#my bro is doing the rigging

[mistyycowoa]

..y'all I'm making a vtuber model with my bro. I'm doing the art and I'm somehow 90% done with the art.. in 3 days????

[ziraconarose]

Played Always Sometimes Monsters. Very fun! The plot needs to account for people truly didn’t give a shit about the ex or the book though, bc literally all I cared about was trying to make amends with Sam after realizing the PC has committed a Max Caulfield level friendship sin TWICE. Still, I got quite fond of my pathetic, sad, wet dog author of a protagonist. They hate to see a homeless Chinese gay trans boy on a friendship-redemption journey winning, yet here I am with a million dollars, a book deal, a cowboy uncle, and a clean conscience to go with the start.

[sucktacular]

trying to learn how to make Left4Dead mods, specifically a survivor model that I already have a model someone else made, BUT MY LORD im WAILING folks

not only am i back in the hell trenches that is a 3D modelling program (spits thinking about school) but also I cant find any good tutorials for Blender and, Kitten, I'll be honest. Daddy's about to kill himself (joke joke but also man this is the THIRD TIME trying again. first two times ended the exact same and i expect this one to end the same. stay tuned!!!)

ps if anyone has rigged up and put survivor models in l4d2 before I will literally draw you whatever you want, full color and shading, if you can put this fucking model for me on steam workshop. (not joking in the slightest, i have the model file I just need you to do the complex shit ; - ; it doesnt even have to be THAT GOOD i just want this fucker in my game)

[disneydatass]

“Yes some states have stricter gun laws then others but again nothing is preventing the people from literally walking up to a bass pro shop or Walmart in many areas and just buying a gun only to then travel to another state.” This is how we know that you have no clue how acquiring guns really works. A) Walmart doesn’t sell anything other than a hunting shotguns anymore. They don’t even sell handguns. Bass pro still has to- A) follow federal and state laws. You can’t buy a gun in the state you don’t live in without having it sent to an FFL and they do the paperwork and BGC. Buying a gun out of state like think happens every day is already illegal. Should we make that more illegal? Super illegal? If you want to make changes, at least be up front and honest that you don’t know shit when you make your argument. “Feels” doesn’t get very far in the face of facts, of which you’re wildly out of touch with what is and is not a fact in this case.

No one buys a hunting gun today to hunt🤡

[marmotsomsierost]

Advocating for your family and their medical care is incredibly important.

Being upset that you didn't get an explanation of exactly why your family was discharged is understandable. Even if it is clearly written in the discharge paperwork. It can be legitimately difficult to decode the papers, especially if there is a language or cognitive concern.

Like i will even grant that raising your voice and using demanding language is not necessarily the incorrect choice. Something sucks, you shouldn't have to be sweet and deferential about it.

However.

Loudly berating every single person in scrubs that you see and stating how you are advocating for your family, that you just want them to get the care we would want for our own family, we all are terrible and not doing our jobs because we don't care about our patients, we don't care about someone being in pain and how are you going to discharge a patient without running (test not usually done in the ED in a nonemergent situation) or (test you have already had because your doctor ordered it and we have literally nothing to do with in the ED because we neither performed it nor interpreted it) AND you are 'documenting who i talk to and when and what they say and i need everyone's name who says anything to me' AND after spending six hours sitting in the lobby stewing because the doctor hasn't come talk to you yet while loudly calling everyone you know to talk shit about us and rehash all of the above you say - with absolutely no sense of shame -

that you have been taking photos and video of 'people sitting on their ass' not doing anything

And when i say "You cannot take pictures in here" you say "it doesn't say i can't" and when i say "it is very clearly posted several places that it is not allowed" you say "well i don't see them" and security chimes in pointing out exactly where they are you pause and then say - again, with absolutely no shame -

"Well as much as you all haven't been doing your jobs, i clearly didn't read it"

AND THEN

And THEN you say 'i don't care, i have been documenting all of this because my lawyer told me to because this is (reiteration of entire rant from beginning)'

...THIS IS NOT ADVOCATING FOR YOUR FAMILY MY DUDE

and you are fucking lucky that you got the charge nurse and doctors that you did get because if you had a problem with doc A's attitude holy shit would you have gone ballistic nylon batshit pants if you'd had doc B. And if you'd had a different charge or a different house sup you would have been physically removed the second you said word one about taking pictures. Patients have been removed for taking pictures or video, and you're not even the patient!

"I've been here for five hours and the doctor STILL hasn't come to talk to me. That's how much this hospital is worth. They don't treat the patients right."

We have one doctor. One. If the waiting room is standing fucking room only...maybe, JUST MAYBE, he hasn't come talk to you FOR THE SECOND TIME because HE CAN'T.

...

Anyway. Fuck this day, i'm going home and i'm gonna be just this side of blowing my speakers out on some marcus miller to try and regain an iota of patience.

[aroacettorney]

tbh i feel like ludger should have committed more nuanced but inexcusable atrocities unknown to people on the level of light yagami for this narrative / aup ending to work because otherwise it doesnt make any damn sense.

ludger during the international trial: i hereby plead guilty to identity impersonation, large-scale thievery, mass murders, torturing, and destruction of the holy bretus kingdom as the demon king. due to the magnitude of my crimes, i believe i deserve a death sentence.

jury group #1, elisa & wolford, who knew his identity was sus since ages ago and even helped him keep it hidden: ......

jury group #2, eileen & facius, who very definitely have often committed political assassinations in the shadow: ......

jury group #3, marias & mi6, whose job is literally torturing people for intel: ......

jury group #4, all knight captains of the exilion kingdom, who are known for mercilessly and indiscriminately eliminating every threat against the exilion royalty: ......

jury group #5, everyone who attended the holy war, voluntarily or involuntarily, and even lent a hand in killing the holy emperor themselves: ......

[wtylas]

had a surreal day today

[lizlovestofangirl]

"i wanna be yours"

basketballplayer!lukecastellan x unclaimed!reader

smau - your instagram if you were dating basketball player luke

🎧 - i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys

a/n: hi! i was really out of motivation to make anything, but you guys voted smau! i really want to try headcannons so pls leave asks for whatever you want to see! also, i'm getting close to 100 followers which is super exciting, thank you so much for the support :) (also, i know this is shorter than usual but i really like it!)

*swearing and suggestive content, not checked so there might be mistakes*

--------------------------------------------------------

liked by yn_yln, hi_imtyson, and others

itslukecastellan ballin w the boys

tagged hi_imtyson, _groverunderwood, percy.jackson, iamchrisrodriguez

view comments:

percy.jackson the teams were rigged

itslukecastellan you tripped over air

iamchrisrodriguez nah u and g-man are just bad

whosannabeth LMAOOO

yn_yln i, a proud viewer of this game, can confirm that not all demigods are good at basketball

percy.jackson ouch

itslukecastellan are u calling me bad?

yn_yln luke read that again

itslukecastellan oh sorry i missed the not im dyslexic af

_groverunderwoood well im a saytr so HA

yn_yln not all saytr are good either

larueclarisse put chris on a team with percy nect time he needs his ego checked

itslukecastellan will do

iamchrisrodriguez jeez clar

iamchrisrodriguez tuff

larueclarisse how you felt after commenting that: 🐺

silenaaaa the lighting is garbage

itslukecastellan ur garbage

yn_yln he doesnt mean that

yn_yln HOT

itslukecastellan thank you my love

percy.jackson you have him BLUSHING y/n

iamchrisrodriguez i thought i was your love 😔

itslukecastellan fuck off chris

yn_yln's story

view reply from itslukecastellan:

itslukecastellan that was unkind

yn_yln 😇

view reply from iamchrisrodriguez:

iamchrisrodriguez new luke blackmail unlocked

yn_yln theres more where that came from trust

view reply from larueclarisse:

larueclarisse how did he pull u 😭

yn_yln idk maybe the jawline

larueclarisse bros been mewing since birth

yn_yln STOP

[angel-sweets666]

