#my brain and my me are separate yknow??

[moonfurthetemmie]

so i'm playing World of Warcraft again, for the first time in ages, and apparently in Dreanor there's??? A big mushroom area??? And people who wander in get infected by the spores and attack those who aren't infected?

one of them mentioned bringing me to 'the heart'

I'm still doing the side questline for the area but like. it's the same thing that's happening in Untitled.MP4 down to the goddam color scheme

i have no memory of this place. why is it so similar. i'm so confused

[foreverxdaydreaming]

hello hello guess who's still alive 👀

feels weird to be away from tumblr sm bc this place has always felt like & always will be like home away from home

[cassandralexxx]

:( this year the year year and the Catholic year are falling on the same days as it did in 2018

It’s going to be the sixth year anniversary and the first time the days coincide again the way it did that awful day

[syscest]

Plural Hotline call! I do still consider myself a singlet, and will probably continue that But! I can definitely see someone else in the same situation calling themself plural. I am only ever exactly one guy at a time, but I do shift fairly regularly between a bunch of different guys in a way that is sometimes, but not always, discontinuous. It's based on who I'm with/the general situation I'm in/what clothes I'm wearing/etc. It's only ever one guy at a time, and the other guys don't exist when they're not me, they're not like in the backseat of my brain, they fully don't exist. I definitely feel like realizing that I am multiple separate guys has been very helpful to me, but I think promoting the ability to be multiple guys At Once would probably be more effort than it's worth, for the benefits I would get out of it? But I guess maybe it could be helpful enough to be worth it? Idk

look there's nothing wrong with being guy-fluid but yknow if it's productive to identify the selves you cycle through as their own people, even if they don't exist at the same time, that's still a plurality to me. even if it's completely linear and you're never the same person twice, I still feel like you'd meaningfully benefit from engaging with other systems, like and unlike you, and applying plural advice to your personal circumstance if you find anything useful.

[asherashedwings]

FNF CONNECTED UNIVERSE LINE UP Part 1: The Boyfriends

Chat. I spent 34 hours in this canvas. I am so tired.

Anyways, when I began working on Connected Universe AU, I already knew I'd be making line ups. Cuz I love making line ups and I also love suffering.

Close-ups and lots of yapping under the cut

THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A LOT OF READING IM SO SORRY-

Alternate Universe Boyfriends

So all these guys, unlike the other BFs present on this line up, are actually BF but from different universes. They're the same dude.

I thought it'd be neat to display the fact that they're from different universes by drawing them all in different art styles. It was also a fun exercise to test my art style range.

So starting from the left, we got Base Game BF. The main universe one. He's drawn in my usual art style. Not much special about him. Boyfriend.XML my beloved. I will note here though that I did take some of the elements form my own BF design and threw them onto the AU BFs. So that's why they all have some sort of jacket/hoodie etc.

Then we got Yourself. I reverted to old tactics and used my sketch for his line art, which results in him having thicker line art in general. I also further distinguished him by giving him harsh black shading. He always has that. He already had it on his face, so I just gave it to the rest of his body too. Cuz silly. You. You could even say. Silly Billy- 💥💥💥

Then we have Funkadelix. Him and a few other BFs make use of the Blackburn brush for their line art, cuz idk I like that brush. I referenced the Mutant Mayhem style when making him, since in the Connected Universe, he's in the same universe as those turtles. His colors are mostly yoinked from the actual Funkadelix sprite. I think. I may have tweaked them a bit/eyeballed them idk. I prolly eyeballed them.

Then we got Monday Dusk Monolith (MDM). I really went with the mentality of "NO ROUND SHAPES" with this fucker. Just wanted him to look super sharp and scratchy, since that AU is literally dealing with an apocalypse. So sharp shapes just made sense in my brain.

I had a lot of issues settling on a style for Mix, so I just chose to take inspiration from the FNF loading screens, cuz it just fit in my brain, idk. His design also features present in my Pico design, like the stupid cleat shoes and stray hair lines. Yknow, since he's literally a mix of BF and Pico. He also uses Blackburn

Finally, HD. I decided to try and go for a semi realistic style for him, proportion wise at least. Cuz. Yknow. HD. He also uses the blackburn brush, but I also pulled an old tactic for him and made his sketch visible over his coloring. Cuz idk, I think it lends towards the vibe.

"Side" BFs

Okay, now we're REALLY getting into AU territory.

So from here on out, all the BFs are separate people from THE BF, and have their own names and shit.

So staring off, we got Blake. I was reading through his wiki trivia and saw them say his style was more "radical and funky" than base BF's. I saw the word funky and ran with it dawg. So that explains this clothes. I also tried my darndest to get rid of a lot of the BFs caps, cuz dude, I can't have that many fuckers having cubic backwards caps. So I gave Blake a pair of star shaped sunglasses cuz funky, chat, FUNKY. We decided that his stage name is Love Bird, and he chose that cuz that's a pet name his GF has for him, and if he had a band it'd be called The Birds of Paradise.

