#my bones are REFORMING im a new man
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mspaint-turtles · 1 year ago
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THE KING IS BACKKKKKK!!!!!
AH!!!!! HI ^-^!!! IM BACKKKK <3
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thesugarhole · 2 years ago
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actually still speaking of animations i noticed the sexiest one so far is barristan + crush because of the way he drags and swings back his mace. very appealing
and mentioning maces how come he and junia hold them so close to the base? is that good practice? id assume youd hold it closer to the tip for better swinging and hitting, using physics and whatnot. maybe since its idle posing theyre doing that to conserve strength; holding it closer to the tip would make it heavier. ill have to take a better look when they actually attack (though so far in my game junia only has the ranged mace attacks where she points it at random directions)
part of junias idling animation is her reading her bible and lowering the mace slightly and im like girl!! i know youre weaponizing those prayers but keep that weapon up dont lower your guard!! lol
i thought she looked so different from dd1 but overall junia is Way sexier. all that bulk. the saucy little armor leg peaking out of the torn dress, the black lipstick? (that i thought was just shading choices but its not as detailed in her nun model so thinking of it as lipstick is funnier) good for her
i also like the way audrey poses when attacking it feels... so typical of her aiaofjala
damians attacks in dd1 all involved him attacking himself and then his blood would shoot out, but in dd2, punish for instance he no longer whips his own back and uses the flail on the enemies. and looses hp regardless (something that didnt happen in dd1 but probably should of. im betting it was thought of after a while of his introduction and maybe deemed "fans would hate it if we did this" and left as is) at first i thought man come on why is he loosing hp hes not even hitting himself anymore but. the guy is a walking corpse now its incredible hes not doing the tgt shadow "everytime i move my bones fracture and reform in the new position in a matter of nanoseconds" bit
i dont think i have anything else of note right about now. im glad the prelude to attack animations can be skipped and overall dont take more than maybe a second, since one of my first thoughts on the demo was, 'oh this is gonna get old fast' and afterall... the first dd1 mod i installed was one that doubled the speed of everything aisodna
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miss-sleepdeprived · 4 years ago
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Im gonna level with you the vast majority of this was written at 3 in the morning and I’m too tired to deal with it any more so let’s hope for the best
Also this is the first part of the prologue \/
“Ah Welcome! How can I help you little lady?”
Alana just about jumped out of her skin, the people here were so friendlier than the ones at her kingdom despite the cold. It was odd.
The smith was an older man with a round face and body, he appeared a jolly fellow who she imagined wouldn't question her specifics.
“I need a sword, something that can cut through bone.” she said pulling her cloak tight around her shoulders.
“ Well alright I have something or did you have plans for it?”
“ I had plans but if it's not possible I understand.”
“ Well let me see ‘em before we say that.”
Alana smiled before pulling out her book, it was dark brown leather bound with a scarlet A on the front as her initials. Flipping to the correct page she handed the book to the smith who took it with surprising gentleness handling it with care looking over the plans before handing it back.
“Well I can do it for sure but its gonna be a hefty price little lady.”
She jumped “Right.” pulling the bad of gems and gold from her belt. “Would this be enough? I can get more if it’s not this is just what I brought with me.”
Handing it to the man he took it with the same gentleness he took her note book, opening it carefully to examine it’s contents.
“Hunny this is perfect, I imagine I can have it done sometime next month butif that works for you, just drop by anytime and have a chat if you want as well, I love the company.”
Alana smiled nodding her head before replying. “Next month is perfect, and if I have the time I may come for a visit thank you.”
“Any time little lady, now you be careful out there I think a storm is a brewin.”
The weeks passed and when she had the time Alana did come to the smithery and visit even well after her sword was made. While there she learned the name of the smith Arther and that Arther had a daughter by the name of Layla whom she met about her 3rd visit to the smithery and was now well acquainted with and could reliably consider her a friend.
Putting her trust in this new friend she told Layla of her plan and who exactly she was, Layla had been less then surprised as she had heard the horror that was king Reed understanding Alana's wish to rid the country of the tirant.
“Hey Lana?” Layla asked, grabbing the blonds attention.
Alana made a noise of acknowledgement moving her head towards her friend. “What is the hierarchy like in Iceland? Cuz here the oldest and second had to fight it out to figure out who’s the heir but I imagine it’s different where your from,”
Alana thought on the topic before giving her decision as it had never crossed her mind. “Well it’s mostly circumstantial, so let’s say that the current ruler died of natural causes then in their will whoever was stated would become ruler in my case my sister despite me being older. However let’s say that he were to get killed via assation then whoever killed him would be dubbed the new ruler despite the people's opinion.”
“Why is that?”
“Because of the crown.” Alana started. “I’ve spent my entire life learning about my country and by far the most interesting thing is the crown of the royals, it is made with a frame of black stone with three pillars in the front, the two on the sides used to have glow stone imbedded in them however the current king had them removed and replaced with coal. And the one in the middle has a good sized netheright that is enchanted to stay on the head of the royal regardless of force if the royal doesn’t want it off it won’t be coming off. The only exception being if they died.”
“Okay so let’s say that someone that wasn’t in the bloodline killed them, what would the crown do?”
“It would attach to the person who killed them although it isn’t normal for that to happen because of security precautions, we are called the most war efficient country for a reason. The people there are rough, ready to fight at any moment. It’s kind of sad if I’m honest.”
“Really?”
“Yes, think about it, wouldn't you be sad if all the time you had to keep a solid face always preparing for the worst because who knows when your king is going to declare war on a country and you're going to have to leave everything to help. I’m sorry I fell down quite the rabbit hole didn’t I?” Alana said with a shy smile
Layla put her hand on Alanas arm.” No no it’s okay that’s how you feel things are you see things from the villagers perspective it’s a sign of a great ruler! And why I thought Willbur would have been a better one.”
Layla mumbled the last but tho it was clear Aruther heard her as he was quick to scold her.
“Layla, you know it’s none of our business what goes on at the capital. And besides, Technoblade still has a time to mature all those boys do and will with time just like you, I remember you once tried to “storm the capital” because you didn’t like the color of banners they put up.”
“GREEN IS THE WORST COLOR TO PUT IN AN ENTIRELY WHITE AND BLUE AREA!”
Arther simply laughed at his daughter's childishness shaking his head as he went back to cleaning and sharpening tools.
Huffing and falling back into her chair Layla noticed something under Alana's cloak.
“Hey Lana?”
“Humm?”
“Come out back with me for a sec?”
“Sure.”
The two girls walked around to the back of the store where it was much warmer then the rest of the outside considering the walls meant to keep the wind out and the active fire that Arther used to reform tools.
“Okay cutting right to the chase do you have wings?”
“Uh..”
“YOU DO!? CAN YOU FLY!? CAN YOU TAKE ME FLYING!?”
“That’s what your wondering?”
“Uh duh, I mean come on I find out my best friend has wings and you think I’m not gonna want a ride?” she gasped before continuing. “ CAN I SEE THEM!!!??”
Alana jumped before putting her hands on Layla’s shoulders and covering her mouth to keep her quiet.
“Okay okay you can see them if you promise to be quiet.”
The brunette nodded frantically before watching Alana move her cloak allowing the massive white wings to stretch and the bones to pop from being stuck under the cloak for so long, ruffling the feathers to put them back the their place before turning back to Layla rolling her eyes slightly to see her practically jumping in her spot before nodding and allowing her friend to run her hands threw the small feathers along her back all the way down to the big ones that allow her to fly all the while checking with Alana to make sure it was okay.
“Why do you keep them under your cloak?” Layla asked with a quizzing look in her face.
