#my best friends hair is super curly and they have judged me our entire lives for my very manageable hair that i dont do anything with

[napping-sapphic]

About to attempt learning new hairstyles again and i’m already prepared for it to go SO poorly lol

[writethehousedown]

Conflicted Looks Good On You (Crystal x Gigi) - Mina

A/N: Hi everyone, i’m so excited to finally get to participate in one of these challenges! I worked really really hard on this so I hope you enjoy it, this is possibly my best fic yet? :> Please go say hello on my blog @goodemornting !!

Crystal works as a lifeguard for the scariest ride in the entire waterpark, The Vortex of Death. Gigi hates scary things, but might make an exception for the pretty woman who keeps on saving her.

The first time Gigi met Crystal, she’d been dying. No, literally dying.

There was water in her lungs, and it felt like she was drowning from the inside. Her feet were somehow stuck to something that felt like clammy plastic, almost suffocating against her skin. The sky was blurry above in bruised shades of purple, great swathes of orange cutting across it, and it looked like the skies in those terrible indie horror movies Jackie sometimes made her watch. There was a procession of skulls above her as well, faces grotesque and grimy with tongues protruding from bony cheeks and dripping drool into a pool of flames, and Gigi couldn’t help but wonder whether the devil had finally gotten the best of her and sent her down to hell.

Her first coherent thought was thighs. Good thighs. Nice, strong, tan thighs with a soft layer of muscle. The kind of thighs she’d like to see walking around the house on lazy Sunday mornings, blue shorts attached to them and a tacky, overlong red T-shirt hanging down just below the waistline. Water-drops clung to wet skin and ran down in interesting little rivulets, creating intricate lines that could be traced most efficiently with a tongue.

Pair of Thighs had to have a face up there somewhere, Gigi hoped, but then again this was hell so was she really sure?

She chocked at the feel of hands intertwining with her own, grip tight and unflinching as they struggled to lift her up. The gaping skulls and fire became spirals of blood-red spots, scrunching her eyes up and letting herself be lifted from the water. She tried to breathe in and felt her lungs burn, throat tight and painful.

A hand thumped her back hard.

Gigi sputtered, dribbling water. She almost managed to cough out a sentence but then someone’s mouth was on her own, knocking any coherency straight back out of her with the feel of soft lips pulling harshly to get a better grip. She startled, shoulders tensing, but her arms didn’t have the strength to pull away. She tasted sugary peaches, like the kind that filled the cakes and pastries in cafe windows, warm fingers on the back of her head offering the lightest pressure, before they pulled away with a quiet gasp. Gigi scrambled back, and in her daze, managed to kick someone squarely in the chest.

“Holy shit! Holy shit, Gigi!”

If this really was hell and peachy-tan-thighs-girl was a demon, then Gigi was screwed because somehow she’d also brought her best friend into this equation.

“J-Jackie?”

The Persian woman crowded her field of vision, shoulders slumping in relief at the brunette’s words. She looked pale, a wet towel slung over her neck and brown eyes comically huge behind her glasses. Her hands were pressed against her face, squishing up her cheeks in nervous panic, and Gigi thought she looked like a twelve-year-old.

“Oh my god, what were you thinking? Why did you do that?” She screeched, hands clutching her heart as though it might beat right out of her chest “Did you get water in your head or something? I thought you were going to die!” Gigi looked back at her hazily, almost apologetic for how nervous the older woman looked.

“D-do what?” The younger gasped out, shaking slightly from the cold water hugging her skin.

“Jump out of the floatie!” Jackie hissed, turning to speak to someone out of Gigi’s vision. “I’m sorry, are you all good?”

“I’m fine.” A honey voice laughed gently, breathing heavily, “Is your friend alright now?”

“She seems to be alive,” Jackie trilled, high and panicky. “And talking. Is that bad?”

“Oh, no, that’s great. Maybe you can head to the cafe, get some sugar in her.”

Gigi floundered to sit up and get a full look of peach girls face, rubbing at her eyes that were stinging from the pool water. The lifeguard was still clutching her chest in pain, but her grin was square and wide and her striking orange hair was pulled back from her face in a messy ponytail. A jarringly purple headband covered half her forehead, keeping her curly hair off her face, and Gigi saw manicured brows, soft lips and golden, tan skin. The top lip was thicker than the bottom one, which was interesting, and the brunette told herself she was only staring so hard because those lips had been on hers just a few moments ago.

Because Gigi had - apparently, in panic - jumped off her floatie in the midst of the scariest ride in the fucking park, the Vortex of Death, and proceeded to injure the poor lifeguard.

She felt her heart stop again. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, “I’m really sorry, oh my God. I kicked you. After you saved me. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I like saving lives.” The woman grinned like it was nothing, waving a hand nonchalantly which the brunette noticed had fingernails painted in rainbow colours. “Not often that I have to climb up half the ride to do it, but it shook up my day a little.”

Jackie tried ineffectively to dry Gigi’s hair with her wet towel, scoffing under her breath. “Don’t you usually save people lower down?”

“Yep. Most pass through the shark dive before they panic and flail and I have to go pull them out.”

Gigi frowned. “Where was I?”

“Still in the flame thrower part.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed. At least you didn’t drown.”

Jackie was nodding, though she looked like she was trying to convince herself that everything was okay more than Gigi. She still looked horrified, patting the brunette’s head with that towel and biting down on her lip so hard that Gigi was afraid she’d tear right through.

“It’s okay, honey,” The older whispered, “You can get stuck in the shark dive next time.”

The lifeguard girl giggled loudly at that, shoulders shaking gently. Her voice was a pretty, smooth thing, sling-shotting itself straight into Gigi’s veins, but her laughter itself was heady and adorable. Her one piece swimsuit showcased an embroidered burning skull with the words Vortex of Death beneath it, hardly fitting of the bright brown eyes and gummy smile the taller woman possessed. Her name-tag badge said Crystal, which was a weird one, but who was Gigi to judge? Her blue shorts looked tight and stuck to her skin way too snug, hugging her toned muscles. It wasn’t fair, because even in her tacky lifeguard clothes, Crystal looked like she belonged in a summer fashion catalog. She didn’t look real, much more suited to a beach in the Mexican coast or a hip village in the south of France or something, working on her perfect tan skin.

She certainly did not look like she should be giving CPR in a shitty waterpark in a tiny corner of southern California, and Gigi was immediately mesmerized - cartoon heart eyes, dry mouth, shaky hands - the whole package.

“Do you feel like you can stand up?” Peach girl - Crystal - asked with a tilt of her head. She looked concerned, warm eyes fixed on Gigi’s own and large palm held out for her to hold.

“Y-yeah.”

“Awesome,” She grinned. “Come on, then. Take my hand.”

The younger woman grabbed at it, ignoring the way her heart jumped at the feel of her long fingers closing around her palm, strong and promising. Crystal yanked her up and off of the concrete, catching her neatly after she yet again stumbled into her arms. Gigi gaped up at her, halfway dead again from mortification, but the tan woman’s smile was warm and kind, carving deep laugh lines into her cheeks.

She swallowed hard and felt her insides flutter.

That had been the beginning of her doom.

***

“Nicky says she’s imprinting on you,” Jan grinned when they met at the entrance to the park, under the palm trees surrounding the ticket booth. “Like baby ducks imprint on mom ducks. Only your mom is a hot lifeguard who’s mandated to wear those teeny shorts.”

“She’s not my mom,” Gigi hissed, but Jan didn’t paying attention. “What’s up with this dumb park and teeny shorts, anyway?”

The blondes head turned as a woman passed them by, gaze lingering on the same uniform swimsuit. Gigi had been at this park enough times now to recognize the broad shoulders and dark hair of Jaida, the girl who handled the Lazy River. She spotted her sometimes with Crystal, fooling around when the crowds were less and they had nothing to do. She low-key resented the woman because it was absolutely impossible not to, Jaida was gorgeous, like, beach model, I-do-runway-shows-for-fun gorgeous, and they were super touchy and flirty and annoying all of the time. Once, at Gigi’s insistence, Nicky had asked Jaida if the two were dating. The dark haired woman’s response had been loud, deep laughter, and a pat to the top of Nicky’s head.

“Her name’s Jaida, if you want to know,” She told Jan with a frown, hoping she didn’t sound too aggressive, “She’s really pretty, huh.”

