#my anxiety has got to me badly lately

[rainparadefromhell]

had a really bad anxiety attack earlier today then it went away and i was fine and now i've gone back to feeling anxious and i'm trying to calm myself down.

anxiety is the worst feeling in the world and for me when i feel like there was no trigger or if the trigger was subconscious, it's exceptionally cruel. you just end up wanting so desperately to blame it on something and not feel crazy bc your brain is acting up and can't process stress.

my heart goes out to everyone struggling with this shit, no one knows how painful it is especially if it's severe. i'm really passionate abt this bc i've struggled/still struggle so much and i want this to be a place where ppl with similar experiences can feel understood and seen. a lot of ppl are not understanding bc they can't imagine how we feel. you do not need to just "get over it". it's not how it works.

pls remember you are also not your anxiety, even if it takes up so much of your life.

you're not broken. you're not less than. you're not a burden.

take care of yourselves ♥

[wsoc-gay]

World Cup Results II

Part 1

Ona Batlle x Reader

Summary: The beginning of Ona's Pregnancy

A/N: At least one more part to this of the pregnancy, might continue it after the baby too. But if anyone has a request please feel free to put it in my asks! I work much better and faster with ideas. I'm open to writing anything, smut, fluff, angst, kid fics, just let me know what you want to read!

You and Ona couldn’t be more excited on the drive home from the clinic. Neither of you could wipe the smiles off your faces as your hands were held together and rested in your girlfriend’s lap. The entire ride home was full of loving sentiments exchanged to one another and plenty of blushes being spread across faces. 

Arriving home began your new train in following the advice from the doctor as closely as possible as well as going a bit overboard. Your girlfriend was starting to get annoyed with you, but even she would admit it was sweet how caring you were. Ona never opened her car door, never lifted anything too heavy, didn’t carry her bags to training, and you hardly let her do household chores. Every night for dinner you cooked a meal full of all the proper nutrients the doctors had advised eating and made sure to buy Ona only the best prenatal vitamins.

You both had agreed to not tell your teammates until you reached the 15-week mark, until then Ona didn’t have to alter her trainings and could still play in games. You had let the coaching staff and medical staff know as soon as you found out so they could monitor the Spaniard closer, but as of now you wanted to keep it on a need-to-know basis.  

It was around the 8-week mark, right after the first ultrasound, that some of your teammates began to catch on that something was happening. Any slight bump or tackle Ona took during training led to you sprinting to be by her side checking up on her. The brunette found it sweet but needed you to let up a little bit before they had to tell your team sooner than expected. 

Your worries weren’t without their reason, the chance of miscarriage was drastically higher through IVF and until Ona was outside her first trimester you had every right to worry. The days leading up to your 8-week scan were some of the most stressful days in your recent memory. You and Ona both were worried sick about having the scan show that you had lost your baby.

Ona was more stressed than you were due to her late-night research of her symptoms which often times resulted in her reading many horror stories of parents going to the first ultrasound and finding no heartbeat. The internet on top of her raging hormones led to many tearful nights where you tried to alleviate her fears but knew that the only thing to help the brunette’s anxiety would be seeing your baby. 

Thankfully one day after training the two of you were able to go to the clinic for the scan and see your baby for the first time. Tears immediately came to both of your eyes as the doctor told you your baby was not only alive, but healthy and thriving inside your girlfriend. You weren’t one to cry, but Ona made a comment that she thinks you’ll be a mess at every ultrasound, and you couldn’t help, but agree. There was something about seeing your baby on that screen that made everything seem more real. Therefore, the attentiveness only got worse.

Your English teammates were the first to confront you about your recent behavior. The pair was sat alone at a table during lunch when Lucy pulled you into a seat, “What’s wrong with you?”

You gave the older woman a confused look, “What the hell do you mean?”

Kiera slapped Lucy’s arm and muttered something you couldn’t quite make out under her breath. She looked over to you, “What Lucy meant to say,” She sent the brunette defender a glare, “Is that you’ve been acting a bit different during training recently.”

You truly hadn’t caught onto what they were referring to yet and raised an eyebrow at the pair, “Is this your guy’s subtle way of telling me I’ve been playing badly?”

Lucy slapped the back of your head and groaned, “No you idiot,” You slapped her right back, “Every time someone so much as touches Ona you act like she got shot.” Lucy slapped you again, “And you’re always watching her like a hawk,” You slapped her back.

Kiera grabbed her arm before she could retaliate, “Would you two stop acting like children already.”

This wasn’t surprising behavior for you and the outside back, ever since you arrived at Barcelona the two of you grew much closer. Lucy helped you a lot to settle into the team and lifestyle of Spain, so overtime you grew a lot closer. Hence, why she was one of the first ones to notice a change in your behavior.

You suddenly realized what they were referring too and tried to hide it best you could, “I’m not acting any different, I always worry about her.”

Lucy gave you a dumbfounded look, “Yeah, but this is even pushing it for you,” She began to dramatically mimic you, “Oh my love, Ona, someone leaned on you during our full contact sport, and job, are you sure you’re going to survive this,” She leaned back with an arm laid against her forehead dramatically. 

You started slapping the older brunette again, “Oh shut up, I am not acting like that.”

Kiera sighed and pushed the two of you apart, “Would you two seriously stop it,” she looked at Lucy, “Luce stop being dramatic,” and then turned to face you, “You’re not acting like whatever the hell that display was, but you are acting extra protective over her.”

You ultimately made up some excuse about Ona having reinflamed her ankle and that you wanted to make sure she didn’t seriously injure it again. The pair of English women didn’t seem to believe your excuse, but let you go on your way.

On the ride home you had told you told Ona about the confrontation with Lucy and Kiera which she followed up by agreeing that you needed to tone down the protectiveness and worrying. She had begun to notice it too and believed it was sweet but agreed that it was about to get out of hand and was only a matter of time before more of your teammates began to catch on. 

---

It was a couple weeks later, around the 12-week mark, when Ona was quieter than usual after training. The car ride home was nearly silent, but you didn’t mention it and assumed she was just tired. As the pregnancy progressed Ona was starting to become increasingly more tired throughout the day, so you assumed that alongside the hard training today was the cause for her quietness. 

It wasn’t until a little later when you walked into the living room and found the Spaniard sitting on the couch with her head in her hands that you finally asked, “Is something wrong babe? Are you not feeling well?”

Her head remained in her hands as she softly muttered out, “I need to tell you something.”

You quickly sat down next to her with you hand on her thigh and concern lacing your voice, “Is it the baby? Do we need to call the doctor?”

She quickly sat back and leaned against the couch quickly alleviating your worries, “No, no the baby is fine. It’s just, es posible que accidentalmente le haya contado a Aitana sobre el bebé.” She had rushed out the last sentence in Spanish making it difficult for you to understand.

“Slower, por favor, you know my Spanish isn’t good when you talk fast.”

“I accidentally told Aitana about the baby today,” Feeling increasingly guilty she began to ramble, “I know we didn’t want to tell people about the baby this early, but she cornered me and you know I’m bad at keeping things to myself when someone asks and it just slipped out. I am so sorry mi amor.”

You chuckled at her rambling but let out a sigh of relief knowing this was the cause to Ona’s mood shift and not something more serious. Ona and Aitana had always been close, growing up playing for the academy together and since Ona returned to Barca they became even closer, so part of you was more surprised it took this long for her to find out. The outside back also was known for being bad at keeping secrets. Anytime someone would ask her about something she wasn’t supposed to talk about she would begin rambling making it obvious that she was hiding something and would usually end up saying it anyways.

You dropped back to lean against the couch and moved your hand from her knee onto her, hardly noticeable, bump, “Oh thank god, you had me worried, love.”

Ona covered your hand with hers, “There is nothing to worry about, I’m sorry she found out.”

The outside back when onto explain that Aitana had cornered her in the locker room after training when the rest of the team had already filed out. Instead of the usual comments which were about how protective you had become, Aitana had brought up how happy the two of you had seemed and that you were touchier than usual. She also had picked up on Ona subtly rubbing her stomach and your hand grazing over it after you would hug. She had straight up asked Ona if she was pregnant, and there was no escaping it from there, your girlfriend didn’t know how to lie.

“And you know I can’t lie, amor, she caught me so off guard and I must’ve taken too long to try and come up with an excuse, but she just pulled me into a hug saying how happy she was for us.”

You laughed again, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull the smaller girl into your side, “I’m more surprised you lasted this long without everyone finding out.”

Ona rubbed a hand over her stomach instinctively, “As long as everyone keeps bringing it up to you instead of me, we should be okay, there’s only three weeks until I can’t play in matches anymore and then we’ll have to tell them.”

You looked down to her face as you smoke softly, “We can tell the team now if you want, you’re out of the first trimester, we just saw the baby, and everything is healthy, there’s no big reason to keep it from them anymore.”

“No, no, I like just keeping it to ourselves. Our own little bubble outside of football for now,” she leaned up to connect your lips softly and full of love.

---

Aitana did much better of a job keeping the secret to herself than you originally expected. The midfielder took her job as being the best friend and only teammate who knew very seriously. Anytime your teammates would begin on the topic when she was around, she would quickly shush their comments and would back any lie you made up to cover your secret. 

You and Ona were grateful for her efforts, but in a way, it only increased your other teammates suspicions. You also were now partially convinced much of the team actually already knew what was going on. As the last two weeks have gone by Mapi, Ingrid, and Alexia had completely stopped asking anything about the topic. Originally Mapi had been one of the most vocal players about finding out what was going on, but now had completely stopped in her efforts. 

The truth was Ingrid, being the observant and caring teammate and friend that she was, had picked up on the same signals Aitana had. She obviously told Mapi about her suspicions who then confided in Alexia about them. Therefore, they came up with a plan to get the two of you to admit it to them. 

It was after the last game of the season before the Christmas break that Alexia decided the team would go to a club to celebrate before everyone left to their respective homes. You and Ona were going to see your family in England for the break, so you tried to get the two of you out of going by saying that you had to finish packing before your flight. Alexia wasn’t taking this as an answer and needed the both of you there to try and get an admittance from you, therefore, said it was required team bonding and you had to be there. The original plan was for Alexia and Mapi to call Ona out on not drinking and essentially for her to expose the pregnancy, but this plan was quickly stopped when the two of you entered the bar, keys in Ona’s hands, clearly having drove the two of you there. Anytime she was asked about a drink it was easy for her to say she was driving that night, plus she didn’t have to lie so there was no worries about her slipping up.

Alexia and Mapi were still trying to come up with a new plan when, surprisingly, you were the one to let it slip.

You were sitting at a table with many of your teammates while Ona was dancing with Aitana, Patri, Claudia, and Cata when a guy walked up behind Ona and placed his hands on her hips. You were on your feet and dragging the man off her before she had the chance to pull away.

The man turned around to be face to face with the hands that had just pulled him off the girl he was obviously interested in, “What the fuck do you want?”

You stood tall with your chest puffed and harshly spoke, “I want you to get your hands off my girlfriend.”

He scoffed, “Girlfriend? Sorry bud, I don’t think she’s the girlfriend type.”

You laughed, “Sorry, bud, but I’m the one she’s woken up next to for the past 8 years so I think I might know her a bit better than you.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t see you anywhere until after I came over so looks like I’ve beat you to it.”

“Oh, fuck no,” You tried to shove past him to get to Ona, but he moved to block your path.

“Why don’t you prove it to me then?” By now a decent amount of your teammates had noticed what was going on and began to come over to help deal with the man.

This sent you over the edge, it might’ve partially been at fault to the alcohol you had that night, and you being a little more than drunk already. But with one big push to his shoulder you announced, “I think the fact that she’s pregnant with my baby proves enough,” this left him shocked and gave you enough time to walk over to Ona with your back turned to the man and place a hand on the side of her face, “Are you alright, love?” Most of your teammates were now standing around you with their jaws hanging open clearly in shock.

The man clearly wasn’t over the embarrassment yet, as he pulled your shoulder back to face him and landed a hook across your cheek, you threw one right back getting him across the nose before security was dragging him away just as Lucy was doing the same to you. You looked back to find Ona and saw Alexia standing in front of her having clearly dragged her back and away from you and the man, likely assuming the altercation may escalate and after your confirmation didn’t want the Spaniard anywhere near the potential of a fight.

After clearing some things with the security guards, they let you stay and Lucy was dragging you over to the table many of your teammates had gone to sit at, the rest following close behind you. 

Ona slid into the booth next to you with a bag of ice in her hand, and reaching up with her free hand to grab your chin and turn your head to assess the damage, “Are you okay? You know I hate it when you do that.”

You were waving your arm dramatically, clearly still affected by the alcohol in your system, “He wanted to take you home I was protecting you both.”

She had a soft smile and pressed the bag of ice to your cheek, which you took over holding against your face, “I know you were, but you could’ve gotten hurt a lot worse.”

“I don’t care,” You leaned closer to whisper in her ear, clearly having forgotten you had already spilled your secret, “You’re carrying precious cargo, Baby Mami.”

Ona chuckled and patted your thigh, “No point in whispering now, amor, you already announced it.”

You turned to see the rest of your team giving you both dumbfounded and shocked looks, but Alexia, Aitana, Mapi, and Ingrid just smirking to themselves.

Alexia was the first to speak up from across the table, “So, you two are having a baby?”

You moved your free hand to rest on your girlfriend’s stomach and smiled as Ona replied, “Yep, baby y/l/n-Batlle is due in May. We were going to tell you all after the break, but tonight was my last match for the season, I’m about to be fifteen weeks, so no more matches.”

You were met with a lot of congratulations from your teammates when Lucy finally connected the dots and pointed at you, “So this is why you’ve been so unbearably protective over her recently.”

You defended yourself, “She’s carrying precious cargo, that’s the future best player in the world in there,” You patted her small bump, and the brunette covered your hand with hers.

This caused a smile to breakout on Ona’s face and laughs spread around the table. Ona had decided you had enough to drink, and she was exhausted having played 70 minutes today, so announced that you would be heading home. It took a few minutes before you were finally out the door, having to go through and hug every one of your teammates and being told congratulations by each one of them. 

The next day the two of you flew to England for the first half of break, you would spend Christmas with your family before coming back to Spain to spend the rest with Ona’s family who you saw more often. 

Since the secret was already out to your teammates and your families had already known for weeks while home in England you and Ona were able to tell a few of your England and former Arsenal teammates you were closest with. 

While in London and met up with Leah, Lia, Lotte, Alessia, Beth, and Viv for lunch to share the news with them. Leah was especially moved when you told her, having been much like a big sister to you during your time at Arsenal. She couldn’t get past how grown up you were and that now were having a baby. Alessia did a lot of claiming that this all happened because of her setting you two up. While you’ll go to your grave denying her you can’t help but thank her slightly.

---

Thanks for reading everyone, I hope you enjoyed! Again, please leave any requests or prompts in my asks!

[littleststarfighter]

Feeling sorry for myself

I just want to apologise if I seem standoffish sometimes. Or if I'm super late to reply to anyone. I get too shy and I have anxiety. After my mum passed away it kinda got worse. But I'm trying to get better at not being so awkward and making friends. I don't have many friends offline and it gets very lonely. I often don't get to talk to anyone for days or weeks face to face or on the phone. So coming on here and chatting makes my day. I'm just very slow at it because I get nervous.

Things have been really hard. I'm unemployed again and finding it impossible to find work. The curse of not having a car and living rurally. I've got bills to pay that signing on for welfare doesn't cover. When it comes to my family, only my sister has anything to do with me. I hate where I live because I have neighbours from hell, but I'm stuck here. I'm feeling trapped so it's been hard to get myself out there in the world more. And that includes being online and drawing. I just want to curl up and stop some days. I keep trying though even if I feel like giving up. Because drawing makes me happy and I love the people I meet here. I've met some really kind and awesome people ❤️ So I guess I just wanted to moan because sometimes it helps getting things out instead of pretending things are great. Sometimes they're not.

I wish I was a faster artist. I think that's why I'm not successful or find work in art. No one wants my art and it gets depressing seeing people I shared fandom with become successful and develop careers. Like I'm struggling to get people interested in my prints or Patreon. Honestly I'm thinking of deleting my Pateron as I'm not doing great or offering things people want. I don't do much NSFW and my art isn't cute. I take so long to draw and paint it's ridiculous. And don't draw just the one fandom and like to branch out and that doesn't help. Especially as I've landed in a new one lately. I think there'll be a point I'm going to have to stop drawing as it'll be hard to balance that and stressing about not having full time work. It makes me sad to think that but bills are more important and I have to get out of this hell hole I'm living in. I only have myself to rely on in my life. My family or friends won't help me. I get people asking why I can't do something with my art. But you need to be super popular and know people, as well as being outgoing and great at networking to make that work. And I'm too slow, shy and have a weird style for anyone to hire me. 

Sorry, just feeling sorry for myself today and wanted somewhere to rant that's not my poor sister. It's just been really hard for me recently and I'm trying so much to be positive and get myself sorted out. But sometimes you just want to have a moan. Will go try to finish something as I've had a really bad social anxiety kick recently and I've not been online or drawn anything for over a month. I want to draw so badly too.

Sorry for moaning so much.

[frvnkcastles]

hey i hope ur okay❤️ can you do Frank x Reader where she has an alcoholic and abusive father who has been in prison for two years and one day he is released and shows up at her house and she is very scared so Frank protects and comforts her

FIND MY PEACE OF MIND ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: When your abusive father turns up on your doorstep, Frank takes care of it.

