#my dog jellybean

[krist-420]

🍂HAPPY AUTUMN🍂Meegan, my boi Jellybean and me lol @meegan420

[krist-420]

Yep that’s me lol

My twin sis Krist and her boi Jellybean

[ignisgayentia]

An update on new yard for miss jellybean.... SHE LOVES IT 😭 she gets to sniff, run, and play in her private space without having to worry about mean reactive dogs from our old apartment 🥺 It's sooo nice to just sit outside while vibing and playing with her 😭

[tahthetrickster]

took her under four hours to ditch her cone, which is a new record around here

[tj-crochets]

Hey y’all! Slightly weird request, but can you please give me any “living around coyotes” advice you have?  My mom’s backyard has no fence and backs onto a huge open field which goes up to foothills, which are also unoccupied by humans. She’s been trying to grow vegetables this year, which means she has a lot of ground squirrels in her yard (eating the vegetables), which seems to be attracting coyotes? They’ve been getting closer and closer and today she sent me a picture of a coyote what appears to be less than 100 feet from her door. The problem is my mom likes to take long walks in that big field and the coyotes keep getting closer to her on those walks. I know they make coyote-safety vests for dogs but idk the human equivalent? It’s not like one or two coyotes, it’s a bunch of them. I think she said the most she’s seen at a time is seven. 

[hsnlv]

soft beginnings | s.jy

pairing: dad-to-be!jake x mom-to-be!reader

synopsis: you and jake are getting ready for your baby, but jake’s full of doubts about fatherhood. with plenty of laughter, love, and tiny socks, you learn that even the smallest moments can mean the world.

warnings: fluff!, jake has self-doubt but it’s adorable dont worry >< reader is pregnant if that is not clear (i love pregnant tropes actually because it’s cute hehe)

wc: 1.1k

a/n: ive been writing a lot lately since im currently on semester break but enjoy ^^ here’s my masterlist!

jake sat on the nursery floor, holding a pair of impossibly small socks between his fingers like they were some kind of alien artifact. his brows were furrowed, lips pressed into a pout that you would’ve called adorable if he wasn’t so deadly serious.

“okay, babe,” he said finally, holding the socks up for emphasis. “these cannot be for a human. i don’t care what you say.”

you couldn’t help it—you burst out laughing from your spot on the rocking chair, where you were sorting through a mountain of baby clothes. “jake, they’re for a newborn. they’re supposed to be that tiny.”

he squinted at the socks like they might reveal their secrets if he stared long enough. “nope. sorry. these are for a hamster. or maybe a very small rabbit.”

“are you calling our baby a rabbit?” you teased, grinning as you leaned back in the chair.

“i’m just saying,” he continued, waving the socks around like he was making a grand point. “what if their feet don’t fit? what if their toes are too big? i don’t even know what baby feet look like!”

you laughed so hard that tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. “you’re ridiculous.”

“i’m serious!” he insisted, though the twitch of his lips betrayed him. “what if i try to put these on and they just… fall off? or what if i lose one? it’s not like i can run to the store and ask for replacement jellybean-sized socks!”

that did it—you dissolved into giggles, your belly shaking as you leaned forward. “jake, you’re going to be fine,” you said, wiping your eyes. “i promise, putting socks on a baby isn’t as hard as you think.”

he flopped dramatically onto his back, groaning. “i’m not ready for this.”

“you are,” you said, crawling over to him and sitting on your knees by his side. you rested your chin on his chest, tilting your head to look up at him. “you’re going to be the best dad ever.”

he gazed down at you, his expression softening, but you could still see the hint of doubt in his eyes. “you really think so?”

“i know so,” you said, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of his face. “you’ve got the dad jokes down already. the rest is just practice.”

he groaned again, dragging a hand down his face. “yeah, but what about the important stuff? like… like making bottles. or changing diapers! do you know how many straps and tabs those things have? it’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture!”

you snorted, pressing your forehead to his chest as you laughed. “it’s not that bad.”

“it is that bad,” he said, sitting up suddenly. his hands flailed a bit as he tried to explain. “and what if i don’t wake up when the baby cries? or—or what if i hold them wrong? what if i drop them? oh my god, what if i don’t know how to swaddle? they’re gonna hate me.”

“jake.” you placed your hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. “take a deep breath.”

he inhaled shakily, his wide eyes locking onto yours.

“you’re not going to drop the baby,” you said firmly. “or hold them wrong. and even if you mess up the first swaddle, or it takes you a few tries to get the diaper right, it’s okay. you’ll figure it out.”

he didn’t look entirely convinced, so you leaned closer, your voice softer now. “do you remember when we first got peanut?”

he blinked, his brows furrowing. “our dog?”

“yeah. you were so nervous about training him. you kept googling everything, and you were convinced he was going to hate you because you couldn’t get him to sit on command.”

jake huffed, his lips twitching into a reluctant smile. “okay, yeah, but peanut was a little menace at first.”

“he was,” you agreed, grinning. “but you didn’t give up. you were so patient and sweet with him, and now he listens to you better than he listens to me.”

jake let out a soft laugh, his shoulders relaxing a bit.

“it’s going to be the same with the baby,” you said, brushing your thumbs gently over his cheekbones. “you’re going to love them so much that none of the little mistakes will matter. and they’re definitely not going to hate you for struggling with a diaper or two.”

“you sure about that?” he asked, his voice quieter now.

“absolutely,” you said, smiling.

he sighed, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. “what would i do without you?”

“probably drown in a pile of tiny socks,” you teased, laughing softly.

“you’re not wrong,” he muttered, but he was smiling again.

you both sat there for a moment, the quiet hum of the nursery filling the air. then jake pulled back slightly, his hand drifting to your belly.