“Jackie told me her name,” Jan replied thoughtfully, craning her neck to keep gazing at the older lifeguard. “Your Crystal is pretty too. Doesn’t she sing as well?”

“She only does one direction songs,” Gigi muttered, shouldering past the older girl to pay for tickets, “She’s a real pro at those, though.”

A loud snicker from behind her told her that Nicky had finally joined them. “She’s a weird one, huh?“

“She’s not weird,” Gigi pouted, crossing her arms, “She’s just…she’s different.”

The French woman snorted, “You act the sun shines out of her ass.”

The brunette pinched the bridge of her nose exasperatedly, “Why the fuck did I bring you guys?”

“Because you know it’s too lame to come to water parks alone.”

Nicky added, “Do you really think we have nothing better to do with our weekends?”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. “You really don’t.”

The French woman frowned, “Well, yeah, fair. But it wasn’t me who decided to crush on the lifeguard that strictly works at the scariest ride in the entire water-park, while having the biggest fear of water.”

“Will you ever let that go?”

“I don’t know. You might have to actually get the girl before that.”

They passed through the entrance to the park, Gigi’s feet acting on their own as they dragged her to her inevitable destination, the stone pathway leading up to the scariest ride in the entire park. Jan laughed once they arrived, nudging the brunette’s shoulder, “Hey, how many times do you think we’ve come here in the last six weeks?”

Gigi didn’t reply, she didn’t know if she was ready to acknowledge the number yet. She knew exactly how many times.

Twenty.

Twenty fucking times she’d come to the water park in the last month, and twenty fucking times she’d climbed into the Vortex with her heart beating out of her chest. It never stopped being terrifying, she never stopped feeling like she’d puke, but somehow, she’d conditioned herself at a Pavlovian level to look forward to it.

To look forward to Crystal meeting her at the bottom of the ride, beaming smile preemptively in place and warm hands waiting to yank her out of the water.

Crystal. Gigi tried out the name nearly every day since the lifeguard had told it to her. Tonguing it around in her mouth, getting a feel for it. Crystal.

Crystal was always there, waiting at the end of the ride like a little guardian angel dressed in her teeny shorts and sometimes that purple headband, reaching out to help the hapless souls flailing in her pool after being spit out by the hell-ride.

What’s up, Gigi would ask, cool as you please. And Crystal would reply excitedly, did you have fun? She would nod, very cool, as if she hadn’t just spent the last one minute screaming her head off like a banshee. As if she hadn’t felt her soul fly up all the way to her gullet, hanging on by a bare thread for the entire duration of the ride. And how was your week, busy yeah? She’d ask, swallowing down her nausea. And Crystal would say something cute, something funny, like oh, I had to dig two people out of the slide today. No big deal.

The lifeguard always smelt like something citrus and tropical, only slightly layered with the chemicals in the water. She always had those peach-shine lips, and Gigi wondered how much lipbalm the lifeguard must go through because they’re more likely to become chapped with all the chlorine she was in contact with. Gigi would stay for a few minutes, chatting with her, asking her things. Do you like pizza? I like pizza, and Do you like sewing? I like sewing. She learned that Crystal likes dancing, and eating Italian food. That Crystal’s accent is colored with the heavy Spanish she picked up from growing up in Mexico. That when she’s not saving lives in the dumb theme park she moonlights as a bartender in some tiny club.

Crystal had even come to expect her, always asking where she’d been if the brunette hadn’t shot down the Vortex for a few days. It lit something fierce in Gigi’s heart when she did that, knowing that the older girl thought of her when she wasn’t around. She would absolutely keep coming back, waste her money on tickets and climb into a ride that scares the soul out of her, just to hear the older woman say what have you been up to? I missed you this week.

It’s a potent sort of crush. Puppy-love strong, blood on fire, wanting-to-serenade-with-roses-and-tulips sort of thing.

Gigi is so gone.

“You okay to do the Vortex alone today?” Jan asked, bouncing giddily on her toes, “Nicky and I are thinking of doing the Lazy River.”

Of course they were. They were going to spend most of that Lazy River ride falling out of their floaties and scraping their heads along the side and bumping into others - general incompetent nonsense that’d get Jaida to follow them exasperatedly along the edges of the entire course. “Sure, try not to get yourselves killed.” What she wanted to say is please don’t go, I’m so terrified, but the idea of getting some precious alone time with a certain tan skinned lifeguard has her holding her head up confidently, walking through the fiery entrance alone like she wasn’t about to faint.

The line dwindled. The Vortex’s head was shaped like a screaming man, tiny red and black striped boats sitting in lines ready to escort people through the horror show. No matter how many times Gigi stood there, waiting to be launched down the steep throat and into the spinning, spiraling slide, she still got awful butterflies at the thought of it. There was only one more person in front of her, and then she would have to go, and the worst part was waiting for the safety-guard to rise and for the beep to sound and for her to be launched down that deep, dark tunnel like a rocket into space.

The person in front of her was thrown down the slide, a scream rising from their throat like cold murder. Gigi shuffled forward, grimacing at the ride’s technical controller who offered her a sympathetic smile. Why do people make these things? Who wants to be scared out of their wits while being sling-shotted into a dark, amniotic chamber full of echoing sounds and slick, red walls? What is this fascination with knowing what it’s like to possibly be swallowed by a giant whale or something? Why are people so intensely entertained by—

“Fuck!” Her hands scrambled for purchase as she was propelled forward, the ride making a terrible screeching sound as the plastic slid against the slide. The skulls leered at her from every turn, the disgusting laughing sound that seemed to have been recorded in the pits of purgatory itself cheering her on from the speakers hidden in the walls. Gigi shrieked, the sound echoing off the walls and bouncing through the chamber along side her.

She could almost see Crystal now, sitting on her lifeguard chair, peering down the tunnel to see whether Gigi would get stuck inside the exit. “A lot of people get stuck on that part, y’know,” The older woman had told her once. “It’s a structural defect. But most people find it hilarious and it adds to the experience, so they don’t fix it.”

Gigi hadn’t had the heart to tell her that most people probably also appreciate the sight of Crystal climbing up to get them, pole in hand, to poke them out of position. Crystal - narrow yet broad, big yet small, a mess of contradictions and odd features and little flaws brought together into the perfect person. Gigi could hardly believe she wasn’t a fever dream.

The redhead’s sunglasses were bright green and heart-shaped that day, reflecting the afternoon sun and doing wonders for her tan skin. Gigi barely had time to glimpse before she fell right out of her floatie and straight into the pool, the splash sound reverberating through the water. She went under and spluttered for a while, bright blue in her eyes and burning water in her throat, before familiar arms dragged her out and greeted her with a tight embrace.

“You never stick the landing right,” Crystal hummed, looking down at her through a teasing smile, “Hi, Gigi.”

“Hey,” The younger woman replied breathlessly, holding up a weak thumbs up. “What’s shaking?”

“You tell me,” The taller woman raised an eyebrow teasingly, “Pretty nasty fall you had today, looked like you were about to cry.”

Gigi pushed the hair out of her eyes, trying to appear dignified, “Are you making fun of me?” Crystal’s eyes widened, shaking her head frantically.

“No!” The taller woman assured, hands flurrying to deny the statement, “You looked graceful, almost! Very pretty. Do people ever tell you how pretty you are? Because I think so.” She spoke very quickly, that heavy accent dripping honey-like into every word, and Gigi could hardly catch what she was saying. That was endearing too. Crystal’s lashes fluttered excitedly. “You’re really something, Geege.”

The brunette peered at her, trying to make out if all of this had a layer of hilarity to it. The redhead didn’t look like she was joking, just gazed at Gigi happily - so earnest and serious, eyes round and lamp-like, a one thousand kilowatt smile. Skin all supple and tan and pretty, hair drawn back from her face, standing there knee-deep in chlorinated water fangirling over her. Her big, bubbly lifeguard crush. Gigi sort of just really wanted to kiss her head.

She cleared her throat. “I thought it must look kinda weird, falling off every time I get on this ride,”

“No, it isn’t! You look cool, dramatic. You look like an actress.”

“Really?”

“Really. Your clothes look cool, too. I love your swimsuit!.” Crystal beamed, gesturing down at Gigi’s white lace bikini. Her hands were still resting on Gigi’s shoulders, big palms squeezing gentle, so soft that a butterfly couldn’t get away with it. “You should be confident.”

“I am.”

