#my childhood friend lives next door and they text me asking if i’m okay every time they hear an argument
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one of the neighbors called the police on my brother bc he’s been yelling at my parents outside for the past half hour
#they’re not gonna help king/queen but ty for trying !!#anyways.txt#delete later#okay wait i’m gonna voice some negative thoughts again bc#like i’ve said before#i cannot get over the fear#that he’ll kill us one day i mean#and we’ll be in headlines#all of the warning signs are right here#the anger the addiction the violence the yelling the double digit 911 calls#i can’t shake it off. it’s all i feel this is building to.#someone is going to die he’s going to kill someone#if not one then all#it’s horrifying. it’s so helpless. i feel it in my gut.#the neighbors can tell there’s violence in the house#my childhood friend lives next door and they text me asking if i’m okay every time they hear an argument#they say their mom will take my in if i need it#it’s such a scary thing to feel like it’s not enough and i’ll die in this house#idk. ruminating bc there’s nothing else to do right now.#i’m just. living in a warning sign. there’s nothing else. there’s a warning but there’s no help.
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It's undeniably real (Layla El-Faouly x The Moonknight system x Reader)
Chapter 1: Then, it's the best feeling I've even known
Words: 1282
Warning: sex mentioned not described.
Three months ago when my best friend, and childhood crush, Layla El-Faouly reached out asking if I would like to possibly be in a threesome with her and her Husband Marc I was surprised. One they never seemed the type for Non-Monogamy, and Two I was pretty sure Layla was over her Bi-curious phase a long time ago. It was a pretty amazing night. I was pretty sure I would never have sex that good again, but I was very wrong. I have sex like that all the time. About a week after that night they had invited me over again, this time, I found out a lot more. About Marc’s DID, About Steven and Jake, about Moon-knight, and their adventures around the world. I felt like I could probably take that all into stride as their friend, then came the next surprise.
They asked me out.
They wanted me to be in a relationship with them, all of them. I had felt like my heart stopped that second. It took me sometime to process it and decide.
It had been a long day at work, I had just managed to get in the door and get out of my work clothes when there was a knock at the door. I went to take a look though my peephole It was Marc. I opened the door with a half smile on my face.
“Hey, Marc. Come on in.” I smiled and gestured for him to come inside.
“Hey, I’m sorry to not call or something before coming over I...I needed to see you.” He says in his usual gruff voice. He needed to see me? This was something else.
“Oh, um Okay.” I closed the door after he walked in. “Is something wrong?”
“Look, I thought it would be a good idea if, I asked you on a date, and they Want to ask you on a date as well, Especially Jake, He and Layla, don’t exactly get along…It’s a long story.” He seemed anxious about it, about asking me out.
“Does Layla also want a date? Is this some kinda trail period? First four dates free?” I try to lighten the mood with a joke. Marc smirks and chuckles.
“Yeah, something like that. I’m sure Layla would enjoy that. Sorry…this is still new to me…to us.” He rubs the back of his neck and averts his gaze.
“And not to me.” Admittedly my last triad hadn’t ended well but I had more experience in this than they did. “Anyway you feel about it is totally normal. Its how you act on those feelings that matters.” We sat in the living room for hours after that. Talking about how he felt, talking about how the others felt, and talking about how we all felt about Layla. I put my hand on his knee at one point and he after thinking for a second put his hand on mine, and that’s when I think I knew, no matter how those first dates went, I was saying yes.
~
Now three months later I’m grocery shopping with Layla, trying to figure out what one of the boys wrote on the shared grocery list, her arm around my waist as I’m holding the list.
“I can’t read Jake’s handwriting, what the hell does this say?” She points at it.
“Horchata Mix.” I laugh
“How can you read that?”
“He leaves me little love notes, like in the book I’m reading or on my bathroom mirror. I had to figure out what they said. So I made a cipher.”
“Well Jeeze, For all the times I managed to get him to talk to me all he could do was cuss me out.” Layla chuckles. Layla and Jake had a rough start of it, when He first showed up he brought chaos into their lives again and after they had just managed to settle down again. Layla had every right to feel like she did, but Jake also had a right to live a life, and for some reason, He really liked living his life with me. Which made me think of our first “free date”
~
“Dress for dancing. Can’t wait to see you. -J” That’s all the text said. The text made me laugh. The short black dress that hugs every curve of my body, the comfortable dance heels from my days in dance class, delicate makeup, hair done nicely. I thought I did well. I was surprised when Marc and Layla had said Jake wanted to take me out first. Apparently he had practically begged. I thought they were kidding at first, until I had gotten the text from Jake. Once I was ready I checked my phone to see a text from Jake.
“Outside. –J”
I felt my heart start to race as I left the building. He was standing outside his car, a flirtatious smirk on his face, It was a little odd to see Marc’s body but know it wasn’t him, how he held himself, the way he dressed, it was all very different. I walked up to him. I looked him over for the first time, he was dressed very nice, dress pants, white button up, dark tie, and the pageboy cap pulled over his dark curls was a good touch.
“It’s good to finally meet you Hermosa. You look stunning.” His Spanish accent was a bit of a surprise.
“Thank you Jake, It’s really nice to meet you too.” I smile and lean in to kiss his cheek, a soft chuckle leaves his lip before returning the favor.
“Tu eres muy dulce…” His Honeyed words hit my ear and a shiver goes down my back. He opened the car door for her and she sat down in the car. As we drove to the dance hall we made some simple conversation. We pull into the parking lot of the dance hall and Jake is a gentleman the whole way in, opening doors, taking my hand, ordering my drink, it was quite sweet. But I had no idea what I was in for when we hit the dance floor.
He takes one of my hands in his and his other wraps around my waist, and he gives me a warm smile. It was my turn to surprise him by knowing where to hold myself in a starting dance position, a small smirk on my face as he chuckles and we start to dance together. I feel my heart thumping in my chest as His dark brown eyes met mine, something in the quality behind them, was different then when Marc looked at me. Everything about him was sensual, every touch, every turn, every second I felt like I was dancing on air. At some point we took a break and sat down to talk.
“Where did you learn to dance Muñeca?” He asks
“I took a bunch of classes in college, and some more recently with my ex. ” I answered honestly “And you?”
“If I told you I’d have to kill you.” He says with a chuckle. I laughed.
“Alright keep you’re secrets Lockley.”
“How else am I gonna keep you on your toes? Hm?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh again.
~
I put the blue bag of Horchata Mix in the cart with a smile then looked up at Layla. Her coffee eyes looked at me with an affection I had learned to enjoy over the last three months. I was thankful every single second I had with them. I had learned many times over the years that love like this is rare and fleeting, I just hope this time it lasts.
~
Masterlist
Chapter 2
#moon knight#marc spector#x reader#jake lockley#layla el faouly x reader#marc spector x reader#jake lockley x reader#moonknight x reader#fluff#steven grant x reader#polyamory#poly representation#moon knight system#moon boys#layla el faouly#Spotify#steven grant
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Not the Same
Jake and (Name) were the closest of friends. Lives across the street from each other and grew up together. They knew they’d be in each other’s lives for ever. At least…They thought they would. That changed when Jake had to move away for university. The kept in contact but it was just not the same. Now, they’re change to reunite is here. (Name) is ecstatic to see her best friend again. Jake…It’s hard to tell how he feels about it. But (Name) soon realizes that their friendship is not the same. He…is not the same.
——————————————————————————
(Name): Hey Jake☺️
Jake: Heyyyy (Name)
(Name): Guess what?
Jake: OMG! Are you pregnant?😱 I didn’t think it would happen so soon…😔
(Name): ???? Why is that your first thought? And I’m not pregnant!
Jake: Is your mom pregnant?😢
(Name): No! No one’s pregnant!
Jake: So no new siblings? Then what’s going on?🙄
(Name): Me and mom are moving
Jake: Don’t tell me you’re going to be even farther away from me…
(Name): Don’t worry about it🤭
Jake: I’m scared???
Jake: Hello???????
Jake: Currently calling the police !
——
(Name) laughed as she turned off her phone. She leaned her head against the window as her mom drove to the airport. “Are you happy to finally be able to see Jake again?” Her mom asked. Jake. Her childhood best friend. Her only friend actually. They practically spent their whole lives together.
Until…Jake had to move away for college. They still kept in touch, but certainly not as much as they used to. They went from FaceTiming everyday, to phone calls every few days, to barely even texting. But now, (Name) was finally going to meet him again after all this time since she’s transferring to his school. “I can’t wait!” She said, the excitement clear in her voice.
——
Before they knew it, they were already on the plane. After their flight, they had already arrived in their new town. And of course, the first place (Name) went was Jake’s house.
She was able to get the address from her mom who got it from Jake’s mom. (Name) knocked on the door as soon as she arrived. The door opened a minute later.
A girl with short, dark red hair opened the door. (Name) was startled at the girl, “Um…excuse me…?” (Name) started unsurely. “I’m here to see my friend, Jake. Does he live here?” The girl nodded before turning her head towards the inside of the house. “Jake! Someone’s here to see you!” She shouted. “Tell Jay for the last time that I’m not going to the gym with him!” A man yelled from somewhere inside. The girl let out a deep sigh then yelled, “It’s some girl!” The boy came to the door immediately.
Once Jake came, the girl went back into the house. “(Name)?!” He exclaimed, shock evident in his face. “Wh..what are you doing here?!” He looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Well…I did tell you I was moving,” (Name) said with a grin. “You didn’t tell me you were moving here…” Jake muttered more to himself than anyone else. “So…um…It’s good to see you again?” (Name) said, trying to keep the conversation going. Jake just shook his head and moved closer to (Name). He was about to hug her when he stopped himself. Instead, he gave her an awkward smile. “Was that your girlfriend…?” (Name) suddenly asked. “What?! No way! That’s just…ew…No. She’s just my roomate. We go the same university.”
“Um, Anyway, I should get going now. Me and mom have to unpack,” (Name) said, taking a step back. “Okay…see you later,” Jake replied awkwardly. (Name) smiled at him and turned around. But right before she left the door, he called out to her. “Wait! (Name)! I can help you with moving in tomorrow. My friends can come to and they go the gym a lot so they’ll be a lot of help.” (Name) grinned. “Thanks! I’ll text you the address!” She waved at him and jogged down the street.
——
The next day, Jake and his friends arrived at (Name)’s house. (Name)’s mom greeted them by the front door and let them in. “It’s so nice to see you again, Jake. Look how big you’ve gotten!” Jake chuckled and gave her a hug, “It’s nice to see you too.”
When he pulled back, he started to introduce his friends. He pointed to the boy with platinum hair, “That’s Sunghoon.” “And that’s Jay,” he said as he pointed to boy with dark blue hair. “They’re my other roommates,” Jake said. “It’s nice to meet you,” Jay said as he gave (Name) and her mom a handshake. Sunghoon just gave them a nod.
“Let’s get started!” (Name)’s mom clapped her hands excitedly. “Jake, could you please help get the boxes from the moving truck? Jay and Sunghoon can help with putting (Name)’s things in her room.” “Sure thing!” Jake followed (Name)’s mother, leaving (Name), Jay, and Sunghoon alone. “Come on,” Sunghoon said as he grabbed some boxes labeled ‘(Name).’ Jay and (Name) followed him, each picking up a box as well.
The three made their way to (Name)’s bedroom. Sunghoon set the boxes down on the floor with Jay and (Name) following suit. “How’d you get Jake to help you with this?” Sunghoon asked her. “What do you mean?” (Name) replied, confused. “Jake wouldn’t help someone move in if he doesn’t know them. Well-actually…” Sunghoon shrugged. “What? Me and Jake are childhood friends. We’ve known each other our whole lives.” (Name) furrowed her brows in confusion. “You’re childhood friends? He’s never mentioned you before,” Jay said. (Name) nodded, “He never mentioned me? At all?” “Nope,” Sunghoon answered.
(Name) remained quiet, unsure how to feel. Sunghoon shrugged his shoulders and went back downstairs to get more boxes. Jay pat (Name) on the back, “Don’t think too much of it. He probably had his reasons. But…if I had a friend as pretty as you…I don’t think I’d ever stop talking about you.” (Name) blushed at Jay’s compliments. Jay smiled and patted her shoulder again, then went back downstairs. (Name) shook her head and made her way downstairs as well.
——
“Ahh…” Jay stretched. “Man, moving day sucks so hard.” Jake chuckled at his friend. They had just put the last few boxes in one of the rooms and were heading back to the living room where (Name) and her mom were. “Thank you, boys! How much do I owe you?” “Oh, no worries,” Jake assured her, “We’re just happy we could help.” (Name)’s mom smiled, grateful. She thanked them again and told them that they could go home now. “See you at school tomorrow?” Jay asked (Name). “Yeah! See you tomorrow!” (Name) replied. “See you later,” Jake said as hugged (Name)’s mom. “Bye guys!” She waved at them as they went outside. Once they were gone, (Name) closed the door behind them. “Welp. Let’s get the blowup mattresses,” (Name) sighed.
——
And just like that, the day of (Name)’s first day of school had come. She got dressed and put on her shoes as she sat on the bed. Suddenly, she heard a buzz beside her. She grabbed her phone and unlocked it. It was a message from Jake.
Jake: Do you need a ride to school? Jay’s offering
(Name): If you have enough room, sure. Thanks :)
Jake: We’ll pick you up in five.
(Name): K see you then
—–
Five minutes later, (Name) heard a knock on the front door. She opened the door to see Jake standing there. “Hey. Ready to go?” He asked her. “Yup.” She nodded her head. She and Jake made their way to Jay’s car. As soon as they got in, Jay drove off. “Thanks for the ride,” (Name) told him. “No problem,” Jay said. The rest of the drive was in silence. (Name) felt uncomfortable; she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the courage.
“So…how do you guys all know each other?” She finally spoke after what felt like forever. “Well…me and Sunghoon have know each other since middle school. Thrn we met Jake freshman year of university when the three of us were assigned to work on a project together. We just kinda hit it off after that,” Jay answered. “I see…” (Name) nodded her head in understanding. After a few more minutes of driving and talking, they finally arrived at school.
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depend on me | jjk hybrid
summary | you’re so used to letting Jungkook do everything for you. he babies you almost and you’re both constantly reminded of the strangeness in your friendship. you’ve always loved him but he can’t see you as anything but the little bunny girl he used to protect. you change his mind
warnings | 13.1k words, bunnygirl!reader x human!jungkook, childhood friends, ddlg undertones, smut, rough smut, hybrid smut, oral sex, slight dubcon but not actually, breeding kink, daddy kink, table sex, jk shows you how strong he is, riding, rutting, cunnilingus, use of pet names, overprotective koo, dirty talk, past relationships, friends to lovers, AGE GAP [FOUR YEARS] heat cycle
Deja vu was never anything he was new too. Technically, he’s only experienced a couple times before but he remembers each time vividly. Jungkook doesn’t actually know if this counts as deja vu though.
It’s not a sense that he’s done this before, it’s more of a fact. He’s been in this same situation before, a few actually. It’s been so long though his brain short-circuits when it fishes the memories out his head. He visualizes them at the same time, side by side watching them quickly clone into even more times this has happened.
He feels bad every time it happens. He can’t imagine it feels nice to be the apparent cause of this so he always felt bad for you. But you should be the last thing on his mind during these times, he just can’t help it. He doesn’t like seeing you get the blame. It wasn’t your fault, it never was. If it was anyone’s fault it was his. He’s the one who never tries hard.
But still, even as he knows this, he doesn’t do anything to stop it. He lets it happen over and over again because he literally does not know how to change it from happening. There’s only one way for it to stop apparently but he was never going to do that.
“I’m just asking you to prioritize me as your girlfriend instead of Y/n.”
“It feels like you pay more attention to her than me.”
That’s the Deja vu part. It tends to be along the same lines so he calls it deja vu. Some girls might call it a red flag but he can’t understand why. He never understood why every girl was so bothered by it.
He never understood the constant dislike toward you. Okay sure you weren’t the nicest but you weren’t the meanest either. In his eyes you were nothing but a sweet bunny. It’s like no one can understand his friendship with you, they always expected something more lingering under the surface even if there was nothing there.
“I don’t get why I’m always the problem,” you sighed shaking your head as you looked at your friend, “It’s like they’re looking for someone to blame and I just happen to be the person for the job.”
“Oh please stop bullshitting,” Jimin rolled his eyes sorting through his hand of cards, “You are the problem. It’s all because of your lifetime crush on Jeon Jungkook.”
Other than Jungkook one of your closest friends is Jimin. He lives right next door and being some of the only hybrids on your floor you’ve managed to get close. Jungkook wasn’t too thrilled at first especially knowing Jimin was a hybrid as well but he couldn’t do anything about it. Jimin was a snow leopard hybrid with a long fluffy spotted tail that you loved petting and it was good for you to interact with others similar to you.
“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes sinking lower into your spot on the couch thinking back to what he was trying to tell you. Alright, fine. Yeah that was part of the problem but you always thought you were good at hiding it. You’ve been hiding it from Jungkook for years. Before you could plead your side of things your phone distracted you. It vibrated once with another text from Jungkook displaying—the fourth in the last ten minutes.
jungkook | I’m starting to think I really am the problem
y/n | no I am remember
jungkook | whatever I’m on my way home
“Ugh! I’m always put second!” Jimin whined throwing a pillow at you when you let your cards go to respond. You rolled your eyes setting your phone back down, “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about being your best friend. Jungkook shouldn’t count since you’re in love with him,” Jimin said with a scoff as he reached for the pack and started putting the cards away. His tail was behind him swaying rhythmically making your eyes focus on the movement, your little fluff tail twitching.
“You have to stop saying that, he’s on his way,” you sighed making yourself comfortable on the couch as you stuck an arm out to reach for the spotted tail of his, “And you are my best friend. Jungkook is…”
“Jungkook is Jungkook, I know, it’s complicated,” he said mockingly like he’s heard you say it before, though he has. He sat next to you allowing you to pet his tail, “But if you’re not dating then you’re friends which means he’s actually your best friend and I’m just a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.”
You smiled as you got up throwing yourself over Jimin in what you would call an embrace if he wasn’t fighting it so hard, “You are my best friend.”
“Is this a bad time?”
Both of your heads turned toward the door as Jungkook came in. He was taking his shoes off looking between you two with furrowed brows. You sat back fixing your hair as you released Jimin’s tail and looked up at Jungkook. He went to his room discarding his stuff before coming back to where the two of you were. He gave one more look to Jimin who was hitting the tip of his tail against your nose making it scrunch up while you giggled.
When Jungkook sat down you turned to look at him scooting closer until you were planted on his lap and his arms wrapping around your waist. Your nose twitched at the overwhelming scent of tangy perfume his latest girlfriend loved to wear and you didn’t like it. He let you nuzzle your face into his neck trying to scent him and rid the smell of some other girl.
It was always like this with Jungkook, he just never seemed to catch on why you did it and you’d never admit it. Of course you loved Jungkook, he was the sweetest human you’d ever met. Ever since you were kids he was always the one to comfort you after bullies pulled on your ears or got paint on your white fluffy tail.
Jungkook had always been one of the older neighborhood kids in your apartment complex. You’d lived there all your life and after school you would spend all your time at the complex park and walkways. Jungkook was four years older than you so you kept your distance at first. It wasn’t until you were five years old that a nine year old Jungkook approached you.
He’d been playing with his human friends when one kid decided to throw a rock at the little bunny hybrid playing by themselves—you were always playing by yourself. Jungkook remembers telling the kid to leave you alone, that you weren’t doing anything but they never listened. His friends made fun of him for sticking up for some hybrid but that never stopped him. Instead, he’d approached the small girl with droopy white bunny ears crying under a tree. He sat with you the entire afternoon trying to comfort you, telling you how cute you were compared to those little girls who were mean to you. He’d tell you not to waste your tears on them and that he’d protect you.
Just like that one afternoon turned into more. Jungkook had practically taken you under his wing forcing his friends to be nice to the bunny and leaving when they weren’t. He’d bandage up your bloody knees from tripping and wash off any dye thrown on your white ears. Kids were cruel to you growing up and Jungkook had made it his mission to always be there for you.
In middle school and high school it was harder for him to see you since he was a teenage boy with changing emotions. Girls his age and older caught his attention and he’d spend his afternoons with friends at arcades or game rooms. He’d make out with girls at parties and drink like all his other friends. To be honest he hardly thought about you in these situations.
When he would get home if he’d see you around he’d ask how you were doing but that was it. You were still the growing bunny hybrid he’d grown to care for so he always felt guilty when he couldn’t see you for a couple days. He practically had seen you grow up and put up with so much torment from your peers that he wanted to be the one who was there for you. The problem was your age difference, he couldn’t be hanging out with you all the time without people looking at him weird so he had to stop. He took your number instead so that you can rant to him about whatever you wanted and he’d respond.
His friends made fun of you every time they saw you. They’d poke at Jungkook and call you his girlfriend or his pet and he’d argue with them over it. There never understood his relationship with you and he never went into detail. In reality he just wanted to protect you. He’d always see you getting picked on outside and he never saw your parents. All he saw was a little kid always outside by themself and his need to comfort had never changed.
Maybe it had something to do with having an older brother but Jungkook always craved to have someone look up at him like that. To feel secure because he was around and trust that he’d be there through anything. You made him feel that way.
So, after he graduated high school and was moving to Seoul for university it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Having to tell you he was moving away was so hard, he still remembers seeing little 14 year old you crying. You yelled at him that day, told him you didn’t need him anyway and that he could go and never come back for all you care. That had hurt him more than his break up from his high school girlfriend. You’d ran off into your house and he couldn’t do anything about it.
If it wasn’t for his parents telling him of the little hybrid Jungkook used to be friends with moving to Seoul he would’ve never known. He tried visiting during breaks but as time passed his life had gotten busy. Four years after he left and you graduated you reunited again. He called you asking what your plan was when you got to Seoul and in the end he asked if you wanted to move in with him until you figured out what to do.
That was three years ago when you were 18, now you were 21 and the two of you still lived together as roommates.
“Kookie!” You whined wiggling off his lap when his fingers played with your tail, you crashed into Jimin scooting back, “You’re not even listening!”
Jungkook snapped out of his thoughts turning to look at you. His brow arched, “Hm?”
You rolled your eyes at him, “I asked what happened between you and Yuna.”
He let out a sigh running a hand over his face. He looked at Jimin wishing he was anywhere but here. He’d rather talk to just you but that didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. With a shrug he said, “Well she basically said I don’t prioritize her and that she wishes I’d give her more attention.”
You made a pout shaking your head, “But you do prioritize her!” Jimin nudged you from behind but you ignored it. You knew what Jimin was thinking. He was wanting to know why you always did this to yourself. Why you never told Jungkook how you felt about him and instead let him go on and date whoever he wanted and then her upset when they break up.
You had a reason for it, of course you did. It was pretty simple too. You have always had a crush on Jungkook but you also have always known he’s different. He’s popular, he’s attractive, he’s nice. He doesn’t have any sort of quirk like pointed ears and a tail. He was the perfect example of a human male. He was always sought after by girls for as long as you could remember, girls who didn’t have anything off about them either and you just didn’t compete. So instead you bottled your feelings in hopes of staying by his side even if it was just as friends.
“I thought so too Bun,” Jungkook shrugged standing up and walking away. Jimin let out a sigh, “I’m gonna get going, I’ve got work in an hour.”
You waved him goodbye and made yourself comfortable on the couch. You watched Jungkook move around in the kitchen probably preparing dinner but you couldn’t think about food right now.
Right now all you could think about was the fact that yet another relationship of his was ruined because of you. You just don’t get it. Any time Jungkook introduces you to a girl he’s seeing you’re always on your best behavior. You’re nice and patient, you keep your distance from him and you try and make them feel comfortable whenever they’re over. Just because you couldn’t have him didn’t mean you wanted him to be alone. You wanted him to be happy and if he thinks whoever he is seeing will make him happy than you try your hardest to play nice. But it’s like no matter what you did it never worked. They always grew to hate you, always asked why you lived with him, why you couldn’t go off on your own. One even told you that the only reason he keeps you around is because he pities you—safe to say Jungkook never spoke to that girl again. Still, maybe they were right.
Maybe Jungkook really did just pity you like he had when you were kids and didn’t know how to ask you to leave. Maybe you were just taking up space, his personal space. You remember when he asked if you had a place to stay coming to Seoul. You’d told him now and he’d offered up his art studio to be your bedroom. He moved his things out and put a bed in for you.
Jungkook was in the middle of dicing up some vegetables for you, he was going to make soup with all of your favorite ingredients which were mostly greens. He looked up from his spot in the kitchen finding you laying down on the couch. Your ears dropped over your eyes and you were curled into yourself hugging one of the throw pillows. With furrowed brows he set the knife down wiping his hands clean before walking over to you. He took a seat at your feet, “What’s wrong?”
You didn’t say anything taking the pillow and pulling it over your head to hide under. His hand found it’s way to your back rubbing small circles, “Come on bunny tell me what’s wrong.”
You shook your head moving the pillow with and he sighed. He reached for the pillow trying to take it out of your grip only for you to turn on your stomach digging your face into the cushion. He let out a sigh taking your arm to pull you up into a sitting position before bringing you over to his lap, “What’s wrong?”
His lip stuck out in a pout when he looked over you face finding a stray tear slip from your eye. His heart broke at the sight and he was rushing to wipe it away, “Why are you crying?”
“Because it’s my fault,” you let out a sigh, “I ruined another relationship of your—“
“No, honey you didn’t,” his brows furrowed as he shook his head, “Don’t blame yourself when it had nothing to do with you.”
You were smaller than him in height which made it easier for him to coddle you but as he tried to you stood up. He called out for you but you ran to your room leaving him to trail after you only took her the door slammed in his face. He tried the doorknob knocking, “Come on Y/n don’t do this, let’s just have dinner and not think about it anymore.”
Still, you ignored him leaving him to eat all by himself and head to bed without seeing you again.
“Jungkook you just don’t get it,” Namjoon shook his head letting out a sigh as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Jungkook was in the middle of telling his group of friends what happened last week. You’ve been avoiding him the last couple of days and he doesn’t get why. He’s told you over and over again that his recent break up was not your fault. It was Yuna’s. She wanted to break up with him and she chose to blame you for it when you were nothing but nice to her. He’d see the way you’d come running with a smile offering her cookies and cake only for her to turn you down.
He was hoping talking to his friends would help him clear his mind but it seems to be having the opposite effect. Yoongi was brushing his tail as he spoke, “You know why this keeps happening but you want to act like it’s not a problem.”
Namjoon nodded, “Exactly. I’ve just got one question for you, okay?”
With a sigh Jungkook nodded waiting to hear what he’d have to say. He was thankful for the friends he’s made over the last couple of years. They were much more open minded than his friends back home but maybe it had something to do with their diversity. Namjoon, Jungkook, and Jin were all human with no extra perk while Yoongi and Hoseok were hybrids. Yoongi was a calico cat hybrid and Hoseok was a ferret. The group was balanced and diverse so they were much easier to talk to about his problems than his friends back home. Still, they didn’t seem to be on his side today.
“Say the next girl you meet is the one,” Namjoon began looking straight at Jungkook as they all sat around a table trying to have lunch between work shifts, “She’s everything you look for in a partner, you can genuinely see yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Let’s say she doesn’t mind your friendship with Y/n but she asks for one thing.”
Jungkook held his breath waiting for Namjoon to finish. Namjoon goes on, “She wants to spend the rest of her life with you and all she asks is for you and her to move in together. She wants Y/n to live somewhere else because it’d be inappropriate. What would you do then?”
“Y/n would just move in with Jimin,” Jungkook shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal but he tried to picture it. He’d have to tell Jimin about how you like your eggs in the morning and how you prefer your vegetables diced up. He’d give Jimin a list of foods you don’t like and foods you do. He’d show him what to do when your teeth begin to hurt and where to take you when your heat acts up—though he wouldn’t be comfortable you living with Jimin when that happens. Maybe he’ll just drive you to your heat partners himself so you wouldn’t have to worry about triggering Jimin—
“No, I mean what if this girl wants to live far from Y/n? She doesn’t want you to have to take care of anyone else,” Namjoon clarified, “But she’s your perfect match so you don’t want to lose her. What will you do when that happens?”
“I—I’ll…” Jungkook tried to picture it. He tried picturing this perfect imaginary person he’d want to spend the rest of his life with. Though if they were perfect they wouldn’t want him to distance himself from you, would they? No, no they wouldn’t.
“Jungkook this should be easy,” Hoseok cut in with a shrug of his shoulders, “You’d just be living separately so it shouldn’t be that hard to answer his question.”
“I know,” Jungkook looked down. It should be easy but it isn’t. He lived away from you for four years after high school and though he managed he’d be lying if he said he never wondered how his little bunny friend was. It’s why it was so easy for him to ask you to move in with him when you moved to the city. You’d grown up together in the same apartment building, the only time you were separated was when he moved away and he remembers how much it hurt you both when he did.
‘Go!’ Fourteen year old you had yelled at him, ‘I don’t care that you’re leaving. You can leave and never come back for all I care! I don’t need you! You’re just like everyone else anyway, all you do is throw people away when you don’t need them anymore!’
He tried to picture what would happen if his girlfriend really did ask him to live away from you. If the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with asked him to leave you behind what would he do? What would you say then?
He doesn’t think he can put up with you hating him again. He felt so torn when he first moved away that the second he found out you were moving to his city he had to keep you close.
“You’re stressing him out,” Jin pointed out catching Jungkook zone out in thought. He patted Jungkook’s knee, “He just means you have to think about your relationship with Y/n and how it’s affecting your other relationships.”
He did try and think about it for the rest of the day. Every time he thought about it though he couldn’t wrap his mind around what it meant. He hasn’t ever had to think about it. All the girls he’s been with in the past could never stand between you and him. It was just too different.
He had romantic feelings for them, of course he did. But what he felt for you was different, it’d always been. He’d never seen anyone protect you and that’s all he’d ever wanted. Why couldn’t he do that and be in a relationship at the same time? Why did they make him choose between them and you when they didn’t compare? His relationships never lasted more than a few months while he’s known you since he was nine. Now at 25 you’d think he’d want to settle down with someone just a little, and he does. He really does crave someone’s affection but not if it meant he couldn’t see you every morning and every night.
Jungkook has been asked numerous times why he doesn’t just date you. You live in an age where hybrid and non-hybrid couples exist and are accepted so why not? The truth is he’s never imagined you and him like that. Growing up you’d always been the younger girl he comforted in rough times. He’d remind you how important you were and how special too. He’d tell you that your bullies just picked on you because they thought you were weak and you weren’t. It had everything to do with your age growing up that had him never having any romantic feelings toward you and as you both hit adulthood he just never thought of you that way.
He’s also positive you’ve never seen him that way too. He’s seen the boys you’ve invited over and and the mean you’ve had for your heat. They were all hybrids, all taller and buffer. All had something special about them unlike him.
Hell, even your friend Jimin was so different from him. Jimin had soft pointed gray ears. He had the prettiest of spots on his tail that you absolutely adored. He’d see you fawn over Jimin’s special features that Jungkook just couldn’t compare. Even with Hoseok you’d play with him any time he was over always reaching for his tail and giggling when he did the same. You’d play with Yoongi who’d let you cuddle up against him because who didn’t like a cute little bunny like you? All Jungkook could do for you was make sure you never got hurt and even that he couldn’t compare with a hybrid’s strength.
When he got home later that day he found you doing homework at the dining table. Your ears were drooped to the side and you had a penstuck in your mouth for concentration. You jumped out of your seat the second you saw him and ran into his open arms, “You’re home!”
He smiled warmly carrying you back over to your chair and set you down. He combed his fingers through your hair making sure to touch that spot near the base of your ears that was a little sensitive, “What time did you get home today?”
“My last class was cancelled so I came home a little earlier,” you said leaning into his touch, foot thumping on the floor at the pleasure of being petted. He gently pulled his hand away to let you finish studying as he carried his work portfolio to his room. Unlike him who was working a full time job, you were still in University. You were in your second to last year while he worked at a production company during the week. You didn’t pay rent but that’s because he told you not to. He covered rent fully knowing you were in school with scholarships and financial aid and unless you had a job you wouldn’t have any money.
The simple fix was to get a job but he was not too thrilled about that. It’d be more hours in the day that you wouldn’t see each other and he can’t imagine you working some Night Shift alone where he can’t take care of you. Like he’s said before, he’s not even sure if your parents helped with anything at all.
After changing out of his work clothes he went to the kitchen rummaging through groceries looking for what to make for dinner. You and Jungkook split chores up evenly. You didn’t know how to cook so instead you cleaned while he made food when he was around. You’d both go grocery shopping and get things you needed. When you were home alone you mostly snacked until he made food.
“So what’d you do when you got home?” Jungkook asked as he rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows washing his hands at the sink. He looked over at the pen you had in your mouth, seeing the way the end was covered in teeth marks. Wiping his hands dry he reached for your box of teething sticks and took one out walking over to you. You looked up at him with rounded doe eyes and watched him pull the pen out of your mouth and hand you the stick instead. You gave him a cheeky smile and took it with an apology.
“I went over to Jimin’s and he introduced me to a new friend of his! He’s a tiger!” You sat with your knees tucked under you on the chair bouncing a little, “His name’s Taehyung and he smells so good! He smells like grass and honey. He says he likes to sleep in the sun and I do too! So we got along pretty quickly.”
