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jodilin65 · 33 years

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1991 I’m so bored and impatient and excited! I want to hurry up and check out that apartment. I hope Peter (the owner), who said his cousin’s undecided, gives the place to me as I know I want it for damn sure. I don’t know if I remembered to write about that before, but I guess his cousin, who’s getting divorced, saw the place and may be interested. I hope not. Yesterday, Kim spoke to Peter who said his cousin was still undecided and needed another day or two. That may be a good sign, though; him being undecided. Hopefully, he’ll go back to his wife and kids or maybe move out of state. Kim, however, seems to think he’s more on our side and would never have bothered to discuss it with us in the first place or have us come see it if I didn’t stand a chance. Let’s hope his cousin’s made up his mind for the better today!

Also, I hope the guy who’s in there now moves out before April 1st. The sooner the better.

All I’ll have to take care of, besides physically moving there will be SS, The bank, fuel assistance, and whatever happens with the police exam I passed. I also need to follow up with my doctor’s appointments as I should have done a long time ago. I’ll need a new asthma doctor and I need to see a GYN for this fucking yeast infection I always seem to have. I also need a dental checkup. I need to call fuel assistance anyway to find out what the hell’s going on with my checks. I really need them and I’m sick of waiting.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 1991 God, that apartment has so many features, that upon reading back a few pages, I realized I forgot one - ceiling fans.

I’ll write more about the apartment later but first, I passed the police officer exam!!! And can you believe I passed with 81%?! I wasn’t too sure about that test for a while and you know how I suck at math. Tammy even said not to be upset if I failed cuz they’re tough tests to pass.

Everyone’s now asking what’s next and I guess what’s next is I just wait. Wait and see what they say and if I move what they say.

So, that night at Kim and Mark’s place, Kim played the piano and I sang and played the piano, too. Kim is an awesome piano player. I would listen to her play songs without looking, then I showed her how I play by ear. She would play songs while I’d sing along. It was a lot of fun, then after a great home-cooked dinner, we went to the Hampshire Mall. At first, I told myself, you can look, but you can’t buy. Then I said to myself, wait a minute. I’m not buying a new stereo yet. I just got into a band that looks promising. I haven’t bought anything but Gloria’s new CD since last August. Fuck this, I’m going shopping!

So I did, and with perfect timing too, as I got a fantastic deal on this beautiful party dress. Or evening dress, as you’d call it. It’s perfect for performing. It was regularly $54 down to $10 and it’s a little big. It’s a 7/9 though I’m a 3/5 but for $10, I’ll make it fit. I’ve got to hem the sleeves and take it in, in the bust area since I’m so small, but it fits fine at the waist. I also bought a red skirt with a wide black belt. It’s the ruffled kind of skirt I like. Also, two pretty journals at a pretty nice price.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 1991 Due to my being up 21½ hours the last time I wrote, I never got to write more of my good news. Yes, believe it or not, I’ve got two fantastic things to write about. If all goes well with both of them, this will be my year for record-breaking luck and happiness and things going my way for once. I deserve it and I have a good feeling as far as both of these things go. Once again, I know I can count on my feelings.

I even called Anna B about my good news and she was happy for me and said she would like to get together with me. I told Jim and Jai about it, too. Steve said, “What did I always tell you about you wanting to be a singer? I told you it would all work out.”

He also told me it was so nice to see me happy. It’s great to finally feel this way. My horoscope was hinting at this the day before Susie told me I was in the band and now it’s hinting about the so-called relationship coming up soon in March. I guess it’s in mid-March. That’s what that psychic astrologer said over the phone. I think maybe Steve can foresee things too, as he said he feels I’ll hit the peak of fame by 1996, and then after that, I’ll meet the “right” woman. I never told Steve that year was the year I felt this would be the year, as well as the psychic astrologer. Also, he always said he felt I’d move before him and I may very well be moving. I’m 80% sure of it and that’s my other good news but I have something to say first as far as my predictions. I’m always either right or very, very close. I always had a feeling I’d get in a band by accident when I least expected it and always felt it may happen at home. I always felt that cuz I’m a homebody 95% of the time, fate would lead it to me at my door and then I’d take it from there. I was right all along on that one, too.

Later…

I took a quick break to talk to Brenda, a bite to eat and a cigarette, but I forgot to mention speaking to Mary D. I called there and said, “What’s up, butch?”

She goes, “Who’s this?”

And I said, “Just cuz it’s been a long time, do you think I’ve forgotten about what happened?” So, I expected her to start screaming at me and cussing me out and threatening me but she was friendly. I know it was sincere too, and not a trap.

She said it was done and over with and she just wanted to be friendly and I said if she wanted to fight, I’d fight her, but if she wanted to be friends, fine. I’ve got to call her back on Tuesday night and I’m simply going to tell her what I wasn’t able to tell her years ago. I’m just not into dykes as lovers. Being friends is one thing, but if they’re gonna be in my bed, they must be feminine.

The night I made prank calls to her while Margaret, her sister, was in the hospital in labor was wrong, and I can see if she came over to yell at me to knock it off, but you don’t try to beat someone up and trash their apartment over shit like that. Therefore, of course, I’m gonna fuck her over. Mary knows I did not hurt her, I simply restrained her but if she’d come back a second time I would have destroyed her. I’d have kicked her ass to Japan.

Ok, now I’m going to get on with my other good news. As I mentioned before, I feel as if I’ve known Kim for years. And her husband, too. I’ve only known her a few months, but if I gave her my keys to take care of Shadow if I was to go away, I know I could trust her.

She knows how desperately I want to move and why I decided not to go to Arizona or Connecticut, and now I have the band, too. So, one day she told me to come see her place which is one out of only two apartments on the top floor of a 3-story office building. She told me the guy could easily ask for $1,000 if he wanted to but cuz of who they are in town, they could have it for $525. Jesus, you’ve got to see this place before you can believe it! And I thought my place was huge and beautiful. My place is a joke. It’s 1200 square feet with a washer and a dryer, Jacuzzi, dishwasher, trash compactor, central AC, burglar alarm, sprinklers, and a microwave that’s better than mine. Everything is so glamorously modern. I don’t mean just plainly modern, it’s beautifully modern. It has skylights, too. Everything’s electric and I assumed the heating bill would be $50 - $100 a month, especially with cathedral ceilings, but she showed me both her electric bill and heating bill and they were both around $23. I know I’d be saving on the monthly charge on the phone bill as they do not offer 3-way or call-waiting and call-forwarding out there in Deerfield.

I called Tammy and told her about it and she seemed interested. I told her everything I just wrote and that Deerfield’s 40 minutes away. It’s like Longmeadow where everyone knows your name, but it doesn’t seem to have that stuck-up attitude like most ritzy towns do.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1991 I have got the news of my life!!! The news I’ve been waiting for for 25 years! I got in that band with Susie!!! Yes, I really, really did! I feel as if I’m dreaming such a fantastic dream that I can’t wake up from, but this is all real. It’s really happening. The band’s name is ERA and there are 5 people in the band besides me and Susie as the singers. She’s going to be taking me to a recording studio to meet the other band members. When she’s gonna do this, I don’t know. She’s going to call me. They perform 2-3 nights a week starting March 9th and she said I could expect to earn $600 a month on average. That’s $1,221 a month, counting my SS and Bill!

I called everyone about it including Tammy, Mom, Andy, Brenda, Steve, Philip and Martha. Next, I’ve got to tell Jai and Jimmy.

Believe it or not, I’m not done with the good news, so let me now mention that I saw Kim’s apartment. Man, is it huge!

I spent the day with her and her husband Mark who’s a cop in the town of Greenfield. They live in South Deerfield. I felt an unusual, yet immediate comfort with him and felt as if I’d known him for years like with Kim. Many people have told me that they’ve felt as if they’d known me for years, but you know me. I feel as though I can truly say that about someone once in a lifetime. Then again, I also know someone’s character the second I lay eyes on them. Besides psychic vibes, I’ve had a lot of experiences.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1991 I feel shitty, so I’m not going to write much. I couldn’t fall asleep till almost noon yesterday and I had to get up at 6:00 and then an hour later I went grocery shopping. I have felt very groggy all day. Or night, I should say.

Kim called about a vacancy next door to her. She’s going to talk to the owner, but it’ll no doubt be too expensive.

I’m dead tired so I’m going to bed now.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1991 Not a whole heck of a lot happened since I woke up last night at 7:00. I spoke to Brenda briefly, watched a movie while taping another, and talked with Steve.

I am totally wiped out of food. I may go shopping this morning. Brenda’s going to take me, I guess.

Bonny says she’s moving on March 1st and Brenda says she’s moving on April 1st. I feel like I’m losing everybody. Andy’s moving, Brenda’s moving, Jimmy’s moving. Before I know it, Steve will be moving and I’ll be left behind with no one. I’ll be damned, though, if I’m going to move into a project. I don’t care if the neighborhood it’s in is better or not.

About singing, yeah well ha, ha. That Susan girl will no doubt, not come through. I don’t think I can count on anything coming up with her. But will I ever be able to count on anything pertaining to music? Sometimes I wonder. I wonder how I can keep surviving. When I’m gonna break down and lose my mind. I have absolutely nothing to look forward to or to live for. If there is truly a God, I can’t even compromise and sacrifice with him. I prayed for him to take away the right woman and a baby if he must, but to please let me have my music. Why was I dumb enough to keep hoping and believing in the first place? I keep telling myself there’s no way and why, but the vision won’t go away. Why? Why, oh why, oh why? What’s left for me now?

I wish Nervous would call me. I really miss him despite his mouth and his attitude. I have not seen Nervous for many, many months. I called him where he works at the Bucket of Suds Laundromat. He still works at Feinstein’s Leather, too. For the last couple of months I’ve called him, be it by myself or with Fran or Andy, he’s hung up instantly on us but this time he spoke to me. I simply told him I was sincere about wanting him to visit me and that any shit I’ve pulled in the past had been cuz of his mouth and his attitude. I never hated Nervous. Just some of his ways. To tell you the truth, I miss that sucker. I think back in my mind to the days when he was in the worst of his obsession with me on Oswego St. and it really was funny. I really had a lot of fun playing with his head and everyone knows he enjoyed it, too. Anyone not enjoying it wouldn’t have stuck around as long as he did.

What made him flee, though, was definitely Andy. He got tired of competing with him and he knew he could never mean to me what Andy does. And you know Andy and I have had our share of problems, too. Another thing is how I finally let him start meeting my girlfriends if you know what I mean. I miss playing “dead phone line” with him and also the crossed call-waiting game. I wish I could make things like they used to be with him for a while and then get rid of him once I started getting really sick of him again. True, there’s only so much I can take of the guy before I want to kill him.

I want to get some more really heated-up fights over the phone with him and Fran so I can tape them. I need more edits of him. The old ones are classics and I’ll always love them and find them funny as all hell, but it’s time for new ones. Nervous never liked his edits. He just never had that kind of a sense of humor even if they were never played for his boss, among other people. But then again maybe he would. It’s not as if he has no sense of humor. Of course, Nervous is not the type to make prank phone calls, other than the calls he made to me. He never said anything, though. It was simply a case of wanting to hear the girl’s voice that he was so obsessed with. See if I’m home, who I’m with, what I might say. But to call people with funny last names, people you hate or just dial random numbers, no way. It just wasn’t in him.

I can say I’m really quite proud of myself to stick with something besides music or music-related projects for so long. I have been keeping journals since 10/27/1987. I was 21 years old. In fact, I think I’m going to go read back to kill time.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 1991 Well, sure enough, but not surprisingly enough, I woke up with a bad attack yesterday. It wasn’t the worst attack, but it wasn’t very fun either. I had too many cigarettes. I didn’t get up till 7:00 cuz I kept waking up a billion times. I fell asleep near 10:00 yesterday morning and if I had been able to sleep straight through I’d have woken up at 5:00. It’s going to be a heck of a while before I fall asleep and I’ve got Bill coming around 6:30 tonight.

I need to psych myself up to quit smoking again. I hate this feeling of having pressure on me and feeling like I can’t take control. These cigarettes have such power over me and I don’t like it. But then again look at all the other powers and controls I’ve had over other things. I don’t mean just psychic powers either. Speaking of psychic powers, it just gets weirder all the time. It’s developing more and more that it’s almost too hard to believe and accept. My nana Bella always told me that if you have a gift, don’t question it, just accept it and use it. I guess she’s right and I have to consider my “bad vibes” as a gift when I remember the fire.

If I ever do run into Mark B, who set that fire, I don’t think he’d want to look in the mirror for quite a while.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1991 I am now in the ER waiting for Brenda to get her nose checked. It feels good to be here, not needing to be here as a patient for once. I guess Brenda and Bonny were babysitting for Paul and Kathy’s kids and Brenda went to the store and got punched out. Brenda called me from Kathy’s asking me if I would go to the ER with her. Naturally, I said yes since she’s taken me here before, but as I was waiting, Andy came over. Andy and I both figured at first that she went to buy drugs and got robbed or that they just beat her up. According to Brenda, though, she went out to get cigarettes for her and Bonny when a guy came up to her and she rolled down her window. I asked her why she’d roll her window down and she said for all she knew, he could’ve been asking for directions. The guy, however, was insisting that she buy drugs and she refused and his girlfriend punched her in the nose. She also spit all over her window, which I saw and as Brenda was trying to back out her car kept stalling and the girl threw a bottle at her windshield. The windshield wasn’t broken, but you could see that something had spilled out all over it. She insists she wouldn’t lie about that or Gail to me or Bonny and she has mentioned it when she’s done it. Drugs, I mean. Also, I was over earlier and Gail was begging her to get high with her and she kept refusing. Why she associates with people like Gail, I’ll never know. Brenda says, “She’s got problems, you can’t push her away for that.” I said she most certainly could if this girl is only out to hurt her and be a bad influence on her. Gail’s gonna keep on influencing Brenda to get high with Brenda till Brenda dies. Bonny said that and Bonny’s right about that one. When she was on the phone with Gail, I kept yelling in the background for her to go get high with someone else or do it herself. If Brenda’s not gonna be firm enough, then her friends will be. It’s too bad Brenda’s wimpy and has this problem cuz she’s such a good person. Too good a person to have to be going through this kind of shit. She deserves better and she deserves to be better.

Later…

Earlier I was all set to go to bed but now I’m wide awake. I’ve had plenty of cigarettes and I pray I don’t wake up sick.

Earlier I was listening to music when a strange feeling came over me. It was weird as I was remembering the fire we had here a little over a year ago. Then that funny feeling came as I was taking off my headphones I could hear yelling and sirens. At first, I thought it was a drug bust till I looked out my window and saw tons of fire trucks. I also saw tons of smoke coming out of a 4th-floor window. The firemen were on a huge ladder with their hoses. Not surprisingly enough, it’s one of the major crack buildings on Locust St. near the Red Lion Cafe. I just hope no kids or innocent victims were hurt. I don’t think anyone was hurt, though. Also, I don’t think there are any “innocent” people in that building so hopefully, they’ve been evacuated. That’ll make one less crack house on the street.

I’m going to try and get some sleep now. I want to be up by 5:00 or 6:00. That way I’ll have time to wake up, eat and take a shower.

Andy may come over but I told him to call first, and he better cuz at 9:00 I’ll be watching a movie while taping another. Since I can’t tape them both at once, I’ll need to watch one.

Oh, one more thing, Kevin got a subpoena today to appear in court on charges of annoying phone calls. That’s the name this phone is now in. That was Andy’s idea to choose a name from one of the characters of Twin Peaks.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1991 Brenda is a major crackhead. About 3 or 4 months ago, Bonny and Dave got her hooked on crack by tricking her into it. They, I guess, put it in a bowl without telling her what it was. I assume Brenda figured it was pot. Now Bonny blames Dave for this, but I believe Brenda when she says Bonny knew exactly what Dave was doing. I know Bonny’s type and she’s already proven herself a pathological liar to me, Andy, and other people. Let me also say that ever since I confronted Bonny with her lies and offered her a “try” at beating my ass she’s been a major sweetheart to me. I told her if she wanted to be nice, I’ll be nice and if she wanted to fight, we could do it at her place, my place, the hall, outside or wherever. So, anyway, as I was saying, Brenda smokes pot occasionally and used to smoke coke here and there, but quit two years ago. I know Brenda’s no liar and she knows she has a problem and wants to do something about it, but goddamn it, is that all I ever can get?!?!?! Don’t I deserve better for once? All I can get is dope heads, loud obnoxious mental cases or shy, geeky, wimpy type mental cases. Damn, can’t I get anyone both emotionally and financially stable for once? And when oh when am I gonna get someone I’m really attracted to? I’m 25 years old goddamn it. I want to feel that true sexual spark and overwhelming feeling for once. I’m bored with the so-so-looking ones. I also feel I deserve my ideal type of person with the qualities in them I want. Of course, I’m not asking for Miss Perfect, but can’t I come close for once?

Other than Brenda’s problems which are 10 times worse than mine, she is a good person who’s far from ugly and I know she still has true feelings for me but I’m not stupid either. She always comes over saying, “I miss you and I love you,” when she’s horny. She hardly comes over just to visit and we never do nonsexual things together and we never really talk. She’s too quiet although she has been talking more. She told me she noticed I’m talking less and I’ve changed a lot and I don’t push her away as much, then what did she do earlier? Well, yesterday I mentioned I got my hair trimmed and I went over and said she did a good job and Brenda goes, “Yeah, but I’m not in the mood to talk about your hair.” I told her she’s been talking to me non-stop about the fights she and Bonny have been having for the last month or so and I haven’t pushed her away. Or jumped down her throat and hacked her head off. So, I got up and left and she called me apologizing saying she felt shitty from withdrawal.

I have fully accepted the fact that I’ll never get first best, but damn am I sick of second best! That’s why I’ve been spending so much time alone too, and there’s always way more bad than good when I get involved with someone, and there shouldn’t be. That’s how I know I’m with the wrong person. They say when you meet the right person, you’ll know it, and I believe that. I’ve met them, they’ve just been taken or not interested in me. Again, I either do it right or I don’t do it at all. Better to take care of yourself, than to be taken care of by the wrong person.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1991 The last week has taken a weird turn but a nice one, I hope. First of all, I’m definitely not going to Phoenix cuz I just can’t see myself selling every single thing I own except for the clothes on my back. A move should be happy, exciting and adventurous in every way. It should be much more secure. Especially as big of a move as that. Not sad, stressful and miserable, too. You know me, I either take my time and do it right or I don’t do it at all.

Russ and I went to see that mediator who was a very obvious butch. Ugly as all hell, but very nice. Very on my side, too. I simply told Russ that if he drops the eviction, I won’t press charges in small claims court. He did. After getting home from that meeting, I made a stop by the apartment Eddie and Jo L used to live in. Before I begin explaining why I stopped there, let me back up a bit. About a month or so ago I met this girl Susan in the laundry room. As we were talking I learned she’s a singer who has sung quite a bit in Springfield and also New York. I told her I sang and that was my goal and she asked me to stop by but I was on my negative “I give up” streak due to all the shit I’ve been through.