“That’s good, then.” The redhead licked her lips - a quick pink swipe, leaving her mouth glossier still. “Wow, I can’t believe I know someone so gorgeous. It’s

awesome.”

Crystal smile was pearly and bright, starry-eyed, mouth that cool blush tone that reminded the brunette of fresh strawberries and fluffy blankets. “That’s pretty lame,” Gigi laughed, cheeks getting warmer by the second.

“Five people have gotten stuck since morning,” The lifeguard grinned, “One was this girl, she screamed the funniest things ‘till I got her out of there, you should have heard it. Sometimes I think people hate this ride. They do it once because it’s so famous and everyone wants to look cool, but they secretly can’t stand it.”

Gigi glanced back at the Vortex and shivered, her heart still pounding from the twists and jumps of the tunnels packed inside. All of what the taller had just said applied to her, too, but she’d left out the one variable that kept bringing her back.

She wondered if Crystal knew what she looked like.

“You come back, though,” The redhead observed, peering around Gigi in preparation for the next person screaming their way through the stone chamber. “You seem to love this ride. You must be a really brave person.”

Gigi chuckled weakly, her stomach flipping. “I like to live dangerously,” She lied through her teeth.

“Yeah?” Crystal lit up. “So do I! I’ve been wanting to go to the summer festival so bad. There’s this crazy roller-coaster this year, did you see it?”

She’d seen it. She’d seen it many, many times, all over her Instagram feed no matter how many times she told the app she was Not. Interested. It was a monstrous thing, must be the size of two baseball pitches, at least three times what the vortex was. Just looking at it had been enough to make her want to melt into the floor, so of course Crystal was absolutely enamored by it.

“They brought it in from Australia or something. I keep asking Jaida to come with me, but she says she’s scared, which is weird because normally she’s good with this stuff-“

Sometime in between Crystal opening her mouth and closing it, Gigi had begun to nod violently. She’s not sure when it started, but her mouth twisted into a warming smile. It felt like she was no longer in control of her own voice as she hummed, “I can go with you, if you want.”

The redhead looked at her, wide-eyed, a little daze of possibility sparking in her gaze. “Really?” She asked, and then frowned skeptically. “I mean you don’t really know me, and I wouldn’t want to pressure you..”

“I’d love to go, promise,” Gigi beamed, earnest. “I - uh - I love roller-coasters. Who doesn’t?”

“Right.” Crystal brightened, cheeks puffing up from her wide smile. Excitement made her look soft, even softer, actually, lit her up from the inside like a little doll that smiles when you push at its tummy. Gigi heard a swoosh of blood rushing in her ears. “What reason is there to be scared? You go on the thing, you have the time of your life, you feel alive. You know?”

The brunette could think of at least five hundred reasons to be scared. “Alive.” She mumbled, clenching her jaw, “Alive. Yep.”

The lifeguard giggled happily. “When do you want to go?”

There was a little kick in Gigi’s gut, a last ditch attempt to get her out of something she knew she shouldn’t be doing. “W-whenever. I’m free…Monday night?” Too bad, she had done it anyway.

Crystal near vibrated in excitement, bouncing on the heels of her toes. “Okay! Okay. Monday night. I’ll meet you there.” Her eyes twinkled, round pupils gazing into Gigi’s more piercing ones, and the younger woman felt as though she was going to faint yet again.

The splash of someone else landing in the pool startled them both, a quiet scream following it from underwater. The redhead shot her an apologetic look, - gotta go now - and padded her way over to the flailing person, warm-voiced and gentle and smiling as she helped them up.

The brunette climbed out of the pool, looking back once, and then started to move towards a different ride before she made another decision she’d regret.

“Geege!” Crystal called, waving dramatically back at her, “Monday, don’t forget. It’s a date!”

Gigi nearly stumbled into a bush.

***

In all matters not involving math, scary rides, and one particular tan-skin lifeguard, Georgina Goode was very competent.

She made and designed clothing, with some help from Nicky. She liked to cook, and she liked living alone, and she liked women. She liked some fun with her sense of organization, too, so on most weekends that she didn’t have to work, she ended up in a club with Jan.

“Cute girl at eight o’clock,” The blonde slurred, happily pulling Gigi this way and that in vaguely the rhythm of whatever song was being played, “She’s been looking at you all night.”

She turned to look, but it was like her mind’s eye had shrunk to develop an omnipotent focus only on Crystal. Her gaze found the new girl and slipped away quickly, disinterested. She turned back to Jan with a shrug. “Not my type.”

“Oh, you have a type now?” The older woman’s smile was knowing, “The type that makes you go on scary rides? Loud, smiley, tan?”

Gigi shook her head, groaning, “I’m going with her to the autumn festival tomorrow.”

Jan’s eyes went wide, stopping in her tracks and mouth gaping wide, “Really? You finally asked her out? Lifeguard Crystal?!”

The music changed, some pop anthem, and Jan lit up and tugged on Gigi’s arm to pull her further into the dance floor. The brunette grinned and shimmied closer. She liked dancing with Jan, because Jan was the rare breed of person who’d recite all the properties of antibiotics or whatever she was studying at nursing school while performing a slut-drop. Jan never made things weird. Even then, she was probably contemplating Gigi’s potential future with “Lifeguard Crystal” as she swayed her hips enthusiastically to the rap music.

“Well, she’s not bad looking, I guess.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Fine, fine. She’s fucking hot. Like. Ridiculously hot.”

“That’s more like it.”

Jan’s brows creased, offering a sympathetic smile. “But you don’t know her very well, babe.”

“I know her better than that girl over there you were suggesting I take home.”

“Fair point,” The blonde frowned, reaching around Gigi to grab her drink from the table. “But what if she’s…Oh, fuck it. Enjoy your date with Crystal. She of the life-giving mouth and tiny blue shorts. Just be safe, okay?”

“Yeah, well,” Gigi hesitated, dry-mouthed, ignoring the patronizing tilt of the older woman’s head. “I don’t think this date is ending that way.”

The blonde narrowed her eyes, “Why? What are you two doing?” She asked skeptically, downing a sip of her vibrantly coloured cocktail.

She took a deep breath, “Going on the roller coaster at the summer festival.”

Jan spat out her drink, looking back at the younger woman with eyes the size of saucers. “What?” She spluttered, loud enough that club goers around her startled and looked in their direction. “Have you seen that thing? It’s monstrous. It’s abominable. It’s an absolute atrocity, Gigi.”

“We want to feel alive.”

“You sound really dead right now.”

“I know.” She sighed, hiding her face behind her palms, “She just, Crystal, she’s… special, y’know? I want to impress her so bad, it’s insane,”

“Of course you do.” Jan put her small hand to Gigi’s jaw, furrowing her brows. The younger woman leaned into it, taking a deep breath. “God, it’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Maybe I just need to see her out of those shorts for once. Break the spell.”

The blonde shook her head. “It’s bad,” she whispered, nodding to herself and patting Gigi’s cheek gently. “So bad.”

“Janet,” the brunette whispered hoarsely, “How much do I need to pay for you to come to the summer festival and drag my body away if I die on this thing?”

***

On Sunday evening when Crystal messaged her to ask are we still on? with a flurry of heart emojis and a mermaid, the brunette didn’t have the slightest idea of how to respond.

She scowled at her phone for a minute. Yes? She typed, and then deleted the question mark. She wasn’t a stumbling middle school girl with a painful crush on a senior way out of her league. She was smart. She was confident.

She could do this.

Yes, she sent, and then couldn’t bare to look at the phone for a while. Crystal’s reply wasn’t much to go on when she finally gained the courage to peek.

“Cool,” The brunette read aloud, turning the word about in her mouth to gauge its true meaning. “Cool.” She pouted at the lack of any smiley faces.

She let it go. Ran late anyway because she kept looking at pictures of that roller coaster and having mini heart-attacks. There was a chain lift and a steep drop and many, many points where both the contents of Gigi’s stomach and her heart were likely to leap out of her mouth.

Still. She could do this. She wasn’t a baby, she rode the Vortex of Death every week - she could do this.

Crystal’s hair was ruffled in the wind when Gigi finally caught up to her, already smelling of daffodils and ice-cream. She was finally out of those fucking shorts too, dressed all pretty in a yellow sundress and patterned necktie, still with that soft-shine balm glossing up her lips in a more shimmery colour this time. She wore round glasses, pushed up to the top of her head and intertwining with her red curls, with bunches of colourful bracelets decorating both hands. She looked straight out of a painting, maybe a character escaped from the most beautiful art museum and on the run through the summer festival.