Then we got .XML. I immediately knew I wanted to give him a mullet. Look at this man and tell me he wouldn't have a mullet. Besides that, not much changed. Since he kept the name of .XML, I imagine he is actually related to BF in some way, and he just goes by his last name. They might be cousins or brothers or something idk. There's also more dumbass info on him here:

Then there's River, or G-Sides BF. I took a lot of inspiration from his teaser designs, cuz they were silly. Literally named his river after the dumbass river design on his sweater. I don't got much info on him besides that. I can't talk about River without including this image so here:

The New Yorkers

This group is literally named after the fact that they all live in NY in my AU. Technically, the Minus BFs should also be here, but they're their own group.

Starting with Bartholomew, or B3, I just took the shape of his glasses and ran with it. Chat I needed to get that shape language from somewhere. I actually drew him twice, since the first time around I really was not digging how I drew him. He's fine now tho. His ass only got brim, cuz he had to be different somehow. Other than that. not much changed for him.

Now Evan.. Evan gave me so many issues. Like, dawg I drew him three times. I kept on trying to make the orange in his upcoming design WORK but I just COULDNT chat i COULDNT

So, per @braveboiart 's request, I ended up getting rid of it entirely and replacing it with his blues and grays. They also gave me the advice of brightening the colors a bit, which was very easy for me to do, I love bright ass colors. I also touched up his design shape wise, since that was also lacking the first time around. So boom, zippers on the pants and baggy ass sleeves. I'm content with how he came out. Chat I did all his design touch ups while I was exhausted out of my mind. Sometimes you gotta be delirious with sleep deprivation in order to cook, kids, trust me (please do not be like me-)

Benjamin was pretty simple. Kept him soft, kept him round, kept him pastel. Got rid of the caution sign on his hoodie since .XML already had that, and just replaced it with paint splatters. Not much more to say.

With X's design, I got a lot of help from my good good friend @minxtheeenby , mainly when figuring out his hair style. Those braids are not actually his hair, and are fuckass cords that connect to his headphones and can move independently. Don't ask about the logic, I will not be thinking about it. He was born in Philly cuz of his fuckass white eyes. White eyes means Philly, I don't make the rules here.

Minus BFs

The colorful critters, these guys are.

So. Beta. I had actually drawn him before this point, and he didn't change much from then

He has arrow shaped top surgery scars cuz I love giving constantly shirtless characters top scars and I just. HAD TO once I had the idea to make them arrow shaped. Main things to change since that drawing are some details on his pants and some of his colors; notedly the fact that his hat is a darker color compared to his skin to further distinguish it. Also Brave kept trying to get me to make parts of his design the same color as his nipples. So that happened /lh

Chat. I let my furry show with Blue. BUT CHAT HEAR ME OUT. On the wiki it's stated that he's a "Dog??". You think I could look at that and not go all the way? So yeah. Dog. He's silly and he got his weird ear ring things from his sister (Minus Miku).

Not much to say on Mean, he barely changed. I just drew him in my style and added a few details. He might also be an alien, idk.

Now, I posted about Golden a bit, but for those who didn't see that insanity: I made him an Alien Hominid. Cuz small yellow alien=Alien Hominid in my brain. Flawless logic. (Don't worry chat, I sat down and extensively researched the AH series to the best of my ability to check if it made sense. And I didn't see anything that would make it not make sense?) But yeah, silly. Him and Otis might be buddies, cuz goofy.

Who Fuckin Knows

These guys are just all the guys I had nowhere else to put. Miscellaneous group.

So first we have Bonnie, or Saturday Night Swappin' BF. He's another one that I had to go back and touch up. I actually touched him up the same night/morning as Evan. He ended up turning purple. The name we assigned him was an omen /j Chat I swear he was originally blue, I don't know what happened

HC that he just got really into FNaF when he was younger and has just been cosplaying a humanized Bonnie the Bunny ever since /hj

BIDU GAVE ME SO MANY ISSUES AND IDK WHY. It's prolly cuz by the time I got to him I was getting SUPER burnt. But I prospered and was able to finish him. And I don't hate how he came out, so bonus points there. Main change was replacing the prohibition sign on his shirt with a lightning bolt, cuz no one but BF is allowed to have that symbol, and Bidu already had lightning bolt imagery, so eh why not. His eyebrows being green, at least in my style, implies his hair is naturally green, and he just added the blue and pink, and I find that slightly humorous, idk.

Keith (StarCatcher) was another one I had to go back and touch up, but that's due to the fact that I was informed that him and his GF got a redesign before the creator deleted their FNF stuff. So I had to go back and fix my design according to that. I also leaned into the scape suit direction cuz SHAPE.