“Well my parents don’t like them too much I’m not sure why but they truly just don’t want to look at them if they can help it. I think mother would cut them off if she could if I’m being honest.”
Layla stood still before opening her mouth again.
“That’s bullshit! Your wings are beautiful if I’m being honest it’s hard to see you without them now they are just so you anyone that says any different need to pull their head out of their own ass and I have half a mind to give that king of yours a piece of my mind from that!”
Layla had now moved to Alana's front. Alana simply looked at her stunned before pulling her into a hug burying her face in her shoulder.
Layla hesitated for no more than a fraction of a second before returning the hug to a bone crushing degree as if trying to desperately reassure Alana that she wasn’t going anywhere.
A moment later Alana pulled away covering her wings once again and smiled at Layla.
“If I accomplish this, would you be willing to be my advisor? Because I’ll be damned if Regionald is going to tell me what to do.”
“Always just let me know what to do.”
The two had another hug before parting once more.
“I need to head home, come on.”
Alana said pulling her friend back inside, saying goodbye to Arther, and walking out with wishes of good travel.
Getting to the edge of the dock where none ever sailed she spread her large wings allowing the large mussels to pull her into the air and lead her back to her home.
Have a nice night folks get some sleep
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auredosa · 4 years ago
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Hej! I have seen that you make a lot of theories about Hitman and I love it! Im always into theorising about the characters, who they are, characterisations etc. So I wanted to ask you, what do you think are the four main char tees for people? How would you describe 47, Diana, Grey and Olivia as characters? What are they doing in their life? Do you have any guesses about that? I would be interested in to hear!
Heya anon! Yes, I’m super into analyzing the HITMAN franchise and its characters. I think it’s so fascinating to pick apart their motives, and how they carry out their agendas. Really, I just love plotting them on an alignment chart. Here’s what I’ve got for all four of them, but be warned, it’s a doozy!
Olivia Hall
In order to understand who Olivia is as a character, you need to understand her backstory. Olivia was essentially adopted by Grey when she was 7. Grey was working as a mercenary in Sierra Leone, and met Olivia as a child=soldier. Grey, in pity and rage at her situation, took her away, and got her a good education. They’ve been together through thick and thin.
What you need to get from this is that from a very young age, Olivia has been exposed to violence. She understands that using force is a surefire way to get what you want. She also has a bone to pick with the privileged organizations in the world who force innocents to fight their wars for them. Like Grey, she has noble intentions, and is willing to do terrible things because the ends justify the means.She’s more realistic than Grey, in that she doesn’t believe in “hearts and flowers crap” (as evidenced by her dialogue in the “Homecoming” cinematic) and doesn’t like to take chances of having hopeful things.
In the future, I can see Olivia carrying on the fight against greedy and corrupt organizations in the world. After Grey either dies, decides to settle down with his brother, or just chooses to retire from the whole mercenary thing, Olivia will probably continue to take down people like Providence with her hacking skills. After all, she’s young, he’s not. She’s Grey’s successor, in a way. The song “Ruckus” by Konata Small really just explains her entire character. 
Diana Burnwood
Man, is Diana one tough woman! Like Olivia, Diana fights for what’s right, and she’s not afraid to go rogue or disobey her superiors to carry out her own agenda. However, in contrast to Grey and Olivia, she has standards, and adheres to her own moral code no matter what. Unfortunately, as I covered in this post, she works for an organization that prides itself on being amoral, and while she herself may not be, she’s still complying with the exact kind of people Olivia and Grey despise.
We also have to talk about her relationship with 47. I think that in addition to being a good friend, Diana’s also a mentor for 47 in finding his humanity, as the devs had said themselves, she’s his conscience. She acknowledges and supports 47’s determination to take down the Partners, but she also wants him to do so in a way that won’t reduce him to an anarchist. 47 is a blank slate here, and she doesn’t want him to become a spite-filled abuser-of-force like Grey. She’s the mom-friend. However, I also think she’d recognize that some people deserve what’s coming. If Grey doesn’t change his tune, I don’t think she’ll be going out of her way to save him, unless, of course, she sees that 47 wants to see his brother alive.
I feel like Diana’s at a crossroads here. She can either remain loyal to the ICA, and remain on the side of the oppressor, or, she can go full rogue like Grey for their cause. Honestly, I don’t think her story will end with her doing either. We’ve seen Diana go rogue to pull off elaborate schemes to reform the ICA before, I don’t see why she couldn’t do it . . . again. (Seriously, did IO have to completely copy the story from Blood Money to Absolution for WoA?) She’s not going to let the ICA keep abusing their amoral privilege, but she also doesn’t want to stoop to the levels of Grey and start using violence to achieve her means. If she doesn’t get shot dead in HITMAN 3, I would love to see her become Head of the Board of the ICA.
Lucas Grey
I guess the great thing about already having milked this man’s character dry is that I know exactly what to write here! Simply put, Lucas Grey is blinded by revenge and is stooping down to the level of his oppressors in an attempt to free himself. Even though he's the clone that escaped the facility, Lucas Grey is the most trapped person in the Hitman series. He's lived his entire life filled with spite and hatred against those who have wronged him, and his desire to see them destroyed has completely consumed him. He think that destroying Providence and, mercilessly manipulating, killing and stepping over those who stand in his way is noble and vigilant. He believes that doing this will bring him closure and satisfaction, but in reality, he's only stooping down to his oppressors' level and becoming the very thing he sought out to destroy. He might not be operating on behalf of Province, but he has hurt countless people, deserving of punishment or not, in pursuit of his own goals, and this, in and of itself, makes him just as bad as Edwards and the Partners.
What he fails to realize is that it's not enacting revenge against the world that will make him satisfied, it's separating his identity from what Providence wanted him to be, and freeing himself from the cage that he's placed himself in. He's similar to Beneatha Younger from A Raisin in the Sun, in terms of how they play into the will of others. He insists that he's a free man, but he constantly asserts that he's defined by the cruel world he's been thrust into. His entire life's purpose is get even with Providence, and nothing more. Even if he and 47 manage to eliminate each of their affiliates and liquidate every of their assets, until he learns to break free and put his life towards something on his own terms, Lucas will never truly be free from the hold of Providence.
Now, there are two ways this can go: Either, Grey realizes that using force to eliminate all who’ve wronged him doesn’t make him better than them, and he stops, and settles down in Gontranno with his brother. Or, he insists that all that matters to him is getting even, and he either dies for his cause, gets arrested, or gets marked as a terrorist and gets himself assassinated, or something like that. I think he truly does care for 47 and his well being, and I think he wants to rekindle a relationship with him independent of Providence, the ICA, whatever. Really, this man needs to get his priorities straight. And hopefully, Diana, Olivia, and 47 will help him realize he can be so much more than just a martyr.
Agent 47
Honestly, this man’s a bit of a wild card. He doesn’t care about politics, morals, or any of the things that shape the above character. And that, in and of itself, makes him the most vulnerable. You can’t fight a war if you don’t know what you’re fighting for. Yes, he’s in agreement with Grey and their goal of eliminating the Partners, but what comes after that? I honestly cannot predict what he’d do, because there’s no motive in him beyond that. All we know is that he seems content to be an assassin, he’s fine using force, taking orders, and complying with his superiors. Seems bleak, right?
Well, no, not really. There’s a line that Edwards drops as you’re escorting him to the boat in the Isle of Sgail mission: “Interesting. The good doctor built his serum specifically to target the seats of your emotions. Has Miss Burnwood’s sense of justice rubbed off on you, I wonder?” Followed by 47 saying, “Just keep walking.” I think that, from a theorist’s viewpoint, we could interpret this as 47 admitting that yes, Diana’s sense of justice has rubbed off on him. He’s just still grappling with it, and doesn’t know where he stands. Does 47 necessarily share Diana’s sentiment of remaining neutral in the grand scheme of things? Hard to tell.