“hey, little one,” he murmured, his voice soft and warm. “just so you know, your mom’s the best person in the world. so if i mess up, she’s gonna make sure you’re taken care of. and if you could, uh… maybe go easy on me with the diapers, that’d be great.”

you laughed, swatting at his shoulder. “stop making deals with the baby!”

“what? i’m just saying!” he said, grinning.

he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your belly, murmuring something too quiet for you to hear. when he sat up again, his eyes were brighter, his usual spark returning.

“okay,” he said, grabbing the tiny socks and holding them up like a trophy. “we’re definitely framing these.”

“i knew you’d come around,” you said, smiling as you kissed his cheek.

the rest of the afternoon was spent folding onesies and arranging books on the shelves, with jake tossing out ridiculous questions every five minutes.

“what if the baby doesn’t like my cooking?”

“jake, they’re not going to eat anything you cook for at least a year.”

“what if they cry every time i pick them up?”

“then you’ll hold them until they stop crying.”

“what if they call me ‘dude’ instead of ‘dad’?”

“then they’re definitely your kid.”

by the time the sun dipped below the horizon, the nursery was mostly finished. the crib stood in the corner, draped with a soft, pastel blanket, and the bookshelf was packed with stories you couldn’t wait to read aloud.

you stood in the doorway with jake, his arm around your shoulders as you both took in the space.

“it’s perfect,” you murmured, leaning into his side.

“almost perfect,” he said, resting a hand on your belly. “just missing one thing.”

you smiled, your hand covering his. “they’ll be here soon enough.”

he pressed a kiss to your temple, his voice filled with quiet awe. “soon enough,” he echoed.

and in that moment, surrounded by love and laughter and the promise of something even sweeter, you knew your little family was already complete in all the ways that mattered.

© all rights reserved | hsnlv 2024

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

Nash Hawthorne & Libby Grambs Headcannons:

(bc my babies are far too underrated and they need some love)

tag list: @bewitchingkisses @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31 @loveinalocket

- they decorate cowboy hats for all occasions and match

- it’s actually one of their favourite things to do on a date

- sometimes they do things like swap every ten minutes/try and design the perfect hat for the other/ choose a theme and design off of that

- nash 100% writes songs about libby and plays them too her on his guitar as well as singing

- nash has such a good singing voice and libby finds it really soothing

- sometimes libby will ask nash to give her two random flavours that she has to somehow incorporate into a cupcake

- nash learns how to dye libby’s hair when she wants to change it so he can do it for her

- similarly he also gets libby to teach him how to do different hairstyles (like braiding etc)

- he’s awful at it but libby thinks it’s so cute

- they are defos the biggest animal lovers, so they’d have a cat and a dog bc they couldn’t decide between the two

- I really feel like they’d have a horse as well (or maybe a few horses?? who knows??)

- and tell me they wouldn’t go horse riding into the sunset together wearing their matching cowboy hats

- they’d go in late night drives and blast Taylor Swift in the car

- libby is a passenger princess but nash loves that

- when Taylor released new albums they’d literally be the first in the store to buy it and then know all of the songs by the next day

- libby is a sucker for romance movies and always begs nash to watch them with her, he always complains but secretly he loves them too

- nash ALWAYS cries at the end of notebook and titanic

- libby finds this absolutely adorable

- nan loves libby and constantly tells her that she’s too good for nash

- once libby suggested they play strip bowling and nash literally blushed so hard

- nash tells libby so many crazy stories about him and his brothers and now she has so much to blackmail them all with (but she never will because she’s a literal ray of sunshine)

- libby has this notebook and when nash really likes a cupcake flavour she’ll secretly write it down so she can remember what he really loves and then surprises him with it a few weeks later

- every month the two of them aim to read a book together to talk about it

- nash sometimes uses cake-inspired nicknames when talking to libby, for example ‘sprinkle’, ‘cupcake’ and ‘jellybean’

- his brothers mock him for it but they shut up when nash glares at them

- nash is petrified of spiders but libby refuses to let them be killed, so whenever there’s one in the house libby has to pick it up and take it outside, whilst nash hides in a corner

- libby is the deepest sleeper. EVER. like this girl could sleep through three earthquakes whereas nash is a really light sleeper

- libby snores and nash thinks it’s really cute but he will never tell her

- nash loves painting her nails

- they rant about what they’re passionate about to the other and the other will literally just stare at them lovingly for however long

- they rarely ever fight and when they do they both absolutely hate it and end up just apologising and cuddling

- nash would literally do ANYTHING for this woman… like she wants random sour gummies at 3am? he is out the door. she needs an extra bag of flour mid cake-off? he’s the man on the job. she doesn’t want to go out? he already has a list of excuses and a second list of things they can do instead of going out…

- libby hates mushrooms in anything so will pick all of them out if they’re in her food and nash will eat them for her

- nash absolutely loves to have libby in his arms

- though she never really admits it, when libby sees nash take his helmet off after a motorbike ride she blushes so freaking hard

- she turns into an adorable little tomato

- libby hates being in any sort of limelight, interviews and paparazzi make her really uncomfortable so nash makes sure she doesn’t have to deal with it

- she never does any interviews and he’s very protective of her when approached by paparazzi, putting an arm around her and shielding her face in his chest, walking away quickly as he requests the paparazzi to stop

- it is also important to both libby and nash that when they have kids they don’t grow up with all the pressure of the media. they don’t show their kids faces or reveal that much about them, until they’re old enough to do it for themselves and consent

- nash is actually a really good cook but a horrible baker

- libby tried to teach him how to make a cupcake once and he managed to mess it up

- and don’t even get me started on when he tried to ice a cupcake… that was an abomination

- but they often plan nights where nash cooks the meal and libby bakes desert and the two of them enjoy it together

- nash really cares deeply that libby always feels safe and happy and loved in the relationship because of her last relationship

- he checks with her every once in a while

- libby finds this so sweet and is so touched that someone cares this much about her

- they’re not massive on PDA, nash likes to have his arm around her usually

- that said, they’re not afraid to kiss or show affection if people are around, they just tend not to

- nash gives the BEST massages, they’re to die for and libby adores them

- no one makes libby laugh harder than nash does

- and he loves the sound of her laugh

- like grayson, libby is also REALLY ticklish so nash often starts tickle wars with her

- when they go to a restaurant libby is very indecisive so nash just tells her to order two or three things and whatever she doesn’t want he’ll eat

- one of their daughter’s first words is ‘yee-haw’ (CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE!!!)

