#my beef with star wars is that I enjoy the original trilogy but

[c-rowlesdraws]

oohhhh, a new recommended 5-hour-long video about how the star wars franchise is overall repetitive and shallow... I too believe this, but, crucially: do I yet care enough about star wars to watch a 5-hour video about a star wars opinion that I already know I agree with going in...

[galadhir]

i think that there was a fanwriter named Nemis that wrote a lot of fics about E/C? i liked those fics!

My memory has never been good and after 20 years away it's completely unreliable, but still, that name rings a bell. I vaguely remember her being a nice person that I was aware of but never really interacted with because our areas of interest didn't quite intersect.

i hoped the show would give some spot to Celebrian … and instead. lol.

Indeed! I can just picture the show writers turning their noses up at the thought of writing Galadriel as a mother. She can't be a mother! Whoever heard of a mother being interesting? No one would think it was cool for Galadriel to be an actual queen and seasoned diplomat and seer, with a husband and a child.

Not to mention that Celebrian can't be interesting at all because she dies as a damsel in distress, so she must be a wimp all her life (ignoring the fact that everybody dies in distress.) People can't imagine that her life could have been interesting before that :( Sexism and failure of imagination again.

it would be interesting to see if anyone else had my idea … of course i have not read all the Galadriel/Celeborn fics out there so if someone has those, feel free to drop!

LOL! I'm sorry to end up dropping my own fics on you, but it sounds like you might enjoy my Oak and Willow

(Ignore all the tags, they were auto-imported from Henneth Annun when that archive backed up all its stories on Ao3 and then shut down.) And you can probably ignore chapters 1-4 if you're just in it for the C/G romance. They are world building for Doriath and setting up Celeborn's position in his home, with Thingol, Melian, Luthien and Daeron.

I originally started out intending this one to be a Sindarin history of the world, from the rising of the sun and the moon. But it rapidly became the story of C&G in the First Age. If I had known it was just going to be their love story against a backdrop of the events of the First Age, I might have left off chapter 1 at least, as that was setting up something I didn't actually write in the end.

But it is more or less what you're talking about. So if you're interested, you might like it :)

oh that's interesting, may i ask if it's still online? my beef with peter jackson started muuuuch later with the hobbit movies, but i like to see how other people reacted to the LOTR trilogy when it comes out

Yes, Battle of the Golden Wood is on Ao3 too - also imported from HASA (Henneth Annun Story Archive, which was the place to post elf fanfic back in the day.)

I agree with you about the Hobbit movies! Way too much bloat. There was the occasional nice thing in them - I enjoyed seeing Beorn's house and his bees, for example - but almost everything that PJ put in was grotesque and unfunny and unnecessary. The Hobbit would have made one great film, but there just isn't enough story in it to stretch to three.

as for what you say … i think that that's the current approach of Warner Bros, with its War of the Rohirrim stuff or whatever. i'm not enthusiast about it at all and i would probably complain about it too,

I know what you mean. I'm not enthusiastic either about a Rohirrim spin-off because it seems like they've picked the most low-effort story imaginable. Yes, you can use props from The Vikings and Game of Thrones. You can probably crib story lines from Bernard Cornwell's Anglo-Saxon stories. Have we not seen enough pseudo-early-medieval stories already?

I would have liked to see something we haven't seen before! (Which doesn't mean I won't at least check out the first season. But my hopes are not high.)

i do not want to be mean but btw i do have the feeling that a lot of rop fans are mostly migratory dark romance fans

Oh, the Reylo folks from Star Wars? That would actually make an awful lot of sense. They certainly behave like them. I managed to avoid them by being in the Kylux fandom at the time, and the Kylux fandom was numerous enough to just block them all and carry on doing our own thing regardless. Also a good time :)

it's lowkey … limitating? flattening? because neither galadriel nor sauron fit into this archetype and i do think that forcing them in this dynamic … just doesn't make them sauron and galadriel anymore? but i digress

I know exactly what you mean. I've mostly spent my fandom life in slash (m/m) fandom and there is a migratory slash fandom which is the same. If a pairing gets big enough then the msf will arrive and reduce it to a set of tropes and stereotypes, and then move on to the next big thing as soon as it arrives. In that case, you just have to wait for the next big thing and hope there is someone left still writing to pick up the fandom once they've gone.

Yeah at this point i do honestly wish that everyone can write its own retelling of lotr and publish it.

At least there is the opportunity for us to do it in Ao3, even if we're not allowed to make money on it. We can do it for love :)

Hoo, boy. I am definitely going to unfollow the Celeborn tag again, since it's full of Haladriel shippers arguing that Celeborn stans are harassing them.

I'm not getting into whether that's true. I have no interest in Rings of Power, and as far as I am concerned, Halbrand does not exist in Tolkien's world. I can't be somewhere where people mix Amazon's fanfiction with actual lore.

Also ship wars are not for me. I was a massive Celeborn defender during the release of the movies, and I wrote several novels worth of fanfic then. I think I'm spent.

Still, as a Celeborn fan I thought the Celeborn tag would be a great place to go to find stuff about Celeborn. How could I have been so foolish!

My poor lad! Not even his own tag is about him. Which is exactly what I should have expected, now I come to think about it.

[ladyxskywalker]

Do you think it's okay for Obi Wan to have mutliple stories written about him, as in more than one canon significant other? i feel like since SW is basically a franchise meant for stories to be retelled over and over again and here i am thinking about all those lovely writers who write self indulgent fics, about Obi or whomever else where he ends up happy and has love at last, is allowed to truly love and completely also.