It’s going to be so hard losing Andy despite the differences we’ve had in the past. We love each other to death and always will even though I’ve had many a desire to mutilate him here and there. I hope, however, he goes to Phoenix, discovers it’s all he’s wanted it to be and I can save money and join him someday.

So, as far as Sue goes, I finally said, what the fuck? If I don’t gain I have nothing to lose. I stopped by, left my number with her roommate Jen and she called me when she got in and came up. We harmonized together and it sounded great. She had a cold and I felt I sang a little better but she’s still good and probably much better with no cold. She sings pretty much all over, but usually not in the winter. She has a band and all that and performs 3 times a month. 3 weekends a month, I mean. I asked her how much she usually made a month and she said $1600. I don’t think she meant the whole band, either. That was just her money. She said she did an anniversary and made $200 and that was just in 3 hours. Hey, I don’t care if it’s the shittiest pay as long as it’s singing and not doing nothing or doing something I hate.

Kathy, Bonny’s sister-in-law, trimmed my hair today. She did a great job. She also did a great job on Bonny’s hair and on her daughter’s hair. Kathy trimmed my bangs and trimmed half an inch, straight across the bottom. God, have I got split ends, though! Oh, I’d say 8 out of every 10 hairs are split. That doesn’t necessarily mean only once either. I have some that are split up to 6 or 7 times.

By the 23rd of this month, it’ll be 120 days since the police exam I took so I guess I’ll be notified soon. I always knew I’d make a good cop but I also figured that at the same time, it wasn’t meant to be. Not now, for sure as there’s going to be a default warrant out for me cuz of Jenny’s shit on March 6th. Like I said before, Jenny got all she deserved and I’m not giving her the satisfaction of coming to court. Andy says the cops I know will take care of the warrant. I thought about that, but I can’t count on that.

Most of all, I very well may have flunked that test. You know my math sucks.

I spoke to Jai and Jenny. Jenny’s now living with Jai on Mattoon St. I hope they like it still, but I know Jai hates the landlord.

I left a message for Debbie at PCS to call me. I spoke to her a few days ago and I told her my “feelings” said she was gay, and she is. She’s now on break.

Later…

Andy came over stoned out of his mind but in a good mood. Tomorrow’s Andy’s b-day. He’s gonna be 29. I gave him a card and a bag of hard candy. He’s leaving next month and he’s still saying how much he wants me to come with him. Of course, I wish I could go too, but I just can’t sell everything. Also, even though Jimmy offered to store my stuff in the new house he’s buying, he’s still not sure he’s getting the house and when. He may not get it for several more months.

I thought of calling Philip about storing my stuff but never bothered figuring he’d say no.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1991 Well, I was right about the snow date I predicted right after the big snowstorm last December 28th. The vibe was really weak, though, probably cuz it only snowed 10 minutes yesterday, February 11th.

Andy’s going to Phoenix at the beginning of next month and I doubt I’ll be going, too. My sister and my parents refuse to help me. You know how Ma is. It’s either her way or no way.

Jimmy’s buying a house and he’s offered to store my stuff there, which is nice, but then how am I going to get it cross-country? It’ll take me quite a while to save the money to ship it across. I’d rent a furnished apartment but Andy wouldn’t get an apartment till he gets a job. He doesn’t have guaranteed money like I do from disability (he’s taking the money his folks gave him and he’s going to stay with friends he knows that used to live here, till he gets on his feet). The other alternative would be to sell all my stuff and I really don’t want to do that. The last alternative is to wait and save the money to move out by shipping my stuff and by me flying out but that would cost a pretty penny. I’d have to work part-time for several months like Tammy said. If I do get out there, I’ll work part-time hopefully in a restaurant with Andy. Perhaps I could call Philip, but I seriously doubt he’d help me. I want to go to Phoenix not only for my music, but I need a change. It’s cheaper to live there and it’s warmer but there’s no humidity. Also, it’s great for asthma and allergies and all the apartments have pools and air conditioning.

Tomorrow I am going to see a mediator with Russ about our so-called heating problem that he’s dying to resolve. I told him I know he’s sincere, and he is, but I’m going to tell it like it is. I have to meet him there at 4:00. Brenda’s taking me.

I feel bad for Brenda cuz I know she’ll miss me if I move and that she still loves me. I’ll miss her too, of course, and I love her still, but not like she does. She’s a very honest and sincere person, but I’m not overwhelmed by her looks and she’s not quite my type as great as she is. But of course you know there was something there or I’d never have slept with her in the first place. I’d have only been her friend. She’s far from ugly or a bad person, but that’s the way it always is. They’re either way more into me, or I’m way more into them.

Bonny has been a major sweetheart for a long time now. Ever since I confronted her about her lies and offered for her to “try” and kick my ass.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1991 As usual, I have another horrible cold where I just can’t stop fucking sneezing or blowing my nose.

I really want to perform tonight, believe it or not, but I still don’t feel too good. I woke up at 11:00 this morning with a bad attack that lasted till 5:00 this afternoon. I put my humidifier on, took some Sudafed and drank two cups of tea.

Andy will be over later so I can record his Dark Shadows show, and so we can call Tammy. I’ll write more about what we’re gonna talk to Tammy about later. Right now I have to go pee and make some more tea.

What I had was bad withdrawal too, since I had not smoked for 18 hours.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 1991 I feel like my whole life’s come to an end. In a month Andy’s moving to Phoenix and the only place my mother will move me to is Connecticut. Here I watch my best friend go and follow his dream, while mine gets further and further away. Maybe what I swore was meant to be for 25 years is only a dream I’ll dream and never do. But if it isn’t really meant to be then why is the vision still so damn clear? It gets clearer and clearer all the time. My voice gets better and better but it’s like a tease if I can never use it the way I want to. I never said I wouldn’t work for the music but if I’m never going to be in the right place, then what’s the point?

My mother’s so hung up on controlling me and having me where she wants me to be and doing what she wants me to do. Hey, it’s better than Valleyhead, right? And if anyone’s used to having to settle for second best, it’s me. Some people get everything they want. Some people get some of the things they want. Some people get none of the things they want.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1991 I called and talked one on one with a psychic and you know I believe in them after the “strange” things I’ve done. I’ll write more about what I’ve done another time. Meanwhile, this woman told me everything I’ve always felt. Here goes:

You will try to quit smoking again and fail and you may feel bummed out, but don’t cuz in 6 months you won’t be smoking anymore.

If you ever have a baby, you won’t be a young mother, you may be between 33-35.

Fame will come in 7 years, and when I’m just starting to make it in 1994 or so, I’ll meet Linda. Maybe not Gloria for a while as she’s skittish about meeting new people.

I may live in L.A. for a while, then maybe have a huge home in Santa Barbara.

Be prepared for a potential break-in, in March of 1993. I won’t be living here at the time.

This March I’ll meet a woman with very long dark hair 5’ 2”-5’ 4” and see her on and off for 6 months. The problem will be me as I’ll be unsure, as usual, or thinking, “This woman is too good to be true.”

I’ll meet another woman at the end of this year or very beginning of next who has light to medium brown hair just below her shoulders. She’ll be 5’ 6” and we’ll have more in common, although she won’t be as well off financially.

To me, it sounds like another Kacey followed by another Brenda.

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aajjks · 9 months

Note

Alinaaaa...

My uncle was joking about setting me up with one of his neighbours sons who are close to my age, and my mom responded by saying that I'm still in that phase where I think boys are gross and immature (as if I'm some naïve ten year old 🙄). So I whispered to my cousin that boys my age are immature, and uh, well, my mom heard.

When I said it, in my head, I was thinking 'well yeah, my peers are dumb asses, but there's seven guys who I most definitely find attractive and the eldest happens to be 12 years older than me' plus, there are actors that have been even older than that who I've had celebrity crushes on in the past 🤫.

My mom is staunchly religious, to the point that she thinks music distracts you from God and should be outlawed. She knows that I listen to some music, which she isn't happy about. Whenever I watch BTS videos that make me giggle, she says I'm like a mindless zombie being pulled in by temptation, just because they said something funny to make me smile 🤦🏽‍♀️.

Sooo... needless to say, I've never really spoken to my mom about boys. When she heard me talking to my cousin, she turned around and asked me what I meant when I said I don't like boys my age. My face turned hot and red. I had a loss for words, stuttering and trying to play it down by saying that I don't mind the idea of age gaps and that the Prophet Muhammad had a 15 year age gap with his first wife and an even bigger age gap with one of his other wives. My mom then asked me which men I've been looking at, and I couldn't get this stupid unhelpful smile off my face. Luckily, the topic at the table with my family changed, so I didn't have to answer.

When we got home, she asked me again and tried to pry about which guys I've been looking at. My face betrayed me again and turned red with that dumb smile. I managed to distract her, but I'm so scared that she's going to ask me again.

If she finds out that I'm even vaguely attracted to a non-Muslim, she'll flip! If she knew it was K-Pop related, she'd probably take all my CD albums and merch away and cut off all my access to listening to/watching them. She'll blow things way out of proportion.

She's very clever and she's able to read between the lines a lot, so she'll see right through me if I say something even slightly off. I don't want to lie to her, but how do I get her off my back without saying anything too revealing that'll cause her to do something rash?

Let me tell you something.

There’s this guy and he’s really pretty like he’s really gorgeous- he’s got almost gray eyes and the most perfect smile… and he’s got a stable job too.

And my parents- his mother likes me so they considered him for me, like… his Mother wants me to marry him, the thing is that he’s older than me… & I’m not really looking for marriage right now… so I told my mother that, and she respects my feelings, even my dad so thank God.

But the thing is that you have to talk to your mother and you have to be patient and you have to explain everything… not the fact that you know you’re infatuated with seven Korean men, because she will never understand- just tell her that it was a silly remark you’re not really looking for a relationship or marriage.

#asks

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animeboye · 1 year

Text

New Dragon’s World Chapter 27.5

Chapter 27.5: Day 2 part 2, Burying the Dead The next day, it was early in the afternoon. Kyle was laying in bed with a bad hangover. Sean and Crystal sat on the bed opposite to Kyle and were taking great pleasure in lecturing him about alcohol abuse. Receiving a lecture from two grade school kids only served to irritate Kyle even more. He wasn't sure what was worse: his hangover or being lectured by his younger cousin's friends. Lucas had taken Tim over to Adam's to play. Sarah, Ben, Jackie, and Jessie decided to explore the town a little more. At the suggestion of Jessie, they also decided to check out the bookstore later on. Titus sat in his car, listening to one of his CDs, the cool air from the air conditioner spraying him in the face. He tapped his fingers on the dashboard and stared off into space. He watched as his mother and Eig'nia walked past. He stepped out of his car, locked the door, and followed after them. He noticed that they were headed in the direction of where Drake fought Alex. "Hey! Mom, Eig'nia, wait up!" Titus called out. "Where are you going?" He asked. "Your mother and I are going to go get Theian, Girido, and Rikai's bodies. We're going to take them to the dragon realm to be buried." Eig'nia explained. "I think I'm going to come too." Titus said, inviting himself. "You still don't trust me, do you? Doulstraz, I really am on your side. I'm not going to do anything to hurt her, I promise." "It's not that…I just want to pay my last respects to Theian." Titus explained.

"Alright then, son. We could use the extra muscle anyway. So I think we should first get Rikai's body since his is closer." Said Titus' mom. "That's a good idea. Doulstraz, are you okay with that?" Asked Eig'nia. "Yeah...That's okay." Titus said dully. "Doulstraz, I know how you feel. I don't want to see his face either after what he did. But I know your dad's going to make it through this. Trust me, he will." His mom smiled. Titus smiled back at her and nodded. The three of them reverted to their dragon forms. Their wings unfolded into the hot afternoon air and they took to flight. They flew for a short time before spotting Rikai's body below them. They descended and landed before it. His eyes were shut, his mouth gaped open, his long, forked tongue hanging out of it. Dried blood had clung to his snout. His right wing was draped over his body like a blanket while his left wing lay under him. Titus couldn't bear to look at Rikai's deceased form. Just thinking about the state he put his father in made Titus' blood boil. "So how are we going to do this?" Asked Titus' mom. Eig'nia opened up a portal. She pushed Rikai's body into it and jumped in with Titus and his mom following behind her. Upon arriving in the dragon realm, they found themselves standing behind a cave. Rikai's body lay in front of them. "Hey, Doulstraz, would you be able to carry Rikai on your back?" Eig'nia asked. "I can try but I don't think I'll be able to carry a dragon of his size all by myself." He said. "We'll help you carry him. Now the graveyard shouldn't be too far from here. If I remember correctly, it should be that way?" Eig'nia said, pointing to their right. Titus lay down on his stomach as Eig'nia and his mom pushed Rikai's body onto his back. Titus tried to stand up but he collapsed under Rikai's weight. He tried standing up once again, calling upon all the strength he could muster. Just before he collapsed yet again, the two dragonesses got next to him and helped him to lift the body up. Titus' mom carried Rikai by his tail while Titus himself carried him by his stomach and underside and Eig'nia carried him by his head. He had to pause every now and then to take a breather. For some strange reason, he noticed that his mother and Eig'nia weren't exhibiting any signs of exhaustion. "Hey… *huff huff*…why aren't you guys getting tired?" Titus asked, panting heavily. "Probably because we've had to do this before. You see, Doulstraz, when a dragon dies, that dragon's three closest friends and/or relatives will carry the departed dragon on their backs to the gravesite where he or she will be buried." Eig'nia explained. "I had to do it when your grandma and grandpa died, and your father did the same for his parents." His mom said. "Me and my siblings did it for our parents. But I was the only one to carry my friend." Eig'nia said sadly.

"The youngest dragon of the deceased's clan will then go to obtain a soapstone big enough to carve the deceased's name into." Titus' mom finished explaining. "A soapstone? You mean you have those in the dragon realm?" Titus asked, surprised. "Well they're harder to find here than they are in the human realm. Because of that, the youngest dragons often go to the human realm to find these stones. If they're really young, an older sibling or other relative will accompany them to the human realm. Aaah…and here we are at our destination." Eig'nia said. The three of them came to a small hill. A cave, noticeably smaller than the others they had seen but still of considerable size, lay atop the hill which was covered in many soapstones. They were all lined up neatly in a manner similar to the gravestones in the human realm. "We'll leave Rikai's body here for now. Knowing the gravekeeper, he's probably sleeping away." Said Eig'nia. They dumped Rikai's body next to the side of the cave. Titus opened up another portal and they stepped inside. Once they had gotten back to the human realm, they found themselves a mile away from the motel they had stayed at a few days prior. Titus, his mother, and Eig'nia all ran towards the wrecked building. They spotted the bodies of Theian and Girido. Titus' mom gasped loudly at the sight of her nest son's corpse. "Oh…no…" Her voice shook. She didn't want to believe what she was seeing. She sat down, put her paw over her snout and began to cry. Titus tried his best to comfort his mom but found that he too was beginning to feel sad. He looked to his right to see the destroyed car that belonged to the motel owner. The owner's body had been crushed under his car, his left arm dangling out of the wreckage all covered in dried blood. "Doulstraz!" Eig'nia called. "Yeah?" Replied Titus. "By any chance do you have the human blood needed to turn Saulstrance into a human?" Asked Eig'nia. "Nuh-no…" Titus said. "You've gotta be kidding! How were you planning to beat him then?!" Eig'nia snapped. "What! Mom, do you have any clue what she's talking about?" Titus' mom dried her tears. "Don't you remember, Doulstraz? I told you before that you would need the blood of a human in order to turn Saulstrance into one." His mom said. "Oh, crap! I forgot all about that! Aww no—what am I supposed to do now?!" Titus panicked. Eig'nia sighed. "Will you relax? There is an alternative." She said in an aggravated voice. "And what's that?" Titus asked. "Someone is going to have to cast the spell needed to trap him in human form. Doulstraz's mom, you've used the spell before, haven't you?" "Well, yes I have. But I won't be able to use it again without killing myself." Titus' mom answered. "I wasn't going to suggest that you do it. If you can teach me the spell, then I'll be the one to cast it." Eig'nia declared. "Alright, I will. But for now, let's get these two to our realm." Suggested Titus' mom. Titus opened a portal and his mom and Eig'nia pushed the bodies of Theian and Girido into it. They stepped through as the portal closed behind them. "Hey, mom, why did you say you would die if you used that spell?" Titus asked. "Every time a dragon uses that spell, the dragon who cast said spell loses some of its lifespan." She explained. "Ouch!" Replied a surprised Titus. "Yeah…it's a useful spell but it comes with a very dire consequence. Although, whether or not that is a consequence depends on whom you're asking…" "What do you mean?" Titus asked Eig'nia, confused by what she meant. Eig'nia was silent for a moment. "I offered to perform the spell because after this…I won't have anything left. Because of my age, I assume I'll probably have only 50 years left to live." She said with a sad smile. "So what will you do then…once this is all over?" Titus asked, concerned. Eig'nia didn't answer. She sighed to herself just as they were about to enter the dragon realm. They appeared before the graveyard where they found the gravekeeper inspecting Rikai's body. Eig'nia called to him. He turned around and his eyes lit up upon seeing her. "Well I'll be! Eig'nia, is that you?! Oh-ho! And here I was worrying that you had died! How have you been?" He asked cheerfully. "You know him?" Titus asked. "He was an acquaintance of mine in my younger years." Answered Eig'nia. "Hang on. Why did you think I was dead?" She asked, sounding offended. "Oh…well, uh, you see, I heard rumors that Saulstrance met his end 20 years ago. I was worried that you were with him." Eig'nia frowned, looking more serious. "Actually…" She explained to the gravekeeper everything that had transpired up until her eventual joining with Titus. The gravekeeper, with a look of disappointment on his face, lowered his head and shook it. "I see…if it wasn't for that night so long ago…none of this would be happening…" He said sadly. Eig'nia nodded in agreement, looking away from him. "And these three were followers of Saulstrance, you say?" He asked. "…Yeah…" Eig'nia said softly. "…Well, I should probably get started. Luckily for you guys, I happen to have four soapstones in my cave. I'll get to work on making their gravestones. Now if I could just have their names?" "Girido, Rikai, and Theian." Eig'nia answered. "Girido, Rikai, and Theian…Alright. This will only take a short while. In the meantime, you can look around. Perhaps you'll find someone you know." The gravekeeper said. The gravekeeper dragged Theian's and Girido's bodies next to Rikai's and went back into his cave. "Doulstraz, could you come with me? There's something I would like to show you." His mom said. Titus followed behind her as she walked down several rows of graves. She took a left and walked several more feet before stopping at the end of the row. "Look right here." She said, pointing to one of the stones. Titus sat down. He lowered his head to get a better look at the stone. His eyes widened and it felt as though a sharp jolt went through his heart. His voice trembled as he slowly read the name inscribed on the stone. "An…gela…" Titus said. Titus sat before her grave, silent, looking down at her gravestone. He took a deep breath. He squished his eyes together and reopened them, his head bobbing ever so slightly. "I asked the gravekeeper to make a stone for her…even though we didn't have a body…" His mom explained. Titus squished his eyes together once again. Tears rained down his face and he smiled a rather squishy looking smile. "Thanks, mom…This was the nicest thing you could've done for her." Titus said in a meek voice. Titus stood up and walked from Angela's grave. He opened a portal and was about to step through it. "Doulstraz, where are you going?" Asked his mom. "I'm going to go and get everyone…I want them to see this… I'll be back in a little bit." Time had passed and the sun was about to set. Titus returned with everyone, Rick included who sat in a wheelchair. Sarah was carrying an empty wine box with her. They met up with Titus' mom, Eig'nia, and the gravekeeper who was in the process of completing the gravestones. Titus led everyone down to Angela's gravestone. Everyone stared at the stone, a wave of sadness washing over them. "Ohhh…" Sarah said, beginning to cry. She rested her head on Ben's shoulder as he tried to comfort her. Titus sat in front of her grave, staring down at it. He sighed heavily. He had the saddest look on his face that his friends had ever seen. Sarah began to cry on Ben's shoulder which ended up resulting in Drake crying as well although he didn't understand why he was crying. Lucas approached Titus and squatted down behind him. "You okay, man?" He asked, worried for his best friend. "Titus…I didn't know her as long as you did but I thought she was a really good dragon. I'm sure she would have loved to meet Drake." Ben said, trying to comfort his little brother. Titus nodded slightly. "…Yeah…" Titus turned to Sarah. "Sarah, can I have that wine box?" He asked. Sarah took her head away from Ben's shoulder and handed her husband the empty box. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. Jackie walked up to her, placing her hand on Sarah's shoulder. "It's okay, Aunt Sarah." Said Jackie as she hugged Sarah. Titus rummaged through his pockets, pulling out Angela's scale. He looked at it for a long time. Everyone watched Titus, unsure of what he was about to do. He took the top of the box off and placed the scale inside. He then put the top over it and sat it on the ground. He changed into his dragon form and began to dig a small hole in front of her grave. "Titus!" Jessie said in shock. Having dug a hole big enough to place the wine box into, he reverted back to human form. He picked up the small box and looked at it. He squeezed the box and started to sniffle. "In the human realm, they bury people in these things called caskets. But this should suffice…" He said, his voice straining. "Doulstraz, you don't have to do this. That's important to you! You should—" "No…" He said, cutting Eig'nia off. "It's time that I let her go…" He began to sniffle again. "Aww man!" "Doulstraz…" Titus' mom said sadly as she began to cry. He wiped the tears from his eyes and placed the box with Angela's scale in it into the hole he had just dug. He refilled the hole and patted the dirt. Everyone around him began to cry, Crystal, Sean, and Tim included. "Doulstraz, are you really sure about this?" Eig'nia asked with concern. "Yeah…Besides, I still have something of Angela's…something that I'll never part with…her heart. Angela's heart lives on in me." Sarah wiped the tears from her eyes and hugged Titus. Titus went up to his son who was still crying and gave him a warm hug too. Eig'nia opened up a portal and slowly, everyone began to step through it except for Titus, Sarah, Drake, and Titus' mom. "Aren't you guys coming?" Asked Eig'nia. "We'll catch up with you guys." Titus said. Eig'nia stepped through as the portal closed. The family looked down at Angela's grave once again. "Thank you for everything Angela. I mean it. You took care of me and Sarah when we had no one else to turn to. We owe you so much…and you know, I'll always miss you and it's always going to hurt but I know you don't want to see me sad…Well that's pretty much it. Please be sure to say hi to Theian for me." Titus said. "Is there anything you'd like to say, Sarah?" He asked. "Nothing that you haven't already said." She answered. "How about you, Drake?" Drake smiled at his dad and nodded. "Hi, Angela! I'm Drake! I wanted to say thank you for taking care of my mom and dad when they were as old as me. They've always told me really nice things about you. I really wish I coulda met you…" Drake said, starting to feel sad. "Was that okay, Dad?" Drake asked. Titus smiled warmly. "That was beautiful, son." "Mom, are you going to say anything?" Titus asked. His mom shook her head. She opened a portal in front of them. Sarah and Drake stepped through first. Titus was about to go through when he saw his mom still standing in the exact same spot. "Come on, mom." Titus said. "Alright." She smiled. As Titus disappeared into the portal, she looked down at her friend's grave. She smiled and said… "Goodbye, my friend. I'll never forget you." With that, the dragoness followed her family into the portal. As Titus traveled back to the human realm with his family, he felt strangely happy. Of course he was still a little sad but at the same time, he felt like he did the right thing in burying Angela's scale and giving her the peace she deserved. He realized that he wasn't the only one who had lost his loved ones…all of his friends and family had experienced it at one point. He also knew that they would always be there for him whenever he needed them…and he would always be there for them. Later that night, in the dragon realm a new gravestone was erected right next to Angela's. The grave was freshly dug which indicated that it was made not too long ago. This new gravestone was inscribed with the name "Theian".

