#my brain is full of worms who are all riding on a sam's town record as it rotates and i'm making it everyone's problem

[our-flag-means-love]

alright, so i made this playlist with the target audience of Specifically Me, but if anyone else loves both ofmd and the killers as much as i do, may i present:

Ed x Stede, as told by The Killers

15 songs, 59 minutes in total.

(also on youtube, if you don't use spotify or aren't able to listen in order, which i highly recommend)

i wanted to challenge myself to tell the story of their relationship (throughout s1 + a bit of hopeful speculation) using only songs by the band that's been rotting my brain for the past year, and i think i was able to do it surprisingly cohesively.

a brief explanation and lyric highlight for each choice can be found under the cut.

(all lyrics are taken from genius, in case some don't match what you hear or don't match what spotify says)

1. boy

this could really be read as either a stede childhood song or an ed childhood song. both? both is good.

these streets / weren't meant to house / jet-fueled engine dreams

2. When You Were Young

hoo boy, if there was ever a song about ed having religious trauma.

he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentleman / like you imagined when you were young

3. I Can't Stay

sorry to go straight from one of their best songs to one of their... not best songs. but yes, stede leaving mary.

in the dark, for a while now / i can't stay, very far / i can't stay much longer / riding my decision home

4. The Man

the man, the myth, the legend, Blackbeard™, with a head made of smoke and all that.

i got skin in the game / i got a household name / i got news for you baby, you're looking at the man

5. Flesh And Bone

except, oops, he's actually a person, too. and his relationship with his near-mythical persona is a complicated one.

what are you afraid of? / and what are you made of? / flesh and bone / and i'm running out of time

6. Tidal Wave

they're falling in love, your honor.

you say this life has given you nothing / you got another thing coming

7. Andy, You're A Star

uh oh, ed's prioritizing love and happiness over his career and his fame! izzy sure isn't happy about that.

in a car with a girl / promise me she's not your world / 'cause andy, you're a star

8. Mr. Brightside

yeah, i'm sorry, i know this song is overplayed, but i had to. here comes calico jack, my beloved dumpster fire, to separate our boys.

jealousy / turning saints into the sea / swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis

9. Neon Tiger

ah, here they come, that good ol' english navy looking for stede.

run neon tiger, there's a price on your head / they'll hunt you down and gut you / i'll never let 'em touch you

10. Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

ed's time away from stede is pretty dang miserable. and for this song's eerie ending, picture his smile right before he pushes lucius overboard.

before you say goodbye / leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly

11. Everything Will Be Alright

stede, my sweet optimistic boy, you have no idea what you're returning to.

and you don't need to compromise / i'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes / i never knew, i never knew / but it's alright

12. The Rising Tide

angry! ed! breakup! song!

before life and the dream collide / 'cause the truth's gonna come and cut me open wide / and you can't escape the rising of the tide

13. Have All The Songs Been Written?

stede's apology.

i just need one more to get through to you / i can't take back what i've done wrong / i just need one more

14. All These Things That I've Done

ed coming to terms with his past, his present, and his future.

these changes ain't changing me / the cold-hearted boy i used to be

15. Bones

they've reunited for good, and now they fuck. (seriously, the following are probably my favorite lines but they don't nearly do justice to how horny this song is.)

there's someone calling / an angel whispers my name / but the message relayed is the same: / "wait 'til tomorow, you'll be fine"

if you've read this far, thank you so much for indulging this intersection of my two biggest brainrots of 2022. for making it to the end, i'll reward you with the opportunity to Behold the kiss again:

[sgt-morgan]

Lucky Kentucky ch. 1

Chapter 2

Hello there, this is my new Rockstar!Bucky x Reader fic. It was heavily inspired by my love of seventies mega rockstars, Almost Famous, Classic Rock, and a little bit of personal whimsy. I hope you enjoy, and read responsibly.

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ : cussing, sexy times, drugs, booze, smoking, objectification, fornication, liberation, and a litany of other sordid topics and traumas.

