#my answers are always so long i'm. why am i like this lmao

[impactrueno]

Do you ship beetlebabes?

anon you're one of the three people i woke up to this morning asking if i ship beetlebabes LMAO. so i guess i better address it as thoroughly as i can.

shortest answer i can give you: no. but there's a lot more to it than just that. please read on

as long as it's not kid lydia, i don't care. i'm perfectly at peace with the ship and accept it as an integral part of the fandom (i'll get to that in a second) because this isn't like other ships of its kind. there's a small sector of the shipper side of the fandom that's cuckoo bananas and i don't fuck with that but that's more about those shippers in particular and not the ship itself. and yes, i'm okay with you reblogging my art and tagging it as "beetlebabes" on your blog for your own organization purposes.

i've been lurking the beetlejuice fandom for like 20 years now, so the ship doesn't faze me in the least. especially since i shipped them myself when i was younger, and this isn't a secret or anything i'm ashamed about, because i just never thought that deeply about it back then you know?? i just knew i enjoyed their dynamic in the cartoon a lot. and i'm pretty sure this is the case for most veteran beetlejuice fans because back then 90% of the fan content was beetlebabes. the ship pretty much carried the fandom all throughout the 90s and the 2000s, and the bulk of these shippers was always goth/goth-adjacent women into gothic romances who had crushes on BJ and projected onto lydia. NOT pedophiles or groomers or anything of the sort (and i need to reiterate this every time this stuff comes up because it's really important: do not ever judge whether or not someone is a groomer based only on what they ship because that's only going to put you at risk of being groomed by a "non-problematic" shipper. a groomer can use anything to groom you, even if you're not a minor. please always stay alert no matter what circles you're in. sorry for the PSA i've just seen some stuff and i worry)

the shift in the demographics of the fandom happened when the musical came out in 2019, which brought in a new beetlejuice canon with TONS of new fans who were more attuned to what makes a ship creepy and inappropriate (again, literally no one ever thought about this stuff before the 2010s.) so obviously this new wave of fans were horrified that the ship even existed in the first place. this created a pretty big split in the fandom between shippers and non-shippers. i've been referring to the topic as a hornets nest ever since and it's the reason why i largely keep to myself in my own little corner of the fandom.

as for my feelings about the ship...that shifted a lot through the years. shipped them, then i didn't. then i thought about them again, then i was like nah. eventually i realized that i'm very picky and particular about them and i was never going to feel at home on either side of the fandom so i had to figure out what kind of content i wanted to see, how i see their relationship and if i could create something with that myself since it seemed like no one else was doing it.

so here i am now. the stuff i'm making right now with adult lydia and beej from the cartoon is intended to be "platonic soulmates" since this is what i found to be the closest thing to what i always wanted to see more of, i find it comforting and beautiful and tragically underrated. people are free to interpret it however they wish though, as long as they don't expect me to meet their expectations, because i'll be doing my own thing regardless. i'm not stupid though, i know i managed to put them in a position where they probably could organically develop feelings for each other, and people are inevitably going to be drawn to that potential. so i can't blame the people commenting with "when will they kiss, i hope they get married, etc," i just hope they don't feel to disappointed to learn that i have no plans to explore that far lol (if that's all you were here for then uhhh sorry i guess)

if i ever choose to make something that is actually beetlebabes, i would tag it as such so people know and so people who don't want to see it can block it. maybe i'd even give ample warning beforehand because i wouldn't want to spring that on my followers who are uncomfortable with the ship out of the blue like that.

if you've read my beetleposts you probably already know that i like character studies and analyzing their dynamics, so i don't mind discussing the ship and how or why i think things would be one way or the other. perhaps i'm a bit too lax about it for some people, because i've been asked to tag a couple of analyses that seemingly dipped into beetlebabes territory without me even noticing. that made me realize that what qualifies as beetlebabes varies from person to person, which makes "do you ship beetlebabes" even harder to answer, because people see what they want to see in art. you can ask my non-shipper followers and most will say they don't see anything romantic in my art, but then you ask the shippers and it can be the total opposite. just as everyone does when they watch the source material.

so in conclusion

i don't ship them (any of the canon iterations) romantically but i'm chill with the whole thing as long as people aren't rude to each other in my comments (or to me for that matter) because i'm frankly way too old to give a fuck about these things or all the proship/anti/whatever nonsense

[vanishingcherry]

YN YLN and Charles Leclerc Take a Couples Quiz

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

author's note: this has been in my drafts for wayy to long, so ive decided to just finish it off and post it. im sorry lmao but i just couldn't watch this rot away in my wips any longer.

masterlist

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

The video cut to you and Charles, sitting opposite each other in front of a yellow to red gradient, smiling at the camera.

"Hi! I'm YN", you say cheerfully.

"And I'm Charles"

"And we are here to take a couples quiz!"

You are handed a stack of questions from a person off screen, and turn towards Charles.

"Are you ready?"

"Is that the first question?" he retorts.

Your face drops, now showing slight annoyance but there is still a small smile you try to hide. "That's it. Minus 1 points."

"Oh c'mon! That is not fair."

You turn to argue but the video cuts to a different scene in which you ask the actual first question.

"What things do I have, of yours, that are my favourite?

He looks up in thought before chuckling and replying. "Theres a lot, you steal my stuff all the time."

You grin. "Yes, but what's my favourite?"

"My shirts? No wait! My bracelets?" He asks.

"Yeah!" you exclaim. Turning to the camera you add. "He gets so many bracelets from fans and they are all so pretty. We keep them in a bowl on our dresser so I like to take a few whenever I go out."

Looking back at Charles, you add. "You didn't know the answer, but you still got it right so I think you deserve half a point." The staff behind the camera gives you a thumbs up, noting it down for when they would edit the video.

"Ok! Next question- which song of yours is my favourite?"

He looks at you, his eyes widening with a confused expression on his face. He looks at the camera crew and then back at you.

"C'mon, I only have 2 it's not a very hard question."

"Then answer it." you reply, looking at him with a small smirk.

"Fine. Uh, AUS23."

"Wrong!" you exclaim, laughing at the way his jaw drops in surprise.

"Then what? I know its not Miami."

"Its the one you wrote for Baku." you slyly say, knowing fully well that he hadn't released it and you were possibly the only one other than him to have heard it.

You look down at the cards you had been given, reading off the next question. "What is the first thing I eat in the morning?"

You see his smirk growing in your peripheral vision and cut in before he answers. "If you dare make a joke, I will murder you."

He laughs at that, chuckling as he looks up to think. "Um. Breakfast? It's different things every morning, but if I wake up before her then I make cereal."

Noticing the evident confusion on the faces of the cameramen, you elaborate. "It's the only thing he's allowed to make without me present. The last time I let him cook alone, he burned the pancakes and half our kitchen."

Turning red at the story, he interrupts. "Okayy, next question amore."

"Which side of the bed do I sleep on?"

"Left."

"If I could get a tattoo of something, what would it be?"

"A bouquet of flowers. The flowers would be your favourite and my favourite together."

You are shocked at his response. "How did you remember that? I told you that ages ago!"

He smiles slyly to the camera. "That is why I am the best boyfriend, there is no need for these silly questions I am already the best. She told me so in be-"

"Right. Next question." You cut him off, eyes widening as you figure out where he was going with the statement. "This is the last one. If I could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"

"Oh this is easy. Italy. You are always talking about how much you love it. But you also love Monaco and France so depending on how you feel, one of those three."

"Well.", you look at the camera, "I think that answer deserves 2 points." Handing your questions off to the side, you turn to Charles who has started reading the first of his questions.

"If I had a ticket to anywhere in the world, where would I go?" he reads. "This is similar to yours", he mutters.

"Home", you say confidently. "He's a mama's boy, tries to go back home as much as possible."

He blushes slightly before nodding to the camera. "Yup, 1 point."

"What was I wearing on our first date?"

You reply quick as lightening. "A shirt and pants. Very gentlemanly, I remember thinking, probably the best first impression I've had of a guy."

His eyebrows raise at the confession, cockily tilting his head in the direction of the camera. "You heard her! Next, what is something I hate?"

"A lot of things, Char."

"Is that your final answer, cherie?"

"Um." you pause. "Oh I know! When manipulate stuff that you say. It makes me really mad too. It gets really tiresome when they take stuff that Charles has said that turn into into a different story altogether."

"Thats true, I do hate that." He smiles at you, reaching over to squeeze your hand once to say thank you.

"How many kids do I want?"

"3, because you have 2 siblings. But, you said you want as many as I am comfortable with!"

"Of course, amour. You're the one whose going to be carrying them, your choice is more important here. What is something I get annoyed about?"

"Oh, when Seb and Carlos beat you at those Ferrari games you play."

His jaw drops in faux offence, shaking his head as he reads out the last question on his cue card.

"What is one my hidden talents?"

You look straight at the camera, not dissimilar to The Office. A smirk grows on your face and the lens zooms in. In the background Charles can be heard complaining.

"Oh I see! You can make these jokes, but I cant?"

The video cuts to the wider angle once again, you and Charles wave at the camera.

"Thanks for watching our couples quiz! I think it's clear that I've won."

Charles rolls his eyes, eyes shining with admiration and love for you. "Bye everybody."

Comments:

charleslover: OH MY GOD!! THEY ARE SO IN LOVE IT KILLS ME

ynandcharles: their facial expressions always kill me

username89: where do i get a charles leclerc bcs i will willingly offer all the money i have

doratheexplorer16: their love for each other hurts

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 30/12✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

@pandorainabox ha chiesto: Hope this isn't a dumb question,but do you plan to/already are posting the bio parents ah anywhere where it can be viewed all in one piece? With the between posts in tumblr,it gets confusing and I still don't quite know how to navigate it so I was curious if I could binge read it anywhere all in one clean read? (I constantly want to re-read it lmao,it brings me so much joy,its so damn cute!!) Anyway apologies for the random question!! I love your work,you're doing so good and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful rest of your day/night! Thank you so much for taking your time to read and respond if you do so!! 💚💚🌙

i mean… I THINK the masterpost is the easiest way to read it for now (and once you read one chapter you press “NEXT” at the end of it.)

if I would put it, let’s say, on Webtoon (which I can’t) it kind of would be the same thing. A list if chapters, when you click on one it opens the chapter with the 10-20 panels and then you click the “next” to go to the next one.

i don’t think putting all chapters from one part would be nice since it would be a super duper long list of panels (and the page would take a lot to load with so many medias) and one Part of the comic contains multiple arcs.

i’m open to suggestions though!

@robinpika ha chiesto: I was just wondering why is wukong kaiju form unstable? What inspired you to go that route

it was an headcanon of my of why we never see it in the show, even though it is present in JTTW AND war forms are… well normal in LMK, so I figured he must have a reason why he didn’t use it, considering it could have spare them a lot of trouble giving its power.

@imafluffycupcakey ha chiesto: I can't find the option to ask anonymously oof— Enyway this is Tumblr and that's what I'm here for. Ever made a design for a Red son and MK kid? From your AU I mean (ignoring every nature law for a second). Also, where did you got that name for MK from? Is something from Jurney to the west? Mainly thanks to your AU I am going to try and read that book (has more them a 1000 pages :') )

we all subconsciously agreed that the spicynoodle lovechild is Kai from lego ninjago and MK real name is his name in the chinese dub.

@avencaeheng ha chiesto: Can you reccomend any websites to watch lmk? 🙏

You can find MOST of the episodes on youtube. BUT you need also the specials to understand the story. If I link you a site in 2 weeks it will be down. The best is that you join the Lego Monkie Kid Fanspace discord. They have links to see the show and they update them every once in a while.

@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: Another silly headcanon <3 Since MK unlocked he’s monkey form he started teething like a baby monkey but… adult. I don’t know how baby monkey teethe but when dogs teethe they get a lot more bite-y and the bites hurt a lot more than before teething. I can imagineMK getting a lot more bitey with things, like chewing food longer then needed be and maybe when he’s play fighting with the baby monkeys he bites one and it chirps and Wukong is like: ! One of my children is in need! And he discovers MK is teething and does something idk yet. After having given my evidence… Do you think this would happen? Does MK have fangs in his human form like how some people draw him?

hi! I guess he did have a period in which he had a little teething.

no, his human form doesn’t have fangs, because his human form is just a kind of glamour/shapeshift. In the AU the monkey form became his normal form (since it always has been his original form to begin with)

toomanylegos ha chiesto: Hey, I just want to say I absolutely adore your ShadowPeach comic and the beautiful art with it. I went through nasal surgery on the 19th, and seeing an update from you really helped soothe my nerves about it, so thank you! I can't wait to see more updates throughout my recovery :D burry-penguin ha chiesto: As a spicynoodle shipper I love your work sm and what ur doing for this community KEEPING US FEED FOR DAYSSS!! 🔥🍜 🔥🍜 You’re so amazing and keep doing what you’re doing because you’re a damn good story teller and artist. You’ll go so far someday! You’ve helped put a smile on my face on my best and worst days just from seeing each new update and going absolutely fuckin feral over it and I thank you for that 🫶 imafluffycupcakey ha chiesto: Not really a ask. I would just like to say I inhaled your AU comic like a vacum cleaner in less them a day, also big fan of the art style. Anonimo ha chiesto: I'm recovering from a toxic relationship and the shadowpeach bio parents au is helping me think through everything ,, The love these monkies show me how relationships are supposed to make you feel good... thank u

turtlewearingclothes ha chiesto: Howdy! I just wanted to say thank you for making your amazing comic, and being the reason I got into Lego Monkie Kid. I've heard of the show, but I never watched it. Then I came across your comic like, 2-3 weeks ago? And after binging it, I decided to watch the show, and now I'm obsessed lol. Thank you!

AWWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE!!!♥️♥️♥️

@selfdestructivecat ha chiesto: Hey so I recently binged your LMK comic because I absolutely fell in love with your ISAT x COTL comic and knew anything you made would be amazing. I’ve never seen LMK though so I’m sure I lost some of the context (it was still so good though, I’m really rooting for everything to work out for the characters!) But I decided to give the actual series a try because of the comic! And here was where I planned on writing you a message after a few episodes to thank you for getting me into a new series, but… I’m on episode one. I only watched the intro. Dude. IM ABSOLUTELY HOOKED. THE ANIMATION! THE STYLE! THE CHARACTERS! I’m so so excited to watch more (which I’m gonna do now!) but thank you so much for bringing this series to my attention!!!

ahaha welcome to the club!, now you can enjoy both comics!

@therivergirl ha chiesto: I remember back in the beggining of eclipse arc you mentioned that Mac feels insecure about his body being part of the reason he's hesitant to take of his clothes even in front of Wukong and it being part of the reason (aside from basic decency) that Wukong looked away. And now in this part Mac appears butt-naked to help Wukong out, adding yet another layer of vulnerability...gah! (Maybe I should finally watch LMK because I feel I would be doubly obsessed with this comic then...)

For Mac being exposed was the last of his issues considering that what he was seeing was Wukong at his lowest and most naked. Now excuse me while I cry.

