#my dad was like “I think you're being scammed” and I was like no you just have no idea how overdue my car is for literally so many things.

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason and Roy being friends and using class of 09 characters (less insane):

*It sucks the creator of this game sucks, but these lines are still funny to me since I treat the game as a comedy*

Jason and Roy sat together having lunch at Burger King and discussing a charity event.

Roy: I'm pretty sure Ollie is running a charity scam.

Jason: No, I looked into the organization he's working with are the scammers. His name wasn't on the board of trustees. He's being scammed and the people running it are probably somewhere in Florida.

Roy (confused): How do you know this much about charities?

Jason (serious): My fucking piece of shit dad—who I want to kill—worked for a charity like that.

Roy (exasperated): Is there—okay, we won't explore that one. Do you really think he's not apart of it?

Jason: I doubt your father is smart enough to run a fake charity. He definitely fell for one though, the company is advertising NFTs on Tiktok. If that's not a scam I don't know what is.

Roy: They're advertising what on where?

Jason: It didn't makes any sense to me. Ollie seems like the type of fall for that though.

Roy: I... Yeah he is. Thanks.

Jason: I just find it funny he's that gullible.

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Roy (agreeing to breaking into a bank): I'm cool with it.

Jason (shouting): Shut the fuck up!

Roy: I said I’m cool with it!

Jason: Nah, not you. I was hearing the voice again, telling me I'm wrong about something.

Roy: That isn’t even odd to me anymore, but have you tried listening to him?

Jason (chuckling): That’s a funny joke.

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Jason: Do you know what a whip-it is?

Roy: I never did whip-its.

Jason: You look like the type who would use them.

Roy (happy): Oh, thank you!

Jason: That's strange that you took that as a compliment.

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Jason: Where’s the coward arrow?

Roy: He hasn’t been around since you made him cry… and stuck to your promise about slashing his tires.

Jason: He better be afraid of me, because I’m not the one.

Roy: Oh yeah?

Jason nodded, a serious look crossing his face.

Jason: I don’t like how he talks to you. You’re really cool and smart. Handsome, I’ll admit—and you should be treated as such.

Roy raised an eyebrow, surprised.

Roy: Wow… that… um… have I really been deprived of a compliment for this long?

Jason: We’re friends. I’m going to be nice to you. Don’t worry about it.

Roy: And you're not trying to sell drugs to me?

Jason: You’re a recovering addict and my friend. No, I’m not going to sell you drugs.

Roy: Then I definitely went through it in life.

Jason: Has your dad ever complimented you?

Roy (laughing dryly): Not for a long… long time.

Jason: ‘Cause he doesn’t appreciate what he has. And seriously, Roy, if I ever see him talk to you like that again, I will rip his beating heart out and hand it to you on a silver platter!

Roy: And you’re not trying to have me relapse and then kill me?

Jason: N-no. I like you. You’re neat.

Roy: Oh… hm… the heart platter part is fucked up, but that’s so kind of you. This not being a ploy and you actually wanting to be my friend is still an adjustment.

Jason: Oh my God… you poor thing, you’re welcome. You make me dying seem like a coma. This is why I will be your friend forever! I will not let anyone hurt you, and if they do… they're gonna meet God!

Jason hugged the man, tightly. Roy patted the man’s back and then shrugged accepting this insane friendship.

Roy: Hm… All right.

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Jason (paranoid): Spontaneous? Are you talking down to me?

Roy: No, it’s just a word that I read about in… um… Wuthering Heights?

Jason: Oh yeah, that’s a good book. I love you.

Roy: All right… Why did that make me feel happy?

Jason: Because you haven’t heard it in a while, and neither have I. That’s why I said it to you. I love you.

Roy: I… heart… you too.

Jason chuckled and pulled Roy into another hug. Roy smiled, confused, but not terrified. He patted Jason on the back, both appreciating the moment.

"You slashed his tires?"

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[neverendingford]

.

[https-milo]

the baker's daughter - 400 cupcakes

WORK SYNOPSIS Y/n L/n works at a small bakery owned by her parents. One day, a pro hero in training shows up asking for 400 cupcakes.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Chapter 1 - 400 Cupcakes

masterlist / next chapter

The bell above the door rang, alerting me someone was entering the bakery. "Hello! Good afternoon, how may I help you?" I ask. The man who entered had split hair, one side was white and the other was red. His eyes were different too. On his right he had a dark grey eye, and on his left was an ice blue. The left side of his face was scarred around his eye and down his cheek. Another thing I notice is his U.A. uniform. I quirk an eyebrow at this, knowing the uniform was always a sure sign of a quirk-user.

"Good afternoon. I have a question, it's very sudden," the boy said.

"Shoot!" I said with a smile. The boy tilts his head, not getting my words. "Oh uh, ask away..?" The boy nods.

"How fast can you make 400 cupcakes?"

I choke on my spit, "S-sorry?"

"400 cupcakes, how much and how long?"

"I uh, would have to ask my parents," I answer. "They should be in the back, I'll go get them."

The boy nods and I leave the cash register to the kitchen where my mom is baking and my dad decorating pastries. I knock on the wooden doorframe before entering. "There's a boy up front asking for 400 cupcakes," I explain.

"Sweetie, what did we say about believing scams?" Mom sighed.

"Hey! That was one time!" I pout. "But I think this one is serious, he's wearing a U.A. uniform. You know how the people from that school are."

"Quirk havers? Probably thought he was being kind going to a quirkless business," Dad grumbled. Mom looked at him with empathy. The three of us were judged harshly for our lack of quirks, we weren't 'ideal' in the current society. That angered my father.

"I'll go see what he wants, you stay here, F/N," Mom sweetly said. She rubbed his shoulder soothingly and walked out of the kitchen with me.

"Hi, my daughter tells me you're interested in 400 cupcakes?" My mom greeted him.

"Yes, that's correct. How much would that be and how long would that take?" The boy replied.

"Well, it'll run you almost 82 thousand yen..." Mom hesitantly said, knowing the price would scare most people off.

"Doesn't matter. I just need them in time for the U.A. School Festival," The boy said.

"Oh so you're rich-rich," I mumble to myself. The boy must've heard as he looked at me confused. My mom lightly hit my arm. I roll my eyes playfully.

"Well... that's two weeks away. We should have enough time!" Mom answered. "We do a half payment upfront and you pay us the rest once you collect the cupcakes."

"I can pay it all at once, it's no trouble," the boy said. He pulled out a black credit card. I looked at my mom and she shared my same thought "money, money, money".

"Right, that'll be... 81,700 yen," my mom said. She entered the price in the register and turned the card reader to face the customer.

Silently, he put the card in and used the PIN number. The satisfying ding of the payment going through made the workers at the shop elated. "Right! Thank you. If you could leave your name and number, my daughter will contact you for information regarding what you want." Mom explained. She offered over a pen and a notepad.

"Sure," the boy said. He grabbed the pen and paper and wrote his information on it.

"Thank you again... Todoroki," Mom said, her eyes widened when she read his last name. He nodded and walked out. Mom turned to face me, she had a mischievous smile on her face. I knew what she was up to.

"My daughter will contact you," I mocked. "REALLY MOM?!" My face flushed with color as I covered my face in embarrassment.

"Just trying to set my baby up!" Mom teased. "But you really should message him, we kind of need to know what to make."

"I can't believe he paid up front like that..." I said amazed.

"Right?! Didn't ask for proof or previous works... paid just like that."

"Why'd you look surprised at his name?"

"Todoroki is the last name of the number 1 pro hero."

"All.. Might..?" I was never really caught up on heroes. The prospect never interested me. Being a hero was a dream I could never chase. All because of the extra joint in my pinky toe.

"No. All Might retired. Endeavor!"

"Oh cool," I reply. Mom rolls her eyes. I stick out my tongue and pull out my phone. I put Todoroki's number from the paper into my contacts.