Your name didn’t matter, at least not so far as you could tell. They called you Kentucky, sometimes if they felt cheeky, Bluegrass. You liked it, the first band that gave you that name was some shitty college band out of Detroit. They were convinced they were gonna be the next Led Zepplin. They called it quits three years later, a good old fashioned Rock n’ Roll suicide, booze, women, and drugs. The finer things always gets the best amateurs. However, their lead singer had a way with words, he came up with the nickname. He also wrote a beautiful song about a girl named Kentucky, who he just couldn’t swing, some big named country superstar sang the song and the last you’d heard he had been writing for the best of the best since. This earned you your title, Lucky Kentucky. A bit on the nose for your taste, but it made perfect sense. You kept following the music, you went to a band in L.A., the day you left, they signed a record deal with Sony. The next was a little English girl and her backing band, her first tour of England with you landed her a tour of the US faster than they could say ‘Burbon.’

You are what is known in the music business as a road manager, so far as you could tell, this was the job you were born to do. You made schedules, you supplied booze and other artifacts, you got hotels, paid off paparazzi, packed busses, and shoved half out of their mind rock stars on to stages in more countries than you could count, you couldn’t imagine any better life. You were the best of the best, you were who the record company called when everyone else had given up. You were a fixer, and an incredibly talented one at that. You had a gift for taking a mediocre side show band, and turning them into headliners.

So when you got the call from Tony and Pepper that you had to fix The Howling Comandos, you were shocked. They were big time, nothing like your usual fixer upper opener that you could make insta stars. They certainly weren’t your crowd, but you always had a problem saying no to Pepper, Tony’s company manager. Tony was a talented mixer, and a gifted album technician. So when he started his own label, it blew up pretty quickly. The comandos were the first band he signed. They had won Album of the Year their first Grammy season without even batting an eyelash. So once business started booming, Pepper took over the paper work, and Tony did what he did best, Fucking around with a mixing board. You had met them when you started working with Natasha and the Widows, a Blondie style punk outfit. They had a pension for eating men alive. Eventually, it got in the way of their success, so you stepped in and saved the band from total destruction. You and the starks had been thick as theives since.

“Tony, you mean to tell me, that the Commandos, the biggest artists of the decade, need my help?” You scoffed down the line, checking the Widows out of the last hotel of their tour with Greta Van Fleet.

“Yes Bluegrass, I do. Barnes is going through some existential heart break shit ‘cause ole bitch called of the wedding, and fucked the Guitarist of their opener. He’s been all drugs, booze, and sappy shit since, and someone’s gotta get the mother fucker back on stage. I’m Loosing money here Kentucky, something’s gotta give.” Tony sounded livid, there were very few times where Tony was as frazzled as this, so you knew it was serious.

“Alright, but I have conditions.” You sighed, you thought you could hear the sound of Pepper weeping tears of joy, but you couldn’t be sure. “I want the Widows to open, I’m not done with them yet Stark they’ve got some potential that still needs to be tapped. I want Frankie on security, I want Wanda for wardrobe and makeup, I want Vision for my techie, and I’m taking Peter as my Head roadie.” It was a big ask, but if you were doing this, you were gonna need the best possible team.

“Jeez woman, rob the treasure chest would yah? You want all of them? You just asked me for the entire roster. They’re on other tours! I can’t just- HEY! Woman don’t you-“ you heard a slap and an ow, and suddenly you were with the one and only Pepper Potts- Stark.

“Kentucky? You have a deal. You can have the Allstars in three months, everyone’s tours should be wrapping up, that puts you just in time for festival season. You up to it?” Pepper sounded like someone had just kicked her puppy. So you knew, you were the only one that could save the day.

“Virginia? Count me in. Give me the three months to plan and connect with the team and I’ll make sure James Barnes makes it onto that bus.” You could practically taste her relief through the receiver. What had you just signed up for.

————————————————————————

You’d done it. Six months, 7 bus rentals, 75 hotels, 107 plane rides, 20 festivals, 95 shows, 89 cities, and roughly 200 people later, you had managed to construct the American leg of one of the biggest and longest tours you had ever seen. All it took was two months, and 23 bottles of Jack Daniels, and you had done it. Now all you had to do was meet the band, and have your first tour meeting.

You had never been so nervous to meet a group of men in your life. Normally, these meetings we’re pretty laid back and informal. Lots of getting to know you, and goofing off. This time, you were in charge of a multi-million dollar tour that could make or break the band of the decades d ruin your career. No pressure. Needless to say, you were fairly nervous.