Now, you might be wondering, why is Flippin BF here and not with the other alternates? He was grouped with him in a previous post? Well, that's because after more assessment, I decided that Friday Night Flippin' is in fact, in the same universe as Base FNF and not an alternate universe like I had previously decided. So I changed his design a bit (mainly just getting rid of his hat and changing the color of his shoes) and boom. Different guy. He is staying pixel art tho. I do still need to come up with a different name for him tho.

Now this next one, Heath, is not from a currently existing mod, but from an FNF AU my friend Minx is making.

I decided to include him cuz he's silly and I love him. Their AU is canon to the Connected Universe.

Okay, so Cam (Hellbeats BF) changed A LOT. I let my furry slip out again. BUT I HAVE ANOTHER REASON FOR IT. See, in this connected universe, it's not just Newgrounds stuff that is canon. I also made other fandoms I'm in canon. So that means the Hellaverse is canon (specifically my rewritten version of it), and Hellbeats has to fit in with that. So I had to assign the characters species from that universe as well. So I made Cam a cherub, cuz I wanted him to stay short as fuck. He's also a raccoon cuz he's a lil shit and I thought it'd fit If ur curious, this is what everyone else is:

Okay I'm done yapping now. Gonna be doing the GFs next.

[rayclubs]

This is extremely interesting, thank you so much for this addition!

have you talked about which of the mercs you think are most likely to know another language, and which? (some are. more obvious than others but lol)

Ooh, haven't talked about this, let's go!

Scout:

We do know from the comics that he is either dyslexis or illiterate and has trouble reading, and I don't think he would be particularly interested in learning another language.

I do know people headcanon him speaking French but I just don't see it. "Whaddya mean words have gendah? No the fuck they don't" - Scout, probably.

Learned Spanish at school, can say "Hello, my name is Jeremy, my Spanish is very bad!" but that's it.

Soldier:

Very likely knows a moderate amount of Polish. Taught Medic to say "kurwa".

Not interested in learning languages but I think foreign words just stick to him, he has tge easiest time picking them up

Pyro:

Definitely knows ASL like a champ. Tries to teach the mercs, too, with varying degrees of success.

Doesn't learn any new languages but constantly asks people what things are called in their native languages. Remembers about a third of the words he's given. Still worth it.

Demoman:

He could MASTER Russian phonetics but instead he's learning Klingon like the fucking nerd he is. I love him so much.

Probably speaks Gaelic also. I dunno, I don't know enough about Scotland unfortunately, even his speech patterns are hard for me

Heavy:

Fluent in French.

Starts out with zero knowledge of German but is very persistent and goes to great extents to learn it.

His English is piss but he probably had like. A two-week long express course before they shipped him to America. Jeebus Crust.

Engineer:

Picked up some Russian from Heavy, some German from Medic, some ASL from Pyro, some French from Spy. At some point even started saying "kurwa" in that Texan accent of his.

Probably decent in Spanish, too, cause why not.

Medic:

Fluent in Latin.

Knows like a dozen Russian words and none of them are PG-13.

Sniper:

I dunno. He reads upside down. He knows bird calls and stuff. Does that count? Morse code also.

NZSL.

Spy:

Oh, I'm gonna musspell this but. Here goes. Quebecois.

Says he can lip-read but actually can't.

Overpronounces every foreign dish name in restaurants like the pretentious bastard he is.

"Qruasön" I dunno.

Probably forgot something. Cheers!

[bipolar-sad-and-ready-to-cry]

The other AU I made while inactive is a zombie apocalypse AU

Basically, Ruin made a zombie virus, he infected one of the Bloodmoon twins with the virus and made the other immune and let them loose on to the world therefore causing the apocalypse, the virus can infect humans and animatronics

Sun and new Moon got separated from the rest of the family during the panic of the first day of the apocalypse, Sun got bit on his leg by Foxy who was infected so Sun had to get the area removed and now he wears a prosthetic leg. Sun is currently also half blind from a fight with new Moon, Sun wants to find the rest of his family.

New Moon, who will eventually become Nexus, is mainly focused on creating a cure and keeping Sun safe in the bunker, he doesn’t want to lose Sun, the only confirmed still alive family member he has left. He lost his temper and damaged Sun, he didn’t mean too. But now he is all alone because Sun ran away after he hurt him.

Bloodmoon is slightly calmer now, the immune twin (which I have started calling Immunity in my head) keeps giving the infected twin (who I’ve started calling Infection in my head) bits of the code that makes him immune just to keep their mind all there, with out Immunity doing this, Infection would be hyper aggressive to even Immunity. Immunity and Infection encounter Sun and decide to follow him around because someone they know being around helps them somehow.

The rest of the family is in a space station and Lunar is in a forced coma because he got bit by Bloodmoon at some point, the rest of the family is trying to find Sun and new Moon but is having issues with locating them.