Jungkook’s brows furrowed in discomfort. He didn’t like you friends with all these predators. You could seriously get hurt if you weren’t careful enough and if nobody was there to save you. Still, he just nodded letting you express your joy in meeting someone new, “His roommate is human too! Can you believe that? We had so much in common.”
Jungkook carried over a plate of vegetable chips over to where you were. He looked down at your homework and sat next to you hand feeding you when you asked him to. He smiled, “Just remember to be careful bun, make sure to call me if anything ever happens to you.”
You rolled your eyes despite the way your heart melted chewing thoroughly through the food he gave you, “I promise.”
Jungkook held your hand the entire way to his friend’s house. He knew how anxious you got sometimes surrounded by new people and he knew tonight that would be the case. He’d been invited over to Hoseok’s place on Friday since he was inviting a few people over he asked Jungkook to bring you along. You seemed eager at first but now that you were at the door you were timid. You kept looking around as if to make a mistake and he pulled you into his side, “We can leave if you want to.”
Before you could object the door was opening and Hoseok was smiling down at you both, “Good you’re here, come in! Drinks and snacks are in the kitchen. Don’t touch aux or I’ll kill you.”
With that you scooted closer to Jungkook. He rolled his eyes at his friend before leading you toward the kitchen. There were more people than he thought so he made sure to keep you close.
“Why doesn’t this open?” You held up a bottle with a corkscrew, trying to twist it off.
“You need a bottle opener,” he said simply hoping it’d satiate your curiosity. From the corner of his eye he could see you take a bottle and try and open it with a regular bottle opener instead of one for corkscrews. You hit the metal against the top. You did it over and over again letting out a whine, “It’s broken!”
“No honey, like this,” he took it out of your hands and took the right opener making sure to twist it on and show you exactly how to get it open.
“That’s stupid,” you turned away losing interest once it was finally open and looked at the crowd of people. Your eyes widened, “Taehyung!”
Jungkook’s head shot up immediately catching you just before you took off. He reached out to you but you were crossing the room toward a guy with black rounded ears and a striped orange tail. He smiled widely at you as you made your way up to him.
Jungkook set his drinks down on the table looking around the room as he tried to go after you.
“Jungkook! Come here for a second,” Namjoon called out to him. He looked over at his friend and a tall blonde next to him before looking back to you. You were smiling with the guy you called Taehyung and once he made sure everything was okay he went to Namjoon.
“Hey,” he mumbled reaching over the island for his drink.
“Hyeri this is my friend Jungkook, the one I’ve been telling you about?” Namjoon said with a smirk, “Jungkook this is Hyeri. Hyeri has been asking me to introduce you to her for a while now.”
“Thanks for the subtlety Joon,” the blonde rolled her eyes as her face flushed red avoiding Jungkook’s blank stare. He just got out of a three month relationship with Yuna and was already being thrown to the sharks. With a sigh he smiled, “He doesn’t know what being subtle means.”
At the other end of the party you and Taehyung were having a different sort of conversation.
“But he’s not my owner! He’s my friend, you can’t own a hybrid anymore,” you argued with your new friend Taehyung who teased you over your relationship with Jungkook. Turns out Hoseok and Taehyung roomed together in college and recently got together again. You were surprised to se whim here since you’d just been excitedly telling Jungkook about your new friend a few days ago.
“I know I’m kidding Bun!” Taehyung laughed ruffling your hair, “But what I mean is… you’re close with Jungkook, right? You don’t pay rent and don’t pay any bills. It’s almost like he’s your owner considering the little independence you have. What happens when he gets into a long term relationship with someone he really loves and she asks him to kick you out?”
Your ears fell forward shielding yourself as you thought about it. Would he kick you out? He’s never ever chosen his girlfriends over you but what if the next one was The One. Would he then? You don’t Ben have a job. You don’t have money. Jungkook does almost everything for you. Even when it comes to clothes he buys you what you need under the pretense of birthdays, holidays and special occasions.
“Well how do I become more independent?”
So you listened to what Taehyung had to say. The next time you saw Jimin you asked him if he could help you get a job and you kept it a secret from Jungkook. Until the job was secured you didn’t tell him what you were doing and even after you won’t tell him the real reason why you got a job.
You hated to admit it but Taehyung was right. You needed to learn to be more independent. Growing up you’d been so independent. Your parents weren’t ever around and you had to do everything on your own. It was until Jungkook came along that he let you feel safe and taken care of. When he left after high school you had to get used to doing things on your own, handling things by yourself. You’d gotten good at it too. That’s how you made it to college, by studying hard and getting scholarships and aid. Unfortunately you’d reverted back to codependency when you moved in with Jungkook. He made it so easy to rely on him and practically let yourself be babied and you were not a baby!
You could do things on your own even if people didn’t believe you and you were going to prove it. You love Jungkook and you’re tired of trying him down. You wanted him to find happiness and he was never going to be able to do that if you keep holding him back.
Jungkook had been fresh out the shower, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist when he came out to find you getting ready. With furrowed brows he approached you, “Where you going?”
Your hand froze as it applies the last layer of mascara to your eyes. Without turning to look at him you bit your lip nervously, “Work.”
His mouth parted in surprise, “Work? W-what do you mean work?”
You took a small sniff of his clean scent feeling your insides turn giddy. You could see his bare chest and the small water droplets that trailed down the ridges of his abs. Taking a big breath you turned to look at him acting dumb, “I didn’t tell you? I swore I did. I got a job with Jimin. Tonight’s my first night.”
“No, I would’ve remembered if you told me,” he moved closer to you leaving his spot by the door and coming up, “With Jimin? He works at a bar Y/n.”
“I know,” you shrugged, “And I had an interview there on Wednesday. Today’s my first official day, I’m excited.”
“But… But why do you need a job? Are you short on money? I gave you a few hundred last month for your birthday, do you need more?” He asked looking around your room, “Let me go get my wallet.”
He left before you could even argue and changed into something more suitable in the process. He came back to your room, “How much you do need honey?”
“Jungkook I don’t need money, I mean I do but not right now. I just think I should get a job, start supporting myself,” you shrugged standing up and looking at your reflection in the mirror. You wore a short black skirt and black top that emphasized the cute white fluff ball of your tail and white ears poking out your head. He shook his head catching himself staring a little too closely at the length of your legs, “But why? Why do you need to start supporting yourself?”
He knows he shouldn’t be against it. He should feel perfectly fine with you getting a job but he isn’t. He doesn’t get it. Why all of a sudden do you want to support yourself? You’ve been perfectly fine allowing Jungkook to take care of you. Were you growing tired of him? Did you plan on leaving? Was he becoming too overprotective of you? He let you run off with Taehyung the other night at the party. He doesn’t mind Jimin coming over to see you all the time or Hoseok cuddling you. He makes enough money to support you both so why?
You didn’t answer him and that bothered him even more. What didn’t you want to tell him? Did you meet someone? Were you planning on moving out? Did someone say something to you? Did one of his friends say something to you? He swears to god if someone tried to belittle your importance to him he’s going to flip.
“I’ll drive you,” he said instead of pressing the issue. You looked too excited and he couldn’t make you sad and worked up with all his questions. He drove you to the bar Jimin worked at happy to see Jimin’s car already there. He unbuckled your belt for you fixing your hair and lifting the fallen strap of your shirt onto your shoulder when it slipped.
“Call me if you don’t like it. Call me if they’re mean to you. Call me if you need absolutely anything, alright?” Jungkook’s hand cupped your face, “Please? Text me when you’re inside and when you’re off. I’ll pick you up. Text me how it’s going an—“
“I probably can’t be on my phone.”
“I’ll get down. I’ll just make sure everything goes smoothly and I’ll just drink at the bar for an hour or so,” he went to unbuckle his belt when your hand stopped his. He looked back at you with worried eyes, “It’s okay Kookie. I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I’m off?”
Jungkook felt his blood boil at the sight. He opened the car door and slammed it back shut storming over to you. You smiled widely upon seeing him, “Kookie!”
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he grumbled when you reached out to him for a hug. He glared up at the guy who’d been hugging you. He noticed how similar he looked to him. No tail, no pointed ears, just human. That almost seemed to annoy him even more.
“You’ve gotta meet my new friend Jisoo! He’s got a pet bunny and he says we’ve got the same color ears!” You said excitedly, “I wanna go see see him!”
“No!” Jungkook took a deep breath, “I mean, not right now honey it’s late. You’ve got class in the morning.”
With a pout you nodded turning to Jisoo and giving him an apologetic smile. Jungkook glared at him, why would that guy want you to go over this late to see a bunny anyway? Was that his code for wanting you to come over and do God knows what to you? He took your hand in his pulling you away as Jimin followed toward his own car.
Once you were inside you buckled your own belt and smiled, “Oh! But I am going to Jimin’s then. He’s gonna help me take drink orders faster so we’re gonna stay up and practice.”
“I’ll come with you,” Jungkook cleared his throat as he started the car trying to get home as soon as possible. You shook your head, “No it’s okay. I’ll just be next door and you’ll probably need to go to sleep soon.”
“But I haven’t seen you at all today bunny,” he sighed looking over to you. It’s true. This morning he had to leave for work early and couldn’t drop you off on campus so you had to get Uber to and from. Then you rode with Jimin to work today since you had the same shift and he’d been stuck in a meeting anyway. He’s been waiting for you all afternoon and now that you’re off you’re basically telling him you don’t need to see him. That hurts.
It’s like lately you would rather hang out with anyone but him. Yesterday he found you on the phone giggling over something Taehyung said. The day before you were telling him you’d like to open a savings account on top of a checking. It feels like over night you’ve decided you don’t need him anymore and that fucking hurts.
He complained about it to his friends the next day. You had to work again and he went over to Yoongi’s place after work for some drinks since he was just going to be home other wise.
“I just don’t get it. I feel like she doesn’t want me around anymore,” Jungkook sighed.
“I think you’re being dramatic,” Jin shrugged, “Shouldn’t you be happy? You’ve got all this free time now. You don’t have to rush home to make Y/n dinner or skip on a night out so she’s not home alone.”
“I agree,” Hoseok nodded looking to Jungkook, “And if I’m going to be honest I think you underestimate Y/n a lot.”
“I don’t!”
“You do,” Namjoon agreed, “You act like she can’t do anything by herself. Maybe she’s tired of you babying her all the time.”
“I don’t baby her,” Jungkook tried to argue but he couldn’t even explain himself. He does not baby you! He knows you can do things on your own he just prefers doing them. Ever since he left you for those four years he thinks back on everything he missed out on with you. He had the longest relationship during that time, a whole two years that quickly went down the drain when he told her you’d be moving in with him. She begged and begged him to explain why but he just kept saying the same thing over and over again. That he promised you as kids to always be there for you and he plans on keeping that promise he might to five year old you.
“You do,” Yoongi pointed out, “Don’t you ever wonder how she managed to do things on her own when you first moved here? Clearly she knows how to do things and she’s working on herself to be more independent So why do you seem so upset over it?”
“That’s not what bothers me!” Jungkook groaned throwing his head back into the couch, “What bothers me is that she has no time for me now. She’s always in class or working or hanging out with her new friends. I feel like she’s forgetting about me.”
Namjoon narrowed his eyes in thought, “I’m going to say something and I don’t want you to get mad at me because of it.”
Jungkook huffed already feeling himself get annoyed before Namjoon even said what he had to say. He tried not to react when Namjoon spoke, “I think you’re just jealous.”
“You love Y/n and I’m not talking about as a friend or anything. I mean you are genuinely in love with Y/n and you probably just never noticed. I think you keep seeing her as the little girl you used to care for and not the growing adult she is,” Namjoon pointed out, “You keep saying she’s forgetting about you but everyone knows that’s not true. I think you’re so used to Y/n only ever being focused on you that when she gives her attention to someone else—especially another guy, it makes you mad.”
“I’m…” he bit his lip feeling his heart race a little, “I’m not… I love Y/n but I’m not in love with her. It’d be weird if I was, wouldn’t it?”
He thought about it for a second. He is not in love with you. He can’t be. You were still that younger girl he wishes to protect, nothing more. If there was more to it wouldn’t he not be going on dates? Well to be fair he hasn’t gone on any dates since Yuna. Namjoon tried introducing him to Hyeri but the night he was supposed to get drinks with her was the night you were starting your new job. He’d been showered and everything but once he found out what you were doing he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He ended up calling her and telling her he wasn’t going to make it and stayed home to make sure if you needed him he’d be able to go with you.
And okay, yes, he did notice how much you changed when you first moved in with him. He was 22 and you were 18, you looked so different from the last time he’d seen you. You’d grown, the efforts of puberty taking full affect and yes it’d been a little hard at first to not focus on your sudden curves and assets. But still! He got over it pretty quickly when he realized that inside you were still that cute little girl he just wanted to protect.
“It’d be weird if you weren’t,” Yoongi cut into his thoughts coming back to what they’d been talking about, “Just think about it Kook. All these failed relationships because you won’t let Y/n go. Don’t you want to at least see if there’s anything between you two?”
They’re wrong. His friends are wrong. He was not in love with you, he just needs you. He’s just upset he feels like you’re brushing him off. He’s never once pictured you and him in any sort of romantic relationship. He’s never felt jealous when you go on dates or when you have heat partners—but was it because he’d know you’ll come home to him?
Right now he couldn’t even understand what you’re trying to tell him. You’re saving up to move out? TO MOVE OUT!?!?!
“But honey… I just… I don’t get it,” he shook his head following you into the living room, “Why are you saving up to move out? Did I do something to upset you? Just tell me and we can work it out.”
“Of course not Kookie!” You sat up on the couch, “I just… well I think it’s time I move out. I’ll give you back your art studio and you won’t have to worry about taking care of me when you meet someone new.”
“But I’m not even seeing anyone right now!” Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair feeling anxious, “And if I was I wouldn’t choose them over you!”
You shook your head. Sigh. You couldn’t do this right now. He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get that you need to move out. And he’s right, you have been distancing yourself from him but there’s a reason for it. Taehyung has really opened your eyes with that talk you two had.
You love Jungkook. No, you’re in love with him. That’s why you’ve been distancing yourself with work and new friends. Because if he does meet the right person you’re not sure how you’ll handle it. How will you put up with seeing him so in love?
So you’ve been trying to get yourself prepared for that hypothetical but realistic situation. But now he’s upset about it and you’re contemplating just being honest with him.
“I love you.”
He stopped pacing looking over to you, “I love you too Bun.”
You rolled your eyes slumping back into the couch, “No Kookie I mean I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time and I just don’t think it’s good for us to keep living together unless we both feel the same. We’re both adults and at some point our living situation and our relationship will come off as inappropriate, it already has.”
His brows furrowed. What did you just say?
You confessed to him last night and he had absolutely no idea how to handle the situation. It was so unexpected. How does one even prepare for that? All the sighs were there, he knows that, but it still took him by surprise.
You say you’ve always felt that way but that’s not true. It can’t be. If it was true… then that means all this time you’ve been in love with him. No. No!
It’s not true.
He knows everything about you. He would’ve known if you felt that way about him, wouldn’t he? If you felt that way about him why didn’t you say anything sooner? Why didn’t you get mad when he had a girlfriend?
Though he had seen you cry when you felt like he wasn’t paying enough attention to you. But he always thought you were just a needy bunny! You were high maintenance, he knows that, so maybe he just overlooked the signs?
“Do you mind driving me to work today?” You asked him. He snapped out of his racing thoughts from last night to turn and look at you, “Sure.”
He still can’t stop thinking about what you said, or what you said after: “Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to feel the same. I just hope you can understand now why I think it’s better that I move out.”
Once he had the keys and you were ready you both walked down to his car together. You’re perfectly fine, unlike him you’re not zoning out in thought. It’s almost as if you hadn’t made this crazy confession to him the night before! Maybe it wasn’t that serious to you? He’s not sure but he does know it’s all he’s been able to think about today.
He reached over to buckle you in only to find you doing it yourself and popping your AirPods into your ears essentially closing him out. He sat back, when did you get so… independent? He always puts your seatbelt on you. He always dices up your vegetables the way you like. He always makes sure his car has the exact scent you like. It’s like you don’t care about those little things he does for you even as you claim to be in love with him. He just doesn’t get when everything got so out of control that he doesn’t even feel like he knows you right now.
“Tomorrow I’ve got a meeting before week and a meeting after, I might not get to see you bun,” he cleared his throat as he stopped in front of your work. You just nodded your head opening the door. He wished you’d say more. He misses when you’d get upset about him being gone too long.
Biting your lip as you opened the door you paused. You’re trying to seem mature at the moment so Jungkook wouldn’t keep seeing you as a little girl but it was hard. Especially with what he just told you it makes you want to crawl back to him instead of heading to work. You turned back to him and pressed your nose against his.
His hand immediately flew up to pet your ear taking this small act of love and rolling with it. He still can’t make sense of what you’ve told him but at least he knows how to respond to this. He caressed that soft spot on your tall white ear you loved as you rubbed your nose against his, “Goodbye.”
“Bye,” he breathed out already missing your warmth when you pulled away. You came back to peck his cheek with a kiss giggling before you left for real this time.
You see, why can’t you be like that all the time? Why can’t you be all lovely like you’d always been instead of trying to push him like you’ve done recently. He just doesn’t get it! How can you say you’re in love with him just like that? Like it’s not a big deal! Then give him that soft little bunny kiss of yours even when his mind is racing in confusion!
You woke up the next day to an empty apartment. Jungkook had already told you he’d be home late today so you already knew he wouldn’t be at home in the morning either. What you couldn’t understand is why you woke up in pain?
You felt hot, kicking the sheets off and even going as far as removing your shorts. You checked the time, your first class would be starting soon.
Sitting up you tried to rub the sleep out of your eyes and stand but it physically hurt. Your stomach hurt and you felt like throwing up. With furrowed brows you sat back down trying to decide what to do. You’re already running late thanks to sleeping through your alarm. How did you even sleep through it? If you skipped a shower, didn’t do your make up or hair and skipped breakfast then you’d be able to make it to the bus stop. But all of that seemed like a lot of work and you had absolutely no desire to move off this bed at the moment.
You could call Jimin and see if he’s up but it was very unlikely. You could call Taehyung and see if he can come pick you up but by the time he gets here and drops you off your already be late for your first class.
“Ow!” You whined hunching over holding your hands to your stomach. You felt nauseous like you could throw up any second. Shaking your head you moved to lie back down.
Maybe you can sleep the pain away and not go to class today.
“I want someone recording from here,” Jungkook pointed at one corner of the room, “And here. Make sure you get both of theirs face and can you both please look at the camera when you talk?”
He pinched the skin between his brows. He had a meeting early morning about a new web video they’d be shooting and right after he had to rush on set. He’s been keeping himself busy trying not to think about you but he couldn’t help it. Last night you took an Uber back home and failed to ask him to go get you from work. He ended up knocking out so he hasn’t seen you since he dropped you off at work yesterday.
Right now he’s just hoping he can make it through the long day in one piece.
“What’s up with you today?” Yoongi chuckled as he came up to him. He just finished production for his own video and was checking on Jungkook’s progress. Yoongi and Jungkook were the only two of their friends who worked together and he’s thankful for that. But right now he doesn’t want to talk to Yoongi.
“Just tired,” Jungkook cleared his throat taking the bottled water one of the assistants brought him.
“So how’s Y/n? She’s still working at that bar?” Yoongi asked. Jungkook pretended to be too focused on the screens but in reality he wasn’t paying any attention. He huffed in annoyance running his hand over his face before turning to his friend, “Yeah. She is.”
“Alright sit down, take five,” Yoongi told him, “You look tired.”
After this small segment was recorded Jungkook called for a break allowing Yoongi to take him outside for a smoke break even if he didn’t smoke. He leaned against the railing crossing his arms in front of his chest as he waited for Yoongi to say something.
“What’s wrong with you? It looks like you haven’t been sleeping,” Yoongi said. It’s true. He hasn’t. He still keeps thinking about what you said and how you haven’t mentioned it since. And he feels guilty. He didn’t say anything back that night because he was genuinely taken by surprise. He’s happy he hadn’t, what if he said something he shouldn’t have?
For the past couple of weeks he’s been so confused by your behavior and by his disliking toward it he hasn’t once listened to what anyone around him says. He kept saying they’re wrong, that there’s no way you loved him like that but you just proved him wrong. And he doesn’t even have time to think about it before you’re brushing it under the rug like it doesn’t mean a thing. Like you could just say that to him and expect him to not care!
As if that doesn’t change your entire dynamic! And he just thinks about how you’re in class right now or on your way to work so he can’t even call and try and talk to you about it!
Except of course he’s wrong. He very well can call you because you didn’t go to class today. You were however on your way to work.
“You look like shit,” Jimin laughed when you came in. When you got closer he almost choked. He began to cough hysterically covering his mouth as he ducked down, “Holy shit.”
“What?” You sniffed yourself. You actually got up and showered before coming to work. He shook his head, distancing himself from you as he looked around at who was inside the bar. He approached you a little later on once he was able to calm down but he was still careful.
He’s never felt this way around you before. Jimin placed his hand on your waist hesitantly, “Are you feeling okay?”
You shook your head, “No. I don’t feel good I think I might be getting sick.”
Jimin shook his head still cautious as he took another sniff of your scent, “No bunny, you’re not sick.”
“Oh.”
“I think you should go home though,” he cleared his throat snapping himself out of his growing thoughts in concern. Before you could argue he was walking off toward the back office so he can find the boss. You brushed off his weird behavior trying to fan yourself as another heat flash passed. You wore some of the thinnest clothes you had today and yet you can feel yourself burning up.
Jimin fished his phone out of his locker pulling up his contacts and going straight to one in particular. It rang twice before someone answered, “Hello?”
“Jungkook hey it’s Jimin,” he released a breath he hadn’t known he was holding, “Sorry if you’re busy but um… I think you should come pick Y/n up.”
“What?” Jungkook sounded alert now, “Did something happen to her? Where are you? Are you guys working? Do I need to take her to the hospital? How severe?”
“I think she’s going to get her heat,” Jimin whispered. The line went silent, Jimin’s bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he tried not breathe in your scent that was starting to filter through the entire place. If there were any more hybrids here he had to get off the phone and go be with you.
“I’m on my way.” Click.
Jungkook cursed at himself. He’s so fucking stupid. He’s been so distracted lately he hasn’t been looking at your heat tracker. You never pay attention to it. It’s always Jungkook who does and he’s the one who slipped up. His meeting had ended early today so he’d just been at him while you were at work. He’s been relaxing while you’ve been suffering. He can’t believe himself.
He barely had his shoes on correctly as he rushed out the door to his car. Jungkook definitely ran some yellow lights but he didn’t care. If Jimin was able to smell you who knows how many more hybrids were getting a good whif. He needed to get you out of there and get you to call one of the bucks you typically spent your heat with.
“Koo!” You jumped into his arms the second he stepped into the bar. He found about three hybrids there standing with you, one being Jimin. He held you up in his arms, you pressed your face into his cheek, “I missed you!”
“I missed you too honey,” he took your bag that Jimin handed him making sure to keep your legs wrapped around his waist, “Thank you.”
“I don’t feel good,” you whined nuzzling your nose against his neck. He didn’t smell as strong as the hybrids who’d been keeping you company but he smelled so much better. He smelled like Jungkook and that was your favorite.
“I know baby I am so sorry,” he rubbed your back soothingly as he led you out, “Let’s go home.”
You hissed in pain hunching over and clutching your stomach as you sat in his car. He reached over you and buckled you in as he started the car. The sooner he got you home the better. His chest tightened at the sight of you in pain and he doesn’t care if he gets a ticket, he’s speeding home.
In the middle of the drive you took the seatbelt off. He turned to glare at you when you suddenly leaned over the middle console and kissed his cheek. The car swerved a little but he managed to keep it straight. You giggled, “You smell so good Kookie.”
He smiled awkwardly, “Thank you honey, why don’t you sit back down?”
You did as told like the good bunny you were but you could help but keep looking at him, “You’re so pretty Kookie. You’re the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.”
His breath hitched, “Really? I think you’re lying to me bunny.”
“No! I’m a good girl, I don’t lie,” you said suddenly shaking your head and leaning back into him, “I would never lie to you Koo, I love you.”
Oh God there it was again. The reminder that you had feelings for him and he didn’t say anything. Fuck. Maybe that’s why you said it, because your heat was coming up and not because you actually meant it.
He struggled to get you inside the apartment with you begging him to carry you and he couldn’t argue over it.
Jungkook fumbled with the key when he felt a sudden wet softness on his neck. He tried to ignore it and clear his head but it happened again. You were licking his neck as he held you. You were licking his neck!
“Baby hold on. Once we get inside you can call Jaeho or Seokmin and they’ll come help you,” he breathed out trying not to let his eyes roll back when you nipped on his ear lobe.
“Don’t want them! Want you!” You whined wiggling in his grasp that he almost dropped you. He couldn’t believe what you were saying right now. This wasn’t right. He’ll have to talk to you about this when your mind clears up.
“Ah fuck!” His voice was shaky as he pushed the door open just as you began to grind your hips against him searching for release. He had to push you against the wall to keep from dropping you, “S-stop that bunny. You’re not t-thinking straight.”
His eyes rolled back when he felt you kiss his neck. He heard the door slam shut behind him but he couldn’t move. Not with you trying to grind against him and fuck this was not a good idea.
He could feel his member begin to betray him responding to the sudden friction. You kissed along his jaw trying to turn his face. His eyes squeezed shut, oh fuck what does he do?
He doesn’t think you can wait for one of your heat partners. He thinks, no he knows, you want to do it with him but that just wasn’t a good idea! What would that make of your relationship?
“Baby we should st-ngh,” he couldn’t help himself. The second you kissed the corner of his mouth he was melting. His eyes fell shut in a haze as you kissed hungrily against his mouth. His hand landed flat on the wall trying to keep himself up. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Yes, fuck! Exactly what you were thinking. You pulled away with a needy whine, “Please Koo, want you to fuck me.”
Oh fuck. He let out a growl that vibrates through his chest as he peeled you both off the wall. He stalked toward the next available surface swiping his hand over the discarded mail and placemats before setting you down on the table.
He’s so disappointed in himself. He didn’t even put up much of a fight. He kicked a chair out of his way as he let himself fully succumb to your seduction.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned as you lied down on the cold surface looking up at him watching the wheels turn in his head. You were just so… needy right now.
You needed him to put his mouth on you now. You love him. You seriously did, and no this wasn’t just brain fog from your heat [also how could you miss it?] this was more. You’ve always liked him and coming into adulthood just made you realize how in love you were. You’re tired of hiding it and acting like you don’t. You want him to see that you mean every word.
Your legs parted hanging off the end of the table as your hand went straight for your covered core. He watched you with his lip pulled between his teeth still debating if he wanted to do this. His mouthed opened lazily in awe as you snuck your hand into your underwear not bothering to move your skirt out of the way.
He ran his hand over his face clearly frustrated when you brought another hand toward your breasts. You made the mistake of going braless today due to how uncomfortable you’ve felt all day. It just made your nipple buds ultra sensitive and hard. Your finger toyed with the nipple as your other hand began to palm your clit.
You couldn’t even find it in you to feel embarrassed with the way he wasn’t reciprocating as much as you’d want him to. Your head fall back with a whine pinching at your nipple while bucking your hips. You couldn’t help but feel the dams in your eyes break, a couple tears sleeping, “Y-you really don’t love me.”
It hurt. It hurt because you should be embarrassed by how you’re acting. You’re getting off on him watching you and he doesn’t even love you! But you love him so so so so much you can’t stop.
And Jungkook finally seems to snap out of this daze. His eyes pulled away from the wet patch on your underwear as your hand moved under it working yourself into a frenzy and the way you teased your nipples to look at your face. His cock seemed to have taken control for a moment, too in love with the show you were putting on for him he hadn’t noticed you were upset until you were crying.
“No! No baby please,” he licked his lips glancing down at your pretty face, heart breaking when he catches the tears in your eyes, “I love you. Of course I love you Bun!”
“You don’t,” you cried. Fuck, he was going to do it. He was going to show you. He cupped your face in his hands forcing you to look up at him and crashed his lips against yours. His brows knitted together in pleasure, an almost angry expression on his face as he let out a groan.
Your mouths clashed messily in a heated kiss, Jungkook’s tongue licking along yours moaning at the taste. You wrapped the hand that had been on your boob around his neck keeping him locked in close to you. The hand in your panties never once stopping rubbing at your clit when he pressed himself against you. His covered member pushed against your hand hissing at the friction feeling a jolt of pleasure course through his body.
You whined in pain when it wasn’t enough and it killed Jungkook. He didn’t want to see his baby bunny like this at all and it was all because of him! Without wasting another second he moved his hands off your face. Jungkook pulled on your shirt, ripping it open to expose your bare chest and pointed nipples. He needed to find your release now before you were in any more pain. God he’s so stupid to forget about your heat.
But if he remembered would he have been here helping you or would he have already made arrangements with Jaeho for you? His eyes rolled in annoyance, No thinking about what could have happened. His baby girl needed him. You asked for him and he wasn’t going to provide.
You back arched when Jungkook suddenly licked a flat stripe over your nipple, moaning loudly when he tugged the bud with his teeth. Jungkook pulled it into his mouth sucking eagerly like a man dehydrated. His hands gripped at your waist making you rut against his covered member as he sucked and nipped at your breast, “My poor baby,” he cooed.
It was frustrating. All you wanted was to be fucked and choked like a cheap whore by this man right here. You’ve pushed your feelings for him so far back that when they finally came to the surface it was in one heavy flood. They all poured out heavily before you making it hard for you to lock them back up, especially right now. You didn’t mind being babied by him right now, he was trying to console you after crying about he didn’t love you and it was working.
Jungkook pulled away with a pop, his own drool dribbling out the corners of his mouth as the heat radiating off your body became too much for him. He yanked his shirt off wrestling with his belt as he kicked them off swiftly. He looked down at your body, breasts on display, hand in your panties, finger working in and out of you. Fuck he can see the way your butt glistened with your slick.
“I’m such a bad…” he couldn’t think of what to call himself. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wasn’t your owner. Clearly he wasn’t just your friend. You were his bunny, but what was he?
“Daddy!” You whined out bucking into your hand impatiently and he swears he can die a happy man right there and then. He dragged you toward the edge of the table by your legs, “I’m such a bad daddy. I can’t believe I’ve left my poor baby like this.”
His voice was so gentle but taunting.
“Move your hand baby, let daddy apologize for forgetting your heat,” he licked his lips. You’d never seen him like this, eyes clouded with lust all geared toward you. You did as told moving your hand whining at the lost of contact making him click his tongue, “So nerdy.”
Without wasting another second he bent down and kissed your entrance over the soaked lace and dragged it off your hips in one go. You were so fucking wet, he’s never seen a pussy this covered in slick before they even started. Were you always like this? He ran a finger through your holds gathering your wetness on his fingertips before being of them back out. You groaned kicking your legs a little when he did, “Koo!”
“Shh, don’t be spoiled,” he looked at his fingers which shined, “Let me have a taste first.” His lips parted allowing his fingers to slip inside his mouth and pet his tongue. His eyes rolled back loving the sweetness, even your insides smelled good.
"You taste so fucking sweet bunny," he moaned. Before you could even whine again he was dragging the chair back plopping down on it. He took your legs and swung them onto his shoulders before pressing his face forward burying in your cunt. Another moan left your mouth as he pressed his lips on your clit. He brushed his thumb gently over the hardened sweet spot as you whimpered. He did it again and again, before going back to sucking your clit and flicking it with his tongue. He was being messy, so fucking messy and he could admit he’s never made out with anyone’s pussy quite like this before.
Jungkook slid in a finger carefully listening for your response. He tried to guide you to climax but he couldn’t. If he did he’d have to take his mouth off your pussy and there was no way he was going to do that. Instead he let his tongue do the talking, nose bumping against your clit repeatedly as he licked up whatever slosh his finger pushed out of you, sliding a second in to join the first.
“Want you to fuck me!” You hissed pulling on his hair harshly fucking yourself on his face. He’d never had you so aggressive and needy but damn he loved it. You were being greedy with him, a huge contrast with how distance you’ve been with him lately. You’re making him feel needed again.
“My baby wants to fuck?” He asked pulling away ignoring the line of arousal connecting his chin to your drenched pussy. Fuck, he’s never letting anyone else get near you on your heat ever again. You nodded cutely making grabby hands at him and his chest vibrated in another low growl. He’s kept his voice so gentle for you, just above a whisper, so sensual that it was driving you insane. And in the same tone he was speaking again, “Okay, I’ll give my spoiled bunny whatever she needs.”
Jungkook grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his waist forcing you up from the table as he tugged at his briefs with his free hand, angry cock pointing up and the tip smacking your butt.
Anticipation curled heavy in his gut just thinking about how he’d about to have you and with a hand sliding down your back he was lifting you up in the air only held up by his embrace.
You could take it anymore, the need to have him inside you outdoing your need to be obedient and let him have his way with you.
Jungkook hisses in pleasure when he feels your hand curl around his cock pumping him twice covering him in your slick. The thought of protection completely slipping from his mind when you lined him up with your entrance. Your eye lids flutter shut, the feeling of finally having something thick between your walls washing over you as you sank onto him. Jungkook’s head fell forward, lip tugged between his teeth, an almost pained expression as he tried to concentrate on his little bunny taking his fat cock in one go. Your hip is gripped tightly by Jungkook’s hand as he swings one of your knees over his arm and doing the same to the other side giving you no choice but to take whatever he’s going to give you.
