#my brain said we need some new shit to deal with this midterm stress

[dog-violet]

man i get stress dreams fairly often but being in a car accident and then immediately being kidnapped by the mafia is a new one

[ghostgothgeek]

Chaos.

Another for the Phic Phight! This one kinda combines two prompts and I had so much fun writing it! In this, Danny and Tucker don’t know Sam plays video games yet. 5,063 words.

"What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We´ve had a mutual crush on each other for years." Sam says angrily after finally confessing her love to him. But Danny´s heart was beating hard for someone else entirely. Prompt by phantomfana. 

Danny wants to ask his crush to the upcoming school dance. Prompt by Rikaleeta.

-----

It was another long night of ghost hunting for Danny. Technus took up the first part of the night, trying to take over the park’s new security system. Tucker was fortunately still awake to help him out with that. Then Johnny and Kitty rolled in, but they weren’t looking for trouble, they just wanted a date night and swore they wouldn’t be a problem. Apparently Fridays were their days off for “everything but each other”. Danny was a romantic, but he didn’t know if this was sweet or nauseating. Ember had put up a good fight, though. He was proud he only had one injury to tend to. He had dodged most of her attacks, but she was still a pretty advanced ghost. And, of course, Danny had caught the Box Ghost six, count them, SIX times. How did he always manage to get out?! He wasn’t difficult to take down, he was just a pest. 

Danny sighed as he sat down at his computer chair. It was only 12:30 am, and it was a Friday. He could sleep in tomorrow and he deserved at least a couple hours of fun. He logged into his online gaming account and saw Tucker was online. Figures. He pulled up the chat anyway. 

Astrohaunt: Hey Tuck. Still up?

Technopedia: You know it. Chaos signed on about a half hour ago and I’m not passing up the opportunity.

Astrohaunt: Dude is so good it’s unreal!

Technopedia: He goes to our school, I tracked one of his IP addresses and he logged in at school a few times.

Astrohaunt: Tucker wtf. That’s creepy!

Technopedia: I just want to make sure Chaos is actually a kid and not Lancer again!

Astrohaunt: I still can’t wrap my mind around Lancer playing Doomed…

Technopedia: Same. But Chaos IP is different from Lancer, so we good. Unless more teachers play Doomed.

Astrohaunt: I hate you for putting that image into my brain.

Technopedia: Sorry dude. But quick come join before someone else gets Chaos.

Danny, Tucker, and Chaos had made a great team. Whenever Chaos was around, they were actually able to progress through the game. They played several rounds until Tucker was caught by his mom and was forced to sign off, but Danny and Chaos kept playing. 

TeamChaos: Hey, what’s up?

Astrohaunt: Omg dude you’re so awesome. 

TeamChaos: Ha, thanks. Gotta blow off steam somehow. 

Astrohaunt: Tell me about it! Between Lancer’s three projects and midterms and...other stuff...this is my only time to actually chill. I’ve been so stressed!

TeamChaos: Same. I did finish one of the projects though. I’m always here if you need to talk, you know. 

Astrohaunt: Wow, I may just take you up on that offer. I’ve had a rough night.

TeamChaos: Lay it on me.

And so Danny, sparing the ghost hunting details, stayed up chatting with Chaos until 5 am. He got along really well with the guy, they had a lot of similar interests. This was just the first of many up-all-night conversations they shared. After a few months, Danny felt a special connection with Chaos, and yet, he didn’t even know his name! 

Astrohaunt: We’ve been talking all these months and I still don’t know your name. I’m Danny. 

TeamChaos: Oh, thought you knew. It’s Sam!

Astrohaunt: Hey! One of my best friends is named Sam! 

TeamChaos: You don’t say!!!

The next day at school, Danny pulled Tucker over to him, whispering, “Dude, help. I think I might be gay....” 

“What?!” Tucker shouted.

“Quiet, Tuck!” 

“Okay, well uh...why?” Tucker sent him a weird look and took a step back. 

“No, not you. Chaos. I think I have a crush on Chaos.” Danny ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do! I never thought I’d be...you know. Chaos and I just have good conversations and he’s always there to listen to me when I need to vent. I thought maybe I found another best friend but...this is different. Chaos is so cool and I’m crushing and I don’t even know who he is or what he looks like! Or if he feels the same way! Maybe I’m just stupid and-”

“Dude, chill. You’re jumping too far ahead of yourself. Whichever way you, you know, swing...I’m still your best friend.” Tucker pulled out his PDA. “Let me see what I can find out. I know Chaos goes to our school.”

“Thanks, Tuck. As if being half ghost wasn’t hard enough! Oh, and he’s in our class, because he’s talked me through assignments and knows what they are and stuff. He’s almost as good as explaining things as Sam. Crap...Sam. Don’t tell her about this!” Danny started fidgeting. 

“Well,” Tucker raised his eyebrows in surprise, “I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chaos is definitely a girl.” 

“You found out who Chaos is?!” 

“What, like it’s hard?” Tucker chuckled. “I traced the IP addresses she uses. I know who she is. So do you,” Tucker smirked, “It shocked me at first, but it makes total sense! And I can totally see why you like her.” 

“Really?” Danny let out a breath in relief. “Okay that makes me feel a lot better...hey, maybe I can ask Chaos to the dance next Saturday!” 

Tucker rested a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Go for it. Ask Sam. I’m almost positive she’ll say yes.”

“Okay, I will...wait, not Sam! Chaos!” Danny clarified. “Well, actually, I think Chaos told me her name was Sam. Ha, small world. I can’t wait to introduce Sam to Sam. I think they would really get along.” 

Tucker busted out laughing, “Oh, dude. You go ahead and do that.” He left Danny standing there in the hallway, still laughing all the way to his next class.

Danny, a bit confused by Tucker’s laughter, shook his head and smiled to himself. Okay, good. He’d had enough identity crises to fill a lifetime. Chaos was definitely a girl. Now if he just knew Chaos returned his feelings, things might actually work out for him this time and he could actually have a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Sam was having an internal debate of her own. Sitting in a class where the teacher couldn’t give two shits about what the students were doing, she had always used this class as her thinking time. Usually her thinking-about-Danny time. She nervously clicked her pen as she thought about recent events. 

She and Danny spent so much time chatting online when they weren’t hanging out in person. Danny was a little bit more bold online, probably because he didn’t have to interact face-to-face or risk his pants falling down in public again. Online, they talked about everything. No topic was off limits. Plus, Sam felt like their friendship had only grown even stronger when they could chat online and not have to worry about blushing or getting teased by Tucker. Chatting online took away all the pressure and made it much easier to connect with Danny. 

Danny hadn’t said anything yet, of course. He was probably scared. Hell, she was scared. She was already so in love with him, and getting closer online only further solidified that fact. She had never been in love before, and even though she hunts ghosts, this was more terrifying! She was fairly certain he returned her feelings, but both were too chicken to actually make that final step. They’ve been best friends forever. She didn’t want to mess up their already great dynamic or force Tucker to be the third wheel, though he did insist he was more than okay with that and encouraged them to finally get together. 

Sam stopped clicking her pen as she suddenly remembered it was senior year. They hadn’t picked colleges yet, but whether they ended up going to the same school or not, things were going to change. Danny was very attractive, and going off to college meant girls may actually approach him when they didn’t know his parents were ghost fighters. The fact had never bothered Sam, but she did kind of like how it kept most girls at school from asking him out or giving him attention. Valerie had been a challenge, especially because she was a ghost hunter herself and probably wanted to get tips from his parents. Sam was glad that relationship ended relatively early. It was too hard on her. Joyous or not, though, she was still mad at Valerie for how she broke his heart. 

But that was 2 years ago. They had all moved on and friendships were more or less mended across the board. This made Sam glance at her favorite picture of her and Danny. Tucker had taken the candid picture and it was now her phone’s background. In it, Danny was giving Sam a piggyback ride. Her arms were lightly strung around his neck, legs looped around his waist. Danny had kept going in the opposite direction Sam told him to go, which frustrated her but also made her laugh. She had rested her chin on his shoulder, her face pressed right up against his. Danny was looking at her and Tucker had captured that rare moment when Sam had a huge grin on her face, still laughing. She smiled at the picture. They would be okay no matter what. Their friendship would survive.

Anyway, Sam also realized she had already come close to losing Danny, in more ways than one. Whether it was to other girls or a ghost, there was always that anxiety stirring in her head that she could lose him entirely some day. Life was too short. She needed to take the plunge for both of them and just get them both over this hurdle, and they could finally, finally, actually get together. 

Sam made her decision. It was now or never. She was going to tell him. Today. The trio was meeting up at Danny’s house later anyway, and if she got there early enough, she could talk to him before Tucker showed up and teased them about it. Sam firmly nodded her head to herself, a confirmation of her decision. It was finally time.

After school, Danny was pacing in his room, trying to figure out how he wanted to do this. Asking a girl to the dance wasn’t a huge deal, and yet at the same time, it was. He would rather ask in person, but he still didn’t know what Chaos looked like, so asking in person seemed to be off the table. He could look in the yearbook for all the girls named Sam at their school. He could already omit one Sam Manson from that list. How many Sams could possibly attend their school? It would be easier to ask Tucker, though. Tucker already knew who she was. Sam and Tucker were on their way over right now. When Sam wasn’t paying attention, he could ask Tucker for Sam’s full name. 

Chaos Sam, not best friend Sam. God, this was so confusing. Why were girls so hard for him? Freshman year, Paulina only liked his ghost half and wouldn’t give his human half the time of day. Sophomore year, Valerie hated his ghost half and that hatred was more important to her than her feelings for his human half. Junior year, he had been denying that he was in love with his best friend. And now that he had finally accepted that he did like his best friend as much more than a friend, a new girl entered the picture and he now found himself trying to choose between two Sams. Because it apparently wasn’t hard enough for him already to make the biggest and most important change he could possibly make in a friendship, let’s add another crush to the mix and give them the same name.

Sam. Best friend Sam - that’s who he was planning on asking originally, even if he chickened out and had to ask her as a friend instead. Plus, he and Sam had somehow gotten closer recently, and he was pretty sure she liked him. Sure, it was only because Tucker told him so, but it was a possibility. The thing was, he didn’t want to ruin things. Especially because he truly didn’t know how Sam, best friend Sam, felt about him. She was a tough and courageous girl, surely she would have said something by now if it were true. So Tucker must be pulling his leg.

But he did have another option - Chaos Sam, who may actually return his feelings. Sure, the feelings weren’t nearly as strong as what he felt for his best friend, but the feelings were still there. Plus, if he got rejected by Chaos, it would be less heartbreaking than being rejected by Sam, someone he had known for years rather than months. He could deal with losing a newer friend, but not one of his best friends. Sam was too important and he knew he needed her in his life.

Danny sighed. This was really hard, but he made a decision. It was easier to go with Chaos than risk ruining things with Sam. Danny had enough drama going on in his life already, he needed an easy win. 

He broke from his thoughts when the doorbell rang. He ran downstairs and opened it, only slightly surprised to see Sam there. She was usually early for things. He and Tuck were more prone to being late. 

“Hey, Sam. Come on in!” Danny moved so Sam could enter his house. He shut the door and followed her upstairs and back to his room as she returned his greeting. She was pacing the same path he just had, muttering quietly to herself. She looked nervous. “Something on your mind?” 

Sam was startled out of her thoughts. “Huh? Oh yeah.” She noticed his disheveled appearance, also noting he was fidgety. Was he going to do what she was about to do? “What about you, you look like you’ve been thinking a little too hard about something.” She smiled softly. 

Danny chuckled, “Yeah, but it’ll resolve itself soon. I’ll worry about it after the movies. Tuck should be here any second. Oh, but I’m glad you’re early. Can you help me with something quick?” 

“Of course.” Sam followed him to his desk, smiling and rolling her eyes when he pointed to a homework problem. “I should have known.” 

