#my biggest turn on is making butches lose all control | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pipipinyyy · 3 years ago

Text

Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

#Spotify #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #niragi #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #character playlist #aib niragi #aib #overanalyzing niragi is my favorite hobby

41 notes · View notes

woman-loving · 4 years ago

Text

minimizing and maximizing lesbian identities

Selection from “Identity Crises: Who is a Lesbian, Anyway?” by Vera Whisman, in Sisters, Sexperts, Queers: Beyond the Lesbian Nation, ed Arlene Stein, 1993.

This process of defining who is a lesbian is much more than a word game. It is a collective attempt to make sense of our history, figure out our present, and strategize for our future. It lurks beneath contemporary debates about bisexuality, butch-femme roles, and s/m sexuality. It haunts our discussions of political strategies, such as separatism and assimilation. And lately, this process of definition is posing vexing questions which seem ever more difficult to answer.

The theory of lesbian feminism once promised an alternative to patriarchal culture, where differences of race and class would disappear under the force of sisterhood, and where differences in sexual tastes would disappear under the force of consciousness-raising. But many women not only refused to ignored difference, they actually began to embrace it, and to rub up against boundaries. We haven’t all rallied around a shared identity as lesbians; today we don’t even agree on what the word means. Does that mean our movement is losing its base--or that the base is becoming broader and more diverse? [...]

Every definition has placed some lesbians in the blessed inner circle and some outside it. Is a woman who identifies herself as a dyke but who’s never slept with a woman a lesbian? Is a lesbian who sleeps with men really a lesbian? What about a lesbian who sleeps with women, but has had a primarily heterosexual past? If she becomes involved with a man next year, was she ever a true lesbian? [...]

Identities are often difficult to pin down. They are diverse and multiple. It’s impossible to identify with a single conception of a “woman” or a “lesbian.” For we can only believe in “the lesbian” by downplaying differences, by obscuring parts of our lives. in the 1970s, lesbians who would not ignore gender chose lesbian feminism over the gay rights movement. Today, a generation of younger lesbians, refusing to ignore differences of sexuality, are helping to construct the new queer culture. Women from both age cohorts are claiming the importance of their ethnic, racial and class identities. And, increasingly, we are all realizing that identities are multiple and complex.

As Shane Phelan, a philosopher, puts it, “The struggles of lesbians over the past thirty years should tell us that people are not ‘actually like’ anything.”[14] But if there is no timeless and essential lesbianism, what is the proper hook on which we can hang our political actions? What, in other words, are our common interests? What do lesbians really want? If “the lesbian” is nothing more than a shifting definition, is there any way to answer these questions?

If we can answer them at all, we may have to do so in a tentative fashion, specific to our time and place. That means dealing with contradictions. It means abandoning the search for consistency. To use critic Ann Snitow’s term, sometimes we need to “minimize” lesbian identity by constantly pushing against the borders; at other times we need to “maximize” it.[15] We minimize identity when we refuse to be controlled by it, when we expand the ways to be a lesbian. There are ways in which both lesbian feminists and lesbian queers dream of a world without sexual identity, a world where homosexuality doesn’t exist because heterosexuality doesn’t exist either.

But even the dreamers have to deal with the world, a world where it is at times necessary to maximize our shared lesbian identity, to proclaim our common needs and demand that they be met. Our politics must negotiate this duality; neither maximizing nor minimizing lesbian identities is sufficient in itself.

We have seen the problems of the maximizing approach--the construction of rigid, suffocating, and at least implicitly racist understandings of “lesbian” and her culture, ethics, and politics. But wholesale minimizing runs the risk of making us disappear before we’ve changed the world. If we deconstruct before they deconstruct, we end up in a situation where “the rich as well as the poor are forbidden to sleep under bridges,” where equality is defined as blindness to real difference. We have to minimize and maximize, create unities and simultaneously see them as false, build boundaries around ourselves, and, at the same time, smash them.

Years ago, I pried myself loose from a white, middle-class, vacuous culture and ran into the protective arms of the “lesbian community.” Now, as the basis of that community is revealed to be a fiction, I feel cut adrift. I ask my lover, “Where does all of this leave us? Out there?” But she cannot talk. She’s out on strike and is on her way to walk the picket line. In her union, she has pushed for domestic partner benefits, for a sexual harassment policy, and for the biggest raises for the lowest-paid. Through her efforts, I’m beginning to acknowledge that it is not uniformly ugly “out there.” But the path that once seemed clear to me has more twists and turns now, and I can only see what’s just ahead.

What is a lesbian? Who is a lesbian? One woman says it’s her lust that makes her a lesbian, even if she admits that she likes men, too. Another says that it’s her choice to surround herself with a community of women. A third talks in terms of her deeply felt sense that she is different, queer. In the end, a lesbian must simply be any woman who calls herself one, understanding that we place ourselves within that category, drawing and redrawing the boundaries in ever-shifting ways. For there is no essential and timeless lesbian, but instead lesbians who, by creating our lives day by day, widen the range of possibilities.