@astro-lmk-enjoyer ha chiesto: You probably know Chang’E’s story from LMK, but did you know there is a second version of her story that I like better? In the second version Chang’E and her husband(I forgot his name), are getting used to living as mortals after being kicked out of heaven. But someone hears of the immortal elixir they have and try to steel it while Chang’E’s husband is out hunting. After getting beat up a bit she decides to drink the elixir so the robber couldn’t get it. But she instead went to the moon so she could be closer to her lover. Her husband dies because he’s still mortal, and Chang’E is left be herself. I have silly little headcanon the day MK and the others went to the moon was her and her husband’s anniversary 🙃 Bye <3

AH. OK.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think that wukong and macaque act like cats?

as in they would purr? I moslty think Wukong wants to cuddle and stroke his head on Mac neck like a cat, while Mac is that one cat that sometime is annoyed when people touch him but eventually let them do it.

Anonimo ha chiesto: ✨Hear me out :3✨ MK can hear the past. He heard the fight of of prentice and held his eye like he was getting hurt by Wukong and not Macaque. So now picture this: MK has a vision again, his this time it is about how the monk used the circlet on him :3

AHAH. NOW HE CAN’T SEE TANG THE SAME WAY AGAIN. FUCK.

Anonimo ha chiesto: When I first found your comic in your TikTok account, I thought it was something very silly... How very VERY wrong I was.(As I get shot 57 times.) I hope you are taking very good care of yourself because when I downloaded Tumblr to keep myself updated to your comics(which was somewhere around 13-16 December probably) there are a LOT of panels. I enjoyed the newest and most recent parts of the shadowpeach bio parent au and can't wait for the next!!! Don't work yourself to the bone too much! Remember to take mental and physical breaks.

AGHDMHSMFYS THANK YOU!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: Are there others who flirt with MK ? He looks good, is very powerful and has a sunshine personality. I bet there are others who are interested in him

I guess there haven’t been any for NOW.

Anonimo ha chiesto: After reading the post about swk's circlet, I srsly want him to look at mk and say "oh, hey we're matching!" ... "OH SHIT WHY ARE WE'RE MATCHING?!"

NOOOOOO!!

@delightfulcupquakequeen ha chiesto: Hey there!!! Been awhile sincenI've written an ask, just wanted to send love and being greatful that you are doig this amazing AU!!!! Appreciating ever pannel you make and gosh dammit hitting me right in the korokoro!!!! Keep being your fabulous self!!! Until next time!

THANK YOUUUUU

@l1br4rycrypt1d ha chiesto: Feel free to ignore this if it's spoilers for the comic, but are we gonna get to see the Gold Star of Venus? Just curious, since you reblogged the meme post that mentioned him during the takeover

There will be a small space for them as well, yes.

@kaothedemon ha chiesto: Fun fact, while I doubt Pigsy has all of Zhu Bajie's powers, his ancestor did have a kaiju form, which he could use if he ate a fuckton I'm sure it's not gonna appear in the story, but the idea of Heaven having to deal with 3 Kaiju dads (+ theoretically a sworn uncle) is extremely funny to me (picture courtesy of OSP's latest JTTW episode cause even when I read the book there weren't any illustrations of this)

I SAW THAT!! Man now they must add it to the show. Yeah I don't think he has ALL of Zhu Bajie's powers (I don't think he would ever want to have them) but it would be interesting if it was a high stake situation

@roseltelle ha chiesto: I think Macaque would actually enjoy working/ volunteering at the playhouse specifically doing shadow plays. But he does regular plays as well. His favorite days are when classes of children come in for field trips. Wukong often paints the backdrops, scenery, and other items for plays. They both enjoy their hobbies.

Awwwww yeah I think Macaque would totally love that.

@lmk4ever ha chiesto: Can you imagine Wukong just being out of it after he distracted the celestials for too long in his war form?

I think that as soon as he sees Macaque again he immediately switch back and become behaved again.

@peach-fury ha chiesto: I think I know the answer but theoretically... Who's war form/kajiu is stronger Wukongs or Macaque's and how would it go? I don't know it started as a thought. Now I can't stop laughing.

Wukong's is stronger.

blbllblblblll ha chiesto: do you know the pronunciation of xiaotian? ive been stuck on how to say his name for so long 😭

I know that the "Qi" is pronunced "Chi" and I think "xiao" is pronunced the same as you would read it, while I THINK the "t" in "tian" is more of a mix between a t and a c/k? I aint chinese and the way I pronounce things or read them is probably different from u cause I'm italian.

eerieqloss ha chiesto: Okay question, is Wukong's war form bigger/taller than MK's?

it's taller.

@elliboom ha chiesto: I was wondering, will Erlang Shen ever appear in the Shadowpeach parent series? (And questa domanda la scrivo in italiano giusto per levarmi un’altra curiosità in futuro, preferisci che le domande vengono scritte solo in inglese o vanno bene anche in italiano? So che non ci sono molti italiani ad essere fan di LMK e JTTW, posso capire la scelta di scriverli solo in inglese per rispetto e far capire ai altri fan, e generalmente per scrivere le domande uso google translate, perché faccio pena con la grammatica inglese, mi scuso se in futuro farò domande con qualche errore 🥲🥲)

Si apparirà. Manda pure in italiano shalla ahah.

[writing-with-moss]

Saw your post, and thought: why not?

Ok ok, imagine reader is a sleeper, and they like to sleep in most mornings. But one day they decided to wake up in the devil hours of the day and bake apple pie, waking up the 141 and they're generally concerned about reader's sleep schedule and health lmao.

If you understand what I mean.

thank you anon! I really appreciate the ask. My inbox had been really funky these last few days so I'm sorry it took so long!

Poly!TF141 x F!reader

TW/CW- mentions of anxiety and pregnancy, reader wears glasses and is called American, but nothing more than pure fluff!

It was dark when your eyes fluttered open. The warmth of the bed almost pulls you back to sleep. But you manage to get your eyes to stop drooping, your body lazily rolling over and glancing up at the clock.

3:20 a.m

You groan, might as well get up and start the day. So you sit up and swing yourself off the warm covers, leaving your comfy safehaven to maneuver through the dark room. Your hip brushes against a bookshelf and your hands enclose around your pair of glasses.

Finally able to see, you stumble into the kitchen, stretching out with a hum of pleasure, shivers running your spine. The gentle lamp light of the kitchen and the rumble in your stomach kept your socked feet moving along.

You settle on a book, wide open to a certain page. Apple Pie. Warm saliva filled your mouth at the thought of what you had been craving for weeks now. It had been so intense your boyfriends thought you might've been pregnant.

You open up the cupboards and drag out a few bowls, cutting up a few apples.

You must've been too loud because you were halfway into pouring the filling when a large form fills the doorway.

"Wha' da 'ell ya doin' Bonnie?" A sleepy Scottish man grumbles, stumbling towards you in just his boxers. "Cant feckin' sleep with so much bloody ruckus-"

He pauses at your baking, raising a brow. You turn and give a weak smile. "Sorry....Didn't mean to."

"Wha' da 'ell are you makin'?" A rougher voice came from the doorway, a man in matching black sweats stood behind Soap, tilting his head to watch you work.

"Apple Pie." You curtly answered, smiling as you hummed along, popping the dish into the oven.

"Yer so feckin' American." Soap wraps his arms warmly around your waist as he pecks a few kisses to your jaw. His stubble brushing against your cheek, causing a giggle to bubble in your chest. Ghosts warm hand landing on the back of your head to scratch at your scalp before gently tugging at Soaps Mohawk.

Johnny sticks his tongue out at him, before smiling. Ghost responding roughly. "Yer hair makes ya look like a fecking rooster."

Before he could reply, another man walked in.

"American apple pie huh?" Price came in with an almost concerned expression, pouring a mug of steaming coffee. "Yer up early baby. Somethin' goin' on?"

You shake your head. "Don't think so. Just had some cravings and got up early." Soap buries his head a bit deeper into your shoulder as he chuckles.

"You sure you ain't pregnant?" You elbow his side and he laughs, pulling back with a grin. Hopping onto the counter.

"I am not!" Ghost side eyes you and you huff, laughing. "Trust me, I would know. I already took a test. I. Am. Not. Pregnant."

"What about pregnancy- Oh is that apple pie?" Gaz suddenly pops into the kitchen, scratching his chin. "You okay babe? You're up really early."

"Yeah, I just woke up weirdly early. I dunno."

Price tilts his head, wrapping his arm around Gaz' shoulder as they cuddle up. "You anxious?"

"Maybe? I think I'll be okay." You respond, sighing as you cross your arms over your chest. Ghost gently pulls you a bit closer, enveloping you in warmth.

"We're always here for ya. Our sweet girl." He pecks a firm kiss to your forehead and they all nod.

Soap grins slightly. "But are you sure you aren't?-" You throw your towel at him before he can finish.

(Hopefully this is good enough! Thanks for the ask Anon! Requests are open!)

[ryiju-muunie]

700 Follower Special!

Baby come sit on my face~

college student!fem!reader/professor!Toji Fushiguro/professor!Kento Nanami/professor!Choso Kamo/professor!Suguru Geto Warnings: classroom sex, orgy, semi-public sex, spit roasting, double penetration, blow job, hand job, Choso and Geto lowkey start getting freaky, intense breeding, pussy eating, nipple sucking/play Word count: 2757 DESC: You decide to get extra credit the only way you know how ... being a whore

Ok maybe this is not coherent I AM SICK!! But thank you for 700!! Next up issssssssssss BDSM month!

NOTES: I've been putting this off for so long I'm already passed 700 LMAO. I don't know if this is going to be anything special but hey orgy man

How hard was it to get extra credit? Any normal student would do the simple things, you know, email their teachers professionally and ask for extra coursework. Or perhaps, buy school supplies on their professor's wish lists to boost themselves up in the classroom. For you, it was different. You were a full-time college student, although full-time was a stretch. Over time was a better word for the number of classes you took. Economics, history, math, geography, English- I could go on. But here’s the thing, as much as you tried to be a scholar student, you were falling behind. Your grades were slipping into terrible territory.  

So what else were you to do but ask for extra credit? You had seen enough porn to know how it would go. And you had also not interacted with enough humans to realize the idea was utterly insane. I mean, gathering all four of your professors [trust me it would’ve been more, but they were busy] into a desolate classroom as you stripped? It was insanity! Why the hell would these esteemed professors ever ruin their careers for some fun? Well, knowing them, you made the right choice. Your choice of winky faces and ~ made them all quirk their brows, but they weren’t stupid.  

Professor Kamo, for geography, was the first to arrive. He was a dark-dressed, tall individual. Out of all your professors, he was the absolute cutest. The way his face scrunched into a pout as he waited for answers, or how he beamed when talking about his favorite geological locations. You had to admit, you had fantasized about every teacher, but he was the one you liked the most. You imagined pulling on his hair, or even putting it up to make him such a cute little puppy. He would be a perfect sub, following you around with a subtle collar on his neck. Something to show you were his owner. Oh, you loved it.  

Then both your economics and your math teacher came in, Dr. Nanami and Mr. Fushiguro. Dr. Nanami was older, with blonde hair with salt and pepper starting to sprinkle at his roots. By far, he was the oldest and the sexist, although Mr. Fushiguro was a very close second. They were both tall and muscular from what you could tell, but your dark-haired professor had a sort of delinquent charm you found riveting. He would sit on top of his desk, talk candidly, and openly curse without caring if the students were offended. You wished he’d bend you over that same desk and whisper those stupid equations you never got in your ears.  

Finally, Professor Geto arrived. If you thought Mr. Fushiguro was a delinquent, he was nothing compared to the youngest professor. He had long hair, typically pulled back in a bun. The man insisted he only had a very limited number of tattoos, but you always saw more peak out from his sleeves or the underside of his shirt if he extended his arms. He was absolutely covered, with piercing holes in his face from jewelry you knew he had to take off every morning. His eyes too, God, they were sultry without even trying. The perfect seductive stare, every time he looked at you. It wasn’t purposeful, but you hoped it was. 

Your teachers all gathered at random desks as you were seated on top of a desk before them. Your outfit left little to the imagination, making it a bit hard for any of them to keep their eyes off you. White buttons on your blouse, pulling at your breasts and barely staying together. Your lacy black bra was peeking out, as was your thong. It was cheesy, but your only reference was shitty porn, right? Then a pencil skirt, but nothing office-appropriate. If anything, it was short and tight. It hugged the fat of your thighs perfectly, making them protrude as your legs crossed.  

Mr. Fushiguro was the first to break the silence, crossing his arms with a glare your way, “So is this the emergency?” He raised an eyebrow and motioned to your clothes [or lack thereof], “You don’t seem too … stressed out.” God that tone, the way he sized you up with his eyes. It was utterly seductive and utterly disparaging how you couldn’t run your hands over his muscles.  

“I think she might want extra credit,” Dr. Nanami concluded, taking a hold of his tie. Each day he arrived at class with a new tie, and today he chose your favorite. Just a plain black tie, but it contrasted beautifully against his pale skin tone. His fingers wrapped around the fabric and slowly he pulled it back and forth, off his neck. Oh well, he already got the memo it seemed. Your other two Professors simply watched as the two older men approached you with hunger in their eyes, stalking you like prey. You were going to be theirs tonight- all of theirs.  

Your black-haired professor was the first to take hold of you, placing his large hand on your thigh. It almost made you shiver, how he took your skin like you were nothing more than a mere object. His fingers dug into the plush fat and kneaded it slowly, just to see how you would react. You, obviously, were feeling a bit of arousal at this kind of touch. It was evident in how you bit your bottom lip, grating your teeth to the pleasure building in your lower half. It was kind of pathetic, how just a few simple touches were making your clit throb with anticipation. What didn’t help was another hand grabbing ahold of your jaw, turning your head to face him. Kento’s eyes were cold and grey, something you had grown fond of. It was hot, how he took charge and narrowed his eyes on you. Looking at you as if you were nothing more than his personal toy. Oh, and you were, you were so prepared for all of this. Pathetic.  

He leaned forward, slowly placing his loosened tie around your neck and tightening it. Just enough you could feel it, not enough to restrict your airflow. Although, you wouldn’t have minded if it made you choke- if he made you choke. The blonde pulled on the tie, making you fall forward into his grasp, where your lips finally met. You could hear a groan escape your other professor, but hell, you could’ve cared less. Fingers entangled in your hair as his mouth overtook yours in a sloppy bliss. Over and over did his tongue search your mouth and roll circles against your own. Teeth collided as you throbbed, completely soaking your underwear. You needed him, no you needed all of them.  

You pulled back from the kiss in search of Toji, locking lips with him next. He grabbed a hold of the tie and tightened it to the base of your neck, dominating your mouth in a slow kiss. It was painful, how he made you take your time instead of greedily taking him like you wanted to. Like you so badly wanted to. His large hand found a home on your hips, while more sets of hands spread apart your legs. You couldn’t tell who was pulling down your underwear as it fell to your ankles, warm fingers spreading apart your folds. Tongue against tongue and lips against lips, that’s all you could focus on as you felt lips on your neck, biting away, lips on your breasts, and a pair of hot lips against your clit. God, it was so overstimulating.  