Jungkook slides almost completely out before slamming back in. "O-Oh fuuuck" he grunts when he lifts your butt with his hands before dropping you back down. You moans loudly not caring if the whole block heard you.
Just then your gums begin to ache. The need to chew on something becoming overwhelming but you couldn’t do anything Jungkook fucking you onto his cock with no remorse. Thinking quickly you bit down on his shoulder, teeth nibbling softly relieving some of the itch. Jungkook grunts and slams hard and fast inside your tight walls, “Fucking Hell! My poor baby! You feel so fucking good bunny.”
You couldn’t hold yourself back. Being on your heat and worked up since earlier in the day, you couldn’t stop the pleasure from washing over you. You were cumming, mouth drawn open in a whine as stray tear slipped from your eyes, “No!”
Jungkook freezes, he tries to catch his breath biting back his release with a groan as you clenched down around him. He could feel your slick dribble down his cock and balls and suddenly he couldn’t hold you like this anymore. He quickly made his way to the first piece of furniture and crashing down on the couch.
“I’m sorry,” you hiccuped feeling him twitch inside you but he didn’t move. He wanted to make sure you were okay first, “It’s okay baby, this is about you right now.”
“Nuh uh,” you shook your head, hand flat on his chest as you sat on his cock, walls still convulsing, “Gotta make you feel good too.”
He wanted to argue and say it was okay but he couldn’t. You were already grinding on his cock and he was so fucking close. He gritted his teeth releasing a hiss, “Oh fuck baby, such a good fucking girl.”
“Want you to breed me,” you planted your feet against the cushion is best as you could, bouncing on his thick cock chasing his release now feeling another threatening to overwhelm you.
“Shit! Shit!” He covered his face with his forearm unable to concentrate on anything but your words and your tight cunt milking his cock, “Shit baby, fuck you want my babies? Want my kits?”
At that you bounced more eagerly, boobs bouncing in his face and his his lips lifted rutting into your every thrust. “I love you bunny!” He grunted staring down at your messy pussy shaking his head in disbelief. This was surreal, “So fucking much! F-fuck I’m cumming!”
And you planted yourself down, taking him in to the hilt, moving forward and back but never up. His hips spasmed with each spurt of cum released inside your slick walls. His tip kissed your cervix deliciously that he was breaking out into a cold sweat. His body vibrated in pleasure as you milked him for everything he was worth.
He licked at his dry lips, panting heavily as you lifted yourself off him. He brought you into his arms hugging you, feeling you scent him but he didn’t stop you.
“Bunny,” he called, voice hoarse due to his moaning and groaning, “Y/n baby look at me.”
You lifted your head, lust still fueling your mind looking at him. He could see it now this was going to be a long night of fucking. Still, he had to be clear.
“I love you so fucking much,” he confessed, “I’m in love with you. I want to be with you forever. I don’t want anyone else but you from now on. Do you hear me?”
You didn’t say anything taking it all in, but he made you look at him by turning you to look at him again instead of his flaccid cock sure you could get him hard again.
His eyes bored into yours, “Will you go out with me? I want to be the only one to take care of you—“
“But I can take care of myself!” You cut in shaking your head. You loved him, but he needed to know you didn’t need him to do everything for you.
He nodded, “I know bunny, I’m trying to say I want to be the only to take care of your heat from now. I want us to be a couple, just you and I.”
::.
request 1
a/n
second hybrid fic ever finally done
y’all I can’t believe I wrote this in a day
so beware it might be complete shit lol
and if it is sorry
if it flops I’m deleting
not sorry
#kpop#jeon jungkook#Jungkook smut#hybrid jungkook smut#kim taehyung#bts#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#park jimin#bts smut
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teddy bear
kim seungmin x fem!reader
description: though you're an adult, your parents decided to have kim seungmin, your ex-best friend, stay with you for the time they are gone. you don't want to be around him unless absolutely necessary. why? because he destroyed your teddy of course.
warnings: reader scared of lightening, mentions of a parent passing, smut, unprotected sex, small oral(male receiving), small dirty talk, doggy style, pull-out method, cuddles.
wc: 3.6k
a/n: I wrote this bc I actually lost my childhood teddy bear for 4 good hours. I was in a panic for the entire time. I somewhat proofread this but ehh. it not the best, but I still like it. :)) also this was my first time trying fake texts so bare with me and the random timetamps.. I would love to make a series with social media au, I just need to figure out what is best. you guys have any tips and apps to use with that, plz inbox me!
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“really mom? I’m an adult, I can stay home by myself.” I whined as I threw myself on the couch. my mom sighed and looked towards my step dad. “honey, we know that, but we are going to be away for three weeks. we don’t want you to alone alone for that long. if it was just till next week it would be find.” dad explains, pushing my feet off the couch. “can I choose who stays with me then?” I asked, sitting up looking at both of them. “yes but only one person. also seungmin is going to be staying in the guest room while we are away.” mom said as she went to the kitchen. what the fuck, hell no. “why is he coming over?” I asked, raising my voice slightly while standing. “y/n, don’t raise your voice.” mom said. “dad!” i said, turning to him. “because he lives right next door, he’ll only be here during the night to make sure you and whoever are good and he’ll be gone in the morning. is that okay?” dad said, patting my shoulder.
I sighed and thought about it. “I guess so. as long as I don’t have to see him during the full day.” I said, giving up. “alright.” dad said, looking at his watch. “we have a flight to catch, so we have to leave now.” dad said, kissing the top of my head. “please try to be nice to seungmin while we are gone.” mom said, grabbing her luggage. “but-” I said, before my mom continued my sentence. “you two don’t get long I know…just try.” she said, before blowing me a kiss and exiting the door with my step dad right behind her. “we’ll send extra cash if you need it for food.” dad said, locking the door. “alright. love you!” I called out. “we love you too.” dad said, closing the door behind him.
I walked back to my room and grabbed my phone from the charger. texting my best friend, lia, to see if she wanted to stay for some of the days, but knowing her- she’s probably not going to respond till a hours later or maybe even tomorrow. I exited from her name and saw seungmin’s name pop up as he sends a text. I sighed and opened the message.
kim seungmin. the young man who as being my neighbor since I was born. we used to be friends, playing together every chance we got. we did everything together, were there for each other. he was there when when my dad passed away, there when my mom met my step dad, there when they got married. the good and bad of our lives, we were together. when we were 13 years old, he did something I think was unforgivable. stealing my stuffed bear that I had as a baby and threw it away. mom thinks I’m still being childish about it, but I couldn’t sleep correctly for months. he took something of mine and got rid of it, he lost everything that day. when he said he he did to my most treasured item. I only text and wiling be around him when I have to, like today…and the 3 weeks he has to be here. 3 weeks, alone, with seungmin, a person I don’t want to even be near for 3 fucking weeks. god, please kill me now. I looked at the time, I had 4 hours till seungmin was going to sadly show up. I guess I can take a nap while I wait. I turned off my lights and climbed into to bed. I turned on my favorite youtuber for background noise on a low volume. I laid my head down and closed my eyes. please let me a stress free three weeks, even if seungmin will be here and I have to work. please.
I woke up to my phone ringing and banging on the door. what the fuck. I grabbed my phone and answered the call without looking at it. “hello.” I said, getting out of bed to head to the front door. “are you gonna let me, it’s starting to fucking rain!” I heard seungmin’s voice say through the phone. I looked at the time, 5:25pm. “have you been outside for 25 minutes?” I asked, taking my sweet time. “no, I got off work, had time to stop at my house to get my mom’s cooking and now I’m here. open the damn door before I catch a cold!” he said, stilling banging on the door. I unlocked the door to see a wet seungmin, making me giggle.
“shut up.” he said, hanging up the call and pushing his way into my home. “rude.” I said, closing the door. “what were you doing anyway?” he said, handing the bag of steaming food. he took off his jacket and hung it up before taking off his shoes. “I’ll set the food up in the kitchen. you go change, wouldn’t want the sweet baby seungmin to get sick.” I said, walking pasted him into the kitchen. I heard he go to the guest room. I took out his mom’s famous cooking. giving each container a big sniff. god, it smells so good! I took two plates out of the cabinet and started filling up my plate.
seungmin entered the kitchen now dressed in dry clothes. I slid him his plate as I went to go eat my food inthe living room. “did you really take most of the chicken!” I heard him yell from the kitchen. “you live with your mother and her cooking, I don’t get to have it often. stop whining.” I called back out to him, stuffing rice in my mouth. seungmin walked in and made a face. “you know you look like a pig when you eat like that.” he said as he sat on the other side of the couch. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. “I’m going to watch my favorite movie.” I said, quickly starting it from the beginning. “really this?” seungmin said, raising one eyebrow. I nodded my head as I felt myself go into a trance while watching the movie.
seungmin had already got done with his food and washed his plate. “you know you don’t have to stay in the lying room with me.” I said, looking over at him. he looked up from his phone and over at me before going back to his phone. I pulled the blanket off me- that I had thrown on my lap in the middle of the movie. taking my plate to the kitchen. as I washed my plate, loud thunder and the sound of lightening made me jump. dropping the plate in the sink as I screamed. “fuck!” I yelled. my soul leaving my body for a few seconds.
“you okay?” a voice asked. I screamed and turned around to see seungmin. “you still scared of bad thunderstorms?” he asked as he leaned on the side of the frame of the archway. “yes. you are going to make fun of me?” I asked as went back to washing my dish. “no, I’m not that low.” he answered before turning around to leave. “but you’re low enough to take a teddy and throw it away.” I muttered under my breath. seungmin stopped, looked at me, before continuing.
I walked back to the living room and saw seungmin wasn’t there anymore. he must of went to bed. I turned off the tv and headed to my room, turning off the lights on my route.
I entered my room and got ready for bed. I looked at my phone and saw a message from lia finally.
I looked up the weather and she was correct. it’s going to be raining for the rest of the night and all of tomorrow. great. I sighed plugging up my phone and got in bed. I laid on my stomach and fell asleep very quickly.
I woke up to a knock on my door. “what!” I said tiredly. the door opened and I saw seungmin. “hey I was letting you know. the roads flooded last night so we go anywhere.” he explained. I sat up and stretched, noticed what time it was. “it’s 5am seungmin, why are you up?.” I said with my eyes half eyes. “I go to work at 6am, but I was just telling you that we’re kind of stuck here unless we go to my house. but you can go back to sleep now.” he said, leaving and closing the door. I laid back down and closed my eyes, falling asleep once again.
I woke up to my alarm going off, piper piper by bts blaring- 9am. “oh my god!” I said, grabbing my phone and turning off the now annoying song. “I’m never going to be able to listen to that song anymore.” I said to myself. I got out of bed and walked out my bed, going to the bathroom.
I heard loud noises coming from the front of the house. what the fuck? I followed the sound into the kitchen and saw seungmin. “now what are you doing?” I asked him. he trying his head to me. “what does it look like?” he sassed back. “I’m cooking breakfast.” he said, turning back to what he was cooking. “what is it? are you going put some in my food?” I asked narrowing my eyes at him. “no. I want to eat dumbass and I’m sure you are too.” he said, rolling his eyes at me. “when will it be done?” I asked, standing on my tippy toes from where I was standing. “now.” he said, turning off the stove and remod-ving the pan. “it’s eggs, pancakes, and toast.” he said. I went and grabbed myself a plate and loaded up my plate.
as I tried to walk out, seungmin took my plate. “thank you.” he said with a smile and went to the living to eat. I stood there and processed what just happened. the little bitch took my plate of food. “dick!” I yelled as I grabbed another plate and filled another plate of food. good thing he made a lot of food. I walked into the living room and turned on a show I wasn’t familiar with. I sat down and began to eat.
soon my plate became abandoned as I interested in the show. “why would he do that? he’s an idiot. she likes you dumbass!” I yelled at tv like the characters were going to hear me. I heard seungmin laughed at me. “you’re more into this than I am.” he laughed. I threw my pillow at him to make him shut up.
we sat on the couch, watching the the show. we were currently on the end of the second season. the sun had started going down. then everything went dark, I jumped out of my seat. in the a blink of an eye the lights came back on. “I think we might lose power.” seungmin stated. “I hope not.” I said, feeling my anxiety build up. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. 5:35pm. “we should charger our phone just in case it does.” seungmin said, standing up from the couch. I nodded my head and walked to my room. I plugged up my phone and walked to the kitchen to make something to eat. I grabbed two cups of ramen and made one for me and seungmin.
I watched as seungmin entered the room. I slid him his cup of ramen as I continued to eat mine on the counter. “thanks.” he said, which I nodded my head to. we ate in silence as the thunder rumbled far in the distance. I jumped off the counter and threw away my now empty cup. “I’m going to my room.” I told seungmin before walking away. I entered my room, looking around the area. I should put some things away so I don’t trip over them if the power does go out. I finished around 6pm. I sat on my bed, playing tetris on my phone.
“stupid game.” I said as I raged quit from miss clicking for the 4th time. “why do I tell have that game on my phone? I don’t even like playing it.” I cried to myself. I got up from bed and changed into fresh comfy clothes. I climbed into bed and went to bed early so i won’t be wake during a storm that was about to happen.
I woke up at 1am to it raining harder than ever outside. I looked around at the window. that looks bad. I watched as a flash of bright light went in front of my window with a loud crack and shake of the house. I screamed as I jumped out of my bed into the floor. I stood up and quickly got back intoto bed. I jumped as my door swung open fast. seungmin looked worried as he entered my room.
“you okay?” he asked, walking into my room and closer to me. I nodded my head and looked towards the window, scared that it would happen again. “y/n.” he said, making me look at him. “you’re crying.” he said. what? I touched my face and felt that my cheeks were wet. “did the lightening scare you that much?” he asked, standing at the edge of my bed next to me. “I mean it was right outside of my window, I’m okay though.” I said to him. he raised an eyebrow, “are you sure?” he asked, fixing the hood at was falling off his head. “yes.” I said, knowing I was lying though my teeth. “okay.” he said, slowly walking out of my room and closing the door.
I thought about my answer and called out to seungmin hoping he would answer and come back, but I don’t think he heard. I laid back down and closing my eyes, hoping to fall back to sleep.
“y/n.” I heard, making my open my eyes. I see seungmin once again in my room “yes seungmin?” I asked. “didn’t you call my name a few seconds ago?” he said, shuffling his feet and hands behind his back. my body wanted to cave in on itself, god I feel a little embarrassed. “yeah I did.” I said, fixing my position in my bed. “I was wondering if you could stay in here with me, just till I fell asleep.” I said, looking past him- not wanting to meet his eyes. “yeah I can.” he said, walking over to the other side of the bed and climbed in. I felt him get close and held my eyes firmer closed and tried to fall asleep. stiff is one word to describe how I looked in bed.
I felt myself slipping into my second sleep, when I felt seungmin wrap his arms around me and placed something in my arms. he didn’t let go, but loosely kept his arms one my waist. “I’m sorry for my actions when we were young.” he said, i could feel his breathe on my neck. I looked down and saw my childhood toy. I wanted to cry to have it back. I hugged it tightly into me. “I didn’t know I had it. some how it ended up in my bag and I found it when I was at a friend’s house. they saw it thought it was mine and took it from me. I got it back a few months ago after I got my new job.” he explained. “I should have told you what actually happened, instead of ruining our friendship into almost nothing.” he said, I turned around and looked at him. “thank you for giving it back.” i said, he nodded. “it was always my plan to get it back and give it back to you.” seungmin said with a smile. I copied his smile, feeling more sleepy as the seconds passed.
“let’s go to sleep, shall we?” he said, getting more comfortable. we both fell asleep, me being in his embrace.
I woke up to seungmin moving around. “seungmin stop moving so much.” I groaned out before turning around. my back facing him. “sorry.” I heard him mumble. sadly my bed wasn’t the biggest(nor the smallest), but I every quickly found out why he was moving around a lot. I turned my head around, “seungmin are you hard?” I asked as I watched his cheeks turn bright red. “it’s not what you think!” he said, freaked out. I bursted out laughing. “really?” I asked, turning my body back around. “yes.” he said more quietly. I sat up and checked the time. 5:30am. “your morning schedule tiring me and I just woke up.” I said, making him laugh a little. I thought about if I should ask the question that was on a tip of my tongue. fuck it.
“did you want some help?” i asked him. “with what?” he quickly asked. I sighed and looked down at his crotch then back up at him. his eyes went wide and jaw dropped. “no I mean I don’t need help. I can handle myself.” he said, looking up at me. “did you want to help me?” he continued. “kinda, but if you can handle yourself, I’m going to go eat some cereal. I said about to get out of bed, but seungmin stopped me. I turned back around. the rising sun, hitting his face from the edges of the blinds. he looked good. “help me out y/n.” he said, making me smile.
“fuck.” seungmin moaned out as popped off his cock. “where did you learn how to do that?” he asked as I moved to sit on him. I shrugged my shoulders with a smile on my lips. I lifted my body up and aligned him with my entrance. slowly sinking down on him, till he completely filled me up. “oh god.” I said, placing my hands on his chest. “shit, you’re so tight.” seungmin said, throwing his head back, hands on my thighs. I rolled my hips, getting used to the size of him. seungmin glided his hands up to my waist and lifting me up. coming back down, completely becoming full once again. the head of cock hitting my g-spot perfectly. I moaned out as seungmin set the pace. I looked at him, sweat beading down his face, eyes closed from pleasure. he looks so hot like this.
I started coming down more roughly as I leaned down to kiss his lips. seungmin wrapped his arms around my back, keeping me in place. thrusting up into me. “oh fuck!” I cried out, digging my head in his neck. “I love how you feel in me.” I said, placing kisses on his neck. seungmin threaded his hand in my hair and pulled my head up. making me keep eye contact with me. “I love how me clench around me pretty.” he said, making me moan. “I’m wanna cum minnie.” I whined out. seungmin shook his head, “not yet pretty.” he said.
seungmin sat up with me still in his embrace. “off.” he commanded, lifting me off of him before I could protest. I watched as he sat up on his knees. “turn around, hand and knees.” he said, jerking off his cock. I quickly did so, arching my back and face laid on the pillow. with one hand he held on hip and lined up, teasing me by rubbing against clit. I moaned, moving my hips back. “how bad do you want to cum y/n?” seungmin said. “so bad. please make me cum minnie.” I pleaded. he pushed back into me with one stroke. slowly pulling out and thrusting back in hard, angling his hips till he found me g-spot again. I nearly screamed as he picked up the pace. I held the bed sheets in my fist tightly. the knot in the pit of my stomach becoming strong. “cum. wanna cum.” I said, trying to look back at him.
seungmin slid his right hand down under on body, meeting my clit. rubbing messy circles. I closed my eyes as my high snapped when hips thrusted a few more times. “oh fuck!” i screamed as I creamed over him. “jesus.” seungmin said, removing his hand to place it back on my hip with his other hand. he pounded into me with sloppy thrusts till he couldn’t handle it no more. seungmin pulled out and jerked off his cock, coming all over my bare back with a tight grip on my hip- most likely it was going to leave bruises.
I relaxed my body from exhaustion as seungmin got up and reached for something on the ground. I didn’t even bother seeing, wanting to take a nap now or have a snack. I couldn’t really wait what I wanted. I felt something by dragged across my back, cleaning his cum off me. once he was done, he placed a kiss on my back. right below my neck. seungmin laid next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I placed my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it was starting to slow down from our activities. seungmin started laughing, I looked up at with tired eyes. “nothing, take a nap.” he said, playing an arm under his head. I placed my head back in it’s place, slowly falling asleep.
“your teddy bear watches us have sex.” I heard him say, making me burst into hard laughter.
#skz#skz imagines#stray kids#stray kids imagines#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz x reader#skz x y/n#kim seungmin smut#kim seungmin imagines#kim seungmin#skz kim seungmin#straykids#stray kids seungmin#skz seungmin#seungmin smut#seungmin
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Million Dollar Man | chapter two
18+
summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.
Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)
word count: 3.4K
a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est
Chapter Two | Masterlist
She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.
Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.
Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.
She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.
All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.
She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.
But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.
He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”
He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”
She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”
He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.
She doesn’t accept it just yet.
It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.
“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”
He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.
Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”
“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”
“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”
Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”
She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”
Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.
It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.
“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.
“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”
“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.
She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”
“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.
“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”
“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”
“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”
“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”
“Yes please,” she smiles.
“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”
“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.
—
They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.
Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.
For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.
He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.
He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.
They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.
“How many gifts is this now?”
“We’re at 5 out of 24.”
She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”
“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.
“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.
The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.
“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”
“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.
“He lets her choose,” he whispers.
“He rescues her,” she corrects him.
“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.
It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”
“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.
“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”
“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.
“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”
She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”
“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”
“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”
She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”
“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”
“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.
“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”
She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”
He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”
“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”
He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.
As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”
He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…
“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.
“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”
With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.
“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”
“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.
“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”
He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”
She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”
He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”
He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.
She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.
“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”
He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”
“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”
Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.
She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.
“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.
“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”
“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.
“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”
“Daddy’s girl.”
He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.
She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.
He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”
“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.
“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”
For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.
“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”
“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.
She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”
“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”
“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.
“Only if you let me wash the front too?”
She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.
Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.
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Sugar daddy fic (Some tags didn't work)
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Can I request dad!johnny? he cheated with y/n so they broke up and 3 yrs later he saw y/n with their son (y/n a single mom) but johnny isnt still aware of it that it’s his kid? Angst-fluff maybe? Thank you!
get your popcorns ready, this is gonna be a long story.
genre: angst, fluff
—
You and your son were waiting in line for some ice cream, he heard the ice cream truck and asked to get some, of course you agreed since it was so hot outside. “Hello,” you greeted the man in the ice cream truck. “Hi, what can I get for you today?” He asks and you hum. “I think I’ll get vanilla. What do you want, baby?” You ask your three year old. “Can I get the brown one?”
The man chuckles and nods before heading back into his truck to get the ice creams. “Okay, here you two are! It’ll be five bucks.” You hand the man a five dollar bill before bidding your goodbyes.
“Y/n?” You turn your head to the direction where your name was called. “Oh, Mark? Taeil?” You’re shocked to see your olds friends standing in line, waiting to order their ice creams. “So it is you! Hyung, you owe me twenty bucks,” Taeil rolls his eyes at the youngster and nods.
“Anyways, how’ve you been? It’s been so long!” The young boy cheers. “I’ve—,” you feel your dress get tugged on. “Mommy, who are they?” Your son asks, hiding behind you. “These.. um,” you look back at Mark and taeil. “They are my friends from a long time ago.” You smile at the two men in front of you.
“Wait, your a mom now? Wow!” Mark covers his mouth in shock. “Mark, youre too loud.” Taeil tells him, Mark apologizes and lowers his voice. “Uh, yeah.. I’m a mom now.” Mark crouches down and holds a fit out to your son. “Hi, buddy! I’m mark!” Your son tilts to the side to look at Mark. He looks up at you who just smiles down at him. “I’m Sungchan.” Your son quietly introduces himself and hi-fives Marks fist.
“Nice to meet you, sungchan.” Mark giggles at the three year olds shyness. “Where are you guys off to?” Taeil asks while Mark tried to start a conversation with the three year old. “Just back to the park, what about you guys?” You point to the park that had no people. “Well, we came here to get some ice cream for us and the others, so we’re headed back.. over there.”
He points to a place behind the cars that were all parked and lined up. “Oh, who’s all over there with you guys? Maybe I’ll come with and say hello to them.” You smile at him, thinking about the others that you hadn’t seen either. “Well, there’s taeyong, Jeno, yuta, Doyoung, and Johnny.” He lists them out, you pause at the last name.
“O—oh, um, actually I think me and Sungchan are just gonna head home after this.” You hug Sungchan to your leg. “Oh, well. Here, how about we swap numbers so you can come over tonight? I mean, we are throwing a little party.” You think about it, what could go wrong with reuniting with some old friends?
“Sure! I mean, it’s been years since we’ve all talked and seen each other, so why not?” He laughs a little and pulls his phone out. You and him swap numbers before you and Sungchan left home.
Mark and Taeil walk back to the little group with ice cream cones in their hands. “Okay, take your ice creams! Me and Taeil have to tell you guys who we just met.” They all take their ice cream and wait for Mark to continue.
“We bumped into y/n at the ice cream truck, she looks better than ever!” Mark announces with a giggle.
——
Later that night, Taeil had texted you, telling you to come over for a bit. You got worried and asked if you could bring Sungchan, he said yes and that he didn’t mind.
You got Sungchan out of the car and knocked on the door. The door swings open and you see Mark at the door. “Aye! You actually came!” He gasps when he sees the three year old standing besides you. “Ahh! Sungchan!” He giggles and starts to jump. “Hi, Mark.” You giggle at how excited he was to see your son.
Mark shuts the door after letting the two of you in. “Are you hungry? Yeah, okay. Why don’t you go play with uncle Mark while mommy grabs you some food, yeah?” Your son nods and looks up at Mark. “Let’s go!” Sungchan grabs Marks hand and allows Mark to take him to the basement.
You sigh and start looking around for the kitchen. “Oh,” you find the kitchen filled with food that they had just barbecued. You hum and start looking for plates, paper plates are sitting on the counter which you grabbed. You filled with plate up with some chicken and rice. You reheat the cold food and while waiting a voice scares you.
“Y/n?” Oh, you knew that voice, you knew it well.
You turned around to see your ex lover standing in shock by the door frame. “Johnny, hi.” You inhale sharply. “Is.. is that your kid?” He points behind him.
- few moments ago -
Johnny sighs and opens the bathroom door. “Yo! Watch out, man!” Mark yells and pushes the tall man back into the bathroom. “Woah, who’s kid is that?” Johnny asks pointing to the three year old.
“Mhm.” You nod confirming his question. “Oh, well, how’ve you been—?”
beep, beep, beep.
The microwave saves the awkward moment. “I’ve been good, how about you?” You grab the food out of the microwave. “I’ve been.. good too.” He nods and tucks his hands in his pockets. “That’s good. Can you show me where the basement is?” He nods and gestures you to follow him.
Entering the basement, you could see your son playing with Mark. “Oh, my god! Y/n? It’s been so long!” Jungwoo gasps and sits up, running over to you and hugging you. “Hi Jungwoo!” You giggle and pst his back as he swayed you back and forth. “Gosh! So that baby must be yours, huh?” You nod and scrunch your face up. “Okay, well I see you have a plate of food so, go on.”
You walk over to Mark and Sungchan who are playing with some action figures. “Channie, come eat food.” You sit down and place the plate down. “Okay, mommy.” He crawls over to you and sits in front of you. “Here, ahh.” You open your mouth and so does he. “Omm, nom nom nom.” Your son giggles at your food noises.
——
After feeding your son, your son got tired and wanted to go home. “Hey guys, me and Sungchan are gonna head home. He’s getting really tired and cranky.” The guys frown and whine, not wanting you to leave just yet. “I’ll see you guys next time, okay?” Mark walks you to your car with Sungchan in his arms.
“Okay, bye y/n. Drive safe, alright?” You giggle and nod. “I’m not that bad of a driver, Mark. But yes, don’t worry. Goodnight Mark, don’t drink too much.” He laughs and nods. “Okay, mom,” he jokes, “goodbye channie, see you soon! Bye buddy!” He waves the little boy off before running back inside as you drove off.
——
For days your son had begged you nonstop if he could spend the night at Marks, and honestly, you didn’t know if Mark would be up for it or if he would be able to take care of your three year old. “Okay, I’ll call uncle Mark to see if he lets, okay?” The three year old cheers and nods.
You pick up your phone and start calling Mark.
“Hey, what’s up y/n?” The man sounded so lively. “Hi Mark, can I ask you something?” The boy nods and hums. “Okay, so lately Sungchan had been asking and begging for me to let him sleep at your place, so is it alright if Sungchan sleeps at your place? For like, a day?”
The man on the other line freaks. “Dude, of course! Send me your address I’ll come pick him up.” You giggle at his excitement, him and Sungchan are growing up as best friends. “Alright, ill send it.” The other line goes silent, bitch hung up.
“Channie! Go get ready! Uncle Mark is coming to pick you up!” The little boy cheers and runs into his room, quickly packing some of his toys and some clothes.
“Im ready, mommy!” He says with his backpack on and his shoes on the wrong way. “Good job, baby! Let’s go wait for uncle Mark outside, yeah?” He nods and runs towards the front door.
You and him are outside, youre sitting on the steps while he sat next to you. “It’s a pretty day, isn’t it?” Your son nods and looks at the flowers that were planted by the big tree in front of your house, it had a swing on it from your childhood.
A car pulls up and you grab Sungchan hand. “Oh, it’s uncle mark.” You let his hand go as he slowly walks down the stairs and then runs to his uncle. “Uncle Mark!” He jumps into the mans arms and makes the older man giggle. “Hey buddy!” He lifts up the three year old and looks over at you, who is walking towards them.
“Hey Mark, take good care of my baby, okay? He’s the only one I’m having.” Mark and you laugh, but soon after he nods. “Hey y/n?” You look in the car to see Johnny sitting in the passenger seat. “Oh, hey Johnny, didn’t see you.” He slightly laughs and then looks back in his lap. “Alright, ready to go, buddy?” The three year old nods.
“You go and be good, okay? If someone tells me you were being a bad boy, then you don’t get to go back to uncle Marks, got it?” The little on nods. “Okay, give mommy a kiss.” You turn your head and point to your cheek. You pull away when you feel his little lips press against it. “Okay, bye bye, baby.” You ruffle his hair. “Bye mommy!”
——
Later that night, you had ran to that store for some food and bumped into someone very attractive. You and him swapped numbers and starts going on dates after that. While on those dates, Mark would babysit for you, you offered to pay him for every time he watch your son but he didn’t accept it.
Tonight was a rainy night, you and jaehyun couldn’t go on a date so you both decided to stay in with Sungchan.
- a little recap of their night -
“Happy 8 month anniversary, babe.” Jaehyun says and clinks his wine glass with yours. “Happy 8 months, baby.” You take a small swig. “Mommy, happy happy day.” Sungchan holds up his cup of apple juice. “Aww, happy happy day, baby.” You giggled and clinked your cup with his.
——
It was so late and the rain made the three of you guys so sleepy, so the three of you ended up sleeping early.
A sudden faint knock could be heard from the living room. You sit up frantically, another knock. “Who the f.. it’s so late..” you groan and get out of bed, making your way down to the front door with a bat in your hand.
“Johnny?” You see Johnny standing in front of your door all soaked, he looked.. intoxicated. “Y/n..” he slurred and wobbled, he couldn’t even hold himself up. “Johnny, it’s late, what are you doing in front of my door at this time?” He laughs but it sounded broken. “I.. I miss you so much..”
he was just drunk talking, you said to yourself.
“Johnny, should I call Mark—?” He quickly shakes his head. “No, please don’t. If you do then he’ll yell at me.” You sigh, the cold breeze making your legs shiver. “I just miss you so much, I miss holding you at night, I miss the way you kissed me, please just take me back—“ you stopped his rambling, his drunk rambling.
“No, johnny, you don’t get to do this! I’ve finally healed after 4 years of our break up. I was so heartbroken that you cheated on me with some random chick from the bar. I was so hurt that you hid it from me and that I had to find out from Renjun and Chenle. This ain’t fair, johnny!” He laughs and nods. “He’s my son, isn’t he?” Great, a new topic.
“So what if he is? It doesn’t matter anymore, you were never in the picture anyway so why does it matter?” He looks up at you. “He’s my son—“ you shake your head. “No he isn’t, he isn’t. He may have your blood but he isn’t your son.” Silence took over, all that could be heard was the raining showering. “Just leave, please? I don’t want to ever see you again.” He steps closer with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Y/n, please let’s just talk—“ the door opens wider. “She said to leave.” Johnny looks at the man besides you and then back at you. “Alright, I’m sorry..” Johnny turns back around and walks out of your property.
Jaehyun closes the door shut and is immediately taken into your embrace. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” He shakes his hand and taps on your thigh, telling you to jump, so you do. “It’s okay, let’s just go back to bed.” He says carrying you back up to your room.
————
a/n: i got really tired and confused at the end. hopefully you can see where i ran out of words and ideas for this story. and by confused i mean like, not knowing anymore words, not knowing what to write and etc. hopefully i can fix this and make it better because it isn’t really that good. I’ll try my best next time! :)
#johnny angst#nct johnny#johnny seo#johnny suh#johnny smut#nct dad au#nct x reader#nct angst#nct fluff#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct 127#nct imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop fluff#kpop imagines#kpop smut#kpop angst
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Akrasia.
Happy Birthday To the Golden Maknae.
Here’s a little treat in lieu of Jungkook’s 24th Birthday!!!
Canon Compliant.
Jungkook x OC
Word Count : 10K.
Genre : Mild Angst. ( Happy'Ending) Jungkook X OC
Akrasia (noun)
PHILOSOPHY the state of mind in which someone acts against their better judgement through weakness of will.
Getting involved with someone like Jungkook is a bad idea. Do you even realize who he is? How much he’s worth? He’s easily one of the richest men in the country . He’s loved by everyone.
I wrapped the coat around myself, tighter. Everything that Lee Jiae had said was true. She was a popular idol . Someone who would actually make a good match for the Jeon Jungkook.
But even Jiae balked at the idea of going anywhere near someone like him.