- nash is such a natural dad because he had so much experience literally raising his brothers

- when libby sees this it makes her really emotional and she thinks she’s a bad mom

- but nash reassures her that she is literally the best mom in the world and that their twins are so lucky to have her

a/n: I just found these headcannons at the bottom of my drafts so I’m posting them?! I don’t even know how long ago they were written but I hope you enjoy anyways. I’ve decided they’re in honour of the libby and nash cards coming out (omg I’m obsessed)

also let me know if you don’t want to be tagged in headcannons in the future, I just tagged everyone I normally would but if you don’t want to don’t be shy to let me know <333

TIG masterlist

[jellyskink]

Everything had been good for a while, too good. Not that Ford was complaining in fact it was quite the opposite. Things had started about a month ago Ford had a momentary laps in his behavior, it wasn't that bad honest it wasn't, he didn't even know why, his body just moved on it’s own. He was alone in his room doing research when IT happened. Static. Anger. He couldn't help himself his equipment was shoved to the floor Test Tubes and flasks were shattered and there contents spilled across the floor. His notes were then riped up and scattered around the room like confetti. He grabbed his desk chair and threw it against the wall, the rampage continued untill one of his precious figures of his mused knocked over braking into pieces.

(My Muse… no, no, no. How could this happen) tears pooled in his face and curled up into a small ball on the floor (he wasn't even deserving enough for his bed) rocking back and forth hands grasped around his necklace, muttering apologies to it

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know what happened. My Muse please forgive me. I'M SORRY… I Love you more then anything you know that, you must. It was an accident. Please Forgive me.”

A hand was placed on his shoulder and Ford flinched at the touch. He was alone a second ago, he looked back at the hand that reached out to him, and saw his muse.

“My Muse… I'm so… *hiccup* sorry. Please… *Sobbing noise*... it was an accident….”

His Muses hand was released from his shoulder, and while Ford had fully expected that hand to punish him for his outburst, (after all he deserved it). What he didn't expect was the hand to be placed on his back gently rubbing small circles.

“It's okay. Fordsy. I know. I know it was just an accident and you didn't mean to. Everything will be just fine, after all… you mean so much to me.”

Did he just hear this right? His Muse forgave him. No no that couldn't be right he hasn't earned his forgiveness. He didn't show his muse how sorry he was, his food wasn't withheld, he wasn't thrown out the window, he wasn't tossed into a closet with the same song on full volume on repeat for days. He hadn't done any of that yet for this outburst, and now here's his beloved muse comforting him. Despite his better judgment he pulled his muse into a tight hug and sobbed in his arms.

“There there it's okay let it out… I know how much YOU love me.”

“Thank you, thank you. My Muse my wonderful muse thank you.”

“Any time why don't take a moment to gather your self. I'll be in the throne room come join me when your ready. Okay, and take all the time you need.”

He must be dreaming. He tried to summon a bag of jellybeans to see if he was dreaming, and when not materialized he knew he was in the real world and not the dreamscape. He smiled and looked up at the tapestries of his muse then at the posters that said “remember your here forever” and one that said “Who rescued who?” Were things starting to change?

Now that a month has passed since the incident and everything was beautiful. His muse allowed him small luxuries that he had only thought were for humans. He let him sit on the throne with him, next to him and not just on the floor by his feet. His muse also let him eat his food (which was now 100% glass and metal free) on a table and not just on a bowl on the floor. Sure he still slept on the dog bed but he was now given a blanket to help keep him warm on those especially cold nights. Everything was perfect. His muse finally loved him in return, There was no more punishments no more anger directed towards him, Ford was actually developing a healthy glow and his confidence was better even Dr. Oleander was impressed to see his change. Everything was Beautiful. If only he didn't screw everything up.

He didn't even know what he did wrong. It was the one month anniversary of his new founded relationship with his muse and everything needed to be special. Ford had spent the entire day hunting rats so he can spell out his muse name and give it to him. Ford knew that there relationship long ago had moved past the rat stage but still he thought it was a great throwback and hopefully his muse saw it as nostalgic as much as he did. Turns out giving Rats out to the love of your life at a party he threw with all of his henchmen Was not a smart idea. When the gift was presented there was laughter. And not the good kind, they weren't laughing WITH him they were laughing AT him.

Don't cry Stanford dont cry. He cried he didn't understand what was wrong he thought it was a lovely gift. And now even his muse was laughing at him.

“Aw looky here folks look how much Fordsy here loves me!”

“I do… my muse I sware, I thought this would be a good anniversary gift.”

“Anniversary? Of what. The Weirddnnaverary isn't until march.”

“Well… I… thought, it's our one month since we started dating.”

Laughter erupted. “Who the fuck said that we were dating. As if anyone could love a sad pathetic man who spends more time crying then practicing his routine for next weeks dog show. “

Wait what surely they were dating. They ate together, they curled up next to each other while Ford read bill stories while bill played with his hair, His Muse even complimented him for every little thing. He was starting to feel like an actual person again.

“Aw boss look your dog thinks he's your boyfriend, how cute. You taking him to the dog park for your next date?”

Embarrassment filled his face tears fell. He ran to his room and wouldn't come out. How foolishly was he mistaking kindness for a relationship.

