#my best bet is to get tipsy and try it so I’ll be less anxious and make fewer mistakes

[supercasey]

White Palace is a layer of hell

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[fluffyjoeck]

Jack plays with the phone in his hand, listening as the makeup artist goes on about different people she had met on set. He’s gotten his third text in a row, which he’s sure are from Conor.

Conor, the reason why he’s here in the first place, is loving every moment of this. Conor had signed him up for First Dates without actually talking to him, and once he was chosen for the next round he had Conor by his side guilting him into continuing on.

“What do you think of my chances?” he asks, looking her in the eye. He feels almost vulnerable, waiting for the queue from the cameramen to start his interview. It’s such a surreal moment, that he’s not sure he can go through with anymore.

The woman, who he learns soon after is called Julie, stops brushing his face and leans down to be face to face with him. “I think he’d be a fool to let you out of his sights.” And then, he feels much better. His nerves haven’t magically gone - although he’s sure the bar will help with that - but he’s got someone on his side and that helps more than he could have imagined. “As for you Jack, just keep an open mind and you’ll be okay.”

He can do that, of course he can, so he nods his head and smiles at Julie. “What’s the worst that can happen anyways?”

**

Jack’s sitting at the bar, making small talk with the bartender and sipping his drink, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, and looks up to see a man dressed in a dark suit, hair a mess of swoops, standing beside him. He can feel the corner of his lips tug up, just a little. He’s beautiful, Jack thinks, but he notices that the man is just as anxious as he is. It’s a relief in a sense, sharing this crazy experience with someone like him.

“I’m Jack,” he says, shaking his hand. It feels impersonal, but he’s acutely aware of the cameras set on them.

The man smiles at him, and Jack can’t help but smile back. “I’m Joe, it’s nice to meet you.” 

They make their way to their table, drinks in hand, and Jack’s actually excited about the night. He’s full of optimism and hope, which may be a dangerous mix for a first date, but he’s sure he’s not the only one feeling like this.

“Can we forget about everyone who’s going to be watching us?” he asks, as he takes his seat. It’s a momentous task, but he knows it’ll make everything easier. He doesn’t want these five minutes of fame, instead he wants to know everything there is to know about Joe. “So where are you from?”

“I’m from Wiltshire, but I’m currently living in London,” Joe answers. “It’s very different from the countryside, you should have seen me during my first few months in London. My roommate Caspar was fearing for my life.”

“There’s not many tractors on the roads of London,” he jokes, and Joe laughs at this.

“I’m surprised I wasn’t run down on my first day!”

“Well I’m glad you weren’t, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you,” he says, and he watches Joe’s cheeks turn a shade of pink. 

“What about you?” Joe asks, after taking a long sip of his drink.

“I’m from Brighton, but I’m actually in London too. Me and my brother moved down recently.”

“My sister’s living in Brighton!”

**

“I don’t know if I have a type. I just want to share my happiness with someone, you know? It’s a little sappy, but I’ve watched my parents continue to be so in love with each other for so long, and I’ve always wanted something like that. I want someone who makes me laugh, who makes me smile. He can be easy on the eye too, that wouldn’t hurt.”

**

The conversation flows so easily, and Jack never wants it to end. They’re eating dinner when Joe tells him he used to be a thatcher back in Wiltshire, and Jack grins as he listens to Joe describe everything there is to the job. This shouldn’t be something he finds interesting, but he’s left hanging on every word Joe says.

“So, why did you sign up for the show anyways?” Joe asks.

“My brother signed me up. He said he was sick of seeing me on my own,” he says, chuckling softly. “He’s a bit of a nuisance actually. What about you?”

“I don’t really know,” Joe admits, his face scrunching at the admission. “I only recently came out to everyone, so I think it just felt like it was the right time too really push myself to do something crazy.”

Jack’s taken back by the honesty of the answer, and he feels a sudden urge of affection for him. They’re strangers, although he feels like he’s known Joe all his life from their little time together. He wants to hold his hand, but he’s actually nervous about his chances on his date, so he refrains himself.

“I’m actually surprised you’re single,” Joe says, taking Jack out of his thoughts. He looks up at him, and Joe senses his confusion, smirking. “There’s gotta be something wrong with you.”

**

“I’ve never really been in a serious relationship. I had my heart broken by the girl I sat beside in class when I was five - she had promised to be my girlfriend but I found her sharing her cookies with Eddie Cooper - and I swore off love after that.”

“That’s the reason?”

“I guess I’ve always been scared.”

**

“I think this is the point where I show you photos of all of my cats,” Jack says, leaning in closer to Joe, who looks to be falling for his joke.

“No way.”

“No! Have you found an apartment in London that lets you have pets?” he asks, and Joe just nods in response, still waiting for Jack to answer his previous question. He pauses, feeling a little unsure of himself. “I don’t really know why.”

He doesn’t know if Joe believes him, but he doesn’t say anything in return. Jack moves the conversation on quickly, sharing a story of a disastrous double date he had gone on with Mikey, hoping he hadn’t messed up his chances.

Because if he’s being honest, he’s waiting for the kicker. He’s waiting for Joe to realise he isn’t the person Joe had expected. He’s not someone that people dream of, he’s the person they’re warned about. He’s always out, bringing different people home. Because he’s too scared to commit, knowing full well that he’ll just disappoint his partner at some point down the line.