I haven’t drawn many designs yet (depression yknow) but here, I’ve drawn two drawings of Sun and Bloodmoon

I need to draw more when my brain will let me

[thecircularsystem]

Recovery and Syscourse Thoughts

I thought I would toss my hat into the ring briefly in the latest discussions about recovery from CDDs, since everyone and their uneducated brother have been spamming screenshots and sources left and right, and almost all of them have ignored the fact that the DSM and scientific (or otherwise) sources are not the people going through this disorder.

So let’s drop this take into the mix: there is no one set way to heal or recover, and everyone should work to find their best method of recovery and what works best for them.

I am a person working on recovery with DID. I phrase it that way specifically because I don’t want to stop having DID. I… actually really like having my system, and being multiple parts. My partner loves it too. They actually are overjoyed when I split — sad that I’m that stressed, of course, and so, so caring and gentle with me when I reach that point — but thrilled that they get to meet another part of me, a part so vivid and developed.

Isn’t it beautiful that I can see that love so brightly?

Anyways. Back on topic, I am recovering with DID. I am utilizing EMDR (though it’s been some time since we did a session) and I attend therapy weekly. I have grown far more integrated, and this past week, we’ve been so soupy that it’s hard to tell who’s fronting, and it hasn’t caused distress. It’s been nice to just be a collection of parts all at the same time, instead of split apart.

But wait. Isn’t that functional multiplicity? I mean, I just said I’m not distressed, and we’re all working together.

But wait. Isn’t that final fusion? All of us together, instead of split apart?

But wait.

How the fuck am I defining it?

Cause doesn’t that matter so much more??? There isn’t a set definition of what FM/FF are, guys. There isn’t this Ideal Recovery that so many people seem to post about. I’ll reach functional multiplicity when I say I do, and my FM will look different than others, and could look like FF too, because FF isn’t “okay now you’re a singlet.” If anything, the FF systems I’ve met have discussed how they feel MORE plural now.

FF/FM isn’t a dichotomy that can only exist separately, and they aren’t even the only ways to heal. For instance, am I not in recovery right now? Am I not actively healing? I might still be disordered, but isn’t it possible to be disordered and functional? Isn’t it possible to heal WITH DID? (The answer is yes; even FM/FF do not erase the fact that I have a rewired brain with new mental pathways. I could become nondisordered, that IS a thing, thought it took years to convince me it was. The fact is, it’s up to the individual.)

And my recovery is going to look entirely different than the recovery of my friends. For instance, I know many of my friends have reached final fusion, and one of them said they split frequently still. But for me, I split maybe once a year at the current moment, max three times a year. It's been a little messy, and confusing, but that seems to be the case. But if you're final fused, shouldn't you not be splitting???

NO YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, FUCK THE RULES!

If that person says they are doing better and feeling fine, then that's what matters. And the fact is, regardless of what a DSM or source you provide says, that's what any therapist worth their salt is going to say as well. If you aren't distressed, then you're good.

The same thing does for anything system related.

Preference of how to refer to your alters/parts/headmates/people in your head/fuckers in your head/those assholes up there who bother you constantly? More power to you! You can call them whatever you want!

Littlecourse and how your littles engage in healing? Woohoo, do whatever makes you the most happy and does the least amount of harm -- or, yknow, harm yourself! That's part of learning too, and people trying to take away the dignity of risk from systems because "but-but think of the children" can go suck a dick. So long as the person is doing what they think they should be doing, why is it my problem?

The only time these things become my problem is when they impact me. And, remarkably, what someone else does with their system does not impact me.

I think so much of syscourse needs to learn to mind their own business when it comes to other people's recovery. What someone calls their parts or origins or recovery does not matter and does not impact me in the slightest. What someone else does on their own time is of no consequence to me. The only thing I see in syscourse that does actually impact me is misinformation about my disorder, which impacts me because it makes our parts who struggle with denial latch onto that...

WHICH IS A ME PROBLEM.

Sure, I correct the misinfo, because that helps me, but that's still a me problem, something I need to work on for me.

I used to be gung-ho about fighting against endogenic systems, and one of the reasons for that was because I had parts who clung to the idea that we might be endogenic. The existence of endogenic systems helping my parts deny that we had trauma does not suddenly mean endos shouldn't exist. It means I need to work on my trauma denial.

This post has been a HUGE ramble, and I'm sorry about that -- there's so many thoughts I Have about recent syscourse, and I usually can squeeze in about 30 minutes of free time to write.

I want to post more about this soon, but to summarize some ideas:

Let people recover however they please.

If someone is recovering in a way you don't like, then look away.