I think 47 will soon have to make a decision as to who, and what, he’s going to fight for. My current prediction is that he’ll roll with his brother and his brute-force playing-dirty plan, for now, just because he really wants to take down the Partners, but after that, he might try to convince Grey to, you know, stop the bloodshed. Or, if my current theory about Grey being after the ICA is right, maybe 47 will have to convince Grey that the ICA doesn’t need to be taken down, kill Grey, or pressure Diana to tell her higherups to become more vigilant. Considering that he’s still suspicious of Grey in cutscene before the Bank mission, and the fact that Diana and 47 have spent 20+ years together, I think he’ll remain loyal to Diana at the end of the day. Let’s pray that Grey won’t kill his own brother if, or when, their paths separate.
. . . I mean, my ideal ending? They all go back to a reformed ICA, taking down corrupt people who deserve it and using diplomacy when they can. Olivia gets hired as a hacker, or becomes Grey and 47′s new handler, Diana becomes head of the board (and still keeps in touch with 47, because duh, unbreakable bond), and Grey and 47 are just tag-teaming assignments all badass movie-like. After all, the family that slays together stays together!
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fire-umbrem · 5 years ago
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shitpost
im sorry
An Eye For An Eye
It was raining in Garreg Mach. Not an uncommon occurrence but today it was pouring particularly hard. And Dimitri was sitting out in it. Alone.
There were many things on his mind today. The tragedy of Duscur, the betrayal of Edelgard, the war ravaging Fodlan... but a new phantom had started to haunt his head.
It was a voice. A voice that was low and deep and almost like it was always on the verge of laughing.
At him.
It taunted him.
"You... How dare... GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he screamed into the rain to no one.
"Dude, chill."
Dimitri froze, There, coming from behind him, was the source of the voice, in the flesh, instead of just his head.
:"You... I... I'll..."
He whirled around,
:"I'LL FEED YOUR GUTS TO THE VULTUR-"
He stopped. Standing before him was a short, squat skeleton, in a blue jacket and slippers.
"Joke's on you, I have no guts."
Dimitri stared, as hard as he possibly could with only one eye.
"What... What are you?"
"A skeleton."
"N-no that's obvious but - who are you then?"
"I'm Sans. I've got a bit of a funny bone."
"Strange creature, why do you speak in riddles and puns?"
"It's my brand. Also you look like you could use some humor in your life."
The rain started letting up. Dimitri paused.
"I... I guess I could."
"Don't suppose you've got a Grillby's around here? You know, for like, food?:
"No, but... we have tea?"
Sans sighed. "It'll do."
-------------------
The two were sitting together around a small tea table, with pastries and a pot of tea in the middle. Dimitri gingerly sipped his tea, rocking back and forth in his seat slightly. Sans just kind of... Poked at his cup of tea.
"So," said Dimitri. "Where are you from? I doubt it's Fodlan."
"I'm from the Underground."
"You mean like... the sewers? And I thought the sewer people were a myth."
"No, like... we're monsters, we live under a mountain, there was a barrier, but this nice human set us free. At least in one-"
He grew silent.
"One what?" said Dimitri.
Sans gave a very fake yawn. "I'm too tired to explain."
"...If you say so. Well the Kingdom Of Faregus will welcome you."
"This is like, medieval fantasy land, right?" said Sans. "I'll be fine."
It was then Ashe approached.
"Dimitri! Hello! I've been looking all over for you!"
Dimitri turned to Ashe (not literally).
"Hello, Ashe. Have you met Sans Undertale here?"
Ashe looked over to where Sans was sitting, but could only see an empty chair.
"Uh...  Sorry Dimitri, I don't see anyone..."
"...Whar? What?! Sans is right there, you're looking right at hin!"
Sans just awkwardly waved at Ashe.
"Er, did... something... hit you... on the head?" Ashe said, slowly backing off.
"No... It can't be... He's there, I'm telling the truth!" said Dimitri
"I'll... I'lll go get Marianne!" said Ashe, running off.
"Er, bro, you might wanna chill," said Sans.
"No...I'll show them you're real! I'll show them all!"
He picked up Sans - who yelped - and carried him off.
---------
"Look at him! Look at him! Look at him! I want you all to look at him!"
Dimitri ran around, shoving Sans into people's faces. Most just backed or ran away, or laughed only to stop when Dimitri gave them a menacing glare.
Finally Dimitri stumbled over to Byleth.
"Can you see him? You probably can't, I'm probably wasting my ti-
Byleth's eyes widened and he gave Sans a quick tap on the forehead.
"That tickles," said Sans.
"Professor... You... You can see him?"
Byleth nodded.
"Excellent! You can explain to the others what's going on."
Byleth tilted his head.
"Actually... Sans, what did bring you here?"
"I was bored," said Sans. "Plus you seem like you could use the help?"
The eyebrow over Dimitri's good eye raised. "Help with what?"
It was then Ashe came over with Marianne. "There he is!" Ashe said.
"Please, hold still while I heal your head injury!" said Marianne. "You will feel a few moments of excruciating pain, but that's normal for this spell and you'll be all better right after!"
"Wait, what? I don't need this!" said Dimitri.
Byleth waved his hands in a "woah, slow down" gesture.
"Relax, he knows me from Smash," said Sans.
Byleth gave a "kind of" gesture.
"Wait..." said Marianne. "Byleth, do you see it too?"
Byleth nodded vigorously. Marianne paused.
"...Oh goodness, you must ALSO have a head injury!" she said. "Hold still while I-"
And just like that Byleth, Dimitri, and Sans were gone.
-----------------
The three were now in the sewers. Water dripped around them and there were unsightly lumps Dimitri avoided touching.
Byleth tapped his forehead.
"He says he has connections down here." said Sans.
"...Oh. Right. Yuri and his friends. Anyway, Sans, what did you say you were here for?"
"I wanted to talk. About your sis."
Dimitri scowled. "What of her?"
"You two need to talk."
"No. Disgusting. I refuse."
"Listen, me and my bro butt heads too and like, it doesn't start wars but I see myself in you. And I've seen timelines back home where things could get bad. Real bad. And I don't want your timeline to end up like those."
Byleth nodded.
"Byleth here reminds me of this kid I know. Went through a lot of paths in their timelines. A lot of them were real bad. But they eventually settled on a good one. I know Byleth is trying to do... somewhat like that."
Byleth nodded again.
Sans yawned. "Man being altruistic is exhausting. But really, talk to her."
"Suggest that again and I'll grind those bones of yours into powder."
"Rude."
Byleth struck a thinking pose, then bent down and signed something to Sans. Sans nodded and turned to Dimitri again.
"Would you do it for some tasty weeds?"
Dimitri's eyebrow arched over his good eye again. "Not even for that."
"What if I had a killer supply of weeds. The tastiest weeds I could ever stuff down your gullet. An infinite smorgaspoard."
"Tempting but still no."
Sans leaned forward. "I have the weed."
"...Fine. Fine, I will talk to her. But I cannot guarantee it will end well for either of us."
"Great!" said Sans. "But... How do we get there? I never bothered to bring a map." "You imbecile!" said Dimitri. "You're the one who proposed-"
The two noticed Byleth beckoning them further down the sewer tunnel.
"Let's follow him!" Sans said.
And so they did.
---------------
The three emerged from a sewer grate right outside of a castle.
"Impossible... This is Enbarr, capital of the Adrestian Empire!" said Dimitri.
Byleth nodded and smirked.