What do you think? Do you think that "canon" is whatever works with your heart the best and how you feel about characters?

oh absolutely 🌸 ! & this is an excellent question to sit & ponder over when it comes to canon vs fanon, I imagine the stories told about him are (& certainly would be) endless ✨️

[I apologize in adv for going off topic like always 😭 me & my bro talk about this stuff a lot because he is from the original trilogy era]

In my eyes - Obi Wan (or any other fictional character) would ultimately have a canon story that was intended for them by the original writer. In their imagination, it's possible that he could have had either many great loves cross his path, or even none at all. Maybe even only mentor or close friend, 'frenemy', or enemy relationships.

In some shows or novels that have been written about him, sometimes different iterations may allude to certain relationships that could have happened in his universe. And if that resonates with you as a fan also, then that could be something truly wonderful to experience as well. Because then you're like - oh yes ! I can totally see that happening for him ! they should be together ! that's his soulmate !

Or the opposite of - oh no ! that's not him at all ! he deserves better ! why why why ?!

I firmly believe that 'canon' is whatever your heart desires, (which reminds me of mark hamill when talking about luke) your favorite comfort characters are however you most enjoy picturing them to be.

On the other hand, some fans are deeply rooted in a canon only stance - no exceptions. Which is totally valid & cool too - (no beef or gatekeeping from me).

My pov is different, I can take or leave some things because I have a really big imagination. I'd like to think that Obi Wan had many great loves over time - whether kept secret or expressed openly. While I don't really care too much for the character Satine for example, (& don't know very much about her), I could totally see him with other characters like Commander Cody or even Padmè at some point in space or time - even though those relationships weren't necessarily deemed as 'canon'.

Similar Star Wars relationships of canon vs legends or 'fanon' could also be said of Luke & Mara Jade, Han Solo & Princess Leia having different children than what we've seen in the movies, various comic book pairings, Poe Dameron & General / Jedi Finn ... even Ben Solo & Rey

If certain adventures only took place in a legends universe or a fanfic universe, does that mean it never really happened?

It happened for someone.

In a daydream, or in their hearts.

Personally, I truly do not think there is a right or wrong way of viewing the things you love - as long as you're not hurting anybody in the process, your comfort characters could be whoever you envision them to be - & that's one of the greatest things about escapism. It's rooted in who we are at our very core, & who we want to be in our hearts.

There's a super hero or jedi in all of us. And if that's a 'la di da mary sue hippie dippie' way of looking at it, I respectfully don't care what anyone else has to say about it ! 🌼

All the love from me to you always, I hope in some way all of this rambling answers your question ! 💗💐

[smokeybrandreviews]

Float On

The discourse around the new Kenobi show is very interesting to me. I am a massive fan of Star Wars but i wouldn’t say it’s one of the pillars of my childhood. Those are definitely Spider-Man, Godzilla, and Transformers. Star Wars is more a support beam, along with the Alien franchise. That said, i enjoy it enough to have a pretty solid hyperfixation with the lore. All of it. Particular the Legends stuff. What i am not a fan of, is the vast majority of what Disney has farted out under Kathleen Kennedy. I enjoyed The Force Awakens, Rogue One, and came around to Solo, but the rest of the movies are dog sh*t. I respect the first season of Mando because it was the first great Disney Star Wars entry, absolutely loved the second with all the callbacks to prime can ( I shill hard for Ahsoka Tano, man), and pretty much abandoned Boba Fett early on. Those two episodes of Mando III which got forced in there were pretty dope, though. So, as you can tell, it’s been a mixed bag for me. That said, my beef with these entries are definitely not what the loudest of disgruntled Star Wars fans are screeching about.

My frustration with Disney Star Wars is how poorly this sh*t is written. There is an extreme level of disrespect that runs through the new Lucasfilm and that is directly Kennedy’s influence. She’s been trying to alter the entire canon over some perceived slight, like she doesn’t get the credit she deserves for the success of Star Wars. Ma was a glorified coffee runner when these films were created but wants to change that narrative while sticking it to Lucas for telling the truth about her role. Everything i find frustrating narrative, can be traced back to the sycophant writers, spineless directors, and dismissive attitude of Kennedy, herself. And then Favloni came through with Mando and blew everything she has ever made out of the f*cking water. Mando is so good because the narrative is f*cking solid, man. It feels complete. It feels grandiose. It feels like Star Wars. Through the first three episodes of Kenobi, i see those same bones and it weird more people aren’t on this show like i am. Now, to address the major issues I've seen the fandom grip about:

Baby Leia is great. I can totally see this girl growing up into the Leia Organa that we all know and love. The actress, Vivien Lyra Blair, is doing a great job and she’s surprisingly not annoying like most child actors. The physicality is a struggle for her but she’s nine years old. Cut the kid some goddamn slack, you degenerates. Not everyone can be Chloe Moretz or Anna Paquin.

Reva isn’t that bad but she ain’t great either. Kenobi needs this type of foil before actually completing the Hero Journey he’s on. This is a story about how Kenobi finds his faith, finds his way back to the force after literal years of abandoning it after murdering his little brother. Reva is the perfect stop-gap between Old Ben and a Punished Obi-Wan. I imagine we’ll see the change in his dueling posture in this series or some sh*t to align it closer with what we got in the original trilogy to signify his reconciliation with the past.

The broken canon can easily be fixed. I don’t care for the breaks, themselves, as much as others but with good writing and a proper understanding of the lore, this sh*t can be corrected with a one sentence reveal. The Grand Inquisitor is dead in Kenobi but alive and well in Rebels? His people have two stomachs and Dark Side wielders have survived much worse. Vader exists. That man got dismembered and burned alive. Maul cut got in half and lived for another twenty years or some sh*t. There really aren't any egregious transgressions that can't be corrected by the end of this show. Stop spazzing out about them until we know for sure if they f*cked everything up.