You pulled away again to take in the scene before you, leaning back onto Professor Kamo for support as he bit at your neck. Nanami had undone your blouse … at some point and was beginning to mark your chest with his mouth, sloppily kissing the skin as if you were his last meal. Then Suguru had placed himself between your legs, face pressed against your warmth. It looked like he couldn’t breathe, but he wasn’t coming up for air. The pleasure was building; He wasn’t taking his time either. Although it was a slow build, it was intense. The kind of waves you’d only truly get from one of those rose toys. How the hell did he do that with his mouth? 

Another kiss took hold of you, this time by Choso. It was different from the rest, so sweet and soft. God, you wanted to corrupt this sweet kiss. You wanted to corrupt him most of all, make him beg to cum repeatedly until he was a panting mess. You leaned your head against his, pushing your mouth against his for more friction.  

Slowly your pussy was feeling swollen, as if it was already conceding from just this little amount of abuse. You wanted to cum, God you wanted to cum all over Professor Geto. Just coat him in your hot slick and watch as he had one of the other Professors lick him clean, before they’d get distracted and make out. That thought made you let out a noise, something you hadn’t done up until that point. They didn’t expect you to be so silent, but now it was all coming out. Your back arched to the thought of the men forgetting about you and taking each other instead, fucking until they were all a huge mess of sweat and spit. You moaned to the thought of Toji grabbing ahold of Choso’s face and tongue fucking him with all his strength, and how it would look. How it would sound too. The noises the two men would make, mixing with the sounds of the other men. And your wet pussy, how you’d touch yourself to the sight. It was making you clench at the thought.  

“Pretty girl,” Suguru cooed, pulling back from your cunt with slick trailing from his chin. One of his fingers slowly found its way inside, followed by another one, followed by a third. You gaped at the sensation, wishing you were fuller. Full of their cocks and their cum, pumping load after load into your cervix. You couldn’t speak, instead all you could do was whimper into Choso’s mouth as he grew desperate for your tongue, slowly grinding his erection into your back. It pressed against your curves and made you hungry to taste it, letting it fill your throat.  

“Fuck me,” you finally rasped, pulling away from the kiss and tapping Kento’s head a few times. Toji had been busy licking and sucking on your neck, but once he heard your words, he pushed you back against the desk. It was enough to overpower Choso’s hold on you, sending you falling back onto the hardwood.  

You weren’t sure how it happened, all of it becoming such a blur, but you found yourself straddling Dr. Nanami, with his cock ghosting your cunt, Toji, with his erection pressed against your anus, and your two other Professors standing before you, their dicks waiting to be touched by your greedy hands. You were salivating, reaching out and taking a hold of Choso’s boner before your mouth wrapped around Geto’s. He couldn’t help but grab the base of your neck, forcing you down his length. Then you felt Kento slide you down, and Toji force slicked fingers inside your hole. It was all at once, how you were being fucked and fingered, then sucking and stroking. God, it was becoming too much, how you were used and used like you were nothing more than a toy.  

Your hand stroked Kamo’s cock as your tongue lolled around Suguru’s dick. It tasted so good and felt like bliss as it kissed your throat. Each thrust of his hips sent his tip deeper and deeper until you felt yourself gag. All the while, Nanami was taking you with slow strokes. He wanted to feel you, take his time with you. Savor your plush pussy as he bottomed out. Then he wanted to fuck you, deep and hard, until you could barely take it. But the good slut you were, you’d take it. You’d take all of it like a good girl. God, it was driving him crazy.  

Toji’s fingers were circling your entrance and teasing your asshole, plunging into your hole slowly just to feel you stretch around him. It was first one digit, before the rest followed suit. You gasped around Geto’s length and pulled back, arching to the sensation of your cunt and your hole being penetrated. It was so good, touching spots you didn’t even know existed. But you were neglecting your other professor, who you saw was whimpering into your touch. Just like the pathetic sub he was, he wanted your mouth all around his member. You complied, swallowing Choso whole as your two hands began to satiate your other professors' burning desire.  

“F-fuck,” Kento stuttered, his hands planting themselves on your hips as he thrust into you. You finally tuned into the sounds around you, hearing the squelching and moaning from the men surrounding you. Toji was groaning into your ass as he finger fucked you, the blonde was losing himself in your walls, Choso was whining and gripping your hair, and Suguru was letting out breathy gasps from your hands alone. It was overstimulating. Each hole, each orifice, and each part of your body was being tended to. Who cared about the homework at this point? It had become more than that as you were used and fucked for their pleasure. You were a toy, a fuck thing. You were nothing more than someone who was being used to get all these older men off, and it was getting you closer and closer to the edge.  

You wanted to cum so bad all over Kento and Mr. Fushiguro hadn’t even gotten to fuck your tight asshole yet. You wanted to feel Choso splatter ropes of pure hot and white cum down your throat, bucking his hips and forcing you to choke as he kept going. You wanted to feel Suguru paint your face in his sperm as he thrust into your two hands, since his cock was too big for one. And especially, you wanted Professor Nanami to make you a good little mommy. You wanted him to fuck you repeatedly until you were swollen, until you were bulging with his cock and his spunk. God, the thought of your cervix being kissed by his dick was getting you off. Then you felt your asshole begin to stretch.  

Maybe that’s what sent you over the edge in an orgasm. It took over and within seconds you let out a sob. Your head pulled back from Mr. Kamo’s member as you leaned forward onto the man below you. There was intense bliss that filled your pussy and flowed into your brain, different than anything you’ve ever felt before. It was arousing, causing the yearning fire to come back moments after you had finished. Then Kento finished inside you. Your walls clenching around him was too much, sending him over the edge as the coil in his stomach broke. White and hot spurts of cum were pumped deep into your tight hole, as he fucked his orgasm right back into you.  

All the while, you hadn’t noticed the two men before you decided to get each other off instead of waiting on you. Choso pressed his lips sloppily to Suguru’s, wrapping his arms around the other as his dick rubbed against his length. It was hot to see them get each other off, holding their cocks together and bucking them up and down. His tip was swollen and leaking, brushing against Geto’s in a way you knew felt so good. You wanted to hold them together and press your fingers against their slits in a way that would drive them crazy, but feeling two men fuck into you was starting to get too much.  

Toji fucked into you like he had an agenda, and it was to get his own release. He didn’t care about your pleasure, and it was turning you on again. Kento on the other hand was trying so hard to keep his composure in favor of your pleasure. Yet, you so desperately wanted him to lose control and use you. You were their fuck toy. And you’d let them use you again, and again, and again, if it meant they could get off. You loved it. You relished in being used like a nasty whore. And they got off on that fact, too.  

[here2bbtstrash]

crybaby (explicit)

genre: all pwp all smut babeyyyyyy

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: your boyfriend has always mixed his pleasure with pain.

word count: 4.3k

contains: explicit sexual content!!!!!! like that's the whole fic lmao 😵‍💫 established relationship, marathon sex, wrist restraints/bondage, cocky yet eager sub!jungkook 🥵, soft dom!reader but she can be a lil tough, clothed tit play, objectification, she calls him bunny which i think is cute 🥺, spitting, dick riding, unprotected sex, fingers in mouth, humping/grinding, jk has a nipple piercing 🙈, overstimulation/multiple orgasms - for both of them hehe, vibrator use, jungkook (and reader!) pushing himself to his limits bc..... he's jungkook, he cries 🥲, reader finds it hot 👀, a lottttt of sweat & cum lol, cum licking/eating, blowjob, maybe some subspace if you squint, winners never quit 💪, talk of coming dry at the end, jk is kind of a little shit lmaooooo - alright i think that's it 😩

A/N: not me barely managing to get this up before the ticket sales start 😅 happy hunger games to y'all who have codes!!! this fic is a birthday gift to my love, my angel, my cunning linguist @moni-logues 💜 HAPPY (yesterday) BIRTHDAY bb, can't wait to marry you on our first date, it is the joy of my life to build castles in the air with you~

and god bless jk for his lives the past few weeks bc they breathed so much life into this regular degular "sub!jk" fic idea. i'm v obsessed with his personality and the way he always pushes himself "just a little more", whether it's in staying up til 5 am singing karaoke on his couch or giving his absolute all in a workout. just so in love with our bunny tbh, so i hope you enjoy this spicy version of him too!! 🥰

read on AO3!

~*~

You know your boyfriend has always mixed his pleasure with pain.

He stays up late even when he’s exhausted, likes to do his workouts to failure, could spend hours in a tattoo session with the needle pressed to his skin and his bones humming from the buzz. Always holding out for as long as he can, always wanting just a little bit more before he calls it quits, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts. Because he wants to test his limits.

And today, you want to test them, too.

That’s why you text him to meet you in the bedroom, let him find you in nothing but one of his oversized Carhartt shirts, kneeling up on the bed as you affix a pair of purple silk restraints to the headboard.

There’s the soft creak of the mattress from Jungkook’s added weight, and you feel the heat of him as he crowds you from behind, hands dragging up the curve of your hips and taking the hem of your borrowed shirt with it.

“This was the emergency, huh?” The low murmur of his voice is chased by the cool touch of his lip ring as he drags his mouth up the nape of your neck. A blossom of arousal starts to unfurl in your core. “Wanted to use these?”

“Yeah,” you answer, feigning nonchalance as you give the silk a firm tug to test that it holds. Satisfied, you let yourself sink back into Jungkook’s touch, dropping your head against his shoulder and smiling when he leans down to brush his lips over yours. He hums a soft little sound into your mouth.

You cup your hand to the nape of his neck when you pull away to finish the thought. “Thought we could try them on you.”

The words are seemingly all your boyfriend needs to hear; he drops down onto the mattress so hard that he bounces a little. You can’t help but laugh at the way he scrambles to strip out of his sweatshirt, like he’s being timed, then hurriedly centers himself on the pillows, eyes glinting dark with desire.

When you first started talking to Jungkook, everything about him made you expect that he would be the one to call the shots. The good looks, the tattoos and piercings, the muscles— and definitely the motorcycle. But once you’d sat across from him at dinner on your first official date, only to watch him blush and fumble his way through a conversation, you started to suspect that maybe he preferred to follow rather than lead.

That thought was certainly confirmed the next time you saw him out in public: it’d been a full two weeks since your first date, with nothing but radio silence between you since. You were admittedly maybe a little too drunk when you spotted him out with his friends at the same bar you’d been dragged to by yours— drunk enough to have no problem walking right up to him to read him for filth, in front of all of his friends, for ghosting you.

Except he’d just blinked those big brown eyes up at you, mouth dropped open in disbelief, and quietly admitted that he’d been waiting all this time for you to text him.

One of his friends had clapped him on the back, laughing loudly as he corroborated Jungkook’s confession. “He’s been having midnight karaoke pity parties because he never heard from you. Please take this boy out again before his neighbors have him evicted!”

That night told you everything you needed to know about how the dynamics in your relationship would work out. That if you wanted something, there was a very good chance Jungkook wanted it, too.

Which is why it doesn’t surprise you that your boyfriend is already sprawled out half-naked on the bed beneath you, arms folded behind his head in a way that makes his biceps bulge, dangerously attractive.

His mouth pulls into a cocky, flirtatious grin. “Ah, so you wanna use me?”

“I do,” you murmur, straddling your thighs over his torso and leaning up to take the smooth purple silk between your fingers. He offers you one hand before you even have to ask for it, and takes advantage of the other’s last few minutes of freedom to paw at you over your shirt. His tattooed fingers seek out your breast and squeeze, his thumb flicking lazy strokes over your nipple.

You tug the knot of the restraint to tighten it, then look back just as Jungkook closes his lips around the clothed bud of your breast. The rough drag of cotton against your sensitive skin makes you hot all over, your nipple stiffening easily at the rub of his insistent tongue.

“How’s that? Too tight?”

He smirks with your tit still in his mouth, soaking a wet spot into your shirt, teeth scraping gently. “Could be tighter.”

“You are such a show-off,” you huff, more endeared than aggravated as you redo the knot, this time as tight as you can manage. Jungkook pulls against it teasingly, but it does actually seem to hold him in place, and you can feel a dull thud between your legs at the flex of his muscles on full display, the image of him already half-helpless beneath you.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook,” he says, as if in explanation, giving your breast a final playful jiggle before you tug his other hand off to tie it up, too.

“Well, Jeon Jungkook,” you retort with a smirk and a grunt of effort as you lean over him to tug the knot tight. You glance down to find him already using the leverage of his restraints to pull himself up so that he can continue to nuzzle his face into your shirt between your tits, abdominals shaking a little from the effort, undeterred despite the loss of both of his hands.

You take his jaw in your grip and scoot yourself further down his body, dipping in to plant a kiss on his soft lips.

“Are you gonna be a good little toy for me?”

“Uh-huh,” he grunts, and you enjoy the tease of hovering just past where he can reach, watching him strain up toward your mouth to seek another kiss and fall ever so short.

You can feel arousal already dripping from your folds as you slide further down the bed, slipping off from on top of Jungkook to easily rid him of his joggers and briefs. His dick smacks against his stomach, thick and hard; wet, too, at the pretty brown tip. You toss his clothes over the edge of the bed, then strip your own shirt to follow before lowering yourself between his spread legs.

The muscles in Jungkook’s thighs tighten with visible anticipation as you hover above his cock, letting the heat of your breath fan out over him, not unlike the warm afternoon air leaking in through the cracked bedroom window, the first taste of spring. You can hear the wet clicks of Jungkook’s tongue in his mouth.

“Easy, bunny,” you murmur, and then you work up a mouthful of saliva and spit it right onto the head of his dick.

He hisses in a breath at the splatter of it, then gasps a soft little sound when you take him in your hand to slip your fist down the length of him. That’s Jungkook all over; always so eager, always so sensitive.

“What do you think?” you muse, your mouth ticking up as you feel Jungkook’s hips roll into your grasp. “Think it’s ready for me, baby?”

“‘Sready,” he grunts, teeth clenched. “Use it, jagi.”

You waste no time, crawling back up Jungkook’s body to settle your hips over his, flattening your palms against his chest. He’s still squirming, thighs flexing against the bed as he rocks up in a desperate attempt to find the wet heat of your cunt, and you giggle as you work yourself backwards until the head of his dick catches on your entrance.

It’s a bit of a stretch, but you’re wet enough to take it. You bite down on a smug smile as you manage to seat yourself on him hands-free.

“Fuck, love when you do that.” Jungkook’s voice is a low growl, and you slide a hand up the firm definition in his chest and slowly start to rock yourself along his length. His cock fills you up like he was made for it; you can feel every detail of him drag against your ridges, trailing sparks of pleasure as you tilt your hips to drive him right into your sweet spot.

Jungkook’s head kicks back against the pillow as a groan rips through him. There’s a gentle crease in his brow, furrowed in the way that tells you it’s so good: the tight heat of your pussy, the slick stretch of it when you work it on him. You ride him rough, make him take it like a good boy.