"Well we just need to get inside then," said Sans.
"We need disguises," said Dimitri.
---------------
The three were now wearing baggy brown cloaks.
"Perfect!" said Dimitri.
The three walked up to some guards.
"Excuse me we're-" Dimitri started to say.
"Hot dog salesmen," said Sans.
"What?" said Dimitri. "That's ridiculou-"
Byleth nudged him and he sighed. "Hot dog salesmen."
"What are these... Hot dogs?" said one of the guards.
Sans produced a platter of hot dogs that Byleth passed to the guards, and the guards passed around and tasted, their faces lighting up in delight.
"These are wonderful!" said one.
"We're delivering them to the Emperor," said Dimitri, suddenly getting an idea. "They could potentially solve world hunger."
"Of course! Usher them in straight away!"
And the group was indeed ushered in.
----------
The three walked inside, through the winding corridors, all the way up to the throne room.
There, on the throne, was Edelgard, Hubert by her side as always. Dimitri whipped his cloak off.
"YOU!"
"YOU!" Edelgard said right back.
"Stand by, Edelgard, I will dispose of him sho-"
"Woah, woah, woah, hold on!" said Sans, removing his cloak and waving his hands. Byleth sighed and removed his as well.
"The old professor too? What is the meaning of this?" said Edelgard.
Dimitri sighed. "The skeleton you can't see wants us to talk."
"....Talk about what?"
"Our issues, apparently."
Byleth nodded.
"But... Why? After everything?"
Sans whispered into Dimitri's ear, leading Dimitri to reply.
"Because our sibling feud is hurting a lot more than just us."
Edelgard thought a second. Hubet twiddled his fingers in annoyance.
"...Fine. Let's talk." said Edelgard. "But it's not going to end well."
--------------------------
The meeting for a peace treaty between Faergus and Adrestia was a rousing success. Reform spread through both nations. Peace was on the way to Fodlan.
During a festival celebrating the alliance, as a crowd outside the castle rejoiced, Edelgard and Dimitri approached Sans and Byleth.
"I just wanted to say... Thank you for helping make this possible professor!" said Dimitri.
"He had a little help," said Dimitri, winking at Sans in a way that looked like blinking because of the eyepatch. Sans winked back.
The two royal siblings left, and then Sans turned to Byleth.
"You saw them too huh? All those icky bad end timelines."
Byleth nodded gravely.
"Yeah, like, I know the feeling," said Sans. "I've been there. But a certain kid a lot like you... the one who made the good decisions anyway... they taught me to care just a little."
Byleth gave Sans a pat. Sans smiled.
"Well, you owe me one for help untangling those! Say hi to the guys in Smash for me."
Byleth, uncharacteristically, grinned as they gave a thumbs up.
-----------------
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT SANS!" said Papyrus, shaking his controller with glee. "THEY ADDED A HAPPY ENDING! IT'S WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED FOR THIS GAME!"
Sans, laying next to him on the couch, groaned. "Pipe down, will you?"
"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR HYPING RESPONSIBLY!" said Papyrus. He put a hand to his chin. "THOUGH... I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT THIS NEW DLC ROUTE BEFORE... AND I THOUGHT THE DLC WAS DONE AFTER ASHEN WOLVES... AND I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ALPHYS AND UNDYNE ABOUT IT EVEN THOUGH THEY RECOMMENDED ME THIS GAME."
Sans shrugged with a smirk. "It's not like I did it."
"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T," said Papyrus. "LAZYBONES."
***
Happy April Fools y'all
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silversoulstardust · 5 years ago
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post-azkaban wolfstar #1
a/n: hi im new to the fandom and currently love everything about wolfstar. used to write for multiple different fandoms but i decided to start fresh with a new blog and i could use some new followers. so follow me and i’ll follow you back! :) cheers to a new beginning with a short fic post-azkaban wolfstar, may there be more to come! 
-----------------------------------------
“Well, it’s not really that bad.”
      Remus pushed open the narrow wooden door that lead into a small hut. It creaked, almost falling off its hinge despite only employing a bit of power to have it open. “What are you waiting for? In you go,” leered Remus towards Sirius, eyeing the inside of the confined quarter that was about to be their home for the next couple of weeks, until Dumbledore give further instruction on the reformation of the Order of the Phoenix. Before Remus had left the best job he ever had, Dumbledore had tasked him to find Sirius Black who had narrowly escaped the ministry officials at Hogwarts after breaking out from the prison of Azkaban. Dumbledore’s words echoed in his ears. “Find your dear friend, Remus. Hide him away from the prying onlookers and avenging death eaters,and remind him that he’s alive. Remind him that he can feel, certainly small things that can bring him happiness is not something out of reach, despite the war that’s looming over us. Heal him, Remus.”
So here he was, standing outside an abandoned hut under a palm tree overlooking the sparkling blue sea on a sunny afternoon, halfway across the world from Hogwarts. Remus helped himself inside the house, and Sirius reluctantly followed.
“It’s dirty, Re. Sorry. I mean, Moony,” Sirius pointed at the room of furniture covered with dirty grey coverings that could have been white once upon a time, a thick layer of dust settled on top of it. “I’m not some rat to be living in such filth, heh.”
“You’re dirty too, so I don’t see the problem here,” shrugged Remus with a sly smile. Sirius was still wearing the shabby robe he had worn since the night he escaped Hogwarts, looking unamused. Remus reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and had his wand out. With a flick of a wrist, the back door and two windows on each side of the small house flung open. The coverings hovered off the top of a threadbare green velvety couch, a coffee table with one of the legs missing, a disheveled mattress on an broken bed on one corner, a small sturdy dining table and a tiny area recognizable as the kitchen. It flew out with most of the dust on it, the grey robes flicking itself against the side of the house to remove dust off it. A broom hopped out of a small corner of the kitchen and started sweeping the length of the whole house, with a mop and a bucket of soap water trailing behind it, leaving soapsuds in its wake. “I really miss that,” added Remus. He added another flick to the wand and the furniture mended itself, appearing as good as new.
“And may I know what you miss, Messer Moony?” asked Sirius as he finally inched further into the threshold of the house, stopping short behind the slightly taller man. Remus turned around to face Sirius, his dark eyes set in that hollow and sickly face still burn with its vigor Remus came to know too well during their younger years. He couldn’t number the times he had stared for a few seconds too long for it to be a normal interaction between two brothers. That one time they were both hiding in a broom closet as they set off a prank upon Mr. Filch, they had their faces an inch off each other that they no could no longer pretend they were just friends. Remus couldn’t recall who initiated the touch and the kisses; they were both equally hungry for it. The rest was history. Well, until that fateful day of betrayal and deaths. That day, Remus lost three of his best friends all at once; the Marauders that they were.
“You calling me Re,” a sliver of smile passed through his scar-filled face, as he tried to keep the sweet flashes of memories contained away. He was always Remus or Moony to others, but Sirius only called him Re when they were alone together. “And that clever mouth of yours, Padfoot.”
Sirius smirked, as though he could see through what was running through Remus’s mind. “Do you remember, when we were on top of the astronomy towe – ” he started, but trailed off with a hint of fear in his voice, as though afraid something would steal it if it was said out loud. “ah, no, never mind. That’s ancient history, is it not? Happy memories should just be stowed away and be remembered in secrecy.”
Sensing the sudden change of mood, Remus took a guess. “Pads, you can remember,” Remus raised his hands to grip Sirius’s shoulders with a firm assurance. “There is no dementors here to suck out your happy memories. There’s only me, only us here, see? We’re off the grid on the order of Dumbledore and nobody can find us unless he wills it. This is not Azkaban.”
