#my character growth from sorry for all this is brainrot to i'm not sorry <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[rinbylin]

谁说我儿子一个人？ who said my son is on his own? x

[ad-hawkeye]

You came up on my recommended feed at the perfect time bc I have Artem brainrot rn AND YOUR ANALYZATION OF ARTEM’S CARDS ARE FANTASTIC! I’m one of the few players that avoids most CN server spoilers, and I’ve been abstaining from pulling most cards so I can pull for 3rd anni(which now I’m kinda questioning if I should LOL), so I missed out on a TON of content for all of the male leads. BUT, from the very few cards I had pulled this past yr, I did notice an odd shift in Artem’s personality. Although, I wasn’t too sure if it was just me being dumb or if it was a real thing that was happening. And after reading some of your posts I kinda want to re-read Artem’s Second Anni Card again bc I was so excited for the artwork from that event, that I didn’t pay much attention to the story LOL However, now that I’ve seen what you’ve said and what many other Artem fans have said, I’m sure my feelings weren’t wrong. And now I’m sad 😢

Artem was my favorite bc his relationship with Rosa felt the healthiest and was built on respecting each other’s boundaries, learning how to set boundaries, and working as a team, while also having a more traditional framework of a male leadership role(which I’m extremely fond of). Artem never restricted Rosa from spreading her wings as his work partner or as his life partner, he simply asked if he could come along beside her where ever she wanted to go. AND LIKE HIS ORIGINAL PERSONAL STORY IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF THIS BEHAVIOR! Rosa makes a reckless decision to go get evidence, without Artem, for a the domestic violence case they were working on and almost gets hurt in the process. After that, Artem scolds Rosa for being reckless and for not taking better care of herself. And Rosa doesn’t take it lying down either! They equally argue and get their grievances out in the open, feel bad about later, and apologize. (THE COMMUNICATION IS SO REAL 😩) FURTHERMORE! This incident leads them to learning and understanding how differently they work as lawyers. Artem learns that Rosa is a lot more personal with her clients and handles her cases with an empathetic approach, while he works more pragmatically, so through this case they learn to work to each other’s strengths as partners, covering for what the other person lacks. And the chapters this incident took place in solidified my growing love for Artem bc unlike Luke or Vyn(I’m not sure about Marius bc admittedly I haven’t read his original personal story 😅), Artem doesn’t hinder Rosa by being overprotective like Luke or push her beyond her capacities like Vyn tried to do in his original personal story. Artem allows a natural course of growth to occur in Rosa, while being a hedge of protection for Rosa BUT ONLY when she seems to REALLY need it, and the same can be said for Rosa towards Artem.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, sorry for ranting 😅

WAHHH YOU'RE TOO KIND!! ;_; thank you so much for the sweet words, it really means a lot!!! i'm so so happy you enjoyed my ranting and raving, honestly having a community of super awesome people to talk about this with has been such a comfort and ive made some awesome friends from my time here, even if we don't chat as much anymore!

and omg, do NOT ever feel bad for ranting in my inbox!!!! i've been ranting about tot in the main tag for two years at this point and i will Always be thrilled to read delightfully written meta such as yours!!!!!

i have to say, i entirely agree with all of this. and i mean ALL OF IT. his personal stories 2, 3, and 4 are my absolute favorites of his and gosh that's like. prime artem to me, i think. your ask reminded me of some meta i read such a long while ago about his second personal story (link can be found here, it's SUCH a good read)

i think a huge issue is that artem originally always felt like the antithesis to your typical daddy dom boss character. when you start playing tot, appearances wise, he looks and even comes across as one. but these initial appearances are quickly shattered.

he is absolutely inexperienced with interpersonal relationships. he fumbles the bag CONSTANTLY with rosa. he's terrible at holding conversation, he's constantly apologizing for being boring. he needs his own fucking boss to wingman (haha. wing) for him. he blushes if mc looks at him the wrong way. he's kinda strange. but he's earnest and genuine. he respects rosa's boundaries. he makes mistakes, but learns from them. he gives rosa time to think over her feelings for him so she can still say no to him if she changes her mind.

