#my complicated thoughts about the perfect court

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

Strap in if you dare, I’m going to talk about Riko.

Yes, he is a Bad Person. Nothing I’m about to say counters that. However… evil isn’t always so obvious as to dress in black and torture everyone you love. Evil is insidious and nuanced - it can creep in when you aren’t expecting it and have no defences. We’ve been given this incredibly complex and interesting example of it, and we’ve been given it for a reason. Riko is a character worth trying to understand.

Could Riko ever have been saved, and if so what would it have taken? What if he’d been able to follow the Fox path to redemption instead of the Ravens to perdition?

Except both Foxes AND Ravens were traumatised… the thing that ruined Riko was power. Lincoln said it: “nearly all men can stand adversity but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Who was Riko without power? It’s hard to see.

So I’m fascinated by a different question - how did Riko see Riko?

We know how the Foxes saw him: a low-functioning sociopath with zero coping skills and the personality of a cat trapped in a wall cavity. Presumably that’s not how he saw himself. What kind of headcannon did he construct for himself, what was his own personal mythology?

We know he wanted his father’s approval, he wanted to be number one. We know how badly he dealt with those desires being thwarted.

I know how it feels to be an abandoned child. You feel like the outer edges of a person, with this gaping hole in the centre. It’s not just that you lost a loved one, it’s - how can I say it - it’s like the clasp that lets you hold on to people has been torn out too. Everyone will leave now, and you know it.

(I didn’t cope by turning my bedroom into Abu Ghraib, though.)

It’s the worst of both worlds. His father is far enough away to cause that gaping wound, yet not sufficiently gone for it to ever close over and heal.

But… despite his impossible situation, Riko wasn’t withdrawing into himself. Resentment ate away at him and he liked doing side-projects of revenge, but it was hope driving him on. I see Riko as someone with a very hot flame in them, someone determined to succeed (like Neil). He was driven, even if the goal he chased so eagerly was an illusion. I think he saw his situation as a challenge, an opportunity to prove himself and eventually take his rightful place at his father’s side (surely that’s what Kengo really meant, surely this was a test, a test he can pass if he just wins one more time...)

Imagine something like… the second son of a Roman emperor, sent to some far-off outpost to get him out of the way subdue rebel tribes. A chance to make a name for himself, an opportunity to create an elite unit where violence and skill are everything, where winning is everything. A challenge he accepts with savage excitement.

And the world views them with the kind of awe once reserved for ancient Sparta. Unsurpassed warriors, impossibly focussed. Yes, they endure conditions no one else could even consider but they always win, and everyone loves winners. They are the legends of legends. Surely his father will see.

Kevin was his Lancelot, his shining sword, his right hand. Kevin added to Riko’s status, assured him he must be a hero if he had such a splendid champion at his side.

But Kevin is beautiful, so perhaps Riko’s feelings were more complicated than that, perhaps they were feelings he couldn’t admit he had. He could still work those feelings into the overall picture though… it’s all part of Kevin being his beloved champion.

Until the champion started edging him out of his own story and had to be sacrificed. A necessary sacrifice, but losing Kevin struck a huge blow to the mythology Riko built up about himself. He could no longer look in the mirror, side by side, and see Kevin’s glory (and, yes, Kevin’s dad) reflected back as though it belonged to him too.

Despite this Riko finds a way to keep winning, even without his champion. Surely that is even more impressive? Can his father see that?

Still no response. In the story Riko constructs for himself his father does no wrong, so this towering rage he feels has to crash down on someone else. He tells himself he is punishing his troops for daring to be unworthy.

Then there is Jean, someone from a caste so low as to be unclean, even subnormal, someone it would hurt Riko’s prestige to treat with any kind of respect. But Jean is also beautiful, and those feelings can’t be worked into the myth. Their outlet is the darkness behind closed doors, along with all the other feelings that don’t fit the story of the hero.

Harming his people, his intimate possessions, was Riko’s coping mechanism for rejection and humiliation the way self-harm in many forms is to many others. (Are you hearing me if I say hurting yourself is hurting your own Perfect Court, and there is collateral damage even if you think it’s just you, because people love you and suffer because of it? Are you hearing me if I say stop being Riko to yourself?)

And maybe his enjoyment of that cruelty was, deep down, a form of denial that the cruelty arose from anguish. ‘No I’m not upset, I’m not a loser, I’m in control, I’m doing this because I like it…’ Maybe even to the point where rendition becomes sexual.

But it’s starting to unravel. He’s lost his only friend and can no longer unleash his mounting frustrations on Jean the way he wants to; he’s running out of pieces for his board.

Then he finds the fugitive his family were chasing for so long. This is his big chance. He’ll have a brand new champion for his stable or a valuable offering to please his father, he wins either way.

He captures this feral child who tells him there is no empty throne waiting by the side of the emperor, Kengo never mentions his son’s name, Riko is nothing more than a joke in that far-off capital. So much scorn in those words that the carefully constructed mythology withers before it.

First the would-be rook took the queen, then the wild-card knight escapes again, and now the whipping boy / concubine / bishop is taken by a girl with a cross around her neck. The king has lost all his men… because that’s your REAL story, isn’t it: everyone leaves you.

And then… Kengo dies.

Yes, Riko is a Bad Person. No, I do not like him. But Nora gave us two boys who met their brother for the first time, two boys who cried out their brother’s name only to see their hopes shattered. And in that moment they were one, so I cannot dismiss this monstrous, horrible abomination no matter how hard I try.

I can however dismiss anyone who says Nora is not a goddess of writing.

[hyperboleigh91]

Listen, I still really like Kevin and think he has a good heart overall. The situation at the Nest was too complicated and horrible to just damn him for saving himself and leaving Jean.

However; I do also feel mad at him. Yes, he was young and scared when he ran, but Jean is even younger than him and was also scared. Kevin would have been Jean's only kindness at Evermore, and Jean trusted Kevin.

Jean telling Kevin that he understood Kevin leaving, but Kevin didn't have to cut his throat on the way out is a completely valid response. And it makes sense that Kevin could never repair that broken trust/relationship.

Jean likely thought hoped that Kevin cared about him more than he cared about Exy. And Kevin didn't. At least not at the time. And we see Jean reflect on this, thinking Kevin only sees the court, but he stopped expecting Kevin to see more than that years ago.

As salve for the hurt, and in contrast to the first person Jean was attached to after coming to the US, we have Renee and Jeremy who want what's best for Jean, Exy be damned.

Renee loves Jean, truly loves him, but is willing to let him go while still being there for him if it means that he has a chance to find happiness.

And then Jeremy.... his promise to Jean is literally exactly what Jean wished from Kevin.

“Maybe you’ll define success by how we do this season, but I’m not obligated to do the same. You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court. You take care of one, and I’ll take care of the other.” - Jeremy

[sapphiresandferrari]

Heaven on dirt (2/?)

Summary: When lady y/n Lannister moves to King's landing to be Queen Haelena lady in waiting, she didn't think she could catch the attention of a certain one-eye prince

During her stay, the two of them grow more and more fond of each other, but what happen when they both get betrothed to other people?

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Lannister reader

Warnings: fluff, smut in the next chapters, perv Tyland Lannister, Plotto Otto Hightower being the usual controlling freak, kind of slow burn

A/N: here we are with the second chapter of this fic, sorry I made you wait so long

English is NOT my first language, so apologies if there are any mistakes

Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, feel free to give me advices or suggestions, just remember to be polite

Hope you enjoy it 🫶🏻

“I found this one while I was walking in the garden six moons ago, he was all alone on a leaf, so I took him with me”

Queen Haelena was explaining to you everything about her insects, she was so enthusiast about them, that you didn’t have the courage to tell her that you were deeply repulsed by them, scared even, not wanting to have those things near you.

You knew what it felt like to not been understood for your interests, and the look on her face when she talked about them, made you heart clenched, she was such a pure soul, and you were happy to spend your days in her company.

You saw the queen taking a spider in her hands, explaining to you that it was extremely rare to find, thus why it was her favourite “my dear brother gave it to me for my name day, I don’t know how he managed to get it, considering that it can mostly be find in Essos, that’s why it’s so dear to me”

As she mentioned her brother, your mind immediately went to the dinner you had with her family when you arrived, when prince Aemond defended you from your uncle comment.

“Prince Aemond seems to be a proper gentleman, my queen, is no wonder that he gave you such a special gift, he seems to care for you very much”

Your cheeks flushed at the thought of the prince, although his appearance was peculiar, to say the least, you still found him handsome, with his mysterious aura and the eyepatch that made him look like a character from the novels you so adore.

Haelena didn’t miss to notice your reaction when she mentioned her brother, just like she didn’t miss how Aemond reacted whenever she was around or when he heard her name, but while it was easier to let her new friend admit that she fancied her brother, Aemond on the other hand was a much more complicated matter.

He was proud and with everything he went through his childhood and considering how almost every lady at court thought he was repulsive, it wouldn’t be easy to let him admit that he was developing some feelings for lady Y/N.

They could make a nice couple, the queen thought, they shared a lot of interests, and y/n calm nature seemed to be a good match with Aemond’s dark demeanour.

She would’ve speak with her brother that evening, try to learn more about his brother’s true thoughts about her new lady in waiting, surely not an easy task but she was tired to see his brother being this unhappy, she knew he was a man with so much love to give, yet it was hard for him to let go of the mask that he has been wearing for all these years, he was scared of being hurt again, understandably so.

“Did I tell you that my brother is very fond of history books? Maybe you should ask him to show you the library one day, I’m sure you’ll love it” lady y/n blushed, it seemed that the queen figured that she had an interest on her brother, wondering if it was this obvious to other people as well, most of all the prince.