I showed Mom the messages. "Music-related, huh?" "I think it's kinda cool," I defended. She hummmed. "I'll work something up with your dad. Why don't you head upstairs?" She offered. "I can help you know!" I groan. "I know you can. But you also have a bunch of homework," Mom countered. "What's the point? I mean, I'm probably just going to end up working here for the rest of my life." "I don't want that for you, hun. This was mine and your father's dream, it doesn't have to be yours too." I sigh, "Fine. Goodnight, Mom. I love you." "I love you too."

I walk upstairs to the living area my parents and I reside. I open my bedroom door and flop onto my bed. I didn't bother doing my homework, instead I just stared at the ceiling. I thought back to the customer. He wasn't bad-looking at all. I hope I get to see him again. Well I mean I will, but maybe (and hopefully) not in the context of buying cupcakes at my parents' bakery.

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

Thank you so much for reading <3

[smytherines]

Fuck it, here's an Agent Mega dissertation

Alright since I have such elaborate headcanon for my beloved precious Owen Carvour, I guess I should do it for Agent Curt Mega too. Sigh.

So, going off of the last big one, if Owen is born in 1928, then I'm gonna say Curt was born in 1930. I'm forever won to the Texan agent mega headcanon, but I think it's safe to say that Mrs. Mega is not from Texas, probably more like New York or I've seen people say New Jersey.

We know nothing about Agent Mega's dad, but I imagine he was kind of a loser and low level con artist and moved his pregnant wife down to Texas to do scams around the bustling oil industry, and then soon after Curt was born a scam collapsed and he ran off. It's either that or an Aladdin 3 situation where he was secretly a spy the whole time and had to go into hiding.

So we've got mama Mega, raising a VERY hyperactive (read: ADHD) little boy on her own, in a place where she doesn't have any support, and he just becomes her entire world. But she has to work a lot, so Curt becomes used to taking care of himself, and most importantly- keeping himself busy so he doesn't lose it.

In this headcanon Curt would only be 15 when WWII ends- not old enough to fight, but definitely old enough to have personally known a lot of kids from his hometown who come home in caskets. I just truly think of WWII as a formative experience for both these guys. For Curt it just feeds into that inferiority complex.

Now anybody who has ADHD knows that you already spend a lot of your life feeling inadequate, feeling self-conscious about not being able to be the person other people want you to be (*especially* if you're queer). You get defensive, especially when criticized. You also get restless.

I headcanon Curt as growing up in Abilene, Texas, mostly because I have a friend who grew up there and I've visited and the vibe is right.

I don't know if anybody has ever seen The Last Picture Show, but its a film set in small town Texas in 1951-1952 (so a little late for our timeline but still) and it's (more or less) about two high school seniors essentially trying to escape this suffocatingly small, dying town before they become doomed to spend their lives trapped there.

That's definitely what I think about Agent Mega too- this gay, ADHD teenage boy climbing the walls of this little town, never being able to fully be himself. But he's got a lot of energy (and more than a little anger) to burn off, so he does sports. It's Texas, so football for sure. Maybe wrestling too. Perhaps wrestling is even where he has his gay come to jesus moment.

And when he isn't doing sports, he's home, alone (mama Mega is working so hard), out back drinking a beer (or two, or three) and teaching himself how to shoot. I think he becomes hyperfixated on becoming an expert marksman, because with all of this shit he cannot control, all the stuff he is supposed to be but isn't, this is one area where it feels like he has the power here.

What starts off as "kid drinking beer to feel cool and rebellious" starts to morph into a lifetime dependence on alcohol. Substance use is a big issue for a lot of ADHDers for the same reason I think it would be for Curt- it calms him down. It eases that constant restlessness in his bones. It softens the edges of other people's criticisms of him. It makes him care a bit less what others think about him.

In a vicious cycle, he drinks to avoid feeling those big feelings (especially as a man, especially as a gay man, especially as a gay man in Texas), but the drinking leads to more criticism, which leads to more drinking to numb the emotional response to that criticism.

But his hyperfixation on learning to shoot pays off. Let's say he becomes a junior state champion trapshooter (did I look up trapshooting competitions from the 1940s? yes I did). He's good, especially when he hits the sweet spot of drinking just enough to calm his ass down but not so much that he's useless. Maybe this is how he comes to the attention of the A.S.S.

And he fully believes that these skills he cultivated, the ability to hit hard and run fast and shoot accurately, his ability to escape when it doesn't feel remotely possible, is why many years later he just kinda rolls his eyes at Owen for insisting that they do things carefully and methodically. Careful didn't get him out of small town Texas. Careful didn't get him the exciting non-stop life he has now, a life where he *almost* gets to be himself a lot of the time.

When Owen "dies," and its Curt's fault, he naturally turns to drinking to numb that pain. But its a lot of pain, so it takes a lot of alcohol to kill it.

I'm sure I could go on, but as always I have rambled a lot here so I'm just gonna leave it.

[scarlet-witchery]

You don’t get how bad I need your fem!gallavich headcanons 😭😭 (that being said pls - with no pressure - share some 🙏🙏🙏)

OKAY DON'T WORRY I'VE GOT A LOT OF THEM TO SHARE WITH YOU I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR SOME GOOD WLW FEM!GALLAVICH FEELS (these may be a little all over the place but just roll with me here okay? okay here we go)

to start with, Ian is a nickname for Lillian, Mickey is a nickname for Mykhaila (Ukrainian feminine form of Mikhailo)—they'd still go by Ian and Mickey, because if Lip can be a nickname for Phillip then all bets are fucking off :p

technically all of this started with my brain going "lesbian gallavich with hella self image issues" because they don't feel like they can measure up to their "prettier" sister (Mandy and Fiona) but both of them thinking the other is gorgeous as hell. Mickey being kind of a femme/butch (which is why she's the one who calls the shots with her brothers, she's the tomboy compared to Mandy), and Ian wanting to be all pretty and femme but doesn't think there's a point to it because money and also she doesn't think highly of herself

things would be way different for them both as lesbians—Ian would definitely still be the forgotten middle child, although she and Lip would still be Fiona's backup ("you two are my rocks") because I refuse to believe that girl Ian wouldn't be just as committed to ROTC and fitness as canon Ian. She'd be able to kick anyone's ass any day of the week. I think she'd really look up to Lip and ofc he'd love Ian as his little sister but like, with the same kind of condescending vibe he gives Fiona and Debbie? Although maybe since they're practically twins his misogyny toward Ian wouldn't be as blatant.

she'd still be taller than him (tallest Gallagher no matter what!) and have long red hair that she just throws back in a bun or ponytail all military style. I can't see her having short hair just because short cuts can be a lot to maintain, better just to let it grow and keep it pulled back. (I know, I've thought way too much about the little stuff lol)

Mickey would be very punk. With an undercut and all kinds of piercings. Mandy gets more attention from boys but Mickey does get her share, although of course she's like blegh. She'd rather be kicking ass and taking names and proving to her dad that she's just as good at being a fuckin Milkovich as Iggy and Colin—she's got more brains than both of them combined and she's smart as a whip when it comes to doing math, as well as where scamming people is concerned. Terry would begrudgingly acknowledge this but never misses a chance to put her down because she's just another dumb bitch. Only serves to make Mickey more determined to show what she can do, though, and her brothers and cousins are no match for her when it comes to scrappy back alley fighting. She climbed to the top of the heap early on and punches out anyone who tries to take her on.

Ian absolutely falls in the lesbian stereotype of wearing flannel constantly. I feel like she would want to do girly sorts of things but like, doesn't feel she'd measure up to Fiona or other girls so she just sticks with "comfortable" as her main fashion staple. Her and Debbie probably share a room too, although as I said above, she's still super close with Lip. Debbie would ADORE her big sister, would look up to and admire Ian because they've got so much in common—it might even be that she finds Ian's lesbian porn and that's how she knows about it ("penetration isn't required for sex to occur").