it's the contrast between this and his initial appearance that makes him interesting. what is extremely bizarre with artem's recent writing is it feels like someone who only read artem's introduction scene got some vague pointers and was like oh. your typical daddy dom boss guy. okay yeah i can write this. and then they did. which . defeats the whole entire point of what made artem compelling in the first place. he was compelling BECAUSE he subverted this trope. by just making him play the trope straight, you remove any and all intrigue from his character.

by not building off of older cards, you abandon all of the plot lines he had set up. they undid any angst in his stories. they dropped his issues with his parents. they downplayed neils impact on his life. he doesn't even grieve for him anymore. he doesnt even think about him most of the time. what happened to entwined fate? praying for neil's safety? what about neil being his father figure? neil potentially betraying the nxx? are we just going to ignore that now so we can watch artem be an insane freak who just apparently woke up with the skills of a sex god, forgot all of the lessons he learned, and doesnt care about consent anymore?

god, now IM ranting.... regardless. youre so right. i hear artem's newest cards are good so im praying those rumors are true : ((

EDIT: SORRY I MEANT TO TALK ABOUT HIS THIRD ANNIVERSARY CARD!!! it's not as bad as his second anniversary card. i know the bar is in hell but it's something. it's pretty contrived in the grand scheme of things (like why are they moving into a house...?) and has some weird moments, but is ultimately not as bad as it could have been in the slightest. i'd say its biggest crime is being boring as sin. holy fuck. i put that shit on 2x speed and i still found myself wanting to fast forward. like nothing happens at all???? it's so bizarre HAHA

[staraxiaa]

shutter-click, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

firstly, to those of you who know what it's like, and those of you who don't, i hope i did these themes justice. i'm not sure if this is an entirely accurate representation - i tried to take some of my own experiences and exaggerate it into what fit for my vision of the story. i apologize if i have trivialized any aspect of it. also there is like. negative actual romance like the tension is not there bc i imagine them to be pure balls of sweetness and fluff and like. it will probably happen? but like 5 years down the line. i called this story shutter-click partially after the sound of a camera, and partially because when i think of pictures now, i think of the importance of the memories present in them. it could be the ugliest picture you have ever seen, and yet it still means something to someone, because it reminds them of something they might have forgotten once upon a time. that's also why the reader names the first collection shutter-click - in part in reference to the title, but also the importance of these 'pictures' that are carried on throughout life. i.e. nanny's grin, the first person to ever believe in them, which also helps them overcome a great many barriers. ngl i didnt think about the rest of the art. maybe the rest should also be smile-inspired. but i am not going to call it the smile collection. this was also in no way sunflower caliber LOL sorry. genuinely have no clue i feel like the pacing was really fast. too fast. shouldve probably spent more time with the growth era. i will very likely revisit a similar concept eventually ok now that that's over - rant time. this was the brainchild of a discarded mc concept for another of my works. i couldn't quite get her character to fit with my vision, and then this was born. i wrote all of this in a day. i said i would take a break. well, i didn't. lowkey a hiatus time now <3 sorry. really wanted to get more work done on porcelain but then i was like WHAT IF and then i thought of a kiri fic. and then u know what i realized? mc is literally just katsuki like. i am in despair like now i really want to make porcelain a coming of age fic too. discovering oneself, forging yourself anew. what if it was a whole collection. oh my god. please send me some katsuki asks so i can brainrot over him instead (please) mentally i feel like the clown meme music and a thousand bouncing balls in my brain all at once. i have been listening to the same song for seven hours. this was also partially inspired off the prompt 'tragedy of a spare heir' but really reader is neither a spare nor a heir so ? ? ? dunno man i wasnt lying when i said i was tired seriously though, thank you to everyone who commented + liked shared my first work. i genuinely never expected to receive such a positive response, and i hope that this one is up to the same caliber. i still think im a god btw im genuinely on 4 hours of sleep and just churned out like. 10k? in less than 12 hours HAHAHA #if i don't laugh i am going to cry #i want to carve my brain out and examine it. these last few hours were such a blur but it's over. i feel both defeated and glorious at the same time. this was also significantly harder to write than sunflowers. that one was so nice. so easy. i miss it. im never hitting that peak again i think seriously though i think it's temp hiatus time i am emptied of thought will continue updating as i think of things i guess