She couldn’t stop thinking about him since that dinner, the way he defended her made her heart flutter.

y/n hoped the prince didn’t think of her to be a pathetic little girl, she genuinely wanted to know him better, he seemed interesting, compared to his brother, he was the perfect man, smart, educated, polite, she wouldn’t mind a husband like him.

“Is fine my queen, I’m sure the prince has too many things to do than show me the library, there’s no need for him to help me, he already did too much the other evening”

“My brother doesn’t like injustices, after what happened to him, he seems to be…captivated by you, my lady”

“What…what happened to him? Is it about how he lost his eye?” lady y/n tried to ignore what the queen said, about the prince being captivated by her, she had to force herself not to think about him in a romantic way, it would only cause her pain, she would never be able to marry him.

“He will tell you what happened when he feels like, my lady”

“of course, my queen, I shouldn’t have asked, my curiosity got the best of me”

“that’s understandable, but unfortunately is not up to me to tell you about his accident”

y/n lower her gaze on her embroidery loom, wondering what must’ve happened to him, asking herself if he will ever tell her about his accident.

After a bit, a servant entered the room, telling the queen that her mother was waiting for her in the gardens.

“Would you like to join us lady y/n?”

“Oh it is a kind offer my queen, but I think I will go to the library, I haven’t seen it yet and you made me curious after your comment earlier, I hope you don’t mind”

“Not at all, you may go, we will see each other tomorrow my lady”

And with a small courtesy, y/n headed to the library, hoping to spend the rest of her day reading in peace.

Aemond’s mind was elsewhere that morning, like all the other mornings since she came to the red keep.

She intoxicated his mind, she was all he could think off, when he wasn’t thinking about the war.

He realised how bad it was, when even Ser Criston scolded him during their sparring session

“you’ve lost focus my prince, you can’t risk it in battle” Cole paused a bit, looking at the prince with a sympathetic expression “if I may, my prince, maybe you should spend some time with the Lannister girl, she’s clearly clouding your mind, maybe if you” hearing those words Aemond interrupted the knight immediately “you went to far Ser Criston, do not forget your position”.

The prince was angry, he hated how obvious it was to everyone that lady y/n is now living rent free in his mind.

It never happened to him before, usually ladies at court are so dull and empty, not a single thought in their heads.

But lady Lannister was different: he saw her interacting with his sister sometimes, feeling embarrassed at the memory of him sneaking in his sister room to check on her.

He wanted to be sure they would get along, and he was stunned by how she was treating his siter.

Lady y/n was clearly displeased by her sister’s bugs, yet she tried to not show it on her face, not wanting to make her sister bad for her odd interest.

“Today’s sparring session is over Sir Criston, I wish to go to the library” Aemond said, the knight’s comment still echoing in his mind “as you wish my prince, apologies for my comment, it was improper of me”

With a grunt, the prince headed to the library, wanting to relax in front of the fireplace.

Reading is probably one of the few things that make Aemond feel at peace, besides when he flies on his dragon.

He thought about maybe try and inviting Lady Lannister to the library one day, he didn’t recall if she already went there, but knowing the interest in books they both share, this could be the perfect occasion for start becoming familiar with her.

But as he reached the handle to open the door of the library, he stops in his track, immediately recognising her sweet voice, reading out loud.

“King Aegon entered the throne room, finding queen Visenya beside the iron chair “a..abr…abra” is that…high valyrian?” the prince smiled, it was quite funny to see her struggling with the language of his ancestors.

“It is, my lady, the word you’re trying to read is pronounced ābrazȳrys, it means wife” lady y/n jumped when she heard his voice, she was not expecting to see the prince, and now she felt embarrassed that he saw her struggling like that.

“Thank you, my prince, I started reading this history book about Aegon the conqueror and I seem to struggle with some words”

Aemond was amused to see that she showed interested in the deeds of his ancestors, he knows those books by heart, so he thought he could use it to his advantage to know her better.

“I apologize if I scared you, it was not my intention”

“Is not trouble, my prince, I appreciate your help…I was wondering, would you help me with another words? I stumbled over it earlier and I’m not quite sure about its meaning”

The prince moved towards her, eager to help her.

“Sure, my lady, I’m happy to help” he sits beside her, his eye scanning her gentle features while she was searching for whatever words she didn’t understand.

“Is this one, my prince, I imagine it might mean fire, or something similar, since the king is talking to his dragon, but I’m not sure”

“May I, my Lady?” y/n nodded, giving the prince the book to read the word she couldn’t understand.

“you’re correct, Lady y/n, it means, indeed, fire, is a command we use on our dragons when we want for them to burn something, you did well”

y/n was happy to see that she wasn’t wrong with her assumption and was eager to know more about this fascinating language.

“And how do you pronounce it, if I can ask?” clearly curious to learn, she made the one eye prince smile.

“drakarys” y/n got distracted by how his tempting lips were pronouncing that word, blushing at the thought of how they must feel on hers

“dra-ka-rys” she repeated slowly, Aemond feeling proud of how quickly she learnt and actually smart she was.

“Precisely, my lady, you did well”

Hearing those words, lady y/n felt an odd feeling inside of her, wanting to hear more praises coming out from his lips, so she surprised herself and asked “can you teach me, my prince? I want to learn high valyrian, it’s such an interesting language, I want to know more”.

Her enthusiastic tone shocked him, but it was in that moment that he realised that he couldn’t let her slip away.

In his mind it was clear, lady y/n would’ve been his wife, at this point, it was stupid of him to deny his growing feelings for the Lannister girl.

And when he saw the spark in her eyes when he agreed to teach her, he realised he was doomed.

Previous chapter <-

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[pit-and-the-pen]

Dirty Little Secret

Day 3 of @erisweekofficial: healing/betrayal

Summary: You were one of Beron’s top spies, your assignment, Eris. Little did you know how complicated that was going to get…

Warnings: Beron being awful, burning, violence + injury

WC:2.7k

Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

You woke up to find the other side of the bed already empty. This has become the new normal for you. The past few months you would go to bed wrapped around Eris and come morning he would be gone. It was really for the best.

Even if he was doing it to protect your image. something he didn’t need to worry about in the slightest. Eris believed you were nothing more than a newly appointed lady, and didn't question your sudden arrival into the court. The very opposite in fact, he had approached you first. Took you riding less than a week after first introducing himself. You never expected to enjoy his company so much, never intended on sneaking off into hidden corners of the palace to press his lips against yours.

It had all happened so quickly that you were still struggling to wrap your mind around it. Every time the guilt threatened to eat you alive. But as you rolled over and barrier your face into a pillow that still smelt of cloves and pine, you couldn’t find it in yourself to put a stop to it. 

A knock on the door had you quickly tugging your discarded dress over your head. It cracked open to reveal one of Berons men. 

“You’re needed.” Was all he said, voice clipped and annoyed. You fought the urge to roll yours eyes 

-------

Beron’s office was one of your least favorite places to be, second only to the tunnels of dungeons he has hidden under the forest palace. At Least those places didn’t hide what they were used for. Didn’t try to go through all the pomp and posturing that had no one fooled. Berons office was covered in dark mahogany wood, lush and dark velvets. If it was anyone else in the room it would be homey. But with Beron’s anger like a pulsing heartbeat in the room, it felt like walking into a tomb. 

“Report.” He barely looked up from the papers in front of him. 

”There’s nothing to report.” You told Beron as you stood across from his desk. 

“I’m not paying you to sleep with my son. I’m paying you to find out what he’s up to.” 

You didn’t back down, didn’t break his stare. “You told me to do whatever it took to get him to talk, to trust me. And I’m telling you, he hasn’t told me anything.”

”Then keep looking.” He waved his hand in a clear dismissal. You gave a curt nod of your head and exited the room without looking back. 

You traveled down the hidden passages of the palace, wanting to avoid contact with anyone that would be more than happy to sell the information of you leaving Beron’s office. The paths were designed for servants to travel without being seen, which was more than fine with you. After all, you were no different than a servant for Beron. YOu mind was spinning, replaying the conversation. Keep looking. It was such a ridiculous notion. You spent every minute you could with Eris but Beron refused to believe that he simply wasn’t up to anything at all. Convinced that his son was plotting something he just didn’t know what or who with. 

Nevermind that you had noticed that Eris was going somewhere, but it wasn’t worth drawing attention to until you had more details. You found a small part of you that didn't want those answers. Didn’t want to pry information out of the sweet redhead that was slowly starting to consume your thoughts. 

The passageway opened up right next to the door to the garden and you decided a walk would be the perfect way to clear your head. The crisp autumn air always helps you relax. The slight bite that reminded you of each breath. 

Soon enough, the perfectly manicured lawns gave way to winding pathways and thick forest. You could hear the sounds of birds flying in the high branches, animals crunching on the fallen leaves. A pair of hands at your waist had you spinning quicker than you could process, your arm braced against their throat as you backed them against a nearby tree. Warm amber eyes were open wide in shock. 

“Oh my gods.” You scrambled and stepped away from a rather surprised Eris.

He rubbed his neck lightly with a hand, “Remind me to never sneak up on you again.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

He wrapped a hand around your front, pulling you tight against him. 

“I think I can maybe forgive you. If…” He trailed off. YOu rolled your eyes but couldn’t keep the smile off your face. 

“If?” You raised an eyebrow at him, head slightly inclined up to look at him as he pressed himself closer. 

“I’ll think about forgiving you if you kiss me.”

“I’d kiss you even if you didn’t.” You rose onto your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his. When you tried to pull away he placed his free hand on the back of your mouth, pushing him even closer against him. You smiled into the kiss, lips tugging up as he pulled away, starting a slow trail along your jaw.

“I love you” He whispered against the skin of your neck. You felt your whole body tense at the words, his hands freezing their path along your waist. no.no.no.no

“Eris. You can’t mean that.” Your voice was desperate. Begging him to take it back. 

“Why can’t I? I'll be high lord someday. We won't have to hide from my father then.” 