Another noise stutters out of Jungkook, chased this time by a huff of breath that it takes you a second to realize is a laugh, the tone caught halfway between shy and horny. You watch the way he squirms, restless against his restraints, like he can’t help himself.

He answers before you can ask. “The way your tits— fuckin’ bounce— fuck, I wanna touch you.”

The feeling sinks in as you watch him writhe beneath you, as you shove your hips back harder to pull more desperate sounds out of him. It’s fun, not letting him have what he wants, makes you drip that much more down the length of him.

“You can’t.”

“I know,” he grunts, wrists tugging uselessly. “It’s hot— that I can’t.”

“It is,” you concede, feigning composure despite the hitch in your breath, the way you’re already close to the edge and pushed that much closer by having Jungkook like this. Tied up, all yours, free to do with as you please.

And still fighting against his fucking restraints.

“Think I could rip these?”

It’s like your body acts faster than your pleasure-driven mind can keep up with: all at once, you’re tracing the pouted curve of Jungkook’s bottom lip, then slipping two fingers past it into the heat of his mouth.

“Shh, bunny,” you murmur. He blinks up at you, glassy-eyed as you pet over his tongue, all lush and wet on your fingertips. “Toys don’t talk.”

You press down more firmly as if for emphasis, enjoying how his soft parts give so easily to your touch, and then Jungkook outright moans around your fingers in his mouth.

The needy little sound makes your pussy pulse hot between your thighs.

“Fuck,” you hiss as you take him to the hilt, changing the stroke of your hips to grind against your toy, used solely to get yourself off now. Humping, really, rubbing your clit over the smooth skin of his abdomen where he’s blooming feverglow, flushed with need. Jungkook’s eyes flicker back in his head at the way your pussy’s taking him, squeezed tight like a vice and gushing wet. Working raw sounds out of him, his jaw gone slack; you can feel the blunt edge of his teeth and his heavy, shaky breath on the palm of your hand.

Your thighs shift to spread wider and the next drag of your clit is at just the right angle that pleasure surges up in you, undeniable, overwhelming. It’s all you can do now to chase your release, to keep rocking yourself into it, Jungkook’s thick cock plugged up inside of you and drool slicking out of his mouth to drip down your wrist.

“Gonna make myself come on my pretty little toy,” you manage to gasp.

Jungkook’s eyes find yours, burning intensity, the way he gets, and then he closes his lips tight around your fingers in his mouth and sucks, as if he’s begging to be used, and it sends you over the edge all at once. Your head tips back as your orgasm kicks through you, white noise pleasure, enough to get lost in.

Hips still rolling, you grind yourself through it, the waves of your climax swelling and receding again, until you finally drop forward against Jungkook’s chest, breathless and buzzing all over.

You let your fingers slip out of his mouth, exhale a laugh as they skip over the defined ridges of his stomach when you wipe your hand dry, taking full advantage of the fact that he’s powerless to stop you.

“Shit, that was hot.”

Jungkook’s voice is hoarse with desire as you shift to find the curve of his neck under your mouth, trailing kisses until your lips brush over the pretty lines of ink just behind his ear. He’s still thick and stiff inside you, with a steady pulse-throb that tells you how badly he needs to come, how worked up he is from being used as your personal hump-toy.

“Yeah,” you echo, paired with a tentative rock of your hips that makes your cunt flutter, overstimulated, tugs a little whine out of Jungkook, too. Your tongue feels thick in your mouth as you breathe against his flushed skin.

“Think I— wanna keep using my toy. Kinda feel like being greedy.”

Jungkook’s cock twitches, shameless, at your admission, again when you flick a thumb over the silver jewelry studded through his nipple. There’s a part of you that wants to keep him like this, his leaking-hard dick filling you up while you purr nasty shit in his ear, just to see if he can come from it.

“Might ride it until I break it.” You scrape your teeth up his neck and he moans. “Gonna take all I can give you, bunny?”

His throat jumps visibly as he swallows, fights to gasp a desperate “uh-huh”. Answers with his body, too, arching up to press himself deeper into you, rubbing the slick, hot tip of his cock into your front wall in just the right way to melt pleasure down your spine. You reward his eager submission with a soft kiss, then lick along the seam of his lips, enjoying the sweet little noises that pour into your mouth when you open him up.

Still intertwined, his tongue stroking over yours, your hand goes fumbling for the nightstand, comes away with the slender cylinder of your vibrator, and switches it on before slipping it down to press between your bodies.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook groans as you nestle the shuddering bullet between your folds and find the bud of your clit. You know he can feel it too from the way his hips jerk beneath you, the steady buzz engulfing his cock as you squeeze your pussy around him, all lush sensitivity from your first orgasm. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.”

“You can.” The words are hardly more than a warm exhale from your mouth to his, your lips brushing. “But I’m not gonna stop.”

You don’t give him time to respond or even heave in another gasp of air before your thumb finds the button at the base of your vibrator, clicks it once, then again.

“F— ahh!”

Jungkook’s body jolts like a live wire as he falls apart beneath you. You sit up to take in the whole of him, your free palm slipping to the jut of his hip, fingertips splayed out and pressed heavy to anchor.

Pinned down and helpless, he trembles through the hot rush of his release, dick buried deep and pulsing as it all comes spilling out of him.

“That’s it, baby,” you coo. Your nails scratch lovingly against his skin to coax him out of it— taking such good care of your toy. His breath is punching out of his chest in these ragged, overwhelmed gasps, sweat glittering at his temples while he whimpers through the comedown. So fucking beautiful like this.

The hum of the vibrator rolls through you, strong enough with the change in angle that your eyes drop shut to focus on the feeling.

Jungkook whines when you circle your hips with him still tucked up inside of you— it’s a wrecked little noise, high and sweet, underscored by the thick squelch of his cum starting to leak back down his shaft. Your thighs tense just right from the filthy sound of it, and then it’s all throbbing velvet glow in your core as you clench up and come on his cock again.

“Fuuuuuck, bunny,” you groan up to the ceiling, your head tipped back as it washes over you. “God, yeah.”

You flick the vibrator off when it gets to be too much, let it go rolling down the mattress— the bedroom feels bigger for the silence. Sweat slicks at the back of your knees, warm spring breeze still licking through the window to flutter the sheer-gauze curtains.

You’re fluttering too, all over: the kick of your heartbeat, the breath stuttering out of your lungs. The throb of your cunt, split open and drooling out juice, messy-wet fresh fruit.

The sound of the bedsheets shifting has your lashes flickering open again, and there’s Jungkook. Dark hair fanned out on the pillow, wrists bound, and that look in his eyes. Like he can take a little more. Like he’s waiting for your cue. Like there’s this whole-heart want brimming up inside of him, making his blood run hot.

He’s still hard between your legs.

“Go on then,” you tell him. “Give me another one.”

With a concentrated growl, Jungkook flattens his feet to the bed, grips tighter to his restraints for leverage, and starts to pound up into you. You can feel an overstimulated shudder in the stroke of his hips, how his cockhead twitches, sensitive, as it rubs over your g-spot. But he doesn’t stop; doesn’t even lose his rhythm.

He fucks you like a machine, and it’s all you can do to brace your palms against his chest and tip forward, rocking yourself down to meet him thrust for thrust.

The harsh slap of body on body is almost enough to drown out the rest: your open-mouthed panting, Jungkook’s groan when your nails dig crescent moon slivers into his tan skin, the gravel edge to your words, “Yeah, like that, fuck me just like that.”

It takes you a second to notice, the sound buried beneath it all, but then it floats through— Jungkook’s sucking his breath in through his teeth now, his jaw tight. You can see the jump of a muscle working there.

“Does it hurt, baby?” you gasp, more air than voice.

Jungkook’s head drops back against the pillow, brow pinched from the focus of keeping his pace steady. He’s breathless, too, when he answers: “Feels good.”

“Feels good because it hurts, huh? Is that how you like it?”

A strangled noise tears out of his throat, and he shoves up even harder, like he wants to fuck you into the shape of him. You splay one hand over the column of his throat and watch his pretty brown eyes blink-blink back at you, and then you have to bury your moans in the crook of his neck as you come hard.

The world around you returns a little at a time. First, the tremble of your tired thighs, the dull ache that’s already started to bloom at the bend of your knees. Then, Jungkook’s body curved up against yours, hips still slow-rolling as you exhale in hot, jagged bursts against his skin. There’s the distinct drip of his cum sliding out of you, and all the sticky-wet places where it’s slicked up the swell of your ass.

“Shit,” you laugh when you manage to find the breath for it. “That was crazy.”

Jungkook shifts a little, but doesn’t respond, and then he makes this wet, soft gasp. You realize he’s shaking beneath you.

You sit up so fast the room spins; your tether is Jungkook’s face, cupped lovingly now between your palms.

“Oh, baby.”

A fat teardrop traces a path down his cheek. Another threatens the dark border of his lashes. He can’t wipe them away with his wrists tied up, but you can see him trying to hold back even as a sob shudders through him, his chest heaving.

“You okay, my love?” you murmur, swiping a thumb across his face. He sniffles, nods, hiccups a little. The tip of his nose is flushed pink. “Shoulda told me to stop, if it was too much.”

“It feels good,” he insists, and his voice cracks around the words. “It’s just a lot. But ‘m not— don’t wanna stop.”

“No? You sure?”

Jungkook sucks his lip ring into his mouth as he nods again, sniffs again. That sends a bolt of something through you.

“You’ve been so good to me,” you praise, and you tip your ass back until his softening cock slips out, smeared glossy-white with your shared release. Jungkook’s still wound-up, pulled so tight inside himself that he flinches when you slip a hand down to ease his legs apart, sliding lower on the bed to slot yourself between them.

“Can I take care of you, bun?” The question’s posed sweetly, chased with a flutter of your lashes and kisses dropped down on the flat plane of his abdomen. “I’ll be gentle.”

He whimpers— answers in the way his hips lift up to meet your mouth.

Your hands press flat to Jungkook’s broad thighs, and you can feel the overwhelmed static-shiver beneath your palms, little tremors that jolt through his muscles. Head dipped low, you drag your tongue up his length and it punches a thick sob out of him, hips stirring like he’s trying to crawl up the bed. But you just keep going, pin him down and make him take it, working broad flat stripes over the whole of his shaft, root to tip. Tasting him, salt and slick and your own heady flavor; you lick him clean.

Jungkook comes quietly this time, feet flexing restless on the bed as you tongue it all out of him. You swipe two fingers through the mess on his stomach and suck that up, too.

Humming around the digits in your mouth, you surface from between Jungkook’s legs to take him in: eyes closed, face wet with tears. You can see the rise and fall of his chest as he gasps for air, shaky, coming down from it.

“Alright baby,” you soothe, shifting up to straddle his chest, knees sinking into the sheets. “All done now, just breathe. Gonna untie you.”

Reaching up, you gently tug open the knot on one restraint, then the other, easing Jungkook’s limp arms to the mattress. Your thumbs find his wrists to massage soft love-circles in case he’s gone numb there, gently coaxing him back to earth.

“Did so good for me, bunny.”

There’s a whimper, and then Jungkook’s surging up to kiss you, forceful enough that you give a little hum of surprise against his lips.

His hands are all over you, all at once, tugging at your legs to drag them forward until you’re flat on your back on the mattress. Your sore thighs shake when he shoves them up and apart, and then a sharp buzz rolls right over the bud of your clit and you keen. Fuck, when did he even grab the vibrator?

“Wanna make you come again,” he pants, and you smile even as your spine arches off the bed. Of course. You should’ve known.

It’s Jungkook all over, you think, hyper-focused on your pleasure even when he’s out of commission, and then you feel the head of his cock push inside and you both gasp. Your cunt aches, so swollen that it’s like he’s stretching you out all over again when you take him to the hilt.

“Oh my god,” you breathe. Jungkook’s hips snap, punctuated by a strangled grunt of effort, but he keeps going, making soft little sweet-pain whines with every thrust, brow scrunched as he brute-forces his way well past overstimulation.

He’s still crying, you realize.

Tears roll down his face and drip onto your collarbone, and everything’s somehow hotter for it. His length is slick, painted in the stored-up remnants of his cum, and you can hear the squish of your folds at the base of his cock each time he fucks it all back into you, so dirty it makes your head spin.

“J-just like that, baby,” you groan, overwhelmed; you can barely get the words out. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.”

Jungkook buries his face in the crook of your neck, and you can feel him shaking, dripping, still rabbiting his hips into you, and then the hum of pleasure reverberating through your body explodes. Your clit throbs with an orgasm that feels endless, dizzying, divine. Jungkook outright sobs as your walls pulse pulse pulse around him, begging for every last drop.

When it’s all too much, you swat at his hand, mumbling shapes that aren’t words until the vibrator’s switched off and tossed away. He pulls out with a thick wet sound and the hiss of his breath between his teeth.

Together, you come down slow. Exhaling staccato, limbs tangled, bodies flushed and sweat-sticking.

Jungkook moves first: flops onto the mattress next to you, entirely exhausted, the way you’ve seen him get after a particularly rough workout. Scrubs at his face with one hand, this shy laugh fluttering out of him. “Can’t believe I cried. Ah, so embarrassing.”

You turn onto your side, tugging his hand away so you can press a kiss to his open palm. “Don’t ask me why but… in the moment? Very hot, actually.” A flush colors his cheeks and you giggle. “My perfect little crybaby.”

He flashes you his signature cocky grin, eyes squeezing shut as it morphs into something nearer to a wince. “Fuck, I’m so sweaty.” A breathless gasp, again. “And my dick hurts. I think I came dry that last time.”

“Poor baby,” you coo, not quite sincere. “You really could’ve stopped at… what, three?”

Eyes closed and still smirking, he shakes his head, damp hair falling in his face. “No I couldn’t have— I’m Jeon Jungkook.”

“You certainly are.”

[fookingmuffins]

it's time to go

James potter x reader

Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.

Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.

A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)

You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.

"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.

You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.

"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.

"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.

"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.

"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.

However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"

"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.

But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.

On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.

The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?

Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.

You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.

By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.

The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.

"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.

You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.

"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"

"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.

"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.

Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.

"Y/n I can explain!"

" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.

"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.

"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.

"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."

"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.

James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.

"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.

He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.

[infamous-if]

Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update

Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk

✮ — Part 2 + rewrite

Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!

It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao

Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)

ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!

✮ — December will be for

planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.

Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions

I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!

work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!

And also take a small breather because I am moving!

✮ — Patreon

I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3

✮ —

My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!

That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!

[begrudging-fudanshi]

So i stared reading windbreaker after i saw your post about it , it's wholesome manga with amazing fights

in your opinion Why didn't nii satoru reveal Sakura's past until now ? Why was Sakura alone ?

Hell yeah. Welcome to the fandom. I'm glad my propaganda has been working.

To be honest, I've been thinking about this series way too much over the last couple weeks, so this is probably going to be A Lot. I am dumping a lot of accumulated thoughts in here and simultaneously trying to keep a bunch of other thoughts from cluttering it up. If any of this feels disjointed, it's because I've been trying (I swear) to not make this like 10,000 words long lmao.