Heavy silence passed between them for a moment. Remus amber eyes met with Sirius’s blacks, gaze unyielding.
“Fucking finally,” breathed Sirius as he took a step forward, closing the small gap they had between them as he rested his head on Remus’s shoulder, heavy and unguarded. His arms wrapped around the waist of the lean Remus, taut. His voice hoarse, cracking around the edges. “I have been really tired protecting the memories of us, Re. I was so scared they would suck away those memories and leave me with nothing, reducing me to a soulless being with no good memories to live with. Two things I live for while being trapped for twelve years in that hell, Re – the wellbeing of my godson Harry and – “he choked on his words with a low sob “ – and my dear friend Remus Lupin. My beautiful Moony.”
“Forgive me, love,” Remus pressed a furious kiss against the top of Sirius’s head and pulled him closer, his arms were tightly wrapped around the shaken figure he was holding. Sirius was barely bones and skin, so different compared to the man he used to know. Remus couldn’t help but blame himself for the misery Sirius had to endure. Twelve years Remus spent alone blaming Sirius for turning his back against the Order. If only he had sought out the truth earlier and helped free the man he once loved, not letting him endure twelve gruesome years in prison alone. Not believing the news he heard from other people around him – no matter how trustworthy they were – and had gone straight to Sirius to demand for the truth or use all his might to fight the ministry for a trial Sirius deserved so he could defend himself. Remus’s voice was heavy with remorse. “Forgive me.”
As Remus and Sirius choked on their sobs and made amend they never knew they needed, Remus understood why Dumbledore had picked him for this task.
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dalishious · 7 years ago
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@newwillinium replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
National Pride, desire for glory, to shove it in the faces of racist Chevaliers. Orlesian Elves are still Orlesian after all, and with Briala at the lead shall be afforded the same rights and opportunities as Human Orlesians. Eventually at least, traditional institutions like the Chevaliers are likely to take a while. Plus I like to imagine that Leliana, Murder Pope, reformation will greatly help in these needed social changes.
agenderium-z replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
@newwillinium literally why would any elf have any 'national pride' when at best they're treated as pets by orlesians. why would any elf want to enter a group that has a rite of passage that involves slaughtering their people. tbh by saying that you LIKE gaspard, a man who pays for a study to 'prove' that elves are beasts, says a lot. you're so white dude.
newwillinium replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
I am incredibly white, used to joke that I was so pale that I’d be translucent in the rays of the sun, but I like to think that I’ve grown much out of my ignorant youth. I’m guessing that this is in the book right? I’ve only experienced Gaspard via the game where he is a bit of a thug defined by a cherished code. A warmonger that will keep and hold to a peace set by Queen Anora and the Inquisition. As for why Orlesian Elves may feel national pride? Well that is how people work in terms of
newwillinium replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
of empires. A raised minority will be used to create control of a region. The best example perhaps being that of the British Empire and the Sikhs of the Indian Peninsula. In the world of Thedas however the Orlesian Elves might wish to join the Chevaliers either to change the organization from the inside, perhaps inspired by tales of the Heroic Chevaliers, or out of spite from the Alienage slaughters. I outright refuse to use Michel as an example here as his character arc is the exact opposite of
newwillinium replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
what I propose and is honestly rather gross.
agenderium-z replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
im gonna be real with you my guy ain't nobody gonna read that whitesplainly shit @newwillinium
newwillinium replied to your post “@newwillinium replied to your post “… You’ve read The Masked Empire...”
Whitesplaining is a new one to me but fair enough. I obviously do not have the best background to discuss minorities and what they may do in an evolving Empire, outside of a historical context of our own world. Ultimately what I mean to say is, Fair enough.
👋 Hi, can I jump in? Though thank you @agenderium-z for responding with what I was gonna say, and I’m going to reiterate your words a bit.
@newwillinium, it is a lot more complicated than “Orlesian elves are still orlesian.” As is national pride. I don’t think there is a way that I can properly explain to you how it feels to live in a country that is built on the bones of your people, and wants to bury you with them. Then have fingers waving at you everywhere, telling you that you must be proud of your country. That you do not deserve to be a citizen if you have any criticism at all. 
I live in Atlantic Canada, but to me, it is Mi’kma’ki. I belong to two Nations. One of them created by colonizers on top of the other. I do say that I am Canadian, and you know what, for as many, many, many faults my country has, it is still my home. And I still feel relatively proud to say that I am Canadian, for what that should mean. But that comes with all kinds of inner turmoil and mixed emotions, that gets worse every single time I see yet another statistic added to the MMIW crisis, or get told that I’m just too sensitive for wanting a statue of a genocidal warlord honouring his crimes removed. And I know many native people who do not feel Canadian. And I support them, because I understand.
The elves of Orlais did not ask to be made Orlesian. The Orlesians conquered their homeland and made it their own. The national pride you speak of, you need to understand that there are probably many elves who do not feel Orlesian, no more than Fereldans felt Orlesian while under occupation. 
I just posted a piece on the chevaliers of Orlais, outlining how horrible they are. No elf in their right mind would want to join them. The chevaliers are everything about Orlais that is horrible.
Gaspard is the biggest sack of shit in Orlais, and yes, that is detailed in the book. I recommend you read my post, ‘What Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts Didn’t Tell You.’ This includes covering the fact that Gaspard commissioned studies trying to prove elves are more akin to rodents, and that he enjoys going on Dalish hunting parties.
Whitesplaining is when white people condescendingly talk over POC on matters of racism and etc. Like how you just tried to tell me how minorities react to being under the control of empires. And re: your example, my suggestion to you would be to check out CrimesOfBritain on Twitter.
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spacesunflcwer · 6 years ago
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random things my friend has texted me, out of context
these were slightly edited for clarity
tbh a lot of these are real moods. but a lot of these are REALLY weird. you have been warned.
also i used / to signify next message it’s not poetry lol
“I have awoken and my mom is laughing in her sleep I’m terrified”
“In other news seeing so many lesbians and gays is giving me life”
“I still watch Barbie movies bcuz they are made very well except for being eyesores a little”
“MY EGGS / My eggs”
“Oh smarty pants wow”
“Woe / Woe is me”
“Gurl this has nothing to do with urology and transplant”
“Ahhhdheehh cute”
“But every movie is a lesbian movie if you try hard enough”
“Idk if I’m tired or not? It’s like 4:35 AM and I’m chilling but like ???”