I'm not sure how they'd meet in this au but it would still probably involve Mickey chasing Ian around trying to beat her up lmao. my original thought was maybe like, either Mickey chased after Ian because of something Lip did in a reverse of canon, or Mandy thought Ian was talking shit about her. Regardless, the idea of 5'1" Mickey chasing after 5'9" Ian is hilarious especially because I feel like Ian would end up being almost six foot tall by the time she's done with puberty.

even once Ian and Mandy end up being bffs (there'd definitely be some miscommunication, but Ian doesn't wanna get murdered by the Milkovich siblings, so she manages to clear the air with Mandy when she can get away from Mickey and their brothers), Ian probably wouldn't tell Mandy she's gay, gotta keep that shit on lock. So once they're besties she's gotta endure all the boy talk and be like oh haha yeah totally…but at some point Mandy would figure it out, probably because she's not dumb and also Ian "play what cool" Gallagher is not as subtle as she thinks she is. But Mandy, other than asking if Ian has the hots for her ("you're beautiful, but I like you better as my friend"), is actually pretty chill and realizes she doesn't actually mind hanging out with a lesbo. Yes, Ian and Mandy and Mickey would use all the derogatory slurs that get used towards lesbians, although Ian is used to the casual homophobia and Mickey is the most homophobic gay ever (I feel like she'd definitely call herself a fag and a dyke once she gets more comfortable in her identity).

idk how the whole grooming thing with Kash and Ned would transfer over—maybe Ned would be some rich lesbian cougar who wants a kept girl or something. But that's unfortunately a big part of Ian's character, the middle kid who's the only one to be physically abused (and yeah, Frank would still hit Ian, boy or girl), and is desperate for any kind of affection so attaches to anyone who gives it. Kash might be a (seemingly) meek wife to some bruiser of a husband who's short and has small dog syndrome, and that makes her sympathetic in Ian's eyes, thus making it easier for her to take advantage of Ian. I try not to think about Kash too much but it is an important part of Ian's self-image

I'm gonna talk about s3 in its own post because I have some Thoughts and Ideas for some changes to make things interesting :p

season 4 would be really even more depressing because I think that when Ian is manic (there'd be no running away to the army because she couldn't use Lip's identity; instead she'd go straight her sugar mama and from there calls Monica when things get too wild) she'd end up getting pimped out by Monica to really gross straight dudes—not that there aren't creeper lesbians who like younger women, but in general it'd be easier for her to find a job stripping at a regular club (lesbian bars don't seem to have the same opportunities as a straight bar or a men's gay bar do wrt making money). Poor Lip and Debbie finding her in the skimpiest outfit, worse than anything Fiona ever had to wear for a job, with way too much makeup on and dollar bills tucked in her underwear, coked out as hell, skinny enough you can see her hipbones, brain and mouth going about 300 miles a minute...ugh.

But Mickey coming and bringing her home safe and sound <3 beating up the skeevy guys trying to roofie her <33 watching over Ian while she sleeps <333

In a happier train of thought, I love the idea that Mickey really likes Ian's long hair and plays with it when she's not really thinking and Ian gets all 😍😍😍 because it means Mickey might like her omg. Mickey has a partial undercut and Ian loves the texture of the shaved part of her hair. Tells her not to let it grow back out and everything.

Mickey having to stand on her tiptoes to kiss her stupidly tall gf ("You're too tall, Red" "Complain all you want, Mick, you know you like it”). Mickey likes getting manhandled but only by Ian—anyone else tries it and they're losing a hand. But Ian shoves her against a wall and does her whole cocky, smug, looming thing and Mickey can't help but melt in her arms (not that she'd let Ian know about it, not at first; gotta make Gallagher work for that shit. Just cause she's a fag doesn't mean that she's anyone's bitch!).

I also like to think that Ian would try the super femme thing in s4 era and Mickey, once out, would be a little more comfortable being more butch, but they both come off as a mix? I just love the idea of fem!gallavich playing with gender stuff in that very specific lesbian relationship with gender—on one of Mickey's more butch days Ian jokes and calling Mickey her boyfriend and Mickey being like oh

personally I feel like Mickey in her dyke era (s5) is an absolute pint-sized powerhouse, and still an absolute fashion icon because those cut-off vests? the tank tops? perfection🤌🏻

most of my thoughts are of early gallavich because I think things would go much differently since Sammi can't call the MPs on Ian in this au, but lemme just say that there's some fun stuff I'll be adding in another ask to add to the DRAMA

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

Sometimes when I think back on Gravity Falls I just find it funny that, even if we've never seen Mr. and Mrs. Pines before except maybe their arms on the first episode, we just know that they're actually a bunch of weirdo but pretty good parents:

They named their kids Mabel and Mason which aren't really the most common twin names in 1999 because they weren't like those other parents who'd name their kids Jennifer or something as Alex said. He even confirms they're pretty counterculture.

Instead of sending the twins to his probably decent father for vacation to get fresh air, Mr. Pines sends them to his (obviously) criminal uncle in a weird tourist trap in the woods that obviously scams people.

Mabel gets to wear one of her dad's souvenir work shirts for her pajamas and I find that wholesome.

Dipper's mom used to put him in a lamb costume when he was still a toddler and he does a little dance which is embarrassing but also pretty cute honestly. He didn't seem to have issues with this until he reached "maturity" age.

The twins had matching Halloween costumes since they were basically toddlers and they seemingly put a lot of effort into them so that means that they're very open with the kids and their creativity and most likely helped them with their more complex outfits or that they're willing to spend extra cash on giving their kids cool matching outfits that they enjoy

The mail the kids send them say so much about how positive their relationship are with their kids.

Dipper blatantly explains in a postcard sent to them that there are cryptids in the town and even begs them for weapons. Mabel straight up excitedly wants to send their mom a video of her shoving gummy worms up her nose.

This probably means they're open-minded enough to let their kids do these weird things and for their kids to even share them with them with little hesitation.

Even with Mabel being initially upset that their parents wouldn't let Waddles stay (Honestly in another perspective is understandable because how are you going to care for a farm pig in suburban California? It might take a lot of work and it's probably not the best conditions to keep an unconventional pet when you're not used to it. Like we all know Waddles is great but practically speaking it's a lot to ask someone to let their kid keep a farm animal.), we know that they probably let Waddles stay anyway after Stan forces Waddles on the bus home.

They celebrate every holiday because Mabel wants to.

Some other observations on how the twins act that could clue us in on how their parents are. These are more headcanon-leaning but yeah.

Mabel's wonderchild personality filled with sparkles and rainbows definitely show that they didn't suppress her weirdness.

The scrapbooking also adds to the idea that Mabel was definitely allowed to be super creative.

Dipper's unhinged mystery solving behavior (honestly forgot how unhinged he really was until I rewatched the show this year) definitely shows that they probably didn't suppress his weird tendencies either.

Dipper, despite his child-aged pettiness (which is normal mind you), is able to handle intense social situations and could even find the appropriate words even when things are a little too complex. The standout example I could think of was learning of the true extent of Pacifica's abuse and how he's able to find a way to give her the courage to stand up against it. Definitely the most headcanon leaning but I do think that this could also be influenced to a more open household.

The twins truly don't have bad blood between them which means that it's possible that their parents had raised them in a relatively healthy (or at least healthier than others) environment. At the very least, if there was favoritism, it wasn't obvious to cause them any resentment for each other.

I could add more but that's all what's in my brain right now.

[call-sign-shark]

Shark in the UK 🦈

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Hi everyone,

As you might have noticed I was pretty silent since my arrival in the UK. I must admit that I have been through a lot of stress and changes in a very short amount of time and it's only now that I'm finally getting used to this new situation. Below you'll find a detailed post of my adventures so far, so if you are not interested you can simply ignore this and just keep in mind that I'll be returning to my posting schedule and fan-fictions very soon. For those who are curious, fasten your motherfucking seat-belts.

While I'm not an organized person I become one when I have something important planned so I was so well prepared for this journey that I was convinced I was safe from any misadventures... How wrong I was. I was barely done with the security controls at the airport when I realized they literally broke my phone's screen. I don't know if they bumped it or not but they broke it. The same phone in which I had my boarding pass. It obviously happened the only time I didn't print my plane tickets as I usually do. :) Fortunately, my best friend had lent me his old iPhone minutes before "just in case". I managed to airdrop my boarding pass on the second phone and took the plane without trouble despite the flight being delayed by one hour.