It makes sense Kenobi is about Kenobi’s journey back to the force and not just him being a bad ass on Tatooine. Think about where we left the character. Kenobi defeated his brother, dismembered him, watched him burn alive. The Jedi fell. All of his Masters are dead. He literally has to go into hiding. This dude has lost everything he holds dear and the only thing good in his life is Luke, some one he's not even allowed to interact with. Kenobi is a broken man here. He's not the reassured Master he is in A New Hope. Dude is pathetic. That's the point. Its absurd to me that  so many people have missed that point.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is really good. It's easily one of the best things Disney Star Wars has ever produced and people are letting it fall by the wayside because of outside issues. It's a lot like Secrets of Dumbledore that. I'm not here to defend Kennedy' mess or slight the responsibility she holds for marginalizing a once beautiful franchise but Kenobi is not The Last Jedi. It's not Rise of Skywalker. It's not The High Republic or The Acolyte. Does it have it's problems? Sure. But er are three episodes into a six episode narrative and this sh*t ain't coming out of Kennedy's Writer's Room. This is Feloni and Favreu. This is the team that brought us Mando and Clone Wars. Boba Fett left us all wanting, true, but Obi-Wan is much better than that. Give the thing a chance before casting it out as “woke” and “feminist” or whatever buzzwords we're losing to denigrate sh*t out of Kennedy's Lucasfilm. Not everything is trash just because she sits in the big chair.

[fizzingwizard]

I’m gonna talk Star Wars.

I been told there’s a bunch of drama (mostly shipping related?) going down RN so let me be clear, I don’t have time for that. This is the opinion of a casual fan (EXTREMELY casual fan), who doesn’t engage with Star Wars outside of the movies, and doesn’t think about it in between releases. I don’t know Star Wars lore and I don’t care. And I definitely don’t care who you ship/who you hate/what BNF was a jerk to you/yadda yadda seen it all before hun.

I know a leeeeeeetle bit more about the outer Star Wars universe now thanks to The Mandalorian, which I love to pieces, and which reminded me why I loved the original trilogy more than any of the sequel/prequel movies ever did. Mandalorian has a way of bringing the fun along with the drama and the action.

Anyway so here’s a random fan’s messy, undeveloped thoughts a month after finally seeing TRoS.

Honestly my beef with it is this: Finn. I loved TFA because of Finn. Because of Rey too - and Poe - but mainly I stan Finn. Because I just think Storm Trooper-turned-Rebel is too fucking awesome.

And the way he was depicted - not some cold hard killer, not some unfeeling robot who needs to relearn empathy - but someone with an inner kindness and sense of justice. That was so unexpected. I never dreamed up a Storm Trooper defecting, let alone one who defected because he’s just too damn human to be programmed into the perfect soldier.

And I feel like... the movies ended Finn’s story there. In the first movie. It’s like they had this great, captivating idea - “what if a Storm Trooper joined the rebels?” - and then had no follow up for it, but did it anyway. He’s got some cool moments in the other movies, of course he does. But, idk. I just thought it was all gonna have more of an impact. It really became Rey’s trilogy, and I suppose it was from the start, but I thought there’d be a bit more sharing.

Finn > Kylo Ren. Not a ship thing, just a “which character do you want to know more about?” thing. For me that was definitely Finn. And I feel like this is a theme in my life? I join a fandom and instantly fall for the character who to me seems to have a bunch of potential and an awesome personality, but the writers don’t take them where I’d hoped, and instead shunt them aside to focus on exploring some brooding edgelord.

I get that redemption stories are powerful and I like an anti-hero as much as anyone else. Actually, I loved Rey being someone with the ability to raise Kylo up. I don’t hate Kylo Ren at all and I always expected him to come back to the light side at least to a certain degree (I was almost wrong, judging by the scrapped script, but in the end they did what I figured they would). After all, he’s Han and Leia’s kid, he must have light in him somewhere - and writers bank on audiences getting excited over the question of how he’d rediscover it, and whether it’d be in time (considering the atrocities he’d been involved in already, “in time�� has a very vague meaning).

I don’t hate Kylo and Rey facing The Big Bad together in the end, although I did think it was a little "isn’t this the sort of story I liked to read in middle school?” But yeah, it was too predictable to be disappointing.

What was a huge disappointment was that Finn wasn’t there too. I know he was off being awesome with Poe but I really REALLY don’t think that’s where he needed to be. He’s fucking force sensitive. Let him use the force!!

What I wish had happened was, when Rey does her “I must face him alone” thing and winds up cut off from Finn and Poe and has to deal with Kylo - Finn should’ve gone too. There should have been some other way, even an extremely difficult one, where he goes after her. Means Poe goes back alone, but Poe’s also got a subplot of his own that doesn’t have room for two. He’s got to take the lead in a seemingly unwinnable battle and that’s the sort of thing that is even more heart-wrenching when your friends are absent and in trouble themselves somewhere else. Poe seems to like Rey in TRoS, but he’s also frustrated by her. Poe’s heart is with the war. Where’s Finn’s heart? I think it’s with both Rey and the war, but I think Rey should have gotten precedence. After all, we just finished establishing that Finn is NOT the perfect soldier. He does what he wants. There ought to be huge potential for Finn to grapple with light or dark himself, but I guess... no?