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse (not specified), alcoholism, hurt/comfort, feminine nicknames

Word count: 1.7k

Author’s note: I know what it’s like to have alcoholism in the family (parents especially) and how dire the consequences of it can be, so you have my absolute sympathy, anon! I’m sending you so much love, and I hope you’re doing alright <3 I added a little detail of Frank offering to make it a completely alcohol-free home because that’s something I’ve thought about a lot, I personally don’t drink at all because of my family and I don’t think I’d be able to share a space with someone who drinks regularly. We see Frank drink occasionally on the show but I don’t think it’s ever implied he has a problem? So I 100% feel like he’d give it up if you asked. Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

Upon meeting Frank for the first time and subsequently learning he had been in prison, you were understandably sceptical about getting involved with him. You already had a man in your life who had deep-seated anger and hatred within him, manifesting in violent tendencies, and that had scarred you for life. So, you hesitated, and he had immediately seen the doubt and even fear on your face, and although he couldn’t explain why he wanted your approval so badly, he did.

”Hey, if you don’t wanna see me again, I ain’t gonna hold it against you. But you, uh… maybe you should read about me first. Judge for yourself”, he had suggested before parting ways with you, and you had promised to do just that. You had a napkin with his phone number scribbled on it, and against your first instinct, you didn’t throw it away. His words stuck with you, and when you got home that night, you searched up his name and were smacked in the face with a flood of news articles about him.

Most of them were negative, and you had quickly questioned why he would encourage you to read them. Journalists hadn’t hesitated to write horrendous things about him, but they had also dug up his past and spread it all over the internet for everyone to learn about. And it was those tidbits that soon opened your eyes to the enigma that was Frank Castle. He wasn’t a senseless killer and he wasn’t an abuser or a tormentor of innocent people — he was seeking justice for his brutally gunned down family and cleaning up the streets from evil.

You had been wary because of your past with your father, but the more you read about Frank, the easier it became to see that he was nothing like him. In fact, your father was a man who would sicken Frank, a man that Frank wouldn’t think twice about hurting, and that realization welcomed an odd feeling of safety into your heart.

You called Frank the next day, and it was the beginning of him always hanging around you. Before you knew it, your life had turned from bleak loneliness and anxiety about your father’s eventual return to endless kisses, late-night dates on the rooftop of your apartment building and sitting on your boyfriend’s lap while icing the newest bruise on the corner of his eyes. He was a whirlwind but in the best way, and you found yourself completely enamored with him.

He felt the same way, certainly not having expected falling in love with someone, and especially as hard as he had with you. He had tried so hard to stay guarded and deny himself the truth, but it had been impossible to resist you, and so, inevitably, he let his heart be in the driver’s seat for a change and admitted to himself that he adored you.

With your new relationship came opening up to each other about everything you had been through. You had already learned so much about Frank on the news that it felt like an invasion of his privacy, so you had asked him to tell you in his own words when he was ready, and in return, he was all ears when you shared the story about your father and his issues with alcohol. Frank had been more than understanding, immediately insisting that cutting out drinking entirely was something he was willing to do for you — whatever it took to create a safe environment for you. On top of that, he had assured you that he’d do his everything to keep you safe from everyone, but especially your father, and you fully trusted him to keep that promise.

Still, you didn’t expect that hypothetical situation would come to life. You were used to worrying about your father and the eventual time when he’d get out of prison, but when Frank began spending more and more time at your apartment, you lost track of that nervousness and it became an afterthought. You felt safe for the first time in years, but it all came crashing down on one otherwise regular Sunday.

There was a knock on your door and it caught both your and Frank’s attention in the kitchen where you were cooking dinner together. ”I’ll get it”, you smiled at him before he could jump at the opportunity, gently squeezing his arm before you left him with the chopped vegetables and headed for the front door.

You swung it open, and at the sight of your father, your face lost all vitality and your heart sank all the way down to the floor. ”There you are! At least you had the decency to open the door”, he slurred, clearly already intoxicated, and panic emerged in your chest. He had to have been only just released from prison, and here he was, already drunk and tracked you down.

”You’re not welcome here. Leave, okay?” you stuttered, far less demanding as you wanted to be, and the attempt made your father snort. He tried to step inside, but you quickly narrowed the doorway, not letting him invade your home. He reacted with a mean stare, calling you an ungrateful brat under his breath, and you tried your best to fight off tears.

”Sweetheart, who is it?” Frank called to you from the kitchen when you didn’t return, and with a shaky exhale, you realized you didn’t have to face your father alone. You had the city’s greatest weapon right there with you.

”It’s my father”, you declared loud enough for him to hear, and you instantly heard him drop the knife in his hands. Not more than two seconds later, Frank was stomping from the kitchen, fueled by his concern for you but his face twisted into something furious.

”And who’s this?” your father chortled, swaying back and forth in the hallway, barely able to stand up. Frank assessed the situation, and he swiftly understood that there was no talking sense into a drunk man. That was fine with him — he wasn’t really in the mood for polite conversation, anyway.

”Get the fuck outta here. This is your only warning”, Frank grunted, leaving nothing up to debate. He stood in front of you, shielding you from your father who was hardly impacted by Frank’s thinly veiled threat, and you quietly cried from the sheer terror.

”Hey, you can’t tell me—”, your father began, but Frank was having none of it. He shoved your father into the hallway and closed the door behind him, not wanting you to witness their bickering and get upset even more. You were scared for him, but realistically you knew that Frank could take care of himself, especially against someone absolutely wasted and delirious.

Frank dragged your father outside by his arm, his grip enough to leave bruises in the shape of angry fingers, and he wasn’t stopping despite the drunk man’s feeble protests. He was fuming, absolutely livid that your father had had the audacity to show up and put your life in shambles all over again, and he couldn’t stop thinking about all the abuse you had endured. The man under his grip deserved nothing but the worst, and he would have been honored to be the one to give it to him.

Once outside, Frank pushed your father forward, causing him to stumble down onto the pavement. ”You’re a pathetic asshole, y’know that? You don’t deserve someone like her. You don’t deserve to call yourself a father. And if you come here again, I’mma make sure you regret even thinkin’ about it”, Frank seethed, standing above your father menacingly. He didn’t get up or argue back, so Frank considered his job done for now — but he was going to stay true to his word if he’d ever show his face again. The only reason he hadn’t killed him yet was knowing that you struggled with the idea, and he didn’t want to hurt you by hurting him.

He made his way back inside where you were a trembling mess, and instantly softer, Frank closed the door behind him and pulled you into his arms. ”It’s aight, darlin’. He’s gone”, he soothed you, his heart breaking when you burst into sobs against his firm chest. He felt sickened by the thought of what you had suffered through. As a father himself, he could not imagine ever doing that to his children, and he couldn’t fathom how broken a person had to be to resort to abuse the way your father had. It was the lowest of the low in his opinion, and he was almost hoping your father would give him further excuse to royally beat him up.

”I was so scared”, you confessed through cries, and with an understanding nod, Frank kissed your forehead and caressed your hair. He didn’t consider himself to be an expert at giving comfort, but for you, he would always pull out all the stops.

”I know, baby. It’s over now. He ain’t comin’ back, I promise, I’ll make sure of it. He can’t hurt you no more”, he swore, swallowing down his rage before withdrawing from you enough to look down into your eyes. ”I’mma help you file for a restraining order, yeah? And if he still won’t listen, I’ll break his fucking legs”, he guaranteed, entirely serious, but it still got a little laugh out of you.

”I’d like to see that”, you pointed out, and with a small smile, Frank swiped his thumb across your cheek in a comforting motion.

”There’s my girl. Hey, I’ll always keep you safe, you know that, right?” he reminded you, and slowly, you gave him a nod to confirm you trusted him.

”Thank you, Frankie. I’d be lost without you”, you sighed, hugging him again, and he enveloped you into his strong arms while resting his chin on the top of your head.

”You know I feel the same way about you, sweetheart”, he whispered, always so grateful to have you in his life. He found you so utterly perfect and beautiful inside out, he couldn’t believe anyone would ever hurt you. And even though your father had done exactly that, you were still so strong and kind, something he didn’t think he always was himself.

He admired the hell out of you, and he was going to do whatever it took to help you keep your peace of mind.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Hello friend! I'm in love with your writing!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

Idk if your requests are still open but I'd like to request something if you don't mind!

I LOVED the hurt/comfort/whump fic you did for Hunter. Could you possibly do something like that for Tech x Reader?

Maybe Tech and the reader are on a mission together or maybe they've crash landed somewhere or something. The reader is badly hurt and Tech has to take care of her and treat her wounds and save her and comfort her in his own special Tech way 😂😍

Oh @arctrooper69 what can I say? I mean ... I think a thank you is just not enough. You have made my day with this request, so I took my time to give it the proper respect it deserves. I hope you like it. If it wasn't exactly what you were looking for I do apologize.

Please note that you are always welcome to send in requests. As this is a special request, it will be stored in my One Shots & Mini Series Master List.

The story got a little away from at 1400+ words, but I hope it's close to what you wanted.

And who doesn't love Tech. I love this adorable nerdy man.

Love oo,

His Promise

Warnings: Snow, injury, blood, explosions, crash, grief, fear, anxiety, hurt, fluff, near death, feelings of being a burden, getting in the way, I think that's it. If I miss any, please let me know.

Please note the explanation of Snow, Tech gives, was taken from the National Snow and Ice Data Centre.

AO3 Link   |   OS & MS Master List |   Main Master List  

The wind was picking up, as the snow piled down and was doing everything in its power to keep you and Tech from being rescued. You looked at the snow as it came down in sheets outside the entrance of the cavern he found, mesmerized by its beauty. 

“It’s beautiful and so calming …” you said slowly, your body already weakened from your injury and loss of blood.

“What are you talking about?” Tech did his best not to let the slowness of your breathing or even the breathless way you were speaking affect him. His anxiety was already high, and his fear of losing you was nearing his breaking point. 

“The snow…” you kept watching the soft flakes float down as they gently landed on the ground, piling on top of one another, almost as though they were unable to survive without the comfort of those around them. 

Tech glanced up to see the blizzard which prevented you both from leaving. As he watched the speed of the wind, he calculated it would’ve been nearly impossible for Hunter to bring the ship close to them. As he looked at the used bandages already soaked through with your blood his fear only grew. You needed immediate medical attention, more than he could provide at the moment, or it would mean certain death for you to be out here any longer.

Frankly, he couldn’t stop picturing the way you lunged forward as the ship crashed. He was helpless to watch you, as your body fell forward against the console, as a piece of the console broke off and jabbed you in your abdomen. It all happened too fast and somehow in slow motion. He could still hear your scream piercing his ear as he pulled you off the console.

He tried to stop the bleeding right away, however when he went to look for the med kit, he realized only too late that it had fallen out of the shuttle when the engine and the side compartment blew. All he had left were his emergency bandages and gauze and they weren’t nearly enough. 

At that moment, he couldn’t care less about how beautiful the snow was or how calming the blizzard looked from inside a cavern, that he only had to find because that piece of osik shuttle decided to have a fuel leak, catching on fire. 

Within seconds he had needed to drag you out of the relatively warm and safe shelter you both had, grabbing what supplies he could before the ship blew up. Thankfully, he had been able to send a message to Hunter when the shuttle crashed initially. So it was only a matter of time before the Marauder showed up, but …

His eyes fell back to the bundle of used gauze, his anxiety climbing as he knew you needed more first aid than he could provide at the moment. You needed the Marauder, you needed his med kit that he carefully stocked and kept safe on board the Marauder. At this point in time, he didn’t care about any kriffing snow.

“Snow is an accumulation of packed ice crystals. The condition of the packed crystals determines a variety of attributes, such as colour, temperature and water equivalent. As weather conditions change, the packed ice crystals can change as well, and this affects the characteristics of snow.”

You chuckled at his ability to pull forth information like it was nothing. Unfortunately the chuckle turned to coughing. Only causing you to dribble more blood out of your mouth, you wiped away what you could. He didn’t need to see that, “Tech …” you coughed again, “turn off your brain for two seconds, don’t think and just look. Just watch.”

He pulled the heater closer towards you, “Stop talking and try and warm up.”

“Tech…” you held his hand, “just look.”

His eyes drifted up your body, till he locked eyes with you. They were pleading for him to listen and to just have him appreciate what you found mesmerizing. He tried to follow your advice, focusing on the snow, but all his mind kept drifting back to was this blizzard that was preventing you from getting the medical attention you needed, so desperately. 

He shook his head focusing back on your abdomen, trying to stop the bleeding. Trying his best to keep you with him. 

“Tech,” you gripped his wrist “… stop …”

“No.”

His tone was firm and full of anger, why did he agree to let you come with him? If he used his brain instead of allowing his feelings for you to dictate his actions, you wouldn’t have been here. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt. Why did you always insist on following him? Why didn’t you just stay behind on Pabu? Simply because you wanted to see the galaxy, and he was excited to show it to you? It was his fault you were here. It was his fault you were in danger. It was his fault he … was going to lose you.

“Tech …” you squeezed his wrist. He removed your hand from his wrist, placing it off to the side as he focused on your wound. He didn’t deserve your touch, he didn’t deserve to have you comfort him. It was his fault you both crashed on this force forsaken planet. 

There was nothing you could do as you watched Tech pull away. 

From the moment you met him on Pabu, the way he worked with Phee as he helped rescue the villagers when the rogue wave was rushing towards the island, and the way he helped make everything more ‘efficient,’ you couldn’t help but fall in love with him. You wanted to learn from him, to listen to him go on with regards to anything and everything. Only problem was you never had the courage to actually utter the words you were dying to. Phee told you time and time again, ‘later’ was never a guarantee, and now as you lay on the cold floor of the cavern you were in, bleeding out of your abdomen, you realized how little time there was left. 

  Tears welled up in your eyes, as you realized you needed to unburden yourself. You needed to tell him what had been pressing on your heart before you didn’t have the strength to, it didn’t help that you were feeling weaker with each passing second. Also didn’t help that you could tell he was angry, actually a more accurate description would be infuriated, more than likely at you.

“I’m sorry.” You offered the only apology you could. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden, even now.” You took in a shuddering breath as Tech stopped moving his hands for two seconds as he focused on your face. “I’m sorry for always pestering you to teach me,” you offered, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry for not listening,” a tear slid down your cheek, “I’m sorry for putting you in this position. To have to feel responsible for someone like me.” 

He shook his head, his teeth clenched as his anger, grief, fear, and sadness overwhelmed him completely in that moment. He pulled off his helmet and placed it beside him. 

“Stop.” It was his only command.

“Please, I …” you coughed again, trying to not cough on him. “I just want … I need to …”

He cut off your speech as his hand cupped your cheek, “Cyar’ika …” tears welled up in his eyes, “you were … are never a burden.” He couldn’t believe that’s what you thought of him… that’s what you believed he felt for you. He shook his head again as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I have loved every second we have spent together. I made a point to record every moment with you, because they were more precious to me than breathing.”

You held on to his bicep, keeping him close as tears streamed down your cheek, “Tech … I … I don’t want to go… I want … I want to stay here with you…”

“You’re not going anywhere. I just got you …” his tears landed on your cheeks, mixing with your own, “you’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Hold me… please… just hold me until…I can’t feel your arms anymore.”

“I’ll hold you longer than that,” Tech pulled you into his arms, lifting you off the ground as he felt your body grow weaker. Your eyes were closed, your body was growing pale. He was so focused on you, he didn’t hear the voices calling out to him, at least not until he felt Hunter’s hand on his shoulder. He didn’t wait, there were no more seconds to lose. He rushed towards the Marauder with you in his arms, he wasn’t going to lose you. He promised. He was going to bring you back.

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[666anxiety666]

May I ask for a Pressure tickle fic? Where the player / y/n is a 16 year old (In my country if your 15 ur legally go to jail, and the 16 yr old committed a crime in self defence) and Sebastian noticing the anxiety, pressure (pun inteended) and paranoia he decides to cheer the kiddo up to make em feel like a child again and just melt away their worries? So basically Lee 16 yr old Y/n and a Big Ler snake that gives off HUGE older brother vibes

That's such a cute prompt, omg 😭

Tickle monster

Sebastian and TEEN reader

LEE: Y/N LER: Sebastian

Warnings: none :)

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎

Ever since you had been sent down here, Sebastian hasn't let you leave his shop without him. You don't blame him. You wouldn't go out on your own anyway. A sixteen year old should never have been in a place like this to begin with.

Sure, it got boring, and yeah, maybe at first Sebastian claimed he was only protecting you cause, "he had to." But over time, you and him have become quite close, like a sibling kind of way...

However, as of recently, your anxiety and paranoia has gotten worse. Ever small nosie made you jump. You always hid behind Sebastian when a new expendable came down. You were never away from Sebastian, always clinging to him.

Currently, you and Sebastian were getting ready for bed. You always slept with Sebastians tail curled around you. But on this "night," you couldn't sleep.

Your eyes darted all over the place, your heart rate picking up as you head what must have been one of the anglers, banging on a wall in the distance. Sebastian opened one of his three eyes and glanced at you.

"Don't worry, kid. They do that all the time... just try to drown it out, yeah?"

But you couldn't. every noise made you jump. You were scared. You shouldn't even be here to begin with. You wanted to go home... Sebastian noticed your fear and worry.

"Come on, kid. You've got nothing to worry about..."

But Sebastian's words did little to ease your fear. Sebastian sighed. He turned around to face you fully. His tail is still wrapped around you.