Career suicide, she had said firmly. That would be career suicide, Areum. He has fangirls from all over the world. Billions of them. They will dig so deep into my past, find the most innocent of things and twist and turn it and the next thing I know, I’m being kicked out of my band, out of the company and on the streets. I don’t want that. And neither should you.
I shivered a bit. No, I thought honestly. I didn’t want that either. I was far from successful, just an up and coming soloist , with a very very niche fanbase. I did sell a lot of records and I made enough money to live comfortably but I was not a mainstream celebrity. I didn’t register on people’s radar because I stayed far away from the spotlight.
There was something about social media that made it a terrifying thing to me. It was so abstract and unreal and yet…it seemed almost like a sentient being.
A powerful sentient being that could potentially destroy my whole life.
It scared me.
And while Jungkook and BTS had conquered that particular monster, had leashed and saddled the beast and made it their own personal pet…. I didn’t want anything to do with that.
I don’t want that, I told myself firmly. I really don’t want that. I want to stay this way… make music I love… read the few dozen fan handwritten fan letters I received everyday, make the occasional appearance on a magazine cover and then just quietly retreat into my studio. I want this. And if I go anywhere near Jeon Jungkook, I’ll lose this. I’ll lose all of this.
My phone buzzed and I jumped, glancing around nervously. The late October wind was cold but not biting. Winter would come but not for a while. And yet my skin chilled in apprehension. I always felt guilty, picking up one of his calls in public. It felt like I was being watched, like everyone could hear me, on the phone …Could hear who I was talking to.
“Hello.” I whispered nervously, eyes flitting around to find a secluded spot in the park. It was early in the morning, still an hour away from sunrise and I quickly hopped over a small hedgerow and moved into a wooded area, away from the main path that had the occasional cyclist or jogger.
“You didn’t come.” His voice was honey, the way it dripped into my senses and made my breath catch. And yet it was the undercurrent of disappointment that tugged at my heart. Made guilt churn inside me in rapid little currents.
“Yes. Sorry.” I said quietly, picking my way past a few bushes to a bench a little way into the woods. It was rusty and damp because no one came here , and the darkness was absolute, only faintly broken by the dim glow of the streetlights hundred yards away. I settled into the bench nonetheless.
“Areum…. Don’t do this to me.” Jungkook said brokenly and I exhaled.
“I’m not doing anything. I’m being smart. And you should be too. You’re romanticizing something that was just…it was just a conversation. We had a conversation . That’s all that happened.” I said desperately. It was something I’d told myself over an over, these past few weeks. Weeks of avoiding his texts, of ignoring his calls.
Calls from his hyungdeul.
That had given me a whole heart attack.
“You’re just going to ignore me then? Toss my feelings away like they don’t matter?” He asked quietly and my heart clenched.
“You …” I shook my head.” You need to understand something. I’m not going to do this. I can’t afford to. I told you already Jungkook…we spent one evening talking..that’s it…we’re not dating..we don’t know each other well enough for you to be saying that you have feelings for me-“
“And I told you I don’t fucking care. “ He said sharply. “ One day… One hour…who cares? I believe in soulmates. Call me foolish and dumb but I do and when I saw you I felt that. And I know you felt it too.”
My mind flashed back to that evening. It was a private birthday party for a mutual friend. Barely a dozen of us had attended and Jungkook had been sneaking glances at me all evening, completely oblivious to the ay every woman in the room had their gaze glued on him. The party hadn’t been my thing at all and I’d sneaked away to the private terrace, accessible only through a rickety old fire escape and to my utter shock he had followed me up there.
The stars had been exceptionally bright that night, but with Jungkook sitting on the tiled roof next to me, gazing at me with all that adoration, his doe eyes had seemed to hold more of them than the night sky.
“What do you want, Jungkook?” I asked quietly.
“I want you. I know you want me. We …we understand each other. I want the same things you do. Do you even fucking realize how rare that is? To find someone who shares the same thoughts, the same dreams as you do? Who looks at the world the way you do… I… I am not foolish enough to think that there’s another girl out there who could connect to me the way you do. You call that a conversation…just a conversation…. Did you forget what kind of a conversation it was?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three weeks ago
The party had barely started and I was already itching to run home. There was a particular song lyric , stuck in my head like a loop and I wanted to put it on paper as soon as possible. I had this thing where seeing something on print helped me to elaborate on an idea. Directed my train of thought in that particular direction if you willed.
Mingyu was walking around, talking to his friends and making them laugh with his witty banter but I didn’t miss the way he shot me little glances. I gave him a quick thumbs up though, to let him know I was okay. He was a childhood friend, one of the few people I’d stayed in touch with through the years. And of course, being in the same industry meant a lot of shared interests.
I moved to the side bar with the drinks and appetizers, ordering myself a diet coke before hopping onto one of the stools. I watched the dozen or so people here….His bandmates, some other idols. I recognized Yugyeom from GOT7. They were all dressed in dressy casuals : flashy shirts and tight jeans and racy little dresses and I felt out of place in my long jean skirt and tasseled leather jacket.
Sighing, I turned back to my drink when a commotion near the door made me look up.
I felt my eyes widen when I saw who it was.
The Jeon Jungkook. From BTS.
I stared at him as did pretty much every person in the room. Jungkook was easily one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen in my life, tall and just…big. I stared at the broad shoulders, the huge arms and the taut line of his abdomen, tapering into a narrow waist and long, long legs with muscular thighs. He was wearing a black shirt, unbuttoned all the way to his chest and skinny blue jeans with black boots.
I smiled, genuinely awed. Jungkook looked every bit like the untouchable superstar he was and I considered that the party hadn’t been a waste after all. The chances of me running into someone like that in person were pretty slim.
Almost at once he was surrounded and I watched as his ears turned red, gaze shifting away and an almost soft shyness in the way he bowed politely . A hesitation to be put on the spot but also a need to stay polite , probably. Laughing a bit , I watched him some more and then his gaze lifted to mine. To my surprise, his eyes went wide in what was clearly recognition.
What.
I watched as he quickly bowed and said something to the people around him before picking his way to me. My entire body went taut with surprise.
“Lee Areum ssi…” He stuttered, eyes wide and I could only gape. “ I’m a huge fan.”
I blinked.
What.
What.
“You know who I am?” I asked , mildly horrified and he laughed nervously, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his palm across his nose before laughing a little.
“Your voice is just… something about your songs…they help me sleep when I’m too exhausted to relax.” He said softly and I felt warmth pool inside me.
“Too exhausted too sleep. That doesn’t sounf good...”
Jungkook chuckled.
“Its not. It usually happens when we’re preparing for a comeback. It different with concerts you know…we’re exhausted because we’ve been running around …singing…its all physical…mostly. And that’s easy to brush aside and sleep. But comebacks…there’s that nervousness. The worry that things may not be as good as they were. Constantly having to keep up to standards. “ He shook his head. “ it can get exhausting.”
It was something deep and oddly tragic and I was stunned that he’d shared something so… personal. To a literal stranger. But the urge to soothe..to comfort and reassure him in some way was over powering.
Instinctively, I leaned closer and lightly touched his forearm .
“But you are the standard, now, Jungkook ssi. What BTS has done, others can only dream of reaching. You’ve brought this….utopian idea that you can love yourself just the way you are… and that’s amazing. I understand the need to meet expectation but I think you’ve earned the right to sleep without being burdened by them.”
Jungkook didn’t reply, staring into my eyes and I felt my pulse kick up a notch, my eyes taking in the beautiful features and my throat went dry when his gaze dropped to where my fingers lightly brushed the soft fabric of his shirt sleeve.
“Oppa…Let’s dance.” A shrill voice behind him made us both jump and I quickly pulled my hand away. Panicking, I turned away from him fully, ducking my head so my hair could cover my face. There was a dull roaring in my head, making it hard to hear what he was saying but a second later he moved away from the bar and I exhaled sharply.
Shaking I turned back to my drink.
Another twenty minutes of trying to avoid looking at Jungkook, I gave up. This wasn’t my kind of place at all and after a quick word with Mingyu, I moved to the small balcony in the side, desperate for some fresh air. But the moment I stepped out, my eyes fell on the rickety ladder like stairs, rusty and clearly a death trap. I quickly moved to the ledge and peered up at the roof. It was a little inclined but nothing dangerous. And there was a barricade that would break my fall, just in case I slipped.
Thrilled at the prospect of doing something that was both foolish and fancy free, I quickly, climbed on to the ladder, climbing all the way over to the top and throwing my legs over the iron railing before carefully walking overt to the center of the roof. Grinning to myself, I settled on the slightly damp tiles.
“You’re lucky the ladder didn’t break .” Jungkook’s voice made me yelp and I stared as he quickly jumped over the railing himself, grinning and wiping his hands on his thighs.
“Oh my god, people are going to find us here!” I hissed, terrified and he laughed.
“Don’t worry. I told them I’m going home.”
“You lied?” I shook my head in disbelief and Jungkook hummed.
“Did I?” He pretended to think. “ Doesn’t feel like I did.”
It took me a few seconds for the implication to sink in.
I looked away, blushing a bit.
“Did I come on too strong?” He moved to sit next to me, just a foot away.
I shook my head.
“No. I’m just.. I didn’t expect you to know me. We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”
“There’s a very cliché line in my head about how you’ve been running in circles in my head for a long time but I’ll save that for our first date.” He said with a laugh and I blushed deeper.
“Date?” I shook my head, “ That’s not funny.”
“Good. Because it wasn’t a joke. Let me take you out to dinner sometime.”
I stared at him, trying to look for the punchline because even if he denied it, it was still laughable. The mere idea of it.
“Don’t turn me down Areum ssi.” He said softly and I swallowed.
“I won’t if you take it back.” I said quietly.
He sighed.
“Then…when you sang about wanting to give love a chance…wanting to free fall for once without worrying about the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, wanting to soar into the sky without thinking of the ropes trying to tether you to the ground….were you joking?”
I gaped at him.
“that’s.. those are… Those are lines from before my debut.” I said shakily.
“Like I said… I’ve been a fan for a long time.” Jungkook whispered.
The night was magical. Cool and refreshing and the night sky was resplendent, the lack of clouds offering a stellar view of the stars and yet, I found myself drawn to the galaxies swirling in his doe eyes. The strong nose and the cherry red lips, now being worried between slightly large front teeth as he stared at me with all the nervousness of a young boy.
But he wasn’t a boy. He was a man.
And this wasn’t a love song.
This was real life.
“Free falling is fun when you don’t know what you’re falling into. But when you do know that there’s a lot of pain at the end of the fall, its not something you want to experience.”
“Areum…”
“I’m flattered.” I said quickly. “ Beyond flattered…really. But… I can’t.”
“Okay. But don’t leave. Stay here with me.. for a while. Let’s talk.” He said quickly.
Jungkook was handsome and the night was still young. This maybe the last time I would ever see him and I was honest. It was flattering, receiving attention from someone like that.
I hesitated before sighing and nodding.
“Okay…let’s talk.” I smiled, throwing caution to the winds.
And talk we did. About everything and nothing. As the night grew darker, Jungkook relaxed next to me, laughing as he shared anecdotes about his members, about his family, about his brother. And then naturally about how successful they were these days and Jungkook told me that there was always a downside to fame but he enjoyed the love he received. That he loved his fans for how they treated him and his brothers.
“Fame comes with a price but it’s a small price to pay…being loved for what I do..being accepted the way I am…it feels good.” He said quietly.
“It’s not always that way though.” I pointed out honestly. “ You guys are … I won’t say lucky because you’ve definitely worked hard but you’ve been more fortunate than the rest. Sometimes the spotlight can be a terrifying place to be.”
“you forget that we were once one of the most hated idols in the country..” He laughed. “ Trust me I know.”
“I didn’t know about you guys till you got on the Billboard. And you’re an amazing singer as well.” I said softly.
He grinned , playing with the bracelets on his wrist.
“Thank you.” He said sweetly.
We stayed quiet for a few seconds, staring up at the sky.
“I’ve never been attracted to fame.” I told him honestly.” Of course it holds its charms I suppose but I’ve always preferred the quiet of being obscure, you know. Like this secret that only a few get to learn in their lifetime.” I laughed. “ A hidden treasure maybe? Its why I started a Youtube channel instead of auditioning. Because only people who genuinely liked my music would get more of me. ” I smiled.
Jungkook hummed.
“When you first started singing your own songs on your YouTube channel? It was kind of around the same time we won our first daesang…” He smiled. “ In the MMA.”
“Oh…Really?” I asked surprised. That was nearly five years ago.
“Yeah. And till then..it was just your voice that I got to hear. You talked a bit but mostly it was just you covering someone else’s songs. And well, after we won the daesang I felt …lonely? Kind of? Scared maybe. And then you sang, ‘ White Dove’ a couple of days later and the lyrics…they just resonated with me you know. It made me feel like I knew you… Like you were a friend.”
I swallowed.
“I..thank you.” I whispered quietly, staring at my hands.
“And when you refused to sign with SM or YG. You also refused to monetize your videos on Youtube. You said your voice was your gift and you didn’t want to make money from something you’d received for free yourself. That …I loved that.”
“You’re like that too. You post your covers and songs on soundcloud for free as well.” I said quietly and he smiled.
“Like I said…we have a lot in common.” He smiled.
I smiled, shaking my head.
“I envy you.” He said quietly and I glanced at him.
“Hmm?”
“You’re just… You’re so untouched by all this. By me. It may sound incredibly narcissistic but people swoon when they see me for the first time but…you’re just you…. And that just makes me remember that you’re amazing and beautiful and you have such beautiful mind and you’re just… you’re so far out of my league. You’re so content with what you have and I wish I could be that way….But I …I can’t help but be greedy.”
“Greedy?”
“To do more. To want more. I know I should be happy that I even got to meet you . I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime in these two hours , sitting here talking to you. But I’m still greedy for more.” He stared at me with an intensity that was electric.
“More what?” I laughed.
“More of this. More of you. More of you and me together. More of us.”
“Us?” I laughed, shaking my head. “ There’s no us , Mr. Jungkook . you need to forget about that.”
“ I don’t think I can.” He said suddenly.
I felt the smile fade from my face.
“Jungkook.”
“Your song … Utopia… where you write about your idea of the perfect world. I… I loved it.” He said shakily.
“Jungkook , wait…”
“All of these days, when I listened to your songs, I would make it personal.. It would be about how those words applied to my life but with Utopia… that world you talk about …where you can be yourself, where you can sing whatever you want, be whoever you want…. When I heard that song…it became about you. About us.. I… that world you dream of.. I want to give that to you.”
My jaw dropped and I exhaled in disbelief.
“Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Your fans…our companies… Everyone will lose their minds.” I whispered, horrified.
He nodded.
“I know. I know I shouldn’t ask you this. Because it goes against my better judgement. But I can’t help. I still want to choose this. Choose you. So if there’s a word for that.. That is how I feel.”
“I.. I should go.” I said nervously, making to move but he reached out an gently gripped my wrist.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He asked quietly and I shook my head.
“No.. I don’t.” I said quietly.
“Good. Because neither do I. But I do believe in people who can understand you better than anyone else can. Just give me a chance. One date.”
I stayed quiet staring at my feet. There was so much to consider but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and say no. He looked so hopeful.
“I’m busy for a couple of weeks. But there’s a beautiful terrace restaurant in Itaewon that I know. We’ll have complete privacy . I’ll get my chauffeur to pick you up. No one ill know. I just want to spend some time with you over dinner and if you have a good time….. we can meet again.”
And then what?
“I…I’ll try. But I can’t promise anything.“ I said honestly.
“That’s good enough for me. Can I have your number at least?” He asked finally.
I nodded and quietly put it into his phone.
“I’ll make the reservation and send you the details. And Areum?”
I glanced up at him.
“I’ve been free falling since I met you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.
“I do.” I said quietly. “ I do remember.”
“I haven’t stopped falling. I keep listening to your songs on loop… Because I can’t bear the thought of being away from you , of not being connected to you in some way…”
“You’re so .. you’re so intense.” I whispered shakily and he laughed.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry. It’s just the way I am… I’m here you know. The restaurant I told you about. And my chauffeur is at your home. But he told me he couldn’t find you. It’s the middle of the night . where are you?”
I sighed.
“In the park opposite my house.”
Jungkook didn’t respond for a second.
“Do you want me to ask him to leave?” He asked quietly.
I took a deep breath.
“ Akrasia. “ I breathed out nervously.
“What…”
“its when someone makes a decision…against their better judgement.” I laughed nervously. “When we had that conversation , you asked me if there was a word for it. For acting against your better judgement. Akrasia is the word you’re looking for .”
He stayed quiet on the other end.
“Okay.” He said finally. “ Well, are you going to be akratic with me?” he said finally.
“Ask your driver to leave for now. And come meet me in my apartment tomorrow. I’ll make you dinner.”
Jungkook didn’t respond.
“That way we’ll have more privacy.” I said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Jungkook was a lot of pain. Just as I’d anticipated. It was sitting by and watching him work himself down to the bone. It was watching people throw themselves at him and not being able to say a word. To the world he was single. And the number of women who called and hounded him was unnatural.
And he worked so hard that my heart ached for him.
One night, he missed dinner and I couldn’t reach him on the phone. I stayed up , sitting on my bed, waiting.
He came back at exactly at three in the morning. He didn't turn on the light but the moonlight through the window was sufficient to let me know that he looked terrible. i watched him shrug out of his jacket, leaning against the table , long legs crossed and crisp white shirt unbuttoned. He tugged at his tie with a sort of tired , half hearted gesture and i smiled.
i watched him for sometime, seeing him shrug out of his shirt and change into a simple white t shirt. He moved with a sort of graceful strength. Like every single cell of his body had the same confidence that he did.
It was like a dream, i realized as another dull ache of pain twisted my heart. It was like i'd slept and woken up in someone else's dream. A dream where it was okay for me to look at him and feel things for him , without fighting to convince herself that it was dangerous. That it was going to end in heartbreak.
As i watched him prepare for bed, i wondered when I had started falling so hard.
The sound of the door closing, made me look up , shaken out of my thoughts. Jungkook was locking the door behind him.
When he moved to the bed, i decided to let him know that i was awake.
"You're back?" i said softly.
He hesitated, clearly startled , before smiling at me. It was a weak smile, one that practically screamed exhaustion and i sat up straighter, watching as he moved to me side and gently stroked me hair.
"Why aren't you asleep?" He smiled.
"I was waiting for you." i said honestly holding my hand out and he took it, kissing it obediently.
"you'll have to wait longer, I'm afraid. I have a meeting tomorrow morning with PDnim and I still haven't prepped for it. I need to get an hour's sleep and get back to work. " Up close he looked so tired that i felt my heart clench in panic.
"You don't look good." i said, alarmed as i realized that his skin had a distinctively grayish tinge to it.
"Comeback times are always that way. Never good for my health." He said teasingly. He checked his phone messages before turning to me and smiling.
"I see you've been cutting back on the pain killers... are you feeling better than?" He asked. I’d been down with some menstrual cramps earlier and I was touched that he remembered, even in the mess of his schedule.
"I wish you wouldn't change the topic everytime I try to show concern for you." i said , a little bit annoyed. He grinned and touched my cheek with his forefinger.
"Just the fact that you are concerned is enough for me . anything more and I might die of happiness. you don't want that do you?" He winked.
Deciding that it was impossible to talk with the man, i asked him if he wanted something to drink.
He shook his head and climbed in next to me but before laying down, he turned to me.
He hesitated.
"Will you lend me your shoulder for the night?" He said softly , placing his hand there.
i sighed as he leaned against me . His skin felt warm against me, his hair lightly tickling me cheekbones and i threaded me finger through the silky strands.
In just a few seconds, he was fast asleep.
I stayed awake, watching the room grow steadily brighter, the weak winter sun gently finding its way into the room , much like the way the man in my arms was gently finding his way into my heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We should get a house, don't you think?" i said two months later, sitting up in bed , eating dinner while i watched him work on his files. He'd placed the desk in the far corner of the room, giving me the perfect view. And i was beginning to enjoy it a lot more than the one i could see out the window.
" A house? " Jungkook stopped and looked up. " You want to live with me ? Just the two of us?" He smiled.
Well, when he put it that way. I balked and ducked my head.
"It's too soon isn't it..I'm sorry I don't know why I..."
"What kind of a house would you prefer? Flat? Penthouse? Apartment? Duplex? Tell me....I'll get you the listings and you can pick out the ones you like . When you get better we can go pick one out." He grinned at me and i relaxed against the pillows , while he went back to his files.
"I read something online…” i said casually . He didn't look up, merely humming to acknowledge that he'd heard me.
"Did you date Lee Hyeri ?" i finally said. He stopped and looked at me.
"Yes. Many months ago. I broke up with her because I wasn’t feeling anything serious and I didn’t want to lead her one. She didn’t take it very well. ." He said softly, moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge. As was his habit, he reached for my hand, holding it in his and tracing circles with his thumb.
“She called me.” I said quietly and he stiffened.
“Shit.”
I laughed.
“She wanted to meet me . Wanted to talk about something although I have an idea what. I’m not going to indulge her though.”
“If she calls again, you should tell her that her obsession is bordering on stalking and I’m on the verge of getting a restraining order. She turned up at my studio too. Went on an on about how I broke her heart and cheated on her . ”
i hesitated , looking away from him and smiling.
"I don't know . Should I?" i shook my head. i hesitated, pulling my hand away from him. "What else did she say?" i said suddenly, remembering how angry she had sounded on the phone.
"Nothing, you need to worry about. Are you done with this? Shall I clean it up?" He reached for my dinner tray and i grabbed his wrist.
"where are you going? You should tell me what she said." i protested, but he gently pried my fingers off before dropping a kiss on me forehead .
"And You should tell me when you're going to start staying over at my apartment.. It's going to snow in a few days. Or so they say. I thought you might like to enjoy the first snow with me..." He smiled .
I took the subtle hint to drop the subject.
"You're being too wonderful. It makes my heart ache." i snuggled into my bed and pouted at him. He laughed at that.
"Take rest. I have a meeting right now. I'll be back late so you should sleep."
I watched him leave, feeling oddly bereft. I was growing to love him deeply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As with every couple in the world, our fights were often over the silliest things.
"You're still angry." I said casually, watching him work on his documents, the low burning desk light setting his features in sharp relief. He looked at me for a second and shook his head.
"I'm not angry , Areum. I'm busy. There is a difference." He said with a sigh, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye. I watched the gesture and sat up straighter in bed, leaning over the side to stare at the clock there. It read 1.15 Am.
"It's snowing." I said softly, getting one my knees and peering out the windows. Through the haze of moonlight, I watched the small flakes drift down over the neatly cut hedgerows, making each segment of the garden look like neat cut slices of cake with vanilla cream frosting. I grinned at the little wisps of cotton white snow, clinging to each little branch on the trees and felt my heart swell with joy.
"I suppose you're too busy to make good on your promise." I said naughtily, peering over my shoulder to glance at him.
"Promise?"
"That you'll walk with me , in the first snow." I said, turning around and getting out of bed, slipping my feet into my fur slippers. I watched him fight with himself , the emotions warring across his handsome face and held my breath.
finally he sighed and stood up. I tried to keep the triumphant grin off my face and failed miserably. I felt awful, because deep down I had known that no matter how angry or upset he was, Jungkook would never break a promise. And I'd worded my request that way, just to take advantage of that little chink of honor that he always lived by.
"Alright then. Let's go take a walk in the first snow." He said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You love snow."
"How did you know that?" I said surprised, lightly grabbing the low lying branch till it showered both of us with soft white flakes.
"You make these little sounds , everytime you see snow. I've noticed it from the time we met." Jungkook grinned .
I laughed and turned away. I felt like I was standing in the middle of a fairytale, the white landscape making me feel like some exotic Ice Queen. I walked ahead of him, running a few steps till I was about ten feet ahead of him. I turned around, facing him as I walked backwards. He laughed at that.
"Be careful. The snow looks soft but the fall will hurt." He warned me, putting his hands in his pockets and narrowing his shoulders to fight the chill. I smiled and shook my head.
"I want to look at you and make sure that you're not angry with me anymore." I said, enjoying the way he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"I'm not angry. I told you that."
"Yes. You did. But i didn't tell you I'm sorry, did I?" I said softly, stopping in my tracks and watching as he drew closer. Jungkook gave me a curious glance, walking slowly till he was just in front of me.
"I'm sorry I said I'll leave you." I said honestly. He looked surprised but smiled nonetheless.
"Duly noted." He bowed his head, tipping an imaginary hat at me. Smiling, I turned around I ran a few more steps and instinctively knelt on the ground
"Don't ." He said suddenly.
I looked up from where I was gathering a handful of snow. I gave him an innocent smile.
"What?"
"I know what you're thinking. don't do it." He said, taking a step back. I felt a thrill of anticipation shoot through me, realizing that the big bad wolf was actually scared of being hit by a snowball.
"You should know why I like snow so much.." I grinned with mischief and he gave me a look of disbelief.
"I don't think you can hit me. You're forgetting that i'm an expert at taekwondo.”
I held my hand up and threw , cursing when he casually stepped out of the way, laughing at the look on my face.
"You have to concentrate on what you're doing. Anticipate my next move and react accordingly." He advised, bending down to get some snow for himself.
"React to this!!" I grabbed two handfuls of snow and ran straight at him, grinning as I leapt on him.
We landed on the snow, Jungkook on his back and I right on top of him, laughing as I smeared the snow on his face. He spluttered in disbelief and swiftly, threw his weight over, pinning me to the ground and straddling me, fingers swiftly grabbing my wrists and pushing my hands over my head, leaving me vulnerable and helpless, as he shook his head , showering me with ice cold flakes.
I squeaked in surprise and he laughed hard.
Watching him laugh, full and open , I realized that I'd never watched him laugh that way before.
He looked exhilarated.
Yanking my hand out of his grasp, I grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss.
the first touch of his lips to mine, felt like the sweetest, coolest sip of crystal waters after a lifelong thirst .
I sank into the snow, sighing into the sweetness and the gentle pressure of his lips against me, the first touch of his tongue, making heat seep through my body, despite the cold. I curled my fingers into the fur near his neck, smiling into the kiss as he slipped one hand into my hair, gently tilting my head for better access.
He kissed me softly. He kissed me deeply.
He kissed me like that was what he'd been put on the earth to do.
But mostly he kissed me like that was all he wanted .
It was so absurdly romantic that I wanted to laugh .
I could catch whiffs of his scent, even though my eyes were watering and mey nose felt like it was running. Some elusive cologne mixed with the scent of clean male skin . It made me heat up in ways that curled my toes in my fur boots. Each little kiss lasted a little longer than the one before, till I was certain that I was going to melt into the snow. And each little breath felt like a little wisp of my soul leaving my body and mingling with his.
We kissed and kissed and kissed, while the snow fell in white flakes around us .
First Snow. first kiss, I thought happily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After our little episode in the garden, I found that I felt something akin to desperation everytime I came in contact with Jungkook.
It's not that I woke up one day and realized that something had changed in the way I watched Jungkook.
. That my eyes lingered, not just on his face but on the curve of his lips, the edge of his jaw, the exposed skin of his neck. My fingers wanted to reach out and grip, not just the strength of his shoulders and the slender digits of his hand but also his lean waist.
I began losing my mind, slowly and painfully. Suffocating when Jungkook got too close , choking when he went away too far.
As they spent time together, Jungkook began touching me.
. Not too often and never in an intrusive way , but every time his fingers traced the back of my palm or brushed back my hair, my throat went dry and my heart stopped pumping blood and I felt like like a fool because I had no idea if Jungkook felt half of what I was feeling.
In fact I was certain that Jungkook didn’t feel anything at all.
What I was feeling was painful and confusing and if Jungkook felt any of it, he would be running as far away from me as possible, not moving closer and closer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why are you so nervous?” Jungkook laughed and I bit my nails nervously, glancing around the reception hesitantly. The workers were all busy, no one spared us so much as a glance but I couldn’t help but feel terrified.
“It’s only us here? For the whole weekend? No one else?” I asked again for the hundredth time.
Jungkook groaned, shaking his head and ignoring me, holding his hand out for the keys to our cottage. I yelped a bit when he began walking away without waiting for me, running to keep up with his long strides.
“Sorry…I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” I said quietly, slipping my hand into his, linking our fingers together and smiling a little.
He squeezed my hand gently before pulling away to wrap me in a one armed huge, pressing a kiss to my neck.
“I booked the entire resort for the weekend. The staff have all signed a confidentiality agreement. No one is going to know we’re here. You can be as loud as you want.” He whispered and I yelped, hitting his chest,” let me finish….” He laughed. “ When you yell at me. You can be as loud as you want when you yell at me.”
“You’re a terrible person.” I whispered , burying my face into his arm in mortification.
Jungkook merely laughed .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You seem tense." He said that evening, as the pair of us sat on the back deck , glasses of bubble tea in hand , watching the waves break out on the rocks. Slow but persistent , gradually breaking the rock's resistance and carving its way into its heart.
"Can we ever …truly be relaxed ?" I asked , a little bit of desperation in my tone. Jungkook didn’t turn to look at me . Instead he took a picture of the rocks and the sea with his phone.
"That's a pretty loaded question. With a lot of answers."
I stared at him, wondering why I was more confused now than before.
"Sometimes I can't understand you at all." I said quietly, shaking my head.
“Do you understand that I love you?” He said softly.
I hesitated before nodding.
“That’s the only thing that matters to me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boys dropped by for a visit the next day.
I sat down on the open deck, opposite Namjoon for a game of chess. Jungkook slid into the armchair next to me.
"Are you winning?" Jungkook asked quietly and I shot him a glare, which gets a smile in return promptly. It was like he always knew what to say , how to manipulate my thoughts and emotions, how to make me look and feel a certain way , just so he could steal that part of mr away.
How evil.
At first I didn’t notice that he was sitting a bit too close for comfort, because as such, we've lived on top of each other for quite a while now. But after a while I became aware of the warmth of his thigh, solid and strong against my own, evident even through the layers of jean separating them.
I tried to move away, surreptitiously, but Jungkook only moved closer.
"Try this."
His fingers fluttered over my thigh, intentionally or not I would never know, reaching for my queen and I tried not to jump out of my skin, gritting my teeth as my muscles stiffened, my nerves tingling like electric.
I licked my lips and Jungkook’s eyes flickered up at the movement, a gentle smile tugging at his lips and my gut clenched in embarrassment. But the brunette moved even closer, his bare arm now brushing against mine and I had to swallow the desperate urge to get up and just run.
"Well, this is entertaining." Namjoon said suddenly and i looks at my opponent for the first time since Jungkook’s arrival. Namjoon was leaning back in his armchair, amusement shining out of his eyes .
I scrambled in a bid to put space between Jungkook and I and failed miserably.
"He's just helping me with chess." I said desperately.
"Oh, is that what they call it these days?" Namjoon leaned forward looking very intrigued.
Jungkook reached out and clonked him on the head but his eyes were laughing and I wondered how this was going to end. I wanted it. Wanted to take that final step with Jungkook but I was also so , so scared.
Would it change things. For the better? For worse?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook, I soon realized, took the way I was shying away from him , as some sort of a twisted challenge to get closer than ever. The more I moved away, the closer Jungkook gets , touching me in gentle intimate little touches and every time he did, a slow simmering fire started at the pit of my stomach, reaching out in gentle upward licks , drying my throat and turning my insides into molten goo.
She's almost tempted to ask Jungkook if he feels the same way but she's saved the trouble later that week.
"I want you."
I froze on the spot, fingers stopping in mid air, inches from picking up a slice of apple, neatly placed on the tray. We were in the dining room, Jungkook sitting with a set of files spread out in front of him and me with a knife and a few uncut apples in a basket.
"You..what?" I squeaked.
" I'm attracted to you and I really want to have sex with you." Jungkook said , almost carefully.
Like he was announcing the weather. Like his words weren’t carefully calculated to turn my world upside down.
"Alright. " I whispered, not even sure what else I could say to that.
I stole a glance at Jungkook who was grinning from ear to ear. I felt blush rushing up my body, the blood flooding my face so quick it made me dizzy..
"Don't .. Don't look at me like that." I whispered, mortified to sound like a sixteen year old girl.
"Do you want me to leave now?" Jungkook reached out , placing a soft hand on my palm and it took all my willpower not to grab Jungkook and hug him. Instead I managed a weak smile. My mind was a few seconds away from collapsing in on itself and I was too stunnedto think straight.
So I answered the question at face value.
"No, I don't want you to leave now. "
"Okay. Go ahead, eat your fruit. It's good for you."
Jungkook smiled again, serene and perfectly at peace with the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At eleven thirty on Saturday night, both Jungkook and I sneaked out of the hotel, arms laden with our picnic basket and coats draped over our shoulders. Once we reached large pond in the outer edge of the property, Jungkook made quick work of the blanket, spreading it out on the artificial lawn that surrounded it.
I settled down on it, reaching out and dipping my legs in the water. It's a bit chilly but only for a second. I wriggled my toes playfully and Jungkook slipped a bit closer to me, letting his foot sink in next to mine.
We played around for a while, splashing water on each other and then I pulled my legs out.
"You okay?" Jungkook asked softly and I turned around to stare at him , a little apprehensive. There are so many things wrong with this , a part of me screams. But there's a part of me that longs, so badly , for this simplicity. Longs and has longed, all my life. Just this, the chance to relax and be myself and play around with water in the moonlight.