Rey could have had her little tete-a-tete with Kylo all by themselves while Finn’s out struggling to get to her and taking a long time. I just needed him to join them before the end. Be the unpredictable element. Finn doesn’t have a spiritual connection with Kylo Ren. Finn has no reason to trust him. What if Finn showed up right when Kylo’s blown back to his death in that crevice and has the chance either to save him or let him fall? Either way, we could still have Kylo’s spirit coming back to breathe life back into Rey. Preferably while Finn’s holding her. I guess then there’d be less kissing, though. :) I’m okay with that.

I don’t hate Kylo/Rey as a ship. It’s a normal ship tbh. Everyone likes the bad guy. Wolverine fucks Mystique every chance he gets and how about that girl who fell head over heels for Khan in the original Star Trek? For Wolvie I’m not sure if it’s a complex thing or just lust anymore, but he always comes back to the X-men. Khan girl left with Khan, but only after saving the Enterprise from him. Good guy/bad guy ships can got all sorts of unexpected ways, no one really expects she’ll be straightening his tie on his way off to his perfectly normal white collar job while she stays home with their adorable, Force sensitive child and promises him he’ll get lucky if he’s home on time. (I’d love to say Rey/Kylo Ren is doing more than just capitalizing on that dynamic but uh, I think it’s too late for that.)

But that doesn’t (shouldn’t!) mean that story comes at the expense of everyone else’s story. It could be more powerful, not less, with a third player. Or even a fourth. Instead they drew a line between Rey & Kylo/ Finn & Poe and sent them in different directions. That might have been fine with me, as much as I wanted Finn to help Rey, if both storylines had been equally powerful. But they weren’t! One was just a war! It had lots of cameos and lots of typical “we’re losing! wait! there’s an entire fleet of ships beyond those clouds!” moments. At the time I turned to my BF and said “Forth Riders of Rohan!”

Like come on.

I enjoyed the movie. It just left such a pile of could-have-beens behind that it really cuts back on that enjoyment.

IMO, they should have done something different in TLJ. If they’d set things up for this movie more in TLJ, I might not feel so cheated. It’s almost like you can just skip TLJ and just watch the first and third to get the story here. And speaking of TLJ, I haven’t mentioned Rose, and it’s only because 1) yeah she deserved so much better! and 2) I can barely even remember her, because she had the misfortune of being introduced in TLJ, which has now been rendered only semi-relevant, and then was for the most part absent in TRoS. Another missed opportunity. It’s like the writers went “Let’s introduce a character who’s just gone through a war-related trauma and continues in fight in that same war, because that sort of strength resonates with people! But like with Finn we’re not gonna bother creating any follow-up to that so her entire story will pretty much be over as soon as you meet her.”

Big fat MEH to all of this.

But for all the disappointments, I still LOVE Finn/Rey/Poe. I love it the same way I loved Luke/Leia/Han. The fun is there, the camaraderie is there - the stuff that makes you give a damn when bad things happen to them is there. The beginning of TRoS that gave us Finn, Rey, and Poe wandering around together was my favorite bit since Rey flew Han’s ship. The dynamic was almost the same as the original trio. It was almost there, it was so close I could taste it.

Mandalorian, you’ve managed to win back my heart to the fandom. I’m counting on you!

[smokeybrand]

Float On

The discourse around the new Kenobi show is very interesting to me. I am a massive fan of Star Wars but i wouldn’t say it’s one of the pillars of my childhood. Those are definitely Spider-Man, Godzilla, and Transformers. Star Wars is more a support beam, along with the Alien franchise. That said, i enjoy it enough to have a pretty solid hyperfixation with the lore. All of it. Particular the Legends stuff. What i am not a fan of, is the vast majority of what Disney has farted out under Kathleen Kennedy. I enjoyed The Force Awakens, Rogue One, and came around to Solo, but the rest of the movies are dog sh*t. I respect the first season of Mando because it was the first great Disney Star Wars entry, absolutely loved the second with all the callbacks to prime can ( I shill hard for Ahsoka Tano, man), and pretty much abandoned Boba Fett early on. Those two episodes of Mando III which got forced in there were pretty dope, though. So, as you can tell, it’s been a mixed bag for me. That said, my beef with these entries are definitely not what the loudest of disgruntled Star Wars fans are screeching about.

My frustration with Disney Star Wars is how poorly this sh*t is written. There is an extreme level of disrespect that runs through the new Lucasfilm and that is directly Kennedy’s influence. She’s been trying to alter the entire canon over some perceived slight, like she doesn’t get the credit she deserves for the success of Star Wars. Ma was a glorified coffee runner when these films were created but wants to change that narrative while sticking it to Lucas for telling the truth about her role. Everything i find frustrating narrative, can be traced back to the sycophant writers, spineless directors, and dismissive attitude of Kennedy, herself. And then Favloni came through with Mando and blew everything she has ever made out of the f*cking water. Mando is so good because the narrative is f*cking solid, man. It feels complete. It feels grandiose. It feels like Star Wars. Through the first three episodes of Kenobi, i see those same bones and it weird more people aren’t on this show like i am. Now, to address the major issues I've seen the fandom grip about:

Baby Leia is great. I can totally see this girl growing up into the Leia Organa that we all know and love. The actress, Vivien Lyra Blair, is doing a great job and she’s surprisingly not annoying like most child actors. The physicality is a struggle for her but she’s nine years old. Cut the kid some goddamn slack, you degenerates. Not everyone can be Chloe Moretz or Anna Paquin.