You were relieved upon arrival that the first people to make it in were the people who seemed to be the most reliable. Vision and Wanda were quietly whispering  to eachother in the corner as always, their hands gently intertwined as they surveyed the rest of their new subjects. Frankie was standing off in another corner looking like an immovable brick wall. His sunglasses firmly in place on his nose, looking scary as always. Peter was off with the widows flirting with their drummer. You didn’t think it would end well, seeing as MJ was a bit of a hot head, and Peter was akward and nerdy, but to your surprise, they seemed to be getting along swimmingly. Natasha and Carol were staring at a book full of something, if you had to guess, it would be song lyrics of some variety, and to your shock and absolute awe, Peggy had saddled up to Steve Rogers. Steve was the guitarist of the Commandos, and he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her company. Tony and Pepper were chatting with Clint and Sam the drummer and bassist of the Commandos, and Bruce Banner, your newly appointed second hand. James Barnes was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, well, good to see that most of you have arrived early!” You smirked walking to the head of the table with your big box of tour folders, Peter moving instantly to help you. “If I have not yet made your acquaintance, I am Kentucky, just Kentucky, you may call me Bluegrass or Lucky, but I will always prefer Kentucky. It has come to my immediate attention, that you sorry suckers were in need of a fantastic road manager, and here I am.” You survey the room as you spoke taking into account every face that you could see in the room and making sure everyone was following. “Now, where is James?”

————Some unnamed bar across town ————

Bucky’s head pounded. Wether it was from the booze or the pounding music he had no clue, but he could tell that it was far too early to be in this booth.

“You really went for it last night Barnes,” Bucky looks for the source of the voice to find that, Luke Cage, owner of the best bar in LA, was unloading boxes of tequila into his storage cabinets under the bar. “You shouldn’t have either, you’re late for your tour meeting.”

Bucky absorbed the information, and felt it melt out of his brain as if it were nothing more than an irritating ear worm. “How do you know about that?” He sighed running a hand down his face and slowly standing to grab his leather jacket.

“It’s sharpied onto your arm,” Luke chuckled pointing to Bucky’s right arm in just about the only clean space someone could fine. “Steve came in and did it last night before giving about a hundred dollars to let you sleep it off in that booth.”

“Of course he did,” Bucky scoffed, “the punk never knew when to leave well enough alone.” Bucky quickly slipped his sunglasses over his aching eyes, as he watched Luke slide a cup of coffee across the bar. “Goodbye Luke, your bar is the only thing I’m gonna miss about this town.”

“Goodbye Bucky, the free live music, and the fantastic tips are all I’m going to miss about you boys. I’ll tell Jess you said hello.” And with that final fond farewell, Bucky left Luke’s bar for the last time before he was trapped in a tour bus for six months.

The drive to Stark Records was as second nature to him as tying his shoes. He easily glided in between cars, making record time to his place of employment. He parked his bike next to a slot that occupied the sweetest little red corvette he’s seen in a good while. The tune in the reference catches his brain and he starts to whistle the chorus, wishing the artist formerly known as Prince was still around. He walked past Sharon, the desk clerk, giving her his customary wink and a smirk, stealing a sucker out of her candy dish and wandering into the meeting.

That’s when he saw her, the hottest piece of ass this side of the sunset strip. She looked powerful, she looked commanding, she was covered in tattoos and wearing the best looking little black number. She was saying his name. “Where is James?”

“Right here sweet thing, I hope I’m not too late to the party, I’d hate to miss anything that came out of that pretty little mouth.” Boy was it pretty, the full lips covered in a red shade that he could only seem to imagine smeared all over her moth as she panted his name.

“Ah, yes there he is. Hello, James. Just in time to-”

“James is my dad sugar, I’m sure we can think of something a little more clever for you to-”

“Alright then Junior if you don’t mind, I’m trying to conduct a meeting, and I will not be letting a drunken moron interupt my carefully planned work flow.”

Bucky’s jaw snapped shut as the people around him, some friends and some strangers, laughed at the clever lady’s little barb.