“You look - you look nice,” Gigi stuttered, all verklempt, and Crystal beamed back with her eyes scrunched up.

“You too! There’s a penguin pin on your shirt.”

Gigi looked down, almost gasping at the sight of said penguin pin in the middle of her pale blue blouse. She hadn’t meant to wear that one, but by some psychobabble-subconscious-wizardry, she’d still managed it. It’s even a dancing penguin.

“Oh,” she chuckled, feeling slightly sick.

“It’s cute.” Crystal poked a finger at it, all easy, like all her dates turned up wearing penguins on their shirts. Gigi jolted back in surprise, shocked at the sudden contact. The redhead laughed and stuck her hands in her pockets, “Sorry. Should we go find the line for the roller-coaster?”

The younger woman squirmed a little, grimacing, “Y-Yeah,” she replied, finally, “I guess so.”

The festival was pretty and thrumming, all glimmering blue lights and palm trees, smell of tropical fruit and salt water, luau music. There was smoke and surfboards and the luster of gaudy-pretty streamers, fluttering silver and aqua and yellow. Spots of glitter constellated on Crystal’s cheeks like freckles whenever she looked up.

“I love the summer festival,” The redhead muttered in awe. “Where I grew up the carnivals were smaller than this, but it was my favorite time of the year.”

Gigi only spent the first minute feeling clammy-palmed and sick with worry, because Crystal turned out to be a ridiculously excitable person. Five steps into the festival and her hand came tight down on her wrist, dragging her off because puppies, oh my god, they have puppies, and Gigi went along because what the fuck, she liked puppies too.

The air was caramel-thick and the close press of bodies made the space hot. Crystal watched the puppies jump through loops with wet lashes and a beatific expression, fingers itching forward to grab, to hold. Gigi cooed at a fluffy poodle with curly gray fur and liquid eyes. The older woman pet the top of its head, looking overwhelmed. “I miss my dog,” she whispered quiet, and Gigi felt the sweetness in that sentiment all the way to the tips of her toes.

In some time she asked, a bit hopefully, “Are we going to stay with the puppies forever?” She wanted the answer to be yes, fuck the rollercoaster. Spending the night getting ice cream and playing with dogs sounded much better to her.

Crystal blinked, “Oh,” she shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly, “Sorry. We should go.”

Gigi would’ve much rather stayed. But she dug this grave for himself, and now there was really no choice but to lie in it. She did manage to distract Crystal a little more on the way, which wasn’t much considering Crystal was extremely easy to distract.The brunette only had to wave her arms and say look over there for the tan woman to wildly pick any random direction and find something to look at. They inspected the painted surfboards and wander through a maze of mirrors. They buy a weird little ship in a bottle that Crystal randomly fell in love with. They followed loud pew-pew sounds into a neon-lit, temporarily constructed arcade, where the lifeguard demolished Gigi in some annoying car race game. There were Pokemon in the arcade claw machines that they spent a few minutes trying to win.

“I like Pokemon,” Crystal grinned, and she filed that away, thought of herself saying it to her friends - my girlfriend likes Pokemon. The redhead was focused, tongue peeking out the corner of her lips and eyes narrowed as she navigated the claw. “I have a lot of these”

“I think they’re cute.”

“You do?”

Gigi faulted, colour rushing time her cheeks. “Yeah.”

“I didn’t think you were the type of person to like plushies.”

“What type of person did you think I was?”

Crystal shrugged, not looking away from the claw. “Very cool.”

“Oh.”

The older woman didn’t  seem very bothered by this change in perception but Gigi was, she wanted to clarify, the itch to make herself clear rising and suffocating her until it came out in a fast rush. “My friend says liking soft things doesn’t make you any less any less cool.”

Crystal glanced up, leaning forward to pat Gigi’s chest lightly. Weirdly, when she did it, it wasn’t patronizing at all. Just Crystal letting you know it’s fine. “It makes you more cool, I think.”

“Cooler,” She corrected, feeling her insiders shrivel up at her lameness. “Not more cool, cooler. I mean—that is—never mind.”

Gigi felt like a little moth drawn to a lamp - herself the moth, night-black and dirty with lies. Crystal’s the lamp, warm and sparkly like Christmas stars and fairy lights and she is so gone.

***

The Hurricane Dominator was exactly as Jan said: an atrocity. It climbed steep above the rest of the festival, and just the one visible loop of it made Gigi want to find the nearest trashcan to hurl into. It looped and curled and the cart practically hung suspended upside down at some point. She felt the integral parts of her system begin to shut down already, but Crystal rocked back on her feet, eyes wide and fists clenched, a soft wow shaping her mouth into a little O.

When they got closer, it was obvious that the line stretched all the way around the festival. Crystal’s face dropped a little. “That’s a long queue.”

Gigi tried not to let the relief show on her face. She tugged gently at the taller woman’s sleeve. “Maybe we should go on the smaller rides.”

“No, I can probably bribe someone into letting us cut the line.”

And she proceeded to do just that. Gigi stood back, slack-jawed, watching as Crystal walked up to a random guy and started promising him enough money for burgers and a drink. She threw in the little Pikachu, too, pressing it to the guy’s chest in that universal bro-thing where you slap the shit out of the other dude as hard as possible. The guy grinned and hi-fives her, proceeding to give Crystal her number, and then he and his girlfriend walked right out of the line leaving space for the older woman and Gigi.

“That guy was nice,” The lifeguard smiled, off-hand, when Gigi rushed to join her. “He has a restaurant near the water park. Said he’d give me dumplings on discount if I go there.”

The brunette huts his mouth quickly, trying to hide her astonishment.  “Do you.. is that how the world usually works for you?”

“What do you mean?” Crystal asked. “Oh. Yeah, I make friends fast! But look, we’re right at the front now.”

Gigi could feel herself start to sweat. Panic crawled up her spine, many-legged like spiders, locking up her muscles and breaking out of her in little shivers. She occupied herself with the mole on Crystal’s nose while she chattered happily about previous roller-coasters she’d tried. “There’s a TV show on an Australian channel that’s only about theme parks,” The redhead was babbling happily. Gigi really had to lean in to hear her over the death-screams of the people riding the Hurricane Dominator. “That’s how many theme parks they have. That’s my dream job.”

“Working in an Australian theme-park?”

“No. Having a show about theme-parks.”

“You must really like theme-parks.”

“I like all the rides except that thing that does the vertical drop,” Crystal muttered. “I’m scared of those ones.”

Gigi was scared of everything. As a kid, she was scared of the fucking monkey bars in the neighborhood’s jungle gym. Now that she was older she was afraid of spiders, snakes, foreclosure, unpaid credit cards, roller-coasters, ghosts, and her own truth. If she didn’t get on this thing, how is she going to tell Crystal what she was doing visiting the Vortex of Death multiple times? She imagined that conversation: I think you’re hot, so I took the death-ride twenty-one times so you could pull me out of the pool. How’s that for a meet-cute? Her palms felt clammy and sweat beaded on her brow.

The discomfort must’ve shown on her face, because Crystal asked, suddenly, “Are you okay?”

Gigi felt her soul slowly edge its way out of her body. “What?”

“You look pale. Are you okay? Do you want to sit down?”

She managed to hold her tongue through climbing onto their seats, and even pulled the safety-guard down. The older woman hummed contentedly, ready to go, and turned her head to look at Gigi. Her face fell so abruptly it was like she’d decelerated from mach speed to zero.

“Hey, uhm,” Crystal hesitated, eyes nervous and twitchy, “you look really faint.”

“I feel—I feel like I might,” Gigi flinched at the sound of the rollercoaster creaking, “You know.”

“What?”

“Faint.”

The redhead wriggled a little in her seat. “Do you want to get off? We can get off. We don’t have to-“

“No, no, you wanted to do this.”

“I don’t want to do it if you’re scared,” Crystal whispers, eyebrows furrowing, “There are other rides. We can go on that Twisterado thing - or the Space Pistols-“

The brunette giggled, a bit hysterically.  “I’m scared of all the rides”

“You’re not scared of the Vortex,” Crystal said authoritatively, reaching out to pat Gigi’s thigh. “You love that ride.”