Reva isn’t that bad but she ain’t great either. Kenobi needs this type of foil before actually completing the Hero Journey he’s on. This is a story about how Kenobi finds his faith, finds his way back to the force after literal years of abandoning it after murdering his little brother. Reva is the perfect stop-gap between Old Ben and a Punished Obi-Wan. I imagine we’ll see the change in his dueling posture in this series or some sh*t to align it closer with what we got in the original trilogy to signify his reconciliation with the past.

The broken canon can easily be fixed. I don’t care for the breaks, themselves, as much as others but with good writing and a proper understanding of the lore, this sh*t can be corrected with a one sentence reveal. The Grand Inquisitor is dead in Kenobi but alive and well in Rebels? His people have two stomachs and Dark Side wielders have survived much worse. Vader exists. That man got dismembered and burned alive. Maul cut got in half and lived for another twenty years or some sh*t. There really aren't any egregious transgressions that can't be corrected by the end of this show. Stop spazzing out about them until we know for sure if they f*cked everything up.

It makes sense Kenobi is about Kenobi’s journey back to the force and not just him being a bad ass on Tatooine. Think about where we left the character. Kenobi defeated his brother, dismembered him, watched him burn alive. The Jedi fell. All of his Masters are dead. He literally has to go into hiding. This dude has lost everything he holds dear and the only thing good in his life is Luke, some one he's not even allowed to interact with. Kenobi is a broken man here. He's not the reassured Master he is in A New Hope. Dude is pathetic. That's the point. Its absurd to me that  so many people have missed that point.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is really good. It's easily one of the best things Disney Star Wars has ever produced and people are letting it fall by the wayside because of outside issues. It's a lot like Secrets of Dumbledore that. I'm not here to defend Kennedy' mess or slight the responsibility she holds for marginalizing a once beautiful franchise but Kenobi is not The Last Jedi. It's not Rise of Skywalker. It's not The High Republic or The Acolyte. Does it have it's problems? Sure. But er are three episodes into a six episode narrative and this sh*t ain't coming out of Kennedy's Writer's Room. This is Feloni and Favreu. This is the team that brought us Mando and Clone Wars. Boba Fett left us all wanting, true, but Obi-Wan is much better than that. Give the thing a chance before casting it out as “woke” and “feminist” or whatever buzzwords we're losing to denigrate sh*t out of Kennedy's Lucasfilm. Not everything is trash just because she sits in the big chair.

[dunesand]

i saw rogue one with @hugecheeto!!!! thoughts and spoilers!!!

overall the pacing of the movie was fine and the main characters were ok. however i have major beef with a lot of the world building and some of the creative choices they made hmmm!!!1

one of the things i cant stand about the newer movies is the lack of alien species? one of the most attractive parts of the original trilogy+prequels was the vast universe and interesting characters that we’d see in the backgrounds. they werent important to the story, but visually they were all so fun and unique and made you feel as though the universe was like...full of life other than humans? one of the main beefs i had with this movie was that you saw some aliens that had really bland and unoriginal designs to where some just looked like stunted humans? where’s the...color....... like the first alien you see is the one ursa wakes up to, and it’s almost like a big, “HEY, LOOK!!! WE’RE IN SPACE!!! THERE’S AN ALIEN!!” and then after that the aliens we see are like...barely there. the marketplace scenes in towns is especially disappointing?? like...i see weird mask designs and turbans and cloth and wraps and don’t get me wrong that can look unique and interesting and im all about that aesthetic, but comparing that to the richness of different shapes and designs of aliens in other movies i was unimpressed like wow....figures that have normal humanoid shapes in lots of clothing like...it really leaves very little to the imagination. the lack of older aliens bothered me too like...where the hell is everyone. wow i see a mon calamarian, a single twilek, and ponda once. the aliens in this movie lacked such interesting designs, shapes, and colors. 

one of the things that drew me to star wars was that it was first and foremost, a space opera with it’s cheesy drama and campiness from time to time. making it so gritty makes me see the trend in movies that have been coming out lately especially with a lot of the super hero movies. life has...color and uniqueness, and especially in a sci-fi fantasy universe there are no limits.

i think the big part that made me groan and go man was world building even talked about was when they landed on the final planet scariff and i saw palm trees like

lmao really. especially coming from a series especially if youve watched the clone wars series, where writers and artists create millions of different kinds of plant life and unique world landscapes and i get palm trees at a beach. we jumped from planet to planet in the movie but most of the landscapes we saw were so unimpressive. why even do that show me that when most of the planets i went to were just big empty boring landscapes.  it makes me really appreciate all the work and creativity that was put into all the movies before with all the intricate details they put into every world we visited. 

im not saying it’s all bad. the original characters were good, again the pacing was fine, and i really really am enjoying the diverse cast and representation shown nowadays for humans, it’s really fantastic. k2so is my favorite guy now and donnie yen’s role made me tear up like crazy.

i think what makes me feel like it’s lacking in is the world itself. i dont feel like im in a galaxy far far away now. sure i get the occasional starship battles and cameo’s, blaster fights with the familar noises and funny easter eggs here and there, but nothing around the world itself makes me wonder or want to know about the universe? the story involving the main characters is great we know, but if the world they’re traveling in is bland and empty, how will support the concept of such a rich and expansive galaxy and universe we know star wars to be? storm troopers, darth vaper, the rebel x-wings yeah i get it’ that’s star wars. but what really made me fall in love with star wars was how rich and colorful the world itself was.

should you go watch the movie? yeah by all means. im a huge die hard star wars fan and i had a blast watching it. i cried a lot and it was really exciting to see the story of how the death star plans made it to yavin 4. im just nitpicking about the creative choices and cause im a big whiny baby about this series.

tldr; my brother and i liked the movie but feel like the world is empty and it’s a big gray splotch when it comes to aliens+alien culture as well as the landscapes and environments leaving very little to the imagination.