(CW: Wind Breaker manga spoilers + discussion of child neglect, trauma, feelings of worthlessness, parental loss, grief, and a suicide attempt in the context of the series. Hope you're ready for some pain.)

I'm going to answer your questions in reverse order, because I think they're actually very closely connected.

Sadly, my read on Sakura's past is really dark. Based on what we know so far, there's a lot to suggest that Sakura has been badly neglected for a long time, both physically and emotionally. Based on his lifestyle and the way he talks about himself, I really struggle to believe that he's received any genuine affection or care in many years, if ever. (I'm so glad he was able to go to Furin.)

The flashbacks at the start of episode 1 of the anime suggest he was taken in by relatives who didn't want him, and I think they basically set him up for failure in every way. They seem to have done the bare minimum required of them by the law, like sending him to school, but I can see no evidence that they did much of anything else. Like, what kind of asshole sends a 15-year-old kid to live alone in a barren apartment with literally nothing to wear except his school uniform? Caring people wouldn't let a kid live like that. (That said, I have a bad feeling that his lifestyle seen in chapter 56 is an upgrade compared to what he had before.)

Given this, it's clear Sakura really means it when he says he's always done things by himself. I think this is why he looks so torn up when his friends show him real kindness and why he's so sensitive to anyone showing affection. I also think this means that he really wants to forget his past. This is a big part of why we haven't seen it revealed yet: Sakura isn't ready to revisit it, himself.

---

Something interesting about Wind Breaker's backstories is that they all (as far as I and my notes can remember) follow a consistent pattern. They're not just lore dumps that tell us about the character's past. They actually follow each character through a process of changing their beliefs about themselves, often based on their view of the past. This is why they're all in the first person. Some of these changes happen in the present while others are part of flashbacks, but either way the process is basically the same.

In each backstory, the character starts out believing something about themselves that gives rise to a contradiction that keeps them trapped. This belief somehow keeps them from living their best life and, often, stops them from changing their ways to make their best life possible. However, someone else helps them challenge that belief, giving rise to a revelation that lets them change how they see themselves. This change enables them to see new possibilities and lets them move forward towards the life they want.

For example:

Umemiya believed his parents would blame him for their deaths, so he couldn't let himself grieve them nor believe that he deserved to live. His guilt blocked out his memory of the event, keeping him from remembering what really happened. However, a nameless(?) Furin student and Shitara helped him realize that his parents saved him and were happy to see him survive. Thus, he was able to grieve and imagine a future for himself other than his self-destruction.

Kaji believed that his rage was uncontrollable and couldn't even see himself as human. Hiragi helped him realize that he could manage his triggers and change his behavior to be able to find acceptance and live his life.

Tsubaki believed that she couldn't like pretty things or express herself how she wanted. Ito and Yui helped her learn to dress up and present herself the way she liked, allowing her to accept herself and transition. (I know she's not canonically transgender but that's still the best way I can see to describe it.)

After Yui's death, Ito believed that she might never have truly loved him. Tsubaki, Sakura, Suo, and Nirei help him realize the secret meaning of the tree that she planted in his garden, letting him live his life without worrying if she was truly happy.

What's important here is that the character must be ready to have their beliefs about themselves challenged so they can understand their full truth. Otherwise, their story of their past would be incomplete. (Consider what Umemiya's backstory would have sounded like if he still believed he was a murderer.) In fact, we already have an example of this that I'll get to, next.

Because Sakura isn't yet in a position to challenge the beliefs holding him back, he can't reveal his past, either. He has friends helping him, but it's going to be a while before they've truly shaken his most unhelpful beliefs.

---

That said, this process has actually played out with Sakura once before and I think it tells us a lot. It shows us exactly why he's not ready to reveal his past.

In chapter 1, Sakura starts out believing that he's meant to always be alone, leading him to initially reject the people of Makochi. Then, Kotoha helps him acknowledge that he does want to be accepted and convinces him to give it a shot. However, while this is great progress and very necessary for Sakura's growth, this isn't a complete resolution. He still has an even more deep-seated belief that has to be addressed.

In addition to asserting that he's meant to be alone, Sakura also lays out another belief in chapter 1 that I argue really gets to the root of his deepest trauma. He doesn't quite say it explicitly, but it underpins both his belief that he's meant to be alone and that he's worth nothing but his fists.

The closest he comes to naming it is when he describes Furin. He says it's "The lowest of the low, hated by all others, worth nothing but their fists … It's a battle to determine the trashiest of the trash. That suits me perfectly."

I have to admit, the first few times I heard and read this, I completely missed how fucked up it is for a 15-year-old kid to say this about himself. I think I've gotten so used to taking shonen protagonists' confident declarations at face value that I just didn't question it, in the same way I've learned not to question, say, 12-year-old Gon deciding to become a pro hunter and travel the world fighting adults. The way it's presented very deliberately (and, I think, cleverly) blunts the impact as well, making use of shonen stylistic conventions to disguise it as stereotypical shonen protagonist bluster. This mirrors how Sakura masks his deeper feelings about himself.

However, as I read through the rest of the manga, it became clear that this is what Sakura actually, deeply believes. He's 15 years old and he truly sees himself as trash—in other words, worthless. The only way he can imagine finding worth in himself is through his strength. Even then, this is only for Sakura himself. He can't let himself imagine anyone else ever valuing him for any reason, so he must find self-worth all on his own. To put it more sharply, he can't imagine deserving unconditional love. Based on what little we do know about his past, this belief stems from a lifetime of emotional neglect.

The thing is, Sakura's belief that he's worthless is actually, paradoxically, a coping mechanism. As horrible as it is, it helps him rationalize his life in a way that lets him keep living despite his neglect and isolation. If he's truly worthless, then he's never had a reason to expect being loved or accepted by anyone—he's always been meant to be alone. This is how he can tell himself that he doesn't care and has given up. This lets him bury the pain of his isolation and pretend it doesn't truly hurt. By believing that he has always been worthless and unable to be (to deserve being) loved, he has had no reason to get his hopes up for the future, nor any reason to question why he's been treated so badly in the past. He can accept it (has to accept it), even if he hates it, because it was always inevitable.

Notice how Sakura reminds himself that he's given up right before punching the Spaltips' leader in chapter 1. This is the story he tells himself to contain the hurt. He does something similar in chapter 56, reminding himself that he's supposed to be alone as he grapples with his friends' kindness. He bludgeons himself with this reminder as a way to push away thoughts about his past. He then shifts his focus to thinking about his growing care for his friends rather than his feelings about himself. Once again, Sakura makes himself turn away.

The trouble is, this belief is his only means of holding back an unfathomable amount of pain inside of him. It's the only way he knows how to live with all the myriad ways he's been treated like shit. To doubt his own worthlessness, therefore, is to expose himself to overwhelming grief. Because, if he isn't worthless, he then has to ask himself why he had to suffer for so long. That kind of question is too awful for him—for pretty much anyone—to face on their own. This coping mechanism protects him, but it also traps him and prevents him from finding relief.

This comes to a head in chapter 1, as the townspeople surround him and the old woman tries to tend to his wound. As she reaches towards him, he screams at her to stay away. This act of genuine kindness fills him with terror. It's not just that he fears eventual rejection—Sakura fears the idea he could be accepted at all. Remember, he's just "failed" to win the fight and, worse, ended up having to be protected because he got hurt. Sakura could accept Kotoha's kindness earlier because he "earned" it by stopping her attackers, but now there's someone trying to help him for what feels like no reason. For Sakura, who must believe that he was never meant to be loved or accepted, being shown kindness for no apparent reason feels like an existential threat. It threatens to undermine the walls that he's built inside of him to keep going. This is why he allows Kotoha to help him instead—he can still rationalize her help as transactional.

This rationalization provides his means of escape. To accept his place in Makochi, he only has to accept that he doesn't have to be alone. He doesn't have to believe that he can be valued or loved unconditionally, nor that he deserved anything better. Instead, Sakura finds a way to "earn" his acceptance: The chapter culminates with Sakura accepting Bofurin, which he shows by leaping over all the others to kick the Spaltips' leader in the face.

By showing his strength, by upstaging the heroes and claiming his place among them, Sakura proves (to himself) that he is strong enough to be accepted. Rather than accept that he could always have been valued and accepted unconditionally—that he always could have been loved—Sakura would rather believe he's earned his acceptance based on his strength.

In this way, Sakura can continue to believe in his own worthlessness, saving himself from having to face his past. Because of this, even as he's learned that he can be accepted, he still maintained his belief that he was meant to be alone from the start (again, see chapter 56). This lets him continue to justify his past suffering and minimize his own pain.

This comes back around in chapter 162, when Sakura's classmates talk about his low self-esteem. Despite their efforts to show him that he's loved and valued, Sakura ultimately still believes he's only worth his strength. We see how he rejects Umemiya's praise, unable to understand how he could be praised when he "failed". Sakura can't believe he could be valued when he couldn't even single-handedly save the town.

But, as long as he believes this, his past will remain a mystery, not just to his friends and to us as readers, but even to Sakura himself. Just as Umemiya's repression kept him from realizing that his parents loved him, Sakura's repression keeps him from realizing that he has always deserved to be loved. He cannot acknowledge, can't even recognize, the pain he's endured in his life, because he still has to believe it didn't matter. Because of this, he can't let himself grieve or admit that he has always deserved better. He's still trapped believing he must always prove his worth through his strength alone.

Of course, changing this isn't going to be easy. He will get there. His friends will help him through it. Still, it's going to be rough. I think it'll be a while yet before he's ready to tell us about his past.

---

Addendum

All of that being said, something I really love about Wind Breaker is how hopeful it is and the way it shows Sakura living despite his past. To that end, I want to note one last thing: Sakura can still smile, despite everything else. No matter what he tells himself, he still feels hope.

I mentioned above that I didn't recognize Sakura's low self-esteem at first because it's masked with stereotypical shonen protagonist confidence. I think this is very deliberate by the author. We're supposed to see Sakura as cool, confident, and badass in the beginning, only to realize that he's also hurting inside. (Emphasis: that's also, not instead. These aren't mutually exclusive.) Sakura's cocky grin is part of a mask he wears, but it's not a lie.

While I believe Sakura has suffered a lot, it's important to emphasize that he's not broken or doomed to drown in grief. What I've laid out here is what I believe is going on beneath the surface, and I do believe he's going to have to face his trauma eventually, but let's not forget that our boy can still smile after all of that. The fact that he can smile doesn't mean that he's not hurting, but the fact that he's hurting doesn't mean he only feels pain. Let's not do him dirty by miring our view of him in grief. Instead, as we acknowledge how much he's suffered, let's also be happy at just how far he's come and hopeful for how far he'll go in the future.

[slackerlifewhere]

In defense of Ron Molan

Since I already wrote a post about Deruth, I'm going to make one for Ron as well because I'm absolutely confused why some readers hate him too.

Fair warning once again, if you haven't read or finished the first volume of TCF, please be prepared for SPOILERS. Thanks!

So...this is going to be a long post too. Be prepared lmao

Isekai and Abandonment

Like with Deruth, the most common thing some readers hate about Ron, is how he abandoned OG Cale and didn't seem to notice a difference when Cale and Kim Rok Soo got swapped.

Like I mentioned in my post about Deruth, please put yourself in their shoes before criticizing or hating them. Imagine this.

You noticed that a friend or family of yours, someone who you know for how many years, suddenly changed. The changes aren't obvious. There are some parts of their personality that are still them and some that have changed. What would you first think?

Transmigration? Long lost twin? Clone? Possession? No. The first thing you'll probably think is they have a problem that they can't tell you or maybe they just want to change. You'll be confused but you won't think too much about it. It happened but what are you gonna do about it? Ask them? And if they don't tell you why, would you push for it? Maybe you'll continue to watch and see if you'll find something incriminating but it won't ever answer your questions unless the other person talks.

So is Ron at fault for not noticing this after serving OG Cale since he was a baby (and changed his diapers lmao)?

Yes and no.

He should've asked Cale, former KRS, more about the topic. He should've pushed because he's an assassin. It's his job to know more. But he didn't push because there is some truth to Cale's first impression of Ron.

He cares for OG Cale but it's not enough for him to leave behind his thirst for revenge and completing his goals. And in all honesty, I find it logical for him to leave OG Cale to join Choi Han in TBoaH.

He lost his whole family to Arm, with only Beacrox as his reminder of what he lost. He was accepted as a butler for the Henituse family but that doesn't mean he forgot his past as an assassin. He'll always be an assassin and he'll leave behind whatever attachments he has depending on how useful that attachment is.

He only stayed in TCF because OG Cale was replaced with Kim Rok Soo. He was intrigued but not enough to completely leave his mission. It only changed when Cale got angry when he lost his arm and helped him gain a new one. He now owes Cale a debt.

Before, he owes the Henituse family a debt because they gave him a place where he and his son can hide in. He repaid that by being their butler and possible protector from other assassins or danger (tbh I dunno if they know he's an assassin). Still, his mind is focused on any opportunity to find and kill the organization that ruined his life. So it was easy for him to leave when he first noticed the connection Choi Han has with Arm.

Saying he abandoned Cale because he doesn't care is not completely wrong but it's also not completely right. He has layers. (Like Shrek and his onion lmao)

Lemon tea and Scary butlers

Another reason why some readers don't like Ron is, funnily enough, because of the lemon tea that he keeps giving Cale. And because he scares Cale.

Lemon tea? Seriously?

Some say Cale hates it and Ron keeps giving the drink. They say it shows that he doesn't care about his master and that he disrespects him. And yet, here I am just finding this absolutely hilarious.

Personally, I don't like tea so I understand why Cale doesn't like lemon tea. But I just see this interaction with Ron as a comedic relief and them bonding in their weird way. Sure, it gets repetitive, but after looking up what benefits a person gets from drinking lemon tea and knowing all the mess Cale gets into 24/7, it's pretty tame that lemon tea is the only thing he gives to Cale. These two are so emotionally stunted but that doesn't mean Cale will stay quiet if he truly doesn't like the tea Ron keeps giving him.

He's the master and Ron is the butler. Ron and Beacrox are both loyal to him. He can order Ron to stop giving him lemon tea anytime he wants. He talked down stupid nobles and priests for worse things they did and didn't do (because of Mary). I don't believe he can't tell Ron that he's being disrespectful to Cale as his butler.

If your reason is Cale is too scared of Ron to tell him to stop, then I think you don't understand their dynamic.

Cale finds everyone, not just Ron, scary. He finds the kids scary. He finds Choi Han scary. He finds the Whale Tribe scary. They're OP and can kill him before he can blink. And yet he's very close to all of them.

Ron scares him because Ron is an assassin and is very good at his job. And honestly? A normal person would be scared of Ron. But the difference is, Cale is not normal and he can also kill anyone if he wants to (are his ancient powers and skills he gained as KRS decoration to you guys?). Him being "scared" is him being respectful of Ron's abilities. He acknowledges Ron's strength but also finds the way he smiles when he can kill someone, "scary" (understandable).

So no, the whole lemon tea thing and him being scared of Ron that he can't tell him to stop giving the stupid tea doesn't make sense as a reason for hating or disliking Ron.