“Alright then, as I was saying, I’m here to help. I believe in the Peter Grant method of representation. The you-have-a-venue-you-want-it-filled-I-have-just-the-band-sixty-forty method.” She said, flipping her hair into a simple bun on the top of her head, which Bucky couldn’t find more attractive if he tried, “I have made hotel arrangements for every show, I have made bus arrangements, I have planned for added shows, and delayed dates. I have brought you the best opener I have, the best artists, roadies, security, and technicians I could scrape together, and most importantly, I have given you my time and my trust. I can make your touring life as easy and as simple as humanly possible, or I could ruin it. However, all I want is to get you out there, grinding again, reminding your fans the reason they love you. All you have to do, is let me work, and focus on the music. Can we do that?”

“Doll? I like the way you think.”

“Junior? It’s gonna be a long fucking six months.”

[our-flag-means-love]

earlier this year i made this playlist with the target audience of Specifically Myself, comprised of s1's story and some s2 predictions, but as you may have noticed, s2 has since come out. as such, i think it's time for:

Ed x Stede, as told by The Killers (SEASON 2 UPDATE)

19 songs, 76 minutes in total.

(also on youtube, if you don't use spotify or aren't able to listen in order, which is the recommended way of consuming it)

in addition to adding new songs, i'm also going to be revising my explanations throughout the whole playlist, so even if you read the s1 post, there will be some new stuff to enjoy too!

explanation and lyric highlights for each song can be found under the cut. last time i tried to keep things concise but this time all bets are off. a full paragraph per song.

also! i recognize that an hour and 16 minutes is quite the time investment to ask of anyone, so here is my recommendation for abridged listening, the songs for which i think listening to the whole thing really does enhance the experience: #5, #7, #10, #14, #18, #19, clocking in at 24 minutes. and if you're going to listen to ONE SONG, make it #14.

(lyrics are mostly taken from genius but a few parts are just what i know to be true in my heart if i think genius is wrong)

1. boy

this can be read as either an ed childhood song or a stede childhood song, or both. feeling awkward in your own skin, feeling confined to your hometown and unable to reach your full potential. things i definitely think both of them felt as they grew up.

these streets / weren't meant to house / jet-fueled engine dreams

2. When You Were Young

BANGER ALERT!!! this song is for sure about ed's childhood and religious trauma because i mean come ON.

you sit there in your heartache / waiting on some beautiful boy to / to save you from your old ways

he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentleman / like you imagined when you were young

3. I Can't Stay

my apologies for jumping straight from the arguably best song on this playlist to the definitely worst song on this playlist. but it had to be done, because this one's about stede leaving mary.

in the dark / for a while now /[...]/ i can't stay / much longer / riding my decision home

4. The Man

this one's about Blackbeard™. despite the title, this is the "myth" and "legend" part of the phrase "the man, the myth, the legend." tall, broad, head made of smoke, nine guns, etc. the terror of the seven seas.

don't try to teach me / i got nothing to learn / 'cause baby i'm gifted

i got skin in the game / i don't feel no pain / i got news for you baby, you're looking at the man

5. Flesh And Bone

another BANGER ALERT!!! and remember how i brought up "the man, the myth, the legend"? well, this is the "man" part, because as it turns out, ed is an actual person too. one who's aging and growing tired of piracy.

but i'm not sure how / this natural selection / picked me out to be / a dark horse running in a fantasy

what are you afraid of? / and what are you made of? / flesh and bone / and i'm running out of time

6. Tidal Wave

they! are! in! love! for the first verse the pronouns could be read either way, but then for the second verse "he" is stede and "she" is ed (you'll see why) bc damnit i'm taking this song from the hets, it's mine now.

you say this life has given you nothing / you got another thing coming

now the story of / forbidden love / has gotta make a stand

7. Andy, You're A Star

on a surface level reading, this song is about high school sports. but if you dig a bit deeper, the izzy can be found. in this song, the narrator greatly admires andy and his skills, but uh oh! andy is prioritizing love over fame and success! this simply will not do!

in a car with a girl / promise me she's not your world / 'cause andy, you're a star / in nobody's eyes but mine

8. Mr. Brightside

is this song overplayed? hell yes! is it also the best song to illustrate stede's feelings about ed and calico jack! you bet your ass it is!

jealousy / turning saints into the sea / swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis

9. Neon Tiger

the law has finally caught up with stede, but ed is determined to protect him from chauncey's wrath at all costs. gonna be honest, this song might be the weakest fit on this whole list. so sue me, idk.

you're far too pure and bold / to suffer the strain of the hand and its hold

run neon tiger / there's a price on your head / they'll hunt you down and gut you / i'll never let 'em touch you

10. Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf

once again, BANGER ALERT!!! who's jennifer? we only know stede bonnet. and ed misses him. he's drinking and depressed in his blanket fort and ready to snap with enough prodding (from izzy, obvs). for the last 10-ish seconds, i want you to picture ed's smile right before he pushes lucius overboard.

before you say goodbye / leave the bourbon on the shelf / and i'll drink it by myself / and i love you endlessly / darling, don't you see? / i'm not satisfied / until i hold you tight

11. Everything Will Be Alright

stede is determined to find ed and do whatever it takes to get to him. he's not ready to believe that they're over. they're just on a break.

i'm coming to find you / if it takes me all night / wrong until / you make it right

you don't need to compromise / i'm dreaming 'bout those dreamy eyes

12. The Rising Tide

in my s1 playlist i referred to this as an angry ed breakup song, but upon further examination, i really think ed is the person the song is about rather than the narrator (although tbh, imagining both the "i"s and the "you"s as ed works solidly well). this song represents his mental health spiral.

before life and the dream collide / 'cause the truth's gonna come and cut me open wide

and the company you keep / well they plan your crucifixion as we speak

13. Rut

now ed's in the gravy basket. part of him wants to give up, but the rest wants to keep fighting, he's just not sure how. this song—particularly the ending, the desperation in the repeated "don't you give up on me"s—is also ed's pov of the eventual reunion.

i've done my best defending / but the punches are starting to land / i'm sliding into something you won't understand

but don't give up on me / 'cause i'm just in a rut / i'm climbing but the walls keep stacking up

14. My List

this and #18 are the songs i couldn't make work on the s1 playlist that i'm so glad i got to include this time. god i love this one so much and it's so perfect for stede's pov of the reunion. the quiet lamentation in the first half. the desperation in the second half. top tier shit. it's so perfectly stede in that scene. move over, kate bush.

and when you come back in from nowhere / do you ever think of me?

when your heart / is not able / and your prayers / they're not fables /[...]/ let me show you how much i care

15. Have All The Songs Been Written?

now the boys need to talk, and maybe stede has some apologizing to do. he knows how much he hurt ed, and he wants to make amends. he wants to win him back over if at all possible.

have all the songs been written? / have all your needs been met? / have all these years been worth it / or am i the great regret?

i just need one more to get through to you / i can't take back what i've done wrong

16. For Reasons Unknown

this is around s2e5. they're on good terms but still insecure, still warming back up to each other, and still taking things slow. full disclosure: i let myself add this song because i was sad about having to cut "bones" and this one i could make fit better.

with one deep breath / and one big step / i move a little bit closer

and my lips / they don't kiss / they don't kiss the way they used to / and my eyes don't recognize you no more

17. Be Still

i wanted to use "bones" for when they fuck. i really really did. but it just didn't fit the tone. stede just killed someone intentionally for the first time, and he's still running on all those complicated emotions as he and ed have some of the sweetest and most awkward sex ever imagined by man.

don't break character / you've got a lot of heart / is this real or just a dream?

when you come back / tell me, what did you see? / was there something out there for me?

18. A Matter Of Time

UNDERRATED DEEP CUT ALERT!!! as mentioned in #14, i'm psyched to include this song. this is their s2e7 breakup. the drama, the conflict. stede laughing with his girlfriends, so to speak, as ed sits in his own emotions. two people trying and failing to make it work.

i see you / laughing with your girlfriends / not a care in the world / not a burden on your mind / it was a matter of time

can't you see that it's tearing me up inside? / look what's laying at our feet / that's the wreckage of broken dreams

19. All These Things That I've Done

one final time, with conviction: BANGER ALERT!!! ed has to come to terms with himself. he must accept the parts of him that can kill and the parts of him that can love in equal measure. it's the only way for him to find peace, and to hold on long enough to retire with stede.

these changes ain't changing me / the cold-hearted boy i used to be

while everyone's lost / the battle is won / with all these things that i've done

if you've stuck around with me for this long, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! hopefully either your brain was already as rotted by this band as mine is or i've indoctrinated you by now. i'm also in the (slow, very very slow) process of making a video edit set to "all these things that i've done" and i'll update this post with the link when (if) that's eventually done!