#lgbtq #lesbianism #what is a lesbian #presenting this more as an example of discourse than a wholly accurate narrative of developments among lesbians #also notice: questions about lesbian identity are asked in the context of defining lesbian politics #in comparison to how; in the next to last entry in my 'what is a lesbian tag'; they were asked in the context of a literary project #the boundaries of groups are defined in reference to particular goals/projects #*'what is a lesbian' tag; the tag part is not part of the tag

37 notes · View notes

boasamishipper · 6 years ago

Text

endgame review (spoilers!!!)

okay so now that i’ve finally stopped crying and had a good night’s sleep here are all of my thoughts on avengers endgame:

things i liked:

the opening scene with clint losing his wife and kids -- my heart was in my throat the whole time; i felt so so bad for him

nebula and tony bonding

steve getting rid of that beard like thank god

tony and pepper reuniting

tony FINALLY telling steve off for everything; as a lifelong tony stan this was super cathartic

scott reuniting with cassie; in fact, all of scott’s scenes were awesome

bonus - the fact that the only reason any of this was able to happen was because a rat accidentally turned the machine back on

the fact that tony got married to pepper!!! and had a daughter!!! he was such a good dad to baby morgan i loved it

carol’s new haircut 👌 👌 👌

tony looking at peter’s picture 😭 😭😭

“shit :)”

“i love you 3000″

all of the time travel scenes. did the rules make sense? nope. did i love seeing the crew go back in time to all of the previous avengers movies and see their past selves and fuck around with the timeline? absolutely.

going off that -- getting to see all the minor characters like jane and frigga and hank was awesome. i loved the entire time heist plot.

loki making fun of cap by transforming into him

“hail hydra” followed by that smirk (and the fact that they made fun of the whole hydra!cap thing was awesome)

the cap vs cap fight

thor getting to talk to his mother

tilda swinton’s character and bruce talking. seeing her again was def a surprise.

nebula and gamora talking and teaming up to fuck thanos over. karen gillam was great in this film.

tony getting to talk to his father (and the fact that the code name he used was howard potts like??? i cry)

“we’re a long way from budapest” be still my 2013 clintasha heart

the new infinity gauntlet being made out of tony’s iron man hand

the fact that they brought everyone back without fucking up the timeline. i was so worried they’d have to erase tony’s kid from existence but they didn’t so thank god.

steve wielding mjolnir. ngl that was pretty cool.

EVERYONE COMING BACK!!! (i knew it was coming. everyone knew it was coming. but it was still great to see.)

steve saying “avengers assemble”

PETER AND TONY’S REUNION!!! (i waited an entire fucking year for this and it was WORTH IT)

PEPPER FIGHTING ALONGSIDE TONY!!! HOPE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE SCOTT!!! battle couple goals :D

“hey peter parker”

“i am inevitable.” “i am...iron man.” S O B B I N G

tony’s death. like am i sad that tony died??? 150%. but it made narrative sense, he got to be happy with his kid and pepper (for however brief of a time), he found the loophole in time travel that allowed him to save everybody, and he dusted thanos. “you can rest now.” 😭😭😭 a fitting ending for the strongest avenger.

the entire funeral scene. the viking funeral wreath thing with the “proof tony stark has a heart” on it??? GOOD SHIT. i was bawling.

happy and morgan. that kid’s going to have happy wrapped around her little finger.

tony’s final message

the thorkyrie scene (even if i didn’t like what was being said i’m glad they shared some screentime.)

harley coming back!!!

sam becoming captain america (THANK GOD)

the end credits with rdj (the man who singlehandedly made the mcu amazing) being billed last. the theater was cheering and crying at the same time and it was amazing.

the final bit at the end with the noise from tony making his first suit. 😭😭😭

things i didn’t like:

the way they treated thor. taika made thor so amazing in ragnarok and the russos (and the screenwriters) got jealous and shit all over it!!! wtf!!! (and all of the fat jokes and jokes about his ptsd were NOT cool. didn’t like rocket slapping him out of his panic attack either.) can’t believe they made him an alcoholic who sits on his ass and plays fortnite all day. wtf.

for that matter -- i CANNOT believe that he would just up and fuck off with the guardians of the galaxy and abandon his people. is valkyrie a worthy leader??? absolutely. but so is thor!!! that was his entire arc in endgame like WTF!!!! (also the fact that we didn’t get a thorkyrie kiss is fucking CRIMINAL)

also why couldn’t he keep the short hair??? why did he have to get mjolnir back when taika went to all the trouble of showing he didn’t need the hammer to be a hero? did they just want to fuck up EVERYTHING that taika did?

the ending for steve. ‘nuff said.

no you know what? i’m going to go into this further. do i like steve? no. i never have. his actions toward tony in civil war put him on my shitlist forever, and that’s all i am willing to say about that. but you expect me to believe that steve fucking rogers (who KNEW that peggy moved on, lived a good life and had a husband and kids) really went back and fucked up the timeline just to be with her? he barely knew her!! they barely bonded in the first avenger at all!! also there are so many plotholes with how in the world he managed that (what happened when the other cap woke up from the ice???) also does this mean that his ‘romance’ with sharon is technically incest??? and did he just live out the rest of his life with peggy knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra? insert “it’s bad writing” gif here.

(i am glad that he passed the shield onto sam though. bucky would have been a terrible choice for captain america.)

ALSO. you know who would have been a better choice to go back in time and live the rest of their life with the people that they loved and could not be with due to reasons outside their control? CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. let her go back in time and live a happy life with her wife and kid. #carolmaria4evr

the fact that natasha died instead of clint. i literally cannot fucking believe that they fridged the first female avenger just for clint’s (and everyone’s) man pain. it was bad enough when they fridged gamora for thanos’s man pain. clint should have died in nat’s place and the fact that he didn’t is a huge fucking cop out and that’s the that on that.

for that matter -- clint’s entire storyline prior to going back in time was WILD. his only explanation for killing all those people was “thanos snapped half the universe and you didn’t die so imma kill you.” FUCKING WHAT????

the fact that the russos are patting themselves on the back for their “woke lgbt rep” that was actually just a “leave for the bathroom and miss it” extra. you know what would have been better? a stucky ending. a sambucky ending. carol going home to monica and maria. valkyrie kissing a girl. ANYTHING would have been better than that.

speaking of carol -- she was CRIMINALLY underused in this movie. she was barely shown mourning fury (and also!!! why did we get no confirmation about monica and maria????) and barely spoke to the team in general. i thought she was going to have a major role (and would help them go back in time) but she didn’t and that disappointed me.

did i like the fact that she destroyed thanos’s fleet? yes. but i wish she was used more. she’s the most powerful avenger ever!!! and i wish that she got to speak more with tony as they’re friends in the comics.