"I'm not sure." I admitted, honestly.
"Tell me. " Jungkook said and for once his voice isn't relaxed. Instead it's a bit urgent and anxious.
"We're not... I’m so scared that we'll never make it, you know." I sighed, dipping my legs back into the water, just as Jungkook pulled his out.
"Why? Because of the media ?" There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice and I hated myself for bringing this up. We were supposed to be spending time together, enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t sup[posed to be ruining the mood like this.
"It's nothing. I just.. I don't want you to get hurt." I said honestly.
"Because of you? Because I'm with you?" Jungkook's voice was lot softer now, the bitterness replaced by concern.
"I.. Yes.. I mean... I'm.."
"You're a gorgeous young woman who is intelligent and charming. Why would I ever give you up?" Jungkook asked, reaching out and wrapping an arm around my shoulder but I couldn’t help but sigh.
"That's.. that's not what everyone else thinks." I reminded him. “ And that not what they’ll say, if you ever tell them the truth about us.”
"No it isn't. And I won't say something stupid like , it doesn't matter what others think. Because it does, I know it does. And it's going to hurt. In fact I think it would hurt you a lot more than it would hurt me. But if I don't... If I don't take a chance with us... that's going to hurt me too. So its a choice. I can either choose to get hurt by people I don't give a damn about , and in return I get... get to be with someone I really...like…..
"Or, I give up the woman I love and get hurt by my own decision. " Jungkook finished.
"We hurt either way." I smiled bitterly, Jungkook's words making a lot of sense.
"Yes. All you need to choose is , what's worth the hurt? Being with me, or society's approval?" Jungkook leaned forward slightly and I blinked.
We stayed that way staring at each other for a second and then he pulled away and sighed deeply.
"I've already chosen, I. I'm not pushing you, but I hope you'll pick me." He said quietly.
I stared into the night, thoughtfully. So easy, I told myself. So easy to turn around right now and kiss Jungkook, tell him that I didn’t deserve so much happiness. That my heart was so light, I wanted to spout wings and fly.
So easy but so frightening.
The wind picked up somewhere and somehow a draught found its way inside and I shivered a little, only to have a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulder. Jungkook snuggled in with me and we huddled together
My thoughts tripped over each other and I wanted to run away but I stayed still, letting the gentle lap of the water against my toe, calm my inner turmoil.
"It's just you and me." Jungkook whispered, " Right now. Just you and me. Let's pretend we're the only ones on the planet."
I turned around to the brunette in surprise but Jungkook's looking out into the water, lit by a full moon from the skylight.
"Just you and me. " He said absently and I nodded, looping my fingers with Jungkook's. We sat in silence, pressed against each other and I waited till the moon slipped behind a cloud before turning around, slightly, and pressing my lips against Jungkook's.
It's soft and very short, over before it even begins and Jungkook smiled into the kiss.
Explicit Content :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jungkook teasingly pushes her back and Areum falls back against the soft mattress, like she's been shoved. She melts into the kiss and then Jungkook’s lips move away, dragging his teeth and tongue over the exposed expanse of her neck, lightly sucking and biting and then soothing with his tongue. Areum gasps and struggles and fights for air, before dragging their lips together again.
Jungkook kisses her until she's splayed flat against the bed, eyes wide and lost and lips parted, blush staining her cheeks and then Jungkook's reaching out to the table and pulling his camera , snapping a picture.
"You're such a weirdo!" Areum laughs , too turned on to be annoyed.
"No, just a man. A man in love." Jungkook leans down, pushing his hips down into hers and she gasps at the friction. They make quick work of their jeans and suddenly its skin on skin and she's not sure if she's doing this right.
"Jungkook.. I..I.."
"Hey, relax. I got you." Jungkook holds her close, just holding her, cradling her almost and the familiar words smooth away her apprehensions and he's moving closer, trying to pull more sounds out of her, his lips tracing the line of her chest, tongue swirling around one nipple before moving down and down, dipping lightly into her belly button.
And then the camera is tossed to the side, Jungkook flipping them over with ease , his lips moving down , tongue dipping into the curve of her waist down and then further down , lightly licking at the sensitive bundle of nerves near her center and Areum's pretty certain she loses her mind at that point.
"You're amazing." He whispers, and she nearly flies off the bed when Jungkook slides a single digit in, slowly , so slowly. She’s wet and ready but her body is still stuck in auto pilot and she wants to close her legs instinctively.
"Relax for me." Jungkook whispers, lips close to her ear, licking and teasing .
"I'll make it good. Just relax for me." Jungkook says again, gently, lapping at her neck and Areum unclenches her thighs letting him work his way in, sighing when the slide becomes a little more easy and a little more familiar.
"So beautiful." Jungkook whispers and Areum laughs, shaking her head.
"It's dark, you can't even see-"
"I can’t see but I can feel you. i can feel you and you’re so fucking gorgeous." He slips another finger in and curls his fingers against the walls of her insides and the gentle press of the pad of his finger is too much and not enough , all at once. Her head falls back into the pillow, all coherency leaving her body in a single whoosh of breath.
"Look at me. Only me." She whispers when Jungkook thrusts into her for the first time and Jungkook nods shakily and he pushes in, leaving her trembling at the ache and the pain and wanting to cry out, but she swallows it all down because she knows it’s going to get better .
"Don't wander off. " Areum whispers, pulling him down for a kiss and Jungkook pushes in deeper, earning a gasp. He wishes he could explain, that he can't ever think of anything but her because she is the perfect dream.
“I love this. I love you. “ she whispered and he had to physically restrain himself from burying himself to the hilt inside her. Her body was still getting used to him. He didn’t want to hurt her but God, she felt so amazing around him. the heat and wetness driving him crazy in a way that couldn’t be explained.
“Hold me tight.”
And she did.
With her arms and her legs and her body and her.....everything.
When she clenched around him, his mind went blissfully blank, her orgasm hitting him like an earth shattering, bone melting , heart stopping explosion of bliss.
He fell against her, careful not to crush her with his weight and rolled to the side gathering her close.
Someday he would hurt her, he was sure of it. He was an idiot after all and he knew he would find a way to muck this up and ruin it for them but for now, he wasn’t going to think about any of that.
For now, he was going to enjoy the intimacy of making love to the woman he loved.
Author’s Note : Hope you guys liked it! it was supposed to be very angsty but its really not lol....
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You’re in love with him
A/n I gave his mom the name Mei.
Warnings: none just some fluff, friends to lovers
Pairings: Aone × fem!reader
Being best friends with Aone came easily having your mother’s being best friends and living down the street from one another meant spending lots of time with him becoming close friends your selves. Always going to school together and waiting for him during practice so you can go home together. Having weekly sleepovers alternating who’s house unless he was away for a game, tournament or training camp.
And today you made your way to the gym to watch practice while doing homework, before staying at his house for the weekend. When you walk in the guys were still stretching.
“Hey guys” you said walking in
They greeted you with several ‘hey’ or 'hi’ from them as they started to warm up. Taking your normal seat and starting on your homework. When suddenly a volleyball comes flying at you unexpectedly and smashing into the side of your face. The whole team freezes except Aone who is running up to you.
“Way to go” Futakuchi said sarcastically to Koganegawa “dont be surprised when Aone kills you for hitting her”
“Let me see” Aone said softly moving your hand away from your cheek
Your cheek was very red and bruising already as tears fell down your cheeks. He ghosted his thumb over your cheek to wipe your tears
“Ow” you whimpered
“Here” Sakunami said handing Aone a ice pack that he wrapped a towel in so the ice wasn’t directly on your skin
He took it and gently placed it on your cheek holding your face so gently in his hand. You gently place your hand over his on your cheek.
“Thanks bear” you whisper his childhood nickname
He smiled softly at that. Then his smile dropped as he removed his hand from your cheek your hand still holding the ice pack as he turned and glared at Koganegawa.
“I promise it was an accident I didnt mean to” Koganegawa said quickly
“Then why haven’t you apologized to her?” Sakunami asked
Koganegawa ran over to you hanging his head
“I’m so sorry Senpai” he said “I didnt mean to”
“Please be more careful Koganegawa” you said
He nodded and they went back to practice you packed up your things as you waited for them to clean up to walk home with Aone. Your cheek still hurt and it had potential to give you a black eye from where it hit your cheek.
“Let’s go” Aone said when they were finished
“Can I get a piggyback ride to the train station?” You asked
He nodded and crouched down. You climb on and he holds your legs as you wrap your arms around his neck as he starts walking to the train station, resting your non bruised cheek against his his back. He set you down while waiting for the train. When you finally arrive to his house you walk in taking off your shoes in the now permanent space for you since you were over so often.
“Are you kids home?” His mom calls from the kitchen
“Yes we are Mei” you said
“Dinner is just about ready if you want to wash up” she said
Aone walks up to the bathroom to shower quickly before dinner. As you walk into the kitchen washing your hands to help finish making dinner.
“How are you dear?” Mei asked her back to you
“I’m good” you said as you move next to her cutting up some green onion
“What happened to your face?” She asked alarmed seeing the bruise
“I was watching practice and I got hit with a stray spike” you said
“Oh dear” she said “have you iced it?”
“Yes, bear made me right after it happened” you said
She smiled at the use of Aones nickname “of course he did” she said “but it looks like it still going to be around for a little while.”
“Yeah unfortunately” she said “the first year that accidentally hit me felt so bad I thought he was going to start crying”
She giggled softly and you both finished up making dinner which was shoyu ramen (soy sauce based)
“Will you go get him for dinner?” Mei asked
You nod and go upstairs to his room the shower wasn’t going anymore. So you walk to his door and knock. He opens the door letting you in. Hes drying his hair from his shower wearing black sweats and a white tshirt.
“Dinner is ready” you said smiling up at him.
“What are we having?” He asked putting the towel in his basket
“Ramen” you said
“Good its going to be cold tonight” he said.
He lightly touches your cheek again.
“I’m okay” you said
“I know I worry still” he said
“You always do” you said leaning into his touch and turn to kiss the palm of his hand “let’s go eat”
You take his hand in yours not noticing the wash of pink on his cheeks as you lead him down to the table and taking your normal seat beside him. After dinner and helping him clean up, his mom left going to the store to get some groceries and some snacks for the both of you for the weekend.
You go upstairs with him, he started on his homework and you lounge on his bed keeping him company when your phone started ringing.
“I’ll be right back” you tell him as you leave his room
You walk to the living room. And sit down and answer your girl bestfriends call
“Hey, Yachi” you said
“Hey honey” she said
“What’s up?” You asked
“I wanted to ask if you wanted to have a sleep over this weekend” she said “me, kiyoko and Saeko are here”
“Oh I can’t, I’m already staying at Aone’s this weekend” you said
“Have you confessed to him yet?” Saeko asked
“What do you mean? Hes my best friend we’ve been friends our whole lives my mom and his mom are childhood bestfriends too” you said
“You spend all your time with him unless hes away for volleyball” she said
“Well yeah…” you said
“Did something happen?” Kiyoko asked
“I got hit with a stray spike in the face” you said
“And how did he react?” Yachi asked
“He ran over right away and checked on me and gave me an ice pack after wiping my tears away” you said
“And after practice?” Saeko asked
“He gave me a piggyback ride to the train station and we took the train home, I helped his mom finish making dinner and we ate, I was keeping him company in his room while he did homework until you called” you said
“I hate to be the one to say it but you and him act more like boyfriend and girlfriend not friends” kiyoko said
You sat in silence for a little while thinking about everything.
“Hey are you still there?” Saeko asked
“Oh god” you said
“You’re in love with him” kiyoko said you could hear the smile in her voice
“Yeah…” you trailed off
“Then go tell him” Saeko said
“Is everything alright dear?” Mei asked
You hang up the phone and look up at her as she stood in front of you
“I just realized something” you whispered looking down
“What?” She asked concerned
“I’m in love with him” you whispered afraid to say it too loudly
“Who?” She asked tilting your chin up “Takanobu?”
“Yes” you whispered nodding
She smiled and kissed your forehead “I’m happy you finally figured it out” she said
“What?” You asked confused
“Your mom and I were wondering when you’d finally figure it out” she said
“Really?” You asked “you both knew?”
“Oh my dear, I’m pretty sure the only ones who didnt know were you and him” she said smiling “now, why dont you go tell him”
You nod a little hesitantly but go back upstairs after texting yachi why you hung up so suddenly. When you walk back in hes closing his text books
“Finished already?” You asked
“Yes” he said standing up and walking over to sit on his bed
You go and sit beside him.
“Can I tell you something?” You asked
“Of course” he said
You take a deep breath and let it out slowly resting your head on his shoulder “I love you, more than just friends” you said
He stiffened for a moment “you do?” He asked turning to look at you
You look back at him and nod
“I-I” he started but took a breath “I love you too, more than just a friend”
“You do?” You asked
“Yes, I have for a while” he said and he reaches into his bedside table and pulled out a letter and handed it to you
“What’s this?” You asked
“Read it” he said
You open the letter and read it;
'My dear,
We’ve been friends for as long as I remember and I’ve never been good with words; but I want you to know I cherish our friendship, but lately I find myself wanting more, I want to hold your hand when we are walking together, not just around town but at school too, I want to hold you in my arms when we have our weekly sleep overs, to wear my volleyball jacket when you come to my games. I guess I’m saying that I want you to be my girlfriend. I’ve loved you for a while now and it’s taken me this long to tell you how I feel.
-Love your Bear’
“I’ll gladly be your girlfriend” you said as tears fell down your cheeks
He wiped away your tears and kissed your forehead. You look up at him and lean towards him and gently kiss his lips, he kissed you back gently before pulling away smiling. You smile back and cuddle up to him as he gently plays with your fingers and his hand in yours. The both of you end up falling asleep cuddling.
A few weeks later, you’re getting ready, Saeko is picking you up to take you with her to a training camp to surprise Aone. You hear her honking and you run out and climb in handing Hinata your bag.
“Okay go” you said
“Are you excited?” Saeko asked
“Of course I am” you said “I’m always excited to see my boyfriend”
“Dont you see him every day?” Hinata asked
“Yep but he doesn’t know that I’m coming” you said smiling
About 45 minutes later and nearly dying from Saekos insane driving three times you finally arrive at the training camp, the first ones out are Hinata and Kageyama. Then you and Saeko got out walking towards the gym where the teams were taking a short break between games. The next team’s going up were Date Tech and Karasuno. Kiyoko and Yachi see you first.
“You came!” Yachi said smiling as she runs over and hugs you
“Saeko picked me up” you said and hug her back
“Good, we needed a few other girls” Kiyoko said smiling taking her hug
“Please, shes ditching us for her boyfriend” Saeko said rolling her eyes playfully
“Boyfriend?” Nishinoya asked “this beautiful goddess has a boyfriend?”
“Yep” you said smiling
“Who?” He asked
“Watch” Yachi said
Just then Date Tech walked over and you smile as you see your boyfriends eyes widen seeing you here. You run up to him jumping into his waiting arms wrapping your arms around his neck as he held your thighs, giving him a kiss on the cheek
“Hey” he said softly
“Hey baby” you said smiling hugging him tightly
He was holding you close not paying any attention to the stares from the other teams. As they watched the iron wall be soft for his girlfriend. He sets you back down on your feet, but holds your hand.
“Come meet my friends” you said he nods and follows you over, “this is, Kiyoko, Yachi and Saeko, kiyoko and yachi are Karasunos managers and Saeko is Tanakas older sister”
“Hi” he said “I’m Aone”
“Oh we know a lot about you” Saeko said smirking at you “this one talks about you all the time”
“Saeko I do not” you said blushing deep red
“Except you do” Kiyoko said
You whine a little bit embarrassed and hide your face in Aones chest. He starts stroking your hair.
“Its fine dear, I dont mind you talking about me” he said.
“Aone were about to start” Futakuchi said calling him over
“Go, good luck” you said
He lets you go and kisses your lips quickly before running back over to his team.
“Its definitely safe to say that you’re in love with him” Kiyoko said
“Yes I am” you said smiling watching your boyfriend getting ready to play
“So should we expect wedding invitations after you graduate?” Saeko asked in a teasing tone
“Maybe” you said blushing.
#aone x reader#aone takanobu#aone fluff#aone#takanobu aone x reader#haikyuu takanobu#childhood friend#childhood friends to lovers#getting together#love notes#love confessions#fluff
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Going Home
Jet-Black Hero: Tsukuyomi / Tokoyami Fumikage x Fem!Reader - Pro Hero AU (in their 20s)
Tokoyami had it bad. He had it so bad he had to bribe dark shadow to keep his mouth shut about it when you would call him. Sure he’s older than he was in high school and has more control over his quirk partner- he could force him to keep his mouth shut, but it feels wrong to force him to do anything when he’s a friend
You met Tokoyami in high school, becoming instant friends and bonding over darkness and crime shows. You even went as scully and mulder one Halloween together. But then you moved to a different country before senior year and he hasn’t been able to physically see you since.
You kept in contact religiously. He was your best friend and you told him you’d die if he doesn’t remain that way. You talk every day whenever you have free time and FaceTime every Monday and Wednesday alternating evenings and mornings for each other whenever hero work allows.
You have a separate conversation going on Snapchat, Instagram, and texts that you both stay on top of. Your Snapchat streak said 1174 and you’d be damned if it ever broke before you got to see him again. And yes, somewhere along the lines, you fell for him, but you’d never tell him. You’d never ruin your friendship like that.
“Remember to pick her up at noon” Dark Shadow said into his mind and he rolled his eyes, like he would ever forget the date and time his best friend would be in his life again. The second his agency was confirmed he extended a contract toward you, a popular new hero who was looking for an agency. A six month contract with abilities to extend should it feel like a good fit.
“Seriously? Not just because I’m your friend? You honest to god think our quirks would work well if I’m your side kick? On the bracelet?” He nods into the phone camera and then looks down at the purple adjustable bracelet you had gotten for him on your last arcade adventure before you moved, a matching black one on your wrist.
“I swear on the bracelet” he said, heart skipping. Yes he knew your quirks would work well together that was true. But he also knew that he was dying to see to again and when you said you only needed a good enough opportunity to move back, he saw a perfect opportunity that fate had handed you both.
Your black bracelet was faded to grey over the years of never taking it off but your heart beat raced in your chest. “Okay” you say with a smile and warm cheeks “I’ll have my agent look over the contract and I’ll give it a serious thought career wise.” Your eyes sparkled and he hoped your agent liked the proposal. His heart racing as you smiled at him like that. God he loved your smile.
“I like it. It would be good for your hero image if you had hero work in other countries as well. Young hero going back home. We can make a good story out of it how you were home sick. It’s also good that it’s with your best friend.” You checked out after she said she liked it. You were going home. You were going home.
You called Tokoyami right away and he answered on almost the last ring. “I’m sorry I just needed to talk to you” you said and took a deep breath as he work up “no it’s fine. It’s always fine when it’s you” his voice was tired and thick and you could only imagine how it would be in person.
“I have some news” you said with a smile and he perked up, sitting up in bed and against his headboard as he looked out his window at the night sky “what is it?” He asks, trying not to feel too excited as the phone presses hard against his ear.
“Guess” you said with a teasing tone and he knew immediately
“Really?” He asks, not being able to hide the excitement in his tone as his empty fist shoots up in celebration
“She said she liked it. It’ll be good for my image” you said with a grin, holding the phone in the crook of your neck as you play with the bracelet you’ve never taken off.
“When?” He asks eagerly
“You should know when Fumi, you made the contract” you joke and he chuckles
“no I know when your first day will be but when are you coming here?” He needs to know how much longer. How much more time will be spent away from you
“A week”
he laughs once out of shock and joy “a week?” He asks and you laugh, joy lacing every part of your voice
“my agent got me a flight and an apartment. The building I asked for already had one open and it was easy peasy. It’ll be furnished for me so I’ll be there next Wednesday at noon. Then I’ll have three weeks there before I start work. With you”
He couldn’t believe it. It went so fast he feels like his heart is spasming. Eight years away from you and only one week to go. “I’ll pick you up text me your itinerary”
“Okay” you say with a laugh and then smirk as you say “you’re not gonna ask where I’m gonna be living?”
“Where?”
“#407” you say and it takes him a moment but he gets there
“You mean six doors down?” He asks and you laugh
“Yeah I hope you don’t mind. I just thought it would be fun” you feel nervous like he’s not gonna like it, your palms sweat
“That’s amazing I’m so happy” he says and you grin “really? You don’t mind I’m living in your building?”
“Why would I mind? The best person in my life is going to be my neighbor. I can’t wait”
You hear his alarm go off and gasp “I’m sorry Fumi I didn’t mean to ruin your sleep”
He laughs “you didn’t. Trust me. But I do have to go to work. To get things set for you to be here.”
“Okay. I’ll text you. Be safe today Fumi”
—
His hands feel sweaty as he stands at the gates. Jesus. Was this even a good idea? Fuck he was so nervous. Your plan had landed he was just waiting for the doors to open. When the fight attendants opened the door he felt dark shadow getting nervous as well.
But then he saw you, a hat on your head and sunglasses on to try and stay inconspicuous in American airports but since you were here now you took them off and ran your hand through your hair before scanning the room.
Fuck you were so beautiful his mouth was dry. You were so cute in pictures and face time but it had nothing on you in person. You were an angel. This was a bad idea he was too in love to do this.
Your eyes meet his and you smile wide, your hat and glasses in one hand and a water bottle in the other as you start making your way to each other. You started off walking and weaving around the slow walkers but once you had space you couldn’t stop increasing your speed before you were running for him, your water bottle clanging to the ground as you dropped everything and threw off your backpack to slam into his strong arms, laughing as tears fall into his neck as you bury your face into him.
“Hey Fumi” you whispered and held you tighter. You smelled amazing. Like fresh air and rosemary. He couldn’t get enough. He held you tight to his chest and realized you felt smaller in his arms but then he realized when you left he was 5’5 and tiny. He’s grown a lot since then and even though you have changed too, he’s still a much larger man than he was before.
He dwarfed you. You never thought it was even possible. He held you completely and you never wanted him to let go. “Fumikage” you say as you pull back, making sure he keeps his arms around your waist. You reach up and run your hand down his long feathers down the back of his head “you’re much larger in person holy crap. and your feathers are so beautiful!!! Fumi!!. I forgot the beautiful shades in the darkness of the black. How are you still single Fumi you must be dripping with fans” You joked but your heart hurt saying it. You wanted to hear him say he wasn’t dating. That he has feelings for you.
He looks down at you and feels pride swell in his heart as you praise him, controlling the urge to fluff out his feathers when you call them beautiful.
“No one wants to date a fan” he says shutting down your investigative prodding at his love life, but then says “You’re one to talk you’ve changed so much but I didn’t even know it was possible to be this gorgeous. Don’t think I didn’t read about America’s most eligible bachelorette.”
Your cheeks flush with heat and you hide your face in his neck “oh hush Fumi. Always flustering me. Like you haven’t FaceTimed me every week. And that article was a joke” he sighs softly and you can see emotions swirling in his eyes.
“It’s different in person” he says and you sigh as you gaze up at him with a smile “it certainly is”
Once dark shadow decided to ruin the moment you remembered you were still in the airport. Fumi carried your big suitcase like it wasn’t a hundred pounds and before you could object dark shadow had your backpack across his back. Dark Shadow just laughed when you stuck your tongue out at him. “we’ve really missed you” he said when he handed you your water, your glasses and hat already on his body
—
You fall back into an easy rhythm with Fumikage, teasing and playing while talking in his car back to the apartment. After laughing so hard and catching your breath, you look over at his profile and your heart skips. The sun is hitting his feathers, his black button up shirt that was unbuttoned at the neck pulled at his biceps as his right hand rests against the shifter and his left hand was on the steering wheel. God you didn’t know if this was a good idea. You thought you were going back to your childhood home but being with Fumikage nothing has felt more like home than this.
“The boxes you sent over should be here in the next few days. If you need anything or don’t have something you can always come over, I have a spare key for emergencies” he’s going over a few things that it seems like he’s really thought about before you came. He was prepared and it warmed your heart. You smiled up at him as the elevator dinged for the fourth floor and he looked down at you eyes widening as he catches you staring. you smile and reach out, taking a gentle hold on his free hand near you and give it a soft squeeze. “Thank you Fumi. You think of everything. I’ve really missed that”
He doesn’t let go of your hand until he has to unlock his front door, you’d be staying the night with him and your agent was meeting you in the morning with the keys for your place.
his fingers tingle to grab for your hand again but he doesnt
“You can have my room, I’ll take the couch in my office. It’s a pull out.” You smile from your place standing on the landing just inside the door, watching as he disappears with your luggage down a hallway then comes back walking a little slower and playing with his hands like he does when he’s nervous.
The edge of the landing went down a couple steps and he stopped at the bottom edge “feel free make yourself at your home” he says with a nervous chuckle and you grin, running and jumping off the landing into his arms and burying your face in his shoulder.
“Oh Fumi eight years was too long” you whispered into him and he holds you up effortlessly, his beak brushing your shoulder and he curves into you, desperate to hold you after so long “way too long” he agreed.
———
The weeks seemed to fly by, you were settled into your apartment and you just got done with your first official week at the office.
“So, Tsukuyomi, Sir” you say with a smirk and lean against his open office door “how was my first day boss?”
He crosses his arms over his wide chest and gave you his best Boss look, making your heart flutter and causing your cheeks to heat up. you chuckled and tried not to show how flustered you were when you walked farther into his office. He stood from his desk and gave you a nod with a soft chuckle “you did well. I think you’re going to love it here. Let me take you to dinner tonight to celebrate”
——
He showed up at your door at seven and your breath catches in your throat when you see him. Black straight jeans with a black button up tucked in with a red tie and black boots. He looked divine. Like a god of the underdark. His hands were fixing his tie and you stepped forward, not missing the squeak of his own breath catching in his throat at the sight of you, and fixed his tie for him.
You had on a red dress and a black jean jacket that has rolled sleeves and pair of black booties that look like you could kick someone’s ass in them. His brain immediately short wired and all he can think is how well you look together. How right. How good. Fuck this was going to be harder than he thought to just be your friend but he didn’t want to you to think he was a sleaze or make you quit his agency.
Your hands fix his tie and then rest against his chest, when you see his flustered eyes and nervous body language you chuckle and lean up, kissing his beak gently, then wiping the lipstick with your thumb “you look really handsome Fumi” you say softly and he feels a whimper catch in his throat.
your eyes turn from him up to Dark Shadow who had on a matching tie “is it too much?” He asks and you laugh “you look good in it but I do think you pull off natural look best” he nods and salutes you “message received” before taking it off and tossing it into your apartment behind you.
When you look back to Fumi he’s glaring at Dark Shadow like he was a bad child and you chuckled before boldly taking his hand, hoping you read the signs right and that he did feel the same.
“Are you ready?” You ask and he nods, his fingers tighten around your hand as he relaxes, giving you a soft squeeze before placing your hand on his bicep and holding you close as he cleared his throat “I got a reservation at this new restaurant downtown” he says as you enter the elevator and you smile up at him “anywhere with you is perfect”
Dinner went by incredibly quick, you sat in a back booth, talking and laughing the whole night. It was a new restaurant that catered to people with any kinds of quirks and had surprisingly good tofu and fish. (I mean who’s gonna get the chicken on date with a bird?)
By the end of the meal he’s grabbed your hand over the table and is running his fingers against yours softly. “Thank you for tonight Fumi, I really feel like being here was the right choice. I would have came no matter what my agent said” his eyes widened a little
“Really?” He asks and you laugh with a grin “of course! You’re special to me and I just needed a good reason to come back home” your expression was so soft he felt those three words crawl up his tongue.
His eyes look serious for a moment as he looks at the way your hands look together “y/n I need to tell you something” he says and gets extra serious
“What is it?” You ask, trying to keep your voice neutral even tho you know your face screams ‘I’m worried now’
He meets your eye for a few long seconds before he shakes his head. He couldn’t. He couldn’t ruin this close friendship when he wasnt positive his feelings would be returned. “Never mind. It’s not that important. What do you say about dessert?”
He was leaning on the table on his elbows, close enough to reach out and touch over the tiny table, and so you did. You reach up and ran your fingers lightly over the edges of his feathers with a soft smile. “Of course Fumi. But how about we go to the cookie place by the park you always talk about. I know you like it and it’s a perfect night for a walk.” He swallows hard and nods “that’s a perfect idea” he says as he signals for the waiter to pay.
You hold his hand all the way to the cookie place, talking easily and joking around, but you keep hoping for the perfect moment to confess. You had a feeling that’s what he was going to do at the restaurant, it changed your heart and convinced you to take the leap, almost positive he felt the same.
You sit on a bench in the park, one with perfect view of the city skyline, eating your cookies and dark shadow is teasing you about the time you kept stealing Tokoyami’s poptarts from the dorm kitchen. Your cheeks are hot and you’ve turned yourself towards Tokoyami, your left hand on your cheek and your face hidden in his shoulder as you laughed together, your right hand rested on his kid thigh. It felt so easy. So absolutely right.
You drop your hand from your cheek and look up at Tokoyami with a soft smile, heart racing at the emotion you find in his eyes.
“I’m sorry for stealing your poptarts” you say and his throat catches again at the way your eyes seem to shine with love for him he almost feels it’s too much but he wants to dive deeper, to drown in the love he finds.
He chuckles and cups your cheek “I never cared. I had the hugest crush on you then”
Your heart skips and your cheek heats even more under his touch “and now?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper
“Now I’m so in love I don’t know if it’s even quantifiable” he says with a hint of exasperation as he leans down and presses his forehead to yours.
Your eyes flutter closed as your heart thrums against your ribs, his confession echoing in your head as fireworks explode in your heart. You press a kiss on his beak and your heart skips when you hear a gasp catch in his throat
“I’m in love with you too, Fumi” you say and he pulls you into a hug, nuzzling his beak into your neck, wanting to get close to you to show you how much he loves you the best he can since he can’t properly kiss you.
He nips softly at your neck skin and you giggle so sweetly he feels light headed. You pull back and kiss his cheek before looking into his eyes. He cups your cheek again “that’s what I wanted to say back at the restaurant”
You chuckle and smile, taking his hand you press gentle kisses against his palm, trailing a few down to his wrist before saying with a smirk “I know”
#tokoyami fanfiction#tokoyami x you#tokoyami imagine#tokoyami fluff#tokoyami x y/n#tokoyami x reader#tokoyami fukimage#mha tokoyami#mha fluff#mha fanfiction#mha x you#mha x reader#mha x y/n#bnha x y/n#bnha x fem!reader#bnha x reader#bnha x you#bnha fanfiction#bnha fumikage#bnha tokoyami#mha fumikage
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SEVEN LETTERS | Jaehyun
SEVEN LETTERS | THE STORY UNTOLD (SEQUEL)
SUMMARY. On a camping trip, you find a message in a bottle that’s been washed up the shore, only to find out that it’s a message from you in the future. Your message tells you three things:
You must make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because,
He’s your soulmate and
Because of your future self’s mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.
GENRE. soulmate!au | childhood friends to lovers!au | slight fake dating!au | fluff | angst
important note: the text from the letters are in bold
WORD COUNT. 10.1k+ words (BIG oof)
author’s note. here she is 🥺 this didn’t take too long to write out, which is very surprising. it is extremely impossible for me to write a 10k fic over the course of two days. i think i’m just really ingested in soulmate!aus and it just triggers so much imagination and creativity. anyways, enough of my ramble, i hope you enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it! also, it’s unedited so if there are any mistakes, i’m apologizing in advance!
It would be an utter lie for you to say that Jeong Jaehyun didn’t have a tiny little spot reserved for him in your heart. It was like he packed your feelings for him in a suitcase and brought it along with him on the trip to your heart. But just like that tiny spot you have for him in your heart, your courage to tell him how you feel is just as tiny. Maybe a bit tinier.
But you think you’re okay with it. You’re fine with how you and Jaehyun are right now.
Endearing gazes. Lingering looks. Skipped heartbeats. Flushed cheeks. Unspoken words and thoughts—
“The water’s cold!”
You snap out of your thoughts, looking to your right to see Jaehyun jumping up and down in the water. Fortunately and unfortunately, he has a shirt on. He’s shivering with his teeth clattering. You let out a snort, shaking your head.
“Jaehyun, get over here and change your shirt before you catch a cold!” You both hear his mother scolding him. The both of you share a look before bursting into laughter.
“Yes, mother.” He sighs, heading back up the shore before his mother gets even more angry than she already is. You watch him as he walks past you, flicking some water in your face to tease you.
“Hey!” You exclaim, wiping the droplets of water that hit your cheeks.
As you’re left all alone by the lake, you take off your sunglasses to get a nice look at the sunrise. The sun is blinding but it provides much warmth that seeps into your skin.
This camp trip is a yearly event where your family and Jaehyun’s family would get together and travel up to the cottage. It was something you and Jaehyun looked forward to every year. The both of you would be sent off to university in two different cities before coming back for the summer to spend it together at the cottage. It’s the highlight of your summer. It’s been the highlight of your summer for 18 years.
You kick off your sandals before taking a few steps into the lake. The water sure is cold, you think to yourself. When your feet are submerged in the water at ankle’s height, you look up to notice a light glare in the lake. You squint your eyes.
“What the fuck is that?” You ask yourself as the object is floating closer towards you.
The closer it floats to you, the more you make out of it. It reaches your foot and your eyebrows raise in surprise. “A message in a bottle? These things still exist?”
