#my Tim fic was honestly not incredibly ace

[yellowocaballero]

So at some point I remember you said aro/ace people kind of like find your fics.

And I read the tim fic and like a lot of your blog before I realized I was ace. It was like one the reasons it got on my list of things to do.

And boy did I not know about what the ace spectrum was. What could qualify as asexuality. But during the process of educating myself I was like…oh. Oh!

So basically what I’m saying is another one down for the count.

HAH! HAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAH!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to determine if this means that I was a domino or red flag. I'll put it on the list of "sexualities I have aced" anyway. Yes it's been multiple people. It's great.

I find that the sentence that most helped me when I was trying to figure stuff out was: it doesn't have to be a permanent identity. You aren't married to it. You can call yourself ace now and have a different idea of yourself later. If you're worried that your depression/medication/etc is just suppressing your sex drive, then you can just change your mind later. If you have a discomfort/trauma with sex/sexuality and asexuality is what's most comfortable for you right now, go for it. I feel like asexuality is genuinely one of the harder sexualities to figure out, both because it's kind of obscure and confusing and because it's really hard to notice an absence of something haha.

I feel like when it comes to sexualities as identities, because we think of IDs as such an intrinsic part of ourselves we struggle with thinking of them as impermanent or potentially inaccurate. But like...you know, one of my identities is as a daughter (and a sister, and a best friend), but I won't be a daughter forever. Doesn't make me not somebody's daughter now. I have disabilities, but they're not part of my identity, they're just things I have. These can be the case with sexuality too. Relate with yourself however you want.

And yes it's true that almost everybody I talk to who's read a great deal of my fics are ace, especially aroace. I feel like the reason for this is honestly pretty straightforward: decent, long, non-tropey Gen can honestly be pretty hard to find. TBH I always feel as if it's less my writing and more just pure desperation on y'alls part lmfao. Any water in a desert, etc.

But I love this ask, it makes me very happy, haha. Sorry for the diatribe up there - if you feel 100% confident about the ace thing then ignore it, it's just smth I try to say to baby aces just bc it's such a confusing time in anybody's life.

[secondgenerationnerd]

What was Mar-Mar's first reaction to snow? I feel like it was incredibly adorable for the batfamily to witness.

I like to think they call her Riri, but Mar-Mar is cute!

Honestly, I’ve had this in my head for a while so here’s the fic of it!

————

An empty bed is nothing new for Dick to wake to. Especially in this room, remnants of his teenage self on the walls. But the smiling face of a beautiful woman, with impossible green eyes and red curls, from several pictures reminds him of who had fallen asleep in his bed last night.

Before he panicks, Dick walks down the hall. Sure enough, the door to Jason’s room stands open. He pokes his head in. Curled up on her broadchested uncle, his 8 year old daughter sleeps peacefully. Her stuffed elephant hangs from her hand. While she doesn’t wake, Jason’s eyes open, an arm wrapping protectively around her.

“Just me, Jaybird.” He says, smiling at the pair. “I’ll be downstairs.”

Yawning, Jason nods and closes his eyes, arm still around the little girl. As Dick heads down to the kitchen, he makes a note of who Mar’i went to. In the months since she came to Earth, the family quickly noticed a habit of hers.

Whether in their apartment in Blüdhaven or here at the manor, she would often end up in someone’s room. Curled up on their floor, sleeping fitfully. Not every night, but enough they figured it had to do with her late mother. They’d found a simple enough solution—Mar’i usually slept in her dad’s bed and, if she went to someone else’s room, she left to door open.

“Good morning, Master Richard,” Alfred says, setting down a mug of coffee.

“Morning, Alfred,” Dick takes the coffee with an appreciative smile, “Anything I can help with?”

“You may set the table for breakfast.” Dick knows better than to argue with his pseudo-grandfather. Setting the table, the pair chat about the gala from the night before. Then, Alfred asks, “Did Ms. Mar’i enjoy herself?”

