#my dad was like “I think you're being scammed” and I was like no you just have no idea how overdue my car is for literally so many things.

[vmlnrzmp4]

hii I saw that ur requests were open so I scrambled for an idea lol

I wanna request for blue lock dad's helping their daughters with math homework. Most of them don't do well in academics so I think it'd be goofy 😋😋

such a cute idea!

itoshi sae

"this is wrong," sae would say as he looks at the numbers accompanied with alphabets. "i know papa! that's why i hate maths!" natsuki says as the both of them glare at the math problem in the text book. he sighs, flipping the page to see the answers behind. "sae," you call sternly, "you're supposed to help her," "i am helping her. we just need to figure out how this dumb book found the answer," he clicks his tongue, "they didn't mention any steps," there were only straight up answers, "natsuki," he calls, "forget this. play piano and make money with that." "papa!" "sae!"

itoshi rin

rin was growing tired looking at the math problem for the past 10 minutes give or take. "papa, why does math hate me so much?" he clicks his tongue, "it's easy, just—" another 10 minutes of legit glaring and aggressively trying to solve the problem later, rin shuts the book close. and sakura, too tired, leans back on the couch, mentally exhausted. "you know what, papa? i give up," she says and rin didn't seem to mind till she continues— "i'll just marry a rich guy—" "no." he reopens the book, "you're finishing this worksheet now."

isagi yoichi

we all know yuki is a math genius. she doesn't need help but yoichi being the best papa accompanies her anyways. "what's today's challenge, kiddo?" yuki goes on explaining him theorems, formulas, proofs, variables and what not—all just to find a simple value of the worst enemy: x. "you know yuki," yoichi rubs his temple, "i was bad at math and science back in my days. seeing you solve all this by yourself...im proud of you yuki," yuki smiles,her heart warming up at her papa's words, "still. math sounds like a scam to me." "why are you like this papa?" he chuckles and shrugs, "dunno. but you know im your biggest supporter right?" "ofcourse ofcourse~" isagi yoichi: math cheerleader, not a solver, yuki's #1 fan.

michael kaiser

"just draw a flower over it. the teacher might give you marks for presentation." "papa!" "joking princess." he ruffles anne's hair. "let's figure this out together." seconds and minutes pass. and still both dad-daughter were trying their best to solve the stupid equation. sighing, he takes out his phone, "papa that's cheating!" he chuckles, shaking his head, "it's called working smarter princess." and even after watching youtube study oneshots and a lot of googling, they still couldn't understand. "how about we call your teacher and ask why she's torturing kids?"

taglist: @anuverse @luciddre @kongkhoi @illyriakrasniqi2007 @passw-0-rd @x3nafix @levihanmyotp @vellichorira @sapph1r3x @tamashithe2nd @p1z-d0n7jud6em3 [open]

[neverendingford]

.

[daeniradraconis]

My Emergency Contact – William Nylander

Just a little short Valentine’s Day fluff—because nothing says romance like realizing your boyfriend is absolutely not qualified to be your emergency contact. (Yes, inspired by the TikTok trend!) BTW, this pic is literally my favourite of Willy. Like, sir—how are you this hot and this cute at the same time?! ---

Moving in together was supposed to be romantic. Cozy. A new chapter in your relationship.

Instead, you’re sitting on the couch in your new apartment, watching your shirtless boyfriend, William Nylander, struggle for his life against an IKEA bookshelf.

The shirtless part isn’t unusual. If anything, it’s his default state. The man has never met a fabric he liked.

And honestly? You’re not complaining.

His blond hair is tousled from running his hands through it in frustration, his cheeky grin flickering in and out as he mutters to himself in Swedish, clearly losing patience. His mustache and beard are in full force—an off-season indulgence, just like the sheer amount of cake he’s been consuming lately.

And it shows.

Willy is always strong, always an athlete, but off-season Willy? He’s soft. He still has muscle, but instead of his usual sculpted abs, there’s the faintest hint of a tummy, a little dad bod moment that somehow makes him look even hotter.

Unfortunately, all that raw, Swedish power is currently being humiliated by a simple bookshelf.

“IKEA is a scam,” Will mutters, glaring at the half-built monstrosity. “They make the instructions impossible on purpose.”

“You’re Swedish,” you remind him, sipping your coffee. “This should be, like, in your DNA.”

“Yeah, well, my ancestors built actual ships, not this bullshit.”

He picks up the hex key like it personally insulted his mother, then frowns down at the two pieces of wood he’s supposed to connect. His brows furrow, lips pressing together in deep concentration, and for a fleeting moment, you think—maybe—he’s finally figured it out.

But no. No, he has not.

With way too much confidence, he tightens one screw, nods to himself like a man who knows what he's doing, and then leans his full weight on the side panel—only for it to give out instantly, betraying him in the most dramatic fashion possible.

The entire bookshelf wobbles violently before crashing down in slow motion.

And so does Will.

You watch in horror as your six-foot, professional athlete boyfriend completely loses the battle. He stumbles backward, knocks into a chair, flails to catch himself—too late. His knee buckles, and before you can react, he fully wipes out.

A loud thud. A groan. Silence.

For a split second, your heart stops. You freeze, eyes wide, a sharp pang of panic in your chest. He’s completely motionless, just lying there, staring at the ceiling.

“Will?” you ask, rushing over, hovering a hand over his arm, not sure whether to touch him or call 911.

No response.

Then—he bursts out laughing.

Flat on his back, bare chest rising and falling with laughter, stomach shaking, cheeks flushed—he looks absurdly proud of himself. And you can’t help but laugh too—though only after you're sure he’s not actually injured.

And then it hits you. This man is your emergency contact.

The realization hits you slowly. This is the guy responsible for calling an ambulance if something happens to you. This one.

The same man who once set off the fire alarm trying to “improvise” a grilled cheese with a blowtorch because he thought it would be “faster.”

The same man who got his shoelace caught in an escalator last summer and had to be rescued by a mall employee.

The same man who confidently insisted he could fix a leaky faucet in your old apartment, only to somehow make it worse—so much worse—that you had to call an actual plumber, who took one look at the situation and just muttered, Jesus Christ.

You blink down at Will, still sprawled on the floor, grinning like an idiot, and a strange mix of affection, disbelief, and sheer terror floods through you.

You sigh, shaking your head. “I can’t believe you are my emergency contact.”

You look at him, grinning up from the floor like he just won a prize, and a mix of affection, disbelief, and helpless laughter washes over you.

Will, still sprawled out, turns his head to smirk at you. “Baby. I got you.”

“You just lost a fight to plywood.”

“It was a close fight.”

“In your dreams.”

He just shrugs, completely unbothered, propping himself up on one elbow. “Eh. I’m strong. I can take it.”

You stare at him, still processing the absolute chaos of it all. The lack of concern.

Will sees your expression and smirks, sitting up fully. “You’re thinking about it, huh?”

“I’m regretting it.”

He gasps, pressing a hand to his chest like you’ve just wounded him. “Wow. That’s ruthless.”

“Honest.”

Will squints, then rubs the back of his head. “Maybe. But too late, baby. We live together now. No take-backs.”

You roll your eyes, standing up to help his dumb ass off the floor. He lets you pull him to his feet, then immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest.

“Will—”

“Shhh,” he says, resting his chin on top of your head. “Let me hold you. I almost died, älskling.”

You snort. “You did not.”

He squeezes you tighter, grinning against your hair. “You were so worried about me.”

You groan, but his arms feel nice, and he smells like cedarwood and the vanilla latte he stole from you earlier. Despite everything—despite his complete incompetence at building furniture or being careful at all—you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You sigh into his chest. “Yeah. You are sometimes actually terrifying. You clumsy idiot.”

Willy laughs, pressing a lazy kiss to your forehead.

“Terrifyingly sexy, you mean.”

Well, he’s not wrong.

[yoyomomiko]

[ONE] — Ghosts = $$$

☆ `` SPECTRAL SCAMMERS ``

☆ — summary: when cartman comes up with yet another 'get rich quick' scheme, he forces his friends, and you, into starting a ghost hunting service. armed with a mix of makeshift equipment, a questionable van and no actual skills, you begin taking jobs to "exorcise" haunted houses.

warnings: strong language, cartman being cartman.

(a/n): first chapter is out and honestly I don't really know where this is going!! also, I'm extremely sorry for the short length of this chapter :< --- usually, first chapters are always shorter! i'll try my best to make the other chapters longer :)

wc: 1932

★ m.list

★ series m.list

[NEXT] ->

The cafeteria was a chaotic mess as always. Muffled chatter, students fighting, and the occasional shout from the lunch staff scolding some kid for trying to sneak an extra carton of milk. You sat at the usual table in the far corner, picking at your food. Across from you, Stan and Kyle were arguing about some documentary they watched in History, while Clyde was halfway through his second slice of pizza.