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sad-boy-mono · 1 year

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Ima be whiny and rant about my morning getting ready for a roadtrip. Idc if I sound like a whiny bitch IM FEELING LIKE A WHINY BITCH SO

My mom said we'd start packing up the car around 10 (to quote her directly, she wanted to "haul ass at 10") but she didn't even get home from a doctor's appointment until 10:30.

I woke up at 9 anticipating we'd be hauling ass at 10 (I've been waking up at 1pm everyday for the past 2 weeks) and went to bed at 4 (not by choice) so I could've gotten at least a bit more sleep.

I'm already overstimulated cuz I'm tired and now more so cuz we're off the given schedule.

So much time just getting shit into the car.

A CD I got in May is stuck in my dad's car. My dad's car recently was taken into the shop for some repairs. My mom said she brought up my stuck CD. Is my CD unstuck? Nope!

(Also secondary rant but this CD being stuck has caused me so much more stress than it should. It was $12 so not a huge financial loss but it's also my favorite album and the CD is sold out. My family doesn't have a good way to listen to music from phones in our car cuz we don't have Bluetooth and auxcords always end up hella staticy so we use CDs and I was so excited to finally have some new music in the car but I got to listen to it once before it got stuck and won't even play music because my mom messed with it trying to get it out. And then there's the added feeling of when you're upset about something that isn't a big deal and you KNOW it isn't a big deal so you feel dumb about getting so worked up about it because it's just a fucking CD and you could probably figure out a way to download the album and burn a new one but you bought this one from an artist you love and want to support so now you just feel dumb and stupid and wanna cry everytime you think about it and WHY DIDNT THE REPAIR PEOPLE GET IT OUT DID MY MOM LIE ABOUT TELLING THEM? IM SO PISSED. SECONDARY RANT OVER)

I have much less space then I thought I would in the car.

I remembered I'd have to spend a lot of time around my cousins (not necessarily a bad thing. But my social battery is a constant 0%. Also I came out to my uncle as trans a while back and he reacted badly and I really don't wanna be around him :/)

We're on the road and I forgot how loud and bumpy highways are in this shit stain of a country (#americacore)

Also my mom smokes. The smell + open window being loud is not helping.

Did I mention the roads suck? Because the roads suck.

I'm crammed in the back and everytime we make a turn I'm crushed by my aunt's wheelchair.

I love my family so much like genuinely, but being around them is hard cuz they're always up here 📈 all the time and I'm always down here 📉 all the time so being around them is hard due to how our energies don't align for lack of a better term.

Did I mention the roads suck? Cause the roads really fucking suck-

I didn't eat this morning and am hunger. I cannot reach any of the food/snacks we packed

I spent like 30 minutes fighting back a meltdown low-key.

Having boobs is actually such an icky feeling? Like not binding was a good choice but when roads are as bumpy as there are here maybe I should've just worn a binder?

HAVE I MENTIONED THESE FUCKING ROADS-

I don't have the money for Spotify premium (#brokecore)

Also I packed my laptop and every moment it isn't in my sight I fear it is being destroyed viciously (it is literally at the top of the bag pile and surrounded by clothing)

Did my hair this morning and it just like. Wasnt working with me :/

HOW DO ROADS MANAGE TO BE SO FUCKING LOUD WHAT THE FUCK-

Anyways I'm excited for this weekend :]. I'm going to a powwow in my extended family's town and supposedly it's gonna be hella big. We're staying in an AirBnB and it has a lake n shit so we can go swimming n shit. I might have my own room? Idk tho if not I'll live. I got my headphones.

#mono stop talking #mono stop venting #vent #long post

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aevyk-ing · 3 years

Text

Wrote a little thing for all the Jlaire fans out there. Happy Holidays!

It was Christmas Eve in Arcadia and the Nuñez House was almost empty. Ophelia and Javier were at the airport to receive some uncles, aunts and several cousins and Javier’s mother. She was getting too old for travel but she hadn’t met her last grandkid yet.

Claire had to stay at home. She was still grounded but the terms had changed a little. First, her mother wanted to take her phone. She also didn’t want to let her go outside. So Claire had been stuck at home until her friends Darci and Mary decided to rescue her a few days later. She had been reading, diving into the Brief, in you can call it that, Recapitulation of Troll Lore. NotEnrique had helped her with a cheat sheet of the runes and she was now getting the hang of it.

Mary and Darci reminded Claire’s parents of their tradition of going out and see the Christmas lights and the tree. They managed to convince Javier, whose holiday spirit was unparalleled. Then, Ophelia budged, with the condition that they should go too. So Claire was stuck with her parents and her brother following them for at distance, but at least she was out her home.

Christmas wasn’t her favorite holiday, but at least it was pretty. They decorated the center of the city with colored lights and put a big tree next to the kiosk in the plaza (they put it on it for one year and it didn’t end up well). That normally was a fun afternoon, with the three girls enjoying the decorations and having hot cocoa and cookies at the market. However, that time was different. How could she enjoy if, down there, there was another market, full of Trolls? Were they celebrating Christmas too? Or Yule? Was Jim with them? She was too worried about that and looking happy to be embarrassed of having her parents following them. She also looked for Jim everywhere, even though she knew her parents wouldn’t let her talk to him. He was nowhere to be seen. In fact, all the city was there, most of their classmates too, but no sight of Jim nor Toby.

Before she realized, a week had passed and she was now getting everything ready. NotEnrique left his hideout, the basement, and stuck his face in the oven. He then ran to the living room, where Papa Skull was blasting through the speakers instead of the soft carols of Ophelia’s CDs.

“Hey, look at ya. You look smashin’“

Claire arched an eyebrow and put the last fork in place. She was wearing her ‘fancy’ dress, purple and black, and wore metallic hairpins and a bolder makeup. The couches had been moved to make place for a big table. NotEnrique looked at the tree.

“Ya know, I’m not a fan of those ornaments. They say they used to be tastier when they were made of glass.”

“Okay.” was Claire’s only response.

The small green Changeling scoffed.

“Yeah, pep talks aren’t my thing.”

Claire sighed and sat in one of the chairs.

“It’s just... I want to go out and discover that Troll Market. Jim and Toby have been telling me a lot of stuff since my mother returned my phone, but it’s not enough. In fact, it’s making me feel worse!” she said. “I finally have some free time and I can’t do anything because I can’t leave my house and I’ve just discovered Trolls exist! This is driving me nuts!”

Then, the bell rang. notEnrique ran to hide as Claire got up.

“Coming!” she lowered her voice. “Great, they’ve arrived sooner. Let’s be happy for the next four hours!”

But as she opened the door, her heart jumped. There was no uncles or aunts or cousins, not even her grandma Julia. Standing in the landing, with the reddest cheeks and wearing the reddest Christmas sweater she had ever seen, was Jim, holding a tupperware.

“Whoa, oh, hi.” he managed to say.

“Hi, Jim.”

Claire felt her face blushing and not because of the cold.

“Are... are your parents here?”

“No.”

“Oh,” he let out a relieved sigh.

“But we don’t have much time. They could arrive any time now. With my family.”

“Hey, that sounds great.”

She closed her fists. Why it was so hard suddenly? They had been together in the rehearsals and the whole play. Jim extended his arms awkwardly.

“These are for you. I mean, you can share, but I made them... just for you.”

He chuckled nervously. Claire opened the tupperware and saw a dozen of gingerbread cookies in different shapes.

“Thank you!” she exclaimed. “I love gingerbread.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I actually like it a lot. I always have some gingerbread cookies hidden in my room so nobody else eats them.”

She smiled and Jim returned the smile, a soft wind blowing his hair. It was night and the temperature was dropping and the houses in the street were full of people, the windows glowing in a golden light. Despite herself, Claire would have wished to have some mistletoe hanging from the door, just to have an excuse to kiss him. Jim reacted then, as if he had just waken up from a long, and maybe simmilar, dream.

“Gotta go. Tobes is checking out the ham for me.”

“Oh, you celebrate Christmas with the Domzalski’s? That’s so sweet.”

“We’ve done it for... ten years now.” Jim considered it. “Anyway, I still have a lot to do until my mother arrives. Happy holidays or, hum, whatever you celebrate.”

“Happy holidays, Jim.”

They smiled one last time and he took his bike, that has been parked next to the stairs, and pedaled as fast as he could. Claire closed the door and went to hide the cookies in a secret spot under her window. Suddenly, the lights of two cars rolled down the street. Claire’s family went out of them. She sighed, this time in a different way, and didn’t have to put a fake smile on to receive them.

#tales of arcadia #trollhunters #my writing #happy holidays #jlaire #jim lake jr #claire nuñez

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anonymous-swiftie · 4 years

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If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

#swifties #taylor swift #folkore #music #ts spoilers #lover taylor swift #taylornation #swiftified13 #day 13 #pop music #books and libraries #writers #history #musicians #quotes #loneliest #love taylor #hopes and dreams

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fiddlepickdouglas · 3 years

Text

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 14 - Unexpected Meeting

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, who will they run into?, 3.2k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

WARNINGS: death mention, emotional trauma

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

“Man, I need a break,” Reggie was saying as he strolled with Alex down an unfamiliar street in the early evening, stretching his arms. “I mean, being in the studio all the time has been good, but on top of everything else it’s just so much!”

Unsure where they were headed, Alex walked a few paces ahead on the sidewalk, casually navigating for both of them. He squinted as he looked at Reggie.

“Reggie, you dropped, like, all of your classes once we signed on.”

“Nope!” his friend exclaimed, tilting his head in a proud manner. “I just needed two electives to graduate. It’s okay, though, man. Not everyone finishes their math requirements as a freshman.” Reggie patted Alex’s shoulder, as if it were any sort of consolation.

“No, good for you Reg,” Alex said. His parents had paid for all this private tutoring and even gotten him to take some college credits early. Of course, his only serious plan after high school had been the band so it was all wasted effort, but then all of their attempts with him amounted to that. He was learning to feel less guilty over it. It wasn’t his fault they never cared about what he wanted.

“How long do you think Luke and Bobby are gonna be workshopping their parts together?” Reggie asked.

“Long enough. Where are we going, exactly?”

“Oh, I was just kind of keeping an eye out for anywhere interesting.”

Alex blinked. “I thought we were headed somewhere specific.”

“I’ve only been to this side of L.A. like, once, so I don’t think I’d make a good tour guide,” Reggie stated.

And just like that, Alex’s mind thrust itself back into remembering Willie. He was getting better at not crumbling completely in the moment, but it still felt like his heart was temporarily dunked into a dark ocean of misery. It would remain waterlogged and heavy inside his chest for a while.

“Alex?” Reggie was saying, looking at him with concern. “You okay?”

Snapping his thoughts back to the present, Alex sighed as he looked back at Reggie.

“I’ll be fine.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket and pressed his arms against his sides. Shoulders hunched, he continued through the crowd. Focusing on walking would hopefully help it wear off. He made every step purposeful, trying to get the weight in his heart to fall through his feet. Reggie’s hand on his shoulder made him turn.

“It’s still rough, isn’t it?” he asked gently. “If I said something - ”

“It’s not your fault,” Alex tried to assure him. “Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. Besides, I can’t make you and everyone else walk on eggshells.”

“Maybe not, but we’re in this with you. It may have been different for us, but we all met Willie. I’d never seen you warm up to anyone that fast. Even after a few months, it’s still fresh; don’t force yourself to be better for us.”

Pausing on the sidewalk, Alex looked up at Reggie. He tried to smile as gratitude edged its way in, relieving most of the heaviness in his chest.

“I appreciate that, Reg.”

“Of course, man.”

“So,” Alex took a deep breath to let everything else wash away as they kept wandering. “You made it sound like you had a lot going on. Is everything at home okay?”

Reggie shrugged. “Eh...no change there. My mom went to stay with her sister after the last fight, so my dad’s been trying his best to take care of everything, but he’s too upset to handle it well. My little sister has just been sleeping over with friends anyway, and I can handle myself, so - ” he shrugged again, “ - you know, I do what I can.”

Alex nodded. He had nothing really to comment, and Reggie knew he was always there to support him. This wasn’t anything unusual for him, but it still wasn’t right. Neither of them spent much time at their own homes, so wandering through the city like this kept them occupied when they weren’t with the rest of the band. Looking up at the store signs around them, he saw a record store about a block ahead.

“Hey, why don’t we check that out?” he suggested.

“Yeah!” Reggie said, dropping any ounce of gloom from the previous subject and skipping along to catch up with Alex.

A small bell rang as they came through the door, and they immediately began filtering through shelves of records and CDs. Peeking toward the back of the store, Alex could see a counter that offered a menu of food and drinks, some tables, as well as the smallest stage in the world. This seemed like a neat little place.

“Oh,” Reggie started after a while. “I got us a gig playing at my cousin’s wedding.”

“A wedding?” Alex said skeptically, turning from the Pansy Division vinyl he was checking out. “When we’re trying to finish a record and go on tour?”

“It’s Conrad, okay, he’s family! And he said we could make the setlist.”

Alex shrugged, considering that was fair.

“...with his approval.”

At that addition, Alex could only sigh and shake his head.

“And then maybe, you could, I don’t know, finally ask Bobby to be your date?”

Reggie put down the Mötley Crüe album he’d been examining and looked up at him in shock. Alex realized he’d possibly been too blunt. But immediately Reggie began to cover it up, laughing and shaking his head.

“What?” he said, his denial completely transparent. “Was that a...was that supposed to be a joke or something?”

Giving him a look of pity, Alex put his hands on his hips.

“You’re really gonna try to pull the wool over the eyes of your gay friend?”

Caught, Reggie looked back at him in defeat and bowed his head.

“I’m gonna guess you noticed a while ago?”

Nodding, Alex tried to soften his demeanor.

“There’s been something up with you two for months. How come you haven’t tried to talk to him about it?”

Reggie knit his brow and began fiddling with his fingers.

“Well, I’m a little confused by it, to be honest. Cuz, I mean...I like girls, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“But I like Bobby, too.”

“Okay.”

His friend looked up at him, expecting more of a reaction. Alex leaned against the shelf and folded his arms.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with you? Because you’re talking to the king of wrong feelings.”