If someone is spreading misinformation, correct them, but like... buddy, do it gently, no need to get all butthurt, relaaaaax

If someone continues to spread misinformation after you've corrected them, more power to you, my guy, do what you gotta do to correct that shit for others if you want to do that

It is exactly Nobody's Job to do steps 3 or 4

And lastly; stop sucking [insert source you just googled]'s cock and talk to a system in real life for like. A half hour, at least. Just get to know how they view their system and what works/doesn't work for them. It might actually make you learn something.

[shroomyifiy]

Kinda late but episode 15 dropped

Hi guys, I just finished watching the episode :)

Spoilers for Chapter 2, Episode 15 Below!

I CALLED IT!!!

I fucking called it baby, wooo!! (rip Ace stans, it really was Aceover for you all)

Man, what a wild ride this has been. I will miss Ace, but man, he was great this episode, and this chapter as a whole. And if he was going to die, this was the perfect time to do so.

Alright, breakdown time!

How much stuff did Shroomy get right?

A surprising amount, actually! Tbf, it was all kinda obvious when looking at it, but still.

-Ace took the tape (I called it being grabbed possibly for first aid, and also murder attempt, although I said to kill Nico)

-Ace isn’t as stupid as everyone thought (Man, that one was personal. Intelligence is pretty subjective in all honesty, and I stand by the ‘no one is truly dumb’ in DRDT, everyone here is equally stupid /j)

-Ace figured the murder method out later (No but seriously, no one would know by looking around for ~5 minutes. Maybe Charles but he would be out of commission at the sight of blood so no)

-Ace tied Arei’s hands because he was able to fight back (Self explanatory; I did like how Teruko calls him out for having fought back, so he would know to tie her wrists)

-Ace was trying to frame Nico (This one was obvious, but it at least explains the fish)

-Ball of clothes to get rope up and broken lights (I didn’t figure out the slingshot, but otherwise was spot on. To the person who first figured it out, kudos for your massive brain)

-Ace being sneaky and eavesdropping (yeah 👍 we been knew this, but hey it was relevant)

I think that’s all I directly called out. This is not me bragging or anything, but I was cool seeing my thoughts come true (even if body placements were not relevant to the ace murder scene, rip)

Moving on to my favorite section~

Thematics and Parallels

God, yknow, I think this is just going to become my thing atp. What can I say? As a writer, I do love some silly themes and parallels

But anyways I was right about this!!! The Ace-Arei and Ace-Teruko parallels were not the ramblings of a crazy person! They meant something!!

Ace wanting to change, but not having the strength to do so is tragic. God he is so tragic, everyone is in this cast, it’s why I love them all.

I’ll probably end up making a whole separate post about the parallels after episode 16 drops, just for completion sake. I want to have all the cards available for that, yknow?

But man, Teruko being both sympathetic to Ace about his injury but also trying desperately to get him to defend himself is so sad. Like girl completely understands, they are besties your honor.

And by god the VAs blew it out of the park!!! Man, next week is going to be something, huh?

Back on topic

Look, I get a lot of people are sad to see Ace go, as they wanted to see him grow. Unfortunately, this is a death game, and people with amazing potential are always killed off.

In fact, it’s kinda a running trend in drdt (goes to show how good the writing is, even if you personally disagree with it)

Xander, who could have been an amazing support and leader to the group, defending justice and the innocent

Min, a smart girl who also could have been a good support character and grow to see more to life than just studying

Arei, who could have become good friends (girlfriends) with Eden, who could have become a better person like she wanted to

Ace, who could have grown to be more brave and make more connections, who could have survived despite all odds against him

It’s tragic that any of them had to die so soon. It’s tragic that none of them got to survive the killing game. It’s tragic any of them are here to start with.

But, someone has to die. It’s a death game after all, not everyone can survive. Some characters and potential arcs have to be sacrificed to tell the story you want to tell.

And isn’t it ironic that both the killers so far (Min and Ace) killed because of their fear of death?

Min, who came across Xander over Teruko’s body, was scared and panicked because she thought he would kill her too.

Ace, who no one liked and who was almost murdered, knowing that someone else would likely try again.

Min, who cried and denied it was her, even when caught red handed. Ace, who gave up after he was truly backed into a corner. Two people, pleading for their lives because, by god, they want to live.

It’s actually something so interesting about drdt, because MonoTV’s motives have nothing to do with it. Everyone is just scared of dying, which is really realistic for this situation. Of course more people are going to kill because they don’t want to die.

(wait did I just start making Min-Ace parallels? Oh goddammit)

Overall thoughts (for now anyways)

I loved this episode, it was basically the highlight of my horrible day. I’m excited to see where the story goes from here, and I cannot wait for the bonus episodes for Arei and Ace.

I know a lot of people were not as happy with the conclusion of the case, understandable if your favorite was Ace. But I do have to remind everyone to be respectful about writing choices drdtdev has made. You may not like it, but they know the story they want to tell more than any of us do. And oh boy, does this story seem like a good one.