Danny gave her a lopsided smile and watched as she showed him how to do the problem in her perfect handwriting. It took no more than a couple of minutes. Now, they were just waiting for Tucker to arrive. 

Sam looked at the time. He would be here soon. She needed to do this now. She needed to tell Danny. She couldn’t wait until after the movies for him to tell her. She had already waited long enough and couldn’t bear another second.

“Danny, can I talk to you for a second?” She sat down on his bed and gestured for him to do the same. 

Danny could sense the seriousness in her voice, and nodded anxiously. He was scared when Sam was serious about things. It was usually something bad.

“Danny…” She decided to get straight to the point. “I like you. As in like-like you. More than like, and more than a friend. And we’ve been doing this dancing around for at least 4 years now and I’m sick of it. I just want to be with you already. What do you say?” Sam held her breath as she waited for Danny to answer. 

He stared at her with wide eyes before nervously rubbing the back of his neck and turning his attention to his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the goth. God, why him?! He had stupidly thought, for once, things would be easier for him this time. He had already sent an offline message to Chaos that he wanted to ask her something, and then Sam had to come along and tell him what he had wanted to hear for some time now. But he couldn’t blow Chaos off when he had already somewhat asked. Of course, his life just had to be complicated every step of the way. He really liked both girls and didn’t want to hurt his best friend. Regardless, he had to be honest. He owed Sam that much. “Well, I mean, yeah, but…” 

“But what?” Sam whispered, clearly already upset. Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. He decided to try going with Chaos so he could avoid heartbreak from his best friend. The very thing he had been so afraid of, he was doing to her right now. 

Danny sighed again. “But I can’t. I’m so sorry, Sam.” It was hard to choke out, but he said it, and he felt terrible. He pressed his lips together and kept staring at his shoes until Sam lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at her. 

“What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We’ve had mutual crushes on each other for years!” Sam said angrily, feeling her heart break as her best friend and love of her life rejected her confession of love. She was so sure he returned her feelings! Especially after all the great conversations they had shared online these last few months. “Or, at least, I thought we did.” Tears swelled in her eyes. Did he lead her on? “I-I need an explanation, Danny,” she quietly stated after he didn’t continue. 

Danny frowned and his heart ached. He didn’t want to hurt his best friend like this. Hell, he really liked her! Of course their crushes were mutual! And if this had happened 6 months ago instead of now, he would have jumped at the chance. But now...now he had Chaos and already forced himself to stick with his decision. It was easy with Chaos; there was no friendship to risk, no denying of being lovebirds or brushing off kisses as fakeout makeouts. Plus, he couldn’t lie to his best friend. She would know if he was lying. And he already told himself she deserved the truth. “There’s...someone else…” 

“What?” Sam whispered before turning angry again, “Paulina? Valerie? Star?” she spat out. 

Danny shook his head, “Ew, no...it’s someone I met online...I’m so sorry, Sam. I like you a lot, I really do, but I think I’ve already come to the conclusion that I like this girl I met online, Chaos, and I have to try to see that through.” 

Many emotions crossed Sam’s face as she pieced together what he just said. At first she was upset, but as he explained himself, she felt disbelief, confusion, anger, and finally, hope. He couldn’t really be that clueless, right? “Show me.” 

“Huh? I mean, I don’t actually know what she looks like, but we message every night and she really understands me! I know it sounds ridiculous, but-” 

“Show me,” Sam repeated. “Show me her profile.” 

“You’re not going to hurt her, are you?” Danny questioned cautiously.

“No, of course not. Just shut up and show me the profile.” Sam was more calm now, and that was kind of scary. Even though Sam said she wouldn’t hurt Chaos, he didn’t want to give her the chance. But he knew how stubborn his friend was, and eventually in whatever way, she would force the information out of him. 

Danny sighed and pulled up the profile to show Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m still your best frien-” 

“Shut up.” Sam scrolled through what Danny pulled up for her and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Closing her eyes slowly, she took a deep breath. “Didn’t Chaos tell you her name?” 

“Uh,” Danny thought, “oh yeah! She said her name was Sam, because I thought she was a boy at first and I had an existential crisis, but then Tucker told me-” 

“Danny. I’m Sam.” 

“No I know, and sure it’ll be a little weird cause you’re Sam and she’s Sam, it’s confusing, but I-” 

Sam interrupted him once again. She could hear Tucker’s footsteps approaching. She was running out of time to not make this a spectacle. “No, Danny. Chaos. Sam. Me. I’m Sam. I am Sam,” 

Tucker only heard the tail end of the conversation as he entered the room. Never able to pass up a comedic opportunity, he smirked and added “I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham!” 

It was suddenly silent in the room as his friends seized conversation and glared at him. Oops. 

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Tucker could see the fire in Sam’s eyes. “Uh, oh wait I forgot my...sock. I’ll be downstairs!” He raced out of the room.

Sam turned her attention back to Danny. “No, you stupid fucking MORON. I am Chaos. You’ve been talking to me the whole time. I thought you knew that!” Danny stared at her blankly until she pulled out her phone and he watched her log into her account, proving it to him. Sure enough, it was Chaos’s profile. He could see all the direct messages between them, including his offline message about wanting to ask her something.

“Wait, you? You’re Sam? I mean, Chaos? I mean Sam?” Danny looked back and forth between the profile and his best friend. 

“UGH!” Sam shouted as she threw her hands in the air. “Yes, Danny. That’s me! Did you really not notice that Chaos was the same age as me and a girl who goes to our school? We have the same name and interests! Didn’t you wonder why it was so easy to talk right off the bat? I thought you put that all together and us just pretending to not know each other was a little bit you were trying to do or something!” 

Danny stared at her as he continued to piece it all together. He was definitely embarrassed. He felt so stupid. How could he not tell that Chaos was Sam, his best friend since 7th grade? Talk about being totally clueless. 

Wait. Clueless? Well, fuck! He got the nickname now! 

His eyes flickered back and forth as he thought everything through. Eventually, he started to crack a smile. “Wait, so I’ve had a crush on you and also you? You’re the same person! This is great! Do you know what this means?!” 

Sam slapped her forehead and began walking downstairs. “I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore…” 

“Wait, how come Tuck and I never knew you played video games! We can enter team tournaments! You’re so good!” Danny chased after her. 

Tucker watched as Sam grumbled about Danny caring more about video games than her. An excited Danny was right on her tail. 

“Tucker! Sam is Chaos! I’ve been in love with Sam this whole time!” Danny explained. 

“Tucker, I need you to refrain me from slapping his stupid clueless face,” Sam started. 

“Wait, you didn’t know Sam was Chaos? Dude! I thought I was obvious about that!” Tucker began laughing at Danny. 

“I know, so did I.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Danny, you can calculate levels of rocket fuel and figure out how to get us to Mercury or something,” Tucker started. 

“Mars, actually,” Danny corrected. 

“But you can’t figure out that your best friend and your crush are the same person? You’re more than Captain Clueless, you’re like….Lieutenant Clueless? That’s like, bigger right?” Tucker continued. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Tuck,” Sam chimed in. 

“Shut up Sam, this isn’t about you,” Tucker immediately stopped his train of thought when he felt Sam glaring daggers at him. “Heh, uh. Except it does. It actually has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry I told you to shut up, please don’t hurt me!” He threw his hands up in front of himself in defense. 

“Relax, Tucker. I’m more angry with this fucking dingus,” she pointed her thumb in Danny’s direction. 

The halfa was about to protest, then closed his mouth. “That’s fair, I deserve that.” 

“I can’t even look at you right now. You scared me! I poured out my emotions to you. I thought you were rejecting me and that I would have to change my name and move to a different country! Wait, are you still rejecting me?” Sam stopped her pacing to look at him. 

“Of course not, Sammy!” 

“Oh don’t you ‘Sammy’ me! I told you I love you, you stupid fucking idiot!” Sam began throwing pillows at Danny, who expertly dodged them (though as a result, Tucker got hit in the face by one). 

“Technically, you didn’t say ‘love’ you said ‘like’”, Danny offered as Tucker shook his head and slashed finger across his neck, signaling Danny to stop talking. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m going to go jump off a cliff now!” Sam growled and Danny let out a small “oomph” as one of the pillows finally got him. 

“I’m out. Good luck, bro!” Tucker quickly slipped out the door, leaving Danny and Sam alone. 

Sam was about to follow Tucker out when Danny stopped her, “please don’t leave!” She still had angry tears in her eyes. He frowned. This was not how he expected things to go. She watched him for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, refusing to look at him. “Sam I’m so sorry, this is just a huge misunderstanding.”

“No, Danny. It’s not. You were going to turn me down to go out with someone else.”

“But that someone was still you!”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! We’ve been friends for years, and you were more interested in someone you just met a few months ago! I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, Danny! I’ve been standing by for years as you continuously chose other girls over me. I thought we were done with that, and that you were finally choosing me first, but you won’t and you never will and I’m so stupid.” Sam put her head in her hands as she tried her hardest not to let tears fall. 

And that was when he finally figured it out. It wasn’t just the moment of rejection, it was years of rejection, and at her biggest confession, she still thought he was choosing someone over her. Not to mention, Tucker witnessed most of the conversation. Sam rarely showed her emotions. She always had her heart guarded, and he knew this. Tucker knew this. Hell, she didn’t even tell them she was rich until after a few years of friendship. It took them a while to get her to open up to them. She was a pretty private person. She was probably already hurt like this before. And now, she was probably embarrassed.

“You’re definitely not stupid. I’m stupid. I should have known it was you. That was actually what I really liked about Chaos, she reminded me of you.” 

Sam forced a small sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, right.” 

“No really,” Danny sat on the couch next to her and grabbed her hand, placing it in both of his. “Sam, you’re absolutely incredible. How dumb would I have to be to not notice?” Sam gave him a pointed look. “Okay yeah but it’s not the way you think it is. I liked Chaos because she was a lot like you. She reminded me of you. And it just seemed easier to go with her because she was basically you, but she and I didn’t have a really great friendship that could have gotten ruined if we broke up or something. I could live without her, but I can’t live without you. You’re always my number one. Always have been, always will be. Even if I did just fuck everything up. I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m ready to be with you, if you’ll still have me.” 

Sam stayed silent and stared at her lap, processing this new information. Of course she would forgive him; she always did. She just needed a little time. 

Danny was getting nervous that he really did fuck this up for good. This was so fucking important! He couldn’t risk fucking this up! Sensing her hesitation, Danny tried one more thing to get her back. One thing he hasn’t done before. One thing he just learned how to perfect.  

“Sammy, I’m sorry,” a duplicate popped up next to her on the other side of the couch, startling her. 

“Please forgive me?” Another duplicate was floating in front of her, hanging upside down, hair flopping all over the place. 

“I know I’m a dummy but,” Sam snapped her head towards a third duplicate. 

“I’m only a dummy because I’m in love. With you,” the real Danny finished. Sam looked back and forth between all the Dannys.  

“We’re sorry, Sammy,” all the duplicates said at once. 

Sam was trying really hard to hold back a smile. “You learned how to duplicate,” she stated simply. 

Original Danny grabbed her hands. “Sam. I will make this up to you. I promise.” 

She could hear the determination in his voice and sighed. “You better.” 

Danny smiled and hugged her. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I love you so much!”

Sam pushed him off of her. “I love you too, you fucking idiot.” 

“But I get to be your idiot!” Sam couldn’t hold her laughter back anymore. “Oh!” Danny shouted, “Will you go to the dance with me? Please?” 

Sam pretended to ponder the answer before saying “alright”. 

“Yay!” All 4 Dannys cheered. The duplicates on either side of her kissed her cheeks as the real Danny kissed her forehead tenderly. The final duplicate, feeling left out, squeezed his way in to give her a hug. 

Sam was now roaring with laughter before kissing the real Danny sweetly. “You know, duplicates won’t always get you out of trouble,” she warned. 