Joe’s laughing at the story, and he thinks that he might still be okay, when Joe throws him a lopsided grin that nearly makes him swoon on national TV. “I’m having a really good time.”

Jack’s heart hitches a little in his chest, skipping a beat. He’s having a good time, too. A really good time. It’s equally terrifying and wonderful.

“Me too.”

**

Jack’s in the bathroom stall with his phone to his ear, trying to take in the many questions that have been thrown his way by Conor and Anna.

“It’s going well,” he says, when they finally stop talking. “His name’s Joe, he���s very attractive, and he’s really nice.”

“You’re going soft,” Conor says, laughing, but Jack knows he means well. “I’ve never heard you give an actual answer to that question before. You must really like him.”

“I’m hanging up,” Jack says in response, refusing to think so deeply into the date. “I’ll talk to you later, I’m sure I have a cheesecake waiting for me to dig into.”

“That’s not the only thing you’re going to dig into,” Conor says, and Jack can hear his mother scolding him in the background. The rest of their family had coincidentally came to visit the night of his date, and he was already dreading come back home to all of their questions.

“Goodbye!”

**

As time passes and the drinks continue to flow, Jack is incredibly amused at the different stages of tipsy Joe has gotten. His hair is dishevelled from where he’d been running his fingers through it all night, his cheeks are slightly rouged and his smile has rarely left his face, even when Jack wasn’t trying to be funny. He knows he’s not doing much better - he’s practically giddy with excitement. He’s finding everything much funnier, and he’s less careful with the looks he gives Joe from across the table.

“You know when you went to the bathroom, I saw a few people staring,” Joe tells him.

“Bet their dates were delighted,” he scoffs, trying his best not to spit out a mouthful of cake on Joe.

“You didn’t notice?” Joe asks.

“I’ve only noticed you,” he admits, a painfully honest answer he hadn’t even expected from himself.

“Good.”

**

“What did I think about my date with Joe?”

**

“I can’t believe we’re having our first fight,” Joe huffs, both of their hands reaching for the bill.

“It was too good to be true. Can’t believe I’m getting my heart broken so soon,” he says, feigning hurt. 

**

“He’s really funny, and he’s really sweet. It’s been a great night, even better than what I had expected. It was fun.”

**

He’s asked to come back into the interview area, for the analysis. Jack’s honestly terrified, for a whole list of reasons. He’s scared that Joe hated every moment of the night, but he’s even more scared that Joe didn’t. He needs to calm down, but when he sees Joe looking up at him with an encouraging smile, he knows he can do this.

“I think I’ll need a bit more space than that for my arse love,” he says jokingly.

“Shouldn’t have eaten so much desert,” Joe quips.

They’re both silent for a moment, and the wait is almost torturous. He turns to see that Joe is watching him, and he’s completely thrown. He can’t help but laugh, his nerves mixing with the alcohol he had consumed, and Joe joins him. 

Behind the camera, a man from Channel 4 has a clipboard in his hands, waiting for one of them to speak. Joe’s still laughing, so he turns to face the camera.

“I thought we both got on really well, don’t you think?”

Joe nods beside him, and leans in a little closer to Jack. He can’t help but wonder what they look like to the man opposite them.

“Do you think you’ll both see each other again after this?” the man asks.

They share a look again, although this time the laughter has died down. Jack’s head is reeling, and he’s not sure if he can get the words out. He’s scared to be rejected on TV of all places. Just as he’s convinced himself he’s going to die alone, Joe finally breaks the silence.

“I’d really like to see you again,” he says softly, watching Jack like they’re the only two in the room.

Jack’s stomach is doing somersaults, and he’s genuinely afraid that his heart might start thumping out of his chest, but he feels electric. “I’d like that too.”

When their eyes meet again, Jack’s whole face melts into soft butter.

**

It’s raining when they leave the restaurant, and they’re huddled together under the door as they say their goodbyes.

“Thank you for tonight,” Joe says. “I had a great time.”

“Me too,” Jack smiles, shyly. “Best date I’ve been on.”

“Wait until our second date,” Joe says, his turn to be the flirtatious one. 

“Sounds like you’re setting yourself a big challenge,” Jack smirks.

“I promise I won’t let you down,” Joe winks. And while the words are said in jest, Jack clings to them. It’s only been one date, but he’s in too deep.

Joe leans in to kiss his cheek, holding onto Jack lightly, and he can’t get over the intimacy of it all. The taxi pulls up, and he’s disappointed that the night has to end so soon. They swap phones to save their numbers, and leave with a promise of another night spent together.

Jack watches Joe make his way to the taxi, but Joe stops, before running back to him.

"I'm sorry, I just -" Joe pauses, before he leans in and kisses Jack.

It's perfect, the feeling of Joe's slightly chapped lips against his is nothing he could have prepared himself for. If he hadn't been so mesmerised byJoe before, there was no way he could turn back now. He inches apart, smiling brightly. "I've been waiting for you to do that ever since I first saw you."

Joe says his goodbyes, finally meaning them, and while Jack's sad the night has ended, he knows it's only the beginning.