Oh, and last thing.

Ron actually gave Cale a sweet tea once early in the novel. I think it was before the war and Cale was stressed with a lot of things, including maintaining the shield around the territory. So...yeah, he shows concern for Cale in his own twisted way.

Again, layers.

___

That's my opinion about the matter. In short, Ron is a human being who can be selfish and dangerous. He's a person who has emotions despite being an assassin. He has his own goals. It's not that hard to understand him.

[aurumacadicus]

This is more AA than MCU but I can't imagine AA Tony doing this lmao.

--

"Mr. Stark," Peter said, looking up from his phone.

"I'm not doing another TikTok," Tony answered immediately, not looking up from his tablet.

Peter scoffed, as if he wasn't going to suggest just that. "I was just going to ask if you ever wondered what Captain America sees when he looks at you."

Tony lifted his head, preemptively exhausted. "His name is Steve."

"It feels illegal to call him that," Peter said defensively. "Do you know how many times I've had to watch his school specials? 'So. You got detention.'"

Tony turned to look over the couch at him. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that it took him six takes because the first five, he followed it up with 'you fucked up' instead of 'you messed up?'"

"Yes," Peter answered. He began tapping frantically at his phone. Probably trying not to look suspicious as he asked JARVIS for access to the blooper reels. "You didn't answer my question."

Tony sighed, closing his eyes, then turned to look at him again. "I know what Steve sees when he looks at me. I'm out of the bathroom and ready for work by the time he gets back from his runs."

Peter blinked back at him, probably going for innocent and failing, because Tony knew him. "No, I mean how you look from his height. You're five-seven--"

"Five foot eight," Tony cut in. "And Steve's six feet tall. It's not like he's a giant and I'm an oompa loompa."

"Steve's six-foot-three," Peter told him gently.

"Steve is not two thirds of a foot taller than me," Tony sputtered, offended. He was a perfectly respectable five-eight and Steve was a frustrating six-foot brick. He was not three inches taller than that. Tony would not allow it.

"He is," Peter assured him, with that same gentle tone. "JARVIS?"

Tony whipped his head around to glare at one of JARVIS's cameras. There was a long pause, as if he was considering his answer. Finally, though, he replied, "From current measurements, Mr. Parker seems correct in his assertions."

"Not if I take him out at the knees," Tony hissed.

Peter stared at him for a very long time, looking unsure of whether he wanted to continue the conversation. Finally, though, he rallied. "I think we should see what Steve sees."

"My beautiful face," Tony answered sternly, looking back down at his tablet. He poked at some measurements for the engine he was designing for a moment, then turned to scowl at him. "And how do you suggest we do that?"

Peter finally hopped off his stool and walked over to the nearest wall, crawling up so he could fix his phone to it at the proper height with some webbing. He tapped at the camera for a moment, then hopped back down onto the ground and waved up at it. "Ta-da! This should be about the height of Steve's eyes."

Reluctantly, Tony set his tablet aside and got up off the couch. He already didn't like what he was seeing in the camera from a distance.

"Why is there a camera on the wall?" Natasha asked, stepping out of the elevator. She began moving toward the kitchen, circling the camera's main view.

"We're checking to see what we look like to Steve," Peter offered.

Tony grimaced as he looked up into the camera. "Oh my god. Natasha, come here."

"No," Natasha answered. "I'm hungry."

"I look like I should be," Tony began, covering his mouth in horror as he moved from side to side. "Oh my god." He turned back to the camera and lifted his hands up like he would to wrap them around the back of Steve's neck. "I look like I should be saying 'up,'" he finished tearfully.

Natasha appeared beside him a second later, looking horrified in the camera's reflection. "This is what he sees when he looks at me?"

"You're even smaller than I am, what the fu--" Tony covered his mouth again, dropping his gaze down to his feet so he couldn't see the video anymore. He tipped his head up to look through his lashes, unable to help wondering what that looked like to Steve, and let out a howl of dismay. No wonder Steve always teased him about pouting when he was in a sulk or mad.

Natasha took a step closer and looked like she instantly regretted it. She pulled a knife. It didn't look threatening, even to her, and she knew she'd follow through on a stab. "Oh," she said, and then her hands flew to her head, turning away from the camera. "Oh my god Tony."

"This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me," Tony whispered, reaching up to grab the phone down.

"Thor's taller," Natasha choked out.

Tony froze, hand halfway toward the phone, then let out a scream and crumpled to the ground as if he'd been shot.

Peter grabbed his phone while Tony and Natasha were recovering and bolted for the elevator. He didn't want them blaming him for this revelation. He passed Steve, Thor, and Clint as he was rushing out of the lobby and managed a short but sincere, "I'm sorry for what's about to happen to you."

"What?" Steve called after him, aghast, but Peter didn't turn.

[decepti-thots]

spurred on by your Drift and Roddy post from earlier, i'm terribly curious about your take on Prowl and Rodimus' dynamic/relationship? i never read through LL so i may be missing context but my read on the Overlord thing was very much that he was forced onto Rodimus, much the same way Megatron was, but i never really see anyone talk about them in relation to each other

I am going to first answer this purely based on the text of the comic, which is all I consider to be definitively canon. Then after we establish what I feel about that, I'll bring up some word-of-god as additional optional context.

Based on what we see in the comic in early MTMTE, we establish very clearly that Prowl and Rodimus do not get on, and specifically that Rodimus openly detests Prowl. He mocks him to his face; it's neither subtle nor very surprising. And in the Costa run, we see in Prowl's burn book he has a low opinion of Rodimus, so. We can assume they are openly disdainful of each other as members of command and that this is long-running.

I think this negativity, the open disdain, is where the read that Rodimus was somehow 'made' to take Overlord comes in. Why the hell would Rodimus do a favour for someone he didn't like? One he does not stand to benefit from? It therefore tracks it was somehow coerced.

The big question though is... if that was the case, why did Rodimus not bring it up to Drift. There's a post-RiL scene where Rodimus bemoans that he agreed to do it because he realizes it was a stupid-ass decision now it's all gone to shit, one Drift opposed, in The Sound of Breaking Glass:

“This is my fault, not yours. We were standing in Prowl’s office, and he was trying to convince me that bringing Overlord onboard was ‘right and proper’, and you called me an idiot for even considering it.”

If Rodimus had been pressured, even blackmailed, he'd be taking this opportunity to cuss out that Prowl forced him to, or perhaps even to cuss himself out for bowing to whatever pressure Prowl subjected him to. He does not. He says Drift called him an idiot for considering Prowl's persuasion. And what that says to me is that Prowl indeed just persuaded Rodimus, seemingly by painting it as a contribution to the post-war Autobot cause that would reflect well on Rodimus.

Which makes sense, because while they respond to it very differently, Rodimus and Prowl have one thing in common; they are unhappy with how the war ended and how anti-climactic their defeat of the Decepticons has been. Prowl continues to spiral into treating the war as ongoing as he becomes conspiratorial, while Rodimus leaves the planet entirely in an attempt to restore it to a 'golden age' and elide the issue of making co-habitation with Decepticons and Neutrals work. But they're both in denial about this just... being how things are now. As much as Rodimus loathes Prowl personally, he's also presumably being buttered up as someone who understands the risk isn't gone, the Autobots need to still act like they're not done with things, and look, we need that phase sixer, Rodimus, you understand that...

Basically: I think he agreed out of a combination of ego and like... that sense that at least Prowl shared a dissatisfaction with the compromises everyone else was making and which Rodimus felt they shouldn't. And as an impulsive person inclined to trying to make big grand moves and act decisively, but whose judgement often winds up instead simply making him reckless, I find it completely plausible, and have always assumed this is how it went.

As for word of god... well, turns out that was apparently also how Roberts saw it, more or less. Which I found out after the fact. Hah. He's spoken about how he basically thinks that Prowl went 'oh well, if you're not able to step up for the cause, I'll find someone who can do what needs to be done' and Rodimus got defensive and talked himself into it while Drift, I assume, dropped the sycophant act for once and rightfully called him stupid as hell for it. LMAO.

[exercise-of-trust]

everyone clap and cheer for my beautiful daughter who has every disease 🥰 her name is þerindë because her wheel is made out of an embroidery hoop; she is entirely handmade and boy howdy does it show

a whole bunch of things have stopped working since i took that video last night and i'm not sure how much more wherewithal i have to keep messing with her, but i did manage to spin about two feet of something before then! so i'm showing her off a bit now, and if i can figure out what-all i fucked up maybe you'll see more of her in the future. some process and progress photos under the cut (not a tutorial. do not do this. i cannot sufficiently stress how bad of an idea this was and is*)

(*if you are going to do this and have questions not answered here i am always happy to answer them, inbox and dms are open etc, but like. i would strongly advise against it)

here's the hoop! it's about a foot across, with a groove carved out with a speedball. this ended up being way too shallow (who'd'a'thunk) so the final version is a lot deeper than what you're seeing here. the paint stirrers are held in with straight pins because i was worried regular nails would just crack the hoop lmao. my girl is so deeply and profoundly scuffed <3

the flyer is made from three cedar shingles glued together because i didn't have a solid piece of wood large enough. astonishingly nothing broke while i was sawing out the rough shape and it whittled down pretty nicely! the hooks are scrap 2mm copper wire, the orfice is a couple inches of plastic drinking straw, and the pulley wheel is also hand-carved, which is why it looks like a fucked-up oreo and has the weird hitch at the top of the spin that you probably saw in the video 🙃 frankly i am astonished it works as well as it does

the wheel frame is. man. the axle supports haven't broken yet but frankly it's a miracle they're still in place with how much strain they're under every time. the original base was that weird little bit of paint stirrer, which (shocker) did not work out in the long run; it's been replaced by an offcut from the frame and is significantly more sturdy now. it's surprisingly level, though, and turns pretty smoothly all things considered!

the frame was a nightmare start to finish; i've never done any serious woodworking before in my life and the whole thing was just kind of slapped together without a plan or any sort of concrete measurement. it wobbles so fucking bad and every few hours i have to push a couple of the parts back together where the nails are sort of drifting out of the wood. you may observe a weird post sticking out the left side of the mother-of-all; that is supposed to be for scotch tensioning. does it actually do that? sort of! the belt is a length of cotton crochet thread that is, after much fiddling, just the right size to not slip out more than once every three minutes.

treadling was another pain to figure out and i think i probably made it way more complicated than it needed to be. it still doesn't work very well and i can't tell if that's something i can fix hardware-wise or if i just have to suck it up and practice a lot more. turns out feet are not as coordinated as hands! i would say "now i know for next time!" but frankly i am never doing this again. you couldn't pay me. speaking of which, i did the math and at my current pre-tax hourly salary i could've bought two brand-new ashford travelers with the number of hours i spent building my awful rickety daughter. at the end of the day, do i love her? immensely. is she "good"? by no stretch of the imagination.

anyway. this was a terrible use of my time <3 but i do finally feel confident enough in all the parts of a spinning wheel and what they're for that i can brave the dangers of facebook marketplace's "spinning wheel" category without getting too badly scammed! which is pretty valuable in its own right, i guess.

[tonowarii]

can i request a tsu'tey x dreamwalker!reader where he just indulge them in their rambles about earth?? reader is just talking about the most random things like cats and he's just there sitting next to her, listening. could be fem or gn reader, up to u!

(im a sucker for tsu'tey lmao)

and you shall receive!! ❤️ i'm sorry this took too long omg

tsu'tey te rongloa ateyitan x gn! dreamwalker! reader

Tsu'tey would rather feed himself to a thanator than to admit that one of his most awaited (and favorite) past times is where he's sat beside you, hearing you ramble on about anything and everything about your home town, which was earth. A planet away.

Now, his eyes carefully watched you as you made all these gestures from your hands as every expression you made enchanced your story.

Then something sparked in your head as you pointed a finger.

"Now, I don't know if this is a coincidence but have you noticed that we- or the na'vi look like cats!" You turned to Tsu'tey.

Tsu'tey's brows furrowed. What in Eywa was a "cat" and why does it look like them?

"What is a cat?" Tsu'tey asked, hoping that it further indulged you in your rambling.

You gasp out loud like what he said was something blasphemous. It had him confused.

"Okay, cats! Where do I start?" You think for a moment before you used your hands to show him an approximate size of cats back on earth. "They're this small... Wait is this correct... That reminds me I haven't seen a cat in a long time.." You battled with yourself as Tsu'tey chuckled.

Knowing someone was listening to you, you went back on explaining. "They're this small, at least I think so," You think again. "And they have ears like us." You said, pointing at his ears. "They have noses like us too." Then pointing at his nose.

"And don't forget about the tails, they have that too." You say, motioning to Tsu'tey's tail who was curled next to yours as you sat beside each other.

Tsu'tey nods, following your words.

"But they can be quite mean sometimes... And annoying, but we, humans, love them nonetheless." You added.

"Ah, can they.. Speak?" Tsu'tey asked.

"No, not really they just.. Meow." You answered.

Tsu'tey chuckled at the sound you made. Truly this 'cat' sounds something he'd like to see up close due to your impressive storytelling.

"Then why do you find them annoying?" He continued to ask more questions, getting to hear your voice being filled with wonder as you reminisced truly had an effect on him.

There was indeed no one like you.

"As far as I can remember, they tend to whine at me begging for more food when I just fed them!" You laugh. "I had a cat once and gods," You sighed.

"He always knocks things off of my table back in my house."

Tsu'tey seems amused. "Like- he would just look at me and let's say there was a pen on the table, he'd look at me-" You say, looking at Tsu'tey to demonstrate how he'd look.

"And he's using his little paw and his audacity to flick it off the table!"

Even though Tsu'tey couldn't understand parts of your sentence he truly felt that it annoyed you, but your smile said otherwise.

"Am I... like cat?" Tsu'tey asked.

Your eyes widened and you laughed. "I mean, yes.. Well yea actually now that I think about it-"

"You find me annoying?" He tilts his head, smirk now forming his mouth.

You quickly shake your head. "No! No! You are far from annoying." You defensively state.

"But you are like a cat." You smile up at him.

"How so?"

You laugh as you think of the reasons, holding a finger up for each one.

"One, you like to climb, don't you? Second, you have this habit of staring at people like you're judging them-"

"I do not do that-"

"Yes you do. Third, you like to be clingy when no one's around and when you're faced with other people you're suddenly this big intimidating creature." You laugh as Tsu'tey scrunches his face.

"I do not like this anymore."

You laugh further, leaning onto him as his arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you close to him.

"See, you are a cat, Tsu'tey, ma yawne."

He shakes his head with a small smile on his face.

"Oh! And fourth, you purr." You giggle, nuzzling yourself on his chest, indeed hearing a faint purring from him as you lay close.