Cast me a spell

barbarian! Bakugo x witch Afab! reader one shot

A barbarian needs a spell to cause the downfall of his enemies, he found just the witch to do it

warnings: smut

chapter two here

a/n bro I just freestyled this 😭😭 btw I made it afab cuz it’s smut and I probs can’t write gay sex rn but everything else is gender neutral trust. Also this is my first time writing smut so please don’t judge 😭

Bakugo is aged up to 20

Bakugo groaned as he walked in forest, dry leaves and twigs snapping under his boot. Bakugo had been sent by his tribe to find a witch, a witch who would rig the war they were in and beat the other tribe. Bakugo didn’t know why he had to go, there were so many barbarian men who would go! Why’d it have to be him! The elders found him the strongest clearly, that’s got to be a good sign. Maybe he’ll inherit the chief title from his father…. Bakugo shook the thoughts away as he looked around for some kind of cabin, some sort of suggestion to show there is a witch out here like the elders say, maybe they’ll see bakugo is strong and worthy if he manages to make the witch come with him back to the tribe. Bakugo whistled while looking around, suddenly a fox came up to his legs and sat by him “what..? What do you want you pest” he tried to kick the fox, but the fox dodged it and used his head to tell bakugo to come with him “I’m not going with a fox forget it.”

bakugo continued walking before the fox yelped out and four more foxes appeared, all different colours. What stood out to him was how one fox seemed to have a light purple almost lavender colour, the sun made it difficult to see however “huh..? No I don’t trust no fo- OUCH!” Bakugo yelped as all 5 foxes bit him and tried to drag him too the other way “fine! Fine! I’ll follow you..” bakugo grumbled, seemingly annoyed. The foxes let go and began to lead bakugo down a pathway, he began to see fruits and vegetables being grown on a sort of farm. Bakugo at first thought that the foxes were leading him to a farmer and this was some sort of advertisement but he was proved wrong when he saw a fairy dust like powder float above the crops and then be placed ontop, making the crops grow almost twice their size and look healthier. Then he noticed the clearly unnatural cloud of rain water the plants, it was so close to the ground that there was no way it was natural. It just hovered over the crops in a neat line. Then the natural sun seemed to do some good. Bakugo noticed that the creatures seemed to look more mythical the further he went, once black birds were now beautiful shades of blue, pink, yellow ect. Cats and bunnies around began to come up in more colourful shades too, bright blue and green eyes watching. Now the flowers had a glow, they were all gold and sparkling. Everything looked unnatural and non normal���mythical, almost fairy tail like… he began to hear the humming of a person he was preparing for a ugly hag.. but no, a beautiful person with a equally as mythical look to them! You! A fox went up the To you and you got on your knees to “hear” what it had to say, then… you looked up at bakugo

“what are you needing…?” You asked him as you raised to your feet “I.. Uhm… I need something, my tribe actually. My tribe needs something” he informed you “needs… needs what?” You began to walk towards bakugo “a bad luck spell.. something like that. We’re at war and…” “you want me to rig it..?make ‘em loose?” You interrupted him “how’d you know…?” Bakugo was shocked “I know this stuff, now.. do you want them to loose..?” You asked softly and he nodded “I think.. I think I have just the thing, come inside” you used your finger to motion him to come inside. You began to mix up a potion, full of that gold flower, the fairy dust like powder, a couple fruits, some other unknown ingredients ect… you put it in a bottle that while it looked small, could fit a whole tribes worth of water. Then you stepped towards a book shelf, looking through the spell books available to you. You made a “ah” sound and then pulled a dusty book, blowing the dust off. “Do you have anything of the uh.. other sides” you asked him “like their hair or some shit?” He asked aggressively “that could work, clothes, arrows they shot, accessories, blood. Anything that come from the other team”

Bakugo thought for a moment, “uh… I have a piece of one of their swords” he pulled a bloodied peice of metal out from one of his pockets, dried blood falling off and onto his fingers “that works!” You grabbed the piece of metal and placed it by an unlit candle, grabbing a match and lighting it. You reached over to light the candle and then sat by the candle and began to whisper something, like a prayer. “What are you doing?” He asked, you ignored him and continued your whispering “answer me” he grumbled, you looked at him then closed your eyes again. Once again continuing your whispering, after a couple of minutes you finished and slowly stood back up “doing a spell, as per you asked.” You grabbed the glass bottle full of the potion “you feed these to your armies, you’ll be strong enough and the war will be over in a day or two” you said quietly to him as you placed the bottle into his hand, and closed his hand for him. “What would it taste like?” He asked “like water, what do you think?” You leaned your weight onto one hip “I don’t know, like shit?” He rolled his eyes “don’t get an attitude with me” you got up into his face “who are you talking to like that?” He grumbled “you obviously” you chuckled then walked off. Grabbing herbs and other stuff, clearly organising stuff “what you just going to stand there?” You asked, wondering if he was going to leave anytime soon, looking over your shoulder at him. “Could you come back with me? To my tribe?” He asked with his typical rough deep voice “why would I do that?” You placed books in a wooden book shelf “we need your help” “I’ve already helped you haven’t I?” “Just do it.” He grumbled at you, grabbing your shoulder “mmmm no” you said

in pure frustration with you bakugo picked you up and threw you over his shoulder “oi! Why’d you do that!” You kicked in an attempt to get away from him “get over it princess” he chuckled as he pushed the door open with his body and then walked you in the forests back to his tribe, holding your body over his shoulder and your legs down with his arms to prevent you from kicking him “out me down put me down!” You screamed as you yanked at his hair, he didn’t notice nor did he care. “Will you be good and not walk off? You’ll follow me?” He asked as his ego got larger and larger “ughhhhhh fine!”you agreed, he leaned down and placed you down onto the ground “you owe me, I rigged a tribal war for you” you said with a obvious attitude “oh yeah? What do I owe you? A animal? Weird ingredients for your freaky potions? A quest? Sex? A man from my tribe once had to sleep with a witch for potions” he listed off his ideas “why would I sleep with you? Your egos probably bigger than your dick.” You crossed your arms in frustration “someone’s got an attitude” bakugo playfully shoved you “don’t even.”

you went back to bakugos tribe, he gave his tribe the potion you gave them, the war just like you said was over in a day. You ended up having to follow bakugo around because you didn’t know anyone else as well, you eventually had gotten used to the change, by the sixth month of living there you were considered one of them. I’ve had atleast 50 people come up to me asking if your my spouse/wife/husband” he said while you two were going for a walk “well lucky I’m not” you chuckled “maybe you should be, I’ll need a wife/spouse/husband when I become chief” you blushed deeply “w-w-what..?”you stuttered “it’s true, they don’t let people who aren’t married be chief. I’m next in line to be chief and I’m not married” he informed you “are you trying to propose to me? You’ve known me a whole of 6 months!” You said in surprise “my parents got married after 3” “is that like a cultural thing?” You asked “yeah… the other tribes get married after a later time, I guess this is what we’ve always done, we done need to love each other, just so I become chief.” He says “so this is a proposal?” Your eyebrows raised “yes I suppose it is.” Bakugo grumbled “I’ll think about it”

