#my body betrays me and i manage the consequences every day but i'll never be able to eliminate them.

[supercantaloupe]

i make this post like once a month at this point but it very much does bug me how "getting healthy" is framed as lifestyle choices that are both inaccessible to a large number of people for various reasons as well as simply physical impossibilities for another large number of people for more various reasons

[alans-maladaptive-daydreams]

The monster living in my mind. Yandere!MC x Obey Me brothers.

I've always seen fics of the brothers being yandere, which makes sense, they are demons but I think I also want to see a bit more yandere!mc so I wrote this. I didn't put a specific brother because the use of pacts and magic is a bit involved so it affects all seven equally, feel free to imagine it with whoever you want.

note: I might edit it again later to change the gender of the witch, since I don't feel completely comfortable with the female gender for the lover, I'll see if I can do it another day (cries in college student) I've been doing this for almost 3 months now so I just want to finish it lol.

Warnings: Violence, mutilation of the human body (self-harm and injury to a third party), infidelity, mental illness, insecurity, and insults related to someone's sex life. (I think that's all if there should be anything else I will edit it immediately, suggestions are very welcome). No-native writing, corrections are welcome.

Reader: Gender neutral.

Genre: Yandere and explicit violence.

Masterlist

You had always managed to control those negative feelings that consumed your brain. Those feelings that made you think that the person you loved was betraying you, those same feelings that convinced you that you deserved it because after all you will never be enough.

Although you were a very jealous person, you rarely showed it to your partner. You suffered in silence and sometimes even other people paid the consequences of your moodiness and insecurities.

Your jealousy sometimes terrified you, the thought of ripping the throat out of anyone who had the slightest romantic or sexual interest in your partner was not uncommon in your head. Sometimes your brain played tricks on you, convincing you that you should make them understand that no one would love them more than you. They belonged to you.

You were aware that these thoughts were dangerous, you usually pushed them into the deepest and darkest depths of your being because, in the end, it was all part of your imagination and insecurities.

You had different partners, and none of them gave you a reason to distrust or get violent treatment from you. So even though you brutally disliked certain friends of your exes, you never said a word and preferred to ignore the violent flame inside you.

That was until you met him, a beautiful demon from head to toe who, while you brought out the best in him, he brought out the worst in you.

Many of your insecurities were drowned out as you moved through life together, yet they never completely disappeared.

The violent feelings became almost extinct, but they were still there, waiting to be fulfilled at the right time.

That's why you were visiting your psychologist almost daily, that violent insecurity resurfaced.

It resurfaced like an unstoppable flame, a bomb waiting to explode.

In a constant state of nervousness, your body trembled every time your boyfriend had an attitude that made you distrust him.

It started out as something you chose to ignore, but it never left a good taste in your mouth. All of his devices now had a different password than the one you knew.

When you questioned him, afraid of making him think you were invading his privacy, he simply replied "Security", you didn't dare ask him for the new passwords because you feared it would make you look bad.

Your second sign was his obvious nervousness every time he received a message or a call which, of course, he had to take in private.

It was then that you decided to blindly trust your boyfriend and avoid at any cost those thoughts that were taking away your sanity.

However things became more evident, from cancelled dates, strange looks at RAD, his brothers' nervousness when you asked for his whereabouts, his disappearance for hours at a time with ambiguous explanations. The relationship became weird, to the point that your boyfriend couldn't even look you in the eye every time you met because he didn't even have time for you, in his words; he had too much work to do.

That part of you that you thought you had buried was resurfacing, but much more violent, psychotic and anxious.

It was as if your brain was screaming at you in a loud voice "He's cheating on you, kill that slut so he can see who he's fucking with".

The thought of your beloved boyfriend with someone else disgusted you and made you completely sick.

It was then that something in you changed. You don't know what it was exactly, and you can't explain in what moment you started to think like that. It just happened, it was as if that sick and violent being that had always lived in you had finally found a way out, and you decided to accept it because, after all, that was your reality.

"We're demons, you're stupid for thinking he wouldn't cheat on you. "The demon mocked you as she showed you a video in which her friend, a witch, and your beloved boyfriend were the main characters in a sexual scene so repulsive that your stomach turned inside out creating a pain you never thought you would be able to feel.

With trembling legs and a broken heart, you walked to the bathroom holding back your tears and the vomit that threatened to come out. The demon watched you walk with perhaps the saddest look she had ever seen on you.

As soon as you entered the bathroom, you stuck your head in the sink, completely emptying your stomach.

