#my curtains my star chains the butterflies etc

[catinasink]

ohh fuck feeling feelings and thinking thoughts

[actualalienfauna]

OKAY

Time to talk about my mind palace. Buckle your fucking seatbelts, kids. You’re in for a ride.

So, a mind palace is a ~place~ you can construct in your head. Super descriptive, I know. It can be anything; a castle, an island, a forest, whatever. The important thing is that they are places in your head that you can “travel to”. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might make one, like making a place to escape or meditate, as a method to compartmentalize memories to access them easier, as a mental exercise, etc. Everyone has their own. 

I made mine for the three reasons I listed. The initial plan was to build it to help my memory, but over time I turned it into a beautiful haven in my head that I’m quite proud of. It is an embodiment of my personality and I just wish I could literally show you what I’m seeing. I shall try my best to describe it, though.

SO. Let’s take a tour. We’re standing on an island, about ten acres in diameter, in the middle of an endless ocean. In the water, there are bioluminescent corals, plants, and animals, all of which are multicolored and visible from land. The whole world is in a state of perpetual night, but it isn’t dark. The sky is full of stars that gently illuminate everything. On the island, there is a stone gazebo, a covered dock, a grove of trees, a large boulder jutting into the ocean, and a subterranean library. 

Let’s start our journey at the grove. It is probably my favorite part of the mind palace at this point. It takes up the majority of the island, about half to be precise. The largest tree is the memory tree, which looks like a combination of an oak and a banyan. The rest of the trees are weeping birch. Animals made of light walk among the them. At the base of the memory tree is a gray stone alter covered in moss; the shrine to myself. I made it as a place to honor myself, since I have the tendency to suck at that. I have symbols of my life and passions on the alter, such as a model solar system made entirely of gold and multicolored crystals, the skull of Lucy the Australopithecus, a crystal pyramid that gives off a gorgeous colorful glow, and a crow that just kinda hangs out around the grove. There are multicolored glass lanterns hanging from gold chains in the trees, and I’ve started putting memories in them. Those memories are important, but not quite as important as the orbs floating between the branches of the memory tree. The orb memories are my most treasured, and are sorted based on the intensity of my emotional response to them, starting with the most tame at the bottom and the most extreme at the top. They’re all positive, for the record. I have to climb the tree to access them, but the process of climbing is a form of meditation for me and helps make the memories clearer. The orb at the very top of the tree is the memory of meeting my love in person for the first time. (He said “I’ve been waiting a long time to do this” and then kissed me, like FUCK)

Now, lets travel across the field of beautifully-scented wildflowers to the gazebo. The flowers are in abundance and feed golden honeybees and butterflies. The structure used to be made of white marble, but I changed it to gray mossy stone in order to match the alter. It’s a domed structure with six Greek Corinthian style columns supporting the roof. On the underside of the dome, there’s a star chart with zodiac imagery in the style of Renaissance-era astronomical drawings. The details of the chart are gold, and is laid on top of midnight blue goldstone. There are warm toned glass lanterns hanging from gold chains attached to the ceiling. Each chain is connected to a star, so the placement is pleasant. There are cool toned sheer curtains hanging between the columns, each with stars and moons stitched into them with golden thread. There is an emerald green fainting couch in the center of the room, which sits right in front of the trap door (I’ll get to that later). It also has polished ebony claw feet. There are more multicolored lanterns placed around the floor, and a variety of plants fill the room. 

Next, I’m going to lead you down the path to the covered dock and the large boulder. Tall grass and Pictish style stones surround us, as more of those shiny animals walk around us. The dock is made of polished ebony too, with a pyramid shaped roof. It is about the size of a boxing ring. There are hundreds of firefly-sized lights floating beneath the roof. There are two carved wooden lounge chairs with cushions the same shade as the couch in the gazebo. There are more plants in here, too. The dock extends beyond the roof, reaching out over the water, where the bioluminescent sea life is visible. There is a vintage telescope sitting at the end of the dock, too. We’re going to walk to the boulder now, down a barely-visible deer trail. The boulder is about the size of an 18-wheeler. I laid out pillows and blankets under a weeping birch tree that is magically growing out of solid rock. This is the least-developed part of the island at this point. We made a brief stop here, but it’s time to take the same path back to the gazebo.

I mentioned the trap door earlier, and now it’s time to open it. It is also made of ebony and has a large gold handle. A spiral staircase decorated with rainbow mosaic leads underground; the entrance to the library. The library itself is beautiful. It is essentially a combination of The Old Library at Trinity College, The Royal Portuguese Reading Room, and Bibliotheca Joanina. (Google them, you won’t regret it.) There are a LOT of colorful painted accents and more of those multicolored lanterns, both hanging and not. There are couches with violet and royal blue cushions placed throughout, as well as golden statues of animals of all sizes with colorful jeweled eyes. On the floor are antique rugs, and hanging from the walls and ceiling are multiple species of vines. The memories are stored in leather-bound books and are sorted based on importance, people involved, associated emotions, and actual experiences vs. learned information. It’s a complicated system and is the one part of my mind palace that I can’t really articulate. Near the back of the library, there is a second trap door, which leads to the dungeon. This is the place that I store my traumatic memories. They are literally locked in a cage, keeping them from bothering me most of the time. There are jailbreaks, but I have pretty solid control over them at this point. It’s been a tremendously helpful addition to the place as far as taking control of my mental health. Let’s leave the library now and end our tour back in the grove, where we’ll say goodbye.

The island is always a pleasant temperature and smells like the very essence of the color green. It’s a little slice of heaven in my head. I come here all the time and find so much peace in it. It’s calming, it’s colorful, and it’s almost everything I want in a world for myself. The only thing that could make it better is if I could bring my love into it with me.

You might have a few questions. I’m guessing you might be wondering how I built it? It was a difficult process and has taken me years, but it started with visualization. One day, I just started imagining my memories in books (don’t ask me why, I don’t know). I have hyperphantasia so I am really good at visualizing things in my head. I needed to construct a place to store the books, so I created a room for them, adding more and more details as time went on. I imagined every detail of the library, over and over again, for months. Once that was solidified in my head, I decided I wanted an exterior. So that began the same process, but with every other part of the island. I’m still working on it, and probably always will be, because I find it mentally stimulating and really relaxing at the same time. 

I’m not sure how to end this, I’ve been writing for like two hours. I’d be happy to answer any questions if you have them! Also I’m going to write about each of my inner worlds eventually. The house is next.