#my best friend told me she wants to start trying soon and my throat closed up immediately. I couldnt even pretend I was excited for her

[kittlyns]

Coming to the realization that I'm never going to be a fun aunt to my friends' babies because I always feel like I'm losing more than I'm gaining

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 22 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: It's terrifying to realize you don't know if Bradley is safe. As the lonely days stretch on and on, you try to savor the notes from him. Once the final two envelopes have been opened, you know you need the real thing.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, adult language, romantic as hell Bradley, 18+

Length: 2600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Other than your car, everything you owned was inside Bradley's house. Over the last few weeks, Natasha helped you load up his Bronco and make a few trips down, but she looked at you like you were crazy when you told her you were going to leave most things packed up for now.

"Why?" she asked, leaning on a stack of boxes in the living room. "Even if he gets stationed in Norfolk, you'll finish out your school year here before he sells the house."

But you didn't want him to sell his house. You loved it here. Being in his living space was the closest thing to being with him when he was deployed, and you didn't think it was fair that he might have to give this up. What would Edith do without Bradley to help her? What would Bradley do in a different state without his best friend? No, you simply couldn't unpack, just in case, but you also couldn't accept Virginia with any finality until you were explicitly told it was happening.

"I just wish I could talk to him," you whispered.

"Soon," Nat replied, and you jumped, surprised to find you weren't alone in your thoughts. "I just moved a million boxes. I deserve a trip to the wine bar, and so do you. Bradley will be back soon enough."

"Nine days. Not soon enough." 

It was nine days until he was supposed to get back to Norfolk. On Valentine's Day. Then right after that, it was Career Day at your school. You had been holding onto a few of the envelopes and gift cards from him, trying to make them last, but you were almost out. You needed the real thing again.

Natasha groaned. "You are so in love with him, it's kind of gross. Let's go drink wine, and I'll tell you more tales from before the mustache."

You took one more look at the few unopened letters lined up on the coffee table before grabbing the gift card for the wine bar. But even southern California looked gloomy on the drive up. The wine was good, but you were just tired. Natasha told you all about how she tried to give Bradley the call sign Chicken Man, and you laughed at the idea of that emblazoned along the side of his jet. She also seemed to be able to tell just how melancholy you were.

"You're doing great," she told you, setting down her wine glass. "You're counting down the hours until you can talk to Bradley again. Vanessa would have probably been too busy with her water bottles to remember to pick him up from the airport. There's a reason why it's hard, and it's because he loves you as much as you love him."

You did your best to keep it together after that, but there was a lump in your throat, holding back your emotions, and when you got back home, you started crying on the couch. Big, fat tears rolled down your cheeks, blurring your vision, but you knew which envelope you were reaching for.

Open me when you've had a bad day

As you tore into the envelope, you realized there was another envelope inside it. The second envelope said Take me to The Bayside Florist and give me to someone who works there.

"What is this, Bradley?" you whispered out loud, reaching for your phone to see if the shop was still open this late on a Saturday. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized they closed in an hour, and you grabbed the envelope along with your phone and keys and ran out to your car.

In a matter of minutes, you parked in front of an adorable flower shop with The Bayside Florist in pink lettering on the awning. You felt a little silly taking the envelope inside, but when you were greeted by an older woman with a warm smile, you started to hand it to her.

"This might sound odd, but my boyfriend is deployed, and he left me this envelope," you said with a laugh. "Apparently I was supposed to bring it here?"

The woman adjusted her glasses as a smile found her lips. "Oh, yes. I remember him. Tall? With a mustache? Handsome?"

You bit your lip to keep from making an embarrassing noise. "Yeah, that sounds just like him."

She nodded and opened the envelope, humming in agreement with whatever she read inside. "I have something for you. Wait right here." 

Then she disappeared through a doorway, and you walked around the inside of the shop, examining the arrangements and enjoying the scent of so many types of flowers mingling together. You weren't quite sure what Bradley had up his sleeve from thousands of miles away, but you were almost positive it was about to make your day so much better.

"Special delivery from your boyfriend."

Startled, you spun around to see a stunning bouquet of flowers in every color on the counter, complete with an envelope tucked in amidst the blooms. "That's for me?" you whispered.

"From your boyfriend," she confirmed.

You stifled a whimper as you reached for the flowers. "Am I supposed to pay for this?"

"He already did."

Tears stung your eyes as you pulled the envelope that said Gorgeous from between two roses. It was written in his handwriting. You thought you should read it in the privacy of your own car, so you thanked the woman and then headed back outside. Once you were sitting behind the steering wheel, you set the flowers aside in favor of the note.

Gorgeous,

I never want you to have a bad day, but I really hate that you're having one when I'm not with you. If I could be anywhere in the world right now, I'd choose to be next to you. Will you write about your day in your journal so we can talk about it later? I can't wait to talk about everything with you. I love you.

Bradley

Now that the tears started, you just let yourself cry.

--------------------------

Constantly wondering if your boyfriend was even okay was taking a toll on you. Your classroom was supposed to be your safe haven right now. Your place of comfort. Your refuge. But a few days before Bradley was supposed to get back into Norfolk, you were short and snippy with your class. You didn't mean to be, but it was happening anyway.

"Just sit down," you told Oliver, voice taking on a sharp, scolding edge that was usually never there. All eighteen of your kids sat with their backs straight in their seats and their hands folded on their desks like they were worried you were going to start yelling. This was never how you wanted to conduct your class. These kids were really well behaved for the most part, and you wanted them to have a lot of fun mixed in with their school lessons.

You turned away from them to try to catch your breath. The past few nights had been filled with restless sleep and a pain in your heart that wouldn't go away until you knew Bradley was safe. You cleared your throat, trying so hard to figure out what you wanted to say for your social studies lesson, but you couldn't shake your mind free from the anxiety you were feeling.

Picturing the flowers that you put in a Miller High Life pitcher you found in the kitchen after Bradley didn't appear to own a vase made you smile enough that you were able to turn around again.

"I need everyone to open their textbook to page eighty-seven." The only sound was pages rustling as you added, "And I promise I'll make this a fun unit for us."

When you finally left work that afternoon, you decided to let yourself open the last envelope from Bradley. It had been in your tote bag for a few days, just waiting for the right moment. Open me when you really want some coffee. You could clearly use the extra caffeine today, so you tore into the envelope as you walked across the parking lot. Just like before, there was an envelope inside the first envelope. 

Take me to Starbucks and give me to someone who works there.

Now you were smiling. You got to go to another place of business with an envelope like an absolute lunatic, and you were really looking forward to it. You stopped at the Starbucks closest to your school, and when you handed the envelope to the girl who tried to take your order, she raised one eyebrow.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I think it's kind of a treasure hunt of sorts from my boyfriend who is deployed," you told her with a shrug. 

Then you watched her open the envelope and remove a note along with a gift card. Her eyes skimmed the text, and her face transformed into the sappiest smile. "Oh my god," she said, looking back up at you. "I wish someone loved me this much," she muttered and then turned away from you, reaching for the biggest cup and a Sharpie.

You waited awkwardly for a few minutes while she made your drink. You could tell it was your favorite drink. Bradley somehow ordered your favorite drink for you to enjoy. Warmth filled your body, and you accepted the cup from her. "Thanks," you murmured as she paid using the gift card, and that's when you realized she had written something on the cup.

Gorgeous, I love you. I can't wait to come home. Bradley

"Does he have a brother?"

You looked up at the girl who made your coffee. "What?" you asked, taking the note and the gift card from her. 

"Does your boyfriend have a brother? Because that note is the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

You shook your head, but you were smiling. "No. No brother. Sorry. Thanks for making my coffee."

As you walked outside you read the note, already feeling calmer at the sight of his hand writing. 

Dear Starbucks Employee,

The beautiful woman who handed you this envelope is my girlfriend. I am desperately in love with her, and I would be there with her if I could, but I'm fucking deployed, if you can believe it. Please make her favorite drink for her, and if you wouldn't mind, please write 'Gorgeous, I love you. I can't wait to come home. Bradley' on the cup? Thank you so much.

He had scrawled your favorite drink to your exact specifications below that, and it even tasted perfect. You spent the ride back to Coronado planning out your upcoming Monday. If Bradley arrived back to Virginia on time, you'd be hearing from him by then. Every fiber of your being was hoping he'd call and tell you to pick him up in San Diego, but if he had to stay in Norfolk, you'd take a day off from work to fly out and see him. You had to. You wouldn't be able to go an extra minute without him now. You wanted to hug him and kiss him and give him a blowjob. You needed to feel his hands on your body and listen to his voice while you ran your fingers along his scars. 

Monday couldn't get here fast enough.

-----------------------------

The only thing Bradley wanted to do right now was get his phone in his fucking hands, but he thought that if he brought it up again, someone would tell him the thing had been mysteriously misplaced. He already asked for it three times. He'd been dropped back in Norfolk by air transport, and after a short debrief with a national security team, he would hopefully be allowed to be on his way.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw. This way."

He was led into a medical facility first where his bruises and strained neck were examined and the findings were documented. When he realized he got caught up in a dog fighting scenario with the other aviators, he had been more angry than anything else. Didn't these people know he had a perfect girlfriend to get back home to? Did they even care? He made it out mostly unscathed and back to the carrier deck safely, if not a little sore. The one thing that made him almost laugh was the fact that Cyclone would undoubtedly see his medical report, and there was a good chance Admiral Walker would hear from him again.

After the medical consultation, he was led into a debriefing room where he really didn't have much to say about the mission. It had been successful, sure, but he wasn't going to be allowed to discuss it with anyone after this, so he just stuck to answering the questions he was asked.

Then finally, he was given his phone and left on his own. Of course it was nearly dead when he turned it on, but it should be good enough to reach you. Talking to you would come as his top priority before figuring out how he was getting home, but that was a close second. His heart pounded in anticipation of hearing your voice after so many weeks.

It was barely six in the morning in San Diego. Maybe you were up and getting ready for work, but maybe you were still sleeping. It didn't matter. He needed you to know he was coming home. He tapped on your photo, pulling up your contact information as the warm sun and cold Virginia air hit his skin at the same time, and he shivered as soon as the phone stopped ringing. Your voice in his ear was his reward. 

"Bradley!"

"Gorgeous," he sighed, suddenly so exhausted, he could barely stand. One word from you, and all he wanted to do was curl up on his couch with his head on your lap and let you take care of everything.

"Bradley!" You shrieked this time, and he smiled.

"Baby, I'm coming home."

"For good?" you asked, voice soft with an edge of concern that he wanted nothing more than to ease away. "Or just long enough to pack some things and head back to Norfolk?"

He hoisted his duffle onto his shoulder and started walking. "I'm coming home for good. Coming home to you."

---------------------------------

He's safe and he's coming home! I'm working on mapping out the remaining chapters of this story, so if there's something you want to read about, hit me up. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 23

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[sturniqlo]

Here To Stay Forever- C.S

summary: when chris starts to turn cold towards his best friend, y/n, she thinks the worst. what happens when she starts to back off and chris is desperate to hangout with her and confesses something?

cw: slight angst, cursing, commitment issues, fluff

an: i've been OBSESSED with bff!chris lately so here's more!! | thank you to @monroesturnns for the idea💋

masterlist

-----------------------------------------------

Chris and Y/n have been best friends now for about four years now. As they spent more and more time together, Chris started to feel different about her. Not in a bad way, never that. Just different.

He started to picture a future with her. An, eternity with her. And it scared him, it really did. He's never felt like this towards anyone. Yeah he's has a few girlfriends here and there but, he never saw a future with them. It scared him that he saw forever with her and they weren't even dating.

Unfortunately, something in his mind told him to turn cold towards her. She doesn't like you back, she never will. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to fall asleep. She needs someone better, you aren't it for her. He groaned, throwing the comforter off of himself and getting up. He goes up to the kitchen and serves him a glass of water, placing it quietly in the sink.

Getting back in bed, his phone buzzes on his nightstand. He picks it up and sees a message from no one other than Y/n. hey chris, sorry if you're sleeping already but are we still on for tomorrow night? They had planned on going to a fancy dinner. Someone they always joked about, dressing to super fancy and join the rich snobby people at a fancy restaurant. They'd been saving a good amount from their paychecks. sure, hopefully you aren't getting any cold feet about it? i was looking at the menu and holy shit is all i have to say. He types back. no cold feet at all, i'll see you tomorrow! goodnight:))

Her messages somehow gave him hope and he was able to sleep.

Over the next two weeks, Y/n has been getting treated differently by Chris. Whenever they hangout, he's quieter than usual and moody. It would hurt her from time to time when he would snap at her for something so simple. Chris never snapped at her.

Even his brothers noticed it. "Chris, why are you being so mean to Y/n?" Matt said once he heard the bathroom door closing signaling Y/n couldn't hear. "No I'm not?" He scoffed, opening the fridge to grab the leftovers from yesterday's dinner their mom had cooked. "Uh, yeah you are." Nick says next to Matt. "She's been telling me how you snap at her all the time. And five minutes ago you literally bumped her shoulder and didn't say sorry. I'd say you are being pretty fucking rude."

"Why the hell is she even texting you?" Chris says, retrieving the plate from the microwave. "If I remember correctly, she's everyone's friend, not just yours. You know what? I thought you had feelings for her." As Chris was about to respond, they all heard the bathroom door opening and he shut his mouth.

The following Friday, Y/n went over their house per Chris' request. It had been about an hour and Chris had spoken no more than ten words to her. She was feeling unwanted. She felt awkward and uncomfortable at the shift in his mood. "I- I think I'm going to head out." She broke the silence. "So soon?" Chris' heart dropped and he shut his phone off. "Yeah, my mom she- uh she needs some help with something." She waved her phone. "Oh, okay. I'll walk you out." She nodded and walked toward his room door.

Chris walked her down to the door and wanted to phone her mom and tell her if Y/n can stay for longer. "I'll see you around." She goes for a full hug but Chris only gives her a side hug. Her heart stung for a second. "Okay." He cleared his throat, shutting the door once she went down the steps.

"Y/n is gone already?" Both Nick and Matt magically appeared in the kitchen, snacking on the chips they had bought the other day. "Yep, I feel like shit though." He groans into Matt's shoulder. "What up, Kid?" Matt pats his back. "You guys were right, I've been such a shit best friend to Y/n."

"We've been telling you." Nick says from the sink. "I thought you had like major feelings for her." Matt looks at him. "That's what I said last time," Nick throws his hands up. "what happened to said feelings?" Nick adds on, he knew how much his brother had feelings for their friend Y/n. "Fine," He pauses before continuing. "I like her, but I cant help but act like such a bitch to her. I'm- I'm scared to tell her." He walks to the fridge to retrieve a can of pepsi.

"Scared of what?!" Nick yells, his eyes widen in disbelief. "Commitment? Rejection? It's all over the place!" He opens the blue can. "Have you seen how she looks at you? Her eyes turn into fucking heart anytime she looks at you. I doubt she'll reject you." Matt nods at Nick's words. "As for your commitment issues, you guys can take it easy, or you guys can be exclusive for sometime. It's up to you two."