And it was at that moment - with that syrupy-orangey light still playing on Crystal’s skin, with her brows on display and confusion clearly written on her face - that Gigi realized she really couldn’t do this. She couldn’t ride this roller-coaster. She was going to fucking die. All the energy sapped out of her, siphoned through some invisible port and fed to the demonic force that powered the ride.

“I’m fucking terrified of the Vortex,” Gigi gasped, death-bed-confession heavy. “I have nightmares about that thing. When I die and go to hell, all they’ll need to torture me is to make me go on that thing again and again, get me stuck in the bottom every single time, and—”

The tan woman looked like a confused puppy. “What are you talking about? You keep coming back to go on it.”

“Yeah, well.”

“I see you literally every week.”

She shuddered. “Crystal,” he says. “I only go on it because I get - I get to see you.”

The lifeguard looked flabbergasted, eyes the size of saucers and mouth gaping wide. She opened her mouth, like she wanted to say something, and then pursed it shut again. “What?”

Gigi looked at her shoes miserably. “I only g-go on the Vortex of Death because of you. Because you–uh, you save me, and you’re cute, and I…like seeing you.”

Crystal blinked violently, head tilted, puzzlement spilled scatter-shot across her features. But now they were moving, the roller-coaster slowly pulling backward,  and she could feel all of her insides clench up in horrific anticipation of what was to come.

“I know it’s pathetic,” Gigi mumbled, hating how small she sounded. The redhead still wasn’t saying anything. Crystal was probably too nice to say how lame this was.  The brunette wanted the ride to start so her soul could fly out of her body and take her out of the older woman’s range. “It’s so pathetic. I’m sorry.”

Crystal took in a shuddering breath. She opened her mouth again.

And then, with loud music and a horrible tug at Gigi’s stomach - the ride began.

[nanaswhispers]

Calling you.

Day 4 KLAROLINEAUWEEK : AU-AH.

rambling+missing you+drunk+college = this. 

No smut, but language. Uncharacteristically cutesy and light-hearted for me, but I hope still not too sugary.

Enjoy !

Caroline got out of one of the many shabby bars around Princeton, with aching foot from the killer heels she wore all night, and with the throbbing rhythm of that awful music drilling through her head from the amount of alcohol she consumed.

All she, and her friends, had wanted to do that evening was to relax, let loose, have some good time since they finally finished the ultimate exam period after weeks of brain wracking, all-nighters, coffee-induced hazes, subsequent zombie faces and no social life whatsoever.

Actually, she finally finished school. Now she only had to wait for the results in order to really close that important chapter of her life.

Their night of enjoyment really had been due, and frankly they deserved it. They all (theoretically) had their diplomas in pocket (a master in journalism and web communication in Caroline’s case) tons of loans to pay off and hesitant enthusiasm for their new lives on their minds.

She was proud to get her diploma, with good grades (and no she was not being presumptuous, she just didn’t work like a horse for weeks and months without the results she deserved). She was Caroline fucking Forbes after all.

And she really had a great time with the whole gang, minus one major nuisance.  

But, now that she was drunk, tired and finally free to think bout other things than classes, the thing that has been in the back of her mind for not only the entire night but also the last few weeks came back with force and she couldn’t put it away again: she missed Klaus really hard. Like, really, really, really hard.

She has not seen him for months, and with her exams and his new job at the MOMA, they couldn’t even find the time to communicate by phone or even Skype.

Caroline fumbled to find the pocket attached to her jacket, and after a few moments and grunts, took her phone quickly and (drunkenness severely obstructing her rationality) called him immediately. Even if it was approximately four in the morning. And he was most probably sleeping. And he had work early in the morning. Whatev’s!

The dial tone rang a few times, so much that Caroline even thought he actually wouldn’t answer, and finally, at the last ring, his tired, sleepy and gruff voice answered.

“Sweetheart? Why are you calling so late?” he paused, and then teased her, as usual. “You missing me?”

Oh, how she missed that accent of his, and his voice, and the confused, sleepy yet smirky, face she imagined he wore at that instant, and his wonderful curly hair she loved to grip hard, and his hands, and the heat of his skin, and his neck, and his…

“Caroline, love, is something wrong?”

She realized that while he waited on the phone for her to answer him, she had lost herself in imagining him, so she giggled, obviously.

“Hi baby… No, nothing’s wrong… I just reeeeally miss you babe.”

Klaus didn’t answer immediately, and she thought that maybe he had actually fallen back asleep while waiting for her to respond.

“How drunk are you, sweetheart?”

And apparently, she really didn’t do a marvelous job at hiding the slur in her words like she thought she had.

“Yeah… been celebrating the end of exams babe. I was out with Stef, Bon, Josh and Elena. Uhhh and Damon too, since potential drama is like chocolate icing on cake for him. I swear, I’ll never understand why is Elena mooning over such an asshole. The whole night he was explicitly trying to get on my nerves : “Care-bear, you sure you want that ice-cream, this shirt isn’t really fitting you that well already?”; “Blondie, maybe you should take a nice mimosa instead of that bourbon, wouldn’t want your clit to become a dick, am I right?”; “You sure seem eager for some fun tonight, what, Klausie not satisfying your needs Barbie? Oh right, I forgot, not really around anymore is he?” Why is that guy so fucking annoying?! Isn’t there like… a group therapy thing for aggravating people that you want to punch in the face and/or stab every time they opened their mouths?!”

She heard a deep chuckle in her ear, and thus, was reminded that she actually rambled to someone and not alone, like she thought she did. And that someone was actually her sexy boyfriend of three years, Niklaus fucking Mikaelson, artistic genius, intelligent psycho and panty-dropper extraordinaire. Mmh, and his dick! (Fuck, she won big with this one.) 

“I don’t know if there is such a thing love, I’ll look around tomorrow and ask a few questions to the right people, but if there is, consider Damon already on the waiting list.”

“Thank you sweetie baby, I knew I loved you for some reason!”

“How many drinks did you ingest love? I know it was at least a small dozen since you seem to be unable to stop calling me some declination of “baby”….”

“I don’t know boo, but definitely a lot… How can you speak so aloquently-, eloquin-, eloquen… good, when I just woke you up?!”

Her loudness control went away with each additional drink it seemed, or at least it appeared so judging by the few people that stood around her on the pavement in front of the bar and looked at her very strangely at that moment. 

Her boyfriend only chuckled.

“Call it inherent talent or simply, genius, love, your choice.”

She smiled like a loon at the omnipresent arrogance in his voice. She knew he exaggerated it only for her enjoyment (even if he was without a doubt an arrogant asshole sometimes) only to make her laugh. And she did.

But that laugh quickly quieted down.

“What is it Caroline?”

“I really do miss you Nik… I haven’t seen you in such a long time, I don’t even know which month it was! (Well I do know, because “Hello!” I’m still the kind of neurotic Caroline Forbes, but it hasn’t the same impact you know?)” 

She paused a little while he giggled,in a manly way of course…

“I know, I know… we were both super busy: me trying to get that damned diploma and finish those exams from hell, and you settling in New York for your new, fantastic, career-jumping job, but… I just miss you. I want to kiss you, I want to cuddle with you and wake up without having to take my phone just to hear your voice, you know?”

She only heard silence for a while, then a swallow, and finally Klaus answered, his voice a little more subdued and gentle.

“Sweetheart, I know. I miss you tremendously too. I’m so glad that you can finally come join me now that your exams are over. I would have waited even years for you, and I don’t have the words to describe how thrilled I am to talk with you, and hear you say you missed me as much as I did you. But, love, you shouldn’t cry, this temporary separation can come out as a positive period for our relationship.”

Caroline swept her cheek with her hand, and (she really hated to admit it) Klaus was right, she had been crying without even knowing. She felt good because of his reassurances, they had lost so much contact these last few weeks that uncontrollably she began having doubts about their relationship, Damon certainly did not help tonight. But, she was troubled by his last words.

“How can it be that both us missing each other like crazy is a good thing huh?! Were you happy that I wasn’t there? That you didn’t have to deal with neurotic, exam-stressed Caroline? … Are you having doubts about us Niklaus?!”

“Sweetheart, please, calm down. Don’t make allegations you know are not true. I’m saying, Caroline, that it is a good thing because it served a purpose for the long term. It shows that we’re not like all those other couples made during college years, that once in the real world or with a change of situation as big as ours just crumble… it shows we’re made to last, love. That we were meant to be. That we’re strong enough.”