This was kinda short, and less analytical, but guys I am actually really fucking tired. I’ve been up for way too long and got like, 2 hours of sleep.

Expect me to do another post soon. Idk when, but probably before next Friday.

I have so much I want to say because ahhhhh, I love this series!!!!

Feel free to leave your thoughts here as well!

Bye for now, have a wonderful day!

[trickstarbrave]

my buddy has a theory that the dwemer were just a house, and that latter understandings of them as godless heathens is propaganda from an old war. yknow, a group disappears and suddenly they cant defend themselves. telvanni and some imperial sources say 'house dwemer' and refer to the dwarfs as part of dunmer landed house society. i only care about morrowind so i dont know if this is contradicted later.

i think this isn't true. "house dwemer" is kind of to show they are integrated into the larger chimeri society. bc houses are like, large political powers made up of various clans. they're being given the same amount of legal and governmental power as any other chimer house. some of the dwemer have also defected from it to make their own society in hammerfell and others in skyrim seem to have had contact with the people in resdayn/morrowind but also did not have the same culture and were not governable under the same resdaynian laws

i think the dwemer were a race of people (though i agree with kirkbride that the biological measurable differences between races is fucking racist. i think its more so shared culture and some shared appearances based on ancestry like irl and game stats are just to show an average of what people in these cultures would focus on as skills and shit) you can separate from the chimer (and later dunmer) and the lore shit where theyre like "theyre too alien to possibly understanddddd" is actually out of lore shit from. kirkbride. lol.

i think it is really cool to have a hard science focused people who are super advanced in magic and other forms of STEM. i think its cool to have a group of hard atheists in a world where gods exist and exploring that. i think its cool to have a fantasy group whos brains work very different from ours and can do shit like divide by 0 and use infinity regularly in their calculations while understanding it fully. but i think going "theyre too alien to EVER possibly be understood by us!!!" is just a conversation ender. "well maybe they didnt even have marriage" they have kings and clans but no marriage? give me a fucking break "we cant say anything for certain about their culture or philosophy or beliefs!!!" fucking try hard then you fucking pussy. im going to crash the fuck out either explore these ideas or don't don't fucking tease at them and then act like its impossible to ever possibly explore these ever.

[tasty-littl-snack]

I was watching that new interview video with Steven Lim and he talks about starting watcher and how he asked Ryan to start a company with him for about a year but Ryan was very hesitant until one day he said sure but then asked to bring Shane like I’m not normal about this. Ryan could not part with partner in crime. 🥺

It's almost like they are a package deal and have a bond that can't be broken (all Ryan's words)

This is a great interview that really tells so much about Steven and his thinking. I think this is the most bts we got on how they came up with the idea to start their own company, aside from making watcher but that's more yknow calibrated for camera so they don't say everything. This podcast and TJ's podcast from last year with Shane as a guest really is more relaxed settings (both people they talk with are their friends so they are a bit more honest than the curated story of how it all came to be) and it going to rotate in my brain forever. It's really luck and circumstances and stars alligning that these people even met and then decided to take a risk like that together. (even more so from Shane's perspective who thought he got the internship at buzzfeed and then it turned out he didn't but he already moved to LA by that point. Like if this isn't fate then idk what is)

What strikes me is that it's Ryan asking if Shane can come along as if it wasn't obvious from the start, and Shane obviously thinking that it's a risk and being the last one to agree. From Steven's interview it seems like Ryan and Steven started working on it only the two of them and then Ryan asked if Shane can join them which changes the perspective of it all to me. For some reason I thought maybe it was Ryan's idea and he asked Shane first, so this changes a bit their dynamic to me because it really shows that Steven and Ryan are good friends who would take a risk like that and then there's of course Shane who Ryan can't imagine to not cowork with I guess. Idk.

This inteview is also good for the background of travel season preparation and how Steven also had to convince Adam and Andrew to come to Watcher which I find very fascinating in itself. But while he lasted a bit longer doing stuff without them Ryan and Shane simply could not be separated for that long and it really shows that they are not normal about each other. Much to think about.

[vertical-tacos]

H1 H1

S0 H0W 1S NOOB 4ND GUEST 1N TH3 AU?? 1 W4NN4 KN0WWWW TH3 DOOMED YAOII DX

they didnt actually know eachother as well as they did in canon- (the dynamic kinda came into being before i knew the lore and now its too rooted in my brain for me to rlly change it), but they (were) still very close, prior to ending up in this cursed hellhole.

so! time to drop their story :D (tw for unhappy parents & ig demonic summonings? Is that a tw? just in case- but, yknow, 666 is already a demonic creature aka imp / lower rank demon in the au so like what could i say bro)

When Noob was growing up, he had access to a lot of things. One of these was a REALLY ODD book that he found in the basement. One day, during another one of his parents' arguments, he snuck into the basement and read a bit of it. he stumbled across something called a "minion summoning ritual", which, at their age, just sounded like "summon a friend". And so, with a bunch of crayons and some sloppy handwriting, she managed to make a crappy summoning circle and the writing needed.