You’re about to call Jaehyun to tell him what you’ve found until you notice your name written in large, capital letters on the message. Your eyes slightly widen. Slowly bending down, you grab the bottle. You’re just about to pry the cap of the bottle open until—
“Y/N, your mother’s looking for you.” You hear Jaehyun say. You freeze in your spot, shoving the bottle into your hoodie before zipping it up. You slowly turn around, quirking an eyebrow. “She needs help baking the cookies. You said your roommate gave you her famous recipe?”
“Right! Thanks.” You fake a smile, rushing past him and patting his shoulder.
Jaehyun turns around and looks at you confusedly.
“Y/N, did you bring your roommate’s cookie recipe—”
“I texted it to you just now.” You cut your mother off as you rush into the cottage, heading straight to the bathroom. Your mother purses her lips into a tight line, grabbing her phone before uttering a soft ‘thank you, honey!’.
Gently closing the door shut, you lean against the door. You unzip your hoodie to grab the bottle. You’re curious as to why your name is written on the piece of paper. It causes you to pry the cap open, flying it into the sink. The cap rolls around in a circle before stopping right above the drain. You pull out the letter and indeed, your name is written on it. As you unravel the paper, your hands start to clammer.
Y/N,
You’re probably wondering who I am and why your name is written on this piece of paper. I am you from the future. Fate brought my message to you and you’re getting this message for an important reason. Take in a deep breath before reading the rest of this letter.
You’re in complete disbelief. Your shoulders slump and you slowly slide down the door. Is this even possible? Is this some sort of prank? A joke? But the handwriting in your letter looks exactly like your handwriting, making it all a bit more believable. You continue to read.
Jeong Jaehyun is your soulmate. Yes, that dorky little dude who’s your best friend? Yes, he’s your soulmate. You know that you’re in love with him. Don’t even try to lie. In case you were wondering, yes, you will still be in love with him in the future. But there’s a huge problem and I need you to fix it to prevent yourself from experiencing regret for the rest of your life.
As I am writing you this letter, Jeong Jaehyun is in love with someone else. He did not fall in love with you; his soulmate. He’s getting married in a couple a months. In order to rewrite the future, I want you to remember three things:
You MUST make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because,
He is your soulmate and
Because of my mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.
You run a hand through your hair. This is too much for you. It’s all coming at you in full force. This is too much information for you to process in one sitting. You’ve already done so much at university, you don’t need any more stress for the rest of the summer. Besides, you just got here. You continue to finish reading the letter.
I am counting on you, past self. I don’t want you to live the rest of your life heartbroken, knowing that Jaehyun is in love with someone else, knowing that he’s getting married with another woman that isn’t his soulmate, and knowing that he will start a family with her and spend the rest of his life with her.
Don’t turn out like me, past Y/N. You’ll regret it.
Now go and rewrite your fate.
It’s what you deserve.
Good luck,
Future Y/N.
You let out a scoff.
Great. Now what?
“Are these the famous cookies your roommate makes?”
Jaehyun sniffs the freshly baked cookies and reaches out to grab one for himself. His mother swats his hand away and he lets out a yelp of pain. Your mother enters the dining room with another tray of freshly baked cookies and sets it down on the table. She hands you the other tray that’s already been cooled down.
“Why are you giving me this? I can’t finish all of this in one sitting.” You chuckle as you take the tray from her anyway.
“It’s not for you.” Your mother nods her head out the window. “It’s for the new neighbours. They just moved into the cottage. You know, the cottage that was being built last summer?”
“I was wondering why the cottage didn’t look so familiar,” Jaehyun mumbles with a mouthful of cookies.
“Want to come?” You ask him.
He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t see why not.”
The both of you are heading towards the cottage. Jaehyun’s busy admiring the layout of their patio while you’re putting on your best girl next door smile. Jaehyun knocks on the door and it takes a couple of seconds for someone to open the door for you.
“Oh—hi!” It’s a woman who looks like she’s around your age. She’s wearing sweats and a hoodie, but she has a warm, welcoming smile that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. “I’m guessing you’re our neighbours.”
“We are, yes,” Jaehyun beats you to it. You glare at him but he barely catches it. You raise an eyebrow out of curiosity, following his trance that’s landed on the girl. Your eyes squint. “We baked you some cookies, please take them, it’s my recipe—”
“Uh, your recipe?” You scoff and he gives you a warning look. “What? Why are you looking at me like that—”
“Your recipe? Oh, I’m sure they’re delicious.” She cuts you off. She gently grabs the tray from you and you fake a smile. “I’m Yeona. I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other this summer.”
“I’m Y/N—”
“I’m Jaehyun!” He cuts you off again.
You frown.
“Nice to meet you, Jaehyun and,” Yeona smiles while giggling. “Y/N.”
“If you need anything, you can always let us know.” Jaehyun grins. “If you’re feeling bored, you could always hang out with us—”
“Nice to meet you too, Yeona!” You throw your arm over Jaehyun’s shoulder, weighing your arm heavily on it. He gives you an irritated look. “I hope we can make great memories this summer.”
“You guys are such a cute couple.” Yeona chuckles.
Your smile is wiped off your face. “Oh, no, we’re not dating—”
“I think we’re a cute couple too.”
“What?” You blurt out. “We’re not—”
When you look at him, his eyes meet yours. He gives you a ‘play along’ look and you find yourself clearing your throat and putting up an act. You fake a laugh, nodding your head.
“We are! Yes, we are dating—we’ve actually—we’ve been together for a year now!” You exclaim, thinking of all the ways you could kill Jaehyun in his sleep.
“We’ll get going. It was nice meeting you, Yeona.” Jaehyun smiles.
Yeona watches the two of you as you interlock fingers and walk down the sidewalk back to your cottage. You’re this close to kicking Jaehyun in the shin until you both get back to your cottage. Once Jaehyun shuts the door, you slap him in the arm.
“Ow! What was that for—”
“Since when were we dating?”
He lets out a laugh. “I just find her really cute and so I figured—”
“You figured that the only way to make her interested in you is by pretending that you’re—”
“Taken?” He finishes it off for you. “By you? Yes. I figured it would be the only way.”
“Why are men so dumb?” You sigh annoyingly, pondering on whether you should start pulling your hair off of your scalp. “Why are men so dense?”
“It’ll only be for the summer—”
“That’s exactly the problem! We’ll be fake dating for the whole summer. I don’t want to be playing pretend and be boo boo the fool for a whole summer.” You argue. “I want to go fishing. I want to go hiking. I want to go swimming! The last thing I ever wanted is to fake date you—”
“Well, too bad. The damage has already been done.” Jaehyun smirks. “Besides, we probably won’t have to put up the act for the whole summer. I’m going to fake dump you for her—”
“You like her?” You blurt out.
“Yes. I like her. I find her really close to my ideal type—”
“Do you think she’s going to date you after finding out that those cookies that she’s probably eating right now are not from your recipe?” You test him. He clamps his mouth shut. “Exactly.”
“It’s not bad to be hopeful—”
“And it’s not bad to just tell her that you like her either.” You fold your arms until you remember something important. And it comes in the form of your own handwritten letter.
You MUST make Jeong Jaehyun fall in love with you because he is your soulmate and because of my mistake, he ended up falling in love with someone else.
“Should I just do that?”
You snap out of it. “Do what?”
“Just tell her that I like her and that we were just joking about us dating—”
“No!” You exclaim with your eyes widened like saucers.
“Why not?”
“Because—” You start, trying to look for the right words to say. “Because you’ve already made a huge mess and if you tell her the truth, the chances of her liking you back will be lower.”
Jaehyun stands there as if he’s deep in thought. You fold your arms, waiting for him to say something—
“You’re right. You’re a genius!”
You think you’re going to get a headache.
Three weeks pass when you get your second letter from your future self. You’re cooped up in your own room, holding the piece of paper in your hands with your eyes reading each word from left to right. Just like the first letter, the second one comes to you in a bottle that’s been washed up to shore. You found it just in time when you stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air.
Y/N,
Remember this specific date: July 31st.
Also, I’m sure you’ve met Yeona at this point. Believe me when I tell you this, Jaehyun has the biggest crush on her. He’s not joking around. He’s truly in love with her. She is the embodiment of his ideal type.
You grab your phone to check the date. It’s July 31st. The letter came right on time. At least your future self is still organized. You were afraid that your future self would grow lazy.
On that day, Jaehyun will ask you to go to the beach.
There’s a knock at the door. “Who is it?”
“Jaehyun, duh.”
You neatly fold the letter before placing it underneath your pillow. “Come in.”
He opens the door and pokes his head through. “My mother cooked breakfast. Let’s go down to eat.”
As you’re getting off of your bed, you notice how he looks hesitant to ask you something. You put on your house slippers and as you reach up to him, you look at him questioningly.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
He will ask you this because he knows that Yeona will be going to the beach. He’ll try to convince you by saying that the weather’s nice—
“Do you want to go to the beach today? The weather’s nice today, we should take advantage of it.”
I want you to tell him this— “Let’s go to the fair instead. I heard it just opened up yesterday.”
He will try to convince you to go to the beach instead. Don’t give in. “You don’t want to go to the beach? Didn’t you say you wanted to go swimming? Tanning?”
“But we always go to the fair. Besides, this year, they’re only open for a week.” Just keep suggesting somewhere else to go.
It will work. “They’re only open for a week this year?”
You slowly nod your head. “Unfortunately.”
Trust me. “We should probably just go to the fair instead, then, huh?”
You smile.
“We should.”
“What if we bump into Yeona?”
Jaehyun glances at you. You know that the both of you won’t bump into Yeona, for she is going to the beach instead. He shrugs his shoulders as the ticket vendor is wrapping a one-day wristband on his wrist. The both of you enter the annual fair and it immediately brings you memories of last summer and the summers before that.
“We should probably hold hands then,” he mumbles softly.
You look up at him. “Huh?”
“We should be prepared in case we bump into Yeona.” Jaehyun suggests.
He doesn’t give you a chance to say anything and grabs your hand. Your hand fits perfectly in his, especially when your fingers interlock. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. Who knew that the smallest thing to do like holding Jaehyun’s hand would turn out to be the biggest deal to you?
“Your hands are sweaty.” You mumble, trying to stop yourself from heating up.
“It’s pretty hot outside, huh?”
“Yeah, it sure is.” You bite your lip.
He grins. “Yeah, your cheeks are really red because of the heat.”
“Are they?” You gasp, letting go of his hand to cover your cheeks.
He chuckles. “It’s cute.”
Your hands slowly fall back to your sides. “Cute?”
He hums in reply, avoiding eye contact. He grabs your hand and interlocks your fingers. His ears are turning red, just like your rosy red cheeks.
“Why did you want to go to the beach?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “I heard Yeona will be going.”
“Do you,” you begin until you hesitate. “Do you like her?”
He nods. You’re not sure what to say or feel. But there’s one thing you’re sure of.
“I like her a lot.”
Jaehyun’s whipped for her.
The fair will be packed. “It’s quite busy today, huh?”
Jaehyun nods. “I think it’s because they’re only open for a week.”
You won’t bump into Yeona. In fact, you and Jaehyun will have the best day ever. Enjoy it while it lasts.
“What ride should we go on first?” He asks.
Your eyes scan the rides that await you. Your eyes land on one of the rollercoasters a few metres away. It’s right across from the Ferris wheel.
Don’t forget to have fun. This is your first chance to make him fall in love with you.
“Let’s ride the rollercoaster!”
And so as you’re lining up to ride the rollercoaster, you look down at your hands. Your hands fit perfectly together, don’t you think?
You could definitely get used to this.
“I have two seats left for this ride!” One of the operators announce and you’re shooting your arm up into the air.
“We’ll take those seats!”
“Great. Just come on over!” The both of you are rushing to your seats and buckling in your seatbelts. Jaehyun’s still holding your hands.
“Enjoy your ride!”
At the end of the day, Jaehyun will ask you if you want to ride the Ferris Wheel.
“The sun is starting to set.” You point at the sun.
Jaehyun smiles. “We should probably ride the Ferris Wheel. Do you want to ride it?”
I want you to say— “Sure. I’d love that.”
And he will make up some stupid excuse like— “Great. I want to take pictures of the sunset. I think I’ll get a good shot of the sunset when we’re at the top of the Ferris Wheel.”
Thus, the both of you are hopping onto one of the carts. You’re sitting right across from him. In romance movies, Ferris Wheel rides always lead up to the character’s undying love confession to the love interest when they reach the top of the ride. You could definitely see how it will never happen, especially when Jaehyun’s too busy taking pictures of the fucking sunset.
Don’t get your hopes up too high. It’s not going to feel romantic. And it sure isn’t. You’re sitting there, texting your roommate to compliment her cookie recipe that your mother can’t seem to stop baking. You can hear the faint clicking sounds coming from Jaehyun’s phone.
“Y/N—”
“Yeah?” You look up from your phone to hear a soft ‘click!’
But there is one thing that will happen and it will stir up Jaehyun’s heart. You guess this is it. He stares at the screen of his phone for a brief moment before slowly looking up at you.
“Did you just take a picture of me?”
He will make up another stupid excuse by saying— “Yes, I did. I think it’ll be a good picture to use for your Tinder or something. I’ll send it to you.”
“Why, you little—”
“Sent it!”
You look down at your phone to look at the candid photo Jaehyun texted you. While you’re busy looking at the photo and whining over how Jaehyun took the worst angle of your face, you barely notice how Jaehyun’s staring at the same photo but on his phone.
There’s a soft smile beginning to spread across his lips. In the photo, you’re looking at him with doe-eyes. You’re glowing because the sun is facing you. You look… beautiful. Why is he studying the photo longer than he should?
He sets it as his lockscreen.
The third letter from your future self comes a couple of days after you and Jaehyun spent a day at the town fair. But this time, it doesn’t come in a bottle. This time, you find it in your mailbox after your mother asked you to check if she or Jaehyun’s mother had any mail. It’s quite alarming, but it was like you were destined to check the mail that morning.
“Any mail for us?”
You shake your head. “Nope. I’ll head back to bed, I’m still a bit tired.”
Your letter is tucked underneath your bra and once you arrive in your room, you pull it out. You sit against your door, ripping the letter open to see your handwriting.
Y/N,
On August 14th, Yeona and her family will come over for dinner. You and Jaehyun will continue to put up your fake dating act. But it won’t be for long.
After your dinner, Jaehyun will tell Yeona the truth. I don’t remember what his excuse was, but I do remember Yeona feeling relieved because at that very moment, she will confess to him.
You will feel like shit. I’m not even going to sugarcoat it. But there is one thing I want you to do, and that is to stop them from kissing out on the front porch.
That shit hurt like a buttcheek on a stick and I don’t want you to experience it.
“Y/N, make sure to wake up before five because the Kims are coming over for dinner!”
You let out a frustrated sigh. You read the last few words from the letter before crumbling it up into a paper ball. You aim for the trash can near your bedside table.
Things get better and I will make sure that they get better.
The paper ball goes into the trash can perfectly. Swish.
Trust me.
The Kims arrive right on the dot with a tray of lasagna and a bowl of what seems like potato salad. You find it hilarious how Jaehyun’s dressed up with an odd mixture of casual and formal clothing. He has his hair slicked back with hair gel and he’s wearing his best white button-up shirt with.. pink house slippers?
You’re not sure what kind of look he was going for, but Yeona doesn’t seem to mind.
“Come on in! Let’s eat!”
Everything is laid out on the dining table. Yeona looks at the two of you with suspicion as Jaehyun sits next to her and not you. You look at Jaehyun confusedly and he barely notices. You take a quick look underneath the table to see Jaehyun’s foot and you give it a gentle kick. He jumps in his seat, glaring at you.
“I’ll switch seats with Y/N,” Yeona chuckles softly. “It’d be best for the couple to sit next to each other, right?”
Your mother and Jaehyun’s mother share a confused look before bursting out into giggles. Your mother shakes her head, waving her hand. “Oh no, sweetheart, they’re not dating—”
“We are—” Jaehyun tries to cut your mother off but he stops himself when his mother gives him a warning look.
You begin to panic. “I—we just started dating two weeks ago—”
Yeona frowns. “But I thought you’ve been dating each other for a year—”
“Let’s eat, shall we?” Jaehyun insists, flashing an uneasy, nervous smile.
You shouldn’t be feeling embarrassed. In fact, Jaehyun was the one who brought you into this mess. From your future self, you know that the truth will be exposed during dinner with the Kims. But you weren’t prepared for this.
“I’m so confused.” Yeona looks at the both of you.
“Yeona, can we—I can explain—can we please talk outside?” Jaehyun asks, moreso pleads.
She looks at him with a wavering glance. “S-Sure. We can talk.”
The dinner continues and there’s nothing but tension and awkwardness in the room. You’re left all alone with the adults as Yeona and Jaehyun step outside to have a talk. You’re picking at your asparagus and steak, pondering on whether you should stuff your face as if it’ll make you disappear into thin air. You could feel burning stares from your mother and your eyes meet hers. She’s looking at you like she demands an explanation but all you could do is shrug your shoulders and wince.
“So, Yeona’s in third year university like Jaehyun and Y/N?” Jaehyun’s mother tries to change the atmosphere.
Yeona’s parents nod and flash a small smile. “She’s studying Economics.”
“Wow,” Jaehyun’s father muses. “I guess Yeona and I will get along quite well.”
“Really?” Yeona’s mother says.
His father nods. “I graduated from an Economics program. If she has any questions throughout her undergrad, she can definitely ask me.”
You’re starting to feel insecure.
“Let me just say that Yeona is very beautiful, just like you.” Jaehyun’s mother tells Yeona’s mother, who lets out a giggle.
“Oh, that’s very flattering to hear. I try my best to stay young. But it’s nice to see that it’s been passed down to Yeona.”
Jaehyun’s mother smiles. “She grew up very well.”
You will feel like shit. I’m not even going to sugarcoat it.
Hell, you weren’t sure how bad it was going to be but now you know. You feel like utter shit. This isn’t even your fault. If Jaehyun didn’t lead you into this mess, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. You wouldn’t be sitting in the midst of a conversation between adults, feeling like you’re invisible. Your insecurities wouldn’t be getting the best of you.
You slowly get up from your seat. “Sorry, excuse me, I’m going to get some fresh air.”
They don’t even notice your absence. Your feet somehow drag you to the front porch, where Jaehyun and Yeona are having their talk.
But there is one thing I want you to do, and that is to stop them from kissing out on the front porch.
That shit hurt like a buttcheek on a stick and I don’t want you to experience it.
Your eyebrows raise. You shut your eyes, mustering up all the courage. Your hand grabs the doorknob and you open the door just in time to see Jaehyun and Yeona leaning in. They pull away from each other and look at you with surprise.
You fake a gasp. “Oh, sorry! I—I just wanted to see if everything was okay.”
“I—”
“I’m so sorry.” You apologize again, closing the door.
You lean against the door and feel your eyes well up with tears.
Even though the kiss didn’t happen, it still hurt.
It still hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.
The fourth letter from your future self comes from you on your last day at the cottage. Jaehyun and Yeona are officially dating and they plan on maintaining a long distance relationship when Yeona flies back to London for university. Spending the rest of your summer heartbroken felt like shit. You’re kind of glad that summer is over and you don’t have to spend any more days at the cottage in nothing but the comfort of your room.
The letter arrives in the mail, just like the third letter.
“Is this the last bag?”
You shove the letter into your pocket. Jaehyun looks at you suspiciously, specifically at your pocket. He’s holding your duffle bag packed with your clothes. You nod your head. “Yeah, that’s the last bag.”
“What’s in your pocket?”
“Nothing!” You blurt out.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” He walks past you to place your duffle bag into the trunk of your car. He dusts his hands off.
“It’s nothing, I swear.” You reassure him.
You feel your heart stop when Jaehyun starts poking your sides to tickle you. You feel his hand sneak into your pocket to grab the letter. He has it in his hands and he’s just about to read the writing on the envelope when you snatch it from him.
“Hey, is that a love letter?” He grins, reaching out to snatch the letter from you.
You gasp. “No! Jaehyun! Please give it back. It’s not for you to see—”
He’s waving the envelope in the air and you’re jumping up and down to get it from him. He’s continuing to wave it in the air until you jump too high. When your feet land on the ground, you stumble and place your hands on his shoulders to prevent yourself from falling over. He wraps his other arm around your waist to stop you from falling over. The both of you freeze up.
You slowly look up to see him looking at you with an expression you can’t seem to make out. His hand that’s holding the letter is still in the air. The both of you stare into each other’s eyes, trying to read each other’s looks. His eyes trail down to your lips, which are inches away from his. You’re the first one to snap out of it, pulling away from him.
You reach up to snatch the letter from him. He looks at you with a daze.
“Sorry.” He says softly.
“Is everything packed up?”
You don’t say anything to him. You turn around to see your mother locking the door to the cottage. You realize that everyone, except your mother, witnessed what had just happened between you and Jaehyun. You feel your cheeks heat up again.
“Well, I guess summer’s over.” Your mother sighs sadly. “I can’t wait until we see each other for Christmas, though!”
“Jaehyun, are you sure you packed everything?”
Jaehyun looks at his father who’s seated in the driver’s seat with his head poking out the window. He nods his head. “I’m one hundred percent sure.”
“I guess this is it. See you guys later.” Your mother says.
There’s no such thing as goodbye hugs when it comes to your families. That’s because you know you will see each other eventually.
You turn back around to face Jaehyun. He’s still looking at you with that look you can’t read.
“I’ll see you later, dork.” You mumble, reaching up to ruffle his hair.
“You better kick ass at school.” He points at you as the both of you head to your cars.
“You too.”
“I’ll miss you, dork.” He adds.
“Me too, loser.”
And man, the moment you hop into your car, you’re already missing him a bit too much.
You almost forget about the fourth letter.
You remember the letter when you reach the gas station. Your parents are inside the convenience store for a washroom break. You rip the envelope open to see a small piece of paper. The letter is short this time, you note.
Y/N,
It’s been a while since I wrote you the last letter. You’re probably on your way back home from the cottage. You’re probably missing Jaehyun already.
I’m writing this letter to you a bit too early. You can definitely come back and read this letter again when the day is near.
December 24th. Christmas Eve. You and Jaehyun will be home just in time for Christmas. You will have the usual Christmas Eve dinner with the Jeongs.
However, your train ride back to the city will be delayed. Jaehyun will be the one to pick you up at the train station. This is your second chance to make him fall in love with you because on Christmas Eve, it will be the first snowfall of the season.
Now, what is the significance of the first snowfall of the season, you ask?
As your mother hops into the car, you fold the letter and subtly put it inside of your pocket. “Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“What’s so special about the first snowfall of the winter season?” You ask.
She lets out a snort. “You’re twenty-one and you don’t know what the first snowfall means? Gosh, you’re so inexperienced when it comes to dating.”
You chuckle. “What does it mean?”
“Have you noticed the brutal amount of couples out on dates on the first snowfall of the season?”
You shake your head. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, I realized there are a big amount of couples out that day.”
She hums in reply. “They say that if you are planning on confessing your love to your crush, you should do it on the first snowfall. Not only is it romantic, but confessions that are made that day are always reciprocated.”
“Always?”
She smiles. “I claim this first hand because your father confessed to me on the first snowfall.”
December 24th.
Your future self proves to be right. You’re sitting in your seat, looking out of the window. The sky that was bright and blue when you hopped on the train is now dark. You can see the stars scattered across the sky. A couple of minutes later, the train operator announces that there is a huge delay and the arrival time will be an hour later than the expected time on your ticket.
You sigh. As you’re pulling out the letter to give it one last read, your phone buzzes in your pocket.
“Hello?”
“Y/N, your parents told me that your train has been delayed.”
You smile at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice on the other line of the phone call. “Yeah, my father’s going to pick me up so there’s nothing to worry—”
“I already insisted on picking you up instead. What time are you expected to arrive?” He asks.
You feel your heart flutter. “You’re going to pick me up?”
“Of course. I missed you, you twat. Also, we have to make a quick stop at the diner for your favourite cheesecake. They said that they’ll be open until midnight.” He replies.
“I almost forgot about that.” You chuckle. “I’m expected to arrive around ten. Are you sure you’re okay with picking me up?”
“I’m more than sure.” You can hear him smile. “I’ll see you at ten. Is there anything you want me to bring?”
“Just you.” You laugh. “And the car, of course.”
“Well, duh. We wouldn’t want to walk home with your heavy ass luggage, now would we?”
“Shut up.” He’s tugging at your heartstrings. “I’ll see you at ten, Jaehyun.”
As you’re hanging up on him, you turn the letter around to finish the last part of the letter that you haven’t read yet. You specifically left the last part to read on the day of because you were afraid you would forget what to do.
There’s something really crucial that you have to do. If you mess this up, everything will be put at risk. As I said, this is your second chance to make Jaehyun fall in love with you.
An hour goes by faster than you expected. You’re hopping off the train with your luggage. As you’re stepping out of the train station, you’re searching for a familiar car in the parking lot.
“Y/N!”
This is completely off topic but Jaehyun will look really cute. He will be sporting a scarf that covers half of his face. He will look extremely cuddly and soft.
“Jaehyun!”
When he reaches up to you, it will start to snow.
Indeed, as Jaehyun is a metre away from you, you start to see snowflakes falling from the sky. You can hear your mother’s words echo in your head. First snowfall and love confessions. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest. You’re not sure whether it's the cold wind or Jaehyun’s presence that’s making your cheeks red. You’d like to think it’s the former.
Jaehyun will stop to look up at the sky. He will say— “It’s snowing!”
“The first snowfall of the season.” You add, letting out a soft giggle. “Long time no see, dork.”
The first snowfall of the season will remind him of Yeona. A frown will threaten to spread across his lips but he won’t let it show. That’s because him and Yeona have been going through a rough patch in their long distance relationship. But he won’t tell you this until after the Christmas dinner when you’re both a little tipsy from the beer.
You won’t get drunk with him tonight because things will turn out different this time. However, I want you to ask him this— “Do you know what the first snowfall of the season means?”
He will answer with— “First snowfall means first love. It also means that the person you’re with on the first snowfall of the season will be the love of your life.”
You won’t expect his answer because it’s completely different to your mother’s take on the first snowfall’s significance. This will further stir up Jaehyun’s heart.
“Do you believe in it?” You let out a lighthearted chuckle. “If you do, then that means I’m the love of your life.”
He will jokingly say— “Why? Are you in love with me or something?”
This is the crucial moment. You must say— “Yes. I’m in love with you, Jaehyun.”
His face is washed with shock and confusion. You’re both standing outside of the train station. Your grip on the handles of your luggage tightens when Jaehyun doesn’t utter a single word out.
He will joke around even more and say— “You’re joking. Stop joking around, Y/N. I don’t think Yeona would like hearing you say that.”
And it will hurt like a bitch. But try your best to keep yourself together. I want you to avoid the topic and say— “Let’s get going before the diner closes. You know the Christmas dinner is not Christmas dinner without that bomb ass cheesecake.”
He tilts his head in confusion. Why are you avoiding the topic? Are you joking? Why does he feel relieved to hear your confession? He shouldn’t be. He musters up a smile.
“Let’s get going, then.”
The months and days after Christmas Eve and what seems like a rejected confession makes you heartbroken. Your roommate is tired of hearing you let out sad sighs and soft sobs throughout the day. But you couldn’t help it. Your future self told you that it will hurt like a bitch. It truly did feel like a bitch and it still does.
On the night of your last exam of your fourth year of university, you make a trip to your mailbox to find another letter. It’s the fifth letter from your future self.
You find yourself sitting in your dorm room all by yourself while your roommate is out partying. You open up the letter.
Y/N,
It still hurts like a bitch, right? Well, in this letter, I will tell you what happened that caused future Jaehyun to end up with someone else. I hope it will make you feel better.
On July 31st, we ended up going to the beach. We bumped into Yeona. Yeona ended up hanging out with us and I felt like a third wheeler. Yeona was sort of picking up the idea that Jaehyun and I were fake dating and that it was all just an act. The more they hung out that day, the more Jaehyun realized that his crush on her was more than just a crush.
That night, I cried to sleep, wishing that we went to the town fair instead.
On August 14th, Yeona and her parents came over for dinner. The dinner was awkward. However, after the dinner, Jaehyun asked Yeona if they could talk. I was busy doing the dishes until Mom asked if I could take the trash out. I remember walking out of the door to see them kissing out on the porch. It felt like shit.
He told her the truth. He told her that it was all just an act to make her fall in love with him.
That night, they were officially in a relationship.
On Christmas Eve, Jaehyun picked me up at the train station. We both noticed that it was the first snowfall of the season and we were joking around about its significance. He had jokingly asked if I was in love with him and I said no. I told him that I wasn’t in love with him.
Around that time, Yeona and Jaehyun have been arguing more frequently. They were going through a rough patch in their relationship. It was starting to make Jaehyun question whether he truly loved her or not.
But around that same time, Jaehyun was slowly catching feelings for me. He had jokingly asked if I was in love with him because he sincerely wanted to know and if I had said yes, it would’ve given him a clear sign.
Later that night, he told me about his rough time with Yeona. He was slightly drunk and confessed that he was catching feelings for me, but because I said I wasn’t in love with him, I made him realize that he’s truly in love with Yeona.
I think this is what made him sure of marrying her.
I regret lying to him. I wish I told him that I was in love with him.
I started writing letters to you, past self, in hopes that you would get them somehow. Mother said that she started getting letters from her future self when she turned eighteen. She said that if you start getting letters from your future self, it means that fate is trying to link you up with your soulmate in the past after failing to make it happen in the future.
I truly believe in it. And so I hope you get my letters to you, past self.
Rewrite your future.
Jaehyun and Yeona’s wedding is next month.
I’m still pondering on whether I should attend their wedding.
That night, you cried yourself to sleep. There is still much left to read from the letter, but you’re too sad and heartbroken to read the rest of it. You decide to save it for later, when the time comes.
Just like your future self, you hope that you will successfully rewrite your future.
Because you can’t imagine being in love with anyone else except Jaehyun.
You slam the trunk shut, dusting off your hands before hopping into the front seat of your car. Your father picked you up on move-out day. Although you were supposed to graduate this year, you decided to take an extra year just for good measure.
Your father starts the car. “We missed you so much.”
“I missed you guys too.” You smile while buckling in your seatbelt. You suddenly remember what your future self wrote in the fifth letter.
On the car ride home, Dad will ask you if you really don’t want to go up to the cottage this summer. “Hey, are you sure you don’t want to spend the summer up at the cottage?”
And as much as you want to go, tell him— “I think I’m going to pass this summer. I have a couple of online summer classes and staying up at the cottage will be a huge distraction.”
Here’s what happened. I decided to spend the summer up at the cottage anyway. It was extremely awkward. Yeona and Jaehyun took that summer as an opportunity to deepen their relationship. All I did that summer was cry my eyes out. What seemed like a relationship that was crumbling to pieces was mended back together the moment Jaehyun and Yeona reunited for the summer.
This time, you are not spending the summer up at the cottage. I want you to continue with that internship offer. I wish I did. I regret not doing it. I hope and wish your absence will stir up Jaehyun’s feelings for you.
“You’re right, honey. I think staying at home for your online courses is the best way to go.” Your father agrees.
“And it’s even better because if I pass one of the courses, I might be considered for an internship.” You beam at him.
“Really?”
“Really!” You exclaim.
He reaches out to ruffle your hair. “I am so proud of you, honey. You better kick some ass.”
But hey, at least something good will come out of your summer away from the cottage.
The sixth letter arrives months later. You’ve just graduated and this summer, you decided to give yourself a break and spend it up at the cottage with the Jeongs. This time, the sixth letter comes in a bottle that washes up the shore. You’re taking a hike all by yourself when you decide to read the letter. You take a seat on one of the stones overlooking the small town.
Y/N,
This summer up at the cottage is crucial.
August 8th. On that night, your family and Jeongs will have a bonfire. When both of your parents decide to head to bed early, they will leave the both of you together.
You check your phone for the date. It’s August 7th. You have one day to prepare. Your future self was considerate this time around.
You will most likely have a heart-to-heart talk with Jaehyun. He will tell you that he’s been pondering on whether he should propose to Yeona and ask her to marry him.
Later that day, you decide to sit out on the dock. You’re dipping your feet into the lake. Just the thought of Jaehyun proposing to someone else makes your heart ache. You can’t even imagine how your future self is coping with the heartbreak.
“Can I join you?”
You look over your shoulder to see Jaehyun. You pat a spot next to you. “Sure. Come here.”
He takes a seat next to you and dips his feet into the water. You’re both sitting next to each other in silence. You’re sure Jaehyun has a lot of questions he wants to ask you.
“You know, I missed you last summer.” He starts off.
“I missed you too. Sorry I couldn’t come, I had a lot of things to do.” You say softly. “How are things with you and Yeona?”
“Things are well.” He smiles.
Oh how that smile makes your heart shatter in ways he doesn’t even know. “That sounds great.”
“Yeah. It’s a shame that Yeona and her parents aren’t spending their summer here.” He frowns.
“Yeah, why not?”
“Her cousin’s getting married.” He replies.
“Do you miss her?”
He lets out a sigh. “I miss her a lot.”
The rest of your afternoon is spent sitting at the dock in silence. There’s surely a lot on both of your minds.
August 8th.
You almost forget what to do when the day arrives. But you’re glad that you remembered when your parents called it a night and left you and Jaehyun outside near the bonfire. You’re roasting marshmallows with Jaehyun for s’mores.