“Yeah, but they could come in handy for other things,” he wagged his eyebrows up and down suggestively before passionately kissing her, the duplicates kissing her neck and touching her in near-dangerous places. 

Sam bit back a moan, eyes lustful before smirking, “I think you just found a way to make it up to me.” She began dragging the real Danny and one of his duplicates back to his room. Fuck the movies.

[yikesharringrove]

i’m sorry that you’re having a rough time. if you need to talk my ask is always open! 💜 something I haven’t really seen in the harringrove fandom is a bookstore aus. do you have any head cannons for that? or maybe you could write something? i can see billy being a pretentious, flirty sometimes grumpy bookstore owner who is simultaneously annoyed and charmed by clueless steve who is obvi not a reader, but keeps coming in. Billy’s clueless why the pretty keeps coming in. robin is not clueless!

(ao3)

“Fuck.”

Billy shook out his hand, just dropped a large box of books on his fingers.

“Dumbass.” Robin was perched at the counter, leafing lazily through some indie zine her friends made.

“You know you could, like, help.” Billy shot her a glare as she rolled her eyes, leaving him and his smushed little hand to shelve the new stock.

“No point in that, Boss.” Billy just kept sorting maneuvering himself through the narrow shelves to sort the new arrivals.

His bookshop had been open for about a month, and was doing well. He had a little cafe in the back corner, run by Heather and her baked goods. There was a second level to the shop he filled with squashy armchairs, and little tables. It had become a fairly popular spot with the kids from the local university as they studied, or avoided their studies with the books he had on the first level.

He had new and used books, had a trade-in program with book donations. It was warm in the little shop, sweet and cozy.

The bell above the door chimed.

“Hi, I was looking for Groundwork of the Metaphysic of Morals by Immanuel Kant.”

“You can find Billy, he’s in the stacks over there, and he should be able to help you better than I can.” Billy rolled his eyes, could hear the smile in her voice. He kept shelving, could hear the light footsteps approaching.

“Um, excuse me, I was told you can help?” Billy looked up, his breath hitching when he saw the guy. He was tall and lanky, slouching like he wanted to be small. He had all this messy brown hair, these big dark eyes behind his glasses.

“Kant, right?”

“Yep!”

“This is a good one. Have you read the Critique of Pure Reason? That book was pretty big for me, his thoughts on causation in relationship to time and experience were so new to me first time I read it.”

“Oh, it’s uh, it’s actually for a class. I’m not any good at this philosophy stuff.” Billy just smiled weekly. This guy was almost fucking perfect. He wandered over a few stacks to search.

“You at the university?”

“Yeah, I’m a senior. Just finishing up my generals and everything so I can graduate. I’m studying to be a teacher. Sorry, you probably don’t give a shit.” He had red splotches high on his cheeks.

“No, I always love talkin’ with new folks.” He smiled gently at the guy, reaching up for the book. “Immanuel Kant. Robin up front’ll take care ‘a you.” The guy fidgeted for a second, taking the book slowly.

“Thank you, I’m Steve, by the way.”

“Billy.” Steve waved at him, awkwardly and adorably.

-

Steve began coming in just about every other day.

He would say an awkward hello to Billy, would be all fidgety and weird, and retreat to the comfy second floor with a large iced latte, face red, mumbling to himself.

“He has a crush on you.” Robin was poking him over the counter. Steve had just high-tailed it up to work on his schoolwork after asking Billy how he was and looking so fond when Billy just said not so bad.

“Shut up, Rob.”

“He does. He’s in here almost every day, and gets so fucking nervous when talking to you. He wants to date you and kiss you.” She sang it at him, wiggling around a bit.

“Jesus Christ, Robin, he doesn’t. He’s a paying customer.”

“A paying customer that gets all cute and blushy when you two talk, and who never says more than three words to me.” Billy rolled his eyes, retreating to the back office.

She followed him, stomping loudly.

“At least admit you think he’s cute.”

“He’s fuckin’ adorable, but he said he’s not a big reader, and when I started talkin’ about Kant philosophies, his eyes got all big like that shit went way over his head. I don’t think we’d work out.”

“Just because someone doesn’t read and-slash-or comprehend eighteenth century philosophy, doesn’t make them not worthwhile.”

“It’s kind of a deal breaker for me, Rob.” She glared at him.

“You are so pretentious. He’s cute, and he seems sweet, what does it matter?”

“I just like intellectual types.”

“I fucking hate you.” She huffed, stomping back out into the shop.

-

“What in the hell?” Billy was up on the second floor, cleaning up the discarded coffee mugs and books left behind before closing. He heard muttering from the corner, looking to see Steve, tucked in a large armchair, frowning heavily at the book propped in his lap, something thick and heavy, probably for that philosophy class he’s been trudging through.

“You okay, Pretty Boy.” Steve slammed the book shut.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He began shoving his school work away, stuffing it roughly into his bag.

“Hey, whoa.” Billy plopped down across from him, taking one of Steve’s wrists in his own. “What’s wrong?” Steve whipped off his glasses, digging his thumbs into his eyes.

“It’s just been a long day, and my dyslexia gets so much worse when I’m tired, but this midterm is tomorrow and I need to study.”

“I didn’t know you were dyslexic.”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot my button that says I’m dyslexic, ask me how!” Billy sat back, one eyebrow raised. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired. And my brain hurts.”

“You know we have audiobooks. There’s a whole selection in the back downstairs.” Steve looked up at him.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah. We have tapes and CDs. Have a bunch of random stuff. You wanna take a look through it all?” Steve’s eyes were wide. He shoved his glasses back on, following Billy to the display.

They were sitting on the ground, going through the selection Billy had, Steve had found two of the books he needed for his philosophy class.

“Billy I’m heading out-” Robin stopped when she saw the two of them, sitting in a sea of tapes and CDs. “You do know we closed, like half an hour ago.”

“Holy shit. Seriously? Why didn’t you tell me to go! I would’ve gotten outta your hair.”

“Relax, Pretty Boy. I don’t mind stickin’ around. Don’t got much else goin’ on.” Robin was watching them with a smug look on her face, sitting in one hip.

“No I have to, I should go. I’ll, um, I’ll come back for these tomorrow.” He pressed the few he had selected into Billy’s hand, gripping his upper arm. “Thank you, Billy. It really means a lot to me.” He gave him a sweet smile, threw Robin a two-finger salute as he hefted his backpack, leaving the shop with a jingle.

Robin slapped Billy’s arm.

“He’s so hot for you, and you’re practically in love with him too, this is disgusting and gay.”

“Robin no homophobia in my store, please.” She laughed at him as they locked up, Billy cleaning up the mess of audiobooks.

-

“Hi, I brought you this.” Steve was wearing a soft sweater under a pair of overalls. He looked so soft and Billy wanted to cuddle him.

He was currently pushing a plastic container full of chocolate chip cookies over the counter.

“I wanted to say thank you for helping me last night, and I know there’s straight up a cafe that sells these in the back, and you could probably eat as many as you like because you own the whole place, but I thought it’d be nice and I bake when I’m stressed and ramble when I’m nervous, if you couldn’t already tell, but you’re really nice and I just wanted to do something nice for you, and I’m gonna shut the fuck up if you don’t mind.” He was bright red, his eyes darting around the shop, looking everywhere but at Billy.

“Thank you, Sweet Thing.” He took a cookie, taking a big bite out of it. “And I got your audiobooks on hold.” Steve giggled when Billy talked with his mouth full of cookie, rifling through his wallet to get cash for the CDs. “Your midterm was today, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I, you remembered.”

“You told me last night.” Steve shrugged.

“Sometimes people kinda tune me out.” Billy frowned, opened his mouth to say something in rebuttle but Steve plowed on. “I had the test today. I think it was okay, but it always goes either way with me. Sometimes I feel super good about it afterwards, but then I’ll straight up fail and sometimes it goes the other way, so I’m hoping ambivalence is key.”

“I think that sounds like a valid plan. Just keep your mind off it.”

“You read anything good lately.” Billy just gave him a look.

“Take in where we are, then get back to me.”

“I mean, you probably read a lot, but have you read anything good lately?”

“Define good.” Steve shrugged. One of the straps on his overalls fell off his shoulder. It was so cute.

“Like, engaging content.”

“That’s a pretty low bar.”

“Well, I know you probably read like, super smart stuff that goes way over my head. If we were talking about novels I would say, engaging plot, interesting rounded characters, all that shit, but you probably read, like, I don’t even fucking know.”

“I’m gonna let you in on my best kept secret.” He leaned into the counter a little. Steve’s eyes were bright as he leaned over the counter, shoving his nose right into Billy’s space. “I’m a sucker for classics.” Steve had this cute little half smile on his face.

“Like, Moby Dick?”

“Jesus, no. Nobody actually likes that book. I mean like, Pride & Prejudice and Emma and Wuthering Heights and Don Quixote.”

“I think I’ve heard of like, two of those.” He gasped a little, his eyebrows going up. “I have an idea! Would you recommend me audio books? Of all your favorites? I want to be able to like, talk about them with you.” His eyes were shining and bright, so excited to share these books with Billy, these books that mean the world to Billy.

“Sure thing, Pretty Boy. I’ll pick a new one out for you every week or so.” Steve hoped from foot to foot, wiggling and excited.

“I wanna do that! WE can have our own little bookclub. It’ll be so fun, we can like talk about your favorite books, and I’ll actually get it because I won’t have to be, like, translating the fucking wiggly words.” He was crackling with energy over this idea, it was making Billy excited.

And then Steve’s phone started going off in the chest pocket of the overalls. When he took it out Billy caught a glimpse of the name Nance.

“Sorry, this is my ex-girlfriend.” He smiled at Billy who’s heart dropped. “But I’ll be back tomorrow, if you wanna have a book ready for me!” He pushed the cookies closer to Billy with a Look, answering the phone as he awkwardly pushed open the door with his back, and a little hey, Nance!

“How was your boyfriend today?”

“Straight. He’s fucking straight.” Robin furrowed her brows.

“Sorry, there’s no way that boy is completely  straight.”

“He got a call from his ex-girlfriend. He’s fucking straight, and we’re gonna start a stupid bookclub thing because he wants to read my favorite books and he’s fucking straight.” Billy shoved the cookies away from him, taking up on of the heavy boxes of book donations, heaving it to be shelved.

Robin followed him to the stacks.

“Just because he had an ex-girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s straight, Billy. He could be bi, or pan, or fluid, or literally anything.” Billy just ignored he, kept shoving the new arrivals away. She sighed at his back. “Okay, asshole. Give him some queer book, like Orlando and see what he says about it.” Robin tromped away when Billy refused to answer.

-

Steve tripped on the door frame the next day.

He spilled out hard on the floor, smacking his chin and spilling paper. It was so fucking funny, but Billy stifled his laugh, and helped Steve up. His face was red, the flush spreading down his neck.

He took one look at Billy when he stood up, and walked right back out the door.

-

He gathered up the courage to come back in three days later.

“Watch yourself there, Pretty Boy.” Steve’s face went hot again.

“I’m so sorry about that. I was so fucking embarrassed, I had to go have a panic attack for like, six hours after that.” He gave a shaky little laugh. “I believe I was promised an audiobook?” Billy took it out from under the counter.

“Maurice, by E.M. Forster. It’s a gay classic about coming of age, and having to live in the closet, and being in love. It’s excellent.”

“Sounds like my fuckin’ life.” Billy stared as Steve just read the snippet on the back of the box.

“You gay?”

“Pan.” Steve said it easily, didn’t even look up from reading the box. Billy can hear Robin gloating in his head, saying that she’s right.

“Cool.” Steve gave him a weird look.

“You’re being weird.” Billy shrugged. Steve glanced at the large pride flag hanging in the window of the store, looking back at Billy with one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, I’m a big ol’ homo. I’m really not being weird. I just didn’t know.” Steve reached out to push his shoulder.

“I’m kidding, Bill! Quit bein’ so grumpy.” Billy couldn’t help but smile when Steve was looking at him like that, was giggling at him like that.