Your cold fingers ran over the dark circles under your eyes, caused by sleepless nights of overthinking the whole situation. You reached down to your lips, covered in the residue of breakfast, and with a trembling hand, you stilled the sob of pain that shot through you like a bullet.

Tears soon overflowed from your eyes as your heavy breathing forced you to crouch on the floor, making yourself as small as possible, as if that way you could avoid the intense pain you felt. Your fingernails reached your scalp, digging violently into it, causing blood to slowly stain your hands.

"'Son of a bitch" you whispered.

You were going to kill him. Him and his fucking whore.

You were going to eat his brains while his brothers watch your feast.

Or better, you were going to rip every fingernail off his body, every finger, every tooth and make a beautiful necklace.

You'd open his head like a jar and eat his insides for breakfast.

You were going to tear him apart piece by piece. You were going to burn every part of his body that you touched until you saw living flesh.

Although you knew you were only a mere human, you also knew that the pact that bound your souls together was your greatest weapon. You were not the same human that had started the exchange program, you were a powerful sorcerer and you had seen death with your own eyes, you were not afraid. You were going to ruin his fucking life.

"Sometimes demons need a show of dominance to know their place, you must prepare yourself because eventually, that day will come". Your master had told you a long time ago. You never thought that day would come so soon.

You stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror, the wounds on your scalp looked deep enough for blood to drip down your face.

"MC? Fuck, I didn't know you'd get like that, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have shown you that." The demoness approached you with a worried expression. She placed a hand on your back to comfort you.

"No, thanks. I needed to see it."

Your cold tone sent a shiver down the girl's spine, without looking at her you headed for the exit and before you left she said; "Don't blame her, okay? I know you know her and you exchanged a couple of words. She's not a bad person, it was just a mistake."

"I don't give a fuck, he was my fucking boyfriend, she knew that." with that, you walked out of the bathroom and headed straight to the House of Lamentations.

That day you locked yourself in your room and refused to let anyone in. They were all traitors, they always knew about his affair with his mistress and didn't have the balls to tell you.

Every time you remembered how they told you they appreciated you and thanked you for saving their family your stomach would drop. You no longer saw them as your friends, they were just disgusting beings who needed a reminder of who was in charge.

For seven days you didn't sleep, you didn't go to RAD and you didn't eat. For seven days you watched your boyfriend's every move, his whore's every move. Every move was etched in your brain like a tattoo. You didn't need to think about it for a second to recite it out loud.

By the end of the week, everything you had been repressing and controlling for years had come to light. What you had always been was now comfortable in your brain, the insecurity was gone, but the violence was more alive than ever.

At the end of the seventh day, in the middle of the night, what you had always feared became your nature.

You grabbed your bag and left your room, leaving it secured in case any of the brothers tried to break in, a spell that would shatter any limb that even accidentally touched your door.

"MC?" you heard one of his brothers say, but you ignored him. You were too focused on your plan.

Behind the House Of Lamentations was the place where you opened a portal, one straight to her lover's house. You didn't hesitate for a second to walk through it, standing right in the entrance hallway.

Your ears heard what you had always feared.

The familiar moans along with a not-so-familiar voice. The sharp movement of the bed's wood.

The love you had once felt for him disappeared completely.

You walked through the dark house, trusting your hearing until you reached the door.

Before you opened it you contemplated all that you were putting at stake in carrying out your desires. You contemplated whether it was really worth it. However, that little spark of reasoning vanished as soon as it arrived.

You set your bag aside and opened it.

The heavy hammer saw the moonlight for the first time since you had bought it. You held on tight and opened the door.

If at any time your sanity was present during all that suffering, after what you saw that night it not only disappeared, you killed it and buried it deep inside your annihilated and diseased self.

Silently you approached him and the first blow was directly to his head. Knocking him unconscious instantly.

The whore looked at you with frightened eyes and screamed trying to get the heavy body off her.

"Do you like getting into other people's relationships?" you asked, grabbing her hair in a fist and dragging her into the living room.

"You're fucking insane!" she screamed as she kicked and struggled with your violent grip. You lifted her body roughly and slammed her against the hard wall, squatted down and with your hand gripping her hair you forced her to look at you.

"Do you like messing with other people's relationships?" you asked again. She tried to defend herself from you with a pathetic and weak spell. You laughed and grabbed her face violently. "That's your attempt to save yourself? You should put a little more enthusiasm into it, like when you spread your legs like the whore you are."

She perhaps saw that she really couldn't against you, after all she knew who you were and she knew that no one could control the seven princes of hell as easily as you, so she felt that her only solution was to kneel at your feet and beg for forgiveness, praying for sanity to return to your mind, for your humanity to win over that monster that had awoken.