“You only just met me.”

”And in all of my long life I have never felt this way about anyone.”

The mother had to be playing some kind joke. In any different lifetime, in any different world this would be the greatest thing you’ve ever heard. In a different life you would have shouted the words back, wrapped your arms around his neck and loved him without abandon. But this was not another world and the mother had always been cruel. You pulled away despite every nerve telling you to pull him closer. 

“ You can’t because I don’t love you. Eris,” The words felt so wrong, you focused on anything but the way his face dropped. “How could I ever love you? I would be stuck in this awful court forever.” You tried to make the words sound sincere, prayed he wouldn’ pry and push because you couldn’t say them again. Your heart couldn’t take it.

”I’ll change it. I would change it all for you. Please. You can’t mean this.” Tears lined his gorgeous eyes, cheeks already reddening. You could only shake your head. You pried yourself out of his grip, putting distance between the two of you. 

“I thought I could do this. But I..I can’t. I’m so sorry.” 

The cold air that had just been refreshing seemed to be tormenting you as it bit at the skin of your cheeks,stinging the wet skin. You pushed into the palace and didn’t pause as you opened the hidden door, slinking in the dark hallway until you were at the entrance right outside of your room before collapsing into your bed. 

-------

“Find someone else.” You slammed your palms down onto the wood of Beron’s desk. The glass figure on his desk wombling slightly at the force. 

“I don’t think I remember asking for your opinion.” He rose from his chair, his guards hands went to rest on the swords by their sides. 

“He isn’t going to tell me anything anymore.”

“And how, pray tell, did you manage to mess up that badly.” He snarled out at you. 

“He said he loved me. I, of course, said I didn’t. No way in hell he tells me anything anymore. So find someone else if you want information that badly.”

“I gave the job to you.”

“And I’m telling you I don’t want it.”

“You believe you have a choice in all of this. Do I need to remind you that I own you, you wokr for me. And you certainly do not get to tell me what you will and won’t do. So I will remind you of my request from when you started. Do what you have to.” 

Metallic blood filled your mouth as you bite your tongue to hold back the curses you wanted to spew  at the High Lord in front of you. Scream at the world for putting you into this position in the first place. But instead, you merely gave Beron a deep mocking bow and turned to walk out of his office. 

You had the plan hatched before you had even arrived back to your room. It was simple. Something Eris had joked about in passing. Beron was never going to let you go, so you would have to leave. Before you did, you would need to see eris one last time. Explain to him what had really been going on the whole time. And hope it would only take a kiss this time for him to forgive you. 

The door to his room was slightly open which was unusual for him. It was closed whether he was in it or not. Dread filled your stomach as you pushed open the door. The smell of burnt fabric quickly filled your nose, the rug on the floor burnt and melted at the edges. There had been a struggle. The perfectly organized table besides Eris’ bed had been overturned, books strewn across the floor. The glass rose you had given him lay shattered beside them. 

Picking up the edges of your skirt, you sprinted down the hallways, running so fast your lungs hurt with each stride but you had to get to him. 

You barreled through the doors of the throne room and were greeted with Beron casual sprawled out on the blood red chair. 

“Ah you decided to join us. Clever little fox.” Beron’s slow claps filled the air as you walked closer. 

Kneeling on the ground with guards surrounding him, was Eris. He struggled against the guards, heavy blue tinted manacles hung from his wrists. 

Eris opened his mouth to speak as his father raised a hand to him.

“I would consider your next moves very carefully.” Beron’s voice was like ice. the words crept over your skin, horror rising in you as he raised a hand to you. 

“Maybe you don’t have enough motivation.” Every single step you took echoed around the throne room. “I believe the two of you have met before. But allow me to do the proper introductions. (Y/n) is one of my newest spies.”

Eris struggled against the chains on his wrists. Eyes flickering up to you, honing in on the possessive hand his father had laid on your shoulder. 

“You’re lying.” He spit out at his father. 

Beron’s cruel laughter rang through the room. “Why don’t you ask her? But it's a shame, really, she won’t tell me anything… I wonder if she just needs some motivation.”  

That was when you saw it, one of Beron’s guard standing, a wreath of flames around his hand. “No. Please.” You felt a slap land on your face. 

“Then talk.”

“He didn’t tell me anything. I swear.”

“Such a shame.” Beron nodded at his guard. The man didn’t hesitate to rip the back of Eris’ shirt. 

“Stop.” But your screams of protest were blocked out by the sound of flesh sizzling. Eris ‘ body went tense, the muscles in his face contorting. He didn’t release a single sound as the guard repeated the action. You went to move but someone was already there, pinning your arms to your side. You were forced to watch him place his hand over and over again onto eris’ back. 

“Please. It’s me that failed, don’t punish him fo-”

“You think I’m doing this because of you?” Beron shouted down at you, rising from his throne. “My son is hiding things from me, that’s why I’m doing this. I could give a shit about your or his attraction.” 

Beron took a step, grabbing your chin with his hand. A motion that had you baring your teeth at him. 

“I think it goes without saying that you no longer have a position in my court. I’ll grant you the courtesy of an hour's head start.” He turned to his men, who were already looking at you with feral grins, “Then the hunting begins.” He shoved your face away from him, his guards releasing their hold on your arms. They screamed in pain but as you looked at eris, panting and half conscious on the ground, you didn’t feel the pain. Only the rippling anger as you looked at the male you had grown to love in a very short amount of time. 

Beron and his men filed out of the throne room, not sparing another glance at you or Eris. Leaving the heir of autumn to struggle to remove the chains himself. You moved with ease, catching him right when his feet slipped out from under him. He recoiled from your touch like it had burned worse than the guard.

You caught a glimpse at his back and tried to fight back the burning tears. You managed to unlatch the cuffs, letting them fall to the ground with an echoing clatter. You pushed them away with your feet, keeping your eyes trained on Eris’ back. The skin red and leaking, you could feel the heat coming off in waves as you tried to lift him to his feet. When you couldn’t you helped him onto his front, cradling his head, running your fingers through his hair. 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t supposed to love me, and I wasn’t supposed to love you.” You spoke into his hair, bent down with your face pressed against the side of his neck.

“How could I not?” His voice was hoarse and quiet. You let out a soft laugh, tears sliding down your cheeks. 

“I’ll kill him for this.” You said, pulling Eris’ head into your lap. Leaning down, you placed a kiss on Eris' forehead and started planning how you were going to make Beron pay for what he did to Eris. 

Your mind was racing with ideas of how to make him pay for every shred of pain that he had made his sons feel, for the terror he reigned on his court. And found a small smile tugging at the edges of your lips as you thought of how much you would enjoy it.

[amorgansgal]

Such Sweet Sorrow

So here is part 3 to my Fat Female Reader x Gale fic! This is a follow up to A Bitter Pill to Swallow and Practice Makes Perfect. This idea was suggested by @viluftic so thank you very much for that! Is everyone ready to suffer?

Gale drummed his fingers on the desk, he was thinking, thinking very hard. The whole thing was a rather difficult conundrum. He rolled the smooth part of the quill he was holding back and forth between his fingers. ‘Come on, Gale,’ he thought to himself. ‘Think, think, think!’

“If you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to bite your fingers off!” Tara muttered from the other chair she had taken a seat in.

“Sorry,” Gale said, dropping the pen on the desk and leaning forward. “I just need to figure out what I should do next.”

“Is this concerning your conjuration work or a certain Miss Y/N?”

“Yes, it concerns her. I want to prove I’m worthy of her, that I won’t look at anyone else but her and she has nothing to worry about, I will devote myself to her entirely.”

“Hmm,” Tara said, rather scathingly he thought, as though he was in the habit of devoting himself to others entirely and that didn’t go well for him. “I don’t see why you’re so obsessed with the lady, if she has turned down your advances.”

“I just… she is… well… it’s complicated,” he said and the tressym gave a rather snooty sniff in response. “She’s lovely and kind and I like her.”

“Though certainly not the best in her class at most magic. Surely you should find someone who can match your ability?”

“No!” he cried, though raised his hands in appeasement when Tara gave him a stern look at his outcry. “I think she’s perfectly well gifted at magic, she wouldn’t be here otherwise. And besides, I’m not just going to look for someone who can match me perfectly. Otherwise I might as well court my simulacrum and I think that would be a bit odd even for me! I like her more than just the magic she can do.” 

“Well, my kind still believe that bringing some form of vanquished foe is the highest compliment one can bestow-” Tara said.

“I don’t think bringing her a dead pigeon or mouse is probably going to impress her much, it might have the opposite effect!”

Tara scowled, at least he thought she did. “I didn’t mean something like that! But perhaps she has some foe - a beast or hag or villain - in her life that you could vanquish, then bring her the head as proof.”

“Hmm, much as I appreciate the suggestion Tara, I’m not sure if bringing her a butchered head would go down well! I’m going to have a look in the library for ideas.”

Tara hopped up onto his bed, stretched out luxuriously and then settled down for a nap while he was gone. Gale gave her head a little scritch, which even though she let out a small yowl of contempt he could tell she still enjoyed it, and then he dashed out his room and down the corridor. There was no time to waste and he had already spent most of his day off pacing back and forth, going through all the usual romantic notions that would work. Flowers - bit cliche and predictable, plus probably not nearly enough of a gesture to convince you. Some item of jewellery or nice clothes or a magical item for a gift - it could work, but it felt a little transactional. Gale didn’t exactly want to buy your affection. A display of magic - While it might have impressed someone who was unfamiliar with the weave, you knew it very well and doubtless had created your own visions and wonders, so while he was sure you’d be polite about it, it likely wouldn’t impress you much! 