-

When Steve finished the audiobook, they talked about it over hot tea after closing.

That became their ritual, Steve would get a book recommendation, would finish it in about four days, he’d stay after closing an they’d talk. The next day, he’d get a new one.

They began talking about more than just the books.

Steve was an incredibly easy person to talk to. Something about his big eyes made Billy want to open, to share his past.

He told Steve about his dad, just the tip of the iceberg, just the basic he’s a homophobic asshole. But then Steve told him he’d been kicked out of his house at eighteen, so Billy told him his father was physically abusive, and before he fucking knew it, they were both tearing up and connecting.

“Who’re you texting?” Robin snatched his phone, dancing out of his reach as she scrolled through the texts between him and Steve. “Oh my God, are you sure you two aren’t dating.” He ripped his phone out of her hands.

“Shut up, Robin.” He stormed to the back office, his refuge whenever Robin started bugging him.

“No. You two have been doing this dance for months. You two have your own special bookclub. You need to ask him out.”

“I just don’t wanna assume anything and fuck up this friendship. I don’t have very many friends, and i don’t wanna lose him. Just because he’s into guys doesn’t mean he’s into me.”

“Billy you’re hot. And me, a whole lesbian, telling you that means it’s true. I’ve seen the way he is around you. Remember when he fucking fell and had to leave immediately? He’s so hot for you and nervous rambles all the time. If you asked him out he would say yes.”

But Billy never actually got a chance to ask him out.

The same night Robin was bugging him Steve came slamming roughly into the shop.

“You okay?” Steve was quiet, something Billy had never seen in him.

“Just a bad day.” He sipped at the tea Billy had placed in front of him.

“You wanna talk about it?” Billy said at the exact same moment Steve looked right at Billy as said.

“You wanna go on a date with me?”

“Sorry, what did-” Billy ears were ringing.

“No, I didn’t say anything.” Steve was looking everywhere but Billy.

“No you asked me out.” He took a breath.

“Look, I really like you. Like a whole lot. And today was shit and the whole time I just kept thinking about how I wanted to see you, and talk to you about it, and I knew just walking in here and looking at you would make the whole awful day that much fucking better and I just wanna go on a date. With you.”

Billy’s mouth was open.

“Holy shit.” Steve was steadily going even more red.

“I’m sorry if I just fucked up this whole thing we had goin’ on-”

“No, I wanna go out with you. I really like you too.” Steve was still, and then he started wiggling, that excited little side to side he does.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Steve stood up, shaking and wiggling in the cutest little happy dance Billy has ever fucking seen.

“Oh my God. I’ve wanted to ask you out for like, months. I’m so excited.” He flopped back into his seat. “Okay but first, Animal Farm. I think the pig’s an asshole.”

Billy leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Steve’s cheek.

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 7

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I decided to post this earlier than usual, both in honor of fanfic writer appreciation day and because I finished writing this one yesterday, and I was going to schedule it, and just not worry about anything... and then there was a power shortage and as I’m was writing this, on Tuesday, I had to rely on my phone to provide me with wifi. God bless... (Well, I have wifi now, don’t I?)

I just thought that after all the angst of the last two chapters you’d appreciate a bit of sweetness, and where this chapter started almost as harshly as the last two, it’s just. So sweet. And fluffy. And I feel so happy that I managed to do such a thing. Well... that and prove to the world that I’m a massive nerd. (If you really want to know, some of Emile’s rants in this chapters are based on actual answers I gave in my finals. And those of you who know me well enough know that I studied theatre in high school...)

Thanks and credits go to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the initial idea (and for being there to listen and talk about ideas with when we hang out, which happens a lot more lately actually), to @whatwashernameagain the absolute angel for Keep Him Safe and for being incredibly awesome (and for the German translation of one of my favorite quotes ever), to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual for their usual contributions that shall never go un-thank-ed and uncredited, and a special one to @winglessnymph who is the person and inspiration behind a good chunk of Emile’s background and who, after showing them a screenshot of this chapter, just said “my old high school can burn, but yes at least Emile survived”.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemygaydad, @violetblossem

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter in particular also has mentions of alcohol and drug use.

—————

"But I want you to come!"

"Leah, sweetie, I can't come. I'm going to Emile's. But I'll see you sooner than you think, okay?"

"Okay… but it's not going to be fun. Rachel is two and she's boring and I don't like Mom."

Leah called every day after school. Remy could've been in a class, or at a group meeting, or taking a shower, and she would call every day after school. It was somewhat adorable.

But now was no time to deal with adorable.

"Emile, my darling, my precious, my sweet sweet love," Remy declared at the beginning of their morning sols 20 class last Monday, "can I come over for thanksgiving?"

"Didn't you say you have to see your mom?" Emile whispered over his cup of tea, struggling to get comfortable. The weather got extremely cold lately, and at thirty-six degrees at eight in the morning, not even the four layers and giant thermos full of tea could keep Emile warm enough to survive morning classes.

India literally asked him if he's not supposed to be used to such temperatures, which earned her a lecture on hypersensitivity and illness caused by stress.

"But it's Linda! Emile, babe, sweetheart, darling, dollface—"

"Don't call me bubbeleh and I'll consider it."

"It'll be worth it. I promise—"

"I need to ask my mom, and my sister is coming to pick me up because I'm kinda scared of flights, and Minnesota is kind of far away."

"Alright. I don't mind."

He really hoped Nathalie would agree.

"I don't want to be here alone," Leah half-whined.

"I know, babe, but it won't be long. Trust me."

He let her talk about school for a good while more, at least until he could hear Linda screaming at her to stop holding the line. It was horrifying. He didn't remember her doing it much.

Then again, she was barely home anyway.

The call disconnected rather quickly, right on time for his appointment at the psych clinic. The grad student who claimed Remy as his personal project was supervised today by the head of the department, as part of his research, which meant Remy had to be on his best behavior.

It also meant he'd get misgendered. Which was a thing said student, whose thesis was on gender dysphoria and gender identity (same subject as his big project for AP psychology back at Bronx Science, really), made sure to not do.

This was going to be fun.

——

"You went to the Bronx High School of Science, right?"

"Yeah? Gurl, why you asking me? I told you that already."

"A 4.0 GPA, went to a gifted program in Columbia—"

"Why are you asking me questions you already know the answer to?"

"Dr. Freeman wanted to hear those for himself," Remy heard the guy - Michael, his name is Michael, stop calling him "the guy" - mutter to himself as he typed away on his laptop.

"What makes you think that you're a boy, Miss Harris?" The doctor asked, pushing his glasses up. What a prick…

"Well, considering how I was quite literally diagnosed with gender identity disorder by a licensed psychiatrist, I don't think I am. I know I am."

"And yet, you've enrolled into Harvard under the name Rebecca. Is there any explanation as to why?" Freeman looked directly at Remy. "You're an intelligent young person, and enrolling under your preferred—"

"I didn't know I could do it, and now I have, like, no idea how to change it in administration."

"Biologically speaking, Mr. Harris, the concept of sex is very non-binary." The older man's gravelly voice seemed to chill even Michael, still taking notes. Suddenly he didn't seem so evil.

"First of all," Dr. Freeman said, "in sexual species, you can have female be XX and males just be X. For example, in insects. Female birds are ZW and males are ZZ, for reptiles it's temperature differences that female or male make. In some flatworms it's a penis fencing competition. Some fish like clownfish and parrotfish can have females become males because there are no males left, and the New Mexico whiptail lizards are a female-only species who reproduce asexually. Some species, like cuttlefish, have males act like females in order to get close to the females. And fungi have thousands of sexes. And that's not even getting close to humanity."

The doctor cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee. "You can be male because you were born female but have a 5 alpha-reductase deficiency, and so you develop a penis in puberty. You can be female because you were born with XY chromosomes but you're insensitive to androgens, or because your Y is missing the SRY gene, both of which would result in developing a female figure. You can be male because you were born with two XX chromosomes but one of them does have the SRY gene. You can be male by having two X chromosomes and one Y, or a female by having only one X chromosome. And you can be male or female by being born in the wrong body for your brain.

"As I said, there is no such thing as two biological sexes only. So I'll ask you this again. Why would you enroll as a female named Rebecca if you know that you are neither?"

Remy had no idea how to respond. The professor looked at him, straight at him, and Michael kept typing away…

"...I told you, I had no idea I could do that."

"I'll write you a note to give to Vivian in administration. She'll take care of everything, you just need to provide her with a name."

"It's Remy—"

"I hope you understand that this isn't legal, it's only official. I don't have a doctorate in psychology just to explain what's the difference between the two to my students."

Remy nodded nervously, swallowing air. "Yes sir."

——

"Your suite is so much more comfortable than mine," Emile wiggled on the couch, petting his bunny, as Remy was making him a cup of tea. "You can… clearly see Leah was here."

"The marks on the wall? Yeah… she brought her scooter with her and wouldn't stop running into the wall with it."

Emile giggled - how much cuter could this boy get? - and scratched Mycroft's head a bit. "I asked my mom and, yeah, my grandparents and my uncle and his family are coming over, so it wouldn't be that much of an issue if you came over, but…"

"But?"

"We're having thanksgiving at my grandparents' on my dad's side. So it might be a bit of an issue. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. It's okay, we didn't plan for this or whatever. I'll watch over Leah and you take care around your family, okay?"

"Okay. Have fun with her. She'll really need it."

"I know and I'm willing to suffer for that."

The kettle started whistling. Remy filled the mug with the boiling water and took it to Emile.

Just yesterday Emile screamed "I waited five minutes and the weather didn't change, get your shit together, Boston" at the sky when it started to snow. It wasn't even that much, Remy had seen bigger storms and he was sure that Emile did too - he was from Minnesota, after all - but it was still somewhat funny. After asking, Emile explained that in Minnesota, and basically all around the Midwest, "if you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes".

Remy didn't think he meant it literally. He probably didn't.

"How's India doing?"

"Midterms."

"Cool."

Emile was muttering something to himself in a language Remy didn't understand. He let Mycroft go and the bunny just sat there, on the couch, looking happy enough.

"Hey Remy, what's the Hebrew word for thanksgiving?"

"...I'm a Christian from New Jersey. Why are you asking me?"

"I don't… I don't know. My parents are expecting me to call my cousins before thanksgiving and they don't know English or Dutch yet… not that I know that much Dutch either, but… wait, you're from New Jersey? I thought you're from Manhattan."

"Only since I was five."

"Oh. Cool."

Remy moves the bunny and sat down next to Emile, who leaned against his side and put his head on his shoulder. His hair was incredibly soft, Remy was never quite able to stop running his fingers through it, and the whole situation just… made Remy feel like everything was going to be okay. Just… don't move from this spot, where the his adorable, tiny friend was cuddling up to him and muttering to himself in a different language, and everything will be alright.

His hair smelled like jasmine and seawater. And Remy was torn between admitting to himself just how much he liked it, and wondering if Chris would be jealous.

"You went on a date, right?" Emile raised his head, his hair tickling Remy. "I just…"

"Yeah, I did." And it was a bit better than Halloween. Chris was… way more interesting when not in parties, apparently. For one, he did not talk about his crush on Harrison Ford, and he did talk quite a bit but at least it was about law school and not Indiana Jones. It was… it was great.

"Huh… that's nice." And then, "a friend once asked me on a date. I had to say no."

"Why? Was something so wrong that—"

"No… I like that guy, but… he's the same guy who always paid me to bake weed brownies for him and his friends, and that's not very appropriate, right?"

He had to do a double take. "Weed brownies?!"

"Yeah… my school was the druggie school, you know?"

"No… I didn't know."

"Yeah… it's not like my parents couldn't afford to send me where my sister went, but they were worried about how the stress would affect me so I went to a public school. And… at least I only ever sneaked vodka in water bottles and baked weed brownies, I never, like… held someone's hair out of their face in the bathroom or had to keep someone from killing themselves, which now that I say it out loud just sounds so bad and I totally would've done it if I had to but—"

"Emile, babe, you're making me worry. Like, really."