The following week, Chris has noticed a change in Y/n's behavior. Something that has never happened. hi, do you want to hangout tonight? Chris waited patiently with his phone in his hands. The three familiar dots popped up before disappearing for a couple of seconds and popped up again. sorry, i can't tonight. Chris sighed. It was the third time this week she had said no to hanging out and it was only tuesday.

oh okay. tomorrow maybe? He replied. maybe He turned off his phone and threw himself back. "What is going on!" He rubs his face.

It was now Friday and they were finally hanging out together. Chris had managed to finally get some of Y/n's time. However, Y/n was home all week. She felt so guilty turning Chris' hangouts down while she was in bed thinking about Chris' cold behavior. She took some time to think and finally decided it was time to come out of hiding.

"Hey, get over here!" Chris said, grabbing Y/n by her waist pulling her towards him. "Oh- are you sure?" She's startled by Chris' sudden touch, something she hasn't felt in over three weeks. "Of course. I missed you this week, you know?" He kisses her cheek. "Sorry, I was uh- busy?" She stutters. "Why're you questioning it?" He giggles against her shoulder. "I wasn't actually busy. I was giving you space."

"Space? From what?" He pulls back. "I just- I thought- you were being so cold to me I thought you wanted some space. Thought you were getting tired of me or- or maybe you were talking to someone. I wasn't sure." She shrugs, playing with a loose thread on her sleeve. Chris grabs her and places her on his lap. "Hey, listen. I have to tell you something." She nodded at him.

"I'm sorry, about my behavior. I just- I- I love you. And, I was to- I was too scared to admit it. N' I thought if I were to I don't know. Mean? Cold? That my feelings were to go away. But I realized that they're never going to leave. They're here to stay forever. I love you, Y/n." At this point, Y/n is in tears. She's waited so long for Chris to admit something like this.

She knows how much his commitment issues have gotten away in the past. "What?" She says through a teary laugh. "I love you, Y/n. I fucking love you." He smiles and grabs her face to kiss her. Chris hesitantly leans his face towards hers and Y/n grabs the back of his head and locks their lips together.

"Mmph." He huffs in relief and grabs her jaw lightly. They finally let go of each other once they're out of breath. "I've been waiting so long to do that." He places one chaste kiss to her lips. "Me too." She moves the hair out of his face, staring at him with a smile. "I take it you feel the same way." He giggles. "Of course I do." She kisses the tip of his nose.

"I love you, Chris."

[bookshelf-dust]

kiss it better

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3,176

warnings: swearing, sick fic (sorta), steve not taking care of himself, anxiety, stress, mental breakdown?, best friends to lovers deal (let me know if i missed something)

a/n: hi! it’s been awhile. i’m sorry about that. this has been a very slow process for me. my mental health is shit, and that’s probably obvious. i hope it hasn’t seeped into this too much, but it probably will with the next few things i write. i apologize for taking so long to post, for disappearing, for not really making this the blog it once was. but i’m not the same person i was then. so we’ll see where this goes. i hope you enjoy this one a little. i love you.

————

The shrill sound of a phone ringing scares you awake, eyes flying open, heart pounding so aggressively you fear for a split second that it might burst. 

You sit up quickly, enough so that you make yourself dizzy trying to get your bearings. You roll onto your side, and reach blindly across the edge of your nightstand, grabbing for the green plastic that’s shaking with the force of which it’s ringing. 

You almost fall out of bed, just managing to catch yourself as you bring the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?”

Your voice comes out weak, thick with sleep and the longing for more rest. It startles you and makes you clear your throat. 

“Hey, it’s me.”

The voice on the other line is even weaker than your own. It’s quiet.

“Steve?”

Your eyes find the alarm clock on your dresser, bright red letters telling you it’s just after one in the morning. You might be half-asleep, but you’re conscious enough that your heart rate picks up, registering that this isn’t when your best friend normally calls. 

You hear him breathe, along with some shuffling. He’s nodding his head, but realizes you can’t see. 

“Yeah. Listen,” he drags a shaking hand down his face. “I’m sorry to call so late.”

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s the matter? Is something wrong?”

He goes quiet for a moment, but you wait patiently for him to continue. He must be trying to get something out, and you don’t want to pressure him, or cause him stress in any way. 

Steve huffs, frustrated with himself. 

“I-I’ve got an insane headache, and we’re out of goddamn medicine. My parents were here, and my mom was hungover and I guess she must’ve emptied us out, but it hurts too bad to drive, and…” He trails off, breathing heavily. 

His pause lends you a moment to process, and you decide to speak up. If his head is killing him, you know finding the energy to speak to you, let alone call, has to be draining. You wouldn’t want him to suffer anymore than he already is. 

“Stevie?” you start, happy to hear a small hum that encourages you to go on. He registers what you’ve called him, something you don’t call him often, and his chest aches. “I’ve got some I can bring you. I think all the drugstores nearby are closed.” 

You swing your legs out from under the covers, pushing yourself off the mattress. Pressing the phone between your cheek and shoulder, you pull on the pair of sweats slung over the end of your bed, trying not to bust your ass as you hop into them. 

“Is anything else hurting you?” you ask, gently as can be. 

“Honestly?” he responds. “I think I’m sick. I can’t be sick, can I?”

You stand upright once again, taking the phone firmly in your hand. 

“I think even King Steve can get sick from time to time. I’ll be there soon, okay?”

————

Steve’s not sure you understand him. He can’t be sick. He’s got shit to do. He has a shift tomorrow, and he’s pretty sure Dustin needs a ride one day this week because Claudia is on a “girls trip.” He has to keep working on his college essay, because he’d told you he was almost done, but really he isn’t. 

Steve doesn’t have the time to be sick. And he can’t have you ruining your own schedule to come and babysit him. He’s supposed to be the babysitter. Not the charge. 

He should be able to take care of himself, but of course, the one time his parents come home they clean out his mediocre supply of medicine. Something he’s always stocked up on, given his tendency to get the shit beat out of him, or the nasty string of tension headaches that just won’t quit. 

And his head is killing him. He has his palms pressed to his temples, trying (and failing) to dull the ache. There aren’t any lights on in the kitchen, where he’s sitting on the floor, back pressed to the cabinets. 

He’s trying not to move too much either, because he’s dizzy. This probably has to do with the fact that he skipped dinner, feeling too nauseous to eat. Now that Steve is hungry, he fears he won’t be able to get up and fix anything. 

Maybe you’ll be able to help, he thinks. But that voice is quick with a counter argument. No. I need to do it. 

He perks up at the sound of the front door opening. “Steve?” you call out, careful not to slam the door or yell too loud. It’s also why you hadn’t rung the doorbell. 

Steve raps his knuckles softly against the countertop, hoping it’ll be enough to clue you in. He can’t bring himself to shout right now. You follow the sound, taking the few steps toward the kitchen. 

When your eyes lock on his figure, see the way the heels of his hands press into his eyes, you realize how young he looks. He almost looks small, legs pulled up to his chest, big, lanky body compacted as much as possible. He looks vulnerable. You’re sure he hates that. 

“Hi, Steve,” you say, keeping your voice low. 

He looks up at you, and his face splits into a sweet grin. He’s happy that you’re here, even if that voice is screaming at him, wanting to punish him for asking for help. 

“Hey, honey.” You smile back at him, and his heart rate picks up. Sometimes he forgets how beautiful you are, and then you’re standing in front of him, snatching every last breath from his lungs. 

You set your bag down beside him and reach out, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He feels a little warm, but not feverishly so. 

You move away from him, grabbing a cup from the drying rack. You fill it up with water and crouch at his side. Steve takes the glass from you, head resting against the cabinet to watch as you grab him some medicine. You hand him a few pills, and he takes them quickly. If he doesn’t get this headache calmed down soon, he thinks he might just die. 

Steve keeps drinking the water you gave him, and you push his hair back again, watching the way it curls around his ears. 

He drinks about half of the water before he pauses, taking a deep breath. He looks at you then. It’s mostly dark in the kitchen, but the lamp on the table by the front door is on, so you’re a little backlit from it. Not to mention the moonlight seeping in from the window above the sink.

You look gorgeous. And you came over to take care of him. You got up, at one in the morning, and drove to his house, just because he asked you to. Hell, he hadn’t even asked. He hadn’t gotten the words out. But you’d known. You’d known exactly what he was trying to ask, and you’d offered your help with no qualms. 

Steve’s nose starts to sting, and that pressure from behind his eyes—it starts to release. Before he knows it, his vision is getting cloudy, and he’s crying. He can’t be crying, can he? 

You carefully remove the glass from his hand and move in between his spread knees. 

“Steve, it’s okay. I’m here, and I’m gonna take top notch care of you.” 

“I know you are,” he says, voice breaking. “But I should be able to do it myself. I always do it myself.” He presses his hands against his face, but you catch his wrists and gently pull them away. 

You hold your arms out, and Steve practically falls into you. He buries his face in your neck. He can feel the warmth of your skin, the cotton of your sleep shirt. You smell like soap, that fancy conditioner you use. 

One of your hands finds the base of his neck, nails scratching gently over his scalp, thumb dragging over the top of his spine. Your other rubs soothingly up and down his back. 

“But the thing is, Stevie, you don’t have to.” 

He’s not a loud crier. But he is sort of panicky, breaths coming quick and short, chest heaving against your own. “I know you’ve always had to do a lot by yourself, but you can ask for help, and you don’t have to punish yourself for it, either.”

You feel him nod against your collarbone. His hands are fisting the back of your shirt. Eventually, he pulls away, but keeps his eyes closed. He tries to keep his head turned from your gaze. 

“Hey. Look at me.”

He does, albeit reluctantly. Steve’s cheeks are flushed, lashes clumped together and lips parted where he tries to suck in a good deep breath. 

You reach up, fingers gently sweeping away the remainder of the tears on his face. He leans into your touch, and you let him. You lean forward and press a sweet kiss to his forehead. You’ve never done that before.

Steve recognizes that you’ve never done it before, even if it’s sort of fuzzy. Sure, he’s kissed the back of your hand and you’ve reciprocated, but he’s usually the one to initiate physical affection. You’re too shy most often, even if you ache to do it. 

Fuck, he wishes he were a little more coherent right now. 

“Can you stand for me? It’s late, and I think you need to rest.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, sure.” Now that he’s thinking about it, getting in bed sounds so nice. 

You stand first, and watch as Steve pushes off the floor, gripping the countertop on the way up to steady himself. 

“Come on. The stairs are gonna be a pain.”

He reaches out for you, and you let him take your arm. He pads out to the staircase, and you watch each precarious step he takes, hoping he won’t get too woozy and trip. 

By the time he finally makes it up there, he’s wrapped both arms around your waist and buried his face between your shoulder blades. You soften beneath his hold. 

You walk slowly towards his bedroom, and he waddles behind you. You push the door open. “M’kay, Steve. Wanna change clothes and hop into bed?” 

He pulls off of you and grabs hold of his dresser. “I’m not givin’ you a free show.”

You snort. “I’ll go get some more water and be right back.”

His grin fades. “Please be fast.” He doesn’t want you to go. He doesn’t want you to leave him. 

“Steve, I’m practically The Flash.”

He laughs, pulling a pair of sweats and a t-shirt out of the drawer. Usually he’d sleep in less, but with you here he feels he should keep his modesty.

When you return, he takes the water from you, drinking it faster than he probably should. Steve feels like he’s had the shit beat out of him, and for once—he hasn’t. 

You’d sat down on the edge of the bed, not noticing the way he’s staring at you. You look up when he sets the glass down. He drags both hands down his face. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

He exhales. “I want you to stay here with me, but I don’t want you to get sick. The idea of you being on the couch, which is like, miles away, is driving me insane.”

“Steve?”

“Huh?”

“Can’t I just sleep on the futon?”

His eyes move towards the other side of his room where said piece of furniture is pressed against the wall. He’d bought it when group sleepovers became a thing after all they’d dealt with. Jesus, his brain really isn’t working. 

“Oh. Yeah, honey. Just don’t want you to go far.” 

You lean forward and push his hair back from his forehead. You’ll need to remember to take his temperature come morning.

“I’m not going anywhere, Steve. I promise. Not until you’re all better.”

————

When Steve wakes up, you’re not there. He starts to panic, thinking maybe he’d been too much, maybe he’d shown you a side of himself he shouldn’t have, that maybe you left. 

But you return to his room just as he’s about to start looking for you. There’s a thermometer in your hand. 

“Morning, sleepy boy. Are you coherent enough for me to check your temperature? Or no?”

He yanks the covers off of himself, and his shirt has ridden up. You catch a sliver of tummy before he sits up fully, and you miss it the second it’s gone. 

“Hit me, I can take it.”

You roll your eyes but stick the thermometer under his tongue when he opens his mouth. When you pull it away, you’re happy to see he hasn’t got a fever. He was warm last night when you kissed his forehead, but you’re thinking it was from stress or just overheating. 

“No fever. What’s buggin’ you today, Stevie?”

He flops onto his back, and his shirt rides up again. You mentally slap yourself for being so enamored by it. All your brain can compute is tummy. Steve’s tummy. “My head still, and my stomach. I feel like I haven’t slept in four years.”

His words snap you out of your reverie. “Four years? That’s incredible. When’s the last time you ate something?”

Steve stares at you for a moment, though it looks as if there isn’t a single thought behind his eyes. “Yesterday…morning. I think. Yeah, I had a banana.”

You stare back, rather appalled at his statement. “Steve.”

“Hm?”

“All you’ve had to eat in the past twenty four hours is a banana?”

“Yep.”

“Jesus christ. Get your ass up and come with me.”

Steve doesn’t move. Rather he watches you move, right out the door and towards the top of the stairs. You pause and turn around, crossing your arms. 

He huffs. And then he slides down the side of the bed like a child before crawling up and following you to the kitchen. 

Over the course of the next few hours, you manage to get Steve to eat, shower, and go for a short walk, weather permitting and all. He’s looking astronomically better than he did last night. 

Steve sits opposite you on the couch, his socked feet in your lap. “What do you think my deal is?”

You rub your hand over his calf. “I think you just had a little bug. Or maybe you let yourself get too stressed out and your body couldn’t take it.”

He blinks. “Is that…that's not a thing? Is it?”

“When’s the last time you gave yourself a fuckin’ break, Steve? When you just took a day for yourself rather than worrying about who needs to go where, or if you’ll have to cover a shift? You have to take care of yourself, or this is the kind of shit that happens.”

“Being overwhelmed about your parents, not eating, worrying about that application, all of that is fucking with you. That headache was probably a stress headache. They’re killer. I want you to be healthy and comfortable, Steve.”

You exhale, and close your eyes. When you open them, Steve has sat up, scooting towards you on your end of the couch. 

He might still be tired, but he can’t believe this. He can’t believe you. No one has ever worried for him in this way. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask. 

He barely even registers your words, too busy memorizing every line on your face. You look so fucking beautiful. It almost makes him angry. 