you laid in bed that night as you stared at the roof of your hut, thinking about what bakugo said. You slowly rolled out of bed and put some shoes and stumbled out of your wooden hut and looked towards bakugos hut, the light from his windows suggest he was still awake. You slowly walk towards his hut, the sound of grass beneath your feet. Most huts were dark, a way to say the people in them were asleep; not bakugo though. Bakugo stayed up late training. You knocked on bakugos door, you could hear him put something down then walk towards the door; he opened the door and he looked down towards you “oh.. hello” he said in surprise “I Uhm…whatcha doing?” “Working out, your supposed to be asleep” he furrowed his eyebrows “yeah I know but I can’t sleep” you said as you walked into his hut, flopping onto his bed “don’t get too comfy there” he sat down next to you “your beds comfier then mine though….” You whined and got yourself buried into his bed sheets, he sneakily wrapped an arm around you “what are you doing..?” You asked him “nothing..” he said with a smile “your really trying when it comes to this whole getting married thing..” you whispered to him, his hand reached for your hips “maybe I am…. Maybe I’m not” he sighed and rubbed your side. You rolled over to lean on his chest a bit, you used light magic to make fire flies appear, having a sort of light show appear. Bakugo watched it and smiled “have you always been able to do that..?” He asked “since I was around 8 maybe…” you replied, bakugo reached into your shirt, softly rubbing your chest. You whimpered softly, he smiled and leaned down to kiss your neck. “Do you want me to stop?” He asked softly “no…” you replied.

you slowly wiggled out of your bottoms, he watched you do it from above. He smiled softly at the sight. “Should we just get straight at it?” He asked softly as he unbuckled his belt, an obvious buldge in his pants. He grabbed you by your hips and pulled you towards him “just be a good girl him?” He grumbled and managed to pull his pants down and pulled his member out “tell me if it hurts bub” he says softly “okay.. yeah I can do that” you nodded, you felt him slowly push inside of your body. He let out a slight grunt, you bit down on your bottom lip. He eventually bottomed out which didn’t take long due to the size of his length. “C-can I uh… mmph.. m-move now..?” He whined softly “mhm..” you whines and spread your legs a little bit wider for more access to your body. He slowly pulled out almost all the way only for him to push back in, you yelped and wrapped your arms around his neck. Burying your face into his neck while he thrusted into you, stretching you out. It had been a while since either of you had done something like this so it was obvious why he was so needy. He gripped your waist softly and eventually found a pace that both of you found pleasurable. You let out a moan as he began to go a bit faster with you, the tip of him tapping against your cervix, the knot in your belly began to tighten suggesting the fact you were getting close “mmph..” he whimpered as he buried his face into your neck, you reached up to pet his hair. You moaned and whined. Eventually his thrusted became sloppy and more like he was chasing his own climax, the knot in your tummy threatened to burst and eventually… it did. The warmth of his cum going inside you was a comforting feeling

“you know maybe I will marry you…”

[dandylovesturtles]

Decided to write a quick little something for @whumperless-whump-event Day 4: chronic pain/"I'm used to it."

featuring, of course, Sidelined Leo!

like I said before, since it's disability pride month I'd like to do a few things for the Sidelined AU, so hopefully I will find time for more as the days go. For now, I hope you enjoy this!

-----

Leo can tell it's going to be a bad day the moment he wakes up.

The pain in his arms and legs has grown from it's constant dull thrum to a more present burn, and there's a pinch between his eyes that tells him a headache is on the way. Really, he's not surprised; the last few days have been really good. He even went out on a mission two days ago, and did a little skateboarding yesterday. It stands to reason that his body has crashed out on him.

Sometimes he feels angry and bitter about it. Today, he just feels a sort of resigned acceptance. And that means maybe it won't be such a bad day after all.

He hits the button on the side of the bed so it bends him into a reclined position, then fumbles around on his side table until his hand lands on his pill organizer. He should probably text someone to bring him water, but it feels like a pain, so he dry swallows them one by one and just resolves not to mention doing that to Dad or Raph.

Then he finally blinks the sleep out of his eyes and looks around his room and... darn it, his chair isn't here. Where'd he even leave it...

His memory is a complete blank on that one, so he sighs and clears his throat.

"Hey, Shell-man?"

There's only a second of silence before Shelldon's voice echoes from who even knows where. Donnie rigged his new room with more electronics than Leo will ever know about.

"S'up bro?"

"You know where my chair is?" he asks, like Shelldon can't track it instantly.

"You left it in the arcade, dude," comes the answer. "Want me to wheel it over?"

Yeah, no way he's getting himself to the arcade today. "Sure, thanks, Shelly."

"No problem, dude!"

Leo lets his head flop back on his pillows while he wants for his chair to be delivered. He fumbles around for his phone this time and takes a look at his reminders.

6:00 PM: Concert with Mikester

"Crap," he mutters, closing his eyes. Right, that yokai hip-hop group Mikey wanted to go see. Leo had promised he'd go with him, but he doubts he'll be able to do it now.

It's not that big a deal. Raph or Donnie will probably go with him if Mikey makes big enough puppy eyes at them. It's just, Leo had been kinda excited about it, too...

The dark buzz that heralds his anxiety flares up, and he sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slow. He doesn't want this day to turn terrible. He needs to relax and accept the things he can't change, like April always says. Even when it sucks.

There's a whir of electronics that signals the arrival of his chair. Leo waits until it parks itself next to his bed, then he swings his legs over the bed and stands up just long enough to sit down in the chair again. Even that leaves him feeling a little winded, but he doubts his arms could have handled the transfer so he doesn't bother trying.

He wheels around his room until he finds his big comfy unicorn hoodie, then drives out into the rest of the lair, making his way up the ramp to the kitchen. He can smell breakfast cooking, and hear Raph's voice.

"Morning fam," he says as he comes in, trying to keep his voice upbeat even though he already feels tired.

"Morning Leo!" Mikey echoes, turning around with a whole plate of waffles. His smile falters a little when he sees the chair and the hoodie. "Oof. Flare up?"

"Yeah," he admits, steering his chair into the empty part of the kitchen table. Mikey sets the waffle plate down, and without having to be asked Raph starts fixing some for Leo, with blueberries on top.

It took work for them both to find the line between helping and babying, but they're better at this now. Leo doesn't mind Raph helping him out this way, especially because he'd rather not make a mess of the kitchen table.

"Mikey, can you grab my fat fork?"

"It has a name," says a tired voice behind him, and Leo smirks as Donnie comes around the side and makes for the coffee machine.

"I just used it. It's the fat fork."

"It's a GeniusBuilt Secure Grip Adjustable Fork-"

"I'm not saying all that."

Donnie huffs. Mikey snickers, swinging around him to deliver the fork with the thick grip to Leo. He has another set with a loop that can secure to his hand if he needs it, but this one is fine for now.

"Here!

"Thanks Angelo."

"Did you take your meds this morning?" Raph asks.

"Yes, Mom," says Leo, rolling his eyes as he cuts off a bite of waffle.

"Really? 'Cause Raph didn't hear you ask anyone to bring you water-"

"I had some leftover Gatorade in my room," Leo lies quickly.

"Uh-huh." Raph looks at him skeptically. "Leo, you know taking pills without water hurts your throat."

"Meh meh meh, you'll hurt your throat," Leo repeats in a mocking voice. Raph reaches over like he's going to cuff Leo on the head, then seems to rethink it and steals some of his blueberries instead. "Hey!"

"You are all so noisy already," comes Splinter's voice, and he finally comes into the room to join them, wearing the robe he slept in. He looks up at Leo in his chair. "Are you in pain, Blue?"

Leo hums an affirmative. "It's not that bad, though," he adds, because it's not. Comparatively.

Now it's his dad's turn to look skeptical. "Are you sure?"

Leo grimaces. "It's... a little worse than normal," he amends. "But I can handle it."