"Sorry… I never ate weed brownies, though. I'm sensitive to weed."

This… this was the thing that baffled Remy about Emile. This… tiny, pure, angelic thing, with the soft hair that always smelled like jasmine and seawater and the bright, sparkling eyes. His soft little friend whose sunny disposition never faltered, not even in the darkest of times, and whose dedication and determination shone through everything he did.

Emile Picani, the sweetest human Remy ever met, was used to sneaking vodka into school and baking weed brownies.

Fuck.

"How do you even find out that you're sensitive to weed if you don't, like, smoke weed or whatever?"

"You have to decarboxylate the weed to activate it, which basically means heating it up, and the smell gives me migraines, so… that's how I found out."

Yeah, because that's so much better.

"But I mean, good riddance. Can we watch Mulan? I want to do something…"

"Aren't you reading that Sartre thing?"

"No Exit? I already finished it." Emile sipped on his tea. "I don't… get it? I can see why Estelle and Garcin will never achieve an epiphany, but Ines came in already aware that she's amoral… can't she just… leave Hell?"

Gilliam gave the class an optional assignment, to read and analyze No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre. It wasn't even going to go into their final grade, but he did say that it might be very important to the next semester when they study Freud ("and how he almost ruined the entire field of psychology, more or less"), so Remy chose to leave it for Christmas break. Or maybe not even read it.

"It's something like sixty pages, it's shorter than Hedda Gabler or The Cherry Orchard… it's an easy—"

"Question one, what the fuck is Hedda Gabler, and question two, what cherry orchard?"

Emile's eyes lit up and he almost jumped in his seat, spilling some of his tea on his lap and causing Mycroft to hop a bit farther. "Did you ever do theatre?"

And off on a rant he went, explaining every little nuance and allegory in both the plays ("so like, back in Ibsen's time, realistic theatre was meant to portray real life and keep the three unities, so Hedda shooting herself off-stage is meant to shock the audience as well as preserve the unity of place, which is pretty much…", "you know, the reason it's called Hedda Gabler despite Hedda being married to Jorgen Tesman is to show that Hedda sees herself as the daughter of General Gabler first and the wife of Jorgen Tesman second", "the cherry orchard is never really in scene ever, so it's kind of like a fantasy, or trying to hold onto a thing that isn't there anymore, like the Russian aristocrat's status, so when middle-class Lopakhin buys the orchard and orders to start cutting it before the others even left is like an even bigger sign that the aristocracy has fallen and there is no place left for it in the modern Russian society, in the face of the upcoming bourgeoisie and their budding materialism").

It was worse than Leah talking about betta fish. Well… no it wasn't, but he couldn't bring himself to shut Emile up… he was too cute to be told to shut up.

"So I just… I don't get it. Ines should be able to pick herself up and walk out the door, so why isn't she doing it?"

Emile was out of tea by the time Remy caught him looking at him with questioning eyes and realized he'd completely zoned out.

"Maybe… societal pressure?"

"Maybe… but it still makes no sense. She's in one room with two incredibly selfish people… can I boil some more water?" Remy nodded and Emile practically jumped out of his lap. The cold immediately hit Remy with a wave of disappointment. He wanted to hold Emile just a bit longer...

"Then again," Emile kept ranting, "this is the play that coined the term ‘Hell is other people'. L'enfer, c'est les autres. De hel zijn de anderen. Hagehenom hu hazulat."

"How many languages was that…?"

"Four." Remy choked. "I don't speak Dutch or Hebrew very well, I told you that. I only know the basics because of my family. But I do know this saying in five languages. I think... My oma and opa really like saying it. But I don't remember how to say it in German."

This boy was impossible.

"No, no, I do remember it. Die Hölle, das sind die anderen."

And Remy absolutely loved him. (A bushel and a peck.)

"And I only know how to say it in German because my neighbors are German. So like… I really only speak two languages."

"That's still way more than me, babe."

"Well, enough about me! I want to hear more about your date! How awesome was it?"

Oh, it was great. Chris didn't talk only about himself, he was actually interested in listening to Remy talk about his interests, they had a lovely dinner and went to see a slightly better than okay movie (he was not going to tell Emile that The Ring gave him nightmares for three days after watching it though), and he kissed him when they got back to Harvard. Nothing big, everything was nice, and they were going on a date again in early December. Nothing could be better.

Except the voice in his head, calling him a liar.

"That sounds very nice," Emile muttered as he plopped back down next to Remy and put his cup of tea on the table. "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun. The Two Towers and Chicago are supposed to come out in December. And I promised my sister I'll go to see both of them with her."

A comfortable silence settled in. Remy tried to focus on anything but how nice it was to cuddle Emile, especially today that all his suitemates had other obligations. It was almost time to leave for thanksgiving - those who left for thanksgiving anyway - and… it meant he wouldn't see Emile for a week.

He didn't think he was a fan of the idea.

"Can we please watch Mulan? I haven't seen it in forever!"

Remy had to oblige.

——

"Hello?" The tiny voice that came through the phone made Remy so happy, and he had no idea why. "Who's that?"

"Leah, aren't you supposed to be doing your homework?"

"Remy oh oh oh Remy I have so many things to tell you so yesterday I went to the park and I found a shiny rock and—"

"Leah, I called to tell you and Linda that I'm coming over for thanksgiving." The high-pitched scream almost ruptured his eardrum. "But you have to be on your best behavior, okay? I know it's a very hard thing to do, babe, but it's for Linda."

"Okay! I can behave very good!"

"I know you can, sweets. I just need you to promise me that you will."

"I promise that I will! Pinky promise! When you get here it'll be a pinky promise, okay?"

All that was left was to hope that thanksgiving won't be such a disaster.

If it was, though, Remy would start considering smuggling Leah with him to Cambridge.

[singulari-taee]

The Danger in Duality | 05

COLLEGE! AU  |  ASSASSIN! AU  |  ANGST  | SMUT  | COMEDY |  8.5k

BTS X Reader

“You and your seven squad members must take on the struggles of being world-class assassins while also living as full-time college students.”

    The sunlight was painful when your eyes finally adjusted. You groaned, stretching out onto the empty spot next to you. There was a moment of confusion in your morning haze as your brain caught up to the night before.

    Oh, right. He had been there last night. In a last ditch effort to calm your nerves, you let him sleep up there with you. Yoongi, your smart-mouthed squad member, of all people.

    Everything looked as if usually did--nothing out of place, the blanket from the floor neatly folded on your dresser. It made you wonder if he was ever there in the first place. Your hand went to your waist, left with the ghost traces of his touch. The whole thing was so strange, you thought. In all your years of knowing him, you never took him for a cuddler. But for some reason, you weren’t completely put off by it. And that’s what worried you the most.

     Whipping your covers off, you began your daily routine as you got ready for classes. You went to wash the dishes that you had left on the table the night before. Though to your surprise, they were already clean in the dish rack.

    Your eyebrows knitted together. Luna must have washed them when she got in, you figured. Shit, you couldn’t keep up with the piling debt of favors you owed her anymore. You sighed, turning on your heels as you left the apartment.

________________________

      Classes passed slowly. It was the usual--everyone played on their phones, took naps mid-lecture, and asked dumb questions that could have been answered if they had just done the fucking reading.This only added to the painful Thursday lull.

     You trekked across campus towards the boys’ apartment, a kind of solace when the day came to an end. You began to run down your mental to-do list. Begin research for your history project, send a couple emails, sharpen your knives, do your calculus homework, update your kill log, and maybe even go to the gym since you hadn’t had a mission in 2 weeks. You’d try to get some of the boys to come if you could--Jungkook would go for sure, that kid practically lived in the gym.

     Crossing the street, a familiar frame walked toward you. The petite girl waved almost frantically with a wide smile.

   “Hey!” you expected her to walk past, but she parked in front of you on the sidewalk, “How’s it going?”

     You shifted feet awkwardly, looking past her at the apartment building that was just so close. “Okay I guess. Just glad to be done with classes...you?”

      “Not so good,” Luna sighed, “I went to the library to print something for a class but all the machines were broken. I have to turn in my assignment in an hour or I’m screwed.”

     “Damn, that sucks.”

   She turned over her shoulder, “Oh, don’t your friends live there?” she asked, pointing to the building behind her.

    “Yeah, I was just headed over there now actually.”

     “Do you think they have a printer I could use? It would only be like 2 seconds!”

   In the back of your mind, you saw the loud machine that sat unused in the corner of their living room, collecting dust over the months.

    “If they don’t it’s okay I guess, but I just really need one. This assignment is worth like 10% of my grade and if I don’t get it in then my average is dead and I already know I won’t be able to bring it up if the midterm is anything like the last exam and….”

     You watched her ramble on, stressing. As you came to your conclusion, you already knew the boys would kill you for it later.

    “Yeah I think they do,” you said slowly, “Come on, I’ll bring you.”

   She launched into a string of ‘thank yous’, and you immediately pulled your phone from your pocket and typed in the groupchat.

----------------------- You: HIDE EVERYTHING!!

Namjoon: ???

Hoseok: What?

You: IM COMING OVER IN 2 MINS WITH LUNA HIDE EVERYTHING

Seokjin: WHY

Taehyung: omg

Jimin: wtf???

Seokjin: _____ we have 3 assault rifles, a machete, and a dozen poison darts on the kitchen table WHAT are we supposed to do with them??

You: IDK HURRY AND FIGURE IT OUT ALMOST THERE SORRY

---------------------------

       Luna had been speaking the entire time you typed. You caught some words, responding with grunts in between as you climbed the stairs to the 2nd floor. You nodded and gave what little reactions you could to draw out the walk in feigned interest, but the distance to the door only shortened. Your feet dragged along the floor, still covered in wet footprints from the rain of the night before. In no time you were in front of the wooden barrier, and you begrudgingly brought up your fist to give 3 slow knocks.

      When the door opened, Namjoon stood in the doorway. A tight smile was spread across his face as glanced over you and Luna. You knew he was trying to hide his heavy breathing.

      You looked past him into the living room, where the others were casually splayed across the sofas.

     Too casually. The place was never this quiet. Or clean.

     “Hi,” he said as he opened the door to let you both walk in, “I’m Namjoon.”

     “Hey, nice to meet you, I’m Luna.” she said as she reached out to shake his hand. She waved at the boys, “I’ve only heard about you but I’m glad to finally meet you guys!”

    “Same to you,” Hoseok said, sparing a glance up from his laptop to smile.

     “Luna was wondering if she could use your printer for an assignment,” you said.

    “It’ll be really fast then I’ll be out of your hair,” she said.

     “Yeah sure, it’s over here,” Namjoon said and walked her over.

     You made your way over to a free spot on the sofa, the entire way feeling eyes digging into your face. When you finally gave in to look at them, you turned to see several stares, mixed with all of the confusion and annoyance you were expecting.

  ‘What.The. Fuck?!’ Jimin mouthed.

   You shrugged, “Sorry!”

     Seokjin was making a scene with his body, arms flailing as he wordlessly screamed at you.

     “You’re lifesavers, you have no idea,” Luna said as she turned around.

     Seokjin froze, arms awkwardly placed above his head. He beamed, his smile as bright as it was fake, “I’m glad we could help.”

      The printer loudly spit out the papers, and Luna placed them in her backpack, “I really hate to do this, but can I use your bathroom before I go?”

     There was a pause around the room.

     “Uh yeah sure, you can use Seokjin’s. It’s back here,” Namjoon said, leading her down the hall. His was definitely the best option. His room was always the cleanest, and free of weapons.

      Namjoon walked back into the living room, and everyone listened intently for the sound of the bathroom door closing. You could already feel the energy building, and you knew all of that pent up pressure would explode soon enough. When the light sound of the door came, everyone turned to you and erupted in heated whispers.