“Thanks, now I’m crying even harder Klaus! Why do you have to be so damn… you?!” She sniffed a few times, and continued a little bit more composed. “I think I’m calling you this late more often from now on, if you are so uncharacteristically optimistic and romantic during the night? Were you having pleasant dreams? Is that why?”

She only heard a soft laugh, again, and a short bout of silence afterward.

“Sweetheart, take a bus and come to New York. Come to me. Let’s start our lives together.”

His voice sounded resolute and determined, as if it was the most obvious and natural statement in the world.

And it really was. (She was already running, well, trying to, drunk and in 6 inches heels wasn’t really the best combo.)

[thatwanderingwriter]

92 Truths

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself, then tag 25 people

Tagged by my cyclone - @redrackham87 

LATEST…

[1] Drink: black currant fanta [2] Telephone call: dani [3] Text message: reagan [4] Song you heard:  “pieces” by andrew belle [5] What do you think?: well my general opinion on life is that everyone tries too hard, but I’m sure that’s not what you meant

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] How do you do it?: maybe it’s maybelline [7] He has cheated on you: do you mean my celebrity crush? because yes, he’s gone out with other girls and not me [8] He kissed someone and lamented: i’m sure, because he’s never actually spoken to me [9] How do you do? f(reaked out) i(nsecure) n(eurotic) e(motional) [10] Depressed: eh, it comes and goes [11] Got drunk and thrown up: never been drunk

LIST THREE PREFERRED COLORS …

[12] bright blue [13] black  [14] lavender

IN THE PAST YEAR…

[15] made new friends: yes, and they’ve really helped me. they made life more bearable and made me see i wasn’t entirely alone [16] fallen in love: with the people here [17] laughed until you cried: yep, quite frequently  [18] discovered that someone was talking about you: yes. i hear “mzungu” everywhere i go and it’s not fun [19] met someone who changed you: the mother of four who was dying of aids yet still forgave her husband for leaving her with the kids when she was extremely sick. i’ll never forget that [20] discovered who your real friends are: when you move halfway around the world and only 3 people semi keep in touch, yeah, you tend to realize [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: lol, no

GENERAL…

[22] How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: ...all of them? if you mean do i still keep in touch or regularly see them, no. i don’t really even use fb anymore [23] Do you have any pets? 16 chickens, 7 cows, 3 cats, 2 dogs, and a partridge in a pear tree [24] Do you want to change your name: i always thought it’d be cool when i was younger, but then i wouldn’t be an abstract concept and it’s grown on me also i feel like everyone i know will continue to call me hope anyways, or like “that person formerly known as hope” so... [25] What did you do for your last birthday? went to the nearest big town and had a small get together

[26] What time did you wake up? this section says “general”, so i’ll go with anywhere  from 5:45 to 7:00 on any given day [27] What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping. i’ve been sleep deprived this whole week and i needed the rest [28] Name something you can’t wait for: flying back home [29] When was the last time you saw your mother? like 3 hours ago?? [30] What is one thing that you wish you could change in your life: sometimes i wish i didn’t care so much or overthink things. it’d make my life way less complicated. but then other days i’d just say my hair color, probably [31] What are you listening to right now: the waves of lake victoria crashing against the beach outside my window. also some birds. natural nature sounds are the best [32] Have you ever spoken to a person named Tom?: he is my grandfather and lives 100 feet away so yes. [33] Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that MY PHONE FREAKING STOPPED WORKING AND I HAVE 1 MONTH UNTIL I CAN GET A NEW ONE!!! [34] Most visited website: ao3 tbh [35] Elemental: earth

[36] High school: did you mean: homeschool [37] School: of repressing my feelings and acting like everything’s fine [38] Hair Color: i’m pretty sure the shade is called  dirty blonde, but that’s because i haven’t been to a salon in 2 years. it’s literally the first thing to go when i get back. i need it darker   [39] Long or short hair: long and curly, which means it’s actually super long [40] Do you have a crush on someone: who don’t i have a crush on is the correct question here. but they’re mainly celebrities or fictional characters

[41] What do you like about yourself: that i continue to try even when i’ve messed up before [42] Piercings: one in each ear, but i want to get a second set [43] Type of blood: a+ [44] Nicknames: anyango, nyakwar kadem [45] Marital status: i’m a single pringle that’s ready to stay inside and binge watch on netflix

[46] Zodiac sign: aries [47] Pronouns: she/her [48] Fav television program: it’s cute you think there’s just one. anything marvel really. i like fantasy, sci-fi, crime shows, some superhero shows, comedy. there’s too many to name [49] Tattoos: my dad would kill me no matter how old i was [50] Right or left hand: i always wanted to be ambidextrous, but any 3 year old can write better than my left hand

FIRST…

[51] surgery: tubes in my ears when i was 3  [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: i think my first best friend was natalie [54] sport: gymnastics when i was 3 [55] vacation: mexico, age 4  [56] pair of coaches: i’m guessing this is for sports again? i can’t remember their names, but there were these 2 super nice ladies teaching my gymnastics class

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nutella out of the jar (don’t judge, we all do it) [58] drinking: water [59] I’m about to: start preparing for something i have to do tomorrow. as usual, i’ve procrastinated  [60] listening to: the waves still [61] waiting: for my life to chill (wishful thinking, right)  [62] wanting: a veggie burger and coffee milkshake  [63] getting married: eventually [64] career: doctor or author. can’t decide

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: there’s no cure like a really good hug from the right person when  you need it [66] lips or eyes: both are just so expressive. [67] shorter or taller: taller so he doesn’t lean on me [68] major or minor: i don’t really get this, but i’m going to guess you mean music. as most songs are in major chords, that’s probably the majority of what i like [69] romantic or spontaneous: imo, they’re the same thing  [70] good arms or good stomach: okay but here’s the thing, tom hiddleston  [71] sensitive or strong: yes [72] connection or connection: are there words missing here?  [73] troublemaker or hesitant: neither

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: nope [75] drank strong liquor?: no [76] lost glasses / contact lenses? not yet [77] rejected someone?: yes [78] had sex on the first date?: i haven’t period  [79] broken someone’s heart?: i doubt it [80] had you heart broken?: quite a bit, yes [81] been arrested?: no [82] cried when someone died?: yes [83] fallen for a friend?: yes. do not recommend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: i can do a lot of things right and be happy with myself for a day, then do one thing wrong and ruminate over it for weeks. i do try to believe in myself. sometimes it’s just really hard [85] miracles?: yes i believe in miracles. where you from, you sexy thang [86] love at first sight?: yeah, just not for me. someone can look/seem nice and be really terrible. there are also crushes at first sight. but those never turn out the way you want them to [87] father christmas?: i never actually believed in santa, even as a kid [88] kissing on the first date?: depends on if i know them really well before. if not, no  [89] angels?: yes

OTHER…

[90] Name of the current best friend: luz, and i’m so excited to see her again soon [91] Eye color: i joke that i have mood eyes, but it’s really true. some days they lean towards green or grey, but on most they’re a variant of blue [92] Favorite movie: avengers (and anything marvel), penelope, rodger’s and hammerstein’s cinderella, jane eyre, star wars, clueless, the fault in our stars, in time, around the world in 80 days, (500) days of summer, etc. (this is not a “one movie to rule them all” type of situation here. you’ll never make me choose. NEVEEERRRRRRR)

dang, that was a lot. i really don’t know who to tag, so if you want to do it, go ahead.

[myaekingheart]

I've been lagging on weird dream documentation. I remember last night's (VIVIDLY) and I remember Tuesday night's but Wednesday night's have faded from my memory so oh well. There goes that. I'm going to flip the script a bit here and start with the most recent dream from last night because I remember it so fucking vividly I want to jot it down as soon as possible before this acid trip fades from my memory.