"What can I do to help you calm down?"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. You shrugged shyly. Sebastian sighed again. He rested his cheek in the palm of his hand as he thought of what to do.

"Come on, kid. There's gotta be something..."

Sebastian poked your side as he said this. You jumped at the poke. Letting out a small squeak. Sebastian paused, raising an eyebrow. Then, it hit him. A massive grin spreading on his face

Yours blood ran cold, and you instantly tried to get up to run. But Sebastian's tail kept you down. You struggled. But it was too late.

"Oh no, kid. You ain't escaping... the tickle monster!"

Sebastian cackled. Latching onto your sides, raking his claws up and down. You squealed, kicking your legs desperately.

You grabbed at his wrists and tried to shove him off. But it was no use. Sebastian moved his third hand to your tummy. You squealed louder.

"Look at you, squealing like a little school girl~"

Sebastian teased. You tried to pull your way out of Sebastian's grasp, but it was useless.

"Aw, how cute! You think you can stop me? You think the tickle monster shows mercy to kids like you?"

Sebastian exaggerated. Moving his hands up to your ribs. Your laughter got louder. kicking your legs harder against the floor.

"Say... im quite hungry... how many ribs do kids like you have, hm?"

Your heart dropped. You tried to push him away, but it was no use. You begged, but your pleas fell of deaf ears.

"One..~ two..~ three..~"

Sebastian started to "count." Wiggling his fingers at each rib as he did. It tickled so badly. You kicked and squirmed harder.

"Come on, kid! You made me lose count! Now I have to start all over!"

Sebastian exclamied before starting his "counting" from the beginning. This went on for what felt like forever. Your squeals and belly laughter filling the shop as Sebastian would restart at every struggle you made.

"Ugh, you know.. if I can't have get at your tasty ribs... maybe I'll have to try something else...!"

Sebastian then pretended to start "eating" your stomach. Blowing raspberries and making munching sounds.

Your face flushed. This was so childish. But you couldn't escape. You were stuck. You kicked and squealed. Shoving at Sebastian's head.

Soon, after what felt like an eternity. Sebastian backed off.

"Man... I think I've had my fill..."

Sebastian grinned as he backed off. Leaving you panting and giggling. You hugged your stomach slightly. You're face bright red for laughing. Sebastian chuckled, ruffling your hair gently.

"You good kid?"

Sebastian asked. You nodded. Pushing your hair out of your face. Sebastian chuckled once more.

"See? Told you everything was fine. You just need a good tickle every now and then."

Sebastian joked as he poked your side one last time. You yelped and giggled. Sebastian smirked and lay back down.

"Okay, okay, I'm done.."

Sebastian mumbled. You also lay back down. Resting against Sebastians tail. Sebastian pulled a blanket over you before wrapping his third arm over your shoulder.

You felt your eyes droop. You were tired. Not only from today's work, but all that tickling you went through. Sebastian smiled slightly.

"I've got you, kid..."

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎

Thank yall for the requests‼️ I have two more fics coming🙌

[cultofdixon]

That growling wasn’t a walker

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • You can handle just one walker…or a few…or really, yeah. Daryl is in for a surprise • SFW/Smol ANGST • TW: Minor Injuries / Anxiety

Requested by: Anon

“It’s getting late, should set up camp somewhere”

“Go ahead and set it up” Y/N handed Daryl the few squirrels and one rabbit she caught, earning a confused look from the man. “Heard some walkers. Gonna take them out before setting up our trigger lines”

“Smart…just be safe okay?” Daryl reminds his partner always as she gave him a smile bringing herself close enough for him to meet half way for their lips to touch. “Don’t make me have to come after yea” a hint of a smirk peaked out when Y/N playfully smacked him in the chest before heading toward the low growling she heard.

Y/N went a bit further than she expected from where she was with Daryl. The sound grew louder so she half expected to deal with at least a handful of walkers. Nothing she can’t handle. She was starting to hear a different tone with the growling that it started to come off as animalistic.

“Hm…” Y/N kept her gun holstered and readied her hunting axe when it came to the bigger animals.

And boy. Wait til Daryl heard about this

She’s been gone a minute Daryl thought as he finished the fire and half the trigger lines, keeping the direction she went off to open so she wouldn’t trip and hurt herself. It’s happened. He’s learned his lesson.

Footsteps started to come clear and they were heavier than normal if they were Y/N’s. He knows it’s wrong but to be safe he readied his crossbow and soon enough her silhouette came clear. Daryl instantly glued his gaze to the amount of blood on her and tried not to think too hard about it.

“Rough kill?”

“Something like that—-Hey Daryl, have you ever like eaten a grizzly bear?”

That made him look up at her confused stopping himself from making a makeshift grill.

“Nah, be crazy to hunt a bear”

Y/N crouched down a bit to his level as Daryl got a clearer look at the blood on her noticing it was fresh and part of his mind went to she got hurt.

“Would you…say they’re edible though? Never heard somebody eat a bear”

“Anythin’ is edible if you’re hungry—-You gotta sit down let me look—-“

“Cool. I got bear for dinner” She patted her legs as she rose from the crouched position taking a few steps back before dragging a dead bear into view. “Son of a bitch put up a fight”

The man was speechless watching her drag this grizzly bear next to him and immediately sat on the other side taking out her knife about to start skinny when he stopped her.

“Sweets, we gotta get you cleaned up and make sure you ain’t too badly injured”

“I’m not. Just a few scratches and probably a gnarly bruise on my side from getting almost knocked off my feet but I’m good” Y/N plopped herself down and started to get to work, and Daryl helped her knowing if he quickened the process he can access her injuries.

It took a few hours and a bit of convincing, but here they were. Sitting next to one another enjoying some of the bear meat while the rest was wrapped up and hung up to avoid losing the hunt to what was hunted. Daryl finished wrapping Y/N’s arm in the last of the bandage he carried letting her finally have a full grasp on some of the bear meat.

“You’re crazy you know that”

“I’m hangry, let me enjoy this”

The archer rolled his eyes watching her eat and occasionally adjust the bear pelt laid on her shoulders. It was still unsettling that his partner took on a bear, not surprising because she can definitely handle shit but how she didn’t get help or even wanted it.

“Just wait til Michonne hears about this”

“She’s gonna be so proud” Y/N laughs a little to herself knowing damn well Michonne is gonna accuse Daryl of not keeping a close eye on his partner. Because she has a tendency of doing radical things.

Once they packed up and headed back home, Michonne wasn’t the only one to greet them back as she was accompanied by Carol and Aaron who both noticed the bandages and bear pelt on Y/N.

“Daryl, what happened?”

“We brought back a lot of game” Daryl states dropping the bag by Aaron’s feet as he immediately looked inside with a confused look.

“Uh. That’s a lot of meat”

“Captain Obvious over here” Y/N laughs, shrugging the bear pelt off and handing it to Michonne as she kept her attention on her injuries. “Hey, it lost the fight”

“You two hunted a bear?? You know how dangerous—-“

“Ha!” Y/N cut Carol off immediately. “We…”

Then all three of them looked at Daryl with a hint of anger and worry but the second emotion was more directed toward Y/N.

“She hunted a bear”

“All by herself”

“When she could’ve just left it alone” Michonne finishes only to roll her eyes to Daryl’s shrug of a response.

“She didn’t die”

“SHE STILL GOT HURT!” Aaron pointed out the obvious one more time as Y/N sighs patting Daryl on the shoulder.

“They are ungrateful to my hard work” and with that she made her way back to their place. Knowing damn well Daryl was going to get chewed out by the three and she wasn’t going to stay there for that.

[separatist-apologist]

My Whole Life Is Ruined

Summary: When you hold me, it holds me together, and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

Surprise @talons-and-teeth! I'm sorry for the wait- I was not your original secret santa. I pulled this together based on what I know about you and I hope you like it! @acotargiftexchange

Big thanks to @octobers-veryown for making a moodboard with practically no instructions other than one Taylor Swift lyric and the description "Azriel has been hiding the fact he's Gwyn's mate and they have sex about it."

--

Insomnia was nothing new. 

Gwyn couldn’t remember the last time she’d fully slept through the night. The past chased the present, running in circles as she ran after her tail, almost grasping it before she woke covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Sometimes, bathed in nothing but moonlight, Gwyn wondered if there would ever come a time when she didn’t dream of her sister, of a life long gone.

It didn’t rattle her as badly as it used to. Sitting in the bed Nesta had so graciously offered up, Gwyn pushed the blankets from her legs to let the cool, winter air caress her overheated skin. Leaving the library still felt like a picked over wound. She didn’t want to go back, cloistered away from her friends and the life she’d begun to enjoy living. That didn’t mean she wasn’t scared.

Anxiety seemed to thrum beside her heartbeat, a constant presence she could only just shake if she was otherwise occupied. Right then, in the dead of night, Gwyn felt it snake around her until it was wrapped tight around her throat, choking a scream that always seemed so close to escaping.

She didn’t bother changing out of her thin nightdress, certain neither Cassian or Nesta would be up this late. If they were even back—they’d gone to Hewn City that evening for some meeting with a Day Court prince, giving Gwyn full run of the House of Wind. Not that she did anything terribly interesting with all that power—Gwyn got a book and some hot chocolate and spent the night curled in a chair reading until she finally dragged herself into bed.

Maybe she should have trained on the roof first. Really worn herself down so her brain was too exhausted to conjure up memories of the past, all the while whispering of how she might have prevented it, if she’d only been stronger, smarter, cleverer. Forcing her to relive it, to pick it apart to see what could have been different.

That was exhausting, too.

Cold air hit her the moment she pushed open the door, howling a greeting that might have scared someone else off. Gwyn liked the biting cold, the raucous yelling, the silhouette of the mountains looming like shadows in the distance. A half moon poured light over the rooftop, causing sleeping weapons to glint beneath. Maybe, she thought ruefully, she should have put on socks. Hair caught against her lips, and as Gwyn worked to push it out of her face, wishing for a hair tie, too. 

It wasn’t too late and yet she was already here, wasn’t she? Might as well just power through, ignoring her discomfort like she was so accustomed to. The bite of cold was a reminder she’d survived—she was alive. So what if it burned a little? Sometimes Gwyn thought she fought better when she was in pain.

And more often than not, she suspected she deserved to feel it. That the curling peace was a mistake and everyone was going to realize what an imposter she was. They’d tell her she didn’t belong with them and cast her back out. Gwyn was always just waiting for it, a hammer that might fall at any given moment. 

A blade just against her neck, never quite striking.

Gwyn pulled out a dagger, her favored weapon, and held it for a moment in her hand. Nesta was all brute strength, and Emerie terrifying yet easy grace, but Gwyn liked to be the shadow in the dark. The knife at someone's side rather than a screaming sword coming for a person's throat. While Nesta and Emeries radiated the kind of beauty that made men cower, Gwyn liked to think she was sweeter, more unassuming. People looked at Nesta, at Emerie, and were taken by their perfection.

They looked at Gwyn and wondered why she was with them. So Gwyn trained harder, made herself someone that couldn’t be ignored. Not forever, anyway. She was good at hiding, besides, taking to trees, blending into the background so often that on more than one occasion, Cassian and Nesta didn’t realize Gwyn was in the room until she cleared her throat. 

Unbalanced, Gwyn took a second dagger and for a moment, was the wind itself. Recalling the movements Azriel had been teaching her, Gwyn stepped like a dance, twisting her body and slashing her blades against invisible foes.

A real ones, too. A shadow moved from the edge of the ring, catching her by surprise. Gwyn darted, and just as Azriel had taught her, grabbed them, slamming their body to the ground. It was thunder the way that massive, familiar form crashed against the world, a mighty god dragged from the heavens themselves.

Azriel groaned, eyes closed even as his hands grabbed her waist, holding her knee painfully against his ribs. “That was good,” he gasped, fingers curling into her skin. 

“I’m so sorry,” she replied, dropping the blade she’d pressed to his throat. A thin line of blood snaked over golden, tattooed skin, staining the rather lovely black jacket he was wearing. Why was he up here, she wondered? Shouldn’t he be enjoying himself with his friends and family? 

Azriel swallowed hard, opening hazel eyes that cut through the otherwise oppressive dark to look at her.

“I’m not.”

And then he released her, letting her scramble backwards, heart thumping in her chest. Azriel didn’t move, wings spread wide around against the ground. He looked like a fallen angel and Gwyn was awed at the sight, the realization that it had been her who’d felled him. He was looking right back at her, his expression clouded by shadow. Was he angry? He said he wasn’t, but surely he didn’t appreciate being assaulted in his own home. 

Not that she saw much of him since she’d moved in. Azriel, who maintained a bedroom in the House of Wind, was suddenly gone and when Gwyn was really down, she sometimes thought it was because he didn’t like being around her. Here he was, though, clambering to his feet, his eyes sliding down her body. She could feel the heat of them like he was touching her skin and was grateful for a sudden burst of wind hitting her like a bucket of ice water.

Careful, she warned herself. 

It was hard, though. Anyone with eyes could see how beautiful Azriel was. She wasn’t stupid. It didn’t hurt that in her worst moment, Azriel’s had been the very first she’d seen. A savior—a dark angel, come to wreak bloody vengeance on her sister's behalf. It had been Morrigan who’d taken her away to safety, but when Gwyn thought about how she’d escaped, she always remembered Azriel’s curved, lethal blade, sliding cleanly through the bodies of the same males who had killed her sister.

She’d always been grateful to him for it, even if she’d never tell him. He’d never once looked at her like he remembered, had never betrayed an ounce of pity. She’d expected him to say something back when he’d first joined their training, wary and distant. And maybe he knew, because he kept his distance until it was safe, had held himself at an arm's length and let her decide how much or little of him she wanted. 

The problem was Azriel himself. Outside of being the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, he was just nice. Not in the way Cassian was, with big smiles and silly jokes, but with serious eyes and a dagger in hand, forcing her to move again and again and again. Your steps are off, Gwyn—you’ll get yourself killed that way. Eyes on your opponent, don’t look away. Hold your breath, don’t let them know you’re there.

Because he knew it mattered to her. That she wouldn’t be caught off guard ever again, that Gwyn would never let someone hurt her. Often, she wondered if he didn’t understand that pain, if it didn’t mirror some tragedy of his own. They didn’t talk about it—they didn’t need to. It was an understanding between them, something so intimate she would never share it with another living soul.

She kept waiting for Azriel to step back, to tell her she’d done enough, that she should finish with Cassian. He never did. Even when he was gone, Gwyn practiced knowing he’d want to see the progress she’d made while he was gone. And when he returned, he’d wait on the roof even when she’d flippantly told him it would be easier to just send word via letter.

I don’t mind waiting.

Those words still felt so charged to her. Like he was trying to say something else, eyes glittering and bright like the stars overheard. Gwyn pulled herself from her thoughts to look up at Azriel looming overhead, his wings flared around him as if he was trying to make himself seem larger. It was working—he was massive, muscular and tall and just like before, half fallen angel, half terrifying god come to earth so he might reign. 

“You look cold,” Azriel commented, caught looking at her. 

Gwyn put her hands on her hips. So what if he was? “I’m not.”

“Bullshit.”

Smothering a smile, Gwyn asked with faux outrage, “Are you calling me a liar?”

She swore the corners of his lips twitched. “To your face, even.”

“The cold doesn’t bother me,” Gwyn said, shifting from one leg to another, a gesture he seemed to register with sharp-eyed interest. Proof, she realized as his fingers began making quick work of his jacket. “No, that’s not—”

“Suck it up,” was Azriel’s dark voiced response, draping the warm jacket against her shoulders, leaving himself only in a black shirt stretched over his muscular torso. His eyes slid back down to her legs, lips flattening as he realized she was without shoes, too. “You’ll catch your death out here.”

Gwyn could smell the heady, masculine scent of him coming from the fabric, her arms far too small for the large holes. Still, she didn’t protest, turning to look toward the outline of the mountains instead.

“Maybe. But what a way to go.”

“It’s hardly heroic to die from the cold,” Azriel murmured, turning to follow her gaze. Did he know what she was thinking? How they had nearly died in the blood rite, thrown in wearing only a thin night dress against well-armed warriors? She wondered if Azriel would have found that heroic, even if it had been the cold that had gotten them.

Gwyn blew out a breath, the steam of air curling between them as one of his shadows darted out, illuminated by starlight. It wasn’t the first time and she wondered if they thought she, too, had a shadow for them to interact with.

Or if it meant something else.

Something more.

“Inside,” Azriel finally said, a gust of wind ruffling his night dark hair.

“You’re fussy tonight,” she grumbled, not protesting when his fingers pressed against the small of her back, pushing her toward the door. Heat pulsated from the touch, settling low in her stomach. “Did something happen?”

Azriel pulled open the door with his free hand, his touch never quite leaving. “No. Hewn City is unchanging.”

She glanced up at him, the light softening the harsh lines of his face. “Is that a good thing?”

“It’s predictable.”

“I want to see it,” Gwyn declared, though in truth she wasn’t entirely sure that was true. Still, the corners of Azriel’s mouth twitched a bit, as if the whole thing amused him. 

“You would devour them,” was his easy, good-natured response. “To their endless delight.”

“And yet I’ve been snubbed yet again,” she teased, elbowing him gently in the ribs. “Do I file my complaint with you…or…?”

“You were spared the grating presence of Vanserra,” Azriel said, cocking his head with a half smile. “But I will pass along your discontent to the High Lord.”