Upon my arrival in UK, I took a taxi to the hotel and had a nice time alone. I brought myself to the restaurant and peacefully slept, getting psychologically ready to meet my host family, and oh boy. This is... Something.

When I heard the word "host family" I imagined it to be an actual family, and a bit like when you're an au pair. Retrospectively, it's completely stupid because it was never written but idk my mind went full "ok I'll live with a local family". What a surprise it was when I knocked at the door and was welcomed by one lonely man and the very acrid smell of cigarettes that jumped at my face! While my host dad (@rysko @red-riding-wood @kittenonpluto pimp nickname they said) was extremely nice and welcoming, the more he showed me around the more my face dropped. I wasn't going to spend months in a local family but in an old house more or less laid out like a hostel. A hostel with a strong cigarette smell almost everywhere, five other girls, one dude, and dirt. The differences between my expectations and reality were huge and, as you can imagine, the pill was difficult to swallow. I swear when he opened the door I was this close to run away lmao.

Between my accommodations and the new rhythm of the international school I'm studying in, my mind went completely foggy for a few days. I didn't know what to think or what to feel anymore. Worse, I didn't know if my money was well-spent or if I just got scammed. Now, read what follows before you call me "ungrateful" or "princess-like".

It’s not what I got that made me feel bad, but rather the stupid and nonsensical expectations I had in mind. Then, I slowly realized that it wasn't because I hadn't expected it and that it couldn't be fun. Maybe it had a lot to do with how nice the five other girls and the people at my school are, but I started // I am starting to really enjoy it. The house might be old and not "that clean" (or at least not as clean as I'm used to), but the host dad is lovely, cooks for us every day, we have fast wifi, are close to the school, we have a key and are free to come and go as much as we want without a curfew, and the bedrooms, as well as the toilets, are clean. To be honest, some students have it really worse. I mean, I'm talking about students having to sleep in a room crowded with 7 people, or having to sleep on a mattress on the ground, the host family asking them to buy and cook their own food to the extent of some even locked the kitchen's door at night to avoid the student snacking/stealing food at night. Or students who are on 1 hour of bus-trip long from the school — those conditions I find absolutely disgusting for the extremely expensive price the students have to pay for this language exchange. With everything said, I consider myself lucky despite the cigarette smell and the "clean but not really clean" house.

As I'm writing this, it's Saturday 10 am and I can finally say it: I'm happy to be here, it's a one-life experience and I'm incredibly lucky my parents offered it to me. Unfortunately, I've caught a very bad cold and I've been sick since Wednesday: I think the combination of my emotional rollercoaster, the crazy British weather, my fatigue and half of my classroom being sick have finished me off. Now I can't wait to get better to start attending to a shitton of activities, planning trips around, and going to the pub. Also, I've got my nails done! Look at my freakin' sharp claws teehee.

Congratulations if you're still there by the way, lmao! Thank you for reading my nonsense. I'll be back very soon, both for writing and commenting, just wait for my cold to get better!

Love,

Shark.

tagging some moots: @zablife @brummiereader @emotionalcadaver @justrainandcoffee @peakyswritings @peakyltd

[starmage-constellar]

anyone talking about the secondary musical reference in thisisnotawebsitedotcom?

i dare say i'm stretching it but

with a capital "T", and that rhymes with "P" and stands for "pool"? or, even, words like.. like "swell?" (trouble, trouble, trouble.)

or, if you want to go even further, he's got a girl in every county [...] and that's 102 counties!

the speech predates the musical by a whole 5 years but i think that's the least of our concerns

(more nerdass explanations down below)

if you're not familiar with what musical is being referenced here, i don't blame you. it was a broadway phenomenon in the late 50s-early 60s in america, later had a (rather stellar) hollywood adaptation, and an at-home movie adaptation in 2003.

it's called "the music man," and the only reason i even know of the musical is because it's one of my dad's favorites.

now, i could just stop here, leave you with the information, and go on my merry way. but as someone who is (for better or for worse) very well acquainted with the story of "the music man," you bet your bottom dollar that i noticed some parallels right quick.

the protagonist of "the music man," harold hill, is a traveling con man who's so well-versed at the art of sales that he can put up with the speedy advancements of society without an issue. he seems to have a particular scheme of promising to set up marching bands all around illinois, then running with the money before they get a chance to check him out for anything.

though, of course, professor hill proves himself not a con man for the sake of one person. a lovely librarian and pianist, marian paroo. she's a skeptic and sees professor hill for the scam artist that he is, and attempts to distance herself from him and prove he's a liar. sounds familiar, doesn't it?

(though, of course, ms. paroo doesn't set professor hill on fire, and emmaline doesn't start dating the pseudo-alive silas at the end of the story.)

now, there's already enough comparison to make here already, even if half-assed, but i'd like to take a deeper look at the specific song that silas was mentioning here. "ya got trouble."

professor hill, a little bit after settling into our story's setting of river city, illinois, is informed that the billiard room was just hooked up with a new pool table. this sets off his plan to rally river city to his side: convince them of the trouble that could arise from such "sinful" activities such as your teenaged kids sneaking off to... play pool!

"Just as I say; it takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score In a balkline game; I say that any boob Can take and shove a ball in 'a pocket And I call that sloth; The first big step on the road to the depths of deg-ra-day I say, first: medicinal wine from a teaspoon ... then beer from a bottle!"

the narrative of the song follows professor hill deluding the crowd into his point: don'tcha see what we've come to? the new pool tables here? heck, pool at all, for that matter! do you want your kids bein' enticed by sin like that, hm? influencin' their fickle, innocent minds with this sort of stuff when they can't fight against the devil, unlike us adults?!

(note, "mass-staria" is a portmanteau of "mass hysteria")

silas does almost the EXACT opposite, in terms of message. isn't conformity boring? society, law; it's all so mundane! conformity's made in order to hide what you're REALLY meant to be: a crazed, sinful animal! you were MEANT to act on your impulses, every desire you've had. stop following the flock, and follow those who renounce society, like me.

take a listen for yourself, too, i'm sure you could find even more to it if you looked deeper, dug further.

and i'm sure i have more thoughts, but i think i might've lost my own plot on this one.

[crimeronan]

god i know i keep half-tongue-in-cheek saying that my dad is literally belos owlhouse but. i've apparently gotten a little desensitized to Just How Bad He Is (because i have ESCAPED, YAY) & so today has been a delightful adventure.

i wrote an AITA post from his POV about stuff that happened several years ago, bc i was curious about how bad he'd get dragged - i updated the timeline but the Only fact i changed was the reason for his Woes (i blamed COVID economic struggles, which actually makes him a Hero compared to the truth. the truth being so ugly i'm not gonna detail it here good god).

i kept it true to POV by only using things that he actually did say to me at the time about why he was doing the things that he was doing, & blocking out all the relevant info about why the wronged party (me) was so upset, & having him praise his daughter (me) and go "i love her so much :) she's so smart and independent and i would never hurt her :)", & having him half-assedly admit he might've sounded unreasonable/angry/malicious, in a way that was clearly supposed to earn Good Dad points for being so Willing To Admit Imperfections, despite a continued constant doubling-down refusal to answer questions about actual important shit or fix anything ever.

cannot emphasize enough that this was not a fictionalized/embellished/creative POV. the only points of fiction were 1) my dad did not write these things on reddit, he said them to me in real life word for word instead and 2) this happened many years ago, not like... yesterday.

anyway the thread blew up and the commenters were all so kind and genuinely worried for me (as in, the daughter) and offering so much help that i hopped on a diff account to be my past self so i could reassure people i'm okay & had a plan in motion for gettin' the hell outta dodge. because i felt REALLY BAD that they didn't know i..... did in fact get out. people were so nice it made me actually fucking cry jesus CHRIST. i had in fact perhaps forgotten that these things were all as bad and worrying as they were

now. this is all a very serious and harrowing-sounding prelude to the actual point of this post, which is. a bullet list of some of my FAVORITE FUCKING RESPONSES. revel in these with me i had so much fucking fun. i have taken DOZENS AND DOZENS of screenshots to peruse whenever i need a healthy dose of Perspective

here they r:

you are CARTOONISHLY EVIL?