Perhaps he could find every book on romance and love in the library and peruse them all. There must be some story about an adventurer or paladin knight or some such person with a lady love who did not necessarily wish to be with him at first, but he had won her over with his valour and deeds and so on and so forth. He almost skid past the librarian’s desk who barely raised her eyes as he did, all too used to students dashing in and hunting around for a book when they had an assignment to complete. But Gale stopped by the desk and slammed his hands on it.

“I need every book on romance and love under the sun!” he said.

The librarian, a halfling with her grey hair neatly scraped back in a small bun, gave him a withering look. “Well a good many books in this hall deal with matters of the heart, Master Dekarios. It would take most of the day to find every single one.”

“Well… can you point me in the right direction at least!”

“I suppose the second aisle would be your best bet, it concerns courtly romances, most of them are fictional of course. Is this for a project, Master Dekarios?”

“Of sorts,” he said, already eager to head over to the second aisle and see if anything was of use.

“Why on earth are you wanting books on romance and love?” a voice behind him said and he whirled around to see Nira there, a few books tucked under her arm. Gale beamed. Ah! This was a bit of luck. Nira was your friend, a very good close friend to you. She would doubtless know exactly what was needed to persuade you. 

“Never mind!” he said to the librarian. “Thank you for your help!” He grabbed Nira’s free arm and practically dragged her from the library while she squawked and demanded to know where they were going. Once they were outside, away from prying ears and eyes, he released her. 

“What on earth has gotten into you?” Nira said.

“Your friend, Y/N.”

“What about her?” Nira asked, brow raised in suspicion.

“I… Well… I really, really like her and I said I would like to do more with her than… well just be someone she can call upon to see to her needs, that I wanted to be with her entirely and not see anyone else…”

“Wait, wait, wait, slow down. Am I understanding that you wanted to court Y/N?”

“Yes.”

“She didn’t tell me that!” Nira looked outraged.

“She said no that she didn’t want me to woo her at this time...”

“Oh… well I guess that just sucks for you then.”

“No, she said she’d think about it. That she’d think on me courting her.”

“Well then there’s your answer Gale, I still don’t see why I needed to be dragged out here…”

“Because I like her, so much, and I don’t want to wait around forever. What if someone else sweeps her off her feet?”

“Again, sucks to be you.”

“But you’re her friend, you could tell me what she likes, what would make a good impression, what declaration I could do-”

“Look, if you like her so much then you should already know what she likes and if you’re serious then stop having other girls come up to your room to enjoy your tongue. Otherwise, I don’t think there’s much you could do other than be respectful, polite and wait for her answer.”

“But I can’t just leave it to-”

“Gale,” Nira rounded on him, her brow furrowed with fury and her eyes glaring at him. “Look, the more you respect her wishes and back off a little, the more likely she is to consider you as a lover. But calm down, stop being so needy and wait for her to come to you! Gods above!” And with that she marched off down the corridor.

“At least put in a good word for me!” he called after her.

It was a strange few weeks for you, Gale had certainly been treating you differently. You felt his eyes upon you when you were in class, which made you feel flustered and distracted. But at least you could hide away in your room when you were working on essays or assignments, until the gifts started showing up. Little boxes of sweetmeats, an admittedly beautiful purple scarf with strands of silver running through it, an absurdly large bouquet of flowers with pink roses, frothy white queen anne’s lace and fuchsia carnations. 

And that was when others started to notice. Oh you’d had the occasional cruel comment, but you’d mostly gone ignored. Now though the whole school had picked up on you being the object of Gale’s desire and devotion, especially as apparently he’d stopped accepting the other girls’ invitations or offering himself to them. It had not made you popular!

“I don’t get it,” you once heard Lucia say as you were busy searching a bookshelf in the library for a particular book on selunite magic. “Why her? She’s so fat and dumpy and dull, and she barely says anything in class. I don’t get why Gale is so obsessed with her. Did you see the flowers he sent to her?”

You froze on the spot and felt your heart beating loudly in your chest, your hand was still holding a book as you both longed to run away from Lucia’s unkind words and yet could not compel your feet to move.

“I know. I heard it only happened when he ate her out. I’m surprised he even managed to find her pussy!” another girl whispered and the girls stifled their laughter in the quiet library. 

“I know, how did he get through all the gross folds to reach it!”

“Eww, stop it! I don’t want to think about that!” Lucia shrieked. 

Your hand trembled and you quietly pushed the book back on the shelf. You debated about trying to leave quietly, but then before you could even move one foot in front of the other, the girls had already rounded the shelves and came to a halt on seeing you. Some of them had the decency to look embarrassed, others giggled again, Lucia wrinkled up her nose.

“Oh look who it is! Maybe we can find the answers from the horse’s mouth. Or should that be pig’s?”

You quickly pulled the selunite book back from the shelf, determined to not let her pathetic bullying get under your skin. “If you don’t mind Lucia, I have work to be getting on with.”

“Oh we’ll leave you be, but first please explain why Gale Dekarios is so obsessed with you?”

You swallowed uncomfortably. Gods, you didn’t know why! It didn’t make much sense to you given you had told him you needed time to think it over and you weren’t sure about it. But now everyone at the academy had assumed you were a thing because of all the gifts! 

“I don’t know… you’d have to ask Gale.”

Her smile put you in mind of a harpy who had lured in its prey. “Like it doesn’t make any sense to me. We were wondering if he’s just joking, just messing with you or something. I think his friends would find it funny.”

Her clever little arrow found its target. You were sure he wouldn’t do something like that, would he? Was he and his friends laughing before they went to bed? Hysterical at the idea he was sending you all these little gifts and poems because it would be funny for you to think anyone would find you desirable. You remembered years ago when a group of boys had dared another kid to ask you out and how much they had laughed at your innocent, hopeful smile and how awful you felt, how you’d hidden yourself away to cry and how you had to pretend that it hadn’t hurt, that you could brush off a cruel joke like that. 

But Gale… could Gale do something like that? You remembered the way he was so sweet and gentle when he first kissed you, how Nira told you he’d never done that with anyone else, how much he looked at you with outright burning desire and surely he could not pretend to do that! How he had kissed you passionately when you saw him again, how he said he wanted you. A little whisper of desire danced through your blood and you could almost imagine his hands on you again, his lips on your throat… You shook your head, Gale was kind and good. He would never willingly hurt someone as a joke.

“Gale’s not like that,” you insisted. “He’d never do something so cruel.”

“Mm-hm,” Lucia said, it was playful, but her tone was still sharp, still malicious and she gave you a patronising little smirk. “Well if you think so!”

It was a culmination of things. A culmination of teasing and pointed remarks from people like Lucia, whispered comments and rumours from other classmates, Nira getting fed up of being hounded by Gale for advice and just everything felt overwhelming. The gifts had thankfully stopped after a very firm talking to from Nira, but you felt terrible for rejecting them and rejecting Gale.

“He’s a big boy,” Nira had said while she read Waterdeep’s local newspaper and lounged on your bed, while you tried to work at your desk. “He’ll get over it. I’m sure he’ll fuck someone else to heal his wounded heart!”

The idea that he might fuck someone else didn’t make you feel any better though. It felt like a jagged piece of ice had splintered your heart in two. You had considered it beforehand, but now your mind was made up and so you nervously stood outside Gale’s room, dreading the thought of knocking but also not wanting to leave without saying goodbye properly. You quickly knocked on the door and prayed to all the gods that he wasn’t in.

But the door was yanked open before you could even draw in your next breath and Gale stood there, his smile widening excitedly when he saw you. “Y/N! You’re here. I never thought… come in, come in!”

You stayed where you were though and saw the slightest flicker of disappointment in his soft brown eyes. Gods, that killed you. You looked away so you could get through what you had to say next.

“Um… Gale… I’m joining Professor Yinpeiros on their expedition to Neverwinter. I thought you should know rather than find out through someone else…” you tailed off when you caught a glimpse of how utterly disappointed he looked. You pressed your lips tightly together. “I’m really sorry, I do like you. I just…”

“If you like me, why are you leaving?” he asked, his voice breaking at the end of his question and you felt terrible.

“Because… this has all been so overwhelming. Your gifts, the attention everyone has given me, some people have been… cruel.”

“Who?” his voice darkened and you glanced up at him, seeing the anger blazing hot in his eyes and you were caught between flattery that he would be enraged if someone was nasty to you and a little bit fearful as to what he might do to them.

“It doesn’t matter. The point is, I’m going, for a year or two. So I wanted to do the decent thing and say goodbye.”

Gale’s face fell and he leaned heavily on the doorframe, his fist clenched tightly against the wood. “So I fucked up.”

“You didn’t fuck up, the gifts were beautiful, it just felt a bit… much to be given a lot of attention, both good and bad. I know you meant well.”

He inhaled deeply, then managed to look up and give you a grim smile. “Nira was right then, I should’ve just let you be and let you make your own decision on the matter. I’m sorry. I just… I care about you so much, I desire you so much, I lo-”

You pressed your fingers against his lips, stopping him from speaking. “Please don’t do that, don’t say that. You don’t Gale, not really.”

He opened his mouth, eyes bright with outrage and looking like he might argue with you, but instead he let out a sigh and carefully removed your hand from his lips. “I know what I feel, Y/N, but I won’t burden you with it anymore. I’m sorry. Would you… would you gift me with something before you go?”

You frown, puzzled by what he could have in mind. You don’t have much you can give him. Maybe a potted plant, but you had already promised them to Nira. “What is it?”

“Can I kiss you one last time?”

You hesitate. You should say no. Nira told you to make this quick and painless and easy. But it doesn’t feel like any of those things. Your heart feels like it has already shattered and you’re barely holding onto the pieces. “Yes,” you finally said.

He let go of the doorframe and gently cupped your face in his warm hands, his thumbs stroked your cheeks, his eyes watched you intently as though memorising every detail of your face. “You really are so beautiful,” he said, before he lowered his head and pressed a kiss to your lips. You closed your eyes, your hand met his on your face, and you felt his other one easily move down your back, curl around your waist and he brought you closer to him. 