Last night was Mar’i’s first Gala, and Dick couldn’t have been more proud of how she behaved, “I think she gave Bruce some gray hairs. He’s so used to our antics, he wasn’t prepared for her being an angel.”

“Clearly a trait from her mother.” Alfred notes, “I recall your goal to see which manor had the strongest chandelier.”

“Hey it was cute when I was 9!” Dick laughs, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

“Daddy?” Mar’i’s sleepy voice warms something in him. Jason walks in carrying the little princess, her stuffed elephant in her arms.

“She heard your heartbeat leaving.” Jason says, handing her off to her father, “Think she’s still fighting sleep.”

“Hey, Starshine,” Dick takes her easily, kissing her dark curls, “You keep Uncle Jaybird safe last night?”

Nodding, Mar’i wraps her arms around his neck, face pressed to his shoulder. Dick’s come to love their morning routine. Sitting at the table while Jason helps Alfred cook breakfast, he reads the news and last nights reports. Letting her wake slowly.

By the time the rest of the family joins them, she’s coloring happily at the breakfast bar. Cass leans over to admiring the drawing of them dancing. Damian feeds Titus and Ace, accepting help from his stepmother. Once they’re all at the table, the dig into breakfast, chatting amongst themselves.

“Oh, look!” Cass says, pointing to the window, “It’s snowing!”

Everyone looks and, sure enough, find thick flakes falling from the sky. Frosting the grass and bare branches with soft snow.

Tim checks the weather, “We’re supposed to get a few inches today. Maybe we’ll get a few days out of it before it turns into a gray slu—“

“Princessa,” Jason interrupts, watching Mar’i heading towards the front doors, “Where are you going?”

Mar’i doesn’t answer. Stepping out onto the front porch, snow crunching under her bare feet, Mar’i stares up at the sky. Fluffy flakes land in her dark curls. Her hands stretch up, flinching at the first flakes until she realizes they won’t hurt her.

That’s when they hear it. Something they haven’t heard much of. A bright warm laugh bouncing off the walls. As they look back at Mar’i, they can’t believe their eyes. She’s floating. A few inches at first, then rising higher and higher.

“I thought she couldn’t….” Tim’s voice dies off.

“She hasn’t since….”

“Tamaraneans fly when they feel unbridled joy.” Dick murmurs. Mar’i keeps floating, giggling at the new sight. His own smile forming, he walks over to her, holding out his arms, “Come back, Starshine. I’ll miss you if you go.”

Mar’i twists in the air, as if it hadn’t occurred to her she was flying. Rather than taking off, like they’d expect most kids to do, she floats down into his arms.

“C’mon, beauty. Let’s eat then we can play outside.” He promises, carrying her to their family.

“Promise, Daddy.”

It’s not a question, and it still makes him smile.

“Promise, promise.”

[daniclaytcn]

Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

i was tagged by @mistmarauder, thank you!!

Top Five Blorbos:

Eddie Diaz (9-1-1)

Nancy Wheeler (Stranger Things)

Nancy Drew (Nancy Drew)

Alex Claremont-Diaz (Red, White & Royal Blue)

Lucy Preston (Timeless)

Top Five Fandoms:

9-1-1

Red, White & Royal Blue

Stranger Things

The Haunting Anthology

Nancy Drew

Top Five OTPs:

Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1)

Lucy Chen/Tim Bradford (The Rookie)

Nancy Drew/Ace (Nancy Drew)

Lucy Preston/Garcia Flynn (Timeless)

Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor (The Haunting of Bly Manor)

Shoutout to Some New Friends:

@eddiediaaz we've been mutuals since last year but i feel like we talked a lot more this year, so i'm very grateful for that ❤ @poughkeepsies is one of my dearest mutuals on here and i love you and all your takes <33 and also @ice-sculptures i've adored following you over this year!

