#my dad was denied health care for his back and his teeth
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i am absolutely baffled by the amount of people who keep calling the CEO killer "just like Batman" because I thought it was common fucking knowledge that that man does not use guns??? and does not kill???? before I even got into Batman that was very much something that I knew. just because he is a vigilante does not mean that he's like Batman. I've even seen people call him the Joker???? what planet are you fucking living on??? if you want to compare him to a Batman character look at literally half of his kids when they're having a bad day. I'm more inclined to believe that this is something Jason Todd would do, if he somehow was like "I need to be discreet about it" for the first time in his life. honestly I can see Tim doing it. I know they keep saying that Tim did not kill anybody when he blew up all of the League bases... but let's be real for two seconds. Tim Drake has an alternate future where he becomes Gun Batman. he knows how to create multiple fake identities for himself and rarely gets caught. in a timeline where he wasn't losing his shit and was planning out a murder meticulously for a reason and a message it'd be like this. Jason and Tim both have the dramatics to put the Monopoly money in a backpack. Actually they'd consider this a bonding exercise and do it together
#uhc ceo#ceo killer#when worlds collide#batman#jason todd#tim drake#the adjuster#deny defend depose#also if anybody gets on my case about this i will tell you to shut up 😭#this is the happiest ive been in months#my grandpa was denied healthcare for his cancer#my dad was denied health care for his back and his teeth#if you didn't live life being scared of the money it costs to go to the doctor#then you won't fucking get it
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So in case some of you don't know, I'm a trans 16yr old in Western Australia, AKA the worst Aus state to live in for trans minors.
I'm serious.
This state is behind on LGBT+ rights by at LEAST 5 years compared to the other states of Aus, our government has been promising to outlaw conversion therapy for the past year (give or take) and still hasn't made it into law. Despite what people believe, conversion therapy is still LEGAL, sure it's difficult to find but it is still fucking legal.
Out of the entire state of WA there is only one clinic that can offer gender affirming care to under 18s, besides the one that offers it to 17-25yr olds, and that is the Gender Diversity Service at Perth Children's Hospital. WA is a huge state, so if you lived in Albany you would need to drive over five hours to get to Perth, it is a ten hour drive there and back.
Sure they offer Telehealth appointments but what about when you need to get your HRT script, or your height and weight recorded? Sure you can do it via Telehealth and give them that info through email but they prefer to meet face to face.
The GDS doesn't have enough staff to meet the demand, and the waitlist for an actual appointment with your care team after the initial assessment is three years. I was on the waitlist from 11-13 1/2 (eleven to thirteen and a half), by the time I had my first real appointment I couldn't even be prescribed puberty blockers because I had already finished puberty. And because of the lack of info regarding minors transitioning in WA, and minors transitioning in Australia in general, my parents were unaware puberty blockers were even a thing, and I ended up thinking that I could start T at 14 with parental consent and after being deemed Gillick Competent.
nope
You can only start HRT here after you turn 16, unless you want to get a telehealth appointment over East and in which case, good luck, because most Drs over there that prescribe to minors are completely booked out. And to make things worse for my mental health, the psychiatrist on my care team said that if I didn't start attending school regularly that I wouldn't be deemed Gillick Competent and therefore, wouldn't be able to start T until I was 18.
That caused me to start having panic attacks almost daily, both while I was getting ready for school and at school drop-off. I was a complete mess, because this psychiatrist held the power to deny me medical care over something that had nothing to do with my ability to comprehend or consent to HRT. I wanted to file a complaint so badly, but my dad wouldn't let me, he said that he didn't have an opinion on it because he wasn't a medical professional and therefore didn't know the standards. So I bit my tongue, because if I did file a complaint she would know who did it, and even if she didn't she would still be kicked off my care team, and then I would have to wait months for a new psychiatrist which wasn't an option, so I clenched my teeth and let her words cause me a depressive episode.
There is so little information regarding transition for minors in WA, that even when I specified what state I was in, I still got info for the other states. So many doctors are still ignorant when it comes to the LGBT+ and trans people, that my own paediatrician tried saying that if gender roles didn't exist, or if a trans person lived on an island isolated from society, that gender dysphoria wouldn't even be a thing. Which is completely untrue, and I was in too much shock from hearing such utter bullshit that I didn't even respond.
I wanted to file a complaint, but my dad argued that he was just being "supportive" in his own way, and that because he was also both my brothers paediatricians, he couldn't possibly have some bias against me, because he's known our family for over twenty years. Mind you, that doctor is known for being dismissive towards girls/females/AFABS with autism and he is very "old fashioned" (cough, ignorant, cough), so why the fuck wouldn't he be ignorant towards the actual science around gender dysphoria?
And then a member of a political party in my state recently proposed that if she was voted into Parliament, that she would ban HRT, Puberty Blockers, and gender affirming surgery, for under 16s.
Which is quite... funny, because HRT is already illegal here for under 16s and you have to have a psych eval that takes years, surgery is only done in cases where gender dysphoria has been documented from a young age and only after multiple very long, very tedious psychological evaluations and even then there still aren't any surgeons in the entire state that would do affirming surgery on minors.
And then banning puberty blockers for under 16s is just fucking horeshit, because how the fuck do you expect puberty blockers to work on someone over 16?? There is nothing to block! Most teens have gone through Tanner stages 1,2 and 3 by age 16 so there are no more significant changes to be prevented, except maybe height but even then its not a guarantee.
She only announced this after it was confirmed that the gender reassignment board would be abolished, therefore making it so that trans people no longer have to have genital surgery to have their sex markers changed in our state, y'know, something that most of the other states have already done.
I'll probably continue this post after i get the rest of my thoughts in order, so I'll tell you all (glances at 50 followers, most of whom are bots) more about how shitty this state is for trans minors maybe in a few days.
#Doily's “being a trans teen in Western Aus”#tw rape threats#tw transphobia mentioned#tw r@pe threats#tw transphobes#transgender#ftm#examples of transphobia#trans teen#sneet snart#terfs dni#yes this also affects trans women and femmes too#trans men#trans experience#minors transitioning#transmasc#i dont like using transmasc for myself but putting it here to boost#transgender man#trans masc#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#trans issues#trans rights are human rights#trans rights#trans guy#mtf#trans women#trans femme#fuck transphobes
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"shut up, asshole." frank mumbled, through a chuckle. picking the hat up to slap tyler's head with it, before putting it on. much more careful with the second movement, "well, next time a pretty girl asks me what the fuck is wrong with me, i will give her your number so you can answer her. since you know me so fucking well apparently." he shook his head. once again focused in pouring himself some more. — he had to laugh at his assessment of arizona, "she likes you, tyler. if arizona didn't like you, you wouldn't be thinking that, you would be fuckin' sure she will hate you forever and that she might do something wild given the chance. teacher in high school told her to fix her if she wanted to come into class, she keyed racist into his car, slashed his tires and broke his windshield. i asked her if she had done it, she said yeah and i will do it again. she was four-fucking-teen, man" frank, like the good dad he was, told her to deny it with every fiber of her being and anybody question you on it. call your mom. the right advice was call a lawyer, but in that case her mom was the lawyer. "she is just, she thinks the only way to keep herself safe is by bearing her teeth at the world." frank couldn't precisely blame her for that. the world had been too dark, too hurtful, too angry at him for as long as he knew it. his ting warned with a new message. arizona sent back fine. and nothing else. frank rolled his eyes, all too affectionate. "i think i already the fuck up part. all i can do now is try an' fix it." he shoved the phone back in his pocket, "did you know this mental health shit is hereditary? of all the things that kid could get from me, she gets that, huh." frank chuckled, a little too sadly. "now, the important question is, is there any way in hell i can get maggie on my team during football? think if i say i'll help her kick your ass she'll take it?"
"what do you think i been doin' this whole time frank? just sittin' around not paying attention to you? i bet i know you better than you know yourself. i have done nothin' but pay attention to you, in love since i was fourteen, remember?" tyler said with a shake of his head. "frank, it's a rule for folks that come to the OV, or go to the stampede. you can wear my hat." he wasn't about to admit how much pride that instilled in him, how that warmed his chest in pesky ways that would haunt him later down the line. "if it makes you feel better, and i don't gather it will, but if it makes you feel better, i don't think she's ever goin' to like me, no matter how close she is with mags. you should invite he, like an olive branch. she choses not to come, hey, that's her call, right? you tried. and as a parent, at a certain point that is all you really can do. hope and fuckin' pray that you didn't fuck them up enough that they never talk to you 'gain, right?" he watched frank as he sent a quick text off, basking in the grateful he was feeling for this. for the apology and the confession and the admission and the awkward. grateful to have frank back, in any capacity. hopefully he would grow a pair and ask suvi to move to jasper. it would be nice to get his friends back, especially frank. like he was finally getting the oxygen he had been missing for twenty years.
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I've seen in shows/movies taking place in high school were kids are paired up in, i'm guessing, health class to take care of a fake baby. Never happened in my school but imagine jake and princess getting this assignment.
Jake immediately claims reader as his "wife" and takes his role as "dad" as seriously as one goofy guy can be. Princess sees this as an easy A, while Jake sees this as practice for the future.
“For health and science, your assignment is going to be a take home baby,” the health teacher had looked right past Jake, his eagerness as he pumped his fist was not easy to miss.
“Hey princess,” Jake grinned and rapped on the top of the desk, stealing your attention for himself, “you and me, we’re gonna make a baby.”
“Its a fake baby, you dolt.” You chortled and flicked his arm, the already vibrant connection between you growing a little more.
“Practice, princess.” Jake leaned back, his chair nearly toppling the further he went. “We’re gonna play house, I’ll be the daddy and you be the mommy.”
“and you can pick your partners-“
“Princess!” Jake raised his voice in a shout, the front legs of his chair slamming hard against the floor. “You and me! My wife! My mate everyone-“
“Jake Jensen!” Mrs. Thornton had raised her voice and yelled over his excitement. “I’m glad to hear you already choosing partners, but if you could sit-“
“My wife,” Jake lowered him to the chair then leaned forward and directed a statement to the beta to your left, “mine. My wife. Back off.”
“Jake,” you groaned, sinking into your chair, “no one else wants me-“
“Well they should! Look at you-“
“You want someone else to want me?” You raised an eyebrow, catching him in the tough position.
“No!” Jake scrambled to right his statement. “You’re mine, no one else can have you. I’m just saying, princess-“
“Your baby.” Mrs. Thornton set the fake baby down on the desk, tapping hard with the end of her pen. “Don’t kill it.”
“Why are you worrying?” Jake grasped the baby and tucked it into his chest. “I’m an alpha, I’m the future head of the mob, I’m-“
“-a total dork.” One of the cheerleaders in the class scoffed and rolled her eyes, flipping him off when the teacher walked away.
“And you’re a big old slut bag, you’ll only get worse with age.” You growled under your breath in defence of Jake, your teeth grinding and your scent shifting with your anger.
“Damn, princess.” Jake beamed and leaned over, his nose brushing against your cheek. “You’re a mama bear, aren’t you?”
“A week,” the teacher cleared their throat, “you have a week with the baby and at the end we’ll assess how you did.”
“Ya know,” Jake rest his elbow on the desk and angled himself toward you, “we really shouldn’t separate a family. I’m thinking…you come sleep in my room, in my bed that way we can be closer.”
“Nice try, Jake.” You stood and grabbed your books, denying him softly.
“Come on, princess! We’re playing house, you and me-“
“Y/N,” Mrs. Thornton called you name and waved you up to the front, “make sure Jake participates and actually helps. Most alphas-“
“Hey teach!” Jake called from where he sat, a makeshift sling crafted from his hoodie strung across his chest. “I already got a carrier.”
“I think Jake will be fine.”
#Jake and princess#Jake Jensen and princess#Jake Jensen & princess#everything for you series: Jake & Princess#Jake & Princess’ big week#parenting practice#everything for you series: parenting practice
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Chivalry is dead (JJK x Reader) 💜(☁️)🔞
🖤 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
🖤 Genre: CEO x Secretary AU, Fluff/Romance, Coworkers to lovers?, mild angst, Smut
🖤 Warnings: swearing, mentions of surgery, did I mention swearing, Kookster is whipped, it’s kinda cheesy, please someone get me a Jungkook like that, slow sex, gentle lovemaking, it’s nothing freaky this time, oral (f rec.) protected sex, sugary sweet live confession you might get diabetes
🖤 Summary: Jeon Jungkook was your boss. The roles were clear as day, so why did it seem so complicated?
You had no idea who in the hell actually invented coffee- like who thought roasting some weird beans and spilling hot water over that stuff was a good idea? Well, whoever it was, that person could go fuck themselves royally; because first of all, that stuff tasted bitter as hell, and second of all, it made your early morning shift an absolute nightmare.
Maybe it wasn't the coffee, but the person who loved them- Jeon Jungkook. Self-proclaimed savior of his Dad's company after taking over at the mere age of 22. Now, at 25, he was a well known face in his business, with famous magazines naming him 'one to watch out for' when talking about deals and sudden decisions. He's headstrong, smart, and unbelievably good looking too.
And also an asshole.
Thats at least what your flatmate Jenny usually says whenever he's the main course of your conversations. You'd told her time and time again that he was merely this rough with you because he was stressed- yet she simply stated that you were just an angel too good for this world- and especially too good for him.
"2 Minutes late." Came his rough voice as he didn't even look up to greet you, simply tapping on the surface of his crisp white table where he expected you to put his coffee. (Black and bitter as his soul, as Jenny always said.) He nodded, hand raising to dismiss you as always, until his eyes turned downwards, spotting your scaped up knee; half-hazardly covered by a bandaid that already came off at one side due to the rush you'd been in. Sure, you could apologize now, tell him how you were late because that freaking dogwalker let a leash of one of his huskies slip, which basically ran you over like a truck considering your rather short height, but you'd found out early on that Jeon Jungkook didn't care about your stories. Yet with his still lingering stare, you felt like he'd glued you to the ground by the soles of your shoes, without his dismissal you were forced to stay right where you were. He took a sip of his black beverage before setting the cup down with a sigh, getting up to walk towards a small bathroom connected to his office. Emerging out of the room again with a couple of items in his hand, he sat down on his chair behind his laptop, turning it towards you.
He had to lean down a bit as he took off the bandaid, not even saying sorry as you hissed at the sting. You did notice however how he took it off more gently after that, as he threw it into his bin, opening the plastic bag of desinfectant wipes, before his large hand held the back of your knee, almost delicately. He began to clean the scrape, brows furrowing a bit at the view of the raw skin, thinking about how you probably ran with that all the way to his office just to not be even later. He wanted to apologize, at least give you some form of verbal reassurance that it was okay to put your own health before his goddamn coffee, but the words got stuck inside his throat as he gently placed a new, more properly sized bandaid over the wound, sighing as some red seeped through immediately. "Get that checked after work today." He simply said before getting up to put all of the items away into their proper place as you were left with still tingling skin from his touch. He turned around, looking at you with an almost bored, but soft look. "What're you standing there for? You're dismissed." He said, and you practically ran out of the office.
"He wants to fuck you." Jenny simply said as she bit into her sandwich, while you were left almost spitting out your lunch. "What? That was electricity, I'm telling you! He so wants to screw you." She said, almost accusingly pointing a finger at you as she took a sip of her water, watching you.
"Stop. He only did that because he.." Oh well yeah, why did he do that? He could've simply told you to get it checked instead of taking care of it himself for that matter. But he was someone who wanted things done immediately- e rarely could wait for things to finish or to be done, so maybe he just wanted to have things more proper during your shift? Exactly. He just wanted to keep the image of his company intact- maybe even raise it by showing other employees that he cared for everyone deeply, even if he didn't. "He probably just wanted me not to look like I got scraped off the streets." You mumbled before taking a bite of your lunch, Jennies eyes rolling.
"Truth is;" She started, as she threw away her plastic waste before checking her watch, "That I still think he wants you bend over his desk." She finished, as you turned shades of pink, lowering your gaze at that. You always tried to keep those thoughts away from you, knowing how unprofessional it was. "Does he know you're leaving soon?" She asked, now a bit softer since she knew it was a touchy topic. You shook your head.
"I haven't put in my termination yet." You answered, your food suddenly looking stale. Jenny sighed, hugging your side.
"I'll buy some icecream on the way home, you're finishing later than I do I assume?" She asked, and you nodded again as a confirmation. "Alright. Let's binge on movies tonight, and have a nice weekend alright? Heads up." Came her reply as she left with a wave, to get back to her own desk in the company.
Jenny and you had met while you were waiting for your interview with Jeon to begin, and when you began to talk, you immediately hit off. You'd told her how much the driving back and forth from your old apartment to work would be, and eventually she'd decided to share her apartment with you close to the company. You were a bit hesitant at first, but eventually agreed; and it was one of your best decisions yet. The way to work was basically half an hour by foot- if it wasn't for your daily task of bringing your boss a coffee from this one specific shop downtown, almost an hour away by foot. It was okay however. Everyone had their preference.
At least you told yourself that to feel better about being Jeon Jungkooks personal slave.
"You're in love with her." Jimin stated, as Jungkook almost choked on his instant ramen.
"What the fuck dude, I don't." He exclaimed in a scandalized manner, long dark hair successfully hiding the red tips of his ears. He simply furrowed his brows, chopsticks now digging in his cup as if to search for treasure, just so he didn't have to look up and meet the eyes of his very nosy friends who were sitting in his living room.
"So you only want to fuck her." Yoongi grumbled as he hit after Jimin, who'd tried to steal a peace of meat from his plate.
"Exactly- Wait no!" The young company leader corrected himself immediately. No, this wasn't just pleasure he was seeking with you- but he also denied every single clue that he was into you, romantically. After all, he'd had his fair share of romantic involvements in the past; all pathetically killing themselves royally simply because there was never true love involved. It was either for benefit, for public image, or most of the time- for his money. It was never truly just about him.
Jungkook was simply a number, nothing more. In a way, his success was mostly just a curse for his soul; he was convinced by now that everyone just wanted something from him at this point, as pathetic as it sounded. He was always just the punchline of a joke, elderly woman seeing him as a piece of meat on a richly designed table ready to be consumed- just to be spit out as soon as he'd loose flavor. It was sad really, how much he hated trusting at this point.
"Look." Namjoon started, putting down his empty cup as he sniffled from the spicy meal he'd just consumed. "As far as I know, she'd from a regular background, right?" He asked, and Jungkook nodded, slurping some noodles without paying much attention. "How long has she been working for you at this point, two years? Three years?" The younger in question nodded at three, remembering the moment you'd stepped into his office for your interview, back then with a different haircut and color, and a bit more shy than you were now. You'd found friends in coworkers, when it came to gatherings and dinners you were always missing, however. He'd never seen you at any afterparty or bithday gathering for that matter as well. "She also didn't eye you up at all during these years, right?" He asked, and Jungkook got a bit more serious as that, because his friend was right. You surely looked interested in him, but you kept it charmingly subtle- it was more like a shy glance every now and then, never to linger uncomfortably. Just like a mouse showing itself to the cat every now and then to keep the chase going without any intention to.
"Oh, did you ever pay her for buying you a new suit by the way? The one she spilled her strawberry milk on?" Jimin asked with a laugh as Jungkook shook his head.
"She didn't want it." He said, and suddenly everyone got quiet.
"She what?" Yoongi asked. "Is she stupid?" He got out before Jungkook threw him a serious glance.
"Shut up." He said through gritted teeth, as Jimin laughed and the oldest in the round threw his hands up in mocking defense. "No but.. I offered several times, but she said it was her fault. She even got mad at me when I simply put the money on her paycheck- she practically demanded me to take it back." He explained, and Namjoon nodded.
"Probably because she'd feel bad." He answered. He knew you longest and most personally out of everyone in the current gathering; he'd been in the same class back in school for a few years. And you'd always been like that- you hated being paid back favours, because you didn't want to seem like you did them just to gain something afterwards. You kept people at a safe distance, never to have them cross that line, so you could always push them away without getting seriously hurt in the process. You'd also never been in a romantic relationship for long as far as he knew- only having had one scandal back in school, where the guy you'd lost your virginity to had publicly shamed you for being 'bad in bed'. It was a mess really, and Namjoon had felt bad back then, but there was no way you'd let anyone close to you afterwards. "Look." Namjoon started, looking at the youngest. "I'd say go for it. From what I know, she's a genuine person. I'm more concerned about her in this situation than you, if I'm being honest." He said, and Jungkook looked at him scandalized.
Yoongi chimed in. "You're known to fuck around. Don't just use her as a place to throw your half-assed cumshots into, that's what he wants to say." He replied, making Jimin scrunch up his nose in distaste.
Jungkook only continued to eat in silence. You maybe had the role of the mouse in this chase- but he was a tiger waiting to be taimed.
"What is this?" He asked, very unamused, and very much not pleased. It was understandable to a level- after three and a half years you'd just handed in your termination. What you did not understand however, was the amount of emotion you could spot swimming behind his eyes- he looked a bit like when he'd accidentally spilled tea over his workspace once, scared to death if that accident would mean the death of all his hard work of the day. You'd reassured him back then that everything had been saved on the main servers, so even if his laptop was to die, which it did not, everything would still be save. He could surely find a new secretary however- there was no use to make such a huge fuss over it.
"It's my termination sir. I'll be leaving at the end of this month." You answered, a bit unsure now on your spot in front of his desk, as he pushed the tip of his tongue against the inside of his cheek, a clear sign of irritation on his side.
"Thats in two weeks, Y/N." He stated, and you nodded. "As a reason you stated 'health issues'. Is there something I should be worried about?" He asked, and you swallowed, hard.
"Is it uhm.. do I need to answer-" You began, but he cut you off with a stern voice.
"You don't have to, but I'd have to decline the termination if I don't see the reasoning as fit to be taken seriously under such short notice." He began, putting down the papers as he suddenly looked at you more intensely. "We have clear rules here Y/N, I thought you knew them by now. Vacation requests three weeks prior, and terminations as well, except for important reasons." He said, and you looked down.
"I'll be having an operation that can't be pushed anymore soon sir, and I fear I won't be able to meet your standards afterwards. Which is why I'm terminating my contract." You stated, and you swore you could see a flash of concern in his gaze as he nodded.