unwritten scenes, headcanons, more ramble? no clue

i'm not sure if social anxiety disorder/selective mutism is necessarily something you are born with. i am aware that you can develop it as the results of past traumas, but in this case, there is very little explanation about that - it's left unexplained in the fic. could both be from hatred of cameras (ik i hate having photos taken of me lol), but again, a lot of this is entirely exaggerated and fictional. sorry. the nanny was supposed to die, but i am tired. so tired. i did not want to write an angst scene that had no relevance to the happiness of the plot. so now u guys just have the most tooth rotting fluff i have ever written in existence. she doesn't appear again in a lot of the later scenes, did i write her in alive? if i did: she actually lives forever. literally immortal idgaf more about the nanny: i imagined someone who also had difficulties in communication, and i hope that translated in the way her speech was very often broken? idk if that was accurate i wrote all of her dialogue at 3am and passed out right after. probably definitely isn't in japanese. my english was not englishing at this time. i hope it was made clear in the fic: everything that the reader that thought about herself and her relationships was wrong, with regards to the parents/sister. idk if this is accurate, but in my mind, and from my experience, my social anxiety at least is that i overthought a lot of things, misinterpreted a lot as well. soooo actually guys you DO have a loving family! i am saving the trauma for porcelain! honestly, i thought about this fic, and when i think of midoriya i just think of pure innocence lol. does it reflect ? similarly to sunflowers, the themes were childhood friendship and growth. i once again skip out on my proper kiss scene bc i think it would suit them even less than the ones in that one. but at least she kissed him on the cheek. it felt pretty ooc to me though so i think she shouldve just hugged him. at least there is also that the thing is though: you're the one to do everything first. he's really hesitant, because he still remembers you as you were, before you were out of your shell. he doesn't want to push you, overwhelm you in any way. you definitely have to be the one to initiate everything -> i just didnt think the hug + cheek kiss together was in character for me but whatever i wrote it i hope u enjoy you kiss him and hes an absolute fucking dorky mess . but honestly this is like every step in the relationship originally, the all might figurine you gift him was supposed to be a birthday present in return for the camera. this is just a fun fact. also i know both of the characters were both supposed to be insanely socially anxious but that would never have worked out so i took some liberties with it/midoriya's character. hope it still makes sense? also hope that his ramble was in-line with canon oh yeah there was supposed to be a side plot with the dead brother. i cannot tell you what it was, seeing as how i do not remember. probably some form of traumatic thing i removed from porcelain reader doesn't have a described quirk cause i am on negative brain juice and couldn't think. you can imagine that it is something art related if you'd like. but i didnt wanna yap more so.

[dogspeaker]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks..

This ask could not have come at a more perfect time, I am so deep in fictional character brainrot and this gives me such a great outlet for it :,) hope you're ready lmao

In no particular order:

Klaupacius and Trurl — The Cyberiad, Stanislaw Lem

These two are the main characters in this set of short stories. They are the greatest constructors in the universe — they can make anything and everything, to a fault. They're always at odds, but they are fundamentally inseparable; there isn't ever even a question in-universe of whether they'll come back together, because they always do. They have seen each other's greatest triumphs, and they have fixed each other's most egregious mistakes.

I have to put these two together; it just doesn't feel right to separate them into two entries. Even though there are some stories in the anthology where only one of them is acting, the other always makes a cameo by the end. I joke a lot about media altering my brain chemistry when I get obsessed with it, but this book truly did do something powerful to me. They exemplify the quintessential asexual queerplatonic relationship in my mind, and they have become everything I wanted for my own future long term relationship.