Shoutout to Some Old Friends:

all of my love to the one and only @tawaifeddiediaz, i don't know where i'd be without her to rant and get emotional over our blorbos with and she's just such a wholesome soul!! and of course, @bieddiediaz and @oneawkwardcookie, the besties, i love you guys so so much ❤❤

Favorite Creation You Posted This Year:

i'm very proud of my fic, but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) <3

Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year:

oh gosh this is SUCH a difficult question because there are so many amazing creations from this insanely talented fandom—but i'd have to go with @eddiediaaz's speak now gifset it was so incredible!

People Who Brightened Your Year:

too many people to count—@buck2eddie @lover-of-mine @jeeyuns @diazass @kitkatpancakestack @bieddiediaz @tawaifeddiediaz and so many others i'm probably forgetting!

Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention:

there are just too many people to mention—every single one of my mutuals on here, and all the kind people who've sent me lovely messages (anonymous or not) and all the people who continue to follow me!!

Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year:

elless continues to be an all-time favourite, they have some of the most beautiful fics in the fandom ❤❤

@tawaifeddiediaz is the most talented person ever ily 😘

@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels is another favourite!! your halloween fics were SUCH a treat and i'm sitll working my way through them!!

@cal-daisies-and-briars has fics with some of the most intriguing concept and is honestly a powerhouse—it seems like you're posting fic all the time!

@bvckandeddie i recently discovered your fics and they're just *chefs kiss* so delightful!!

Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year:

no list about gifmakers is complete without @eddiediaaz who is so talented and creative it makes me wanna cry (with joy!)

@padme-amidala while i don't follow most of the media you post gifs for, your work is so stunning and i'm so obsessed!!

@stationoneeighteen i love love all of your gifs especially the ones that focus on the firefam, they're so good ❤❤

@buckleys-diaz alie you haven't been around for a while (and i hope you're doing well!) but you've always been one of the most talented gifmakers in this fandom and i've always looked up to you <3

@roseapothecary your gifs are so so gorgeous and i've adored all of your rwrb sets!! they're so pretty and creative!!

Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024:

the new season of 9-1-1 and also the PJO tv series!!

Tagging:

tagging everyone who's already been mentioned in this post <33

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Favorite current ship in regards to marble hornets and why you ship it? I'm curious 👀

Also have you watched any other slenderverse series other than mh?

Okay, I'm answering this as an excuse to talk about fun stuff, but like, you seem to go after people for drawing nsfw art of Tim?? Because he's like, canonically ace or whatever? So god knows why you're asking me about my favourite ships and shit, given what I write and post about. But I like yapping so I'm gonna yap anyway. But yeah, dude, ace people can fuck.

I am an ace person who fucks. And I have some crazy ass kinks.

Anyway, so, my favourite ship is weird, because I like to THINK that my favourite ship is Jam, but I'm just so very wrong about that and my actual favourite ship is Jaylex. It's my actual favourite ship purely because of sorry it's locked, honestly. I got to make them SO fucked up together, and that's just my favourite thing to write, incredibly fucked up characters being toxic and fucked up to each other, and to me Jaylex are so perfect for that. Neither of them are good people, neither of them are monsters, they both just incredibly fucked up people who don't know how to ask for help/think they can fix themselves without getting help or doing any of the work for it. And Jay being a character who I see as like, almost completely incapable of being vulnerable except through sex and kink is just so fun for me. I love exploring characters and their issues and stuff through smut fics, it's so fun to do "character studies through sex".

Thats how I see them anyway lol. Sorry it's locked has completely warped my sense of what's canon and what's not, like, I completely forget that sorry it's locked stuff isn't canon to MH sometimes 💀 (I'm trying SO hard not to go off on another rant about sorry it's locked and Jaylex. I love them so fucking much. They're so fucking toxic 🥰)

As for other slenderverse series I've watched, I watched and loved EMH, it's still one of my favourite series even though i only really write fics about it when they're vent fics (Vinny and Evan are just soooooooo easy to project onto, y'know?). I tried watching tribe twelve but just couldn't get into it (the observer/kevin is so cute tho) and my boyfriend and i recently watched most of Whispered Faith, but mostly just ended up sticking it out for Lexx, because she's fucking gorgeous.