"Is there anything I can help you with, in preparation for that?" He asked, now shifting his interest on his laptop screen again, typing something as you got confused.
"Pardon sir?" You asked, and he clicked a few times on his touchbad, seemingly searching for something before he turned his attention back onto you.
"Your severance pay will be quite high due to the quality and timespan you've worked here. I want to make sure however, that you're taken care of personally as well, if you'd let me." He said, in such a manner that you felt like he was actually growing a bit self-conscious.
"I uhm.. I will stay at the hospital for a while to recover, and afterwards I guess I'll be fine on my own. It's really fine sir, I don't uhm.. you don't need to do anything really." You said, before sending a smile his way, trying hard not to think of this chapter as finished. Your eyes already stung at the realization that you'd be leaving this comfortable environment soon. It may seemed childish for someone else, but you considered this place a second home- everything was familiar, every routine saved into the memory of your bones, it was your comfort to work here. "I uhm.. I really enjoyed working here." You finished, as Jungkook took a closer look at you.
He seemed to think about something, before he carefully stood up, slowly walking over towards you. For the first time he didn't look detached or as if he needed to do something; his gaze was soft and gentle, and it made it so much harder not to be a crybaby in this situation. You'd always thought that he merely saw you as a secretary, but this situation, as normal as it seemed, felt so intimate. "I'm glad." He simply said, slightly opening his arms to give you the option to take or not to take his invitation for a hug.
You would've been a fool not to. After all, Jungkook wasn't a physically affectionate person- he hated the act of merely shaking hands with a passion, he'd once told you.
"Will you tell me what exactly it is?" He asked, voice so much richer and deeper now that the side of your face was leaning against his chest, head growing dizzy from his presence. You could smell his faint cologne and a fabric softener similar to the one you used- again showing you that he preferred to wash his clothes himself rather than letting others do it for him. "You don't have to, but you have me worried." He simply said, now detaching himself from you hesitantly as he saw some coworkers outside the office staring. He didn't want to make you the talk of town now, only weeks before leaving. Rumors could be aggressive, after all.
"I uhm.." You started, sniffling a bit as you sat down in front of his workdesk. "I'll have a surgery on my knee, since I take a lot of medication for the pain now, and I kinda don't want that anymore so.." You explained to him, as his brows furrowed.
"Why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have let you work so hard if I'd known you were in pain." He said, almost with a whine, which made you smile a bit in return. You waved him off, however.
"No no, it's fine really. I keep stuff like that to myself anyways." You admitted, and he thought for a moment, before he decided, no.
He wouldn't keep you working just so he could benefit from seeing you. That would be selfish- and he didn't want to be like that. Not with you, at least. He screwed up his chance, and that was okay; he'd had all the time to ask you out, to get closer with you, after all. Maybe it was simply karma. "Take those two weeks off. Don't worry, it won't affect your payment in any form- you'll need to take your vacation time anyways, or I'll get a slap on my hands for not letting you have freetime." He simply said, as you nodded. "Dismissed." He said, in his usual tone.
This time, it made you smile, as you nodded, stood up and walked towards the door. "Y/N." He said from his desk, not looking up. "I really enjoyed having you here." He mumbled, and you grinned, nodding, before leaving the office- and the building alltogether.
"Still can't believe you haven't hired anyone else yet." Jimin accused,as he drank his soju across from Jungkook, who'd simply shrugged. It's been two months by now, and he still refused to let any secretary work as closely with him as you did before. He rather got up a bit earlier and got his morning coffee himself instead of telling anyone to do so; it was as if that was reserved to you. It wasn't the act of having you bring him his coffee like a personal assistand; it was more the fact that he got to see you first thing in the morning. In a weird way, he didn't want to see anyone so early apart form you- he was simply too grumpy for that. "What about Hannah?" He asked, and Jungkook shook his head. Hannah was a promising candidate for the role of a future girlfriend- he really liked her. But there was no romantic spark between the two, and when she'd looked at him almost as if he'd ate her dog when he'd told the waiter to split the bill of their shared dinner, he knew that it wouldn't work out. She'd been so sure that he would simply pay for everything that he had to pay the entire thing- because she didn't even carry her purse with her. "Another piranha, I see."
Namjoon came into the room, several take out boxes in hand. "What're you talking about?" He asked, and Jimin chuckled.
"Jungkookies nonexistent sex-life." He said, before getting hit with a spoon from the younger one.
"Oh, interesting actually-" He began, putting down the food before sitting down himself. "Just saw Y/N-" He started, but Jungkook, almost chomically, cut him off.
"Did she look okay? Was she alright?" He asked, and Namjoon laughed for a second before taking some chopsticks for himself, breaking them apart and making Jimin laugh when they broke the wrong way.
"She seemed okay. Walked without help, but seemed a bit wobbly still." He explained, and Jungkook nodded. "My dad said she's gonna be alright, but it's gonna take a while since she waited so long to get it done-" Suddenly, Jungkook coughed.
"Your DAD did the surgery on her?!" He yelled out, making his dog bark as if alerted, as Namjoon became wide-eyed.
"Yeah, I mean, didn't I tell you.?" He began, but Jungkook shook his head, still heavily irritated.
"No, you did not!" He began, before letting himself fall into the couch defeatedly, whining. "I could've sent her flowers or some other shit, now I fucked it up!" He exclaimed to no one in particular, his dog jumping onto his lap.
"And they say chivalry is dead." Jimin said, playfully wiggling his eyebrows as Namjoon shot him a look to shut him up.
"You can still do that though?" He asked, and Jungkook furrowed his brows.
"No, that's just.. weird. Like, imagine getting flowers from your boss MONTHS after you quit." He said, before huffing like a child. "I screwed it up, its fine." He mumbled, before Namjoon continued.
"I mean, she asked about you though.." He hummed, taking a bite of his food.
"She did what?!" Both Jimin and Jungkook asked in disbelief.
"She asked about you. How you were doing, you know, that stuff." He explained, before continuing. "Told her you fuck around, she left after that." He said, shrugging his shoulders as Jungkook yelled furiously.
"You did what?! Namjoon, what the fuck-" He started, almost tearing up before the elder one laughed. "Not funny." Jungkook commented, clearly unamused by the humor in Namjoons face.
"Sorry." He said, putting down his chopsticks. "No, but for real, she actually told me to tell you she didn't change her number or anything so.."
Jungkook looked at him quesitoningly. "So?" He asked, and Jimin groaned.
"What the fuck, is she supposed to lay on your doorstep with her legs spread out while telling you 'Oh hey come inside and make yourself at home' for you to get the message?" A grumpy Yoongi groaned out as he walked into the living room, greeting the dog. "She basically told Namjoon to tell you she wants to sit on your dick." He said, stealing a dumpling from Jimin as he took off his jacket.
"She did not-" Namjoon started, before turning to the youngest again. "But she basically did say you should message her."
"To make up a date to fuck each other!" Yoongi yelled from the kitchen. Jungkook groaned.
"I mean I do have her number.." He mumbled, and suddenly a hand was on his shoulder as the eldest came back, a glass of water in his hands.
"Then go get pussy." He said, and everyone laughed.
Everyone but the young man in question.
"You uh.. sorry its nothing special but you said you wanted something not fancy so.." He said, as he pulled out the chair as you sat down.
"No no, its fine. I like this." You answered, now a bit shy with him sitting in front of you- all casual and not at all in the regular environment you both met in. He wore a simple black button up, ripped jeans- clothes that were so.. regular, yet he made them look so expensive. Maybe it was how his body was proportioned, with long legs and a broad chest, or maybe it was simply the way he carried himself.
"You look really nice." He casually complimented, as you blushed a bit, unfamiliar with such compliments as he smiled at your reaction, licking his lips almost impishly.
He would've been a bit more shy if it wasn't for the several conversations over the phone you both have had in the past couple of days; your answers and innuendos making it clear that you were genuinely interested in him, on a higher level than just 'hit and run'. No, you'd asked about his dog when he'd sent you a picture of him, you'd wanted to know about his family, or what he did in his freetime- you both even played several rounds of overwatch together when you'd revealed to him that you play the game as well.
It made him feel confident.
Another reason he was so adamant on making sure his impression on you was the best was that you'd openly talked about your, admittedly shitty ex partners, giving him even more reason to treat you the best he could think of.
You felt a bit weird.
Not a bad weird, but a.. tingling weird. This kind of weird where you don't know where to put your hands because wherever you began to rest them your mind thought about if it looked weird. It made you feel like a kid waiting to finally be let loose on a playground. You felt so comfortable with him, that it was important for you to make a good impression on him. So when the waitress came back after you both ate a bite, you began to search for your wallet, as he smiled at you, his larger hand covering yours in a manner that told you he'd pay. "All on me." He simply said, as he payed, making you pout a bit.
Walking outside, he made sure that you were comfortable with him walking you home before walking side by side with you, never too close to not pressure you. After a moment, you began to speak. "I could've payed, you know-" You started, but he cut you off with a question.
"Why won't you call me by my name?" He asked, and you began to chew on your lip. There was no specific reason you could think of that would make sense to him. It just felt like you'd let him in if you were to say his name out loud. It was a taboo thing to call your superior by his first name, but that had been the past. Now it would mean that you were considering him your friend. Or maybe even.. more. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" He asked, and you shook your head immediately.
"No, its just.." You started, trying to think of something.
"Don't make something up now just for me. I promise I won't be offended; just be honest." He said, and you nodded.
"I'm not someone who, you know, lets people get close to me, normally." You explained, before you continued after he'd nodded, telling you wordlessly that he was following your words. "It just seems.. so intimate, if that makes sense?" Against what you'd expected however, he simply continued his gentle smile.
"That's okay. You don't have to love me right away." He offered, looking down at you with a smile. "Say it when you feel like it. We'll do whatever is comfortable with you." He offered, and you smiled.
"So you both did not, in fact, fuck each other." Jenny said, as she ate another spoonful of icecream.
"No, we did not." You said, and smiled a bit at the memory. Jenny had just gotten back from her business trip; a week full of torture as she'd called it. "We simply talked and he brought me home every day." You explained, and your friend fake-gagged playfully at that.
"Oh god, someone get me a grater for all that cheese!" She laughed, as she suddenly smiled a bit more seriously. "No but really, I'm happy. He seems nice." She said, and you nodded.
"He does."
"Do you treat everyone like me?" You'd asked one night as you shared takeout with Jungkook in his living room, having agreed to meet up at his place.
He shook his head. "Not to that extend, no. But I learned from my dad was common chivalry is- it's not that deep to be honest." He explained, as he continued eating. He looked so young like this; merely wearing a sweater and sweatpants combo, hair a bit unruled and piercings on full display. With all that business on his shoulders, one could easily forget that he was just a young man, even if he did turn 26 recently.
"Its not common, though." You commented, and he shrugged his shoulders, leaning back against the couch as he finished his meal.
"Do you want to take my bed or the couch?" He asked after a moment, after you'd finished your meal as well. You shrugged. "Then we'll sleep together." He playfully said, but got a bit shy after you'd simply nodded, not having noticed that he didn't truly mean his statement. No taking it back now though.
"Are you tired?" You asked, wondering if that was why he'd brought up the question. Jungkook was an honest guy, so he affirmed.
"A bit, honestly. Sorry." He said, but you shook your head, already picking up the empty containers and plastic bags to throw them away.
"It's fine." You simply said, as he nodded, his gaze following you for a moment before he opened the door to his backyard, ushering his dog to go out to finish his business before bedtime.
You knew you should feel at least a bit nervous, after all you'd be sharing a bed with him. But for some reason you weren't- even if something was to happen, you felt comfortable with him- enough to trust you at your most vulnerable state. At this point he'd already sneaked his way around your made up walls, way too close now to be let go off without pulling on your skin painfully at the same time. Hurting him would hurt you now- so you had simply accepted the fact that he was going to stay at your side for as long as he saw fit.
"Alright, bedtime mister." He said, leading the dog to its bed by the front door- a place his pet had chosen willingly, he once told you. "Goodnight." He mumbled, gently petting his companions head before he made his way inside his bedroom, where you followed. He closed the door quietly, turning on a small lamp on his bedside desk, before opening a window. "I like to sleep with the window open, hope you don't mind." He said, as you shook your head. You simply got into the bed after him, your way of trying to find out which side he preferred as you slipped under the covers, the smell of his by now familiar fabric softener, and distinctively his smell flooding your senses. His mattress was soft, way softer than yours at home- but it was probably worth several months worth of rent as well.
"I uh.." he suddenly said, low voice cutting through the silence after he'd turned off the lights, darkness swallowing the room fully. "I have a habit of, uhm.. undressing myself during the night so. Just to warn you." He said, before groaning a bit. "Oh god that came of kind of creepy, sorry-" But you simply laughed.
"It's okay. I hug things when I sleep, so I'll probably latch onto you during the night." You admitted, and he chuckled.
"Oh I don't mind that at all." He hummed, as you felt him turn over, probably to face you as your suspicions were confirmed when a finger almost shyly brushed over your bare arm. He was silently testing the waters, trying to find out if you were comfortable enough with him to let him go that far. To his surprise you reacted by scooting closer towards him, until your nose was close to his. He couldn't quite see you, only able to make out rough outlines as the moon wasn't shining at all outside his apartment. "Is that okay?" He asked, in a whisper, careful as if he didn't want to scare you away. He felt you nod as his hand went to lay down on your cheek, thumb finding your lower lip as he guided his onto yours, slow, as if he was only testing the waters yet.
Always so considerate.
You slowly deepened the kiss, a bit hesitant since it has been a while you'd ever kissed someone; but he took the lead after noticing you accepting his gesture, his tongue gently asking for entrance as you granted his wish, making him close his eyes as he lazily continued kissing you, his desire taking over.
Everything was slow, comfortable, and warm- the way he slowly moved to lean over you, the way his hands roamed over your body underneath your clothes. It was as if you both knew eachother already, as if you didn't need to hurry anything at all. And it was true.
He slowly undressed himself, before directing his attention towards you, helping you out of your clothes as well, careful to leave the covers over his body, as if to shield you from the chilly air coming inside from the opened window. He truly enjoyed every second, every inch of skin he laid bare of you, as his head dipped downwards, placing open mouthed kisses against your neck and collarbone as his hand gently ran over your chest, squeezing the soft flesh or a moment before his thumb grazed over the hardened nipple, making you squirm underneath him. You felt torn between a feeling of being worshipped almost, and the frustration of him going so slow. Every past sexual encounter had always been straight to the point- this was entirely new territory.
"We got time darling." He hummed suddenly amused as you began to squirm more underneath his touch. You felt his hard on against your inner thigh clear as day, yet he seemed to absolutely not notice it; his attention more so on you, as he suddenly moved underneath the covers, shaking his head a bit to get his long hair out of his eyes, piercings jingling brightly at his sudden movement before he dipped downwards, making you gasp as you felt his tongue on your center. He chuckled again as his hands held down your lower belly, keeping your hips down and legs open for him as he sucked and swallowed, making you whine at the feeling. This was the first time someone had ever gone down on you, and it made you feel absolutely incredible.
Jungkook moved again as you became close to your orgasm, hands fumbling around for a moment until he found in his drawer what he'd searched for; the crinkling sound of the foil package filling the room as you still breathed heavily. He rolled the condom over his length before he moved over you again, cooing at the cold feel of your damp skin, sweat making your body cool down rapidly. "Are you cold?" He asked, and you nodded, but held out your arms, desperate to have him close to you again. "Let me warm you up." He hummed lowly, pulling the covers over his back again before he led his cock into your core with the help of his hand, groaning at the feel of your warm walls welcoming him inside. He moved after a moment, kissing you again as if he needed to confirm that this was truly happening. "You feel like home darling." He whispered out of breath as he slowly moved a bit faster, your hands searching for his as he helped you find them, fingers intertwining as he felt his soul grow fond. He loved you, he truly did, and in that moment he realized it to the full extend. It was the same for you as he kissed your neck, hot breath against your skin making you feel protected and adored as he picked up his pace, thrusts becoming more erratic as he suddenly pushed himself inside you in one swift move, hand leaving yours to desperately move over your pearl, making your back arch off the mattress as you whined in pleasure, throwing him off the edge as well as he spilled inside the condom.
His forehead rested against your shoulder as he chuckled, slowly slipping out of you as you laughed along with him.
"I swear that was not my intention when I said we'd sleep together." He said, and you laughed a bit harder at that, kissing the side of his jaw affectionately as he kissed your neck. "I love you. I really do."
"That's okay." you said still a bit out of breath, and he wished you could've seen the bright smile he sported at your next words.
"I love you too, Jungkook."
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts smut#jungkook imagine#bts jungkook#bts#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts reactions
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8 for Malex? Thanks!
*hiding because this took an embarrassing amount of time I'm sorry*
tags: high school au, slight mental health stuff goin’ on, bed sharing
8. bedtime stories [ao3]
Alex never claimed to be subtle.
He watched Michael openly, his thumb between his teeth as he eyed the way he pulled his shirt over his head. He knew this was probably inappropriate. However, Michael was hot and had yet to tell him to stop staring. Sometimes it seemed like he deliberately did things to make Alex stare. So Alex kept on and hoped that, if he was only doing this to make fun of Alex, at least he got something nice to look at.
“Hey, Alex,” Michael called, tossing his sweaty shirt into his bag and grabbing a dry one, “Do you think your brother would mind if I stayed over tonight? I don’t feel like going home.”
Alex swallowed and sat up straight. He looked around at the other guys in the locker room. He was sure one of them would say something. Magically, they didn’t.
“Clay won’t care,” Alex said, trying to seem nonchalant. Michael closed his locker and looked at him with a massive grin as he pulled his shirt down. His hair was still damp with sweat and it stuck to his forehead. Both of those things together were too much for Alex’s sanity.
“Cool. Meet you after school at my truck?”
“Okay. Yeah.”
Michael leaned close into Alex’s face and gave a mocking, “Okay, yeah,” before he laughed and walked around Alex. He twisted on the bench and followed him with his eyes as he went to the other side of the locker room where his other friends were. They instantly started talking about the game next Friday and how they were playing Carlsbad and how their team’s cheerleaders were hot. Michael didn’t deny it and Alex tried not to feel weird about it.
Instead, he grabbed his back and quickly headed out of the locker room. He hated gym and had put it off until his senior year, but now he was stuck doing it with basically no one to talk to except sophomore loners who seemed content to fail the class. He felt that.
The only highlight of it was Michael Guerin who he got to watch work up a sweat for 45 minutes every single day of the week. He got to watch him play dodgeball with too much enthusiasm and run the mile at the fastest in the class and play put-out with his friends. Alex had, somehow, befriended him when they were freshmen and both the youngest in their math class, so they stuck together. Then sophomore year they had Spanish together, junior year they had chemistry, this year they had gym. It wasn’t much but it was enough to spark an unlikely class-only friendship that turned into a school-only friendship that turned into an actual one.
He was Alex’s favorite person in the world.
The next two classes passed by relatively quickly, solely relying on the fact that Alex wasn’t paying attention and instead doodling aimlessly in his notes. Science was boring, math was easy.
Alex let himself into Michael’s truck because he was a dumbass who never locked it and sat in the passenger seat. His notebook stayed in his lap and he kept shading in the boat he was working on as the parking lot filled with other people going to their cars and people going to their buses. Michael always talked to his fellow football players before he left considering they couldn’t leave until the buses did anyway, so Alex wasn’t in a rush.
When Michael did climb in, he raised his head to get a good look at him. Because he always wanted to get a good look at him. Today, just like most days, he looked gorgeous and lit up from the inside and he was already staring at Alex.
“What’cha drawing?” he asked, scooting to the middle to look at Alex’s book. He pressed up against his side and eyed it, nodding his head. “Nice. I’m gonna get one of those tattooed on me one day.”
“What? A boat?”
“No, one of your pieces,” Michael laughed, shaking his head as he moved back to the driver’s seat. He turned the ignition and Alex stared at the side of his face. “Whichever one you think I should. Think about it.”
And Alex would think about it. It wasn’t even the first time he thought about it. Michael had spoken of getting one of his drawings on him before and the thought was quite possibly the most erotic thing Alex could think of which was ridiculous. There was nothing sexy about that in reality. But… Michael shirtless and having something Alex created permanently on his skin was just so good.
He went back to the drawing before he could entertain putting his tongue on it.
Michael turned up the radio before backing out of his spot and then they were on their way to Alex’s house. He put his drawing down in favor of watching out the window as Michael badly sang along to Nirvana and Beck.
Junior year was the first time Michael had come over to his house and it had felt weird to acknowledge that the person he’d spoken to nearly every day for over two years knew approximately nothing about his home life. Alex had half-assed an explanation about how his mother left and his dad was in jail, so Alex only lived with his brothers. Michael hadn’t judged him, only loudly made it clear he thought Clay was badass for stepping up when he was freshly 18 to make sure the rest of them didn’t get too screwed.
It was a few more after school hangouts after that that Michael confided that he’d been in the foster care system since he was a baby and had been in a group home for the last few years. Teenage boys were a hard sell to foster parents, apparently.
Clay had no problem giving his number to the group home to call for check-ins whenever Michael started staying over.
“Please tell me he got spicy Doritos because I‒hell yeah,” Michael said, letting himself roam freely around the kitchen. He pulled the bag of spicy nacho Doritos labeled Michael out of the pantry and ripped them open, a grin on his face. Alex could watch it all day.
“Can I steal the bar mix that you haven’t touched in, like, a month?” Flint asked, his gaze stuck on his computer where he was doing homework. His eyebrows were pulled into an angry glare at it.
“Yeah, sure, if it’s still good,” Michael answered, falling onto the couch right beside Alex and holding out the bag to him. Alex shook his head. Michael often got food obsessions and would go a month where that was all he wanted, but during bad days it was the only thing he could eat that didn’t make him lose his appetite.
Despite the fact that he was all smiles, Alex had memorized the warning signs and knew he wouldn’t be eating dinner.
“Sweet,” Flint said, sliding to the pantry to grab the remnants of Michael’s last food obsession.