"Alright, assholes, listen up!" Cartman's voice cut through the arguing boys. He slammed his tray onto the table for everyone's attention, the loud sound making Tweek flinch so hard he almost spilled his coffee.

"Oh, great, what now?" Stan groaned, leaning back in his chair.

"You're gonna thank me later, Stan." Cartman cleared his throat, glancing at everyone sitting at the table. "Because I just came up with the best idea of my life. No, of your lives, too, because you're all gonna be a part of it."

Kyle raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Let me guess, some new way to scam people out of their money?"

"Yeah, Kyle, because having ambition is such a crime." Cartman shot back, rolling his eyes dramatically. "But no, this isn't just a scam. It's a business opportunity. A gold mine. And all you losers have to do is stop being such whiny little bitches and listen to me for five seconds."

"Dude, just get to the point." Stan muttered, his hands resting on top of the table as his brows furrowed together.

Cartman smirked, leaning forward on the table as if he was about to deliver a secret. "Ghost hunting."

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the distant crash of a tray hitting the floor somewhere across the cafeteria.

"Ghost hunting?" Clyde repeated with a mouthful of pizza.

"Yes, Clyde, try to keep up." Cartman snapped. "Think about it. Those dumbass ghost hunting shows on TV. People eat that crap up! We can charge idiots in this town hundreds of dollars to 'investigate' their haunted houses and get rid of their spooky little Casper problems!"

Kyle shook his head with a sigh. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Even for you, Cartman."

"It's not stupid!" Cartman shot back, slamming his fist on the table hard enough to make Tweek jump again.

"People are stupid, Kyle. They'll pay us to run around their creepy old houses with flashlights, pretending to find ghosts! And if there's no ghost? We'll just make one! Bang on some walls, throw some stuff around... Boom, paranormal activity."

"That's literally fraud." You pointed out, resting your chin on your hand. "You realize that, right?"

Cartman waved you off as if you mentioned something as unimportant as the weather. "Pfft, no one's gonna care. We'll make them sign waivers. Legal waivers make everything legit!"

Stan exchanged a doubtful look with you, then glanced back at Cartman. "This sounds like the kind of thing that gets us arrested. Or worse, sued."

"Oh my God, you guys are so dramatic." Cartman groaned, throwing his hands in the air. "Look, do you want to spend the rest of high school broke and boring, or do you wanna be rich and badass?"

"Rich and badass does sound kinda nice..." Clyde admitted, earning a glare from Kyle.

"Clyde, seriously?"

"What? I need the money! My dad cut my allowance because I spent it all on skins in Fortnite."

"I can't believe I'm surrounded by morons." Kyle buried his face in his hands.

"Ghosts aren't even real!" Tweek blurted, his hands shaking as he gripped his cup. "What if we mess with something we don't understand? What if we summon a demon or-"

"Tweek, for the love of God." Craig interrupted, his voice flat and bored. "You're not summoning anything. It's fake."

Tweek's eyes darted to Craig, then back to Cartman. "B-But even if it's fake, what if- what if people find out?! What if we get exposed or something?!"

"Tweek, no one cares about your paranoia." Cartman rolled his eyes. "Besides, it's not like we're actually gonna run into any ghosts. We're just taking money from idiots who think their houses are haunted because their furniture makes weird noise."

"I dunno, dude." Kenny finally spoke up, voice muffled by his hood. "What's the cut? Like, how much are we each getting?"

"Ah! The voice of reason! Don't worry Kenny. We'll split it... Fairly."

"Fairly?" Kyle immediately narrowed his eyes. "That means you're going to take the biggest cut, doesn't it?"

"Uh, duh, because it's my idea." Cartman shot back. "But you'll still get plenty. Enough to buy whatever poor people stuff you need, Kenny."

"Works for me, I'm in." Kenny shrugged.

"Dude!" Kyle exclaimed, looking betrayed.

"What? I need money!"

You sighed, glancing around the table. "So let me get this straight." You started, mentally preparing yourself. "You want us to break into random people's houses, pretend to find ghosts, and charge them a fortune for it? Do you even have a plan for how this is supposed to work?"

"Of course I have a plan!" Cartman replied, puffing out his chest. "Step one, we make a website and some fake business cards. Step two, we spread the word around town. Step three, profit."

"That's not a plan." Stan muttered, leaning back in his chair again.

"It's a great plan." Cartman's brows furrowed together. "And you know what? If you don't want in, fine. But when I'm rolling in cash and you're stuck eating this nasty ass lunch food, don't come crying to me."

Stan groaned, rubbing his temples. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but fine. I'm in. Only to make sure you don't burn someone's house down."

Kyle threw his hands up with a groan and a roll of his eyes. "Oh my God. You're all insane."

"Come on, Kyle." You smirked, nudging him with your elbow. "It could be... Interesting."

Kyle stared at you as if you just suggested jumping off a bridge. But after a moment, he sighed heavily. "Fine. But if this ends in a disaster, I'm blaming all of you."

"Perfect!" Cartman grinned, looking around at his newly recruited 'team'.

"Welcome to the South Park Paranormal Crew, bitches. First job is tomorrow night. Bring flashlights and maybe some fake blood."

Craig glared at Cartman. "Tweek and I never said we were joining."

"I don't care about you losers, go sit on a dick or something." Cartman shot back.

Craig's eyes narrowed, his piercing gaze burning holes through Cartman. "You know what? I'm in, fatass." He spoke through gritted teeth, to which Cartman smirked.

"I-I guess I'm in too." Tweek stammered, his hands shaking uncontrollably.

"Amazing! What do you guys say we have a meeting at my house this night to prepare for tomorrow?" Cartman held a smug and confident look.

"Do we have a choice?" You sighed, already tired of this.

"No. Eight o'clock sharp!" He declared. "Don't forget that, fuckers!"

.

.

.

.

Later that night, the group crowded into Cartman's basement. The space was a mess, an old couch shoved against one wall, half empty soda cans all over a coffee table, and a mysterious stain on the carpet that no one wanted to investigate. You sat quietly between Kyle and Craig, who were both visibly annoyed.

Cartman stood at the front, a whiteboard behind him covered in messy scrambles of ideas that looked more like the ramblings of a lunatic than a business plan. He held a marker in his hands, which he twirled dramatically before slamming it against the board.

"Alright, assholes." He began, pacing in front of the group. "Step one of becoming the greatest ghost hunters South Park has ever seen: branding. We need a website, a killer name and a look that screams 'these guys are legit'."

Stan rolled his eyes from his spot on the couch. "It's hard to scream 'legit' when you're using your mom's basement as headquarters."

"Shut up, Stan!" Cartman snapped. "Do you have a basement we can use? No? Then sit your ass down and let the professionals handle this."

Craig crossed his arms, leaning a bit closer to you, his knee brushing yours. "You don't even know how to make a website, do you?"

"Of course I do!" Cartman lied, puffing out his chest. "It's easy. You just... Click some buttons and stuff. Besides, we have Kyle for that."

Kyle straightened, glaring at Cartman. "Excuse me? Since when did I agree to be your tech support?"

"Since you're the only one here who isn't a complete moron when it comes to computers!" Cartman replied, his tone annoyingly smug.

"Watch it fatass!" Stan snapped as Craig snickered.

Kyle opened his mouth to argue but stopped when you nudged him gently. "You might as well just do it." You whispered. "The sooner we get this over with, the better."

Kyle sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Fine, but I'm not doing this for free."

"Whatever, Jew." Cartman turned back to the whiteboard. "Now, let's talk names. We need something catchy. Something cool."

"How about we call ourselves 'Paranormal Posers'?" Craig deadpanned, earning a laugh from Kenny.

"I've got it!" Clyde exclaimed, clearly excited. "What about 'The Phantom Chasers'?"

"Lame." Cartman dismissed immediately, crossing it off the list. "We need something badass like 'South Park Paranormal Commandos'."

"Or we could just call it what it is." Stan muttered. "'Cartman's Latest Scam'."

"Do you want to get sued, Stan?" Cartman shot back. "No one's putting my name on this thing."

After another twenty minutes of ridiculous suggestions, and several rounds of arguing, you all finally settled on a name. Specter Squad.

"Simple, memorable, and cool as hell." Cartman declared, underlining it three times on the board.

.

.

While Cartman and the others brainstormed more ways to make themselves seem legit, Kyle sat at Cartman's ancient desktop computer, typing at it furiously.

The homepage was basic but effective.

A bold header reading "SPECTER SQUAD: South Park's Premier Ghost Hunting Team" in glowing green text, complete with a stock image of a haunted house in the background.

"This looks so fake." Kyle muttered to himself, shaking his head as he uploaded a photo of the group. It was a hurriedly taken selfie from earlier that night, with Cartman front and center, beaming like an idiot, while everyone else looked irritated.

"Fake is fine." Cartman said, leaning over Kyle's shoulder. "People don't care about professional. They care about scary. Make it spooky."

"Spooky costs extra." Kyle shot back.