“Well, sometimes I feel like that, but not really. It’s something else,” Reggie said.

“Like what?”

“Well...we’ve been friends for years. It just sort of crept up on me and I don’t know what to do. What if he rejects it? He’s one of my best friends.”

Thinking for a moment, Alex looked down at his feet. He didn’t blame Reggie for being worried. He’d had a mini crush on Bobby for a couple weeks back in ninth grade and had the same dilemma. It was easier for him to get over, though, simply because it had faded quickly.

“Well, I wish I could say if it’s meant to be it’ll happen, but sometimes…”

Sometimes it dies in a fire before there’s any chance of knowing.

He shook his head to get rid of the awful thought and ignored Reggie’s look of concern.

“But if I know Bobby, I don’t think it’s going to harm anything. I think you should go for it, Reg. I truly, honestly, will back you up on that.”

A smile spread wide across Reggie’s face.

“Thanks, man!”

Without fretting over it for another second, he turned back to the shelf of CDs he’d been perusing, and Alex did the same. There was a crazy good selection, and Alex wished he could get his hands on a record player. Playing CDs on a boombox worked for some things, but there was a level of charm in playing something on a vinyl record that appealed to him even more. He made a note to get a small notebook to carry in his fanny pack, hoping to return to this store and make a wishlist of sorts to work toward.

“Do I see Alex and Reggie of Sunset Curve?” A familiar voice said from behind.

Both of them turned to find Flynn standing in the aisle, braids tied up into a high ponytail and eyebrow arched in her usual smart fashion.

“Hey Flynn!” Reggie exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. Alex went in for one afterward, happily surprised.

“Hey guys!” she said, grinning.

“What are you up to?” Alex asked.

“Gonna be performing in a bit,” she said excitedly. “Just a warm up before the main group comes on. I’ve been working on some of my own stuff; I think you guys would love it! Got time to stick around?”

“Sweet!” Reggie raised a fist for her to bump. “I’m down. Alex, wanna stay?”

“Yeah, sounds great!”

He had yet to see what Flynn was capable of. If he were to judge only on knowing she’d been in a duo with Julie, he expected it to be good.

“Also, you should try the burritos here,” Flynn told them. “They are to die for!”

The endless click-rollll-click-click-click of his board filled his ears as Willie moved through the street, feeling the wind pass over him in the way that made freedom feel like he could clutch it in his hands. He’d actually spent today not worrying about Alex. It felt good not to dwell on what little past he had access to. Of course, he still had repetitive dreams about the few memories that had come back, but the backwards one with Caleb in it hadn’t come back ever since he’d gotten to LA. Moving forward felt...nice.

He had spent the morning sketching at the beach, getting all sorts of practice in. The beautiful waves, seagulls, the different activities all around him. Somehow a group of young college kids had gotten him to join their volleyball tournament. Willie wasn’t sure if he’d ever played it before, but once he caught onto the game, he’d gotten surprisingly good. It felt nice to roll up the hem of his jeans and dig his toes into the warm sand while playing with a group of strangers. They’d nicknamed him Mowgli, whatever that meant. He liked the sound of it though.

Heading off to work after cleaning himself up, he realized he could spend all his free time that way. Peacefully sketching, meeting fun people, and enjoying his surroundings. Was that all it took to be happy? Willie chuckled at the thought of how much Caleb had stressed over rising to the top of his business game, never appearing to be satisfied with any of it. Leaving Vegas remained the best decision he’d ever made. Of course, he wasn’t always proud about his method of burning down the shed, but it had been one of those...heat of the moment things.

Willie skated up to the back entrance and shook his hair out after lifting off his helmet. Just a few short hours of making food, some chill entertainment, and he could peace out for the night. He headed inside the store and right into the small kitchen. Thankfully, the store didn’t fit too many patrons and it was never hard to keep up with orders, and Kyle had a system so he never had to leave the kitchen. This basically meant he could jam to the live music during the lulls between orders with no interruption.

Kyle entered the kitchen just as Willie was tying on his apron.

“Hey, dude, thanks for coming. We actually got two acts coming in, so it should be a full crowd. Katelyn can be the MC for the first bit, but do you mind taking over for the second half?”

A twinge of excitement came over Willie and he lit up. He’d never gotten to try being an MC before.

“Don’t mind at all!” he said.

“Alright, man!” Kyle exclaimed. “First two orders up: swamp style nachos and a bog burrito.”

“Got it.”

“We’re up for a big night with these performances,” the girl hosting hyped up the crowd. “Let’s give it up for our artist of the night: Flynn Taylor!”

Reggie cupped his hands over his mouth as he hollered along with everyone else’s applause. Alex clapped with a mouthful of nachos. Flynn stepped onto the stage behind a set of deejay turntables, smirking as she began flipping switches and turning knobs.

“Thanks for coming out here everyone,” she said into the mic. More applause and whistles echoed through the room. “We’re gonna make a lot of noise tonight, so let me hear you get pumped!”

As she began playing a beat, Alex bobbed along, immediately interested. He didn’t know a thing about mixing, so he was highly impressed with the different sounds she was using. Then Flynn picked up the mic and began rapping and the whole room cheered.

“...I’m a princess, I don’t need a prince, boy I’m priceless...I’m here to shut it down like a night shift…”

“Man,” Reggie leaned over to Alex. “She’s so good! I say we book her to open for us ASAP as possible.”

Alex merely snorted and chuckled at Reggie’s misuse of the acronym. He actually enjoyed the idea of having Flynn rapping to open for their rock shows. Gigs where all the bands sounded the same got a little flavorless sometimes.

“Also,” Reggie said as he took a huge bite into his burrito. “This is the best burrito I’ve ever had.”

“Lemme try some, you can try my nachos,” Alex said.

All Reggie could say was Mm! as he passed the burrito over.

The final beats of the first performer echoed in the kitchen where Willie had been dancing, waving various kitchen tools around. He’d thoroughly enjoyed the whole set, and wondered what sounded so familiar about the girl who was rapping. Before he could spend more time thinking about it, Kyle came in.

“Okay, you ready?” he asked.

“I just keep people busy and then announce the next group, right?” Willie guessed.

“Yeah, man, you’ve got this!”

“What’s the next group called?”

“Downslide. And they brought some merch, so it’s a good idea to mention that to the crowd as well.”

“Okay,” Willie nodded, slipping out of his apron. “Maybe I could put their t-shirt on or something, you know, sell the look?”

Kyle looked impressed. “Yeah! I’ll go see what they’ve got.”

He left the kitchen and hardly a minute later returned with a jacket.

“They said you could wear it for the night. Not gonna lie, I wish I could wear this, it’s a sweet jacket.”

Willie slipped it on, and turned around. He didn’t often wear jackets, but whatever it was made of was pretty soft.

“Guess I’m ready,” he said, giving Kyle a hand slide and fist bump before leaving the kitchen. He stepped up behind the microphone and looked out at the crowd, and further back, the empty store.

At that moment, he heard the bell of the store door ring and two guys walked outside. Through the window, a familiar leather jacket passed. Then, he saw a head of blonde hair follow, turning to look both ways to cross the street, and his heart grew to fill all the empty space in his chest. It was unmistakable. It had to be.

“Alex...” he breathed quietly into the microphone. Adrenaline immediately went out to his extremities. The crowd before him looked bewildered as they waited for him to announce the next group.

Glancing offstage, he saw Kyle give him a strange look. Willie shook his head, unclear what message he was sending but ultimately knowing he couldn’t stay at his current spot. Before he could think anything else, his legs were bounding out the door. It felt like every ounce of blood in his veins knew. The search was over.

Reggie and Alex had just reached the opposite corner. He wasn’t going to miss his chance.

“Alex!” he cried, running to meet them.

He immediately thrust his arms around a surprised Alex, gripping him tightly, burying his face into his shoulder.

“Oh my god, Alex!” he said, panting. “It’s so good to see you.”

He didn’t feel the hug didn’t reciprocate, and instead Alex grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away. The darkness of the street seemed to envelop him.

“What are you - ?” Alex started, staring back at Willie like he’d just been assaulted. Then shock wiped over his whole face. Then confusion. And then a pain came over all of it that made Willie’s concern grow.

“What - what is it?” he asked, all the excitement gone.

Alex wouldn’t look him in the eye, and he raised a hand to hold the side of his head.

“No, this isn’t real,” he whispered to himself, shrinking backward and shutting his eyes. “This can’t be real.”

Willie glanced over at Reggie, who also stared like he was seeing the impossible. He could see Alex shaking and heard a rattled breath, and felt tension grow thick in the air. Quickly, he went to take Alex’s face in his hands.

“Alex, hey, look, it’s me,” he soothed. He fought to get a look directly into his eyes. “It’s me, Willie.”

Finally, the green ocean gazed back at him, turbulent and restless. What once had been a grounding rhythm of waves had turned into a maelstrom of despair. Even worse were the tears welling up right before him. Willie watched the storm rage for a few seconds, seeking for a moment of calm.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured, lowering his hands. Alex looked so wounded it frightened him.

“How are you alive?” Alex begged to know.

Blinking, Willie sat back, astounded at those words. While he agreed it was a miracle he was still alive, he couldn’t fathom why Alex would ask such a question. He chuckled merely out of discomfort.

“I’m here.” Willie glanced at Reggie, looking for an explanation. “Flesh and bone. Why? What happened?”

Alex looked at him incredulously, jaw hanging open. He looked so tightly wound and so scattered all at once.

“Caleb told me you were dead.”

Willie blanched inwardly at the mention of Caleb, but even more so at the rest of that sentence he’d been utterly unprepared to hear.

“He...he - ” he stammered for a moment. “When would you have even talked to him?”

Sharing a look with Reggie, Alex took a deep breath. Then he looked back at Willie hesitantly.

“We see him all the time. We work for him now.”

It was Willie’s turn to drop his jaw.

“We’ve been signed to his record label for a few months now,” Reggie pitched in.

Directing his gaze to the ground, Willie puzzled for a minute.

“Why would I be dead?” he asked, looking back up at Alex.

For a minute Alex simply gazed at him wordlessly.

“I don’t know,” he said. There was a pause as both of them finally looked at each other, fully aware that this was real. And then Alex threw his arms around Willie to return the hug. Willie had to raise himself up on his toes to avoid falling over, and he tightened his grip to remain steady. He felt joy spread through his whole torso and breathed a sigh of relief as hands tangled into his hair. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m so happy to see you.”

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #fanfic #jatp fanfic #willex #alive au #sunset curve #alex mercer #willie #luke patterson #reggie peters #bobby wilson #julie molina #flynn taylor #caleb covington #viva las vegas #unexpected meeting #fiddlepickdouglas

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palimpsessed · 3 years

Text

Writerly Ephemera

I was tagged by @amywaterwings @mostlymaudlin @tea-brigade @effing-numpties @captain-aralias @bloodiedpixie . This is so cool, so thanks for sharing yours! ❤️

Per Amy: We add little bits of ourselves to our writing, scattering memories and places and phrases and things into our stories. The game is to find five examples of this, of YOU, in your writing and show everyone.

I don’t really feel like I put much of my own experiences into my fic, probably because I don’t feel like I have a lot of experiences to pull from. (That’s not me being self-deprecating; that’s me never going anywhere or doing anything.) So, let’s see what we come up with!

Going to tag here. I feel like I’ve gotten to this late so I’m not sure who has been tagged. Anyway. No pressure, loves. Just saying hi. 🥰 @theflyingpeach @bazzybelle @otherworldsivelivedin @unseelieseelie @wetheformidables @caitybug @nightimedreamersworld @foolofabookwyrm @stillmadaboutpetra

1. I have put the most of myself into A Man of Letters. I have my degree in English Lit and when I was in college, I was at the height of my Jane Austen obsession. So I sort of built my degree around the development of the English novel. My senior thesis was on a book called Evelina by Frances Burney, who was one of Austen’s greatest literary influences. Evelina is an epistolary novel—told entirely in letters. I love the epistolary form, for the same reason I love dialogue and texting fics. It’s such a fun narrative technique and can reveal so much about individual characters. It’s actually a bit like the way Rainbow Rowell uses multi POV in her books. Anyway, my love of the epistle was on full display in this fic, which is ofc told in letters. —Do I share a passage? That’s like...the whole fic 😅 So, idk. Here’s Simon being a disaster as he meditates on letter writing:

Dear Penny,

As I start this letter, I already know I'm not going to post it. I know I won't be able to bring myself to do it, because of what I have to say to you. I do feel bad. It's not that I don't want to tell you. And you know I'm so much better at writing things down than saying them out loud. It's only that I feel like this would all sound better coming from me in person. I just don't think I'll be able to make you understand in a letter. I'm still trying to understand myself. And writing all of this down helps me with that. Even if I'm only pretending to write to you, it makes me feel better, to think of you on the other end. I promise I really will tell you everything as soon as we're together again.

2. Also for A Man of Letters, my fascination with Regency fashions, in particular the dandy, was a major factor. I did an art book about this, comparing how fashion has changed over time, especially in regard to gender. (I also did an art book based on Evelina, since I’m on the subject. I minored in book art. 😁) I always fancied the look of a Regency dandy, so that was my gift to Baz.

Whoever has been working their magic on Salisbury should in fact be the person to whom I offer my eternal devotion. Alas, I am left to flounder under the burden of lusting after a man who is incapable of dressing himself.

The utter and unmitigated shame.

Salisbury wore a forest green wool frock coat that set off the golden highlights in his brown locks. This was accented with a green and aubergine striped silk waistcoat that was trimmed in white piping and felt much too daring a pattern for the man. (I don't care if he was a soldier; it takes a hardier man than him by half to choose a stripe like that.) His charcoal trousers were enticingly snug, but not so much to prove lethal. His cravat and points left much to be desired, though that likely reflected poorly on his ability to keep himself in order, rather than the ability of his valet. (Good God, maybe the man doesn't even have a valet!)

3. When it came to my countdown fic, To the Manor Borne, I had Shep make a reference to Cluedo, because Pitch Manor would be perfect for a real life game. Behind that, is the fact that my family played a lot of Clue and I watched the movie a whole bunch growing up, to the point where my sister and I used to quote it to each other. This was a way to pay homage to that. He also talks about playing the game Murder in the Dark, which was one I played at Halloween as a kid. One of my cousins was dressed as a ghoul with glow in the dark face paint and we were in my grandma’s creepy upstairs. Perfect vibes.

I’ve seen the kitchen and the dining room and the library and the study and the parlor. Walking through this house is like playing Clue. (They call it Cluedo on this side of the pond, because they like to be difficult.) (That was a whole thing. Do not get me started.)

I keep thinking Colonel Mustard’s going to pop up out of nowhere and brain me with a lead pipe.

And:

What kind of games do you play with magickal friends who don't have magic? Twister? Not with the wings and tail. Cards? Baz and Penny would cheat. Or accuse everyone else of cheating if they didn't win. Murder in the dark? With these people, in this house, I knew it would turn literal fast, and also it was like ten in the morning. Hide and seek? Simon and I would hide and everyone else would ditch. Snowball fight? World War III.

4. I’ve referenced Mozart in my fics a couple of times because when I was first getting into classical music, I was listening to a lot of Mozart. My sister had a CD of some of his early symphonies, and my local classical station does “Mozart in the Mornings” which happened to fit in the exact time slot between two morning classes I had my first year in college. I’d go sit in my car with a cup of tea, and just vibe with Mozart as my soundtrack. I’ve name dropped him in both A Man of Letters and To the Manor Borne. Also, Mozart wrote 12 variations on the melody shared by Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, which is a lovely tie in. (I also had the gang sing/cast The Holly and the Ivy, which is one of my favorite Christmas carols, and by strange coincidence was playing on the radio at the same time I wrote that scene. 🥰)

"It's a songbook," I tell him, like he can't figure that out for himself. "Did you know that Mozart wrote twelve different versions of the same song?"

He's laughing. "Mozart did not write Twinkle, twinkle, little star, Simon."

"You know what I mean."

"He composed twelve variations for solo piano on the French folk melody Ah! Vous dirai-je, maman."

"Sure. Anyway, this is for the violin. For you to play."

He's still laughing, and I'm trying to figure out what's so funny, but then he kisses me again, on the lips this time, so I figure maybe I'm still doing okay.

Only one more to go! What will it be? 👀

5. Therapy! Eheheh...😅 Look, it’s no secret the gang needs it. And tbh, so do I. Haven’t actually managed to get myself to go yet, and I think that’s where a lot of my “send them to therapy” happy endings come from. I did it in Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne. I started Chamber by Chamber with SnowBaz already in therapy, and then structured the whole thing around therapy that they give to each other and to themselves. It didn’t really fit in A Man of Letters, but if it had, I absolutely would have done it. I’ve only shared from two fics so far, and since it could kind of spoil the ending to Use Your Words (tho saying this may be spoiler anyway...), here are two snippets from It’s a Kind of Magic, Part I of Chamber by Chamber.

I've been working on articulating my needs. We both have. Ordinarily, I'd be afraid of pushing him away by making demands when he's on the verge of a spiral, but my therapist insists that I can't go on treating Simon with kid gloves. If I never ask him for anything, he'll think he doesn't have anything to give.

And

When I told that to my therapist, she said that I needed to talk it out of me and she'd help me find ways to work through it all. She said I needed to talk it out with Baz, too, so that he'd know how to help me when things got bad again—that was something else she said, that things would get bad again, and that I'd need to be prepared for that. That I couldn't expect things to be easy, and just go away.

6. BONUS! I think the biggest way I include bits of myself is in the AUs I’ve chosen to write. I have three I’m planning that say a lot about me, so I’m going to talk a bit about them here. There is ofc my Scooby Doo AU, inspired in large part by the fact that I watched it all the time growing up and also, my sister continues to be obsessed with it. When we were young, my parents were doing a lot of work on their house and we’d take family trips to the hardware store. My sister and I hated it, so we’d wait in the car with my mom and she would entertain us with “Scooby Doo stories”. Other AUs I’m planning? Troop Beverly Hills—please tell me someone else out there loved this movie the way I did when I was 5. It was very influential to baby me and I remember wishing for nothing more than being able to dress like Shelley Long. So, I’m going to let Baz do it, because I think he deserves it. 🥰 Lastly, tho it will probably be the first I write, is my Cupid and Psyche AU, from when I was heavy into mythology and religion. Since these are all forthcoming projects, I don’t really have a snippet. Instead, here’s Baz comparing Simon to Eros, which is what started my brain on that particular AU.

I am lost. I barely know anything about Salisbury, but I can't help being drawn in. At one time, I could have comforted myself that I was only so smitten with him because he looks like he was sculpted by Praxiteles. That excuse grows weaker with every encounter. He's the furthest thing from a lifeless tribute to beauty in marble as one can be. There is something deep and dark and feral inside of him and I want to claw it out. I want to see it, to let it free. To taste his wildness and his pain.

#tag game #writerly ephemera

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maggyoutthere · 4 years

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It's funny how I'm actually putting effort on this. I'm putting actual effort on a shitpost.

