#my Grandpa had a ton of interesting stories from living through so many different times

[nekos]

My Grandpa was born in 1922 in a rural area and grew up without electricity or running water as a kid, He rode a horse to school, which was a one-room schoolhouse heated by a coal burning stove (which he blew up with firecrackers once, and at the time that was considered a pretty normal boys-will-be-boys prank instead of the bomb threat it would be seen as today). As a young adult he drove a Ford Model T, which was already really old but it was also cheap and I have friends today who drive cars almost as old as they are. He graduated college shortly after the US became involved in WWII and joined the Navy as soon as he graduated. By this point he was already surrounded by way more technology than he'd had as a kid, and that was before he retired and went to work for NASA, where he had to learn to work with even more brand-new "space age" technology, a very long way from anything he even imagined a few decades earlier. By the time I was born, he and my Grandma had just as much modern (90s) technology in their house as my parents, plus a lot more woodworking power tools that my dad was a bit jealous of, and a slightly newer computer. By then he also wore hearing aids that were a bit too sensitive to high pitched sounds, so he learned to turn off the sound on everything that was capable of beeping, even things like the microwave that weren't meant to be able to be muted and had to be partially taken apart to do so. Even in his 90s, he still had a fancier computer than my family and knew how to use it, although he never really caught on to smartphones, but besides that (which I think was mostly a preference to be able to feel the buttons), he adapted to an entire century of technological development and change, and it's crazy to think that things are changing even faster now and that my life could involve even more change than what he saw in his lifetime.

Like, when I was born it was still common for people to not have an email address or a cell phone, now it's nearly impossible to get by without both of those things. Even by the time I got my first cell phone, it was a flip phone that cost extra to send text messages and only had number buttons that had to be pressed multiple times to type a single letter. It had a camera which took incredibly blurry pictures and could store about 500MB of pictures and music, a significant improvement over my first MP3 player, which had 128MB of storage. This phone has a swipe keyboard so I don't even have to click each individual letter, I just draw a squiggle and the computer in my phone figures it out, sometimes even correctly! I can store 512GB with a G of pictures and music and apps, and it tells me where to go when I'm driving so I don't get lost. Plus it has the entire internet and I can use it to look up anything I want at any time. Smartphones are basically a necessity and there are restaurants where you need a smartphone to even read the menu (not all progress is good). And that's only 10 years since I was using the flip phone! It'll definitely be interesting to see what kind of technology is invented in the next few decades, and what technology will catch on and become important, and what will become obsolete and disappear.

we were the liminal kids. alive before the internet, just long enough we remember when things really were different.

when i work in preschools, the hand signal kids make for phone is a flat palm, their fingers like brackets. i still make the pinky-and-thumb octave stretch when i "pick up" to respond to them.

the symbol to save a file is a floppy disc. the other day while cleaning out my parents' house, i found a collection of over a hundred CDs, my mom's handwriting on each of them. first day of kindergarten. playlist for beach trip '94. i don't have a device that can play any of these anymore - none of my electronics are compatible. there are pieces of my childhood buried under these, and i cannot access them. but they do exist, which feels special.

my siblings and i recently spent hours digitizing our family's photos as a present for my mom's birthday. there's a year where the pictures just. stop. cameras on phones got to be too good. it didn't make sense to keep getting them developed. and there are a quite a few years that are lost to us. when we were younger, mementos were lost to floods. and again, while i was in middle school, google drive wasn't "a thing". somewhere out there, there are lost memories on dead laptops. which is to say - i lost it to the flood twice, kind of.

when i teach undergrad, i always feel kind of slapped-in-the-face. they're over 18, and they don't remember a classroom without laptops. i remember when my school put in the first smartboard, and how it was a huge privilege. i used the word walkman once, and had to explain myself. we are only separated by a decade. it feels like we are separated by so much more than that.

and something about ... being half-in half-out of the world after. it marks you. i don't know why. but "real adults" see us as lost children, even though many of us are old enough to have a mortgage. my little sister grew up with more access to the internet than i did - and she's only got 4 years of difference. i know how to write cursive, and i actually think it's good practice for kids to learn too - it helps their motor development. but i also know they have to be able to touch-type way faster than was ever required from me.

in between, i guess. i still like to hand-write most things, even though typing is way faster and more accessible for me. i still wear a pj shirt from when i was like 18. i don't really understand how to operate my parents' smart tv. the other day when i got seriously injured, i used hey siri to call my brother. but if you asked me - honestly, i prefer calling to texting. a life in anachronisms. in being a little out-of-phase. never quite in synchronicity.

[skribbz]

i know im sending u tons of these but ELLIE

Oh boy here we go

First impression

I actually didn’t know anything about TLoU before I played it except for it being a zombie game. Since zombies have always been a super special interest for me, I had to play it. So actually playing it was like being smacked in the face with emotions. 

But I didn’t even know about the existence of Ellie, so my first time seeing her was when Joel meets her. I thought she seemed cool, but a little abrasive. She did make me laugh though. 

Impression now

Oh god where do I even start. 

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Ellie helped me become who I am today. I related to her in so many ways. Not just in the way she's so nerdy, but also in how she treats others. She was just a kid who was let down by the world around her, yet she still wants to do what she thinks is best for everyone. She's sentimental, holding onto keepsakes from the people she's lost. She can have a bad attitude sometimes, but is just a complete sweetheart. She goes through so much, and even when Joel gives her the option to just go back home, she decides to keep going. 

Ellie came into my life when I needed a role model. The way she had gone through so much, but didn't let it break her soul, the way she always found a way to "endure and survive", meant so much to me at the time, and even now. She also helped me accept the fact that I wasn't straight. Seeing a character who I already admired so much, kissing another girl made me just break down crying. 

When they said that Ellie was going to be the main character of the second game, I cried again. I think the second game just really expands on the reasons I loved her in the first one. She still tries to do what she thinks is best. It's not always the right thing, and sometimes it's very much the wrong thing. But she has so much guilt over Joel, yet still loves him so much she's willing to do whatever it takes to give him the justice she thinks she deserves, even if she knows it's not at all what he would want her to do. (There's so much more to her thoughts and actions in the sequel of course, but I feel like this is one of the most important ones.) It's just like the first game where she's willing to go to any ends to do what she thinks is right, no matter how much it may hurt her in the process. 

I think in the end she has realized that her life means more than just being the cure. Her life matters just because she’s alive, is loved, and loves others, and that message means a lot to me, and I’m sure to many others, too. 

I think Ellie is such a wonderful character, and one of the most well written characters I've ever seen in any media. She really changed my life, and because of that she is my favorite character ever. 

Favorite moment

HOW am I supposed to choose just one. 

Does the entire winter section count? It shows much she loves Joel, and how strong she has become by that point, and how determined she is to survive. She sees just how truly awful some people in the world can be, and despite it she still wants to do whatever she can for the cure.

It’s our first look into what would become a major theme of the second game. While David’s town is an enemy to Joel and Ellie, and we as players hate them, they were doing what they thought was best to survive. Cannibalism isn’t right by our standards, but that’s because we haven’t been pushed to that point. But would we be willing to turn to it if we were pushed that far? Is it more acceptable to kill innocent people to feed a whole community that’s depending on you, or is it more acceptable to just let all of those innocent lives that are depending on you die?

I think we can all agree on one thing though. David is a piece of shit and deserved to be chopped up into teeny pieces. 

Idea for a story

I have many ideas. But I'll go with where I think her story can go from here, AKA my TLoU3 idea. 

The story starts 12 or so years later. Putting JJ around 13. Dina, Ellie and Abby 32-33. Lev around 25. Tommy and Maria probably late 50s-early 60s

Ellie is back in Jackson. She works her ass off doing whatever manual labor she can because all she wants to do is just work herself into exhaustion. She's dealt with her trauma and she’s in a better place mentally now. Now her reasons for shutting everything out is that she’s too scared to try and really reconnect. She wants companionship but is afraid of the pain of losing it all again.

The exception is when she has JJ. He is still the light of her life. She takes him hunting and camping and plays video games with him and they geek out over comics. She has taught him to draw. She wants to teach him guitar like she promised, but hasn’t been able to yet. 

The only time she sets foot outside of Jackson is with JJ.

Dina is of course doing something that uses her skills. Maybe the lead electrician at the dam. They've kept JJ very innocent. Obviously he knows of the infected, and has seen his moms kill them before, but he doesn’t know just how bad it really is, he’s never seen another human die.

Her and Ellie are amicable. They are happy to be co parenting jj but there's nothing between them (for now). 

Maria holds a lot of guilt. Over sending Joel and Tommy out that day, over not giving Ellie and Dina help in Seattle, which got Jesse killed, over letting Tommy get as bad as he did after Seattle. She blames herself for the way Ellie is. She tries to spend time with Ellie, but Ellie is very elusive when she wants to be. She adores JJ though. That's her little great nephew. His auntie is the leader of the whole town and he uses that to his advantage every chance he gets. And she lets him.

Tommy has a little guilt. He doesn’t know Abby is alive, Ellie only ever told him she “finished things” and didn’t talk to him much after that. But he sees how she is a complete mess and lost her fingers. He knows that guitar was special for Ellie, plus any kind of disability is a huge disadvantage in their world. Dina doesn’t let JJ near him. JJ doesn't understand why and no one will tell him

Tommy and Maria never worked out their differences and have stayed separated, partly because of their guilt toward what happened with Ellie. They cared about her like she was their own and they both let her down

Jackson is now huge. They’ve made contact with other settlements, and have trade routes. But Maria is getting older and the town is getting too much for her to run on her own. Tommy is getting up there in age as well, and despite his injuries he still does patrols. But alone. He’s not actively trying to get killed, but he isn’t always as careful as he knows he should be. 

Story starts out and you're playing as Tommy on patrol. He gets ambushed by a small group of people. And lo and behold Abby (and Lev) is there. Tommy is shocked when he finds out who it is, and he asks if she came to finish the job she started. She says no they tracked him since he left the town and were waiting to get him alone because she has news for him. The fireflies have rebuilt stronger than ever and now they’re back out for the cure and are coming for Ellie, because she is the only known source, but also as a form of revenge for what Joel did all those years ago, destroying what the Fireflies once were. They were able to get there first because they only brought a few people and set out before the main squad. Tommy asks why he should believe her, and she says that Ellie saved her life years ago and it's the least she could do to pay her back. (just like. Assume that there was enough info stored with the fireflies that Abby could work out who Ellie is). To keep Tommy from attacking or following him, they knock him out and untie him then leave. 

Control switches back to Ellie who is doing her chores around town. You get to nail fences, chop wood, and carry hay bales. Fun. Later that night, as Ellie is getting home, standing on her porch, Tommy rolls up and confronts Ellie about Abby being alive. They get into a huge fight and Ellie tells Tommy that he fucked up her life. It's his fault she lost Dina. His fault she only gets to see jj when Dina allows it, his fault Jesse was killed. And its his fucking fault Joel died.

He storms off. But then Ellie notices J standing on the street coming to stay the night. She had forgotten this was her night with him. He’d been told his whole life that moms had a peaceful break up, and that dad and grandpa Joel died being heroes, but now he’s upset about what he's heard so he runs back home to Dina. 

That night Ellie is woken up by fighting in Jackson. She runs out to try and find what's going on. All she can get is that fireflies are attacking. She eventually finds out that some travelers shot Maria and a fight broke out. Ellie fights through the town to Maria. She's injured with a gunshot in the arm, but alive still and kicking some ass. She tells Ellie that fireflies came asking for her, and would leave peacefully in return. She told them no and they shot her. Maria says she’ll be okay and tells Ellie to go find JJ and get him to safety. 

She fights through to the other side of town. Because of the commotion, infected have broken in so there’s humans and infected running around killing. She gets to Jesse's house and JJ is hysterical, Dina is holding him down and he's like screaming and crying. His grandpa fought off a firefly who was trying to get in their home and was shot and killed. It hits Ellie that this is all her fault. People are dying because of her again. Anyway she tells dina and robin that they need to leave. Dina says she's not going anywhere without Ellie. Ellie wants to stay and fight, but JJ is more important right now. So the 4 of them sneak out and near the gates they meet up with Tommy. He’s helping get people out and sending them to one of the patrol lookouts that is secure and can fit everyone. 