     “_____, seriously?!” Hoseok spat.

     “Your roommate?!” Jimin said.

     “We had to stuff everything in the couch and in the pantries!” Jungkook said, “I almost stuck myself with a dart trying to rush!”

     You held your hands up, “HEY! I said I was sorry! I couldn’t just let her fail her assignment.”

    “I mean, you could have,” Jimin said.

     Yoongi snorted. He was sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, shaking his head. He hadn’t said anything since you had walked in, an out of character move to say the least. He’d be the first person you’d expect to dig into you over something like this, clawing into you with some backhanded comment that was bound to make you both go back and forth until someone intervened. But no, he was silent.

      The evening news had began, the anchor’s drawl calling everyone’s attention. Watching local news as a group had always been a good way to keep your eyes out for potential crimes and missions you’d need to take care of later.

      The screen flashed with red letters reading ‘Breaking News’, as a mugshot of a young man appeared in the far corner. He was in terrible shape, face bruised and scratched, eyes tired and bloodshot. He seemed strangely familiar, the face triggering something in your memories that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Then it registered.

      “Wait...Jimin isn’t that your frat brother?” Seokjin asked.

     “Whoa, that is him,” Taehyung said, scooting closer to the edge of the sofa.

     “This man, Lee Haneul, walked into to the city police station this morning and reported himself for drug possession and possession with the intent to distribute. Lee carried many substances with him, including cocaine, several methamphetamines, and rohypnol, a common date rape drug.”  The anchor said.

     They showed a clip of Haneul in handcuffs being escorted to a police car, head down and out of it.

      “Police say that it was a very strange situation,” the reporter said, ”When the suspect was searched further, they were horrified to find that one of the man’s testicles had been severed. He did not state how it had occurred, saying that he could not recall. Investigators believe that it could be an effect of the drugs. The suspect is pleading guilty to all charges, and if prosecuted could face up to 20 years in prison.”

     The room turned to Jimin, who was suddenly interested in his fingernails.

    “You didn’t...” you said.

     “Jimin…” Taehyung began.

    “My God,” Namjoon sighed. 

    “Wow,” Hoseok said.

     He shrugged, “I told you I would handle it.”

     You stared open-mouthed at the boy, “You really cut one of his balls off?”

    “Yeah, why only one?” Jungkook asked.

    You could all hear the the sink run in the bathroom, and soon after the door opening.

   Luna walked into the living room and grabbed her backpack, “Thanks so much for everything, I couldn’t have done it without you--”

    Suddenly a kitchen cabinet flew open. Two pistols tumbled out as they clattered loudly onto the floor. Luna turned to the sound and you jumped up immediately.

      “Luna!” you were next to her in a second, bringing an arm around her shoulders,

     “You know it's no big deal, we’re all happy we could help you out!” you quickly guided her to the front door. You pulled it open and you walked her out.

     “You’re really the best, _____. Anyways, thanks again! It was nice meeting you all!” She called over her shoulder as you watched her walk down the stairs and out of sight.

     You closed the door, back against it as you took a deep breath.

   “She seems nice enough,”  said Hoseok.

   “I don’t know, I still get psycho vibes,” Jimin said.

     “Rich coming from the guy that just cut another man's balls off,” you said.

    “Correction, it was just one ball,” he said, “And he shouldn’t have been such a shitty person. I’m just handing out karma”

    “What are you going to do if he tells that you were the one who did it?” Taehyung asked.

    “After the night we had, believe me, he won’t say a thing.”

     As a member of the squad, none of you were supposed to use your abilities to take justice into your own hands outside of your given assignments. There was only an explicit rule about killing off the clock, and technically Jimin didn’t break that. Though torture was never banned, it was expected that you all would use your own moral compass and self control to make your own decisions. Jimin had gotten Haneul to turn himself in by his own means, effectively getting another dangerous criminal off the street. Technically, by The Academy’s standards, Jimin didn’t do anything wrong.

     “Let’s hope so. The last thing we need right now is for The Academy to get us out of some more shit,” Namjoon said, “After that gun incident they’re not too happy with us right now.”

     Everyone eventually went to find the weapons they had hidden around the apartment. Namjoon went to retrieve the AK-12 he had jammed under the kitchen sink, Jungkook pulled the poison darts from the couch cushions, Yoongi slid out the machete he had camouflaged under the wood of the fireplace. Everyone was working to get things back to normal, save for Hoseok. He was in the corner of the room, focus trained on his computer screen as he scribbled notes into one of his notebooks. You remembered him mentioning something about some big group project for his midterms coming up, and it seemed to be the bane of his existence lately. (“I have one request. When I die, I’d like for everyone in my group to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.” he had said.)

    “I think that’s everything,” Seokjin said to the pile of weapons stacked on the coffee table.

    “No,” Jungkook began, “I put 12 darts in the couch and I can only find 11.”

    “It’s in there somewhere. Just don’t sit on the cushions too hard.”

    “Hey! They’re giving away free cheese fries at that fried chicken place on the corner today,” Taehyung announced as he pointed to an ad on his phone, “The deal is over at 8.”

    The place was a hole in the wall probably as old as the city itself, but the fries were so good you’d do shameful things to get them for free on any other day.

    It was now 7:40.

     “You’re shitting me! Why are we still standing here, let’s go,” you said.

    “The line is probably around the building,” Hoseok said, “I’m swamped with work and I have to meet with my group later. If its too busy then I can’t go.”

   “You need to eat though, right?”

    “They do have good fries…” he said to himself.

    Contemplation crossed Hoseok’s face before he gave in. Seconds later everyone was putting on their jackets and practically running out the door.

     Though the line wasn’t long, the inside of the restaurant was chaotic. Voices and clattering plates were the main soundtrack, the place filled with rambunctious college students and overwhelmed waiters.

    The group rushed to the only empty booth in the place. A frenzied waitress came over a few minutes later. She was quick in taking your orders, seeming to try her best to be hospitable but obviously overwhelmed by the buzzing around her.

     “Is your fried chicken batter made with onion powder?” Namjoon asked the waitress.

       There was a collective eye roll. It was a given that Namjoon would have some question about the food whenever you went out to eat. It would happen every time, without fail. It could be a place that you’ve all been to a dozen times, and he would still come up with something new to satisfy some newfound curiosity. (Are your Arnold Palmers more lemonade or sweet tea? How long do you grill your steaks for them to be considered well done? What’s the third most popular thing on the menu?)

    “Here we go again,” Jungkook muttered.

    “Is he serious?” Seokjin asked you.

     The girl seemed to snap out of her frenzied state. You could practically see her rewinding the question in her head, “Um, I’m not really sure but I can ask the kitchen.”

   “It's fine, we’ll all just have an order chicken and cheese fries for everyone. Thank you!” you said.

    She left the table how most waiters do when you all eat together, fast and confused.

    You turned to him. From his wide eyes and lanky armed shrug he clearly didn’t understand.

    “What? I read an article last night talking about the dangers of onion toxicity and wanted to be sure.”

     “You’re sitting in a restaurant with a C level sanitation rating and you’re worried about onion toxicity?” Yoongi asked.

    “Honestly, you could probably catch tetanus from just the forks in this place,” you said.

    “True, but the food is so good if I saw a hair in my fries I’d just mark it off as extra seasoning and keep eating,” Hoseok said, still writing in the notebook he had brought with him.

     None of you could say he was too wrong. It was just that good.

    “Fine whatever, enjoy your high blood pressure and onion-induced anemia,” Namjoon muttered.

     There was a collective ding! around the table. It was a familiar sound, one that made your heart rate speed up just the slightest out of habit. Your phones only made it when you were all being contacted by one entity in particular.

     You all immediately fished in your pockets with silent urgency. A long red message popped up on your screens.

_______

MISSION #43: IMMEDIATE ACTION REQUIRED!

Mob Hideout uncovered.  

“The Menaces” :  Mob with drug smuggling focus. Crimes include murder, theft, arson, and drug distribution. Most influential with males ages 17+. Responsible for 15% of civilian murder deaths in last 3 months. The Menaces will be looking for new recruitments tonight within a group of interested young males at the top of the hour.

In-Location Scouts will need to be on site compiling information while acting as patrons of the casino. The “Recruitment” Plants will need to act as an interested candidates for the Mob and momentarily infiltrate. Security Surveillance will need to keep a watch for odd activity and notify those inside immediately.

Roles:

In-Location Scouts: Namjoon, Yoongi, _______, Jimin, Jungkook

“Recruitment” Plants: Hoseok, Taehyung

Security Surveillance: Seokjin

Location: Grand Castle Casino.

Recruitment in abandoned parking garage in south east wing.

Private rooms in south west wing serves as a brothel for high rollers, servers in casino also work there as prostitutes.

Find main target names, photos, and location coordinates below.

______

      You all met eyes for a brief moment before scrambling out of the booth and bolting for the door.

   “Everyone meet back at the apartment in 20!” Namjoon said.

    The group turned to run home, but Hoseok’s hands shot up.

   “Wait, wait, wait!” Hoseok said, “I can’t go.”

   “What?!” Namjoon asked.

    “I have this midterm group project remember? I have to meet with my group in half an hour and if I’m not there I know we’ll all fail.”

    “So you’re ditching the mission for a project?!” Jimin said, in disbelief, “Just text them and say something came up!”

   “You’re one of the biggest roles in this mission, we need you!” Taehyung said.

   “It’s due tomorrow and we’re not even close to being done! My grade is already shit, I need this. This mission came out of nowhere what do you want me to do?!” Hoseok said.

   “Come!” Jimin said.

   “Whatever, we’ll figure it out later, lets just go!” Namjoon said.

    You were at your apartment in record time. You slung open your bedroom door, digging through your closet and throwing random clothes on the bed. It was rare that you all got surprise missions like this. But when you did, everyone took it even more seriously than the others. The Academy wasn’t one to send you out unprepared, so if they said a mission needed to be completed immediately, it was urgent.

    That’s why it was irksome that Hoseok bailed. Even though it wasn’t planned, and you knew he had been working on this project for a while, no one had ever just decided to not come on a mission before. It was unheard of, and you couldn’t even imagine what The Academy would say if they ever found out.

     You threw on a black cocktail dress, hiking it up to slide two small combat knives into the hidden bands on your thigh. You had packed on more muscle since last time you wore it so it was more fitting than you remembered it to be, but you didn’t have time to be picky.

   You rushed to the boys’ place, running up at the same time as Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin, who were all panting as they carried their weapon cases. The oldest boys come bolting down the stairs.

    The squad jogged over to the parking lot towards the van. Seokjin usually parked in the same place every day, so it was to your surprise when the spot was empty. From the look on his face, he was just as surprised as you.

   “The van is gone,” he whispered, head whipping as he scanned the lot.

“What do you mean the van is gone?!” Jungkook asked.

     “The van is gone! It was here earlier today, and now it’s not!” he barked, “Somebody stole my van!”

    “You sure you didn’t just forget where you parked?” Taehyung asked.

   “I park in the same place every goddamn day! All my monitors, locators, mics-- everything was in there! How am I supposed to do my job?!” Seokjin grabbed fistfuls of his hair, beside himself.

    “We don’t have the time for this! We’ll find the van later Seokjin, we have a mission right now,” Namjoon snapped, “Okay, the casino is near downtown, right? So, the best option for us would be.... to take the train.”

   “The train,” Jimin said, flatly. It was less of a question and more of a ‘are you serious?’ statement.

   “Any other bright ideas, then? Our main mode of transportation is god knows where right now, I don’t see any other alternatives, Jimin,” he said, “The station is 2 blocks from campus, 5 from here. We can make it if we run.”

    If Namjoon of all people was saying you should run, you knew this was literally the only option you had.

    “Look, he’s right. We don’t have the choice to be picky. Let’s just go,” you huffed.