[daleisgreat]

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Now it is time for the film I have been dreading to cover the most of the quadrilogy of Indiana Jones adventures and yes I am talking about Indy’s return to the big screen after a 19 year absence with 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (trailer). For new readers you can catch up on my posts for the original trilogy by clicking right here. When it originally released it was the only film in the franchise I vividly recall seeing in its entirety on release week. I recall walking out of that film irate because of a few gut-wrenching cornball scenes I will touch on later, and also because it featured Shia LaBeouf in one of the lead roles of the film fresh off his ultra-annoying performance in the first Transformers film. Needless to say I recall being furious anytime Shia’s mug appeared onscreen. This was 11 years ago however, so it was interesting revisiting this with a fresh set of eyes. Before I continue bear with me for a quick sidebar. I specifically recall Crystal Skull being the last film playing in what was once the featured theater in my town throughout my childhood. The good ‘ol Columbia 4 was the place where I waited in long lines for tickets to see family blockbusters like Home Alone, D2: The Mighty Ducks, Beethoven and Major League II. Later in the 90s a 10-plex opened, and in 2007 a 15-plex debuted which was the catalyst for the Columbia 4 turning into second run $1 theater a couple months later. For the next several months I caught at least two movies a month there and would chance anything for a $1 but felt something was amiss when the only movie they had playing on all four screens for its last three weeks was Crystal Skull until they finally locked their doors. I miss $1 movies and I hope we get another second-run theater again someday.

Back on track, Crystal Skull opens with Indy (Harrison Ford) and his colleague Mac (Ray Winstone) being thrown out of a trunk by the Soviet KGB. Yes, Indy is no longer squaring off against Nazis in the 1930s, but now communists in 1957. The standard thrilling opening chase sequence transpires with Indy evading peril once again, but with the Russians constantly on his tail. Not all is well for Indy back home as his latest capers leads to his dismissal from his longtime professor job at the university, but he has a hot tip for this film’s self-titled Magoffin, a legendary Crystal Skull. This leads Indy to meeting up with one Mutt Williams (Shia LeBeouf) for more info on the Skull’s whereabouts, and that leads the pair to tracking down the kidnapped duo of Indy’s former pal, Dr. Oxley (John Hurt) and Mutt’s mom Marion (Karen Allen). The Russians are led by one Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), who has some hinted psychological gifts early on, but that part of her persona is quickly brushed aside and she is essentially one of the weaker Indy antagonists. Mac is pretty amusing though with his constant double-crossing. Sadly, Sean Connery does not return to reprise his role as Indy Sr. as Connery stated in interviews at the time he was already a few years into his acting retirement and enjoying it too much to return to the screen, but there is a nice quick little tribute to him here. After re-watching the original trilogy and now having 100% reverence for Marion’s role in Raiders, I was thrilled to see her return this time around. Her chemistry with Ford does not miss a beat and the two shine together whenever they share a scene after Marion’s introduction halfway into the film. Some of my original qualms was Ford obviously being too old to make a return to all the swashbuckling action the series is famous for as he was 65 when Crystal Skull was filmed. Ford must have had some bizarre combination of good makeup and training, because he comes off as barely spry enough to pull off most of the vintage Indy acrobatics and I was further stunned to see the interviews claim how he did most of his own stunts to boot. Being many years removed from the dreck of the original Transformers trilogy also helped re-watching this as I was able to give Shia’s performance a now un-biased perspective and I was legit surprised LeBeouf actually pulled off a pretty good outing as the greaser, Mutt Williams.

Most of the requisite chases and swashbuckling action scenes of Crystal Skull hold up surprisingly well. As a matter of fact nearly halfway through the film I jotted down in my notes in all caps ‘THIS IS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD SO FAR.’ There are still a few instances that are big asterisks where Crystal Skull does not tiptoe over the wrong side of the line of groan-inducing, hokey moments, it straight up jumps the shark on them. The first instance is a jeep chase that was going well until monkeys and vine swinging gets involved and it instantly took me right out of the moment. The second moment was when Indy and crew all survive a mammoth waterfall drop and instantly all of them walk right out of it without even a scratch. I would be a fool at this point not to point out the elephant in the room in what is the most ridiculous jump the shark moment in cinema history….really….when Indiana…..I am not kidding….survives a nuclear blast on a testing ground by hiding in a lead-lined fridge and to rub salt in the wounds walking out of it WITHOUT EVEN A SCRATCH OR DROP OF BLOOD (SERIOUSLY, CLICK HERE TO RELIVE THIS ABSURDITY)!!! For that last instance it knocks the bonkers ball right out of the park and I can almost give Spielberg and Lucas a pass for being brazen enough to include it in here…almost.

My final gripe with Crystal Skull is how the final act plays out. I remembered enough bits and pieces of the original trilogy going into my first viewing of the fourth film to expect some supernatural material, and the inclusion of it is not what bothered me, but how it is pulled off is. When Spalko gets her just-deserts upon her inappropriate handling of the Crystal Skull, the way the CG-affair plays out is way too over the top to be taken seriously and get on the edge of my seat for like in previous films. This is also the first Indy film in the HD-era and Lucas already had the polarizing Star Wars prequels under his belt which featured the latest and greatest CG so it is baffling how silly the CG alien spectacle is executed. On the bonus features disc of the BluRay set there is only one extra specific to Crystal Skull and that is Making of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It runs just under a half hour and it does a good job interviewing Lucas, Spielberg and Ford on how the fourth film came to be and how it is an ode to the 1950s alien invasion B-movies like how the original trilogy was an homage to 1930s serials. I checked out the last several bonus features on the extras disc that run 10-12 minutes each to round off all the bonus content I had not seen yet. These shorter extras cover the filming locations, the leading women of the films, and post production. They are all well done, but of them the only one I would recommend would be the extra containing excerpts from a panel interviewing the three lead women of the movies that looked like it was shot shortly after The Last Crusade. The actresses are interviewed in the other bonuses, but it is nice to see them shine on their own here and give more insight and anecdotes than the other interviews.