One of the warning signs that Michael wasn’t doing great, despite the fact that he’d asked to come over at all and hadn’t just invited himself, was the fact that he had taken any excuse all day to be tactile Alex. He’d spent all lunch and gym with him instead of with his football buddies, he’d wanted to sit closer in the truck, he immediately sat practically on top of him on the couch.
Later that night, he sat beside him at dinner and picked at it, only eating the crunchy asparagus and the edges of the tortilla part of his quesadilla. Alex ate what he didn’t.
Michael took a shower and wore Alex’s clothes and made himself at home in Alex’s bed, all cozy and on his phone with his thumb in his mouth when Alex got out of the shower. When they’d first started spending the night together, Michael slept on the couch or on the floor. One night they’d fallen asleep in Alex’s bed during a movie and now that’s where he went each night.
Alex didn’t mind.
He shut off the lights and jumped into bed, putting on Netflix on the TV and starting up where they’d left off in their third watch-through of The Good Place. Michael scooted closer until they were touching in some way, his eyes still partially on his phone and partially on the TV.
It should’ve bothered Alex. It should’ve felt like taunting. Occasionally he did feel the need to shake him and ask him if he really wasn’t seeing how much Alex was into him. Was the staring not enough? Was the way he got a bit dizzy whenever he realized Michael was beginning to smell like Alex’s shampoo not enough? Was Alex’s eyes tracing every bead of sweat that rolled across his face like he hadn’t had water in weeks not enough? Was every single one of Michael’s other friends mentioning that they acted “kinda gay” not enough?
But mostly Alex was fine with it. Michael was safe here and comfortable and Alex wasn’t going to ruin that by wanting something more. So he would keep his hands to himself. He wouldn’t be subtle, but he wouldn’t be overbearing. He would just be Alex and hope that was alright.
“Alex,” Michael whispered, moving until his head was on Alex’s shoulder. Alex hummed in response. “Can you tell me a bedtime story about your boat?”
Alex smiled and shifted, his fingers slipping into Michael’s hair. Michael tilted his head up until they locked eyes. They were so close, just like every time Michael requested a bedtime story, as if that was the only acceptable time to be less than an inch away from each other’s face. Alex very quietly thought that their entire friendship felt like one.
“Once upon a time, there was a very loud pirate captain,” Alex started, watching as Michael’s thumb slowly started gravitating towards his mouth again, “He was old and held very strict beliefs. If you disagreed, he’d throw you overboard.”
“What a dick.”
“Mm, yeah, very. Anyway, he was always angry and his crew were like ‘shit, what if he’s lonely’ and decided they needed to get him a friend.”
“Oh no, poor lonely pirate man,” Michael said around his thumb.
“Poor lonely pirate man indeed,” Alex agreed, nodding solemnly, “So they searched high and low for anyone to be his companion. Not someone on the crew, but someone who would be his equal and separate from his employees. It was a very complicated task. They would find people who seemed good, but then the pirate captain wouldn’t like them and kick them out. It happened so many times they almost gave up. But eventually, they found an astronaut who seemed like a good fit because he was very smart and very happy.”
Michael pulled his thumb from his mouth with a loud pop, “So they really searched high, huh?”
Alex huffed a laugh and nodded, combing back his hair. His heart thudded in his chest as he stared at him, at his interested and tired eyes. God, he was so into him. Every single bit of him. Even when he needed moments like these.
“Yeah, really high. And they brought him back to the boat to meet the captain and they really, really thought he would hate him. But you know what? He didn’t. They actually got on quite well. And the captain started becoming a lot less angry,” Alex said. Michael shifted, pressing closer.
“And did the astronaut change?”
“Mhm. He got to relax too. He didn’t feel like he had to be super smart and happy to make everyone else happy anymore, he could just be himself. He could even be sad sometimes and that was okay because he had someone who liked him no matter what,” Alex explained, “He even would stop at islands to get his favorite foods.”
“Were they just best friends or were they in love?” Michael asked. Alex swallowed carefully and scanned his eyes over his face, trying to gauge what would be a better answer.
“They started as just best friends,” Alex decided, “But they fell in love. They were both. Somewhere in between.”
“Somewhere in between?”
“Yeah, like, not quite just best friends and not quite together romantically. Something different. Something special,” Alex tried. Michael watched him closely. In the background, Eleanor watched herself fall in love with Chidi for one of the hundreds of times they fell in love and Alex tried not to be too poetic about it.
“Alex,” Michael said, his hand dropping between them, “Are we somewhere in between? It feels like we are”
The question was honestly innocent but Alex stopped breathing, not knowing how to answer. He had a football player cuddling up to him in his bed. He should say no. He should save his own ass. He should keep it to himself.
But Michael was comfortable enough to cuddle him, to be babied when he needed it, to be raw and open.
So why couldn’t Alex?
“Do you wanna be?” Alex asked. Michael blinked. “Or… like… do you wanna be somewhere… not in between?”
“Like, on the other side? The romantic side?” Michael clarified. Alex nodded slowly, unsure. “Does it mean I get goodnight kisses?”
Alex let out a slow breath and laughed cautiously, “If you want them.”
“I want them,” Michael said assuredly. Alex couldn’t fucking think straight and he was just smiling stupidly at him. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Goodnight kisses, right here,” Michael said, tapping his lips delicately.
“Right. Okay.”
Alex moved his head just a little to give him a soft kiss, barely lasting a few seconds. He didn’t want to be too presumptuous. And, still, it was probably the best kiss he’d ever had in his life. His heart was trying to escape his chest.
He was really doing this. This was really happening.
“Did they live happily ever after, Alex?” Michael asked against his lips. Alex breathed and nodded.
“Yeah. They did.”
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So I ran a poll on my twitter asking this: If the car crash at the end of season 1 never happened, and John never died, would he have killed Sam in season 4 once he started drinking demon blood? And the answer that won: Yes.
So, I decided to write a ficlet about it. Read under the cut.
You can also read on Ao3.
AU: John lives to see Sam drink demon blood and go “darkside.”
“This is what I warned you about, kid.” The gun in John’s shaking hands is cocked. Fully loaded. Safety off. Pointed at-
The plastic gas station bag Dean was holding drops onto the floor past the threshold of the cabin door, and one of the water bottles rolls under the worn, wood table.
“What the fuck,” he says. Not a question. Sam’s asleep. Dead asleep on top of the sheets, book open across his chest and one of his stupid health nut breakfast bars unwrapped next to his hand. “What are you doing. Where have you been?” he whispers, hand itching for his gun.
“I told you, Dean,” John says, serious as all hell, gritting his teeth, sweat dripping down his temple. “You knew, didn’t you?”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Dean insists, but it shivers down his spine, makes his arms go cold. Sam stirs in his sleep and Dean’s feet ache toward the open door. “Let’s just go outside for a minute, talk about it before Sammy wakes up and sees that piece pointed at him.”
John takes a minute, his shoulders dropping, a sigh pushed out of his chest, but he lowers the gun and clicks the safety on, stuffs it in the back of his pants. Jerks his head toward the door, c’mon, then.
Christo, Dean whispers when he closes the door behind them- but John doesn’t react.
“Dad, what the hell,” he shouts once they make their way around to the side of the cabin, leaves crunching under their boots. “Where the hell have you been for the last year? I’ve been looking, asking other hunters- how the fuck did you even find us out here?”
“One question at a time.” he presses the bridge of his nose between his fingers, breathing hard.
“I’ll ask as many questions as I want,” Dean pushes, stepping forward, anger blooming up in his belly suddenly. ��You show up out of nowhere when we haven’t seen you in over a year and you’re pointing a gun at my brother.”
John looks up at him. The circles under his eyes are dark and heavy- he looks different. “Your brother isn’t your brother, Dean. Not anymore.” He licks his lips, lowers his voice. “I heard things from other hunters. Disgusting things, evil things. And I thought- no.” He shakes his head, toes the dirt. “It can’t be. So I tracked you two down. Watched him. And I saw-”
He looks like he’s going to vomit, nostrils flaring, closing his eyes. “I saw what Sam did to that demon. Sucked it dry. I saw the blood on his face, Dean, he looked-” he pauses. Breathes and makes eye contact. “He’s not human anymore.”
“You’re wrong.” Dean shocks himself with how desperate his voice sounds. His hands tingle, his palms start to sweat- “I mean, you saw wrong. Sam would never-”
“Bullshit.” John cuts him off loud, and some visceral part of Dean flinches. “Don’t lie to me, Dean. You know. And I know that you know, so let’s skip that.”
Dean stills. Looks back and forth between his father’s eyes, pleading. But not denying. And then- hurt, face hardening. “So that’s why you came here? To waste your own son? And in his sleep, too, you don’t even have the sack to-”
“First of all, you don’t talk to me that way, I am your father.” He says it matter-of-fact, like it’s enough of an explanation. John gets in his space, toe-to-toe, middle finger pointed at his chest. “Get your head on straight. I told you two years ago what would happen if you didn’t control the situation and here we are with Sam chugging demon blood like it’s water.”
“I was dead.” Dean looks him right in the eyes, leaned up on his feet, eyes wide. “Not sure if you remember, but I was in hell. For months. And you let Sam walk. Knowing how broken he was, knowing he would have done anything-”
“You never should have made that deal, Dean. It was stupid and reckless and suicidal. But you made that choice. And Sam made his.”
Dean sits back on his heels, mouth tight. Shaking his head. “What was I supposed to do.” He searches John’s face. “Let Sam rot? You don’t understand. You don’t even know how much I couldn’t do that.”
John nods, solemn. “I get that, son. I do. But it would’ve been a helluva lot better than what I’m gonna have to do now.”
Flames lick Dean’s insides, his shoulders squaring up again. “You’re not gonna do shit. Look, dad, I’ve seen it too. I know it’s bad, but Sam, he-” he searches for the right words, but comes up blank. Huffs. “We’re gonna fix it. He’s gonna be okay.”
“It’s gone too far already,” John insists, almost shouting. “Sam’s gone. That kid you know, he’s so far off the reservation he’s hit the dead end, and there ain’t no turnarounds. You get that, right?”
“No, I actually don’t,” Dean spits, scrubbing his face, then slapping his hands down on his pockets. Shrugs. “He’s still Sam.”
John stops, then. Shakes his head a little, smiling, looks at his feet. “God,” he says. “Yeah.”
Dean furrows his eyebrows. “What?”
John shakes his head again. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger. You two-” he stops himself, like he doesn’t want to finish the sentence. He meets Dean’s eyes again. “Just let me handle this, kid. It’s not gonna be any easier for me, but we can’t let him hurt anyone.”
“Dad, why do you think we came all the way out to this bumfuck nowhere cabin?” Dean spreads his arms out. “There’s no one here for Sam to hurt. No blood for him to drink, no demons, no nothing.”
John pulls his gun from his pants. “You know, I heard other things from those hunters. Things about you and your brother that I don’t-” gun at his hip, he bites at his mouth, looks at the ground.
Dean swallows hard. Blood rushing all through his chest, climbing up his throat under his skin. “That’s not-”
“Don’t,” John says, final. “Just. Just don’t. I can’t.”
They both take an awkward pause. The knife in Dean’s jeans is burning a hole in his back pocket.
He nods his head toward John’s hip. “Put the gun away, dad. You’re not going to kill Sam, alright? We’ll figure this out.”
“I’ve got it figured out already. Stay out here, you don’t have to watch it happen. We’ll give him a hunter’s funeral-”
Dean brings his foot up and kicks the glock out of John’s hand, flicks his knife open. Jams it right up against John’s throat.
He takes a shaky breath. “I can’t let you do that,” he says, almost a whisper. He presses the blade flat, not trying to cut him- not yet. “Walk away.”
John’s face remains stone-serious, cold as hell. “I’m not gonna hurt you, son. You’re not the one who needs to be stopped.” He glances down at Dean’s arm, held steady at his neck. “So you go ahead and do what you need to do, but just know that you’re making the wrong choice letting evil run free.”
“Not everything is as black and white as you want it to be.” Dean swallows again, heart somewhere down in his belly. “Maybe- you know, maybe I used to think like that too. Good or bad. That black, dividing line between us and them.”
“This is as clear-cut as they come, Dean-”
“You’re wrong.” Tears creep up in Dean’s eyes, his nose burning, and he blinks them back, tries to fucking focus. “Sam is-” he tries to think of the right words. He’s never been good with words, with expression. That was always Sam’s wheelhouse.
He settles on: “Sam isn’t evil.” He focuses on the blade, not able to look John in the face for some reason. “The thing inside of him is evil. But he’s kind and smart and a helluva lot stronger than you or me. But I guess you never wanted to see that.”
John sighs. Doesn’t respond. Fear is catching in Dean’s throat, strumming across his spine.
“Is there any chance I can talk you out of this?” Dean’s lip quivers, tears stinging his eyes again.
John gives him a look that’s almost sympathetic. Then- understanding. Or acceptance. Dean’s not sure.
He tilts his head back a little. “I’m afraid not, kid.” He says it quietly. Soft. “I’m sorry.”
Dean nods. “Then I’m sorry, too.”
The blade cuts clean, sharp, but John still gurgles on his own blood, hitting his knees hard, leaves crunching under him- and the blood, God, there’s so much, spitting from his throat in rivers, and Dean steps back so it won’t splatter.
Fuck, Dean thinks. Fuck. John stops struggling, twitching after what feels like an hour but is really only seconds. And Dean falls to his knees, too, pukes right there in the grass, hands burning with how hard he grips the ground.
He sits there for a while. It’s so quiet. The air tastes like copper. The sun begins to set, heavy and warm over the forest around him.
And then he pushes himself up. Drags John by the boots as far as his legs will carry him- tomorrow, he’ll get a shovel. Do right by his old man.
Sam’s still asleep when he comes back in, turned over on his side with the book thrown across the floor. Dean toes his shoes off, lets his jacket hit the wood floor.
He tucks himself up behind Sam, nose pressed into his back, takes a huge breath. Tries to get his hands to quit shaking.
“Dean?” Sam tilts his head back a little, stretching his legs out. “You alright?” He slurs. “Didja go to the store?”
Dean nods, eyes wide open. He pulls away from Sam, then- lays on his back so Sam won’t think something’s up. “Yeah, Sammy, I did. Got that Campbell’s soup you like.”
“Nice,” Sam says, yawns. Dean’s chest feels like there’s a gaping hole, unfurling at the edges. “Sorry for falling asleep. You want me to go get some firewood for the-”
“No,” Dean says, a little too fast. Sam turns over, eyebrow raised. “I mean, uh- no. It’s fine. I’ll take care of it.” He smiles at him, the way he does when he’s about to say some stupid shit. “You need to catch up on your rest, princess, don’t let me stop you-”
Sam tries to whack him with his pillow, but Dean catches it before he can. “Dick,” Sam says.
Later, when Dean gets up to grab wood for the firepit so they can cook dinner, Sam says: “Hey.” He’s watching The Goonies on the shitty, box TV they managed to get working.
“Is for horses,” Dean retorts, easy, distracted with his boot laces.
Sam does that bitchy little sigh he does when he’s annoyed or trying to say something. “Seriously. Dean, I-”
Dean looks over at him.
“Thank you. For everything. That you do for me, I mean. For us.”
Dean raises his eyebrows. “Don’t get too mushy about it.”
When he gets outside, he walks faster and faster until he’s running, cold air biting the tips of his ears until he falls at the foot of the forest and heaves, nothing left to lose from his stomach.
#enjoy!! this took me about a day so please reblog if you like it!#supernatural#samdean#john winchester#spn au#spn ficlet#wincest#wincest ficlet
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Family Troubles
A/N: Here’s another one finally! (I finished it last night and thought I would be really busy today, BUT I’m free now so I thought it would be good to post it!) To the nonny who requested, I hope this is what you were looking for! Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about this. I’m not saying it’s bad, but I just, I don’t know. I say that about everything I write don’t I lmao. I don’t know if I built their relationship good enough. Please send feedback, comment, like, etc. I do hope you enjoy though! I love writing! It’s so fun! Thanks for the request!
ALSO, this contains another sensitive topic. Mental abuse is real! I’ve experienced it. If you ever find yourself being manipulated by someone that causes you to doubt yourself or anything of that nature, speak up! Mental health is just as important as physical health! Reach out and get the help you deserve because no one deserves to be manipulated into thinking you are worthless! All love!
John B x Reader, Outer Banks
Warnings: Mental Abuse
*This isn’t my gif. Credit goes to original owner*
The Pogues. A term Y/N found dear to her heart. Her best friends. Her biggest supporters. The family she was always looking for. Whenever she was with them, all of her troubles seemed to fade away. They could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.
And then there was John B. The best type of friend a girl could ask for. Y/N had known him longer than the two had known JJ. Her father and John B’s, before he went missing, were the best of friends automatically making their children become friends. Y/N had spent every waking moment with John B since she could remember.
As the two got older, there was a point when John B became more than a brother to Y/N. And at some point, John B realized Y/N was a pretty girl. But, as their group went from two to five, a certain rule popped up: no-Pogue-on-Pogue macking.
Y/N never really minded it. She was still one hundred percent convinced John B still saw her as his sister, and she refused to ruin their lifelong friendship over some silly crush.
Kie, JJ, and Pope saw right through the girl, on the other hand. They honestly didn’t care if Y/N and John B got together. It would even be a relief to them so they wouldn’t have to put up with the constant longing looks from the pair. Not to mention the subconscious touchy shit that makes JJ gag.
JJ would constantly bring it up to John B too. Yet, he would, as JJ would say, deny, deny, deny.
But, regardless of John B and Y/N’s feelings for one another, the Pogues were always having a good time.
Except when Y/N had to go home and face her real family.
She never knew why she went back. John B was living without his father and seemed to avoid DCS fairly well. Why couldn’t she?
Yet somehow, she’d always wind up back in her tiny house on the Cut.
It wasn’t that her home situation was horrible. It just wasn’t great either. After John B’s dad disappeared, Y/N’s father left her and her mother to fend for themselves. For awhile, Y/N and her mom wouldn’t even speak to each other. Y/N never knew why they didn’t speak, but then a week later, a stranger was caught leaving her house in the morning. After that, Y/N’s mother had finally started speaking to her again as more and more men would be caught leaving the house in the morning.
Sadly, Y/N’s mother had changed. She would lash out at Y/N, telling her how useless she was and how Y/N should be helping her poor mom make money so they could eat. Y/N would take in every word her mom would say and try to explain she was doing little things to help out. The jobs were sporadic but it was something.
Their arguments would usually result in Y/N storming out of the house, but then getting a call about thirty minutes later from her mom, saying how sorry she was for saying all those things. She’d go on and on about how Y/N was such a great daughter and how she loved her so much.
So, Y/N would always come home with the slightest hope that her mother was alright and meant what she said. But, the same thing would happen a few days later, and Y/N would find herself in tears as her mother screamed at her for being incompetent like her father.
John B had a faint idea that home life for Y/N wasn’t very good. He could read her like a book after all. He could tell something had happened when the crew would be hanging out and Y/N was oddly quiet, but whenever he asked, she would just brush it off. Even Kie, JJ, and Pope could tell when something was wrong, but instead of pushing her, they left Y/N alone. John B, however, thought she shouldn’t be left alone and felt as if she was battling with something mentally.
His suspicions were confirmed when he heard the little jabs her mother would give towards her daughter that Y/N didn’t even seem to notice.
John B had swung by Y/N’s place to pick her up on the way to one of Kie’s family Kook events. While he was following Y/N around her room getting her stuff together, her mom had come in. “Where is it you’re going this time?” Y/M/N asked. “An outdoor movie thing that Kie invited us to,” Y/N replied, shoving stuff in her bag.
“Total Kook stuff, Ms. Y/L/N,” John B added with a small smile. The woman just narrowed her eyes. John B dropped his gaze, slightly confused as to why Y/N’s mother was acting so weird. She had always been so kind and welcoming.
“When will you be home?” she asked.
“I don’t know, Mom. Late,” Y/N answered with an irritated ring.
Y/N’s mother scoffed, “Just like usual. While I’m stuck at home slaving away.”
John B saw Y/N roll her eyes before standing up straight and facing her mom. “What do you want me to say?” Y/N snapped. “That I should stay here and find someone else who will pay for sex?”
John B’s gaze shot to Y/N’s at her statement. He didn’t have the slightest idea as to what was going on.
“Save it, Y/N. I don’t want to hear it. Just go out with your stupid friends. They’re just as useless as you are,” her mother retorted. John B refused to look up at the arguing mother and daughter.
“Are you kidding me? You’ve known John B for his entire life. You, and I quote, ‘absolutely adore that kid’, and you’re going to act like you hate him!”
Y/N’s mother glared at her child and Y/N rolled her eyes.
“Whatever. Let’s go,” she said, grabbing John B’s hand and shoving past the woman blocking the door. John B heard Y/N’s mother let out a breath and follow them down the hall. Y/N marched straight to the van with John B trailing after her, still shocked at the scene that had just unfolded before his eyes.
As they were about to drive off, Y/N’s mother came outside and called in a kind voice, “Be safe, Y/N! I’m sorry!” John B noticed Y/N’s face contort in pain before she shot her mother a small smile.
As if a switch flipped on in John B’s head, he realized what was happening. And he didn’t like it one bit.
“So,” he started slowly and felt Y/N’s gaze on him, “You’re seriously not mad at her anymore?” “What?” Y/N asked. “Who says I was mad?”
John B really couldn’t really believe what he was hearing.
“You were just arguing with your mom,” John B replied.
“Oh, that. That wasn’t arguing. Just a normal day in the Y/L/N household,” Y/N let out a strained laugh. John B looked at the girl with concern swimming in his eyes. “Y/N,” he said softly, “Does your mom do this a lot?”
“What call me useless, incompetent, stupid, but then says she loves me? I mean I suppose,” she mumbled. John B’s jaw clenched. “That’s not right,” he said, not taking his eyes off the road. “She still loves me,” Y/N said defensively.
“She says she does, but--” John B started but was cut off.
“Just drop it okay?” Y/N snapped, “I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
John B glanced at Y/N and saw her looking out the window, signalling that this conversation was over. He didn’t like it, but he kept his mouth shut anyways.