    You all shared a look, then picked up your feet to run to the station. The looks you all got were nothing compared to the night of the frat party. You passed groups of your peers, turning to look back twice at the group of 7 careening down the sidewalk.

   You all rushed to the ticket office.

   “Is there a train going to downtown now? When does it leave? How long will it take to get there?” Namjoon asked the teller. He was breathing hard, questions barely distinguishable.

    The woman looked him over with a roll of her eyes, unbothered despite his antsiness, “Yes there is a train, it’s scheduled to leave in 2 minutes, and it should be there in 20-”

   Namjoon all but threw a bill at the teller, “7 tickets please!”

    She huffed and slowly pulled some from her drawer, seeming to drag just to annoy you. Namjoon snatched them from her hands and you ran, following him.

    The train was seconds from pulling off from the platform when you jumped on.

   The space was crowded with the evening rush, and you all barely had space to move in the packed car. The civilians looked you all over. You could admit, it was a strange site, a group of twenty-something year olds dressed like they were all going to completely different places. You were lucky that your weapon cases looked like briefcases or else you’d all the in trouble.

    “Fuck are they looking at?” Jungkook muttered, adjusting the mask over his mouth.

   “Jin, if it makes you feel any better--” Taehyung began.

    “It won’t. Don’t talk to me,” Seokjin snapped, arms crossed. He radiated pure rage and annoyance, a dangerous cocktail even for him.   

     A woman in front of you took a step back to make room for more bodies, causing you to back away in the already limited space. Your back collided with another figure, and you turned to see Yoongi. He was squished, flat against the door of the train. You were pressed against him, butt to his crotch with no room for movement. You cleared your throat.

    “Sorry, I can’t move.”

    He grunted.

    Even through the many biting smells in the train, you picked up the familiar smell of his cologne.

    The train made a sharp turn in the tunnel, making you bump even further into your squad member.

   “Shit,” you mutter, almost losing your balance. You stepped onto his shoes on accident. He looked down at the floor to see your bare feet, your heels in your hand.

      You were good at a lot of things, but running in 5-inch heels wasn’t one of them. The last thing you needed was to twist an ankle on the way to a mission, you figured, so you ran the way-- shoe-less. Of course, not your first or desired choice, but you’d touched worse in your life--much worse. The frigid floors beneath your feet made you hyper aware of the filth that surrounded you in the train car.

    Yoongi stuck his legs out, the toes of his shoes wedging under your heel to separate you from the floor.

    “Yoongi, what-- I’m good, I’m not gonna stand on your feet.”

    “Just do it. This is my good deed for the day and I’m offering,” he said, “But if you give me foot fungus, it’s your ass.”

      You sighed, stepping onto his shoes. You grabbed the rail for support as the train continued to move.

     “God, why’re you so heavy?” he complained.

    You put even more pressure on his feet. He stifled a groan.

    The roar of the train fell to silence as it came to a halt. The doors opened, and bodies poured from the car. Your squad members gathered and hurried through the doors of the station into the downtown nightlife. The casino was across the street, a marvel of flashing lights.

      “Okay,” Namjoon said, “A few things didn’t go as planned but it’s fine. We’re fine. We just need to make some changes. Jin will you be okay?”

     “Since I don’t have any of my stuff my job will be hard...really hard...but not impossible. There has to be a security room with cameras in the place that I can work with. I just need to find it.”

     “I’ll go with you to look for it,” Jungkook said.

    “We know Hoseok was supposed to be here but we’ll have to work with what we’ve got for that role. That leaves us with...Tae,” Namjoon said.

     “I can do it,” Taehyung declared.

    “Are you sure? There was supposed to be two recruitment plants for a reason, one of us can take Hoseok’s place--”

    “They chose me for a reason too. I’ve got it. Trust me.”

      Namjoon nodded, “Okay. Everyone have their roles? Weapons? Earpieces? Alright,” he put his hand in the middle, and the others did the same, “Make it clean. Make it quick.”

     There was an echo of the phrase, and then you broke apart. You crossed the street and split into your separate groups. Your group squatted by some nearby bushes, taking the weapons you needed from the cases before sliding the big box deep into the brush.

    After walking the perimeter of the building, you found a side entrance, protected  by a single security guard. You came up behind the man, putting a chloroform napkin over his face. The man sank to the ground, and Jimin and Yoongi carried him into the shadows. Yoongi snagged the keys from his waistband and lead you all inside.

      The inside was filled with drunken chatter and the whir of games. People all over giving up wads of money for a night they were sure to regret later.

     “I don’t like the feeling of this place,” you said. Past the smiling faces and flashiness, there was an underlying unease, “2 o’clock. Two guards on the upper level.”

      The boys spared a glance up, seeing the two men in black suits standing above you all, surveying the floor below.

     “They don’t look like regular security,” Namjoon said, “They’re Mob affiliates for sure.”

    “There's more in that far left corner,” Yoongi nodded.

    “Shit they’re everywhere,” Jimin said. It seemed like every few feet there was another man wearing the same black suit, face a little too serious for the environment.

    “Jungkook, Seokjin, how are you guys looking?” Namjoon asked the earpiece.

     “Still haven't found anything yet, we just got inside,” Jungkook whispered, “Seokjin is terrified though, you should see him over here.”

     “I’m not scared, okay? Being inside is just...different,” Seokjin said.

     “Tae, what about you?” Namjoon asked.

     “I’m on my way to the hideout, I should be there in a few,” he replied in a low voice.

     Jimin put his arm around your shoulder, “You look like a snack, and I’ve got the munchies.”

     You made a face, “That was probably the ugliest thing you’ve ever said to me. And that's saying something.”

    “But I’m not lying! Hey, Yoongi, doesn’t she look like a snack?”

     Yoongi glanced at you, “She looks like leftovers.”

    “And you look like scraps.”

     “But even leftovers still get ate,” Jimin said, “He’s just jealous of what we have, love. Don’t listen to him,” he whispered.

    “I never do,” you said and elbowed Jimin in the stomach.

      You scanned the room and felt like you were being watched. You looked and caught Yoongi’s stare. He was looking you over, eyes glued to your body when he finally made it up to your face. Your eyes met, and he looked away, suddenly engrossed in a conversation with Namjoon.

    Your eyebrows knit together. The hell was that? you wondered

     A server walked by, a sway in her hips as she carried a tray of drinks.

     Jimin let out a low whistle, eyes glued to her retreating figure. He had a lightbulb moment.

    “I’ll go talk to her and get into the brothel...for information.”

   “The Academy said the brothel was for high rollers only, and you haven’t spent a dime here,” Namjoon said.

   He rolled his eyes, “Please. Watch this.”

     He followed after the server, who was now standing at the bar. He placed a hand on her back, leaning against the counter with a bright smile.

        “You’ve gotta give it to him, he’s got a lot of confidence,” Yoongi said as the three of you watched.

      “I mean this is his thing,” you said.

    Jimin said something and smirked, never breaking his gaze as he looked at her under his long lashes. The woman laughed, and even from where you stood you knew she was blushing.

    “Okay, say he does get in. How long do you think it’ll take before she takes him back there?” Namjoon asked.

    “10 minutes,” Yoongi said.

    “Give him a little credit,” you said, “I think 5.”

    As soon as the words left your mouth, she grabbed his hand and lead him away from the bar.

    He looked over his shoulder and winked.

    “He’s good,” you mused. If you had to say anything about Jimin, it was that he was great at his job.

    He walked with the server through a few back doors of the casino. The server typed a code into a padlock, grip still tight on his hand. It opened to a long hallway with many numbered doors, red lights coating the entire space with an alluring energy.

     “While I wish I could have you to myself tonight, I’m off the clock,” she pouted, looking up at him with a lust he was all too familiar with, “But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”

    They walked down the hall, their footsteps echoing off the walls. They stopped in front of one door labeled  ‘#4’. She tapped on the barrier, and it opened to a young woman in white lingerie. Her hair was messy, falling to her waist and adding emphasis to her curves. She eyed Jimin momentarily, a smile slowly spreading.

   “I see you brought me a good one,” she said.

    “You better thank me later,” the server said before turning to leave, giving Jimin’s hand a final squeeze and blowing a kiss.

   Jimin walked into the room. It was small, nothing else but a bed. The room was also covered in a red light, adding to the lure and temptation.

   She started to fiddle with his buttons, “Lets take some of this off, yeah?”

    “Jimin, a reminder that this is a mission and we can all hear you. Please don’t actually fuck her.” you said.

    “Please,” Seokjin echoed.

   He put his hands over hers, stopping her, “This looks really nice on you.” He said about her lacy ensemble. His hands lightly went from the tops of her arms down to her hips, “It would look good off too, I’m sure.”

    “Why don’t you find out?” she began sliding off her strap and he pulled her closer.

   “Later. I actually had something else in mind,” he said. He caught her eyes, holding them. A moment of confusion crossed her face. He quirked a brow at her, his seductive nature only enhanced by the light in the room. Just like that he saw her resolve waiver.

    “Oh...okay…” she said.

    He sat on the edge of the bed, and she followed.

    “White really suits you,” Jimin remarked, looking her over. She had been ogled by other men all night, but his gaze was different. It was loaded, more intense. She rarely talked much to the others, going straight to business, but he was different. It was refreshing. He was like a flame, dangerous yet so beautiful you couldn’t look away.

    “Thank you,” she replied, pulled into his gaze.

   “This place is really something. I thought it was just a regular casino, I didn’t know they had beautiful women like you here too. Must be my lucky day.”

    He didn’t have trouble reading her. Given her attitude, he knew she couldn’t have been in the business for too long. She had to be new. This would be easy, he thought. He would barely have to touch her.

      She laughed, running a hand through her hair. She was never nervous around clients, but around this man? She felt like she was losing control of herself, “This place is anything but regular.”

    “Really?” he asked, “Tell me more.”

    “Oh...I probably shouldn’t have said that. Nevermind.”

     “No,” he put a hand on her thigh, thumb tracing light circles, “Tell me...I want to know.”

      She made the mistake of looking at him again, and she was trapped in his eyes.

    “I mean, there’s just a lot that goes on behind the scenes that a lot of people don’t know about. But I’m not allowed to talk about it.”

    “Oh?” he brushed her hair behind her ear and leaned in closer, her heart rate steadily increasing. He placed a hand on her head, angling it so her neck was exposed to him. Her breathing grew shallow, and she was hyper aware of the hand still on her thigh. Her eyes closed, reveling in the touch of the gorgeous man. “Not even for me?”

     “I...I…” she breathed.

   “I just have a few questions, baby.” His breath tickled her throat, and his fingers creeped up her leg.

   “I just want to be touched,” she begged, “Please just touch me.”

   “How about this? I ask you a question, and for every one you answer you get to take something off for me? Deal?”

    Her eyes fluttered open, and she nodded, “Okay...what do you want to know?”

  “First...why is there a brothel at a casino?”

    She fidgeted, “We just make money for...them.”

    “The Menaces?” Jimin asked.

   She nodded, “The Casino too...it's a cover. What we make here and what’s made out there just goes back to them.”

    “Good. Take that off,” Jimin said, nodding to her garters. She slid them off her legs.

     “I heard that they’re recruiting boys tonight, do you know anything about that?”

    “Not much, only that those poor boys have it way worse than us. Its harder for them to leave. I’m not around them that much, but from what I’ve seen they beat the living shit out of the new recruits. I guess to see if they’re built for this. They just recruit young guys because they’re easier to use,” she said, words flying from her mouth.

    Yeah, this would be really easy.

    “Bra,” he demanded.

     Her fingers couldn’t undo the clasp fast enough. She took it off and threw it onto the floor, hungry.

    “I know the guys in the suits out there are all Menace guards. Is there anyone else that I should keep an eye on?”

    “Everyone that works here is Mob affiliated. The servers, bartenders, and dealers. Even the cleaning crew. “

   “Good. Panties.” 

    She lifted her hips and slipped them off into the pile by her feet.