"I'm sorry," she cried, her voice heavy with fear. "I won't get into your relationship again" she grabbed your legs begging for your forgiveness over and over again.

"I hope it was worth it," you muttered as you grabbed her hair again to drag her into the dining room.

"What are you going to do?" she asked between sobs still clutching your arm, in an attempt to loosen your hard grip.

"You'll see." you smiled as you picked her up and slammed her down on the table in the middle of the room, causing her bones to crack slightly. "Or you may not survive to find out." You placed a hand on her chest as she tried to get up quickly and with a simple spell you completely paralyzed her body.

Her eyes widened gigantically and as she tried to scream for help you pulled the rest of your things out of your bag.

"It's no use, try screaming all you want, no one will hear you."

"What the fuck are you doing MC?" The voice of the main character appeared behind you. You turned to see him, blood was pouring from his head and he was in his demonic form in all his glory.

He was the love of your life, but if he couldn't play fair you would have to get rid of him, and you knew it would hurt you more than him.

"Don't worry, you'll be the only audience to this wonderful show I call 'Whore Anatomy, for cheating boyfriends'. Sit down and shut your mouth." He rushed over to you, intending to stop you. "Sit down, and shut your mouth." you repeated in a loud, clear voice. The pact worked its magic and your boyfriend was sitting there staring at you with undecipherable eyes.

"You know I love you, don't you? That's why I'm doing this because I love you and you must not disappoint those who would give their lives for you," you said as you took different things out of your bag.

You looked at all your instruments and thought carefully about what to start with, the excitement made your skin crawl. You didn't expect it to be so exciting.

"So, that's why I'm going to show you that this bitch isn't worth what I'm worth and hasn't done what I've done for you. It will be…educational." your eyes sparkled at the sight of the sharp scalpel. You took it and showed it to your boyfriend. "Pick a portion of the head. Ears, nose, eyes…" your kind smile faded as you saw his expression of fear, your hand slammed violently against his cheek and you repeated. "Choose a portion of the head. Ears, nose or eyes."

"Eyes…" he whispered to your surprise.

"Wow, I didn't expect you to go straight to it." You laughed and approached the witch, who was silently praying. "Stop praying, hoes don't go to heaven." With your fingers you opened her eyelids and showed her the scalpel. "Eyes are a hollow, fibrous globe, we use them to see beautiful things and to see unpleasant things. Whores, like your friend here, use it to track down men in relationships and crawl like a snake to get some cock" you muttered as your scalpel pierced the socket of the girl, who was crying and trying to scream, or so you thought after all her mouth was sealed.

As your sharp scalpel pierced the socket, her quiet cries became more erratic. " Quiet." you murmured, trying not to lose your concentration. Your index finger buried itself in her lacrimal duct pressing hard in an attempt to pry the eye out as cleanly as possible. Blood stained your fingers and the witch's constant attempts at movement were beginning to annoy you. "Stop or I'll cut your fucking eyelids off."

When she calmed down, you took the opportunity to completely bury your finger in the lacrimal, practically ripping the eye out of its socket and cut the nerve that attached it to her body.

You looked at the orb with pride and showed it to your boyfriend. "I pulled it off pretty well, don't you think?"

Your boyfriend looked at you with a strange look on his face, one you couldn't quite figure out. However, the game had only just begun, and the excitement was altering every part of your body.

Morning came, and your boyfriend woke up to the sun shining directly on his face. He looked around when the reality of everything that had happened the night before hit him violently.

"Good morning." You smiled brightly. "Go get changed and make me breakfast, the ingredients are in the freezer." you pointed to the kitchen as you lazily flipped through the channels.

Your boyfriend looked around, everything seemed normal, as if nothing had happened. He was a demon thousands of years old, he'd seen and done some fucked up shit but what he'd seen you do surpassed anything he'd ever lived through.

He've never seen a human look so… happy while mutilating a living person piece by piece.

He had never seen your smile and gaze as bright as it was last night.

He walked over to the fridge and opened the freezer, finding his mistress's frozen head, along with different pieces of her body separated into containers.

"So? Any idea what you're going to make?" you asked as you sat down on the island with a quiet smile.

It was then that he realized who was in front of him.

The monster watched him curiously as they rocked back and forth gently, perhaps trying to soothe the voices that were tormenting their deteriorated mind.

He realized that he had never truly met the depths of your being, that your loving, human form was nothing more than a barrier to prevent the one thing you yourself feared from coming to light.

But now… you seemed comfortable with this new nature of yours.