"Mmm..." Splinter walks off to get in his own seat. "Let us know if it gets worse."

"Yeah, yeah..."

The conversation moves on to other topics, up until Leo's wheelchair beeps at him. He groans, glancing down at the battery indicator, which is firmly in the red.

"You forgot to charge it, didn't you?" asks Donnie, looking amused.

"Shut up, I've been busy!" Leo snaps back.

"If you left it on the charger when you aren't using it then this wouldn't happen."

"Alright, anyone else have any criticisms for me today?" he says, except it comes out a shade too bitter and Donnie's grin falters.

Good job, Leon, way to be a dick. He winces, focusing again on his waffles. His arm is sore from the effort of eating and he wants to crawl back in bed and stay there, which is exactly the sort of attitude he's been trying to avoid.

"...I have the backup chair in the lab if you need it," says Donnie. A peace offering.

"Thanks," says Leo, returning it.

So after breakfast, Donnie helps him swap chairs. His main one is put on the charger and he wheels himself to the living room with the backup, then calls for Raph.

"Think you can help me get comfy, big guy?" he asks.

"Of course," says Raph with a grin. "What do you want?"

It's nice that he asks now, instead of assuming.

Leo directs him to help him onto the couch, then Raph gets him his fluffy blue blanket to cover him up. Even though he took his meds, he can feel the pain radiating at his hips and knees and he guesses he's going to need more later. He sets an alarm on his phone and settles in with a Jupiter Jim flick to fall asleep to.

He's not out yet when he hears the pad of feet, then feels the couch dip as Mikey sits next to him.

"Hey Leo," he says softly, and Leo gives a hum to let him know he's still awake. "You think... you're gonna feel up for the concert tonight?"

Oh right. Shoot. It had already slipped Leo's mind, and now he feels guilty all over again.

He opens his eyes and tilts his head so he can see Mikey. "I don't think so. I'm sorry."

"You don't gotta apologize!" says Mikey quickly. "I'm sorry you're having a rough day."

"It's fine," says Leo. "I'm used to it."

"I'm still sorry," says Mikey firmly. He gets up, then comes over so he can give Leo a very awkward couch hug. "I wish you didn't have to hurt," he says, sincerely.

Leo leans into the hug. Feels the dark buzz of anxiety ebb away.

"Hey, it's alright. All you guys make it easier."

Mikey beams at that, bouncing back up. "Hey, I know," he says. "I'll get Donnie to help me set up a sweet livestream so you can see the concert from right here!"

They don't have to go to all that trouble for him. But Leo looks up at his little brother's shining smile and can't say no.

"That'd be really cool," he says, and Mikey claps his hands.

"Yes! Okay, I'll go get Dee and we'll get on it!"

He races away. Leo chuckles, curling up under his blanket.

Maybe it won't be such a bad day after all.

[jd07201990]

Honestly dude? I kinda brought this on myself. Definitely coulda gone a little softer on my bro... I mean boyfriend, but like, come the fuck on! He came home every fuckin' day from practice, kicking off his rank shoes, and stomped all over the house leaving nasty sweaty footprints on the hardwood bro! Then he fuckin' thinks it’s cute to sneak up and hug me with his soaked tank top, as if his funk wouldn't ruin my clothes! What the fuck!

Ok, ok, looking back after everything that happened, maybe I shouldn't have called him a Nasty Sweatrag, and told him to soak himself in bleach next time... Especially not in front of the creepy Goth kid, who happens to be his little brother!

One moment, I was just shouting at him, really laying it on him, sick of the sweat and the time he spent with his bros. I guess I was a bit jealous, but damn dude! I'm his bro! I mean, his girlfriend... or at least I was, until I made him cry and his brother glared from the corner of the room, seething.

In that split second before my stomach heaved, I knew I'd fucked up bad. Like, really bad bro! The world fuckin spun, I hacked and spluttered, then everything went black. I woke up later that day in a bedroom that was distinctly mine, but totally different. When I sat up and noticed my B-Cups were flat, solid, and square, my nipples small and pointing downward with the new bulk, I knew I was fucking JACKED brah! I, I mean I was fucked... this is a bad thing damn it! I'm not some lumbering meathead! fuck!

Anyway, I tossed my sheets, and noticed the rest of me. I was definitely taller, with big, clammy feet like my best bro... I mean boyfriend's, dangling off the end of my bed. My legs were thick, solid and capable of carrying the added bulk I'd suddenly packed on. The entire room reeked of humid funk. There were dirty clothes all over the floor by the hamper, battered, worn old sneakers and cleats by door in a heap, and my Vanity had become a fuckin' beast of a gaming rig dude! Fuck yeah! Wait... no, I don't game damn it! I'm not a fuckin' dude!

the rest of the room had changed similarly. Everything that could have pointed to a female living here, was now distinctly male. And that of a Big, Dumb, Sweatrag of a dude, as I'd called my bro earlier. However... it didn't bother me. I could barely smell it over the pungent fog that came from my muscled-up body. I was swole! And kinda gross dude, not gonna lie... But like, I can't fuckin help it! It’s like there's a fuckin' furnace inside me, burning up everything it’s got to keep me pumped and riled, on edge so bad I can't stop myself from fidgeting. my hands just, do their thing dude! One minute I'm lookin' in the mirror, the next I'm groping my fuckin Rod... I, woah... ok, it might be getting worse! I meant my fuckin' cock! I, I mean dick! Fucking damn it!

You know what, whatever. like I said, one minute I'm standing there, the next I've got my dick in my hand, or groping my fuckin nuts like those behemoths at the gym! Or it'll slide up my shirt, lifting it up while I don't even realize it. There’re all kinds of fuckin' weird dude things happening, and I can't stop any of it! My bod fuckin does as it wants if I'm not actively fighting it! The worst, and I mean it, the absolute fuckin worst, is when I've just scratched my junk good, and suddenly, like fuckin instinct, I'm sniffin' my fuckin fingers like a damn animal! What the fuck dude! All the fuckin' bros say its natural, that its some caveman shit... I might believe them, because it happens with my pits too! Just, standing there hittin' up one of the pretty chicks... I... I mean uh... my old friends... and then wham! sweaty pit fingers all up in my grill!

My Bro's little brother, the creepy Goth kid caught up with me when I'd all but sprinted the few blocks to his and my bro.. I mean my fuckin' boyfriend's house. I was just coming to terms with the fact that I'd hauled ass down the street, half naked, when He opened the door, and busted out laughing. Even when I had him dangling off the floor by his hoodie, threatening to squash his scrawny little pipsqueak ass, he cackled, before his eyes flared, and in an instant, his hand was out, my nipple in his fingers, as a cold pain flashed over my chest, and I looked down to see my nip was pierced, a silver barbell forcing it to stick out, perked up and stiff.

My jaw fell, and I dropped his ass, trying to form words as this wild, aggression filled me. The fuckin' goth punk crossed his arms and smirked, just as the piercings, or rather, the hex he'd put on them, erupted to life. I felt as if my brain was being squeezed from the inside, as if this fuckin' loser had his hands on it, wringing it out like a wet towel. I clutched my head, stumbling until I hit the couch, and sat, my legs splaying wide to give my fuckin' junk some room, like any dude does, when I felt the pressure lesson, and a strange, warmth began to flow from the back of my head, down my spine, and settled into my fuckin balls dude! It was like having all your smarts and who you are, drained down and stored where it belongs bro! Brains in your fuckin balls!

Fuck... no wait! He said if I couldn't fight it, if I didn't learn what it was like being an athletic dude, I'd lose everything I was, and end up just another sweaty meathead, lumbering around the gym, lifting big, gettin fucking swole, and plowing my way through chicks until graduation! I had to fight it; I couldn't give up. And my bro wasn't fuckin' helping!