Ellie sends Dina, Robin and JJ off. Ellie gives JJ Joel's revolver and tells him to keep mom and grandma safe for her. She goes back to Tommy and the two get back to Maria. When they are very close to her, an infected ambushes them and Tommy gets bit. They get to Maria who is losing blood fast and doesn't look well. After a lot of arguing from Ellie, the pair decide to stay. They tell Ellie they’re old now. Maria wont last long with her wounds, and tommy has no chance of surviving his. They apologize to Ellie for the way things turned out and how much she has meant to them all these years. They give her all their ammo except for one bullet in each of their guns, because that's all they need now. Ellie begs them to come along, and she’ll figure something out for them. But they eventually convince her to go. Ellie leaves crying, and Maria and Tommy maybe get a cute moment before cutting back to Ellie. 

Ellie makes it back to where the survivors are and is depressed that there's way less than she was expecting. JJ has cried himself to sleep and Dina notices Ellie is acting strange and pulls her away to ask her. Ellie tells her what happened and Dina holds her while she cries. It's the first time anyone has really been physically affectionate with her in a long time so Ellie clings to her as she lets it all out

The last survivors decide that Jackson isn’t safe. It's too damaged, filled with infected, and no one can figure out what the fireflies were doing. Ellie can't bring herself to say anything about it. 

The next morning, everyone wakes up and is discussing what to do. JJ is still inconsolable. Ellie decides to take him away from the group to get some fresh air. She tells him to hold on to Joel's revolver. They chat and JJ asks what happened to auntie Maria and Tommy. She decides to be honest with him. She expects him to cry, but is shocked to see him become angry instead. He basically swears revenge for them and for his grandfather. This of course stirs up a lot of very negative thoughts in Ellie, but she decides to let him grieve in his own way for now. 

That’s everything I have written out in detail for now. But the main idea would be Ellie becoming a leader to the few remaining survivors as they make contact with the other settlements that Jackson is allied with. She would take responsibility for all of these lives. They would be her reason for fighting now. 

Over the course of the game, Abby would come back and her and Ellie would be forced to team up. There’s no more animosity between the two though, they’re both over it and don’t want to go back down that road. Over the course of the story they would come to understand each other’s actions. They wouldn’t become friends, but they can at least rely on each other. 

JJ would find out that Abby is the person responsible for Joel and Jesse’s death, and she came from the group that killed his grandfather, Tommy and Maria. He’d go into a rage and try to attack her and Ellie would have to hold him back. He wants to know why Ellie is defending the person who hurt everyone they loved. Ellie would have to finally tell him the whole story, and try to keep him from giving into his anger and sadness like she did in the second game. She won’t let her son become like her. She wants him to stay her innocent baby boy, but she knows that’s just not possible in their world. 

Other stuff that I have yet to flesh out:

More about Dina’s backstory. Or at least her last name. 

Lev being a big brother to JJ.

Dina and Ellie falling in love all over again as Dina sees Ellie doing so much for the rest of the community. It’s gonna be emotional.

Ellie teaching JJ how to play guitar, and tearfully singing Future Days to him.

Unpopular opinion

I’m not sure of what people’s opinions on her are. I know most people love her and anyone who doesn’t isn’t entitled to an opinion. 

I guess one is I’m not a fan of her farm hairstyle. Her Seattle look was just so cute. Why did you do that to your head, girl. 

Favorite relationship

Dina of course.

I feel like Dina represented what Ellie could have if she wasn’t stuck in the past. Joel represented her violent past, and her traumas. Dina represented her future, her home, her family. Ellie was so stuck in the past, that she couldn’t see the future standing literally right in front of her. 

It’s a great representation of how she holds onto the people she loves, but also how PTSD works. The past keeps coming back to haunt her. 

Favorite headcanon

I hc her as autistic! I kinda feel bad because everyone else hcs her as having ADHD. But I’m autistic so I say she is too *sunglass emoji*. 

Why I think she’s autistic: 

Obviously her special interests would be space and dinosaurs, and the way she talks about them reminds me of how I get when people let me infodump about my SIs.

The way she plays with her fingers looks hella like stimming to me. In fact, that’s one of my stims!

Her interest in art and music.

Her interest in general nerdy stuff like comics and video games. 

She collects cards, and collecting is a big autistic trait.

The way she’s sort of untidy and cluttered, yet labels all of her boxes of shit. The ordered mess is such an autistic thing.

[imnotgoinganywhereok]

Yeah, I’m back on my Sims 4 bullshit! („ಡωಡ„) After an entire month I started to miss my Sim children. So, I decided to visit them once again and have some memorable screenshots, especially since I only started sharing my Sims experience from 5th and 6th generation. I’d be grateful if you checked it out one day, I think it can be somewhat investing! And there will be more content to come...

Recently I noted down in my little notebook all basic information and cool trivia about each of my Sim children, and I decided to share some of it here. There is a limit of only 10 pictures in one post, and I was afraid the post would be long but, to be fair, this is my blog and I’m doing what I want now! And, I will merely touch upon what is already established up to Delphini (gen 7). Again, there will be more in the future. Apologies in advance (ง ื▿ ื)ว

Generation one: Valentina Owl. I created her back in December 2019 when I got Discover University for Christmas! She’s a “human” Sim and I created her through a story option in CAS, and immediately started having a blast. I was not a huge fan of such USAmericanised concept of university but the game was fun. She was the only one who lived up to be an elder (and then die) because back then I thought I’m gonna have a game where my Sims age and stuff. That quickly didn’t work out for me because I missed her already and decided that I’m gonna fill my entire save with just Owl family. Valentina studied Communications and worked as a policewoman at the same time. A lonely workaholic with only her lavish garden, she finally settled for a relationship with Lilith Vatore. As I noticed in this post, there was no marriage so my entire bloodline comes from a bastard. Lovely! She died from receiving a flower arragement with Death Flower scent. Now she’s on the Gallery.

Generation two: Herbert Owl. He was the one who directly killed Valentina. He mastered Gardening like Valentina, and then Flower Arranging - unfortunate for her. Because of Lilith, he was a vampire - and to be fair, the consequences are haunting me to this day! So, a few trivia, maybe. He is super smart, lives in Glimmerbrook like the next two generations, and has a small garden in his house where he grows crops for husband’s, Morgyn Ember’s, potions. He prefers black and purple clothes, both in his human and vampire form. He wrote only one book in his life, translating to The Real Story of Valentina Owl - whether it’s to cover the murder or not remains a mystery. He makes flower arrangements to this day. Ah, he’s also immune to Sun thanks to one of his vampire perks! That sort of helped him take a better care of his son whom he loves very much.

Generation three: Harry Owl. There is not that much I can say about him. A perfectionist like his father (Herbert), he’s blond and wears both masculine and feminine clothes like his other father (Morgyn), but this is where the comparisons end. See, in my mind he wasn’t a good person, despite having a Compassionate trait. He cared for his grandmother’s (Valentina’s) garden only because of his father’s (Herbert’s) feelings; later he shun away gardening. As a teenager, he often used to drink plasma without permission even if he wasn’t thirsty. Of course, he was also a really bad father, often berating his son for not being “good enough” or not paying attention to him at all. All Harry cared about were his paintings that he was creating in his private office. He married Miverva Charm, started living with her family, and still decided to only socialise with her. No one really knows what made him choose her.

Generation four: Nereus Owl. Born a vampire, he cured himself out of vampirism as soon as he could and later became a spellcaster. All he ever did in life was seemed like a rebellion against his father - clothes, flacking off during studies, loving gardening and shuning away painting. Well, it seemed to his father that Nereus is doing this to spite him. Despite this borderline abuse (because how abusive can Sims really be?), Nereus claims his childhood was relatively happy. Of course, he has no clue where his Erratic trait came from! Or why he grew to be a Perfectionist as well. All he knows is that having over 11 different plants in his garden is what makes him happy and that he doesn’t care if his father approves of him anymore! You could see him for the first time here. What is more, as he grew older, he found that he loves playing the violin and his wife, L. Faba, supports him in any way she can. His natural hair colour is red; thanks, grey-haired Minerva - that one bit me in the ass for next three generations.

Generation five: Elijah Tane Owl. Vegetarian like his father, he was the first one to attend Foxbury instead of Britechester. His father Nereus claimed it should be Elijah’s choice what he wants to do in life, giving Elijah freedom Nereus never really had. Elijah studied Computer Science but was a man of many talents. He was a fan of Handiness, Cooking (especially grilling), and Fitness. He often played (and sang) serenades on a keyboard for his wife, Alessandra Robles, almost maxing out his Piano skill. What made him date Alessandra was a shared Vegetarian trait. His favourite colour accent in clothing is green. He grew six strawberry plants because he wished to have a daughter (yeah, only in Sims 4 lol). There are more info about him in my previous posts as it was this generation when I started publishing my game progress, starting with this one (although my main focus was on Salem).

Generation six: Salem Owl (previously Lavender Owl). There is tons and tons of posts about her, her wife Luna Villareal (both are adults, calm down FBI), and their five daughers: Amaryllis, Wisteria, Delphini (remember this one), Hemlock, and Poppy. All you need to know about her is that she is a hard-working mother who climbed her way to the top and even higher to secure the future of her daughers. She hoped for three children and played with On the Dark Ley-Line lot trait to perhaps have some vampire offspring. Instead, she had twins (Ama and Wis) first, and then triplets (Del, Hem, and Poppy) later! She taught her daughers instruments/skills like Piano, Pipe Organ, and Violin. Once she realised Wis and Hem were vampires, she started growing three Plasma fruit trees, with time maxing out her Gardening skill. She’s on very bad terms with her grandma, L. Faba, but tries to keep in touch with her grandpa, Nereus. She has a bad reputation because of her Insensitive trait and a handful of enemies. She’s sorry for what happened between Lilith and Valentina in the past but the Vatore twins don’t mind. She’s ginger, workaholic, has spiky ears, and a lot of freckles. She’s still very good friends with Vladislaus.

Generation seven (A): Amaryllis Owl. She’s colour-coded (pink) and her clothes and room reflect that. She wrote at least 10 books, has spiky ears after her mother (Salem), and is the older daugher in the house. Eventually, she married Candy Behr. Ama’s twin sister is Wisteria and they share the same eyeliner type. Despite having a twin, her skin tone is lighter than Wis’ but the same as Hem and Poppy’s. She inherited a feminine walk from her mother (Luna). Doesn’t know much about Vampire Lore despite having vampire sisters. She loved doing everything with her twin sister. Amaryllis used to be a naturally-born/spawned hybrid of a vampire and a spellcaster but settled for the latter.

Generation seven (B): Wisteria Owl. She’s colour-coded (purple) and her room reflects that. As a vampire, she aims for a gothic look, often wearing hats and gloves to hide from the sun (with time, she turned into a heliphobe). She’s an actress and a B-Lister. She has a pet frog in her room. To reach her room, one has to walk through Ama’s room first - and they’re both okay with that. Wis is the only one to have the same skin tone as her mother (Salem) and the same nose as her other mother (Luna). Her vampiric form changes her eye colour to glowing purple. She loved goign to karaoke bars with her older twin sister Ama, which led Wis to maxing out Singing skill. As a fully fledged vampire, she decided to reach out to Herbert - they’re good friends.

Generation seven (C): Delphini Owl. Same as Amaryllis - naturally-born/spawned hybrid of a vampire and a spellcaster but settled for the latter. She’s colour-coded (dark blue) and her clothes and room reflect that. She always knew she’s going to leave the house and eventually create more Owls. She pursued the rich life and moved out to Del Sol Valley, eventually becoming a Global Superstar. She used to work in a Musician Branch but quit after time - blame the Freegan trait. She has three cats and lives with her daugher Morgan, and her [Morgan’s] husband Kaito Kaneko, and their adopted son Leven Owl (all of which I’ll talk about another time). She received a lot of awards (meeting with fans, Perfect Llama to name the few) and is very happy that her daugher lives with her. She used to romance with Flower Bunny, and then Octavia Moon - althought the initial plan was to go after Octavia’s husband, Thorne. Del often drinks but since there’s no alcoholism in Sims 4, let’s pretent she likes to stay hydrated! She owes half of her success (or namely, money for and expensive house) to her mother Salem. Loves to sunbathe!