HOLY ABUSE BATMAN

DO BETTER. RIGHT NOW.

did you even listen to yourself writing this. HOW

there's something seriously wrong with you. like on an intrinsic unfixable level

hey this happened to me too! my parent died and i had a party about it btw

your daughter is never going to speak to you again after this

(note from the future: yeah)

you're going to act confused and sad when she goes no-contact aren't you

(NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: HE SURE FUCKING IS)

i think you are creating your own problems and then getting mad at them. maybe instead you could not do that

is this ragebait. i can't imagine anyone this horrible actually existing

this isn't ragebait. i can tell this isn't ragebait because I Know This Kind Of Man So Intimately

you are the asshole on literally so many levels i'm going to write a 15 paragraph response line-by-line dissecting everything wrong with you

are you aware that you're lying or are you literally this incapable of 2 seconds of honest self-reflection

i need to donate to a gofundme for your daughter right now immediately

(note from the future: i am not going to scam people by pretending a long-done sitch is a current emergency on gofundme. have no fear.)

wow. okay i'm gonna go hug my mom and thank her for not being you

you are Actually Literally Empirically the Actual Literal Worst Parent who has Actually Literally Ever Existed

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????

WHO DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU ARE.

I AM A 57-YEAR-OLD MOM OF FOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND THE MERE THOUGHT OF DOING ANY OF THE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE HERE MAKES ME PHYSICALLY NAUSEOUS

these vibes are so skeevy. leave her the fuck alone????

along with ASTONISHINGLY accurate inferences about exactly what was happening with the daughter (me) in all the missing missing reasons & like..... exactly how the situation was So Much More Ugly And Horrifying than an innocently confused i'm-so-well-intentioned dad-POV post would have you believe.

so. anyway. that was literally the most validating experience i've ever had in my entire life. i know i've said he's a bad guy before but i also always forget just how far beyond the pale he is. like wow that was. that was not a normal average human experience to have growing up huh.

IN CONCLUSION.

if you guys are ever wondering why i am the way that i am about, like........ anything....... everything....... whatever......

just remember.

i was raised by belos owlhouse.

[inkysandwich]

Aw, guys. This chapter made me super happy. Chapters with all four of them together are my favorites, but actually it's always the ones with Qiu, too.

I love this man.

He's more of an agent of chaos in this story than She Li is (was 🫤) Not because Q is unpredictable or poses an immediate threat, but because him being near generally indicates that someone else has plans. I mean... It's not totally unbelievable that He Cheng forgot to feed Q and he really is just swinging by the market on the way home to his now emptier, dogless home.

But is he?

I doubt it.

Though I do not doubt that he's using his current goose-wrangling babysitting gig to get in on that certified home cooked MGS action. Again.

Qiu is cheeky and bold and unyeildingly bulldozes his way into where he needs to be. Which is why he's the perfect bridge for HC to have between himself and the idiots. Do you think HC would have gotten the same reaction, stumbling into them and bribing himself a seat at the dinner table to keep an eye on them?

Q is crass--even his boss--and that makes him approachable. He's just a dude with a job he thought would be better (like MGS) that he got because he has a level of loyalty to a powerful man that he can't fully explain or probably even justify (like HT) and is now responsible for the safety of a flighty idiot that can't seem to stop getting kidnapped (like ZZX). But he's strong and capable and protects the people he needs to protect (like JY wants to be, HT too). Q can reach them in ways that HC's position would never allow.

He's there when they need more hands in a fight, when the kids are being scammed, when they can't build a fire, when they can't get to school on time, when JY needs to be un-kidnapped, when HT gets to say goodbye to his dog. He gets them ice cream (and king crab!) and guitars and firewood. He gives them rides on his motorcycle and lets them roughhouse but punishes them when they take it too far. He teaches them how to be stronger and when to show restraint and oh my god Qiu is the only suitable father figure in this whole damn story.

It's just a bonus that I'm never going to be sad looking at any part of him.

But his presence is a harbinger.

Of impending mafia send-offs? Of looming threats of rivals? Of teenaged hijinks or mindless street thugs? Of malicious neighbors with cat lasers toys?

We won't know until they strike. (Although, I have my assumptions)

I was going to talk more about the chapter, but this kinda became a Q appreciation post. I couldn't help it. And neither could I help the onslaught of senseless head cannon from taking over.

Because I really really want to see Mom's reaction to Q. He's a gruff muscles-definitely-for-more-than-show dude, but she lives with a prickly "delinquent" that towers over most people, so she knows how to read between the lines.

But--and I WILL die on this hill--she knows how to read between the lines.

Do I think we'll ever get the Momma confrontation I've asked for so badly for years now? Probably not outside of my drafts. But I don't care. She knows, and I know she knows, and you know I know she knows👃

Because in the same breath that I wish for her to react to the mafia presence, I also just... I want this single dad (yes, single. You're going to make him do all the childrearing, send him off to clean up the messes, AND STILL NOT FEED HIM?!) to be treated kindly by the mother of all mothers. I want them to commiserate on keeping track of these animals. I want him to reassure her that her son isn't going to be held back any more. I want her to make him soup that tastes so good he asks for some to go and she gives it to him under the condition that he comes by any time he wants a home cooked meal.

And HT dies a little inside. And so does MGS the first time "A-Qiu" takes her up on her offer...

I'll stop now before I make any grievous mistakes, but I'm sure you can imagine that my draft list of questionable prompts is growing 😈

[cccccasperghost]

Does anyone else feel a little icky about oakworthy rn?

Especially after this episode it just doesn't feel right. Like at first it was fucking sweet to see a queer person in the main cast, like "oh an awkward quirky boy crushing on an overly confident drama dweeb, sick."

After the comedy standup episode and learning that no he didn't steal the mascot costume for school spirit and no he doesn't actually like Normal I was like ok cool, not ideal but certainly salvageable. Maybe an friends to enemies to lovers kind of thing, I still have hope for them.

Them after that is was just all downhill. It feels more like Hermie's just using the fact that Normal likes him for his own gain and that just doesn't sit right.

Like yeah Hermie has his own shit with his dad's going on as well as obvious mental health issues to deal with but that shouldn't be an excuse. And it certainly shouldn't be Normal's job to fix that.

And the fact that Normal is now developing actual feelings for Hermie and genuinely trying to help someone who (for lack of a better word because it feels too little to say crush) he loves just breaks me to see him get treated like this.

Hermie knows Normal likes him and he's actively using that to try and get Normal to first kill his dad then get with two of his friends.

Maybe if Hermie sees how much pain he's putting Normal through, or I don't know like Normal being doodlerised or something and he starts either trying or move on maybe then they can build a relationship or friendship.

I just want Normal to be happy, maybe it's just my own baggage filling into this or something but this isn't right. The amount of stress that Normal's under has got to stop.

I mean first your dad goes missing, then you realize your dad has been running some organization to fight monsters, turns out he isn't proud of you, one of you're friends alliance herself with a murderer, they kill your principal Infront of you, your dad fucked with the world up, you have to go into another dimension to save your dad, a weird monster thing from that world is the only person to see how hurt you are right now, you're finally able to go home, now your friends going through some shit that you have to help with. After that you learn that the boy you've been crushing on scammed you for your mascot costume, something you love very dearly, but that's fine you think its awesome that someone has that much school spirit- SIKE. Turns out he didn't do it for any reason you thought, actually he couldn't give less of a shit about you, now he's asking you to kill his dad for a date, then goes directly to you for advise to get with your friends after you learn that your very cruelty free very vegan and consent enforcing parents have been forcing your sister to fight and kill animals because she has to be the chosen one.