“I, unfortunately, just woke up from a dream in which the kids in my class and the marvel characters were having an intense, two-teamed game of hide and seek in my apartment complex”
“DONT DOUBT THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP / YOU WILDIN”
“They sang for the first 5 fucking minutes of the movie but it passes the bechdel test”
“Omg block her in real life by barricading your door”
“I’m fine but HOLY SHIT”
“Do you find enjoyment in degrading ur sister bc that’s lit”
“Bye bye lgbt+ month :( / Hello lgbt+ life :)”
“GUYs my music was just on shuffle and right after an incredibly emotional song that made me upset, All Star by Smash Mouth started playing”
“ITS 420 HELL FUCKING YEAH DAWG”
“I’m not wearing my pants and there is a guy outside my window with a ladder wtf should i do”
“Yeahhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhfcukkkk hyeah baby h fcuk”
“MY BROTHER FUCKIN BETRAYED ME”
“My language teacher has turned me into a dinner / A SINNER”
“Ur kind of a nerd”
“The noise that just exited my body was ungodly and defiled the name of mankind”
“Lol when u just want to attack ur owner but then she rejects u”
“Do you remember what I said earlier? About you being smart? Reading that just made me take it back”
“Ssshiiitititititi I love him / Sweet boy”
“FrickIN / MEMES”
“It’s a story for u to tell the I N F I D E L S WHO QUESTION YOUR P O W E R”
And I’ve never seen a man with claws”
“Lol wyd in the bathroom hehehe ??? *Sticks my tongue out like a fuckboy* without me ?? Damn”
“I’m cock blocked but with studies”
“Why am I so uneducated on gay days”
“Who / Would / U sacrifice”
“No offence but u look like a crackhead”
“Well apparently I’m yeeting my way through school and I have no idea what I’m doing”
“Omg out there in Germany YALL ARE CRAZY YOU GUYS ARE EATIGN ALCHOLHOL SO LIT”
“Throw me the batter you ho I’ll slurp it like a roomba”
“FEEELINGS feelings feelings feeeellliinngss”
“Can I tell you a secret” (me: “ok”) “I don’t know shit”
“I was reading some Shakespeare that sounds kinda pretentious but he’s a cool dude ya know”
“You’re a big girl I’m shook”
“I cost like half a roomba”
“I’m so tired and all the water in my house tastes like dish soap”
“I wish I could chug a litre of coke but alas I only have pepsi”
“That’s fine I don’t feel pain I’m numb to existence”
“The only time I cried for a show was at Ben 10”
“!! You’re infiltrating the system !!!!! You can do it”
“Why the fuck are you getting bangs ?? How many years have you had depression?”
“Mmmhhhhmmm / Beeeettccchhh”
“Hell yeah. Self reform is so sexy”
“You've never broken a bone. You will.” (me: “wow is that a threat?”) “It’s a promise”
“Power move is gaying out over those pretty girls from hairspray next to your homophobic mom on the last day of pride month”
“what the fuck im cackling like da joker”
“Im imagining you rubbing your stomach length beard as you say that”
and let’s not forget :
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syeu · 8 years ago
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Moon / Rigel / Betelgeuse / Aldebaran / All Constellations / Black Eye Galaxy / Comet / Asteroid / Nebula / Pulsar / Supernova / Wormhole / Black Hole !
thank you sm! you’re an angel (my emoji keyboard is a glitched mess rn so imagine a lil angel emoji here and three different hearts)
gonna put this under a cut!
Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study?
currently i’m studying molecular biology bc i luv it :B
Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster?
yes! i live for them
Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about?
the crushing weight of being Alive + needing to prove myself .. constantly.. + feeling hated
Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about?
i like biology a frightening amount but besides that, the environment and sj issues (particularly lgbt/racial discrimination + criminal justice system reform) .. i genuinely want the world to be a better place
Centaurus: Favourite holiday?
hm.. maybe... dia de los muertos and obon. i jus like holidays that celebrate our passed loved ones. i don’t really like many others lul
Orion: Favourite month?
february bc my birthday and i luv the cold when it’s not Too cold and i love the cheesy valentine’s day aesthetic
Cassiopeia: Favourite book?
oh man.. one flew over the cuckoo’s nest and GOOD OMENS for fiction, just mercy for nonfiction . i just started salvage the bones and it’s also very good
Delphinus: Favourite study?
science by far..anything in STEM really bc i hate myself
Hercules: Favourite instrument?
tuba, bass (upright and guitar), bassoon (ok apologies in advance bc..i am indecisive and can’t pick .. just one thing for these)
Gemini: Favourite song?
hhh lemme think .. i love mistress witch from mcclure and should’ve known better by sufjan, amor prohibido by selena, first love/late spring by mitski is #life-changing, only time will tell by asia bc it’s a classic, and lately ugly cherries by pwr bttm has been stuck in my head . so the end result is idk.
Pegasus: Favourite place to be?
i honestly .. cannot think of a place . im jus floating thru space. i like when i have my new heated blanket + my stereotypical chicanx swap meet blanket
Libra: Favourite colour?
i really like rust and indigo
Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear?
specifically, i have the cutest stripey pants and a light gray crop top .. it’s like a lot but it’s cute? but i like never wear it bc i feel self conscious in it. but more broadly, JACKETS and HOODIES/SWEATERS i can’t live without them
Aries: Favourite movie?
i luv every ghibli movie but esp spirited away and princess mononoke, JUNO, inside llewyn davis, little miss sunshine, chungking express, lilo & stitch .. ot but i wanna see the handmaiden and moonlight so bad
Cygnus: Favourite weather?
sunny drizzle like during summer in more tropical/humid areas
Hydra: Favourite sound?
raindrops on a window + crashing waves it’s so nice
Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight?
i want 2 be corny and say yes but in reality, no. i believe in infatuation at first sight but i believe love is a constant commitment and a choice
Comet: What’s your big dream?
uhh getting 2 the point where i’m genuinely like, happy and succeeding
Asteroid: What does your dream life look like? 
i’m doing nuthing but playing vidya games and reading and working when i want to and i don’t have social media + am pretty/interesting and live in aruba
Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be?
not ever being abused .. particularly by one person
Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years?
graduate .. find a job i guess ... get m*rried maybe still not sure .. be Well u know ..
Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die?
i really would like to travel the world ! like i’d love to see family in mexico, brazil, and bosnia before i die, as well as see the northern lights :-)
Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t?
i would like 2 be genetically engineered .. to be the ideal human..
Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see?
this is loike the most morbid question like last thing i see before i die? lmao uh.. i could say my loved ones but it’s late and all i can think of is that breaking bad song remix video. that wouldn’t be too bad
THANK YOU AGAIN! :+) *10 trillion heart and star emojis*
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tosh123no · 6 years ago
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--new age-bs--
Sitting at the top All roads lead to me When what you got isnt what you need things can bloat what does this mean? Is there ever a sincere prompt? Escape, Delete, Alt, sent me... Even the mastermind has an “i” to dot I am accomplished in secrecy All roads lead to me to get across you have to deal with me Who made these rules? Who set this score? Who tied the noose? Because it’s loose And its purpose can can easily be subdued All roads lead to me Starring at a ghost beneath starring at a ghost of me and auras and things I read you and you read me Abilities, more like shackles on a blind man pulled by the current downstream Freed, I was pulled back, I got All roads still lead to me... How to stop what is and was? Or is illusion in place to guide backwards again? I will never know until I SEE Abilities, speak and I will read if it dont come easy if it dont come cheap You can expect me to retreat So if I can read you, I must have a real ability since I never try at anything Your right, and my crown is heavy like sheep, goat’s needs are heavy/many empathy for a beaten down and exalted group Empathy, for us, for them, for and you Crown me ruler as I write One more time one more song, one more night the darkeness gatheres in my room People, when they out not/should hyper natural seek me visual i keep getting called back in the machine never stops spinnin no way to know who to trust perhaps the results speak to the environment Figured out who sorrounds me from with in with inside information, it’s easy to stalk a prey i listened and followed for miles my heart was swallowed .. and i have colleected the remains in a pile secrecy, crowned in secrecy an obligation of which no one can speak dont take me to your parties I will flee thats NOT ME I am a free agent, I am free. Dont take me to your parties, I am crowned in secrecy and clothed in black and white. Leave me where you found me, walk away because thats just who you are. tommorrow there’ll be someone else I will read and you will see I will see and you will read loop me around, bring a fresh batch where there was one group now there is two the endless supply is questionable so tell me... are conditions humane? Or is it all chaos and completely insane? Do you want out? Or are you obsessed with the ins and outs, the ascensions and the “more”? once in there seems to be no out how to respond to that? On only 5 hrs of sleep and my creative is taking a backseat music, the only drug we’ll ever need and all roads continue to lead to me this how long is this tradition? it feels like its a sentence worried about the implications This is having an endless string of pets, each better than the next replacing the other again and again What are the ramifications? The reprecussions? Im worried about the fall out Like a crimminal who’s scared of being caught but you get off, on the danger because ITS IN YOUR BLOOD Its not in mine Im just a killer for hire, reformed but blackmaled what am I? What are we? What are you? Endless string, performing their scene with me there it is and here is me here’s my stop, when do you leave? “When you awake up” well then wake me up when November ends the things you said, SIMPLE.. but terrible honest they slice to the bone and separate the tendons so we can see directly in and the disease its carefully alocated I really dont want to go back to this say something thats not true so i can get rid of you i saw what you said, now what to do? Storylines made up in my mind ways to entertain the anxious brain nothing will be the same as b4 u came. wreck the house and take a slave you did and didnt and you imitated and you take look around because it’s fate i guess so... too little too late
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viralhottopics · 8 years ago
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‘Gun for hire’: how Jeff Sessions used his prosecuting power to target Democrats
As the justice departments man in Alabama, Trumps attorney general indicted political opponents in remarkably thin cases, court filings show
Arthur Outlaw wanted a second term.