Too comfortable for his liking.

[mistaeq]

Nijimura Keicho: You were always holding me back.

TW // abuse, kinda angsty

This was not a request, and there's no reader insert. I felt the need to write it. It's based on Stromae's song Papaoutai. Hope you like it.

Where Nijimura Keicho tells mom about his life.

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

Tell me where he comes from, at least I'll know where to go, mommy says that when you look hard, you always find something.

1983, October. He's so tired, mom, he's so tired. I'm so tired, mom, I'm so tired. Nijimura Keicho's head feels the heaviest. I'm so tired, he thinks, tired of not ever seeing dad. His old man smiles, his old man laughs, but when it comes to taking care of him, he steps away, faster than a scared fox. He says he loves his wife and his son. I'm so tired, yeah he's so tired. Tired of seeing his mom pretending everything is totally fine. But she has to. She has to relax. Mom is beautiful, mom is the most amazing woman. Keicho loves mom. He spends a lot of time with her, she likes singing while she cooks. Her voice is amazing. Keicho loves laying on the couch with her. Keicho loves listening to what is going on inside her growing belly. Mom is pregnant. It's a question of few days, for her to give birth to his little brother.

She says he's never very far away, he leaves very often for work. Mommy says "working is good", better than being in bad company... right?

1984, February. He's so angry, mom, he's so angry. I'm so angry, mom, I'm so angry. His father smiles, his father laughs. How can he be in peace with himself? When months ago, she gave birth to their new little treasure, Okuyasu, he was away for work. Two-year-old Keicho never forgot it. Keicho was so angry. Angry at his old man, when he kissed his mom. Angry at his old man, when he caressed his little brother. Talking about him, Keicho loved him. He was so small, so defenseless against his father's hypocritical hands. Okuyasu loved his aniki back. The little one would grip Keicho's hand, and never let go. He would have never remembered that, growing up. But Keicho always had that memory in his mind. Forever and ever, until he died.

Where’s your dad? Tell me where’s your dad? Without even having to talk to him, he knows something's wrong.

1987, July. He's so desperate, mom, he's so desperate. I'm so desperate, mom, I'm so desperate. Why did you have to die? His old man smiles, his old man laughs. His old man fell into depression. Keicho, now a six-year-old, knows. This is so stressful. He can't even mourn his late mother. Because he has to stay strong. Mom is gone. Dad is depressed and will scream the whole day, scaring the little one. This results in Keicho being Okuyasu's only hope to smile. Keicho is so desperate, so desperate in seeing his mother's stuff still in their house, so desperate when his little sibling asks, in tears, where mommy is. How do you tell a three-year-old that his mom is now an angel? How do you wipe his tears and lie, telling him everything's gonna be okay?

Oh damn dad, tell me where you’re hiding. I must’ve counted my fingers, at least a trillion times.

1989, April. He's so pained, mom, He's so pained. I'm so pained, mom, I'm so pained. We miss you, mom. They miss you, mom. It's the fourth time this year. Dad receives gold and jewels from someone. He's mad. He's mad. Keicho doesn't know what's going on. Keicho knows his dad's economical struggles are gone. But he's not any better. Money won't solve the heavy depression mom's death created. Keicho feels that on his body so many times. Keicho always makes sure he's his father's target. Keicho sometimes fails. That's when he notices that failing is awful. Failing is for weak people. And he doesn't want to be weak. Because every time he fails in being his father's target, the old, damned man abuses Okuyasu's little fragile body. How can you abuse your five-year-old son and sleep at night? Who gives you that gold and jewels? Just take me, Keicho thinks. Don't touch my brother.

Even if we believe it or not, there’ll be a day we won’t believe it anymore. One day we’ll all be dads, and from one day to the other we’ll disappear.

1989, November. He's so scared, mom, he's so scared. I'm so scared, mom, I'm so scared. Help them. Help us. This is not their father. Keicho has just come back from school, his brother hand in hand with him. The old man is screaming. Screaming on the ground, about somebody who's died. He looks like a monster, when his face shows, almost green and ruined. Keicho doesn't flinch. Keicho has to be strong. He has to be strong for the small and innocent hands that are now gripping the back of his shirt, crying. He always holds him back. Okuyasu has always held him back. Keicho offers to call an ambulance. But this is no illness. "The flesh bud has gone berserk", he just screams. What's a flesh bud? He's so scared, he's so scared, when his old man runs off, leaving the two of them speechless, the only sounds to be heard are the noisy clock and Okuyasu's terrified sniffles.

Will we be hated? Will we be admired? Just passing on genes or geniuses? Tell us who gives birth to these irresponsible people?