Nira no doubt would be shaking her head in exasperation and giving you a withering look, and it would be all too easy to blame Gale for his tight hold on you, for his tongue slipping into your mouth, for the way his hands stroked down your back to your waist and hips and teasingly close to your butt but never actually land there, but you are breathing the same air and tasting his mouth too and have wrapped your arms around his shoulders, enjoying how surprisingly broad he is. It’s not a short, simple, sweet kiss goodbye. It’s a kiss lovers give to one another when they have all the time in the world and have the ability to crash into the bedroom, to tumble into bed and take pleasure in one another’s body.

When you break apart, he doesn’t let go. His arms are still wrapped around your waist, his forehead is pressed against yours, his eyes are closed, his lips parted, his cheeks flushed. He finally blinked open his eyes and smiled at you, a proper, soft, intimate smile that sends your heart racing and makes you want to stay.

“Would you…?” he stopped himself. “I want to ask you to come to my bed.”

You untangled yourself from him and pulled back. “No, Gale.” You took another step back. “But I will see you again, I’m sure. Goodbye, Gale.”

You turned around so he can’t see your eyes filled with tears and you hurried down the corridor, not wanting to linger and hear his own goodbye.

[aceof-stars]

Manfred von Karma!

Thank you for the ask <3 (to every else who sent me a character ask, I'm working on it :)

First impression

I actually never hated him or had strong feelings about him. I was introduced to AA through narumitsu fanfic but I knew I wanted to play the games so I avoided everything with spoilers, including everything Manfred. I guess I just thought of him vaguely as a villain and Miles' mentor/father figure.

Impression now

He's one of my favorite Ace Attorney characters. I have him at 4th but honestly, maybe he's 3rd now?? I have developed an attachment to this ridiculous evil man. I love him so much. I wish there was more canon content of him, but I think he's an interesting character with a lot of room for nuance.

Favorite moment

He doesn't really have many canon moments (and I haven't played AAI). But probably when he gloated Phoenix into cross-examining Polly the parrot and it's implied that he witness-coached a parrot. Manfred, you are an insane person.

Idea for a story

I just want to see a story where Manfred is force-fed a redemption arc. Like for example a no DL-6 AU where Gregory manages to get a Manfred properly investigated for forging evidence. But to ensure he doesn't get another penalty, Manfred tries to frame another prosecutor to throw Gregory off his trail.

Only, Manfred finds out that the person he is framing is actually guilty of forging evidence. Manfred has to follow through with his plan and gets dragged into working with Gregory. Gregory is surprised but grateful that Manfred has been so helpful in weeding out corruption in the prosecutor's office, and wants to befriend/ally with Manfred. Manfred is seething with hatred. (Oh and eventual Shingou :)

Unpopular opinion

Manfred as a character deserves a lot more nuance. There's... a lot to talk about but these are the three main things I have a strong opinion on:

1) He was a flawed parent and I think it's more interesting to explore those flaws than to just label him abusive for the sake of villainizing him.

2) It does not makes sense for Manfred to be sexist/homophobic/etc. Simply because I don't think he cares enough to hate a group of people like that. He is very rational, efficient, and his perfectionism is focused on his prosecuting career. If anything, he discriminates against defense attorneys (lmao).

3) Manfred didn't brainwash or force Miles into becoming a prosecutor. I'm sure Manfred was influential but Miles had his own reason to be a prosecutor that stemmed from DL-6. Miles was also always a perfectionist (the paper cranes thing) and the von Karma family brand of perfectionism just amplified it.

Favorite relationship

Shingou!! <3 (Gregory Edgeworth/Manfred von Karma)

Defense attorney/prosecutor ship, toxic enemies to lovers, doomed romance, or super slowburn (if no DL-6 AU), bitter courtroom rivals turned bickering old married couple (who still duke it out in court), co-parenting Miles and Franziska (before officially getting together).

Favorite headcanon

Manfred did love Franziska and Miles (in his own way). Regarding Miles, Manfred saw him as a symbol of his failures (the penalty Gregory gave him and the shot in his shoulder). So Manfred struggled a lot when he began to actually care about Miles. When Miles's perfect record was broken, Manfred saw it as a threat to his own perfection. (I hope that makes sense. I do need to think about this more to solidify the headcanon. I just love complicated von Karma family dynamics)

[randomwritingdrabbles]

The way murther would have a completely different dynamic if they were genderbent, like omg.

Twas reading some Merlin fics and came across Murther as you often do in the merlin ao3 fandom and it occurred to me that while I'm kinda meh for canon typical Murther (I like Lance or Gwaine with him more and also Arthur having to be like "So this is my wife, the queen. And this is my soulmate, the court sorcerer... It's complicated, don't ask.") Genderbent Murther would be genuinely feral.

Here me out, Arthur doesn't want to be a knight as a goal, he wanted to be a good prince and being a knight was part of that. So it goes to imply that female Arthur wouldn't be some burly knight or do a Morgana type 'imma learn to fight anyway bitch' thing, fem!Arthur would do her best to be the best princess she could be.

Where Arthur is a fantastic fighter, f!Arthur would be impeccable at playing the political field and reading people. F!Arthur would be the perfect princess and would fucking know it, she would still be arrogant but instead of bullying the stablehands with knife throwing it would be a backhanded compliment about someone's outdated clothing styles. Princess Arthur would be a completely different character.

Merlin however is from the boonies, peasant women can't afford not to work so female Merlin would have been raised very similar to the boys and likely the only change in character she would have would be a much higher likelihood of knowing genuine self defence.

No one is sending a young unmarried woman off to the capital on her own, she would have been taught at least enough to stab a man where it hurts, if not kill him outright.

Imagine the dynamic with this flip in the personalities though!!!

Perfect princess Arthur being saved by this random peasant girl weilding a knife and the fucking audacity. Just the dynamic of the definitely not scheeming princess and her definitely not a terrifying assasin maidservant.

I honestly think they'd get together in like five minutes flat. Arthur not wanting to have her agency taken by a man meets hella cute and also sexily violent Merlin? She'd climb that peasant girl after the first thwarted assassination attempt.

Especially given that lesbians weren't really seen as a thing back then or if they were, were considered 'training' for their 'real' relationships, so people legit would either not notice or just wouldn't give a shit.

Arthur wouldn't be able to be blatant so she would 100% train her maidservant into the perfect spymaster/assasin and unleash her on her political enemies. Merlin thought the princess was a prat for all of five minutes until said prat gave her bedroom eyes and then 'thanked' her for saving her life... Merlin now has a hot gf, a weird dragon friend, and is getting advanced stabbing lessons... she is a fulfilled bitch.

(Arthur takes the throne because she actively ousts Uther. He tried to marry her off and she already had a shakey relationship with him cus he doesn't know how to raise girls. He is now 'taking a medical vacation' and Arthur rules as queen. Magic is legalised cus merlin legit could not last a full week without this observant version of Arthur noticing the magic.)

[elitesheepi]

There's a very specific flavor of MaiZula that's both underutilized, but so good.

Post-canon Azula is imprisoned. Well not in a cell like Ozai, but in a mental health sanctuary near Ember Island. It's quiet, it's far away from the abyss of trauma and bad memories that's the the Fire Nation palace. If Zuko is asked why he sent her there and not sent rotting in a darkest corners like their father, Zuko will just reply, "she's still my sister. It's a complicated." The other unsaid answer, is that it was a favor from a close ex-friend. Or rather, ex-girlfriend.

Mai was right when she said she loved Zuko more than she feared Azula, but that didn't mean she didn't have any love for the former Princess. Despite it all, she did enjoy her time with her. Not running all of the world for some bald monk and his posse, but Azula plucking her from a life of boredom and discontent in Omashu was exactly the thing she needed the most. The rare moments when Azula dropped high and might perfectionist princess act (which were very few) and acted like the immature teen Mai knew her to truly be--it was nice. Made her remember why she stuck around for so long after they met in the Academy.

She didn't enjoy betraying Azula, but it had to be done.

Ty Lee was her friend, but Azula was something else. She's never said it out loud but she admired how driven and intense she was about this mission. Mai almost wished she could be as emotional in that way. Well almost. Then again if she was more emotional, perhaps her and Zuko would be together as opposed to him and the little waterbender girl...

Meh she doesn't care enough to think about that too much.

She does care though, to think about Azula. And she does, a lot. In Boiling Rock, she thought about how much she hated Azula. She thought about how Azula was losing that control, that perfect perfection. She was slipping, and everyone could see it in the way her jaw clicked, the subtle twitching of her eyes everytime someone spoke out of turn.

Then, she thought about how much she pitied Azula, and how much she hated seeing her former best friend rotting in a jail cell like she was the bottom echelon scum of society. Maybe she deserved, maybe her and Ty Lee deserve it too for being her accomplices for everything--chasing the avatar, her family's conquering of Omashu, the Fall of Ba Sing Se--but that's not what happened now is it?

Ty Lee is off playing dress up with the Kyoshi Warriors, and she's wandering the palace playing Upper Court nobility like she was born and bred to do.

And yet...Is it guilt? Is this hollow feeling in her chest guilt knowing she's returned to luxury even after everything she's done? Guilt for the people? Eh, debateable. Guilt towards Azula--Ah, yeah. That's it.

Mai doesn't like how guilt feels. She never thought she could feel it.

Still, pity and guilt are such ugly feelings to feel. Terrible emotions that ruin her day. How can Zuko stomach it? How could he have wanted her feel emotions like this. "I like when you're angry," ugh. (He better be happy with Ms. Uptight and Angry, it's what he asked for.)

"There's a place called the Chamomile. I want Azula sent there."

"It's for helping people," she continues before Zuko can say a word, "Apparently it's not far from Ember Island, so getting her there won't be too much of hassle."