Generation seven (D): Hemlock Owl. She’s colour-coded (white) and her clothes and room reflect that. She’s a make-up enthusiast and a little spoiled by the rich life. Also, she’s very Squeamish and Noncommittal. Despite being a vampire, she’s not interested in improving Vampire Lore skill at all. In her vampire form, her eyes change to glowing white. Her face as as many freckles as her mother’s (Salem). She’s the middle child in the triplets business and her best friend is Poppy. She used to wear glasses as a child... What more can I say? She’s living the dream!

Generation seven (E): Poppy Owl. She’s colour-coded (red) and her clothes and room (and a neon light) reflect that. The youngest daughter in the house. Wild and a Bro, she’s the perfect candidate to hang out with. She’s the only child to be born a human - which most likely makes Luna very happy. She’s a robots enthusiast - not Robotics skill but only figurines of robots. She’s a Geek so what else should we expect? She has her own TV and a stereo in her room (as well as a bubble machine). Poppy often wears her PJs around the house because they’re the comfiest. Despite being a Bro, she doesn’t really have friends beside her family. She’s the one to walk the family dog, Milk.

[no-gays-in-russia]

Someone Has To Die: Review

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of suicide, murder, homophobia.

SPOILER ALERT: major spoilers for all three episodes of Someone Has To Die.

Introduction: Someone Has To Die (”Alguien Tiene Que Morir”) is a Spanish/Mexican miniseries of three 50 minutes long episodes set in the 50s which follows the story of Gabino, a young man who has just come back to Spain after living in Mexico with his mother’s family for 10 years. With him he brings his friend Lazaro, a Mexican ballet dancer. Soon, rumours start spreading that Lazaro and Gabino are in a relationship, fueled by Lazaro’s profession (everyone believes that a male ballet dancer must necessarily be gay) and by the intimacy between the two of them. However, Lazaro is straight and actually attracted to Gabino’s mom, Mina (spoiler: it’s mutual), while Gabino is in fact gay and has feelings of romantic nature towards Lazaro, despite them not being reciprocated. Although they are fake, those rumours keep growing, with the help of Cayetana, the girl that Gabino is supposed to marry and sister of Alonso. Alonso is an old friend of Gabino and it’s made clear throughout the show that before the latter left for Mexico something of homoerotic nature happened between the two of them, although it is never specified exactly what; long story short, Gabino is the only one to know that Alonso is also gay and let me tell you, homeboy has a shit ton of internalised homophobia. When the rumours reach their maximum height, Mina tries to help Lazaro and Gabino run away to Paris, but Gabino’s father, who works at a prison, finds out and, advised by his mother, gets Gabino arrested, while Lazaro is able to escape. Mina and Lazaro are then found having sex in the woods and that’s when chaos ensues- Gabino’s father wants to kill Mina and Lazaro, he tells Gabino to do so, Gabino refuses and points his shotgun at his father, his father points his gun at Gabino, then Alonso kills Gabino’s father, Gabino’s grandma kills Alonso and then Lazaro and finally Gabino kills his grandma. And that’s how the show ends. Another important element of the plot is that, while everyone believes Gabino’s grandpa died in a hunting accident, he was actually murdered by Gabino’s grandma, and young Gabino witnessed it (this is a big part of the reason why he was sent to Mexico shortly after); there’s also a subplot involving the family’s maid, quite significant because it leads to Gabino’s dad finding out the truth about his father’s death, but I don’t want to go into too much detail so I’ll stop here.

General opinion: after watching the masterpiece that is Young Royals (I will make a post on it soon), this struck me as a pretty average show; not bad, but not exceptional either (there are some great elements, but they are an exception). The acting is realistic but stiff, the characters are mostly unidimensional and sometimes unlikeable when they shouldn’t be, and the ending sort of leaves you thinking: what’s the point? The show as a whole is not meaningless at all (quite thoughtful and sensible at times, actually), but that’s what the ending feels like- everybody’s dead, now what? What does that mean? How was that significant to the plot? I liked Alonso killing Gabino’s father, because it shows that after all he cared for Gabino and was willing to help him, and I also liked Gabino killing his grandma, showing his strength and proving everyone who described him as fragile wrong, but I feel like Alonso and/or Lazaro should have been kept alive.

The characters: now, the characters are the most important thing in a tv show for me; if everything’s good but I hate the characters I cannot keep watching it, if everything’s horrible but I hate the characters I will keep watching it. The fact that I got through the entire show proves that they are not terrible, but I didn’t love them either. I will now analyse all of the main characters one by one, starting from Gabino. About Gabino, I noticed a discrepancy between the way he is described by other characters and the way he appears through his own actions and words. The adjectives that are most used to describe Gabino in the show are “dreamer” and “fragile”. Now, I’m not saying Gabino is not a dreamer, but since the other characters stress this aspect so much I would have expected his behaviour and words to demonstrate that much more than they actually did. And speaking of fragile, to me Gabino seemed the absolute opposite- I actually perceived him as an incredibly strong character. Throughout the entirety of the show he went through Hell so many times (got rejected by the man he loves, got beat up by Alonso, got put into jail by his own father, witnessed half of his family and closest friends dying in front of him) and he never gave up. He always responded with strength, murdering his grandma, not committing suicide when Alonso advised him to. However, this discrepancy might be caused by the fact that it had been 10 years since any of the other characters had last seen Gabino (although if I’m not mistaken Lazaro too describes him as a dreamer), so they might describe what they remember him as without realizing how much he’s changed throughout the years. But I still felt like in his case the show did too much telling and not enough showing. But now, let’s move onto the other character involved in the rumours: Lazaro. With Lazaro, I have a different issue: I felt as though he was supposed to be a likeable character, but I ended up really disliking him. At first we see him as a bit naive, a very good friend to Gabino, extremely passionate about dancing, a dreamer more so than Gabino (he repeatedly voices his fantasies about visiting Paris and getting to dance at the Opèra); but in the end, he proves himself as being selfish and unfaithful, as he literally has sex with Mina while Gabino is in prison. Your best friend has just been arrested and your first thought is to fuck his mom? And let’s not forget that Lazaro knew that Gabino loved him, so he knew this would hurt him even more. And when Cayetana pretends to offer to him to leave for Paris with her, he agrees- again, proving how little he cares about Gabino being in prison. He has some very good moments as well, including one of my two favourite scenes in the show, but my overall opinion on him is not positive. Now let’s talk about the three characters that we were actually supposed to perceive as negative: Cayetana, Gabino’s grandma Ampara and Gabino’s dad Gregorio. Cayetana’s sole personality trait is that of being evil- there doesn’t even seem to be a motivation behind her actions, she just does it because she is an a-hole. That’s pretty much the same with Ampara, with the small exception that she justifies her actions by saying it’s all for her family (hard to say whether she actually believes her own words or not). But in the end, both characters fail at being fascinating, meaningful villains: they’re plain and unidimensional. The case is a bit different for Gregorio: he’s overall a despicable character, but further traits are added so that he is not just a plain villain- he is a bad person, and that makes a big difference. In particular, I love that they make him a conflicted character, portraying the contrast between the pain he causes Gabino and the pain he himself feels realising how much he’s hurting his son. However, in my opinion, the best, most interesting and most lovable characters in the show are Alonso and Mina. Alonso may be interpreted as a negative character himself, but he sort of redeems himself towards the end. He does some very good things (killing Gregorio to protect Gabino, Mina and Lazaro), some very bad things (kidnapping Gabino and Lazaro, hurting Lazaro’s leg, beating Gabino almost to death) and some things that weren’t exactly good but which he did with good intentions (repeatedly advising Gabino to leave Spain forever, bringing him a gun while he’s in prison and advising him to kill himself). I think the only mistake they did was making him hurt Gabino and Lazaro in such a way, because they wanted him to be a redeemable and likeable character but honestly that was almost unforgivable. But at the same time I can see that Alonso’s violence on Gabino was the result of him taking his feelings towards Gabino (probably some feelings of romantic nature and jealousy towards his supposed relationship with Lazaro) and transforming them into something that he felt to be more acceptable and more manageable, and on top of that it was the manifestation of his disgust, fear, anger, frustration for his own homosexuality. All in all, Alonso is a very complex and conflicted character, sometimes submissive and others extremely corageous, good and bad, selfless and selfish. But if perfection was almost reached with Alonso, we move even closer to the perfect character with Mina- I want to slap her and hug her at the same time, and that’s what I love. Even more than Alonso, she is an incredibly complex character. I think she’s the main character more so than Gabino- so many interesting clues about her personality and her personal history are continously thrown around and you just want to know more and more about her. From her clearly feeling inadequate and different because she’s Mexican and leaving in Spain to her love story with Lazaro (who is Mexican like her- something to note), to the contrast between her desire to help others and her fragility which often makes it impossible, Mina is a well explored, multi-dimentional, lovable and despicable character.

My favourite scenes: finally, I want to discuss two scenes that I thought to be absolutely brilliant (if the entire show had been like those two scenes I would have considered it a masterpiece). The first takes place when Gabino and Lazaro are back home after Alonso’s attack; Lazaro is mending Gabino’s wounds, when the latter stops him and tells him he’s sorry for getting him involved. Lazaro replies he’s not done anything wrong, but Gabino states: <<I love you, and that’s the problem.>> Lazaro says: <<I love you too.>> and Gabino: <<But not in the same way.>> And that’s when Lazaro says the most beautiful line in the show: <<But I love you still, and that could never be wrong.>> That line equates platonic and romantic love, stating that despite them being two different kinds of love they are still exactly the same thing: love. So just like no one would ever say Lazaro is wrong for loving Gabino platonically, at the same time Lazaro states that no one could ever say Gabino is wrong for loving him romantically, because that’s exactly the same thing: love. And love is never wrong. The second scene takes place after Mina and Lazaro have been found together in the woods close to the club and Gregorio gets Gabino out of prison to take him there with him. Gabino is alone in his father’s car, Alonso sees him and goes to sit in the car with him. Alonso tells Gabino about how terrible he feels having to lie every day about who he really is, and then asks him to describe what it is like having sex with a man. Gabino tries to resist, but after Alonso begs him he gives in and recounts the first time he had sex with a man. Alonso is profoundly moved by his story and visibly tries to contain his emotions, but he fails, as tears start streaming down his face; then, once Gabino is done talking, he grabs the gun he’d given him in prison and tries to shoot himself. Gabino is able to stop him and Alonso breaks down crying, hugging Gabino while the latter promises him that they’re always going to be there for one another. Such a touching moment.

[shitty-check-please-aus]

2020 Books Read So Far

Note: Most of these are audiobooks (listening to books counts as reading books and if you disagree I’d ask you to consider why you believe that), books I started and didn’t finish will be listed but not reviewed, and all my opinions are extremely subjective. I’m putting this on this blog because I want to and I think it’ll help me keep track of what I’ve read if I write it down in a couple places. 

Some notes:

I’m surprised that most of these are nonfiction! I don’t usually think of myself as a nonfiction reader. 

Having audiobooks has made me way more productive as a reader, since I can read while I’m doing repetitive tasks at work, when I have to stand on the bus, when I’m running, etc. 

Naked, by David Sedaris

3/5, the audiobook was “unabridged selections” which means “we didn’t edit the individual essays but you’re only getting half the book”– it would probably have been a 4/5 if it was a whole book. I liked that Amy Sedaris was reading parts of it, but that’s because I like her more than I like her brother. This is sort of an example of the difference between “comedic” and “humorous,” because it’s definitely the latter. 

Read it if: you want to read something pretty fucking weird. 

Lafayette in the Somewhat United States, by Sarah Vowell

4/5, I saw this recommended a lot when Hamilton first came out so it’s been in the back of my mind for a good while. The book had a great cast, and having different people reading the historical quotes was an excellent touch! 