“I’m thinkin’ about how bad I want to kiss you.”

Your face starts to burn. You shove his shoulder. He looks at the place where you’d pushed, quirking a brow, but grinning nonetheless.

“What?”

“Steve, you can’t say shit like that.”

“How come?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“Best friends.”

“Well yeah, but best friends don’t say that to one another.”

His grin widens. He looks more awake than he has this entire time. 

“Oh, but you haven’t said it.”

You blink. “Huh?”

Steve gets his voice up that little bit higher, doing a cheap imitation of you. “‘Best friends don’t say that to one another.’ Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but that implies you want a kiss too, doesn’t it?”

You drag your hands down your face and flop back against the arm of the couch. 

“So you gonna say it, or what?” He’s shifted, and you can feel him hovering over you, but you refuse to move your hands. 

“Of course I’m thinking about kissing you, Steve.” You suck in a breath and open your eyes, locking with his own. “But you’ve got cooties.”

Steve rolls his eyes before he backs up and yanks on your ankle so that you’re flat against the couch. 

“You did not just lecture me about self-care just to tell me I have cooties. I didn’t even have a fever.” 

“I didn’t even have a fever,” you mock, lowering your voice in what is quite possibly the worst impression of him you could do.

He’s quick about it. Almost stealthy, not that you’d ever boost his ego by telling him so. But his fingers are reaching for your sides, the tips dancing over your shirt, that tiny sliver of hip showing where it’s ridden up. 

Steve is practically drunk off of your laugh. It’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard, and when he goes for your neck, when you tilt your head and trap his fingers between your cheek and shoulder, he thinks he could die. 

You and your laugh. The fact that you drove over at one in the fucking morning, without even thinking about it, just because you care. That you stayed the night, listened to his pitiful thoughts, took care of him…it’s too much. 

Never in his life did he think he’d find someone like you. Someone who makes him feel like he matters. You’d made him realize how smart he is, how capable. That he could do things for himself and not just to please his dickhead father. 

You have made him whole. 

He lets up when you start breathing extra heavily, only to tickle the underside of your foot before he quits, just to piss you off. You kick him in the side. 

“I think a kiss from my very favorite person might be the best form of self-care there is, honey.”

You sit up. “Wow. King Steve really never died.” He raises his hands like he might tickle you again, but you catch them before he can do any damage. “Okay, sorry!” 

Before he can register it, you’ve leaned in and pressed your lips to his. When he does realize, he lets out a surprised hum, and you can feel that smartass smirk forming on his face. 

When you pull away, he whines. 

“All better?”

Steve falls back against the couch, pulling you with him just to get that laugh out of you again. 

“I’m healed.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[be4chywritez]

Afterglow | oscar piastri

oscar piastri x roommate!reader

you have a big fat crush on your roommate

request: heyyy, can u do oscar or lando or max w 28 and 36?

prompts: “accidentally” locking other out. (they’re roommates.), and "Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that."

beachy’s masterlist🐚

prompt list🐚

If you had told your thirteen-year-old self that your best friend’s really cute brother would one day be your roommate, she would have absolutely lost it.

But life works in mysterious ways. Oscar had always been a point of interest in your life—not just because you were next-door neighbors, but because you’d been close with his sisters. You were a year older than Hattie, and the two of you got along splendidly.

As university discussions became more frequent, you decided to take a leap, applying to the International University of Monaco. To your surprise, you got in. At seventeen, you packed your bags, said goodbye to the only home you’d ever known, and headed for a new life by the Mediterranean.

Leaving meant parting with your friends, your family, the Piastris—your second family—and the boy you’d secretly been in love with since you were thirteen.

Fast forward to 2023. You’re twenty-two, settled into an amazing job, and living comfortably in your lavish Monaco apartment. Your connection to home hasn’t faded—you still have regular calls with your parents and close friends.

During one of your weekly catch-ups, Hattie mentions that Oscar’s made it to Formula 1. You couldn’t be prouder. You remember her talking endlessly about his journey through F3, and you have no doubt that now, with him in F1, she won’t stop anytime soon.

After hanging up, you return to sketching prototypes for work, the details pulling you back in. So much so, you nearly miss the chime of your phone—nearly.

Glancing down, your heart skips a beat. It’s Oscar.

Hey, can I call you for a sec?

You hesitate for just a moment before typing back a quick Sure and setting your sketchbook aside.

Seconds later, your phone rings, and when you answer, the familiar sound of his voice sends a ripple of nervous energy through you. “Hey, long time no talk,” Oscar greets, his tone easygoing as always.

You clear your throat, trying to sound normal. “Yeah, it’s been a while. How’s everything going with you?”

“Busy, as usual,” he chuckles softly, and you find yourself fidgeting, your fingers lightly tapping against the sketchbook in your lap. His voice has always done this to you—made it hard to focus, made it hard to breathe, if you were being honest.

“Yeah, I can imagine,” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. You’d known him for years, but now, with him on the line, your thoughts scatter. There’s a beat of silence before you speak again. “Hattie told me you got into Formula 1. That’s amazing, Oscar.”

“Thanks,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “It’s been pretty surreal.”

There’s another pause, a moment where you think the small talk is winding down, and you brace yourself for the inevitable goodbye. But instead, Oscar clears his throat. “Actually… I wanted to ask you something.”

You shift in your seat, nerves buzzing under your skin. “Sure, what’s up?”

“So, I’m moving to Monaco soon,” he starts, and the mention of Monaco—your Monaco—makes your heart skip again. “I was wondering… Would it be okay if I stayed with you for a bit? Just until I find a place of my own?”

Your breath catches, and you sit up straighter. Rooming with Oscar? The idea alone sends a jolt of panic and excitement through you. You’re quiet for a moment too long, and Oscar’s voice cuts through the silence.

“If it’s too much trouble, no worries. I can figure something else out.”

“No, no!” you rush out, maybe a little too quickly. “It’s fine, I mean—yeah, you can stay with me. It’s no trouble at all.”

The words leave your mouth before you can fully process what you’re agreeing to. The thought of sharing your space with him, being around him constantly, sends your mind spinning. But you can’t bring yourself to say no. Not to Oscar.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he says, his voice light again, like the weight of the request is off his shoulders. “It’ll just be for a little while.

“Yeah, no worries,” you repeat, though inside, you’re anything but calm.

You hang up a few minutes later after more polite exchanges, but as you set your phone down, the reality of what you just agreed to hits you like a wave. Oscar Piastri, the boy you’d been in love with since you were a teenager, was going to be living with you.

And there’s no way you’re going to survive this unscathed.

That was a year ago.

Oscar hasn’t left as he promised. Not that you’re complaining—you like having his company, and you’d say he enjoys yours as well. But you weren’t going to lie: your crush on Oscar hadn’t faded. If anything, it had grown, expanding until it was something you could no longer ignore.

You’d gotten better at hiding it, of course. But there were moments—little, fleeting moments—when you’d catch yourself staring at him too long or feeling a spark when his hand brushed yours. And those moments? They were dangerous.

Living with him had brought its own routines, little traditions that had become your favorite parts of the week. Like Tuesday movie nights. It had started casually—something to fill the time—but now it was your unspoken ritual. The only complication was when Oscar was away for races, but even then, he’d FaceTime you, watching the movie along with you through the screen.

Tuesday movie nights had become a guilty pleasure, though you’d never admit it. You told yourself it was just because of the routine, but deep down, you knew it was because of him. The way he would sit close enough for your arms to touch, the way his laugh made your chest tighten. It was torture, and yet, you craved it every time.

And then there was the way he looked at you—so casual, so unbothered. He had no idea, did he? No idea how your heart raced every time he smiled at you or how the sound of his voice made you forget everything else.

You often wondered if Oscar noticed—if he could feel the tension simmering between you, or if he was just blissfully unaware. Sometimes, you thought you caught him looking at you a little too long, or that his teasing smile held something more. But you never let yourself hope too much. Not when he seemed so completely, utterly unaware of the effect he had on you.

And so, you kept pretending. Pretending that your feelings were buried, that living with Oscar was perfectly normal. But every day, it became harder to ignore the truth: you were still in love with him, and no amount of time or distance could change that.

It was another Tuesday night. Oscar got home earlier than usual, greeting you with a tired smile that made your heart do an inconvenient little flip. You felt oddly underdressed as he looked at you, even though you were in the comfort of your own apartment—cozy sweats and a tank top, nothing out of the ordinary. But something about the way his eyes lingered made your skin feel too warm.

You tried to shake it off, busying yourself by pulling out snacks from the cupboard for movie night. The crinkle of the chip bags was enough of a distraction—until Oscar walked back into the kitchen, out of his workout clothes and now wearing jeans and a simple white t-shirt.

You raised an eyebrow. Jeans? For movie night?

“So, I know it’s movie night,” he began, leaning against the counter, his hands gripping the granite. You watched the way his fingers flexed on the stone, trying not to think too much about how good he looked—like you hadn’t seen him in casual clothes a hundred times before.

“Yeah?” you prompted, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, you glanced up to find him already staring at you. His gaze was soft, but it sent a nervous flutter through your chest.

He rubbed the back of his neck, ruffling his hair. “Meredith from PR asked if I wanted to go for drinks.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, but you forced your face to stay neutral. You knew you shouldn’t feel this way—shouldn’t feel the sudden green wave of jealousy swirling in your stomach—but there it was.

“Oh,” you managed, shrugging like it didn’t matter. “Yeah, I get it. We don’t have to do movie night.”

Oscar’s lips curved into a small pout, and you had to look away because, God, that look was going to be the death of you. “I know you want to do movie night,” he muttered, almost as if he didn’t want to disappoint you.

You kept your eyes on the snack bags, pretending they were the most fascinating thing in the world. “It’s fine,” you said, though your voice was quieter than you intended. “You should go. It’s no big deal.”

There was a brief silence, one that stretched just a little too long for your liking. “Can we do movie night when I get back?” Oscar asked, and the hopeful tone in his voice made it impossible for you to say no.

You hesitated for just a second, your heart already betraying you. “Yeah, sure. What time will you be back?”

“Ten,” he said, and you nodded, already telling yourself that it was fine. You’d fill the time with work. That project needed attention, anyway.

Oscar smiled again, this time a little more relaxed, as grabbed his car keys and wallet. “I’ll see you later, then,” he said, heading for the door.

You forced yourself to smile back. “Yeah, see you later.”

As the door closed behind him, the apartment suddenly felt too quiet. You stood there for a moment, staring at the empty space where he’d been, and tried to push down the uncomfortable knot of jealousy twisting in your stomach. You shouldn’t care this much. He was just your roommate. Just Oscar.

But the pang in your chest told you otherwise.

You tried to shake off the unease, focusing on your project instead. Time passed in a blur of work until you wrapped things up around 9:30. Twenty minutes to spare.

You leaned back, glancing at the clock and then at your reflection in the nearby window. Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself reaching for your makeup bag. Just a little—subtle mascara, a swipe of lip gloss. You told yourself it was because you were bored. But deep down, you knew the truth: you wanted Oscar to see you.

A glance at the clock.

9:48.

You padded into the kitchen, rummaging through the snack cupboard once again. You pulled out some of Oscar’s favorites—chips, biscuits, a pack of his beloved Tim Tams. You reached to the back of the cupboard, fingers grazing the last pack of Tim Tams, and popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

The machine hummed as the kernels popped, the comforting sound filling the silence. You found yourself glancing at the clock again.

9:59.

The popcorn was done. You set it on the counter to cool slightly, and grabbed a few blankets from the couch, arranging them neatly. Tonight was your turn to pick the movie, and you had already decided on La La Land. A few sparkling waters from your last grocery run sat ready on the table.

And then you waited.

You sat on the couch, scrolling through Instagram to pass the time. The soft glow of your phone lit up your face, but the anticipation thrummed beneath your skin, distracting you.

10:15.

Your popcorn was cold.

10:25.

Condensation from the sparkling waters was beginning to leave small rings on the coffee table, pooling at the base of the cans.

10:30.

You sighed, the weight of disappointment settling over you. The TV screen remained frozen on the movie selection screen, your remote still in hand. With a frustrated click, you powered it off and got to your feet. Slowly, you folded the throw blankets, placing them back where they belonged. The cold popcorn went straight into the trash.

Sitting back down on the couch, you stared at the wall for a long moment, a heavy feeling growing in your chest. Why were you waiting for him? Why did it hurt so much?

In a snap decision, you stood up and walked to the front door. You pulled it open, crouching down to check beneath the mat for the spare key. Your fingers closed around it, and you slipped it into your pocket.

Oscar never bothered to take his apartment keys when you were home, always joking about how you had “Oscar tingles”—how you’d somehow know exactly when he was coming home and be ready to open the door. It wasn’t tingles at all, though. You just… waited for him.

Except tonight, you weren’t going to wait anymore.

After locking Oscar out, you settle on the couch, arms crossed tightly, trying to ignore the guilt creeping in. Sure, locking him out might have been petty, but he deserved a little consequence for coming home late. Still, your phone buzzes again—his name flashing on the screen.

“You locked me out.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, debating whether to reply. After a beat, you type:

“Oops. Thought you had your keys.”

“I didn’t take them because you’re always here.”

You hesitate, knowing you can’t leave him out there forever. Letting out a sigh, you slowly rise, dragging your feet toward the door. When you open it, Oscar is standing there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, looking at you with that familiar easy smile.

He doesn’t seem irritated at all. In fact, he’s grinning like this whole thing is some kind of joke.

“Took you long enough,” he says, stepping past you with a shrug. “I was starting to think you’d make me sleep in the hall.”

You force a smirk, stepping aside. “Maybe you would’ve learned something out there.”

As he walks by, you notice his shirt—rumpled, his collar slightly crooked. Then, you see it: a faint smudge of lipstick near the edge of his neck. Your stomach drops, but you swallow down the sting, forcing yourself to play it cool.

Oscar heads for the couch, oblivious as always, and stretches out comfortably. You stay near the doorway, arms crossed, your gaze flicking over him as you try to keep your voice light.

“Rough night, huh?” you ask, eyes lingering on his collar and the mark on his neck.

Oscar frowns a little, looking down at his shirt before brushing at the smudge casually. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t paying attention. Meredith’s friends get a little… enthusiastic when they’re drinking.” He chuckles, seemingly unaware of the effect his words have on you.

You force a smile, your voice sharper than you mean. “Clearly.” You gesture vaguely at his collar. “Looks like someone really went for it.”

He glances down again, this time actually noticing the mess of his collar, and shrugs. “Didn’t think you’d care about my wardrobe choices.”

You laugh, though it’s hollow. “Oh, I don’t. Just thought you might want to… tidy up a bit. Wouldn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea.”

Oscar, still completely relaxed, glances over at you, confused but not concerned. “What wrong idea?”

You stare at him for a moment, caught between wanting to scream and laugh at his complete obliviousness. Instead, you force out a sarcastic reply.