His jaw clicks in the same way Azula's does. She wonders if they ever noticed that? "Why should I?"

Why should I forgive her? Why shouldn't I leave her imprisoned like our f--Like Ozai.

He doesn't neeed to say it. He's as easy to read since they day they met. (You couldn't read that he was unhappy. Nor could you read the note he left behind.)

Her tone is bored, her face is flat, and she's the steely nobleman her mother expected her to be. "Because, then she'll be my problem. And as far away from you as possible."

It takes 5 days before he tells her his decision. It takes 5 weeks to get accommodations in order for her transport. It takes 5 months before Azula is willing to see her.

It takes 5 years before Azula is willing to return her hug again like she used too.

Azula never thanks her. Mai would be a fool and a liar if she expected her too. But, she shows her "thanks" in small ways. She leaves a bowl of cherries behind with 3 left in it. Azula actually responds to her now, instead of glaring the whole time. How kind, the people's princess.

Mai's just happy to see the color return to her cheeks and the vicious-yet-dulled barbs return. Azula's bangs have finally grown again to a acceptable length after that awful cut job she did. Her golden eyes have become daggers matching her favorite one, but now fully sheathed. Well, most sheathed.

This is still Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. She's still dangerous, she still's a threat, but just apathetic to it all. Just like Mai. In this moment, as they sit close together in the bay window overlooking the ocean, they're truly one in the same. Two high-ranking ladies of the Fire Nation, dulled and snipped of who they once where. Ty Lee doesn't care--she got her ironic happy ending of blending in when she wanted to stand out in the first place--but the two of them. They're just two apathetic women in a world moving on without them.

Mai's good at playing a role of going along with it. And she'll drag Azula with her if she has too. She's not facing this world alone.

Plus, Azula owes her for making her care so much about someone. She'll never get a thanks, but she deserves some kind of compensation for having her apathetic streak ruined by Azula.

Guilt, pity, adoration, affection--Ugh.

Emotions suck. Azula sucks for making her feel like this.

And maybe she sucks for kissing her and not pulling away when Azula kisses back.

[trlvsn]

something else i love about wrightworth is that they're not exactly the kind of "iconic partners in crime" duo who read each other's thoughts and act in perfect sync. they do fall into an energetically harmonious dynamic of sorts, but their roles, behaviors and thoughts remain entirely different, and that can never change, otherwise their relationship will have no point to it. they don't copy each other's moves: they are dancing a complicated dance and the roles have to be different for it to work. they are entirely separate beings that join forces for the result of a fair verdict, they combine rivalry and partnership fully understanding what they're doing, they work for the same result and believe in the same thing but they also try to achieve completely different results and have opposing ideas on how a case will go and who is guilty. god i wish gay people could be lawyers irl but alas ...

oh, and coming back to my first sentence, their understanding of what the other is thinking is. so weirdly circumstancial. like in court wright can be like "ha i know exactly what you're getting at but i have the evidence to disprove it before you even say anything" and when they're far from each other edgeworth can go "wow he is rubbing off on me why am i using his courtroom tactics" and they also had matching nightmares at a point in time but. when it gets 1% emotional or intimate they're the dumbest people alive and would explode if they tried to communicate properly. proving my point: unnecessary feelings line, turnabout goodbyes earthquake situation, bridge to the turnabout hug situation, the last jfa case in it's entirety being a mutual misunderstanding, literally any other moment because GOD they are awkward

[mslanna]

Raphael is Tav's warlock patron and he is infatuated with them (though he probably wouldn't/hasn't admit it, not even to himself) and now he sees Tav leading a group of tadpoled misfits who are all fawning over his dear warlock. 👀 What is his reaction?

Well, here goes. Warlock? What warlock? (I am not the writer for warlock stories. Sorry. 😅 Here's hoping you enjoy anyways. It's My Party on AO3

Of course, Tav deserves the celebration. They saved the grove and made a dent in the goblin population. Raphael watched the spectacle with more engagement that behoved a devil of his state. But he can be lenient with himself. After all, Tav will be the means to his rise to archdevil supreme, ruler of all nine hells. A little – investment won't hurt.

As celebrations go, the party in the camp is – rustic to say the last. Food abounds and so does drink, though neither is up to Raphael's refined palate. A pity. But then, nobody expected him to attend, himself least of all.

Korrilla reported as he asked and while her news was heartening – Tav enjoyed themself, no immediate danger threatened the camp, the overall goal is not in jeopardy – some of the news were not to the devil's liking at all. He adjusted the red sash of his outfit once more.

It is just a courtesy visit. An occasion to congratulate Tav on their achievements while needling them about their lack of progress with their tadpole problem. To remind them of their best option, which is him. Naturally.

It has nothing at all to do with the tadpoled fools who Tav amassed falling over themselves to court his little mouse. Nothing whatsoever. Raphael brushes invisible dust from his doublet. It is none of his business who Tav spends their time with. Still, it coan't hurt to keep an eye on their company.

Tav might be influenced by their companions. Not all of them are approving of his offer or even devils in general. Korilla will find out who the worst offenders are for him, but Raphael trusts his own assessment more. Making sure he knows who might work against him – the devil takes a deep breath.

Enough gallivanting. Time to make an entrance.

Raphael appears at the perfect distance to camp for sauntering over. After the first step, he has to realise there is nothing saunter to, though. The party wound down as anticipated but Tav is engaged in a most unhinged dance, limbs flying wild, eyes closed and mouth agape with laughter.

He stops in the shadows and watches. Just to find the perfect moment to make his entrance, of course. Not because there is anything to see worth watching. The small knot that forms in his stomach is purely annoyance at having to rely on such a reckless mortal. And of course it tightens when the burning Tiefling catches Tav. What if she missed? This is dangerous!

Tav doesn't care. They are careless at ever. Maybe a good thing considering what they are up against. The Chosen of the Dead Three. Worry furrows Raphael's brow. Such formidable opponents for one little mouse and their rabble. A pity he cannot yet intervene directly. He has to reel them in slowly.

Still laughing, Tav detaches from the tiefling and makes their unsteady way towards their tent. It is the last chance Raphael will get this evening. Yet he hesitates, acutely aware of his formidable frock and unfortunate position. A painful emotion surges through him.

How dare they make all his preparations vain? Tav turned his gracious visit into a futile fumble without even noticing. Such insolence cannot go unpunished. If this is how Tav wants him to lay hands on them, they can get it. Raphael balls his hand into a fist, strung up and ready to pounce.

Some noise must have startled Tav because their gaze suddenly falls his way. It hitches, moves on and returns. Their eyes go wide for a moment before their face scrunches up in thought.

"Raphael?" The vowels of his name wobble in their mouth. "What are you doing here?"

The answer to that as simple and so very complicated. Raphael sticks to his script. "To congratulate you to your victory, of course. And-"

"That's really nice of you." Tav brightens, cheeks red from alcohol and dancing. "Should've come sooner. Party's over now. Shame. Karlach said I must go to bed. Or else."

Raphael wonders what the 'or else' has been to make Tav leave laughing and still unhappy. A pointed conversation with the tiefling is in order. Later. "I don't think your little – bash had anything to offer I am sad to miss."

Tav's face falls. "Was a good party." Their lip wobbles. "Fun. Should've come sooner."

"Whatever for?" Raphael asks. The sopping wet mortal makes him uneasy which is not acceptable. He is the one unsettling others. Tav may just be too inebriated to remember it. "You have seen the feast in my House of Hope. How does your party compare?"

Tav's shoulder slump and their whole posture goes limp. All joie de vivre drains from them in a quick second.

Triumph doesn't materialise. Raphael feels, quite the opposite as he looks at the dejected mortal. Still he sticks to his script. "At least you have found help with your tadpole problem, yes? The reason you attacked the goblins in first case?"

The contrast to Tav, epitome of joy dancing but a few minutes before, to now, where they are the embodiment of misery cuts deep. For a moment the devil regrets having said anything. But how can he raise Tav from the depths of desperation if they are not suffering down there? A good justification, a truth to cling to.

"Maybe it's better you didn't come sooner," Tav murmurs almost inaudibly as they wrap their arms around themself. "Would've killed the party in a heartbeat. Likes nobody noone who gloats."

"My arrival now means that you can continue to party, should you so desire." Raphael extends a hand with an elegant gesture. "You seemed to want to when you were sent to bed."

Dark eyes settle on his face, they glitter in the moonlight, a mirror of the sad face they are set into. Tav gets the wobble of their lip under control and for a second, their eyes glance down at his hand. "What do you want, Raphael?"

The flat resignation in their tone hurts. Raphael retracts his hand unwilling to answer. He came to gloat, and it didn't make him happy. He missed the party which fills him with vague regret. He offered Tav to show them a better time. That they didn't jump at the opportunity makes him want to lash out in return.

"What I said," he replies. "And make sure you don't get lost on the way to your tent in your intoxicated state. A wonder you walk the way alone. I hear there were more than enough offers of company."

Tav has the pick of their companions for the night. And here they stand on their own. A part of him is elated about this development. Tav is alone! His little mouse. They should be happy to come along. They should-

"Oh." The sound drops from Tav's lips like a pebble into a still pool. They straighten and blink away some of their drunk confusion. "You're jealous."

Before Raphael can reject that idea with the intensity such insolence deserves, Tav takes his hand. They wind their arm trough his and intertwine their fingers before leaning heavily against his side. "Could've just said so. Show me that feast of yours, yes?"

They rub their red face on the fine fabric of his doublet that was not meant to take such abuse. Still, the smile returns to their face somewhat which is a small win. But the mortal is definitely in no shape to celebrate appropriately. If he had known they 'd accept – Raphael bites his lip.

He offered and he cannot take it back now. Not with the after-image of an utterly forlorn Tav imprinted on his mind. But in their state Tav wouldn't last ten minutes. They'd fall asleep with their face in their soup – If he was lucky.

