude's asshole a cloaca for example! I hate when that happens! like. just do some alternative genital configurations or something, I don't know. or lean into the fact you obviously made it a cloaca, since no one seems to admit that. honestly part of me just is kinda curious how the whole genital configuration makes sense for a lot of omegaverse since there's a lot of misunderstanding about how genitals work, but like. I can write my own if I'm so concerned. that's fine. I just wanna make a point that like, nobody's perfect. while I admire the concept of queer omegaverse for redefining gender roles, that's not how all queer omegaverse works and I know that. and het omegaverse could be written really really well by a talented author. just 'cause I haven't read it and... admittedly am not hugely interested, doesn't mean it's impossible.

But in general I think the only way to fully make omegaverse work is to embrace the weird shit. change the genitals, change the genders, change how society is built, change how people identify, change how relationships are made, change the power structures. Do weird fucked up shit and embrace that it's weird and fucked up. if you do then it will be more a more compelling story.

if it's just smut feel free to disregard because that's fine sometimes you just want daydream fodder and that's fair, but I think sometimes you just need to like. realize you've created a cloaca and that's weirder than just giving a man a pussy??? or a pussy and a dick? or coming up with something new and majestic? or something. I don't know. or if you're gonna have a fucking cloaca lay some eggs. fuck around with it. that's like, my really specific omegaverse pet peeve. the fucking cloaca.

[skulgore]

𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐔: 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠

bad grammar (in dialogue) and lower case intentional

i like to imagine that only characters that are in your team can hear you :)

warning: TONS of sexual innuendos, 16+

“what would you do if you were transported into genshin?" you asked your friend, while you ran around your world with them, looking for enemies to fight.

“i'd call out for xiao,” they suppressed their laughter, “and give him the time of his life." xiao, the person who is on your team ears lit up at the sound of his name.

“why would he come to you?"

“no, he would come for me.”

“DUDE- to be fair, xiao is a very submissive and breedable man.”

“i'd be calling out for him in a different way forrrreeeal”

xiao is speechless, he has lived thousands of years, but never has he heard anyone say something like that about him. he isn't sure if he should take it as a compliment or not.

“kazuha is always welcome to join,” your friend comments and shows him off, walking straight towards your face. to which you hid the screen since you had one of your characters staring through your soul. which kazuha is thankful for, you wouldn't like to see the way he is all embarrassed by the creators talking of him in such a way.

“NO, tartaglia and zhongli can both take me from the back. i am submissive and breedable for THEM.” you covered your mouth with your hand to hide a fake moan. the characters you had out tried to hide their concerned faces. the harbinger and morax? oh my...

“okay, opinions on ganyu?” they switched characters in front of you, “LOOK AT HER.” they made her jump around, boobs jiggling because of genshin physics.

“i'd let her sit on my face or even top me."

ganyu flushed a bright red.. one of the creators- she refuse to finish the thought. she heard about people from your world calling her plenty of things inappropriate- but she couldn't imagine...

“honestly anyone who hates her is a L”

“mommy fr”

after you got done playing with your friend, for the next few weeks the characters you talked about just gush about how you have them wrapped around your finger. hey, they wouldn't mind having you around their fingers as well.

[romeave]

regarding submissive uwu breedable zane ro’meave

although zanvis typically accredited with it’s creation, submissive uwu breedible zane ro’meave (which will henceforth be referred to as SUBZ for my own sake) was a plague that affected all zane x dude ships in the aphmau fandom. fics that include SUBZ usually depict zane as a vulnerable, too pure for this world little bean that the other party (typically travis or gene) is free to either fix or fuck with. these fics were often written by a younger demographic and tended to feature a number of problematic tropes, triggering topics, and demonization/infantilization of mental illness. also SUBZ kept turning into a neko. just constantly. all the time. catboy hours out the wazoo.