It was 1989 and Outlaw, the Republican mayor of Mobile, Alabama, was girding himself for his re-election campaign. Word was that Lambert Mims, a popular local Democrat, would run against him. Some Republicans were growing skittish.
But a close friend of Outlaws had something planned. The friend had been president of the state Young Republicans, chairman of the regional GOP, then a senior official in the Mobile County Republican party. And now he was the top federal prosecutor in southern Alabama.
Jeff says that Mims wont be around by that time, an Outlaw aide said ominously, while discussing the election at a City Hall meeting that February, according to a sworn affidavit from an official who was in the room.
A few months later, Mims confirmed that he would be challenging Outlaw. Then Jeff Sessions made his move.
Sessions, then the US attorney for Alabamas southern district, indicted Mims on criminal corruption charges relating to obscure four-year-old negotiations over a planned recycling plant. Mims was the ninth notable Democrat in the area to be indicted by Sessions since the young Republican was appointed by President Ronald Reagan. He would not be the last.
Opponents concluded that Sessions used his federal prosecutors office, and the FBI agents who worked for him, as political weapons, according to more than half a dozen veterans of Mobiles 1980s legal and political circles. Some alleged in court filings that the ambitious young Republican actually worked from a hitlist of Democratic targets.
Sessions was a gun for hire, said Tom Purvis, a former sheriff of Mobile County, and he went after political enemies. Purvis was acquitted of charges against him that Sessions oversaw after Purvis unseated another Outlaw ally from the elected sheriffs position.
The decades-old concerns have been revived by Donald Trumps appointment of Sessions as US attorney general, and the mounting anxiety over his ability to remain even-handed as the nations most senior law enforcement official given his record of vigorous partisanship. Earlier this week, Sessions was pressured into removing himself from oversight of any FBI investigations into the Trump campaigns contacts with Russia.
Bolstering the claims are the remarkably thin prosecution cases brought by Sessions against some of those Democrats he indicted, which are detailed across thousands of pages of archived court filings that were reviewed by the Guardian.
Lambert Mims. Photograph: Garry Mitchell/AP
Sessions had no direct evidence that Mims had committed a crime. The recycling plant was never even built. Ive never seen such a flimsy, weak case as this against anybody, Mimss attorney said in court.
Still, Sessionss office, which boasted a 95% conviction rate, persuaded a jury to find Mims guilty. Mims, a 60-year-old lay preacher, sobbed through his trial. He cried when he was convicted, then cried again when he was sentenced to 10 years in prison. I will go to my grave proclaiming my innocence, Mims told Judge Charles Butler.
A few years later, Sessions ran to be Alabama attorney general. His old friend Outlaw, who was also a wealthy businessman, personally donated $25,000 to Sessionss campaign. It was more than any other contributor gave.
He is an ideologue
Sessions began the 1980s on the front lines of Mobiles partisan warfare.
Having left his job as an assistant US attorney following the election of Jimmy Carter as US president, Sessions worked on Ronald Reagans triumphant 1980 White House bid in Alabama and campaigned to elect fellow Republicans to local offices that were then still dominated by conservative Democrats.
After one such contest ended in narrow defeat for a Republican nominee, Sessions was incandescent. The 34-year-old disputed the result in the county courts and forcefully demanded a full recount.
During one hearing, Sessions so furiously accused the Democrats of wrongdoing that the judge ruled him out of order three times. The Republicans took the election challenge all the way to the Alabama supreme court before finally admitting defeat.
It was a declaration of intent.
He is an ideologue, said Ed Massey, a Mobile attorney who has known Sessions since the 1970s. His attitude was, Ive got a job to do, and this is what I think my job is, and Im going to do it with guns blazing.
A few months later, Sessions was announced as Reagans choice to fill the top job in the federal prosecutors office in Mobile. Once installed, he quickly got to work on reshaping the agenda of this little outpost of the US justice department.
In September 1982, Bob Gulledge, a first-term Democratic state senator, was preparing to defend his seat when Sessions indicted him for alleged land fraud conspiracy. Gulledge and an associate had profited from the sale of a tract of land that had been bought with a mortgage from a government-backed lender where the associate was also an executive.
What are we doing here? Wheres the crime? Gulledges exasperated attorney asked the court at trial, after Sessions gave an extravagant 90-minute opening statement.
The attorney, Barry Hess, said Gulledge was no different from other borrowers except he happened to be in the state senate, and happened to be running for re-election soon:
The prosecutor is like a dog with a bone, said Hess. Its a bone with no meat on it, but he keeps playing with it, burying it. There just aint any meat on it.
A mistrial was declared after jurors could not reach a verdict. But by then, Gulledge had lost his party primary contest, and was out of his re-election race altogether. He did not respond to requests for comment.
As the next election season approached in late 1984, Sessions struck again. The city commissioner, Gary Greenough, was sentenced to 10 years for allegedly stealing a cut of the profits from Mobiles municipal auditorium, a city-run entertainment venue that hosted top-tier shows such as the Jacksons, Santana, and Kool and the Gang.
Greenough, who had, with Lambert Mims, pushed through municipal contracting reforms that left Sessions allies out of pocket, always maintained his innocence.
And a review of the case shows that the evidence against him was far from clear-cut. His conviction rested on the testimony of two auditorium managers, who were clearly guilty of embezzlement themselves, and made plea deals with Sessions in return for their cooperation in prosecuting Greenough.
In the paperwork that he submitted earlier this year to the US Senate judiciary committee for his confirmation hearings, Sessions named the Greenough case as one of the 10 most significant of his career.
It was about eliminating opposition, said Danny Mims, one of Mimss sons. The reason they targeted my father was that he was really good at it.
Rejection for a federal judgeship
Activists call on the Senate to reject Jeff Sessions as attorney general in November. Photograph: Leigh Vogel/Getty Images for People For The
The fight was not only partisan but generational. Members of a so-called Old Establishment in Mobile politics were increasingly seeing their jobs, and patronage for their corporate backers, threatened by a new breed of upstarts. With Sessions as its spearhead, the establishment fought back.
Rumors began flying around Mobiles corridors of power and newspaper gossip columns about who might be next in line for indictment. The atmosphere grew increasingly febrile.
They would do it just to shake the branches, said one prominent Mobile attorney from the time, who did not want to be identified being critical of the US attorney general because he still practices law. The FBI would put people through these vague, threatening interviews, trying to get them to say things about other people.
The inquiry into Greenough was led by Jack Brennan, a senior FBI agent in Mobile who was close to Sessions. Distinctive for his puffy red face and thinning hair, Brennan would reappear several times in Sessionss cases against local Democrats. Reached by email, he did not respond to questions.