Ever since that day, John B tried talking to his best friend and show her how abusive her mother really was. But, Y/N refused to listen to him. She didn’t want to hear it because she wanted to believe she still had her mom after her father left.
Until one day, Y/N finally heard all of John B’s concerns in her mind.
Y/N had just gotten back from a day out with the Pogues, and her mother had already brought a new guy home. The teenager walked in on her half naked mother and stranger on the couch. “Oh god!” Y/N shouted, covering her eyes.
“What the hell?” the guy shouted at her mom. “Who is this?”
Y/N’s mother glared at her daughter and gritted her teeth, “This is my daughter.”
“You never told me you had kids! Geeze how old are you?” the man said, shoving Y/M/N off of him and grabbing his clothes. “Wait, don’t!” Y/N’s mom called after the guy who was storming out.
Y/N still stood there in shock. She wasn’t prepared for the storm that was about to enter the home. As soon as her mother came back in, she started screaming.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Y/N’s mom shouted.
“I live here!” Y/N snapped back, her temper rising.
“You little brat! You are always coming around when you aren’t wanted!”
“Mom! How was I supposed to know you were having someone over?” Y/N said.
“Oh don’t play dumb,” her mother rolled her eyes, “You never approved of what I did. You’re just trying to sabotage me! All I’m doing is trying to help keep a roof of your head and food on the table! You don’t appreciate anything I do for you!”
Y/N was so confused. “You’re making no sense!” she screamed trying to hold back her tears of anger. “I appreciate everything you do! I was helping Heyward with grocery deliveries today! I was tipped big! I was trying to help!”
“You never do anything helpful! All you do is go out with your stupid little boyfriend and friends! You’re the most worthless person I have ever met!” her mom screamed.
With every insult she spat at her daughter, Y/N felt a knife twist in her heart, and John B’s words echo in her head. Your mom may not be physically abusing you but she still is abusing you. Y/N, you need to get out of there.
“God, you’re the worst daughter someone could have asked for! You worthless piece of shit! Are you listening to me?” Y/N’s mom screamed, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. Y/N shrunk back in fear. “I wish you were the one who left instead of your father,” Y/N’s mom hissed.
Y/N felt as though a boulder had crushed her heart. Tears flowed down her face as she shoved her mom off of her. Her mom’s face immediately fell as she realized what she said. “No, sweetie, I didn’t mean it,” her mom tried touching Y/N’s arm, but the girl jerked away.
Y/N had a look of horror written across her face. How could she do a complete 180? Y/N thought to herself.
“Y/N, baby. You know I didn’t mean it. I love you.”
“No you don’t,” Y/N cried, backing away from her mother. “You’re sick. I’m sorry your husband left you, but that’s no reason to take your pain out on your child. You’re supposed to protect me! I lost a father too! But you, you just act like a complete idiot!”
“No, sweetie--” Y/N’s mother started.
“I wish you were the one who left! Better you than Dad!”
And then Y/N ran.
She didn’t know where she’d go, but she knew she just needed to go anywhere but her home. Y/N let her legs carry her subconsciously and somehow wound up on the porch of the Chateau. Sobs racked her body as she collapsed on the ground.
John B opened the door expecting an animal or burglar but looked down to see a sobbing Y/N.
“Hey, hey, what happened?” John B said immediately, scoping her up in his arms, bringing her inside.
He went to set her down on the couch, but Y/N clung on to him and cried harder. John B sat down with her in his lap, a hand wrapped around her waist and head as he let her cry. John B knew what happened. He knew something like this was coming. Her mother must’ve said some awful thing and Y/N must’ve finally seen what was really going on.
“Shhh,” John B soothed as Y/N cried harder. “Whatever she said to you is a lie. You’re worth it. You’re worth something,” John B whispered in her ear. Y/N seemed to quiet a bit at the sound of his voice so John B continued.
“You’ve always been perfect, Y/N,” he said. John B didn’t really know where he was getting these words from. He never admitted his feelings for Y/N to JJ, but now, now he just knew he couldn’t deny it any longer. She needed to know that someone still loved her.
“You’re always putting everyone’s happiness first, so when she says you’re useless or incompetent, she’s wrong. You’re a selfless, beautiful girl.”
Y/N’s heart began pounding out of her chest as she listened to John B’s words.
“I know you don’t want to hear this,” John B continued, “but she doesn’t love you. She’s not your family anymore. You have other people who love you. JJ, Kie, Pope. And me.” Y/N had stopped crying at this point. Does he mean it more than a friend?
“I,” John B hesitated, “I love you. And I think everyone has known that except you.”
John B fell silent after that, holding his breath. He had no idea what Y/N would do. Y/N slowly lifted her head off of his chest and looked up at him. John B’s eyes were full of concern, but a little apprehension. He was waiting for her to say something.
Instead, she leaned up, pressing her lips to his. John B instantly kissed her back. The kiss was sweet and slow. Y/N felt a warmth spread throughout her body as his grip tightened around her frame. She finally felt at home. Never in a million years did she think she would be kissing the boy who put sand in her hair as little kids.
When they broke apart, Y/N’s mouth quirked up, “I love you too, John Booker Rutledge.” John B grinned and pulled her back in for another kiss. She moaned quietly as he bit down on her lip causing his hands to grip her waist a little tighter. Soon enough, Y/N found herself straddling John B.
Her hands found the bottom of his t-shirt and began tugging at it. However, he quickly grabbed her wrists to stop her. “Wait, wait,” he said, pulling away. Y/N pouted a bit. “We aren’t doing this right now.” “Why not?” Y/N whined a bit.
“You just ran away from home,” John B replied.
“So?”
“Y/N,” he said with a stern voice, “You need to tell me what happened. Now is not the night for us to be ignoring this and you know it.”
Y/N contemplated his words for a moment, but reluctantly agreed. They resituated themselves to where she was laying on his chest while his arm was around her waist again.
“Well,” Y/N started slowly, “I came home and found my mom with another man. The man flipped out cause I guess my mom lied about her age and about having kids. And then she proceeded to blow up at me. Kept telling me how I was trying to sabotage her work and how I was worthless. The usual nonsense you know.”
John B nodded in the dark and gave her a squeeze telling her to continue.
“And,” Y/N paused, “and then she said she wished it was me who left instead of Dad.”
John B’s heart sank. “But then,” Y/N continued, “It was like she flipped a switch. She claimed she didn’t mean it and that she loved me. I didn’t believe her this time so that’s when I ran.”
Y/N shifted so she could look at the boy. John B had a mixed look of anger and sadness on his face. “Y/N,” he started, “you’re not going back there.” And for once, Y/N listened to him. “Ok.” John B was slightly surprised, but mostly relieved she didn’t try to defend her mother.
Y/N laid back down and closed her eyes as John B started speaking again.
“You don’t know how much you are loved. Especially me, but the group. JJ would fall apart if you weren’t here, and Kie and Pope, you know how much they care about you. Don’t let anyone tell you you are nothing because you are far from it. I promise you. You are worth everything to me. Promise me you won’t ever doubt yourself,” John B said.
Y/N smiled in the darkness. “I promise, John B.” He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her even closer as she finally drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, the two were woken up by a very loud voice. “Well, well, well. What do we have here?” JJ smirked. Y/N curled into John B’s chest mumbling something about killing JJ for waking her up.
“Leave them be JJ,” Kie’s voice snapped softly. “Thanks Kie,” John B groaned, slinging his arm over his face to block out the sunlight.
“Let’s go, we’ll meet up later,” Kie said before John B heard the porch door open and close.
“Congrats man,” JJ added kindly before slipping outside after Kie. “I love you,” Y/N mumbled before her soft snores filled the room again. John B grinned like an idiot and whispered, “I love you too my sweet girl,” before he slipped back into a comfortable sleep.
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I hope you enjoyed! More fics coming soon! And feel free to send in requests! Xoxo
#outer banks imagines#john b imagine#john b x reader#outer banks#outer banks imagine#jj#pope#kiara#sarah cameron#rafe cameron#john b imagines#imagine#fandom imagine#obx#obx imagines#multifandom imagine#john b fic#john booker rutledge#chase stokes#madelyn cline#madison bailey#rudy pankow#johnathan davis
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Stupid For You (3) -Johnlock
← ←← MAIN MASTERLIST
←← PART ONE
← PART TWO
!¡Trigger Warning¡! DO NOT IGNORE!: mentions to drugs and addiction, alcohol use, vomiting, hints to declining/poor mental health.
John felt guilty as he stared into the ceiling. He always felt guilty lately. He wanted comfort. He wanted Sherlock again. Sherlock made him feel comfortable, most of the time.
Sherlock came into their bedroom and laid down next to John. John had that guilty feeling nagging in his stomach. He wanted normal. He wanted this all to go away.
"Rosie is asleep," Sherlock mumbled.
John turned to stare at the wall. It had the ugliest wallpaper that John had wanted to change for ages. Looking at the wallpaper almost made him forget until he felt Sherlock's arm over him, and then Sherlock's body. Was Sherlock cuddling him?
"Sherlock," John questioned,
"John." Sherlock sounded incredibly groggy.
"Are you cuddling me?",
"Do you mind?" John felt a heat in his cheeks. He couldn't be blushing. Maybe he was blushing.
"No." Sherlock wrapped his arms tighter around John and pulled him closer. John moved his arm to be over Sherlock's. Their fingers gently brushed together, but neither moved. John loved this moment. It felt right. He wanted this.
John had woken up without Sherlock. He felt cold. John couldn't deny it anymore. Even if he tried the thought would resurface. John loved Sherlock. He wanted to deny it. He wanted to deny it badly because Sherlock would never like him. He knew this would be one-sided, and it hurt, but he couldn't deny it anymore. His feelings existed and he had to accept them. He had to accept all of them.
John exited their bedroom to see Sherlock pulling apart their bookshelf for Jane Eyre while Rosie watched intently.
"What's Sherly doing?" She looked at Sherlock attentively.
"I'm not sure." John came up close to Sherlock and quietly mumbled, "what the fuck are you doing?",
"Jane Eyre. The objects and Jane Eyre. There were clues the objects and there has to be in this. By the way, the password on your computer needs to be stronger. Found it out very easily.",
"You looked on my computer?" John whispered aggressively.
"It was necessary for the case. I'm sure you'll forgive me." Sherlock was right, John would forgive him. Though at the moment he was incredibly annoyed.
"You went on to my computer without my permission and now you're tearing apart our bookshelf." John wasn't sure where his point was trying to go, but he was just angry. Angry at everything. "Remind me why we have seven copies of Jane Eyre spread across the bookshelf?",
"I've accumulated them. Mostly gag gifts from Mycroft." Sherlock pulled out one copy to shake it and have a paper fall on the floor. He picked it up and ran to his desk, placing it with the other papers.
"What's that?" Rosie asked,
"Important papers for daddy's work," Sherlock responded immediately. John was always shocked by how well Sherlock was becoming with Rosie. Rather than being extremely blunt, Sherlock had worked on dialling it down. John was also shocked that Sherlock considered himself Rosie's dad.
"Why don't you go play in your room for a bit, okay?" John added.
Rosie scurried into her room and John went over to Sherlock. He had felt this strange anger after he realized his interest in Sherlock. He was angry Sherlock didn't realize. He could read people so easily, so why didn't he realize? Why didn't he call John out? Did Sherlock already know and that's why he's always been distant? Does he hate John? John began reaching at possible scenarios without noticing the tears building in his eyes. He didn't cry, but then again, he's been doing things that he never expected to do a lot these past few years.
"It seems that they're another set of coordinates. I'm going to need your laptop to check where they are or just some form of access to google maps." John gritted his teeth together. Sherlock could read people, but it seems he forgot that emotions exist. Sometimes, John felt like he was talking to a brick wall. A brick wall that responds, but can't acknowledge.
"Are you oblivious or just extremely insensitive? Because I feel like it's the latter." John gripped the edges of the table as Sherlock gave him a strange glance.
"I'm not oblivious, though I've been told I'm insensitive," Sherlock responded nonchalantly. He responded in a way that made John feel like steam was coming out of his ears.
"People who tell you that are right. You are insensitive. How do you think I feel when you disappear? Or go off on a bender? There are times I worry if you're going to die! You don't realize how you're actions are going to affect people." Sherlock stared back at John.
"I understand you're angry.",
"That's all? No apology?" John didn't care if he was being rational. He knew he wasn't.
"I'm sorry, John." Sherlock seemed genuine, but at the same time, it seemed so false.
John couldn't take it. He needed a drink, which wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism, but it was the only thing he had unless he let down his pride and started seeing a therapist again. He grabbed his coat, and this time grabbed his wallet as well. John slammed the door, hoping Sherlock would maybe come after him, but he didn't.
John was sitting in a cab. The driver gave him strange looks every once in a while that was beginning to get to John. He felt trapped. He felt stupid as well. Going to a pub at barely eleven. John saw a bookstore approaching in the corner of his eye.
"Stop here,"
The cabbie pulled over to the side and John handed him a twenty.
John walked to the bookstore and noticed it was near the building covered in vines. The building John remembered clinging on to. John would not be doing that again.
A faint ring was heard as he entered the bookstore. It was relatively quaint and packed to the brim with novels. He saw a copy of Jane Eyre leaning off the shelf and thought of Sherlock. He felt guilt while looking at the book. He had treated Sherlock so terribly and left without considering how Sherlock may feel, but then John felt anger again. Sherlock didn't care how John felt, so why should John care how Sherlock felt. John didn't feel the buzzing in his pocket of Sherlock texting him frantically. It was, John? I'm sorry. Respond SH. repeating over again with slight variations every time.
John brushed his fingers over the books, and his mind still went to ones Sherlock would like. There was a book on unsolved criminal cases that John could see Sherlock flipping through. There was another book of violin compositions. John found these books a strange combination, but he didn't question it, assuming this was a second-hand book shop. He couldn't help himself as he pulled both books off the shelf and placed them into his hands. He checked the prices and felt relieved to see they were only a total of £25 together.
The cashier smiled at him, "Interesting combination.",
"For an interesting person," John responded. He felt the anger towards Sherlock lessen. Even if Sherlock did piss him off, he still cared about him.
"Mm, would you like a gift receipt with that?",
"No, thank you." John took the books in his hands, ignoring the extra 15 cents he could have spent on an easier carry.
John placed the books down on the ground and opened the flat. He hoped the books would make for an adequate apology.
"I texted you," Sherlock said as John entered.
"I didn't realize. I got you things." John placed the books on Sherlock's desk.
Sherlock looked at the titles of them and smiled. "Thank you." He muttered.
It seemed so unnatural for Sherlock to thankful for something, but it made John feel giddy.
"I asked Mrs. Hudson to watch Rosie. The coordinates lead to a park in central London." Sherlock grabbed his coat off the coat rack and his hat. The paparazzi had calmed down a little, but Sherlock still insisted on bringing his hat places. "Mrs. Hudson should be here," Sherlock placed his cap on his head, "now."
Mrs. Hudson smiled at them as she walked into the flat. "On a date?",
"No, simply a case." Sherlock grabbed John's coat and threw it at him. John barely caught it.
"Well, have fun boys." Mrs. Hudson called from the flat as they left.
John's hand rested near Sherlock's in the cab. Sherlock moved his hand slightly so it rested on John's. John felt his heart beat out of his chest. Sherlock meant it in a friendly way, but John couldn't stop thinking about what this meant. He felt the butterflies again, and heat on his face.
Sherlock didn't move his hand, nor did John. They sat without admitting the hand holding. They had done it before, but this was different. As the last time they did it they were also in handcuffs. Or maybe it wasn't different and John was just reaching.
John was just as close to Sherlock on a train. Their hands touching again. John leaned on to Sherlock, testing the waters. Sherlock moved his hand to put his arm over John and John felt like he did in the cab. He felt like he had just had his first kiss all over again. John wasn't one for PDA, but he could ignore it for this. This was his one exception.
John knew they wouldn't talk about this once they had gotten to the park. They would never talk about this. It was like the cuddling or that thing that one time. John hoped they didn't talk about this. He'd end up admitting things he wanted to keep secret. He'd spill his feelings like one would with a glass of wine then they're a little too tipsy.
Sherlock looked at down at John and moved on to looking at his lips. It seemed as if Sherlock was studying them. He studied the soft curves, and John thought Sherlock might kiss him right there on the train. Sherlock glanced away though. He looked at the posters and people. Almost like he was trying to ignore John. John slumped down and Sherlock lowered his arm to catch John. John felt strange. Sherlock was being strange, which was odd. Sherlock wasn't usually one to be like this, but there were times when Sherlock would spiral. He would spiral off into a bender, that would cause John to panic because he knew one day it would kill him. He didn't want to have one day where he finds Sherlock dead with a needle in his arm. It terrified him. His terror always turned into anger. He tried to control it, but he wanted to scream at Sherlock when he does things like that. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he'll yell until his voice is hoarse, but it doesn't make him feel any better and it doesn't fix things. This moment on the train made all those bad moments so prominent. Instead of John's brain going to Sherlock doesn't like him, it went to Sherlock deserves better. He didn't want to think about this, especially not like this, but he couldn't stop himself. His brain went into a spiral. It was an uncontrollable waterfall of negative thoughts until the train came to a stop.
The park had lush green grass and multiple playsets. It didn't seem like the place to meet up with someone shady and who knew if they were even there? Rather than questioning Sherlock's motives to come here at this time, he followed him to a secluded area.
There was a man in a black coat standing there with his back facing towards them.
"Brother, dear." Mycroft spun around.
Sherlock had a look of complete confusion on his face.
"I expected you." He approached them, "Now, I'd assume you'd have figured it was me and not wasted your time to come here, but I was wrong. You were always the slow one, so I shouldn't have expected much." ,
"Why are you here?" Sherlock had an angry edge to his voice.
"You seemed quite bored in that little flat of yours, so I set up a fake case.",
"How did you manage to get things in our flat?" John asked,
"Well, for one, giving little gifts is an easy way to infiltrate into your flat, and then I just placed all the clues. By the way John, you should use a stronger password."
"So you placed things in our flat without permission and managed to have us not notice until the woman came?" Sherlock smiled, "Quite genius, I have to say.",
"Genius? Sherlock, he went through my computer!" John glared at Mycroft.
"You have some quite interesting files." John's eyes went wide. "Work is also a quite obvious porn file name, so I'd recommend changing that," Mycroft added. John felt a little calmer knowing Mycroft hadn't found the file on Johnlock articles.
Sherlock laughed and looked down at John. John felt small under Sherlock's stare. Sherlock glanced at John's lips again, and Mycroft coughed.
"I'd rather not see what you do in private, please take the PDA somewhere else.",
"There's nothing going on between us," John responded automatically. Sherlock shook his head in agreement.
"Nothing at all," Sherlock said.
Mycroft smiled at them, "of course."
There was a heavy tension between them as they left the park. John wanted to say something, but all he would say would raise the tension.
They both walked next to each other and John accepted Sherlock not flagging down a cab. There was a heavy silence that said everything.
"Sorry about Mycroft. He can be a little much sometimes.",
"For someone who's supposed to be a genius you're incredibly stupid." John covered his mouth in a panic. Why did he say that? He wanted to take back the words. Fall back in time and disappear.
"What?"
There was no going back. John was all in. He could either make something up or admit. John needed to admit things. The weight was taking up his life. He wanted to admit things, but he needed a better time.
"We should go to that restaurant." John pointed down the street to a random building.
"That's a bookstore, John." Sherlock deadpanned,
"Let's find a restaurant." John walked down the block looking at names of stores until he found a small cafe. Amour Cafe was printed in bold letters on a wooden sign. John brought Sherlock into the cafe. The interior had plush leather booths and small tables. The cash had food items on the shelf. Each one with a price John couldn't read out underneath.
They walked up to the cash and a person with a friendly smile greeted them. "Welcome to Amour Cafe, what can I get 'ya?",
John looked over the options, but Sherlock spoke before him. "We'll have two teas. Room at the top for milk.",
"I'll get right on that, sir. Your order number is 12."
Sherlock brought John to one of the booths and patted the spot next to him.
"Why did you order for me?",
"I know what you usually want." Sherlock looked at the table. "They have a very interesting type of wood. It seems that multiple people have sat here and some even carved in their initials. Do you see it?",
"Sherlock," John hissed, "why are you acting like this?",
"Acting like what?" Sherlock continued to pick at the table.
"Like something is wrong.",
"Mycroft can be a bit much." Sherlock tried to seem calm, but there was a bitter tone in his voice. "Sometimes he knows too much."
John looked at Sherlock. Sherlock returned the look and his gaze went down to John's lips again. John wanted to shy away, but he didn't. He kept his eyes locked with Sherlock as if they were in some strange staring contest. A staring contest where you were able to cut the tension with a knife. Sherlock leaned down at went to cup John's face but a bell ringing made Sherlock jump back.
"Number 11." The person at the counter called.
Sherlock and John watched as two people went up, their hands interlocked. They looked so happy. Sherlock glanced back at John and quickly looked away. John wanted that. He wanted it to be like that with Sherlock. He couldn't have that, though. Sherlock didn't like him. Earlier was just John's brain. He was thinking about it so he imagined it was real. Sherlock wouldn't kiss John.
John's tea was subpar, but he couldn't blame the cafe. He felt tense and anxious next to Sherlock. He wanted something to happen, but he didn't. The feeling wasn't a calm before the storm, it was more the opposite. These feelings were a storm without calm. It was the bottom of the ocean. Mostly unexplored, and confusing. Oddly, this was the most human John had seen Sherlock. He could read Sherlock this time. Sherlock was uncomfortable. He looked lost.
Sherlock turned abruptly down an alley. John wondered if this was where Sherlock was going to end up murdering him. Instead, Sherlock grabbed John's hand and pulled him further down the alley. John was shocked at the touch but accepted it nonetheless.
At the other end of the alley were rows of shops and a smaller park. Sherlock led John to the park, which was rather secluded.
Sherlock didn't let go of John as he led him through the park. John started to dislike this layout. There was a park just through that alley, yet they had to build another one. John couldn't hate this park, though, so he directed his hate towards the other park. This park was gentle. It called John, telling him it would be okay, whereas the other park was pushing John, telling him he needed to grow up. The other park also had Mycroft Holmes.