but, those are all issues that apply to any mlm ship in any fandom. i’m here to talk about my issues with SUBZ, not a systematic issue that an essay on BakuDeku or SaiOma or Gacha kids or general fandom could explain much better than I ever could. my account is called zane-romeave, don’t expect too much more than zane content.

there isn’t anything too wrong with zane being uwu. zane has been uwu as early as his first appearance. i’m not going to deny my lil guy to sip his lil tea and get his lil beauty rest and tell aph that no one will trust his word over hers because he is just a lil guy who has done nothing wrong, uwu.

but zane ro’meave is not a submissive lil bottom why tf is that the popular interpretation of his character.

i don’t really know what more to say about that he straight up just, is not. zane doesn’t just roll over like an obedient dogboy at every minor inconvenience. i have no idea who this fictional man is that you are all talking about but he is not my asshole catboy zane ro’meave. he’s power hungry and thrives when in control. if given the opportunity he will gladly turn whoever into his lil puppet. he will achievworld domination if it costs him his left eye.

and this isn’t even just my silly little headcanon it’s the most consistent part of his characterization. mcd zane....exists. mermaid tails zane works for tavari to complete his end goal of being a larger crab. mystreet zane rarely helps people if there's nothing to gain, often adding humiliating favors to his negotiations (ex. refusing to help kc with anything ever again unless she follows all his advice exactly). even lil baby sophomore zane in pdh s2 chose to commit a crime and pin it on the sks so he can save the day in the end so they are both indebted to him and think he is badass. this was a response to making him cry. zane ro’meave could kill god.

SUBZ, by nature of being submissive, could never do any of that! He’s written to be pathetic and vulnerable, an overly passive permanent pity partier so the other party can swoop in and save the day. SUBZ is often the target of a sad and tragic backstory but is rarely, if ever allowed to stand up against whatever it is that’s harming him currently. you see, if the other party magically solves all the issues with their big muscles, SUBZ will instantly fall in love and get mpreged and they will live happily ever after as a nuclear family. if that doesn’t happen, SUBZ will just die a tragic death. How is SUBZ supposed to kill god if he’s physically unable to hurt a fly?

i do understand that i have made out zane canon to be a bit of a heartless monster who shouldn’t be in any kind of relationship. however, the power thing is also what makes zane great for both platonic and romantic ships. once zane warms up to a person, he develops a protective devotion unmatched by the divines themselves. a passionate young man, zane will do whatever it takes to keep the object of his affection safe and happy, prioritizing them over others and himself — not in a SUBZ way he’s just got low self importance — because they deserve it. although he isn’t outwardly affectionate, it is with genuine love and care that he tries to be the zane the other party wants him to be.

SUBZ can not love. Not with the instensity and passion that Zane can love.

SUBZ would never think to threaten aaron because SUBZ wants aph to have the guy of her dreams. SUBZ would not break all of his codes and help someone just because aph wants that of him. SUBZ wouldn’t try and change himself for the better at aph’s bequest. SUBZ wouldn’t have to psych himself up to ask to take this relationship slower because he knows it would upset his partner. If faced with a traumatic life or death situation in which he’s kidnapped, gets turned into a mindslave , discovers ghosts exist and want to hit that, and garrothed, SUBZ would not bottle all that up and beat himself up over being unable to protect his best friend from a similar fate.

not saying that’s healthy or anything (it is not, btw) just saying that SUBZ is a piece of printer paper so devoid of zane he’s practically a different character. by ignoring zane’s weird power thing, you’re ignoring 80% of your zane. you’re left with nothing but ponies, cupcakes, and a list of traits without any meaning or motive behind them. that’s not a character, that’s the opening to g4 MLP.

TL;DR: Zane Ro’Meave is a chad alpha male who makes anyone else look submissive and breedable by comparison

[baby-blues-and-pastel-hues]

You help with the ideas bro you say a thing and my brain goes outta control /pos (? Maybe? Unclear how tone indicatorz work sometimes)

Also. Sweet reader, who straight up has all of the lads going wild. The lads find out the reader is breedable. It's a race to try and figure out how to contact the reader first. They top but they also do well for a cockwarmer and "breeder". Or, in this case, it'd be "Breader" because I'm ruining things with dumb puns.