“Nothing,” you mutter, your voice dripping with bitterness. “Just looking out for your reputation.”

Oscar, unaware of the storm inside you, smiles softly and turns his attention back to the couch. “Right. So, still up for that movie? I did say we’d watch it.”

You swallow down the surge of frustration, nodding even though your chest feels tight. “Sure. Why not?”

You head to the kitchen, not to grab the snacks you’d laid out earlier—those were already thrown out when the disappointment set in—but to busy yourself with something, anything, to avoid looking at him. Your chest feels tight, and your head is spinning.

You settle back on the couch with Oscar, and though you’ve tried to compose yourself, the weight of everything unsaid presses down hard. He’s right there—so close—but he might as well be a million miles away.

The movie starts, but you can’t focus. Your eyes flick to the screen, but your mind races. Oscar is relaxed beside you, oblivious, a faint smile on his face as he settles into the film. Meanwhile, the tension inside you is almost unbearable.

And somehow, despite everything, he remains blissfully unaware.

You’re about halfway through La La Land when you suddenly feel Oscar’s arm settle around your shoulders. His fingers brush against your skin, and for a second, it feels like everything stops. The warmth of his touch sends a jolt of electricity through you, and your heart skips a beat.

Without thinking, you shrug it off. “I, uh… I think I want some crisps.” The words tumble out of your mouth, and before he can react, you practically leap off the couch, heading straight for the kitchen like your life depends on it.

You tell yourself you’re just hungry, but your racing heart and flushed cheeks betray the truth. Your hands tremble as you fumble with the cupboard door, staring blankly at the shelves.

Suddenly, you sense him behind you. He’s so close you can feel the warmth radiating off him.

“You okay?” Oscar’s voice is calm, but there’s a hint of concern in it.

You nod, even though your heart is hammering in your chest. “Y-Yeah, totally fine. Just, you know… snack cravings.” You don’t dare turn around, because you know if you look at him, you’ll probably combust.

Oscar steps even closer, his breath now ghosting over your shoulder. “You sure?” he asks, his tone soft, as if he can sense something’s off.

And that’s when it happens. You can’t hold it in anymore. The dam breaks, and the words spill out, fast and frantic.

“No! No, I’m not okay! Because I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen, okay? And it’s driving me absolutely insane because you are so damn clueless and oblivious, and I thought maybe after you moved in, my feelings would just—poof—disappear, but they didn’t! They got worse! And then you come home late with lipstick on your neck, and your stupid rumpled shirt, and I try to pretend like I don’t care, but I do, Oscar! I really do! And you just keep acting like we’re—like we’re buddies, and I can’t—”

You stop, panting slightly from the rapid-fire confession, and that’s when you notice it.

Oscar is smiling.

Not just smiling—grinning. A huge, cheeky grin spreads across his face, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Your face flushes even hotter, and you glare at him. “Quit smiling at me! I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”

Oscar’s grin softens, but he doesn’t stop smiling. Instead, he takes a step closer, closing the gap between you. “You’re cute when you’re flustered, you know that?” he murmurs.

You open your mouth to respond, but the words die on your tongue as he suddenly pulls you in, pressing his lips against yours. It’s not the gentle, tentative kiss you might have imagined. No, this is full-on, heart-stopping, world-tilting, toe-curling. His hand slides to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer, and for a moment, you completely melt into it, into him.

But then, reality crashes back down. You shove him back, eyes wide as you remember the smudges of lipstick, the crumpled collar, the late night out.

“What about—what about the girls from the bar?” you stammer, stepping back, heart still racing from the kiss.

Oscar blinks, and then understanding dawns. “The lipstick?” He reaches up, brushing a finger over the spot you’d noticed earlier, and then laughs softly. “It was Meredith’s friend. She tripped, spilled her drink, and kind of… crashed into me. PR disaster, but nothing else.” He shrugs, completely calm as always. “I didn’t mention it earlier because, well, I didn’t think it mattered. Guess I should’ve explained, huh?”

You stare at him, still processing what he’s just said. The knot in your stomach starts to loosen, but your heart is still racing for entirely different reasons now.

Oscar steps closer again, his smile softer but unwavering. “You’re the one I want to be with. Not some random girl from a bar. Just you.” His voice is quiet, but there’s no hesitation in it. He looks at you like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You feel your breath catch, the weight of everything you’ve been holding in for so long starting to lift. But instead of saying anything, you just stand there, staring at him, your mind a mess of emotions. His hand gently finds yours, and even that small touch sends another spark of warmth through you.

For once, Oscar isn’t oblivious. He can see the worry in your eyes, hope and doubt swirling in your mind. “Hey,” he murmurs, squeezing your hand gently, pulling you out of your head. “It’s always been you. I thought you knew that.”

You blink at him, still trying to believe it’s real. But the way he’s looking at you, so calm and sure… it’s hard not to believe him.

And maybe, just maybe, this isn’t as complicated as you’d made it out to be.

[dilfl0v3rss]

Can we get a Drug dealer!Ony smut with a introverted, social anxiety, nail tech reader? Cause babbyyyy your Ony smut got me in my feels 😩

somethings wrong wit my brain rn idk why, but here bae💋❤️❤️

“you did good mama m’prouda you” ony groaned as he looked down at where the two of you were connected between your legs. his hands laying flat next to your head as he stroked you with every inch of his dick. “t-thank you” your whiny voice made a smirk appear on his face, his inked hand sneaking to your throat before squeezing it as he spoke. “thank you what?” his hips moved a little quicker, forcing more pretty sounds from you as your back arched off the couch. “tha-…thank you daddy” you were laid flat on the little couch in the salon he gifted you, ony’s hand pushing lightly on your stomach and his other was wrapped tightly around your throat as he fed you beautifully deep strokes. “good girl mama. always call daddy when you start feeling overwhelmed ‘kay” you quickly nodded your head, giving him a drawn out “mhmm” as you felt your arousal begin to drip from you onto the cushion.

every time you were having a rough day and your anxiety was getting the best of you, you were instructed to always call your boyfriend. ony didn’t care if he was in the middle of a drop, if you needed him he was going to drop everything and get to you. you always decided against taking him up on his offer, never wanting to seem like a bother, but you had no choice today. you were finishing up on a clients full set when you seen her friend, who was supposed to waiting outside, come in and start commenting on her friends nails. “damn girl you taking hella long” she mumbled taking your clients hand as you worked in the other one.

on your website it clearly states that only the person who set the appointment is allowed to be inside, with the exception of kids and people with disabilities. this girl clearly didn’t read it because instead of shooing her friend away, she proceeded to have a full blown conversation with her in front if you, making you extremely uncomfortable. the mumbling back and forth between the two women had your heart beating rapidly. feelings of unease and distress began to creep up on you and before you knew it, your hands had a slight shake to them. “s’cuse me” you mumbled before heading straight for the quiet room ony set up for you when you needed some time to cool down or when you are waiting on a client to arrive.

as soon as you closed the door, you locked it and made your way to the comfy couch by the wall to calm yourself down. like the day couldn’t get any worse, you heard a slight knock on the door. “uhh we kinda got somewhere t’be so can you hurry up so i can pay you” the girl said. her slightly irritated voice followed by the mumbles and giggles to her friend behind the door made you do something you had no intention of doing until now.

“wassup baby, you aight?” ony mumbled, the sound of a distant “good looks” from a man in the background as well as the clanking of his gear shift beginning to move telling you everything you needed to know, he was working. you took a shaky breath, trying to gather yourself before telling him what was going on. ony didn’t need to hear anything else, the sound of your breathing telling him everything he needed to know as he turned his car around and headed towards your location. “m’commin mama” was all he said before putting phone on speaker and placing it in his cup holder. he stayed on the phone with you the whole ride, letting his presence soothe you.

before you knew it he was there. “what can i help you wit?” he asked the girls, nodding as they told him what they needed. you were finished with the girls set and all you needed were a couple pictures for your website, but that was at the back of you and ony’s mind. he quickly rang her up her before kindly leading them out and locking the door. he changed the sign from open to closed. “s’jus me now mama” he mumbled, before listening to you get up and unlock the door. the sight of your watery eyes made his heart break as he lightly pulled your head into his chest. your arms wrapped around him immediately as he let his other hand rub all over your back. “i gotchu baby”

the sound of his heartbeat made yours instinctively slow to match his. your shaky breaths being replaced with one’s full of relaxation as you lifted your head to get a look at your man. ony gave you a smirk, making you instantly roll your eyes before letting him go and walk towards the couch to sit back down. “don’t act all hard now, you know you want me here” he walked towards you, sitting down on the couch with his legs spread. “come sit, you still a little tense and i got just the thing to loosen you up” a devilish smirk graced ony’s features as he lightly patted his thigh.

before long you were laid on your back, taking stroke after deep stroke from the man of your dreams. his hips rocking into your thighs as he worked his hands all around your body. “how it feel mama, you loose yet?” he groaned, the far away look in your eyes telling him everything he needed to know as you mindlessly nodded along to his words. ony chuckled as he brought his thumb to your clit. “this gon bring you back” he said, and it did. a loud moan flew from your lips as you felt the extra stimulation on your clit, his thumb continuing to rub in circles as he let spit fall from his mouth to your pussy. the liquid rolling down from where his thumb was all the way down to where you were joined together. the sight of the action made your pussy flutter as you cried out for him. “papaaaa i f-feel better….s’too muchhh” you whined, your much smaller hands pushing and pulling at his tattooed arm as ony kept on torturing your clit. “i know mama, but daddy had a rough day too. i helped you s’now it’s your turn t’help me”

safe to assume you had to reschedule the rest of your appointments for the day.

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Falling for the act

Hii I hope you enjoy this fake dating one-shot about Carlos :)

You and Carlos have been dating for five months, or that's what the world thinks. In reality, you've been acting as his girlfriend at the request of his manager. When Carlos's manager approached you with the proposal, you were uncertain. However, he convinced you with the promise of luxury trips, travelling around the world, and a generous paycheck.

Tonight, you have a gala for Ferrari investors. It's not the first time you've accompanied him to an event like this, and it surely won't be the last. You decide to make the best of your situation and get ready. As you do your makeup, you can't help but think about your relationship with Carlos. He has been nothing but kind, always trying to make you as comfortable as possible. A smile appears on your face as you reflect on how you've grown from strangers to friends. It should stay as a friendship, you remind yourself, even if it's hard when he treats you so nicely and his heavenly looks don't help the inevitable feelings from growing.

"Are you ready?" Carlos asks as he knocks on the bathroom door, waiting for permission to come in.

"Almost ready," you say, your breath catching in your throat as he enters. It should be illegal to look that good in a suit, you think.

"Wow, Y/N, you look amazing. I'm lucky that you are my date for tonight, or I would be jealous of others seeing how you look in that red dress," Carlos jokes.

Blush covers your face, and it's not from your makeup. "Thanks," you answer, unsure of what else to say to his compliment.

As you arrive at the gala, flashes blind you as you cling to Carlos's arm for support, remembering why you are really there. The luxury of the gala still amazes you as you walk in and greet the other guests. The night moves on quickly, but between the music and the conversations, you start feeling anxious.

"I'm going outside. I'll be back soon," you tell Carlos, seeking the fresh night air to calm your nerves. But your peace is short-lived as a man approaches you.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?" he says, his breath reeking of alcohol as he nears you.

"I'm not alone, and I would appreciate it if you left me alone. Thanks," you try to reason with him, but it doesn't seem to work.

"Come on, we could have a great time," he says, aggressively taking your arm.

"She told you to leave her alone," Carlos's voice surprises both of you.

"Dude, she was asking for it," the man tries to argue with Carlos. "She's a slut," but he doesn't have time to finish the sentence as Carlos punches him.

"Ah, you broke my nose, asshole!"

"I told you to leave my girlfriend alone. You should leave, or a broken nose will be the least of your problems."

Carlos's arms tighten around you as he speaks, his voice filled with concern. "Are you okay? Do you want to call the police?"

You take a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself as you look up at him. "I'm okay… just a little shaken up. Thank you, Carlos. I don't know what I would've done if you weren't here."

Carlos's eyes soften, a mix of relief and worry etched across his face. "You don't have to thank me. I was just so scared for you. I can't imagine losing you."

You feel warmth spread through you at his words, the sincerity in his voice making your heart race. "Carlos, I… I don't know what to say."

He gently cups your face in his hands, his thumb brushing away a tear you hadn't realized had fallen. "You don't have to say anything. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise," you whisper, leaning into his touch.

Carlos hesitates for a moment, his eyes searching yours as if looking for something. Then, with a tenderness that makes your heart ache, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. "Let's get you home."

You nod, grateful for his presence. As you drive back to your apartment, Carlos keeps a protective hand on you, his closeness a comforting reminder that you aren't alone.

Inside, he makes sure you are settled on the couch before sitting next to you. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" he asks gently.

You shake your head, still feeling the residual fear from the attack. "Not right now. I just… I just need you here."

"I'm not going anywhere," Carlos assures you, his hand finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You look down at your intertwined hands, a small smile tugging at your lips despite everything. "You know, for fake dating, this feels pretty real."

Carlos chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and something deeper. "Maybe it's because… it is real. At least for me."

Your breath catches in your throat at his confession, your heart pounding loudly in your chest. "Carlos…"

"I know this might not be the best time, but I've been wanting to tell you for a while now," he continues, his voice earnest. "I have feelings for you. Real feelings. And seeing you in danger tonight made me realize just how much you mean to me."

You feel tears welling up again, but this time they are tears of a different kind. "I… I have feelings for you too, Carlos. I was just too scared to admit it."

He smiles, relief and joy evident in his expression. "Then we're on the same page."

You nod, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. "Yeah, we are."

Carlos pulls you into another embrace, this one filled with the promise of something new and beautiful. "We'll get through this together," he murmurs into your hair. "I promise."

In that moment, wrapped in his arms, everything feels right. The lines between pretense and reality blur, leaving you with a sense of anticipation for the future. With Carlos by your side, you know that whatever comes next, you'll face it together.

[acewritesfics]

No More Hiding | Jay Halstead

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request: From Anon

Warnings: secret relationship, friends to lovers.

Word Count: 1,572

Jay Halstead Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Hey nurse, I was hoping you could help me out a little,” Jay’s voice catches Y/N’s attention as she goes over her schedule for the next two weeks. She had managed to get this weekend off but had to fill in for a couple shifts next week.   

“What seems to be the problem, Detective Halstead?” she smiles looking up at him.   

“Can we go somewhere a little more private?” he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.  

Y/N checks the time and nods, “I’m still on my lunch break but I suppose I can help you with your problem, whatever it might be.”   

“Thank you,” he sighs in relief.  

Y/N leads him up and hall and into one of the rooms currently not being occupied. As soon as the door closes, Jay locks it and moves closer to Y/N, his arms going around her waist pulling her against him.   

“Is everything okay?” she asks him, concern flashing in her eyes.   

“Everything is perfect,” he tells her and places a soft kiss to her lips. “I just wanted to see you.”  