(BRIE LARSON IS AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS AND THEY BARELY USED HER!!! LIKE WTF)

i won’t even get into the makeup thing bc that’s already been said and done. actually no i will. there was no reason for her to have perfect hair and lipstick and makeup. that’s not who she is. please let butch ladies continue to be butch please and thank you.

the fact that they didn’t bring gamora and natasha back :(

this might be controversial but i didn’t love the fact that pepper and tony suddenly retired to a lakehouse and became stay at home parents. i was totally expecting pepper and tony to keep running stark industries and make it into a charity organization that helped people in need/those affected by the snap.

the fact that they never fucking explained how time travel worked and WHY they couldn’t just go back and kill thanos as a baby (that was a good suggestion!). and the thing where nebula shot her past self and somehow lived??? it made no sense. i mean. i know it’s bad writing. but i was expecting it to be at least a LITTLE better. where are my explanations.

speaking of bad writing -- did the avengers ever come out and say the reason that everyone got dusted? did everyone know it was bc of thanos? why are some places in such states of disrepair and others are not? who ruled wakanda since shuri and t’challa were dusted? so many unanswered questions. rip.

the directing of the final battle was on par with the throne room battle scene in the last jedi in that both are chaotic and messy and that’s the that on that. as was the scene where hawkeye was beating up the yakuza. messy. lame. yawn.

the scene with all of the female superheroes. was it cool? sure. do i wish natasha could have been there? YES. do i wish that the mcu had more female superheroes? DOUBLE YES. was it a blatant attempt for the russos to pat themselves on the back and be like “sEE!! WE’RE FEMINISTS!!! LOOK AT US!!”?? definitely.

honestly, i was expecting the acting to be way worse than it was based on how all my mutuals were going off about it. overall, though, it was clear in some scenes that the actors had no idea what the context of their lines were and the acting was pretty meh throughout, and for the biggest marvel movie of the year the acting should be a damn sight better than “meh”. but this just reinforces what i know already, which is that the russos are shitty directors. get them as far away from the mcu as possible please and thank you.

things i wish we got:

a carolmaria reunion

a peter&may reunion

a fury&everyone (and esp a fury&carol reunion)

clint sacrificing himself instead of nat sacrificing herself

valkyrie talking to thor about overcoming alcoholism and ptsd

thor staying in new asgard with his people

steve going back and dancing with peggy like he promised and THEN going back to the future (where all of his friends are) and retiring or helping fury bring back shield.

better writers

better directors

an end credits scene that set up phase 4 (tho i assume we will be getting that in spiderman far from home)

tldr - thor got fucked over. tony is a hero and the love of my life. steve shouldn’t have gone back in time to be with peggy. nat shouldn’t have been fridged. the writing was meh and the directing was worse. not the complete and utter shitshow i was expecting, but not the so-called greatest movie in the mcu. give rdj an honorary oscar. 6/10.

#personal #my stuff #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #endgame review #endgame salt #kind of??#marvel spoilers #mcu spoilers #well this got a lot longer than i expected #this is very rambly please enjoy

6 notes · View notes

news-monda · 4 years ago

Text

0 notes

daveliuz · 4 years ago

Text

0 notes

news-sein · 4 years ago

Text

0 notes

news-lisaar · 4 years ago

Text

0 notes

chiliscale · 5 years ago

Photo

“12 Days Of Wincestmas” for Kay.

Day 12: How dark you like it?

This is the second try of dark fanfiction so please be gentle. I hope you like it :)

I already had the last day written but I’ll wait patiently until you submit this one and as soon as I see it, I’ll submit it off Anon :D

TW: BDSM, humiliation, orgasm denial, blood, blood-sucking, blood-drinking and I think I don’t forget anything 😅

Note: The italic are conversations set inside Sam and Dean’s mind.

I’ve changed this two times because I didn’t like the result, but this isn’t so bad, I think.

*************************************

“How dark you like it?”

Those were the words that Sam had heard at least once when he was a demon-blood addict, when he fell in the Cage with Lucifer and Michael and when he recovered his memories of when he had no soul.

Those were the same words that Dean heard the hours he was a vampire, when the Mark of Cain took control of his actions and he turned into a demon and when the Michael of the Apocalypse World took control of him, because angels are dicks but they are also curious about human emotions.

“What do you mean with dark?”, Sam and Dean had said, their hearts pounding hard inside their chest.

“How dark are your feelings about your brother?”, each of those creatures had said.

“It isn’t right…”

“You’re wrong. You feel that. I can see inside your heart, I can touch your feelings. We are one, you can’t lie to me. You can’t.”

Sam and Dean both had to admit that the images projected inside their skull were none but arousing. The taste of Dean’s blood tasted sweet, and the iron taste made it addictive. Inside Dean’s mind, the First Blade made art using Sam as his canvas while his aching cock barely touched his little brother’s body. After all the imaginary hickey, kisses, bites and all the blood, they had the grossest sex they could even imagine.