Oh yeah I also watched mlanderson and I really liked that. AND [My movie 14] which was super cool and a newer one. These two are my favourites behind MH and EMH.

[bluejayblueskies]

5, 20, and 41 for the fanfic asks?

fic writer ask game!

5 is here!

20 - what’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

is it bad if i say getting comments?

honestly, though, it’s getting the chance to explore things in canon that i wish had either been explored more, had gone differently, or had been addressed better. this can happen in the form of fix-it fics--no apocalypse, jmart getting together sooner, tim not dying, etc.--but also in the form of characters’ actions and motivations? i like putting characters in different situations and seeing how they would act, and i particularly like putting characters in situations that inspire sympathy from other characters (which is why i love writing and reading hurt/comfort). i do this a lot with jon and tim, in which i put them in situations where they can begin to repair their relationship, but also with martin and jon in season four and jon and martin post-canon. character interactions are so interesting and nuanced, and it’s so rewarding to write something and have people tell me that it’s in character because i place so much emphasis in my writing on staying true to characters’ personalities and thought processes--just changing the environment and plot around them.

41 - what’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)?

(i’m only going to count tma fics in this, because my most popular isn’t actually a tma fic)

on ao3, i usually judge popularity by kudos, as it eliminates biases between multi-chapter and one-shot fics! so my most popular by kudos is only the sweetest words remain, the fic i did for ace week that explores jon’s relationship with georgie, tim, and martin through the lens of his aceness! i’m still incredibly proud of this one; it’s the first fic i wrote that focuses on jon’s aceness, and being ace, it was very meaningful to me to write <3

on tumblr, it’s this one, which is a kiss prompt about martin getting jon a cat for their anniversary!

[nyctolovian]

Welcome to the Queer Beer Frontier

This is an incredibly self-indulgent word vomit of my sexuality/gender headcanons for TMA S1 Archival Gang. 

Summary: The S1 Archival Gang are all not cishet. That's the whole fic. 

Link to AO3

"Am I right, Jon?"

With eyes glazed over with intoxication, he looked up from his glass. "Huh?"

"Keira Knightley," Tim said, raising an eyebrow. "You're the only person I can turn to for this. The other two are useless in this regard."

"I don't… I don't get…" Jon frowned and glanced towards the other two at the table. Neither was of any help though, because Sasha merely stared at him silently with amusement twinkling in her eyes while Martin busied himself with… something under the table. "What are you talking about?"

"Aww... Doesn't he look adorable when he's confused?" Sasha said, turning to Martin, who sputtered and glared indignantly back at her.

Before Jon could even begin to decipher what just transpired, Tim threw his head back and groaned so loudly a giggly group of girls at the other table peered at him curiously. In a futile attempt to avoid any association to this scene, Jon scrunched his body to hide behind his (conveniently) bigger friends.

His escape attempt proved futile, however, when Tim threw an arm around Jon and tugged him closer. "We didn't invite you to drink with us just so you can sit there looking pretty, boss," he said.

"Wh—" Jon grunted affrontedly, brows furrowing. He rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand and tried to blink through his drowsy alcohol-induced haze. "I really don't—"

"I said, Keira Knightley is the very definition of hot," Tim drawled. "Don't you agree?"

Confusion crossed over Jon's features. "I suppose so."

"You suppose so?" Tim scoffed. "Alright, alright. Maybe she isn't your type. How about Tessa Thompson?"

Jon let out a non-committal noise as he pressed the rim of his glass against his lips. When no liquid hit his tongue, he blinked and looked into the cup.

Empty.

"Lucy Liu?"

Jon lifted his glass and looked around dazedly. "Does anyone—"

"What about Lucy Liu?"

"I really don't— My glass is empty?"

"Oh, sorry. Got distracted," Martin said, rubbing the back of his neck and slowly sliding out of his chair. "It's my round."

"I, well, yes, that'd be—"

Tim barged in with another question. "Okay, then, what about Anna Kendrick?"