*one month ago bills pov*

“Look Pyronica” his eye switched to television mode, “Fordsy here is having one of his breakdowns again. Aww look he “Loves” me oh my me like he has a chance, who could ever love him? Pathetic. You know what I have a great idea wanna see how desperate he is for affection? Can't wait to see how messed up this will make him.”

Look I did this instead of sleeping if you see spelling and grammar mistakes, ya didn't got that?

Is this what my life has become this is my 3rd fic for this au, not complaining but damn I have never been this inspired. Anyway have a nice day and thanks for reading!

This is heartbreakingggggggggggggggggg 💔

[thylacines-toybox]

In celebration of one whole year of Thylacine’s Toybox, I looked up my most popular posts and set up a silly toy picnic on the floor with some of your favourites from the past year! There’s an interesting range of characters here…

Pawface bites (?) into a burger while the picnic’s smallest guests relax on their own mini blanket.

The thylacines got a pizza! Jellybean picks off some of the toppings... that’s fine.

Nova has a Big sushi platter and… is she going to drink the soy sauce? Nova, no!

Someone else wants a little sushi too…

The baby chimera is content with his sandwich and juice!

Pangea and Magenta dig in to some kibble, like the normal dogs they are! Stripy chooses the world’s weirdest grilled cheese instead.

Finally, Thunder (in proper party clothes) and Snocap chat and discover they have a lot in common. Also Nom Nom is there.

Looks like everyone had fun! Thanks for joining us at the picnic (and for enjoying my blog)!

[kittynugg]

chapter 2 of A Little Dilemma is out!

chapter: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/?

words: 2,872

(also hey maybe reblog this if you like it :> just sayin it helps me spread my words to the world)

Ford limped into the kitchen with a heaved sigh, flanked of course by a panicked Soos.

“Dude, I’m just saying, but when you just poof into a little baby I promise me and Mister Pines are gonna take care of you,” assured the well-meaning man who just happened to be pushing every button Ford had.

He jerked open the fridge, casting a “I could kill you in fifty different ways and hide your body in twice as many places at the same time” glare at Soos who still didn’t get the message, and took out a can of soda. “You’ve said that eleven times in the past fifteen minutes.”

And this had been going on for two hours. Two. Hours.

He bumped the fridge shut with his elbow and hobbled past Soos. Unsurprisingly, he followed him all the way to the couch, the place he’d been for most of the day. And Soos, Soos had been there most of the day as well. Waiting for something to happen. He’d even closed down the shack for the day! ..Honestly Ford didn’t mind that, that just meant he didn’t have to explain “yes, I do have a laboratory in my basement which is accessible via this vending machine but that’s none of your business” to six different tourists.

But he did mind Soos breathing down his neck when he was just trying to drink some damned Pitt!

He settled down on the couch again, remote in-hand, (character development!) and turned up the volume to drown out Soos’ continued reassurances. He’d actually made a game out of the infomercials, and hence had decided to keep them on. The goal was to guess what they were advertising before it was outright said.

“ARE YOU TIRED OF THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF EXISTENCE CONSTANTLY BORING DOWN ON YOU!?” The TV crackled.

..What was this one? Prozac?

“COME TO MAMA MISFORTUNE’S TRAVELING CARNIVAL, IN GRAVITY FALLS UNTIL MONTH’S END! THE PERFECT DISTRACTION FROM YOUR MODERN WOES!” 

Oh. The fair. Well, now that he knew he’d already been there the ad was just annoying, so he changed the channel. A documentary about how jellybeans were made came on by chance.

Now that was something he could ignore both Soos and the crushing weight of existence with.

And ignore, he did. 

It was fascinating, apparently Jelly Belly used natural ingredients whenever possible! So.. Hey, wasn’t there a dog food one? And.. barf?

He chose not to think about that. But the process was a marvel! First they poured a slurry of corn syrup, sugar, corn starch and “do you feel any younger yet Mister–”

“Soos!” Barked Ford, whipping in Soos’ direction. “Can you please let me enjoy my mindless entertainment in peace!?” He slapped a hand to his face.

Soos, of course, decided to act like a confused puppy about it! His shoulder hunched and he took a couple of steps back. “I was just tryna make sure you’re okay, dawg..”

Okay, he was done with this!

“It is tap water,” he sighed shakily. “I’ve found the actual fountain of youth. Trust me when I say that that vial has never gone near it.” A circular gesture was made with his finger vaguely near Soos’ pocket where he believed the vial to be. “I am.. Getting close to begging here.” And he was not going to let Soos push him to that point!

It actually looked like at least one neuron fired in Soos’ brain, and a faint smile spread across his face. “You’re sure, dude?” Hearing him not immediately reject Ford’s assurance was like a breath of fresh air. Ford nodded frantically.

“Yes! One hundred percent sure! Nothing is going to come of this, I promise.”

“But what if there’s, like, a tap of youth?”

That one made him do a double-take. Surely that singular functional braincell Soos had was trying its best, h– okay maybe he was being a little harsh now. He mentally vowed to stop insulting Soos. “There is no tap of youth, Soos.” He answered simply, then took a deep breath. In quickly, out slowly. Activate that parasympathetic nervous system before you have a heart attack. “Satisfied?”

“Alright, dawg, I trust you. You’re, like, the smartest dude I know anyway!” Soos chortled, facepalming. That was.. Surprisingly easy. “Dude, I don’t even know why I was so worried. Gonna start sounding like you or Dipper soon. No offense, dude.”

STOP SAYING “DUDE” IN EVERY SENTEN- 

Ford sighed. “Oh, none taken. I know we can be awfully paranoid.” Keep the peace, Stanford, you just got him to potentially leave you alone. “Speaking of which, have you seen him and Mabel?” A glance around returned no information. Wonderful.