“Be sure that you do,” Gwyn replied, grinning by the time Azriel deposited her into a chair in the study. He didn’t go far, sitting on the arm, his wings draped behind them. She could see the flexing muscle of his thigh beneath his well-tailored pants. If she’d wanted, she could have touched him.

It was obscene how badly she wanted to. How she had to clench her fingers to fists to keep from reaching out, well aware that Azriel would withdraw entirely and, perhaps, never speak to her again. He’d been nothing if not unfailingly polite, besides…though…he had been looking at her in the clingy, short nightdress, hadn’t he? 

Just because you were cold, her mind reminded her. After all, she was still wearing his jacket. Gwyn shrugged out of it, heat blooming over her cheeks as she shoved it into his lap. There. She’d gotten to touch him without him knowing and give him back his jacket before she convinced herself to keep it.

And possibly sleep in it.

Azriel arched a dark brow, hazel eyes staring at the rumpled fabric now balled in his lap. “What did the jacket do to offend you?” he asked, taking it in broad, callused hands. He’d removed his siphons, leaving the scarred skin wholly on display. She wondered what had happened to him—and why. 

If he’d ever gotten his revenge for it.

“It’s yours—that’s enough,” she replied flippantly. Holding her gaze, Azriel picked up the jacket and brought it to his nose. Time seemed to stop, frozen entirely as she watched him do this.

And he watched her, daring her to say something. She opened her mouth, gaping, only to close it.

And Azriel smiled. Broad and unrestrained, as if he were so delighted he couldn’t help himself. Tilting his head toward the roof, he murmured, “House—some tea, if you don’t mind.”

Of course the house didn’t mind. Two cups of steaming tea rattled on the coffee table before them, complete with sugar and honey, if either of them wanted it.

Gwyn didn’t think she could pick up a cup without betraying the rattle of her hands. Why? Azriel had discarded the jacket casually, tossing it to another chair like it was uninteresting to him. And was he closer, now? His thigh was, she was certain, but had his arm always been behind her. If she moved a few inches, he could have slid into the seat to join her.

He could pull you into his lap if he wanted. 

Which, of course, he didn’t

Didn’t he?

“Why are you here?” she asked, hating that breathless quality of her voice. Azriel heard it, too, head snapping to the side, nose flared as though searching for something she couldn’t place. 

“I like to be near you,” he replied. He could have thrown her across the room and surprised her less. Once again, Gwyn opened her mouth only for no sound to leave her throat. 

“You—you’re never here,” she finally managed. Azriel leaned forward, the faelights gilding the dark ink of his tattoos scrawled over his biceps. He took one of the cups and handed it to her, fingers brushing her own.

“I can’t stand being around you,” was his maddening, level response. 

Gwyn’s stomach sank. “What?”

She couldn’t drink—not when such a strange admission hung between them. Azriel, so unused to verbosity, was now forced to explain himself. It occurred to her just as he turned fully to look at her, some of the color drained from his otherwise beautiful face, that perhaps he wanted this confrontation. She didn’t, though, and wished she could have told him so. Things were fine between them—distant, maybe, and filled with a lopsided yearning on her end, but that was better than whatever he was about to do.

Gwyn had the distinct feeling Azriel was about to crush her. Emotionally ruin her. Destroy her so recklessly there would be no coming back.

“You still don’t feel it?” he asked instead, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “After all this time?”

A new fear speared through her gut. There was only one thing Azriel could possibly feel—and one thing she could possibly not. Gwyn had to set the shaking cup of tea down before bolting from her chair, arms wrapped around her chest. 

“You don’t feel anything,” she declared, deciding if she felt nothing, neither did Azriel. 

Pain lanced across his expression, replaced by grim determination. As he stood, Gwyn knew Azriel wasn’t going to let it go until they both felt exactly as he did—until she felt the mating bond. 

Gwyn shook her head, backing away as he advanced. “Don’t do this, Azriel—”

“Is it that terrible, then?” he asked her, his low words filled with a familiar emotion. One she recognized all too well—the loathing, the self-hatred, the expectation that of course she would reject him. 

“It’s—” Gwyn couldn’t breathe for the closeness of him, for the wanting to touch him. And maybe she did feel it, in her way. Had felt it the moment he’d strode into that cursed, wrecked room looking like the god of vengeance. She’d merely been too hurt to know it, too broken, too emotionally devastated. He should have frightened her and he never had.

Even then, towering over her with his muscular frame, Gwyn didn’t flinch away. She merely met his gaze with blazing defiance.

“You’re wrong,” she told him, keeping her voice light as she pushed at his chest so she could slip around him. “Or mistaken. There is no bond and I’m certain if you saw a healer, they’d—” Azriel grabbed her wrist, spinning her so her back was pressed to the floral papered wall behind her. Dipping his head, Azriel ran his nose the length of her neck.

“You’re no mistake, Gwyn.”

“I am,” she whispered without meaning to. Azriel could do so much better. Surely…surely he wanted better. What had that been like for him, she wondered, and before she could stop herself, she added, “When did you feel it?”

Something primal flared in those bright eyes of his. “Dinner with Nesta and Cassian. You touched my hand and I…” Holding up the offending hand, Azriel flexed his fingers in memory. “I felt the snap.”

That had been almost a year. It had been the last time Azriel had dinner with all of them, and right after she’d formally moved into the House of Wind. Gwyn still remembered that night—Azriel had bolted before dessert, murmuring something about needed to talk to Rhys. Gwyn had thought nothing of it—might never have thought about it again had he not pinned her against a wall to declare that had been the moment he’d felt a mating bond snap. 

“We’ve been training together for months,” she replied with no small amount of outrage. He’d been keeping this secret for that long? 

“I thought you’d feel it,” Azriel all but growled, eyes bouncing over her face. “And when you didn’t…”

“Rhys knows?”

“And Cassian—”

“So Nesta, too?!”

Gwyn shoved him again, harder this time. Azriel let her, she suspected, stepping back so she could have some breathing space. “They all know but I don’t.”

“And you’re taking the knowledge so well,” Azriel replied with a bite of sarcasm.

She whirled, wishing she had a dagger in hand even has the dried blood from his healed wound still taunted her. “I think I deserved to know before Cassian.”

“I needed his help,” Azriel admitted, running a hand over his mouth. “I needed to know how he managed it.”

“How difficult could it be,” she asked flippantly, intending to leave him there so she could think. Foolish to turn her back on a predator. Azriel had her again, wrapped in one strong arm, the other holding her jaw so she had to look at him.

“Hell,” he rasped, his anguish plain. “Every minute of it has been hell.” 

In Gwyn’s defense, she managed one, final, protest. “It’s just—”

His mouth covered hers before she could finish that statement, could say what they both knew she’d been thinking. As if he found the words so abhorrent he wouldn’t hear them, would swallow them until he’d snuffed them from their very existence.

Gwyn forgot what she’d been about to say at all. She’d thought about what it might be like to kiss him. If his mouth would be soft or rough, if he kissed like he fought or if there was passion bubbling beneath his icy exterior. She hadn’t been prepared for what it would feel like or how desire would overtake her so thoroughly she didn’t care about anything else. Were those her hands cupping his neck? Her lips hungrily kissing him back like a crazed, desperate creature?

Her tongue meeting his own, her legs moving until he had her back against the wall so he could press the length of his body against hers? 

There was only one thought in her name, an echo repeated over and over. Mate. Mate. Mate. 

Maybe he should have just kissed her at that dinner. Skipped the yearning, the anguish, the uncertainty. At least they would have been kissing, anyway. Gwyn forgot herself entirely, nails digging against his shoulder until Azriel helpfully hoisted her into the air so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

“Don’t talk about my mate like that,” he panted, dragging his teeth against her neck. “I love her.”

Gwyn whimpered. What did she say to that? As it turned out—nothing. Azriel kissed her again, sparing them both whatever incoherent nonsense might have tumbled from her lips. She might have sworn she loved him too, if only to convince him to keep kissing her like he was.

Gwyn was certain Azriel’s kiss had ruined her life. How was she supposed to go back to things as they were before? It wasn't knowing that he was her mate, but knowing the way his hands felt cupped against her face and the way wildfire sparked in her blood when his tongue slid into her mouth? 

The worst of it was when his hands left her ass, letting her slide down the hard slab of his body before she was ready. He pulled away, lips swollen and eyes wild, to take a healthy step away from her, though it seemed to take an immense amount of effort. For her part, she kept herself pressed to the wall, unsure what was happening.

“You know now,” Azriel managed, his voice hoarse, “and that’s…that’s all I wanted. I ah…I should go before—”

“You’re leaving?” she asked, strangely hurt by this new rejection. Gwyn knew all about mating bonds. What fae didn’t? Before she’d come here, she’d once dreamt of her own mate, giggling with her sister in their bunks as they imagined what that person might be like. If they existed at all, given the rarity of such a thing. It was almost funny that he’d been right here all along, close enough she could literally touch. 

And he was going to leave? He didn’t want to accept it? Did she? It was all happening so fast but of course you didn’t reject a mate. She could see the wariness on his face, could watch in real time as he pulled up his defenses as she realized that yes. That was exactly his expectation.

Why? She knew from Nesta’s stories that Azriel was well sought after. And she wasn’t blind. What female didn’t dream of a male with his bone structure? He was powerful and close to the High Lord, and beyond all that, Azriel was kind. A genuinely good person, the sort of male one could spend centuries with if they wanted.

What could she even offer him? Gwyn’s thoughts raced, listing all the reasons he ought to have stopped, why keeping this a secret made so much sense. She didn’t notice Azriel creeping closer and closer until his fingers were under her chin, lifting her face so she had to look at him. 

“You’re doing it again,” he murmured, his voice dark and dangerous. “Thinking unkind thoughts about my mate.”

“You can’t tell me what to think,” she shot back, her own voice trembling a little. He was so certain, so unbothered and in her entire life, had anyone ever immediately felt that way about her?

Nesta and Emerie. Catrin. 

Azriel.

“You have it all wrong,” Azriel murmured and she wondered if perhaps he could read her mind. “It is you who could do so much better.”

His words drew a gust of laughter from her lips. The mother had certainly chosen well, putting the two of them together. What a pair—she wondered who would relent first? Her, or Azriel? Who would believe they deserved a mating bond first? It occurred to Gwyn, as she reached for his arm to pull him closer, that she was a shade too competitive—she wanted it to be him who broke first. Who relented first, who believed he was worthy, was deserving. 

And she could see, from that golden glint burning in his own gaze, that he was thinking the exact same thing. 

“You’re stupid,” she whispered, surging up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. She could taste the smile spreading over his face, sweet against the warm heat of his mouth. It took her an embarrassing amount of time to realize he wasn’t smiling because she’d told him to stop talking, but because she was kissing him. Gwyn hadn’t even considered not kissing.

He was her mate, after all. He was hers. She felt that the way she felt her own heart, the possession, the desire, the heat. She didn’t feel the cord the way everyone spoke of, but perhaps that was mere metaphor. After all, Gwyn believed Azriel wouldn’t lie to her about something so life altering.

Besides. She liked kissing him, new as it was. Azriel was unhurried and thorough, just like every other task she’d ever seen him undertake. And for the first time in a long time, she wondered what it would be like if he paid her that sort of attention in the bedroom. They stood there like that, his arm keeping her on her toes, steady against his warm, solid body. Momentarily, Gwyn wondered what might happen if Nesta and Cassian were to come in and decided she didn’t care.

How many times had she walked in on them in far more compromising positions, besides? 

Tiny steps had Gwyn flush against the wood wall, pressed against Azriel’s hard body and oh. He wanted her. Wanted her in a way that emptied her mind of all other thought beyond the desire to touch him.

And she was allowed, she realized with giddiness. He belonged to her. It was a possessive thought that overrode everything else, including all her good sense. He was hers.

“Mine,” she whispered into his mouth, not meaning to. Azriel groaned, tangling a hand in her hair to tilt back her head, his tongue delving back between her teeth to really taste her. Without the leathers he usually wore, it was surprisingly easy to find the golden buttons on his jacket, undoing them before Azriel’s own brain seemed to catch up with what was happening.

His wings flared, enveloping around them for a moment as he pulled back, his breathing heavy.

“Cassian will be home soon,” he whispered, holding her close against him as if he expected his friend to take her away. “Nesta too.” “You have a bedroom here, right?” Gwyn said with more daring than she felt. Azriel’s once half-lidded eyes flew open, those hazel eyes searching her own. 

“I do,” he whispered, swallowing audibly. “There’s no rush—”

“Please?”

One moment she’d been standing there, her hand flat against the white, linen shirt Azriel wore beneath his jacket and the next her feet were in the air, her body cradled against him as he walked.

“I can’t think when you’re around,” Azriel was saying, his steps echoing against the wood. “Can’t think just looking at you. Sometimes I think I’ll wake up and this will have all been a dream.”

“It’s real,” she replied, pressing her lips to his neck. “I’m real. We’re real.”

He shuddered, all but running up a flight of stairs. There was no reaction when his wing clipped a door frame nor did he say a word when he had to use his nice shoe to slam his bedroom door shut. Gwyn wasn’t given the opportunity to really look around his space, either—though it seemed sparse and filled with dark, moody colors. 

Azriel had her on the bed, his own body over top her own before she could exhale the breath she’d just taken. 

“Tell me to stop,” he said, the maddening male. She would have told him she didn’t want him to, but he was kissing her again, his burning lips all but bruising her own. Drawing a leg up, Gwyn could line up their otherwise mismatched bodies so he was pressed exactly where she wanted him. 

They were going to do this. She wanted to do this. When she managed to take a breath, the taste of blood faint against her tongue, she rasped, “Take this off.”

Azriel was on his knees in a moment, shucking off his jacket before all but ripping off his shirt, too. There in the dark with nothing but silvery moonlight to illuminate him, Gwyn was allowed to really look at him. 

He didn’t move, a lock of dark hair half obscuring the intensity of his gaze. “All of it,” she decided before she lost her nerve. 

Azriel cocked his head, his lips pursed as though he’d tell her no.

“Please,” she added.

Azriel groaned again, softer this time. Somewhere in the house, a door slammed closed and a mingling of male and female voices rose like music, a soothing hum in the background as Azriel slid off the bed entirely.

Wings tucked tightly against his toned back, he quietly locked his door before turning back to her. “We don’t have to,” he said, his fingers hovering over the laces of his pants. Gwyn had a suspicion Azriel would spend the next century saying this and she’d spend the next century  reassuring him that she wanted all of it. All of him.

Maybe he’d realize in the morning when she snuck into the kitchen and begged the house for his favorite meal. She had no idea what it was, but surely the magic that governed this place did? Would he eat it from her hands? Or would he balk, certain this was just another dream?

“I know,” she said, leaning up on her elbows. “Take it all off, anyway.”

Gwyn knew what Azriel was wondering but her past was murky—forgotten in the dark, the ugly replaced with his easy, unassuming beauty. Still, she held her breath as he undressed entirely, drinking in the sight of him. This was the male she’d knocked to the ground, the very same that could kill another person without a second thought.

Underneath the thick, armored leathers and weapons lay just a male made of skin and bone. Gwyn’s eyes traced the tattoos adorning his shoulders and chest, the intricate swirls snaking up his neck and vanishing behind his back. Every inch of him was muscled, softer now that he was relaxed and still present just below the warm brown of his flesh.

And between his legs…

Gwyn giggled. She couldn’t help herself. It was so big—surely they weren’t supposed to be that large? That thick? There was an air of male pride shimmering around him, his legs spread a little wider as if to say, drink it all in. 

“Are you laughing at me?” he asked, his voice a dark, teasing growl. Prowling forward, Gwyn’s heart spiked loud enough he must have heard.

“I wasn’t prepared for…” For what? For him? Azriel was so quiet, so unassuming…she just assumed if he had all that going on he’d brag a little more? Swagger about the way Cassian always was? 

“I’d be a poor mate if I left you wanting,” he replied, his eyes glazed over once his knees hit the edge of the bed. Perhaps it was the sight of her, still dressed, scrambling on her hands and knees so she could crawl toward him. She just wanted to touch, to feel if his cock was as hard as it looked. 

Azriel sucked in a breath when her fingers curled around the base of his shaft, just barely touching. Looking up, she murmured, “Is this what you like?”

“I like you,” he replied, scooping up her hair in his hands as Gwyn stroked him experimentally. He choked out a sound, his heartbeat thudding in her ears. She supposed that was her answer—he liked the way she touched him.

Pride filled her chest knowing she could please her mate, even with something as simple as touching him. Gwyn stroked again, letting her wrist twist at the end as her eyes refused to leave his face.

“Gods,” he whispered, his wings tightening against his back. “I’ve imagined…Gwyn…”

She was allowed a third pass before he pushed her back, her clothes pulled off her body so quickly all she managed was to lift her hips and raise her arms. 

“Do you know how many nights I’ve laid in this exact bed and imagined you just like this?” Azriel began, his voice a dark, sultry whisper. “Splayed out…naked…undone?”

“No,” she squeaked out in response, half embarrassed to be undressed before him. Azriel’s gaze burned against her skin, warming a path from her collarbone to her thighs. 

“Would you like to know what I dream about at night?” he questioned, sinking to his knees so he was eye level with the edge of the bed. 

Arousal ribboned through her, making a fool out of her. “Yes,” she replied, strangely excited to be the object of this man’s fantasies. 

Strong, scarred fingers curled around her thighs, pushing them wider before hooking them over his shoulders. He was staring at her cunt, now, studying her like she was some priceless piece of art. 