Sherlock seemed to not know where they were going, but he pulled John to a tree and stopped.
"What did you mean earlier?" Sherlock questioned,
"Well, I, uhm, Sherlock," John fumbled over his words while Sherlock watched intently. Sherlock tried to figure John out. Sherlock studied John again. This time there was realization in Sherlock's eyes. The realization became confusion and the cycle started over again. John wanted to show Sherlock. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to get what he meant out somehow. John knew he loved Sherlock. There. He had admitted it. He loved Sherlock. He wanted Sherlock. He was infatuated. Stupid, even.
John couldn't take this anymore. He looked at Sherlock, starting the staring game again. This time, John focused on Sherlock's lips more than his eyes. He wanted to do something. He wanted to make the move. He feared rejection. He feared what Sherlock would say or do.
The tree was a weeping willow. It had gorgeous long branches that nearly touched the ground, though it had small openings, most likely from people entering the small enclosure underneath. The tree had an aura of comfort. It didn't need explanation; it was just there. It existed without explanation.
They were still holding hands. Sherlock glanced back at John's lips and kept his gaze there. John looked back into Sherlock's eyes. Sherlock had these beautiful brown eyes that had so much meaning. Sherlock was beautiful as a whole. He was beautiful and confusing. He was a person who was hard to like, but John managed to fall for him. John Watson, who told himself he strictly liked women, fell for a man who was the hardest to fall for. He had fallen hard. He let go of Sherlock's hand and reached up. He brushed Sherlock's jaw with his hands and pulled him down. Sherlock placed his hands on John's waist as they kissed. The butterflies were there again, but this time John didn't mind. This felt right to him. He felt confirmed. Sherlock pulled John closer and put more pressure into the kiss. The kiss was like the tree; it existed. Rather than existing without needed explanation, it existed as an explanation. Sherlock had gotten the answer to his question. Because you haven't realized I'm stupid for you.
John sat at his computer with Sherlock working behind him. The blog post for this case would be interesting, to say the least. John began typing and deleting. It repeated until he had found what he was looking for.
THE FAKE WOMAN This case that was incredibly fascinating, turned out fake. A setup. Not to say it wasn't interesting. This case was revealing. It was naked. My boyfriend, Sherlock Holmes, had stayed focused on this case for days, even when it seemed nothing was to come of it.
John stared at the words written down with a smile. Boyfriend. His boyfriend, Sherlock Holmes.
TAG LIST: @johnlocktrashsblog @ephemeraljimin @artefo @love-j0y
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Who Woulda Thought? - JJ Maybank
gif by @toesure
requested by @jailcalledlife
wc; idk a lot
request: Hi! I have an idea for a one shot or story, where a kook reader or character invites JJ to a family weekend or something because they don’t like her kook boyfriend and she thinks if they see JJ they’ll realize how her boyfriend is better for their lifestyle. But they all end up loving JJ and the reader ends up falling for him. And maybe the kook boyfriend could show up and show his true colors of him being a dick. Or her family members can say things like ‘oh we’ve never seen _ so happy’
⚠️ Warnings ⚠️ : angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of !depressive episodes!, !self harm!, !cheating!, and nothing else more than what’s mentioned in the show.
A/N: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO SO LONG. anyways, i love your requests! i’m super excited to write this omggg. if you want me to write for anybody else, let me know! i feel like i’m not giving you guys character diversity and it’s making me self conciousss. also, i’m not in any way romanticizing depression. if you’re suffering with mental health issues, i will make a separate post for hotlines and please look at therapists for your area! finally, i listened to this spotify playlist while writing, check it out!
———————————————————————
“I just don’t understand why you don’t like him!” You were furious at your parents. Your boyfriend of 3 months, Alex, had just met your parents to see if he could go on a family trip with you and let’s just say it didn’t go over well. “He seems suspicious honey! He seems like he’s hiding something and I just don’t trust him! He can’t come!” Your mom said, defensively. “You don’t know him like I do! UGH! This isn’t fair!” You stormed of to your room and slammed the door.
You pressed your back to the wall and sunk down to the floor. As you were fuming and contemplating, a sudden strike of genius hit you. If they don’t like your boyfriend now, just find someone worse to bring.
You quickly pulled out a notebook from your drawer and started writing the necessities of this terrible boyfriend.
A troublemaker. Preferably a criminal record.
A player. He’s gotta have a body count higher than 10, it will raise suspicions.
A heart breaker. Self-explanatory.
Drinks and smokes. Totally illegal.
Then, it hit you. There was one boy who perfectly fit your description: JJ Maybank. But how would you convince him?
Once you were positive your parents were asleep, you snuck off to the safe and pulled $2500 cash from it. Considering you were the wealthiest family on the island, it wasn’t noticeable. You threw on a coat and some boots and trudged out the door to where you knew he’d be.
You knocked on the door to the Chateau, hoping they weren’t asleep. A tall brunette that you’d come to know as John B. opened the door. “Can I help you?” He asked. “Is JJ busy?” You asked, half expecting him to be in the middle of a hook up. “Nah, he’s right in here. Come on in.” John B. opened the door slightly more so you could come in.
“Yo JJ! Someone’s here for you!” John B. yelled. “Tell them I’m not home!” You heard from a couple of rooms away. “A little too late for that, buddy!” You yelled and he instantly peeked around the corner. And there you stood. His crush since the 4th grade when you beat up Rafe Cameron because he was making fun of him. Not that you remembered. He came up to you and John B. left to give you a little privacy.
“What’s up, Y/N?” He asked nonchalantly like his heart wasn’t racing. You guys were pretty close friends but you barely got to see each other because of the difference in social and financial class. You couldn’t deny that you had a crush on him, but you knew it would never go anywhere. How could it? He was JJ Maybank, the lady killer, and you were just... Y/N.
“So, basically my parents hate my boyfriend and I need to use you as a fake so they’ll realize he’s not that bad compared to you.” You said. “Thanks for the compliment.” He said sarcastically. “Anyways, what’s in it for me?” You held up the wad of cash. His eyes went wide. “$2500 and a free trip. You in?” You smiled. “Hell yeah, let’s do this shit.” He said and laughed, still shocked at the amount of money you had. You held the money out to him and he grabbed it. “Thank you so much, you don’t know how much I needed this right now.” JJ said. You felt oddly happy for the blonde boy in front of you. “Alright, Meet me at 2 pm sharp with your stuff packed for 2 days.” You said. “Roger that!” He said with a salute and a smirk. You tried to hide the blush that rose to your cheeks. Maybe a week with JJ Maybank wouldn’t be too bad...
***
JJ got to your home at 2 pm with his bag packed, as promised. You introduced JJ to your parents and your father asked to have a chat with him. Of course, he knew JJ. He loved JJ, he was reliable with work and always kind towards their family. He just wanted to make sure he could take care of his daughter. “Take a seat.” JJ sat down on the couch next to your dad. “So first off, do you love my daughter?” he asked. “So much, sir. She’s perfect.” JJ said and surprisingly, he really meant it. “She is, isn’t she? What are your intentions with my daughter?” He continued. “I want her to feel loved and supported. I’ll do anything to make her happy.” Again, 100% true. “And if you break her heart...” Your dad started but JJ cut him off. “Sir, if I break her heart, you have my full permission to use a chainsaw to cut my limbs off.” Your father laughed and shook his hand. “I like you. I think you’ll be good for Y/N.” “I sure hope so.”
“He’s coming with us!” Your dad said, patting JJ’s back and heading to the car. JJ pulled you aside. “So how will we make this convincing? I promise I won’t make you do anything you aren’t comfortable doing.” JJ said, obviously flustered. “Relax, Maybank. I’ll lead so you won’t feel nervous about trying something new. Got it?” You could tell he was very nervous about this trip and you wanted this to be as comfortable for him as possible. “Gotcha.” You walked back to the car and got in.
It was an 8 hour drive from the Outer Banks to New York. Towards the end of the car ride, you fell asleep, using JJ’s lap as a pillow. He played with your hair as he admired you. “She’s so gorgeous.” He said under his breath. “Awe, aren’t you two the sweetest little things!” Your mom said and JJ blushed. “Yeah, you could say that.” He just continued looking at you with all the love in the world, even if it wasn’t returned. He just wanted to make you feel loved.
When you got to New York, it was around 10 pm. You were still tired from pulling an all-nighter the night before, so JJ gave you a piggyback ride to the hotel. He had never been to the city before so it was all very new to him. The billboards in Time Square, the street food everywhere, the gigantic buildings, it was astonishing to him. But as he felt your warm arms around his neck and you felt his calloused hands on your thighs, the world revolved around the two of you. Time felt slower. You forgot about Alex for the longest time, that was until he called you in the middle of the night and you went out into the hallway to answer.
“Really?! That Pogue over me? Are you SERIOUS right now, Y/N?!” Alex was screaming at you through the phone and you were sure that you had woken a couple rooms. “No! It’s not like that I-” He cut you off. “Don’t even deny it, you slut. We’re done. Now, I don’t have to feel guilty about sleeping with your best friend. Have fun with your new boyfriend.” He ended the call, leaving you silently sobbing in the middle of the hallway.
You suddenly heard a voice. “What’s all that noise abou- hey, hey, hey! What’s wrong, Y/N?” His voice was laced with concern and you stood up and hugged him tightly. He hugged back. “Hey, what’s up? What happened?” He said softly. You took a deep breath in. “A-Alex cheated o-on me and then broke up with m-me.” You said between sobs and he hugged you closer. “I’ll kill him, I swear to god.” He said between gritted teeth. Your parents luckily hadn’t woken up, they were in a different room.
“No, no. Can we just go to bed?” You looked up at him and his eyes softened seeing you that vulnerable. “Yeah, yeah. Come on.” He said delicately, afraid if he said it any louder, you’d break.
You guys went into the room. “Here, you can have the bed and I’ll sleep on the chair over here.” He said. “No, just sleep in the bed.” You said. “No, I’m not making you sleep on the chair.” “I was suggesting more like we just share the bed and nobody sleeps on the chair. Unless that makes you uncomfortable..” You rushed in at the end. “As long as you’re okay with it.” He said. He got in right next to you. You hesitantly inched closer. He instinctively pulled an arm around your waist and pulled you close to him so your head laid on his chest. His raspy voice spoke up. “Goodnight, Y/N.” he said quietly. “Goodnight, JJ.”
***
The next morning, you woke up next to JJ. Talk about a blessing in disguise. You looked up at him, but he was already looking down at you. His blond hair fell messily over his sun-kissed skin. He looked absolutely gorgeous. “Morning, sunshine.” He said softly. You got up and opened the window, making JJ throw his arm over his eyes. “Too bright! Too bright!” He exclaimed and you laughed at his foolishness. You looked out the window again. “Woah.” You said, admiring the view. JJ stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle. “I’ll say,”JJ added. But he wasn’t looking outside, he was looking at you.
“Awe, you two are so cute.” Your parents stood in the door way, and your mom held a hand to her heart, smiling. “Hi, mom! How’d you sleep?” You and JJ turned and JJ put his head where your neck met your collarbone. You nuzzled into his touch. “I slept well, and I can see you guys woke up on the right side of the bed!” Your mom giggled “Well, you definitely aren’t wrong there.” JJ said and you blushed. “Well be ready in 2 hours, we’ve got plans today!” Your mom walked out and you got ready for a shower.
JJ got ready and flopped on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t stop thinking about this morning. Those tiny little intimate moments meant a lot to him. He made the decision that he’d make a move soon. Maybe even today.
Throwing on a cropped tee, some high-waisted jean shorts, and some vans, you walked out to see JJ ready to go, lying on the bed. “Something on your mind?” you asked, sitting at the end of the bed, next to his stretched out form. “A little, but it’s chill.” JJ said, sitting up so he was next to you, shoulders touching. “Well, what’s up? You helped me last night, my turn to help you out.” You said. “I don’t know, I just kinda have a huge crush on this one girl.” JJ said, completely in love.
You felt your heart sink into your stomach. You thought that you two had something. Something that made you blush when his fingers traced your skin, something that made you crave his attention. Guess he didn’t feel the same. Nonetheless he was still your friend, so you would do anything to help him out. “Wanna talk about her?” You asked as casually as you could, trying not to show your hurt. “She’s gorgeous. So sweet and caring, always willing to help others out. Not only is she beautiful, she’s also hot as hell. I mean, damn, she is smokin’.” JJ said. “What else?” You continued. “You just don’t get it, do you?” JJ stood up, chuckling. You stood up next to him, confused.
“I don’t know what you mean-” You were cut off by JJ’s lips on yours. You sank into the kiss, throwing your arms around his neck and his falling to your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. The kiss was soft and gentle, yet full of energy and love you held for each other. You only pulled away once you needed air. You nuzzled your face into his neck and he put his chin on the top of your head. Once you caught your breath, you realized what just happened.
He shivered as your breath tickled his neck. “You’re adorable, you know that?” He said and you giggled. “I guess you don’t have to pretend in front of your parents anymore, huh?” You looked up at him. “I guess that could go for both of us, huh?” You said. “Sweetheart, I was never pretending.” He kissed you, this time better than the first. He pulled away and said “We have some time to spare before we leave, huh? Wanna watch a movie or something?” You giggled and kissed him for the third time. God, you could get used to this.
“You guys ready?” Your mom opened the door to find you asleep and JJ holding you, still awake. “She is, I just have to wake her up.” JJ said, still looking at you. “Okay, we have time so don’t feel the need to rush.” your mom said. She loved how JJ treated you. She knew he really loved you. Her mind wandered to the night she knew she wanted you two to get together.
You had fallen into a depressive episode. You were asleep in your room and your mom was sitting at the kitchen table. She was exhausted. She wanted to help you, but nothing worked. She missed you, wanted her bubbly daughter back. So she called the only person she hoped could help you. The phone rang twice before he picked up. “Good evening Mrs. Y/L/N, is everything okay?” JJ’s voice carried through the phone. “Hey JJ, I have a favor to ask. I know you and Y/N aren’t really friends, but she really needs your help right now. I don’t know how tell you, how early can you get here?” Your mom pleaded through the phone. “I’ll be there in 5.”
JJ sped to your house. He’d never admit it, but he cared about you a lot and had definitely developed a crush on you after working for your dad for so long. Of course, your mother knew this. After an encounter with his father, he’d always come to your mother. He didn’t know why he trusted her so much, but he felt like his secrets were safe with her. And they were, not even you or your father heard of his visits.
He knocked on the door and your mom answered merely seconds later. “Is she okay? She’s not hurt, is she?” JJ asked frantically. “Well, not physically I hope. She’s having an episode, it’s really bad JJ.” Your mother said, holding back tears. He wrapped her in a comforting hug. After a moment, she pulled away and pointed towards your room.
JJ quietly walked towards your room and gently knocked on the door. No answer. He quietly walked in. You weren’t there. He heard something clink lightly on the floor. “Y/N, are you in there? It’s JJ.” He heard a muffled sob and immediately burst in, not expecting what he was about to see. You were on the floor, blood trickling down your arm and a razor in your hand.
You hadn’t noticed him moving in front of you, too busy focusing on the slits in your arm. He firmly but carefully held your arm.“I’m sorry, I’m not gonna let you do that.” he grabbed the razor and threw it in the trash. You tried to reach for it, but JJ cupped your cheeks with his calloused hands and looked deeply into your eyes. “I’m so sorry you think of yourself this way. I want to help, what can I do?” He asked, wiping your tears as he went. You stayed quiet. “How many hours has it been since you’ve eaten?” He asked softly. You looked so delicate, he was afraid you’d break if he spoke any louder.
He gestured for you to hold a number on your hands. You raised all 10 fingers and then 2, signaling 12 hours. “Okay, I’m gonna get you something to eat. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you down? I’m not comfortable leaving you here alone.” You held up your arms and he situated you so you were on his back, piggyback style. He was gentle and caring with you, making sure you were comfortable. He had sent your mother to bed, knowing she was tired and assured her he’d take care of you. He set you down on a stool and started looking at food options. “Okay. So our options right now are cereal, pizza, grilled cheese, or soup. What’re you feeling?” He looked to you. “Soup, please.” You looked up at JJ with weak eyes and it took everything in him to not break and pull you into his arms and never let go. No, he had to be strong for you.
He told you to go sit down in the living room and he’d be there in a minute. He pulled the can of chicken soup off the shelf and poured it in the pot. He then got a blanket, some movies, and some pretzels and shoved those in a backpack so he didn’t have to make extra trips. He grabbed the bowls of soup and walked out to the living room. He set the bowls of soup on the coffee table for a minute and opened his backpack. “Okay, so I know I can’t cure your depression. I know this won’t just be fixed with a hug and some food. But I wanna be able to help you. So every night this week, I’m gonna come over, check on you, make some food, and we can watch a movie. I’m gonna keep doing that until I know you’re okay. Sound good?” You nodded and he pulled out the blanket, pretzels, and movie options.
New York was a BIG city. You knew this, of course. But JJ had never traveled outside of the outer banks. So when you stepped out of that hotel, he saw just how big the city was. Your parents walked ahead of you and you and JJ stayed behind, holding hands and talking.
“So this morning, we’re hanging out in Times Square, which is basically the heart of New York city. On our way there, a lot of people will bump in to you. Don’t get heated, they don’t mean it, it’s just very crowded here.” He nodded and you squeezed his hand. “Second: don’t give any money to people on the side of the road, not all of them need it. I know it seems cruel, and it feels that way too. It’s just that there’s so many scammers out there that it’d be better to donate to a charity that funds housing for those people. Okay?” “Yeah, that makes more sense once you add in the charity part.” He said, following along.
“Three: you aren’t paying for anything here because 1. prices are really high in New York City and 2. I won’t let you and I don’t think my parents will either so that’s final. And don’t feel bad, I’m doing it because I care about you. And four, walk fast. There’s no time for slow pokes in New York and within 2 minutes, you’ll be a mile behind us. I have my phone, and the streets are numbered so if you do get lost, text me what streets you’re on, the corner signs should tell you. Like right now...” You pointed to the corner signs. “Let’s say you’re at 24th East and 5th South. I’ll then text you where we are and we won’t move. So let’s say we’re at 35th East and 6th South. so you’d go 11 streets east, use the compass on your phone, and one south. I’ll stay on the phone with you the whole time. But I doubt that will happen.” You held up your linked hands. “If we stay like this.” He smiles. “Good thing I like holding your hand.” He kisses the back of your hand and you kept walking.
“Tonight, we’re going to see a Broadway show. This is a musical theatre show called Hamilton.” He nodded. “I’ve seen that on Disney Plus! Kie pays for it. It’s my favorite!” He said. “I love musical theatre, though I haven’t seen it in a while. Since there’s no theatre here, I sometimes pay off the people who do outdoor movie nights to play a musical movie.” JJ says. You squeeze his hand and say “Well, you’ll enjoy this so much better.” He beamed.
You were tired from the long day, but you have to admit, it was probably the best night of your life. JJ collapsed on the bed, still beaming. You opened your bag from the disney store to toss him his blue stitch plushie (his favorite disney character) and you grabbed your matching pink one. You then grabbed your playbills, both signed by the cast, and set them on the side table next to your bed. “That was the most fun I think I’ve ever had.” He said and you giggled. “Too bad we only stayed here for a weekend.” You said. “Hey quick question.” “I’m listening” he said. “Okay so I know this sounds dumb but, what are we? Like I think I know but I just want to clarify with you.” He sat up. “Well, I never really asked but here goes. Do you want to be with me?” He asked. “Yes, yes please!” You said excitedly. He pulled you in for a kiss and your legs wrapped around his waist. Nothing sexual about it, just more comfortable. You were in love with JJ Maybank. And you couldn’t be more ecstatic!
#outer banks#obx#jj maybank#sarah cameron#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj x reader#john b routledge#kiara carrera#madelyn cline#jj maybank x you#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank smut#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank angst#jj imagine#madison bailey#rudy pankow#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank obx#jj outer banks#outer banks jj#rudy pankow imagine
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Chapter 3
I couldn’t sleep. I walked around the room, controlling myself not to go near the windows, took my phone and thought about calling Rupert, so that he could warn Miss Picket that I had to leave town, but how could I explain something like this? He’d probably think that I was joking or drunk. I felt like I was about to faint and a terrible headache started to shoot me down.
“Jean?” I called, going closer to the door and we opened the door at the same time.
“You called, princess?”
“Can you get my dad? I’m not feeling well. I need… something” I said, sighing.
“Your father is already in his room, resting, princess. Do you want me to call a doctor?” He looked rather reluctant.
It felt like I was about to cry and I raised my hand, denying the suggestion.
“No. Can you get me a painkiller or something? Anything.”
“Sure, what are you feeling, princess?” He asked and I noticed he was about to grab my wrists, but he stopped.
“Just… I… I don’t know.” I couldn’t express myself clearly, so I just closed the door and Jean didn’t stop me.
I looked at the box that was on the floor, beside my backpack, and sat on the floor, in front of it, starting to open it. I couldn’t care less about the tears and hiccups that were filling in the room.
After throwing the top of the box away, I spread the pictures on the floor and kept staring at them for a long time, until I heard someone knock on the door.
“Excuse me, princess, may I come in?” someone asked. A voice I didn’t recognize.
“Yes.” I answered, cleaning the tears with the back of my hands and trying to control myself.
“Hello?” I heard and, when I turned around, I saw Charles. “I brought you the painkillers you asked before. Oh, you’re crying? Do you want me to come back another time?”
I heard Jean clear his throat and Charles looked at the door, where Jean probably was standing.
“You can come in” I said and Charles obeyed, closing the door, but not before I heard Jean clearing his throat even higher and stronger.
“Something tells me that he’s going to be cruel when reporting about me” Charles whispered and got close to me, sitting on the floor beside me, but half a meter away. “I brought you medicine, soothing pills, vitamins… What do you need? I mean, miss… Princess.”
“I need you to stop calling me princess for starters” I took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, prince....” he stopped and tried not to laugh. “I’m sorry, but that isn’t something we can control. It’s the way we show respect for the royalty. We learn this as soon as we grow up.”