“You’ll be seeing me in-” she pauses to check her watch. “6 hours, when you pick me up for our weekend getaway.”  

“Is it actually classed as a getaway if we’re still going to be in Chicago?” he asks.   

The two of them had planned this weekend getaway to celebrate their first Valentine’s Day together. It was unfortunate that Valentine’s Day this year lands on a Tuesday and they are both working that day. Instead, they decided to make a weekend of it the weekend before the day dedicated to love.   

“We are getting away from our lives for two days. No work, no people who we love dearly, no responsibilities. It’s a getaway, babe,” she smiles as she tip-toes to peck his lips.   

“We need to talk later,” he tells her, earning a nervous look from her.  

“Oh, okay,” she nods, gulping down the lump that is forming in her throat. For her, nothing good ever came from someone who says ‘we need to talk’. The last person who spoke those words to her told her he was breaking up with her.   

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” he assures her just as his phone starts to ring. Checking it he sighs, “It’s work.”   

“You better answer it then,” she tells him and kisses him again. “I’ll see you tonight.”  

He nods and kisses her once more before unlocking the door and leaving the room as he answers his phone.  

Trying to put the ‘we need to talk’ thing to the back of her mind, she leaves the room only to bump into Will who notices right away that she has something on her mind.   

“Are you okay?”   

“Yeah, I’m good,” she smiles.   

“Did Jay come and talk to you?” he asks, looking at her suspiciously.  

“No, why would he do that?” she questions him a little too abruptly.   

“Okay, whatever is going on between you two, you don’t have to hide it,” Will tells her, letting on that he knows about them. “You’re my best friend and he’s my brother. If anyone knows you two the best, it’s me.”  

“Okay, know-it-all,” she scoffs. “Don’t tell Jay that you know.”  

“He already knows that I know,” he admits. “Who do you think encouraged him to make a move on you?”   

“You Halstead’s are full of surprises today,” she says looking at him stunned. “I’ve got to get back to work.”   

“I’ll see you Monday, if not before then,” Will calls out to her as she heads back to the children’s ward.  

-

“Why didn’t you tell me Will knows about us?” Y/N asks her ‘secret’ boyfriend. She’s sitting on the couch, in one of Jay’s shirts, a glass of red wine in her hand as Jay prepares them something to eat in the kitchen. The fire’s been going for a few hours now, making the cabin nice and warm.   

When they arrived, Jay had surprised her with the fire already lit, rose petals making a trail to the bedroom where a bucket with wine, chocolates and flowers sat on the bed. The spent a good 2 to 3 hours in the bedroom before their stomachs began to rumble, both having not eaten since their lunch breaks.  

“We agreed to keep this between us until we figured it out,” he says. “And that was five months ago. That’s why I said we need to talk.”  

“Because it’s been five months and we’re still sneaking around?” she asks making sure that’s what he was getting at.  

He nods, popping a piece chicken breasts into his mouth as he sliced it up to put on the pizza. “I was thinking that maybe we shouldn’t hide it anymore and that I want everyone to know I’m crazy in love with you.”  

“You love me?” she asks, her eyes widening a little. Standing up, she walks over to the small kitchen area and places her glass on the counter as she moves next to him.  

He drops the knife in his hand on the counter and wipes his hands on the dish cloth before wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. “Of course, I do. I think I’ve always been in love with you. It just took Will giving me a kick up the ass for me to realize it.”  

Y/N had grown up next door to the Halstead’s. Even though she was Jay’s age, being a few months younger than the younger of the Halstead brothers, she became instant best friends with Will, seeing him as the brother she never had. Jay saw her as his big brother’s annoying best friend. But as they grew older, their petty arguments ceased and they became friends. Eventually feelings were developed but neither of them made their move. There was one time Jay thought Y/N could be in love with Will given how close the two friends were. And when Jay drunkenly got married in Vegas during his time in the Army Rangers, Y/N thought her chance with the former soldier were over. After that they lost touch while she went to Nursing school, she moved to Arizona after finding a job in the pediatric ward at one of the Phoenix hospitals while he came back to Chicago to look after his mom and join the police academy.   

It wasn’t until she got a job at Chicago Med three years ago after moving back to Chicago to take care of her dad, who at the time was going through the early stages of younger-onset dementia, that she reconnected with Jay. It was like they hadn’t spoken in years. And then five months ago, after a long lecture from Will, Jay got the courage to ask Y/N on a date.   

“I’m crazy in love with you too,” she smiles, looking into his eyes with nothing but pure love for him.   

He grins, kissing her passionately as he lifts her up and walks them back into the bedroom and drops her on to the bed, breaking the kiss.  

Before he can move over her to reconnect their lips, she holds out her hand, stopping him. “Wait! Before this goes any further, I have something for you.”  

Getting off the bed, she hurries over to her duffle bag and pulls out a small gift box and brings it over to him. “I know we said no gifts but I couldn’t resist and this is more of a necessity.”  

Jay takes it looking at her suspiciously but doesn’t open it right away. “It seems we both broke the no gift rule.” Still holding on to his gift, he goes into his bag and pulls out a small gift box too.   

“This isn’t a necessity but I saw it and thought of you right away,” he hands her the small box. “You open your one first.”  

Untying the ribbon and opening the box, she finds a silver chain necklace with a small pendent of her favorite flower hanging from it.   

“Oh Jay, it’s beautiful,” she gushes taking it out of the box to admire it more closely. “I love it so much,” She leans over, kissing him. “Thank you.”  

“You’re welcome,” he smiles and takes the necklace from her before moving behind her. Draping it around her neck, he clasps it together before moving in front of her and kissing her again.  

“Your turn now,” she says picking up his gift from the bed where he left it to put her necklace on her and hands it to him.  

He takes it from her and opens it to reveal a brand new watch.   

“I know your old one got smashed taking down that bad guy so I thought a new one would be the perfect gift,” she smiles seeing the surprised look on his face as he takes it out of the box. “Check the back,” she tells him.  

Flipping the watch over, he sees there’s something etched into the back of it. “To the first of many. Happy Valentine’s Day, babe. Love Y/N,” he reads aloud. “I love you so much,” he breathes pulling her in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the last.   

She takes the watch from him and breaks the kiss to put it on his wrist.  

“After this weekend, there will be no more hiding,” he tells her.  

She smiles agreeing with him. “No more hiding.”  

[imyourbratzdoll]

I would absolutely love a Andy Barber or Ari Levinson Best Friends Dad fic

Maybe they sneak into your room late at night and start touching you while you’re asleep, leading into more

Anything like that would be great

hello. I'm sorry this took so long. I thought I'd write both men. also, the smut not be that great, so I do apologise for that.

summary - you've been teasing your best friend's dad and his best friend for months, and they've finally fallen into your small trap.

warning - smut, threesome, creampie, daddy kink, breeding kink, best friend's dad, older men, slight somno, dubcon, swearing, oral sex.

18+ only please, the gifs I use aren't mine, divider by @newlips

Ari and Andy sneak into your room, their cocks hardening as they see you sleeping bare. Ari immediately called his best friend Andy when his daughter told him you were staying over, and he’s glad he did. You were a sight for sore eyes.

They move closer, and their large hands touch your body softly. Groaning as you feel so smooth, your legs widen, giving the men a great view of your glistening cunt. Together they begin to rub your swollen clit. Their other hand moves to twist your nipples and squeeze your breasts.

“God, she’s such a fucking slut, even in her sleep.” Ari hums in agreement, smirking as you whimper in your sleep. 

“A whore like her must be punished for being a tease.” Both men slowly crawl onto the bed, their clothes left on the floor, and their cocks stand tall. Andy grips his cock tightly, rubbing his leaking tip against your plump lips while Ari lines up with your weeping entrance. Both groan as their so close to finally getting what they want.

A whine leaves you, your eyes slowly opening as you wake. “Mr Levinson? Mr Barber, what are– OH!” Ari thrusts deep inside you, and the loud moan that leaves you is interrupted by Andy shoving his cock into your mouth.

“Shh, baby girl. Let us take care of you.” Ari grips your hips, stopping them from moving as he pounds harder and faster into your tight cunt. “Jesus fucking Christ! If I had known you’d feel like heaven, I would’ve fucked you in your little dresses ages ago.” His eyes nearly roll to the back of his head, never having felt someone as heavenly as you.

Andy grunts, his hands squeezing your breasts as he thrusts deep into your throat. Feeling you choke and gag on his cock makes his head fuzzy. “Fuck! That’s right, honey. Keep choking on daddy’s cock.” He leans back, watching his cock go in and out of your mouth, feeling his balls tighten at the lump in your throat. “So good, honey. You suck cock so well!”

Soft whines and whimpers escape your full mouth, your body withering underneath the prominent, older men. You wonder what your best friend would think if she walked in and found you like this. The thrill of getting caught causes your cunt to squeeze her father’s cock, tingles spreading throughout your body with this newfound pleasure. 

“You like this. Don’t you, baby girl?” Your eyes water, trying to nod as he keeps fucking into your sweet spot. One hand gripping each man, your nails dug into their flesh as they brought pleasure to your body. “Fuck– shit! I’m going to cum! You’ll be so full of me, baby girl, that you’ll soon be round with my child.” The thought of you round and plump, walking around with a part of him inside you and having to lie to everyone causes his balls to tighten and his eyes to roll as he erupts. Filling your puffy cunt to the brim with his seed.

Andy groans, thrusting faster into your mouth. The moan you let out sends vibrations up his throbbing member, causing his cock to twitch as he empties into the back of your throat. “Shit– fuck! You made me cum like a fucking teenager!” Both men groan as they pull out, Ari’s eyes transfixed on his cum leaking out of your stuffed cunt. A squeal leaves you as he pushes it back deep inside you with his finger. “Swallow it, honey. Make your daddies proud.” Andy smiles as you listen to him, his cock twitching at the sight.

You pout, eyes wide as you stare at them. “More, please?” 

They finally fell into your trap. All the hard work of acting innocent and teasing them definitely paid off. You couldn’t wait till they marked you all over the house. The next place you had in mind was your best friend's room… The thought of them wrecking you in there made your cunt clench around nothing.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[fo0lishl4m]

Mastermind

summary: There are secrets and tension between you and Tori. She is your brother's “best friend”, who treats her very badly, but you're trying to help her.

pairing: Tori Spring x gn!reader

note: the reader has an older brother and is an idiot, the reader's last name is Winter, little development, first part

chapter one | chapter two

I walked into my brother's room, and she was there, sitting on his bed, watching him talk about rugby with monotony. She looked bored. Both of them noticed my silent presence and turned towards the doorway, where I was standing. My brother frowned.

“What do you want?”

“I don't understand my French homework.”

“I'm not going to help you. Get out.”

I ignored him. I remained still, looking at him with resentment, but not because he told me no. I glanced at her and spoke again.

“Mom said not to close your door when you have visitors.”

“I don't care what she says, she's not here."

“I'll go get something to drink.” his friend said, standing up without moving a muscle on her face since I entered the room. She walked past me, and I turned around and followed her as if I wanted to follow her.

Victoria Spring is my older brother's best friend. Damian. Damian is an idiot. He told me he met Victoria when they went on a school trip, she was accompanying her brother, a boy my age, and as soon as they saw each other, they started talking like they'd known each other forever.

I don't believe him.

Tori Spring is a quiet and reserved girl, spends a lot of time in her head, and doesn't express what she feels, neither with words or gestures, which confuses you about whether she's listening attentively or planning to kill you.

Damian is obsessively in love with her.

She acts indifferent and apathetic with every gesture of affection she receives by his part.

If I were in her place, I'd do the same.

I still don't know why she's still his friend, why she hasn't hit him or escaped his sight, at least once a week she's in his room listening to him be an idiot, nodding or shaking her head when asked for an opinion.

At least once a week I see her go down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, as if her throat was dry from talking. I've never heard a word come out of her mouth when I walk by my brother's room.

Today was no exception.

“What was he talking about?”

“Rugby, and his poor performance in math.”

How do you tolerate him? I wanted to ask. I made a silent noise in response, taking a package of cookies from the cabinet and opening it. For a moment, I thought about offering her one and continuing the conversation, but I didn't. I thought, we're not friends. There's no reason to be so open with her.

“Do you know anything about rugby?”

Shut up, idiot. It's obvious I don't know how to start or keep a conversation going. Especially when I'm slightly more open or talkative than her. Barely.

“My brother is on the team.”

It's not an answer. She also has no interest in thinking about one. I wanted to say I was too, but it would sound very...desperate.

Hello, I'm your best friend's brother and I'm desperate to have a good conversation with you before you go back to my brother's room, so let me talk to you about rugby.

“I know how to make diet lemonade.” I said.

'Why are you telling me?' She responded, still with her muted or almost disinterested voice. “Are you going to make some?"

I shrugged. “Could. Next time you come over, I'll have a pitcher of diet lemonade ready for you.”

She didn't ask how I knew she liked diet lemonade, probably thinks Damian told me, but that's not true. He barely knows anything about his best friend. I found out one day when her brother and she were joking about how the school cafeteria's bad mechanism didn't sell diet lemonade. I listened and simply stored the information.

The truth is, I didn't know why I remembered it, maybe I wanted to make her feel good and comfortable in a house as messy as the Winter's.

[abrunettefangirlnerd]

The Accident

Request: JJ got hurt when he crashed his motorcycle and he woke up to see the reader sleeping, head resting on her arms, on the edge of the bed. She’s had a crush on him for years, but never told him cause he liked Kiara since kindergarten.

Paring: JJ Maybank x reader

The screeching of metal on concrete vibrates through my mind as the scene plays on repeat. Kie’s sobs, Pope’s shouts for JJ to stop playing around, Topper and Sarah helping load JJ’s body back into the truck. JJ’s head resting on my lap, my fingers running through his blood matted hair, telling myself he is just asleep and we are on John B’s couch.

               The world is submerged underwater and my only focus is on the boy laying in front of me, my best friend. The whole idea behind getting the cross back was absurd, every moment of it. No other moment of my life has come close to the horror that chilled my bones watching the cops chase after JJ once getting Kie to safety in the truck.

               Rustling coming from the door frame snaps me out of my trance to find John B, Sarah, and Kie with hushed whispers. John B wasn’t with us on our failed heist and by the look in his eyes the girls are obviously catching him up to speed. We are supposed to be taking shifts so someone is here with JJ when he wakes up but I refuse to leave. JJ’s cousin checked him out and said he should be fine, but I can’t help but watch each rise and fall of his chest to be sure.

John B’s eyes meet mine and I can see the slightest rise of his eye brows at the scene he is witnessing. I duck my head back to JJ and ignore the heat rising on my cheeks. He is the only one who knows about my crush on JJ ever since a very embarrassing late night drunk conversation after everyone else passed out for the night. But we both know that JJ has been carrying a torch for Kie since kindergarten. JJ was most hurt during her kook year, taking a long while to forgive her, but now acts like it never happened.