The rest of the group gathered around as Kyle added more details to the site.

Services

- Full Paranormal Investigation

- Ghost Removal

- Cleansing Rituals

Reviews

Janet H. - "Specter Squad saved my family from a scary ghost! Worth every penny!"

Sal F. - "I thought my apartment was haunted and they proved me right. Highly recommend!"

"Who t-the hell is 'Janet H.'?" Tweek asked, pointing to one of the reviews.

"Some lady I made up." Cartman replied, completely unfazed.

.

.

With the website finished, you all moved on to advertising. Clyde and Kenny volunteered to print out flyers, which they plastered all over the school the next day. On lockers, bulletin boards, and even the bathroom stalls.

Cartman, meanwhile, moved to social media, creating an Instagram page and spamming hashtags like #HauntedSouthPark and #GhostBeware.

"You think anyone's actually going to believe this?" Craig asked as everyone watched Cartman upload a blurry photos of an attic claiming it was 'evidence' from a recent investigation.

"Of course they will." Cartman replied confidently. "People are dumb. Trust me, by this time tomorrow we'll have our first client."

★yoyomiko ★miko

[https-milo]

the baker's daughter - 400 cupcakes

WORK SYNOPSIS Y/n L/n works at a small bakery owned by her parents. One day, a pro hero in training shows up asking for 400 cupcakes.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Chapter 1 - 400 Cupcakes

masterlist / next chapter

The bell above the door rang, alerting me someone was entering the bakery. "Hello! Good afternoon, how may I help you?" I ask. The man who entered had split hair, one side was white and the other was red. His eyes were different too. On his right he had a dark grey eye, and on his left was an ice blue. The left side of his face was scarred around his eye and down his cheek. Another thing I notice is his U.A. uniform. I quirk an eyebrow at this, knowing the uniform was always a sure sign of a quirk-user.

"Good afternoon. I have a question, it's very sudden," the boy said.

"Shoot!" I said with a smile. The boy tilts his head, not getting my words. "Oh uh, ask away..?" The boy nods.

"How fast can you make 400 cupcakes?"

I choke on my spit, "S-sorry?"

"400 cupcakes, how much and how long?"

"I uh, would have to ask my parents," I answer. "They should be in the back, I'll go get them."

The boy nods and I leave the cash register to the kitchen where my mom is baking and my dad decorating pastries. I knock on the wooden doorframe before entering. "There's a boy up front asking for 400 cupcakes," I explain.

"Sweetie, what did we say about believing scams?" Mom sighed.

"Hey! That was one time!" I pout. "But I think this one is serious, he's wearing a U.A. uniform. You know how the people from that school are."

"Quirk havers? Probably thought he was being kind going to a quirkless business," Dad grumbled. Mom looked at him with empathy. The three of us were judged harshly for our lack of quirks, we weren't 'ideal' in the current society. That angered my father.

"I'll go see what he wants, you stay here, F/N," Mom sweetly said. She rubbed his shoulder soothingly and walked out of the kitchen with me.

"Hi, my daughter tells me you're interested in 400 cupcakes?" My mom greeted him.

"Yes, that's correct. How much would that be and how long would that take?" The boy replied.

"Well, it'll run you almost 82 thousand yen..." Mom hesitantly said, knowing the price would scare most people off.

"Doesn't matter. I just need them in time for the U.A. School Festival," The boy said.

"Oh so you're rich-rich," I mumble to myself. The boy must've heard as he looked at me confused. My mom lightly hit my arm. I roll my eyes playfully.

"Well... that's two weeks away. We should have enough time!" Mom answered. "We do a half payment upfront and you pay us the rest once you collect the cupcakes."

"I can pay it all at once, it's no trouble," the boy said. He pulled out a black credit card. I looked at my mom and she shared my same thought "money, money, money".

"Right, that'll be... 81,700 yen," my mom said. She entered the price in the register and turned the card reader to face the customer.

Silently, he put the card in and used the PIN number. The satisfying ding of the payment going through made the workers at the shop elated. "Right! Thank you. If you could leave your name and number, my daughter will contact you for information regarding what you want." Mom explained. She offered over a pen and a notepad.

"Sure," the boy said. He grabbed the pen and paper and wrote his information on it.

"Thank you again... Todoroki," Mom said, her eyes widened when she read his last name. He nodded and walked out. Mom turned to face me, she had a mischievous smile on her face. I knew what she was up to.

"My daughter will contact you," I mocked. "REALLY MOM?!" My face flushed with color as I covered my face in embarrassment.

"Just trying to set my baby up!" Mom teased. "But you really should message him, we kind of need to know what to make."

"I can't believe he paid up front like that..." I said amazed.

"Right?! Didn't ask for proof or previous works... paid just like that."

"Why'd you look surprised at his name?"

"Todoroki is the last name of the number 1 pro hero."

"All.. Might..?" I was never really caught up on heroes. The prospect never interested me. Being a hero was a dream I could never chase. All because of the extra joint in my pinky toe.

"No. All Might retired. Endeavor!"

"Oh cool," I reply. Mom rolls her eyes. I stick out my tongue and pull out my phone. I put Todoroki's number from the paper into my contacts.

I showed Mom the messages. "Music-related, huh?" "I think it's kinda cool," I defended. She hummmed. "I'll work something up with your dad. Why don't you head upstairs?" She offered. "I can help you know!" I groan. "I know you can. But you also have a bunch of homework," Mom countered. "What's the point? I mean, I'm probably just going to end up working here for the rest of my life." "I don't want that for you, hun. This was mine and your father's dream, it doesn't have to be yours too." I sigh, "Fine. Goodnight, Mom. I love you." "I love you too."

I walk upstairs to the living area my parents and I reside. I open my bedroom door and flop onto my bed. I didn't bother doing my homework, instead I just stared at the ceiling. I thought back to the customer. He wasn't bad-looking at all. I hope I get to see him again. Well I mean I will, but maybe (and hopefully) not in the context of buying cupcakes at my parents' bakery.

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

Thank you so much for reading <3

[smytherines]

Fuck it, here's an Agent Mega dissertation

Alright since I have such elaborate headcanon for my beloved precious Owen Carvour, I guess I should do it for Agent Curt Mega too. Sigh.

So, going off of the last big one, if Owen is born in 1928, then I'm gonna say Curt was born in 1930. I'm forever won to the Texan agent mega headcanon, but I think it's safe to say that Mrs. Mega is not from Texas, probably more like New York or I've seen people say New Jersey.

We know nothing about Agent Mega's dad, but I imagine he was kind of a loser and low level con artist and moved his pregnant wife down to Texas to do scams around the bustling oil industry, and then soon after Curt was born a scam collapsed and he ran off. It's either that or an Aladdin 3 situation where he was secretly a spy the whole time and had to go into hiding.

So we've got mama Mega, raising a VERY hyperactive (read: ADHD) little boy on her own, in a place where she doesn't have any support, and he just becomes her entire world. But she has to work a lot, so Curt becomes used to taking care of himself, and most importantly- keeping himself busy so he doesn't lose it.

In this headcanon Curt would only be 15 when WWII ends- not old enough to fight, but definitely old enough to have personally known a lot of kids from his hometown who come home in caskets. I just truly think of WWII as a formative experience for both these guys. For Curt it just feeds into that inferiority complex.

Now anybody who has ADHD knows that you already spend a lot of your life feeling inadequate, feeling self-conscious about not being able to be the person other people want you to be (*especially* if you're queer). You get defensive, especially when criticized. You also get restless.

I headcanon Curt as growing up in Abilene, Texas, mostly because I have a friend who grew up there and I've visited and the vibe is right.

I don't know if anybody has ever seen The Last Picture Show, but its a film set in small town Texas in 1951-1952 (so a little late for our timeline but still) and it's (more or less) about two high school seniors essentially trying to escape this suffocatingly small, dying town before they become doomed to spend their lives trapped there.

That's definitely what I think about Agent Mega too- this gay, ADHD teenage boy climbing the walls of this little town, never being able to fully be himself. But he's got a lot of energy (and more than a little anger) to burn off, so he does sports. It's Texas, so football for sure. Maybe wrestling too. Perhaps wrestling is even where he has his gay come to jesus moment.

And when he isn't doing sports, he's home, alone (mama Mega is working so hard), out back drinking a beer (or two, or three) and teaching himself how to shoot. I think he becomes hyperfixated on becoming an expert marksman, because with all of this shit he cannot control, all the stuff he is supposed to be but isn't, this is one area where it feels like he has the power here.

What starts off as "kid drinking beer to feel cool and rebellious" starts to morph into a lifetime dependence on alcohol. Substance use is a big issue for a lot of ADHDers for the same reason I think it would be for Curt- it calms him down. It eases that constant restlessness in his bones. It softens the edges of other people's criticisms of him. It makes him care a bit less what others think about him.