"Not really."

"Not really?!" Tim yelled. "Alright, what about—"

"For god's sake, Tim, stop asking me these questions!" Jon groaned. "I'm too bloody ace for this."

Martin blinked at him, eyes owlishly wide with curiosity. "What do you mean?" he asked in a half-squat above his chair.

Jon's initially liquor-tinged face blanched. Suddenly it was show-and-tell in Year 2 all over again, eyes fixated upon him, as he struggled not to cry from stage fright. Except the topic today was far less innocuous than 'My Favourite Animal'. He ran a hand over his face.

Jon wished he could time-travel two hours back to throttle himself for accepting Sasha's invitation to drink. He should have gone home and taken a good long nap.

Unfortunately for him, he was stuck in this crap-hill of a situation. Jon gulped, looking everywhere but at his friends, as he tried to push Tim away. The silence was suffocating and he was pressured to fill it. "Fuck. I didn't mean to…"

Sasha leaned across the table. "Wait, you said you're ace? As in asexual?"

"I… uh, yes?" Jon shrunk into himself. "So what?" he hissed defensively.

Hands shooting up defensively, Sasha shook her head. "Oh, it's not like that! I'm also—"

Tim interrupted her with a whoop so loud that Jon had to yank himself out of his chokehold lest his eardrums burst. Martin had to leap off his chair and cover a hand over Tim's mouth to stop the hollering. Even then, he still did a whole lot of muffled yelling. "We're in public, Tim!" Martin chastised.

Tim tried to pull Martin's hand off, but to no avail.

"I'll take it off if you promise to stop yelling."

He rolled his eyes and nodded. As soon as Martin let go of Tim, however, he flashed the smuggest smirk and said, "So archiving is a gays-only event."

Martin let out a groan and Jon frowned in confusion. "What?"

"We honestly thought all this while you were homophobic," Tim said. "But turns out you're one of us."

Sasha raised her hand. "Disclaimer: I didn't think you were homophobic. Just uptight."

"But I..." Jon muttered, rubbing his eyes. "Wait, so you're all gay?"

"Alright, fellas," Sasha said, clapping her hands. "From the top! I'm aromantic heterosexual."

Tim dramatically placed a hand upon his chest. "And I'm the neighbourhood Bi-con!"

Nervously, Martin said, "Uh, no labels. But not straight."

Invitingly, Sasha gestured towards Jon.

He blinked. "Oh. Uh. Panromantic asexual. Um, and also nonbinary."

"Niiice," Tim said, patting his back hard. "I can't believe we took this long to figure this all out."

"I don't like assuming," Jon admitted.

"But I thought we were being incredibly obvious. Well, me and Martin were at least. We just thought you never mentioned because you were ignoring all of it on purpose."

Jon hummed. He had caught Tim flirting with a couple dudes who came to the archives before. Somehow, however, he had never registered those incidents properly and the idea that Tim wasn't straight had sailed past him entirely. He felt a bit stupid, thinking back right now.

He tried to recall an instance for Martin but drew absolutely nothing, however. "Was Martin very obvious?"

"Oh!" Sasha wheezed, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Martin here is–" she slapped his back "— painfully obvious."

"Huh," Jon muttered. "I really never noticed."

"You really should," Tim said. "Oh, right. Isn't it your turn to buy us a round, Martin? Do you want to get some right now? While we talk to Jon."

The flush that overtook Martin's face made his freckles darken as he resolutely sat in his seat, beside himself with distraught.

"Alright, alright. Enough teasing," Sasha said to Tim. "Martin, I promise I will keep him in his place so just get us the round already."

After Martin's eyes darted from Sasha to Tim to Jon, then back to Sasha, he shot up from his seat with a huff. "I trust you, okay?" Then, he made a beeline for the bartender.

"Am I missing something?" Jon asked. "I feel like I am."

Sasha shook her head. "We're just all feeling pretty excited is all. It's not every day the notorious Jonathan Sims would come out to people."

