#my ass'd rather lose sleep over things that don't work

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

If anyone wants a good depiction of what depression does to your head and their own experience isn't enough for them, picture this:

My mom mentioned she heard of a job at a Dinosaur exhibition building, whatever those are called and you are supposed to recite 10 lines to everyone coming in. They are currently looking for someone who also speaks German cause many German tourists visit it and so far they had only English speakers, so she was basically saying that to my sister. I didn't hear what the job was, at first, but the idea of working at such place sounded fun so I joked like "Can I go?" and my mother instantly went "Do you want to? *^*" and I was like naah, I'm just playing and then both of them starting saying how easy it is and that I could memorize 10 German sentences for the job I don't need to speak the language etc. And I was like yeah so I wake up every morning, take the bus, go to work, recite 10 sentences per person and come back home. Fun. And if some German tourist wishes to ask me sth as they get in I answer "I'm sorry I don't really speak the language that was rehearsed.". And they said that's 1200 euros a month and that they'd both go and then my sister says well if I was as pressed to leave this place as you always say you are, I'd do anything thrown at me, but if one wants to find an excuse for everything they will find an excuse for everything. After that, let me tell you, I didn't want to go work there even to try, out of spite.