Tsu'tey shakes his head, rubbing your arm as you thought about another topic you could talk his ear off of.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 10 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Your lesson with Jungkook ran a bit longer today so he offers to give you a ride home but decides to make a stop along the way Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 2.7k~ Warnings: Suggestive language if you think about it lmao but nothing too crazy a/n: I can't believe it's been this long since I last updated this story 😭 (almost 2 months) I know this chapter is short but the ball is coming up in the next chapter so this was a good stopping point. Hardly edited per usual lol Start from the beginning

"Late again princess. I should start counting at this rate" Jungkook taunts, his back to me as always when I walk in the room. "Prey tell," he continues, turning to face me and sizing me up like a predator does his prey. "what might your excuse be for being late this time? The roads were quite clear last I checked" he presses, walking closer and closer to me. 

"I-I forgot my shoes at home. I know you told me I needed to break them in so..." I say, being truthful but keeping the matter of being stopped by Foster on my way out of class to myself. 

"Why are you so nervous? Have I done something to frighten you already?" he asks, circling me and slipping my bag off my shoulder before walking over to the chair I usually sit on when I change into my heels before class. 

Gone is the easy going and attentive Jungkook from Sunday, leaving a hungry dominant one in it's wake. 

"I'm not frightened" I argue, following him so I can sit down but when I reach for the box that contains the shoes in question he gives me a warning glance, leaving me recoiling and letting him do as he pleases. 

Okay so maybe I am a little frightened but I just don't know where we stand and that fact alone has me on edge. 

"You look at me as though you were afraid I might gobble you up" he smirks, kneeling before me and helping me slip them on. "You look at me as though you would" I throw back and the look in his eyes goes from mischief to one of challenge, knowing now that I'm willing to play into his little game. 

"Is that something you'd like?" he asks, licking his bottom lip making my eyes draw straight to them. "Is that something you'd like?" I echo, throwing the taunt right back. He smirks softly and runs one of his hands up the back of my calf, no higher than my knee but still sparking a flame alight inside me.

"Answering a question with a question, I was under the impression I taught you better than that" he says and removes that hand that I begged would climb higher, him choosing to stand up and straighten his appearance instead, walking towards the sound system to turn on the endless ballroom music I'm sure we'll be dancing to. 

Damn him and his flirting! Can't he ever just follow through with one thing? 

~~~~~

As our lessons draw to a close he hands me a bottle of water, leaving me accepting and downing half of it in one go. 

I feel his eyes on me, watching as a stray droplet trails down my cheek to the column of my neck and collarbone until it disappears under my blouse and it seems as though he wishes he could tear it away and find where else that droplet might've traveled. 

I finished drinking moments before it disappeared, watching him as he watched it, his eyes fluttering up to mine seconds later and noticing my stare. Clearing his throat in response he turns away and goes to shut off the sound system for the rest of the day. 

"Your dancing is improving" he says once he's walked back towards me, giving me a towel to dab off the light sheen of sweat that had appeared during the final three songs. "I only stepped on your foot once today" I say feeling a tad victorious. 

"Twice" he corrects gaining him a frown. "That one doesn't count! My foot barely grazed yours" I groan and he chuckles, "Still hurt though" he says with a shrug. 

"Really?" I cringe, hating the thought that I somehow still seemed to hurt him even after all the time we've spent running through all these steps together. He grants me a devious smile before stepping towards me, one of his feet closer to mine now. I look up at him with a questioning gaze, waiting for what he might say but it wasn't something I had expected. 

"Step on it" he says, smirking at the confusion now running through my whole body leaving me recoiling instead. "What?" I question, baffled by the absurdity of the request and he chuckles, thoroughly amused with my reaction. He glances down at his shoe and back up at me, daring me not to and I narrow my eyes at him while contemplating it for a second but decide to do it anyway, being met with a hard shell encasing the front of his foot.

"Steel toe dress shoes? Really" I roll my eyes, walking over to my stuff so I can take my heels off, feet thoroughly abused with the whole task of breaking them in. "They're very useful when you're in the line of work that I'm in" he responds, amused by my reaction of him revealing his secret to me. 

"I bet they are" I respond and once I'm back in my flat shoes again I stand up but lose my footing after having spent all this time on my toes. "Are you okay?" he asks, catching me right away. "Yeah I'm fine. Dancing with new shoes was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be" I explain and he nods his head, understanding completely and lets go so I can stand on my own. 

"Were you planning on teaching me anything else tonight? It's already a little past the usual time we wrap things up" I ask, checking my phone and then glancing outside, seeing that the sun is long gone. 

"Oh I apologize, I seem to have lost track of time. Let me drop you off then" he says, grabbing his keys. "I drove here though, and I'd hate to have James send someone to pick up the car again" I try to refuse, ultimately knowing I'll lose the battle but still doing so nevertheless. 

"It's fine, I can come pick you up from home and take you to campus when I drop off Bam at his trainers in the morning" he says and I stop in front of his car while he goes to the passenger side and opens the door for me. 

"Isn't that a little too much? I don't want you going out of your way to do that for me" I say, making excuses so he doesn't feel like he has to do all of that. "It's completely fine y/n. I pass by your house on my way home anyway so I don't mind adding a couple of extra stops since I don't have much planned in the morning" he replies and I nod my head, slowly making my way over to his car. 

"I really don't mind driving in the dark Jungkook my vision is completely fine" I relay, trying to back out once again but this time he walks up to me and ushers me over to the car by my waist so I have no other option but to get in. 

"Okay but I-" I start, turning to face him before I get in, not knowing how close his face had been to me, leaving our lips mere inches apart. He tilts his head and hums, urging me to continue. I try to find the words I mean to say but they are buried in the deep recesses of mind, whisked away with the proximity between us. 

"I'll pick you up once your classes have ended as well. That way you'll be here on time tomorrow" he says, touching my jaw for a second before leaning in. "Get in the car" he whispers against my cheek leaving me quickly turning around and doing as he says before he can see my expression. 

Seconds later I could've sworn that I heard him chuckle and mumble a quiet 'Cute' under his breath before closing the door and rounding the car to his side. 

~~~~

After we've been driving for a bit I notice how he's pulled off onto a dirt road and I'm instantly confused. 

"Is this where you plan on killing me?" I joke, curious as to where we're going. "If I wanted to kill you Pretty," he starts, paying close attention as we round a bend, pausing in his response for a second. "you'd already be dead" he finishes, sending a chill through my body and when he notices how stiff I've gone he gives me a sly smile before turning back to make sure we get to our destination safely. 

"I went ahead and messaged Matthew and asked him to inform James that our lessons ran a little late so they won't be too concerned" he says, putting the car in park and unbuckling his seatbelt. "So this is where you're going to kill me" I say and he chuckles again before tapping me twice under my chin. "You're cute when you're scared" he says before opening his door and rounding to open mine.

I cross my arms over my chest, thoroughly annoyed by the fact that I let him get away with stuff like this to the point where I actually prefer it. I'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing that though. Knowing him though he's probably already very aware of it, otherwise he wouldn't keep pushing my buttons. 

When he opens the door I glare up at him keeping that same posture and he smirks down at me while offering his hand to help me up. "Where are we?" I ask and he lets out a dry chuckle. "Get out of the car and you'll find out" he temps and I look between him and his outstretched hand that is still waiting for me to take and against my better judgement I decide to dance with the Devil. 

Who would blame me though when he looks at me like that, a heated gaze that never truly acts upon the sinful desires hidden behind them.

Stepping out of the car we're met with an open expanse of land, not a single soul or building in sight with only the low hum of vehicles barely audible from the highway behind us. "What is this place?" I question marveling at the serenity of it all, breathing in the could night air and letting the chill surround me. 

I shiver slightly as it's seeped through my clothes a lot sooner than one might think and just as I'm about to wrap my arms around myself for warmth I'm met with a coat being draped across my shoulders and when I turn around I see he's looking up towards the sky. 

"Have you looked up yet?" he ask, the body heat from him wearing it moments ago still present making me shiver for another reason but once I do look up none of it matters anymore as I take in the sight of thousands of heavenly bodies strewn across the clear night sky. 

"I-" "You were so concerned with the thought of me harming you that you didn't even notice the clear purpose of me wanting to bring you here" he say, cutting off whatever nonsense I was about to let tumble out of my mouth. I sigh in response, not bothering to ruin this moment of peace with nonsensical bickering since he's clearly done this with me in mind.

"How did you find this place?" I ask after having taken in the sight of it, countless start twinkling above us. "I went driving one day and my car broke down so I pulled off near the entrance of this little dirt road and while I was waiting for the tow truck I walked down the path and well..." he says, trailing off making me fill in the obvious blanks. 

"I see" I respond and we stay silent for a while, the both of us standing there with all of our thoughts angled up towards the heavens until he finally speaks again. "I should probably get you home" he says, turning towards me but I shake my head.