However, I think Vowell’s conversational style is a little jarring here sometimes. It’s like “wait, why are you talking about Bruce Springsteen, I’m not that familiar with his work but he definitely isn’t from Revolutionary War times.” I got her book Assassination Vacation at a used bookshop recently as well, and both books suffer from post-2016 hindsight, where she’ll say something about how incompetent and foolish the politicians of her time are, and I just have to snort to myself and say “Sarah, you’re going to lose your goddamn mind soon.” That’s a bit of an unfair reaction, but it’s hard to avoid having it.

I was also, maybe unfairly, expecting to learn more than I did. The problem is that I know a Lot about the Revolutionary War, and from the introduction I thought we’d hear more about Lafayette’s later life (my knowledge drops sharply after about 1810). The book basically ends after the Battle of Yorktown, though.

Read it if: you have not seen/listened to both Hamilton and 1776, or if you want to read a summary of the Revolutionary War with a focus on one French captain. 

Assassination Vacation, by Sarah Vowell

3/5, honestly maybe a 2.5/5. Okay, so. Either I know a lot more about American History than I felt like I did or this is again a very surface level thing. Part of it is because she spends 123 pages on Abe Lincoln. There are 255 pages total. 2/3 of the states I’ve lived in are Indiana and Illinois, two states that fight about claiming Lincoln as their own, and I’ve been to D.C. 4 or 5 times, so I feel like I know enough about Lincoln. I know about John Wilkes Booth, and his brother Edwin who saved Lincoln’s son’s life, and the death train that took Lincoln’s body around the country. I did enjoy learning about the doctor who was probably conspiring with Booth and how he ended up saving tons of lives in prison when there was a yellow fever outbreak (also to be briefly unbearably nitpicky: I think she might have mixed up dengue and yellow fever? She calls yellow fever “breakbone” but I can only find instances online of people calling dengue fever that. Maybe they called them all breakbone in the late 1800s. If anyone reading this is an epidemiologist, let me know).

It was interesting to hear that Charles Guiteau, killer of President Garfield, was part of the Oneida cult. I’m trying to think of anything notable she said about Leon Czolgosz, killer of President McKinley. I guess she talks about how people assumed he was a foreigner because of his name, but I already listened to “The Ballad of Czolgosz” in Assassins, so I knew “Czolgosz, angry man, born in the middle of Michigan.”

This one is from 2005 so the politics stuff is a little more interesting, since at the time I was busy learning multiplication and spending one entire baseball season learning about baseball and following my team (they won the world series, I have excellent timing). I will say that in 2005 we did have Google, so I am again annoyed with some of her asides and personal anecdotes. Look, if you go to the Hemingway house and you don’t know there will be cats there, that’s on you if you don’t bring your Claritin. Hemingway is associated with only two good things, six-toed cats and Daiquiris. 

She also does not acknowledge that the parties basically switched platforms? Lincoln’s Republican party is not today’s Republican party, in fact kind of the opposite, so it’s weird that she starts the book with a dedication that’s like “to my lifelong Democrat grandpa, he’d be pissed I dedicated a book about 3 Republicans to him.” I guess she does sometimes say stuff like “how did Lincoln’s party become Reagan’s” (paraphrase), but she doesn’t actually get into it. 

Speaking of Democrats, she literally spends more time talking about Pablo Picasso than she spends talking about JFK. She doesn’t explain why she didn’t talk about JFK, but it seems bizarre to me to write a book about American assassinations and to leave out John Fucking Kennedy. Literally I’ve talked more about JFK in this section than she did in her assassin book. It’s not until page 253 that JFK gets a full paragraph. There are 255 pages total. Truly, if she’d taken a paragraph to be like “I’m focusing on the presidents who were elected before 1900″ or “the presidents whose immediate families aren’t still alive” or even “I didn’t want to travel to Dallas for research” or SOMETHING to explain why she left out JFK, I would have understood it more instead of flipping through the pages wondering what was going on. 

Read it if: You do not listen to too many history podcasts and you didn’t read the Wikipedia page for the musical Assassins. And I guess if you don’t want to acknowledge that JFK did also get assassinated and that was kind of a big deal. Actually just listen to Assassins instead. 

And Then There Were None, Agatha Christie

5/5 as a mystery, 0/5 for its original title (not gonna say it here but if you’ve ever googled the name of HP Lovecraft’s cat, it’s along those lines). Less than 6 hours, narrated by Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey, fairly ideal as an audiobook. I am 95% sure I’ve already read this, because I spent the summer before I started high school reading every Agatha Christie book in the library (I do not have a list of all the Agatha Christie books in my library the summer of 2010, so there is some question). 

Read if: you want to hear the guy from Downton Abbey deliver the line “I’m not a complete fool!” in a tone that makes it sound like “I’m not a fucking moron!” Sidenote: Can anyone tell me if Brits say “solder” by pronouncing the L that I’ve always heard as a silent L? Or if Dan Stevens just fucked up that one word?

Over The Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, by Jonathan Van Ness

4.5/5

This was a super enjoyable audiobook! It’s a testament to JVN’s considerable charisma that this book is full of him giving people in his past who would rather be anonymous Russian names, and it doesn’t get grating (as a Marina, however, I was shocked to not hear my name at any point; most of the other Marina’s I’ve met in my life are Russian). JVN has had a wild ride in life, and it’s a really raw, honest story of how he became who he is. I will say that if you are interested in reading this, please look up the trigger warnings; there are a lot of things that could be triggering to people. 

I feel a little bad at how much more I liked this one compared to Tan France’s memoir, but I also feel like whoever was ghostwriting that one did a bad job at making Tan seem... not extremely defensive, cocky, and prickly (it seems that JVN did not use a ghostwriter; Tan’s on the other hand, let the phrase “I’m proud to be a petty bitch” make it into the final proof several times). Also JVN advocates going to therapy in his book, while Tan kind of says that you should only go to therapy if you have no friends or family or life partner to talk to, which I fundamentally disagree with. I don’t know. I also feel like, if I were to get a makeover from the Fab 5, Jonathan would love my hair (I have great hair) while Tan would say that I’m dressing too old for a 24 year old and then take me to fucking Lane Bryant or Torrid (I wear a size 16 US so IRL options are limited). 

Read if: You like Queer Eye or Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness

Medallion Status, by John Hodgman

4.5/5

I really like John Hodgman’s podcast, and I got to ask him a question at an event he did at the Field Museum and he was very nice, so I went into this inclined to enjoy it. 

And I did! I had a good time reading it. I read it the first week of January and now it’s the second week of February so I have already erased much of the book’s content from my mind, but he somehow made the perspective of being a formerly kinda famous person really interesting. I would also recommend Vacationland, particularly if anyone wants to write an au where Nursey, as a New Yorker, has a vacation home in Dex’s town in Maine. That’s right, I brought it back around to the topic of this blog. And that would be a fucking fantastic au. 

Read it if: you like memoirs! it’s a good one. 

Murder on the Orient Express, by Agatha Christie

Gonna give this one a 3/5 for performance, because Dan Stevens (again, because I liked his narration in the other one) does a really annoying American accent for a few characters, and an extremely bad Italian accent for another. I’m starting this review only a few hours in, so if it turns out that the Italian man is not Italian, I’ll revoke my criticism. Still a 5/5 mystery, though. I did have to stop many times when they were talking about Istanbul to go over to Spotify and play “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” by They Might Be Giants. 

Books abandoned in 2020 (so far) (no real spoilers, I didn’t get more than a few chapters into any of them):

The Unhoneymooners, Christina Lauren

I got to a point where the main character was telling a lie that would put her newly accepted job into jeopardy, and it stressed me out so much as a relatively new hire that I stopped listening for the day and started another one, and then the week had passed and then the library took it back. I think I’d enjoy it more if I was reading it physically and I could control how fast I got through awkward parts (I am practically allergic to secondhand embarrassment). The performance was good and I did get a hankering for cheese curds. 

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

I had like three audiobooks checked out at the same time, and even though this was again an abridged version, I just didn’t have time for all of them. My mom has a physical copy, I’ll borrow that at some point. 

The Witch Elm, Tana French

This is one I may revisit someday. The main character is kind of an asshole, which is the point of his character I think, but it made it hard to get into the story. It’s also a 22 hour audiobook, which is kind of insanely long. Additionally, the narrator has a very slow way of talking, but if I tried to speed up the rate of playback I had trouble understanding his accent (I think I just have trouble processing really fast speech in general as well, but I would’ve had an easier time understanding someone with the same accent as me). Anyways, someone put a hold on it at the library and then I didn’t check it out again. 

[claimingtheflame]

I had meant to give each family member a post of their own, as kind of a reflection on each, but that will have to happen as I write. All of the people in this post were key figures in my childhood and this post will serve to kind of map them out, so I don't have to explain them as I go. I have already written about D and mom, I will not include them here.

I warn you. Race may be mentioned a lot here. I grew up in an extremely racially mixed environment. The distinction between peoples is a big part of my upbringing, as I grew up among just as many hispanics, asians, and african americans as I did white folk.

My father

If there is a hero to this story, it is my father. A sad hero, yes, but a hero. You will hear me describe people and their various dualities throughout these reflections. Often, one hand would give and one hand would take. Not my father. There were times he disappeared, sometimes for over a year, but none of them was his fault. He is so important to this story because he was everything to me in those times.

My mother cheated on him and moved in D when I was 3 years old. I remember most of those events, believe it or not. I have a very early memory, and I remember when he lived with us. I also remember when he left. After that, we would go visit him every other weekend. Those visits were another world entirely to me and my sister, Nevada. So much could be said, but I will just say that without my father I would be a much more damaged person. These people destroyed him. They took his soul.

Grandfather Paul (maternal grandfather)

Another important figure. Close to my father in benevolence , save for a few infuriating and perplexing acts on his part. I know him, from my earliest memories to later teen, as a powerful and intimidating figure. He was a big-deal attorney in the area, and most of my memories are of him sitting at his desk in his high-backed leather armchair, booming at me in jolly tones. He grew up in Georgia, and you can detect the trademark accent, very different from Kentucky's, only slightly when he talks. I mostly grew up as white trash in the Kentucky valley, but on occasion I would be spirited away by Grandpa into an entirely different kind of life. We would see art, opera, or theatre. He gave gifts often and was very kind. He had 7 daughters and a son, so when that family gathered it was unreal. All beautiful, fair of hair and complexion, somewhat formal and subdued compared to what I was used to. Remember the description of "the hospitality of elves" in lord of the rings? It was something like that to me. His gatherings happened a few times a year. He lived thanksgiving the most. I get much of myself from this man, from my interest in books to my interest in law and philosophy, and even my appearance to some degree. Yet, there was always a barrier. I was always a class below these people. It was empirical, throughout my childhood.

Grandmother Betty (paternal grandmother)

When my father would take us, we often visited him at my grandmother Betty's small house in Radcliff. She was a very crabby, but gentle woman. Half italian, half german, I believe she was originally from New York. She was a widow the entire time I knew her. My father technically is a bastard, and my given name is that of her deceased husband Andrew (died in Egypt just after the Vietnam War, he was taking apart a bomb). This man adopted my father despite my grandmother's infidelities with my Grandfather Carl while he was serving his tours of duty. My father was technically born in Germany due to this. All my other cousins are of mixed race, or look way more italian since Andrew and my grandmother's first husband were Italian and Puerto Rican respectively. What's more, Betty's children(my aunts Tina and Susan, Uncle Richard) also married italian and puerto ricans, so me and my sister stick out like a sore thumb among our darker cousins, with our lighter colored skin and hair, and brighter colored eyes.

My grandmother loved Radcliff, but it was a strange town. It has a large Korean and Puerto Rican population due to it being right next to the Fort Knox base. Often you would feel the thrum of artillery fire as a normal part of life due to the testing and training of tanks on base. I think 30% of the population is also black. This was a big deal growing up. A contrast to my country life on the weekdays. I got in a lot of fights, often due to my whiteness believe it or not.  Many of my cousins ended up marrying black men, and having mixed children. My grandmother hated this, she hated blacks. She went to a korean church in order to avoid them. That said, she doted on her mixed great-grandkids and gave much to them. This would prove to undo her eventually. My cousins children ended up destroying her house and bleeding her dry to the point where she lost her beloved home. This happened much later in life. They even went as far as stealing from her.