“I dream of tasting you,” Azriel breathed, the warmth of his breath fanning against her. Gwyn squirmed when he kissed her inner thigh—the left, and then the right—before using his tongue to lightly take that first taste he’d been dreaming of. Gwyn might have asked him how he liked it had it not felt so good. 

Besides, she knew he liked it—Azriel groaned loudly, spreading her apart wider with his fingers so he could taste her everywhere. Gone was his slow exploration, his desire to take his time. All of it had been replaced with the animal kneeling between her legs, licking and touching her cunt like his life depended on it. 

All traces of her embarrassment evaporated, leaving only instinct behind. Gwyn surrendered to the urge, letting desire wash over her until it was all she knew. “Don’t stop,” she breathed, well aware he probably couldn’t. 

Azriel pushed a finger into her gently, moaning at whatever he felt. Gwyn hadn’t considered what it would feel like to share space with him—to feel him inside her own body but now…

“Az,” she panted, her hips rolling against his mouth and hand. She wanted him to stop licking, to replace his fingers with his cock. Heat was building in her chest beyond simple arousal, heavy like a chain. 

Unbreakable.

A bond. A real thread she could follow straight to the male between her legs. It reverberated and then snapped just as Azriel sucked her clit into his mouth, eliciting a scream that was half his name. Could he feel it too? No—his had snapped months ago and he’d just been living with it.

Gwyn couldn’t see how. If she didn’t have him right that second she might go insane. Reaching for his powerful biceps, Gwyn tried to pull him off her but the waves of pleasure made her hands shake. 

“Az,” she tried again, his name a breathy moan against her lips. Her hips moved of their own accord, grinding against him in what must have seemed like encouragement to keep going. Maybe it was—she didn’t try very hard to get him off her.

Azriel managed a third finger, a whine slipping from his throat at the effort. Gwyn just barely registered any of it, her body jerking a second time from pleasure so bright and heady she could have died from it. It was too much—Gwyn was burning, was in free-fall with no one to catch her.

Digging her nails into his skin, she yanked at him. Azriel emerged, lips wet and eyes wild. “Please,” she heard herself saying, the magic words that, apparently, could convince him to do anything she wanted. “I need you.”

His fingers were wet as they skimmed the side of her body, palm grasping her breast before his lips found hers. He tasted sweet and she supposed it was herself, truly, she was tasting on his tongue. He was hurried, his desperation making him sloppy. When his teeth clashed with her own, nipping the sensitive skin of her bottom lip, Gwyn had enough.

“Az—”

“Don’t beg me,” he breathed, pressing his forehead against her own. Caressing her cheek, Azriel added, “I’ll do whatever you want. You don’t have to beg.”

“I feel it,” she replied, running her hand up and down his spine. “It’s a real thread.”

Azriel exhaled with relief, a smile ghosting his pretty face. Whispering something that sounded like gratitude toward the gods, he adjusted his body until she felt the blunt head of his cock pressed against her. How had he stood it? The waiting, the wanting, the utter need that Gwyn was all but drowning in. If they didn’t do this, she thought she might die from it. 

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you.” It wasn’t a request, though Gwyn had no intention of telling him anything. She expected a little pain, expected little pleasure. Why else had he used his mouth first? 

Gwyn had read enough books to know that there was blood and pain and so when Azriel slid himself an inch into her, she braced herself against him, her nails digging into his biceps. She could feel his eyes on her, searching for even a hint of discomfort. There was something reassuring about knowing he’d stop if she wanted. That he cared if she enjoyed herself. 

Gwyn didn’t need a book to know not all males cared about such things.

Azriel took his time—like he knew he had eons of it, that he didn’t have to rush. Gwyn loved him for it, eyes burning with unshed tears at the thought. She’d tell him all this later, when they’d had a chance to breathe and eat and really talk about everything that had otherwise been left unsaid. Instead she dragged her lips down his neck and focused on the feeling of his cock in her body, pushing further and further without any of the accompanying pain she’d expected.

She was slick enough that he felt less like an intrusion and more like a welcomed guest, and once he’d seated himself entirely, it seemed as though they’d been made like two puzzle pieces destined to fit. 

It took a moment to get used to the stretch, to breathe despite the feeling of fullness. Azriel gave it to her instinctively, as if he knew exactly what she both wanted and needed. There was that same sense of I have all the time in the world, despite her knowing he was desperate. A bead of sweat slid from his temple, rolling down his neck and his arms shook from restraint.

He didn’t move. 

Not until her mouth made its way to his collarbone and she whispered, “Give me more.” He groaned loud enough to shatter the silence, pulling himself out with a slowness that bordered on madness. 

“You’re so wet,” he whispered, burying his face into her neck. “I’m losing my mind.”

She couldn’t help the exhaled smile, raking her fingers through his hair. “Did you dream of this, too?”

“No,” he admitted with a grunt, sliding his cock back into her body. “I didn’t dare.”

“Why?”

“Couldn’t,” he managed, thrusting again with a little more intensity. “Would have gone crazy from wanting you. Surprised you couldn’t smell it on me.”

As if she would have known what she was smelling. There was no point in telling him so—not as Azriel confessed the depths of his devotion, the lengths he’d gone to give her time, space, and whatever else she’d wanted. Would he have continued to do so forever? 

Gwyn kissed his cheek. “I want you. I want this.”

He groaned again, sliding his hand between their otherwise flushed bodies to rub at her still swollen clit. She’d been half distracted by his words to pay attention to her body but right then, when his thumb began making tight circles, Gwyn was pulled back under the depths of shadowed darkness, half consumed by the male laying on top of her. 

Their mouths met, messy and unrestrained. Strange how kissing merely heightened the pleasure coiling through her—Gwyn wouldn’t have guessed that. In her books, everything was so neat and clinical. They kissed, they touched, they fucked with nothing in between. In real life, sex was messier, more fluid. Or maybe she and Azriel merely had more passion than the people in her stories.

Those love stories had once brought her such joy. Now they seemed dimmed in comparison to what was happening to her and her own feelings. 

“I need to feel you come,” he whispered, betraying how close he must have been. Gwyn felt the same way. She needed to feel him, needed to see him wholly unraveled. All because of her—no one else was allowed to know what he sounded like, what he looked like. They got control, they got the ice but she got the heat, the impulsivity—everything he was, everything he’d ever been. 

Gwyn came to the thought of that future, tightening around him as her back arched her into his chest, offering very little give. Azriel kissed her, swallowing the sound of her moans greedily. They belonged to him, anyway. 

He came mere seconds later, his own noise of pleasure delightfully loud for a male that was so often silent. Gwyn kept herself wrapped tight around him, arms winding against his neck, her teeth sinking into his shoulder. His pumping was erratic, uncontrolled and a little desperate. Gwyn was obsessed with this side of him—wanted more of it.

Azriel didn’t withdraw when he was done, his heart thudding against her breast. “It’s not enough, is it?” she whispered, thinking they both ought to feel sated. She didn’t. In her books, the heroine was always spent, the hero falling asleep not long after. The pair would wake in each other's arms, content and glowing from the night before.

Gwyn wanted to shove him to the floor and climb atop him. Wanted to hear him beg, too—wanted more of the whimpering, the groaning and everything in between.

“It was never going to be,” he panted, kissing her softly. 

“How long will it last?” she wondered, brushing a damp lock of hair from his face.

“Eternity, I imagine,” he replied, his eyes burning with that same unflinching intensity. “For me, at least.”

Gwyn’s heart exploded, racing in her throat. “Are you hungry?” she whispered, deciding she couldn’t wait for the morning. She wanted to do this right now. Wanted him to know that this meant something to her, even if she was scared, too. 

Azriel went still. “There’s no rush—”

“That’s yes or no, Azriel.”

A smile broke over his face. “Starving,” he admitted in that dark, sultry voice. 

“You have to get up,” she reminded him, pushing half-heartedly at his shoulder. Azriel lowered his mouth for another kiss.

“In a minute.”

Strange how a minute could stretch.

Into lifetimes, even.

[eros-ghoulette]

Can you write something about Aether finding his place in the ministry after being a band ghoul for so long? I miss my man :(

(if not that's chill tho)

Five weeks.

Aether has reasons to retire, but it's still hard to do so. (Aether has anxiety)

Characters: Aether, Omega, Delta

Word count: 1450

One week.

One week since the band had left the abbey, and Aether looked up at the sky, stars reflecting in the dark purple of it; a galaxy of its own. The brightest star shone white in the black of the night, spending light in the hours of darkness.

There was a sigh, barely audible, and the quint looked down at his hands. While the stars were among others, he was alone. It had been the right decision to quit playing in the band, and still… the question remained. It haunted him more often than not and made him feel bad when happiness should reign. Was he wrong? Was the decision, his decision, the wrong one? Should he be there, on the road, on the stage? Was Phantom really ready to bear such a role?

And there it was… the anxiety he had hoped to cure by stepping down, by giving his place to the young one, it was back. And it hurt.

The last tour had made Aether feel the real impact of being in a band. He had started to doubt himself, counted every mistake, and overthought every action and movement. His joints started to hurt for hours after a show, the small bunks in the bus not helping at all.

It had been the right thing to retire.

But the anxiety wasn’t gone. It had been, for the time he was at home and with the others, and then a few days more. And now he couldn’t even pinpoint the reason for it. The point was, he was alone and felt helpless, and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

Two weeks.

Two weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether looked down at the phone in his hands. Pictures from the latest ritual Dew had sent him. The quint felt his chest tighten and put his phone aside.

“Do you want to help me in the infirmary today?”

Omega stood in the door, arms crossed over his chest, but his gaze was soft. The older ghoul knew Aether was feeling alone, lost even. He saw the younger’s face, watched it for days now, and he knew he had to do something. In times of turmoil, when the brain screamed, and the heart throbbed, in times like these, it was hard. And everything ached because the mental exhaustion couldn't keep up and transferred to the muscles and joints; so it would hurt less. To spread the pain on everything instead of keeping it in one place. But that’s not how it worked. That’s how physics worked, not creatures. And instead of making it less, it just got less bearable.

“Alpha said he has better things to do than do my paperwork every day,” Omega added with a smirk. “And no, I don’t want you to do my paperwork. You could help with the patients while I do the paperwork.”

Truth be told, Aether had no real desire to do anything today. But he also had no intention of turning the other’s request down and nodded.

“Sure,” he simply said, and stood up from the table. Aether had breakfast half an hour ago, but the energy to actually get up hadn’t been there. Now he had a reason to stand up. His phone slipped into his pocket as he walked next to Omega.

* * *

Three weeks.

Three weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether lay in his bed; awake. He had trouble sleeping, not much but enough to keep him up till late night. The quint guessed the reason for it was his desperate need for touch. He longed for it, every cell of his body wanting it so badly it overwhelmed him.

He could go to Ifrit and Zephyr, those two would most likely welcome him with open arms, but Aether felt like a burden at the bare thought of it. It’s not that he wanted sex, he wanted affection. Quiet words of praise, whispered in the night, almost just breathed and filled with soft tenderness. Physical affection, a body to hold, warm limbs intertwined with his, hands to stroke his belly and lips to kiss his forehead.

And still… That longing was hard to overcome when there was no one to give such affection. But his mind got calmer this past week, his body ached less, and his heart throbbed not so much anymore when he thought of his pack. The work in the infirmary was good. He talked much with Omega and Alpha often came by to join them. The tall fire ghoul may claim he hated paperwork, but he still helped when he could.

* * *

Four weeks.

Four weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether cried. Choked sobs left his throat, making it burn. Tears, unshed for too long, wetting his cheeks, seeping into his shirt. His hands trembled, body shaking, and he forced himself to breathe; just breathe. One rattling breath after another; in and out. And after minutes that felt like an eternity, he managed to stop.

A knock.

He flinched and listened. Breathe in… another knock. Breathe out.

“It’s open.” The quint’s voice was hoarse, nothing like his usual self. But whoever stood in front of his door would come in nonetheless, so why try to act tough?

And when the door opened, he scoffed at the ghoul that greeted him. Delta was no one he talked to often. It wasn’t that he didn’t like him, they just had no real connection with each other.

“I passed by and heard you,” the other explained. “Sorry if I’m uhm… I could leave if you like.” An awkward smile formed on his lips, and he looked incredibly unsure of himself.

Aether shook his head.

“No, you can stay,” he answered before he could think of anything else. There was a fondness in Delta’s gaze that made Aether trust him enough. And maybe he wanted it, he wanted someone to comfort him. Someone he wouldn’t need to search out for, someone that came by themselves, and here he was. Delta was here.

“May I sit?” the older one asked and pointed at the corner of the bed.

Aether nodded.

Delta moved, and the mattress dipped under his weight. He wasn’t looking at the younger.

“I know how you feel,” he began. “At least I think I do, kinda.”

Aether stayed quiet.

“You know? Your anxiety is smellable to everyone, but most just… don’t know what to do. Your pack would know I guess, but they aren’t here, so… I had the same problem, or I still have the problem from time to time.” He shrugged and sighed. “It gets better. You probably feel better even now after this… breakdown.”

“Mhh,” Aether made. He actually felt kinda better.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t bottle it up. But we all do that, and you won’t stop just from my saying. And I’m obviously not good at all this,” Delta chuckled a bit. “But how about I just stay here for a while, and we get to know each other?”

* * *

Five weeks.

Five weeks since the band had left the abbey, and Aether laughed at a joke Omega made while they cleaned up the infirmary room together. His phone rang, and Aether looked at it to find new pictures from his pack, Dew had sent.

And while it was still kinda sad that he was here, and they were there, he was sure now it had been the right decision. Talking to Delta and working with Omega made him happy. Last night, Delta had cuddled with him, and the desperate need for touch had been gone for those hours. Three days ago, Alpha and he had played guitar together, and it had been fun.

“Can you do the paperwork today?” The puppy eyes Omega could pull were hard to resist, and Aether rolled his eyes.

“Can you get me a sandwich for lunch?” he asked back and received a grin.

“On my way,” Omega saluted playfully and left the infirmary.

Aether sat behind the desk, humming a song. He was in a good mood, a great mood. The tightness in his chest was gone, and his mind stayed quiet. There were moments he thought it all might return, but even then… he now knew he wasn’t alone, he wasn’t lost. He was here, and his pack was there, but they would return, and he would still be here. The infirmary needed him, and he needed the tasks it set. And while he had that, he would be fine. It could be hard, but he had friends to rely on, and that was enough. This was his place now, a damn good one.

__________

I really hope this whole thing here is understandable 💀

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED

[tojisbbygworl]

How Could You - Hobie Brown x Reader

Summary: Hobie was not the best boyfriend. It’s not his fault, he has an obligation to his city and by proxy, the multiverse. But, he doesn’t want to lose you. Unfortunately, revealing his secret does the opposite of what he had hoped.

Tags: Angst, Hurt/No Comfort,Canon-Divergence, (Hobie doesn’t reveal himself after killing Osbourne, Comic villains and events but movie Hobie, He’s supposed to be British but I forgot like halfway through writing)

Words: 3147

author’s note: If I had a nickel for everytime a girl broke up with her superhero bf bcs he lied abt being a superhero I would have 2 nickels.

Honestly tho I rly don’t like the whole ‘I’m upset because you lied to me’ trope in the superhero genre. I feel like there’s a much better reason to break up with a superhero so here’s my idea. I’ll talk more abt it in the end note.

Anyway enjoy!

AO3 Version

My AO3

Masterlist

Soaring through the air with nothing but a thin string as support, fighting monsters 3 times his size sometimes from a different universe, killing the fucking Prime Minister; none of these things have brought him as much anxiety as he feels in this moment.

It was so late, after 2 in the morning, and he was rushing back to his apartment grunting in pain from his injuries. It’s never fun fighting Kingpin, but hopefully after tonight he won’t have to do that anymore. Kamala had finally discovered his new place of hiding, Osbourne’s old bunker.

No matter how badly his ribs stung with every thwip and pull, he didn’t let up or slow down for a second. You were waiting for him. You’ve been waiting for him since he left at 8. Fuck, it’s been 6 hours? How did he let time fly like that?

‘She’s going to kill me,’ he lightly joked to himself. His stomach turned, he knows deep down that you were getting down to your last straw. You’re always so sweet about his disappearances. He tells you he needs to go; “Being in-charge of a non-profit anti-establishment organization dedicated to the dismantling of our government doesn’t allow you to have much free time, love. I’ll be back,” he would say. Your gorgeous smile would present itself and he just has to give you a kiss before he leaves. That smile has become less bright in recent months.

You’ve started voicing your annoyance as well. “Yeah, so I’ve heard,” you would respond. Or, “Duty calls?” With an eye roll. His least favorite response was, “Why don’t you date the organization instead?” The chuckle you let out after that was so dry and your smile was so empty. It scared him.

There were times where he wasn’t there in the first place. He regrets those the most. He’s missed so many important things, some of which he couldn’t understand how or why you forgave him. He certainly wouldn’t have if he was in your position. You had to be an angel or something. Fuck, he loves you.

Tonight was supposed to be a shut-in date night. Just the two of you, some junk food, and a scary movie that you’ve been dying to see. His watch beeped with a message: got a lead on Fisk. He looked at you and you just…let him go. You didn’t smile, you didn’t frown, you just looked into his eyes and turned away.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” You didn’t respond, and at that moment, he decided that when he got back there would be no more secrets. No more sneaking around. No more lies. He loved you and you deserved to know.