“Tell me what you want”, ‘Sam’ said with a low voice that made Dean shiver.

“Please, Sammy, let me go...”

“You’re lying. After all the fun we had you’re saying you wanna let go like this?”, Sam retorted taking Dean’s hardness in one of his hands to make it fall on his body again. Dean moaned to the sensation of Sam’s warm palm around his cock.

“See? You don’t want me to let you go.”

“I don’t want things to be this way. I love you.”

“So I do, Dean. But this- You can’t deny that this is better than the sex you have with some random chick. You want this, Dean. You want to be like this in front of me. You always wanted it.”

“No, I never wanted this. I want you, yeah, that’s true, but not like this.”

Dean’s voice cracked and because of the sudden movements of his chest, Sam knew he would cry at any moment.

“This is who I truly am, Dean. How do you dare to don’t love me this way?”

Sam give Dean’s dick a few strokes until the man lifted himself as much as he could to keep feeling Sam’s hand but when the younger realized that, he left his brother’s manhood.

“Sam, please…”

“You don’t give me orders. No more. I won’t follow orders from anyone. Now I’m powerful, Dean. And you should respect that, you should respect me.”

Sam was hungry for lust, he had hungry for Dean. Sam made Dean beg for everything -for Sam to fuck him, for Sam to let him hit his climax, but he had said “No” and made his brother whimper and beg over and over until Sam was just boring to hear him. Just then, Sam let him come with a cry of pleasure that made his physical body to react, too.

Sam woke up in his bed, sweating and heavy breathing, one of his hand taking his manhood that just had hit his climax, and his stomach was painted in white because of his own cum.

On the contrary, Lucifer was an artist. He liked to torture his victims by suspending them in the air and immobilizing them, grab part of their skin with tools, hands, and teeth until they bleed. When he was on the Cage with Sam and Michael, he waited until Michael fell asleep and he started the torture with Sam’s mind. He projected images of Sam torturing Dean until his orgasm and sometimes Dean torturing Sam until his orgasm -Lucifer knew Sam preferred the second version of it-. The issue with Sam was that he would do anything for his brother, but a part of him fought against something forbidden that Lucifer didn’t fully understand. “If the greeks and the medieval people did it, why you don’t, Sammy?”

“Don’t you dare to call me Sammy. Not you.”

“Why not? Is it because I’m not Dean? Do you want that only Dean to call you like that? Tell me, Sam, do you want to fuck Dean? Do you wanna fuck him rough and raw with scratches and bites and blood? Tell me. I’ll do anything for you. You just have to tell me. If you don’t, I’ll be creative and you know I’m very creative when I’m in the mood. And guess what, Sam? I am in the mood right now. So you better shut your mouth and let me create some art.”

Once again an illusion, this time was Dean the one pinned against the wall, suspended in the air, unable to move. And it was Sam the one teasing his brother, stretching and nipping his skin, his nipples with his hands and teeth.

“You enjoy it..”, Michael’s voice echoed in the Cage.

“Shut up…”, Sam begged.

The Mark of Cain intensified Dean’s worst feelings. It let out all the anger, the hatred and the awful thoughts that the older Winchester had in his mind. Dean had never been so honest in his entire life except when he had the Mark. When he was alone in his room, far from everything, he touched himself thinking about Sam. He moaned, “Yeah, right there, little brother” and other things until unimaginable words fell from his mouth. He wasn’t an idiot, his senses were alert all the time, he was aware of the security cameras on the gas station that night, and that was the reason that he gave it a full look of himself. He was like saying to Sam, “I’m here, little brother. Come and get me.” And just like that, thinking about the amount of stress that Sam Winchester had by trying to chasing him made Dean to cum really hard that night. He knew that Crowley would betray him and he would tell Sam where Dean was. So he waited until he saw his little brother at the bar. His puppy eyes looking at him with caution, even with fear. Geez, Dean could pinned him against the counter and fucked him so hard and made Sam cum untouched.

“Hiya, Sam.”

Sam tried to change Dean’s mind, to make his big brother go back home with him, Dean wanted or not. The acceleration of Sam’s beats and the fear that was overflowing through each pore of his skin made Dean laugh. He couldn’t avoid Sam’s puppy eyes even being a demon, but for different reasons. From his mouth escaped part of his plan of ripping Sam’s throat with his teeth, but the appearance of the son of a monster killed by Dean years ago interrupted them. Dean’s adrenaline was higher and higher with every punch he threw. His smile was wider with every failed attempt to be punch back. But Sam took advantage of the situation and splashed his brother with holy water and used special handcuffs to immobilized him.

“And what I’m gonna do to you, Sammy… Well, that ain’t gonna be mercy, either.”

If only Sam had been there when the devil’s trap had no control over Dean anymore, he would do it. But that wasn’t the case.

When Michael from the Apocalypse World took control of the steering wheel inside Dean’s head, Dean had to suffer the chats with the archangel and the constant monologues about what Dean felt about Sam.

“I do understand, Dean. There’s no one else who can understand you better than me. Did you think that it was easy for me to kill my own brother? I loved Lucifer more than anyone. Even more than my Father. That’s why I understand what you feel about Sam.”

“You don’t know shit…”

“You want to be here with him…”

“Shut up”, Dean commanded the archangel when a house and an unknown neighborhood took shape inside his mind.

‘Dean’ opened the door and left the house to pick up the newspaper on the porch. He looked up with a smile on his face when he recognized the bark of a dog coming closer.

“Hey, buddy”, Dean knelt to caressing the dog, who licked his face. “Where’s your owner?”

“Hey.”