“They just went in the kitchen! Hey, are you starting to smell smoke too or is it just me? ..Because I do this weird thing sometimes where I just smell smoke out of nowhere.. Is that some creepy paranormal thing?” Soos wiggled his fingers for emphasis, and Ford’s expression blanked at the sight of smoke starting to waft from the kitchen. “I’unno, dude, kinda suspicious.. And are you seeing that smoke comin’ out of the kitchen? Crazy coinciden-”

He was cut short by Ford jumping to his feet and sprinting into the kitchen. Dipper and Mabel were there, alright, coughing and frantically fanning at the smoke billowing from a pot on the stove. Because stars forbid he sat down for five minutes without something happening. On a habit he couldn’t remember building but couldn’t remember not having, his eyes scanned them for any injuries. 

They were fine at first glance (incredibly scrutinizing stare, actually), but sort of just stared back at him with the wide eyes of a couple of kids who had been caught. Dipper froze mid-panic, then slowly turned to Mabel. “..who’s taking the fall this time,” he whispered as if Ford wasn’t right there.

“I call not it.” Mabel hissed back. Ford was not impressed. He stood against the doorframe, arms crossed and fingers tapping impatiently against his sweater, sure to hover his injured foot off the ground ever-so-slightly because running on an injured ankle made it worse?

“I mean, it was your idea. You can’t just call not it when it was your fault in the first place.” Logic and reason, Ford was rooting for Dipper on this one. He wasn’t exactly planning on scolding either of them, though, just waiting for them to finish their routine so he could clean up the mess. He was the adult, after all, being injured didn’t change that.

Mabel blew a raspberry at him. “I just di- he’s watching us by the way but I just did!” They both looked back at Ford and his.. Disappointed father stance against the doorframe, then Dipper cleared his throat and stepped in front of Mabel.

“We were just–” he began, folding his hands, but Ford silenced him with a raised hand.

He muttered in a steady tone, “save it. Are either of you hurt?” They were subjected to another quick examination, his eyes darting over them before Mabel responded.

“Uh, we didn’t really get far enough to get hurt..” She cast a wary glance toward the pot as Ford limped over to shut off the stove and waved away the smoke. 

Dipper added, “but we did get far enough to completely obliterate that pot,” as Ford squinted into the charred bottom of the pot. There were a few bones resting in the bottom. 

Concerning. In fact, all he could say to that was, “ho.. How?” with a baffled look at Dipper and Mabel. He carefully picked up the dish by the handles and set it in the sink to deal with later, then leaned against the counter and lifted his foot slightly. Ouf, he could feel a headache coming on already.. “What were you even attempting to.. Cremate?”

“Food,” the younger twins said in unison, then Dipper branched off. “We thought you’d like it if we cooked something nice..”

The only thing you cooked is your chances of entering this kitchen without supervision again, Ford thought, whatever was in that pot is far beyond “cooked”.

“Ah, a pot of bones,” Ford commented dryly, but added a chuckle in case the kids didn’t realize he was joking. 

Dipper leaned over the sink with a playful smirk and pointed into the pot. “I mean, there’s also some ash in there if you look really closely.”

“And glitter!” Mabel added in a chirp, and all of a sudden Ford’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling.

He knelt down (awkwardly and painfully) to ruffle Mabel’s hair and rolled his eyes. “Of course there’s glitter, how could you forget glitter?” Then his expression dropped. ..Hold on a minute. “You were going to feed me glitter?”

Instead of explaining themselves, the kids each grabbed one of his hands and pulled him out of the room.

“Don’t worry about it!”

“We can handle the mess!”

“You need rest, Grunkle Ford!”

“Yeah, you’re hurt!”

They both reassured quickly before pushing him back onto the couch. Mabel scampered off to make the kitchen worse– I mean clean it, and Dipper lingered in the living room to fuss over his Grunkle. “You’ve gotta keep it elevated,” he reminded in a murmur as he lifted Ford’s foot onto the arm of the couch. “And what did I say about moving around?”

Ford cast a glare at the ceiling. His eye twitched. “Not for at least two days unless I absolutely have to.” He grumpily quoted what Dipper had told him an hour after he and Mabel got home. Knowing him, he probably spent that hour researching how to care for sprained ankles. Very sweet, but also a little bothersome because he was getting high and mighty advice from a child. “But this time–”

“Mabel and I had it under control! No buts, just..” Dipper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Give yourself a break for once, okay?” Oh, great, now he was preaching it. The one person he thought was on his side had switched up on him. Wanted him to “rest”.

And yet he had no choice but to listen.

Begrudgingly.

So like any functional adult that wasn’t him, he shifted to make himself comfortable, turned his head toward the TV, shifted again because laying like that hurt his neck, let Dipper adjust his injured foot again, shifted, grumbled incoherently for the sake of grumbling, couldn’t reach the remote, and decided he couldn’t do this.

“I can’t do this.” His brows knitted together as he spoke. “I’m not.. Equipped for relaxation, Dipper.”

A muttered, “oh my god” from Dipper was not lost on him but he chose not to comment. “..okay. Compromise, then. Be stressed, but from a supine position.” That was.. Possible.

Ford crossed his arms and squared his jaw. He knew stress. He knew stress well. This was easy. He swung his legs off the couch to pace–

“Grunkle Ford! Lay! Down!” Scolded Dipper, causing him to flinch back into his original lying position. Yelled at by a child! At least that made being stressed easier! ..and a little harder as Dipper settled down on the couch by him to watch the TV. “Literally just.. Stare at the TV and do nothing. Grunkle Stan does it all the time, you’ll pick it up.”

He. Wasn’t. Stanley. Instead of saying that he decided to just sigh and look back at the television himself. “There’s nothing interesting on,” he complained, more of an excuse than anything. “Your Grunkle Stan thinks The Duchess Approves is quality television, he’ll watch anything.”