"Notorious?" Jon wrinkled his nose. "From what I'm gathering, I'm not very welcome in this archival team. First, I'm homophobic and now notorious."

"Hey," Tim said, "you can't blame me for thinking you might be a homophobe. You don't exactly give off queer vibes."

"Aspec people like us don't really get much opportunity to be overtly queer," Sasha muttered, leaning back. "We're a low-lying bunch."

"Hey! But I could tell that you weren't straight. But Jon flew right under my gay-dar. And I'm usually really good at detecting comrades."

"Time to send that radar for repairs then," Jon replied with a smirk.

"You're not much better!"

"I never claimed to be good at detecting comrades."

Just then, Martin came back, and Jon was pleased to finally get more alcohol. With how much he'd been blabbing already, it felt like that kind of night.

After a while, Jon's head started spinning in what felt like cartwheels and somersaults. Drowsily, he placed his head on the regrettably grimy table. He watched the other three's back-and-forth for a while before suddenly stepping in. "Why no labels?" he asked Martin. "Just curious."

"Hm?" He straightened up. "Oh. Just… not too fond of being put into labels. None of the terms ever sit quite right with me for some reason."

"Fair enough," Jon muttered, voice thick with exhaustion. "I took ages before finding what felt right for me."

"How did you realise you were ace then?" Tim asked.

"Don't know. Just sort of always knew but didn't have a word for it. So when the word asexuality came along…" He waved his hand as though to say, "And the rest was history."

"Is it not liking sex?" Sasha asked. "I personally never really got what's so good about romance. I think it's just messy stuff if you ask me."

"Sex is… It's fine?" Jon winced. "I don't hold any strong opinions on the matter although I do sometimes find it quite fascinating."

"Jesus Christ. It's sex, Jon. Not some academic discussion," Tim scoffed.

He pouted.

"Then, how did you figure it out?" Martin asked.

"Oh. I, uh… It just felt like there was something everyone else seemed to have no trouble getting that I couldn't. Turns out that thing was sexual attraction." He shrugged. His eyelids were growing rather heavy. "I quite like being ace, you know that? I've never told that to anyone else," he slurred the admission.

"Are you tired, Jon?" Martin asked.

"Mhm."

"Do you want to take a nap?"

He nodded, rubbing his face against the wooden table. Sasha ran her fingers through his hair and he hummed, eyelids sliding shut.

Jon remembered how frustrated he used to be when he was younger. Curious and stubborn since he could remember, there was no way he would let this thing he couldn't understand simply slide under the rug. He remembered thinking he might be pansexual, but that didn't sit right in his chest. It took years of hunting down a proper answer and a couple more to acknowledge it.

Sometimes, Jon would mourn over the fact that he would never understand what on earth this "sexual attraction" thing was. Most of the time, however, he found himself quite comfortable in his own skin, finally able to categorise his experience. Now, asexuality was a label he embraced.

And it felt good knowing there were people close by who accepted him.

[meaninglessblah-writes]

Hi! Just read (and loved!) your hunger games AU jaytim fic and honestly, it's helping me come to terms with possibly being ace?? tim's pov rlly awakened smth in me ngl anyway just wanted to thank you for sharing ♡ i hope ur food is good today

Hey Anon, I’m incredibly sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to this ask. I’ve been holding it in my inbox, deliberating over how to respond to this. Please accept my apologies. 

First of all, I’m immensely humbled and grateful that my fic is helping you discover more about yourself and your identity. I hope it, and the other DC Aspec Week fics can offer you some more insight into asexuality, and possibly yourself. That was my exact intention when setting up the event, so knowing that it’s helped you to put a word to that feeling is very fulfilling. 

I know from personal experience how jarring and suspenseful it can be navigating sexuality when what you feel is so polar to what everyone is insisting you should be feeling. I hope you can find comfort in knowing your experiences are as valid as everyone else’s, and uniquely yours. 

I give you all my best wishes for your journey forward. My food is exceptionally good today, and I hope yours is too.