Dean looked up and he saw Sam panting.

“This guy was supposed to wait for me, you know?”

“Bones likes me more. Isn’t that true, big guy?”

“Are you talking about me or about Bones?”

Dean stood up and cupped Sam’s face to kiss his lips. The feeling of Sam’s skin felt so real, his perfume, the texture of his hair. He could spend his entire life in that illusion forever.

“I’m sorry, Sammy”, Dean whispered, his forehead resting on Sam’s. “I can’t stay with you.”

“You’re strong, Dean Winchester. You’re a hell of an opponent.”

“I’m gonna deep-fried you when I’m out of here.”

“We’ll see. Everyone has a weak spot, Dean. And yours- It wasn’t so hard to figure it out what yours was. But your weak spot is also your fear; you love your brother more than yourself and your biggest fear is to lose him forever.”

Michael left Dean for a while. When he found Bobby, Mary, and Sam in an abandoned church, he tried to run to his brother but he was quite dizzy to do it.

“Sammy. It’s me.”

A light touch, the slightest feel of Sam near to him, that was what Dean needed to feel alive. And that was what Sam needed to feel alive, too. That very night in Dean’s bedroom both knew what love really was. There no matter the monsters surrounded them, at least they were together.

“Like Butch and Sundance?”, Sam asked Dean looking him in the eye, he wanted to be really sure about his next move. His brother, his lover, his soulmate smirked and kissed Sam because the moment when the younger pushed the button he had on his hands, it’d be the end of both of them and it also would be the end of all the monsters around the world.

“Like Butch and Sundance”, the older whispered.

“See you on the other side, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

They were alone. The monsters heard a sound that made them panic, confuse, and later fall on the floor. The air was poisoned for them, but not for humans around five miles away. There were other creatures in the right spot around the Earth doing the same thing, but all of them was mourning the best Hunters the world could ever have, they will be a legend because there won’t more things bumping in the dark thanks to Sam and Dean Winchester.

*************************************

SPN’s end is near and that’s why this has such a sad ending.

I tried really hard to improve my English -that’s the reason behind I didn’t submit my post in time- which it isn’t my mother language. If you see some mistakes, I hope it wasn’t so bad that you ended up laughing on the floor for hours, and if that was the case, hey! you laughed on the floor for hours xD

Thank you for the waiting and thank you for your kind comments on the tags :)

I hope you have a nice day~

All my love and best wishes, Miki :)

xxxxx

Mikiiiii :D I´m so happy to finally meet you! Thank you so, so much for all your lovely, lovely gifts! I enjoyed and loved all of them, both your wonderful fics and the beautiful moodboards! They were all so great!! Haha, and don´t you worry about your English, it´s awesome! I´m not a native, either, so I know the struggle only all too well ;)

And thank you so much for your wonderful final gift! I love, love, love dark stories, and blood drinking? Don´t-call-me-Sammys? The brothers going out in a blaze? God, yes, gimmegimmegimme! This was a perfect finale <3 (legendary!Winchester is just the icing on the cake!)

Anyway, thank you for being an awesome santa! This was so much fun and. you know, if you ever get bored, hit me up ;) All the hugs!!

#wincestmas #12daysofwincestmas #another wonderful gift <3 #thankyouthankyouthankyou #you know #I really really want them to go out in a blaze #but damn #it hurts anyway #<3333 #submission

0 notes

toomanyskeletons · 7 years ago

Note

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

2. what’s their favourite colour?

Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

3. What makes them laugh?

Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

5. Do they have any annoying habits?

-this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it’s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

7. What are their religious beliefs?

Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

9. How do they react to confrontation?

Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

10. Do they have a criminal record?

Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

11. What’s their favourite plant?

Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

12. Can they play any instruments?

Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

13. What are they proudest of?

Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

#my writing #my ocs #violetmanicwave

4 notes · View notes

eternallyboundfamily · 4 years ago

Text

Slap in the Face w/@DarkLoverLost & @EternalTohrment

Tohr:

*I had kept a respectful distance from Wrath since the death of Beth, I had tried to talk to him, to make him see that life could continue after the death of your Shellan, hell I was living proof of that, but the stubborn SOB wouldn’t listen to me, or any of the other Brothers. Not even Lass could get through his thick skull. So I kept the Brotherhood going, set rota’s, gave out nightly assignments and on top of that I oversaw the Trainee’s, made sure that LW was doing ok. I barely had time for mine own Shellan, let alone time to spoon feed a selfish asshat who had given up on himself.

But enough was enough, since his failed suicide attempt dessent was rife within the household. The Brothers had, had enough, especially V. I was starting to believe that his constant bitching about moving out of the compound and back to the Commodore was true and wherever he went, Butch was bound to follow. Phury already spent his off rotation time up in Arindarock with Cormia and the rest of the Chosen. Truth was that no one liked being around the Manse the way things were. If this shitstorm continued, not only would there be no King, there would be no Brotherhood either and I would be fucked if I was going to let that fly.

Wrath:

It had been three long weeks since my night in the alley. Poor Anara had been kicked out of the program on her ass. It was bad enough that she was a female striving to be a Brother, but to be kicked out for assisting the King in an attempt to take his own life. She would be shamed for the rest of her existence. Whether she was complicit or not, there was no room for that kind of error within the Brotherhood. If I could ever find a way to make that up to her, I would. Not sure how, but I would have to come up with something.