In a vicious cycle, he drinks to avoid feeling those big feelings (especially as a man, especially as a gay man, especially as a gay man in Texas), but the drinking leads to more criticism, which leads to more drinking to numb the emotional response to that criticism.

But his hyperfixation on learning to shoot pays off. Let's say he becomes a junior state champion trapshooter (did I look up trapshooting competitions from the 1940s? yes I did). He's good, especially when he hits the sweet spot of drinking just enough to calm his ass down but not so much that he's useless. Maybe this is how he comes to the attention of the A.S.S.

And he fully believes that these skills he cultivated, the ability to hit hard and run fast and shoot accurately, his ability to escape when it doesn't feel remotely possible, is why many years later he just kinda rolls his eyes at Owen for insisting that they do things carefully and methodically. Careful didn't get him out of small town Texas. Careful didn't get him the exciting non-stop life he has now, a life where he *almost* gets to be himself a lot of the time.

When Owen "dies," and its Curt's fault, he naturally turns to drinking to numb that pain. But its a lot of pain, so it takes a lot of alcohol to kill it.

I'm sure I could go on, but as always I have rambled a lot here so I'm just gonna leave it.

[monstrous-femme]

or if smut's not your thing? What about this soulmate AU I wrote like 3 paragraphs of two years ago about Nancy and Steve being comphet soulmates and then Nancy realizes soulmates are a government scam?

Nancy’s seen her mother’s soulmark, seen the words Ted Wheeler printed on her like a brand. She watches her parents at dinner in the evenings, the minor rise and fall of her mother’s face. It’s supposed to be the best thing in the world, some sort of almost magic, like it’s your birthday every single day. But her mother, most nights, looks little more than resigned to her fate. * In the shower, Nancy scrubs at her wrist until it’s raw, but the words don’t fade even the smallest bit. She thinks, accidents, she thinks, things that look like accidents. There’s a running list that she keeps beneath her pillow, tallying all the household items sharp enough to tear off skin: the kitchen knives, her dad’s razor blades, the sewing shears if she can just find the right angle to hold them at. * Steve Harrington is a nice guy. She sees him in the halls sometimes, next to a girl with sandy hair and button-down vests. It’s the girl who she’s spent the most time looking at. The way her gaze can go from sharp in seconds, how interesting she looks both ways. Her hair is fluffy some mornings, like she’s slept on it without brushing it later. Nancy imagines running her hands through it. She thinks it’d be soft, and maybe it’s okay that Steve’s her soulmate if it means she’ll get to meet this girl.

[hypnotist voice]: you wanna know how this ends. you wanna know how this ends so bad that you're gonna go to my page on @fandomtrumpshate to bid on a custom fic with this premise, or another premise of your interest.

[quietbluejay]

The Buried Dagger Take 2 #1

Anyways, in doing this I have completely left any objectivity behind at the station. If you're a Garro fan, you're probably not going to enjoy me complaining about him every time he shows up. If you're a Mortarion hater, you're not going to enjoy the simping. If you're a Swallow fan...well I do have a few nice things to say about his writing, but I also have a few harsh things, and some things that are probably unfair! Swallow's writing can be really hit or miss for me, even within the same book.

now on with the show!

man I remember the first time I read the sample, my entire reaction was basically "okay, edgelord" "of COURSE his name is Mortarion" "of COURSE he's mad at his dad" little did I know he would become blorbo

but observe the first paragraphs:

the people of Ynyx don't have mouths! honestly i think one of the book's flaws is that it goes a bit too far into edge and ends up in the silly zone

I'm waking up/I feel it in my bones

blah blah everyone took drugs but it doesn't matter, they're all gonna be dead by nightfall the prose is kind of dancing on the line between purple and evocative

so we're on page 4 and we know a few things about mort: -sir kills a lot -edgy -hates his dad -cares about the Death Guard

lol lmao you know what you thought the perturabo playlist was cringe? the mortarion one is gonna be even cringier

he's breathing in the chemicals i know i made this joke the first time i read it, i don't care, i'll make it again he's so cringe (affectionate) Mortarion looks at the faces of the puny mortals, looking for understanding

dumbass also, heh so he just shoots them all with his fancy energy pistol "Why did Horus send me here?" Mortarion breathes in the chemicals again the tldr is this planet is basically useless strategically or in terms of what they can loot and sending Mort and the Death Guard was a huge amount of overkill

after having actually seen them being buddies in Vengeful Spirit and The Path of Heaven, this is kinda sad little does mortarion know he can't even trust himself it gets a bit into his daemon research he haaates it but the reasoning is that you can't afford to not be pragmatic on Barbarus let's put a pin in this there's a scene I'm thinking of that happens fairly late in the book that'll be interesting to look at

also, Magnus gets described as an "arrogant braggart" my salt is being fed

you could just say "chill", Swallow it's okay doesn't "the chill hand of the immaterium" sound much better? wait i missed a chance to make a joke about the horrors every day Mortarion gets emails

LoreLover:

which Chaos god would give the worst spam e-mails? Tzeentch: Constant phishing attacks and scams. Slaanesh: Shock videos, plastic surgery, extreme fashion adds Nurgle: Nothing but viruses and worms to corrupt your data Khorne: Physically cutting your cables because get outside and fight me panzy.

on the topic of the horrors, Mortarion thinks about possessed!Grulgor who is chilling in a cage right now poor Grulgor also yeah how'd he end up here i really hope it explains in a short story somewhere because what happened in Vengeful Spirit was VERY confusing in vengeful spirit mortarion was like "here have some geneseed" like he was feeding pigeons and plague daemon grulgor showed up Grulgor: let me kill for you, Mortarion Grulgor: please ask me to kill for you Mortarion:….

Mortarion doesn't let Grulgor do it, because a) that would be too easy b) he's worried it's a trap by Chaos

juuuust like dear old dad oh hey ends justify the means take a shot

im back on my anti-consequentialism bullshit again~

LoreLover: Oh, please Mortarion. You guys used goddamn man-reapers instead of normal swords and spears. You lost the pragmatism argument ages ago.

quietbluejay: don't you see, he has to do it it makes things so much easier~ genuinely, why do i like this guy again oh right McNeill tried to make me hate him also he's so dramatic

fight time it doesn't take long though but, how are they gonna get inside the building

it was kind of cool the ground is sand and the dudes were hiding underground so it's like - when you guys were kids, if you walked down those stairs that don't have backs, did you ever have your parents or someone grab your ankles through them? it's like that except it's not stairs sorry i don't know if that made any sense

HES BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS

i made this joke last time, but I think Swallow's Imagine Dragons CD has a scratch in it also wait how many times has he been described as pallid so far or gaunt

anyways the grenade breaks open the wall of the citadel

Morarg POV! he's picking off any survivors that Mortarion leaves which is like, not that many people lol

a lot of the time there isn't much to do for Morarg but stand and watch sorry "act as witness to the unchained maelstrom that was Mortarion's cold wrath" Morarg is cool with that

there's a bit about all the 7s because it's a lucky number "now seen as a simple tactical nicety"

so in addition to being Mortarion's equerry, Morarg is also the closest thing the Death Guard have to a lorekeeper gene-modified guardians show up and Mortarion kills those two as well owo while Morarg is watching Mortarion kill things, he gets an alert on his phone er, his helmet

so they get to the boss room and it's triggering for Mortarion because it reminds him of the throne room on Terra

yes the final boss is a brain in a jar

welp rip two of the deathshroud get blasted into the magma lake Mortarion: I taste witchery no, literally, he calls it witchery, and he tastes it

geez, calas, don't you know he's got a thing about killstealing? anyways mort squishes the brain Mortarion: you chose this moment to show your face again so dramatic

as much as i'm kinda mocking the edge, it's got a kind of charm to it, you know?

but now it's time for Mort and Typhon to catch up

typhon starting to talk like a daemon lmao the orders are from horus, it's time to attack terra! but first, an actual discussion

but not yet it was too soon "The embrace would come when due. Nothing would stop that from happening" Mortarion is going to get hugged whether he wants to or not!

TemplarWarden: Man really pulling on that 'I don't like you but I kinda like you' brotherly vibe. LoreLover: Tsundere Mortarion

Typhon thinks about how Mortarion bound daemon!Grulgor which is apparently a feat of some skill also heh "satiate his desire for knowledge" whoooo does that sound like

LoreLover then posted a TTS!Magnus meme

I'm going to tldr a silly discussion about 30k characters as FSN characters except to leave you with

Perturabo is like the unholy lovechild of Sola-Ui and Kirei

Typhon has some Sakura similarities (childhood friend. dark secret. starts eating people)

Typhon, you've officially moved into the "creepy" zone

uh oh… the diamonds are a surprise tool that will harm us later

meanwhile, Typhon isn't sure what sort of reaction Mortarion wants him to show about Barbarus being killed by the Dark Angels

TemplarWarden: That's less a foreshadowing or Chekovs gun and more a foresolar eclipse or Chekovs ICBM

Typhon thinks that he would have been among the ones who were angry before, but not any more, not after Zaramund where he found clarity

TemplarWarden: this man has so much edge I'm getting papercuts from it quietbluejay: wait til we get to his childhood

Typhon: anyways we can get vengeance on the Lion at Terra Mortarion: yes

and that ends the first chapter and all i'll do for tonight, don't want to strain the arms next time we're over to the worst subplot ever

TemplarWarden: Ah yay once again the classic primarch twisted logic. Well it doesn't matter to me actually but I'm still gonna do the vengeance.