She suffers from dementia now, and no longer recognizes me. My uncle Rick married into one of the families of her Korean friends, and they care for her now, as they shared some childhood bond with her and consider her family.

Aunt Lisa and Cousin Brittany(maternal aunt)

Also heroes and crucial to my upbringing. Aunt Lisa would take us a few weekends a year, and we would visit with her and her daughter, who was only a year younger than I. She was always living in an apartment or townhome somewhere around Louisville or Greater Clark Indiana. She wasn't poor but also wasn't exactly the picture of middle class either. I remember her as a beautiful and wholesome woman. Tall with curly blonde hair, the beakish nose that betrayed my grandather's British lineage. She was silly and always laughing, and played games with us like red rover or simon says. I will never understand why she took to us like she did, but there was no doubt we were special to her. She later married a pretty cool scottish man, they live together to this day.

Cousin Brittany looked a lot like her, just as tall, even taller now, a flat out blonde amazon towering over me and all the other cousins. Brittany was raised a bit more puritan than I, but we bonded over pokemon and Harry Potter as kids, and play video games online when we can. She lives in Maine now.

Grandfather Carl(paternal grandfather)

When my father did not take us to Betty, we went to visit Carl and his wife Margie. They lived on a property in Southeastern Kentucky somewhere.

If there was ever an image of the stereotypical Kentucky man, it would be Grandpa Carl. He was wiley, salt-of-the-earth, bearded, always covered in some kind of oil, and inexplicably strong (I've seen this man lift car engines and slam my 280lb father deep enough into a wall that his assprint was visible on the opposite side). He listened only to old rockabilly music and had skills at a pool table like something from a bygone era. We saw this man a few times a year.

He has alzheimers now and lives with my father.

Grandmother Mary(maternal grandmother)

I knew very little of her. She moved to florida when I was 5. We spoke once a month on the telephone throughout my childhood. I remember she looked very native American. She had long black hair with gray streaks in it. She died in 2015 of flu and pneumonia. She was in her mid 60s.

Her heritage is an enigma. She was born a Culpeper, a very deep-south name, but her mother and grandparents are on the native american dawes rolls. She had the same kind tinge of native to her that Grandmother Betty does of Mediterranean. The thing is, in my 23andme I do show a spot of mediterranean blood, but no native American blood shows up on the dna test.

Her father, she says, was a freemason. This is odd because when she died she left me three things, two of which I still puzzle over. She left his freemason garb to me when she died, along with her record collection and an old pair of opera specs. I only received the record collection and specs, which I treasure. Tons of CCR and other rock records. Rifling through it made me feel closer to her. The Freemason memorabilia is with my aunt Kimberly, I believe. Which brings me to...

Aunt Kimberly(maternal aunt)

I list my Aunt Kim because she becomes important in some aspects and she was indeed a role model me. Also you will see that she and her husband gifted me with my first guitar and synthesizer when I was a teenager. This when I started writing music, so I owe this whole musical venture to them.

This is the definition of a rare and strong-willed woman that likely belonged to the career she devoted herself to. She has become in reputation and stature as powerful as my grandfather, as she worked in his firm from the time she graduated law school. The only one to follow in his footsteps fully. She married at 16 and is still married to this day to the same man. All of my life she has always had short hair cut just above the ears, blond like the rest of my grandfather's children, with a much more dry sense of humor like his own. She does not speak to me much now because she has a feud with my mother. The whole family kind of broke apart a few years ago.

Cousins Kristin, Maria, Samantha, Rosita, and Sasha(paternal cousins)

These are the cousins I primarily grew up with and saw on a regular basis. I saw Brittany only a few times a year but I saw these cousins at least once a month, excluding the times where my mother and stepfather prevented me from seeing my paternal side of the family altogether. We will get into that.

Those are all the family members I will list right now. Maybe I will list separately my cousins, of which I have many and various complex relationships with. My cousin Maria was murdered in 2017 so that may come up as well.

Notice all the names on this list. These are people that I love very much. These are people who no doubt loved me and cared about me throughout my childhood. Every person on this list Sans the younger cousins knew what my stepfather was doing. They had some Inkling. Me and my sister complained at least once in private to each. Only one of these people actually did something to try and stop it. That is the man at the top of the list. That is my father. For all the love I bear these people I will never understand what did not move them about our situation. It's one of the things that this blog is meant for. Understanding those who turn a blind eye. Not evil people at all. To address abuse it takes tremendous strength. My father's tragic anguish over our abuse and his dogged attempts to get my stepfather arrested we're all in vain. They were blocked by some of the members of this list. Maybe they were well-meaning but I will never understand why. I always put it down to Ego or misunderstanding. I will tell one of these stories next and you will see what I mean.

I will try to tell the story chronologically from this point. Thank you anybody who reads this blog. I know I give some of you the link secretly and I hope that you keep what I say here from the rest of my family. I will probably be saying things that will hurt their feelings. To them perhaps I will be saying things out of context. I'm only providing my own point of view. It may seem unflattering at times to them. This isn't about them though. I'm laying these experiences out for the sole purpose of understanding them and nothing more. If anybody on this blog where to be brought to Justice I think we would all agree it would be my stepfather. Yet this whole time I've made no secret that he still walks free, and I doubt anything will ever come of it.

[momijis-sunglasses]

so in my post-first-two-episodes-of-furuba glow, I went home and watched the first episode of the 2001 anime again.

hoo boy.

it was FASCINATING.

it’s definitely become a little more common for the same story to receive multiple adaptations. but here we have two first episodes that cover the exact same chapter in the manga, end on the same story hook, and even have plenty of similar shots. but the overall impression and tone is incredibly different between the two. and it’s so revealing for why i’m optimistic about the new anime and have big issues with the 2001 adaptation.  

SPOILERS

-the 2019 anime has the huge benefit of knowing the entire story. starting out with a flashback to the bond first being created between god and the animals is a great idea. it gets a hint of the supernatural in there early for new viewers, and it’s giving you a visual metaphor (the ropes aka literal bonds) of one of the key themes of the series. the new anime is being made with the awareness of the rest of the series, and that’ll improve things so much. they’re already really teasing the hat, and even kyo’s beads. it’s nothing too overt, just little nudges at the viewer that serve as a fun thing for existing fans and ways to tease the mystery for new fans.

-the scene where Tohru first finds the house and meets Shigure have very, very similar scripts between both versions. and I wish I had the new version in front of me right now because I can’t provide specific examples of why this is -- but I was left with a much more natural impression from the new version. the directing is just better. I think the 2001 anime has the problem of being too abrupt constantly. it’s like nothing’s given room to breathe. in the new anime, there’s a really nice transition into a flashback (lots of flashbacks in this episode haha) using the wind chime at Shigure’s to one at Tohru and Kyoko’s apartment. and actually going into the apartment gives the whole flashback a better sense of place. this is also where it starts being really apparent how much more static the old anime is. i do think they generally did the best with what they had, but there are more pans over still frames and the characters expressions are usually flat. the new anime is 1000% more dynamic.

-which also contributes to the comedy! there’s the same funny “what do you have in there, a dictionary?”/”two dictionaries” gag in both, but it lands better in the new anime. it’s more background chatter than anything, actually, so it feels more like incidental funny dialogue. like these people just banter and bug each other on the reg. the 2001 anime makes everything more slapstick and over the top, and 2019 tones it back to something more naturalistic. which i’m happy about, because when i think fruits basket, i think dry humor more than anything.

-also! eric vale! i’ve never blamed him for this, but his performance is sooooo much better in the new anime. he was definitely a newer voice actor (like a lot of the cast) when the 2001 anime came out, but I blame a lot of the issues I had with his performance before on the voice directing. there are so many times in the old episode where Yuki sounds straight up creepy. i don’t know if they were going for mysterious, but they didn’t get there that’s for sure. he’s more regular and a bit suave in the new one, which makes sense for this part of the story. yuki’s just like.. a huge improvement between these two versions. I always felt like the director of the 2001 anime didn’t get Yuki at all. like he thought he was actually a prince and also just wanted to make a cool character so girls would swoon and buy merch or w/e. I just want Yuki to get his due as a character, dammit!

-if you haven’t watched the original in a while and have hulu or netflix, fire that shit up because the transition to school is sooooo bad. first the prince yuki fanclub and their weird chant thing... and then uo and hana’s introduction is also super abrupt and we’re just firing through these scenes real fast. the new one has the same events happen, but again, it’s more natural. no weird chant! the prince yuki club has just cornered tohru in a hallway and are berating her. a boy even walks past and is like, “yikes, bullying.” because it totally is! the timing on uo and hana to the rescue is a lot better. and i think because of that, it allows the comedy more time to develop so that’s it’s actually funny and not just confusing. also all three of them feel more like comfortable friends. like we’re witnessing their usual dynamic. since the 2001 director was always going for comedy, it almost feels more like an interrogation in the old version.

-THIS! CHANGE! IS SO IMPORTANT! so the 2001 anime races through tohru telling us why she’s living in a tent. lightspeed. we have time for the prince yuki fan club chant, but we can’t spend too much time establishing the drama of the situation. in the 2001 anime, we transition to a literal slideshow basically recreating panels from the manga while tohru monologues over it about how her mom died in an accident but she wound up with her grandpa and he asks her to go live with a friend for a while. we all know the story. the new anime, on the other hand, transitions to an actual flashback, not a still image, of tohru as a kid balancing a checkbook while she explains how her dad passed away and her mom had a tough time all by herself. it’s really sad! and it’s so much more effective to show her as an actual kid worrying about money stuff and making dinner. they also showed a heap of blood instead of a car hitting a wall to represent kyoko’s death, which... woof. and then we get an actual scene of her grandpa asking her if she can stay with a friend. which, again, gives us more time to actually feel the situation she’s in. but also works so well because he phrases it as an option for her. he says he’s worried she won’t be comfortable stuffed into a small house with a ton of people so she might be happier staying elsewhere for a while. and then tohru, OF COURSE, takes that consideration and goes to live in a tent. the transition (which is different between the two) to tohru cleaning up a storm at her job was also a moment of genuine, sweet comedy.

-yuki talking to tohru on the way home is kind of interesting, since the two adaptations treat it in kind of opposite ways? in the 2001 anime there’s that ~mysterious~ music while he tells her random zodiac facts and then silent tension (which I actually quite like) when he gives her that enigmatic “it’s not that i don’t like all cats” look. in the new one it’s a more normal conversation? like they’re just chatting. and then it turns when she realizes there’s something more to it and the music got pretty intense and there’s A Moment. i think it’s less outright sinister in the new one. seriously, i’m waiting for 2001 yuki to start monologuing about his master plan to take over the earth any time.

-shigure laughing at tohru’s tent is straight up funnier in the new one. the timing is better. also his continued laughter and yuki’s little “oh you’re done now?” was really well handled. that joke falls flat in the old version.

-and i don’t know how they do it because, again, these episodes have the same runtime and cover the same material, but this whole scene definitely feels like it takes it’s more time in the new anime. it’s not overstaying it’s welcome or anything. it’s punchy and funny and i loved seeing the characters play off each other. but even shigure opening the door to reveal the gross kitchen is given more of a beat to it, so you have a second to laugh. and him hearing the dog howling isn’t the most awkward thing you’ve seen anymore.

-since we’ve had more time to understand tohru’s situation and even her mom (kyoko is finally allowed to be herself and not Cliche Dead Mom!) through flashbacks in the new anime, tohru clawing at the dirt to get the picture of her mom is actually pretty heart-wrenching. you get it more. everything she has in the world is in that tent and she doesn’t have anything but pictures to remember her mom by. this is what i’m so excited about in the new anime. if you give more time to build motivations and drama, because you understand that’s important to storytelling, then the emotional parts will hit that much harder

-tohru telling shigure about the day her mom died! I've always loved this scene, because it's one of the few times Tohru actually opens up to someone (who's not Kyo :P)about feeling crappy. amazing what a fever can do. these two scenes are so interesting, because they're actually really similar. we get the exact same info, and some of the shots of tohru lying on the futon are basically identical. but once again, the 2001 anime does a lot more telling us what happened. some shots are obvious budget-saving measures, like an extended shot of the paper wall/door with tree shadows waving. (what room are they supposed to be in?? for some reason, I always thought that was the kitchen) (actually the reason was all the rats are behind that door) (you KNOW there are rats in that kitchen) the 2019 anime, on the other hand, goes back to those old reliable flashbacks. we get a repeated (and longer) shot of kyoko going out the door, and you realize as the scene goes on and tohru explains she didn't even wake up to see her leave that morning, that it's an imagined scene or a memory of another day. which is... oof. make me feel all those feelings, please. we also get more actual kyoko dialogue, which is always a good thing.