Like dude can't catch a break, so much is out of his control and none of the kids or adults seem to be doing anything about it or care. This is probably one of the only things he can control in his life and yet he's still getting hurt by it.

It would make sense if he got doodlerised and honestly that might have to be the thing that get his family and friends to care about it. I'm not saying all the other teens traumas and struggles aren't valid but you can't compare them.

Taylor has always had a good life, he's had a caring, rich, and financially stable mother.

Linc has two wonderful dads who care about his mental health and supports his interest, sure grant hasn't always been truthful about his really dangerous job but even when they were trying to keep the teens in the d.a.d.d.i.e.s building he cared about his sons wellbeing.

Scary is the only one out of them who stands a chance against the emotional pain scale against normal. Shehas a wonderful mother, but she struggles with not having her dad around and doesn't feel like she fits in her own family and now the fact that her step father has been shot in front of her which I'm not saying isn't as bad as what Normal's going through just hold on. All of the teens struggle don't even touch the generational pain that normal is going through with his entire life and the lives of his dad and uncle and his grandfather.

It's clear he's trying so hard to carry everyone else's pain and Hermie is deliberately using his kind and caring nature and it feels so wrong. He's not blind he can see how much normal is holding and using his emotions and Normal's knowledge on how he views him and using it against him.

I want so badly for it to work but I don't know how it can.

Anyways this was more stream of consciousness than I wanted but let me know your ideas on it, maybe I'm thinking about it wrong I don't know.

[the-writer-nerd-ro]

Louie and Gosalyn, maybe?? I always wanted to see their dynamic :D

I love these two they're so devious, I had to write the start of their friendship

Send me asks pairing two of the Ducktales good guys and I will write a short fic with them interacting. Not for Ships. Based on this post.

Fic below:

"Dewey's not here today," Louie said, having opened the door to reveal a very serious, expectant looking Gosalyn.

"Shoot. What about Huey?"

"No, they're all off on a thing." Another adventure that Louie had just narrowly avoided.

"Even Webby?"

"Mm-hm."

"What about your ghost butler?"

"He does what he wants. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Oh come on, I'm not even your last resort? That's offensive. I thought we were friends."

"Name one time we've hung out."

Louie opened his mouth.

"Webby's birthday party doesn't count."

Louie closed his mouth, sulking a little.

"I am just as good as Huey or Dewey," Louie insisted.

"What about Webby?"

"I'm not delusional, but she's not here so take it or leave it."

Gosalyn let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine."

"No need to be grateful or anything. What's the problem?"

"I think my dad- er, Drake, is being scammed. I want to give the scammer a taste of their own medicine."

Louie's eyes lit up. He loved scamming scammers. This would be the perfect way to kill an afternoon.

Twenty minutes later they had set up a war room in the den, beginning to pull up everything they could on this con artist.

"Oh, I've dealt with this loser before. His schemes are so see-through, how is your dad falling for these?"

"Drake is an excellent hero and he's very smart in very specific areas. But he's not always the sharpest in the business sense."

"Well then he needs someone like us. Let's destroy this fool."

They made short work of it from there, another scheme becoming apparent to Louie as the pair celebrated their victory with popcorn and cans of Pep!

"You knew the others weren't here today, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"You knew I'd only help you if I thought you didn't want my help. I can't believe I fell for that."

"To be fair, I think I was pretty convincing."

Louie drew a business card from his hoodie pocket.

"Louie Inc. is always looking to hire sharp minds like you."

"Maybe we could become friends before we become business partners?" Gosalyn suggested.

"Alright, alright. Do you like Ottoman Empire?"

"I've never seen it."

Louie's eyes widened in surprise and excitement.

"You're going to love it."

[kennyomegasweave]

I started and got caught up on Playboyy. I'm having such a good time with most of this show. Is it the best? Absolutely not. Am I still having a good ass time? Hell yeah. I value entertainment over ~quality~ and I am Very Very Entertained. I'm having a blast with all but two of the couples and really only don't care about 1 dude fully. So that's exciting to me.

These were my thoughts while watching episodes 1-6.

I'm only 20 minutes into the show but why do they want Zouey to get laid so badly? The boy does not seem to be into it and it's really not a good look for them so far. Just let him jerk off. That's not a bad thing y'all.

Dude is Zouey jerking off in class? What is going on here. There's like only three people in this class??? Is this why his friends want him to get laid cause this is like. Bro you can't be so horny you're jerking off in your art class.

NOT GETTING A FOOD DELIVERY NOTIFICATION WHILE TRYING TO GET A NUT. Been there girl, been there. Oh this "pizza man" is fine too. Listen. I've personally never blown my pizza delivery man but, you know, I support this blond one in his journeys.

NOT FIRST TALKING TO HIS DAD WHILE HE'S WATCHING HIS OWN SEX TAPE WITH HIS HOOKUP RIGHT THERE. MY DUDE. AT LEAST MUTE THE VIDEO???

Why is this slightly villainous music playing over this young man's entrance? OH MY SHIT. He really just said "you wouldn't get me being sad about my dead mom cause you don't have one." Is he actually any of their friends cause that is FOUL to say to your friend. Oh well he's the Evil Twin of Nant. Alright. That makes sense. I'm here for that. Explains that foul ass sentence. lol

Oh did he just take one of his rings? Or was that his ring? I'm looking at EVERYONE with suspicion in this show right now. Except First. I don't know why but he doesn't give me shady at all. And possibly Zouey. His reaction to "Nant" was very weird but I appreciate him not being into being touched even though he's horny. Because same.

These Japanese porn voiceovers. Serving hentai realness. I think I can vibe with this. Like it's very much a mood. I'm not sure what mood, but it's a mood.

OH MY GOD. SEE ALL MEN DO IS LIE. I knew Soong stole that ring! And now Zouey's hookup is like "I just wanna fuck a virgin." Oh I hope all these men get dick rot.

-

WIT. I don't know what his name is here but he was Wit on The Sign so it's good to see him! He's cute.

"They didn't build this body to fuck granddads and sluts." That was the greatest line I've ever heard. I want that on my tombstone.

Nont is bombing at this with Zouey and First. Babe you're gonna have to tell them who you are. Cause it's been two days and it's not working. You're not nailing Nant at all and I don't even know Nant.

Zouey it's RICH of you, wealthy even, to tell First he can't have a relationship if it started out with sex. Mr "if sex and love go hand in hand, I'm willing to try." When both of y'all are getting played. The call is coming from inside the house.

Not First fucking Soong on the railing on the stairwell in his daddy's house. My god. We do so love a baby slut.

So does Soong just wanna steal? Cause he's like I'm scamming a rich kid but baby he wants to be your sugar daddy. Don't fuck up that with stealing when he's freely offering it??? That's just dumb.

Is this man serious? After two weeks he's like "first I just wanted his virginity but now I'm starting to like him." ALL MEN DO IS PLAY GAMES.

Yes at the body painting! Giving me J'ai Tue Ma Mère realness except they're not fucking in this scene, but still giving me that same vibe.

Did Jump really get manhandled by Porsche one time and now he's just jerking off at work moaning his name? Baby.

Nont is such a bitch. "This guy looks poor, how could he transfer money to Nant?" I think I love him.

Not Mirror!Nant in Nont's head being like "just pretend to be me, you'll grow to like BDSM too." SIR. But then not two seconds later he's getting spanked and is like "oh okay, you do like this." I guess Mirror!Nant in Nont's head knew him after all.

Not this man just laying down on the bedroom floor, hardwood at that, for the aesthetics of it all. I already love Nont. So much.

Porsche is so so aggressive but you know what? It seems like Jump likes it so I mean? If he likes it, I love it.

First's dad is a doctor and he was roleplaying as a doctor? Oh. That's like several layers of shit that maybe he should go to therapy for. My beautiful little baby.

WHAT. DID MY BABY JUST GET KIDNAPPED BY SOONG.

-

I should have known these freaks (affectionate) would be into CNC. I love it for them.

Soong really is out here resisting being a sugar baby. First wants to give you things, but you're stealing, he wants to extort his dad for money, but you said no. Babe. Babes.