Still, he lifts their clasped hands. There is something here he can work with. Jealousy – laughable. The relief that Tav is not interested in any of their companions stems purely from the worry they'd be distracted from their quest if they were. His little mouse has a long way to go yet.

Raphael smiles. A small pit stop at his House of Hope will only strengthen them, a token of the help they can expect once he offers his deal in earnest. He places his free hand over their intertwined fingers and leads his mortal away.

Once he returns his little mouse to camp, they will not have a thought left for their paltry companions. It is the least he can do.

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

Do you ever wonder if what Kevin wanted from Andrew was not so much protection as to learn how to protect people?

Because here is Kevin, this great tall strong thing, yet it seems to be his fate in life to fail to be there for those who need him. And being needed by someone binds you even closer than needing them. Riko needed him wretchedly despite being unable to acknowledge it; there was Jean begging for help, wanting more than Kevin could give; the Foxes are going through all kinds of crises and much worse pain than his, yet he can’t be there for them as he knows he should.

But then there’s Neil. Someone who wants help on the one front he is capable of delivering - his game. Imagine how much it must have meant to Kevin. And how much it upset him when Neil didn’t show up. Maybe the reason Kevin agreed to keep training his apparently doomed protege was just to get to the finals, but I think it was so there’d be at least one success story under his belt. At least one person he hadn’t let down.

(Also Kevin’s inability to face Jean strongly resembles Neil’s inability to face Allison after Seth died. Neil couldn’t meet her eyes but when he had even a small chance to do something he passed that sauce bottle to her so fast.)

Imagine how much Kevin wished he had Andrew’s talent for protectiveness when Neil returned from Evermore. Do you think the tentative offer to talk about it, and the grateful response, made Kevin feel a tiny step closer to the heroic defender he wanted to be?

I do. I think however much everyone else wanted to be Kevin Day, hero of exy, Kevin wanted to be Andrew, actual hero.

The wip artwork is me thinking about Kevin and survivor’s guilt and is based on my epiphany that Riko losing Kevin was Peter Pan losing Wendy. The reality that Riko was entirely to blame for everything doesn’t change the fact that it was Peter losing Wendy, and the loss is so deep all the hatred in the world can’t entirely silence its cry.

[kevinsdsy]

I know you ended the socmed au but if you have any Kevin and Shane hcs to share…

YES PLEASE I WOULD LOVE TO KEEP TALKING MY SHIT EVEN THO I’VE WRAPPED UP THE SOCMED AU HEHEHE and i was planning to do a headcanon post later so this is perfect 🙂‍↕️ (fair warning what’s red is nsfw ig)

before shane met kevin he literally had no idea whether he liked guys or not— he has never given sexuality much thought and was more of a ‘i see what happens, i like whoever i like who even cares’ kind of person

then he meets kevin day (and who isn’t in love with kevin fucking day) and he’s like oh. okay. i definitely like this guy.

he has his sexuality crisis for like twenty minutes and he’s like “do i really like kevin day? or is this just the kevin day effect everyone is talking about?” and then he’s like who even cares i need to make out with this guy and he immediately goes game on and just starts flirting.

at first kevin isn’t even sure what the deal is with shane. is he flirting? is he just a guy in sports? is he just being a trojan? and shane takes his oblivious act for like half a day and then is like “ok dude. i just figured out i apparently like guys and i would love to make out with you. and we only have a summer together before going back to our lives— so no time to waste. do you want this? yes or no? no pressure.” and kevin just gapes at him for a second before saying “what the fuck?” under his breath and then he decides oh whatever. they’re in paris and they end up making out 🙂‍↕️

and they keep making out. and if they’re not watching sports and they’re not with their friends, they’re most likely together.

they discuss A LOT of exy.

(sometimes they discuss exy while having sex/making out) ((i feel like kevin is insane enough to get off to that))

i have this headcanon that no one sleeps in their designated hotel rooms— so these guys wake up in each other’s rooms a lot of the time, but also they end up in god knows which room?? so people have definitely walked in on them (not during sex pls just a shirtless make out session) and everyone knows kevin day and shane reed are making out with each other this summer.

whenever anyone asks them about it they just shrug it off like: “we’re in paris.”

because at the end of the day it’s just going to be a summer fling.

they both end up back home, idek how many miles apart, but they’re not going to commit to an established relationship.

doesn’t stop them from texting. and making inappropriate jokes online. and having phone sex, but oh well.

we all have to go through our complicated situationships, do we not?

ntm when the foxes and trojans have to face each other again on court they’re being really professional about it and they’re competitive and all. until the last seconds of the game pass and they’re both stuck doing press and then when they’re finally done with press and exy— they find some time alone to “catch up”.

and with catch up i mean discussing their game in great detail while getting each other off.

and both of them return to their teams looking like hot messes and even though they’re behind closed doors both teams have an equal reaction to them entering and doing the walk of shame (except they’re both shameless)

“guess you had a chance to catch up with shane?” kevin just grunts while making his way towards the shower.

“kevin?” someone asks. and shane just proudly nods, while confirming “kevin 🙂‍↕️.” as he makes his way to the showers.

[redbleedingrose]

🧠 eris 😘😈

I cant believe it took me this long to write one for my main male <3333

Maybe I was saving the best male for last, as per usual, SFW stuff first

Eris is the perfect mate. And I mean the perfect mate. He is so attentive, caring, loving, adoring, just everything under the sun that he could do to make you smile, he will. 

I want to start off by saying, I don’t think that there could be any other trope besides best friends to lovers for Eris. It takes so much for him to trust anyone, and he was definitely a loner before he met you. 

You basically forced your way into his life and his heart. 

And oh my god, the pining that he had for you. I mean constant flirting that he thought surmounted to nothing, but secretly had your heart fluttering. 

He could talk to you for hours about any topic and would never get bored. You could be talking about the most mundane thing like shopping or laundry or something complicated like politics or socioeconomics, and the conversation would just be so lively. 

Eris loves your laugh. It is def one of his top favorite sounds that you make, and he is constantly whispering snarky remarks or sarcastic comments to get you to laugh. 

Constantly buying y’all matching clothes so you both are known as the best dressed couple in Prythain. 

He also gave you access to the Autumn Court jewels when you were only friends?? He basically just nonchalantly handed you the key one breakfast morning to the safe, and said, “Have at it babe” 

And you were just shook??? 

And obviously you didn’t take anything, so when the next ball happened and you came in without any autumn jewels, he was like, “What happened? You didn’t like it?” and you are like “No, no, no. Er, they were stunning, but shouldn’t you save this for your future mate?” 

And he kinda just shakes his head and grabs you by the hand and takes you back to the safe. And then he picks out the jewelry himself for you. 

And he adjusts you in front of a mirror, and then puts the necklace on you. And his warm hands brush against your neck making your arm hair stand up and he leans in to press a soft kiss at the juncture between your shoulder and neck. 

You both are silent as he reaches down and pulls up your left arm, gently locking in the emerald and diamond bracelet before pressing a gentle kiss on your wrist. 

When his amber eyes meet yours, you feel it. And he feels it. That golden thread that ties your hearts together becomes alive and alight with a fire that only belongs on Eris. 

Anyways, y’all don’t make it back to the party 

Now he loves buying you jewelry, and he especially loves when he gets to play a part in designing it and picking out the certain jewels that will be used. 

Other things that are small but so romantic, he will hold your hand always. His warm hands always enclose yours wherever you are, in whatever setting. He needs to feel your touch to feel settled, and if you aren’t around, it usually sets him off in the wrong mood. 

He also does this thing where he wants to make sure that you are never cold. Constantly blowing warm air into your cold palms, letting you slip your fingers into his jacket pocket, he is constantly taking his cloak off to wrap around you, constantly taking off his sweaters before bed so you can go to bed in nothing but his warm clothing. 

OMG can we talk about his hounds for a second?? 

These hounds are supposed to be deadly. They are supposed to be scary and barking at you and chasing after you. 

But they are the sweetest, omg they literally love you more than they love Eris. They are constantly fighting to rest their heads in your lap even though Eris’ is wide open. Eris likes to act exhasrabated and annoyed but you know deep down that he loves it. 

He also loves going horse back riding with you, and having you sit in front of him so he can cuddle you close and hold you. 

You guys also love to explore autumn together and have absolutely gone skinny dipping and have fucked in the forest. Y’all are wilding. 

He was gifted the Vanserra Family Library, and it is only supposed to be kept within the family. For your 10 year anniversary, this male gave you the keys just for you. He had it rennovated just for you. 

Eris loves kissing your palm and the back of your hand before smooching all the way up your arm and into your shoulder and neck. He loves the giggles and squirming it illicits. 

He loves feeding you. This male will literally hide spoons and forks just so he can use his to feed you. He gets this smug smile lilting his face, as he tilts his head and holds out his spoon for you.

He def has a secret stash of gourmet chocolates that he only lets you have access too 

He is very insecure about the scars that have been left on his body by his father. His back is practically littered with scars from the whips that Beron used to use on him. He only begins to like it because you are constantly running your fingers up and down his spine and tracing the scars and kissing them whenever you have access. 

He loves napping with you, especially outside on the balcony hammock. He loves to pull you down into his lap and tuck your head under his chin and just stroke your waist and hips and squeeze at the flesh before he falls asleep 

Eris gets cuteness aggression with your cheeks and is constantly sucking or chewing at them. Like you can’t even be mad at the hickeys he leaves all over your neck because there are straight up hickeys on your cheek from the male. 

Definetly takes you out to vacation all the time. He just adores spending time with you, so he is taking you to cabins that are deep within the forest or the cottage on the seaside or treehouses that are literal houses. 

He also takes you out on dates all the time. He loves supporting the small busniess of Autumn and anytime he hears of a new restaurant, he is taking you there and tips sooo much. 