-I also love yuki showing up after she's fallen asleep, having overheard anything, and saying he could've left the sohma compound to live in a tent. uh, I mean, I love it in the manga and the new anime. I won't put this on the original production staff and more on the original English dub, but oh boy is yuki kind of petulant and whiny in that scene. he sounds very petty and jealous and I don't like it. he's definitely envious of her to a degree (and beating up on himself), but he's also pretty in awe I think. ANYWAY I felt the new dub fixed this, so I wasn't like, what's your problem, dude?

-yuki and the rats is still weird lol (honestly being able to "communicate" with their animal is dropped so damn fast in the manga. I only like it for the payoff of the birds running away from kureno.)

-actually, one of the only things I prefer in the 2001 anime is tohru waking up to her mom's photo right next to the futon. I love the idea of yuki setting it up there real quietly while she sleeps, knowing it's the thing she was most worried about. so cute! but one point for the new dub: i'm assuming tohru says "oka-san" when she wakes up. since it's three syllables and zoomed in on her mouth they've changed(?) it to "I miss you" in English and just stab me right through the heart why don't you!!

-it seems like everyone's saying this, but that staircase scene! it's not even really a scene. but I love it! a cramped little switchback-y staircase. this show is making me feel like i'm IN shigure's house. it's also shot cool, and the reveal of kyo in the tree is great. I love that it's not pointed out so obviously, and he's just there. (it'd be hard to miss him though)

-then of course we end on kyo jumping through the whole damn roof (he really blasts through it in 2019 haha) and everyone turning into animals. no huge differences, but I want to fast forward a little to talk about kyo. jerry jewell may be the member of the returning cast who sounds the most "similar" to his old rendition of the character, HOWEVER. there's a huge change in acting and vocal direction. it might seem like a small change, but it's not! it's really big! in the 2001 anime he jumps through that roof and says a punny line (it would take kyo 6 months to come up with that lbr) and rah-rah rages through the next few episodes when he's not acting sheepish. now he sounds much less like he's just angry and more like he BLURTS things. a thought comes into his head and BLURT it's out of his mouth. because of the increased range in emotional expression on all their faces, we can see that he seriously feels guilty and conflicted about being mean to tohru. like there is some depth there to be mined. it's so much more obvious that the people around him can easily push him to the point of blowing up, and that he doesn't feel in control of himself. I give major props to the animation team, the anime director, and the dub director (I would trust Caitlin Glass with my actual life at this point) for pulling this off. because it seems subtle! but it really is a big difference!

I used to be a pretty staunch believer that we DID NOT need another anime adaptation of fruits basket. I know a lot of people wanted it, but I really never did. I love the manga so much, and think it's masterfully done. after the original anime, I didn't want more of it. mostly, because I didn't trust anyone to do it right. a lot of the changes made by the original anime may seem "small" to many people, but what makes furuba so great to me IS all those tiny nuances. change a tiny detail, and you may have changed the whole feel of a scene or an important interaction. the manga is pretty quiet, for most of it's run. little moments build up to create a big, beautiful tapestry. so I was happy reading my manga over again and not worrying about anyone else ever touching it to bring it to moving color.

so i'd say I was likely to be a harsh judge. and I was really, REALLY impressed with what they accomplished. i'm sure there'll be some decision I disagree with later. they'll cut some scene I love or i'll disagree with the emphasis on something somewhere. but they've really built up a lot of goodwill with me. I LOVED watching these characters on screen and seeing them interact. seeing them all eat around the table together felt like coming home. like settling down for another furuba reread.

and it's all the stuff above that made me feel that way. seemingly little tiny details and differences. again, we're talking about the exact same story! it's told with almost the same lines and the same characters and many of the same jokes. but it really felt different, because of small changes. and a much better understanding of what furuba is.

[angelkurenai]

We’ll see that, sweetheart - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: We’ll see that, sweetheart

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Imagine: Imagine Dean and you being hunting partners and in love with each other for year, but are too scared to admit it. You are close and have a strong bond, being intimate in different ways every time. When he sees you interact with Jack and take care of him he remembers how he’s always wanted to have kids with you and finally gets the courage to bring it up to you.

A/N: In a close to perfect Supernatural universe this is how I’d like to see Dean open up to Jack, just to get over a lil bit of the pain in the previous episode! But I love both so much that the writers are only making it harder for me now!

“And that is how you can also raise the volume if you want to hear more clear, but careful with that around here cause Dean's always a grumpy old man with these stuff.” you said playfully and Jack grinned slightly, just as Dean looked at you and scoffed.

“I'm not old.” hemuttered and you hummed.

“Sure, whatever you say grandpa!” you winked but he just shook his head, a small smile creeping on his lips “And- no, Jack he's not my granpa. It's just a thing, I call him stupid nicknames sometimes. That's all.” you said, noticing how the nephilim was ready to ask.

“Oh” he nodded his head “Alright, and if I want to watch... cartoons, I press on number one and then three. For... thirteen, right?”

“Exactly! And there're plenty of Scooby Doo there for you too!” you giggled, patting his back as he broke into an adorable grin.

“I really like that one, it's wonderful!” he breathed out, his eyes sparkling.

“It sure is, Jack.” you chuckled “But remember, whenever there isn't something good on TV and you really want to do something you can opt for a book!”

“Yeah if you wanna be a nerd in life sure.” Dean mumbled and you shot him a look.

“There are plenty of good ones around here, and I have a lot I think you'd like.” you said softly to Jack “Just until you find what you really like and what not we keep exploring, alright?”

“Then I think we should name you Dora.” Dean muttered with a snicker and you couldn't fight the grin that spread on your lips, as Jack merely tilted his head to the side and frown.

“Do- Dora? What is that?” he mumbled and you still couldn't fight the laughter that left your lips.

“Dean!” you exclaimed, throwing a pillow at him as he dodged it “How the hell do you even know about that?!” you shook your head.

“And she's-” you turned to Jack who waited patiently, legs crossed and eager to hear and learn more “You'll figure that out yourself. It's all cartoons, but she is probably the most annoying one. Anyway, I still have to say, and Sam will agree, if you ever feel like getting a little bored books are really gonna help.”

“Just don't ask for bedtime stories, cause we only have nightmare fuel in here.” Dean mumbled and you rolled your eyes.

“Are you done yet? And what kind of book are you even looking for, Jack and I are busy here!” you looked at him over your shoulder.

“Can clearly see that, what the heck are you doing anyway? I told you I still haven't found it, you keep tons of them in here.” he mumbled, still looking through your books. Although the truth was different. It was one he couldn't admit but knew all-too-well as he stole glances at you and Jack interacting. An involuntary smile formed on his lip, without even him realizing it, as he watched you speak to Jack and instruct him, teach him things, and smile when you answered his questions. It was contagious, that's the only way Dean could describe it, and so he couldn't fight the small skip of his heartbeat. You were acting so motherly around Jack, he had noticed almost looked like a little kid to him, young and innocent and in need of a mother to tell him what's wrong and what's right. Almost.

He had see the way you tucked a blanket over Jack when he fell asleep on the couch on the backseat of the Impala or even on his chair as he read a book. He had seen the way you lectured him to drink his juice fast or not forget milk in the morning when he had breakfast. He had seen how different your smile was when you offered him something to eat, almost as if you handling a little kid, pointing out that he had to eat healthy foods in order to grow up fast and be strong. He remembered how you reminded Jack to wear a jacket when he went out to not catch a cold or something... if it was ever possible that is. He heard Jack talk to you about the things he remembered from his mother, Kelly, and in return you told him everything you knew about her as well. He watched as you gently wiped away the tear that had rolled down his cheek and told him that it was all going to be ok, like a mother would when it's little kid had fallen down and hurt themselves.

He heard you the night he caught Jack stabbing himself, too. He had heard the pain in your voice and it actually hurt him to no end.

“I need you to-” a sob stopped you for a second “I need you to talk to me about this, Jack. About everything that you're thinking and is troubling or hurting you. I just can't- I don't want you to take it out on yourself.”

“Dean said that-” his voice was low as he spoke, his head bowed as if he was almost being scolded at.

“I know what Dean said.” you cut him off gently, taking hold of his hand and making him look at you “But he's wrong, Jack. You are not going to turn evil, you- you are worth it, Jack. You can be saved, I know that.”

“Dean doesn't.” he whispered “And if he's right-”

“If, Jack. But there are so many ifs here, we can change that. We can do something, and don't you ever doubt I am going to!” you squeezed his hand “Even when you can't fight about yourself, I am going to. I know Sam will, and if Cas was here he would do too.”

“I will hurt someone. I have the means to.” he whispered as you took in a shaky breath.

“That's the worst about humanity in general, Jack. We all do. But you- you also got the means to undo it, to make it better and to save lives. To do some real good in this place and that's what Castiel believed as well. That's what I believe.” you gave him a small smile.

“And that's what I want you to believe as well, Jack. Not- Not blame yourself for everything bad that's going on.” you whispered in addition “And if you can't find a reason to, then... do it for me, if I mean even the least bit to you?”

“You do.” he breathed out, eyes big and filled with honesty “You really do.” he emphasized and you smiled, even if another tear rolled.

“Good, then do it for me. I'll be here for you, for anything you need and we'll learn how to control this together. I just- I just beg you, don't do something like this to yourself again. Please, for my sake.” a small whimper left your lips as you looked at Jack with glossy eyes.

“I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.” he whispered, eyes filled with guilt almost in a way a kid would be in front of his parent sad they had disappointed them.

“Don't be, I'm not mad Jack. Just sad, that's all.” you whispered “But as long as you promise me to be strong and talk to me, I am going to be fine.”

“I will, yes.” he nodded his head and you smiled at him before wrapping your arms around him, placing a hand on the back of his head as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“I'm just trying to teach Jack about everything I know. We started with electric devices, and more specifically TV, we'll continue with cars, computer and phones. Then we'll see.” you explained, bringing him back from his daydream, before turning to Jack “Alright, I think that's all the info I can give you about TV, Jack. If you have any questions while handling it you can always ask me, ok?”

“Alright.” he nodded his head with a sweet smile, and you gave him a small pat on the back.

“Good, now I'm gonna make some food for all of us to-”

“Oh I want to come!” Jack's head pop up in your direction, an eager smile on his face and a giggle actually left your lips, making Dean stare at you for a second without you noticing it. It felt like it's been so damn long since he last heard you laugh and he finally felt that warmth inside his chest again.

“Sure thing, Jack.” you nodded your head with a grin “I could use some help, and while it's cooking we could start on talking about cars too so that we don't miss any time hm?”

“Yes, I would very much like that!” he nodded his head, as he slowly got up.

“Hey sport, do me a favor and just be careful to not blow any things in there, I'm not in the mood to go looking for a new oven.”

“I will be careful, I promise.” Jack said “Could you do me a favor too?” he asked with a small tilt of his head and you raised an eyebrow as Dean looked from you to Jack with a frown.

“What?”

“(Y/n) has told me you know a lot about cars, can you teach me something about them if... you have the time to?” he asked hopefully, and a small smile found its way on your lips. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you looked from Jack to Dean to see he was blinking, trying to comprehend what he was being asked to do and even more so from whom. Jack knew the older Winchester wasn't fond of him, like at all, yet he was trying to approach him.

Dean glanced at you, holding your gaze for a second before he cleared his throat and looked down. Your smile fluttered and you could almost already hear his answer, your heart dropped at the thought of what Jack's expression would be.