Anyways I said I'd write a bad sonic creepypasta so here it is. Here's the catch: I like how its turning out so imma make it a 2-pary story. This is the first part. It doesn't have any scary shit but it has the basics for a shitty creepypasta: someone gets a old pirated/unreleased/defective game and tries them out despite getting warned that bad shit might happen.

Again I'm not a fluent English speaker so expect some grammar error and stuff like that ._.,

So ladies, gentlemen and non-bis, I present to you-

Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood (Part 1)

Synopsis: Teen gets nostalgic mid-quarentine and starts playing old Sonic games. She asks for some cheat codes and shit happens.

So for context; I'm a 17 year old girl stuck home because of quarantine.

It had been 4 or 5 months since the virus sent everyone home. Students were playing Animal Crossing and DOOM all day to fill in the summer hours since no one could go outside. I never liked going to the beach so I was never really bothered by it.

Like many people, I found myself going back in time to easier phases of my life. I was rewatching old cartoon shows from my childhood, getting into MCR and P!ATD and just living in pure nostalgia. I also started getting into gaming again, even going to the point of setting up my Wii again just to play Epic Mickey, but I didn't exactly grow up with the Wii. I was more of a Playstation kid, so much that me and my bro got a Playstation 2 from our cousin when he eventually bought the 3rd one for himself.

My cousin was older than us; I remember him being 16 or 17 when I was like 12, so he was kind of our gaming hero. If there was a level in Crash Bandicoot we couldn't beat, we'd call my cousin and he'd do it in 15 minutes. He knew all the cheat codes, all the secret levels and extra content for the games he had; he was like a genius to me and my lil bro, so when he gave us his old Playstation 2 and games me and my sibling knew we were in for a treat.

We got this Sonic Gems Collection for the Playstation 2 from him. It's like a port of various older Sonic games like Sonic CD, Sonic The Fighters, Sonic R and so on. I grew up playing that game, especially Sonic The Fighters since I wasn't very good at the racing games.

I still had a working controller and a lot of free time so I asked my bro for help setting up the console. The thing was so dusty I was actually scared it wasn't going to work. We clicked the power button and the light on the console turned on. Me and my brother held our breaths as we put the DVD in the console and crossed our fingers. As the screen lit up with the SEGA logo and music started playing, I just hugged him and cheered. He set up the console in my room so I could play without having to go to his room (he was the one keeping all the electronic stuff) and told me to have fun.

I didn't even know where to start. There was so much I wanted to play now that I actually knew what I was doing. I thought about starting with my favourite one out of the bunch: Sonic CD. I'm a sucker for the retro 2D pixel games so that was a must. It was better than what I remembered; the music was so catchy and the art style was vibrant and it stood out from a lot of games nowadays that go for a washed out "hyper realistic" look.

As I kept playing, I eventually reached the level where Amy tags along with Sonic for a while before Metal Sonic bursts through a wall and kidnaps her. Oh yeah, Metal Sonic was a thing. I remembered him from Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters - and the fact he was in the fucking cover art of the DVD case. I absolutely loved the fucker in the games though. He had a cool design, and the idea of the villain being a copy of the hero gone wrong was so interesting to me at the time.

I ended up passing the level and even making it to Stardust Speedway. I was sweating since I'd never come this far at any game. My bro was there cheering me as I tried not falling on spikes or getting hit by Metal Sonic's attacks. I ended up making it till the end on top, but it was kinda sad seeing Metal crash face-first against the door like that.

I was done with that for a while, so I went ahead and played Sonic R and Sonic The Fighters for nostalgia. Again, the fucker was there, either as a boss or as an unlockable character. I ended up noticing how there were a bunch of games missing. There were empty grayed slots with question marks instead of the game titles. I couldn't understand if the game was broken or if there was something I was supposed to do, so I called my cousin in hope he would somewhat tell me what to do. He ended up explaining how the game made you complete all the other games to unlock new ones. I thought that was kinda stupid so I asked him if he had any cheat codes or something to make the whole thing available. He told me he was going to dig up his old stuff and ring me again if he found anything.

A few hours later, he sent me a message telling me he'd found something that should work. He told me he did have a cheat code but he thought it was best if I didn't do it. Here's the transcript from his message.

"There's something that might work but it's kinda weird. I got this memory card from a friend of mine and he said this should unlock all the hidden contents within the disc, but when I tried it some weird shit started happening. Most of the sonic games were unplayable no matter how many times I restarted the console or cleaned the disc. There should be an extra game slot but that's just a glitch. Something about the system trying to make up storage for the extra code. Just don't click on anything that looks like a glitch and you should be golden"

Well that was a bit discouraging, but we agreed to meet that afternoon so he could give me the memory card.

When I got home and plugged the cartridge into the slot on the console, I was kinda scared. What if the thing exploded or something? I gave it a try and the thing actually worked! As I clicked on the games section, everything was there! There were some vectorman games but I didn't know who that was at the time so I didn't really care about them. What I was more interested in was the museum. There were a bunch of unlockable promotional art and illustrations there that I never got to see as a kid, so you could imagine how joyful I was when I saw the museum section filled with pages upon pages of illustrations and renderings of the games. Some of them weren't even on the Gems Collection like some screenshots of Sonic Heroes.

I went back on the game menu and was surprised to see another game entry below all the vectorman ones. It was called "Sonic: Battle of Metal and Blood". What the hell was this? It surely wasn't in the cover art and a quick google search turned up nothing. Was it a glitch? It couldn't be; it looked too clean and intentionally made to be a glitch, not to mention that whole game titles don't just appear out of thin air. Game or not, something was programmed in there. I concluded it was probably someone's fan project that was in the memory card my cousin gave me. Why hadn't he mentioned it though?

I was too curious to turn down a mystery like this one, so I got up first to make a cup of coffee since it was already getting late. As I returned from the kitchen, I remembered to look at the synopsis of the game. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something along the lines of:

"In this sequel to the famous Sonic CD, step in the shoes of Sonic's friends as they face their biggest challenge yet. Control Amy Rose and Miles "Tails" Prower and fight against the metallic faker himself, Metal Sonic, and stop him before he puts his plan to become the only Sonic in action"

Woah, that sounded exciting; I wasted no time. I got all cozy, kept my cup of coffee next to me

And pressed START.

To be continued in part 2

#sth #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #creepypasta #creepy story #short story #sonic gems collection #sonic: battle of metal and blood #battle of metal and blood #maggy moment #shhh i actually like how its turning out #i'm not that good at writing but this is the best i've written in a while

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silverwhiteraven · 5 years

Text

Borne of the Stars - Chapter 4 - An MLB Kryptonian AU

Tag List: @eve-valution @weird-pale-blonde-person @kris-pines04 @soulmate-game @abrx2002 @amayakans @vixen-uchiha @heldtogetherbysafetypins @raisuke06 @dorkus-minimus @captainartsypants @mopester-is-here @moonlightstar64 @annabellabrookes @daminett4life @toodaloo-kangaroo @the-navistar-carol @elspethshadow

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [ Chapter 5 ]

[ A/N: Alright! The Metropolis ‘Intro Arc’ comes to a close, and leads right into a bit of time-skipping! Chapter 5 begins Marinette’s journey into gaining superpowers in strange ways. ]

[ Summary: Answers are given and some backstory is filled in, but blanks still remain. It’s time for new friends to part ways. ]

“Meteor shower?”

Marinette looked quizzically towards her parents, knowing nothing of such an event ever happening. But she also knew there was a chance it had happened before they had ever met her.

Sabine stepped up, a more passive, if not helpless, look of cluelessness on her features. “No, as far as Tom and I are aware, she wasn’t. But, perhaps, she may have been. You see,” she began to elaborate, wrapping a reassuring arm around her daughter alongside her husband, “Marinette is adopted.”

Supergirl blinked at that, and Tom continued where Sabine left off before the superhero could ask any premature questions.

“There was some kind of accident that happened with her original parents. Not her birth ones as far as the adoption agency knew. They claimed the DNA didn’t match any of the residents where she was found, and there was no birth certificate.”

Tom patted his daughter’s head and she smiled reassuringly. She knew the story, and came to terms with it long ago. It had never really been a crisis for her, it was simply a fact of her life.

Marinette decided to pick up the tale herself and explain the rest.

“They don't know what exactly caused it, but the whole building had collapsed, and I was the only survivor. They suspected some kind of explosion from the debris.

“The people who rescued me from the aftermath knew my name was Marinette because of a note that I had been swaddled with, but that was it. The note was too damaged to read anything else, but they suspect it may have been a simple baby-care to-do list for new parents.

“So, I guess to answer your question… We have no clue. Why? You said you saw something, an old injury, could it have been debris from the accident?”

Tom pipes up once more to fill in more blanks and open more questions. “There was no report of injuries from that, just your pre-existing scars.”

“And I don’t think they ever checked those,” Sabine adds, “likely assuming they were taken care of before the accident.”

“Scars…” Supergirl mused, looking Marinette over once more. “Marigold, they wouldn't happen to be over your right shoulder, back, and leg, would they?”

The Dupain-Chengs’ eyes were wide as they looked at each other before Marinette stepped closer, pushing down the right shoulder of her re-dawned over-shirt and the shirt underneath, twisting around to be able to show the faint scarring there in strange jagged, spotty patterns. It definitely looked like it had been something done by multiple culprits such as a dense scattering of tiny meteors. Or shrapnel from something much closer.

Supergirl’s resolve seemed to solidify at the sight and nodded, stepping up closer and pointing to one of the largest of the scars between her shoulder and collarbone, then another at her shoulder blade. “Your back and leg have big ones like these too, right?” A nod in response, and she continues.

“All of those spots have large chunks of crystals that I suspect might be from… a place I call home. I felt them when I helped you out back there.” Marinette furrowed her brow, wondering if that seeming uncharacteristic weakness and tiredness of the two superheroes had been because of these hidden crystals. Did she somehow really have a weakness to the indestructible heroes just sitting around inside her?

“Oh, sorry for being snippy back there by the way, I thought the crystals had been put in you on purpose, it didn't help that I recognized that other guy, too, I hope you can forgive me, Starshine.” Marinette flushed at the attention, not expecting the apology and another nickname, but she nodded in affirmation to the apology. Supergirl then stepped back as she continued on with a returned nod, and Marinette took it to put her sleeves back in place.

“Anyways, I’ll bet my hat, metaphorically of course, that all the smaller pieces were removed by your body naturally as you grew, but the bigger ones stuck around. Get those checked out, long term exposure of my homeworld’s rocks can have bad effects on humans. To have none so far, you're lucky. Well, as lucky as you can get with already having, ya’know… Yeah…” The hero looked sheepish now, and Marinette just laughed softly, Tom and Sabine chuckling behind her.

“We’ll be sure to get it taken care of,” Marinette nods glad to have gotten help for something she hadn't even known was wrong. “Thank you, Supergirl. For everything.”

“Hah, it was nothin’,” the hero grins, reaching up to touch her hair, and instead clocked herself in the temple with Marinette’s sketchbook that she still held. “Owch! Oh! Ha-hah, that- that's definitely not mine, here- Actually…” Before she hands it back, she pulls one of the pencils out from between the bindings and scribbles down into the blank spaces between the Superman sketches.

When Marinette finally takes the sketchbook back, there's two names and two numbers. The first, situated below the most detailed of the Superman designs, is the name Clark Kent, and a number labeled personal cell. The second number is vertically written between the Supergirl skirt and the sash design Supergirl had been admiring, and the name was Supergirl, also labeled with personal cell.

Marinette’s eyes go wide at both, and she slams the sketchbook closed to hide them from prying eyes. “But these are-! You-! I can’t-!”

She’s cut off by a full and gleeful laugh from the superhero. “Geode, It’s fine, don't worry ‘bout it! Really! Superman already told me to give you Kent’s for your reporter friend, the other one you can just consider an emergency contact for anything about those crystals you’ve got. That's acceptable, right? Good!” she beams when Marinette gives a speechless nod, and the designer could swear that Supergirl was actually doing something to make herself glow with the sun framing her from above her head.

“I should be heading off then,” the superhero continued, and her glow dimmed with it, but she stayed grinning and proud, more content in the moment. “Think you need anything else or we good?”

Having a quick thought, Marinette reached into her back and slipped out one of her home-made business cards. She never actually used them, she wasn't ready to start her own business just yet, but they were convenient if she ever needed to give her contact info to anyone. This was as good a time as any to put them to use.

She stepped up quickly and grabbed Supergirl’s hand in her own, slipping the paper into the other teen’s fingers.

“Thank you again, Supergirl, I mean it. Thank you.”

The hero softens just a bit as she looks back at the bright, dirt covered girl she rescued from the Daily Planet’s main symbol. Her grin returns full force and she winks. “Any time, cutie, it’s what I do.”

Marinette let's go with a laugh at the superhero’s antics, and finally releases her hand.

With a wave from both Supergirl and the Dupain-Chengs, they part ways.

A few things happen for Marinette after that day in Metropolis.

First, after Marinette got back to the hotel her family was staying in, she made a call to Alya back in Paris. She told her about the villain attack, the destruction, and the heroes rescuing her. She made sure to spare any and every personal detail, both of her own and of the heroes’. Marinette didn't want to be teased or prodded about it, and she strongly guessed the heroes didn't want the wrong things getting out. Alya had dropped her phone upon hearing about her getting not just the contact for a well known reporter, but also securing a promise for an interview in her name. Alya at least gracefully respected that Marinette refused to give up the number, and planned to set the interview up herself to make sure she didn't break their trust in her.

After that, Marinette and her parents discussed the whole alien crystals in her body thing, and decided they should get them removed as soon as they returned home, not wanting their daughter recovering from surgeries like that while travelling. Figuring Supergirl would be too busy to answer a call, she sent a text instead about the decision. A fitting string of emojis followed by a ‘sweet! update me soon, ttyl’ was the reply.

Marinette didn't encounter either of the Super-Duo for the rest of her trip, but she texted the teen again a few days before they were set to leave. She asked about music recommendations, stating a desire to get a gift of CDs or records for one of her long-time best friends back home. Not only did she get a good long list of album recommendations, but also a short list of the best music stores in the city, in order of ‘best to still-best-but-slightly-less-awesome’, as Supergirl put it.

After the Dupain-Chengs returned to Paris, the renovations of the bakery almost complete, they set up everything they needed for the removal of the foreign crystals. Once more, Marinette made sure to text Supergirl. And this time, they did see each other again. The American hero flew all the way to France to bring Marinette something, a Non-Disclosure Agreement for the doctors handling Marinette and the crystals. Apparently, her and her cousin used them in emergencies to keep their identities safe, and their weaknesses out of the wrong hands, as best they could. It only confirmed for Marinette that the crystals were indeed weaknesses to them, and she vowed to keep them secret.

Supergirl stayed in Paris to oversee the surgeries, despite how much it embarrassed Marinatte to have a superhero acting like a bodyguard at the hospital, let alone how much the girl told the hero it was alright to leave her on her own. Yet again, Marinette vowed to never tell Alya. She made the hero swear to it, too, though she was sure that promise wouldn't hold if Alya ever got an interview. Truthfully, she wouldn't really hold the other teen to it anyways, but it was nice to know Supergirl would still make the effort to keep it the promise.

After the crystals were removed and Marinette was home free, Supergirl handed her a leather-bound wooden box, decorated in brass bands and studs, and lined on the inside with lead and velvet. Inside sat several chunks of glowing, ethereal crystals. Most of them were shades of green, but one sat in the center and radiated a brilliant gold. Each had been carefully coated in something clear, meant to prevent skin-to-skin contact when handling, without diminishing the beauty.

“Kryptonite,” Supergirl confessed with a sheepish grin. “Pieces of Krypton, the home planet Kryptonians like Kal-El and I are from. You kept them safe without even knowing it, I can’t imagine how safe they'll be now that you know they're here. Better than being anywhere near us or our enemies, am I right?”

Marinette had laughed, exasperated at Supergirl’s antics, but decided, for once, not to refuse the gift, and accept the new responsibility that came with them. It was the least she could do for a friend from an ocean and a few galaxies away.

After a few weeks in Paris, Supergirl had to go back to Metropolis a week before Marinette’s last year of collège started, admitting to needing to return to start her first year of high school.

Her final statement to Marinette had been to make a bet.

Marinette had laughed and fallen down giggling when she first expressed her want to make it. She was so used to Kim and Alix doing the same thing, realizing that they would get along well with Supergirl if they ever met.

“Geode!” She had called out and declared with the largest air of confidence she could muster, “Geode, Blue Starshine, Princess, Macaroon, Cookie Dough, Buttercup, Blossom, Lil’ Butterfly, Darlin’, Cutie. Marinette! I mean it, and this is my bet! I am going to learn French! It’s going to suck, and I’m going to hate it, but you learned English, so I’ll try to learn something else, too, and maybe I’ll do it in time to surprise you with how awesome I am at it next year.”

“And if you can’t do it?” Marinette had giggled, the last of her laughter simmering down after the bold declaration.

“I won’t,” was the answer. Yet she still added, “But if I do fail, I’ll take you to the one place only Kal and I can go, a little piece of Home on Earth. Deal?”

Marinette softened at the whole thing, and nodded with a soft smile.

“Deal.”

#Kryptonian AU #Karanette #Borne of the Stars #maribat #crossover au #miraculous ladybug #dc super hero girls #dc superman #kara danvers #marinette dupain cheng #willowbendt #supergirl

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saltyfrieswhywontandusernamework · 4 years

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Anna West was a normal- well average young woman. I was the First and BEST female mechanic in town. I just got back from fixing her friend Genreals car. And I noticed someone standing in front of my cousin Skys Bakery. "It smells good right,? Tastes the part too!" I says popping up behind the short person. They jumped at My sudden appearance. They seemed to take in my appearence. "Hello there! I didn't see you there." They say. I laughed this person was definetly new. "Well, that means your are new in town as there's barely a person that doesn't know of Anna West!" I say proudly. "Hello Anna, I am Deer and as you said, I am new in town!"

"Knew It!" I say clapping my hands

"If you don't mind me asking, why isn't there a person in town that doesn't know you?" Deer asks

"Not only am I the first female mechanic in town, I am also the best!" I say

"Really!?" They say amazed

"Absolutely!" I say nodding.

There was a short silence that was ened by Deer when they asked: "So why are you here at the bakery?"

I smiled before answering, "My cousin owns this place! She is the best baker in town! I love all of her honey-based pastries, which is all of them!" I say giving her the reason behind the name.

We stood in silence which was broke by the sweet voice of my cousin Sky Moone saying: "I see you brough someone with you, Anna!" Sky was a short woman with blonde hair tied into a low bun. She wore a white dress shirt and a navy blue, knee length skirt. She also wore a bee pin on the shirt, white stockings, and black shoes. She wore her wedding ring as well.

"Hello there!" She said walking over to us, "I am Sky Moone, and I am the owner of this bakery."

"Hi! I am Deer!"