Oh is this dude smelling underwear too? Cause that's what Captain's into right? Well there's a lid for every pot!

Okay. So. I like Soong and First, and the actor playing Soong is really hot but he's either not a good actor or he's really not into First and I don't know which it is. Cause these expressions he has when they're banging aren't giving into it. Or well that's why. He's not into it. Baby is tired from working and then First wants to bone and just wants to apparently chill with First. Aww.

Why did Soong just see Nant??? What the fuck is going on.

Listen. I like Zouey and I guess Nont could be nicer, but if someone doesn't want to talk and you keep pushing and physically get in their space, you earned that hit. Read the room baby.

Okay Zouey you're just an asshole. "I won't say I told you so but I did." Meanwhile your man is also playing you and a sex worker, so most likely hooking up with other dudes too.

I knew Keen and Captain were fucking before that locker room scene! You can't drop a line about a dude liking to smell underwear than have another dude smell the first dude's underwear he took from his locker and not had them banging before. And that was after being like "fill this shot glass with cum" and being like DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. And both those things were in front of people. Keen please.

Is Zouey gonna safe word out? Cause he said stop but didn't safe word. Teena just upset me there. "Just the tip" and "if we're gonna date we have to have sex." He has a point about Zouey not using the safe word, but dude it's his very first time ever. He's not gonna remember safe words. Zouey, I love you and he's right. Teena said they didn't need to have sex to be a couple but now he's like we can't be a couple if we're not having sex. And I get them both here cause Teena clearly likes sex and Zouey clearly doesn't want to have it yet, so that's a big issue in a relationship.

Oh damn. First, you're my baby, but it wasn’t nice to call Soong a leech because, quite frankly, with the exception of stealing your ring, he's not leeching off you. OMG DID HE JUST COME HOME AND THINK FIRST WAS STILL GONNA BE THERE DID HE REALLY THINK THEY JUST HAD A COUPLE FIGHT AND WOULD MAKE UP. Oh my GOD.

OH MY GOD. Captain showed the team the tape with Keen. What a complete asshole move. But also. Babe. Did you really think showing them a clip of Keen fucking a dude, you being the dude, would just make them think it was only him who was gay? You dumb bitch. lol

They DO NOT actually believe Zouey is a girl cause he has a wig on? I cannot. Also. Captain. You have the AUDACITY to text Keen after the stunt you pulled??? If men have nothing, they'll still have the audacity. And Puen I mean, thanks for riding in for Captain's imaginary girlfriend, we love a man who respects women, but you didn't give a shit when he recorded Keen and showed everyone.

Keen and Soong do not want to be jerking each other off. Neither of these men are touching the dicks they actually want to be touching.

"Don't fall in love with a client. But I don't know if I think of him as a client." And then there's Teena just looking devastated too. Both of you went and caught feelings for your marks.

Side note. I'm crying at them working out in their underwear.

Oh my gosh. Soong's face when First texted him. The man is down bad. OH MY GOD. Can this tattooed man shut the fuck up. He doesn't even know this situation. My god. How can you see, someone you call, a friend's face when he got a text from a boy and say all that shit. I don't care how nice your titties are. Just cause you're a bitter jaded hag doesn't mean everyone needs to be.

And now First is crying on Soong's chest and Soong is trying hard not to cry himself and everything is dicks. Hope you're proud of yourself TATTOOED MAN.

BEAT HIS ASS ZOUEY. BEAT. BOTH. OF. THEIR. ASSES. I wish we had seen the fight. Because I personally needed to see Nont get punched in the face. I mean, technically he's just trying to see what happened to his brother. But he still was macking on Zouey's kinda man and like nah. We don't do that. I needed to see that punch.

Captain. You don't need to be here. With your trifling ass selling people's sex tapes and shit. lol

Oh yay. I'm glad Porsche and Jump are still here being nasty. I missed them.

-

I mean, okay. Like. None of what Nant went through is the friends fault though? Asking your friends for 100k is A LOT. Like ethically Captain selling his videos was shitty, but Nant didn't have to make them. And I don't even register Porsche threatening to kick him out for banging his brother cause you don't bang your homie's brother. Like. That's bro code!

And I won't even touch the "they got him addicted to drugs" cause no. No one can do that. You can give people free drugs but they're the ones who initially decided to take them, for whatever reason. And I'm an addict so I'm not judging or anything. Just saying.

Captain is just a whole mess. "Have you never done anything illegal?" Baby most people are not out here committing crimes. lol

I'm sorry it takes me out how so many of these shows ask questions like "are you mixed" and shit. Like. Okay. Now we're getting into some complex ethnic situations I don't know about in countries I’m not from but it just always makes me pause.

LEAVE MY MAN ALONE. He is not responsible for Nant using drugs, Nont. Nant took them himself. You need to accept that. Also, the person in the dog mask was shirtless, right? Can't First tell that wasn't Soong in the video cause his tattoo wasn't there.

Soong wanting to kill Nant for taking all his drugs is the most addict ass behavior ever and I'm sad but here for it cause that rarely gets portrayed. Because yeah, it do be that serious when someone blows your stash.

Nont's trying to find his brother, with the others offering suggestions of various levels of helpful, and First is just crying over Soong. I get it though. I'd cry over that man too.

I appreciate Jump weighing the options of Porsche sending him to jail or continuing to only fuck Porsche and going "fuck it, I'll risk jail." You really bobbled that one Porsche cause he seemed into it at first.

Okay I didn't really care about Nuth and Phop, but with one sex scene and the scene after, they got me. Yes that necklace is Nant's and Nuth probably killed him, but he could have given it to Phop and possibly set him up to be framed and he was like NO instead. So I do think he has feelings for Phop. I just don't think that's gonna go well for Phop in the end.

-

NOT FIGGING GETTING MENTIONED.

What is the status of Captain and Keen's relationship? I don't understand it. It makes no sense. Compels me though.

Like I'm sorry I just don't care about Aob and his storyline. Maybe I will, but so far as he has going for him are his tattoos and dope ass titties and you know what? I have those too so those just aren't enough for me. 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

I also still don't care about Prom and Nont. Like. I love Nont and I love him trying to find his brother, but I just don't think everyone needs to be bae'd up in this show. There's too many cooks in the kitchen okay. There's too many carrots in this stew!

Not First brandishing a knife at all the couples and Soong just walking in like babe put that knife down, you're embarrassing yourself.

Speaking of embarrassing yourself, Keen just embarrassed his whole lineage with that question fully targeted at Captain. I love him.

Nont! You went right to asking about fucking in masks. NOT PROM JUST LOOKING RIGHT AT JUMP FOR THAT ANSWER. See I don't trust Prom and that is why I do not vibe with him and Nont. I don't think he had anything to do with Nant’s disappearance, but I still don't trust him.

Keen is down so bad for Captain and it's very embarrassing. Like. My dude. He doesn't seem to want to claim you. You might just need to let him go baby. It’ll either get you claimed like you want or at least make you free to start the healing process and moving on.

This crack ass idea of playing drinking games to do their investigatory journalism. I cannot.

Why do they keep having Soong and First speaking in English? I love them flexing those bilingual skills but is there a backstory to this? Or are they just like "fuck it, we have two bilingual actors, let's do it."

Aww they're just talking about First. Soong really is into him. It's been six episodes and I'm so messed up over them. 😭😭😭

I mean...it's not gaslighting? Soong has long since stopped thinking of First as a mark. It's not his fault Aob ran his fucking mouth about shit he didn't know anything about.

THANK YOU SOONG for telling Zouey Teena only wanted him cause he was a virgin. Zouey's out here throwing a lot of stones and talking shit like his man also wasn't being shady as hell. I don't think that's gonna go anywhere, but I'm glad it got brought up.

I just realized that they're playing 7 Minutes In Heaven with Porsche and Prom and like, they're brothers? And aren't they the last two to be picked? That’s gonna be awkward. Plus it's not like Porsche can fuck answers out of Prom. Cause that's his brother.