Dancing. 

You guys have danced in the rain, in the moonlight, on the beach, in the forest, in your room or library or his office. He is wordlessly pulling you in to sway with him without any music. Sometimes, if you are lucky, he will hum some autumn hymns for you. 

Sitting by the fireplace and reading your books together in silence while holding hands is one of Eris’ favorite past times. 

Okay some NSFW headcanons so MDNI!

I think Eris has the filthiest mouth. Some of the stuff he has said has had you cumming instantly on his cock. “such a dirty whore for your high lord” and “you are mine to use whenever I please” and “tell me who makes you feel this good?” and “Beg” or “Say please” and “Don’t cum unless I tell you to or else” and “Bend over or get on your knees” and “Gods, the amount of times I’ve fisted my cock to the way you moan” 

He absolutely loves fucking you with his tongue, he will tongue you until you have orgasmed 3 or 4 times before he even thinks about stuffing his cock inside. He also loves to finger fuck whatever cum is dripping out of your cunt after he is through with you. 

This male also is very exhibitionist. You love riding him while he is seated on his throne. He loves fucking you wherever and whenever. He has fucked you in the hallways, in the bath, in the stables, in the conference room, in the piano room, in the ballroom, in the throne room. Basically any and all surfaces that are sturdy enough in your home has been used. 

At this point, everyone is used to walking in on you. They just roll their eyes and quietly shut the door as they walk out. 

He absolutely has used his fire to tie you to the bed. 

He loves the feeling of overstimulating you until your legs are shaking and your body is convulsing with pleasure and feeling your core tighten around his cock, almost till he feels like he could get stuck in its warmth.

Mother forbid you try to close your legs and yank at his hair as he sucks and flicks your clit, he is spreading you back open with a slap to your inner thigh, “I wasn’t finished beloved, you have one more in you.” - obviously this is consensual, he would immediately stop if you safeworded. 

You love teasing him and he loves teasing you. Sometimes, you will only wear his sweater with nothing else and walk into his office to ride his thigh without even saying anything. Sometimes, he will slide his fingers up and down your inner thigh while you are in a meeting with other high lords, having a full conversation with Helion as though he isn’t cenimeters away from brushing your clit. He doesn’t even need to turn to look at you to know the effect that he is having on you. 

Ugh the way he moans when you suck him off, my goodness, you are constantly on your knees to hear him moan 

Breeding kink?? Need I say more???

Sometimes, Er will spit on your clit and rub it in. 

instant orgasm 

You love ripping his clothes off and he loves doing the same to yours. Ultimately, you are going clothe shopping maybe 4-5x/month because all your clothes end up shredded. 

OMG also??? He loves when you are only wearing a necklace or bracelet that he bought you while he fucks you. 

I get the feeling that he loves to creampie you, but also he loves cumming on your tits and then using his fingers to wipe it off, slipping them into your mouth and ordering you to suck. 

Hearing your laugh is one of his favorite sounds... hearing you screaming his name in pleasure IS his favorite sound. 

Anyway... your panties are constantly wet for this male and he doesn’t forget it. 

Sorry, this was all over the place but I just have so many thoughts for this male I cannot breathe frl. 

[ceaseless-watchers-special-girl]

you guys. you guys you guys. i think i know what i want from the final season of the penumbra podcast. i have spent the past ten minutes pacing around my room. yesterday i read up to chapter 17 of prydon's fic separate but syncopated (https://archiveofourown.org/works/30943430/chapters/76417991) which let's be honest, you've probably read already. it's phenomenal. if you haven't, you should.

so i've been thinking. i just really want to go back to brahma. i want to go back to brahma and take down the guardian angel system.

the thing is, the junoverse is a very character driven storyline, and i love that about it. the second citadel is more event driven i think, and it was more difficult for me to get into that storyline and stick with it (i'm weak i'm sorry). for example, although the first season focuses a lot on juno solving the whole martian artefact doodah, back then the penumbra crew were still finding their feet.

then junoverse season 2 happened, and the entire point of that season was basically "get juno over his trauma" (that's why it was so long oh my god). sure, there was a whole plot with ramses and the theia souls, but i think we can all agree that was secondary to juno's character development.

next, season 3. season 3 is definitely character driven, you literally can't deny it. it focuses on each member of the carte blanche in turn, and it uses the plot, finding the curemother prime, as a secondary tool to further the true point of the season: getting to know the characters.

season 4 i'm a little less certain about because i'm typing this post straight into tumblr fresh out of my brain (if anyone wants to help out with the analysis i'd love that). but i think the point of season 4 is to test and showcase the bonds of the carte blanche with each other, and juno rescuing them all is not only a good story, but also a good way to show off the relationships they built in season 3. his relationship with nureyev is shown through periodic reading of the journal, and juno's copious inner monologues (i say like i'm one to talk when all of these thoughts are swirling around in my own head).

then, season 5. the point of this season mirrors that of season 2, but this time, we need to get nureyev over his trauma. this is way trickier, because we're not inside nureyev's head, we're still in juno's. it's still character driven because the aim is to help nureyev, but the plot is given by juno having to chase him across the galaxy. hence, juno's hesitation when he finally finds nureyev.

well, steel, you've caught him. now what the hell are you going to do with him?

there is no plot to drive the character study anymore. our goal was to help nureyev, and juno (poor juno) has done all he can. the ball falls squarely into nureyev's court now, and juno has no say in the plot of the rest of the story. this is why i have been chewing myself alive since the last episode — we know what's next for the characters emotionally, but we have absolutely zero idea what's happening next plot-wise. it's killing me.

(what was the point of this post again?)

OH WAIT I'VE GOT IT. so. since our whole thing for this season is helping nureyev, and we all want him to go batshit fucking insane, i really want nureyev to go back to brahma, and finish what he started two decades ago. i think it's the perfect circular story arc to keep them occupied while nureyev heals emotionally from the fallout from everything going on with slip.

also, sorry to get real for a second, but i've just been tearing myself apart being morally outraged at the world we live in, and the fact that i'm barely able to do anything about it. maybe one day i could, but until then, it would be nice to see my favourite space gays set an example.

now, i know there's complications with this. nureyev refused to take the guardian angel system down in the first place because of the damage it would cause, and i'm willing to bet he hasn't excised that moral core just yet, no matter how hard he's trying. but i'm sure they can find a way to make it work. they have rita, after all!!

they're definitely hinting at a homecoming arc for juno. i think nureyev needs one too, is all.

[pyrotechnicarus]

As a lyricist who doesn’t compose for your productions, what is your approach to writing lyrics?

Depends on the composer! I'm a very lyrics-first person (though I've been experimenting a little more with music-first composition styles and having fun with them.) I like to write a complete, well-structured lyric, hand it to my composer to set, and then we go back and forth with little edits if needed (they might ask me for fewer syllables in a certain line, I might ask them to make the melody go up on a hook, etc.)

When all is going well I am possessed by a mad spirit of creativity whispering me rhymes in the middle of the night and I write a complete, almost formally perfect, well-scanned lyric in the wee hours of the morning (Jimmy July, I Don't Know You Anymore, Litany of the Martyrs, A Little More In Love, and Blood Oath were all written this way.)

When I'm struggling to write a song, usually I'll outline it as formal sections (what is the main thought of the A section? What is the main thought of the B section? How does that change in the final A?) and then collect related rhymes and words for a few days in a notes app until I'm ready to sit down and grind it out. Mostly class assignments fall into this category, and certain opening/closing numbers (Day In Court (reprise) my behated) or songs I'm too scared to approach head-on without a formal guide (e.g. The One Who Pulls The Strings).

I guess one way I'm different from strict bookwright/lyricists is that I often come up with a tune for my lyrics as I'm writing them. This helps them scan* regularly in my first draft (usually I have to go back and scan them again, to make sure, but they often come out pretty rhythmically sound.) Upon request I've sung my composers these tunes before, but unfortunately my little tunes are usually the melody to some popular song I've forgotten I know, haha! This is a beautiful thing about having different people do the words and composition -- they can approach the lyrics with a fresh brain and always come up with something way cooler than my initial instincts.

*I dunno how much musical theatre writing technical terminology you know, but here I'm talking about the scansion of my lyrical lines- the usage is essentially same as when people talk about scansion in poetry. Unless it's dramatically motivated, you generally want the emphases in each line to land in the same place, so that they eventually align with the downbeats of a measure. It gets a lot more complicated fast, but it's a good rule of thumb for making sure people can tell what your lyrics are saying the first time they hear them.

[storiesbycory]

here's a little excerpt from Dead Man's Regime, which is linked in my bio. This was a gift for the lovely sim_sim as a part of our valentines day exchange! check out my fic and all the others in the collection on my ao3!

***

“Why did you leave Edgar Allan?” 

Neil reached for the glass of water resting next to him, drops of condensation falling onto the coaster his PR team had chosen for this interview. Everything, in fact, had been carefully picked by his manager and then reviewed again by another assistant before approval. Neil couldn’t have cared less about the color of his shirt or the width of the chair he sat in, not when his skin felt clammy at the thought of continuing the interview. 

“That’s a loaded question,” Neil responded. 

The host of SportsPlus tilted her head. “Is it?”

She reminded him of Allison, almost. Blonde hair, deep brown eyes, and a smile that meant she could see right through his bullshit responses. Maybe it wasn’t such a complicated response, Neil thought. But he didn’t like thinking about how bad it used to be, the conditions he used to live in barely a year ago. Why people were still obsessed with the Perfect Court, he couldn’t tell. For all Neil was concerned, for Jean and Kevin, it was a dead man’s dream. 

“It’s a long story,” Neil smirked, just a little, leaning into the PR persona they’d crafted for him. “And it might make a lot of people angry.” 

“Start from the beginning.”

“The beginning?” Neil said. “Which one?”

***