     She was completely naked now. Jimin looked her over and smiled, leaning in again. She closed her eyes, breathing uneven as he neared the shell of her ear. He was so close, she just needed him to touch her, she had never wanted anything more.

  She felt something drop into her lap.

    “Thanks, babe.”

   She looked down to see a thick roll of cash, held together by rubber bands.

   By the time she tried to register what happened, he was already out the door.

____________________

    Past the large room of games, the rest of the first floor was oddly quiet. It was a maze of sterile white halls and unmarked doors that made the two squad members uneasy.

    Seokjin walked in front of Jungkook, tiptoeing anxiously.

    Jungkook slapped a hand on his shoulder, and the oldest yelped. Jungkook stifled a laugh.

     “I told you to stop doing that! You’re not funny!” Seokjin said through clenched teeth.

     “I couldn’t help it,” Jungkook whispered, “Having fun inside with the big kids?”

    “Fun’s not the word,” he replied, “I still can’t believe someone had the nerve to take my van. Who steals vans?! I was parked next to a Mercedes!”

   “Maybe they’re gonna sell it for parts or something.”

   “I swear if they-”

    There were footsteps approaching, and the two of them paused to hide behind a nearby wall. Three men walked past, talking into walkie-talkies.

    “We just left the security room, everything looks good,” one said.

    “Great. The recruits are filing in now. We’ll start in 5,” replied a staticky voice.

     When the hall was clear, the two walked on. The men were leaving the direction they were approaching, so the security room had to be close.

     “Here, take this,” Jungkook reached a gun over to Seokjin who eyed the weapon hesitantly, “I’m here to protect you, but you should have something too.”

    The oldest took the weapon gingerly in his hands. Sure he knew how to use it, he had been to basic training just like everyone else. But there was a reason why he was behind a computer all the time while the others handled the hands on work. It just wasn’t his thing.

    They rounded a corner to see five men standing in front of a single door.

    The men looked at them, guns drawn “The hell are you doing back here?!”

    Jungkook turned to Seokjin, “Stay behind me.”

    The youngest pulled a gun from his holster and fired, bullet landing in the middle of one men’s forehead as he slumped to the ground. The men paused in shock before spraying the hall with bullets. Jungkook ducked, shooting a gun out of another man’s hand and then hitting him straight through the heart.

     Seokjin stood open mouthed, frenzied as he tried to keep up with Jungkook who was quickly making it closer to the door. Another man ran up to Seokjin ready to shoot when Jungkook kicked the gun out of his hand and then roundhouse kicked him in the face, knocking him out cold. He shot him too, he couldn’t be too sure.

     A man came out of the room, horrified at the scene before him. He pulled out his gun, and Jungkook disarmed him before he could pull the trigger, grabbing him by the hair and slamming him against his knee with a hard crack. The last two ran up to him, and Jungkook pushed them both against the wall, one piled against the other. He placed the end of his pistol against one of their foreheads, and fired, the single bullet piercing both of their skulls and covering the wall in red.

    Jungkook turned to look at Seokjin, who was standing in the middle of the hallway, dumbfounded

   “See? Piece of cake,” Jungkook stepped over the bodies and opened the door. There was a wall covered with screens, focused on patrons, entrances, game tables and parking lots.

    Seokjin took a seat before the screens, “Alright, we found the security room,” he told the earpiece.

   “Good, do you see Taehyung?” Namjoon asked.

     There was one fuzzy screen that showed a dark parking garage, a group of young men walking in a line as they were brought in by large Mob bosses. He could see their squad member at the end of the line, head down and in character.

    “Got him.”

______________________

    The musty garage was lit with a few flickering lights, the smell shooting to the back of Taehyung’s nose as soon as he walked in. A few muscled men had given him a “pat down” earlier, which just consisted of them hitting him harder than necessary to see how he’d react, but he kept a straight face.

    He followed the line of boys into the space until they were told to stop. They stood before a group of large men, each holding some sort of weapon at their hip. They appraised the boys, each breathing heavy with a tinge of fear in their darting eyes.

     A man stepped forward, tattoos covering every inch of exposed skin. He was one of the leaders, Taehyung noted, along with the others in the room. They were all in the photos The Academy had sent earlier. His targets were all mere feet away.

    “So you wanna be a Menace, huh?” he asked, getting silence, “I SAID DO YOU WANNA BE A MENACE?”

   The boys jumped, muttering answers with eyes down.

    He walked towards a boy, “Why do you wanna be here?”

   “I-I don’t know--” he was interrupted when the man landed a punch in his gut, making him curl up and fall to his knees.

   “Wrong answer.”

    He made his way to the next boy. The man and the others began making fun of him, giving his face a few slaps as they pointed at his clothes in an ugly display of power. They went from boy to boy, pointing out flaws, slapping them around, and reveling in their weakness.

   He finally made it to Taehyung who was looking straight ahead, refusing to make eye-contact.

   “I remember you from the pat down. Not gonna lie kid that was impressive,” he remarked. He shoved Taehyung’s shoulder, but his feet stayed glued to the ground.

    The man looked back at his friends, “Shit, look at him! He might not look like it but he’s sturdy.”

   “Say kid, what are you good at?” another man asked.

    Taehyung shrugged, “Whatever you need me to be good at.”

    He laughed, “He’s got spunk too? I like him.”

     The one with the tattoos nodded, “Okay. I think we can get started with the initiation.”

   A Mob boss tossed a machete over and he plucked it from the air easily.

   “Do you know how to use this?” he asked.

   Taehyung eyed the weapon, unsure of where this was going, “Yeah.”

    “Great. Grab one of them why don’t you?” he said. One of the men yanked a boy from the line into the middle of the parking lot. He was scrawny, clothes hanging from his small frame. His expression was stoic, but Taehyung could tell he was terrified. He couldn’t be any older than 14. Someone handed him a machete as well.

    The man pushed the weapon into Taehyung’s grip, “Prove yourselves. You two will go at it, and the last one standing gets in. Simple enough.”

   Taehyung’s heart dropped, “You want me to kill him?”

   “Exactly.”

    “What? Are you crazy? No.”

    A voice rang through his earpiece.

   “Tae, hold it together. Keep character,” you said.

   “No?” The tattooed man repeated.

    “Tae, just play along for a bit,” Namjoon said.

    “He’s just a kid,” he said through his teeth.

   “You’re not going to do it? Whoaaa look at Mr.Tough Guy getting soft!”

    The man closest to the boy came and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground.

    “Stop!” Taehyung screamed.

     “Who are you yelling at, boy?” The tattooed man said as he took a step closer to Taehyung’s face. His breath reeked of cigarettes.

    Past him, he could see the other men slap and kick the boy, who was already in a ball on the floor.

    “This is how initiation works, you gotta earn your place here. Just know that if you don’t do it, then somebody will,” he said,  “And don’t think if you refuse you can just walk outta here either, kid. If you don’t do it, then...let’s just say you’re gonna get a little more acquainted with this machete than you thought.”

     Taehyung stared daggers through the man, blood boiling. The screams of the boy echoed around the garage. The other recruits looked away, wishing they could be anywhere else.

     “I’ll give you till the count of three!” the man shouted, “One...Two….Three…”

___________________

    You had settled at the bar.

     “I haven’t seen any of the main targets here yet,” Yoongi said, “Where the hell could they be. Seokjin, you see anything?”

    “Yeah they’re all in the garage with Taehyung and the other recruits,” Seokjin replied.

    You all could hear vague conversation through Taehyung’s earpiece, but were in the dark as to what was happening.

    “Does everything look okay with him?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink.

    “Yeah so far. These mob bosses are huge, though. Like, could probably destroy Jungkook in an arm wrestling match huge.”

    “How dare you?” Jungkook said. You could practically see the glare, “You can’t talk you can’t even bench 150! Even  ______’s roommate could probably snap your arm off.”

    “I never said she couldn’t. Now give me some space! There’s like 5 other chairs in here, why are you breathing down my neck?! Ugh, I can’t wait to get my van back.”

   “Namjoon you’re usually good at reading people. What do you think about Luna?” you asked, turning to your leader.

    He sighed, “Off of first impressions alone? Maybe not crazy...but she is a little odd. I see what you mean now about her being nice.”

    “Right! So nice! Too nice! She offers to do my laundry, makes me breakfast, and now washes my dishes. I forgot to put away the ones I used for dinner last night and I saw them in the dish rack this morning.”    

    “That was me,” Yoongi said.

    “You?” Yoongi wasn’t one to pick up after other people. He would just tell you off about how dirty you were until you decided to do something about it.

    He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, somebody had to clean up after you since you obviously can’t.”   

    Or so you thought.

    “I really should have pushed you out into the storm last night. I’m really regretting it now.”

    “I would have loved to see you try.”

    “You know what, I can’t wait to lay in my bed tonight without your loud ass snores keeping me up.”

    Yoongi’s looked like he had a retort on the tip of his tongue but stopped himself. His expression softened.

    He shifted in his seat, “I don’t snore.”

    “Oh that’s where you were last night. I knew I didn’t hear you come in,” Namjoon said, half-listening, half-surveying the room.

    The bartender had come back with the bill. You reached out to take it, and a large hand trapped yours, going for it at the same time. Yoongi’s eyes went from the tab to you. His hand didn’t move.

    “I’ve...got it,” you said, sliding your hand away and placing a 10 down.

    Yoongi brought his hand back and cleared his throat.

    You did the same. Why was he acting so weird? Why were you acting so weird?

    You zeroed back in on Taehyung, hearing bits of his conversation.

    “You want me to kill him?” he asked, “What? Are you crazy? No.”

    “Shit,” Yoongi said.

    “Tae, hold it together. Keep character,” you said in a low voice as more guards passed you.

    “Tae, just play along for a bit,” Namjoon said.

    “He’s just a kid,” Taehyung said.

    “They’re making him kill a kid?” Yoongi whispered to himself, disgusted.

    “We’ve got all the information we need here, we’ve gotta do something, I don’t know how much longer he can hold up by himself--” Namjoon began.

    Taehyung screamed, “Stop!”

    “This doesn’t look good, you guys. You should head over there now,” Seokjin said.

    “Tae, hold up a little longer! Try to distract them or something! We’ll be there in a bit,” Namjoon said. It came out loud, and a guard that was passing stopped in his tracks. He looked you all over, scrutinizing Namjoon who was seemingly talking to nothing.

    “Excuse me, sir,” the guard walked up to him.

    Namjoon broke out running, bolting away from the bar and leaving you both behind. The guard ran after him. Two more guards that were near eyeballed you and Yoongi as they walked towards you. You were still frozen at the bar.

    “We running?” you whispered.

   “Yup,” Yoongi said.

     You both darted away, hearing the footfalls of the men on your trails. You weaved through the slot machines and opened a side door. It lead to another random hallway. Yoongi pulled open a broom closet, and you both stuffed yourselves inside. You could hear the men run past the door, screaming at the other about which way you both had gone.

     Their footsteps retreated, and you became aware of how little space you truly had in the tight closet. You stood against one wall and Yoongi faced you with his back against the opposite side. His arms were placed at either side of your head to keep his balance in the narrow space, caging you in. The closet was dark, the only illumination coming from the crack under the door, but you could still see a sliver of his face.

      You were both breathing hard, trying to quiet yourselves as you heard more people walk past. His chest rose and fell with every labored pant. He looked down, meeting your stare. There was something there that you had never seen before. An interest. A fascination. Dare you say desire?

     It seemed to happen in slow motion. He ducked down, craning his head closer and closer to yours until your faces were just inches apart. You didn’t understand. All you had to do was put your hand up and push him back, but you didn’t.

     His eyes searched yours for a moment as he closed the distance between your lips.

    A voice suddenly snapped you back.

    “Guys, Tae needs backup! You better get in there now!” Seokjin screamed.

    You separated, and Yoongi jolted back to the opposite end of the closet. You opened the door, avoiding his eyes as you both hurried to the garage.

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