He was always a fuckin' Golden Retriever, happy and dopey and dumb, I shoulda realized he was a good dude and I was lucky, before I'd been Bro'd up and brain squeezed out! Now, my fuckin' bro loves taking me to the gym, putting this body through its paces, even throwing fuckin shade when he got a whiff of my fuckin' pits! He laughs, but dude? I'm fuckin ripe, always am since his little brother turned up the juice and made sure I fit right in with the bros. My bro... boyfriend... finds it hilarious when he catches me flexing in the mirror while pumpin' out reps, or when I have to peel off my tank cus it got too damn soaked! Just look at my fuckin boxer briefs bro! See that sweat? Thats a fuckin' Man's sweat! I'm a fuckin beast bro!

All I had to do was last 1 week. Live like a fuckin dude for 7 days, learn my lesson, and I'd have my old life back. That shouldn't have been hard... well, I shouldn't have been hard, when my best friend Laura forgot what was in my fuckin pants one night while I stayed over, and fuck if I didn't end up railin' her for a good hour, before I realized too late that I'd be stuck as a sweaty dude if I shot my 5-day pent up load! She gave me no option. Teasing me about being a big dumb meathead, all brawn, no brains, thinking with my fuckin' dick, and the last straw, the moment that ensured I'd be a dude forever, was when she bit and nibbled her way down my neck, her nails leaving red scratches along my fuckin back, until she bit my nipple, playing with the barbell with her tongue, and I fuckin lost it. Just fuckin plowed in, balls deep, and shot my load. That was it, everything that had made me a girl, had unloaded with high velocity into my best friend's belly. I nearly blacked out, my big feet scrabbling in the sheets trying to get deeper as my balls drained desperately. When it was over, I fell to the side in bed, gasping as she panted and giggled, tracing her nails through the sweat dribbling down my pecs. It’s been a month since I'd lost both my temper, and my female body... but fuckin look at me brah?! The bros and I are fuckin swole! My bro says I'm far better off this way, and Laura does her part, keeping the damn Male Aggression and insatiable need in my balls, satisfied. There's a reason dudes are the way they are. Sometimes, they just can't help it.

[demonsword586]

Horn grinding headcanons! Niflheim

(I'm gonna be honest,this took way too long to write and I feel like I kinda missed the theme of this series with this work...I also feel like my writing was a bit off....I don't know how to feel about this one!)

Gusion

-bro paint those horns,it's impossible to find them

-he's already tired af and done with everything,so when you ask to grind on his horns....he just sighs

-he suddenly grabs you and puts you on his lap.He then puts his hand in your pants and starts using his long fingers on you while grabbing a pen with his free hand and going back to his math problems.

-He then tells you ''If you can survive a few hours of this maybe I'll let you use my horns''

-but a few hours for Gusion means a whole damn afternoon!

-That fucking tease is rubbing,pinching and fingering you with one hand while doing math with the other,looking absolutelly unfazed. Heck he's not even checking on you,even tho you're trembling in his lap after your 8 th orgasm.

-when the sun goes down so does his pen and he finally looks down at you. He gently cradles your body before throwing you on his bed

-you're still recovering from his previous torture,he's already pulling his tie off and tying your hands together with it.He lies his head on your lower stomach and looking up at you seducevlly

-you're in for a long night

Bathin

-Hmm....now he has an intresting horn.On one hand it looks pretty sharp but maybe it's just the angle...I bet the tips are actually smooth....the swirl also reminds me of a knife but I hope it's not like one....so this could either be painful or really enjoyable!

-Let's set the scene! You two are sitting on a comfy blanket on a field,moonlight shining on the two of you. As his head lays on your lap while he rambles on about a book he's reading,you stare at his very asteticlly shaped horn before getting a sudden horny idea.

-While he's talking,you sneak your hand from his hair to his horn,gently caressing it which get's a quick reaction out of him. He slowly stops talking mid sentence,his cheeks slowly turning a light shade of pink while he covers his mouth and looks away from you. ''My little star...you shoudn't touch someone's horn like this..it's very sensitive for us devils..'' he says with a meek voice,stopping a few times to cathch his breath.

-''Oh? You seem to like it tho. Maybe we could even use it for something more...intresting~'' You say in return,your voice lower then normal.

-With you touching one of his erogenous zones and suggesting something so perverted,outside even!.....let's just say he's not one to refuse you.

-The act in it's own is very sweet and fluffy. He does most of the work while also being carefull not to accidentally hurt you. He caresses your legs throughout it all. Just make sure to praise him and tell him how good you feel. He's pretty quiet,only making a few grunts and a slight whimper

-now imagine all of this but he's wearing a sailor moon costume

Andrealphus

-now I like this. Beautiful shape,rigged,long! That's what I want in a devil! Plus there's so much surfice and ways to grind on....

-Okay imagine that he finally comes home after being gone for days. When he returns he's all covered in blood,probably coming back from another massacre. As a good partner,you offer to help him bathe.

-Now you are running your hands through his long hair while he's soaking in the tub.As you are washing his hair,you notice his pretty horns and get an idea.

-You slide your hands down to his shoulders and softly whisper into his ear ''Andrealhus~ Can I borrow your horns please? I promise you'll enjoy it too.~''

-his breath hitches at your hot breath against his ear,he closes his eyes with a frown ''No...you'll get dirty with blood'' Now obviouslly he's just trying to make excuses! Why? Simply...he doesn't wish to hurt you. He knows how strong he is and since he spends most of his time hunting and torturing angels,he's afraid he might lose control and cause you pain.

-But you are not satisfied with that! You then slide one of your hands down his chest,softly caressing it and with the other one,you gently trace his horns ''But Andrealphus! You been gone for a week...you can't expect me to not be needy when you come back. Plus..I missed you so much! Please don't make me wait any longer~'' you whine sensually in his ear.

-Now you are really testing his limits. Screw all his morals! If you want it,you'll get it. Doesn't mean he'll be rough tho.

-As soon as he hears you pleading,he releases a long groan.He grabs your hips and gently places you in the water,right between his legs.

-Andreaplhus then starts gliding his fingers along your body. From your collarbone to your chest,down along your stomach and lower until he reaches your privates.

-When he touches your most sensitive area,which is now even more sensitive than normal cuz of your horniness,you get startled and yelp before jumping back on your feet.

-Your reaction suprises him a bit but then he smiles innocently and pulls you back near him.He grabs your leg and lifts it over his head. With his horn now between your thighs,pressed against you. With a husky voice he says ''Looks like you really did miss me. You're so sensitive today...let me guess,you been touching yourself a lot while I was out.''

-You whimper softly and nod before placing your hands on his other hrn and humping the one between your legs.

-he groans and gently holds on the flesh of your thighs,holding them firmlly enough to stop your movement. He then slowly bobs his head while making sure you stay in place

-Now you have this gigantic killing machine of a devil,melting under you,doing his best to be sweet and gentle with you while also melting uder your touch. His horns already slick with pre-milk.

-After a few minutes of soft passion,his movements start getting faster and sloppier,warning that he's close to climax.Seeing his blushing face,his quick breaths makes you feel your own orgasm approaching. You press yourself even closer to him which makes you cum first. Feeling your juices hit his horns and your knees tremble,he arrives as well,moaning your name with his soft voice

-imagine if he looked at you with that bloodthirsty smile in between the act

[mothocean]

Fuck it. Steampunk era new albion tumblr

⚙️ mcallisterindustries Follow

Today is the 40th anniversary of the death of my beloved mother, Annabel Mcallister, whose passion for science has inspired me since i was a young boy. Without her, the memory of her death aching in my heart, driving me to pursue a way to bring back those lost to time, Mcallister Industries wouldn't be where it is today. To honor her memory, we are holding a 30% sale on all new doll models, and a 1+1 deal on reanimating newly dead loved ones! Call 1-DOLL-800 to find out more about upcoming sales and order your loved one's new doll body today!