"What brings you here to Bee-lightful?" Sky asked giving Deer a sweet smile.

"Oh, I was hoping to get something for Lily Rust." Deer says. Sky smiled recognizing the name. I wasn't suprised everyone knew and liked Sky, it was a small town afterall.

"Oh! I know her! She always comes on Sundays for the special!" Sky says clapping her hands and giving us a gentle smile. You want to know the Sunday special? Well you see for every day of the week there is a special for that day. Sunday- Honey Bee Cupcakes, Monday- Honey Muffins, Tuesday- Honey Bee Cookies, Wensday- Honey Donuts, Thursday- Honey Beignets, Friday- Honey Roll, Saturday- Honey Cake.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Deer says: "Well, can I have the special? I want to bring her something special." Deer says smiling.

"Of course! And Anna, do you want the usual?" She asks me.

"Sure thing, cuz!" I say giving her a thumbs up.

Sky gave us her usual gentle smile and walked to the back of the bakery. The two of us sat in silence. I thought about visiting my friend Dead afterwards. I was brought back to reality when I saw Sky had returned with a box of pastries. Deer smiled at her in return. "Thank you so much!" Dear said, "And how much will that be?"

"It will be 5 dollars!"

Deer handed the money over to my cousin and takes the box from SKy. They were waving goodbye when I yelled: "HEY DEER!"

They turned around and looked at me. I smiled before saying, "If you are nervous, don't be afraid to come to us. You have to remember that nothing bad happens in this town!"

They smiled once more. "Thank you!" They say before closing the door.

"Anna I'm going to go get my mail, would you like to accompany me?" Sky asks me. "Of course!" I say as we walk out the door. "We should do some clothes shopping, I've been thinking about getting a new dress." Sky says as we walked on the gravel path. When we got to the mail box, Sky picked it up and we walked back. When we got back she looked through each and every letter before stopping at one. I knew just from her face it was from her Wife, Abi Moone. Abi was a writer who was currently overseas. She opened it delicately like it was a fragile piece of glass. As she read it her smile grew and she blushed a bit. I looked over her shoulder and read the letter.

My Dearest, Sky

How are you dear? I hope the bakery isn't to much work by yourself! I myself am doing wonderful but alas, Paris would be so much lovelier if you were here beside me, The beauty of this city an not compare to your angelic looks. I've been getting so many ideas for my books! Paris is truley an amazing city. But my dear no place could be better than being with you my love. For I am waiting day and night for when I can hold you in my arms again. I will most definetly bring you a recipe for macarons.

With most Love,

Abi Moone

"Aw how cute!" I say. Sky giggled. "Well I'm going to go visit Dead!" I say. "Bye Sky!" I say walking out the door. I walked through the town seeing so many people I knew. I see Deads house and walk to the front porch and knock on the door. The door opens and I see Dead, "Anna! Its so wonderful to see you!" She says hugging me. "Its great to see you as well!" I exclaim smiling at her. She lets me in and we walk to her library. I sat on the Velvet couch and she sat in the armchair she had a notepad and a pencil. "Any new stories to share?" She askes me her eyes sparkling with intrest. "Yup!" I say popping the "p". "A few days ago I was swimming in Hellen lake when a croc came by and tried attacking me, So I wrestled him and swam off." I say proudly. "I'm not suprised you did." Dead says snorting. "Oh yeah! I also threw a dictionary at my enemy when they said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." I then yelled "HOWS THAT FOR WORDS HURTING YOU DUMBASS!" Sky bailed me out." I shrug. Dead laughed "I mean you proved that they're sentence was incorrect!" She says laughing. "How does Sky even have the money to bail you out still?" She asks wiping a fake tear from her eye. "Skys wife is a famous writer and poet but more famous as a poet, With her most famous Poem being Angel that is my Wife." I say. "Oh! Right forgot!" Dead says rubbing the back of her head. "Its Okay Dead." I say smiling at her.

Later

Dead and I were walking to the bakery mainly because Dead and I were chaotic so Sky would be worried if we did something stupid. Since I'm a total dumbass that is really fucking hard. Sky was sweeping the shop while listening to music, She was always a good singer. "Hey cuz!", I say "Dead is gonna stay over because were writing a story!" I say. Sky gives us both a sweet smile. "Of course he can stay! Have you two eaten?" She asks. "No but it o-" Dead starts before Skys eyes widen. "Oh dear! You need food to stay strong and healthy you two! I'll cook something up right away!" She says panicked she ran to the kitchen. Her house is also her bakery and I live here to sometimes. "Shes such a innocent bean...." Dead sighs smiling. "Don't underestimate her thoough, she'd make a terrifying leader." I say. "Anyways lets go to the roof!" I say. The roof was covered by a glass dome, it was basically a relaxing place. I took out our writing tools and sat down. "Ok so what about a story where kingdoms exist and etc!" Dead says. We talked for 20 minutes when Sky yelled: "Dinner is ready you two!"

After eating Sky led us to my room and a guest bedroom. "Make yourselves at home!" She says flashing a smile. "Thank you Ms.Moone!" Dead says. "Dead I've told you before, please just call me Sky!" Sky says. "Right sorry!" Dead apolgizes. "Its ok!" Sky says. "Anyways its 10pm you should both head to bed." Sky says. "Goodnight!"I say walking to my room and laying on my soft bed before lulling slowly to sleep

@skyliecrescents @the-undead-writer-and-artist @theundertalehuman @cd-a-deer @lowkeyjustvibing

#town of suwali #town of salem #Anna West #Sky Moone #Anna is a florida woman #Bee-lightful #Sky is an angel that needs to be protected #They/Them pronouns for Deer ONLY #She/her for both Anna and Sky #Sky is a Bicon #Town of Hellen #Deer #Lily Rust #Abi Moone #Dead

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robinrunsfiction · 4 years

Text

Swing Life Away

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: Teen Requested By: None Word Count: ~7,000 Author’s Note: This story is about about what can happen between two people whose lives aren’t turning out exactly how they planned and what happens when they turn to each other. Inspired originally by the song “Hold On To Me” by Mayday Parade, there is a full playlist here of songs that inspired this story. TWs for mentions of substance abuse and depression. Post Bullets-era AU.

Gerard sighed as he pulled up in front of the convenience store. His well worn hoodie didn’t provide much relief against the New Jersey autumn air as he hurried inside. After checking the amount of cash he had in his pocket, he got a small coffee and headed to the counter. He rocked on his heels as he waited for the person being helped ahead of him to finish. Finally it was his turn.

“Anything else?” The girl behind the counter asked as she punched his coffee into the register, then she looked up. “Oh hey Gerard.”

Hearing her say his name, he looked up as well. “Oh, hey (YN), it’s been a while,” he smiled a little awkwardly. “Umm, can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

“Yea, sure. How’ve you been? I haven’t seen any fliers for a My Chem show recently, are you guys not playing right now?”

Gerard’s eyes widened for a moment and his mouth went dry. He didn’t think he would be having this conversation today, but (YN) had been coming out to My Chem shows since the beginning and he knew she was a genuinely nice person who deserved to hear the truth. “Umm, I broke it up.”

(YN)’s jaw dropped and she started to blush. “Shit, I’m sorry, I hadn't heard, otherwise I wouldn’t have brought it up,” she replied, nervously tucking at her hair.

“It’s ok,” he shrugged, trying not to let on that he was still disappointed about the whole situation. “Ray and Frank already found other bands to play with and I got a job at the comic book store so I’m back to something else I enjoy, so it’s ok really.”

“What about Mikey?”

Gerard rubbed at the back of his neck. “That’s why I broke it up. He, umm, he's got some problems. He’s in rehab,” Gerard mumbled the last part, barely audible to (YN).

“Fuck,” she breathed, looking down at the counter in front of her.

“Yea, our parents blamed me for the whole thing and kicked me out. I’ve been couch surfing for a while, or just staying in my car,” Gerard nodded toward his beat up old car parked out front. “Sorry, I just kinda dumped that all on you.”

“No, I asked, and I understand. Shit, I’m really sorry about all that,” (YN) said as she took Gerard’s money for his purchase. “Hey, please don’t be afraid to say no because this is a crazy idea I just had, but my roommate moved in with her boyfriend because she got knocked up, and I’ve been looking for someone to split the rent with. If you’re looking for a place,” (YN) trailed off with a shrug.

“Really?” Gerard asked, eyebrows raised. He was surprised at the offer. None of his friends that he had been crashing with had offered to let him stay more than a couple days at a time.

“Yea, I mean, why not?” She shrugged. “Wanna come over and check it out tonight?”

“Sure, that sounds good, what time?”

“I get off at 6, so like 6:30?”

“Yea, I can do that,” he smiled and (YN) felt like a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Cool, here’s the address and my phone number for whatever,” she said as she scrawled the information on the back of his receipt.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he said with a wave after pocketing the cigarettes. For once in a long time, Gerard finally had some hope that things were about to turn around.

When (YN)’s shift was over at 6, she rushed home to quickly straighten up before Gerard arrived. She desperately needed a roommate or she’d have to break her lease and be in the same situation Gerard currently found himself in, but she didn’t want to let any stranger move in. At least she knew Gerard a bit; he was always nice and fun to be around when they hung out after shows, plus he had a regular job, which was good enough for her.

Shortly after 6:30 the doorbell rang and she rushed to answer it. “Hey Gerard, come on in.”

“Thanks,” he smiled, almost a little nervously.

(YN) gave him the tour through the small house, showing him the open bedroom across the hall from her own, the kitchen, and bathroom. “As you can see, I don’t really have a lot of furniture,” she said when they got back to the empty living room. “My roommate had all that unfortunately, so I just kinda hang out in my room. I don’t have any weird rules or anything, and the neighborhood is safe, sooo yea. Rent would be $600 a month each plus utilities, if you’re interested after all that.”

Gerard looked around again. “Yea, I mean this would be great.”

(YN) let out a sigh of relief she didn’t realize she was holding. “Oh that’s awesome, thank you. I really didn’t wanna lose this place.”

“Oh yea, I understand,” he smiled his lopsided smile. “How soon can I move in?”

“Whenever you want. My old roommate had paid through the end of this month, so we’re ok there. I’ll let the landlord know and do the paperwork stuff.”

“Do you mind if I stay tonight? ‘Cause I don’t have,” he trailed off.

(YN) felt absolutely gutted when she realized he meant he'd be spending the night in his car, as temperatures dropped near freezing. “Oh, shit, yea, I can help carry stuff in if you want,” (YN) said quickly, grabbing her coat from the closet and following him out to his car.

Gerard didn’t have much with him, a few changes of clothes, a blanket, pillow, and a backpack full of cds and comics. He insisted that he was fine to sleep on the floor, but (YN) still gave him an extra pillow and a couple of blankets to make himself a bit more comfortable.

"Thanks again (YN) for letting me move in here and everything," Gerard said as (YN) turned to go. "I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it."

"I think it's gonna work out well for both of us," she smiled as she closed the door behind her.

Gerard retrieved the rest of his belongings that weekend and got everything moved into his room. (YN) tried to give him space while he got settled, but eventually they started talking a bit more, getting to know each other as they got used to being around each other.

A few weeks later, (YN) was sitting on the counter next to the microwave when Gerard arrived home from work, the smell of fresh popcorn greeting him. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?” (YN) asked as Gerard walked into the kitchen.

“Umm, nothing, why?” Gerard asked.

“I was getting ready to watch a movie, if you wanna hang out.”

“Yea, sure,” he nodded. “What were you thinking?”

“I dunno, any of the classics that are easy to watch, like Star Wars or Back to the Future,” she shrugged.

Gerard’s eyes lit up. “I was thinking about Empire Strikes Back earlier today.”

“Well let’s watch that one then,” she nodded, hopping off the counter as the microwave beeped.

Gerard went back to his room and dropped his backpack on the bed. He opened it up and examined the bottle of alcohol he had purchased after work. He wasn’t sure why he did it, he had told Mikey that he’d get sober too, but he had been feeling so depressed lately, he thought it might help to take the edge off.

Instead, he stashed it under his desk and changed out of his work clothes and into some pajama pants and a comfortable t-shirt so he could relax. When he walked into (YN)’s room, he was reminded of the lack of places to sit other than with her on her bed. “I’ll go get my desk chair,” he said, turning to leave.

“Oh grow up, you can sit on my bed with me,” she laughed, patting the spot next to her.

“I didn’t wanna assume,” he said rolling his eyes as he sat down, the popcorn bowl between them. Gerard finally had a chance to really look around her room, and the first thing he noticed next to the modest tv was a bookshelf filled with movies. "Woah, I never noticed your movie collection before, how'd you get so many?"

"My cousin worked for Blockbuster up until a couple years ago. She got all those at a discount and when she moved to Chicago she decided she didn't want them anymore and gave them to me."

"That's cool," Gerard replied, continuing to look around. Against the amethyst walls white Christmas lights were hung, bathing the room in a warm glow. Taped to her wall above her bed were dozens of photos, that appeared to be mainly of friends, parties, concerts, and pink roses. "You have a lot of friends."

"I don't talk to most of them any more," she said, glancing up. "They all moved on with their lives and I stayed here."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Gerard replied. He had been one of those people, he had moved on with his life, until it got out of control and now he was here as well.

(YN) shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should try to move on too,” she said with a nod to the photos. “Stop living in the past or whatever. Anyway, what’s it like working at the comic book store?”

Gerard shrugged. “It’s pretty good. On slow days I can just read comics for my whole shift, and the people that come in are pretty cool to talk to.”

“Do you miss music?”

Gerard looked thoughtful for a moment. “Some days. But as long as I’m doing something I enjoy, I’m happy.”

(YN) glanced over at him and smiled. “That’s good.”

Later that night (YN) had gotten up to go to the bathroom when she noticed a sliver of light coming from Gerard's doorway. When she peeked in, she saw him at his desk, working intently.

“What are you working on?” Gerard heard (YN) ask from the doorway.

“Oh umm, just this comic idea I’ve been working on,” he replied. When he looked back at her, he spotted his clock, reading that it was nearly 4 AM. “It’s so late, did I wake you up?”

“No, I just got up to go to the bathroom and I saw your light on,” she said padding quietly into the room. “Can I see?”

“Sure,” he said, turning the paper toward her.

“That’s really really good. What’s it about?”

“They’re like an adopted family of superheroes. They all have different powers and their father is trying to train them to save the world,” he said looking up at her. To his surprise, she seemed to be genuinely interested.

“You’re really talented."

"It's not that great," he shrugged.

“Pfft, are you kidding? That girl is so pretty, and there aren’t even words yet and I can tell this guy is super mad at this other aloof guy.”

Gerard looked back up at her in awe. “I’ve been struggling all night because I didn’t think it conveyed that clearly enough.”

“Nah, it’s great, you’re doing great,” she replied. “Are you just doing it for fun, or are you gonna try to get it printed?”

“I’d love to get a comic printed, but I don’t know if I ever will.”

“Like I said, you’re really talented, I bet you could make it happen. I’ll even buy a copy and tell people that you were my roommate when you were working on it.”

Gerard laughed lightly. “I’ll dedicate it to you.”

“I can’t wait. G’night Gerard,” (YN) said before retreating back to her room.

It was a bitterly cold winter day when (YN) returned home from work to find another car in front of the house. When she came in, she heard another voice she thought she recognized.

“Hey (YN),” Gerard called as she walked into her room.

“Yea?” She called back, dropping her things.

“Mikey’s here.”

“Oh! Hey Mikey, how’s everything going?” (YN) asked, as she walked into Gerard’s room and found his brother sitting on the bed.

“Good,” he nodded.

She nodded as well. “I'll get out of your hair, sorry to interrupt,” (YN) waved as she ducked back into her room. Gerard had been talking about how well Mikey had been doing since finishing his program, but as far as she was aware, this was the first they had seen each other since he had completed it.

A while later she was in the kitchen getting dinner when Gerard walked Mikey to the door, exchanging a hug before he left. After the door was closed, Gerard let out a sigh.

“Mikey looked like he’s doing good,” (YN) said as Gerard trudged into the kitchen.

“Yea,” he replied, but the tone of his voice wasn’t happy. “But he doesn’t think he can stay clean here so he’s moving.”

“Really? Where?”

“California. We got some family out there that will keep him straightened out, and keep him away from the people who got him messed up in the first place, like me.”

"Did he say you specifically?"

"No, but-"

“Gerard,” (YN) interrupted sternly. “Just because you started the band doesn’t mean you’re to blame for what he chose to do.”

“I shoulda been looking out for him more. I was such a drunk shtihead I didn’t even know what was happening,” he said running his hands through his hair.

(YN) stepped forward grabbing his arms and pulling them down. “Gerard! I have spent months now listening to you talk about Mikey. You guys both learned some lessons the hard way, but he wouldn’t have kept calling you while he was in rehab and come to visit today if he blamed you. He could have cut you off, moved to California without a word, but he didn’t. That means something, right?”

Gerard looked like he was on the verge of tears but he nodded.

“You guys are both gonna be alright,” she said, letting go of his arms, and wrapping him in a hug.“Sorry, “ just felt like,” she said trailing off with a shake of her head when she pulled back.

“It’s fine, I needed that,” he smiled. “All of it, thank you.”

It didn’t seem like enough time had passed when in the late spring (YN) checked the mail and found a letter from their landlord with the paperwork to renew their lease. She sighed nervously as she made her way to Gerard’s room. Now it wasn't just that she didn’t want to have to find a new place to live, it was the fact that she liked living with Gerard. She liked hanging out with him and she had come to care for him as a real friend. She also recently realized that she had at some point developed more feelings for him, but she pushed those aside.

“Hey Gee?” She said knocking on his door.

“Yea?” She heard him call from the other side before she opened the door.

“We got the lease renewal paperwork today. Did you wanna extend the lease for a full year?”

“Yea, sure. I like it here,” Gerard replied with a smile.

(YN) let out a sigh of relief. “Good, I’m really glad to hear that. I’ll leave this with you, just bring it back when you get it signed at all the flagged spots.”

“Ok,” Gerard nodded as he flipped through the packet.

A while later (YN) looked up from the magazine she was reading when Gerard knocked on her door. “I got the lease thing signed,” he said, walking in and handing her the paperwork.

“Cool, I’ll drop this off tomorrow,” she nodded. “I’m really glad this has worked out.”

“Me too,” Gerard said. “Umm, I never mentioned it before, but I had been living in my car for a couple weeks when you offered me this place.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was that bad,” (YN) murmured.

“I was in a really low place, like I was almost at my breaking point ya know, but umm, when I say this turned everything around for me, I mean it. I was able to pick up more shifts at work and I could afford to go back to my therapist and get on my meds again. So thanks for saving my life,” he said with a nod before turning to leave.

“Gee wait,” she said getting up.

“Yea?”

“I… I don’t know what to say except I’m really glad that you’re here and you matter a lot to me, and,” she shrugged as her words failed her. She just wanted Gerard to know how important he was, not just as someone to share rent with, but as well as all the complicated feelings she kept bottled up inside.