“Not anything, he won’t watch any more Dream Boy High with Mabel.” Ford watched as his nephew strained to reach the remote, nearly falling off the couch in the process. “But!” He tossed the remote in his hand with a flourish as if he didn’t almost just faceplant into the carpet. “We live in the future.” The remote clicked as he pressed a button on it, then Disney+ opened.

Hm, right, you can put applications on the TV. He forgot that sometimes. “We really do live in the future..” he whispered in astonishment. 

“Let’s see, uh.. What’s something you’ll like..” Dipper thought out loud, scrolling through the selection of movies. ”Bambi? Too old. Uh.. Frozen? ..ehhh.. You wouldn’t like Inside Ou– oh!” He stopped on a movie called Big Hero 6. Ford wasn’t so sure about it, considering the big marshmallow guy on the cover.. Promo art thing, but the child was excited about it and damn his paternal instincts.

So, of course, he lied! “It looks interesting,” he stated. “Go on, play it. I can tell you want to.” 

Grinning, Dipper put on the movie and they watched.

----

“Have I been perfect? No!” Aunt Cass ranted as she walked toward the building, nephews in tow. “Do I know anything about children? No!” She moved to unlock the door. “Should I have picked up a book on parenting!? Probably!”

Ford gestured with a hand toward the screen. “I can relate to this,” he stated blankly, eliciting a chuckle from Dipper. It was true. He had no idea how those kids hadn’t died yet under his and Stan’s care.

And.. they kept watching. A quick summary:

“Oh, there’s the marshmallow guy.”

“The whole ‘invention getting a person into college’ thing hits just a bit too close to home.”

“TADASHI NOOOOOOOOOO”

And so on. The ending? Pure agony. 10/10. He was wrong about not being interested. Stan and Mabel had joined them sometime during the movie and Mabel had long since made herself comfortable on top of his chest. 

“Is that all I am to you?” Ford complained without any real bite in his voice. “A cushion?”

Mabel giggled in response, “you were gonna get up if I didn’t! I’m helping!” Then shifted to hug him and pulled Stan into it as well. “You and Grunkle Stan are the best cushions, anyway.”

“Quit bein’ sappy, Mabel.” Stan grumbled, though he hid most of his emotions beneath that gruff shell that was completely transparent to Ford. He was clearly trying not to cry. “I can’t take that right now.” He sniffed.

Dipper leaned over to look at him, pausing the credits with the push of a button. “Are you.. Crying?” 

“Wow, would you look at that!” Stan whipped to his feet and enthusiastically pointed at the clock, reading 11:34. “It’s half an hour past your bedtime!” Instead of acknowledging Dipper and Mabel’s groans and protests, he nudged them toward the stairs with a grumpy, “eh!”

Then he turned to Ford with the same stern look. Why did that make him nervous?

“You too, Ford,” the dreaded words came out flatly, like they had no meaning. Ford shot him a glare as an unspoken no. “Don’t gimme that look. You need sleep if you wanna get better.” Stan knelt to nudge his shoulder. “Dipper told me everything.”

Oh, what a rat! ..Not actually he would never say that about his nephew. 

He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look like he wasn’t about to hoodwink his way out of.. “Bedtime”. Eugh. “You know I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to, I’m not tired whatsoev-”

A bottle of red gummies was slammed into the coffee table in front of him, causing him to flinch back and go silent. “..you were saying?” His twin gave an unimpressed look. 

“Is that melatonin?” Asked Ford, clearly reading the “melatonin” label and knowing damn well it was melatonin. “In- In gummy form, nonetheless?” Being the pragmatic problem-solver he was, he’d already developed a plan. Stall for as long as possible. “Hey, wait– how long have you had those?”

As Stan opened the bottle and shook two gummies out, he realized it might be a little late to just rant about neurochemicals until he got bored and left. “Eat,” he ordered curtly and dumped them into his hand. “They’re pretty good, honestly.”

“You didn’t answer my-”

“Stop stalling.”

Ford let out a similar groan to those of Dipper and Mabel after being told to go to bed, then shoved the gummies into his mouth.

Hm. They weren’t bad.. Strawberry with a hint of some kind of chemical. Spicy in a weird way, but it was better than you’d expect a medication to taste.

“You know, I normally get my sugar-right-before-bed fix in via jellybeans,” he commented. Popping gummies just to sleep at night. Gummies. He couldn’t believe this. 

Stan wasn’t impressed, brows lowered and a hand on his hip. “Sugar in something that’s supposed to put you to sleep would be stupid.” He closed up the bottle and shook it. “These don’t have sugar. Anyway, yeah, go to sleep.”

Ford let out a soft sigh as Stan ruffled his hair, blinked up at him a couple of times when he pulled his hand away, then watched as he undid the brace around his ankle (Dipper must have informed him that he wasn’t supposed to wear it in his sleep) and walked out of the room. He reached back in to turn off the light and called, “night, Ford.” 

“..Goodnight, Stanley,” he murmured in response and turned over to go to sleep, figuring he had no other choice.

[kennyswurvegurl]

Very Specific Chai Headcanons 3!!!!!! Cuz The Bestie [@novamation12] and I have procrastinated taken our time crafting only the finest ideas for the man.

This has been rotting in my drafts so long that TANGO FUCKING LIVES so take this in celebration

He had a joke book as a kid. Got super proud of himself when he earned a laugh out of anyone. It's a bit dirty from all the times he took it to the playground.

One time Peppermint gifted him hair extentions as a joke and spit out her drink when she saw him rocking a little ponytail the next day.

Loves the smell of jellybean grass. Has a jar in his closet.

As a kid, he had the most played School of Rock DVD ever.

At least one stray dog has tried to steal his sling from him in his life.

It's because he often hid snacks in it. Mainly Cheezits he loves those.