Completely unaware to the fact they might be summoning something lethal, but Noob got lucky. the one that ended up answering the summon was none other than Guest 666, who at the time was literally the same age as Noob- just a little imp who wanted to try out what they saw all the high-ranking demons do.

So Noob ended up with a friend. a little imp creature that took an instant liking to the games they liked to play. They bonded quickly, especially with all the time Noob usually had (cough cough parents issue from before).

When the two ended up being "Forsakened", They were separated. Everything that went through Noob's mind, as stated in his killer page, changed them for the worse. Something got twisted in their memories, as they no longer see Guest 666 as their former best friend, and instead some kind of enemy.

Guest 666 did not undergo the same memory distortion.

they remember

everything

that they once had

TLDR;; yeah i guess you could still call it doomed yaoi- personally I don't know if I'll ever do ships in the AU- but uh idk feel free to try and convince me with Noob and 666 if you want iouno

[sapphicrot]

Say, what kind of music do you listen to?

You’ve unlocked an unskippable cutscene, hehe

I listen to a lot of stuff!! Usually I get one song that itches my brain and I listen to it on repeat for like. two weeks and then my brain gets bored and finds another song. No joke I had one song on repeat for so long in 2023 it was my most played song with OVER 1400 REPLAYS. Yknow. Like a Normal Person.

But for a quick rundown:

Fav Artists: Poppy, Kittie, DeathByRomy, Fall Out Boy, Glass Animals, My Chemical Romance, Mother Mother, Snowmine, AJR, Kesha, and Wild Party

“The Six Albums That Changed Me As A Human Being”:

Take this to your Grave (Fall Out Boy)

How to be a Human Being (Glass Animals)

Eureka (Mother Mother)

Laminate Pet Animal (Snowmine)

The Click (AJR)

and most recently, Negative Spaces (Poppy)

A couple of my current fav songs:

LOL by Groundbreaking (this was the 1400 replays song because it is my Sig Song. It is my Blorbo Song. Do you understand.),

Deja Vu by Glass Animals

V.A.N by Bad Omens

Follow Me by GEN.KLOUD

Don’t Sweat the Technique by Eric. B & Rakim

and Little Kandi Raver by S3RL

GIANT ramble under the cut !!

Right now I’m really into metal/post hardcore/screamo whatever you wanna call it, basically if it has a woman screaming her heart out in it i want it. I’m specifically listening to women in the scene bc yknow. the rampant misogyny. so i wanna support them! Poppy is my current favorite artist!!

Other than that, I kinda tend to collect songs for Blorbo Playlists, so whatever fits them ends up on them. My Rain World playlist is a fucking MESS because I don’t separate it by AU or anything so it’s like. screamo song about being addicted to the internet. cutesy country love song. synth music. vocaloid song. mlp fansong. the vibes are all over the place ngl.

I also collect records!! This is most of my collection but I don’t have Am I a Girl or I Disagree in the pic, which I have now! The Mania and Negative Spaces ones are signed!

Uhhh. Aside from that I could ramble at LENGTH over why certain songs are on my playlist for rain world but i will spare you from THAT unskippable cutscene. as a little tidbit: latest song i added was your love (deja vu) by glass animals, and all imma say is it’s got something to do with pleading intellect in the rot au. tee hee :3

[intertexts]

omg you're right, i was totally meant to reply to that tag question during character design conversation but forgot (job decided to crumple me into a little ball with pre xmas extra hours so i turned my brain off ough), yes the tag is completely fine!! i feel so special waow ......

i experience a month max long the sims phase every year and i feel that annual event coming soon. i will make good use of it (last year i made arthur and emizel lmao)..... nhw house was victorian style right? or i got it mixed up? (architecture styles in the west are so abstract for me so i will surely use something like this for reference because most houses in my country are ugly asf lowkey and it made my sims building skills miserable) also my ideas about interior plan are based purely on abstract "how i imagined this while reading fics" but in my head vee's room is on the ground floor and ashe's is on second floor..... not sure about the rest yet hmm

ohhhh i am goign 2 talk ur EAR off about the nhw house now.....