Sweet reader is just having the time of their fuckin life. Cute dudes. Hot dudes. All of them are going fucking wild over them. And the reader is just Genuinely Doting on every one of them, regardless of past threats. They have made all of Nevada their toy. (Or all of Nevada made the reader into their toy depending on how it rolls)

... Sweet reader tbh is 70% me being very self indulgent and gay lmao. (Also, Hank's ass. Slappable. I take no criticism because I'm right.) -Sweet Reader Anon who's very happy you've been enjoying the ramblings I've been spewing

oh god i love this, reader being just bred and bred is just. that's so hot for some reason?

also yes hank's ass is slappable

[papirouge]

it's nice to see someone who is both prolife but also doesn't constantly let men walk over herself. i've had so much trouble finding likeminded people on this website. most 'tradwomen' end up having good values, but also never criticize any of the men at all.

i'll see someone write a post about how sex trafficking and p*rn are bad, and then the guy she reblogged it from is a "catholic" but talks about how he'd date anywhere between literally 10 years younger than him and 2 years older than him. on posts about pro-life stuff these guys will put the blame entirely on the woman, as if men don't need to impregnate women in the first place for there to be any pregnancy at all. and there's soooo many guys who are just straight up racist or obsessed with pretending they're some kind of Roman king or Aryan guy, or whatever, and no one ever criticizes them because they act like these guys are truly "faithful".

i'll see women talk about wanting a provider, someone who is kind to them, someone to take care of and love, someone to make food for, etc and tradmen will talk about wanting someone who wears x or y, she has to be pretty, she has to have their babies, etc. they never talk about what they can do for her.

I'm glad you enjoy my take anon :) I'll always defend tradfem against radfem harassment and male fetishists BUT they indeed aren't free from inconsistent or hypocrisy

I already stated 99% of tradmen on this hellsite were wicked. They're so disgusting and it's soooo obvious they use the trad brand to excuse their predatory tendencies and fetishism... Why the heck are they reblogging only hot women and not....male role models? They're unsurprisingly misogynist too and yes, they'll always find a way to blame women. Either we have no standards and that's how we end up with bums/single mothers and don't deserve compassion, OR we have too high standards and we are materialistic and greedy... An advice anon: NEVER listen to a single male whining about women with high standards bc he's most likely a bum himself. That's for his own benefit to pressure women into lowering their standards. See how hard they went against FDS? NOW you know why.

My take about the whole Aryan King lane is that it helps them cope with their own mediocrity. "at least I'm not a low IQ nigger🤪" they say from their parents' home basement with a 100k student debt, no job, overweight, no social life and under antidepressants prescription. That's also why they're pissy at race mixing: they hate to see their Aryan queens waste their breedablity with other (inferior) races It makes them soooo pissy lmao

Here's that tradman weirdo I often see lurking onto tradfem notes. This was on a comment about a demented pro choicers ironically stating pro lifers wouldn't bear seeing their daughter having a kid with a Black man and dude just had to shoehorn his pathological racism:

See this clownery ? Interracial is "wrong" now? On what standards? Christians? Does this fake Christian know that the Apostle Timothy was mixed (Jew and Greek)?? See? That's one of the things that irks me the most with Christians these days: it's always those with the LEAST knowledge, who are always out there opening their mouth to say obvious profanities and biblical inacurracies.

The blinds are leading the blinds. We are truly on the end times....

Your last paragraph sums it up. I made a bunch of posts (tagged #tradmen) where I call out the total unbalance between tradmen and tradfem content. It wouldn't be so weird if tradfem themselves didn't see any problem with it and keep doing the most about male, when in return they keep paying them dust..... Embarassing.

..IDK maybe deranged radfem are right to clown them for being delusional and male identified :/