Has sunk way too many hours into minecraft. Pretty decent builder, nothing too elaborate but still nice.

Has purchased a cat ear headband for the SOLE REASON of matching with 808.

Absolute BEAST at the handheld WarioWare games.

Has broken 3 wii remotes.

Wants to try dnd but sucks at the math shit. He's Trying.

I had a dream he named his guitar Penelope so let's just roll with that actually

[eyesoforpheus]

i think the whole “uni professors let shit slide” thing really depends on your major because I’ve heard some nightmare stories about professors in STEM who required students to sit in specific ways and banned all electronics and were super tough graders. however, in my time as an acting student, my experiences included but were not limited to

- having a method acting class where all of us (there were only 6 of us) met up for coffee before the class and had an arrangement with the professor where if we brought him coffee on days none of us were feeling like acting we could all just sit in a circles and ask him about the industry

- having a devised theatre project where the professor gave us all finger lights and told us to go ham

- a “write a 20+ page stream of consciousness document about your life and whoever’s trauma dump is the most self aware wins” project

- teaching a class of 20 people how to do dnd combat for a grade because I didn’t feel like doing an actual project

- being forced to audition for a musical with a bad chest cold (while masked) and having a professor give me a toy dog that shits out jellybeans as a consolation prize

- a 15 minute long class discussion on suspension of disbelief in relation to using silly string to represent horse cum

[freakymcnastys]

“possibly in michigan” a creepp book - headcannons

general headcannons:

slenderman is british.

despite what people might think the mansion is way bigger on the inside

it has its own theater, bar, hell even a convenience store, no one actually knows how the store gets stocked

ben is too scared to go down there bc of that

the slender brothers come over every thanksgiving and christmas but offender is limited to the living room and dining room…

sally FORCES jeff to dress up for tea parties

jeff cuts his own hair but is surprisingly good at it

thinking about how smile dog is basically jeffs therapy dog :(((

jack has def tried to eat jeffs kidneys but give up cuz jeff woke up 💔💔

toby is an AVID game theory/matpat stan like he loves watching everything matpat is in so when he announced his retirement….lets say it was ROUGH.

slender puts all of sally’s drawings on the fridge and when they isn’t enough room he would rather buy another fridge then get rid of them

masky is like the stressed out older sibling 🤷‍♀️

ben has drank paint.

has a snapchat gc where they send each other snaps

whenever slender and jeff (or anyone for that matter) talk/argue slender has to bend at a 90 degree angle 😭😭

devon’s headcannons:

definitely butt dials people and scares the shit outta them 💀

going along with that devon totally prank calls people with ben and is like “is ur refrigerator running” 😭

her and jack watch reality tv shows (love and hiphop, dr phil, kardashins, etc)

devon’s fav movie is donnie darko…😁

she always sends jack funny tiktoks while he sends her reels

her chainsaws name is jellybean !

sometimes when she goes out with the proxys she brings fake slender pages (saying stuff like “bitchless” and the entire bee movie script) and hangs them up (but slender always finds them and yells at her)

her fav slenderbrother is probably trenderman

PERSONALLY i think that like the demon and jack are two different ppl so like whenever ‘the beast’ gets out it’s not rlly jack? yk?

so one time ‘the beast’ was fed up with jack actually letting himself feel feelings for devon that he brought devon to the tree where she got hung, to kill her 😁 but dw he failed but jack felt bad after ☹️👎

has told hoodie to ‘turn that frown upside down’….

goes up to masky and gets up real close and whispers… “i know what you are..” and just walks away..

maxine’s headcannons:

isn't quite used to newer slang so she still talks how people in the 1920s did and nobody really understands her that well...

she hates her cellphone and WILL NOT use it unless it's direly needed.

she definitely has a record collection but it's all jazzy and "old-timey" music and she does not let anyone else near her records or her record player

she would teach ben how to ballroom dance and then force him to have dancing sessions with her because her favorite thing to do when she was human was to dance at parties

slenderman FOR SURE banned smoking in the house but maxine is allowed to break that rule so she waltzes around the house with her huge cigarette holder bullying jeff cause he definitely wants to smoke.

she generally dislikes getting help with wounds and stuff because of all the malpractice that was preformed on her when she was human

the phantom of the opera (1925) is her absolute favorite movie and one day slender comes back from the store with the 2004 version and she literally falls in love with him right at that moment

she's like your grandma that 1. doesn't know how to work her phone (or tv or anything) and 2. says things that she thinks mean one thing and they actually don't... like for example....maxine: im sending lols jack: maxine someone died...why are you laughing out loud... maxine: oh i thought that meant lots of love :( jack: oh my fucking god bro

the effects of her lobotomy pop up from time to time when she's doing stuff so sometimes she loses the ability to focus and kind of "dumbs down" because people who are lobotomized often lose their higher levels of intellectuals and then she loses the ability to emotionally respond so slender has to help her out and keep an eye on her cause she might do something dumb. :(( then once she comes back she feels so bad that slender had to basically babysit her and he feels worse cause how could anyone do his love like that

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS BUT- maxine and slenderman compliment eachother so well. he's a gentleman and she's a ladylike woman and they just...fit perfectly together

her favorite modern (ish) movie is the shining cause it reminds her of the good old days and she would be like "ah yes i remember when people would kill at parties" and everyone else is like "what"

her 1920s brain loves coloring books cause she's probably never been stimulated via colors so she has a bunch of coloring books and people come over and are like "slender i didn't know you found a child" and he's all like "oh no that's just maxine"

i think sometimes she forgets she doesn't live alone and she will walk out of her room in her underwear and is like "oh great heavens my bad gs"

© love always, kat + devina <3

[bluu3berry]

Kozy? jelli? Idk.. name ideas brr

*SNORTE JELLYBEANS*

Haii gusysss here is (one) of my FURSONAS their a .. dog mixed with a lion ;333 uhm, no name yet U-U