it's like impossible to find photos for some reason & i don't wanna go looking for hours on google street view BUT. smth sort of like these? w/ the gabled roof & big windows & a kinda big messy front porch. it's light yellow or maybe white. but i think yellow is better........ i do not know much abt hte sims or if this knowledge is necessary but 2 me it also sits on like, a street corner so they don't have much of a front yard but they have a pretty big backyard. the only important inside things i think r that the kitchen is big and sunny and not. whats the word. open plan? it's a separate room from the living room. big huge comfy couch in the living room. i don'tttttttt. know how many rooms it has, (it's not Huge. it's not a Massive House but it's like, yknow, a normal sized suburban house) but since it was originally Just dakota & vee's house i think will kind of accidentally just. vaguely moved in with dakota eventually & finally he just. Leaves david's place forever. so he definitely has a room but it's a lot smaller, like, a converted office that's right next to dakota's room & already is made for a ton of computers & books & stuff....... idk where i'm going with this i'm just trying to work out room placements in my head. i don't. know if ashe has his own room actually? i just asked mac & whiskey we'll see if they get back to me. bc he still!!! lives at home with mark while he's a ward!! but he was doing so much crashing on their big comfy couch for sure..... & u literally have to take none of this to heart i'm just using this 2 think abt their house <333 ALSO they got back 2 me here are some. mostly related thoughts from hornfreakers.com <3

SO. ashe does in fact have a room & it has bright green little tiny accents and probably blackout curtains <3 there is ur answer. i think it being on the second floor is great because that is going to SUCK for him after he gets back from being trickstered & has awful chronic pain ^_^

[cyberdragoninfinity]

With your latest ask about the Dimension Swap AU, my brain is going into 'Brain Rot Mode' about it and now I gotta know Yugo's whole deal in it. The phrase "deeply unsocialized animal" is a string of words I've never heard before but will be using in my own character creations now. Yugo is clearly going through it when Rin beats his ass and has no idea what to do with that.

(I also want to know how Yuya's and Yuto's dynamic is in this AU. Yuya gives off the vibes of a frightened pitbull. Will rip your hand off if pushed, but really just wants to cuddle.)

TELL ME ABOUT IT WE'VE HAD THESE GUYS EATING OUR BRAINS SINCE MAY!!!

ok so i started talking about Yugo's Whole Deal but it was getting bigly long-winded so I had to make a separate post about him specifically--you can find that over HERE. my scary jock <3 he is indeed deeply unsocialized!! mind your fingers, this dog bites!!!

anyway re: yuto and yuya, hehe i wouldnt say yuya's like anything close to a pitbull he's more like. hm, if a soggy paper towel had the ability to occasionally and violently turn into a pipe bomb. he's a wet baby raccoon someone found in a storm drain. he was forced to eat cement when he was 6. etc etc. meanwhile standard!yuto is out here internalizing yusho's 'smile when you feel like crying' rhetoric in the form of keeping himself chivalrous and 'noble' at all times and never complaining so youve really got the push and pull of "extremely emotional all the time" and "keeping "cool" to a borderline harmful degree." (dont worry about yuto bottling up all his emotions im sure it's fine.) (im sure!!!)

xyz!yuya doesn't have many friends (and one of them ohhhh you know gave the ok for the invasion that blew up his home so. thats not great. 😬) so he kind of gloms onto Yuto's friend group (rin and gong) like his life depends on it. and i think early on his dynamic with Yuto is kind of shaky, but I was just talkin about this with zxal and there's definitely this element where Yuya's much more Heart on His Sleeve Emotions kind of helps get Yuto get back in touch with, yknow. Crying. Letting One's Self Embrace Negative Emotions. so it takes a bit but I like the idea that they eventually get more in sync and become actual friends (this in turn making up for Yuya traumadumping at Yuto and then immediately dying and getting soul-absorbed and then having about 14 panic attacks in Yuto's brain.)

(though by that point things are not helped by the fact there's a whole third other guy in the yuto mind palace (yuri) 🥴 but they'll work it out)

[sp1resong]

10 for plural ask game? :D

[ask game]

How did you discover your system? What was the process?

A lot of my friends were plural, and i developed a "scientific interest" in the idea, so basically i was cooked /silly. Um, at first i thought i couldn't be because try as i might i couldn't find any 'externals' (or beings separate from "me" in my brain). though my method was basically just opening the door to the dark room that is my brain and shouting "ANYONE THERE" and then waiting for a second so like, who knows actually.

still, i kept questioning - i think for a while it became an obsession, actually. But yknow how it is with my brain. always obsessing its compulsive disorder. however, eventually i found out about monoconscious and median systems and went "WAIT. WAIT. SHIT". see at the time i was already well aware that i had "identity issues", or rather a lack of any solid identity, but i never figured it could be plurality - i sort of felt like the opposite, actually. like the sum of all my parts was less than one person, let alone multiple. but, uh - i stopped looking for "externals" and started considering the possibility of "internals" - or, the idea that my conception of "me" might encompass several people, or facets, in a plural sort of way. And from there ... well. I experienced a bit of doubt for a bit, but really it was quite obvious. "yeah i use multiple names but i generally tend to prefer one at a time and they all have their own distinct Vibe and Personality attached" isn't exactly, uh. Normal Singlet Behavior lmao

...oh that got pretty long. pains of being your own special interest, i suppose?