5 notes

💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

We're meeting again at the crossroads tonight!! Bring your doll-ay doll-ay spirit!

- Mod B

#voodoopunk #vote voodoopunk we dance with you on your graves

704 notes

💀 voodoopunk-official Follow 🔁 averagealbioncitizen Follow

🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow

man can these dolls play literally anything else. i keep retuning my granny's radio but it always plays that elysian night song :(((

🔁 💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

You just don't get it like we do

- mod A

1 notes

🟥 redhairedbisexual Follow 🔁 redhairedbisexual

🟥 redhairedbisexual Follow

my bro died so i have to take over the family business now :(( anyway hmu if you need anything special iykyk 😜🤙💯

🔁 🟥 redhairedbisexual Follow

update: who tf keeps stealing our stock im gonna fucking bootleg doll you

7 notes

👑 aliceinfutureland Follow

made some progress today :) the angels will be proud

0 notes

🤖 doll34221543 Follow 🔁 doll356857543 Follow

🌠 newalbionmayor-official Follow

Elysium, the silent sighed lost lullaby...

56.7K notes

💀 voodoopunk-official Follow 🔁 bi-bye-byron Follow

🕶 destroy-da-dollz-deactivated

🔁 🎩 bi-bye-byron Follow

JASPERSWEEP

🔁 👯‍♀️ dykes4dolls Follow

What a self own lmao

🔁 💞 dollay-darling Follow

op did u really think people were gonna vote against the doll? On the voodoopunk website?

🔁 🕶 destroy-da-dollz-deactivated

'voodoopunk website' up my ass y'all let the power get to your head. You fucking rusty ass stoner cultists ain't gonna last here

🔁 💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

THEY DEACTIVATED HAHA GET REKT

- mod B

4,306 notes

🕶 crossroads-acolyte-deactivated

My dad's been really terrible lately... at least i have the dolls to comfort me

🔁 🕶 crossroads-acolyte-deactivated

Their song is so beautiful... if only i could join them...

🔁 🕶 crossroads-acolyte-deactivated

Elysium, the silent sighed lost lullaby

Elysian night

Read more

2 notes

🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow 🔁 voodoopunk-official Follow

💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

With great agony, we announce the passing of one of our dear members. Mod A, also known as Acolyte Amelia, you will be missed.

- Mod B

🔁 🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow

I KNEW THOSE DOLLS WERE PROBLEMATIC FROM THE START UGH... don't support the voodoopunks they're lying to you #killthedolls #antivoodoopunk

🔁 💀 voodoopunk-official Follow

Amelia didn't die because of the dolls dumbass you're just using her death as a means to further your stupid political agenda smh 🙄

- Mod B

🔁 🤵 averagealbioncitizen Follow

AND YOU AREN'T???

36.8K notes

🚫 destroy-da-dollz-remade Follow

I FUCKING TOLD YOU GUYS

#anti voodoopunk #kill the dolls #i fucking said it from the start but y'all didn't LISTEN

0 notes

🤵‍♀️ kate-the-nyarrator

can anyone even hear me

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Yandere Frat Bro x Shy! Fem! Reader pt.2

TW: Spanking, masturbation, humping

When you wake up in Ben's bed, you are terrified, especially since you are naked. 

"You awake, darling?" Ben asks, turning over to face you.

"Shit! I'm so sorry if we had a one-night stand. I probably drank too much, and now I'm in bed with you," You apologize, scrambling out of the bed.

"Oh, it's ok, darling. A girl like you couldn't have handled my drink anyway. Besides, we can always have sex sober whenever we want now that we're dating," Ben replies, grabbing your body and kissing your neck. "You're all mine, baby. Come on. Let's get dressed and get you that plan b unless you want a baby with me."

"No, no, I definitely don't want a baby. Ugh! My pelvis hurts!" You groan, holding your stomach for comfort.

"It's ok. I'll get you that pill and some breakfast. Stay here, and don't move a muscle," Ben says, kissing your forehead and pulling the covers over your body.

Ben gets dressed and leaves his room. You look around his room and see the posters of athletes and several pop culture movies. His pillows smell like cologne and sweat, and you relax as you start to fall asleep again. That was until another fraternity member opened Ben's door and found you there.

"Oh, look. It's the girl Ben is obsessed with. Did you two have a good time?" Some white boy with black hair asks, sitting on your side of the bed.

"I'm sorry, Ben is obsessed with me?" You ask, sitting up. 

"You bet he is. He was so obsessed with you that it became bothersome. That's why he had the party last night, that's why we gave Ben those special pills, that's why we got your friend Cassidy to bring you. It was so Ben could finally have time with you, and he would stop rambling about you 24/7," The boy explains, making adrenaline pump through your veins.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave," You say, ignoring the pain from sex and running out of the frat house with only the sheets. 

You run to your dorm and lock yourself in your room. You change into some polka dot pajamas and hide underneath the covers. Your phone buzzes to life, and Ben is blowing up your text messages.

Baby, where are you?

Why are my sheets missing?

I brought breakfast and plan b for you.

Where are you?

Y/N, please answer me. 

Y/N

Y/N

Y/N-

You throw your phone to the floor and put your head on your pillow, ignoring the world. You close your eyes and hope everything that happened was a dream.

"Hi, Ben..." Cassidy says, unlocking the door.

You wake up and turn your body so your back faces the door.

"I'm pretty sure she's in there," Cassidy replies, closing the door and going back to her room.

Knock knock knock

You groan and put the pillow over your head, hoping it helps you ignore the noise.

"Y/N, I brought food for you. Y/N, I know you're in there. Don't you want your medicine?" Ben asks, making you get out of bed.

He is right. You do need that plan b unless you want to be connected to Ben forever. You open your door, looking at Ben with tired eyes.

"Just give me the plan b and get out," You say, making Ben's heart twitch in pain.

Your words hurt him, but he won't be affected by it.

"Y/N, you're not spending the day by yourself. I know you're in pain and need some relaxation and aftercare," Ben argues, barging into your room and locking the door. "Here's your food and your pill. Eat the food before you take the pill."

Ben hands you a Chick-fil-A bag, and you pull out your favorite breakfast items. He lifts you onto your bed and sits near you as he takes out his food. The two of you eat in silence for a while, until Ben asks for a pillow to put under your feet.

"Here. By the way, thanks for the food and pill," You say, handing Ben a pillow. "I'm still mad at you for making a campus-wide plot to drug me."

"In my defense, I didn't come up with the drugging part. That was my fraternity. I just wanted to kidnap you and take you on a date," Ben replies, rubbing and massaging your feet. "But I mean, you did enjoy the sex we had, right?"

"I won't be answering that question. I refuse to answer that question."

"Aww, please! I need to know if I satisfied you!"

"Nope. You won't be getting that secret out of me until my deathbed."

Ben groans and puts both of your trash into the empty bag. Then, he crawls next to you and kisses your cheek. He takes out a Tylenol pill and slips it in your mouth. You swallow and take a deep breath.

"I have the whole day planned out for us. Lunch is tacos, and dinner is Chili's. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Ben asks, slipping an arm around your waist. 

You feel strangely relaxed in his arms and turn to face Ben.