Start the conversation. “You look like you have a lot on your mind, Jaehyun.”
He snaps out of his gaze to glance at you. “Do I?”
You chuckle, nodding your head at his marshmallow that’s burnt. “Clearly.”
“Ah,” he cusses, pulling his burnt marshmallow away from the fire. He throws it out and replaces it with a new marshmallow. “I guess I do have a lot on my mind.”
Jaehyun is thinking about whether— “Do you think I should propose to Yeona?”
“You’re planning to ask her to marry you?” You ask.
He nods. “Yeah. What do you think?”
He will ask you for your opinion. This is what you should say— “Do you love her?”
“I love her—”
“With all your heart?”
He will hesitate. It will take him a while to say he loves her with conviction. But after a couple of minutes, he will say— “I love her with all my heart.”
That’s a lie. Ask him this— “How do you know for sure?”
“When I met her for the first time, I just knew.” He says, his look turning distant. You’re afraid that his marshmallow is going to burn again. “She makes me feel happy. Whenever I’m with her, I feel special. I feel like the luckiest man on Earth.”
Tell him this— “Funny because that’s how I feel whenever I’m with you.”
“W-What?”
He’s looking at you now. He’s staring at you. You’re not sure where to look, so you focus on your marshmallow that’s browning. You pull it away from the fire to replace it with a new one.
He will feel confused. But you have to remind him that you confessed to him on the night of Christmas Eve.
“I told you that I’m in love with you, remember? On Christmas Eve? When you picked me up at the train station?” You try to help him recall.
His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “You weren’t joking? I thought you were joking—”
He will tell you that he thought you were joking. But this is what you tell him— “I wasn’t joking, Jaehyun. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for the longest time.”
“Y/N—”
“But you’re in love with Yeona and she’s in love with you.” You cut him off before shoving your first s’mores of the night into your mouth.
He’s not sure what to say. You say that like it’s nothing to you. It kind of throws him off.
“Jaehyun, your marshmallow’s burnt again.”
“Shit.”
Jaehyun will feel troubled. Your conversation with him ends there. Things will be awkward for the rest of the summer and the both of you won’t talk to each other.
But there’s nothing to worry about.
Things will get back to normal. On your last day up at the cottage, the both of you will act like nothing ever happened.
The seventh letter comes on the day you’re moving out of your house. You’re making a courageous move to a new city, where you’ll be living in an apartment and working at your new job. Jaehyun has no idea that you’re moving out. Heck, he has no idea that you’re moving out of town. But you’ll tell him… eventually.
“You’re sure you’ve packed everything with you?” Your mother asks as she sniffs. Her eyes are glassy.
You look at her with an endearing smile. “Mom, the more you cry, the more I’ll dread moving out.”
“Shut up, let me have my moment. You’re growing up too fast, honey.” She wipes a tear that streams down her cheek.
“She’ll be fine. Besides, we’re going to visit her every two weeks.” Your father reassures her. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
“If you hate it there, you can always come back here.” Your mother rests her hands on your shoulders. “We’ll be ready to pick you up at the train station too.”
“I’ll let you know if anything happens.” You reassure her as you’re walking towards the car.
“We should get going before your mother starts crying again.”
“We probably should.” You chuckle.
“Make sure you eat your meals!” Your mother exclaims as you and your father are hopping into the car.
The car ride to the train station feels different. You’re not sure what the future has in store for you. You’re not even sure if you’ve successfully rewrote your future. Your mission isn’t even complete for Jaehyun is still in a relationship with Yeona.
You arrive at the train station earlier than the scheduled departure time. You decided to open the seventh letter and read it to kill some time. You take a seat at one of the benches.
Y/N,
This is my final letter to you, past self.
You’re probably on a train ride to a new town for your new job. Or you’re probably still waiting for the train to arrive.
The future feels uncertain, right? If Jaehyun is still in a relationship with Yeona, don’t worry, things are slowly working out. You’ll have to give it some time.
You will lose touch with Jaehyun for a while. He will be mad at you for leaving him without telling him. But make sure you both reconcile this Christmas. As for Yeona, she might give you a call a few months later, just to check up on you and stuff.
I just wanted to let you know that you’ve done your best and if things don’t turn out the way you wanted it to be, everything will be okay. Life will go on.
However, I am sure that the future will be different. I have a great feeling inside of me that things will be different. I am sure that you and Jaehyun will end up together this time—
“Y/N!”
You look up from your letter. It’s become an instinct for you to hide the letter when you hear someone calling your name out. Standing a couple of metres away, you spot a breathless Jaehyun.
“Jaehyun?”
He’s rushing over to you. You’re standing up to greet him until he crashes you into a tight embrace. You’re caught off guard. “Jaehyun, what are you doing here?”
He pulls away from the hug. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? What are you doing here?”
You’re confused. Your future self just told you that you will lose touch with Jaehyun for a while. But why is he standing in front of you?
“I—” You begin. “I got hired at a company out of town. I moved out. I’m moving into an apartment in another city—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He frowns.
Huh? This is the first time your future self was wrong. Does this mean that you can disregard your future self’s seventh letter? Does this mean that you successfully rewrote your future? But your mission failed. Jaehyun’s not in love with you. What is going on?
“I figured it would be best not to tell you because I knew that you would hold me back,” you explain. “And if you held me back, I don’t think I’d ever move out.”
“But you should’ve told me. I came over to take you out for lunch only to find out that you’re moving out of town and into a new city. Do you know how sad I felt?” He frowns.
“I’m sorry—”
“And then I started wondering why you didn’t tell me about this. I started to wonder if I did something wrong. I couldn’t think straight. I drove all the way here in hopes that I don’t miss you and that I catch you right before your ride.” He rambles on. “If I didn’t catch you on time, I wouldn’t know what to do.”
“Jaehyun—”
“I broke up with Yeona.”
“What?!” You blurt out. “Why would you do that?!”
He looks at you for a brief moment. You’re looking at him with anger. Why would he break up with her?
“Why did you break up with her? She’s in love with you, Jaehyun! You’re supposed to propose to her—”
“Because I’m in love with you.” He breathes out.
“Huh?”
Yeah, you’re really confused. What’s going on?
“I’m in love with you.” He lets out a nervous laugh.
“You’re in love with me?”
“I’m in love with you, stupid.”
You blink. “Jaehyun, you’re not making any sense right now. It was just weeks ago when you asked me if you should ask Yeona to marry you. It was just weeks ago when you told me that you missed her a lot. It was just weeks ago when you thought my confession was a joke—”
“On Christmas Eve, I picked you up. Yeona and I were going through a rough time in our relationship and I was starting to question if we were meant to be together. I asked and begged for a sign.”
“A sign?”
“The first snowfall. You and I were together on the night of Christmas Eve, where we both witnessed the first snowfall. You asked me if I knew what it meant,” he explains. “I thought, ‘Is this the sign I’ve been looking for?’ and then I joked around asking if you were in love with me, not expecting you to say yes. And you did. I couldn’t believe it.”
“Jaehyun—”
“And that summer where you didn’t come up to the cottage. I felt lonely even though I was with Yeona. Things just didn’t feel the same.” He lets out a shaky laugh. “Everything started to remind me of you. I just knew Yeona was annoyed about it. I kept talking about how this and that reminded me of you. It was all starting to make sense.”
“But you still had thoughts about asking her to marry you.” You say and he shakes his head.
“I asked you for your opinion on it because I couldn’t trust my own decision. I wanted to see if you would say no. A part of me was begging you to say no.” He explains further. “But you told me that you love me and that your confession wasn’t a joke. That’s when I knew.”
“So,” you mumble. “You’re in love with me?”
“I confessed my feelings for you three times already.”
“But I want to hear it again—”
“The train is arriving in two minutes. The train is arriving in two minutes.” The speaker announces. You and Jaehyun look at each other.
“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He confesses again. “But do you really have to leave me here?”
“I’m in love with you too, Jaehyun.” You feel your heart doing cartwheels. “And yes, I have to go, Jaehyun. I can’t keep taking the train everyday to work.”
“Can I move in with you, then?”
“Not until you give me a kiss first—”
“How about I marry you instead?”
“Babe, I’m going to get the last box downstairs!”
You hear Jaehyun close the door as he goes downstairs to get his last move-in box. It didn’t take long for Jaehyun to make the trip to your apartment. In fact, it’s been a week since you moved in and he’s already moving in with you.
You’re unpacking his clothes from his bags until you open one of the small pockets to see an envelope. Out of curiosity, you pull the envelope out of the pocket.
The envelope has Jaehyun’s name written on the front in his… handwriting? You open the envelope to pull out a long letter. As you’re unfolding the letter, a soft gasp escapes your lips.
To Jaehyun,
Don’t be alarmed. You recognize the handwriting, right? It’s because it is your handwriting.
I am you from the future.
You’re probably wondering how and why you’re getting this letter. Read this letter carefully because it will be a lot to take in.
I made the biggest mistake and I need you to fix it.
Do you remember Y/N, your childhood best friend? Y/N is your soulmate. You are destined to be with her. As I write this letter to you, I have lost almost all forms of communication with Y/N.
I made the biggest mistake of falling in love with someone else. I fell in love with someone who I am not destined to be with. I married this person and have been married to her for three years. We had just filed for a divorce a month ago.
I don’t want you to experience what I went through, past Jaehyun. I don’t want you to lose Y/N. I’m sure you don’t want to lose Y/N either. Y/N is everything you could ever want.
Here are three things I need you to remember:
The moment you realize you’re in love with Y/N, you must tell her before it’s too late.
Y/N will be moving out when you get this letter. Y/N will be moving into another city and won’t tell you.
Y/N’s going to board the train at 4pm. You must get to her before then if you plan on confessing to her.
Those feelings you have for Y/N? Yes, they are true and sincere. Y/N has been in love with you for the longest time. It was my biggest mistake of thinking it was a joke and letting her become the one that got away.
“Babe, did you know there’s an ice cream parlour across the street?” You hear Jaehyun enter the apartment.
He places the box down onto the floor and opens it up to start unpacking. You laugh to yourself, wiping away a couple of tears that flow down your cheeks.
Who would’ve thought that future Jaehyun would be writing letters to his past self too?
You feel relieved.
You’ve rewritten your future.
You’re carefully placing the letter back in its envelope and back into the pocket of his bag. You zip up the pocket and let out a sigh.
“Really? We should probably get ice cream after we unpack your stuff.”
Don’t be a hopeless fool like me.
You’ll regret it. Ever since I married someone else, all I’ve ever done was reminisce and regret.
I hope you get to her on time. You must get to her on time. Or else you’ll be a little too late… again.
She’ll be waiting. In fact, all she’s done was wait for the perfect time and moment.
I wish you the best of luck,
Future Jaehyun.
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loving you is a losing game | the aftermath.
pairing: park jimin x sister!reader ; kim taehyung x actress!reader fandom: bts warnings: actress!reader ; language genre: angst ; fluff word count: 4k+ previous: x
summary: all that jimin ever wanted to do was protect you. this time, however, he failed you and his best friend, taehyung.
a/n: I told y’all I wouldn’t let you wait this time haha. I’m super glad to see all your feedback though, all your messages were wonderful and I love you all <3
Jimin had left that night when you and Taehyung had broken up. He couldn't bear looking into his eyes, knowing that he caused all this hurt to both you and him.
But when he walked back into the apartment the next day, he quietly sat down next to Taehyung for the first time since he found out about you and him and found Taehyung smiling at him.
Despite that, Jimin could tell that it didn't reach his eyes.
Throughout the next weeks, their relationship got better again. Still, he caught Taehyung stare at his phone so often and whenever the message from that special someone didn't come, he put it down and closed his eyes, visibly disappointed and sad. Jimin never mentioned you to him in those weeks, not knowing how to even bring it all up, but Taehyung didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about you anyway.
Simultaneously, Jimin tried calling you multiple times, but was never able to get a hold of you.
It was only when his mother finally called and told him that you had come home that he decided to drive up to Busan in hopes of mending the relationship with you... if that was even possible at thit point.
You weren't there when he arrived though.
“Where is she?” he asked his mother as soon as he stepped foot inside the house.
“I don’t know... she went out a few hours ago and hasn’t come back since,” his mother fidgeted with the kitchen towel in her hand, “I’m worried, Jimin.”
Jimin knew were you were.
Where you always were when you were upset and couldn’t stand being at home.
It was only a 10 minute walk to a secluded area at the beach where him and you used to spend all your childhood at. You often knocked heads with the family and whenever you did, you came here to think. The only one that you ever told about this place was Jimin, the only one in the family that you always knew you could lean onto.
Funny how times had changed.
And indeed, there you were, sitting in the sand, staring out at the beach, not moving a muscle when he sat down next to you.
That’s a good start, right?
Jimin tried to find the right thing to say, but he couldn't. Nothing made sense when it was all his fault, when he was simply too proud to see you and his best friend dating, thinking that it was somehow wrong.
But what was wrong was you and Taehyung feeling this way because of him. He had only seen Taehyung, but he saw how heartbroken he was. He could only imagine what you must feel like, as Taehyung was the one that broke up with you... for Jimin.
“I looked up to you my entire life, you know? Way before you became an idol, even. Every time someone would ask who I wanted to be when I grew up, I answered Park Jimin. People would laugh, but I didn't care, because you were my biggest hero. You were the one person that always made people happy, were always happy to bring smiles into people’s faces and where always there when I needed you. And I was always so proud to call you my brother,” you turned your head to look at him, him looking right back at you with wide eyes, “Now I wish I didn't even know you.”
“You don't mean that,” he said quietly, but his voice broke nonetheless.
“I guess it doesn't really matter anymore.”
“It does,” Jimin instantly grabbed your hands, “Please, listen to me. Let me explain why..-”
“BigHit was very kind and introduced me to someone from Marvel. They offered me a role in their newest movie,” you interrupted him mid-sentence.
BigHit? Jimin was taken aback at first, but then his blood instantly started to boil, knowing damn well they did that because they wanted you to leave for Jimin and Taehyung to mend their relationship, even if it meant further breaking that of him and you.
They couldn’t care less about your relationship with Jimin.
“I'm leaving next week and if things go well, I might stay. Being a Hollywood actress surely isn't so bad.”
“(Y/N), listen to me,” he shook his head to get BigHit out of his thoughts, “I just want you to..-”
“No, Jimin,” you got up, him instantly doing the same, “I don't think you realize just how much I meant what I said before.”
“But we're family! Stop saying these things, they don't make sense,” Jimin was a very emotional person. He couldn’t hold back his tears when he realized you were slipping out of his grasp fast. You were still staying strong though, “You're my baby sister. The one I'm always supposed to protect, the one that I can't lose...”
You gulped down hard, knowing the impact of what you said next, “You already have.”
You walked away after that, not being able to see the dispair in his eyes, before he slowly crumbled and started sobbing.
And even though you wanted to be cold, when you walked away, a few tears escaped your eyes, knowing that you just lost the love of your life and brother in a matter of weeks.
But that was ultimately the reason why you had to leave. The loss of such important people, where everything reminded you of both, you wouldn’t be able to function anymore. So you decided that leaving was the best option.
Your mother must have known about this beforehand, because when Jimin walked back into the house, she instantly opened up her arms for him, her son cradling against her chest and crying into it like he was a young boy again.
“It’s going to be okay... she’ll forgive you,” she whispered into his hair, gently rubbing over his back, “Just give her time. Time and space is what she needs most right now.”
He knew that she was right, but not doing anything and just letting you leave was so fucking hard for him. He ended up staying at his parents the entire week, not knowing what to do with himself otherwise.
And it was only when he came home a week later and you had already left for the US, that he looked right into Taehyung’s eyes and knew he had to be the one to tell him that you were gone.
“Hollywood,” he repeated, a small smile spreading on his face. Jimin couldn’t see his eyes, but he assumed that it didn’t reach them, “She always dreamt of that.”
“Yeah... she did,” Jimin gulped down hard and continued to stare at Taehyung, because he could tell that he wouldn’t hold out for much longer.
And indeed, within seconds, he started sobbing, so hard, that Jimin instantly pulled him into his arms and tried to calm his shaking body best friend down.
And once again, all that Jimin could think was: this is all my fault. I destroyed their lives... their future.
In all these months that you were gone, Jimin didn't give up, even if his mother told him that it was no use. He kept trying to text and call, not caring that you never responded. The only way he could see was through promotional photos from set, through interviews and the only way to really know what was going on with you was when his mother told him about it.
With each and every day you slipped more and more away from him, until one day he realized that he completely lost you, yet Taehyung was right at his side, holding his hand at a concert and smiling at him, showing him that he was still here... because he chose him.
Taehyung chose him over you.
And as Jimin was looking into his best friend’s eyes, filled with tears, Taehyung instantly knew what he was thinking about... or rather who.
Not wanting ARMY to catch on, Taehyung pulled him into his arms and held onto him firmly.
“It's my fault,” he whispered into his ear, “We lost her... because of me.”
And unfortunately, he was right.
That night, Jimin and Taehyung sat down together on their balcony at home and talked about the entire thing for the first time... ever.
“How did it start?” Jimin asked.
Taehyung was hesitant at first, but then he started pouring his heart out, seemingly happy that he was finally able to share this story with someone, “It was when we had a concert here years ago. She came to watch it and I was having a really bad day. I locked myself in a room and just cried... or at least I thought I locked the door. She walked in on me having that mental breakdown. And you know her... she worried like crazy,” he let out a laugh, “She always worried about me. Right from the start.”
“She got that from our mom,” he said with a small smile.
“She stayed with me that day until I stopped crying, held my hand and told me that things would get better again. And the next day, she texted me this entire paragraph about how good I was doing and how proud she was, not just of me, but of the band. I felt... really bad about her worrying so much over me, so I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me. She agreed, but then we couldn't agree on a restaurant and ended up eating Ramen at the Han. We talked all night long... just talked...”
Jimin listened tentatively, but his eyes became sadder within each second again, especially when he saw how much this still affected Taehyung. The more he talked about you, the more his eyes lit up, but then that flame quickly disappeared again when he realized this was all in the past.
“We did that once a week, then. Just meeting up to talk. We did nothing else for four months. And then one day I looked at her and I realized that I had fallen for her... without me even having noticed it. It just hit me right in the face. Like... wow. I really love that girl, you know?”
“Did you tell her?”
“Couldn't. I felt really bad for even having these feelings. Because... you know,” he looked at Jimin, but he didn't say that it was because of him, “I hid it for months until she called me one night, completely drunk and asked me to pick her up. I did, drove her home, got her into bed and that's when she began crying, poured her heart out and told me that she had fallen in love with me, but hated herself for it, because she knew that loving me would hurt you. And she couldn't hurt you, not when you meant the world to her.”
Great, he thought this couldn't get any worse.
“We put the cards out on the table a week later and realized that we only had two options. End it before it even began or try and keep it a secret so that you wouldn't get affected by it. We picked the second option and promised to not tell you until we warmed you up to the idea. But... that obviously hadn’t worked out.”
Jimin gulped down his drink in one go, swirled it around in his mouth for a moment, then quietly said after a moment: “Why'd you choose me when you loved her so much?”
A question that he had always wondered about.
“I thought it was the right decision.”
“You thought?”
Taehyung looked up at the stars, “You did so much for me in the past... I wouldn’t be here as the person that I am if it hadn’t been for you. So at the time, it made sense. But now that I see my empty future... I see that I fucked up. Because she was my future.”
Jimin didn't reply, just lowered his head in shame.
“I even bought her a ring, you know?” Taehyung laughed, though only to hide the hurt, “But that's on me that I didn't give it to her. I thought I still had time.”
“Maybe you do.”
Taehyung looked at his best friend, the sad smile back on his face, “It’s easier to forgive a brother than it is to forgive someone like me. And I can’t even blame her,” he pulled out the ring from his pocket, a beautiful ring that looked a lot like an engagement ring, but Jimin didn’t ask any further questions, “I’d pick her any day now over everything and everyone. But I don’t have that chance anymore. So all I hope for now is that you and her will be happy again.”
Jimin sighed deeply, “If I could turn back time, I would. I would do things differently, give you my blessing and tell you that I'm happy for you.”
Taehyung just leaned back, still playing with the ring as he continued to look up at the stars, “I know you would.”
You had successfully avoided your family for a while now, always putting your career first and not looking at anything other than. Your parents were often angry, up until you literally flew them out because there was no way you’d step foot into Korea again so soon.
But while you were now one of Hollywood’s upcoming actresses due to your hard work, your oldest brother had found love and was getting married. And well... this one, you couldn't get out of.
“Thanks for coming,” your brother hugged you when you finally arrived at the venue, “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” you smiled, “And I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to finally get to meet the lucky woman.”
“Ha, you're just saying that, you'll tell embarrassing stories about me the moment that you meet her.”
You just wiggled your eyebrows, then smiled even brighter when you heard your mother let out a loud squeal and pull you into her arms, your father hugging both of you, not wanting to wait any longer for his daughter to be in his arms.
“Finally, my beautiful daughter,” she leaned back a little, tears in her eyes, making you and your brother chuckle.
“Mom, you're not supposed to cry yet.”
“Ah, stop it,” she hit your brother and then turned him around, “What are you even doing here, you need to get ready. I'll help you. And you? Don't run off, alright? I want to spend some time with my daughter.”
“I won't,” you chuckled and watched them disappear, your father just following them with a chuckle.
And of course, there was one person missing in the mix. Should have known that he’d show up sooner, rather than later.
“You look beautiful,” the voice made you take in a deep breath, then let it out once you were looking at him.
He wasn't the confident man that you once know standing there. He was unsure, nervous, sad, but at the same time, happy to see you.
“Thank you.”
“I wasn't sure whether or not you'd come. If I had known..-”
“Don't be ridiculous, you're his brother too.”
“I wasn't talking about me.”
A second later, Bangtan joined him, Taehyung immediately stopping when he saw you.
After all this time, you thought that you were over it. You thought that if you were to ever see him again, you’d just keep your cool, smile and be graceful about it, but your heart seemed to break all over again.
If it hadn’t been for Jeongguk, you maybe even would have started to cry as all the memories were flooding back in. Especially the ones about the break-up.
“I saw your movie,” Jeongguk beamed, “You were so cool!”
“Thanks,” you shook your head a little, now focusing on the youngest member so that you didn’t have to look at either Taehyung, nor Jimin anymore, “I should.. probably go inside and say hello to everyone.”
Jimin took a step forward, his hand reaching out, but then he quickly dropped it, just like his shoulders did.
None of them were affected by you, only Jimin and Taehyung. Both of them were left standing there, even though the others followed you inside.
Taehyung was the first to speak: “I shouldn't be here. I'll only make her uncomfortable.”
“No, please. Please, stay.”
It was the desperation in his eyes that made Taehyung nod, ultimately.
Still, he didn't feel like he belonged here anymore. Not when he broke your heart and ruined so much in your family.
And throughout the entire wedding, he couldn't focus on anything but you. And as if you could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head, he often found you turn around to look at him, Taehyung quickly averting his gaze to look somewhere else instead.
On a more positive note, the celebration was beautiful, your brother's wife was glowing and he was the happiest you had ever seen him. Even if you had wanted to leave early... you couldn't. You had missed this, missed him, missed your mother and father, missed the memories all these three brought you.
And if you were being honest... you even missed Jimin.
A conversation that you had with your mother a while ago came back:
“He visits a lot these days, you know? Jimin, I mean. He always goes up to your room and makes sure that it’s cleaned... just in case you’re coming back anytime soon.”
“I won’t,” you said plainly.
You heard your mother sigh on the other end of the phone, “You know, (Y/N), I will never presume to know what it must have felt like, your brother doing this to you and your partner betraying you like this. But do you want it to be like this for the rest of your life? Do you want to hate Jimin forever?”
“I don’t hate Jimin,” you hadn’t even thought about it, were even surprised when you said it, “I just.. don’t know how to forgive him.”
“You won’t know until you talk to him again, my love. You can ignore him for the next years to come, but you won’t come any closer to forgiving him. So if that is truly what you want... then talk to him.”
And so after you gulped down your champagne and took a deep breath, you walked outside and joined your brother that was standing on his own.
“So, you'll be the next to get married?” Jimin was so surprised when you started to talking to him as he was getting some fresh air outside, but you didn’t look angry. Maybe unsure of how to talk to him, but not hostile.
“What? With whom?” he laughed nervously, “I haven’t had a girlfriend in years.”
“Ah, I'm sure mom has a few girls that she's eyeing. What was that one girl’s name... the daughter of the baker.”
“Please, don't. I still have trauma from that awkward date that she forced on me,” you both snorted and suddenly the atmosphere between you felt like what it once was. And Jimin hated to ruin it, but he had to know: “Are you okay? I mean.. we haven't talked in a long time and I only hear what mom tells me.”
“You know how it is when your career is at its peek. A lot of stress, but a lot of rewards too.”
“I wasn't talking about your career, I was talking about you.”
You pondered over your next words for a moment, then you said: “I had a lot of time to think about everything. About my life,” you began to smile, even if only just a little bit, “I don’t know when I’ll be able to look at you and not feel hurt. But... when I look at you now, I also realize that I’ve missed you. And if my heart tells me that, then I can’t really hate you, right? So I would like to... I don’t know. Talk. A little. Maybe.”
And his entire stance changed instantly. His shoulder slumped, he began taking in a sharp breath of air and he was on the verge of tears.
“No, don't cry,” you shook your head, even let out a little laugh, “I’m just saying that I’d like to try again. You’re my big brother and... mom is right. I don’t want to spend my life trying to hate someone that I still love. Deep down.”
“I'd like that,” he said, pressing his fingers into his eyes when he couldn’t control the tears anymore.
You just smirked.
The wedding was slowly dissolving. The first guests had left hours ago and now it was only the family left, but even those were beginning to say their goodbye’s.
At a table, Bangtan was sitting with your brother, laughing wholeheartedly.
But one person was missing.
You walked back into the room where your brother and his wife had gotten married and found him standing at the altar, staring at it.
It was hard for you to come up with something to say, so you just waited until he finally noticed that you were here.
“Always thought I’d see you in a hall like this with a wedding dress on while you’re walking towards me, you know?” Taehyung said with a sad smile.
“It probably would have been like that if you hadn’t chosen my brother that night,” you approached him, to Taehyung’s surprise.
“Yeah, I don’t think he looks as pretty as you would in a wedding dress.”
This caught you off-guard. So much, that you actually began to laugh.
He always knew how to break the ice.
“Did you know that he used to wear mom’s dresses and play teaparty with me when we were kids? I thought he looked really pretty.”
“That’s very valuable information that I will bring up at the right time, thank you very much.”
Given your uncomfortable and awkward hello earlier, he hadn’t expected you to talk so casually with each other, but... maybe time healed some wounds.
Taehyung wanted to take a step forward to be closer to you, but he wasn’t sure if you were okay with that, so he just stayed right there.
“I regret it every single moment of my life, you know? Every waking moment I think of you and hate myself for what I did to you. For what I did to us.”
You didn’t reply, just gulped down the clump in your throat.
“If only I had made the right choice that day... if only I had tried to convince Jimin that I was good for you and that you would be safe with me... then maybe it would have been us standing here today.”
In regards to Taehyung, you also had a lot of time to think. Whereas you always just felt hurt in the beginning, you tried to put yourself in his shoes eventually.
What if it had been Taehyung’s sister that objected so much to your relationship that you knew it was either her, your best friend, or Taehyung? Would you have picked him and thrown away a year-long friendship?
Would you have picked him over the girl that knew your deepest and darkest secrets? That walked through hell and back for you? That loved you unconditionally and would forever, no matter what?
The answer to this question was the reason that you were the one to take a step towards Taehyung.
“But it is you and me standing here today.”
His breathing got uneven, even more so when you took another step towards him.
“How can I fix this, (Y/N)?” he whispered, “I’ll do anything... I swear, anything.”
You reached out until your hand cupped his cheek, your thumb brushing over the softness of his skin, “I don’t know how long it would take...”
Taehyung wrapped his hand around your wrist, making sure that you didn’t pull back.
“You have my life, (Y/N). I don’t care how long it takes, I will do anything to convince you that I’m not making the same mistake twice.”
It wouldn’t be easy, forgiving him, nor Jimin was something that you could do in a matter of minutes. But you wanted to try, so that your heart could finally get rid of all the hurt and hate.
So you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him, breathing in the scent that instantly brought back memories, but this time, all the good ones.
And so you smiled, Taehyung pulling you closer and burying his face into your neck.
“I’m so sorry, beautiful.”
And while the two of you were standing at the altar, hugging, Jimin was standing in the entryway with a smile and let out a happy sigh.
“Please be happy together... because I love you both so much.”
#bts imagine#bts x reader#kim taehyung x reader#taehyung x reader#v x reader#kim taehyung imagine#taehyung imagine#v imagine#bts#bangtan boys#bangtan sonyeondan#bangtan#kim taehyung#taehyung#v#mine#reader#park jimin imagine#park jimin x reader#jimin x reader#jimin imagine#park jimin#jimin#requests
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Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 3)
part one here
part two here
This is the last part of this mini-series and I hope you enjoyed it! Requests are open btw, so don’t be afraid to ask for an imagine with any NHL player :))
Word count: 1464 words
TW: mentions of sex, language
...
The thing that woke you up was the bright light shining through the windows.
Shit. What time was it? You probably should have been already working - for hours.
As you looked around yourself, you started realizing this wasn’t your apartment. Everything here looked so blank and expensive and then you remembered that-
That you kisssed Matthew while he was drunk. That you fucked Matthew while he was drunk.
You groaned silently, still too sleepy to actually cry. What had you done?
You thought you were okay with staying just friends. But here I am, you thought to yourself as you climbed out of the bed.
Your body felt sore and relaxed at the same time. It was a long time since you slept with someone and actually enjoyed it like this. And even though you should be ashamed of yourself, you let yourself enjoy that feeling.
Just then you realized that the other side of Matt’s huge bed was already empty and cold. There was no sign of him in the living room or in the kitchen - he probably left a long time ago, maybe already preparing for his upcoming game.
But the smell of him lingered on the sheets like a distant memory, bringing back the thoughts of yesterday's events. His hot skin touching yours, his warm breath caressing your breasts...
Shit.
Just... shit.
And so you put on your yesterday’s clothes, write a quick note for Matt and leave his apartment without looking back.
...
It’s been two weeks since you woke up at Matthew’s apartment. Since then, you ignored his calls and texts, pretended you weren’t home when he knocked on your door and worked overtime when he waited for you at the reception.
Yes - it’s not ideal but it worked for 14 whole days. And it gave you some time to think.
As you were leaving your office, thinking only about going to bed, you realized you didn’t check if Matt was waiting for you - but too late. A hand gripped lightly your elbow, making you halt in your tracks.
“Y/N, why the fuck are you avoiding me?”
He sounded a bit angry but mostly tired and hurt. He looked tired, too - those were dark circles under his beautiful eyes.
And you just stood there, trying to come up with a good enough excuse.
Because we fucked, Matthew, you wanted to say. Because I love you and I’m afraid you’re gonna break my heart. Because I don’t want to lose you or our friendship. But wouldn’t avoiding him for a few more weeks destroy your friendship as well?
“You can’t- you can’t just leave, Y/N. What happened happened and if you want to, we can ignore it but you can’t just keep walking around it. You can’t just leave like I did all those years ago. And I’m so so sorry I did so and it’s totally my fault if you feel like I might do that again but you have to trust me that I have no reason to do so.”
Matthew looked... scared. Was it because he was afraid you’d leave him behind? Afraid of tasting his own medicine?
You still didn’t know what to say. You wanted to believe all he was saying but the memory of you crying when he abandoned you was still playing in your head. He did so just because of some stupid promise he told nobody about. What’s stopping him from doing so again?
“I panicked when I came back home that morning - I went shopping because I had no food at the apartment and I wanted to make you a perfect breakfast. And when I came back, you were gone and all you left behind was a note with only one word on it - goodbye. So yeah, I panicked. Of course I panicked. And I know I’m the reason you did it but I have no idea how to make things right. I don’t know how to make you trust me like you once did...” Matthew tugged at his curls, his hair all messy. He let out a sigh, trying to avoid your searching gaze.
"Matt-" you stopped your arm from touching his hair even though you wanted to comfort him so badly. It'd be so easy to let yourself trust him. Too easy; and that scared you more than anything. "I need time. Just- just take me out for dinner or something. We'll take things slowly and then we'll see how that turns out."
He looked at you as you spoke, watching the shape of your lips while nodding slowly. A small smile formed on Matt's lips and he tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. Your cheeks went red a bit as you realized he'd do whatever you needed and won't ever ask for more than you're prepared to give him. The night two weeks ago wasn't your fault; it was yours. Matthew was drunk and never forced you to do what you did. It was you who ruined things.
"Do you have time right now?"
"Yeah, I guess." you answered, smiling up at him.
"Then I'll take you out for dinner."
Hand in hand, you realized it'd be so easy to get used to the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
...
A month later, Matt took you to a lunch with his family. It was a long time since you've seen any of his siblings so you were super excited - but also super nervous.
You two took things really slow. Matt took you out every day if he had the time and hasn't even kissed you once. Sometimes, you wanted him to do so. Sometimes, it was the only thing you could think of.
The nostalgia hit you as soon as you saw Chesterfield again. You closed your eyes, already knowing where would the car turn on the road. You kind of missed this city - it reminded you of your childhood and of Matthew.