But Dean really took you by surprise “Sure” he shrugged as if it was nothing, eyes focused back on the books in front of him “I'll be in the garage in an hour if you wanna come.” he muttered, seemingly more interested in the task at hand but you could see right through him.

“Well, that's something new.” you mumbled, looking at Jack who seemed much happier.

~*~

“You really like isolating yourself from the rest of the world, don't ya Winchester?” you grin, leaning against the doorframe as he looks up from his book.

“Maybe it's cause I find it impossible to focus on anything else when you're around?” he suggested, softly raising an eyebrow and you only chuckled, shaking your head.

“Doubt it, but thanks for the try Dean.” you walked towards him, sitting just a few inches away from him on the floor and resting your back against the bed as well. Dean merely shrugged, not wanting t say a word because he couldn't let you know how true it actually was for him.

“Can we talk about something?” you asked softly and he looked at you.

“We are.” he said matter-of-factly and the only thing you could do was chuckle, hitting his shoulder and a small involuntary smile found its way on his lips again.

“What about?” he asked, putting the book away.

“That” you whispered, rested your head against the bed “You're smiling.”

“'S that a bad thing?” he asked playfully and you hurried to shake your head.

“No, no of course not.” you breathed out “It's just- Jack asked you to teach him about cars and you... actually did. Simple as that, without overthinking it, snapping at him, being a douche or mentioning for a second who he is. It's like he was just a kid for you all of a sudden and I- I wanted to ask why?” you bit your lip, shrugging softly “I- I mean if you want to tell me.”

“It's-” he paused, staring at the wall in front of him, chewing on his lower lip “Isn't it how you've been treating him all this time? As if he's just a kid. I thought... I should just give it a try.” he shrugged, ot meeting your eyes before he laughed softly “Besides, he's got good taste in cars, that much I'll give him. Hopefully, if he doesn't go for the second Apocalypse, following in his father's footstep-”

“He won't.” you cut him off in a soft voice, and he looked at you “I know he won't, Dean. He's good. Jack is... he's just a kid that deep down wants a family, someone to teach him what's right and wrong.” you smiled full of hope and Dean tiltedhis head to the side as he looked at you, his features softening.

Dean's eyes roamed your face and he slowly brought a hand up to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear “How do you do that?”

“Do what?” you whispered, feeling your heart beat faster the more he ran his fingers over your cheekbones and every line of your face.

“Be so amazing. So full of hope and faith. How do you just... stay in this life, so full of death and pain, and still have such a bright smile? You never... never let go of that, you just stick around and give me and Sam all the hope we need to keep going just another day.” he whispered, cupping your cheek in the end.

“I just...” you smiled softly, even if you felt your cheeks heat up dangerously so “I have a strong motivation.” you whispered, your eyes fluttering shut as you nuzzled your face in his palm.

“You're really good with him, that's what made me say yes.” he finally confessed and your eyebrows shot up as you blinked “I saw you, all these days. How you interacted with him, how you took care of him and how you just gave him only our love... the way a mother would.”

“A mother?” you laughed softly “How would you know that?”

“I saw you, I really saw you (Y/n). I took everything in. And I just think that-” he hesitated, looking down at his hands with a perplexed expression “You'd be a freaking amazing mom one day.”

“I-” you paused, unable to fight the butterflies in your stomach so you only chose to look down at yours hands. You had been in love with the man for so long, and you always knew there was a special connection there too because there had always been some intimate moments. You didn't know if he felt the same, but hearing him say that you'd be an amazing mother brought back memories of how you wanted him to be the father of your children if that day ever came.

“I don't really know if I'd be that good to be honest.” you mumbled, playing with your fingers.

Dean hesitated for a moment, not saying a word until he actually took hold of your hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing your wrist and knuckles all the while his eyes bore into yours “It's because you didn't see what I did.” he whispered and you felt your heart skip another beat.

“You're just-” you laughed softly, shaking your head “I was just helping Jack with everything, I can't be that good of a mother.”

“Are you kidding me?” he breathed out, staring at you in disbelief “You didn't see how insanely cute you were when trying to get Jack to eat all of his food and not play around. Or how beautiful you had been when laughing and smiling cause of the kid.”

“Yeah right.” you shook your head “This life isn't... meant for a family and kids Dean, we both know it.” you whispered sadly, eyes casting down for a moment.

“Is that your way of trying to convince yourself you don't want any?” he asked with a soft chuckle and your eyes raised to meet his again “Cause if you ask me, you're not doing a really good job at it.”

“It's kinda hard you know.” your voice had dropped even more “Staring at the person that you know you will love for the rest of your life and trying not to let it show that you have been imaging to have a family with them for so long.”

“So you do want kids?” he said softly, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Winchester” you laughed “You're so smooth sometimes.”

“Smooth is my middle name.” he winked.

You let a soft sigh, inching closer to him and rested your head on his shoulder “I've thought about it, yes.” you confessedand he smiled slightly, resting his cheek on top of your head “I've thought about it many times but then I think about... him, and it's just not who he is. What he does. Family isn't... really his thing, he's a hunter, Dean, he can't just have a kid to think of as well. There is just too much going on.”

“Well, he's a very lucky and very stupid guy then.” his voice came muffled as he buried his face in your hair.

“Very stupid indeed.” you whispered, snuggling more in his chest “And what about you?”

“What about me?” he asked and you tilted your head to look up at him.

“Ever thought of... kids?”

“Having children for some time wasn't really a big thing for me. But then again, things happen that change your life for good and it just... blows me away to think about it.” he let out a low laugh “Just when I thought I know myself, there comes this girl and she... swips me right off my feet.” he whispered, pressing his lips on your temple in a lingering kiss “Makes me dream of a life I know I'm not worthy of, but I wish for more than anything. Children there too, yeah. Hell even a freaking dog. She'll definitely get me to do anything she wants, even take a dog for the kids to play with. She won't stop talking about it for sure.”

You chuckled “Of course she will, I know I wouldn't.”

“No, you won't.” he whispered, staring into your eyes only for a moment because you looked away bashfully.

“Do you want to know what I look forward to the most? What I wish to experience more than anything if I have the chance to become a father?”

“No, what?” you whispered, looking up at him with sparkling eyes.

“The pregnancy.” he breathed out, and your eyebrows raised softly as you smiled at him in awe “Seeing her-” he chuckled “Seeing her pregnant with my child, seeing it grow inside of her.” he breathed out before his eyes trailed down and you followed his gaze.

“Seeing-” he bit his lip, as he reluctantly brought a hand up and placed it over your belly “Her perfect belly just get bigger, and more and more round while our baby grows inside of her. And she'll complain so much about- about sore feet, and back aches, and nausea and morning sickness and say how it's all my fault but she'll-”

“She'll love it more than anything.” you completed his sentence with a smile of yours and he nodded his head with a soft chuckle “I know I would.” you whispered and he leaned down to kiss your cheek, his lips lingering there for longer than appropriate. You moved your hand so that your fingers were almost laced with his, playing over your stomach and rubbing soothing circles as if it was already happening.

“She'll love to feel her kid kicking and moving, and I'll have to sing to it to calm it down. It will love daddy's voice. And the more it grows, the more energetic it will get. My little Winchester, hell-” he laughed, actually laughed, and continued “Winchesters!” he exclaimed, actually loving the idea of it being twins and you too giggled.

“No, Dean no!” you squealed, shaking your head.

“What?” he grinned, looking at you.

“I'm not having twins, Dean.” you said with a laugh and a small shake of your head, looking up at him to be met with a breath-taking smile, before he whispered four words with total adoration and love written all over his face.

“We'll see that, sweetheart.”

[garmmy]

appmon afterthoughts

appmon is finally over! it’s been a great journey. ;v; i drop shows easily when watching them week by week so i prefer binge-watching them at once, so appmon is the first show of this length that i managed to watch as it aired all the way through! (i dropped off somewhere in neovamdemon’s arc when trying to keep up with xros wars, haha. i did go back and finish it after that though!)

my personal preference of seasons: frontier > adventure > *appmon* > savers > 02 > hunters > tamers > tri > xros wars (as usual i still love all the seasons!! this is just if i had to rank them. i won’t deny that the 7 death generals arc was a bit of a drag for me though..)

here are my (LONG and incoherent) thoughts after watching the series, spoilers under the cut.

characters: - gosh i love the main cast so much!! ;v; i’m also glad that the appmon get a fair amount of characterisation and focus too (though still not as much as their human buddies), i feel there are times when digimon gives focus to the humans but in turn sacrifice some of the focus that their monster partners get. - i live for character interactions, so while i’m glad that haru/eri/astra interact with each other a lot, it’s a bit disappointing to see how little interaction rei and yuujin get with eri and astra. :( and hackmon never really interacts with the others much, or at all..i like hackmon, but it’d be nice to see him talk to someone other than rei for once. - i love the character growth in this season so much ;; possibly just behind frontier. eri and astra’s growth wasn’t as overt possibly due to how they express their personalities, but they throw a lot of it about the ‘filler’ eps and it all comes together really nicely. haru gets visibly stronger and more confident throughout the show, and rei’s change in reaction to his applidrive’s “are you alone?” question alone says so much. - on that note, i LOVE how they handled yuujin’s question (would you give your life up for a friend). in the end, it’s not those flashy scenes where you take a fatal hit for someone, but yuujin giving his life up not just to save humanity, but more importantly to save haru from having to shoulder the heavy burden of actually making the choice to kill yuujin. i thought that was a really powerful scene and it really got to me. - (shipping) haru and rei...i don’t care if it’s romantic or platonic or whatever i just love seeing them interact so, so much. people who know i like other pairs like seliph/ares, aichi/kai, etc...it’s the same pattern, nice pure boy gets the brooding edgy jerk to open up. i am a predictable person lol

story: - there are a lot of fillers. (but what is a digimon season without fillers?) i like fillers myself (probably why i like hunters when many people hate it), but i read the wtw comment threads every week and you get tons of complaints every time it hits a filler ep, and i can somewhat understand their frustration. appmon can be a drag to watch if you’re the kind who hates fillers. (i don’t deny a few fillers like the maripero ep did bore me though) - appmon does handle the main plot progression better than hunters though, despite the still whack pacing, and the fillers still tend to have nice character bits/growth. i love hunters but i won’t defend its absolute disregard for plot then trying to cram everything in at the last minute haha. still there are a number of unanswered questions..while i do agree that not all questions necessarily need answering, they can still provide deeper insight to characters. - personally, i liked how they kept the lightheartedness of the story while touching on salient AI-related issues. but while they bring up some very interesting issues, i don’t feel like they addressed them satisfactorily (at least from my pov)? leviathan’s aim with the humanity applification plan was to eradicate problems like conflict, disease, and human error from humanity, which is in a way even backed up by haru’s grandpa, who mentions “being data is great! without a physical body, one has no need to worry about injuries or sickness”, coming from someone who died in part because of sickness. you can see where the protags are coming from, but they never really address these ‘benefits’ of the humanity applification plan and how the benefits of not going through with the plan would outweigh the benefits of going through. - app-fusion might work well as a game mechanic, but i think it only serves to detract from the story in the anime, at least the way it is right now. for two series whose evolution is centred around fusion, xros wars handles fusion much better, utilising more creativity in both using and fusing the ‘fodder digimon’. appmon just tends to forget its fodder appmon exist. i personally think that appmon would be better off if its app-fusions were treated as simple evolutions instead (that’s pretty much how they treat the buddy appmon anyway; globemon is pretty much treated as ‘evolved gatchmon’, rather than an actual fusion of dogatchmon and timemon), that way you don’t get the nagging feeling that the fusion fodder appmon are just..fodder. - speaking of app-fusion, i have to say i personally prefer the more emotion-driven evolutions from the earlier seasons, rather than the evolutions achieved by getting the correct chip as we see in appmon. it makes sense from a gameplay perspective, but in context of the anime it feels..less impactful, i guess? i just always love seeing the bonds between the humans and their partners get tested, and become even stronger. - on an unrelated note, i find it funny that the show has a subplot involving two computer genius brothers and the cicada 3301 thing, mainly because i have a FDD story centered around the same idea (that i don’t make progress on at all. it probably looks like an appmon ripoff now but i don’t care haha)