Arzach (our resident no 1 Mortarion fan): That remind me : in this book and in Dark Imperium, Typhon/us reasons for his betrayal are not pettiness or dislike of Mortarion but almost a brotherly love, a genuine desire of « helping » his friend / brother to be better. And it’s somehow worse.

[call-sign-shark]

Shark in the UK 🦈

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Hi everyone,

As you might have noticed I was pretty silent since my arrival in the UK. I must admit that I have been through a lot of stress and changes in a very short amount of time and it's only now that I'm finally getting used to this new situation. Below you'll find a detailed post of my adventures so far, so if you are not interested you can simply ignore this and just keep in mind that I'll be returning to my posting schedule and fan-fictions very soon. For those who are curious, fasten your motherfucking seat-belts.

While I'm not an organized person I become one when I have something important planned so I was so well prepared for this journey that I was convinced I was safe from any misadventures... How wrong I was. I was barely done with the security controls at the airport when I realized they literally broke my phone's screen. I don't know if they bumped it or not but they broke it. The same phone in which I had my boarding pass. It obviously happened the only time I didn't print my plane tickets as I usually do. :) Fortunately, my best friend had lent me his old iPhone minutes before "just in case". I managed to airdrop my boarding pass on the second phone and took the plane without trouble despite the flight being delayed by one hour.

Upon my arrival in UK, I took a taxi to the hotel and had a nice time alone. I brought myself to the restaurant and peacefully slept, getting psychologically ready to meet my host family, and oh boy. This is... Something.

When I heard the word "host family" I imagined it to be an actual family, and a bit like when you're an au pair. Retrospectively, it's completely stupid because it was never written but idk my mind went full "ok I'll live with a local family". What a surprise it was when I knocked at the door and was welcomed by one lonely man and the very acrid smell of cigarettes that jumped at my face! While my host dad (@rysko @red-riding-wood @kittenonpluto pimp nickname they said) was extremely nice and welcoming, the more he showed me around the more my face dropped. I wasn't going to spend months in a local family but in an old house more or less laid out like a hostel. A hostel with a strong cigarette smell almost everywhere, five other girls, one dude, and dirt. The differences between my expectations and reality were huge and, as you can imagine, the pill was difficult to swallow. I swear when he opened the door I was this close to run away lmao.

Between my accommodations and the new rhythm of the international school I'm studying in, my mind went completely foggy for a few days. I didn't know what to think or what to feel anymore. Worse, I didn't know if my money was well-spent or if I just got scammed. Now, read what follows before you call me "ungrateful" or "princess-like".

It’s not what I got that made me feel bad, but rather the stupid and nonsensical expectations I had in mind. Then, I slowly realized that it wasn't because I hadn't expected it and that it couldn't be fun. Maybe it had a lot to do with how nice the five other girls and the people at my school are, but I started // I am starting to really enjoy it. The house might be old and not "that clean" (or at least not as clean as I'm used to), but the host dad is lovely, cooks for us every day, we have fast wifi, are close to the school, we have a key and are free to come and go as much as we want without a curfew, and the bedrooms, as well as the toilets, are clean. To be honest, some students have it really worse. I mean, I'm talking about students having to sleep in a room crowded with 7 people, or having to sleep on a mattress on the ground, the host family asking them to buy and cook their own food to the extent of some even locked the kitchen's door at night to avoid the student snacking/stealing food at night. Or students who are on 1 hour of bus-trip long from the school — those conditions I find absolutely disgusting for the extremely expensive price the students have to pay for this language exchange. With everything said, I consider myself lucky despite the cigarette smell and the "clean but not really clean" house.

As I'm writing this, it's Saturday 10 am and I can finally say it: I'm happy to be here, it's a one-life experience and I'm incredibly lucky my parents offered it to me. Unfortunately, I've caught a very bad cold and I've been sick since Wednesday: I think the combination of my emotional rollercoaster, the crazy British weather, my fatigue and half of my classroom being sick have finished me off. Now I can't wait to get better to start attending to a shitton of activities, planning trips around, and going to the pub. Also, I've got my nails done! Look at my freakin' sharp claws teehee.

Congratulations if you're still there by the way, lmao! Thank you for reading my nonsense. I'll be back very soon, both for writing and commenting, just wait for my cold to get better!

Love,

Shark.

tagging some moots: @zablife @brummiereader @emotionalcadaver @justrainandcoffee @peakyswritings @peakyltd

[ravenkinnie]

have you watched all the episodes yet? what are your thoughts?

I just finished all three episodes and lemme first say. I got netflix again for this premiere and netflix has ads now???? this is bullshit

now some thoughts:

THERE ARE SO MANY STORYLINES I'm being cautiously optimistic but I have no idea how they will tie up everything. also I think the reason there are so many montages and music videos in there is partially because the show went into production too late and they had too much shit to wrap up so we had to figure out cool ways to skip some exposition which. I appreciate when they just say fuck it, deduct it. and if I'm anybody in arcane universe it's actually that thick big titty bitch in bdsm gear in the art at the start of episode 2

everybody is extremely hot, caitlyn obviously, jinx is slaying every shot, ambessa and mel.... I shan't. but also it has to be said, caitlyn has a really hot dad like tobias is a beekeeping age

I'm getting my dues as a caitlyn stan and supporter, I mean I haven't seen the takes yet so she might be already fighting for her life but let me already say I don't give a fuck, I'll be defending her all month. she looks so good, she's eating her lil lines, she's so bitchy - when vi was like I watched them kill my parents do you know how that feels and caitlyn goes yeah I do LIKE SHE GAGGED US BOTH A LIL. the kiss was a massive slay, like absolutely delivered, I have no notes. IM SO EXCITED FOR HER AND AMBESSA TOGETHER if you see me on ao3 in those tags be fucking quiet. like not caitlyn accidentally becoming a dictator because a muscle mommy milf manipulated her, you don't understand she is such a wish fulfilment character for me. also she's slowly giving more and more princess bubblegum the more her villain arc starts

idk why piltover has the worst security than any other place, anybody could blow up piltover. WHEN THAT GUY TACKLED MELS ASSASSIN AFTER HE ALREADY TOOK THE SHOT SJSJJSJSK

vis action scenes eat so hard I know many annoying men will main her because for some reason gamers kind of love butches. I wonder if caitvi is slowly becoming that choice for lesbian edaters like the other two that think are this in league are leona and diana amd also weirdly evelynn and ahri

ambessa is incheresting, like she hasn't revealed much of her motivations beyond trying to seize power and not die but I love the scheming and scamming that the women are committing right now. also she made my wimb tremble many times, just like mel, congratulations to the whole family. the design for black rose fucking eatssssss and overall this is such a game of thrones ass storyline without the excessive sexual assault. like ambessa is such tywin, caitlyn is her arya

that silco montage was giving a bit greys anatomy carousel montages but the animation was beautiful, the melodrama was high, the way you can feel her die inside also peak

I'm like still figuring out how i feel about jinx this season, like she's slaying every scene, she's a diva but idk how I feel about the kid yet. jinx and sevika go crazy together, they ate thaaaat. she's kind of calm as fuck but I think with how suicidal she is it makes sense because it's like she's already given up, she made her peace and is finishing her business before she dies so it's this very eery calm. I kind of fuck with it, I think that's an interesting base but I can't figure out what exactly her storyline will be yet.

and the vi and jinx fight was soooooo. I cant lie when vi was like I didn't think my sister would be orphaning kids and jinx fucking went done it to myself enough, like i cackled. and then I SCREACHED when she said I know you're sweet on her, shut uppp caitvi fandom is so annoying I forgot I love them sm, like lesbians we always win idc

AND THE END PART OH MY GOOOD WHEN JINX GETS HER FINGER SHOT OFF AND SPITS OUT BAD BITCH LINES I WAS LIVING AND SHAKING and then the fucking kid had to get in there. I'm sorry that pissed me off if I was caitlyn I would also take the shot. I'd rather vi ended the moment in someeee way or even if caitlyn took a shot anyway. idk it's just episode 3 I'll see how it goes

overall I think zaun storyline is such a mess but it's so weird fantasy steampunk vibe I kind of love it. viktor girls... I see your vision now I almost fell in love at least once when he started looking like a nuclear waste rat

[starmage-constellar]

anyone talking about the secondary musical reference in thisisnotawebsitedotcom?

i dare say i'm stretching it but

with a capital "T", and that rhymes with "P" and stands for "pool"? or, even, words like.. like "swell?" (trouble, trouble, trouble.)

or, if you want to go even further, he's got a girl in every county [...] and that's 102 counties!

the speech predates the musical by a whole 5 years but i think that's the least of our concerns

(more nerdass explanations down below)

if you're not familiar with what musical is being referenced here, i don't blame you. it was a broadway phenomenon in the late 50s-early 60s in america, later had a (rather stellar) hollywood adaptation, and an at-home movie adaptation in 2003.

it's called "the music man," and the only reason i even know of the musical is because it's one of my dad's favorites.

now, i could just stop here, leave you with the information, and go on my merry way. but as someone who is (for better or for worse) very well acquainted with the story of "the music man," you bet your bottom dollar that i noticed some parallels right quick.

the protagonist of "the music man," harold hill, is a traveling con man who's so well-versed at the art of sales that he can put up with the speedy advancements of society without an issue. he seems to have a particular scheme of promising to set up marching bands all around illinois, then running with the money before they get a chance to check him out for anything.

though, of course, professor hill proves himself not a con man for the sake of one person. a lovely librarian and pianist, marian paroo. she's a skeptic and sees professor hill for the scam artist that he is, and attempts to distance herself from him and prove he's a liar. sounds familiar, doesn't it?