“I’m not from royalty. I don’t even know where y’all live, how do you expect me to become a princess?”
“We don’t. You are the princess. They are calling you ‘the lost princess of Combellmont’. And everyone is waiting for you.” He confessed, as he offered me the medicines, asking me to choose one. I chose the painkiller, as I’ve asked Jean before, and a soothing pill.
“How wonderful!” I mocked after taking the pills and drinking the water Charles brought.
He smiled and I noticed a small cut on his lower lip.
“You’ll have everything you wish to adapt yourself to this new life and you can always count on your aunt, who’s very anxious to meet you.”
I tried to remember where an aunt fits in this whole story, but I just howled.
“I hate all of this.” I looked at the box and the pictures. “I hate not knowing what to do, where I’m heading or what’s waiting for me.”
Charles looked impressed with my reaction, so he got up and told me: “It’s late already.” He was about to call me “princess” once again, but controlled himself. “Go to bed and lay down. I’ll put the box on your side and, if you allow me, I’ll put the armchair closer to the bed and I’ll tell you everything you’d like to know about your kingdom.”
He raised his hand and I held it while he helped me get up. Then, I went to bed, laid down, just to realize I was wearing the flannel, my pajama shirt and jeans. Charles waited until I laid down, motionless, and, after that, he put the box beside me. He went to the armchair and brought it closer to the bed, sitting on it.
“If you allow me, just for tonight and I beg you to keep this a secret, how should I address you?” he asked.
“Nick.” I replied.
“Okay, Nick. My family and friends call me Chuck, except when I’m at work… Then, Jean insists on calling me Charles.” he explained.
“Are you and Jean family?”
“Siblings” he replied and then amended: “He loves to play the older brother role.”
“I have siblings too, right… Chuck?” I asked with an involuntary smile on my lips and yawned, feeling the effects of the soothing pill.
“Two. Princess Rafaella and Prince Hugo. And, as I’ve said before, you also have an aunt, Princess Antonina. They are introduced this way to the public, however, inside the castle, they allow us to call them Ella and Nina.”
I saw Chuck coming closer to the box and he took some newspaper articles, but I just closed my eyes and kept listening to what he was saying.
“Your mom was the most loved queen and she really dedicated herself to Combellmont. Unfortunately, she died right after Hugo was born and, since then, Nina is the one that takes care of your siblings. She’s always really adorable with everyone in the royal guard, even though people that maintain the castle say otherwise. To me and to my brother she’s admirable. Her health was always fragile, so she doesn’t really go outside the castle, but she has been going out to pronounce and she was the one that revealed your mother’s testament, she was the one that assumed your existence. It was shocking to everyone, but it didn’t blemish your mother’s figure. Your mom was strong. I mean, she preferred to leave your custody to your dad, married King Louis and then he had that sad ending on the Adriatic sea…”
I wanted to ask about what happened to King Louis, but I fell asleep and didn’t remember anything else that Chuck told me after that.
***
I woke up to the room maid taking the pictures that were under me, since I tend to move around a lot while I’m sleeping and ended up sleeping on the pictures and newspaper articles. When we exchanged looks, I didn’t know who was more scared, me or her, and, after whispering an apology, she bowed and left the room, probably to warn one of the guards that I was already up. Then, a couple seconds later, Jean entered the room.
“Good morning, princess. Should I ask them to bring your breakfast?”
“Where’s my dad?” I asked, rubbing my eyes and sitting on the bed.
“He was waiting for you to wake up, but decided to eat breakfast with the guard this morning.”
This morning? I looked around, looking for my phone and, when I found it, I noticed it was past noon.
“Why didn’t you wake me up? It’s late already!” I exclaimed as I got up, staggering around the room.
“It wasn’t necessary.” Jean replied just like that.
I snorted and shook my head, entering the bathroom. When I left, after brushing my teeth and pulling up my hair, the breakfast was already in my room, with three different breakfast carts laying around the suite table.
“Wow, who’s gonna eat with me?” I asked, wondering if they’ve called a meeting now.
“It’s a diverse menu, princess. I advise you to get fruits, water and milk” Jean suggested, hiding a smile. “And your aunt would like to talk to you. She’s worried and wishes to see you even if it’s online. May I bring the notebook for a call?”
I replied, shaking my shoulders without knowing what to expect. I opened each closed tray on the carts, picking eggs, bacon, sausage and bread. I poured a glass of orange juice to myself.
When I was about to finish my dish, but had my fingers and mouth dirty, Jean brought the notebook and put it on the table, in front of me, when I waved to a woman with short blond hair and narrow brown eyes and pointy nose.
“Oh, my sweet niece!” she exclaimed and covered her mouth with her hands.
I pointed a finger and got up so that I could chew the food without her noticing it and, only after that, I sat down to talk to her, while cleaning my mouth and fingers with a napkin.
“Good morning” I said, forcing myself to smile.
“It's already evening here, darling.” she informed me. “I just need to know if everything is okay. I heard about the terrible attack you and your father suffered and I hope you’ll be here immediately.”
“Ah, yeah. It was nuts, but everyone is fine.” I confirmed, without knowing how to express myself.
“Oh, Nicolle. I hope to meet you soon. And your siblings are anxious.” she said with a short smile.
I nodded once again, not saying a word.
“I imagine how hard it must be, but we have a lot of time for you to adapt yourself and you’ll have every support we can give you. By the way, I think you already know that, but I’m your mother’s sister. Your aunt, Antonina, but everyone calls me Nina around here and you may as well call me Aunt Nina.”
“Okay.” I replied.
This time, she noticed I didn’t know what to say, so she decided to say goodbye.
“I’ll let you have your breakfast in peace. I’ll be waiting for you and your room is ready for your arrival. See you soon, darling.”
“See ya… Aunt.” I said and, after that, she hung up.
I took a deep breath and continued to eat. After all, I was really hungry.
After taking a shower and being amazed by the bathroom box that would fit a bed inside, and by the bathroom itself, that was probably the same size as my bedroom back in Montgomery, I started to try to ignore whatever I was feeling.
As I ran my hands through the glass, I saw a pair of frightened eyes with lots of eye bags. My eyes. But I refused to let the doubts tangle my brain again, so I dressed up and left the room to meet my dad.
“They wanted me to ask for permission to let me in.” he said with a grimace when we met.
I howled, shaking my shoulders, got closer to my dad and hugged him.
“Calm down, Nick. I’m still recovering.” I let him go, trying to see his arm. “I’m fine, but I came here to talk to you.”
“Okay, what’re you telling me now? That you’re an FBI agent? That I’m half alien? That my mom was a mermaid? Actually, that’s something I’d like to be true…” I provoked him.
“Nick, I’m going back to Montgomery.” he said.
I stared at him.
“What’re you sayin’?”
“Dear, I want you to understand me… I know that you must be confused with everything that’s going on, but all of that was predicted in your destiny. Your mom was the one that was supposed to be here, explaining everything to you, but, sadly, she couldn’t do it.” He started, then sat on the chair that Chuck sat the day before. “All of that, you being a princess, you having the right to become a queen… It was something I already expected. Caroline wanted to keep you away from all of that, but she made me promise that I’d take care of you and educate you so that you’d become a good person, which you are.’’
I couldn’t believe in what I was hearing.
“You started learning Spanish when you were little because that’s Combellmont's official language. I did everything I could to keep you in Abeley because I wanted you to have the best education in town. That’s why I insisted you should try Ballet, swimming classes, music classes… I did everything I could so that you could be who you’re now… A princess.”
“What’re you sayin’?” I repeated, feeling desperate.
“And I know that you’ll be well treated and will have a future with great people that will take care of you. The care that you always needed and that I failed to give. Even after the accident… You know how much I regret that, but now you can leave all that behind and follow your life! Start a new story.”
“So that’s it? You really intend to leave me like that? Do you even understand what you’re doing to me?” I wanted to shout, but kept talking between teeth so that Isaac and Jean wouldn’t come in and interrupt us.
“Nick, I’m not leaving you. I’m freeing you! You’ll start a new chapter of your life and I’ll be in Montgomery if you ever need me. If you need me, I’ll be there.”
“I need you now, dad!” I couldn’t manage my tone this time.
“I’m so sorry.” he concluded and, after that, he got up. “But I’ll not come with you. You don’t need me as you feel like you do. And after you are crowned, what good would I be? I’ll always be treated like a burden to you. You’ll be better without me.”
I didn’t feel like crying and asked myself if I had cried so hard yesterday that I had no tears left today. As bad as this news was, I could only feel anger and disappointment. Seeing that I had shut down, my dad walked towards the door.
“I’m sorry, Nick. I’ll always be your dad and you’ll always be welcomed in your old life.”
Then he left, leaving me there. Alone.
End of the chapter. Let me know if you liked! Don't forget to comment, like and shared with your friends. See y'all soon! 💜
#the lost princess#the princess diaries#the selection#kiera cass#meg cabot#kindle#amazon#kdp#ebook#book#chapter#romance#drama#larissabaoli#booktt#booktok#bookstan#ya#chicklit
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Fangs for the Hospitality
Chapter 1
Summary: After Remus goes a bit too far during a family reunion bet, Roman finds himself alone and near freezing outside in an early winter storm. His car broke down, and he's in the middle of nowhere with no phone. He cant seem to catch a break. Deciding his life cant much worse, Roman decides to head into the woods looking for help. His luck may be turning when the man who opens the door is a lot more charming than he should be. His kids are fascinated by the new face appearing from the woods. And man this guy has some sharp teeth... Maybe Roman bit off a bit more than he can chew with this one.
A/N: My self-indulgent magic/vampire fic! Let me know if I need to tag something or you wanna be tagged!
Pairings: Familial DAM, Creavtivitwins, Eventual Roceit, Eventual Intrulogical
Warnings: (Done per chapter) Car trouble, mention of bets, gossip, mentions of bad family relations
Word Count: 1466
Read on AO3!
“God Dammit! No no nonono please! Don’t do this to me!” Roman whined at his car from behind the wheel from the driver's seat.
Despite his pleading, the car continued to sputter even louder than previously. Finally starting to slow down, leaving Roman no choice other than to pull his car off to the side of the road.
He continued to lament his plight to no one except the empty seat beside him, leaning over to place his forehead on the steering wheel. At this point he couldn't even try to stop the tears rolling down his cheeks landing on his lap.
There was no one else on the empty, countryside road making it easy to do so.
“Why does this always happen to me!?” He whined as he turned the key finally giving the engine a much needed break. “I can’t do this anymore! The world hates meee!”
Earlier that day the passenger seat was filled by his overly excitable twin brother, Remus, on their way to the yearly family reunion. Roman has always hated these reunions with a burning passion. He only went because he was expected to at this point.
There was always too much expectation from everyone at the reunions. Since his family was quite well off they were the one to host every year. Inviting everyone to their too grand, too big victorian style home.
Remus, on the other hand, had always liked the family reunions. He too was asked those questions (well not the one about his career, they were all quite proud of him becoming a doctor. Specifically an obstetrician and gynecologist. Remus said it was because delivering babies was gross and dealing with people who have female reproductive systems health could be horrifying, but he can never deny how much he liked helping the people he did. He has a counter on his fridge of how many babies he has brought into the world and sometimes he even looks at it and smiles, not that Remus knew that Roman saw him do that.) but Remus let the other questions roll straight off his back in a way Roman never could.
He was holding on hope that this year, like every year, would be different. Maybe his mother would stop asking if he had chosen a more suitable career path like Remus. Maybe his grandmother would stop asking if he found a pretty girl yet. Maybe his grandfather would be anything more than dismissive toward him. Maybe...maybe his dad might show up to this one.
Not to mention that they also just made him wildly uncomfortable. Too many people really. All those people being fake and backhanded. He alway felt like they were looking specifically at him as he walked by. Just a bad time for him all around.
Remus really liked the reunions because of the gossip and chaos of it all. Every year as soon as they arrived he would immediately go and find their cousin Remy to lay down the new hot tea about the family. Then after all that was settled they would place bets on who could get the most outrageous rumor started. Remy would typically win because of his talent for making such believable lies. Remus always went too far off the deep end and the family didn't usually believe what they were being told. Which was completely fair because “what do you mean Jill isn't here because she suddenly decided to take a trip to West Virginia to look for Mothman? Remus Jill is 89 years old. And who is Mothman?”
That stupid rumor game is what started this whole mess anyway. Roman always tried to stay out of it. He wasn't very good at the game, though he was a good actor he was very bad at lying. So for the past few years he'd skip out on playing. He'd just go to his corner, and wait for the night to be over.
This year Remus and Remy decided to up the ante as it were. There was going to be a whole $50 bill on the line this time (though that was trump change compared to how much money his family actually made). Remus is never one to back down from a challenge and though he's a doctor, he doesn't tend to think ahead of his actions all that well. Especially when he got a bit too excited. That being said, he really messed things up for Roman this time.
That stupid game had made everyones eyes turn to him for an explanation that he didn’t have. Forced him to run from the house and flee in his car without Remus behind him.
Roman didn't take time to dwell on the fact he was his brother's ride.
With his head still on the steering wheel he closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. He didn't know how he was going to get out of this one, so he continued to sit a wallow a bit. Maybe he’ll just wait a bit and his car will start back up…
~~~
Roman pulled the car into the last spot left open in the large parking lot outside of their parents mansion.
He pulled in between what looked to be his Aunt Clara and Uncle Jim's red corvette, and his Grandmother dark blue rolls-royce. He took extra care parking in between the two very expensive cars. Making sure to leave plenty of room around them and his own, significantly crappier car. He knew from experience that if he didn't leave the room he would be getting an earful later from said family members.
As he turned the key he let out a nervous breath looking over to Remus who was almost bouncing in his seat.
“You ready?” Roman asked with a slight smile. As much as he was worried to be here, he was glad his brother would have a good time.
“I can’t wait! I can’t wait to beat Remy's ass this year! I have such a good rumor that the whole family is going to believe for years to come. That 50 dollars is mine!” Remus smiled bright and pumped his fist in the air.
Roman couldn’t help but feel excited for him. Remus even seemed more excited now, if the bouncing and fidgeting said anything.
“I’m sure you’ll get it out of him one way or another. Come on, let's go.” Roman started for his car door when Remus’ arm shot out and stopped him. Roman looked back to Remus to see he had stopped bouncing, seeming somewhat sobered. Looking more serious, and to be contemplating something tilting his head back and forth. Then he finally spoke.
“Listen...I know this isn't your kind of thing since dad left... But I’m with you okay? Stick with me if you need to. Those old assholes don't know what they're talking about with you, okay?” Remus looked slightly shy as he spoke, not looking directly at Roman.
Still, Roman smiled softly at his twin, both a bit confused and touched. Remus didn't typically try and make Roman feel better; he wasn't very good with words. But he did appreciate the sentiment.
“Thank you Remus. I’ll try to enjoy myself. Might even try to leave my corner if I feel so inclined.” Roman smiled. “Maybe dable in a little bit conversion. Just try to keep your hijinks somewhat clean and manageable.”
“Well that's no fun!” And Remus was back to his normal self, seeming grateful for the topic change. “My only reason to be here is to cause chaos and you know it! Now let's go! There is supposed to be a really big storm coming and if we're lucky the snow will distract everyone from when I plan to steal the bust of great Aunt Kathy!” Remus cackled as he exited the car, way more excited then he should be for a man who admitted to planning theft.
Roman took the moment alone to take a stealing breath. He looked out the window at the huge family house where he grew up. It was much too big, too grand for children to grow up in. It didn't feel like home anymore. Looking back it never really did to Roman.
He hated coming here and he hated the feelings associated here. But if it makes Remus happy to come here together, and it keeps the rest of his family off his back, he’ll keep trying. A knock on the window made him jump out of his thoughts.
“You fucking ready!? I’m freezing my tits off out here ya know!” Remus shouted too loud for how close he was to the window.
“As I’ll ever be…” he muttered to himself, smiling a bit at Remus being Remus as he unbuckled his seatbelt and left the car.
~~~
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#sanders sides#ts roman sanders#ts roman#ts remus sanders#ts remus#car trouble#mentions of bets#gossip#bad family relations#eventual roceit#roceit#eventual intrulogical#intrulogical#magic au#vampire au#sanders sides fanfiction#verys fic
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Preference #10 - Labor on Tour (Requested)
Mick: “The real question is epidural or no epidural?” You couldn’t help but to giggle at Tommy’s question as you rubbed your hand across your belly, smiling when you felt your baby kick your hand. You were currently cuddled against Mick’s chest, chatting with the band as you traveled to the next destination for the next show. Where you had always been someone who hated riding in a car for long periods of time, you couldn’t help but to love the tour bus. Furthermore, it was more like a small home. There was always chatter, there was always laughter, and there was plenty of room to move around and breathe. Half the time you didn’t even feel like you were traveling when you were on it. And right now was no different; in fact you were perfectly content as you talked about your soon-to-be labor. “No epidural, I want it to be all natural.” Smiling proudly at your decision, you couldn’t help but to laugh as the three men in front of you winced at your words. “Mick, your girlfriend is fucking metal.” Vince stated very seriously as Mick rubbed the top of your shoulder and kissed the side of your head. “Seriously, man. If I was in a street fight and I had to pick one person to help me, it would definitely be her.” Tommy nodded in your direction as you rolled your eyes shaking your head. Although denying the epidural made you seem heroic and strong, you truthfully didn’t want it for a multitude of reasons. Reason one being that you had a sincere phobia of large needles, reason two being because of the health risks involved in having it, and finally reason three because you wanted to remember every single solitary part of the labor. Even though you had heard that child birth was the worst pain a woman could ever possibly endure, you were willing to take that risk. Furthermore, you wanted to remember every single, solitary aspect of the childbirth: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. Plus, you had experienced braxton hicks contractions in the past and they happened to be pretty mild. Surely labor contractions couldn’t be much worse, right? That is what you had originally thought, however, until you suddenly felt an extremely sharp tightening in your abdomen. “Oh, ow.” you muttered, sucking in a sharp breath as you leaned away from Mick, sitting up straighter than you had before. “What’s wrong?” Mick murmured, brushing the hair from the back of your neck as he began to rub small circles into your back. “The baby...Is just trying to get comfy I think,” hissing on the last word, your back arched as the feeling intensified. “Someone get her a water,” Mick instructed as he stepped in front of you, crouching so that your faces were eye level. “Hey...Are you okay?” Lifting your chin so that your eyes locked with his, Mick frowned when he saw the pain that swam in your eyes. As if the pain wasn’t already a dead giveaway, however, suddenly your clothes as well as your seat were drenched in water; suddenly the unthinkable had happened. “Shit,” Your pupils dilated in distress just as Nikki approached you with the water, his own eyes widening in shock. “Nikki, I need you to find out how close we are to the next exit immediately.” Mick’s words were calm as he brushed your hair from your face, sighing in relief when he overheard the bus driver state that they were only a mile away from the exit. “Just hold off for a little bit longer, we’ll get you to a hospital immediately.” Nikki soothed you as he sat down next to Mick, handing you the water. “Hey, Tommy?” You winced in between contractions. “Yeah, Y/N?” “I think I changed my mind about the epidural.” Everybody laughed in unison as Mick leaned up to kiss the tip of your nose, smiling at your words. “I think you’ll thank yourself later.” He laughed. [I love Mick Mars sorry for getting carried away lol]
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Nikki: Pregnancy changed a lot about you. It changed your physical exterior, it changed the way your brain operated, it even changed your perspective on life; however, pregnancy did not change the constant urge you had to consistently stay busy. “Babe, you’ve got to sit down.” Nikki pleaded, cuffing his fingers around your wrist as you hastily walked past him. You were currently rushing around the dressing room helping the boys prepare for their performance by spackling their hair with hairspray, fetching them their choice of liquor, doing makeup, and making sure their attire was presentable. “I am, I am. I was just grabbing the stuff to do your makeup, I swear.” you reasoned, finally sitting in front of Nikki as you opened the blush compact. “I swear you were born to be a mom, the way you take care of us when in reality we should be rushing around making sure you’re the one being pampered.” Nikki marveled, as you swirled the plump brush into the bright particles your cheeks turning the same color as the material in the compact. You had been dating Nikki for years and now you were pregnant with his child, how was it that he was still capable of making you blush like the first time he laid eyes on you? You were convinced that he had some sort of invisible mind power over you. “Nonsense,” you murmured as you began to blend the makeup into his skin, smiling at the way it accentuated his bone structure. You never grew bored from doing Nikki’s makeup. Furthermore, it gave you the perfect excuse to stare intently at him for as long as you wanted. He was just so painstakingly beautiful; you couldn't believe that he was completely yours let alone the father of your child. How had you gotten so lucky? Your thoughts were quickly interrupted when a sudden rush of water began to gush from between your legs, soaking the chair beneath you as it leaked into your shoes. For once in your life, you froze. Becoming completely statuesque from the foreign feeling, the brush slipped from your fingers as it dropped to the floor with a light ‘thud’. “Babe, what’s wrong? What happened?” Nikki’s voice was tinged with concern as his hands frantically caressed the tops of your arms, then to your cheeks. Usually the touch of your boyfriend was able to break your concentration enough to talk to him about what was bothering you, but this time you stayed completely still eyes wide in alarm. “Y/N, you’re scaring me. Is it the baby?” Nikki’s voice broke on the last syllable, causing you to snap out of the shock. “My water just broke.” You whispered in alarm, as you eyes snapped up to meet his. For a second, you held each other's gaze completely astonished that the moment was finally here; then everything began to happen at once. It happened so quickly you weren’t even sure how it happened; all you remembered was Nikki shouting “I’m going to be a dad!” As you were rushed out the door.