Gerard stepped back across the room and wrapped his arms around her. They stood silently hugging for a while before he pulled back. “Hang on.” (YN) nodded as he hurried over to his room and then came back with a bottle of liquor. “Here, you can have it, or get rid of it, it doesn’t matter to me. I bought it months ago because… it doesn’t matter, but that night you invited me to hang out and that meant a lot. I started working on my comic again that night too.”

“I remember that,” she smiled, as she took the bottle from him. “You’re gonna do big things Gee. I’m glad I can cheer you on.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come along?” (YN) asked from the doorway of his room. She was heading out to a party with her friend, but to Gerard, she already seemed a little unsteady on her feet.

“No thanks, I gotta work in the morning,” he replied. Just then, a car horn went off outside the house.

“That’s Eli. I’ll try to be quiet coming in,” (YN) waved before hurrying out to her waiting friend.

Gerard got so wrapped up in the page of his comic he was working on he completely lost track of time until his phone went off. "Hello?" Gerard answered his phone.

"Heeey, is this Gerard? (YN)'s roommate?" He heard a female voice slur from the other end.

"Yea, why?" He asked, panic striking through him. He glanced at his clock, it wasn't that late, why was someone calling him about (YN).

"Can you come get (YN)? She's like super drunk and I'm gonna go back to this guy's place but I don't wanna leave her here alone."

"Wait, is this Eli?"

"Yea, can you hurry up before she barfs or something, I can't deal with that."

"Yea, yea, text me the address, I'm on my way," Gerard replied, already slipping on his sneakers.

A while later Gerard was pulling up in front of the house where the party was happening. As he got out of his car, he saw (YN) sitting on the front lawn with a girl he'd never met before, he presumed it was Eli.

"Hey (YN), are you ok?" He asked as he approached. He could tell (YN) had been crying, despite how dark it was.

"Yea," she sniffled and got up unsteadily.

"I'll call you tomorrow, ok sweetie?" Eli said, already heading toward a guy who had been waiting in the distance.

(YN) waved her off as Gerard helped her to the car. Other than the radio playing an old Radiohead song, there was nothing but silence in the car.

"I've never seen you this drunk," Gerard suddenly blurted out. "Are you ok?"

(YN) sniffled again. "I haven't really eaten in a few days and then Eli wanted to do shots when we got to the party and now I'm stupid and wasted," she whined.

Gerard pulled up to a red light and looked over at (YN). She had her head against the window and was staring blankly ahead. "Why haven't you been eating much? Do you need money for groceries? I can kick in more."

"Because I wanna be skinnier so you'll think I'm pretty like the girl you drew in your comic" she said so softly it was almost a whisper.

Gerard's heart broke at her words. "(YN), I do think you're beautiful. You don't have to change for me at all," he said looking back at her just before the light turned green. (YN) turned her head to look out the window so he couldn't see her reaction.

A few blocks later pulled up in front of a convenience store. "What's your favorite gatorade?" Gerard asked.

"Red," (YN) mumbled.

"Ok, wait here a sec," he said as he got out.

Gerard hurried inside, grabbing a big bottle of the drink, as well as a couple burritos.

"Here you go," Gerard said as he handed her the bag. "At least try to eat one to settle your stomach."

"Thanks," she replied, staring into the bag. She was too embarrassed to look up at Gerard at that moment. She felt like an idiot for getting so drunk that he had to take care of her. If she ever had a shot with Gerard, she was sure she had blown it now.

The rest of the drive was just as silent as it had started until they arrived back in the house. Gerard put his arm around (YN) and helped her inside. She was already feeling less dizzy as she sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled off her shoes. Gerard took the bottle of gatorade and set it on her bedside table, plugged her phone into the charger, and brought in the garbage can in case she had to be sick.

"You'll probably feel terrible tomorrow," he said with a slightly sad smile as she pulled the blankets over herself, not even bothering to change out of her clothes.

"I deserve it," she mumbled as she turned her face into her soft, cool pillow.

Before she could fully register what was happening, she felt Gerard kiss her head. "No you don't," he said before turning out the light and shutting the door behind him.

(YN)'s thoughts were spinning like the world had been earlier until she eventually passed out.

The next day (YN)’s phone was vibrating on her bedside table, but the sound felt like a jackhammer vibrating through her skull. Groaning, she opened her eyes to find the offending device.

Hey girl! Call me when u get up so i know ur alive the text from Eli read.

(YN) looked at her clock, it was almost 1 in the afternoon. She dragged herself out of bed, discarding the clothes she had worn the night before, and into the shower, the cold water jolting her awake. Climbing back into bed, she picked up her phone to call her friend.

“You survived,” Eli cheered when she answered the call.

“Oh my god, please shut up,” (YN) winced.

“Oh, you’re really feeling it huh?”

“Yea, I think I got run over at some point last night.”

“No, I didn’t let you run across any roads this time. Maybe Gerard did after he picked you up. How'd that go?”

“I don’t remember,” (YN) groaned. “I remember he bought me food and gatorade,” she said, picking up the bottle of the now room temperature drink.

Eli hummed. “Well he seems like a good guy, he came right to get you no questions asked when I called.”

“Yea,” (YN) agreed, pulling her knees up to her chest. “I just feel so dumb for getting so wasted.”

“It happens. And at least he’s seen you at your worst now. Has he said anything?”

“He’s at work I think.”

“Ah, well at least you got some more time to recover before you have to face him.”

“Why do you have to say it that way?” (YN) groaned as Eli laughed.

The friends talked for a while longer until (YN) heard the front door open.

“Shit, he’s back,” (YN) whispered, her embarrassment flooding back.

“Ok talk to you later, and don’t worry about it!” Eli said brightly before hanging up.

(YN) glanced up and saw Gerard hovering awkwardly by her door. “Hey, how you feeling?”

“Been better,” (YN) replied, tucking a piece of her half wet hair behind her ear awkwardly. “Umm, I don’t really remember a lot from last night, but thanks for coming to get me and everything.”

Gerard nodded. “It’s no problem.”

“I feel really stupid. I won’t be doing that again anytime soon, I promise,” (YN) laughed dryly.

Gerard laughed a little as well. He didn’t know if he should bring up anything that was said between them the night before since she had said she couldn’t remember much, but he couldn’t help but wonder what she did remember.

After a few days, (YN)’s embarrassment at her drunken night finally started to diminish and she and Gerard’s interactions went back to normal. A while later, (YN) was hanging out in Gerard’s room talking about a show they had been to the weekend before when her phone rang.

"Hello? Oh hi," (YN) answered. "What?! Is he ok?" She jumped up and left the room, but Gerard could still hear her end of the conversation, causing him to grow more concerned. "No I didn't see anything, there wasn't anyone… Ok... Yea… Ok let me know."

The color was drained from her face when she walked back into the room.

"What's wrong?" Gerard asked, his brows knitted together.

"Right after my shift ended the store got robbed. My coworker John is in the hospital and they took all the cash. The store is gonna be closed for a couple days I guess."

"Fuck," Gerard replied, totally stunned.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed," she said blankly before turning back toward her room and Gerard heard the door close behind her.

A while later Gerard got up to go to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee, but when he stepped into the hall, he stopped in his tracks. It sounded like crying coming from (YN)’s room.

"(YN), are you ok?" He asked as he knocked on her door, but she didn't answer. Cautiously he opened the door and found (YN) was sitting on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest, sobbing.

"Shit," Gerard whispered as he rushed over and pulled her against him, letting her cry on his shoulder.

"It coulda been me. I could be in the hospital or dead right now and no one would even notice or care! Just another loser with no direction in life dead. I've wasted everything, I've ruined my whole life!"

"You haven't," Gerard said, rubbing her back. "I'd care very much if anything happened to you. And you have plenty of time. I had a job at a tv network and gave it up to form the band, and now I'm trying to get into comics."

"But I'm not talented like you! I have no skills, I never went to college because I didn't know what I wanted to do and I still don't. I just don't want to be stuck here the rest of my life waiting to get held up at gunpoint," she sobbed. "I'm just too stupid to get out of my own way long enough to figure anything out."

“No you aren't stupid, sometimes it just takes more time to get it figured out."

Eventually (YN)’s sobs started to quiet and she pulled back. “Thanks Gee. You really didn’t need to do this.”

“Yea I did. I couldn’t just let you be alone when you feel like this.”

(YN) sighed. “Every time I close my eyes I just picture it happening to me. I’m so tired, but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to sleep tonight.”

“Hang on,” Gerard said, getting up. (YN) saw the light from his room shut off, and he came back. “Ok, come here, I’ll keep you safe,” he said as he settled in next to her.

(YN) felt like her heart was going to burst through her chest as she slid down next to him. She laid her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

Something shifted in Gerard and (YN)’s relationship that night, although nothing was spoken of it. They started trading off whose bed they slept in, crawling into bed together just to be close to the other. When they watched a movie together, she rested her head against his shoulder. When (YN) was in the kitchen making coffee, Gerard would come in and wrap his arms around her and hold her close while she worked. The day after (YN) had a really bad shift at work, she came home and found a pink rose that looked like it had been trimmed from someone’s garden sitting on her bed.

It was a warm early fall evening when Gerard and (YN) showed up at a party held by a friend of a friend. (YN) had gone off to talk to Eli, and Gerard found himself watching her from across the yard. He wished he was by her side, his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close, that’s where he felt happiest.

"Why are you looking at your roommate like that?" Frank asked, appearing at Gerard's side.

“Jesus,” Gerard muttered under his breath, startled. “What are you talking about?”

“Like you wanna get out here and get on top-”

“Stop, no, it’s not like that,” Gerard shook his head.

“Oh, so you don’t care if I go ask her out then?”

“What? You can’t!” Gerard blurted out. “I mean, what about Jamia?”

Frank grinned and pointed a finger in Gerard's face. “Exactly! So what are you gonna do about it?”

“Everything is fine, we’re fine,” Gerard grumbled.

As the sun began to set more people showed up, filling up the backyard. Without warning there was a shout as two guys started pushing each other, and then punches began to fly.

(YN) found herself too near the fight and tried to get away from the fray, but more people were rushing to watch or take part in it and she couldn’t get past. Suddenly she felt someone grab her hand, interlacing their fingers with hers. She was about to pull away when she looked up and realized it was Gerard.

“Come on,” he said, pulling her out of the crowd.

“Thanks for not leaving me behind,” (YN) said once they were a safe distance from the fracus.

“I couldn’t ever leave you behind,” Gerard smiled back at her.

At that moment she became conscious of how their hands were still intertwined and how closely they were standing. (YN) didn’t want to move and lose the moment, but police sirens started cutting through the shouts of the brawl. “Oh shit," (YN) started laughing. “Let’s get out of here!”

“Here we go again,” Gerard smirked as they took off running, hand in hand, through the backyards until they couldn’t hear any of the commotion any longer. When they finally came out on a side street, they were both out of breath, but laughing. The smell of rain hung in the air.

“I have no idea where we are now,” (YN) laughed.

“Me neither, but,” Gerard trailed off with a shrug as they started walking aimlessly down the street.

(YN) glanced down, not totally understanding why Gerard was still holding her hand, but she still wasn’t planning on letting go. Then she noticed Gerard glancing down as well.

“(YN),” he started.

“Sorry,” she said, starting to pull her hand away, but Gerard held tighter.

“No, it’s not that,” he said, stopping under the street light. A soft rain began to fall around them. "It's that I don't wanna change things between us, but I really want to," he hesitated then took a step closer to (YN). He raised his free hand and gently caressed her cheek before leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.

(YN)'s mind was spinning. She couldn't believe that this was really happening, that Gerard, her roommate, her friend, was now kissing her in the middle of a desolate street. She kissed him back, not knowing if this would happen again, and she wanted to make the most of this chance.

Gerard's hand moved from her cheek to run through her hair, now soaked from the steady rain. He dropped her hand that he was still holding, but only so he could wrap his arm around her and pull her closer against him as he deepened the kiss and she draped her arms over his shoulders.

When they finally pulled apart, the rain had them both soaked and they were laughing together again. “We should try to find our way home,” Gerard said glancing around.

“Let’s go this way,” (YN) suggested with a nod down the street.

Gerard nodded with a smile and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they headed back to find the car.

The next morning (YN) woke up in her bed with Gerard holding her tight. She had hoped to spend all morning being lazy with him, but what had woken her up was her phone ringing on her bedside table.

“Hello?” She whispered.

“Hey (YN), I know you don’t work until this afternoon, but we got a call out, can you come in this morning and work a double?” (YN)’s manager asked.

(YN) let her face fall against her pillow and groaned softly. “Yea I guess so.”

“Great, see you as soon as you can get here.”

When (YN) glanced over at Gerard, he was just waking up. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted to spend the morning with you here, but I got called in for a double shift,” (YN) pouted.

“Damn,” Gerard frowned. “But I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I know,” she sighed before leaning in and kissing him softly. She climbed out of bed and got ready for work. The day seemed to drag by because all she wanted was to go home to Gerard.

“I’m so glad that day is done!” (YN) announced when she burst through the door. She waited for Gerard to reply but didn’t hear anything. “Gee? Are you here?”

“Yea,” he replied forlornly, coming out of his room.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I’m gonna go out to visit Mikey,” Gerard said.

“Oh cool!” (YN) smiled up at him and he felt like his heart was breaking.

“And when I’m out on the west coast, I’ve got a meeting with Dark Horse Comics about my project.”

“That’s awesome!” (YN) grinned. But when she didn’t see the same level of excitement in Gerard’s face, her own excitement faltered. “Isn’t it?”

“Yea, I guess. I’m just nervous about it. There are a few things they wanna discuss about developing it and stuff. But I might have to move out to the west coast if this all works out.”

“Oh,” (YN) said, surprised. She tried to keep her disappointment hidden. “That’s an incredible opportunity though.”

“I know, but we’ve only just-”

“Gerard, don't you think for even one second about not going because of me,” (YN) interrupted him. “I have wasted my entire life being so afraid that I’ll make the wrong choice, that I let every decent opportunity pass me by. I care about you too much to let you do the same.”

Gerard didn’t know how to respond, other than to take a step forward and wrap (YN) into a tight hug. "Thanks," he mumbled against her neck.

They stood like that for a while, neither willing to let go. “Come on, let’s order something for dinner to celebrate,” she suggested once they pulled back.

The following week, Mikey picked Gerard up from the airport. They put together a list of places Mikey loved to check out the next day.

After stopping at the coffee shop down the street, the comic book store that always had what Mikey was looking for, and the record shop with the friendly owner they went to the beach to kill time before dinner.

"You ok? Are you nervous about the meetings or something?" Mikey asked. He had noticed Gerard seemed distracted all day, but Gerard just shook his head. "Then what's wrong?" Mikey asked.

"I couldn't sleep last night," Gerard said with a glance at his brother.

"Is the bed uncomfortable?"

“No, it's not that," he paused. "It's that I can’t sleep without her,” Gerard said, looking down at his hands.

"(YN)?"

"Yea."

“How long have you been together?” Mikey asked.

“We haven’t officially, but it’s, I mean...” Gerard stammered, searching for the words to define something that had only just begun and had no definition.

“But you love her?” Mikey filled in the gaps, knowing Gerard better than Gerard knew himself.

Gerard listened to the waves crashing on the shore. He didn't even realize when he had fallen in love with (YN), because it wasn't like a lightning bolt from the sky. It grew out of lazy days talking for hours, nights sleeping in the other's bed just because they wanted to be that close to each other, the way her hair fell in her face, her laugh, her lips, her selflessness, the way she was always pushing him to do more and be better. And now there he was, missing her like crazy, ready to throw away his dream if she asked him to. But she hadn't, and she wouldn’t. She encouraged him to go across the country and chase it down, even if it meant leaving her behind.

“Yea,” he said with a soft smile and Mikey nodded.

Silence hung between the brothers for a while as the sun began to set. “It’s almost time to meet up with Kristin for dinner,” Mikey announced as he got up.

Gerard nodded and followed him back to the car. As they drove away from the beach, Gerard thought about how much he wanted to bring (YN) here. He knew she’d love it. It felt like there were so many possibilities, fresh starts for everyone. He just needed to get them out of New Jersey.

(YN) paced outside the arrivals gate, checking the screen with the times over and over. Gerard’s flight was on time, he should be arriving shortly. She had spent most of the day excited that he was coming back today, but now that she was at the airport waiting for him, she felt incredibly nervous.

Gerard hadn’t called since he let her know he had arrived safely. She had insisted that he spend his time with Mikey and getting ready for the meetings and not to worry about her, but that didn’t stop her from thinking about him all the time. The first night she tried to sleep in her own bed, but ended up crawling into his because his pillows smelled like him and it made her heart ache a little less. And it’s where she had spent the rest of the week.

That morning as she sat in his bed, knees pulled up to her chest as she sipped her coffee in the cool morning air, she looked around his space. They’d been living together almost a year now, and the room had become so uniquely his. The comics that were stacked up next to his bed, the drawings that littered his desk, the records in the crate he painted himself. All things that went into what added up to Gerard. She smiled softly as a realization dawned on her as she shivered.

“I love him,” (YN) admitted to herself softly. “I really, truly, love him.”

Now at the airport she glanced up at the screen and saw his flight had arrived. Her heart started hammering in her chest as she started to look around, not knowing how soon he’d appear. What felt like an eternity later, she finally spotted a mop of black hair.

“Gee!” She called as she rushed over to him. Gerard dropped his bag so he could wrap his arms around her in a big hug. He pulled her in for a kiss in the middle of the crowd of travelers.

“I missed you,” he murmured when they pulled back.

“Me too,” she smiled.

"Let's get out of here," he smiled as he took her hand and they went to find her car.

"So how was the trip? How was Mikey? And the meetings, tell me everything!" (YN) gushed as they finally arrived at her car.

"Mikey's doing really good. He has this girlfriend, Kristin, she's super sweet, you'll really like her," he said as he threw his bag in the trunk.

"Oh yea, maybe I’ll meet her one day," (YN) smiled.

“(YN), I wanted to wait until we were someplace nicer than the airport parking ramp, but I can't wait any longer. I got the job at Dark Horse so I’m gonna have to move out west,” he paused, reaching out and taking her hands. “But I can’t leave without you because I love you so much (YN). It’d be a new start for both of us, together. Please?”

It took (YN) a moment to fully process what Gerard said. "Yes!" She finally replied in awe.

Gerard grabbed her face between his hands and pulled her lips to his as tears spilled from behind her closed eyes. He held her close as he kissed her with everything he had. When they pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers.

“I love you too Gerard,” she murmured. “And thank you for not leaving me behind.”

“I couldn’t ever leave you behind.”

#gerard way x reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction

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ladyartemisia28 · 4 years

Text

Say Amen (Saturday Night)Chapter 4

Pairings: Prinxiety, side Logicality, Platonic Moxiety, Platonic/Family Logince.

Warnings: Cursing?