(though, of course, ms. paroo doesn't set professor hill on fire, and emmaline doesn't start dating the pseudo-alive silas at the end of the story.)

now, there's already enough comparison to make here already, even if half-assed, but i'd like to take a deeper look at the specific song that silas was mentioning here. "ya got trouble."

professor hill, a little bit after settling into our story's setting of river city, illinois, is informed that the billiard room was just hooked up with a new pool table. this sets off his plan to rally river city to his side: convince them of the trouble that could arise from such "sinful" activities such as your teenaged kids sneaking off to... play pool!

"Just as I say; it takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score In a balkline game; I say that any boob Can take and shove a ball in 'a pocket And I call that sloth; The first big step on the road to the depths of deg-ra-day I say, first: medicinal wine from a teaspoon ... then beer from a bottle!"

the narrative of the song follows professor hill deluding the crowd into his point: don'tcha see what we've come to? the new pool tables here? heck, pool at all, for that matter! do you want your kids bein' enticed by sin like that, hm? influencin' their fickle, innocent minds with this sort of stuff when they can't fight against the devil, unlike us adults?!

(note, "mass-staria" is a portmanteau of "mass hysteria")

silas does almost the EXACT opposite, in terms of message. isn't conformity boring? society, law; it's all so mundane! conformity's made in order to hide what you're REALLY meant to be: a crazed, sinful animal! you were MEANT to act on your impulses, every desire you've had. stop following the flock, and follow those who renounce society, like me.

take a listen for yourself, too, i'm sure you could find even more to it if you looked deeper, dug further.

and i'm sure i have more thoughts, but i think i might've lost my own plot on this one.

[crimeronan]

god i know i keep half-tongue-in-cheek saying that my dad is literally belos owlhouse but. i've apparently gotten a little desensitized to Just How Bad He Is (because i have ESCAPED, YAY) & so today has been a delightful adventure.

i wrote an AITA post from his POV about stuff that happened several years ago, bc i was curious about how bad he'd get dragged - i updated the timeline but the Only fact i changed was the reason for his Woes (i blamed COVID economic struggles, which actually makes him a Hero compared to the truth. the truth being so ugly i'm not gonna detail it here good god).

i kept it true to POV by only using things that he actually did say to me at the time about why he was doing the things that he was doing, & blocking out all the relevant info about why the wronged party (me) was so upset, & having him praise his daughter (me) and go "i love her so much :) she's so smart and independent and i would never hurt her :)", & having him half-assedly admit he might've sounded unreasonable/angry/malicious, in a way that was clearly supposed to earn Good Dad points for being so Willing To Admit Imperfections, despite a continued constant doubling-down refusal to answer questions about actual important shit or fix anything ever.

cannot emphasize enough that this was not a fictionalized/embellished/creative POV. the only points of fiction were 1) my dad did not write these things on reddit, he said them to me in real life word for word instead and 2) this happened many years ago, not like... yesterday.

anyway the thread blew up and the commenters were all so kind and genuinely worried for me (as in, the daughter) and offering so much help that i hopped on a diff account to be my past self so i could reassure people i'm okay & had a plan in motion for gettin' the hell outta dodge. because i felt REALLY BAD that they didn't know i..... did in fact get out. people were so nice it made me actually fucking cry jesus CHRIST. i had in fact perhaps forgotten that these things were all as bad and worrying as they were

now. this is all a very serious and harrowing-sounding prelude to the actual point of this post, which is. a bullet list of some of my FAVORITE FUCKING RESPONSES. revel in these with me i had so much fucking fun. i have taken DOZENS AND DOZENS of screenshots to peruse whenever i need a healthy dose of Perspective

here they r:

you are CARTOONISHLY EVIL?

HOLY ABUSE BATMAN

DO BETTER. RIGHT NOW.

did you even listen to yourself writing this. HOW

there's something seriously wrong with you. like on an intrinsic unfixable level

hey this happened to me too! my parent died and i had a party about it btw

your daughter is never going to speak to you again after this

(note from the future: yeah)

you're going to act confused and sad when she goes no-contact aren't you

(NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: HE SURE FUCKING IS)

i think you are creating your own problems and then getting mad at them. maybe instead you could not do that

is this ragebait. i can't imagine anyone this horrible actually existing

this isn't ragebait. i can tell this isn't ragebait because I Know This Kind Of Man So Intimately

you are the asshole on literally so many levels i'm going to write a 15 paragraph response line-by-line dissecting everything wrong with you

are you aware that you're lying or are you literally this incapable of 2 seconds of honest self-reflection

i need to donate to a gofundme for your daughter right now immediately

(note from the future: i am not going to scam people by pretending a long-done sitch is a current emergency on gofundme. have no fear.)

wow. okay i'm gonna go hug my mom and thank her for not being you

you are Actually Literally Empirically the Actual Literal Worst Parent who has Actually Literally Ever Existed

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????

WHO DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU ARE.

I AM A 57-YEAR-OLD MOM OF FOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND THE MERE THOUGHT OF DOING ANY OF THE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE HERE MAKES ME PHYSICALLY NAUSEOUS

these vibes are so skeevy. leave her the fuck alone????

along with ASTONISHINGLY accurate inferences about exactly what was happening with the daughter (me) in all the missing missing reasons & like..... exactly how the situation was So Much More Ugly And Horrifying than an innocently confused i'm-so-well-intentioned dad-POV post would have you believe.

so. anyway. that was literally the most validating experience i've ever had in my entire life. i know i've said he's a bad guy before but i also always forget just how far beyond the pale he is. like wow that was. that was not a normal average human experience to have growing up huh.

IN CONCLUSION.

if you guys are ever wondering why i am the way that i am about, like........ anything....... everything....... whatever......

just remember.

i was raised by belos owlhouse.

[inkysandwich]

Aw, guys. This chapter made me super happy. Chapters with all four of them together are my favorites, but actually it's always the ones with Qiu, too.

I love this man.

He's more of an agent of chaos in this story than She Li is (was 🫤) Not because Q is unpredictable or poses an immediate threat, but because him being near generally indicates that someone else has plans. I mean... It's not totally unbelievable that He Cheng forgot to feed Q and he really is just swinging by the market on the way home to his now emptier, dogless home.

But is he?

I doubt it.

Though I do not doubt that he's using his current goose-wrangling babysitting gig to get in on that certified home cooked MGS action. Again.

Qiu is cheeky and bold and unyeildingly bulldozes his way into where he needs to be. Which is why he's the perfect bridge for HC to have between himself and the idiots. Do you think HC would have gotten the same reaction, stumbling into them and bribing himself a seat at the dinner table to keep an eye on them?

Q is crass--even his boss--and that makes him approachable. He's just a dude with a job he thought would be better (like MGS) that he got because he has a level of loyalty to a powerful man that he can't fully explain or probably even justify (like HT) and is now responsible for the safety of a flighty idiot that can't seem to stop getting kidnapped (like ZZX). But he's strong and capable and protects the people he needs to protect (like JY wants to be, HT too). Q can reach them in ways that HC's position would never allow.

He's there when they need more hands in a fight, when the kids are being scammed, when they can't build a fire, when they can't get to school on time, when JY needs to be un-kidnapped, when HT gets to say goodbye to his dog. He gets them ice cream (and king crab!) and guitars and firewood. He gives them rides on his motorcycle and lets them roughhouse but punishes them when they take it too far. He teaches them how to be stronger and when to show restraint and oh my god Qiu is the only suitable father figure in this whole damn story.

It's just a bonus that I'm never going to be sad looking at any part of him.

But his presence is a harbinger.

Of impending mafia send-offs? Of looming threats of rivals? Of teenaged hijinks or mindless street thugs? Of malicious neighbors with cat lasers toys?