From what he could see through the window, the lights were off. A part of him is relieved, hoping you weren’t awake so he could just take care of his injuries and slip into bed next to you. He would just have to wait to tell you tomorrow morning.

But, that plan is put to shit when he opens the window and quietly steps inside his living room. The tv is off and the snacks have been cleared. Hobie starts to panic. Did you go home?

He slips off his shoes in case you were sleeping soundly in his room and starts to walk slowly towards it. The door is cracked just a bit and the light is off there too. The entire apartment was shrouded in darkness, the only possible light coming through windows from the moon. He looks through the crack and relaxes upon seeing your silhouette in bed. He lets out a quiet sigh and creeps away to the bathroom.

“Hobie?” He freezes. A few seconds pass and he hears the bed creaking and feet shuffling across the floor. He still doesn’t turn around as his door opens to reveal you in your pajamas, face puffy, and eyes red.

You had been waiting for him to get home for what felt like forever. You were so excited earlier today, but there was this unrelenting churn in your stomach telling you that he would leave eventually. And of course, you were right.

Honestly, you didn’t understand why you were still with him at this point. You know he lies about where he is. You’ve known ever since he invited you to a protest his non profit put together. You told him you wanted to become an official member and he shot it down immediately. “Too dangerous for a peng-thing such as yourself,” he told you. He was right about it being dangerous, everyone was gassed and it hadn’t even been 15 minutes. But that didn’t matter. You wanted to be a part of it. Especially after they got to witness Prime Minister Osbourne’s beheading.

He didn’t even use it as an excuse most of the time. When you would wait for him to meet with you, his reasonings were fickle if he even had any.

“Got caught up with something,”

“One of my mates needed me, you know how that goes,”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m here now aren’t I?”

Oh, and there was your favorite, “Get off my back, will you? I’ve got a life too.” The times where he had nothing to say at all, as painful as it was, were much better. You were so sick of it and you just hoped that he could tell.

Right now, in this moment, you’re not sure because he still hasn’t turned around. You couldn’t see much in the darkness of the hallway, but you at least knew it was him and he was walking away. “You can’t even look at me?”

Hobie stood still, his mind racing. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to see the look on your face. He knew you were disappointed. He could hear it in your voice. “…I,” he clears his throat. “I didn’t think you would still be awake.” He cringes.

You blink at him. “You didn’t think I would still be awake?” You repeated vexedly, your voice growing stronger.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Hobie tries to save.

You closed your eyes and took in a sharp breath. “You know…if you’re cheating on me, I’d rather you be honest about it.”

Hobie finally turns around. In the dark, you can’t see his mask, but he can see you perfectly. You looked so dejected and it destroyed him. He could tell that you had been crying before he got here, and now you’re eyes were welling up again. His chest pangs.

“I don’t appreciate you leaving me without a word and coming back whenever you want,” you continue, your voice breaking. A tear slips down your face and you quickly wipe it away only for another to follow right after. “Do you think I’m stupid?” You sob, trying to remain strong as he walks towards you. “That I would just be okay with that shit?”

Hobie still doesn’t answer. Instead, he stands a couple feet away from you right next to the light switch. “Are you not going to answer me?” You growl at him. Still, nothing. “Ho-”

The light turns on. His name halts in your throat as you gaze upon him. Your tears don’t stop and you raise your hand to your mouth, a shaky gasp escaping you. Hobie finally peels his mask off to reveal his cut up face.

For a moment, there’s nothing but silence as you try and process this new information. Hobie was…Spider-man. Your boyfriend was Spider-man. That’s why. That’s why he was never there. That’s why he can never be there. Hobie opens his mouth, the breath he takes being enough to cut through the tension. “I’m sorry.”

He continues to walk towards you, praying that you don’t walk away. You’re frozen in place. “I’m so sorry.” He holds his arms out and embraces you in a tight hug relaxing into your arms when you lift them up and wrap them around his neck. You bury your head into his shoulders making his suit wet from your tears.

Hobie’s lips begin to quiver. He swallows a sob before speaking again. “I didn’t know how to tell you...” His voice cracks while trying to find the right words to say. “I just…I am so sorry for lying to you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

For a while, the both of you just stand there in each other’s presence. There was a feeling of anxiousness in the air; for Hobie, he was worried why you hadn’t said anything. As for you…

“Come on.” You grabbed his hand and walked the both of you to his bathroom where you sat him on the toilet and tended to his facial wounds. You remained completely silent, still trying to gather all of your thoughts. It made him all the more terrified.

Hobie repeatedly geared himself up to speak to you, but ultimately kept his mouth closed. What could he say? It was you who needed to talk. You needed to tell him how worried for him you would be. You needed to tell him how happy you were that he was okay. You needed to tell him how angry you were at him for lying to you.

You needed…you needed…

He needed you to say something. Anything.

But you didn’t know how to tell him. And when you were done with his face he stood up and took your hand to walk the both of you back to his room. You followed at first, but quickly stopped. He looked back at you in confusion, his heart racing. “What is it?”

You let go of his hand with him refusing to do the same. It went limp in his hold as you stared at the ground. Your eyes filled with tears and fell just as quickly. Without looking up, you finally told him what was on your mind. “I…I was going to break up with you tonight.”

His heart dropped. He releases a huff having been completely floored by that charged sentence. What do you mean you were going to break up with him? What do you mean there was no saving the relationship the moment he left? What do you mean he was too late?

His mouth opens and closes, trying to find the words to convey his shock. “Was?” He decides upon, foolishly hopeful.

The breath that you take in, the look on your face, and the tears falling down it killed anything inside him that held onto the possibility that you still wanted to be with him. So he lets go of your hand too. “No.” You say.

Hobie is appalled. His eyes dart around the hallway as his mind tries to make sense of what was happening. His breathing gets harder and faster. He begins to shake his head. “I don’t-,” he stutters, “I-I don’t understand.”

“Hobie-”

“I mean, I…” he hikes his shoulders up and holds up his hands. Finally, he looks at you. His chest aches at the sight of you, he’s never seen you so dejected. He gestures at himself. “You see…you see why.”

You walk towards him and put your hand on his chest to try and calm him down. It does nothing. Instead he holds his own hand over yours to keep it there. “And I am so glad that you trusted me enough to tell me. Your secret is safe with me, Hobie.” After telling him that, you lose any resolve you had and sob. Your voice is strained when you talk, and you have to take small pauses to catch your breath and remain coherent. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you missed my graduation-”

“I was almost eaten alive.” he quickly defends, remembering that annoying day. The Inheritors have become a very big nuisance since Osbourne’s death and are the reason for so many of his disappearances. He would explain all of this to you if you gave him the chance.

You scrunch your face with a look of confusion, but when he doesn’t explain any further, you continue. “And you missed my recital-”

“So I could keep Kraven from fucking up 38th street.” He was starting to get upset. It’s like you weren’t listening to him. He was Spider-man. Of course he couldn’t be there for every facet of your life. And you knew that now. So…what the fuck? “If I hadn’t done that, your mates wouldn’t have anywhere to live.”

You could hear the annoyance in his tone and body language, and it made you a little miffed. “I understand that-“

“Do you?”

You slap your head in frustration. “You’re not getting it, Hobie. You weren’t there-“

“Yeah, I fucking couldn’t be because I’m too busy trying un-fuck our city and everyone in it. Including you.” He says, slightly raising his voice. How dare you get mad at him when you’re the one who’s leaving? “I mean, I’m showing you why I can’t be there and it’s still not enough?”

You never stopped crying, but now you were pissed. You glared at him. “You think that fixes everything? It doesn’t change the fact that I stood outside the auditorium and waited for you right before and right after my name was called for nothing. Or that I almost fucked up my solo because I couldn’t think about anything besides the fact that you weren’t there.”

Hobie raises a finger at you. “I-”

“Stop interrupting me!” You shout, immediately recoiling but keeping your glare. Hobie blinks at you in disbelief. “Knowing that you were off saving the world does not mean I didn’t need you there with me when my sister was-” Choking on your words, you cover your mouth with your hand in a feeble attempt to hide the sob that escaped. Hobie’s anger dissipated and all that was left was utter heartbreak.

You took a second to recollect yourself, shying away from his touch when he reached out to you. He drops his arm by his side. “I don’t understand,” he whispers, his voice breaking.

Taking another deep breath, you drop the ball on him , finally. “If you’re worried I’m going to go off and tell Jonah Jameson-”

“No,” he practically shouts. “I’m not fucking worried about that. I’m upset, because my girlfriend is breaking up with me!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me!”

Hobie slams his hands against his head and walks away from you, panting. All you can do is watch him, anticipating his next move. Bracing yourself for whatever he’ll say out of anger.

After a few moments of breathing, he drops his hands and turns to look at you. “So what you just-don’t love me anymore?”

“What?”

“Is that it? There’s someone else?”

You furrowed your brows and looked around the room wondering where the hell he got that from. “The fuck? No!”

“So why don’t you want to be with me anymore?”

You groaned in frustration and covered your face with your hands. He just wasn’t getting it. “That’s not what I’m saying-”

“The fuck are you saying?” His voice louder than it’s ever been towards you.

“I want to be with you, Hobie,” you tell him, the tears never ending. Your voice, as loud as it is, shakes and cracks. Hobie grabs his hair, his mind completely scattered. You were confusing him left and right. Why can’t you just come out and say-

“I don’t want to be with Spider-Man.”

Everything seems to stop. The only sound being you calming yourself down as you take some deep breaths. You couldn’t look at Hobie, you just couldn’t. As for him, he couldn’t stop looking at you utter disbelief and heartbreak.

His bottom lip quivered as it hung open. His nostrils began to flare. His chest rose and fell as he felt the lump in his throat grow. Why won’t you look at him? Please look at him…please?

“You…I don’t…” he simply can’t find the words to describe how he felt. To put it simply, you were breaking his heart. He loves you. He fucking loves you so much. It hurts that there’s nothing he can do to fix this. He can’t just stop being Spider-Man, no matter how hard he’s considering it at this moment.

He doesn’t know what yo do. He’s so hurt. He’s so…fucking…angry.

“Get out.” He says, looking at the ground.

You jerk your head up at him. Wiping your eyes, you ask him, “What?”

Hobie angrily puts his mask back on. “Get the fuck out,” he repeats, louder this time. You don’t move. You didn’t want it to end like this. Was it really going to end like this? No…

“Ba-Hobie,” Slip of the tongue. But it was too late, he heard it and it broke him even more.

“I don’t want you here when I get back.” He turns away from you and stalks towards the window. Without looking back once, he lifts it open and hops back out into the night.

You slap your hand over your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut. This feeling in your chest, you wanted to lie down and scream at the top of your lungs. You were hoping he understood, that you could reason with him, but now you were left a lonely shell of your former self. You would hate yourself for breaking his heart the way you did. As you gather your things and leave the apartment, you start to wonder, was this even worth it?

On the trek home, you decided; yes. It hurt, but nothing would compare to the pain of him not being there at the hospital when you told him you needed him there. All the moments that you needed the man you loved and he was no where to be found, you found joy in knowing that you would never experience that again.

You weren’t angry with Hobie anymore. You knew why things were the way they were now. But, that’s not a love life that you wanted. That was the most difficult thing you had to do, but you had to do it. You weren’t going to be a superhero’s girlfriend. You just weren’t. You hoped he understood one day.

And he will. But for now, Hobie watches you leave the building with a hole in his heart and hatred in his mind. For now, you just don’t want to make it work with him. Hobie knows the two of you are meant to be, he just wishes you would understand that-

No. He wishes you would accept him. You don’t . And that destroys him.

For now, you simply don’t love him enough to accept him for what he is. A huge part of him was scared of this, and would you look at that, it came true.

He was so confused. So hurt. How could you. How could you?…

ending a/n: Hi! How was it? I hope I wrote it well. I really wanted to make sure it was clear that they both are valid in their feelings about the whole thing. It made sense that it would all blow up and not end well and I think it’s very easy for someone who is dealing with a lot of emotions to not really think rationally or listen to the other person.

If you read this whole thing and was like ‘what is wrong with her’ let me try to explain my thought process. She doesn’t want to be with a superhero. She wants to be in a relationship with someone who can be there for her. Hobie was never there, if he was it was few and far between. And that’s bcs of his obligation to the world and multiverse. That’s no one’s fault. She gets that. So she’s going to find someone who CAN give her the time she needs. Someone who doesn’t have a duty to the world. Someone who can focus on her as much as she does for them.

Of course, Hobie isn’t going to understand that. All he hears is that she doesn’t want to be with him. So, he’s thinking irrationally, not really listening to what she’s saying. Taking things the wrong way bcs he’s heart broken.

I like where I ended it, but I am very open to a pt 2 in the future where they’ve gotten over it (or maybe not 👀) but they’re not going to get back together. It’ll be like closure unless I decide to never let Hobie heal from it. Hmmmm. Idk idk idk!

Anyway, I hope you guys understood my thinking and enjoyed this version of this trope. I don’t think I’ve seen it done before, it would be nice to start a trend of this. I would love to see how other people interpret this. Please feel free to discuss this particular topic more with me if you would like! I don’t bite! Y’all have a good one🩵🩵

AO3 Version

My AO3

Masterlist

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

💖 Crazy for you 💖

After an embarrassing almost kiss under the mistletoe with your boss Eddie you're determined to move on.

You're the nanny to his adorable son and have been crazy about Eddie for months but now you know you needed to move on after the events at his Christmas party.

Except it isn't so easy and Eddies feelings aren't so platonic.

Authors note: This idea has been in my head for days and I just had to write it 💖

Older Eddie Munson x Reader. Reader is in her late 20's. Eddie is 41.

Warnings: Angst, Dad Eddie Munson, fluff. Jealous Eddie.

Don't copy, reuse or repost my work.

💖

Being in love with your boss wasn't exactly the best idea you had ever had.

It's just Eddie Munson was the most amazing man you had ever met and you had fallen for him over the last year you had been working with him.

Cole's mother wasn't in the picture. She and Eddie were a fling that resulted in a pregnancy.

She had left Cole with Eddie and Uncle Wayne when he was born, she wanted nothing to do with Eddie or the baby and so she left.

How anyone could leave these sweet boys you would never know.

When you were first landed the job as Cole's nanny Eddie was a little stand offish, it took him a little while to open up but once he did it was amazing. You got to know him really well and began to fall for him.

He was without a doubt the sexiest man you had ever met and you struggled to hide your feelings a lot of the time.

Coupled by the fact that Cole was the sweetest little boy and Uncle Wayne was an abosloute angel, you settled into the job quickly and being with Eddie and Cole felt like it was always meant to happen.

Tonight there was a party at Eddie's for Christmas and you were enjoying a few drinks, it wasn't often that you drank alcohol but you wanted to enjoy the night.

The only trouble was that the alcohol made you braver than normal. That wouldn't normally be a problem but tonight it was.

When you were left alone with Eddie, belly filling with butterflies as he stood close to you the feelings had for him began to get harder and harder to ignore.

Mistletoe hung from the ceiling and Eddie's eyes twinkled as he looked up at it.

"Ahh shit, it got us princess" he teases and you smile as he kisses your cheek.

It was stupid but you leaned up to kiss him and you knew it was a mistake as soon as his eyes widened and he moved away.

Mortified you stammer out and apology and his eyes pain.

"Shit, we can't. We can't do this" you nod and move away from him kicking yourself internally for thinking that he wanted to kiss you.

"I'm sorry Eddie. I should go" you suddenly feel very very sober and grab your jacket. Eddie gently tugs your arm.

"You don't have to leave. It's fine sweetheart, we can just forget it. It's okay" you shake your head.

"I really should go" you don't want to see the pity in his eyes. Know he doesn't feel that way about you.

Fuck you should have known.

❤️

Sleep comes slowly that night once you're home, everytime you wake up you remember trying to kiss Eddie and anxiety fills you.

You couldn't believe how badly you had messed up. Embarrassment floods through you, practically burning the memories from last night into your brain.

Fuck, why did you try to kiss him? he was so sweet how he let you down so gently and you're kicking yourself that you thought he felt the same, that you almost jeapordized the job you loved.

Nancy brings you aspirin and you down it quickly. She rubs your shoulder and you feel sick to your stomach as you tell her what happened.

"I haven't got drunk like that in ages but I thought I'd let loose for one night and have a few drinks and then Eddie was being all sweet and I fucked up, I tried to kiss him and I'm so stupid"

Nancy hugs you as tears run down your cheeks. The rejection feels awful too and every part of you aches.

"He let me down really gently but I'm just so mortified" Nancy soothes you.

"Well maybe it's a good thing you know how he feels. Now you can move on. Jonathan says Nick keeps asking about you, why don't you give him a chance you might really like him?"

Maybe that was exactly what you needed, you find yourself nodding and cuddle back into bed.

At least you could use your day off to get rid of this hangover and give some distance between you and Eddie. Hopefully when you went back to work you could forget this ever happened.

❤️

True to Nancy's word she did tell Jonathan to talk to Nick and that's how three days after the party you had a date.

It couldn't have come at a better time because while Eddie hadn't mentioned the kiss but there was a tension in the air between you. It made you feel even worse, you had totally screwed up.

Nick was cute and it was part of your plan to get over Eddie. It was time you stopped daydreaming about him liking you, he didn't and you had to accept that.

He went on dates with beautiful women and he had never once looked at you in any way other than a friend and his employee, you needed to stop deluding yourself.

Since you were finishing your shift before your date it was a little tight for time, however you squeezed in time to change into one of your best dresses and apply a little bit of make up.