He was sitting next to you, driving the car, one hand on the steering wheel and the second on your thigh, drawing cirles on your jeans.
"Do they remember me?" you asked, your eyes still closed.
"Of course they remember you," Matt murmured and sang a few lines of the song playing on the radio - your song, one from the playlist on the USB that was hidden for years in the time capsule.
After Matt got drafted, you stopped talking to his family. You were mad at all of them even though it was a stupid thing to do. But now as an adult, things would be different. Yeah, you probably could be mad at Matt's dad for all the things Matt wrote you in that letter but... He only wanted his son to be happy - you'd probably do the same.
So, when the car stopped, you got out and greeted his family as nicely as you could. It took you some time to recognise Taryn as she hugged you, because last time you saw her, she was just a kid. And now... She and Brady were both adults.
"Nice to meet you again, Y/N," said their mom, Chantal as you shoot hands. Her husband smiled at you from the table where all of them were already seated and Matthew wrapped one arm around your waist as he pushed back the chair for you.
Everyone talked, laughed and enjoyed the autumn day with bright smiles on their faces. None of them seemed to mind your presence and you felt like a part of this happy family.
Halfway through the lunch, Matt pushed his chair closer to you as he whispered into your ear:
"What are you thinking about?"
You looked at him, at his bright eyes and eased smile. At the way he touched your hand and tucked your hair behind your ear. And you realized how much he cared for you and that there was nothing that could keep you two apart this time.
No more tiptoeing. No more 'taking things slow'.
"I'm thinking about how I trust you more than I trusted anyone in my life. I'm thinking about how I love you more than I loved anyone in my life."
His smile was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. It was full of love and care and you didn't realized you were crying until Matt wiped the tears off your cheeks.
"You want to know what I'm thinking about?"
You simply nodded.
"I'm thinking about our future and about how happy you make me, Y/N. I'm thinking about how lucky I am that I can call you mine. I love you so much, Y/N." he whispered, taking one of your hand in his and intertwining your fingers.
"I love you too, Matt. And I promise I will never say goodbye to you."
#Matthew Tkachuk#hockey imagines#matthew tkachuk imagine#matthew tkachuk oneshot#matt tkachuk#matty tkachuk#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagines#nhl imagine#nhl fic#nhl one shot#calgary flames#calgary flames imagine#brady tkachuk#Hockey Fanfiction#hockey fic#Hockey Players#hockey
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humph; han seojun (pt 5)
click here for humph masterlist!
story: frenemies to enemies to lovers, high school au
synopsis: seojun and you have known each other since kindergarten. you’re neighbors and even attended the same singing and piano classes. despite knowing each other for such a long time, you don’t enjoy spending time with seojun. even though you are aware of his unfairness, you keep spending time with him. when will you finally leave your childhood frenemy?
note: this is the last part of the series! i’m thankful for everyone who liked, commented and shared this fanfiction it really means a lot to me! through this series i gained many followers, i never imagined that this would get so many likes! again, hope you enjoy the last part and stay tuned for many other fictions hehe. humph! is a story inspired by pentagon’s “humph! / 접근금지”. originally, this is a seungyeon fanfiction, which i posted on my wattpad. words: ~4k
words cannot describe your current feelings. all you can say is that everything feels unreal and odd. indeed, you’re no longer able to focus on your work. all because of that night. all because of stupidly drunk han seojun.
why did you have to pick him up? why didn’t you just call someone else? thanks to his actions, you feel emotionally confused. not to mention, you are frightened to go to school.
can you imagine how awkward it’s going to be if seojun remembers the night? without doubt, your heart would get broken because you just know he’s going to apologize for kissing you. he’ll tell you it happened because he was drunk and definitely not because he feels anything for you.
memories from that night fill your head and it’s the only thing you can think of for the rest of the weekend.
not until your mother forces you to visit the han’s with her. no wonder you refuse to go, han seojun kissed you! of course, neither your mother nor your brother understand your panicked actions when you drop on your knees, hiding your face in your palms dramatically. both of them end up dragging you to the han’s, ignoring your annoying whines.
seojun’s mum greets you with excitement when you eventually arrive at their front door. stepping in with your trembling body, you look around in paranoia, checking if seojun’s home. while doing so, you fail to notice juyeong giving you a side glance with narrowed eyes.
you: chorong please pick me up from seojun’s house
quickly you type your friend a text message before entering the living room, where gowoon waves at you happily.
kim chorong: you’re at seojun’s?!
kim chorong: can i guess what you’re doing ;)
your phone rings two times in a row, making all eyes land on you. laughing it off, you put your phone on mute before typing chorong a reply.
you: ew no please just save me from here okay?
the conversation between the mums continue and suddenly your brother asks if seojun is home. gowoon replies that he probably got out of the shower just now, which puts you in a panicked situation.
i need to get outta here
but like always, the universes loves playing with you right on time because the next thing you see is seojun walking out of his room, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, hand ruffling his wet hair. trying your best not to make eye contact, your gaze darts around the whole room.
after greeting your mother and juyeong, seojun’s eyes land on your awkward figure. no longer able to avoid his gaze, you look right back at seojun, cheeks turning into a red color. you can’t do anything but blink since you’re extremely nervous. if he does remember everything from that night, you want to get swallowed by the floor beneath you. if he doesn’t, you certainly will try your best to remain calm and unsuspicious.
“do you have a moment?”, without waiting for too long seojun grabs your wrist after putting the towel away.
“f-for what?” you manage to speak as your panicked posture suddenly stiffens.
“science project.”, the boy comes up with an average excuse while trying to ignore the surprised looks everyone is giving him as he practically drags you to his own room.
what if he knows?!
from all the heart racing, you’re sure that you’ll end up in the hospital one day. it technically pounds heavily in your chest when you’re head is going through every possible answer you could give seojun when he asks you about the kiss.
after pulling you into his room, seojun closes the door behind you before pushing your body against it. in only seconds, his palm presses against it, right next to your face. it reminds you of the time when he questioned you about his motorcycle keys in the hallways. thankfully, his face isn’t as close as back then. you’re pretty sure, you would’ve fainted by now.
“so what about the science project, haha?” words finally leave your mouth when you realize seojun isn’t going to say anything but stare at your flustered face.
“about that...”, seojun mutters in a quiet tone as he leans in slowly. the only thing you can do is avoid his gaze while gulping, thinking that he probably remembers the kiss. yet, when he doesn’t stop getting closer, lips almost touching yours, you push him away in a swift move, eyes wide in shock,
“what the hell!”
han seojun doesn’t seem surprised. he only scratches his neck, eyes darting around his room before finally landing on your panicked figure,
“i had to do an experiment.”
“w-what experiment? are you kidding me?”
more confused than ever, you question with a flushed face. however, seojun sighs to reveal his exhaustiveness, hands hiding his face before rubbing his brow to ward off his headache,
“i- something happened friday night and i can’t stop thinking about it.”
acting like you don’t know what happened, you continue to look at him with confusion.
“i drank a little bit too much and can’t really remember anything except for one detail- but apparently someone came to pick me up and brought me home. i asked the worker who it was and he told me it was my neighbor.”
when seojun trails off and shakes his head with furrowed eyebrows you hold yourself back from letting out a relieved sigh.
he doesn’t know it was you. it’s like all the worries leave your body before the boy starts talking again,
“isn’t that weird? i mean why would my neighbor come to get me, it’s not like i’m close to any of them. also, which neighor? he said it was a girl around your height with y/h/c hair. the only neighbor that comes to my mind is lee minji but there’s no chance i could have kissed her.”
“you did what?”, although knowing exactly what he did, your eyes widden in horror when you notice that he remembers the kiss but not the person. seojun realizes what he just said and tries to explain everything in a rushed tone,
“look, i don’t know why i did it. i was drunk! besides that, i’m not even sure if it was her, or anyone! what if it’s just a false memory? or a dream?”
the young boy feels like he needs to justify himself to you when he catches glimpse of the worry hiding in your eyes. han seojun doesn’t want you to think that he would kiss anyone just like that. in fact, he wouldn’t want to kiss anyone but you.
but that’s not what you’re thinking at the moment. the only thing you can focus on is seojun’s statement leaving his mouth a few seconds ago: “i was drunk!”
of course, he was. how could you even have the smallest hope that he kissed you because he wanted to? ashamed of your expectations, you clear your throat and look away, playing with the rings on your fingers.
“oh man, that sucks!”, you chuckle falsely, “don’t worry about it too much. it could happen to anyone, you know?”
“i think about it day and night, thought.”, seojun rubs his neck, eyes fixed on the carpet on the floor.
“why? was it that special for you?”, laughing you push his shoulder playfully.
unexpectedly, seojun looks up to meet your eyes and blinks,
“it was.”
your heart drops. your body freezes on spot. your eyes stare into his.
hearing this shocked you, why was it special to him? without doubt, it was special to you too. precisely, you remember his soft lips on yours, warm touch on your face.
breaking the stare, you shake your head and look around, “just forget about it.”
after a short silence, your eyes finally land on something certain on seojun’s desk. taking a few steps closer, you are able to take a closer look at the item. picking up the polaroid picture, you smile at the photo of you sleeping on seojun’s shoulder in the bus. your arm was wrapped around his torso, his look fixed on you.
“where did you get this?”, turning around with the picture still in your hands, you show it to seojun with a happy face.
“o-oh that? the others took it while you were sleeping.”
“i didn’t know you had this.”
“yeah, i kinda just forgot hahahaha.”
“sure you did!”, suddenly kim chorong bursts into the room with a teasing smile,
“i’m here, y/n. but it seems like you don’t need me anymore.”
“why are you here?”, seojun frowns.
“she told me to come! it’s not always about you.”, sticking out this tongue, your friend shrugs and lets himself fall on seojun’s bed,
“what are we doing today? how about noraebang?”
_
brushing his fingers over the multiple lipsticks, seojun’s eyes focus on a certain pink one. hesitantly, he picks it up to take a closer look before putting it back to its place.
“do they have strawberry ones?”, he asks his sister who looks for something specific. gowoon asked his brother if they could go to the mall together, since she’s been getting into make up these days and therefore needs more products.
“what?”
“like strawberry lip balms.”
“why do you need one?” she laughs at her brother who seems a little unsure.
“just because!” seojun tries to hide everything when he notices his sister making fun of him.
when she eventually shows him the lip balms and he’s able to smell all of them, seojun gives up. the boy went through several lip balms but couldn’t find the right one. maybe he should just give up looking for signs.
“why is everyone so obsessed with them? y/n owns plenty of them, it‘s insane.“
juyeong, who happened to tag along with gowoon and seojun, lets out a sigh as he watches the older boy.
“she does?“, suddenly seojun is interested in something that juyeong says.
“absolutely. you can ask her, you know?“
“i should ask her as well! she seems to like make up!“, gowoon smiles excitedly.
although juyeong is aware of his sister‘s lack of skills in make up, he still nods almost to quickly,
“definitely, you should! you can come to our house since she‘s always home anyway.“
seojun no longer listens to the younger‘s conversation, but instead thinks about what juyeong said earlier.
_
running to get in class on time has become a regular thing for you. once again, your legs move in super speed in the empty hallways as you hold tight on your heavy books. not even realizing your open backpack hanging on your right shoulder, you struggle to breathe normally.
you become interested in your untied shoes while running and suddenly bump into someone else, because you didn’t look ahead.
in a swift move the person steadies you to keep you from falling. still, your backpack drops from your shoulder and causes all of your belongings to drop on the floor.
too distracted from the mess that got created, you quickly kneel down to collect your books and folders,
“shoot!” you mutter, extremely stressed from the fact that you’re losing more time.
“running late again, zombie?”
you realize it’s han seojun when he bends down to help you pick up your stuff. after collecting some of your folders and books, his eyes focus on a certain lip balm placed next to your foot. instantly he reaches for it with a frown, your books still in his other hand.
completely stressed out, you rapidly stuff all of your supplies into your backpack and fail to notice seojun observing every small detail of your lip balm. as you finally look up, you take your books away from seojun’s grip and hold them in your hands instead of putting them back in, so that you can save some time,
“thank you.”, before you can leave seojun stands in front of you, holding your strawberry lip balm. after smelling it, he raises his eyebrows at you,
“is this yours?”
“oh, yes! thanks.” unaware of his thoughts, you take the item from his hand with a smile and put it into the pocket of your blazer.
and then seojun just stands there, watching you sprint to your next class.
he’s about to lose his mind.
_
patting his skin dry with a towel after washing it with cold water, seojun’s gaze darts around the school’s gym. his eyes look for you in the big hall filled with students, who came to watch the basketball game. the young boy is sure to have seen you sitting in the first row with lee suho during the game. however, it seems like you are nowhere to be seen. did you maybe leave with lee suho?
frustrated and tired at the same time, seojun approaches his friend kim chorong only seconds after the game,
“do you know where y/n is?”
“y/n? i’m not quite sure. she was here during the whole game, thought.”, chorong shrugs with a small pout forming on his lips.
“how did she leave so fast?”, seojun sighs annoyed before someone suddenly hits his back forcefully,
“if you’re looking for y/n, she just left with lee suho.”, sua tries to hide her teasing smile.
“with lee suho? why? where did they go?”
“she told me she lost her bracelet and wanted to find it.”, sua crosses her arms,
“they’re probably looking in the hallways or something.”
hearing that, seojun instantly drops his bag and runs out of the gym hall, ignoring his friend’s calls.
“yah, where are you going? we’re gonna celebrate your win!”, kim chorong yells only to turn to sua after seojun is out of his sight. they both share a smile before high fiving,
“good job.”
“taehoon just called me. suho left y/n. she’s alone in the hallways, looking for that bracelet.”
“as expected, cupid team never fails.”
_
seojun slows down when he turns the next corner. finally reaching the hallway of the third floor, his steps echo in the empty area. it’s dark outside and many students already left the building right after the end of the basketball game, leaving only seojun and you in the dark hallway of the third floor.
eventually the young boy spots you near your classroom, searching for your bracelet with worried eyes. he notices how you run your hand through your hair, upset that you lost something so important. seojun hides behind the wall, still questioning if he should approach you. strangely, suho is not around which makes him question everything.
while thinking about leaving, seojun’s eyes land on a specific item placed right next to the plant on his right side. surprised, he picks up the flower bracelet, which he gifted you after he apologized on the last day of the school trip, and stares at it for a short while.
hesitantly, seojun finally steps out and approaches you with a more relaxed figure.
letting out a yelp, you turn around in a swift move when you feel two hands placing on your shoulders. with widen eyes you face han seojun standing only a few inches away from you. pressing a palm on your chest, you sigh in relief,
“you scared me. again.”
“looking for this?”, ignoring your annoyed eyes, he swings your bracelet in his right hand.
“how- where did you find it? i was looking everywhere!”, quickly you snatch it away from him to place it around your wrist tightly, making sure it won’t slip out this time.
“is it so important that you spend hours searching in this building?” seojun rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, “you should go home now. it’s really late.”
“yes. it is important to me.” you mutter and glare at the boy in front of you before thanking him.
after that, suddenly silence takes over the room. you are too busy adjusting the bracelet on your wrist, while seojun only watches you with a curious gaze. he seems to be lost in his own thoughts.
it’s true that he’s seen you wear it every single day.
he’s also certain about the smell of your strawberry lip balm. seojun is a little bit angry at himself, for remembering every small detail of the kiss, but not the face of the person he shared it with. maybe he’s just tricking himself about it. maybe it is actually you, who he kissed that night.
thinking of the only way to find out, the boy interrupts the long silence as he puts his hand into the pocket of your blazer, taking out the specific strawberry lip balm. you’re more than surprised and freeze on spot when he places the tip of the container on your bottom lip and applies it on your lips.
absolutely taken aback, you fail to notice seojun taking a few steps closer to you, his body almost attached to yours now. it doesn’t take him long to lift up your chin, enabling your eyes to meet his. they look into yours with so much intensity that your cheeks start glowing from the heat. once again, your heart pounds aggressively in your chest as the young boy nears his face to yours. from all your experiences till now, you feel the most nervous now. not to mention, confused from his sudden actions. (*insert “i’m the mood for dancing” by yuju*)
last time he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing.
now he’s completely aware of his actions.
instantly you close your eyes shut, waiting impatiently for his lips to touch yours. both of you have been longing feel this feeling again, never able to get rid of the memory from friday night. seojun tilts his head slightly before finally placing his lips on your soft ones.
and in the exact moment, when he tastes the strawberry flavor on your lips, his heart speeds up, his hands hold your warm face, he knows it’s you. he realizes that it was you, who picked him up and you, who he kissed with so much emotion.
firmly you grip onto seojun’s t-shirt when your knees feel weak. as a result the boy only smiles against your lips before his hands move from your face to your waist, pulling you to his body. running one hand up and down your waist, he continues moving his lips against yours.
before you have the chance to move yours arms to wrap them around his neck, seojun slowly pulls away. you open your eyes to see him licking his bottom lip with a small smile. somehow you’re unable to meet his eyes when he lets out a chuckle,
“thought i wouldn’t find out sooner or later?”
“h-how did you know it was me?”, you whisper, grip still tight on his shirt.
“strawberry taste.”
his simple answer surprises you, “oh, right...”
seojun caresses your face in his hands as he notices your shy tone to make you look at him,
“why didn’t you just tell me?”
“i thought you didn’t mean it since you were extremely drunk.”
“ah, y/n. you haven’t changed at all, have you?”
hearing seojun suddenly laugh makes you even more confused,
“what do you mean?”
“you’re always so oblivious about everything like my feelings towards you.” seojun smiles at you adoringly and pushes a few strands of hair behind your ear.
“you-”
“i like you, y/n. have been the whole time.”
“you were always mean to me, how was i supposed to know?”, slighlty pouting, you push his shoulder playfully.
“you’re right and i’m sorry about that. i was so focused on hiding my feelings that i didn’t realize i was hurting you. i didn’t want you to think that i liked you.”
“you succeeded.”
“yeah,” seojun scratches his neck while looking into your eyes, “still haven’t gotten an answer from you, y/n.”
taking his hand, you rub the back of it before kissing his right cheek,
“i like you too, seojun.”
seojun melts. he feels his happiest and his cheeks turn into the shade of a tomato.
“look at us. who would’ve thought?”, you laugh at his shyness.
“not me.”, seojun smiles before pulling you in for another kiss.
_
the cold hair hits your face as you sit on a swing while seojun pushes you. swinging your feet with a big smile on your face, you glance behind your shoulder quickly to see seojun looking at you with adoring eyes.
“higher!”, you scream, catching the kids’ attention on the playground for a short second.
therefore, your boyfriend pushes you with more force as he tries to hide his amused grin, “as you wish, my highness. but you’re scaring the kids away, don’t you think?”
“feels like we’re kids again.”, you remember your childhood moments with seojun.
“enough for now. when is it my turn?”, seojun pouts playfully, still pushing you on the swings.
“i said ten minutes not five, seojun.”
both of you laugh hysterically at your remark before he firmly grips on the chain of the swing, making it stop abruptly. before you can turn around to look at him with a frown, your boyfriend places a kiss on your left cheek, causing them to turn into a shade of bright pink.
“i love you.”
“i love you too, seojunnie.”
that’s all seojun needs to hear before pushing you on the swing again, heart melting in his chest.
and in the end of the day he knows that you’ll always be there for him. and you know that he’ll be right there too.
_
the end!
this is the last part of the series “humph; han seojun”. firstly, i hope you liked the ending and the story in total. secondly, i wrote this story because i noticed that there aren’t many han seojun fics! i thank everyone for giving me all the love that i don’t deserve. thirdly, please stay tuned for more fanfictions! be aware that i’m open for requests, feedback and everything nice. love you and stay safe,
your writer renjunes
#the end#humph#frenemies to lovers#han seojun#seojun#han seojun fluff#seojun fluff#han seojun x reader#han seojun imagine#han seojun imagines#seojun imagines#seojun imagine#seojun x reader#true beauty#kdrama#kpop#hwang in yeop#hwang inyeop#fanfiction
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A Certain Romance (2/6)
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1,685
Warnings: not rlly anything
A/N: a lil bit of a deeper dive for these two’s relationship👀... enjoy!
MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST
Your apartment is nice. Very you.
Sam invited him out to some restaurant, but after the last one he suggested, he decided to pass. And when Sam asked him what he was doing instead, if he was seeing you, Bucky lied and said yes. It made Sam happy and got him out of going to another ridiculous restaurant, so he saw it as a win-win.
Once Sam left, though, his thoughts did drift to what you were doing.
You two exchanged numbers at the pizza place after your date, but you two haven’t texted much. He texted you making sure you got home safe, which you did, and a day or so after, you texted him a picture of some advertisement with an awfully cheesy pick-up line written on it, which even he agreed was awful.
But that’s about it. So, he texts you.
Hey. What are u doing?
About to make dinner. Y?
Told Sam I was seeing u. Wanna hang out?
Come over.
Simple enough, he thinks.
You two haven’t had the most meaningful text conversations, clearly, but it’s still nice. No flirting, no typing and retyping messages in order to hook, line, and sinker, no ghosting. No relationship texting.
It was a dream for him. To have a new friend. He’s made plenty of friends, both in New York and in Wakanda. But it’s all under the same… umbrella. Always an agent, a fighter, an analyst of some sort. Someone to train with, to fight with, to fight for. Never someone like you. Someone that works a mundane job and lives in a mundane part of New York where her weekends are filled with going on mundane blind dates or otherwise cooking dinner for one.
It’s a breath of fresh air to not talk about fighting or missions or press or media or anything else he has to hear about at work. The only connection you have with Sam is that you met in a coffee shop a few years ago that has since closed down. He was one of your first friends here.
You could care less about Captain America, too. Which hurts Sam’s ego, and in turn, makes Bucky smile.
So, he goes over to yours.
He’s not sure what you’re making, but he brings a bottle of red wine as a courtesy. You are making dinner after all. Besides, women love wine, right?
Your apartment is nice. Very you.
Enough going on to show that someone does indeed live here, but also enough to show that you’re not exactly swimming in riches, like most people that live in this city.
The place smells like garlic and basil, and he’s glad that he brought the wine.
Shoes discarded at the door, he helps chop up the rest of the ingredients while you put a pot of water to boil. He chops up mushrooms, onion, pancetta, eyeing the bottle of vodka out on the table and tube of tomato paste next to his hand.
It's an understatement to say he’s excited. Most of the pasta he makes is from a bag of precooked noodles and a jar of tomato sauce.
Basic small talk floats through the air as the two of you dance around one another in the kitchen. Even though you’re “dating”, you don’t know much about each other. This isn’t too uncommon from how dating was for Bucky when he was a teenager; you’d marry women knowing very little about them.
Your favorite color is orange. You played violin in grade school. You had a childhood dog named Chowder. Bucky tells you his favorite color is green. He played a little bit of piano when he was younger, but did boxing in his late teens and early twenties before the war. You poke fun at him when he can’t remember the name of his own childhood dog.
“He’s probably rolling over in dog-heaven.”
“Good boy; he’d deserve a treat.”
You laugh.
Easy conversation continues on the couch as bowl after bowl of pasta is eaten and replenished. As fun and seemingly simple questions are asked, like each of your favorite movies or whether or not you pour the milk before the cereal, the room that’s left is used for deeper questions.
“What’s your most embarrassing moment?” You ask him.
He thinks for a moment before opening his mouth, only to close it again. “One time when Princess Shuri was fixing my arm it wasn’t secure completely, so it flew off while I was playing with some of the children.”
“That’s not your most embarrassing moment. I know it’s not, now you have to tell me what it really is.” You tease him.
He’s never been the best liar.
“You’re right, it’s not my most embarrassing moment. My actual most embarrassing moment is just kind of… sad. And I didn’t want to ruin the mood or anything.” He explains, hoping you’ll accept that but instead you give him an encouraging smile to hopefully give him some comfort that whatever it is he wants to tell you is safe in your apartment.
“Okay, uhm. So, in the 40’s, after I was rescued by Steve, but before we shipped out again where I was recaptured for the second and final time. We were all holed up in this little dance club, all the soldiers and their gals. And in walks Peggy Carter in a pretty red dress,” He begins, only glancing at your eyes periodically as if to make sure you’re still there.
“I know she’s Steve’s gal, he told me all about her. I wasn’t flirting with her because I wanted her, I was flirting with her… to make sure I still could. I mean, after being held in that… place… they injected me with stuff, told me things that weren’t true, I mean Steve told me I was repeating my number over and over again when he found me, I didn’t even remember doing that. I felt… violated, used, not like myself. I felt like I wasn’t me anymore.
“So, when Peggy walked in, I thought about how everyone always called me a ladies man, how good I was with women, I mean, I’d take girls out about every damn weekend, you know? I wanted to feel normal, so I flirted with her, tried to get her to dance with me. And she completely ignored me. She never even took her eyes off of Steve. It’s like I was invisible. And it just sort of felt like the nail in the coffin for whoever James Barnes was before the war. It was a realization that I’m never going to be that person again. And it was embarrassing for me.” He explains.
He hasn’t looked up at you again, but he heard your fork stop moving around your bowl a minute or so ago. He feels a lump in his throat thinking about that time, how he knew he’d never get back the man he was, even before knowing what was in store for him after falling off that train. How he used to be this man that wanted a long, happy marriage, six or seven kids running around a big backyard, a white picket fence surrounding a big two-story house in a neighborhood of identical homes. He wanted the cheesy life, at one point. But the same man that wanted that life died falling off a train many years ago.
All of that’s forgotten, though, when you open your mouth, and seem to say the perfect thing to make him feel better.
“One time in the third grade, this girl pulled my skirt down in front of my crush, and I wasn’t wearing any undies.”
A snort escapes his throat as you, somehow, after he’s shared something so deeply personal, something he never even told Steve or Sam about, still found a way to make him laugh. Which is what he wanted, he realizes. The comfort of moving on from that confession and not having to wallow in it like other people would try to. His hand leaves his fork to cover his face as tears threaten to leak out from how hard he’s laughing.
He took that secret to the grave, even if it wasn’t his own. He told himself he’d never tell Steve about how he felt in that situation, and he never did. He never told Steve that he didn’t enlist, either. He couldn’t imagine how Steve would’ve felt knowing that the army would’ve rather taken men that didn’t want to go to war, men who were terrified to go to war, had too much to lose and wanted to be selfish and stay home, than men like Steve who would do anything to enlist. Including lying on the damn enlistment form.
He wonders if Steve is looking at him now. Watching over him as he shares something that he never did with his best friend, with you, a girl he’s met barely a week ago, on your couch over bowls of pasta while he points out leftover sauce on the corner of your lip.
“What’s your greatest fear?” He asks you next.
“Dying alone. Actually, no. Getting kidnapped, probably.”
“Oh, mine’s spiders.” He shares.
It’s so easy to laugh with you, he finds. He jokes with Sam a lot, all the bickering and teasing all in good fun at the end of the day, and it’s mostly pretty funny. But laughing with you. He feels like a teenager again. Somehow, everything is funny; he doesn’t remember the last time he’s laughed so much, especially about things that aren’t even that funny.
It’s raining at the end of the night. Early morning, rather.
“You can take the couch, if you’d like.”
“Nah, I don't mind a little rain, and I like the ride home.” He fed Alpine before he left, but he imagines his cat misses him, even if she’s probably busy licking herself to even notice he’s left.
“Suit yourself.”
You don’t push him. A simple pleasure that’s more of a luxury for him. There’s no pushing or convincing or Are you sure’s with you.
Certainly a luxury, you are.
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Well done on 100 followers!! <333 🤎- word: tree (i’m sorry that’s really random but i think it could be cute lmao) character: oliver wood x
Our Tree (Oliver Wood x gn!reader)
Summary: Years pass but their love and their tree never goes away. (Sorry for the bad summary)
Warnings: marriage proposal, muggle au, childhood friends to lovers, possibly bad writing (I did not proof read this sorry)
A/n: Not sure how I feel about it but you were right, I created something pretty big with the simple word, tree. I think this could’ve been better if I put more time into it but I don’t want to spend too much time on it. Some of it feels a little rushed but I didn’t want to write something too long.
Word count: 1159
Join the celebration
*** age 10 ***
“What are you doing in my tree?!” Shouts a boy below you. You push back a branch to spot a little brown haired boy with his hands firmly planted on his hips.
“What do you mean your tree? It’s my tree.” You shout back.
“We’ll I don’t see your name on it.” He huffs.
You look up and down the tree. “I don’t see yours either.” You counter.
“Oh yeah? Watch this.” The boy suddenly starts to climb the tree. In five moves he’s sitting on the same branch as you. You scan the stranger next to you. His eyes are determined, competitive but there’s still something warm brewing in those brown eyes. The boy appears to be doing the same, scanning every detail of your face.
He suddenly smiles a little. “Follow me.” He says with a much sweeter tone than earlier. He turns away from you and starts climbing up the tree. He sits down again one branch higher. You follow suit, sitting next to the stranger.
He points to the branch bark. You look down to find the name Oliver scratch into it.
“What’s that you were saying about me not having my name on it?” He lifts a brow, looking very satisfied with himself.
Your face falls looking a little disappointed. “I guess it is your tree.” You frown. For years now you this tree has been your safe haven. There was no place you loved more than the curve in the forth branch. You worry that this is the end, that you’ll have to give up your tree.
“It’s okay, we can share.” He shoves his hand in his pocket, holding onto the branch above for stability. He takes out a penny and hands it to you. He scooches down the branch so the name Oliver is between the two of you. “Add your name under mine. That way it’s our tree.”
Your eyes go wide and a wide smile pulls your cheeks. You carve your name into the branch in silence.
“(Y/n).” Says Oliver, more to himself than to you. It’s like he’s trying it out for the first time.
*** age 15 ***
“(Y/n)? Are you up there?” Shouts a familiar voice.
“Oliver!” Your voice is bright and cheerful. You shove your book in your bag and wait for him to join you.
“Hey, how are you?” He asks, settling next to you.
“I think I’m ready to start dating people.” You have a thoughtful look on your face, like it’s an idea that’s still roaming in your head.
“Well I’d date you.” He says simply as if that’s not music to your ears. As if it’s not the thing you daydream of.
“I’d like that.” You try to hide your excitement, wanting to appear cool.
“What? Y-you want us to date?” A knot forms in your stomach as you start to overthink what just happened. Was he just saying that to reassure you? Did he not mean it? You take a shaky breath looking at Oliver who’s mouth is hanging open.
“I- I like you Oliver.” You confess after seeing no way out of the situation.
Oliver smiles wide and chuckles a little. “I can’t believe this is happening. I like you too!”
*** age 17 ***
Your phone pings on your night table. You read Oliver’s text on the screen.
I got my letter! Meet me at the tree in 5 min.
You grab your unopened university acceptance letter and run to the tree. You jump up and down unable to contain your excitement as you wait for Oliver. You both share the same dream to go to the same college. You agreed to look at your letters at the same time. You received yours two days ago so you had to wait for Oliver to get his in the mail.
“Oliver!” You exclaim when you spot him, running to jump into his arms. He gives you a short kiss before waving his letter in the air.
“Okay remember, no matter what happens, it’s you and me until the end.” Oliver explains seriously. You nod quickly, getting impatient.
“One, two, three.” The two of you simultaneously rip the envelopes open and pull out the letter.
There’s a moment of silence as you each read your letters. Oliver runs a hand through his hair and you clasp your hand over your mouth.
“And?” Pushes Oliver.
“What about you?” So ask instead of answering him.
“Say it on three?” He offers, taking your hand. You nod once more.
“One, two, three.”
“I got in!” You both shout at the same time. The rest is a blur. It’s happy screams, jumping, hugging, kissing, laughing, crying.
*** Age 28 ***
“Last chance to go pee.” You tell Oliver with your hand on the front door doorknob.
Oliver shakes his head and places a hand on the small of your back to guide you out the door. “I’m good. Let’s go” Is all he says.
You climb into the car and Oliver starts driving to your hometown for the weekend. You’re due for a visit, it’s been a while since you’ve seen Oliver or your family. The drive is pleasant. You listen to music, and audiobook and talk. Finally at your destination you unpack the car and settle in Oliver’s family’s guest room.
The next morning you wake up alone in bed. A first in the six years that you and Oliver have been living together. You check your phone to find no messages from him. Slightly worried, you quickly get dressed and run downstairs.
“He’s at the tree, my dear.” Says his mom propped against the kitchen door frame. She offers you a reassuring smile and hands you a jacket.
“Thanks.” You answer hurriedly, taking the coat and walking out the door.
You run to the tree to find it filled with strings of lights. Oliver is waiting for you, pacing back and forth.
“Oliver?” You rush to him. “Is everything okay?” There is evident concern in your voice. Oliver’s eyes widen as he quickly take your hands in his.
“(Y/n).” His voice is soft but there’s a hint of nerves in them. He takes a deep breath. “We have shared this tree for eighteen years. We have shared a home for six years. What do you say we share the rest of our lives? (Y/n), my love, will you marry me?” Oliver kneels and pulls out a ring. You instantly recognize it as his grandmother’s ring that his mother showed you when you were helping her pick the perfect necklace for her dress last Christmas.
Tears of joy run down your face. “Yes!” Oliver stands, happy tears welling in his eyes. “Yes, yes, yes!” You add, at a loss for words. Oliver chuckles, pure delight in his eyes. He slides the ring onto your finger before cupping your cheek and connecting your lips.
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