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Tommy: Tommy was starting to become silent. Not because he didn’t love you or he didn’t want to speak to you, but because he was truthfully becoming fearful of you. Furthermore, you were pregnant. Really pregnant; nine months to be exact. And not only were you extremely uncomfortable as your stomach was now ballooned to a whole new extreme, but your hormones were also exceedingly imbalanced as well. With one bad glance, you were biting off the heads of your peers then happy as a clam the next. And, unfortunately, Tommy was constantly on the receiving end of it. “Dudes, I am telling you she has become possessed by the devil or something.” Tommy warned his bandmates in a hasty whisper. “Man, she’s pregnant. Quit overreacting and suck it up,” Vince chided, smiling pleasantly at you as you suddenly approached the group. “Hello, Y/N.” Vince greeted you, flinching when you stared back at him coldly. “What’s everybody staring at?” You spit viciously between your teeth, your features menacing. “You, of course! You look ravishing, your pregnancy glow really makes you look radiant.” Nikki had tried to reassure you, but to no avail. “That’s hilarious considering I got three hours of sleep last night and just got done ralphing. Did I mention I still have acid reflux from the brownie I ate two days ago as well? Also, I’ve been having braxton hicks contractions since my second trimester and today they are the worst they’ve ever been so tell me one more time that I look ravishing, Nikki, because I swear to god I’m not in the mood for compli-” Your threat came to screeching halt as the water began to trickle down your legs, drenching the lower half of your body. For a second, you had been completely convinced that Nikki’s compliment had got you so worked up that you had quite literally peed your pants. Then you realized; your water had just broke. Slowly raising your head mouth agape, you met Tommy’s shocked gaze. The room had become silent as the band slowly raised their eyes from the puddle on the ground to meet your astonished ogle. “I-I think my water just broke.” Once your words broke the silence, Tommy was by you in an instant shouting for Doc as he steered you out of the dressing room. “Are you okay? Do you need me to get you anything before we head to the hospital? Should I call your parents? Mine?” The questions poured out of his mouth at an expeditious speed, a shaky hand raking through his hair the entire time. You could tell by the urgency in his tone that he was panicking, and for the first time in weeks you truly felt sorry for him. Suddenly yanking him to a stop, you pressed your palms to his cheeks and leaned up to press your lips to his gingerly. “All I want or need right now is you,” you breathed as Tommy nodded his head, pressing his lips to your forehead. “Now, let’s go have this baby.”
-
Vince: “That’s your Daddy, little one.” Rubbing your palm over your pregnant belly, you beamed as you watched Vince perform on stage. Every single, solitary day you thanked your lucky stars for being privileged enough to have him not only as a loving, supporting boyfriend, but now as the father of your child. Furthermore, Vince was everything and more to you. And watching him perform every single night only validated your feelings that much more. As great as Vince was as a performer, you got to enjoy the more intimate, personal parts of him; you got to be apart of a life of his that not a lot people got to be apart of and for that you personally felt enriched. That didn’t mean that you still couldn’t enjoy the stage aspect to Vince, however. Yes, even though you loved the family oriented part of who he was as well as the compassionate, romantic side of him, you still never grew tired of seeing him perform. Moreover, every single, solitary aspect to him screamed sex appeal. The way his skin glistened from the sweat, the way his voice rung out in his higher notes, the way he bucked his hips when he danced; everything was just so damn sexy. You weren’t 100% sure, but you figured a large percentage of you was so sex hungry for him because of your pregnancy hormones. The other part of you, however, accepted the fact that you had always wanted to rip the clothes off of him at the end of every concert pregnant or not. “You must like to hear Daddy sing too; you’re quite the kicker tonight,” moving your hand across your belly, you smiled as your baby kicked your hand each time you moved it. Where your baby had been a wiggler from the beginning, you couldn’t help but to realize that your baby was more active than usual tonight. It seemed like every five seconds or so, they were moving; adjusting. You almost wondered if they were starting to become impatient with the lack of space. “Holy,” your thoughts were instantaneously interrupted when suddenly a sharp, tightening pain erupted from the pits of your stomach. Dropping to your knees, you called out for Doc. A couple of roadies noticed you before he did, however, and rushed to get to him. In the meantime, you were suddenly kneeling in a pool of water bewildered on how things had happened so quickly. What you hadn’t realized during all of this, nevertheless, was that Doc had rushed onto the stage and pulled Vince telling him that you were in labor. “Sweetheart, hey…” Vince was at your side in an instant, kneeling down in front of you as your contorted face raised slightly too look at him. “H-hurts, baby is coming.” Just as the words escaped your clenched teeth, Tommy was suddenly rolling a wheelchair your way. Vince hooked his arms under yours, lifting you up in the chair as you let out another sharp gasp from the contraction. “We need to get her out of here, now.” Vince’s words were urgent as he began to wheel you down the hall, Mick on the phone with 911 in the background trying to call you a paramedic. Even though you had interrupted the concert, you couldn’t help but to feel happy that Vince was with you and the boys were just as supportive. In addition, you knew you weren’t going to be alone.
#mgk#colson baker#The Dirt#the dirt fanfic#the dirt preferences#the dirt imagine#the dirt imagines#the dirt blurbs#the dirt blurb#the dirt headcannon#Douglas Booth#iwan rheon#Daniel Webber#mick mars#nikki sixx#Vince Neil#Tommy Lee#motley crue#motley crue the dirt#the dirt cast
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brother! tom where the reader and him have a huge fight and tom ignores her as well as harrison and later the reader ends up in the hospital after she goes to the party because she got beat up by a guy in her grade, and she calls one of them
sis, all I have to say is thank you for this prompt. You could see that I got carried away, haha. I hope that it turned out as you had hoped.
Having Tom as an older brother had some perks, but for the most part, he was just your usual older brother; picking on you from time to time, giving you head nuggies, and teasing you along with your other brothers about your latest new ‘boyfriend’ from school.
“Tom, come on! You have to let me go! This is so unfair! How come you and Haz can go with no problem but when I plan to go, it’s a huge ordeal.”
“Y/N, I already said no. you’re not going. What the hell would mum and dad think once they found out what happened?”
“Ugh, you’re so unfair, I hate you! God I wish you weren’t my brother, hell, I wish I didn’t even know you! How is Haz even friends with you?!! You can’t even give me a valid reason as to why I can’t go. I wish I was never born into this family. So it’s okay for you and Haz to go but not me? That’s so sexist!”
“Y/N, enough! Enough with this shit. Stop acting like you’re so entitled. You’re not going and that’s the end of it. Ugh, you think it’s hell living with me and how you wish you were never in this family, sometimes I wish you were never in this family too! Our lives would be better off without you.”
Ouch. Wooh, that fucking hurt. Had he really felt this way about having you as his sister.
Silence. Absolute silence washed over the room. No one said a word, not even Haz, who stood right in the middle of you both. You ran upstairs into your room, you locked the door behind you as you jumped into your bed and cried, cried like there was no tomorrow.
You both knew you were both at fault, both unable to take back the things that were said, but there was no coming back from this. There was no apologizing, you knew that, both of you were just too
stubborn.
He dared not come into your bedroom. In fact, after the argument, he went to get ready and it wasn’t long before he and Haz were out the door.
You being you, defiant and stubborn as all hell, you went against what your older and got ready said party.
That would be a sight to see, your brother’s priceless reaction as you entered the party.
Ooh, this was about to get real ugly.
You arrived to the location the party and so far, since you haven’t seen him or Haz, it was going quite well.
You met up with a few of your friends from school and started to enjoy yourself and let loose. At this point, you lost count of how many drinks you’ve consumed, but if you were being totally honest, you didn’t care.
At some point in your drunken state, you got into an argument with one of the guys in your grade. You didn’t know how that ordeal came to be but the next thing you knew, you felt a hand come in contact with your cheek, causing you to bend over and fall to the ground. You started to taste something metallic, bringing your right hand to clean off whatever the source of that unpleasant taste and the dirt on your face, you were met with the sight of blood, and copious amounts of it. Completely drenching the sleeve of your sweater.
Oh shit, you thought. The amount of blood that was flowing was very alarming to say the least. You were completely dumbfounded and shaken. Did this really happen? Yes, yes it did.
Your fight or flight senses kicking in, you managed to compose yourself and arrange for an Uber; you needed to get yourself checked out.
Upon arriving in the ER and having the staff take a look at you, they informed you that although you’ve lost some blood, everything else seemed to check out okay. All of your teeth were intact, and miraculously, there was no damage to anything else. They did warn you that you’d feel a soreness in your mouth for a few days, from the impact. They required that an adult come and pick you up and take you home to rest up.
You were okay, thank God. You thanked them for their time. You knew that you had to call someone, but would this someone actually come and save you?
As much as you’d rather call anyone else, you knew you had to call your older brother. Would he answer? You weren’t sure but you were to find out soon.
Nervously, you dialed his number. It rang a few times before you heard his voicemail. He denied your call. You called again. And the same thing happened, you were sent to voicemail.
You decided to shoot him a text, hoping that he’ll see it. Once pressing send, you decided to try and phone him one last time.
A few rings later he picked up.
“What the hell do you want? Why do you keep spamming me, huh? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?”
“T-Tom, please. C-can you please come get me? I’m at the hospital” you manage to speak, in between your choked sobs.
As soon as he heard those words, his heart stopped. Absolutely falling into his stomach, automatically thinking the worst.
“Are you okay? What happened? What hospital are you at? I’ll be there soon, I promise. Just hang on for me kiddo.” Kiddo, his term of endearment for you, calling you that for as long as you could remember.
“I’m at University College Hospital. I’ll tell you everything when you get here. Please T, please hurry” you pleaded.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be there soon. I promise you.”
Tom ran out of the party in record breaking speed and hopped into his car on his way to you, his little sister. If something had happened to you, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. And after the afternoon’s ordeal, made him feel even more terrible. He just hoped that you were okay. He didn’t want to disappoint his parents in failing to take care of his younger siblings.
He arrived at the hospital in less than 15 minutes. As he gasped for air, he ran to the receptionist to ask of your location. They had walked him to the ER and spoke with the charge nurse. The charge nurse then led him to your room as you laid on the bed.
He took in your appearance, bloodshot eyes, blotchy face and a bruise forming on your right cheek. He rushed over to you and enveloped you in a tight embrace.
You were okay, at least you appeared okay. The nurse had explained to him what happened. She told him that due to the events, your face would be a bit swollen and sore, educating him to feed you soft foods until the pain and swelling subsided. He had thanked her and signed you out of the hospital, ready to take you home.
During the ride home, he asked you who the culprit was. A part of you wanted to say who it was but a part of you didn’t; you knew that once Tom knew who did this to you, who hurt his little sister, all hell was about to break loose. That kid would never see the light of day ever again.
Before you told him who it was, you begged him not to do anything, that it would make the situation more worse than it already is. But him being who he was, the chance of him listening were slim to none.
During your ride home, he took this time out to apologize to you, for all of the words he had said when he was angry and how he meant nothing of it; it was just a spur of the moment frustration that slipped, knowing that it went too far. He cried as he apologized to you, and he rarely cried. This moved you.
You apologized for your words as well, stating that you didn’t mean any of it. You told him that you were grateful to have such a caring older brother that came to your rescue whenever you needed him. Just like how he was here at this very moment. As you spoke, you cried again, realizing how great he was. Although you guys have your moments, I mean what siblings didn’t, you knew he’d always have your back, as you would his.
You made amends and during the next few days, he as well as your other brothers took care of you until you returned to your previous state of health. They all had one thing in mind, they were about to let all hell break loose and get the guy who hurt you.
#tom holland imagine#tom holland angst#tom holland x you#tom holland x reader#tom holland au#tom holland blurb
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You Are The Right One
Pairing: Gokudera Hayato/Reader
Summary: Gokudera knows what you mean to him. But what does he mean to you?
Warnings: fluff, romance, some sexual situations/suggestiveness (i.e. Gokudera is thirsty), angst
Word Count: 6,929
(Songfic to You Are The Right One by Sports)
(re/cross?posted from my AO3 and Luna! Original A/N below)
(Hi!! I know I've been gone a long time and I'm SORRY!! I've been going through a lot of stuff (I've been in 3 productions since the last time I've posted .. i think it's only 3.. but I've been a NAMED character in 2 out of 3!! the third one doesn't count bc it was a bunch of skits and so strict plot... so i guess that means... i was a named character in BOTH of my productions?~ I just performed in Grease 2 days ago on friday as Jan, my twinkie girl!! I got to eat twinkies on stage!! It was v exciting and I had a blast! some people I know from the hawaii theatre came down to see me and one of my dad's movie friends and they loved me! one of them told my mom i'm going to broadway! haha!!! ^v^ isn't that sweet? I don't think so but that's a lovely hope, isn't it? I'd like to dedicate this fic to someone who means the world to me, the lovely GuardianAngel07! I love you so much and I know that you're going through a lot right now and I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what, and I know that you are busy and have a lot on your mind, and I just want you to know I'm never mad if we don't talk for a while! I think you get a little worried and feel guilty when we don't talk, but that's not it at all! I care for you so much and if your mental health needs you to take a break, then TAKE that break, honey!!!1! I'm always here to support you and I want what's best for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally!! I care for you a whole lot, okay? I'm always in your corner!!! I'm sorry that this fic isn't what I originally planned to gift to you (the original was much sweeter!! and less angsty!!) but this was the one that was most finished and I figured that anything with our lovely KHR boys would help to cheer you up! I hope you like it!!,, Uhm.... I've also got a lot planned! I released a LONG hannibal fic on AO3 and it's not the best bc I started it 2 years ago.yikes... but I'm finally gonna write for it again after a year but I'm going to revamp it (at least fix the grammar!) before I release it here! It's v violent and prolly gonna get really sexual too, so there's a warning, but i'll warn again when I actually post it. to be truthful, I had this almost fully done for months. I just hated it and hated it and hated it. I've been hating my writing a lot recently which isn't good bc I want to finish a book before I graduate and I'm taking an AP english exam on the 16th, so it's awful timing. I haven't been doing the best but I'm looking forward to summer........ only 18 more days left before I'm free.... then I have summer then I'm a senior and ..yikes....;;; but I've got some summer plans! I'm going to cut and dye my hair (I just realized nothing is stopping me from getting a Guzma cut and dye... then I can dye my hair pink!! and any other color after!!!) and I'll visit a friend in alaska, then I'll get a job somewhere.......... i got no college fund........... sorry for dragging on and on!! uhhhh just expect more from me (hopefully soon..... @GuardianAngel07 i hope ur ready for more awful songfics from me.... because i've written some reeeeaaaaallll angsty and sad ones, already with u in mind!! why do you always get the worst of the bunch.......,,,) love u all! and please leave a review if u enjoyed this! I seriously would've stopped posting all together if it wasn't for some incredibly kind people (looking at you, GA07!!) and a recent review for my hannibal fic on AO3 (or rather, reviews. yes, this person left MULTIPLE. very detailed and heartfelt, and I was giddy for days after!! So if you want more, PLEASE leave a review!! it's not fun to post and feel like you're just yelling into a void!! yell back at me!)
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You were the right way I was just waiting for you to look at me Is there a wrong time? Baby, I’m guessing Just let me know He can never get a break, can he? Gokudera sighed, smoke curling past his lips into the chill autumn air. The leaves were just beginning to change color and he cursed how the light cast amber shadows over the smooth plane of your face, cursed how he couldn’t trace the honey light with his fingertips and kiss the darkness away. His tongue clicked against his teeth and he took another drag of his cigarette. Hayato tried to ignore you. He really did. But how can he, when you look as good as you do with a rose-pink blush that covers your cheeks and ears when someone cracks a joke that makes you laugh until you can barely catch your breath? How your jaw drops open in delight before you remember where you are and hide your smile with your hand– something he desperately hoped you would lose the habit of because, god, did you look pretty when you smiled– and blot away the joyful tears in your eyes? How could he not give you his complete, undivided attention when you were as sugar-sweet as you were? His jade eyes flickered back to you again, almost against his will. Your face was bright, eyes glinting in the soft light of the dying afternoon as you teased one of your friends, grinning widely as they swiped playfully at you in return. Gokudera groaned and his head slumped back against the pillar he was leaning against a little too quick, sending an unpleasant shock up his spine. “Shit,” he hissed, stomping out his cigarette on the concrete behind Namimori High and massaging the back of his skull gingerly. What a day. First, Tsuna and Yamamoto had nearly been killed on their way to school again; of course, Gokudera saved both of them, although Yamamoto he saved slightly more reluctantly. Gokudera was strong– of course he was, he wasn’t Tsuna’s right hand for nothing. He just wished he could prove to you that he was strong enough for you, too… Then, that bastard that patrolled the school like some kind of obsessive freak was on his back again. Something about being late for class. Reborn showed up and solved the matter rather quickly, but that didn’t keep Gokudera from steaming out the ears for another hour or so. But the worst part of the day? It was definitely you, without a doubt. You filled his head, turning his thoughts and coherency to cotton in his head and made his mouth as dry as summer. Summer… Gokudera remembered, during lunch period, that you had gone to the beach with him and his friends. You wore a red bathing suit. Red as the fireworks at the summer festival, where he almost told you his feelings but panicked at the last second– but that was a story for another time–and, at one point, clung to his arm to whine about how hot the sun was, and how you were definitely going to get a sunburn. When Gokudera grumbled something back to you about reapplying sunscreen you had winked at him, grinning wide and asking if he wanted to help you with that. By then, there was no doubt in his mind that his milky skin was as red as your bathing suit. From his blushing, dazed haze, you managed to squeeze a frozen lemonade and a plain vanilla ice cream out of him and his wallet. “Share?” you gently cocked your head to one side and held out the icy drink for Gokudera to taste. His mouth was incredibly dry, as it always seemed to be around you– damn you, and damn him for being so weak for you– and he hesitated. You sipped your lemonade languidly and blinked up at him, heavy eyelashes fluttering and all doe-eyed, and his chest clenched in such a way that it brought him agony and ecstasy in equal measure. “Hm?” you hummed, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth to deny your offer when a heavy stream of melted ice cream rolled down the side of the cone and over your hand. A surprised yelp and a curse left your throat as you hurried to clean the treat off of the cone. When you switched the cone to your other hand to lick the drops of vanilla from your palm, Gokudera’s brain snapped back to being fully functional and he hurriedly agreed to sharing with you. As you complained once again about the heat and the lack of more interesting ice cream flavors at the snack bar, Gokudera thought of how silly he was being for thinking of sharing the ice cream as an indirect kiss– an indirect tongue kiss, more accurately. But more honestly, it was more like the two of you just swapped spit–but that’s not a very pleasant thing to think of, no matter how much he liked you. He wasn’t in middle school anymore; he shouldn’t be so swayed by this! He shouldn’t feel so hot and his heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. A cool ocean breeze swept your hair away from your face as you shook ice chunks in your frozen lemonade, loosening them enough to drink. Gokudera turned his gaze to the clear blue sea, his friends wading in it, and the lazy scrawl of puffy white clouds across the sky and he wondered if he could gather the courage to ask for a sip of the lemonade, too. If he was only going to get an indirect kiss, he wanted a proper one. Slowly coming out of his reverie, Gokudera realized he had been looking at you the whole time. The shade that Namimori cast over him wasn’t enough to cool his embarrassed blush and he hoped you hadn’t noticed. Gokudera nearly jumped out of his skin when something in his pocket buzzed. He fished out his phone– obviously, of course it was his phone. He must be more tired than he thought, to be startled by his own phone. [Baseball Freak] whatcha lookin at? Snapping his head up, Gokudera scanned his surroundings, looking for any sign of Yamamoto. God, how embarrassing to be caught staring at his crush by the person most likely to tease him about it… [Baseball Freak] up here Yamamoto was leaning out of one of the windows of a classroom far above Gokudera’s head, waving at him without a care in the world. It was then that Gokudera remembered why he was waiting outside at all, staring at you so wistfully– Tsuna and Takeshi had to attend an after school remedial session for their poor grades… No matter how many tutoring sessions they both received from Reborn and Hayato and a variety of other eccentric characters that always seemed to appear out of nowhere, they still couldn’t retain anything they learned… especially not math. Shaking his head angrily, the silver haired boy punched out a response to him but his phone buzzed again before he could send it. [Baseball Freak] see something over there u like? I think u do~~~ aren’t they just sooo cute?? >///7///< Gokudera bit his tongue. How dare Yamamoto say that about you?! It was true, he had to admit, but his pride was hurt from being so easily caught, heart read with such dead-on accuracy that he responded the only way he knew how to. [Me] PISS OFF A rich laugh filled the air above him and only served to spur Gokudera on, cracking his knuckles, clenching his jaw, and wishing he could beat Takeshi into taking what he said back. [Baseball Freak] u know, if u don’t make a move, someone else will………….they’re so pretty and smart and nice!! who wouldn’t want to date them?