Eddie was singing with Cole and it warmed your heart, the urge to just go and spend time with them and forget your date was overwhelming but you know you needed to do this.

With a spritz of perfume you walk out to where Eddie is and he blinks looking stunned, his response makes your heart quicken.

"You going out with friends tonight?" he asks as you grab your jacket.

"Oh um no, I have a date" you don't expect a reaction or anything so it's a suprise when he stiffens as Cole toddles up to you and beams.

"A date?" you nod.

"Yeah. It's been a while. I'm so nervous" you admit and he softens.

"Don't be... You look beautiful sweetheart" he murmurs.

The doorbell rings and you hurry to answer it feeling flustered at Eddie's eyes burning into you as you answered it.

Nick was standing outside and whistles when he sees you.

"Wow, you look good babe" his smile disappears as you feel Eddie right behind you. Chancing a glance at him you notice the way his big brown eyes are flashing and his jaw is tense as he looks Nick up and down.

"You're the date?" Eddie demands and Nick chuckles.

"Quick as a cat huh dude?" he smirks and Eddie's eyes narrow. It was a stupid comment and you're disappointed. It would be nice if Nick could make a good impression with Eddie.

"How did you meet?" Eddie's tone is low and there's a hint of something in it, venom like and you're confused at why he's pissed.

He could just feel protective you reason as Nick launches into the story of how you met through Jonathan and Nick had wanted to date you for ages.

Eddie is still tense as you grab your coat and he takes you to the side as Nick waits for you.

"The bedroom is set up for you for later. I do appreciate you coming back tonight. You know how Cole loves when you stay over. I'm really grateful sweetheart"

Nick sighs loudly and looks at his watch and you cringe as Eddie's eyes narrow.

"Call me if you need to leave early, if he's an asshole, anything happens you call me okay?" you nod and your heart melts when Cole toddles over to you and hugs your legs.

"Bye bye" he murmurs sadly and his puppy brown eyes and little pout nearly make you cancel the date all together.

"Hey sweetie. I'll see you first thing in the morning. We can watch your favourite cartons yeah?" Cole brightens and smiles happily until Nick walks over to you and him.

"Hey little guy" Cole narrows his eyes and turns away from Nick.

"Poo poo head" he points at Nick and you gape and nearly burst out laughing but control your face expression.

"Cole that's not nice" Eddie tells Cole who still doesn't look impressed. Sensing it's time to go you hug Cole one more time and head out with Nick.

Hopefully the actual date went better...

❤️

Yeah, the date was a disaster.

Nick had left you at the resteraunt and had stormed out in a huff when he kissed you. You had tried to like it, you really did but you felt nothing and when Nick tried to go further than a kiss.

His words of anger ring in your ears and the last few days catch up with you and you feel tears roll down your cheeks.

Why did you have to fall for someone so unattainable? Dejected you call a cab to take you back to Eddies.

It suprises you when you head inside that Eddie is waiting up for you. He's sitting on the couch, dressed in slacks and a tight white t shirt, his hair in a bun. He looks so effortlessly gorgeous and your heart aches with want.

"Hi, you didn't need to stay up" he shrugs and stands up as he accesses you.

"You've been crying?" Shit, you forgot how perceptive he was.

"Date didn't go like I hoped" Eddie's eyes flash with anger.

"Did that fucker upset you?" you shake your head and settle on the couch.

"No, I mean we kissed and I felt nothing and Nick wasn't happy about that. I really did try to like him but the spark wasn't there. He ranted at me and stormed off" he takes your hand and squeezes it.

"You should have called me. He sounds like a douchebag to me princess" it makes you smile a little bit.

"I guess I just wanted to meet a nice guy instead of being so into... You freeze and shake your head, cursing yourself for nearly saying how you felt about him.

"Into who?" you swallow and look away from his big brown eyes because you'll give in and tell him everything.

"It doesn't matter. It's stupid" he gently tilts your cheek so you look at him.

"Tell me"

"I want you but I know you don't feel the same and I messed up on Saturday but" You panic as the words spill out and he caresses your cheek which stops you mid sentence.

"You didn't mess up sweetheart. It took me be suprise when you tried to kiss me, I never thought you could feel that way about me, I panicked and I've been kicking myself ever since"

Oh...

Eddie kisses you passionately and you respond to the kiss pulling him closer to you.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away princess. I do want you, I've never felt this way about anyone ever. I don't want you to date that fucking douchebag, that boy has no idea how to treat an angel like you"

He presses a kiss to your forehead and you rest your head and you wrap your arms around him.

"I'm going to take you out tomorrow. Uncle Wayne won't mind babysitting, he's been wanting me to admit how I feel about you for a long time" his confession makes you giddy and you agree beaming.

"I'd love to"

"I'm going to spoil you rotten princess, you're my girl and I want you to be mine, always"

Always, you liked the sound of that.

💖

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for hiding a new relationship from our friends?

My friends (A (F20), B(F18), and E(F18)) and I (F18) are freshmen in college. A few weeks into the beginning of the year, E & I started hooking up (FWB situation) and A & B got together (more serious, but an open relationship). Eventually E clearly got fucked up about some stuff happening at home and we stopped having sex because I was concerned it was affecting our friendship/was uncomfortable with how we were interacting-- this was amiable. shortly after B became very irritated with E's behavior (mostly her behavior toward me), started being rude to her and attempting to remove her from our group (made E's anxiety worse-- she was throwing up constantly).

One night the three of us were drinking without E so that B could have some vent space (I disagreed with a lot of what she was saying, but this was the situation I was in) and when B left to go to their dorm for the night I stayed in A's room for a while to sober up. During this time A and I hooked up for the first time. A told me not to tell E or B until she felt more sure of her feelings.

The next morning, E asked me point blank if I had been with A + B the night before and I told her I hadn't. Later, she saw us kiss (while we were all drunk)-- I panicked, kissed her too, and told her not to tell B. She asked me later if anything was happening between A and I and I told her no. Throughout all this, A + B were still together, although A was spending more and more time with me. I'm a naturally flirty person, so B suspected something and started being cold to me.

Finally, about two weeks later we tell B and then A. B takes this very badly and doesn't talk to any of us anymore (she spoke with A shortly after but spent most of the time calling the two of us names), while E sort of shrugged it off but has been a little weird. E says that she thinks B has a right to be upset because part of B + A's open relationship was an agreement that they would say if they started hooking up with other people, and B saw me as her best friend here after her relationship with E fell apart. A + I think that it's fair to want time to explore a brand new relationship before you tell your friends, plus I was just respecting her wishes about who we told and when. I never lie, and told E that I would never lie to her outside of this situation, which was just because A asked me to. B + E don't talk and A + E have a tense relationship now. E (still my best friend after A, although we r much more distant now) says that she's worried about A hurting me because of how our relationship started.

I'm worried that our friend group falling apart is my fault. AITA here?

(Bonus-- A + I are together now and still hang out with E a lot. A has ADHD and is really slow at getting ready to go places. Sometimes that means that, even with my best efforts, we're an hour+ late to plans with E and she has to wait for us alone. AITA for this?)

What are these acronyms?

[neteyamssyulang]

Edging

Day 20

Pairing: Lo’ak aged up x Fem Omaticaya reader

Summary: You’ve been busy all day with hardly any time for your beloved mate, so once your finally done you decide to give your mate a small surprise.

Warnings: Handjob, Sub Lo’ak, Dom Reader, Whiny Lo’ak, Oral (M receiving), Mommy kink, Edging ofc.

Word count: 955

Translation(s): Yawne -> Beloved, Muntxatan -> Male spouse, Paskalin -> Honey.

A/N: I love subby lo’ak thou I’m not sure how well this will do 🥲

Tags: @teyamsatan @pandoraslxna

Your day was exhausting, having not only to do your chores but also Amitsa’s chores. The bitch just gave them to you while she faked being sick, sometimes you just wanna throw her to a palulukan and leave.

Unfortunately you can’t, and because of her you don’t have any time for your lovely mate. Normally you have time to sneak off and spend time with him before heading back and finishing up but thanks to Amitsa you can’t.

Eventually you finish up and start the walk back to your hut, it’s not that long maybe 5 or so minutes before you enter seeing your mate sharpening his spear for the hunt tomorrow.

“Hey mamas” Lo’ak beams looking at you before getting up pulling you into a warm embrace. “My sweet boy, did you miss me?”

He nodded his head “Missed you so much..” You smile softly “I’m sorry baby.. Amitsa faked being sick so she gave her chores to me.”

Lo’ak tenses hearing her name, see before he was with you he had been with her except she treated him so badly. She didn’t care lo’ak had separation separation anxiety, instead of holding or being close to him she’d shove him away and go hang around her male friends.

She’d use him for her pleasure only, when he went home late after training she expected HIM to fetch their food, she wouldn’t wear anything he made for her. What hurt him the most was when he planned a surprise for her birthday but as he went through the flap of her hut he saw her getting railed by someone else.

It broke your heart when he told you all of this, so naturally it took awhile for him to trust anyone again. You and him were friends until out of the blue one day you asked to court him, he was confused on why you’d wanna be with him thinking low of himself.

You gave him all the reasons why, he was funny, kind, bit of a skxawng at times but nevertheless you loved him. Each day you brought him new courting gifts like neck pieces, armbands, waist beads, or even his favorite food. He was nervous but he returned the favor making you a beautiful beaded necklace which you happily accepted and wore with pride.

Even to this day you have it on, you loved the way his face lit up when you wore the gifts he made. A week after your courting you got his parents blessing as he got your parents blessing. The two of you became bonded for life that night and you’ve never been more happy.

“Shh it’s ok” you hold him closer rubbing soothing things circles along his back. “You don’t have to deal with her anymore ma’muntxatan..”

He sighs pulling away “I know, I’m grateful to have you now yawne, you don’t know how much you mean to me” he kisses your cheek softly.

You smile and pepper kisses all over his face making him giggle, it was so cute. But looking down your not surprised to see the outline of his already hard cock, he only got this way with you, not anyone else, not even her.

“Already hard Paskalin?” You grin looking back up at his face, his beautiful blue skin now has a faint pink hue on it.

You drop down to your knees untying his loincloth, his cock springs out slapping against his stomach making him groan.

Slowly you kiss your way up from his balls all the way to his tip giving him kitten licks. Your mate moans softly “Mommy please..”

“Please what darling? Use your words” you say looking up at him. The pink hue on his face is more prominent now, he gulps looking down at you.

“I..” he licks his lips “I need your mouth wrapped around me..” Your ears perk up and you smile, “Good boy” praising him before you take him into your mouth.

Lo’ak moans moving his hands to fist your hair which you slap away. He’s about to protest when he sees your eyes narrowed at him.

You start moving bobbing your head taking him as far as you can without gagging. The hut fills with the sweet sound of his whimpers

His cock throbs in your mouth signaling he was about to cum, but before he could you pulled off his cock with a pop.

“Mommy why..” he whines, “Shh sweet boy, you’ll get what you want.” Taking his cock in your hand you begin to pump him gradually picking up speed.

He groans holding back his whimpers making you tsk “Be a good boy and let mommy hear your pretty little whimpers.”

You swipe your thumb over the slit in his cock coaxing out his whimpers, “Pl-please can I cum?”

“Not yet sweet boy”, your mates desperate cries fill your ears as once again you pull off him at the last second.

Tears roll down his face “Why do you tease me like this?”, “I’ll be worth it yawne” you coo slowly starting to pump his shaft again.

Lo’ak whines from his cock being so sensitive after you denying him release. His hips gradually thrust towards into you making you take more of him down your throat.

Deeming it has gone far enough you allow him to fuck your throat raw as he chases his orgasm. Broken moans and sobs leave him as he gets near that sweet sweet release you kept on denying him.

With one last thrust he holds your face against his pelvis cumming down your throat, as he pulls away you swallow everything licking your lips.

“T-thank you mamas..” he pants smiling softly.

“Anything for my good boy.”

[kvrokasaa]

karasu comforting overachiever!reader with a lot of anxiety?

my exams are around, ive cried 6x and had a mental breakdown in 3 days. and im a good student at heart but not on paper. im trying😭

take care! love❤️

I can relate to this sm, I promise myself that I’ll study but then it gets late n all I wanna do is sleep lmfao. But I hope you’re doing alright, love. Remember to drink lots of water and eat lots of food! And take breaks when studying so you don’t get headaches!

Sorry I posted this so late, but here it is.

Cw: crying, fluff, comfort, friends to lovers, cursing, not proofread. lmk if i missed any!

Wc: 1.1k

Overachiever!

Karasu is like your best friend, he’s always been there for you and promises he always will. Even when he left for a program called Blue Lock, he still managed to talk to you. Especially when you were going through a nasty breakup with your ex. He has always been there for you.

Something Karasu noticed over the years of being your friend; you’re an overachiever and a perfectionist. You have to get good grades, it’s like it was hard-wired in your brain since you were a child. If you didn’t get a good grade, even on a test that was optional or didn’t have any impact on your overall grade, you would feel so ashamed and full of anxiety. You were afraid of your teachers hating you, honestly, you’re just afraid of authority figures. You would always try to hide your feelings behind a fake smile, and sometimes it worked. But this time it didn’t.

You were in your room studying, all day long. No matter how many times people tried to pester you, or ask you to take a break, you would decline and go back to studying. You needed to get a good grade. You had stayed up all night long studying and going over the crucial information that would be on the final.

So why? Why do you have an 84% on your final? Why isn’t it at 100? Other people congratulated you, saying that the test was really hard. But you know that Mia, the top student, got the perfect score without even trying.

You tried this year, you really did. You made a resolution that you would try your hardest this year; that you wouldn’t give up so easily like last year. And you know that bad habits die hard, but you were doing so well. Even though this isn’t your last year, you feel like you failed at school.

‘Take a deep breath. Failure is the one pathway to success.’ Karasu’s words came floating into your mind. But you could still feel the onslaught of the tears and the tightness of the pain in your chest. You tried to take a deep breath but it wasn’t enough, it felt like all the oxygen in the world just vanished.

You don’t know how you got home, all the memories of the people saying ‘Good job’ and ‘Don’t beat yourself up, you did better than me’ are the only ones you can remember. All you want to do is crawl into your bed and cuddle your stuffed bear while you cry. But you have to study more; you have to study for your next classes. You can’t just give up because of one class. Oh but how badly you want to.

A sudden knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts. “Come in.” You cringed at the crack in your voice, quickly you straightened your posture and pretended to be okay.

But all of that faux hope and happiness faded away when you saw the unmistakable blue eyes. The tears came rushing back, along with the shaky breaths.

Karasu walked over to your desk and smiled down at you. “Hey, just wanted to stop by,” his hand raised, revealing a bag with your favorite restaurant name. “I brought your favorite.” His voice died down, almost to a whisper when he saw your tears.

You quickly wiped them, but the red streaks were still there. He sighed and sat down on your bed. “It’s okay, Y/n. Stuff like this happens, don’t worry about it too much.” You shook your head. “No, I should worry about it,” he raised a brow. “Why?”

You felt a little agitated because he couldn’t understand. Of course he couldn’t, he’s always been the type of person to get good grades without even trying. Knowing him, he probably slept through most of his classes and still got a 95 or higher on his final. Typical Karasu.

“Because who would I be if I don’t have good grades? I know that grades don’t matter much in the world, but I’m the one who feels the shame. I’m the one who has to remember what it feels like to try your hardest and still fail.” You felt like pulling your hair out, breaking things, just something to ease your mind. To ease the pain.

He brings his hands up to your cheeks, squishing them a little which brings a smile to his face. “Remember what I always tell you. ‘Failure is a pathway to-’ ” “To success. I know that, but still,” You move your head, making him release his grip. “I don’t want to fail, I don’t want people to remember me as the person who always failed.” Your voice was almost higher than a whisper, but he still heard you loud and clear. Karasu could hear and feel the pain from your voice.

“You-” you release a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. “You wouldn’t understand.”

‘Ironic’ he thinks, you’re the one who’s not understanding. A simple grade doesn’t define who you are as a person.

“Y/n look at me.” He grabs your face, “You are doing your best, you’re trying your fucking hardest and I’m so proud of you for that. You’re way smarter than what people give you credit for.” You try to shake your head, but his grip on your jaw tightens. “No. I don’t want to hear you deny anything. You need to understand that it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to feel helpless after a bad grade. But it’s not okay to beat yourself up. Don’t worry too much about how this grade, which is a passing grade, will affect your future.”

Karasu pulls you in for a hug. You close your eyes and bury your face in his chest. “You’re in the present right now, not the future. And I’m sure the future you are a CEO; trust me I can see it.”

You both laugh at his words. You sniffle and look up at him, “thank you, I really needed that.” He nods his head; his eyes looking from your eyes to your lips. “Anytime, I mean it.”

This is what you expected, a lecture and comfort from Karasu. It’s what you wanted. But what you didn’t expect was his lips on yours. Before you could enjoy the moment, he pulled back and smiled down at you. “Safe to say that I think you return my feelings,” your eyes darting everywhere but his and your little nod was a good enough answer for him. “And as much as I want to kiss you again. Our food is getting cold.” He pulled you down onto the bed along with the bag of food. “Let’s eat.”