For those interested in one more extra not contained on the set, the Cinemassacre crew did another recent video debating on whether Temple of Doom or Crystal Skull is the worst Indiana Jones film you can check out by clicking here. If it was not for these guys making these videos in the last few weeks it would have taken me several months to get around to covering the last two Indy films so kudos to them for driving me to get to them sooner than later. As far as which of those two films do I rank as the inferior Jones caper, I would have to rank Temple of Doom at the bottom. As I detailed in my entry for Temple of Doom, I had a lot of beef with it and the only parts I cared for were the opening sequence and the final mine-cart and rope-bridge scenes which only tallied up to about a quarter of the film. For Crystal Skull however my opinion of it turned a complete 180. Yes, I detailed four major gripes above with the film, but those are my only noteworthy problems and other aspects of the fourth film aged better than I could have imagined and I was on board for around two-thirds of the film! I still would rank it as only my third favorite of the series behind Raiders and Last Crusade being my standout favorite, but Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will likely be the only movie in the history of this blog that I had a positive 180 change of opinion on. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Days of Future Past

[talkingwithburritospodcast]

Solo is The Ultimate George Lucas Clapback - TWB81

Solo is an entertaining movie and could possibly be more to audiences if we could accept him --the individual, Solo-- as the main character rather than a sidekick who just so happens to be the baby daddy to certain Skywalker progeny. This movie isn't necessary to the canon, however, has the potential to payout and entertaining storyline if we care to wait for forthcoming sequels.

People “riding’ Solo for the all wrong reasons.

Solo is not a bad film, only unnecessary to the storyline we already know exists of the infamous Hans Solo of the first trilogy. Han has redeemable qualities and that just does not work for a scoundrel. This is a lawless land. Let us witness its lawlessness. Go raw. Go dark. Surprise the audience with a captivating story of a criminal who is a criminal.

Rogue One is a far better film than Solo.

The mission was to take down the Destroyer by any means necessary. The stakes were such that no one would survive. There was an ending to that tale, whereas, with Solo there is more to beget. The story continues without fulfilling a need to expose Solo for who he and not what he became after his adventures with the Skywalkers.

Solo as a summer tentpole movie: meant to entertain.

There just isn’t much importance to this film in relation to the current Star Wars Saga, however, if my theory suggests then maybe this explains the origins of a newly birthed Star Wars legend.

Is there still such a thing as a summer tentpole with one studio dominating the market. Disney has a gambit of films debuting this summer. Every other studio fails in its comparison. Investing in preexisting titles and not taking a chance on original not-so-sure-shots drys the well dampened by only one studio entity, Disney.

Early May and April are too early for summer releases.

Summer movies start early, in April. June is the true beginnings of the Summer film season. Actually, it’s always been Memorial Day. Here are my expectations and movies I look forward to watching this summer.

Scoop du Jour: The Preordain Clapback.

Why you should always have a plan of retaliation in social media beef.

Links mention in this episode:

This video of the Loch Ness monster is nothing to swoon over. 

George Lucas wanted to go all metaphysical with the Jedi sequels. 

This video of the Loch Nessmonster is nothing to swoon over.

George Lucaswanted to go all metaphysical with the Jedi sequels.

It started with Pusha T's Infrared. Got serious with Drake's Duppy Freestyle, and ended with the Story of Adidon. How much more cinematic can you get?

Cryptoid of the Week:

There has been another siting of a Loch Ness log.

Flava Text: Never trust anyone.

We're always open for suggestions and/or a favorable comment

But Machete don'ttweet. Okay, well leave us a voicemail or email:

Phone 520-775-1690

Email contact@talkingwithburritos.com

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  Talking With Burritos Presents A New Episode!

[sumukhcomedy]

“The Next Karate Kid” Is Terrible But It’s Fine That It Exists

I've never watched Doctor Who in my life. It's pretty surprising given that I grew up on a lot of British television and appreciate it but I now just feel too exhausted to catch up with it. I'm lost as to what it is fully about and when scrolling through my News Feed late at night have admittedly quickly confused Peter Capaldi for Skip Bayless. But when it was announced that Jodie Whittaker would play the 13th Doctor (I had no idea there had been 12), the uproar that Doctor Who could be a woman yet again brought upon this now repetitive and frankly stupid rage over gender in casting led by men who apparently have fulfilled nothing further in life than the pop culture they embraced as children.

When I was a child, I loved many TV shows and movies, one of which was The Karate Kid. It is my favorite trilogy with the first film being a brilliant 80s movie, the second being acceptable, and the third being so absurdly bad that it is hilariously entertaining. I could go into it further but Bill Simmons already did many years ago.