 "No, no not yet. Can we stay a little longer? Please?" I ask, this moment difficult to let go just yet and can see him smiling at me from the corner of my eye as I continue to keep my eyes on the stars above, praying that I'll be able to feel this way forever...

~~~~~

When he parks his car in the driveway and opens the door for me he keeps me there for a second, not letting me get away so fast this time. "Thank you for letting me keep you a little longer tonight" he says, ghosting his hand on my waist and it's then that I realize I'm still wearing the coat he let me borrow. I try to take off but he grabs both of the open sides and pulls them together, trapping me inside and in turn pulling me closer to him.

"I wanted to give your jacket back to you" I mumble since the intimate space between us makes even that sound too loud. "I realize that, but I want to get you inside first before taking it back. Don't want you to catch a cold after all the effort I put in to make sure you stayed warm" he explains, one of his hands now holding onto my waist while the other keeps the coat closed.

I hum in response and look away as I notice he's started to study my features. "The ball is this weekend" he says and I nod my head. "I know" I mumble again, my expression now one of doubt. "Hey" he says, cupping my face, trying to make me meet his gaze but my eyes then turn downward in response. 

"There's nothing to worry about y/n, I promise" he says and I nod my head again, not bothering to utter a word in response. He tilts my chin up and I give in, letting my eyes peer back into his and I notice how sincere he looks, an expression I don't think I've ever seen from him leaving me holding my breath and waiting for him to continue. 

"No matter what happens just remember that I'm proud of you. You've done well in our lessons and I have no doubt that everyone is going to love you" he reassures me making me feel a little more at ease with the thought of it all but also nervous about him saying things like this to me.

"Thank you Jungkook" I whisper and he smiles in response before reaching into the car to grab my bag that's still on my seat and handing it to me. "Let's get you inside" he says placing his hand on the small of my back, walking me to the front door and stopping right outside of it, waiting for me to unlock it. 

Once I step inside I turn around to say something but he steps inside making me take a step back but he takes another step closer so he's standing right in front of me, hardly any space between us now. 

I blink up at him, not really sure what his plan is before he slowly unzips the coat the rest of the way, making my breath hitch, the feeling of him taking my clothes off even if it's as simple as this making my brain short circuit. Once he unhooks it at the bottom he pushes it off my shoulders and leans in to help it slide down my arms leaving me shivering once his warm breath hits my neck. 

He hums, satisfied by my response and places a feather light kiss under my ear before quickly pulling back and pretending as if nothing had happened meanwhile leaving me completely flustered by his ministrations. 

Let's just say I'm lucky neither of my parents came downstairs to greet us. 

"Sweet dreams" he says playfully and slips out without another word, walking over to his car and driving off. I only close the door once his car is out of view, my back against it now, catching my breath as I think about everything that happened today and all I can think of is 'How the hell am I supposed to take much more of this?'

prev / next Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Rest of the tags are in the reblogs 💜

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

I Can't Say Part 1

Summary: Eddie thinks Reader is cheating on him and breaks up with her. He doesn't believe her when she says she has a good reason for acting how she has because she says she can't tell him.

TW/CW: Eddie Diaz x Reader, Insinuation of Suicidal Ideation, Break Up, Cheating Accusation

Requested?: No   

Word Count: 3,995

A/N: Mmmmm I wanted to write break up imagine and had a short simple idea but that turned into what is now sitting at 7,823 words total. Here's the first half while I work on finishing the rest. At this point, I think I should just starting Character x OCs because I put way too much thought and detail into my "Reader" lmao. Ms. Ma'am has an entire background in my head... I also feel like I should start writing a novel or screen scripts because I love writing long works like this. Anyways, hope you enjoy the read! Love to all! Requests are Open!

[ A/N: the amount of space this man takes up in my brain rent free is getting to be ridiculous... ]

--- Your POV --- 

"I think we should break up," Eddie says, refusing to even look at me. Stun locked and silent, I can't believe the words that just came out of my boyfriend's mouth... 

"W-what? Why?" I ask, feeling very confused. 

He gets up from his seat on the couch beside me and starts pacing as he runs his fingers through his hair, "(Y/N), do you think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been distancing yourself? Or how about all the times you've been much later than you should for just making a quick stop on your way to my place?" 

"Eddie I-" he puts his hand up to interrupt me. 

"There's also the phone calls and text messages all throughout the day that you always take in private," he pauses, seemingly hesitant to continue. "The other night when you were an hour late, I looked your number up on Find My. You were out in the hills, (Y/N). No where near the route from your place to mine." 

It dawns on me, "You think I'm cheating on you?" 

He stops pacing with his back turned to me. I watch him rub his face before answering, "Yes, (Y/N). What else am I supposed to think?" 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe that I have a good reason for all that stuff?" I answer, quite hurt that he’d think so little of me. 

He whips around to look at me and I can see the tears in his eyes, "Oh yeah? Like what?" 

I look down at my lap, fidgeting with the friendship bracelet Chris had given me not too long ago. It's quiet for a few moments as I weigh my options before whispering, "I can't tell you..." 

"What happened to always communicating, huh? What happened to never lying to each other, (Y/N)?" he asks, his voice getting a small bit louder as he throws his hands in the air. Unfortunately, the motion makes me flinch, a reaction I never thought I'd have to Eddie. 

I bury my face in my hands for a few seconds, taking deep breaths, "I promise, Eddie. If I could tell you I would." 

His voice is quiet now and he sounds hurt, "What happened to the promises that we made?" 

I clench my jaw, attempting to keep myself from saying something I shouldn't. I hear him cross the living room and leave, slamming the door shut behind him. I stay seated on the couch for what feels like forever, attempting to wrap my head around what just happened. I should've just told him what's going on but I promised Talia I wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone.  

Talia is a good friend of mine, more like a little sister, that I worked with at the 127 before being transferred to the 118. Several weeks ago, she called me, in the middle of the night, sobbing and gasping for breath. She begged me to come over. When I got there, I found her curled up in a ball on her living room floor, still sobbing profusely, and she only cried more when she saw me. Hours later, when I finally got her to calm down enough to speak, she explained that she was scared to be alone because she knew her head was in a dark place but I had to promise her that I wouldn't tell a single soul. So, I did. I stayed the night with her and made sure she knew to call me if she needed to before leaving for work the next morning. 

I'll admit, I have been distancing myself from everyone. I've been scared that I'd let slip what was going on with Talia. I'd made several stops to check on her on my way to Eddie's or home from work. I had contemplated just moving in with her at one point. Talia has been calling and texting throughout the day lately. Sometimes, because she needs support and sometimes just to let me know she was okay. She's gotten a lot better since she called me that first night, so much so that she agreed to see a therapist and has her first appointment in a couple of days. My train of thought derails off into other subjects like wondering why Eddie didn't trust me, wondering what it would be like moving forward, and plenty more.  

--- Third Person POV --- 

Knowing he needed to talk to someone, Eddie found himself pulling into Buck and Tommy's driveway. He sat there for a good bit before forcing himself out of the truck and up their front steps. Minutes after he rings the doorbell, Tommy answers looking very tired and quite disheveled. He immediately knows something is wrong due to the tears still running down Eddie's face and motions him inside. 

As Eddie steps across the threshold, Buck rounds the corner into the living room rubbing his eyes and yawning, "Babe? Who is it?" 

Tommy makes his way over to the coffee pot and starts a brew as he answers, "It's Eddie, Honey." 

Buck snaps his head toward his best friend, "What happened? Is Chris okay?" All Eddie can do is nod as Buck places a hand on his shoulder and directs him to the couch, "What's going on, man? Is it (Y/N)? Is she okay?" 

As the two sit down, Eddie drops his head into his hands and whispers, "I don't know." Buck and Tommy share a look over the back of the couch. Tommy holds his finger up, telling him to give Eddie a minute. The house falls quiet aside from the trickling and gurgling of the coffee pot. Buck does his best to wait patiently, glancing every few seconds at Tommy who still leans against the counter but now with hawk eyes on Eddie. Buck knows (Y/N) is like a little sister to Tommy and silently begs him not to get angry. 

Soon, the coffee is done and Tommy pours three mugs before joining Buck and Eddie on the couch, handing a mug to Buck, placing Eddie's on the coffee table in front of him, and taking a sip from his own. Buck carefully takes a sip as Tommy clears his throat, "Alright, say something." 

Eddie wipes the tears from his lashes, picks up the mug, and takes a deep breath, "I broke up with her," he stares down at the coffee warming his hands for a moment before taking a sip. 

Buck's jaw nearly hits his lap and Tommy grits his teeth. Never in a million years did they see this coming. Buck was pretty sure he'd soon be helping Eddie find a ring that (Y/N) would like and planning a bachelor party. Tommy was fully prepared to walk her down the aisle one day like she'd asked him to and thought for sure Eddie would be the one standing at the end of it waiting to put a wedding band on her finger. Hell, the entire 118, their friends and family, as well as some of the guys down at the 127 had bets going on when the lovebirds would get engaged. 

Catching sight of the pleading look in Buck's eyes, Tommy shoves his anger aside, although his tone still comes out a little harsh, "Why?" 

Eddie clenches his jaw and attempts to keep his tears at bay, "She's been distancing herself from me and taking weird calls and texts in private. She's even been lying to me about where she's going. I caught her in the hills on Find My a few nights ago when she was supposed to be on her way to my house with a quick stop at the gas station." 

"You can't seriously think she's cheating on you?" Buck insists. 

"What else could it be?" Eddie challenges, now looking his friend in the face. 

"I- I don't know but (Y/N) would never-" Buck is cut off as Eddie sets his coffee back down & stands up to pace. 

Tommy is deep in thought when Buck looks to him for assistance. He remembers (Y/N) having a friend who lives out that way. He can't for the life of him remember who but he knows he accompanied her to a birthday party there not long before she transferred. Buck leans forward and nudges his leg, shaking him out of his thoughts, and points at Eddie who looks like he's going to pave a flat spot into their carpet. 

"What did she say?" Tommy asks, desperately needing to figure out why his friend would be acting so weird and clinging to all hope that it's not what Eddie thinks. 

"She said she had a good reason for that stuff but couldn't tell me what it was," Eddie spits out. Buck and Tommy both are shocked at how quickly his tone has become angry. Buck gets up, aiming to convince Eddie to sit back down but is interrupted when Eddie flings his arms out, "We promised each other we would always communicate and never lie to each other. Hell, we pinky promised and you guys know how seriously she takes those! Why?!" he pauses, "Why wouldn't she just tell me what's going on instead of making up some excuse that she can't even say?" 

Tommy has had enough, "Sit back down and lower your voice." He knows Eddie is just angry because he's hurt but he won't let him be angry at her.  

Eddie is taken aback, "W-what?" 

"You heard me," Tommy stares him down, daring him to refuse. Buck thinks he's going to have to snap them out of it because of how long they stay staring at each other but finally Eddie gives and sits back down, dropping his head into his hands once again. "Where exactly was she?" Tommy asks, searching for any clues to what's really happening. Buck is also racking his brain but a small part of him fears that Eddie may be right.  

Without looking up, Eddie pulls his phone out of his pocket and holds it toward Tommy, "I took a screenshot." Tommy's heart hurts when he opens the phone and sees the wallpaper of Eddie, (Y/N), & Chris all smiling brightly. He types in the pin number, Christopher's birthday, and navigates to the photos app. The most recent photo is, as expected, a screenshot of the Find My map. He zooms in as far as he can before pulling his own phone out and bringing up Google Maps. He types in the street name of the location pictured in the screenshot and hits search. Using street view, he attempts to jog his memory but has no such luck. Feeling defeated, he hands Eddie's phone back to him. Noticing Buck hoping for an answer, Tommy shakes his head.  

Abruptly, Eddie stands, "I'm going home. Thanks for the coffee." 

Buck stands with him, "A-are you sure? You can stay the night if you need to." Eddie shakes his head and leaves.  

Buck looks to Tommy, hopefully, as the door shuts behind their friend, "Please tell me she's not-" 

Tommy takes a deep breath, "I don't know, Evan. That's not like her at all but I also don't know exactly why she'd be way out there." 

Buck's features drop into sadness as he looks back toward the door, "What do we do?" 

Tommy pulls him into a hug and rubs his back, "I don't know... I'll try to talk to her in a couple days if they don't fix it themselves. Maybe she'll tell me what's going on." Buck nods into his chest before Tommy gently tugs him back to the bedroom. 

--- Your POV --- 

The next morning, I wake up curled into a ball on the couch. With a full bladder and a crick my neck, I begrudgingly shuffle to the bathroom. As I pass the mirror, the sight of mascara smudged across my cheeks shatters all hope that I had about last night just being a terrible dream. Fresh tears roll across the mascara as I empty my bladder. 

Exiting the bathroom, I head to my bedroom to collect some blankets and pillows before returning to the couch and creating a little nest. I plop down and open my phone to discover several missed calls and texts from Tommy and Buck. I put it on "Do Not Disturb" and then tap on the Doordash app. I order a bunch of junk food and once the order is confirmed I start trying to find something to watch on tv, fidgeting with the friendship bracelet out of habit. 

I could call Tommy and Buck to talk about what happened but I'm sure the reason they've called so much is because they already know. I honestly just want to lock myself up inside my house until I finally wake up from this nightmare. Maybe I'll talk to them in a few days but right now I have two days off work and I intend to spend them drowning my sorrows in ice cream. 

After God knows how many pints of Doordashed ice cream, hours of comfort movies, and plenty of napping, I wake up on the couch once again as my alarm blares from the coffee table. I silence the noise and roll off the couch, landing on my stomach with a thump. I take a few deep breaths, willing the tears to dry up, before dragging myself off the floor and stumbling to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. 

With the water running down my now clean body, I am once again reminded of reality. I have to go to work today where I will undoubtedly see Eddie. I have to pretend I'm okay or even though I feel like crumbling to pieces so my friends don’t worry about me too much. Eddie is my everything. When I asked Tommy to walk me down the aisle after my dad passed a few months ago, I fully envisioned Eddie standing at the other end waiting to say, "I do." I don't how I've survived the past couple days without him when I usually can't even go 10 minutes without talking to him. Hearing the doorbell, I force myself to turn the water off, get dressed, and slap a smile on my face. Talia asked me to take her to therapy this morning so I know that's who is at the door. 

A few moments later, I open the front door, "Sorry, I was in the shower. Give me a couple minutes and we can go." Talia nods so I grab my phone, keys, and go bag from the kitchen where I had left them the night before. As we get in my car, I shake my head, "I don't know why you wouldn't just let me pick you up. It would've saved you the uber here." 

She shrugs, "You've driven to my house so many times in the past few weeks so I figured I owe you one." 

As I crank the car, I give her a pointed look, "Talia, you don't owe me anything." 

She sighs, "You keep saying that but I don't believe it." I simply shake my head, knowing exactly where she's coming from and head toward her therapy office. A short drive later, I stop on the curb to let her out.  

She stares out the window for a few moments so I gently rub her shoulder, "You've got this, Tal. I know you do." 

She takes a deep breath and opens the car door to get out. Before shutting it, she ducks her head back into the car, "Thank you again, (Y/N)." 

I smile at her, "Anytime, kid. Now go before you're late." She mirrors my smile before shutting the door. I watch to make sure she makes it inside before pulling away from the curb and heading to work. I tell myself that I'll try to talk to Eddie today and remind myself that things are going to be okay. 

When I arrive at the station, Buck rushes over to me, "(Y/N)! A-are you okay? Eddie told us what happened." 

I do my best to offer him a reassuring smile and pat his shoulder, "I'll be okay eventually, Buck." He tilts his head and I can tell he's trying to decipher my facial expressions or maybe read my mind. 

As I head toward the locker rooms to get changed into my uniform, he is right behind me, "I don't believe you did it. I know there's something else going on." Unsure how to respond I stay quiet but when we reach the locker room door, he gently grabs my wrist, "(Y/N)... whatever you need, I'm here, Tommy too." I nod and again attempt to smile but just on the other side of the door, I can hear Eddie talking. Buck hears it too but only nods and heads upstairs. 

--- Third Person POV --- 

When (Y/N) slowly opens the door, Eddie is on the phone, "Tia, I promise we will visit soon." 

On the other end of the line, Tia Pepa is doubtful, "How soon is soon, Edmundo?" 

"I-I don't know," he admits as he notices that (Y/N) has entered the room. 

"Dios mio, sobrino," she sighs, "Well, will you please bring (Y/N) with you? I've heard so much about her from Christopher and would love to meet her," Tia asks, clueless to recent events. Eddie hasn't even figured out how to tell Chris yet, let alone the rest of his family who have been dying to meet the woman he just broke up with. 

"I'll have to ask her," he watches her make her way to her locker quietly, never making eye contact. 

"You better. Tell her I'll make some Tres Leches just for her," Chris has told Tia many times that (Y/N) absolutely needs to try real Tres Leches since she's obsessed with the kind you can buy at the grocery store. 

"Okay, I will," Eddie knows he's lying to her but he can't stomach the thought of having that conversation right now, nor does he have the time.  

"Te quiero mucho, Edmundo. Cuídate," Tia says, knowing he probably needs to go soon.  

"Te quiero mucho, tu tambien," as he hangs up, (Y/N) is silently staring into her locker as she changes into her uniform. Eddie desperately wants to run over to her, wraps his arms around her, and never let go. However, the ache in his heart holds him back. So instead, he stands and makes his way to the door. 

As soon as he opens it, she finally speaks, "Eddie..." He pauses briefly but without looking back, exits the room, and lets the door shut behind him. 

Over the next few days, (Y/N) does her damndest to get Eddie to talk to her. Every time, without fail, he ignores her. She doesn't notice him watching her from across the room or keeping an eye on her in the truck. He pretends he doesn't notice her staring at him with eyes full of sorrow every chance she gets. Buck does everything he can think of to make them talk but still no luck. Even Bobby, Hen, and Chimney have their own chats with both of them and come up fruitless. No one can get her to explain her actions and Eddie won’t even talk about it. 

About four days pass before Tommy has a chance to sit down with (Y/N) to talk. He stops by early for lunch at the 118 and finds her taking out her frustrations on an innocent punching bag. He catches the bag after it takes a particularly gnarly hit from her, "We need to talk." 

She looks down at her feet and drops her fighting stance. The two make their way over to a bench and sit in silence for a few moments. They both notice Eddie helping stock the ambulance across the bay. She takes a deep breath, fidgeting with her bracelet, "At this point, I'd settle for him yelling, screaming, and throwing every curse word in the book at me. At least then he'd be speaking to me." 

He pats her knee gently, "I know." She says nothing else so he declares, "I also know you wouldn't cheat on him so what's really going on?" 

She looks up at him with tears threatening to spill and regret heavy in her eyes, "I-I can't talk about it." 

It stings but he accepts it, "But it is a good reason?" 

She nods and looks back toward Eddie, "Yeah... I just wish he would believe that." 

He sighs, "I do too." He thinks for few moments before asking, "Do you remember that birthday party we went to right before you transferred here?" 

She knits her brows together, "Mmmm no, no birthday party. There was mine and Talia's going away party though." 

Tommy mentally face palms, why didn't he think of Talia? On a hunch, "Oh yeah, Talia. How's she doing these days?" he asks as nonchalantly as he can. 

She hesitates, doing her best to control her features so that Tommy doesn't catch on, "She's alright. Still hanging in there." 

He puts two and two together despite her efforts to prevent him from doing so but before either of them can say another word, Bobby is calling everyone up for lunch. The two make their way towards the stairs and as luck would have it, whether good or bad (Y/N) isn't sure, they arrive at the bottom of the stairs at the same time as Eddie and Chimney. A sort of tense standoff ensues, (Y/N) isn't sure if she should go and Eddie is fighting with his instinct to let her go first like he always does.  

Finally, Chimney gets tired of it, "Alright, love birds. Let's get up there and get a few bites in before the bell goes off." He steps between Eddie and (Y/N), who make eye contact when he does, and runs up the steps. Tommy follows his lead, stepping around (Y/N) to meet Buck at the top, who he promptly drags away to explain his latest epiphany. Eddie finally snaps out of it and motions for her to go. She drops her gaze to the steps and takes them up. 

Later that day, when everyone is getting ready to go home, Eddie and (Y/N) cross paths in the locker room again. The tension is thick and the silence is loud as they change into their street clothes. Both of them are internally screaming at themselves to say something and finally (Y/N) does, once again right as he's about to leave, door already open, "Eddie, please." His eyes are locked on the floor and his hand grips the strap of his go bag a little too tight. She takes a step toward him and shockingly he doesn't move.  

"Please, just look at me, breathe in my direction, hell scream at me until your voice gives out. Just give me something to show that you acknowledge my existence," she begs. The only movement he makes is a spasm in his shoulder muscle. 

As he finally shoves himself toward the door, she desperately tries again, "Baby, I miss you. This is killing me because god damn it, I love you." 

He pauses, "You don't get to call me that anymore," before exiting the room.  

From upstairs, Bobby, Buck, and Tommy watch Eddie leave as (Y/N) drops to sit on a bench. They all heard what was said. Buck looks between Bobby and Tommy before stating, “I swear I am this close to borrowing Athena’s hand cuffs, attaching them together, and locking them in a closet.” Tommy and Bobby both hum in agreement as they watch (Y/N) grab her go bag and exit the building. That evening, she does nothing but crash on the couch when she gets home. Having taken a shower at the station and knowing her alarm is already set for tomorrow, she curls up in a ball and drifts into a dreamless sleep. 

Part 2

More 911

Main Masterlist