JJ paces back and forth with joint in his hand. Pope and John B left with Kie to get provisions for her welcome back party. Only JJ is having a harder time letting go of the last year and I am trying to talk him down. I’m really hoping the weed kicks in soon, JJ is usually more open minded when he gets a nice relaxing dose.

“Y/N how could she just leave us like that and try to come back like nothing happened?!” JJ stops mid pace to look at me, waiting a real answer.

“JJ she explained everything. We were all mad and upset she froze us out. She’s sorry and she’s back. P4L right?”

               Honestly, with Kie’s abandonment I was hoping that JJ would get over his little crush and set his sights somewhere else. Ideally I would want his sights set more on me since I was the only girl in the group. I guess it takes a while to heal a broken heart. Everything went back to normal after that night.

“Y/N,” John B whispers from the doorway. I try to ignore him but he walks till he is standing directly behind me. Placing a hand on my shoulder he tries again. “Y/N, you need to get some rest. Or at least a shower.”

I shake my head as a sob builds in my throat.

“Please, shower at least. You still have his blood on your hands and your legs.” John B squeezes my shoulder, “I’ll stay here with him.”

               Relenting, I nod my head in agreeing with John B. I will my legs to get up and he swiftly takes my place, not letting me change my mind to reclaim my seat. Slowly I make my way out but pause at the door to look back at JJ. Just one more peak at his face before I make my way to the shower.

               On the sink one of the girls laid out some of their extra clothes for me to change into. A swirl of gratitude dances in my chest. It is the lightest I’ve felt since this terrible night started. Operating on autopilot, my hand turns on the water to the shower. I let it run to allow some time for it to warm up. Hot water here is hit or miss, but who can complain about running water.

               Tearing off my clothes one piece at a time my eyes lock on to the red coating my hands and thighs. You still have his blood on your hands and your legs. I run my hands over each other in attempt to rub it off. Not hard or fast enough. My hands move faster, I press harder. I move to my thighs. Small pieces flake off but not enough to make a difference.

               Tears patter against the tile floor breaking me out of my trance. I take deep breathes, 1…2…3… I count in my head. JJ is here, he is alive and he is going to wake up. Finally stepping in the shower the luke warm water cascades down my back and I can feel my muscles loosening. I quickly get to work on cleaning myself up and changing into the new set of clothes.

“He’s still asleep,” John B’s voice greets me without looking up from the ground.

               John B gets up to leave and I quickly reclaim my seat. I feel his presence linger at the door, not quite ready to leave. I can’t blame him, I don’t want to leave him either. JJ is my best friend, and I know John B feels the same.

“Have you thought about telling him yet?” I don’t answer him, which is an answer in itself. “When he wakes up you should.”

               His footstep leave toward the living room with the others. Tell JJ? Just so he can tell me I’m just his friend and that he still has a thing for Kie. To have him act weird around me for the rest of our lives. The thought of that happening is more unbearable than the idea of seeing him and Kie together and losing him in the process. At least I lose him because of her instead of losing him because of myself.

               My eye lids grow heavy as the last bit of adrenaline seeps out of my system. Maybe I should lay down for a bit, just rest my eyes. I’ll wake up before JJ does. Slowly I climb onto the side of the bed that JJ is not on. I loop my fingers in with his as I rest my head against the pillow.

For the rest you can decide how it ends:

Angsty/Sad Happy

[kdogreads]

maybe grumpy richie x sunshine reader whos also like syds best friend and she comes in and is just extremely nice to him and he flirts w her until syd comes out and yells at him 😇😇

LOVE this! Thank you so much sweet nonnie 😍😍

This is giving suit-Richie, so not that grumpy ☹️🫶

“Hiiiii!” Syd squeals as she’s pops out of the kitchen in her pretty new chef’s coat, “I’m so glad you made it!”

She pulled you into a tight hug and you reciprocated the sheer joy at seeing your closest friend in her element.

“I’m so happy to be here, Syd. This place is incredible,” You shot her a proud gaze and she just waved you down. Typical Sydney to act like it’s not a big deal.

“Thank you—yeah, thanks. It’s been a lot, but let me take you through the kitchen and show you—“

She paused when Richie cleared his throat impatiently, obviously wanting an introduction.

“Ah, right, sorry,” Syd chuckled, “This is Richie — Front of house manager and Carmy’s cousin.”

He extended a hand to you and you shook it gracefully, noting how small your own hand felt in his big one.

“Good to finally meet you, sweetheart. Syd here talks about you all the time,” Richie smiled sweetly at you, and a shockwave shot through your veins.

“Same to you, Richie. I’ve heard a lot,” You spoke confidently as he slowly released your hand.

His eyebrows shot up in feigned surprise, “All good things, I hope.” He ended his thought with a wink and you swear you felt your heart stop for a beat. Those crystal blue eyes staring into yours; you couldn’t stop the thoughts running through your head.

God, he has a pretty smile. And he smells so good. And—

“Well we’ve been friends for like ever and I haven’t given you a tour yet, so,” Sydney trails off, trying to ignore whatever this thing is happening between you and Richie right now.

You tried your best to wipe the giddy grin from your face as you nodded to Sydney, ready to celebrate this incredible restaurant with her.

Syd took you back through the kitchen where you were happy to meet all of the people she’d spoken so highly of — Carmy, Tina, Marcus, even Fak. They were all just as skilled and friendly as she’d told you.

The two of you stayed chatting a while until she took you back out to the table she’d reserved just for you. Dinner service was about to begin and the sharply-dressed servers began seating other excited guests.

You spotted Richie on the other side of the dining room. He looked so handsome with his suit jacket on and buttoned, a new addition to the look you’d met him in earlier. The thoughts running through your mind were downright dangerous.

Your eyes drifted over the menu as you tried to expel Richie from your brain. You tried so hard to focus on the richly flavored dishes on the page that you didn’t notice when someone walked up to your table.

“Doing okay, sweetheart?” You jumped at the sweet, sultry voice, “I’ll be personally taking care of you tonight.”

The lights were just dim enough to hide Richie’s wink and your blushing cheeks.

“Uh, yeah—yes! Great, Richie, thank you,” Trying and failing to hide your giddiness, you watched as he set an icy purple-ish drink down in front of you.

“Vodka, sugar-free cranberry juice and a splash of lime.”

You couldn’t hide the shocked look in your face for the life of you, “Wow. You really do your homework, huh?”

Richie leaned in close, close enough you could feel his minty breath on your cheek when he spoke.

“I’m all about the service, baby.”

A shiver ran down your spine as he straightened up, a smug, knowing smirk on his face. You could tell he was about to say something else when the door to the kitchen swung open just a few feet away.

“Richie!” Syd whisper-yelled, “Flirt with my friend later please, I need your help in here.”

She darted back into the kitchen before either of you could respond. Richie’s smug smirk melted into a warm smile and your cheeks started to feel hot yet again.

“I’ll be seeing you soon?” Richie questioned with an eyebrow raised.

“I hope so,” You folded your hands and rested your head in them, batting your lashes up at a swooning Richie.

He simply nodded slightly, smile still plastered on his lips, before turning to head for the kitchen.

You really, really did hope you’d be seeing him later.

[bunting27]

drug ✏︎ t. zegras

a/n: i desperately need to work on my smuttier pieces, so here’s this brought to you at 1am by me preparing to start graveyards and needing a distraction. 

summary: jamie’s younger sister comes to live with him as a last resort when their parents decide they’ve given up on making her become him. who knows if trevor made her better or worse

warnings: language, pot (underage smoking but only if you’re from the states), smut!! (18+), p in v sex, intimacy while stoned (just don’t), unprotected sex (also don’t), brother’s teammate, roommate, best friend etc etc trope (again)

wc: 2.9k

✏︎

she had been shoving around piles of dirty clothes, trying to find what she knew was hidden somewhere in the room. she was not snooping, though when trevor had entered his room to see his teammates sister elbows deep in his closet throwing stuff around, that’s the first thing he assumed

“um. y/n/n? i don’t know what you’re trying to find, but unless it’s a game day outfit, you’re probably not gonna find it in there” she jumped where she was sat, slowly but surely turning around to face the boy who’s bedroom she had efficiently turned into a hurricane aftermath.

she didn’t think he’d be back so soon after gamenight, so she thought she had at least twenty minutes to grab what she was looking for and promptly put everything back to where she had carelessly torn it from.

she was wrong, obviously, because he was standing right there and she hadn’t even found it yet.

it being the one thing she had been sent to live with her brother because of, and it being the one thing she couldn’t get off her mind last night when she could smell it from her open window, only to look down and see that it had been coming from trevor.

a joint.

“hey, trev-” she cleared her throat, scurrying to her feet and pursing her lips while keeping intense eye contact with trevor, who hadn’t looked angry or upset with her, just wildly confused.

“it’s not.. what it looks like?” he smiled at her, slowly moving closer and tossing his handful of things onto his bed

“i’m not even sure you convinced yourself with that one, sweetheart” he raised an eyebrow, it being his silent way of asking what the hell she was doing in his room, and she chuckled awkwardly in response.

“last night, before you came back in from your jog, there was this smell-” his smile dropped, he tilted his head, and suddenly he was shutting and locking his door and signaling for her to stop.

“woah, woah, no- you shut- jesus christ. is jamie asking you to do this? i told him i haven’t been smoking, he needs to hop off my di-” she slapped her hand against his mouth, an exasperated look on her face because he had been yelling and jamie had been sleeping in the next room over.

“what is wrong with you? shut up, you’re gonna get us both an overbearing motherly ass lecture, and my ass is gonna end up back in the fucking gta” trevor’s eyes were wide and shocked, his hands up in the air from her sudden movement and harsh tone.

she’d hardly spoken to him at all in her first days here, and now she was pressed up close to him and she was telling him to shut up in his room, in his house. the worst part was that he was absolutely going to listen.

when she finally pulled her hand away from his mouth, he toned it down. 

“then what- oh.” she rolled her eyes at the tone he was using and couldn’t even look him in his stupid, smug face. 

“oh, sweetheart. if you wanted some, you could’ve just come down and asked” that made her look at him, a look of hope spread across her face, under the impression she’d finally get her fix for the first time since she’d come to anaheim.

“so you’ll let me take a couple? fuck, thank you, trev-” her hopeful spew of gratitude was cut short when he shook his head slightly and smirked down at her, and it was replaced with a look of sad confusion. 

“we can share. i’m not letting you wander off in an unfamiliar place with my joints” she tilted her head back and groaned. in all honesty, she was acting like a child, but she did not think trevor would be very fun to deal with high, and she just wanted to go off on her own.

“c’mon, trevor, i’m nineteen, i’m responsible, i’m not gonna do anything stupid” he shook his head, grabbing the baggie he kept tucked under the mattress and pressing his hand to her lower back. 

“yeah? then why can’t you get your own weed?” his tone was condescending and straight up mean, causing her to suck her teeth, grumbling out insults under her breath but letting him guide her to his spot out in their yard nonetheless. 

he took out one of the joints, taking it between his lips and lighting it, but then slid the lighter back into the baggie and tucked it into his pocket. she stared at him, confused, until he took a long drag and then went to hand her the joint.

“you’re joking,” he raised an eyebrow, exhaling and pulling his hand back towards himself

“fine, then” he waited a minute until going to take another drag, but she stopped his wrist, rolling her eyes and going to take it from his hand.

he pulled it back again, looking over at her,

“don’t want you runnin’ off on me, sweetheart” she stared at him for a moment, tongue poking the inside of her cheek as a last ditch attempt not to sucker punch her new roomate.

she told herself she’d rather deal with his antics high, so she should just go with it.

he brought his hand up to her lips, watching with hooded eyelids as she took a drag and savoured it, only exhaling when she needed to. he took his and then gave it another while before letting her take another.

“hale fucking lujah” she exhaled

-

that one night of y/n and trevor sneaking off to smoke turned into every night very quickly. she’d only become comfortable enough to converse with him on the third night, and tonight had marked two weeks of the two of them becoming their own little duo.

“just let me hold it, trevor, oh my god” she was giggling, and he was playing keepaway with the joint he had lit between his fingers. he hadn’t let her take it just yet, still having her smoke from his hand. he was somewhat worried she’d take it and run. at first, it was because if he lost her jamie would’ve killed him, but now he just didn’t want her to leave his side.

“like it when i get to give it to you” she rolled her eyes and parted her lips, signaling that she’d given up on taking it from him and just wanted her next hit. he smiled and lowered his hand, letting her take a drag and then taking one of his own.

“bad enough you make us share one at a time. s’ like we’re making out” his face scrunched and he shook his head, making her laugh again.

“what? you don't wanna kiss me, pretty boy?” he smiled after he exhaled, trying to contain it cause god did he ever want to kiss her, but he liked what they had going, too. if it was that or nothing, he wouldn't ruin it.

she figured he was dodging the comment, so she spoke up again “wanna try something cool?” he furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded, bringing the joint up to her lips for her to take a drag from. 

before she did, though, she nestled herself into his lap and he inhaled sharply, just trying to gauge what the hell was happening and make sure the joint was ready whenever she was.

she took a drag, giving herself a moment and then grabbing trevor’s jaw, swiping her thumb on his lip so he'd open up, and he did. she brought herself so close their noses touched and then exhaled, and he breathed in the smoke, inhaling and eventually letting it blow back out to the side of them. 

it was dead quiet for a few moments after that, and they had just been looking at each other, his hands now comfortably on her thighs and her face in such close proximity to his he could feel her breath fanning his nose.

he took it upon himself to slot his nose next to hers and kiss her, just once. it was gentle and long and sweet, words she had never imagined she’d be able to use to describe trevor. they let the night continue on with her in his lap, facing the other direction, now.

“you’re not like i thought you’d be” he whispered, kissing the top of her head while she exhaled smoke and created rings in the dark

“i’m not jamie?” he thought on it, and she was right. he’d been expecting her to be similar to her brother, especially when she first moved in and wanted nothing to do with him. he’d chalked it up to her being introverted and awkward.

he nodded rather than replying, knowing she’d feel it against her shoulder.

“the reason i’m here is cause they want me to be jamie. my parents, i mean” trevor furrowed his eyebrows, staying silent and opting to just let her continue.

“you think i found weed in the wild one day? i’ve got no fucking friends, any girl my age just wanted to fuck jamie drysdale. he used to smoke too, let me try some one day.” she looked up at him and he placed the joint in front of her lips, understanding. 

“but mom and dad never found out about that. not like they would’ve cared anyways. not much you can do to discipline your child when they’re gonna be able to buy you a new home in the near future” she frowned at herself and then continued, whispering 

“my brother is a professional athlete, in the big leagues, and the only good part of my life right now only happened cause i was trying to poach weed from someone i’d hardly ever spoken to. i understand why they want me to be more like him, but i want to be my own person, you know?” he kissed along her hairline, pressing the joint into the ashtray and tucking it back into the broken panel of the deck.