At this point, I had enough of my own issues to deal with. No one in the family was talking to me. Shit, I wasn’t even sure they were at the manse anymore. It was so quiet lately that it felt like I had the place all to myself. Not that I was going to test that theory. I was completely content to continue hiding out in my suite. At first it was due to not being able to get around all that well, after what happened. Then I just decided I liked it better being holed up. After V took me to see that female that stole me back from The Fade, I wasn’t interested in facing anyone. They were sure as hell not going to get me back to that female’s home. I would not apologize to the one fucking female that took me away from my one chance at going home to my queen.

The one person I really did miss was LW. The doggen would bring him in to see me, but even he didn’t seem happy to be there. He would fiddle around with his toys and pretty much keep to himself. If I tried to ask him how things were for him, he would just give me a, “fine,” or an, “okay.” He even appeared to be just as angry with me as the rest of the family. He couldn’t possibly understand what had happened and I definitely wasn’t going to go into it with him. He was just a kid. He shouldn’t have to be dealing with everything he has.

As I sat and listened to him play with his latest remote controlled speedster, I wondered about what was next for me. The Fade didn’t want me. The Brotherhood was making it plain as day that they didn’t want me anymore. Hell, even my son didn’t seem to want me. Why the fuck were they all so upset with what I had done?

Tohr:

My shitkickers tread the familiar path to what was once Wrath’s “Throne Room”, I stuck my head in, peering around the door wondering if today was the day that Wrath finally pulled his head out of his ass and got back to business. But no, the room was as empty as it always was of late. I steered myself out and up to the First Family suites, taking the stairs 2 at a time. I paused in front of the door unsure if this was the right things to do, to intrude in another’s pain but then I thought if Lass hadn’t inserted his glittery, chaps wearing angel ass into mine, Wellsie and my son would never have made it into the Fade and I would never have found love again with my beloved Autumn.

Without thinking about it again, I stepped up to the door and gave it a good pounding. Without waiting for a response, I threw open the door and strode in. “Wrath…..? This shit has gone on way too fucking long. Something’s gotta give, my man……!

My eyes instantly fell on LW, who looked up to me with a grin. “Uncle Tohr!” He pushed to his feet and ran over to me, hugging me. “Hey lil man, what’s doing today?” I ruffled his hair and eyeballed Wrath, looking as miserable as every other fucking day. Scribe this kid deserved so much more than this waste of a throne holed up in his suite day after day. “Listen up LW, how bout you go tell Uncle Rhage that I said it was ok for him to you out with him and Bitty to go get some ice cream in the GTO, ok?” He nodded and smiled at me as if he were thankful that at last he had a reason to get away from his father.

“Wrath, we have to talk and I am not leaving until you see sense”.

Wrath:

Mother fucker… How dare he blow into my suite and send my son off as if he has every right in the world to screw with my life. This was my time with my young. Sure, it might have been tense and awkward, but my son understood that I was a complex male. He knew I loved him. He was about the only thing about life that I loved. He was what got me through the past ten years.

Shit… ten years. Had it really been that long? I paused to think about the date. It was September, I knew that. Yup. Ten years ago, September 1st. The date had just passed. How was it I missed the anniversary? I never missed that date. I thought back, I was still in the med suite at the time, pumped up on all kinds of drugs. Another thing to be pissed at the family for. They just couldn’t keep their noses out of my shit.

I didn’t bother to acknowledge Tohr’s existence in my suite. Sooner or later he would get tired of talking to the wall and leave, just like everyone else did. Lying back against the headboard of my bed, I closed my eyes behind the wrap-a-rounds and began to reminisce about better nights, nights when my queen would pull me into our mated bed and do unthinkable things to me, even just the mornings where I would come home after a long night and she would sink into arms and just sleep. There was something so settling about the way she breathed so lightly in her sleep.

Tohr:

*I stepped deeper into the room and kicked the door closed, I could sense the animosity coming off Wrath, but I was done pretending that I gave a shit about his “feelings”.

“Wrath, you can sit there with a fucking attitude, I really have no fucks left to give when it comes to your bullshit. No one does, but you are going to listen to me, and believe me I am going nowhere, I am not leaving this room until you listen to me and listen properly. You and me are going to get real cosy and shit.

I planted myself in front of the door, my arms crossing over my chest, getting good and comfy. The silence was stifling, but I thought I would give Wrath a chance to say something, anything before I let loose on his shit.

Wrath:

I had been through this before, more times than I could count. Almost everyone in the family had come up to my suite to, “try and talk some sense into me.” It never worked. Even some of the females had come up and tried their, “we understand…” spiel. Nothing sank in as much as being turned away at the doors of the Fade by my beloved. That was the biggest “Fuck You” I could have ever experienced. Nothing else seemed to hurt anymore. That was supposed to be my final step. I was to walk though those beautiful doors and into the waiting arms of my Beth. But, even that wasn’t to be my fate. My fate was to rot down here, without my queen, longing forever, but never achieving. How could one male word me into any kind of pain? He didn’t get it. Nothing would ever sink in. Sure, the threat of losing my throne had stung. But, I knew that wouldn’t be so easily done. There were laws in place that would make it next to impossible for them to actually dethrone me.

Letting out a huge sigh, I crossed my arms as if to say, “Do your worst. It’s not going to matter.”

Tohr:

I shrugged. Fine, lets hit him with the big guns first. “Alright then, so I have had Saxton look up some precedent and we have drawn up some papers to remove you from the Throne and draw up a conservatorship for LW until he is of age to sit on the Throne himself, he will work with a council to lead the Race since you are no longer capable or even interested in what happens to your Young, your Brotherhood, your family or the race. I would ask for you to sign it but let’s face it. You can’t be fucked to come down and eat with the family, why would you want to sign a piece of paper to take away from you, the one thing you didn’t want in the first place, right?