"Yeah, that's fine with me. Wait, you didn't drug me again, did you?" You ask, sitting up a bit.

"Nope. I just used my charm and kindness. Now, do you want a back massage or not?" Ben responds, his hands roaming your back. "Just so you know, I'll always give you an aftercare day after we have sex."

That was it for you. A day of food, relaxation, and massages was enough for you to overlook his yandereness. After all, you are a foodie at heart.

"Sure," You moan, turning over on your stomach and letting Ben massage your back.

Ben's hands feel up your boobs, and you look at him.

"Sorry, I can't help it. Your boobs are too cute not to grope," Ben says, lining his crotch up with your ass. "You don't mind if I hump you a little?"

"You're one bothersome horny dog," You answer, teasing Ben by rubbing your ass on Ben. "Just finish the massage, and we can sleep."

"In...a...minute!" Ben moans, humping your pajama bottoms faster. "Ggh!"

Ben cums in his underwear while groping your boobs hard. He takes off his pants and crawls into bed with you. Ben makes you the little spoon, kissing the crook of your neck. Suddenly, he flips you over and holds your head against his chest.

"Did you really think I wouldn't punish you for running away?" Ben whispers, his hands roaming your ass.

"Wait-"

Ben spanks your ass, making you hide your face in his chest out of shame. It's not your fault he knows all of your kinks. 

"Look at me, baby. This is for your own good," Ben says, grabbing your face and making you look him in the eyes.

"Please, spank me more," You plead, blushing from embarrassment.

Ben smirks and takes the belt off of his pants. He swats it at your butt, and you moan. Your hands pull down your pants and twitch as his belt hits your bare ass.

"Oh yes, punish me like the bad girl I am!" You moan, practically melting in his arms. "Fuck, I'm gonna-"

You cum onto Ben's thighs, making both of you sigh. Ben kisses you and rubs your ass.

"I love you," Ben says, rubbing your head.

"I love you, too," You say, kissing his neck.

[agentcalypso]

my (mostly) coherent thoughts on the vengeance saga

spoilers obviously (and once again written during the livestream because i once again have shit to do tmrw)

🩸NOT SORRY FOR LOVING YOU🩸

lol so remember how in my wisdom saga post i said there were over 100k ppl in the livestream by the time the wisdom saga started and i thought that was a record? yea theres 167k ppl in the stream rn

already i am in love with the color pallette

love the steel pan also its a very nice touch

lowkey the percussion kinda sounds like the percussion in monster but idk if that means anything

i can already tell this is going in my audition binder

GIGI ANIMATIC HELL YEA

ok shes a horrible person but i kinda feel bad for her tbh (and you can tell ody does at least a little)

10/10

🩸DANGEROUS🩸

FULL SPEED AHEAD JUMPSCARE JESUS

HERMEEEEESSSSSSSS

this animation is EATING holy shit

troy never ceases to amaze me with his vocals omg

ODY IS BACK BABEY

bro is fighting for his life and hermes is just groovin

bringing back the wind bag is just *chefs kiss*

also confirmation that it was rigged is nice

11/10

🩸CHARYBDIS🩸

well he uh. certainly needs luck for THAT

ALL OF THESE ANIMATICS ARE FUCKING EATING HOLY SHIT

not much to say but holy SHIT HES BACK BABEYYYYYY

god fucking dammit poseidon

9/10

🩸GET IN THE WATER🩸

THE ORGAN????? HELLO???????

ALSO WELCOME BACK STEVEN ONE HELL OF A FUCKIN ENTRANCE

this song was already great in the snippet but its EVEN FUCKING BETTER MY FUCKING GOD

oh i. forgot he threatened to do that to telemachus

god odys part is so. idk. soft? either way i love it

SHATTER THE MOTHERFUCKING OCEAN

welp hes certainly afraid of the water now

NOT AGAIN GODDAMMIT

15/10

🩸SIX HUNDRED STRIKE🩸

WIND BAG COMING IN CLUTCH AGAIN

3D???????

BRO IS LITERALLY USING IT AS A JETPACK

"I WILL GET BACK TO MY WIIIIIIIIIFFEEEE"

THE FUCKING ANIME BATTLE

BRO IS CASUALLY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF A GOD

poseidon what the fuck do you mean

AND NOW HES JUST THREATENING A GOD????? BRO IS FUCKING FERAL

OH GOD THE DIFFERENT BEAST HORN

OH SHIT WHAT IS HE DOING

I MEAN I CANT RLY BLAME HIM BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

"HOW WILL YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT" "NEXT TO MY WIFE" FUCK YEA GO GET YOUR GIRL

175K FUCKING PEOPLE

45013534058/10

in conclusion AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Congrats on 300 folower 🎉🎉🎉 can I request caramel lily it's totally ok if you can't lol btw love the way you write

Thanks so much for the req! This is SO much plot with a bit of porn, I'm not sure what got into me here! Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Sanji x Afab!Reader

WC: 2100 LOL

Prompt: “I’d eat 10 devil fruits if it meant I could see you naked.” 

— — 

It was Robin’s birthday, so you and the rest of the Straw Hats were enjoying an evening of drinking and celebrating. Empty bottles littered the dining room table and your captain was asleep and snoring on the deck, distended belly evident of his overindulgence. A few of your crew mates had returned to their quarters, the hour having grown late. You sat at the wooden table with Nami, Zoro, Franky and Robin playing cards while Sanji finished up dishes at the sink. You were all a bit tipsy, some more than others *cough* Zoro *cough* but it was clear the party was winding down. 

“I’m not tired yet. What if we made this game more interesting?” Robin made a suggestion and set her hand of cards down on the table. 

“*yawn* like a drinking game? I’m in.” Zoro takes another swig from his bottle of sake. 

“How about we put real money on the table? I know I’d kick your asses if there was actually something at stake.” Nami suggests. 

“I was actually thinking we could play strip poker.” Robin smirks as she makes the lewd proposal. 

*WOOOSH* 

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Sanji was somehow squeezed in between Nami and Robin on the dining room bench when he was all the way across the room at the sink not a second ago. 

“What an incredible idea, Robin! And it is your birthday after all, so we should all do whatever Robin suggests!” Sanji hurriedly spits out with hearts in his eyes, seemingly out of breath from rushing over. 

“Absolutely not. If you think for a second that I’m going to-“ Nami protests. 

“Sure, I’m in.” Zoro interrupts her. 

“Yeah I’m down I guess.” You chime in, wanting to keep the party going. You had known these people for years now, they were your best friends. Everyone has a body, who cares if they see you naked? What’s the worst that could happen. 

“Aww come on, bros! That’s like super unfair! I’ll obviously lose first! This game is rigged!” Franky exclaims while gesturing to his lack of clothing. 

“Rigged against who? Perverts?” Zoro cocks his head and smirks. 

“Whatever, I’m out. I have maintenance to do on the engine anyway.” Franky excuses himself and heads down into the belly of the ship to finish his tasks. 

“Come on, Nami. We can still put real money on it. Well… most of us could, anyway…” Robin smirks as she looks at Zoro hunched over his drink at the other end of the table. “Hey! I have… some.. cash.. somewhere…” Zoro looks in his pockets and inside his sash trying to find some semblance of money. 

Nami sighed. She pulls a small stack of berries out of her pocket and puts it on the table in front of Zoro. 

“I’ll add this to your tab. I’m going to bed, goodnight guys.” She turns back to Zoro. “Don’t lose it all at once, idiot.” 

After Nami exits, the four of you that remained settled your first bets and started the first round of cards. 