We won't know until they strike. (Although, I have my assumptions)

I was going to talk more about the chapter, but this kinda became a Q appreciation post. I couldn't help it. And neither could I help the onslaught of senseless head cannon from taking over.

Because I really really want to see Mom's reaction to Q. He's a gruff muscles-definitely-for-more-than-show dude, but she lives with a prickly "delinquent" that towers over most people, so she knows how to read between the lines.

But--and I WILL die on this hill--she knows how to read between the lines.

Do I think we'll ever get the Momma confrontation I've asked for so badly for years now? Probably not outside of my drafts. But I don't care. She knows, and I know she knows, and you know I know she knows👃

Because in the same breath that I wish for her to react to the mafia presence, I also just... I want this single dad (yes, single. You're going to make him do all the childrearing, send him off to clean up the messes, AND STILL NOT FEED HIM?!) to be treated kindly by the mother of all mothers. I want them to commiserate on keeping track of these animals. I want him to reassure her that her son isn't going to be held back any more. I want her to make him soup that tastes so good he asks for some to go and she gives it to him under the condition that he comes by any time he wants a home cooked meal.

And HT dies a little inside. And so does MGS the first time "A-Qiu" takes her up on her offer...

I'll stop now before I make any grievous mistakes, but I'm sure you can imagine that my draft list of questionable prompts is growing 😈

[cccccasperghost]

Does anyone else feel a little icky about oakworthy rn?

Especially after this episode it just doesn't feel right. Like at first it was fucking sweet to see a queer person in the main cast, like "oh an awkward quirky boy crushing on an overly confident drama dweeb, sick."

After the comedy standup episode and learning that no he didn't steal the mascot costume for school spirit and no he doesn't actually like Normal I was like ok cool, not ideal but certainly salvageable. Maybe an friends to enemies to lovers kind of thing, I still have hope for them.

Them after that is was just all downhill. It feels more like Hermie's just using the fact that Normal likes him for his own gain and that just doesn't sit right.

Like yeah Hermie has his own shit with his dad's going on as well as obvious mental health issues to deal with but that shouldn't be an excuse. And it certainly shouldn't be Normal's job to fix that.

And the fact that Normal is now developing actual feelings for Hermie and genuinely trying to help someone who (for lack of a better word because it feels too little to say crush) he loves just breaks me to see him get treated like this.

Hermie knows Normal likes him and he's actively using that to try and get Normal to first kill his dad then get with two of his friends.

Maybe if Hermie sees how much pain he's putting Normal through, or I don't know like Normal being doodlerised or something and he starts either trying or move on maybe then they can build a relationship or friendship.

I just want Normal to be happy, maybe it's just my own baggage filling into this or something but this isn't right. The amount of stress that Normal's under has got to stop.

I mean first your dad goes missing, then you realize your dad has been running some organization to fight monsters, turns out he isn't proud of you, one of you're friends alliance herself with a murderer, they kill your principal Infront of you, your dad fucked with the world up, you have to go into another dimension to save your dad, a weird monster thing from that world is the only person to see how hurt you are right now, you're finally able to go home, now your friends going through some shit that you have to help with. After that you learn that the boy you've been crushing on scammed you for your mascot costume, something you love very dearly, but that's fine you think its awesome that someone has that much school spirit- SIKE. Turns out he didn't do it for any reason you thought, actually he couldn't give less of a shit about you, now he's asking you to kill his dad for a date, then goes directly to you for advise to get with your friends after you learn that your very cruelty free very vegan and consent enforcing parents have been forcing your sister to fight and kill animals because she has to be the chosen one.

Like dude can't catch a break, so much is out of his control and none of the kids or adults seem to be doing anything about it or care. This is probably one of the only things he can control in his life and yet he's still getting hurt by it.

It would make sense if he got doodlerised and honestly that might have to be the thing that get his family and friends to care about it. I'm not saying all the other teens traumas and struggles aren't valid but you can't compare them.

Taylor has always had a good life, he's had a caring, rich, and financially stable mother.

Linc has two wonderful dads who care about his mental health and supports his interest, sure grant hasn't always been truthful about his really dangerous job but even when they were trying to keep the teens in the d.a.d.d.i.e.s building he cared about his sons wellbeing.

Scary is the only one out of them who stands a chance against the emotional pain scale against normal. Shehas a wonderful mother, but she struggles with not having her dad around and doesn't feel like she fits in her own family and now the fact that her step father has been shot in front of her which I'm not saying isn't as bad as what Normal's going through just hold on. All of the teens struggle don't even touch the generational pain that normal is going through with his entire life and the lives of his dad and uncle and his grandfather.

It's clear he's trying so hard to carry everyone else's pain and Hermie is deliberately using his kind and caring nature and it feels so wrong. He's not blind he can see how much normal is holding and using his emotions and Normal's knowledge on how he views him and using it against him.

I want so badly for it to work but I don't know how it can.

Anyways this was more stream of consciousness than I wanted but let me know your ideas on it, maybe I'm thinking about it wrong I don't know.

[fangdokja]

It's really interesting that you're a Christian and you have this blog, NO OFFENSE, I'm suprised cuz I do have certain beliefs on Christians, they're not extremes but it's surprising somehow that I find a Christian writing about Yanderes, it's not exactly a common mix, plus somehow that reminds me that the Twilight series is written by a Mormon woman lol

Well my family is a Christian family, actually my dad's is, my family isn't so religious as opposed to my uncle's family who does go to Church, I never went to a sermon at all, my family isn't tightly religious so I can say I grew up pretty religious free, so I kinda have a hybrid view on religions in general: I understand that they're good while also know they're subjects for bad things (Things like cults, abusing religion for personal gains like scams, bad people can be in any religion), funny how I'm pretty religious blind despite being Asian, we do have certain customs that are religious and they're traditions but I mostly never really partake much so I don't know much

I also used to like stuff involving religions, well like the Robert Langdon series (I love Davinci Code and Angels and Demons), yeah they're complete fiction but they do bring up lots of interesting stuff on Fiction even though many ppl considered the works as disrespectful to religion whether they're religious or not, even though it's made clear that they're works of Fiction and not official researchs on actual Christianity, more like conspiracy theories but written well

Despite how I'm pretty much an atheist, I honestly feel drawn to religions and the wonders surrounding them, they're interesting even though I honestly have bad attention spans and get bored easily, it's still a wonderful subject even though I don't know all of it

I also like that you're writing hetero romance horrors, it's a genre that needs exploring in the age where apparently being straight is weird? I mean I'm bi but I usually lean more on straight relationships in Fiction more than queer cuz gay fiction isn't bad but it's not my fave much and I prefer reading gay stuff if it's porn, yes some queer people might think this is offensive cuz I might fetishize LGBTQ, but it's really not, I just like reading smut about women, plus sometimes if I seriously want to read a serious queer story, they don't always have the best examples cuz they have really toxic stereotypes and seeing how queerness have been weaponized in these recent years, you can get my aversion to it, not to mention straight romance have not been good lately so it's pretty much not a difference in the Fiction realms of any sexuality

Again I'm not against LGBTQ, rather I find them interesting, I'm a positive person despite having a difficult personality, I always try to see the goods in things even though it's negative, I mean queer people are good even though they have quite a lot of bad members, I honestly have nothing against them, just becuz some gay people are severely negative and are assholes don't mean I'm gonna hate on the LGBTQ just like how I'm not gonna hate religions cuz some assholes follow them

I hope this isn't weird and I didn't say anything offensive, I'm not exactly very good at having the best awareness regarding just about anything so I might've said something offensive

♡ Book 5. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams. ♡ WC. 1,346

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I appreciate the effort you put into articulating your perspective, and I value open discussions that prioritize logic, reasoning, and a structured approach to understanding complex topics.

1. Response to Receiving Long Messages & Reader Diversity

I am genuinely surprised when I receive long messages, especially upon waking up. But it is not an issue at all, and I appreciate the patience in waiting for a thorough response. My approach is always to match the level of effort in discussion, ensuring that I respond comprehensively rather than providing a surface-level reply.

The diversity of readers within the blog is something I have also observed. While many remain as lurkers, it is always interesting when direct and blunt individuals engage in conversation. While it is not an uncommon occurrence, it is always unexpected due to the passive nature of most online audiences. The variety of personalities engaging with the content reflects a broad spectrum of perspectives, which, while surprising, is also valuable in fostering meaningful discourse.

2. Personal Faith & Upbringing in a Business-Oriented Environment

My faith in Jesus is something deeply personal and meaningful to me. Despite writing dark content, this creative expression does not contradict my beliefs; rather, it serves as an outlet for my thoughts and imagination. Writing is a medium for exploration, and it does not dictate moral alignment—it is merely an avenue for ideas to be presented and dissected.