I moved from the door, to perch on the edge of the dresser, closer to the so-called King than I had been for a while. The grief and his recent brush with death were showing on his face and physique. He may not know that I knew but he was barely feeding from Ibree or any of the other Chosen that Phury sent his way. The last time he had fed properly was from the redhead, Wicked when the ballsy Female had basically growled at any other person that came within an inch of Wrath that didn’t have a white coat and a medical degree. Maybe that's what we needed to do, knock his ass out and get a Chosen in to feed him when he was out cold….hey that wasn’t a bad idea…! I know a few of the Brothers that would be up for clocking the selfish sonovabitch out cold and V would be at the front of the line.

Wrath:

My lip pulled up in a snarl for a millisecond, before I reminded myself that this was a bluff. It would take much more than a quick glance at precedent to get me off the throne. There were trials that needed to be done, time periods that needed to be waited out, and finally a new vote from the race. It wasn’t as simple as signing a few pieces of paper. Did Tohr really think I ruled without knowledge? Did he think that I didn’t know what I was doing? I had to know the laws inside and out in order to do what I did. Sure, I haven’t been doing a lot of it lately, but I still knew the logistics. I created half of them. When I finally decided to sit on that throne, I made the decision that if I were going to do it, I would do it right. There were so many things that needed to be changed from when my sire ruled. I did that! We wouldn’t have half of those laws and rules if it weren’t for me. Not to mention, I was with Saxton when we set up the new laws about my rule, when the race voted me in. I know how they work.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, not that he could have seen it. “Fuck you, Tohr. I know you can’t get me off the throne that easy. The only way it would be that easy would be if I were to actually make it into the Fade, and seeing as that didn’t happen, you’re stuck with me, for at least a good while longer.” The shithead thought he could come in here and make me break with a bunch of empty lies. He had another thing coming. Tohr:

*I arched my back and let some joints pop before resettling my position on the dresser* You think that I don’t know that, but the thing is one thing can get your useless ass off the Throne, a vote of no confidence from your people, which is then supported by the Brotherhood. Which we have. Do you think that our people don’t know that you tried to kill yourself? V and I have been fielding calls left and right via the Audience House, with Abalone’s help. V and I are looking after YOUR people, YOUR business. You wanted this Throne but where are you when you are needed? Holed up in your suite, avoiding everyone and everything because you got pissy because it wasn’t your time to get into the Fade. You think that you are the only one who know’s how much that hurts, right? Well as per fucking usual you don’t know shit. Lemme guess, when you blew your sorry ass up and cost an excellent trainee her spot in the programme, you saw Beth. Am I right….?

Wrath:

“You fucking dare talk about taking away MY throne in one breath and in the very next one, you let my queen’s name fall from your lips?!” I was beyond furious. I would not let them take away my throne. “As I seem to remember, you need to have 90 consecutive days without me on that throne before you can put your pen to that order. It has not been 90 consecutive days.” I knew this because it was one of the only things I kept track of. “If I go into that Audience House anytime in the next two months, that vote of no confidence that you are so thrilled to threaten me with doesn’t mean any more than the paper it’s printed on.”

I stood up with a growl. “Now, if you’re done coming up here and taking your shot at getting through to me for the month, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!”

Tohr:

I nodded to myself, and stood up, pacing the small path from the bathroom to the door. “So, did I tell you that my Wellsie was stuck in limbo after she died? *I didn’t wait for a reply, I knew I wouldn’t get one anyway* “My Shellan and my Young, were stuck in a wasteland because I couldn’t bring myself to accept their death. I was selfish and I disappeared. I stayed in that cave and starved myself, I couldn’t be sure that suicide’s would get into the Fade and I couldn’t mess up my chance to be with Wellsie and my son, so I starved myself till I was too weak to move, I barely had the energy to move or even think. I definitely didn’t have the energy to fight off Oprah’s biggest fan when he showed up and carted my miserable ass back to the land of the living. And did I hate him for it….yeah, I despised his ass, I would have loved to bury my daggers in his heart, but you and my brothers helped me. You all and Autumn. I would be lost with all of you getting all up in my biz and forcing me to let my Wellsie and my Son go into the Fade where I am sure they and Darius are looking after your Beth until your rightful time to join her. It’s not your time Wrath, your son needs you. We need you”.

I sighed deeply, I knew that this was a long shot but the only way any of us would ever get into Wrath’s logical side at the moment was via Beth. I felt like a total loser using Beth and Wellsie this way but it was my last shot. A last ditch effort to get the Blind King to see what was going on all around him. That Beth’s death had affected us all, not just him and that closing himself was a kick in the balls to everyone.

Wrath:

Blah, blah, blah… I knew this story. Fuck, I lived this story. It didn’t seem that it was that long ago, but it was. Tohr had straight up disappeared the moment he found out about Wellsie. I’m still not quite sure how he managed that one, but that wasn’t what was important. What was, was that I was tired of hearing about it. Yes, I remembered when Tohr disappeared. Yes, I remembered why Tohr disappeared. Yes, I remember that Wellsie and his son were stuck in limbo. Thing is, Beth is not stuck in limbo. Beth is in the Fade, and she’s obviously not waiting for me, if she met me at the door and slammed it in my face. Not that I had owned up to that little piece of information with many people. I wonder how Tohr would feel if I threw that in his face.