Much to Sanji’s dismay, he lost the first three hands and has already removed his tie, sport coat and belt while the two beautiful women before him were still fully clothed. Zoro lost the next few, casually shedding his shirt and boots. Eventually, after many more hands of cards and many more bottles of booze, the four of you are all minimally clothed. Robin was winning, still in her bra and skirt. You were sat in your bra and panties, happy that you chose a nicer looking pair to wear today. The boys were both left in their pants. 

“Alright, guesshh I’m out…” a very drunk Zoro sighs out as he puts his losing hand down on the table. Wordlessly he stands up and pulls his pants down to his ankles. 

“OH MY GOD MY EYES-“ Sanji throws his head down on the table to shield himself from the now fully nude swordsman. “ROBIN? Y/N? AM I BLIND?” Sanji continues to scream towards the floor.

“WHY don’t you wear underwear! That’s gross! I do our laundry!” You exclaim with wide eyes. 

“Hmm.” Robin hums. “Carpet does match the drapes.” She raises an eyebrow.

“Screw you guyshhh… I.. I’m going to… to lie downshh…” Zoro stumbles fully naked out of the dining room. 

“I’m going to make sure he makes it back to his room…” Robin stands up and dresses herself. Hands sprout from the floor and gather Zoro’s shed clothing and neatly folds it into a pile. Robin grabs the pile and heads towards the door. “… and make sure he doesn’t permanently traumatize Chopper in the process.” 

The door slammed closed and you and Sanji were left alone at opposite sides of the table. 

Sanji cleared his throat. 

“Shall we play on, angel?” 

You roll your eyes. You were up tons of berries, there was no reason for you to keep playing, but something urged you to keep going. 

“Bring it on, Mr. Cook.” You give him a wink and you could swear your saw a drop of blood spill from his nose. 

Perhaps distracted by your tipsy flirting, Sanji loses the next hand and stands up from the table to remove his slacks. He returns to his seat quickly but not quick enough for the large bulge in his briefs to go unnoticed. You smirk. You spot his hands trembling as Sanji pushes his money into the center of the table for the next hand. 

“Wow, Sanji, that’s the last of your berries! What if you lose? How are you going to afford cigarettes this week? It’s worth that much to you?” You laugh and take a sip of your drink. 

“It’s not the money, angel.” Sanji looks across the table at you with sparkling eyes. “I’d pay any cost. I’d eat 10 devil fruits if it meant I could see you naked.” You couldn’t help but smile at his desperation. 

“Well…” You say teasingly. “Let’s play then.” 

Your confidence betrays you. You lose the hand. 

“Shit!” You throw your losing hand on the table. You rub your eyes with your hand, realizing that you have very little left to remove. The air in the room is different from before. Earlier it had been four crew mates laughing and goofing around, now the air was heavy with tension. It was just you and Sanji, sitting across from each other in your underwear. He was handsome and you found yourself admiring his lithe, slim body. You couldn’t help yourself from becoming aroused. 

“Well, fair is fair.” You push the money back towards Sanji and move your hand behind your back to unhook your bra. Your other arm held the cups of your bra in place over your chest as you undid the clasp. You look across the table at Sanji and his mouth was hanging open in anticipation. You aren’t sure why, but you decide to tease him a bit. You use your arm holding your breasts to push them up and together before you let them fall out of your bra, bouncing dramatically. 

“Merde, y/n…” Sanji couldn’t pry his gaze from your bare tits. 

“We still have one more round to play, don’t we?” You pick up a new hand of cards and hold it with both hands. Doing this, you push your naked breasts together with your elbows, teasing the poor cook further. 

“I… Y-yes…” Sanji grabs another hand while shaking himself out of his stupor. 

You had four of a kind, there was no way you could lose. You were going to make off with all the money and Sanji’s dignity. 

“Royal Flush.” 

“What?!” You balk at the cards Sanji had laid on the table. It was his turn to lean back in his seat and smirk. You were speechless. You stared blankly at the table for a few moments before you slide out from your seat on the bench. Sanji watched you intently. 

You turn around so that your back is towards him. You hook both of your thumbs into the sides of your light pink panties. You bent forward at the hip, poking your ass closer to Sanji’s face. You slowly, dramatically peel your panties down your bottom, revealing your supple skin inch by inch. Sanji groans as your glistening cunt is revealed to him. You straighten your back and step out of your panties. You turn around. 

“Well, Sanji. Looks like you won. I guess you could take the money…” You slink towards him and swiftly hop onto his lap, straddling his trapped erection. You place both your hands on the side of his face to make him look up at you. You gently grind your bare pussy onto his throbbing crotch. 

“Or you could have me…” You purr at him, lips almost touching. 

Sanji takes no time to weigh his options before slamming his mouth onto yours. His hands fly into your hair, trying to force your lips impossibly closer to his. His tongue forces its needy way into your mouth. You kiss wildly for several minutes before you snake your hand down Sanji’s slender torso and lift your pelvis up so you can free his aching cock from its confines in his silk briefs. You give his member a few slow strokes before Sanji whimpers into your mouth desperately. 

“Mmm… Y/n.. please…” Sanji mutters. 

You pull away and kiss down his neck. 

“Please what, Mr. Cook? I can’t quite understand…” You seductively whisper out. You lick and suck his collarbone as you continue to pump his cock. 

“Need you…” Sanji is panting like he ran a marathon, he can’t handle your teasing anymore.

“Need me what, Sanji? Come on… tell me what you need…” You bring your hand that isn’t wrapped around his member up to his chest to tweak and squeeze at his nipple. Sanji lets out a high pitched moan. 

“Need to be inside you, please angel, let me feel you…” Sanji grips your hips suddenly and firmly. He could barely form a coherent sentence. You giggled. 

“Hm…. Fair is fair…” You smiled as you lifted your pelvis and aligned Sanji’s cock up with your hole before slowly sinking down him. The stretch overwhelmed you at first as you moved your hands up to grip at his shoulders tightly. 

“Shit, angel… so tight and wet…” Sanji buries his face in your breasts as you adjust your body to his length. 

“Fuck…” You moan softly as you begin to bounce softly on Sanji’s cock. He was thicker than expected, and the anticipation had your body alight with sensation. 

“Does it feel nice, my love? Is my cock good for you? Please tell me…” Sanji breaths out as you use him for your pleasure, trying to contain his own release. 

“Mmmh…” You let out a moan as you switch from bouncing to grinding yourself onto the blonde’s slim hips. “You feel so good inside me, baby… you’re doing so good for me…” You rub your clit into the base of his shaft as Sanji hits that sweet spot inside of you. You bring your gaze to look into his eyes. Those gorgeous ice-blue eyes stared up at you with what could only be described as adoration and amazement. You saw tears well in his glazed eyes, he was clearly so lost inside the pleasure that was your warm cunt. 

“So good…” You continued to praise him. “Gonna cum…” You throw your head back and grip Sanji’s shoulders tighter. 

“Please cum on me, angel, want to feel your pussy when you cum, please…” You hear Sanji’s muttering but you were too focused on reaching your peak. 

You shriek out a loud moan as your orgasm rolls through your body. You fall forward into Sanji’s neck and stop your movements as the spasms slow down. Sanji picks up the slack and pumps his hips upwards into yours, finally able to let go. 

“Fuck, love, I’m cumming!” Sanji slams your hips down onto his and works his load deep into your cunt with a loud groan. 

After you both catch your breath from the intense love-making session you had just experienced in the dining room, you slide yourself off of Sanji’s cock and sit onto the seat next to him. You put your head on his shoulder, feeling exhausted. 

Sanji reached for his pack of cigarettes, desperately needing one after his climax. He finds the pack empty. He looks at all the money that is now rightfully yours on the table. 

“So…. I might need to borrow a little cash this week…”