This book contains the most beautiful love poem I have ever read.

2. Selina Meyer — Veep

I'm obsessed with this show, and I quite literally rewatch it on a loop, only sometimes buffered by watching something else. I have a giant spreadsheet with every episode and every character listed where I am working on outlining exactly what I think every character's "rule" is, and where in the show they finally break that rule. Everyone breaks their rule — except for Selina Meyer.

Without spoilers: Selina Meyer is a masterclass in writing an in-universe anti-villain. Her (public) goals are, at face value, incredibly noble: she wants to dedicate her life to serving the public in political office. However, due to her deep personality flaws, she ends up being one of the most morally reprehensible characters ever written.

3. Howl Pendragon/Jenkins (movie) — Howl's Moving Castle

What can I say? He's gender. He has the life I want. I watch this movie to live vicariously through him. His growth is beautiful; it inspires me when I feel like I'm running from my responsibilities and loved ones.

I do also have a lot of love for book Howl, though he didn't make the cut for this list. He is a picture perfect blorbo. I'm glad they changed him deeply and fundamentally in the interest of making the movie that I know and love, so that I could be deeply and brutally shocked by how low book Howl will stoop to continue to be worse.

4. Kikyo — Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashi

She was my first character love. Kikyo is uniquely tragic, and I haven't found another character who makes me feel the same way she does.

She's undead, doomed to wander a place where she doesn't belong until she is finally put down again. However, instead of laying down again willingly after being resurrected, she chooses to continue walking amongst the living, and by doing so endures unimaginable emotional and spiritual suffering, and she chooses this for two reasons. One, because she is still dedicated to defeating the evil that stole her life from her. Two, because she is still hopelessly in love with Inuyasha, and takes every available opportunity to have him again.

Kikyo is sympathetic, but deeply flawed. Despite knowing she is doomed never to live, she can't help but grasp at anything close to the life she desired for herself and Inuyasha, as equals and lovers. And despite knowing her turn at life is over, that she is no longer a factor in the ultimate fate of their world, she still believes that she is the only one with the power to defeat the evil that they are facing.

She dies after a life/undeath full of suffering, without reaping any of the rewards she wanted for herself — the only thing she gets in the end is a peaceful death in her lover's arms.

5. Nux — Mad Max: Fury Road

I'm such a sucker for someone who was raised in a cult, who comes out of it and comes to love the beauty they found in the world outside of their lifelong beliefs. I have so much I could say, but Nux is just so much better experienced than explained in my mind. I wish he could have lived forever.

6. Todd Chavez — Bojack Horseman

Every time I try to write paragraphs about him, it just doesn't come out right. He's the unsung hero of the show. He's a beautifully portrayed asexual character who finds fulfillment after setting hard boundaries. He has compassion for Bojack to a fault, but in the end is still able to set and keep meaningful boundaries. I just love him so much.

7. Jobu Tupaki — Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

I could write so many paragraphs. When I watched this movie for the first time, a hole in my heart was filled. There is not a single other piece of media I can think of that treats a godlike character like EEAAO treats Jobu. Being all-knowing and essentially omnipresent has rendered all material goals pointless, and relationships with people who aren't like her have no benefit in the end.

The movie has a great ending, showing that she and her mother must choose things that matter to them, to give them purpose. To me, though, there's still this big question mark in the background — it's entirely possible that they will end together in the same place that Jobu was in when the movie started, simply because that might be the ultimate final state of omniscient beings.

8. Frankenstein's Demon — Frankenstein, Mary Shelley

I didn't say "monster," because Shelley refers to him almost exclusively as a "demon/daemon" after Frankenstein learns how educated he is. He is first a monster, bumbling around committing murders and doing things without knowing the suffering he's enduring. But after he reads the books and encounters the family in the cottage, he's able to act with intention, and put words to his suffering, and all of a sudden in Shelley's words, he becomes a demon.

Essays have been written about what makes the Demon such a great character. I love him because in the end, seeing his creator's dead body, he tries to tell Frankenstein that he forgives him for his hubris. He is the first true android character in my heart of hearts.