However, as much as I hated to admit it, he had hit a nerve… or two. One, he reminded me that Beth did slam the door in my face. But, he also made me remember how we all felt when we found Tohr and his next-to-lifeless body. It had been brutal for all of us, seeing him like that, trying to slap the stupid out of him. I gritted my teeth as he made me think about how they all must feel watching me waste away. Fuck him! I chose this. Then again, my plan had failed on an epic scale and I had no next move. Although, I couldn’t see trying to shift back to normal. There was no longer a normal for me. There was just this… this emptiness without a white light at the end of the tunnel. It was all just a big black hole, no matter which way I turned. The only things that mattered to me right now were 1. My son. 2. My throne. 3. As much as I hated to admit it, my family. I did still care what happened to them. I just hated that they wouldn’t let me face this my way, or not face it, as that’s what I’ve chosen.

Tohr:

*I had, had enough of this bullshit so I decided to deliver a semi low blow* So has LW told you that he is flunking his school classes? Nalla is miles ahead of where LW racks up. He doesn’t sleep much at night, did you know that? Did you know that when he is upset or he has questions about something, he comes to me or to JW because Dad is too sad or Dad is in the recovery suite after his “accident”. Scribe Wrath, he has night terrors and cries for hours when he has them, how do I know this? He comes to me or Autumn. Your young, Beth’s son, thinks that his Dad doesn’t love him enough and that is why he doesn’t want to be here anymore! Wrath, you may not give a flying fuck about anyone else but you have to care about your Son? You are ruining the last thing you have of Beth.

*I stormed to the side of the bed where Wrath was ensconced and I threw down a Glock 17 on the bed next to Wrath* “ If you are so damned determined to kill yourself, at least do it here so we don’t have to come pick up pieces of you all over the place and then no one can come and interrupt your little suicide party. We won’t stop you, we are done with this bullshit. You want to live or die your way? Fine, go right ahead. We will be here to look after your Son when your gone, like father like son eh Wrath, your son will have to grow up without his father, just like you did. But at least he has a houseful of Aunts and Uncles who love him, hopefully that will make up for the absence of his Mahmen who loved him so much it radiated out of her pores and a Father, who couldn’t face life with his Shellan, so he left his only Son an orphan.”

I threw open the door, heading to Last Meal and left him to wallow in his misery, he may have lost his Shellan but at least he still had a Son. I on the other hand lost both and I had to live with that every day of my life.

Wrath:

God damn, mother fucking, asshat! I had been told that LW hadn’t been doing well in his studies, but no one had been so blunt about the why, like Tohr just had. It’s not that I didn’t know I was fucking up. I did. I knew it. But, what was I supposed to do? The motivation just wasn’t there. I could barely get out of bed on days, just to go take a shower. How was I supposed to be present enough, all the time, to be there for LW. Why did they not get that I already knew he was better off without me? I didn’t need Tohr to throw that in my face. That was a truth I had accepted long ago. Why were they not living up to it? Why were they not getting him through this? I was entrusting my young to my Brothers and they were too concerned with what I wasn’t doing than doing what they should be doing for him. I was clearly asking them to step up. But, if he was having night terrors and thinking that I didn’t love him, they were not doing their job.

As I heard the door slam shut, I put my hand on the cold steel of the gun. It would be so easy to just pick it up, put the muzzle in my mouth, and pull the trigger. It would all be over. LW would be released, I would be released, and the family would be released from watching me waste away. But, it was clear I wouldn’t be seeing Beth any time soon. I wouldn’t end up at the doors of the Fade, and even if I did, Beth wasn’t going to let me in. Tears welled up in my eyes for the first time in a long time as Beth’s words rang in my ears. I was letting her down. I had failed her, I had failed my son, and I had failed my family. I threw the gun across the room and picked up the phone. “I need to speak to Fritz.” I waited impatiently for Fritz to come to the phone. If he took too long, I was going to lose my nerve.

“Sire?” came the response from the other end of the phone.

“Fritz. I need to speak to Mary.”

#SlapInTheFace #EBRPG BDBRP

0 notes

eternaltohrment · 4 years ago

Text

A Slap in the Face w/ @DarkLoverLost

Tohr:

Wrath:

Tohr:

“Wrath, we have to talk and I am not leaving until you see sense”.

Wrath:

Tohr:

*I stepped deeper into the room and kicked the door closed, I could sense the animosity coming off Wrath, but I was done pretending that I gave a shit about his “feelings”.

Wrath:

Letting out a huge sigh, I crossed my arms as if to say, “Do your worst. It’s not going to matter.”

Tohr:

Wrath:

I stood up with a growl. “Now, if you’re done coming up here and taking your shot at getting through to me for the month, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!”

Tohr:

Wrath:

Tohr:

Wrath:

“Sire?” came the response from the other end of the phone.

“Fritz. I need to speak to Mary.”

#SlapInTheFace #EBRPG BDBRP

0 notes

darkloverlost · 4 years ago

Text

SLAP IN THE FACE w/@EternalTohrment

Tohr:

Wrath:

Tohr:

“Wrath, we have to talk and I am not leaving until you see sense”.

Wrath:

Tohr:

*I stepped deeper into the room and kicked the door closed, I could sense the animosity coming off Wrath, but I was done pretending that I gave a shit about his “feelings”.

Wrath:

Letting out a huge sigh, I crossed my arms as if to say, “Do your worst. It’s not going to matter.”

Tohr:

Wrath:

Tohr:

Wrath:

I stood up with a growl. “Now, if you’re done coming up here and taking your shot at getting through to me for the month, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!”

Tohr:

Wrath:

Tohr:

Wrath:

“Sire?” came the response from the other end of the phone.

“Fritz. I need to speak to Mary.”

#SlapInTheFace #EBRPG BDBRP

0 notes