1990, August. He's so hopeless, mom, he's so hopeless. I'm so hopeless, mom, I'm so hopeless. The old man is a glob of flesh, now. A glob of flesh that can't even tell they're his sons anymore. But their scars, can still tell a terrifying story of abuse and fear. Okuyasu is old enough. He doesn't need Keicho anymore. But now, he had relied on his aniki too much. Okuyasu is weak. And Keicho hates weakness. But Keicho knows it's his fault, too. He's only nine years old. And now he's the one who has to raise his little brother. And he's gonna raise him as a winner. Losers ruin everything. His father was a loser, and all he obtained from this was selling his soul and becoming a glob of shit. Nijimura Keicho now hates losers. Nijimura Keicho's heart starts hardening. Nijimura Okuyasu is the one who gets the consequences of this. Nijimura Okuyasu, becomes a loser to his aniki's eyes.

Tell us who, look. Everyone knows how to make babies, but no one knows how to make dads. Mr. Know-It-All must’ve inherited it.

1993, December. He's so annoyed, mom, he's so annoyed. I'm so annoyed, mom, I'm so annoyed. Keicho just can't keep up with school. He wants to do lots. He wants to be like other kids. He'd love to have friends to bring home. He can't. Keicho is annoyed, because he's the one who skips lessons, to take care of their useless father. Okuyasu came home, saying he's now friends with a boy. This is not fucking fair. Keicho loves his brother. But his brother is a loser, already. If losers get friends who tell them they're enough, they'll never shine bright like they should. Why Okuyasu can go out, make friends and take it easy? Why? Keicho punches his little brother, that day. He does it. Then he announces they both will abandon school. All the hate and the frustration Keicho has kept in his heart, all these years being held back because of his brother's sniffles and tears, detonates like a bomb on Okuyasu, whose innocency completely crumbles down. Then, he kicks his father's gross body. "WILL YOU STOP TOUCHING THAT FUCKING BOX?"

Maybe you need to wing it or something? Tell us where they’re hiding. We must’ve bitten our fingers, at least a billion times.

1999, September. He's so disgusted, mom, he's so disgusted. I'm so disgusted, mom, I'm so disgusted. Morioh Cho is a complete change of atmosphere. Every morning Keicho wakes up, and braids his long, blond lock of hair. Every morning Okuyasu wakes up, and fixes his hair in a small pompadour. They're men now. Keicho is so disgusted. So disgusted by the bow and arrow he holds, so disgusted by his brother, now betraying him. So disgusted by his father, who managed to have his family photo fixed by Higashikata Josuke. So disgusted by his life. Okuyasu's eyes had never been so deep and sad, when he asks his aniki to let go of the bow and arrow. Okuyasu's body had never been so warm and dear, when Keicho desperately pushes him aside, saving him from a certain death against Red Hot Chili Pepper. Keicho is disgusted by his brother. Keicho is disgusted by how much he cares about Okuyasu. Keicho is disgusted by everything hurting his brother. Before he dies, Keicho realizes all he wanted was giving a future to Okuyasu. And all he did was denying it to him. Nijimura Keicho has always been held back from his brother. "You were always... holding me back..." He tells Okuyasu, before dying. Yes. Always holding him back from being disgusted by himself. It was a thank you.

"Keicho? Keicho?" it feels like an angel is talking. "Come here, Keicho..." He's wandering in a blinding light. That voice. He may never mistake it with someone else's. That voice.

1999, September. He's dead, mom, he's dead. I'm dead, mom, I'm dead. He's now in peace. His mother's voice told him he's done great. He tries not to feel sure about this. But he can't. Nijimura Keicho really has done great. He's dead now, and wanders in a bright, blinding light, until something, until someone, hugs him from behind. He missed you, mom. I missed you, mom. She moves, like a feather. She's always been gentle. She's always been amazing. Mom says he's beautiful. Mom says he's been a great brother. And after all, mom says Okuyasu is safe. Okuyasu will become a great man. And that he'll always treasure Keicho's teachings. A couple of bitter tears fall down the man's cheeks, and he'd be normally disgusted. But now he's dead. And he's done great. Mom said that. So he smiles, while her gentle hands wipe his tears off. He follows her in the core of that blinding light. He follows her. Forever.

"In the very end... my brother defended me, didn't he?" Keicho heard that, hand in hand with his mother, walking in that neverending light. Keicho heard his brother's words. "Josuke... you saw it, right?" He sounded desperate. Yes. Keicho defended him. Because Keicho knew Okuyasu would have made him proud.