Growing up in a business-oriented family, I have witnessed firsthand how money is often treated as the ultimate pursuit. While there were some elements of religious exposure during childhood, they were largely superficial, as business always took precedence. The shift away from any semblance of faith became more pronounced during COVID, where any previous traditions or practices faded entirely.

It is my firm belief that faith should not be reduced to a cultural or performative act. Many individuals use religion as a means of social conformity or convenience rather than genuine conviction. From my perspective, Christianity is not about religion; it is about following Jesus. Historically, even Jesus himself was critical of religious institutions, as they were responsible for his execution. Faith, to me, is a personal commitment rather than an adherence to rituals imposed by organizations that may not always reflect true spiritual values.

3. Understanding Media, Religion, and Interpretation

Media often distorts religious and cultural concepts, which is to be expected. The inaccuracy of portrayals is not surprising, as every form of media is influenced by bias, creative liberties, and the intended audience’s expectations.

While I am not extensively familiar with certain pieces of provocative media, I recognize that all works—whether religious, philosophical, or fictional—require critical thinking when consumed. My exposure to various religions primarily comes through literature, manga, manhwa, novels, and other storytelling mediums. However, I always approach such content with discernment, relying on primary sources to maintain a foundation of knowledge. Having a solid understanding of core texts allows one to distinguish between truth and misrepresentation without unnecessary emotional responses.

There is little reason to engage in debates over fictional representations, as fiction is not bound by factual obligations. The ability to differentiate between entertainment and reality is crucial. As long as one remains grounded in their understanding, exposure to diverse narratives does not pose a threat to personal beliefs.

4. Personal Standards in Media Consumption

My approach to consuming content is based on quality rather than conformity to a specific genre or theme. I hold extremely high standards when engaging with serious material, but I am also capable of enjoying content in a more casual manner. The primary factor that determines my engagement is whether the work is well-executed and logically sound.

One of my biggest pet peeves in storytelling is the reliance on plot armor and the overuse of fate or destiny as narrative devices. I prefer narratives where outcomes are dictated by cause-and-effect relationships rather than arbitrary plot conveniences. Regardless of whether a story is set in a fantasy or realistic world, internal consistency and logic must be upheld. Everything follows a system or structure—understanding that system allows one to navigate and manipulate it effectively.

This preference extends to horror as well. I find more appeal in horror games due to the agency they grant the protagonist. In contrast, many horror movies tend to portray supernatural forces as overly powerful while diminishing the intelligence and capability of the main characters. Additionally, the frequent mockery of Jesus and faith-based elements in mainstream horror is both predictable and unoriginal.

While I do have specific preferences, my ultimate criterion is execution. A well-crafted story, regardless of its themes, can be engaging as long as it is logically constructed.

5. The Distinction Between Faith and Religion

As previously mentioned, my perspective on faith is distinct from organized religion. Religion, as an institution, has many flaws—flaws that Jesus himself pointed out during his lifetime. My approach to faith is simple: seek knowledge, understand it, and determine how to apply it in life. This is not exclusive to religious texts but applies to all forms of learning. The ability to process new information objectively and critically is invaluable.

Learning is an ongoing process. No one understands everything immediately, and that is acceptable. The pursuit of knowledge should be approached with patience and a willingness to engage in rational discourse.

6. Observations on Media Trends & Psychological Impact

There has been a noticeable cultural shift where traditional perspectives are now perceived as unusual or unconventional. While I am not surprised by these developments, I also do not engage with them beyond passive observation.

In general, I do not concern myself with other people's preferences as long as they do not directly impact me. Disagreements are inevitable, but they do not necessitate hostility. People have different tastes, and there is no need to adopt an aggressive stance against those who think differently.

However, I do find frustration in the difficulty of finding well-crafted psychological or thriller works, particularly within romance genres. Many stories labeled as “dark” are often underwhelming, as they lack the depth and complexity I seek. The themes that are considered controversial in certain spaces often feel tame compared to true psychological horror or thriller narratives. This discrepancy is why I choose to create my own content, as existing works rarely meet my standards. The downside, of course, is that I already know the outcomes of my own stories.

My extensive consumption of true crime, psychological, thriller, and horror content has also contributed to a level of desensitization. As a result, many narratives that others find shocking or disturbing tend to register as relatively mild to me.

7. Logical Approach to Human Behavior & Judgment

A blunt personality is often mistaken for being difficult, but from my perspective, it is simply a form of direct communication. Many people struggle with bluntness because they expect social interactions to be softened with unnecessary pleasantries. However, as long as there is mutual respect and an absence of hostility, directness should not be perceived as offensive.

People are complex and cannot be defined by singular traits. There are reasonable and unreasonable individuals within every group, whether religious, non-religious, LGBTQ+, or otherwise. Judging an entire category of people based on isolated negative experiences is inherently flawed. This type of generalization fuels discrimination and prevents rational analysis of individual character.

Understanding people requires patience, context, and an objective assessment of their actions rather than surface-level labels. Hate does not resolve conflicts—only rational discourse and deliberate effort toward understanding can mitigate cycles of resentment.

8. Final Thoughts

At the core of all discussions, logic should remain the guiding principle. People’s experiences and biases shape their perspectives, but critical thinking allows for a broader and more objective understanding of reality. I appreciate rational discourse and value discussions that are grounded in logical analysis rather than emotional reaction.

Your perspective is appreciated, and I find our discussion to be both insightful and constructive. Thank you for engaging in this dialogue with patience and a willingness to exchange ideas logically and respectfully.

❤︎ Fang Dokja's Books.

♡ For Reader-Inserts. I only write Male Yandere x Female (Fem.) Reader (heterosexual couple). No LGBTQ+:

♡ Book 1. A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology

♡ Book 2. Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires.

♡ Book 3. World Ablaze (WA) : For You, I'd Burn the World.

♡ Book 4 Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows.

♡ Book 5 [you are here]. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.

♡ Library MASTERPOST 1. The Librarian’s Ledger: A Map to The Library of Forbidden Texts.

♡ Notice #1. Not all stories are included in the masterpost due to Tumblr’s link limitations. However, most long-form stories can be found here. If you're searching for a specific yandere or theme, this guide will help you navigate The Library of Forbidden Texts. Proceed with caution

♡ Book 6. The Red Ledger (TRL): Stained in Lust, Written in Blood.

♡ Notice #2. This masterlist is strictly for non-con smut and serves as an exercise in refining erotic horror writing. Comments that reduce my work to mere sexual gratification, thirst, or casual simping will not be tolerated. If your response is primarily thirst-driven, keep it to yourself—repeated violations may result in blocking. Read the RULES before engaging. The tag list is reserved for followers I trust to respect my boundaries; being included is a privilege, not a right. You may request to be added, but I will decide based on trust and adherence to my guidelines. I also reserve the right to remove anyone at any time if their engagement becomes inappropriate.

[the-writer-nerd-ro]

Louie and Gosalyn, maybe?? I always wanted to see their dynamic :D

I love these two they're so devious, I had to write the start of their friendship

Send me asks pairing two of the Ducktales good guys and I will write a short fic with them interacting. Not for Ships. Based on this post.

Fic below:

"Dewey's not here today," Louie said, having opened the door to reveal a very serious, expectant looking Gosalyn.

"Shoot. What about Huey?"

"No, they're all off on a thing." Another adventure that Louie had just narrowly avoided.

"Even Webby?"

"Mm-hm."

"What about your ghost butler?"

"He does what he wants. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Oh come on, I'm not even your last resort? That's offensive. I thought we were friends."

"Name one time we've hung out."

Louie opened his mouth.

"Webby's birthday party doesn't count."

Louie closed his mouth, sulking a little.

"I am just as good as Huey or Dewey," Louie insisted.

"What about Webby?"

"I'm not delusional, but she's not here so take it or leave it."

Gosalyn let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine."

"No need to be grateful or anything. What's the problem?"

"I think my dad- er, Drake, is being scammed. I want to give the scammer a taste of their own medicine."

Louie's eyes lit up. He loved scamming scammers. This would be the perfect way to kill an afternoon.

Twenty minutes later they had set up a war room in the den, beginning to pull up everything they could on this con artist.

"Oh, I've dealt with this loser before. His schemes are so see-through, how is your dad falling for these?"

"Drake is an excellent hero and he's very smart in very specific areas. But he's not always the sharpest in the business sense."

"Well then he needs someone like us. Let's destroy this fool."

They made short work of it from there, another scheme becoming apparent to Louie as the pair celebrated their victory with popcorn and cans of Pep!

"You knew the others weren't here today, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"You knew I'd only help you if I thought you didn't want my help. I can't believe I fell for that."

"To be fair, I think I was pretty convincing."

Louie drew a business card from his hoodie pocket.

"Louie Inc. is always looking to hire sharp minds like you."

"Maybe we could become friends before we become business partners?" Gosalyn suggested.

"Alright, alright. Do you like Ottoman Empire?"

"I've never seen it."

Louie's eyes widened in surprise and excitement.

"You're going to love it."