“i don’t want you to be like jamie,” she ran her hand through his curls, pushing her nose into his jaw and murmuring a small ‘thank you’

she knocked his head to the side with her own, placing another kiss on his lips and smiling into it when he kissed back, his arms now tight around her waist.

he knotted his hand into her hair, pulling her head away from his own, looking into her eyes, red from smoking, and smiled at her. she smiled back, turning the rest of her body to face him and leaning back in

“s’ getting a little cold out, maybe-” he didn’t even need to finish his sentence before she was nodding, moving herself off his lap and towards the patio door with her hand around his wrist, pulling him with her.

they quietly made their way to his room, trying their best not to wake jamie or alert him of the fact that she’d even left the house to begin with.

once they got upstairs and into bed, she nestled herself back onto his lap and kissed him again, basking in the close proximity and the warmth radiating off him. he kept them like that with his hands on her hips, almost feeling like he could wake up at any second and his dream would be cut short.

he gave her a few more haste kisses before pulling away, pressing his forehead to hers but dodging her lips when she tried to connect them again. his hands slid under her shirt, eyes boring into her own while she nodded slowly, lifting her arms but wasting no time in reconnecting their lips once her shirt was off.

“so pretty, all mine” her heart was pounding in her chest at his comment, hands shaky as they messed with the hair at the nape of his neck and then made their way under his shirt, moving it up his stomach and pulling it off when he pulled away from her lips. 

her one hand stayed there, palm resting flat against his lower stomach and the other hand came back up into his hair, their kisses becoming more and more needy as time went on. 

he moved to anchor his fingers into the band of her sweatpants, but she shook her head.

“more kisses. please,” he smiled, kissing her again and revelling in the way she grinned against him and traced along his stomach, happy to just have him like this. 

they kept it to just kisses until y/n could no longer ignore the bulge pressing into the side of her thigh, taking the initiative now to grab his hands from their spot on her waist and hook them into her pants

they worked together to undress one another the rest of the way, her panties being the only thing between the two of them now.

the both of them were antsy and hot from the anticipation, trevor opting to let her decide when she was ready for him. in the meantime, he placed delicate kisses on her neck and collar bone, smoothing his hands along her bare thighs while she basked in the attention

his heart almost skipped a beat when she hovered slightly and calmly took him into her hands, the precum leaking from his tip a blatant tell of how much he wanted her.

they locked eyes while she pulled her panties to the side and slid herself down on him, hiding away in his shoulder once she had come all the way down to mask the whimper that slipped from her lips.

“d’you want me to help, angel?” he whispered, his tone sincere and his hands readying themselves at her hips in case she decided she wanted his guidance.

she settled for a small nod into his neck, choking out a moan when she felt him lift her hips up off him and slowly let her back down, leaving sweet kisses on her shoulder as he did so. his breath hitched when she squeezed him, a tell that she was definitely enjoying his slow pace.

the second time he lifted her, he met her in the middle, still slow but hard and passionate. he looked to the side to see her eyes shut peacefully and her mouth shoved into his shoulder so as to not wake jamie with her noises. 

he continued what he was doing, lifting her up and then pressing his hips up into her as he gently guided her back down, eventually opting to lift her less and use his own hips more, something that opened up a chance for his other hand to drop from her hips and move to trace circles on her clit.

as soon as she felt the contact, she whimpered into his shoulder, opening her eyes and tilting his head to the side so he could kiss her again.

the more they went on, the more she was convinced she’d never be tired of feeling him close to her like this, the more she was worried what jamie would think, if he’d even let her stay in his home any longer if he found out.

his kisses were like a new drug to her, one so new she couldn’t guess what her parents or brother would think. if they’d tell her she was addicted and she needed to quit, or if they’d welcome it - see how her mood changed with him around and not see the list of potential cons.

her lungs would be safe, her heart not so much.

but all of those thoughts were wiped from her brain, anyways, when one of his thrusts had him nudging the perfect spot inside of her, and suddenly she was seeing stars and gushing around him. 

the flutter of her core around him and the muffled cry into his shoulder had trevor coming, too, sliding her off him and keeping up his patterns on her clit while his cum landed on her stomach and his breath got caught in his throat.

he hugged her close to him for a few moments as she came down from her high, eventually lifting her off his lap and making his way over to his ensuite.

he came back with a pile of clothes, a clean stomach and a warm rag to clean her up, her eyes following him with a look of uncertainty as he did so and got her into a pair of his boxers, panties now discarded, and one of his tshirts.

that look faded as he got into bed with her, laying down and gently pulling her so she was cuddled close to his side with her head tucked into his chest.

“what if jamie is up before us?” she whispered, still slightly overwhelmed and very tired.

“what if he already told me i could have you?” she furrowed her eyebrows, looking up at him with a look of confusion.

“don’t worry, he just thinks i've got a crush. doesn’t know you come on my jogs with me” she giggled, shoving her hands in his hair and leaning in to his kiss on her temple.

“he wants you to be happy, y/n/n. he thinks i’d be good for you. i don’t really know why. but he trusts me” she smiled to herself, knowing jamie wasn’t that overbearing and motherly when it came to guys, only things he’s fucked up on before and he didn’t want her to have to experience.

“i trust you, too, trev. to make me happy”

[syllvane]

a dwindling, mercurial high- nikolai lantsov x reader

“You could’ve left, with Tolya and Tamar, y’know.” Nikolai said, his words slurring ever so slightly and you looked at him amused.

You couldn’t remember the last time that you had been sober enough to remember him getting plastered.

“I know I could have, silly.”

He smiled at you and you forced yourself to look away from him, looking for anything or anyone out of place.

“Then why did you stay?”

“Someone has to keep you from getting killed.” You said, only half-joking.

It wasn’t a large celebration, only close friends and family of the soon to be monarchs invited to gathering.

Alina was on the other side of the room, nursing a glass of kvas and talking with Zoya and Genya. 

Tolya and Tamar had told Nikolai that they wouldn’t be able to attend, some business with stopping slaver ship. Mal had given no word to Alina.

Hence, the kvas.

“You have so much confidence in me.”

“More confidence than I have in most people.” You replied quickly, taking an opportunity to look at him.

His golden cheeks were flushed red with alcohol and his eyes were focused on you, looking at you like he should’ve been looking at his fiancée.

“You should go socialize with Alina and the others. People might get the wrong impression if you’re talking to the Captain of your guard all night.”

“And what impression would that be?”

That you love me. That I love you. That the most selfish parts of me want you to pick me over the entirety of Ravka.

“I don’t know, that there might be an emergency or something- Nikolai.”

He stood up and cleared his throat loudly, commanding all of the attention in the room.

“My fellow countrymen, I just want all of you to rest assured that there is no emergency going on. My good friend and head of guard thought that us having a conversation might give that impression, so calm your nerves and enjoy the drinks.”

Several chuckles went around the room and conversations slowly resumed as he sat back down, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Are you happy now?” You asked and he looked at you, a smug smile on his face.

“Very. Are you done trying to convince me to talk to other people?”

“Odd way to describe your fiancée, ‘other people’.” You retorted. 

“You could just call her Alina.”

“Or moya tsaritsa.”

He took another sip of his drink, shaking his head.

“I don’t get it, you liked Alina when you first met her, on the Volkvolny.”

You wished more than anything that Tolya and Tamar were here, or that you could at least drink.

“I do like her. You're the one who hasn’t spoken to her all night.”

“And would you rather that I go over to her and play the part of the adoring husband? That I hold her closely and whisper in her ear?” He taunted and you scoffed, looking anywhere but him. He grabbed your hand. “I’d rather be here as well.”

You looked at your intertwined hands, unable to focus on much beyond how his skin felt on yours, suddenly glad that Tolya and Tamar weren’t here, painfully aware of how fast your heart was beating.

He let go of your hand, standing up again.

“Well, friends, I think I’ve had enough revelry for tonight- please, continue to indulge yourself. As difficult as it might be, the party must go on.” He said, winking at his guests, all of whom smiled at him kindly.

He turned towards the door and started walking.

You signaled the other guards of Nikolai’s to move, glancing over the room once more to see Alina looking at you.

She smiled at you warmly and you did your best to return it, still thinking about how his skin felt on yours.

You turned around, following Nikolai out and when you and the other guards on duty arrived to his chambers, Nikolai motioned for you to follow him inside.

The doors closed.

“You’re the one that I love, you know.” He said, pouring himself another drink. You watched the liquid slosh into the glass cup, watched as he took a sip. “If that’s what marriage was about, it would be you I would marry.”

You stayed completely still.

“Nik-”

��I love you. I love you, and I’m sorry that it took so long for me to say it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You asked miserably, and he looked at you, taking a step closer.

“Why did you stay?” He asked softly and you shook your head. “Please. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you.”

You closed your eyes- you didn’t know when tears started streaming down your face.

“Because I love you.” You said as if it was the worst thing in the entire world. “I love you and as much as I hate everything about this, you’re still in my life. And I will take whatever life I can get with you.”

You opened your eyes and he looked at you sorrowfully, his hand hovering over your cheek as if to caress it, to wipe the tears away, before it dropped back to his side.

He closed his eyes and took a step away from you.

“I’m sorry.” He said, his voice barely a whisper. “I should get to sleep.”

You nodded professionally, as if tears weren’t actively streaming down your face, taking a step away from him and turning.

“Right, moy tsar. You have a big day coming up, you need all the rest you can get.” He flinched at the title- not that you noticed, facing away from him. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” He said hoarsely.

[byechristopher]

can you make a pt.2 of “i want more” but like the middle of it….idk maybe chris asking his brothers advices about what to do and ugly crying, writing the letter….just an idea bc i’m mesmerized with this fic and you writing

I Want More. [0.2]

– CHRIS STURNIOLO ANGST & FLUFF.

PART ONE.

Author's note: thank you so much for the request, love! I loooove the idea that you gave me so, here you go, Chris' side to the story. Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and w33d, little bit of angst. But that's pretty much it.

Playlist:

"Chris. I think we need to stop this thing between us."

I freeze. What?

I am pretty sure I look like a crazy man, because my eyes are wide open and I completely freeze. I can't quite understand what is going on inside my head, or my body, but something makes me feel like throwing up.

"What? Why?" I whisper and I wish I never asked that question.

"I don't feel like doing it anymore, sorry. It's for the better." she is cold as ice, I see her standing up, searching for her clothes. There's nothing I can possibly say that won't sound utterly insane. So I just watch her.

She is stiff and quick, she looks like she wants to be out of my house immediately. As soon as possible. I watch her leave.

It is the first time that I watch her leave and I can feel my chest becoming empty all of a sudden. I quickly put on my sweatpants and I run down the stairs, chasing after her but by the time I reach the door, she is already in the car.

Fucking hell.

A few days have passed since that incident and they have been the worst days of my life, I think.

It's only 10PM but I try to get some sleep, I don't want to stay awake for too long, because my thoughts will go wild again. But as soon as I close my eyes, I can feel my chest hurting, a knot in the stomach, a lump in my throat. It feels horrible. So horrible that I tell Nick.

"You know it's because of what happened with that friend of yours, right?" he emphasizes the word "friend", rolling his eyes sarcastically.

"Nick, I'm fucking telling you.. actual pain. Cut the bullshit!" I am so frustrated.

He shrugs and widens his eyes, practically face-palming his face, "Chris, you're in love with the girl, just admit it and shut the fuck up so we can all go to sleep!" he groans.

"Fucking hell, Nick. I shouldn't have told you anything!" my fist meets the table but Nick is unfazed. He knows my anger issues appear when I am feeling like this.

"Chris, I'm being serious. You're denying it so much that your body started to react to it. This is an actual thing that happens. And no matter what I tell you, you won't listen to me." his voice is calmer now and I know he's being serious, "so grow a pair and just tell her already!" he yells and turns to the other side, covering himself with a blanket.

"You've been really fucking helpful, Nick, thanks!" I scoff, closing the door behind me and then going back to my room.

This cannot be the case. Nick is just being an ass. But why does my chest hurt again now that I think of her?

I don't know how long it's been but I've been drinking. I don't know why, I'm not this type of person but, well, happens to the best of us. I try to find my lighter, grabbing the blunt I rolled just a few minutes ago, and heading outside so that I can smoke in peace.

I am outside of her house and I don't know how or why, but it feels right. I feel the need to cry, God, I am such a pussy. I call her. The moment I hear her voice, some tears escape my eyes. I cannot understand.

She comes outside and we start talking, with every word we say, my chest hurts even more.

".. that's not how friends with benefits are, Chris." there's not a way I can actually reply to her because she's right. That's not what friends do, but fuck, I'm scared.

I chew on my bottom lip nervously, "I don't know how to do this. I thought you liked how things were."

What the fuck am I even saying? I just keep messing up. But what she says next, messes me up.

"I want more", "grow a pair", "I want nothing to do with you".

Nick's words reappear in my head and I want to fucking run away. Instead, once again, I do what I do best. I suck it in and I fuck up, "so is this the end?" even the words feel heavy on me.

"I suppose so. Yes." I nod, my jaw is clenched and I can feel my heart breaking again. I turn around quickly, about to leave, because I can't keep my tears in place anymore. I hear the door shut behind me and I burst.

I turn around, walking towards her door again, drunk, high and ugly crying like a little boy. How embarrassing it would be if she ever saw me like this.

I don't remember how, but apparently I went home at some point, because I wake up in my own room. I immediately run downstairs to find Nick and Matt in the kitchen.

"I need help." I clear my throat.

"No shit." Nick rolls his eyes and Matt laughs.

"No, seriously. I need help. I went to her house yesterday. Drunk. And crying." Matt turns around to face me and so does Nick. They did not expect that, neither did I.

"Oh wow. You're actually in love." Matt continues to sip on his juice, and Nick slaps his hand over his mouth dramatically, "don't say that word, Matt! He'll go crazy." Nick says and I sigh.

"No, you're good. Because you two are right. And she's right. She confronted me, told me to grow a pair." I let my head fall on the hard surface of the table, forehead pressed against the wood. My brothers are both looking at me.

"Yeah, it was about time." Matt agrees and I would normally punch him, but I'm just a mess now.

"What do I do?" I groan.

"Go to her house again", "call her, duh", "send her flowers", "buy her chocolate?", "oh my God, plan a romantic date!".

The list of suggestions was long, needless to say, but it still just.. wasn't right. Then an idea came up and I stood up abruptly.

"Wait, I know!" not wanting to lose the creativity or the courage, I quickly run to them, giving them both a kiss on the cheek (which made us all cringe, but it's fine), and then quite literally run to my room.

I am outside of her house again; I've already knocked on the door, pushed the envelope underneath the door and this is the most nervous I've been in my whole life. I can't believe I just did that.

I can hear shuffling behind the door and I almost want to leave – almost. I don't. But I feel the stupid tears in my eyes again. What if she doesn't want this anymore? What if she just never opens the door? What if she hates me already? What if–

The door opens and she cries, and I'm crying. But she opened the door, does that mean–

Stop overthinking.

"I can't lose you. I promise, I will try for you. I will do anything for you." I whisper and I mean it, I'm hugging her so tightly.

"I love you, Chris."