In 1994, for reasons that are unclear to anyone, it was decided by the powers that be to make The Next Karate Kid. Mr. Miyagi now assists the granddaughter of his World War II commanding officer in dealing with her anger issues and teenage angst through the amazing power of karate. I suppose as a fan of The Karate Kid I could have been angry that a girl was now fulfilling the role of “karate kid” once mastered by Ralph Macchio. I was 9 years old when the movie was released so my immaturity could have been an excuse. But I didn't even care back then. It was a different movie and cool to see The Karate Kid back in some form so I was willing to check it out when it came out on video.

                                              This photo is adorable.

The Next Karate Kid is a terrible movie. It's not even terrible in an enjoyable way like The Karate Kid Part III. Even at the age of 10, I found it bad. I gave it a second chance again some 15 years ago and haven't touched it since so I apologize if my memory is foggy. I think there was some karate, a hawk, Buddhist monks, and yes, this just sounds horrible based solely off that. I hesitate to watch it again but probably will after writing this. The main point here is that the film was completely unnecessary but now sits as the 4th film in my The Karate Kid DVD collection which only gets played when I accidentally put in the 2-sided DVD incorrectly when trying to watch The Karate Kid Part III.

But someone made the decision that The Next Karate Kid was a good idea. They made that decision out of their own interests as creators and by the feeling that it would make them money. No one makes any decision related to pop culture without believing that it will lead to a profit. They think about the fans but only the fans as dollar figures. What they saw of The Next Karate Kid wasn't an uproar or backlash because we were in a pre-Internet era but rather a complete indifference. Perhaps that was based on gender, perhaps it was on the fact that the first film had come out 10 years earlier and maybe that generation had grown up and was simply done with these films, and perhaps it was the fact that the movie is just not good and so no word of mouth spread for it of those who did see it when it was released.

Years later, Will Smith and a group of other producers remade The Karate Kid starring his son, Jaden, and Jackie Chan. Sure, as a fan of The Karate Kid, I was disappointed to hear this believing in advance that such a remake could never live up to the original. I'm sure there were other Karate Kid fans that were louder on the Internet voicing their displeasure and likely even bringing race or now the use of Kung Fu in the movie as an issue. But rather than get angry, I just have yet to even watch this remake even though it's been 7 years since its release. I don't particularly have an interest in it. Nevertheless, the movie earned $360 million at the box office against a $40 million budget so Hollywood won. And, it opened The Karate Kid as a franchise to a new generation who would hopefully revisit the Macchio/Morita combination that I so enjoyed.

Other than the obvious misogyny and racism that likely comes up from certain fans of pop culture when casting decisions are made with their favorite childhood TV shows, comic books, and movies, there's also seemingly a disconnect in understanding that this is a money business first and foremost and that something fictional is not meant to be rigidly followed. The major excuses tend to be that these adaptations must stick to the original goals of the creator as if we necessarily know for a fact what the original goals of the creator were (I assure you that at least one of those original goals was making money) and that somehow whatever decision is being made tarnishes the legacy of that TV show, book series, or movie.

To give a completely separate example, I once became annoyed by a restaurant in Columbus that won “Favorite Indian Restaurant” because they had several beef dishes on their menu. To me, a true Indian restaurant wouldn't serve beef because of the country's Hindu history and that beef is just not served as part of the cuisine. But my friend, Andy, pointed out to me that there does not need to be some sort of emphasis on authenticity to prove value or that a cuisine could not be open to change. To me, he was right. Indian cuisine had entered the United States and it could be taken to different or other levels by implementing American ideas into it. If beef dishes made Americans more likely to eat Indian food and it did taste really good, then how was that a bad thing?

To say that legacies of anything could be tarnished, we also have to realize that years pass and the bad portions when not notoriously bad tend to be forgotten. We see this in sports with an example like Michael Jordan whose return to the Washington Wizards was mostly not a reflection of his dominance as a player. But, now 15 years later, no one sits around saying that Jordan's time with the Wizards totally destroyed him being considered the greatest basketball player ever or screw up his accomplishments with the Chicago Bulls. More in the realm of entertainment, the uproar over Heath Ledger's casting as The Joker looks ridiculous now given how amazing the performance was. The point here is that our concerns over history or a legacy of anything mostly don't matter and years later the best is all that is remembered and, additionally, if we were to rely on Internet uproar to dictate our thought, then some of the most praised work may have never been created to begin with.

The casting of a girl as The Karate Kid didn't affect me negatively at 10 and it doesn't affect me now at 32 as a Karate Kid fan. In fact, at both ages, I hoped it would be a good movie. It unfortunately is not. But, maybe, there are some people out there that liked it. Maybe there were girls who watched it at my age that got some inspiration or could relate to Hilary Swank's character, Julie Pierce.  And, if so, that's good. Whatever anger could have been potentially expressed towards The Next Karate Kid at the time doesn't even matter now. It's part of The Karate Kid's history but also just forgettable for me personally. Nevertheless, I'm fine that existed because it may have had some good effect on someone.  

As a man and a lover of pop culture, it's simply becoming tiresome to watch a woman be cast in anything and have apparently the dumbest and most sheltered of men lose their minds over it. I have no stake in Doctor Who but I've seen Jodie Whittaker in Broadchurch and thought her acting was superb. So I'm sure she'll be great for whatever Doctor Who fans hope for. But even if she doesn't and it doesn't live up to whatever backwards male pop culture standards someone has, it has no particular effect on you. If you allow yourself to be open-minded and patient and also realize none of an individual's creation is specifically about you and your expectations, you tend to enjoy pop culture a lot more.

Allow what is created to be judged and judge it by its merits. If you allow for that, then you can appreciate an artistic world where The Next Karate Kid stinks but Hilary Swank goes on to win two Oscars, easily becoming the most acclaimed actor ever in The Karate Kid franchise.