Last night I dreamed that my parents and I went to this Asian flea market/convention with this other Asian woman who I don't know in real life. When we got there, she started looking for a friend of hers who was running a food booth. So in an effort to capture her attention through the crowd, she lifted me up and started shaking me around above her head. The lady noticed us and we made our way over and she had a little kitchen and a table set up of food like orange chicken and peking pork and chicken nuggets and white rice. The Asian meats were getting kind of low or something so I grabbed like eight chicken nuggets and piled on white rice and then the woman took my little paper boat plate and poured some strange white sauce on my nuggets-- it was either ranch or tartar sauce, I'm not sure which. My mind is leaning more towards tartar. Anyways, as we started eating, these two KPop wannabes in matching dark red jumpsuits with no shirts on underneath (jackets open) came over and started terrorizing everyone and being a real nuisance. The little Asian woman flipped her shit and tried to chase them out, holding up a sign that said "No more Loopy Boys." She complained of how they'd always come over and terrorize her and she had no idea how to stop them, so then, with a cop father, I was like "We can help!" so I enlisted my dad's help in foiling their illegal plans and arresting them. I hooked up my earbuds to my phone as if I was wearing a wine and tried to discretely hid these under my hair and in my jacket so that the Loopy Boys wouldn't see but that my dad could hear everything that was going on through a phone call and tell me what to do or say in the earbuds. So I said bye to my dad and the Asian woman and went on my way but as I was walking trying to find the Loopy Boys, but as I was walking I apparently got side-tracked and next thing I knew, I was just wandering around the convention/flea market looking at everything there was to offer. Many of the vendors were, in fact, Asian, but some of them weren't. There was one stand in a cardboard hallway painted to look like brick that had really fancy Renaissance costumes on display like a Robin Hood-esque hunter and an ethereal fairy, and the blonde woman running the stand was a woman I had actually met at a Ren faire once who had a unicorn with her. At some point while I was wandering through the convention, I went from undercover spy to Merida cosplayer and as I was looking at a set of glass plated Disney nightlights inset in a white panel, a girl I used to know in high school came over in cosplay and asked to take my picture, apparently not recognizing me. I obliged and let her take it and wondered to myself afterward if she really had no idea it was me, especially since this girl had seen me in this exact same costume during Spirit Week once in high school. There was a set of shelves selling cheap cosplay wigs, as well, and as I wandered over to look at them, these two girls who I didn't recognize as people I knew somehow recognized me, calling my name and waving. I forced a smile and waved back as I was walking away, totally confused. The last part of the dream was perhaps the weirdest, though. The flea market/convention was in this massive multi-room warehouse and as it got later and later into the night, I realized I was utterly lost. There was a large archway into what looked like another hallway or room painted to look like brick where there was a little haunted house in the same fashion as the Haunted Mansion in Disney World except kind of ghetto. The doom buggies were still a thing, but it was more of a venture around a circular track that tried to be spooky but failed miserably. I made my way over and hopped in one of the buggies, deciding to go for a ride. I had an entire ride car to myself which was nice. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea when I was fucking LOST but I don't know, I guess we make really weird fucking decisions in our dreams. Anyways, I boarded the thing and we started ascending up this slope behind a trail of other doom buggies. There was a rather stout woman with short, dyed blonde hair and glasses in a white button down, black blazer, and black trousers who was operating the ride. As we rode the slope upwards, however, the ride suddenly stopped and we all began sliding back down to the loading dock. Being one of the people who absolutely hates that part in the Haunted Mansion when we tilt backwards and descend the staircase, this was a panic inducer for me and I started freaking out wondering why the fuck the ride was malfunctioning in the first place. A few people ahead of me followed me down to the loading station as well, meanwhile everyone else in front after a certain buggy went ahead through the ride and unloaded at the unloading dock I suppose. Basically the main goal was to empty the ride cars and shut the ride down for the night. I remember sitting there panicking and asking the ride operator woman which way to go to get to the front of the building where my parents were surely waiting and worried about me. She gave me some vague directions as she did her job directing buggies by hand as if they were cars in a traffic jam and then after she was finished and everyone else was emptied off the ride, she came over to me and this young blonde guy/teen in the buggy in front of me and without a single word, tossed a piece of fucking bread in each of our laps. I asked her what the fuck that was for and she said "You're employees here now. Here's your bread" and then walked away. Last thing I remember is just sitting there defeated picking at my sad little piece of fucking bread wondering what the fuck just happened.

Tuesday night I had a ton of dreams that I, by now, have very vague memories of but I jotted down brief notes on each so I wouldn't forget.

First one had something to do with taking an exam. I was in a classroom for an exam or something and then I was enlisted to do my friend's hair like Rapunzel's in the theme park but when I went to grab my Tic Tac container of bobby pins (because I keep my bobby pins in a used Tic Tac container), they were gone. I panicked until I discovered this boy I knew in elementary school (who used to bully me and whose birthday was the other day via facebook's shitty reminders) stole them so I did the only rational thing and kicked him in the balls.

Second one was perhaps the most vivid of the many dreams I had that night. A shit-ton of my family was in my apartment (or a version of it, at least) for some huge family gathering. My mom had, as always, made enough food to feed an entire third world country and I remember being in the kitchen as she guided me through all the Thanksgiving-esque meals she had made, including one rather digusting one that had something to do with sweet potatoes and rice mixed together??? She dumped some on a paper plate I was holding and I ventured off into the living room to sit down and eat, where some of my other family members were sitting and chowing down. I remember being really fucking confused because I checked my phone calendar and it said it was Labor Day (and a Sunday) but there was also a note on there tagged for the entire week that had something to do with references and my elementary school best friend??? It was all very strange.

I don't know if this dream was tied into the family gathering one but it was a thing that happened at some point in one of these dreams, if it wasn't a separate dream altogether, but it was very brief and I want to say it occurred in the same version of my apartment, though I honestly cannot remember. I just remember standing by the front door, interior, with a group of about three old men (think Grumpy Old Men) in heavy, perhaps multiple, puffer jackets. There was one who very much resembled Mickey Rooney who ripped off a blue puffer jacket (only to have a gray one underneath it), threw it on the ground, said "Fuck Alaska" and walked outside into a snowstorm.

I can't remember if this had anything to do with any of the other dreams, too, but I remember also checking my phone and seeing news articles about Aerosmith's Joe Perry dying. I remember seeing one on facebook that said "Dead: Aerosmith member..." or something to that effect, something elusive and suspenseful, and fearing that it was Steven Tyler who had passed on for the sake of my best friend, who is a huge Steven Tyler fan.

The last dream here was probably my favorite and probably the most inventive of the night? There were these two characters, a girl who had never experienced love before and her guy friend. The guy very much reminded me of Varian from Tangled the Series; he was this alchemist with curly black hair, pale skin, and I want to say he had purple eyes? He was super adorable. His girl friend reminded me very of my character in this animation project I've been involved with; she had dark skin and dark hair and was tall and full figured. I forget what her occupation was but she was definitely very driven but socially anxious. And this all took place in a rather steampunky setting. I don't remember how this next part came about but there was something about some swimming competition and next thing I knew, the girl and the guy were in this indoor pool area with wooden walls and large windows filtering in lots of light behind the diving boards and bleachers like out of a high school gymnasium. The guy and the girl were standing at the base of diving boards right next to each other and the judge was this other woman who was shorter than the girl with tan skin and dark hair, very Hispanic looking, in a red one-piece swimsuit like a lifeguard. She was sitting on this odd contraption that was like a hovering lifeguard chair, almost. It was basically a chair with a control panel podium in front, and both were on a gray circular base attached to a large intertube looking thing. It very much reminded me of the Flying Saucers or Luigi's Flying Tires that were at Disneyland. Or an air hockey puck, more in function than design as it was hovering over the water like actually suspended in the air level with the diving boards. The lifeguard lady seemed stern and very serious about her business with a whistle in her mouth. Both the alchemist boy and his girl friend liked this girl, however, and I can assume that the build up to this scene must have involved some friendly competition to get her attention or something. Either way, as they were standing there on the diving boards, the girl friend was fucking terrified both because she was terrified of the diving board itself and because she wanted so much to impress the lifeguard lady. The guy could tell how much his friend cared about this, whereas he was more of a player who had more experience in love than she did, and so because he knew she had never experienced love or relationships before, he made the executive decision to let his girl friend get the girl. The girl was super happy but at the same time, decided she wasn't strong enough to jump off the diving board and so she stood petrified as the board did this funky thing where it mechanically turned and somehow went vertical and slid the girl friend onto the ground next to her like Wallace and Gromit bed style. Despite her failure to proceed with the diving competition thing (which I don't actually remember seeing the results of in the dream), the girl friend and the lifeguard lady got together and the last scene I remember seeing was them in their cute little Steampunk outfits walking arm in arm along through a rather Western looking town, specifically past a wooden pub like the one in Back to the Future Part III. One of them had a lacey parisol cast over the both of them. The girl friend was in hot pink and black vertical stripe pants and little black Victorian boots with a bustle and corset and black blouse, like everything about her outfit was very hot pink and black similar to Cheshire Cat from Hullabaloo. I don't remember what the lifeguard lady was wearing but it was something cute and stereotypically steampunk. I don't know, it was just really fucking cute honestly. Steampunk lesbians.