Words:4179

Summary: Sanders Sides Human College AU

Chapter 4- Nine in the Afternoon

Author’s Note- Very advised to get a hold of the song Welcome to the Black Parade- by My Chemical Romance.

After they finished gathering their things, Roman led Virgil out to the parking lot.

He slowly shuffled his feet as he caught up to Roman who walked up to open the trunk of a very nice red car. The symbol on the front of the car was a large L.

Virgil raised his eyes up from the ground to look at the vehicle with wide eyes.

“This is your car?” he roughly tossed his bag in the back set

“Yeah, I was hoping for a Lamborghini.” Roman joked with a wink as gently placed his bag in the trunk.

Virgil attempted silence small bitter voice in his head.

“When I was 14 and my cousin, Adora, got her Quiñceanera. She chose me to be her chambelán de honor or chosen escort. I was SOOOOOO JEALOUS!” He dramatically flourished with his hands as he grabbed the trunk lid and closed it shut. “So to bribe me my parents told me that they'd get me a car a year early.”

“Sorry but I have to ask, but I...I'm not sure what it is?” Virgil asked

“Oh uh, sorry” Roman apologized with a smile.

Virgil hummed as a response.

“It's the big birthday that Cis Latina girls get when they turn into 'women'. Silly and patriarchal, I know!” Roman added with a open palms gesture when he saw the eyebrow raise that Virgil gave. “But it was so fun, so fancy and beautiful!”

Roman pushed the key fob to unlock the car and they got themselves settled in.

“It's fucked up that other genders don't get anything like that.”

“Yeah I even stole the catalogue that she picked her dress out of. I cut out my favourites and glued my face on them. Put them all up and down my mirror.” Roman said with a proud smile remembering the happy memories.

Images of Roman in slinky cocktail dresses rushed into Virgil's mind. His face dropped to a small frown as he struggled to stop that particular train of thought.

Roman was unsure if he had said something that upset Virgil to make him clam up again.

"Uh you can pick the music if you'd like?” Roman offered as a break in the sudden silence. “CD's are in the middle.”

He waited for Virgil to buckle himself in before he pulled his car out of the parking lot. Virgil went through all the preset radio stations before opening the middle console.

“CD's? I would have thought that you would have your car set up with Spotify or Pandora or something like that?” he said as he opened opened the console and looked through the collection

“Eh, CD's are great. No commercials for long car trips. ”

All of the Cds were for musicals, a few that he had heard of like Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, and Guys and Dolls. And some that Virgil didn't know, Dear Evan Hanson, Six the Musical, and...Legally Blonde? He did not know that that was a musical.

Then he spotted one that Roman had mentioned.

“Um, any suggestions from Heathers? You said that I might like this the 7/11 song?”

“I usually go through the whole thing in order....but I suggest for you, Track number 4.”

“Could I get some context?” Virgil asked as he pressed the button for the track number.

“The uh, 7/11 scene in the movie...But in song.” Roman offered with a bit of a smug smile.

“I probably should have guessed that.” he admitted with a grumble.

Virgil closed his eyes as he listened to the song and imagined the scene in his head.

Just like in the Heathers movie JD was recounting to Veronica how he travelled all over the place because of his father. And because of that he didn't feel like he was able to connect to the people and places. No place felt like home, except for 7/11.

It was always a weird scene in Virgil's opinion. Like JD is just opening up to this person he just met and telling her his very strong feelings about a convenience store and Slushies.

Even though it was strange Virgil had to admit, it was a good song. Parts of the song were a little to close to home, like “When the voice in your head says you're better off dead”.

“So what do you think? ”

“Yeah I get it. Its good.”

“That's all?” Roman asked exasperatedly

“I guess I was expecting something different???”

“Like what?”

“I just thought that JD was going to be a little more intense. Like crazy sounding or something?”

“Ah what YOU are searching for is 'Meant to Be Yours' number 17.”

He pressed the button until he reached the number and sat back in his seat to listen.

“So is that was you were expecting?” Roman asked as they exited the car after arriving at the store.

“Yeah, it was” Virgil smiled “Real Intense.”

The pair stopped after they reached to threshold to get their bearings.

“I get so lost in here.” Roman complained with a slight whine to his voice. “I don't usually do the grocery shopping.

Before Virgil could comment Roman continued.

“Lo likes to go to make sure that the budget is kept tight, but he's been so busy with his job. He just got his a new taker for his math tutoring.”

“So Logan's your brother?” Virgil

“My brother, well Step brother. My Mama married his Papa. When I was old enough to remember that I was getting a new family, but young enough that it's no longer weird.” Roman offered a little bit more information than necessary.

Roman briefly considered mentioning that he was at the party and Virgil had briefly seen him, but he didn't want to bring up the previous night.

At lest he didn't want to bring it up first.

They were getting along so well that he didn't want to make Virgil uncomfortable.

“Really, I grew up with him so he is my brother. Soooooo do you have any siblings?” Roman began to play with the sleeves of his jacket as he attempted a more personal question.

“Uh yeah, a older sister” he muttered.

“And her name is...?”

“Melantha,” he responded with little inflection “she prefers to be called Missy.”

“Melantha?! WOW, huh! Did your parents just grab a baby name book and open a page at random for ALL their kids!” Roman teased with a mocking laugh as they arrived at the Dairy and Juice section.

“Yeah haha, Virgil's got a weird name. I've NEVER heard that before.” Virgil rolled his eyes as his tone changed from frosty to salty. “You know Roman isn't really the most common name either.”

“I am far from COMMON! Besides I wasn't saying your name was BAD! It is 'strange and usual like you'.” Roman winked as he tried to steer their conversation back to more friendly waters.

“Quoting Beetljuice at me? You'll have to do better than that.” Virgil grinned in spite of himself as he grabbed a six pack of orange drink and placed it in the cart.

“Come on you gotta give a guy some credit for remembering what your interests are right?”

“Yeah I guess” he said with a reluctantly happier tone.

“Hey do you see the Almond Milk?” Roman asked after he finished his scan bottles and cartons.

“Uh no, I think that might be over in the Organic or like Vegan section. Why does your brother have you on a specialized diet as well as his, what was it? His extremist water agenda? What does that even mean?” Virgil chuckled as he took the cart from Roman and led him toward the other end of the store.

“It's just what I call his super weird thing about getting enough water everyday. And yeah he does keep our kitchen stocked with a lot of green veggies. Also he checks to sure I kept up a sleep schedule”

Virgil's eyebrows rose in surprise at hearing all things.

“Yikes, he sounds like a bit of a control freak...”

“Yeah he is sometimes. Like I have hide my Butterfinger stash from him.” Roman complained. “He's not as bad I make him sound...NEVER tell him I told you that.”

Roman went over to the shelf and looked over the choices, Soy, Almond, Lactose- Free lined the shelves.

“Oh and to answer why the special milk, I'm THINKING of starting the Paleo diet right now. My brother has no influence on this though, just want to try and see what works. I might try Keto if this one doesn't work for me.

“ah right.” Virgil nodded eyes slightly widened hoping that the look on his face didn't betrayal the fact that he did NOT know what the heck a Paleo or a Keto diet meant.

Virgil felt heard a chime from his pocket so he pulled out his phone.

“Hey I'm going to get this.” he shook his phone up to show Roman before he stepped away from the cold of the meat section.

Roman nodded in return as he turned to look at the selection of skinless chicken.

Virgil got a message from Green_Tea_Gay on his Instagram account, Anxious_On_Main.

'Hey so that “Study Partner” is a hot piece!'

'Remy do you have a point' Virgil replied

'Gurl do you know? have you seen his pics? HOW is he Single!!'

After the three little dots disappeared in their place were several pictures

His face reddened as he looked at the pictures of the previously mentioned selfies. Roman wearing tight jeans in front of a mirror with his backside captured on the camera. Another with him laying on his stomach caught at an angle getting his short clad behind in shot.

He quickly glanced over to Roman, who was still distracted.

He looked back at him phone and quickly texted back.

'Don't send me those!'

'They are posted to the public! I didn't hack his phone'

'I don't care, no more pics of his butt'

'K'

Just about the time he was going to put his phone back into his pocket another chime stopped him.

The next series of pictures were of Roman exercising posing with a dumbbell doing a curl, stretching, and other gym activities,

And the last was Roman in swimwear that exposed more skin than he thought was allowed outside of certain websites.

His body felt instant heat and he looked and took a few calming breaths before returning to message Remy.

'I said no more pics!'

'Sis you told me no pics of his ass'

'DO NOT SEND PICTURES OF ROMAN SANDERSON!'

'Easy there Baby! No need to get your knickers in a twist. I'm just trying to help. Look at what you will be missing if you don't Snatch. That. Up!'

'What the hell Rem! We are NOT getting together! He is not into me.'

'Nah sweetie, you should have been paying more attention. That is totally a smitten kitten'

'You are the worst'

'No I am literally the best and you two are soooo getting together. Don't worry I know I made my point.'

'You asshole'

'Enjoy the pictures ;)'

Roman noticed that after he returned from his handling of his phone business Virgil had gotten quiet again and seemed to shift his gaze away from Roman.

'Did I spent too much time with the chicken?'

They walked down to the breakfast aisle.

As Virgil picked up some a box of Count Chocula cereal Roman slowed the cart to a stop behind him.

“You can only get this one around this time of year” he looked at it with a fondness that made Roman's stomach flip.

“So what are you planning on making?” Roman asked as he leaned his arms on the handle bar of the cart.

“Making? Uh, nothing, just like a bowl of cereal.... like with milk...from a cow” Virgil tilted his head to one side.

Confusion on his face as he held up the box and gave it a shake.

Roman could feel heat creep over his face, he was very caught off guard by the unexpected softness on Virgil's face.

'Shit!...now he thinks I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to eat cereal!'

Virgil turned around and did not see Roman's flushed face as he hide his own.

Basic cereal... I guess I could be making something with it like a cereal bar or something? A cake? Maybe? It isnt very impressive...and it's probably not on the platleo diet or whatever it was...

They stood in awkward silence until Virgil turned back around.

“I guess that cereal isn't something that YOU would be eating.” he looked at the cart. “From what I see here, you eat like you are going to be in the next Avengers movie or something.”

“Thanks, I mean I try.” Roman said with his eyes downwards as his body did an uncharacteristic shy sway.

“Yeah, I gues if you workout half as much as you take all those pictures, you could get away with more than the occasional Butterfinger.” Virgil's eyes widened as he realized what he had said.

'.. shut up! shut up! shut up!'

Roman's head snapped up to look at Virgil.

“You've seen my gyms pictures?” Roman asked in a whisper.

“Ah Yeah that's like all over your Instagram page,” he attempted to sound super casual

He did not sound casual.

Like at all

They felt a charged moment between them and the longer it went on the longer they were unsure of who was going to break the silence.

Roman took it upon himself to interrupt the quiet as he tool the box of chocolate cereal in hand.

“I like the marshmallow bats.” he said with sheepish smile.

When they returned to the car they loaded Roman's groceries into the trunk and Virgil's bags into the back seat. Then they got themselves settled in their seats.

“SO where am I uh dropping you off?” Roman asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

“I live in the dorms," Virgil asked as he started his usual habit of checking all the radio stations. “You don't?”

He found a song that he seemed to like on one of stations, Roman recognized it as a song by Imagine Dragons.

“I live in a apartment a little bit away from the college, with Logan.”

“Um, I live in the north dorms.” Virgil said as he a small bit of nervousness as took his thumbnail between his teeth. “With Patton, my best friend.”

After that song ended, a G piano note began the next song. Roman vaguely recognized it from somewhere he couldn't place. He figured when it got to the singing part he would be able to identify it.

Virgil tensed out of both excitement and fear.

He was about to embarrassed himself in front of Roman. At lest Roman was driving so he wouldn't be stared at. So he took a breath and let himself focus on the lyrics.

“When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city” Virgil sang out beautifully. “To see a marching band”

Roman's jaw dropped and his breath stilled. He felt like he was going to swoon.

He was so very grateful that they were at a red stoplight.

“He said, son, when you grow up Would you be the saviour of the broken The beaten, and the damned? He said, will you defeat them Your demons and all the non-believers?”

Virgil sang with closed eyes losing himself in the song. While Roman's heart thumped hard in his chest and he felt an assortment of warring emotions.

“The plans that they have made? Because one day I'll leave you A phantom to lead you in the summer To join the black parade”

As the song picked up in tempo Roman realized where he had heard this song before. He remembered that he had a few friends who were into My Chemical Romance, it was 'Welcome to the Black Parade'.

“When I was a young boy My father took me into the city To see a marching band He said, son, when you grow up Will you be the savior of the broken The beaten, and the damned?”

Virgil continued a little more intensely. As the song got more upbeat Roman joined Virgil in singing and continued his drive toward the dorm.

“Sometimes I get the feeling She's watching over me And other times I feel like I should go”

Virgil eyes popped wide open and he smiled.

“And through it all The rise and fall The bodies in the streets And when you're gone, we want you all to know

We'll carry on, we'll carry on And though you're dead and gone, believe me Your memory will carry on We'll carry on And in my heart I can't contain it The anthem won't explain it”

As Roman turned a corner they continued to sing together

“A world that sends you reeling From decimated dreams Your misery and hate will kill us all So paint it black And take it back Let's shout it loud and clear Defiant to the end We hear the call”

Roman followed the music with dramatic hand gestures as he continued driving with his left hand. Even Virgil joined in with less dramatic the hand motions.

“To carry on We'll carry on And though you're dead and gone, believe me Your memory will carry on We'll carry on And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches”

Virgil sang with a full grinning face, his relief at Roman joining him in singing the song had caused him to relax and he was able to sing louder with more feeling.

“On and on, we carry through the fears (Oh, oh, oh) Disappointed faces of your peers (Oh, oh, oh)”

Take a look at me 'Cause I could not care at all”

Roman held onto the note at the end for a bit. Virgil continued on with the lyrics

Do or die, you'll never make me Because the world will never take my heart Go and try, you'll never break me We want it all, we wanna play this part I won't explain or say I'm sorry I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar Give a cheer for all the broken Listen here, because it's who we are I'm just a man, I'm not a hero Just a boy, who had to sing this song I'm just a man, I'm not a hero I don't care

They arrived at the dorms parking lot and Roman parked.

We'll carry on We'll carry on And though you're dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on You'll carry on

And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches on

Roman contuined his singing the longer held notes as they song concluded.

Do or die, you'll never make me Because the world will never take my heart Go and try, you'll never break me We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on) Do or die, you'll never make me (We'll carry on) Because the world will never take my heart (We'll carry on) Go and try, you'll never break me (We'll carry) We want it all, we wanna play this part (We'll carry on)

“We'll carry on!”

They both sang as the song ended to the sounds of drums.

At the conclusion of the song both Virgil and Roman were out of breath and grinning.

Roman felt his heart race.

He had thought that he had experienced maximum attraction that morning toward Virgil. But he was very wrong.

'Damnit Virgil why does your voice have to sound like sexy melted chocolate!'

He fought every instinct to just lean over and initiate a vehicular makeout session.

Roman caught a brief glimpse of Virgil's eyes peak out from underneath his bangs and he gave him a very full smile.

Virgil nervously took a glance at Roman from underneath his dark hair.

Roman had the brightest and most authentic smile that Virgil thought he ever saw on his face.

It wasn't like Virgil thought that Roman faked his other smiles, the feelings of joy and friendliness were not false. But it seemed a lot of the other smiles that Roman gave seemed too perfect, Virgil guessed he practised his expressions in front of a mirror.

This smile was of shear amazement, it was pointed in Virgil's direction. Like he could not believe what he heard, it caused Virgil to feel an annoying sensation in his chest.

“I didn't know you could sing” Roman spoke softly breaking the silence.

“Uh sure I guess I can sing a tune here or there.” Virgil shrugged with a dismissive sigh.

“I think its more than that!” Roman attempted to offer him a very sincere compliment.

“Yeah I'm not about to sell out stadiums anytime.” Virgil chuckled at the thought.

'I wish you were in a band. I'd buy all your albums. Be front row in your concerts, I'd....shit I can't tell him any of this!'

“So My Chemical Romance huh?” Roman said with a wide smirk.

“What about it?!”

“They are like the most cliché Emo band ever.” Roman snickered.

“Ah cliche? Really YOU want to go there do you?!” Virgil said

“Whatever do you mean by that?” Roman asked with a raised eyebrow.

“For a theatre kid you would think you'd dress a bit more stylish or something?” Virgil attempted to say with an indifferent air.

“What like take the costume from Hot Mikado out around the quad?”

“Absolute no clue what that is.” Virgil laughed as he exited the vehicle.

“It's....never mind that. I have only dressed subtly to spare those around me. ” Roman responded as he walked to back of the car. “How would anyone be able to concentrate on their schooling if I were to show up in full regalia?!”

“Full Regalia, huh, you sure think highly of yourself don't you? I'm not sure you should be bragging quite so much.”

“Is that a formal challenge?” Roman felt his racing heart in his chest in the midst of their back and forth.

“Not sure how impressive you'll actually be, but I'll keep an open mind, I guess.” Virgil shrugged with a small smirk as he began to take out the bags.

'I'll show him'

Roman noticed a few heavier bags that he could chivalrously offer to help him with.

“I can help you carry some of your groceries to your dorm?”

“Ah you just want an excuse to come to my room.” Virgil teased in a deep low voice as he waited for Roman to banter back.

“YES YOU BET I DO!!!!....play it cool, Roman play it cool!'

“N...no...! I uh... as a gentleman I ... have to help anyone I see that is in need...” Roman sputtered out before he took ahold of small package of bagels “You ...you have... you have to carry..lots there.”

Virgil read his flustering as a rejection of his flirtation.

“No thanks! I got it! ” he quickly and loudly shouted in a panic as he took the bag out of Roman's hands.

Virgil thought that he and Roman had just shared a moment together.

'You just were imaging it! You shouldn't have believed Remy, you complete moron! ' He sling his messenger bag over his shoulder.

Then he draped the loops of the several other bags onto each elbow crook. And then took another bag into his left hand.

As he struggled to stuff the bagel bag into an already full bag, Roman again attempted to offer help.

“It's not a problem!” Roman gestured to the bagels.

“NO! I got it” Virgil just wanted to disappear as quickly as he could. He then placed the plastic of the bag in between his teeth.

“Cee Ou ENESAH.” Virgil shouted through clenched teeth as he retreated.

“Uh yeah.” Roman spoke to an empty damp parking lot. “see you”

Author's Note

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE SO SORRY for the long wait!

The long pause was due to new job and lack of constant access to a working computer.

I think I will still have a job later after the situation clears, but I am unsure....

ANYWAYS!

What do people think of me backtracking and converting all of the mentions of DEE to JAE? It won't be too much trouble as he has not even appeared yet.

Taglist: (PS YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!)

@tatesinclairr

@love-is-the-fear-of-loss

@misslilidelaney

@ishoulddyemyhairthatcolour

@dwbh888

@violetshovel

@sadgayisme

#Prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #prinxiety fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #virgil sanders #say amen fanfic

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