Wow, it feels good. To hear someone say they love you and mean it.

"I am in love with you too."

Fucking hell. That feels just as good. To love someone and be able to let them know.

"Your handwriting still sucks."

I laugh, "fuck off."

Sorry, I didn't have time to proof-read, so, sorry if I have any typos. Pft. I was excited to upload it.

@loveesiren promised to tag you, queen. 🤍

[bbanghiitomi]

| cut my chest open, my heart is yours to take

synopsis: kang haerin hates herself, and believes the world hates her too — that's not true because you love her.

— nonidol!khaerin × nonidol!fem!reader

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ

you should say it to my face, tell me how much i've changed — maybe we can find a way, let's mend these broken pieces, i want to love you once again.

"what's your answer?" haerin hears you whisper in her ear, she raises her eyebrows at you as she glances at you with her peripheral vision. haerin sees you looking at her with hope, but her head stays still — trying her best not to turn her head to face you. haerin is quite worried that the calculus teacher will notice them. it's the 2 minute drill time — he's giving the class at least 2 minutes to answer the problem he has on the board. haerin gulped the lump on a throat and moved her paper a bit for you to see.

only a few seconds left, haerin noticed you put your head down and started writing — luckily, you were very fast at writing and was able to finish quickly.

"only 30 seconds left." mr. kang stated, standing behind his desk, eyes looking over everyone. haerin stood up and made her way to his desk to hand her paper after you had finished copying. he checked it quickly and marked a perfect score with his red pen.

"is there anyone else?" haerin was the first one to get the answer. there were students who started lining up and haerin saw you make your way to the line, you even looked at her and gave her a toothy smile.

haerin usually tried her best to get a full score on every drill, it's a good way to pull her marks up when she gets a not-so-good score in her calculus test. haerin thinks she's a good learner, haerin picks up topics easily and tries her best to participate whenever she can.

haerin just has bad study habits, haerin doesn't really have lots of close friends in class — haerin only knew you, but you guys were not close, just friends who happened to be seatmates. you were the person who always needed help in calculus and statistics, or anything related to math like physics and chemistry.

at this age, most students who do well in academics like haerin would be stingy when it comes to helping other students, school is now a war and a competition for them as soon as they hit 16 — and haerin agreed that it really is the battle of the best.

the survival of the fittest.

haerin had never saw it that way though, she's just here to do well for herself, not to beat any kind of records but to get a good education that she could use in the future.

since haerin did not have a lot of friends, there is no way for her to learn a great strategy in studying for exams, haerin does well in other classes but haerin had a hard time maintaining a healthy study habit, and it is affecting her marks in her calculus and statistics tests.

you thought the opposite though, you praised haerin for maintaining a good grade even though haerin rarely made study notes for tests to use, even though her only way of studying was with her phone and even though haerin only relied on her notes in order to remember lessons.

you admired her scores, haerin usually get good marks in other classes but she always seems to have a hard time maintaining good marks in mathematics, it's truly her weakness.

but once you told her.

"ah well, it really doesn't define your intelligence right? tests are just a way to see what you've learned by recalling past lessons and compiling them into one paper, in the end your other scores in activities will say otherwise."

haerin agreed, but it's still bothering her how she can't really find a good way to test herself.

"y/n, can i copy your notes?" even though you weren't one of the top students, haerin can always count on you when it comes to complete notes, one of your favorite hobbies is writing, you love jotting down notes and getting your hand busy, haerin noticed — meanwhile, haerin is more focused on listening, only jotting down important words, there are times teachers required complete notes as extra activity.

you happily handed her your notes. "here! by the way, we have a short test next week for statistics. i don't really remember the coverage and i'm quite scared i don't remember anything about the lessons." you told her, haerin looked at you as she took your notes from your hand and sat down beside you.

"oh, you're right. i do know the coverage, but i haven't studied it yet. i tried but nothing really comes up inside my head." haerin answered, seriously — yesterday, she tried to review the things that are part of the test, yet haerin had a hard time registering the terms and formulas because of how easily distracted she gets.

it has gotten really annoying at this point.

haerin even tried techniques to help her but they won't work.

you smiled at her, then you scooted closer and haerin could feel your shoulder brush against hers.

"let's study together! i can help you and you can help me." haerin liked the idea, it seemed like a good suggestion to have someone to study with so both can analyze the points that they need to improve at.

so haerin agreed.

"alright, we can study at your place if you want." haerin told you, you cheered and raised your fist. "let's go!"

haerin liked your presence, a lot more than she expected. you're like the marshmallow to her chocolate, when you're snug and melted by each other's warmth the two of you become so good together.

haerin noticed that your presence beside her eased her tense posture, haerin is not used to such company when she studies but as time passed by haerin got comfortable with your company. you were so nice to her and actually listened!

haerin didn't even realize you've been studying with her for three hours, it felt short. if that time was spent sitting by the classroom and listening to statistics, haerin would've already been knocked out on her desk. but maybe because haerin enjoyed your company, the time went faster than it usually does.

the next day, when everyone took the statistics short test, haerin felt weird — everything on the paper was easy, it felt like she had just acquired all the knowledge she needed to get a perfect mark that she wasn't expecting.

and so haerin did, everyone was amazed, including you, as always.

"oh my god! you are so smart!" you got a passing score, you were already grateful for that, even went through lengths to thank haerin by treating her to lunch at the nearest restaurant that your friends usually go to.

haerin doesn't go out a lot, haerin barely has anyone to be with and haerin does not have the time in this world to spend on such things.

"i didn't expect to do that well either." haerin sheepishly laughed, suddenly embarrassed by the amount of praise she's been receiving from you. haerin never really felt like this whenever someone would tell her how smart she was, no matter how much someone thanked her for her kindness. only this time with you and it's such a weird feeling to have.

it's like having cramps but in a funny way.

in a way haerin would be happy to experience again.

"no really, my mom was amazed that i got a passing score, and not a 'barely passing' score! she gave me a bonus allowance!" you cheered, sitting across from her. haerin smiled, and it felt like the most genuine smile she had in a while.

it felt weird on her face, like she had moved more muscles than she usually does.

"that's great, i'm glad i could help." haerin never realized how happy she sounded, how — how does she explain this? her tone was a lot weirder than usual, haerin doesn't usually speak in such a bright tone, it has always been monotonous.

but you didn't mind it, of course you didn't.

studying together for exams or important quizzes has become your routine with her, haerin realized the reason she did well while studying is because haerin gets to review what she teaches you and get all the information stuck inside her head.

your presence is a huge comfort for her too, haerin knows you wouldn't judge her mistakes and would be willing to help.

while you were on a short break, something came up and you got a message from someone.

when you peeked at your phone haerin witnessed a very huge smile on your face, and haerin couldn't help but wonder what you were reading — you even looked at her with excitement and continued typing.

"sorry, someone just messaged me. anyway, let's go study again!"

haerin found out that you had just started dating a boy from another school hailing from the other city, kim woonhak.

haerin didn't really know what to feel about that, but she was pretty sure that she had to be more aware of her actions with you. unlike before, haerin doesn't get too close with you, she tries not to make unnecessary skin contact with you when you are together, when she looks at you, haerin tries not to stare too much and stuff because haerin finds that it might be a little weird.

even the way haerin messages you has changed, haerin can't let anyone think she's getting in the way of your relationship — haerin felt weirded out by that thought that she tried to become less "friendly" with you to avoid conflicts.

it seems like the conflict isn't with you and woonhak, but with her and her own heart.

haerin slowly realized that she was being defensive, in denial? in fact, you seemed to notice her dismissive behavior, but haerin can't find a good reason to try and divert your attention away from her actions.

haerin thought it would be weird if she told you the truth, right?

haerin had lots of thoughts that clashed against each other, and it's making her dizzy.

haerin knew she needed a break to think about it a lot more.

"hey y/n, can we not have our usual study sessions for this week? i don't think i'm feeling too well and i think i need some rest." haerin lied, because she had found out that it was the easiest way to avoid you asking her questions, it sounded personal enough for you to not think too much about it.

"it's alright, you can rest how long you want as long as you get better. you can just message me whenever you can." you told her, and haerin felt her heart hurt — maybe because she didn't like the thought of lying to you, it made her feel guilty because she's starting to feel like a bad friend.

and maybe, because she won't be the same without you.

it took her so long, until haerin realized.

haerin had to get back to your old routine with her, because she knew it was for the better — both of you would benefit from it and haerin thought that as long as you see nothing wrong with it then it's alright — right?

haerin has so many questions, and haerin cannot find the answers.

these feelings that spiraled inside of her didn't seem to affect her education, haerin thought that your presence still helps her get through the lessons.

but it's funny when you get your break in the middle of the study session and you're busy talking to your boyfriend, haerin tries not to listen but haerin can't seem to hold back the urge. she knew it was rude, but what can she do?

haerin knew you really love woonhak, even in your posts — the way you talked about him, the way you described your relationship with woonhak — you seemed content with that, haerin felt bad she was stealing your time for him, because wouldn't it be better if you went studying with woonhak instead of haerin? you guys were pretty far away from each other but not that far, so haerin doesn't understand what's holding you up.

she was nothing but a friend to you,

and you were nothing but a… friend..?

more than a friend to her.

there's this one time that haerin can remember, you and her were studying but you weren't in the mood — you slumped back and your mood was off. haerin tried not to poke your patience and be nice to you, just in case something private came up and she did her best not to pry.

but you spoke out of the blue which surprised her when haerin head your tone faltering.

"do you think there's no chance to redeem a relationship when both of you have outgrown each other?" usually when you ask haerin questions, your voice sounds cheerful — like you're genuinely curious, happy to have asked a question.

this was the first time you asked her anything about your relationship and to add that you sounded sad.

haerin was confused.

what does haerin even know about love?

she's never been in a relationship before.

"what do you mean?" haerin asked, sounding like a robot more than a concerned friend.

so haerin thought she screwed up, but you smiled — solemnly, that is and clarified.

"you know? our relationship isn't what it used to be, we've outgrown our feelings for each other. it's starting to become mutually toxic for us." you paused, haerin can see you inhale and exhale a deep breath, trying to hold the back tears.

haerin felt bad, because it's reached that point and because haerin can't do anything to help this time.

haerin lets you continue what you wanted to say.

"and it's kind of hard to accept because i know — no, we know it's none of our fault. i kind of realized eventually that it's just not gonna work out and that we will have to end it. i can sense that it's the same for him."

haerin gulped as a lump was stuck in her throat, haerin stayed silent and looked away, haerin herself didn't know what to answer.

"i was wondering if you think there's still a chance." you stated, your eyes looked sad but there was a smile on your lips.

haerin hates it when things are confusing, like your expression. all she wants is to know you.

haerin smiled and looked at her. "honestly, i don't know how i would help you. i'm no expert when it comes to love, but i think you guys are just at the wrong time."

haerin cleared her throat, for some reason, a voice in her head was urging her to tell the truth about her dismissive behavior from before because haerin wanted to clear things up.

"i'm gonna be honest again y/n, the reason i was avoiding and being dismissive to you before is because i'm afraid i might cause a problem with you and woonhak. i — you're seriously a great friend and i wouldn't want to cause you such trouble so i did what i thought was the best thing to do in that situation."

you only stared at her, that's when haerin realized how pretty your eyes were.

you laughed. "you don't have to worry about that, it's over."

haerin didn't know what to feel, haerin needed some type of answer as to why she felt like that because even though haerin might seem to have the hang of it, she actually doesn't know what to do anymore.

why does her heart ache a little?

haerin thinks you are sad.

and haerin does not know how to fix that, so in the end, she's sad too.

as haerin was walking home, she had another conflict with herself — haerin is relieved she got to spend time with you again, like you guys used to before, the closeness was back and you two were like marshmallow and chocolate again bonded by a cracker that is the love you have for her.

but haerin cannot be happy without feeling guilt. haerin can't seem to understand what rooted this feeling, besides the fact that you and woonhak have broken up.

then it hit her, like a train — like a deer in headlights.

haerin liked you,

for a long time.

haerin feels stupid, in reality she wasn't shocked, like an adult going through pages of their photo book filled with memories captured by a single photo — haerin looked back on all the memories you spent with her, haerin knows something must have caused this conflict inside of her head — heart.

and it's that feeling haerin haven't been able to point out after all this time.

haerin is in love with you but you were happy with woonhak.

haerin felt guilty that she was close with you and didn't realize that the guilt came from the fact haerin liked you and might fall even harder.

there was a slim chance haerin might ruin your relationship.

what if woonhak hates her? because he felt like she stole you from him.

haerin has no idea what to do with these feelings, there are too many people who are aware of her closeness with you, your history with woonhak.

if she tried to run after what her heart wants, she might be ostracized for it.

because it sounded wrong.

and once again — trying to reach out to her feelings made haerin feel guilty of becoming that "girl" between you and woonhak because she feared the world might see her that way.

and haerin hated it.

despised it.

haerin wished she knew better than this.

all she ever wanted was to help you.

"haering-ah." you smiled at her, but your smile faltered when you noticed the small frown on her lips how she looked lost staring at thin air.

"what's wrong haerin?" you poked the girl's cheeks and made her look up at you with an alert expression. "a-ah what? hey…" she placed a hand on the cheek you touched, rubbing it.

"you look down, is something bothering you?" you gave her a small pat on her back, it eased the storm inside of haerin, her eyebrows felt stiff — having it hard to crack an expression. she hated how nice you are, she hated how happy you are — the calm in her storm, it felt like she can never get close to your level of being stable.

there's always a rocking quake, a landslide in her head that keeps on destroying the walls in her.

she wants to know.

"did i… does woonhak hate me?" haerin asked you.

you pushed the strands of your hair behind your ear as it kept falling on your face, you shook your head and gave her a smile. "no, why would he? woonhak doesn't hate you, not me, not anyone." you asked, scooting closer to her.

haerin felt your shoulder brush against hers. "i'm sorry if i — what if i, i don't know…" haerin struggled to find the right words, placing a hand on her face with a deep sigh. you kept your hand on her back. "hey, you didn't do anything wrong. i told you, we fell out of it, that's no one's fault, not yours, not his, not mine. who told you that?"

haerin felt tears prickle on her palm, it's like a stream of river, running continuously. haerin sniffled, embarrassed. you leaned your face close to her, concerned. "hey, haerin… what's wrong?" you asked, so gently.

i love you, that's what's wrong —

haerin wiped the tears on her face, turning her head at you slightly. "no one told me — but, i just can't help but think about it. i care about you y/n."

you nodded at her, of course you know that. and you care for her too, more than haerin knows.

"i know. i do too, hmm?"

haerin sniffled, her usual sharp eyes turned soft, fragile — her heart was about to break.

"i love you." haerin whispered.

you heard it, totally did — you looked down, not knowing what to say, it's not like you don't love haerin.

you do, but not yet; not when you've just gone through a heartbreak.

it's not the right time. so instead, you embraced haerin in a hug, rocking her softly.

in that way, she feels your love for her when you're not ready to respond to her words yet.