~ Gokudera’s rage calmed, eerily still. He knew that someone would make a move on you if he didn’t soon. He didn’t miss the way that the boys in the class would offer to carry your bags and would do anything to get just a little closer to you to sling their arms around your shoulders, pretending to show you something in a book, and to breathe in your light perfume. Or the way that girls would bite their lips and giggle when you told a joke and how they would bat their eyelashes and tease you and play with your hair just a little too much for it to be considered strictly friendly. Hayato knew he wasn’t the only person looking to add you to his dating pool and he also knew he wasn’t the best candidate to win your heart. It was a subject that often haunted his brain late at night, a miasma of doubt and self-hatred that cut deep into his heart when no one was there to see him cry. He was too loud, too violent, and too crude for someone like you to fall for. Too dangerous. It didn’t help that Yamamoto was the polar opposite of him– warm, friendly, and kind enough to be anyone’s dream man. And it definitely didn’t help that Yamamoto often wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you into his chest when there was nothing else for him to do with his hands. That happened often and made Gokudera more broken hearted than he would ever admit. [Baseball Freak] so? r u gonna say anything to them???? Gokudera had his heart set on you but his brain told him, quite logically, that you would never like someone like him back. Whoever said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was a damn fool. [Me] mind ur business. Up above, there was a sigh loud enough for Gokudera to hear and he knew instantly that he had made the wrong move. He looked up just in time to hear Yamamoto call your name in a sing-songy voice, to see him through weak, orange sun rays, waving cheerfully at you. Gokudera snapped his gaze to you to see your hair bounce with each cute head turn as you looked for the source of the voice. Yamamoto called your name again and Gokudera registered that not only had he used your first name but he added a “-chan” to the end of it– what a double-crossing bastard! You found him and Hayato’s lungs felt tight, but not as a result of his chain-smoking. Your face lit up–your pretty, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous face– and you yelled back a greeting and swung your arms around wildly back at Takeshi, heels lifting off the ground in delight with your ministrations. Hayato’s gaze flickered back up to Takeshi just in time to see the brunet pointing down at him vigorously. Your sight followed Takeshi’s direction and you locked gazes with Hayato. His breath caught somewhere between his throat and chest and his heart pounded against his ribcage, furiously trying to escape this terribly humiliating situation. Just let me know As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened slightly and you gave him an embarrassed, genuine smile as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It was strange; he didn’t think that you had anything to be embarrassed about. You were deathly adorable when excited, even if it was because you were excited to see that baseball idiot. He hoped to whatever higher being that was out there– and he knew something was out there: aliens, at least– that he hadn’t imagined that sweet, pink blush that dusted your cheeks and ears and ran down your neck. He was smiling back at you, equally as shyly, before he knew it. Well, it’s been a long time Since you’ve been lonely So what will I do? You are the right one And I’m just a boy who Is looking at you “Hey, Hayato?” you called. His spine straightened, vertebra by vertebra, at the sound of your voice. You had used his first name– sure, you had been doing it for a while, but still every time you called him so endearingly, it sent hot, smoky electricity up his spine. The way the bed sheets creased under your small body and lazy afternoon sunlight dappled your visage had his head reeling. There you were, lounging and at peace with the world, in his apartment, in his bed. “What?” He didn’t mean to sound so brusque– but then again, he doesn’t mean many of the things he says with his angry disposition. Especially to you. “Why do you turn down everyone that confesses to you? Don’t you want to… well… I don’t know, fool around with someone? I mean, we’re in highschool, this is supposed to be the most reckless time of our lives, right? Why not live a little?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling into your eyes. His fingers itched to brush it out of your face and your own fingers played with something on your phone. Probably texting, some faceless guy or girl, flirting, playing coy and– “Hayato?” He shivered, loving how his name sounded on your soft lips. “I don’t know, idiot. I’m mean, but not mean enough to do something like that to some kid stupid enough to think they like me.” He settles for brushing his own hair out of his face. You turn over on your stomach, “I guess…” Something about your tone when you say that makes Gokudera narrow his eyes in suspicion. Did something happen to you to make you upset? Why were you bringing up this topic now? Why were you bringing it up to him? “I just think it’s a waste, y’know?” you ran a hand through your hair and locked your phone, placing it to the side. Your eyes slid closed and Hayato realized how close your head was to his lap, how easily he could pet your hair and have you doze off in his embrace. You looked sleepy enough anyway– would a little nap hurt the both of you? “Hayato, don’t you know how handsome you are?” you mumbled dreamily. “You could get anyone you want, anyone, and you chose to sit here and do nothing. Why?” Hayato couldn’t think. His head was full of steel wool and his blood thrummed loudly through him. You called him handsome. You called him handsome. When his breath came back to him in a barely noticeable gasp, he couldn’t filter the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “I can’t.” “What?” your eyes slowly opened and you leaned up on an elbow, looking quizzically up at him. “I can’t get anyone I want.” “Why not?” His lungs filled shallowly and he turned his face away from you, focusing on the empty street below, through his room’s window. The sun cast golden light and deep, lavender shadows across the world and Hayato knew that if he looked at you right now, everything would go to shit. He’d see your face; all the perfections and beautiful flaws and you would see through him as if he were glass blown, see how desperate he was for you and how his insides were twisting and trembling in fear and reverence, in equal measure, of your power over him. You would recoil, disgust drawn over your lovely face in terribly sharp lines and you would see how his heart would break over and over again. “Sometimes you just can’t.” Your lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed; he could tell that much by your silence. Unsatisfied with his answer, you huffed and threw yourself back down on the bed, the crown of your head knocking against his thigh. Your hair splayed out around your face, angelic, and Hayato was lucky that your eyes had once again shut to accept the call of the dream world, because if they hadn’t, you would’ve seen how absolutely helpless he looked, gazing at you. So what will I do? His tongue darted out to smooth over his dry lower lip and he felt the faint sting of the thin skin there– cracked. He tasted iron and swallowed thickly. Gokudera wished he was closer to you, so much closer to you than he was, but he was doubtful his heart would be able to handle that. Your breathing started to slow and Hayato found his hand smoothing over your soft hair and you jolted violently, startling the both of you. You stared up at him, eyes full of stars and planets far away, and he laughed airily. He shook his head, silently telling you, No, don’t wake up just yet, everything’s fine. You accepted this without question and closed your eyes again. This time, Hayato gently slid his hands under your head and guided you towards his lap. He arranged himself comfortably on an array of flattened pillows and stroked your hair as you lay, safe and happy in his lap. A single eye peeked at him– slyly, cat-like– before you hummed and shifted closer to him. A contented sigh slipped through Hayato’s lips and he himself started to feel drowsy. In his dreamy stupor, his hand trailed down your face, down your neck, and down, down your arm until he had your fingers gently entwined with his. Sure, it may have just been an unconscious reaction, but the way your hand squeezed his back made his dreams lovely and surreal and hallucinatory, in all the best ways. I tried the wrong way I was guessing Biding my time You are the only One I can picture By my side “Gokudera, what’s up?” Takeshi nodded at the silver-haired bomber as he approached, strangely insightful today with his clear, milk chocolate eyes. The boy in question merely grumbled vaguely, hands shoved deep in his pockets, as if he was fishing for the answer to Yamamoto’s question down there as well. “That bad, huh?” Gokudera rolled his eyes. It wasn’t rare for him and Yamamoto to arrive at Tsuna’s house before the young mafia boss could flee from it, already anxious and sweaty. Today was no different. “Hey, at least you tried, right?” Yamamoto offered a weak smile, knowing how much you meant to Gokudera. His shoulders were hiked up to his ears and Takeshi didn't miss how the hot, red ring on Gokudera’s cigarette quickly crawled down to the filter before he was tapping out another from his near-empty box and sucking on the new cigarette, lighting it with the dying butt of the used one. He tossed the old one down and ground it into the asphalt. Takeshi frowned. The baseball star shifted the bag on his shoulder uncomfortably, his bats for after school practice clinking metallically. “ … I didn't.” Gokudera kept his gaze locked on a lamp post down the block. Takeshi blinked, not expecting a response from Gokudera’s sunken frame. “What?” “I didn't try.” It took Takeshi a moment to understand what Gokudera meant before grimacing with a little more than a dash of friendly pity in his eyes. He shifted his weight from his hip, seeking to comfort Gokudera, but decided against it at the last moment. “Why?” his voice came out in a gentle rasp. Gokudera still refused to look at him, green eyes clouded and trained on a particularly colorful poster on that singular lamp post. Seconds ticked by before Hayato groaned and dragged a hand down his face, pinching his cigarette in frustration with his other hand. “I can’t! I just can’t. I know they don’t feel the same and I know I’ll break if they have to say it to my face. I can’t handle that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle that. God, Yamamoto, I just can’t take that chance.” Being around them is– it’s just too much and too little for me to take– I’m going crazy here, driving myself in circles and spinning out, spinning my goddamn wheels because of them. It’s fuckin’ sickening but I don’t want a cure. I feel so helpless and I hate it, I never want to feel this way again. What the hell did I do to deserve this?” Gokudera’s eyes snapped shut, face contorted in agony. “I can’t tell them. I can’t. I want them to be happy. It’s better this way anyway. I’m not good enough.” Gokudera’s voice cracked on his last word before his declaration faded into the morning’s stillness. Yamamoto was insulted– his best friend talking about himself this way? Not in a million years, if he had any say in it– but Gokudera snapped at him before he could get a word in. “And don’t say shit about me being good enough, because we both know I’m not good enough for them. I’ll never be good enough, Yamamoto, that’s not me. I wouldn’t be able to hold them as much as I should, to kiss their gorgeous fucking face– I wouldn’t be able to be fucking honest, Takeshi. They deserve more than the bullshit excuses I’d spew to cover our fucking asses when we get the crap kicked out of us on a bi-weekly basis. They don’t deserve that.” Silence weighed like velvet over the two of them and the sun was now calling out songbirds, sleepy murmurs from the neighborhood beginning to wake from the heavy slumber of the night. Yamamoto didn’t know what to say anymore and Gokudera put the cigarette back where it belonged: between his lips, funneling poison straight to his lungs. “ … I don’t think it’s like that, Hayato. You’re being too harsh on yourself. I really don’t think they feel that way about you.” Hayato said nothing and kept his eyes glued to that single poster again. Yamamoto reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder, mustering as much comfort as he could before he knew he would overstay his welcome. Hayato needed time to clear his head. “ … I’ll go inside to check up on Tsuna. Come inside soon, alright?” The response that didn’t meet him was enough to know Gokudera wouldn’t get better as quick as that. Takeshi sighed in sorrowful compassion before slowly making his way to Tsuna’s front door, carefully piecing together his cheerful mask yet again. The door shut quietly, and voices and vague, worrisome sounds came from within. Gokudera raised his hand to scrub furiously at his misty eyes, his bracelets clinking together and rings scraping his face and leaving thin, red lines around his eyes. He leaned back against the wall around his best friend’s house and his head banged against the concrete, painful and painfully familiar to something that had happened recently, involving you. “Fuck,” he hissed into the empty street. Class was boring, as it always was. There was nothing that could entertain him that was in Namimori’s curriculum. Tsuna managed to convince Gokudera to take college classes too, so that his development wouldn’t stall (and also because Gokudera being bored meant a bit more trouble for Tsuna, but he was genuinely concerned about Gokudera’s personal growth). But even those classes were much too easy for him. Something that wasn’t easy? Seeing you every damn day and not being able to do a thing about it. Getting closer, getting further, cutting you off completely– he couldn’t bring himself to do any of those. Gokudera tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his desk and sighed, staring out the classroom window into the clear blue sky. He couldn’t wait for summer again but, boy, did he like seeing you all bundled up in wool and cashmere and simply drowning in soft fabrics and cozy patterns. You were so cute with your nose red from the cold, lips burning pink from being bitten so much– he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, no, he would take this to his grave– but what he wouldn’t give to be the one to bite your lips instead, to hear you whimper and moan, just for him, and– A small collision with the side of his head brought him out of his daydreams. Curious and annoyed, Hayato brought a hand up to his hair and picked out a crumpled wad of paper. Who the hell had the balls to throw shit at him? He was still the scariest guy in Namimori (and no, Hibari doesn’t count, either). If anything, he should be terrorizing the rest of the class. Taking a less than subtle glance around the room, he caught your eyes staring at him eagerly. Taking a moment to compose himself, he averted his gaze to your note instead. Of course it was you that threw it at him. Who else? Wanna go to a bakery after school? Kyoko-chan was talking about it earlier and I can’t get it out of my head… I’ll pay if u want!! I want cake~~~ Hayato didn’t hold back the happy grin that spread over his face, sparing a glance at you, impatiently waiting for his reply, before scribbling something in his mostly neat penmanship under your barely legible chicken scratch. No need to pay. But yeah, that sounds p cool. Meet me right after school at the front gates? The teacher still had his back turned to the class, writing something that Gokudera already knew on the blackboard, droning on and on about logs and bases and inverses and irrational numbers or something equally useless. He knocked his hand back and threw from the shoulder, the small, now neatly folded note landing in the middle of your desk. You snatched it up quickly, hiding it just in time for the teacher to turn around and call on one of your classmates to answer a question. Gokudera couldn’t see you unfold the note but your arms were moving under the desk and you grabbed a pencil off the desk too. Gokudera remembered that pencil; it was thin, cute, and pink– with a brown bear on top. The bear held a red heart and its nose was in the same cute shape. There were patterns of hearts and stars in red and yellow and white, and Gokudera knew all of this because Kyoko had helped him pick it out to give it to you for your birthday. He thought giving you a gift with so many hearts was a bit forward– tactless, even– but Kyoko gave him a stern look and told him that nothing he could do would be forward enough when it came to you and, spluttering and flushed, he tried to deny his affections for you but only ended up confessing how he felt about you to Kyoko. Smiling gently like the angel she is, Kyoko let him talk her ear off about you for nearly an hour and a half. She earned a milkshake and a slice of strawberry cake for her bravery. You spun in your chair, clutching the edge of it in your small hand, and flicked the paper back to him. The message was a little more timid, he noticed. actually, can we meet on the roof after school?.. I have something I want to talk to u about, but it shouldn’t take long… We can go straight to the bakery if u don’t want to, tho!!!!! ^v^;; Gokudera recognized how you were trying to hide something from him with your overwhelming facade of consideration. Whenever you felt insecure about something, you always spent time making sure other people felt more comfortable and happy than you were, as if that would make you feel better yourself. A frown carried over his pale face and when he looked up, you were staring at him again. This time, you seemed to have carefully examined his face and your brows were furrowed. As soon as you met his eyes, you jumped, shaking your head and waving your hands to tell him, Don’t mind me, it’s nothing. Gokudera was just about to pen down a reply when the teacher turned around again and began talking to the class, not looking like he was going to turn his back on Gokudera any time soon. Hayato caught your eyes with his green ones and nodded quickly, mouthing ‘I’ll be there.’ Lunch was as it normally was. That is, filled with shouts and explosions and general chaos. However, this lunch period was noisier than it previously had been; a fact that only would have been noticed by the people present if they paid very careful attention to their volume. Gokudera noticed. Damn right, he noticed. Sure, you usually sat next to Takeshi. Sure, you had a habit of clinging to him as you laughed and whispering in his ear. And sure, sometimes you would call him Take-chan as you fed him bits of your own bentou– a fact that pissed Gokudera off endlessly. But what was different? Today you were nestled in Yamamoto’s side, tucked neatly away under his arm which alternated from wrapping around your shoulders to hold you to him and pulling you in by your waist to bring you nearly onto his lap. It stung Gokudera something awful. Watching the two of you laugh and whisper to each other felt like you had run Hayato’s heart over shrapnel and soothed his wounds with lemon and salt. He averted his jealous, but startlingly gentle gaze from you to the sky above you, willing tears not to come and cursing himself for feeling this way about you. “Hey, Take-chan!” You tugged on his shirt, the fabric over his chest, to bring his attention back to you. “Hmm?” You stole a glance at Gokudera and whispered giddily into Yamamoto’s ear. When you’re finished, Yamamoto made a sound that can only be described as pure elation, and he tugged you in even closer, tickling you in the process. You laughed and shrieked at him to stop and he only did so when you’re nearly in tears. Tsuna is having a muted conversation with Gokudera and he is trying to pay attention– honest– Gokudera is trying so goddamn hard, but it’s next to impossible when a grass-green snake hisses low in his belly over you writhing and laughing so happily in Takeshi’s lap. Yamamoto whispered hotly back into your ear and Gokudera sees something he wished he would never see from the two of you: you, with a hot blush crawling up your neck and Takeshi with his face practically in the crook of it, grinning all pearly white and eyes staring at you with such fucking dedicated tunnel vision. Gokudera wasn’t hungry anymore. Lunch ended and you gave Yamamoto one last quick hug before cleaning up your trash and putting everything away that you wanted to keep. Gokudera was slower than normal, taking all the time in the world and then some to get ready for class again. The door to the roof clanged shut and Gokudera let out a heavy sigh, eyes closed and trying to feel everything that he could– everything except his feelings, that is. He relished the cool breath of wind that blew against his face, tossing his hair around and whistling softly to him. He took account of the ground beneath him, hard and sturdy, and the sounds of teenagers filtering back into the school, complaining about their classes and each other. The one thing he didn’t hear–not until it was too late– was you. “Hayato?” you tugged on the back of his shirt, scaring him witless. He yelped like a kicked puppy and spun around to face you, composure long lost. He tried to say something but nothing left his lips; nothing coherent, at least. The hand that grasped his shirt didn’t cease touching him. It got even closer than before as you took a step, and then another, into his personal space. The height difference between you was just too much for him to handle and Gokudera felt himself simultaneously trying to pale and flush, unsure which won over in the end. Your hand slid along his waist, his side, and up his chest lightly. The smile that took root on your face was weak and bashful, even– and you bumped your forehead on his chest before you looked back up at him, an emotion he didn’t recognize dancing in your eyes. “Don’t forget, we’re meeting here after school, Hayato. You wouldn’t want to keep me waiting, would you?” Your finger tapped his chest teasingly, adding another beat to his pulse and he felt fire crawl up the base of spine at your nail scraping through his shirt. You blinked curiously up at him and his voice whispered to you, hoarse and against his will, “No, I wouldn’t.” Satisfied with that, you made sure that he had everything he had brought up to the roof with him, promptly forced him to offer his elbow to you, and curled yourself happily over his arm before leading the both of you down the stairs to finish the rest of the day’s lessons. The roof was empty except for Gokudera. As soon as school was over, he bid Tsuna and Yamamoto goodbye, telling them not to wait up for him. Yamamoto had a big, stupid grin on his face– But when does he not? Gokudera rationalized. There was something about that smile that showed that he knew more than he let on but Gokudera was much too preoccupied with thoughts of you to care. He leaned against the rails, not trusting it to hold him, careful not to put too much weight on it. He took a steadying breath. Breathe. It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. But no matter what he told himself to stop the rapid, staccato drumming in his chest, his anxieties were not relieved in the slightest. He was afraid– god, how he was afraid. What did you want to talk to him about? Did you not want to be friends anymore? Did you grow tired of him? Did… Did you want to tell him you were dating Takeshi? “Hayato?” oh fuck Gokudera jumped. The amount of times you scared him witless was embarrassingly high. “Hey.” You smiled slightly. “Hey.” Something about you was different. Something was… off. The way your eyes drifted from him every other second before coming back to his concerned gaze was unusual, but even more unusual was the way your hands fidgeted behind your back. “So,” Hayato tried to get the words to come out. The light breeze that tossed your hair around your face in a halo didn’t help much, but he appreciated it anyway. “What’d you wanna talk about? I’m hungry as fuck.” It slipped out– Hayato’s cursing habit hijacked his mouth, nerves making him go on autopilot. At least you took it well; your eyes glinted in amusement and some of the tension between the two of you dissipated. A pink tongue darted out to soothe your dry lips and Hayato was a little too aware of it. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while, but I just didn’t know how to tell you– it’s a bit… embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me, okay?” Your mouth was set in a firm line, eyes pleading and vulnerable. “Sure.” That wasn’t the reply you wanted but it was what it was. By my side “I…” you began, then lost the words you had planned. “You?..” Gokudera offered. He wasn’t sure he was ready for what you wanted to tell him or what it entailed, but he was sure that if it meant your happiness, he would do anything at all to keep you smiling. “It’s just that… You know, I–” you fumble over your words, frustration visible on your face. Gokudera scolded himself for thinking of you in this way when you so clearly don’t want him but he can’t help it. He’s worried over your affect on him before, but he never considered how weak he is to you or how strong your natural beauty is under the glow of a late afternoon and the crinkle of your brow with your courageous efforts… courageous efforts that you try to spell out but they fail, perched above your tongue. Your soft hands come down in frustration upon the hem of your shirt and you try again, slip again, and Gokudera is privy to the realization that this isn’t something he should take lightly any longer, no matter how much it calms his nerves or keeps him from facing the possible reality of him losing you. He leans forward to grasp your hands from distressing your shirt, to keep you from distressing yourself, with full knowledge that this moment could be the end of you allowing him to be graced with your presence. Hayato decided that your momentary comfort before unleashing hell on him was worth more than a thousand lifetimes of you by his side in the masquerade mask of lukewarm passion if you backed down from rejecting him now. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” And he touched you and nearly recoiled when your face whipped up to meet his, nearly let go of you because your skin was hot as forged iron and nearly as red. He tried to let go but you wouldn’t stand for it, as you used his hands over your shoulders as leverage to place your palms, clammy and shaking, over his smooth cheekbones and bring his face down to yours. Hayato’s eyes were wide as he met your lips, glossed and smooth and clearly prepped for this specific moment, specific kiss, specifically with him and he could have withered away in embarrassment of his rough mouth and nicotine lungs if it weren’t for how warm you were against him and how securely you held him, despite how insecure you had been seconds prior. Gokudera barely has the brains left to close his eyes on the skyline of Namimori but when he does he sees stars and he kisses you back and there’s a scrape of his teeth against your bottom lip and you shiver and he groans into you and now he’s just as red, if not redder, than you are. A slick noise of separation, then the both of you don’t know how to deal with the awkward intimacy of it, or what to do with your hands, but Hayato managed to gather enough sense– or maybe he’s running on what he’s fantasized on doing after your first kiss together and is on a daydream-guided autopilot– and he brings you into a tight hug and buried his head into your wild hair. You laugh into his chest and when he tried to bring you out to ask you why, you clung to his wrinkled white shirt even more and blindly found his hands, tangled with his bracelets and rings, then laced your fingers soundly with his. Gokudera can hardly believe the kiss happened, can believe he’s still alive even less, but he’s sure you can hear the quickened palpitations of his heart and that notion does no good for his health either. You’re an absolute dream and Gokudera is ready and happy to die right there, but you pull away from him, hands still interwoven, and smile so beautifully that he is sure that angels exist and you’re the vision of seraphim, disguised as human so barely that if you were anymore angelic he would surely fall dead where he stood, kiss-dizzy and sweetly dazed. From his dazed mouth, stupidity falls out. “So what was it that you had to tell me?” You laugh and press a kiss– more confidently this time– to his collarbone. At his affirmative, stuttered, elated hum, you press another and another, up his neck and jawline and chin until you reach his lips again and he kisses you back with adoration and love and his still evolving understanding of your feelings for him. “I’m not sure how to say it any clearer,” you said with a laugh that rang like the church bells that sounded in Gokudera’s head as clearly as he imaged they would on your wedding day, as he pressed his own kisses all over your face and held you close with the intention of treasuring you as long as he had a pulse and then some. “Hayato, I really, really like you.” And that was the day that Gokudera Hayato had come to face the reality, one that he had long accepted, that he loved you more than anything and you felt the same, but most importantly, that you were the right one for him. And that he was the right one for you.
#gokudera hayato#gokudera hayato/reader#gokudera hayato x reader#reborn#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#reborn fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#gokudera
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