I used a base, :33 (Base link) creds 2 possiblycoyote for dah amazing lines -3-

Accessories unda cut!!,

Don't repost, reblogs encouraged

@anon-coke @scramble-eg @thelunarsystemwrites @superbfirnacho @the-second-reason

[ignisgayentia]

working may suck ass but sometimes I am filled with such pleasure to be in the middle of busy work and see a silly baby dog keeping me company. I just pat her with my foot as I'm typing and she rolls over to show tummy. jellybean is ultimate work companion

[swaglet]

I'm sorry for your loss 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 Could you tell us some of the things you loved about your baby?

i can talk about sooo many things i loved about my baby....... yapping about him under the cut

he was super picky just like i am and when he first came home he got too nervous to eat on his own for a few days so i figured maybe it would help him if i sat and ate with him, so then it just became habit that we sat and ate together for breakfast and dinner everyday and on weekends i was home for lunch i would sit and eat lunch with him too. it's what helped me start recovering from my eating disorder because i looked forward to eating with my little baby boy everyday to make him big and strong. here's a bunch of baby pics of him i took during his first week home

during the last few weeks he was with me i made sure we ate breakfast lunch and dinner together every single day, a lot of the time i was feeding him & giving him water with a syringe on the bad days, but when he felt well enough to eat he would get so excited to eat with me and i'd give him little plates that matched mine but he preferred to eat out of my hands and drink from a cup i held out to him

he really liked to share my cups with me in general, he used to stick his whole head in my drinks trying to see what was in my cup so eventually i just started holding them out for him to drink whenever he got curious (as long as it was something safe for ferrets). he would drink water and herbal tea with me, but he was not very interested in milk or sparkling water or anything carbonated

one of his favorite things to do was go "fwimming" and "norkeling", he wasn't a big fan of playing in water but he absolutely loved to stick his head under the water in his water bowl and blow bubbles with his nose and every time he did it i would go "he fwimming! he norkeling!" all excited and he would keep doing it and then come rub his soaking wet stinky little face all over me

i could always tell when he was getting sleepy because he would get "sleepy eyes", his little bottom eyelids would turn slightly red and puffy before he would even start yawning and i knew he was ready to take a nap because of his sleepy eyes. i would get under a big fuzzy blanket no matter where i was at and he would crawl under it with me and curl up into a ball and fall asleep as close to me as he possibly could and sometimes i would sing to him while he fell asleep or while he was sleeping. i even put one of his hammocks on the underside of both of my bunks so he could sleep in a hammock near me without having to sleep in his cage. he loved his hammocks. he spent a lot of nights sleeping by me instead of in his cage. jellybean preferred to cuddle with him to go to sleep, so she would always come find him before they went to bed for the night and he'd let her sleep with him wherever he was sleeping

the very first night i let him sleep out of his cage with me years and years ago, after i spend weeks ferret proofing my whole room, he woke up earlier than me and found out a new way to get on my desk (i never found out how he did it) and opened my jumbo bag of sunflower seeds and i woke up to the sound of them being thrown against the wall and the feeling of them raining down on my face. he was shaking the bag like a dog shakes a toy and they were going EVERYWHERE

he was very interested in cheesy snacks like cheezits and goldfish crackers, and i usually wouldn't ever give him the whole thing so it didn't upset his belly, but i would always let him lick the cheese dust off of things if he got curious while i was eating them

his favorite toy in the whole world was this sorta realistic mouse toy that squeaked when it moved, and i would tell him "kill it!" every time he picked it up, and he would scrunch his whole face up to fit the whole toy in his mouth and shake it around and slam it against the floor and death roll it. it got to the point that he killed it so hard the noise maker came out of it, so i put some crinkly paper in there and sewed it back up, but he didn't like it nearly as much anymore so i bought a bulk pack of them (it came with 25) so he could have them forever. now i just have 25 of those mouse toys and the one i sewed back together is on the shrine i made for him that has his ashes and fur and pictures of him, and the rest of them are on my desk. jellybean can't hear them so she doesn't care for them and tonka doesn't know what to do with them so sometimes i shake them just to hear the noise again

his other favorite toy was tampons in the wrapper, he especially loved the ones with cardboard applicators in the paper wrappers. for years i had a box of tampons that was just for him and i would replace his old one every time he shredded the cardboard to pieces. i think he liked trying to get them out of the wrapper

he was my ESA so at first i felt weird not teaching him any emotional support tricks, so i taught him to give kisses on the nose when people would cry, so every time someone cried (including me) he would come lay on their face and lick their nose till they stopped crying. he did that forever

he also was such a good boy, he knew his name and knew "come here" and a bunch of other commands, if i told him to go potty he would go sit in the litter box and try to go even if he didn't have to

while i was potty training him, he tricked me and trained ME to give him treats; for a few days i had no idea he wasn't actually going to the bathroom, he would get in there and fake push to make it look like he was peeing or pooping, and then i would give him a treat because i THOUGHT he went to the bathroom. nope he tricked me to get treats. so every time he got out of the litter box i had to check to make sure he went before i gave him his treat LOL. he was too smart i luv him sm

i think one of my most favorite things about him is that if he felt like his momma wasn't giving him enough attention, he would grab me by the hand or by the sock and start pulling me toward his stash (where ferrets put all their toys, it's a behavior they do) and try to put me in there with all his favorite things. bored with mom? just put her away. real talk though i think he would try to stash me because he loved me so much and every time he did it i would almost cry (or even just burst into tears) becos he loved me so much he wanted to put me with all his stuff. i was his stuff. i was valuable enough to him and loved so much by him that he wanted to put me with all his stuff

side note jellybean does that to my boyfriend everyday (stashes him with her stuff) it's so endearing