[ultzwoozi]

“ how could you love me..? ”

currently playing: heart like yours by willamette stone

pairings: woozi x gn!reader genre: angsty fluff ; one-shot warning(s): panic attack, slight mentions of insomnia and insecurities. reader kinda has separation anxiety word count: 0.7k authors note: something a bit angsty, i could js imagine woozi being actually good at comfort <3

summary: your boyfriend catches you in the midst of a panic attack, he comforts you and tries to find a way to help you

“ … Breathe deep, breathe clear Know that I'm here, know that I'm here Waiting Stay strong, stay gold You don't have to fear, you don't have to fear Waiting ”

breath in, breath out. thats what you were taught in situations like this. but nothings coming out. you feel like your suffocating, like the walls are closing in on you. sitting on the floor in the shared bedroom of you and your boyfriend, you try to calm yourself down. the lights are dimmed and its late at night, the neighbors were asleep. no one could hear you even if you wanted them to.

jihoon wasnt home. he hasnt been home for over 4 months, hes been on tour. hes finally coming home, but its all setting in. its hitting you harder than a truck, you missed him badly. you realize being so far away from him was a issue. you realized theres a possibility he could stop loving you on the way, theres a possibility he couldve met someone new, theres a possibility he could forget about you. you were overthinking. tears were running down your cheeks and you were hyperventilating badly.

the sleepless nights without him, the fear running through your head, thoughts starting to take up your mind, everything was making you crumble on the floor besides your bed. your ears started ringing, you couldn’t even hear the front door open.

“ … I'll see you soon, I'll see you soon ”

jihoon opened the front door with his keys and immediately could tell something was wrong. “y/n?” he called out, hoping you’d hear, but to no avail you couldn’t. he could hear the faint sobs coming from your room. even with how tired he was from all the traveling, he dropped his stuff by the door and ran over to your shared room. seeing you sitting on the floor, hyperventilating and sobbing, immediately got him worried. without another thought, he walked over and held you in his arms.

“hey hey its okay.. im here now.” he rested your head on his chest. you flinched a bit by the touch of him, not aware he was home yet, let alone in your room. after a minute, you melted into his arms, sniffling and sobbing lightly. your breathing slowly regulating as he whisper sweet nothings into your ear, making sure youre alright. he drew circles on your back, watching the rise and fall of your back.

once your breathing regulated to normal, jihoon pulled your face away from his chest and cupped your cheeks in his hands. “wanna tell me what happened?” he wiped away some tears with his thumb as he looked at you, pure worry filling his eyes.

“ … How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine? How could I live before? How could I have been so blind? You opened up my eyes You opened up my eyes Sleep sound, sleep tight ”

“i.. i don’t know its just..” you felt more hot tears begin to roll down your cheeks as the thoughts began to come back. “i started to over think.. and everything started to hit harder and.. god i missed you.” he felt a pain in his heart. he knew it could effect you being gone for so long for the first time in your relationship, but he didn’t think this could happen.

“i missed you too.. im so sorry.” he kissed your forehead and rested you back on his chest. you stayed there in a comfortable silence until your tears dried. after the soft moment, you spoke up.

“how could you love someone like me? you have so many options.. what if you meet someone beautiful when you’re out there?” that got him. that was what broke his heart. thinking in the case that you think of yourself so low. jihoon stayed silent for a moment, trying to think of the right words to say. it hurt that you doubted him. he kept drawing circles in your back as he thought.

“i like the y/n i have here. the loving, sweet, person i’ve grown to love. i don’t need anyone else. i need you. and i promise, im never gonna leave you alone again. you’re coming with me on tours from now on, i can’t leave you here like this.” with that he picked you up and carried you to your shared bed. he held you close to his chest. you snuggled up into his side and slowly found yourself resting in his arms. the tiredness from the traveling hit jihoon, and soon enough he fell asleep holding you tightly as if you were gonna disappear if he didn’t.

[fxdizz-y]

PiTY Party

A/N ; i saw this little trope with a loser character and i GOT to write it! english isn't my first language so PLEASE bear with me :( SYNOPSIS; Your father decided to take you to a little social gathering with all his fellow alumni, little did you know that certain someone has their eyes on you.

c/w; IT'S LOWKEY BADLY WRITTEN!! eventual smut, age gap, bondage, sex, breathplay, anal, m!sub to m!dom, throatpie, creampie, praise kinks, degradation, sex against the wall, bending over the sink, mirror sex, 'sir' kinks, kinda gay, brat taming, lowkey daddy issues hitting hard, hatefuck turns into love making, threats, s&m, overstimulation, breeding kink, destruction

"Son, we're here." Your father's voice shook you awaked, as your eyelashes fluttered open. Your neck felt sore from the uncomfortable sleeping position as you sat up on the passenger seat, a light groaned escaped your lips when you felt the kink in your neck.

Your hand reached up to rubbed your eye tiredly, before looking out the window. The large familiar cabin was glowing dimly, lighting up the otherwise dark forest.

You can hear laughters and lights conversation sparks from the inside and a small, bubbling anxiety soon start to set in your stomach. God you hated social events.

Your father decided to hosted a little party, to celebrated his promotions or something like that. However, instead of renting a place, he decided to host it at the family's summer cabin. You at first didn't want to go, but your mother too press you on about it, telling you that it might be a good opportunity to have some connections for the future. And your father were practically sulking when you rejected him once.

Not wanting to upset your father furthermore however, you unwillingly stepped out of the vehicle, the cool night air hit you in the face making you scrunch up your nose a bit.

Your father gave you a firm pat on your back as he lightly chuckled, motioning for you to come inside. You took a deep breath before obliged his wish. When you step inside, the anxiety only worsens when you suddenly was bombared with questions and greetings.

You felt small, absoloutly wanting to crawl into a hole and never surface again. However, just as you were about to excuse yourself, your oh ever so loving father just dive right in and dragged you away from the attention.

That's when he introduced you to one of his older colleagues, the man who seems to be in one of his rather late 30s, his brown locks was messy and unkept, as his eyebags look rather dark and heavy, you could almost feel sorry for him. He also wore a large bandage on the side of his cheek, just right at the corner of his mouth. He seems to be twitching anxiously, as his head and hands kept jerking slightly.

You smiled at him, just a soft, simple smile as your father introduced you both to each other. Apparently, they've known each other since high school, as your father had lightly 'teased' or 'joked' with him in the past. But you weren't dumb, you knew what you father did. You shook your head lightly when he wasn't looking and shoot Toby an apologetic look. And he swore he saw an angel. His breath hitched as he shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to hide his shaking hands.

When your father left you both alone to talk, the tension thickens. Toby doesn't know what to do, he have the same social skills of a rock. He just stand there, fidgeting his hands in the pocket, picking the skins off of his fingernails. But after a few seconds, which felt like an enternity, a soft, angelic voice broke him out of the trance he was in.

It was just a simple, awkward "Hi" from you. It sounded so innocent. So pure.. So, so, so sweet.

He needs to ruin you.

"..Nice weather we're having." You tried to strike some small talk with him, as much as you hate to socialize, you know that you had to. Or risk kissing those opportunity good bye.

You shifted your weight to your other foot, and looked at Toby, straight into his pretty, brown eyes. He just nodded. Fucking nodded. Oh well, you tried. You thought to yourself sarcastically.

But before you could leave, Toby spoke up. "So you're... (F/N)'s son..?" He asked, clearly also hating the socializing as much as you.

You nodded, feeling slightly at ease. "Yea, yes I am sir." You replied, standing up a bit more straight and offered him a friendly smile.

Everything seems to stilled for a brief second. You had no idea what you just awoken in him when you call him 'sir'. He could feel his cock twitched in his pants as he muttered a cursed under his breath, as he cough into his fist, trying to play it off.

But how could he? You're such a pretty little thing. Standing there and look up at him with your big, adorable eyes. Unaware of the danger you've just caused. Such a pretty, precious little thing. It's almost impossible to believed that you're the son of the man Toby absoloutly despise. The thought alone made him laughed bitterly.

And the way you tilted your head when he took too long to answered almost made him lost it right then and there. God you were so... delicated. Your lips, hair... everything about you is driving him to the edge. The way your white suit seems to hug your figured make him want to rip it off you. He couldn't helped but trailed his eyes along your curves, and almost groaned at the thought of biting into your soft fleshed, marking you with his bites and bruises.

He felt his pants grow dangerously tight before he quickly excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving you there, confused.

Toby found himself in the bathroom, panting heavily and he thanked whatever existed that the music was so fucking loud, same with the people chatters.

His dick was throbbing in his pants when he freed it with his hand and groaned a bit, clenching his teeth together. He was average in girth, but was slightly big in lenght. Being around 7 or so inches. The color was adorable, the tip being a cute pink color.

He leaned against the sink and scowled, a bit frustrated that he got hard because of his old bully's son.

... His SON.

He suddenly felt a shifted in his mood as a cocky grinned made it way to his face, a dry laughed errupted from his throat as he leaned back, slowly smeering his tip with the precum. God he felt filthy.

He almost felt sorry for you, you weren't even there when things happened. Yet you got your little dense self in the drama, unknowingly. He almost purred at the thought. He wants to wreck you infront of your father.

His eyes wandered to the hampered before he reach into it, seeing a sweater with your name neatly written on the back of the collar. He bring it to his face and give it a big whiff, his face grows redder by the second as sweats starts to form on his body.

His hand started to move again, stroking his shaft as he moaned into your sweater, muffling it.

He fist his cock into his hand in a quick pace, not even bothering to use his spit as lubricant. He kept thinking about you, and imagine you in all sorted of positions. How would your expressions looks like if he drill his cock deep inside you? What sinful sound would you make? God he needed you.

And as if God heard his prayer, the doorknob rattled a bit before opened. He didn't even heard you coming inside until you gasped, startled and is absoloutly flustered at the sight.

He fucking came in surprised. His load shoot into your sweater as he look at you, slightly embarrassed from getting caught. He dropped your sweater on the sink and reached out to you, he expected you to turn away, but instead a flustered smile crept onto your features.

"I.." Toby began, but it seems like his word got caught in his throat. And to his surprised once again, an angelic chuckled escaped through your teeth, and his dick began to throbbed again. You closed the door behind you and lock it with a clicked.

"W- what are you-" He got cut off by you pressing your lips against him, and it didn't take him long to practically melted into the kiss. His hand that was around his dick let go and he slowly slid his big hands down your thighs. He grabbed your ass and hoisted you up, one of his knees between your legs to keep you steady as your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss.

He gasped sharply into the kiss when your leg jerked up and grind into his crotch, making his knees almost gave out.

You KNEW he was inexperienced, and that thought alone make all the blood rushing straight to your throbbing dick. The thought of being his first was alluring. You slowly grow impatient before you shift around in your place, and successfully have Toby on his knees. He look up at you with a flushed expression and seems to be slightly puzzled at the sudden position changed. It didn't take long for him to caught on however when your hand slowly grip the root of his hair in a firm grip. He quickly fumbled with his hand to unzip your zipper and your cock sprint out. He swallow thickly and look up at you, and you just scoffed at the sight. He looks so fucking pathethic and eager on his knees. His face was red, and sweat was coating his forehead and running down his chin.

You nodded at him with a raised brow, and he quickly got to work. He slowly swirled his tongue around your tip, making your legs feel like jello. He savoured the taste, licking up any precum that was beaded on the slit of your dick. You buckle up your hips imaptiently, but his rough hands held your inner thighs in place. You let out a low moan as he continue to lick and suck on your pulsating dick, before he finally take the whole thing in his mouth. You grunt a bit, the grip on his hair tightens as you tried not to snap your hips upward into his mouth. He was taking all of this painfully slow, and he knows it.

After all the teasing, you couldn't held it in anymore as you shoved his head down on your dick, not giving the slightest fuck when he gagged a bit. The gagging actually sent a vibration down your dick making you moan a bit louder, as you gently facefuck him. Your mouth start to whispered filthy praises and degrading stuff to him.

"G-god- so fucking warm.." You mumbled, loud enough for Toby to hear and his dick twitched. "Y-you're so pathethic" Scowling down at him, you fuck yourself into his mouth a bit rougher. "Getting o-off.. at one of your colleagues p-ah...arty? To his son nonetheless?" Toby's dick throbs with every words falling out of your mouth as you began to rambles while being deep inside his mouth, drilling your hips against his face.

He let out a few groans and whimpers of his own as he work his tongue around your shaft, greedily sucking you up and desperated to pleased you as you start to pick up the pace, brutally snapping your hips up and grinding in his face before you released deep inside his throat, moaning loudly as your legs began to trembled. He drinks every bit of you up, letting you ride through the orgasm.

After you slowly came down from your high, you pull out of him with a wet pop, whining a bit at the lost of the warmth in his mouth.

To your surprised, it didn't take long for Toby to hook his arms under your legs and stand up, making your head and back hit the wall as you let out a gasped. It's as if he did a whole 180 on his attitude.

He have a cocky smirk displayed mischeviously on his lips as press himself closer to you, grinding his pelvis into yours as he drawled out a groan. He can't take it anymore.

One of his free hand reached up and grabbed his tie, tying your hands together tightly, surely to leave a bruise.

His cold, rough hands travel down to your ass and give it a firm squeeze before his right hand travel up to the inner of your thighs and teasing your aching hole with one finger, making you whine as you squirm around a bit, glaring up at him.

He cooed at your expression and leans down, gently nibbling your neck and whispered in your ears. "Y- You're so..so pretty when yo- you're acting tough." He grins before sucking the skin of your neck, leaving a deep, dark purple mark.

You were still squirming against him and it only get him more riled up as you were practically grinding into his hips. He flipped you over so your back was against his chest and you were bending over the sink. He grab your jaw with his right hand to force you to look in the mirror. He wore a cunning grin as he shoves his middle and ring fingers into your mouth while keeping the hand firmly on your jaw. Drools were dripping down your chin as you gagged around his digits, tears starts to formed in the corner of your eyes. The actions only make him grin wider, as he bend down against you, your ass were right up against his cock.

"You see that camera?"

He asked smugly, before turning your head to look at the phone that was set neatly on a flower plant, making your eyes widen and your cheeks flushed with humilation.

"Do you want your daddy to see how much of a Hure his sonne really is, huh.."

He whispered lowly as he began to nibble your ear. You could only feel your dick start to erected again shamefully as you shook your head rapidly, in an almost pleading way.

"Then suck."

He barked orders at you and you began to swirl your tongue around his digit, sucking his fingers.

"Good, good.. little whore."

He grins and lick up your tears and kiss your cheek, before his other hand went up and grab your throat, holding your head in place and his now wet fingers travelled down to your ass, as he push one digit in and start to stretch you out. That delicious heat began to form in the pit of your stomach again as you gasped and whined at the touch, fueling Toby's egos even more.

"Such an adorable sound..."

He whispered, pumping his digit in and out of your wet hole before adding another one, leaning down and keep nibbling and sucking on your skins, leaving dark purple marks scattered around your neck while your shoulders were adorned with his bites.

"I can't wait to ruin you."

He scowled, as his finger went into a scissoring motion, stretching you out and shivers at the warmth, his dick was twitching and throbbing, begging to be inside of you.

The knot in your stomach tightens up as you scrunch up your face, clenching your jaws tightly. However, it earned a tight squeeze to your throat and you yelped, your eyes widened, He chuckled at your expression and tilt your head up to make you gaze at your reflection in the mirror.

"Eyes up, doll.."

He breathly says before he continue to pump his fingers into you, and added the 3rd finger.

You immediatly whines at the digits being brutally pumping in and out of you, your tongue hanging out of your mouth.

He snickered slightly at the sight before pulling his hand out, making you grunt slightly at the loss.

But it was quicly replace by a shocked yelped when you felt the tip of his dick rubbing against your hole as he pistoned himself and, without warning, snapped his hips forward, moaning loudly into your ears as he bottomed you out. Despite prepping you, nothing could have prepare you as his cock stretch you out delicously, and you could swear you felt his cock deep inside your stomach.

"S-so fuc-fuckin-g.. sh-shit- tight, tight, tight-"

He rambled into your shoulders, completely lost himself into you for a split second.

"-'m gonn- gonna mol- mold my dick into you..g-gonna ruin you for e-everyone else.."

He didn't let you adjust before he slam into you at a brutal speed, your lewd moans that would put a pornstar to shame filled and echoed around the bathroom, mixing with the sounds of skin slapping and a few moan and grunts from Toby himself.

"I'm gonna fuckin' breed this schöner b-junge.."

He mumbled to himself and you felt yourself clenching around his lenght, causing him to cursed in german harshly, his grip against your throat tightens. You managed to choke out a small "S-sir-!" but that only make his grip on you tightens more, slamming his pelvis into you and groaning loudly.

"S-scheiße- cal- call me that again-"

He ordered, grinding his dick into your ass and thrust into you harshly, making you cried out.

"S-fuck- Sir- Pl-pleas-"

Tears streams down your cheeks as he pounce into you, not showing any signs of stopping soon.

Black dots started to invade your visions as your air supply was cut off. But just right when you were about to pass out, he relaxed his grip, causing you to gasped sharply, inhaling that sweet, sweet air into your lungs.

"That- that's it, breathe.. Gut so.."

You felt the knot in your stomach tightens again as he burried balls deep into you, rubbing anf reaching all of your sweet spots you didn't even know were possible.

"Oh, m-meine liebe.. you're being- being such a good obedient little slut"

And you were being forced to watch as he fucking you silly was all so fucking lewd.

He let out a shout as he twitched, feeling himself close as his head jerk to the side, before his dick twitch deep inside of you and he came undone. You were quick to follow as you cum onto the cold marbled sink, letting out heavy pants as your half lidded, glossy eyes glance up at the camera.