I appreciate that Captain was the one they picked to get the answers out of Keen cause it could have been Nont. But I like to believe that wasn't even considered cause that’s Captain’s man even if he won't fully claim him.

Oh so wait Porsche and Prom aren't actual brothers? They're just under the same sugar daddy? But Prom isn't even fucking their sugar daddy? And is only protected cause he's Porsche's brother? But they're not actual brothers? Then what kind of brothers are they? Just what the fuck is going on here. I am so confused by these two and their relationship. But I am intrigued.

...so Nuth just killed Phop? Oh, no, he didn't. Sis is just CRAZY CRAZY. Oh so he did kill Nant? But he doesn't want to actually kill Phop? He chose to jerk off with a camboy instead of killing Phop. That's gotta count for something? It's progress!

NUTH. Your account is literally your name. Babes. Even if you didn't kill his twin brother, your username is your name. I would say he's not the smartest but he's also just crazy so that probably factors into it. He'e struggling with his grasp on reality right now so that probably explains so much.

Oh Phop. Baby. You gotta get out of there. Phop. He's killed at least one person, most likely. Phop. He fantasized about killing you. Phop. He just jerked off with the twin of the brother he probably killed and put his apartment number in the frame. PHOP.

See. They actually have the best vibes to their sex scenes to me and I just don't see this ending well. At all. And I'm already sad.

[hallow-there]

Hi im terribly sorry! I just really need your help. I’m trying to raise some funds for little Olaf’s needs (my cat) as I brought him to the vet yesterday morning because of a really bad diarrhea and im trying to raise some funds as I cannot afford the estimate the vet gave us. 🥲Please help me share the post I made for him, I have pinned it on my blog. I’m hoping that you’ll consider, and sorry again for bothering you and for being this direct! Take care!

Wait, aren’t you apart of the wave of pet, specifically cat, veterinary bill scams????

And with further inspection, your account looks very suspicious.

Your first reblog was made 2 days ago and immediately after that reblog, you put up your first ad and then proceed to spam reblogs to give off the appearance you didn’t just make your account 2 days ago. Also, that breed of cat looks expensive but I don't feel like bothering my dad over a Tumblr post.

Look, I get it, times are hard and you're only asking for $300 but I don't think guilt-tripping people out of their money is the solution.

If you need help spotting rent, and or utilities, your state may have an emergency rental assistance hotline you can access here.

If you need groceries you look can look for a local food bank you can search on this databse here and USDA nutrition services here. (Some food banks may be able to spot you toothpaste and diapers but everywhere is different)

If you need clothes I suggest garage sales, clearance isles (specifically at Walmart), sometimes dumpster diving can yield surprising results. And to wash those clothes, laundry mats usually require a few bucks or less.

If you can't afford a car, let alone, gas, if it is possible for you, I'd use bikes and become very familiar with public transportation. They're a lot more cost effective.

I personally have a serving center near me that may be able to supply all of these if not more and I highly suggest you look into your area as well. Those places usually have more information than I can provide to you on how you can survive in this system.

I don’t think you’re a bad person, I think a lot of people end up being angry at desperate actions from people who are just trying to survive. What I am is worried for you. Please stay safe and know this isn't the only option. Quick cash is convenient, but ultimately, temporary.

[stuckincoolsville]

7/23/24: what's my name?

i absolutely hate these things. 

intros, blogs; it's all stupid, really. it's not even worth the effort of capitalizing, let alone proper grammar. 

who's gonna read this? who's gonna care about some random weirdo teenager moving to some random weirdo town? in OHIO, of all places. the meme is writing itself and dying as we speak.

but my therapist says this will help me. somehow. he says we don't meet enough, so he has no way of knowing how i'm truly doing or feeling. starting a little blog will, supposedly, help me get my feelings out.

i feel it's just another way for him to keep tabs on me, but whatever.

don't worry, i'm not dumb enough to reveal my actual name. just call me V. 

i recently graduated from a high school in New York. yes, i lived near bodegas. yes, i'd rather attend NYU, or a CUNY, or anywhere else besides Coolsville Community College. yes, i walk wherever and whenever i fucking want. yes, i miss the bagels. and the pizza. and the water.

so, that being said, what am i doing in Coolsville, Ohio? 

moving into the house i inherited from my mom. who i have not seen since i was...twelve? yeah, about twelve. i still have this vague memory of watching her pack up her car with all her stuff. her mouth, pressed closed. how she kept refusing to look at me, at my dad. and then walking back in the rain so she can get in her car and drive out of our lives.

yeah, that's rather grim...but it's also relevant. 

surprisingly, she's not the main reason i'm in therapy at the moment. well, not because she left. children are abandoned by parents all the time. most divorces are the result of a parent walking out on a family. i'm not special because i'm another statistic.

i'm in therapy 'cause of the other thing.

anyway, the relevance of this is that i haven't seen my mom in six years. no one seemed to know where she went. it was like she literally dropped off the face of the earth. and yet, a few months ago, my dad and i got a visit from a lawyer. my mother's lawyer.

he said my mother died of a tragic...accident (spoilers: i don't think it was an accident), and that the ownership of the house she lived in recently transferred to me. a house in Coolsville, OH.

if this was last year, i would have slammed the door closed in the man's face. or had my friend Johnny do a prank call and scam the guy out of his money. or maybe had Marcy

...

i think you get the idea.

but this year...it was like the guy handed me the solution to all my problems on a silver platter. after everything that had happened this year, all i wanted was to disappear. to go to a place where no one knew my name or who i was. 

you'd think that'd be easy in New York, a city of several million people on its own. but when you've gone through what i've gone through, when your picture has been published in enough NYC newspapers or blogs or anything with readership, it becomes difficult to be invisible again. 

i had to argue about it with my dad, but it was weak on his part. i think everything was starting to strain on him too.

so with a few bags packed and a rather emotional goodbye with dad & the few friends i have left, i hopped in my car and headed for Ohio.

took me a little bit to find this place. Coolsville is pretty obscure, even by most small town standards. if you can get past the sense of dread you get from Toledo—with all its emptiness and boarded up houses & buildings—you're already on the right track. 

go past the long highway. head east, towards where the trees gather most. down that long, long road that seems to be an entrance to another realm. towards the faint sound of rushing water flowing from a place you can't see yet. and suddenly, you're there. in a town stuck in time, struggling to embrace modernity as we understand it. a place that is just outside the border of the area considered to be part of Appalachia. 

it's like i walked right into the 1960s...or maybe early '70s. every house is painted in bright colors, the grass never seems to brown; and the flowers are always in bloom. and all the people seemed to dress like they go thrifting on the regular, their clothes are so...retro? vintage? any of those words work? and they always seem to have a smile on their faces. typical welcoming committee, wholesome small town edition, i suppose.

i was a bit wary at first. still am. but it's been a couple weeks since i moved in. no one's asked the questions i've expected yet. no mob is calling for my blasphemous head. everything and everyone i speak to actually exists, which is a relief. so things are okay. 

for now.

no idea what the future holds, but i recently registered for classes at the community college here. it's much more affordable than the schools in NY, even for a newcomer like me. (guess enrollment must be pretty low over here.) no friends, but the few neighbors i've met seem friendly. there seem to still be teens my age over here, so that gives me some comfort. the house my mome left me is already paid for and has all the furniture and appliances i need. i just need to pay for utilities and maintain the house.

that's why i got the job at the bookstore. it's pretty cool, run by this weird old lady who likes to cackle and rant about the new age occult scene. says my generation doesn't know how to properly communicate with the Old Ones, and that will lead to our ultimate downfall. 

things like that. 

she has a lot of weird takes, now that i think about it, but i'm not gonna argue logic and reason with the crazy lady signing my paychecks.

not much else to say at the moment. i mean, there's more but. this was just supposed to be an intro. i don't wanna vomit out everything in my head. not yet. 

(Dr. Dimaggio, if you're seeing this, you already know. so there's really no point anyway.)

so i guess i'll be signing off. i'll update this when something happens or if there's something i wanna get off my chest.

later.

signed,

V.D.