[tarahutchjewelry]

58 Reasons to Feel Good About Your Body (at Any Size!)

From SparkPeople

Written by Ellen G. Goldman, Health and Wellness Coach

One particularly hot September afternoon when my daughter was in the fourth grade, she invited a few friends to enjoy an after-school swim in our pool. They entered the house filled with laughter and excitement and rushed upstairs to change into their bathing suits.   Passing her room while putting away some laundry, I overheard, ''Ugh, I look terrible.  I shouldn’t be wearing this bikini. My stomach is like a bowl of Jell-O.'' ''At least you don’t have thunder thighs!'' ''What are you both talking about? I’m the fatty here!''   The giggling had been replaced with self-criticism and disgruntled voices.  I was devastated.  These girls were only nine years old. They hadn’t even reached double-digits, and they were already judging their bodies harshly.   I have always been fascinated by the lack of self-confidence and body image issues women struggle with.  As a wellness professional, female, mother and friend, there has been no shortage of experiences when I’ve witnessed women, myself included, make derogatory remarks about their bodies.   We could probably have a heated discussion about the many reasons why this is so, but that’s for another article. I just want to share with you the many wonderful comments I have collected over the last several weeks asking female clients, family and friends, ''What is one body part you can feel grateful for, love and appreciate, no matter what size and shape it is right now, and why?''   Let us all stop the criticism and emphasize the positive. Let’s help ourselves and our daughters appreciate and value our bodies of all shapes and sizes. Read the responses below; they will make you smile, laugh or perhaps even bring tears to your eyes. I hope you will feel inspired, and begin to think of what you have to thank your body for. It’s time to focus on the amazing vehicle we walk around in, and proactively take care every day to give it the nourishment, movement and rest it needs to perform at it’s best.   Here are 58 reasons women gave me about why they love their bodies. After reading them, take a moment to think about all the reasons why you should feel awesome about your own!

''I love my big, beautiful sparkling eyes because they are the windows from which I see the world.''

''I love my smile. People tell me I light up a room with it, and it makes others feel welcome and cared for.''

''I love my arms because they enable me to embrace my loved one.''

''I love my strong arms because they allow me to carry my children.''

''I love my hands because they fit perfectly into my daughter’s when we cross the street together.''

''I love my strong legs because they allow me to climb up and down the stairs in my colonial home hundreds of times a week.''

''I love my legs because they take me up the mountain when I hike near my home.''

''I love my hands because they let me hold the hands of someone else who needs my support.''

''I love my legs because they allow me to pedal my bike and feel the wind in my face.''

''I love my legs because they keep me moving quickly enough to return the tennis ball on the courts.''

''I love the relaxing feeling of my toes sinking into the sand when I get to the beach.''

''I love my finger because it lets me show off the gorgeous wedding band my husband gave me the day we married.''

''I love my neck because it is long and gracious. I show it off with fun necklaces.''

''I love my strong back because it carries my knapsack with my schoolbooks as my legs take me across campus.''

''I love and am grateful for my ears because they allow me to enjoy my greatest passion, which is music and sound!''

''I love that my body lets me lie in my hammock and enjoy the breeze in the summer late afternoons.''

''I love my hands and legs because I can use them to dance the waltz with a partner.''

''I love my stomach. It kept my twin babies warm and secure until they were ready to enter this world.''

''I love my long, slender fingers. Without them, I couldn’t play the beautiful music I love on my piano.''

''I love my firm hands, which help me chop and dice the ingredients for my home cooked meals.''

''I love how my calves look and make me feel sexy in high heels.''

''I love how my body cuts through the water when I swim, making me feel buoyant.''

''I love my lap. It gives my nieces and nephews a place to sit and cuddle with me.''

''I love my upright, straight back. Everyone says I have beautiful posture.''

''I love my strong, flexible shoulders because they allow me to serve and swing my tennis racket when engaging in my favorite sport.''

''I love my arms. Even at 65 years old, I still wear sleeveless shirts without feeling self-conscious.''

''I love my hands because they help me pick the tomatoes from my garden.''

''I love my hands because they floss and brush my teeth so that I can take care of my smile.''

''I love my ears because they let me hear children laughing, birds singing and music that fills my heart with joy.''

''I love my legs because although they don't look like anything special, they carry me through my days without fail.''

''I love my knees and my hands. Resting on a cushion, my knees let me bend down for hours in my garden. My hands let me plant the seeds that turn into beautiful flowers for all to enjoy.''

''I love my hands because they are soft and have a nice length to them, and I have strong, natural nails. I think there is a simple elegance in a natural nail with simply nail polish, so for me, I really enjoy my hands.''

''I love my ankles because they are strong enough for me to play hopscotch with my students. My kindergarten girls love it when I join in at recess.''

''I love my strong legs that keep me mobile...either through mundane daily routines or long walks with my family and dog.''

''I love my hands because they allow me to place a bite of nourishing food into my mouth.''

''I love my hips because although so many of my friends have needed hip replacements, mine are still strong and pain-free.''

''I love my eyes for being able to see the rainbows that cast their brilliance against the mountains after an evening thunderstorm.''

''I love and am grateful for my full head of hair that remains thick and healthy despite the passing years.''

''I love my legs for climbing up steep mountains, pumping me up the canyon on a bicycle, providing me instant transportation when I need to get away from life's worries and create a positive shift in my experience.''

''I love my hands and fingers because they let me play Pachelbel’s Canon in D on the piano.''

''I love my missing breasts because they were a sign of my womanhood and fed my newborns. Although I used to complain about them being big and heavy, post mastectomy, I miss them every day.''

''I love and am grateful for my entire body, with all of it's imperfections...because without this mortal vessel, I could not experience all the joy and pain of living, from a long-lingering kiss of my beloved to holding a new baby or puppy in my arms for the first or maybe the last time.''

''I love my eyes.  Not only do they allow me to see all that is beautiful around me including the beautiful people, but they also allow me to express my love and feelings to others.''

''I love my waist because no matter how many years go by, I can still hula hoop like I did when I was a little girl.''

''I love my feet because they keep me super balanced whether I'm in chef shoes, 6-inch heels or in dance shoes stepping backwards while doing the waltz.  Plus, they look cute with hot pink toe polish in summer sandals!''

''I love my hands because they enable me to type emails and turn the pages of a good book.''

''I love my hands because they let me have fun playing cards or dominoes with friends.''

''I love my hair because I have fun with it. I typically change it with the season and will often switch between keeping it straight and leaving it curly. Although I complain about it, and would love hair like Christina Aguilera’s, I'm truly fortunate to have hair that I can be so versatile with.'' 

''I love and am grateful for my arms, which are getting stronger every day. I have been strength training and doing barre classes and I can see the definition in them. And they allow me to carry groceries and shopping bags without trouble!''

''I love my eyes because they are distinctive and they serve me well. Others often comment on them and that makes me feel good.''

''I love and feel awesome about my whole body because it brings me great pleasure when I forget all my cares and worries and dance around the ballroom floor.''

''I love my nose because it allows me to smell the aromas of home cooked meals (and the occasional spoiled food hiding in the fridge.)''

''I love my long, slender waist because not matter what I weigh, it’s always slimmer than the rest of me.''

''I love my wrist because when I look at it I see the beautiful watch my Mom bought me when I graduated college. It makes me feel closer to her even though we live far apart.''

''I love my hair because it is low maintenance. It hasn’t grayed, and I can cut it myself, and it almost always looks good; to me anyway!''

''I love my feet with their three perfectly-designed arches that hold the foundation of my body. They add stability for movement, are great for running into the arms of my husband or greeting someone with joy. My feet let me dance and are still strong enough for me to do cartwheels.''

''I love my heart because it beats strong within my chest, and is filled with love and goodness for everyone I meet.''

''I love my body as a whole and think of it as a wonderful, yet mysterious moving piece of artwork. I can walk, talk, sing and dance. I can see, hear, smell and taste. There are so many people who cannot do these things, so I am grateful for what I have and that I can still do everything I want to do. I can hug my children, kiss my husband, eat with family and dance with my friends.  It's all good!''

What is YOUR favorite part of your body and why? Share it in the comments below! Let's start a revolution and stop hating our bodies!