9. Kusuriuri / The Medicine Seller — Mononoke

God, this show is a masterpiece. Kusuriuri represents a type of character that's pretty rare: he has no agenda, and in the end I don't think he even necessarily has fundamental beliefs. His mission is to resolve the turmoil of the dead which create the monsters he fights, on their terms, using "lessons" they can understand. He is entirely neutral but for that one goal. It's awesome to watch, and I absolutely CANNOT wait for the movie!!!

10. Dave Strider —  Homestuck

Listen. I hid it at the bottom of the post like a respectable, shameful Homestuck of old. He’s the best. He’s the worst. He’s transcoded. I love him. What do you want from me. I’ve clearly got some complex feelings about transmasculinity seeing as Howl is also on this list. Leave me alone. But also, I have paragraphs ready to defend this man against all wrongdoing; the only issue is that he has so many timelines, and I don’t want to subject any of the readers of this post to such things.

In all seriousness, his character helped me reckon with some very major changes in my life. For those who need it: sometimes it’s okay for your authority figures to become peers. It’s part of becoming an adult. There are just some things that are not properly articulated in short form fiction; the change from “parent/authority” to “peer/parent” is one of those things. Idk what else to say here.

[moonspirit]

PLEAAASE tell me about your writing process!!! Love your fics a lot!

Ahhhh thank you so much! I'm so happy you're enjoying them T////T

I'll explain it in the context of my current longfic. So it's usually that a song inspires a certain scene, but in some cases I have a scene that didn't come from a song, so in that case, I have to find a song that fits it first. In any case, I can't write if I don't have the music for the scene :<

Next, I outline the scenes briefly in bullet points. Like: "1. Annie does this, feelings! Worried about ____. 2.Armin buys so-and-so, chaos ensues! Hides it in Jean's room. More chaos next morning! 3.Uh, they fuck."

Next I begin writing. I currently use Google docs. I generally start from the first scene and try to write it as best as I can, but sometimes I'm not sure whether a sentence is best inserted after or before another, so I'll add "(??????)" at the end to remind myself that I'm not happy with it and to fix it later. But I move on, either to the next paragraph/sentence, or if I'm stuck in that scene/not feeling it very well, I move onto the next scene. At this stage I don't worry about grammar, tense, wording choices or anything, I just get the draft done.

When I'm more or less done with the draft, I work on it again, refine the sentences, fix poor wording choices, re-arrange paragraphs, etc. This more or less gives me the finished chapter.

What I've got left is proofreading, and when that's done, I'm done!

I've got a bunch of things to keep my ideas in order and I put them on Google keep. It's organized chaos tbh. I keep the ideas categorized in the following lists: 1. Overall message - from the starting to the end, what does this fic hope to achieve in telling? 2. Scene list (It's massive, not in order, and chaotic. I check them off when I add them into chapters so they stop cluttering the space. Whenever I get an idea for a scene, I write it down here.) 3. Subplot list (all the various underlying plots that run throughout the story across several chapters. for example, Annie's jealousy. Armin's jealousy. The Paradisians and warriors growing closer, etc.) 4. Symbolism (all the things that have little meanings on their own in the fic, so I don't just go and forget about them in later chapters. For example, Annie's hanko. The birch tree. Armin's wallet. Pieck's plants. They are items of significance that add growth and depth to the characters and the story, so it's important for me to keep thinking of them constantly.) 5. Smut ideas (this is self explanatory xD) 6. Dialogue ideas (sometimes I think of a cool line and I just write it down so I don't forget. Even dialogues that belong to the very last chapter go here. There's no order.) 7. Scenes-in-depth (So sometimes, I have a scene that comes much much later into the story, but it's already VERY vivid in my head - I write it down in detail, again, so I don't forget. I have to keep this separate from the scene outline list, or I risk cluttering that.)

Most importantly - brainrotting over it 24/7 is very important T_Tb

And that's it really!

(Sorry omg this became so long T^T Very sorry!)