At 7am on 25 November 1985, Brennan and two other investigators paid a visit to the home of Gurney Owens, Mobile Countys top waste disposal official. Owens was in deep trouble.
He had been caught on tape soliciting a bribe from a local businessman, who had been trying to secure a landfill contract. Unknown to Owens, the businessman, Gerald Godwin, had been wearing a wire for the FBI and Sessions when the pair chatted over a breakfast of eggs, bacon and coffee at the Quality Inn.
Now the agents in his living room were telling Owens they could help him to help himself. He was facing a long prison sentence, they said, but it could be cut down to two years if he cooperated with what they and Sessions wanted.
The US attorneys office and the FBI presented to Mr Owens a hitlist of approximately 20 people that they wanted him to snare, Owenss attorney, Jim Atchison, said in a statement filed to court. It is interesting to note that every single person on the list is either a well-known Democrat or active in the Democratic party.
The county waste official said he was dumbfounded by what was being asked of him. They told me that they wanted me to wear a concealed radio transmitter and go out and talk to a number of people and see if I could involve them in something improper or illegal, Owens said in his own statement.
Sessions flatly denied the existence of a hit list, later telling US senators that Owenss allegation was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my practice of law. A justice department review agreed that the claim of a list was utterly without foundation.
But William Hinshaw, the FBI official who took over the Mobile office in 1986, said in an interview that it was feasible. It is a technique that is used, he said, noting that a justice department official should sign off on such a target list.
Owens declined to take the deal. He was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison.
Sessions would get really, really mad at my dad because my dad refused to roll over, recalled Owenss son Gerry, who said he once watched an enraged Sessions berate his father in a courthouse corridor. Hed be sitting there calm as can be, and would then explode like a firecracker.
In any case, Owens had already helped Sessions and the FBI with one of their targets. On the secret recordings, Owens was heard claiming he had been ordered to collect the bribe by Douglas Wicks, a Democratic county commissioner, who had voting power on who should win the contract.
Wicks insisted that this was merely a cover story that Owens told to make himself look better while requesting money he would actually keep himself. Sessions did not initially indict Wicks for involvement in the alleged bribery. But then came Sessionss disastrous visit to Washington DC.
Still only 39 years old, Sessions was nominated by Reagan for another promotion as a federal judge for Alabamas southern district.
Democrats in the Senate had other ideas. Members of the Senate judiciary committee voted to reject Sessions, after receiving allegations of racism toward African Americans. It was only the second time in 50 years that a nominee had been denied a federal judgeship.
Wicks, who had been the first black person elected to the Mobile County commission, had a walk-on role in the melodrama. During the Senate hearings, future vice-president Joe Biden asked Sessions if it was true that he called Wicks a nigger during a break in a court hearing in November 1981.
Sessions denied using the racist term but the allegation, coupled with other first-hand accounts of Sessions use of racially insensitive language, went some way to killing his nomination.
A few months later, his judgeship prospects in tatters, Sessions indicted Wicks after all. The indictment for extortion was publicly unveiled by Sessions two days after the Senate confirmed an attorney to take the judgeship he had been denied.
Sessions decided to go after me because he didnt get the judgeship, Wicks said, echoing remarks he made immediately after being indicted.
Sessions accused Wicks of demanding a bribe from the owner of a pumping firm in return for a permit. Owens said so, too. But the businessman testified that he voluntarily gave Wicks a campaign contribution after the permit had been given. I dont feel that I was extorted, he said.
Douglas Wicks. Photograph: Courtesy Douglas Wicks
There was also no proof offered that Wicks had received the bribes that Owens was recorded asking for. Brennan, the FBI agent, fed Godwin wads of marked $20 bills to make the bribes, and then followed Wicks around Mobile trying to catch him spending them at stores and restaurants. But none of the $20s were recovered.
The lack of any smoking gun might have seen Wicks headed for an acquittal. But something extraordinary happened in the days before his trial.
On 4 March 1987, Wicks and a friend were looking around vacant houses that had recently been bought by the city of Mobile. The structures were to be sold and moved elsewhere to make way for new construction. Wicks and his friend stopped at one house with a set of anti-burglar bars on the ground outside. They picked up the bars and threw them in their truck to sell as scrap metal.
But a man appeared and told them that he was in the process of buying the house. Where are you going with my stuff? asked the man. Wicks, who thought he recognized the man, apologized. We didnt know anybody owned this place, Wicks said. They returned the bars to where they had been found, and left.
Wicks later realized that the man who had confronted them was Brennan, the FBI agent and friend of Sessions, who had been surveilling Wicks for months for the corruption case. Wicks was charged with theft. A story about the case ran on the front page of the Mobile Register under the headline Wicks charged with felony. Days later, Wickss trial for extortion began.
It was unfair, so unfair, said Irmatean Watson, a Democratic city councilwoman at the time. It was all political. Douglas didnt do anything wrong.
Hinshaw, then the FBI field office chief, said in an interview that Sessions had personally approved the arrest of Wicks for the theft and brushed aside any concerns about political correctness or awkward timing.
He strenuously denied that the theft charge was cooked up to tarnish Wickss name before his trial. Agent Brennan insisted that he really was buying the house, and that another man named as the purchaser in the county records was acting on his behalf.
But Wicks and his attorney, Billy Kimbrough, claimed the FBI had been watching and waiting for any act by Wicks that they could make look like criminal activity. The following month the charges relating to the burglar bars were dismissed. By then, Wicks had been found guilty in the corruption trial and sentenced to 15 years in prison.
Mims was not a crook
It was the prosecution of Mims, however, that astonished even hardened Mobile political operatives. At the center of the case, wearing a wire once again, was Gerald Godwin, the same businessman who helped Sessions nail Owens and Wicks.
Godwin alleged that he had been pressured to give 40% of his company to a friend of Mimss if he wanted Mims to award him the contract to develop the recycling plant.
There was no evidence presented of such extortion, let alone Mimss knowledge of it, let alone his involvement in it. Godwin claimed to have been threatened on 30 September, yet Mims had already signed a city resolution agreeing to the plant almost a week before that. The negotiations collapsed and the plant was never built.
And yet four years after Mims had stepped down from politics, and shortly after he reappeared with his campaign for mayor Sessions proceeded with criminal charges against him.
Mims was not a crook. He would never have knowingly done anything like what they claimed, his attorney, Thomas Haas, said in a recent interview. These people were politically motivated.
After pleading not guilty, Mims told reporters that he was a victim of people who have used the system to try to destroy me politically and that the indictment had been timed to affect the outcome of the election.
The authorities had even sent an FBI agent into Mimss office, posing as an executive from a mortgage lender, and tried to make Mims reveal illegal cronyism by saying on tape that his friend would definitely be awarded the contract. But Mims was only recorded saying platitudes such as: Naturally, Id rather see local people get it rather than to bring in somebody from out of state.
So underwhelming was the evidence when played in court that the Mobile Registers front page headline the following day was: Recording reveals no wrongdoing.
Attempting to have the case thrown out, Haas called it a farce and a cruel joke. In his closing argument, he told jurors: You have wasted 10 weeks of your life. There is no evidence of any criminal activity by Mr Mims. Youve heard the evidence. Thats all there is, folks. The fat lady has sung.
After more than 20 hours of deliberations, however, the jury found Mims guilty.
Asked following the trial whether he had brought the prosecution to kill Mimss political career, Sessions said nothing could be further from the truth. These cases are based on the law and the facts and not on any other consideration, he said.
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from ‘Gun for hire’: how Jeff Sessions used his prosecuting power to target Democrats
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