designs: - i love the standard grade main appmon designs, they’re all so cute ;w; they have this distinct style in mind and i think they pulled it off well. (i’ve warmed up to musimon’s design A LOT from when he was first revealed, but i do still think it could be slightly less cluttered) - the ultimate grades are PERFECT, they’re some of my favourite digimon designs and possibly one of my favourite ‘group’ of designs out of protagonist digimon!! (possibly only bested by the frontier beast spirits and maybe the savers ultimates/tamers adults? haha) i just...yes. they’re amazing. i love them so so SO much - i’m not a fan of the direction they took with the god grades (maybe because i love the ultimate grades too much lol). all the gold didn’t sit too well with me either, maybe because we already had so much gold in xros wars? i do think they make great ‘final forms’ for the protagonist mons, but personally i still greatly prefer all their other forms to their god forms. i’m a bit more partial to hadesmon than the others because i LOVE jesmon, but hm...hadesmon still looks a lot more gaudy..like jesmon’s gaudy little brother. hahaha - i think the level system is a nice simplification from digimon. hopefully this means we can see appmon in future digimon games..they would be easier to implement than xw digimon anyway, haha;;

animation: - like many others i was skeptical about the making of higher-grade appmon 3DCG at first, though it eventually grew on me. the fights between 3DCG appmon were nicely done, but seeing the difference in animation between the 2D characters and 3DCG appmon was jarring, especially in shots where they’re together, mostly because of the framerate..the 3DCG appmon are animated on 1s? while the humans are animated on 3s like normal anime, it’s a big difference. thankfully most 3DCG fights don’t bring in the humans much. - the models/3D animation are still pretty well done! and i appreciate that they didn’t render them cel-shaded like what most anime do with 3D models (i remember translating the appmon interview mentioning why they did this, before appmon started airing; i was skeptical but now i can see what they were going for and i think it turned out well!) - after watching appmon i think 3DCG is a nice move for toei though, because we all know toei’s animation quality...could be better? hahaha. but i find toei’s weakness isn’t so much layout/choreography, but more of sometimes poorly-drawn frames, bad timing, or too little inbetweens, some of which are solved with 3DCG. you can especially see the contrast with digimon tri’s fight scenes; highly detailed digimon like jesmon for example would’ve benefited greatly from 3DCG, i know how painful it is to translate all of its details to 2D animation but as you can see it results in quite a number of not-as-nicely drawn frames. - special mention to charismon because i really like how he was modeled/rigged. those eyes!! can you imagine duskmon in 3D doing that and with those creepy sound effects too. - i’m not a huge fan of the palettes used in the AR-fields..(i didn’t like how the digiquartz was depicted that much either, and their depictions are quite similar so yeah) i can definitely see the effect they’re going for, but it felt more ‘kiddy alien-ish’ than ‘digital’ to me.

music: - i found the music quite ok (i liked DiVE!! and BE MY LIGHT though!), but i guess it didn’t match up to my personal tastes as much :x sadly appmon might be the lowest of the digimon seasons when it comes to music for me, i liked that endings are back! but the songs themselves didn’t captivate me as much as the previous seasons’ ending songs did. - on that note i’m glad they put in an insert song though! i guess i’m just really big on insert songs in digimon because as a kid i printed out the lyrics to brave heart and the other evo songs and loved singing along when they played in the show. lol - i remember complaining about this when the first episode aired, and my opinion still hasn’t changed 52 eps in. i CANNOT stand the applidrive voice at all hahaha (and the speed-up effect they use when app-linking/fusing) - the character songs are cute!! i’m personally really glad they decided to make them :) - the background music was pretty nice and had some memorable tracks..i’m not quite sure how i’d compare it to the rest? i liked all the soundtracks so far, though xros wars’ and frontier’s osts stood out especially for me.

[cakalakgeorge]

New Post has been published on https://www.milliup.com/the-hot-on-da-block-tour-2020/

The Hot On Da Block Tour 2020

We invite you to the “The Hot On Da Block Tour 2020” Co-Sponsored and Co-Hosted by MilliUp taking place January 31st in the THALIAN HALL CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, INC 310 Chestnut Street, Wilmington, NC 28401

The Hot On Da Block Tour 2020 is a unique concert event that gives access to the general public, theater goers, press and professionals.

“Connect your brand & story with consumers in a unique, monumental, and invaluable way! We will deliver a unforgettable experience in “The Hot On The Block Tour 2020” in an amalgamation of student life and prospective consumers, local press, brands, organizations, and general public.

  ARTIST ROSTER

Host- ANGELA HARRIS

BOTTOM BOY INC

FOUR TON

LADY B

BOSS MONEY

KB

MAKZ

ROGUES P & SCOTTY MAC

DARIAN PELMAN

ONE TAKE AND BLACK MAMBA

BLACK BOTTLE BOY BLUE

KENISE TAYLOR

TY 704 & SAVO KASH

RAPPING GRANDPA

ITINERARY

Boys & Girls Club Jan 31 8am-11am Boys & Girls Club 4 Hours Volunteer

1) Motivational Moments Speak on Bullying, Positive Attitudes, Goal Setting, 1 person Tell Children Background Story and how they had a positive outcome

2) Team Builder

3) 2 Performances

4) Plaque Ceremony

Vendor Set Up Jan 31 1pm to 3pm

Meet & Greet Jan 31 3pm to 6pm

Showcase Jan 31 Doors Open 7pm

Showcase Starts Jan 31 Doors Open 7:30pm to 10:30pm

Food & Beverage Available

All Ages Show

  HOT ON DA BLOCK WINTER CONCERT TREATMENT

   MEDIA ASSETS HOLDINGS COMPANY ™

120 WALL ST. 18TH FL C/O NFTE

10005

Johnny Torres

Owner/Managing Partner

johnnytorresmahc@gmail.com

(Internal & External Communications)

TREATMENT

“HOT ON DA BLOCK WINTER CONCERT 2020™” INDEPENDENT ENTREPRENEURIAL FILM AND CONCERT SERIES

Created by: Johnny Torres

Executive Producer:

Directing Coordinator:______________________

Genre: Independent Entrepreneur Film / Reality Series/ Concert Series

Title: HOT ON DA BLOCK 2020™ Where we learn about brands and their contribution to the culture, tactics for survival and pursuit of the American dream opening conversation and contributing to solutions in controversial topic and issues. Narrated by various artists & hosted by special guests.

Logline (short pitch): “YO! MTV Raps” meets “AMERICA’S GOT TALENT” brands participation. Premiering the lives, milestones of the entrepreneurs. See these brands at work, entertaining live, prowling in their circles. At key moments in their stories the brands update the public with their stories and productions being created simultaneously.

Synopsis: “HOT ON DA BLOCK 2020™” fills the void of what people everywhere experience trying to be self made intertwining it with the most informative content ever released in a fun and exciting way. Also shows them contributing to social causes.

Get inside and learn what makes them tick. See them juggling the demands of markets and business building in entertainment in the search for success. Watch their assertive demeanor in the concert series and events..

“HOT ON DA BLOCK 2020™” documents, and follows brands, providing a fascinating social matrix that draws the viewer to bond with their stories.

Each segment of the film and concert  series will have portions devoted to different segments of the brands around their vision, minds and motifs.

“HOT ON DA BLOCK 2020™” – Our castings and Meet and Greets selects individuals in high-visibility businesses such as film, entertainment, advertising, fashion, sales, marketing, law, and the media. Brands efforts will be highlighted to show the stresses, successes, and situations that they encounter…and most importantly how they deal with those experiences.

“Friendship” – The bonding rituals of the brands will be highlighted as the overriding context. Our cast will be a close-knit group of up and coming brands & recording artists. Scene will include the brands meeting for counseling to discuss latest life happenings and frank discussions of the growth of HipHop in a global market.

Sample episode arc-

Intro – A small montage is shown of each young brand to refresh the viewer about their background, , life, and current situation in the video series. This is quickly recapped as we watch the actors in scenes at work and socially, and ends with the actors meeting at a “HOT ON DA BLOCK WINTER CONCERT 2020™” EVENT, or shooting location.

Initial Highlights of advice, shooting tips, etc– Fascinating business advice tips etc recaps from previous days, or recordings, interesting gripes about the workday and/or family, emotional moments among the actors, all of these highlights are shown in 2-3 minute clips per segment/issue/moment.

Health Focus #1 – Recap a current actors drug free, health life and splice it with commentary from one or more of the actors at a gym. Show the actors out on a workout or getting healthy at a gym.

Career Focus – Next the video series will move to one of the interviewing guests (professionals). The preparation, anxiety, delivery, resolution, and reaction to one of the actors location and where it is going to be filmed. Use shots of the location, the other young brands dancing and enjoying the interview and performance, and the actor discussing it happy after the circumstances.

“HOT ON DA BLOCK 2020™” Committee & Cast – participates asking the young brands questions before they interview and shadow professionals.

Friend Focus # 2 – The young brands gather together to discuss how the interviews and shadowing went, what were the results of the interviews and shadowing and a production.

recap – At this point the film segways into a show reinforcing the young brands bonding between them and their  advertisers, sponsors, mentors with shots of them together. Clips from filming that fill in the gaps of the creative and production process of their brand and product and career focuses are shown. The advice, reassurance, and support between the mentors and young brands are highlighted. Any additional outlandish or hilarious stories are played out.

Discuss! – Give the viewer a website link to view and comment on the Film project, Concert ad Video series. Switch the series to a viewing party at a local Middle, School, University, Theater spot where we see the audience’s reaction to the video series. Close by flashing the website again and an opportunity for the young brands to post a video of their friends and be the next set of “HOT ON DA BLOCK 2020™”.

  HOT ON DA BLOCK™ WINTER CONCERT 2020 BIOGRAPHIES

+HOT ON DA BLOCK™ WINTER CONCERT 2020

January 31st 2020

The Hot On Da Block™ Winter Concert  is a fast growing  hiphop production exhibiting a mixture of live performers and entertainers performing a unique colorful vibe to the musical landscape .  

(Scene 1)

HOLLYWOOD ANGELA HARRIS

BIOGRAPHY

Angela Harris, also known as “Hollywood Angel,” is a purpose journalist and native of Panama City, FL. She was born with a knack for God, people, education and entertainment!

Angela earned a Bachelors of Science Degree in Broadcast Journalism from Florida A&M University, one of the top HBCU’s in the US. Home to the Rattlers and the Marching 100’s Band, in the heart of the Capital City!

Hollywood Angel earned her 2nd B.S. Degree in Film from Full Sail University, one of the finest Art schools in the country, located in Winter Park, FL. She has hopes of becoming an Entertainment Lawyer in the near future and currently manages artist, Knolo Stacks of Block Ink Ent, is a PR for IUU MUSIC Hong Kong has conducted A&R and PR work for many in the industry including Que Mussolini, 4G Rap Music, Charisma Mufasa, Swift Slay, Black Ice, Kenyon Glover, Donnell Williams, Jamil Flores, Geechie Dan, Polo the Fur King, Shi Lewis, Jermel Howard and so many more!

Angela has experience as an Opinions Editor, Assistant Editor, and Contributing Writer. She has director credits from creating her own movies and commercials, she is skilled in photography, public relations and social media management.

Some of her work includes: Journey Magazine, OZONE Magazine as a featured Model, Miami Kustoms Magazine, Flaim Magazine, BTMB Magazine, the FAMUAN and Capital Outlook newspaper. She has worked on music videos with Boyz 2 Men,  Nino Brown, Blood Raw, Rapp Brown, Percy Townes, Swift Slay and BBMG. She directed: “Acquaintances, My Friend, Whatever,” a short story on stereotypes of African Americans, an HIV/AIDS awareness PSA which was submitted to a national contest for Global Aids Awareness, and she had the opportunity to submit a test Doritos commercial for the Super Bowl through Full Sail University. Angela has been in front of the camera on many occasions as well as BTS. One of the 1st movies Angela played a role in is, “Chain Reaction,” featuring Rick Ross in character, directed by MBezzy and filmed by Total Kaos! She is also featured in “Forgive Us Our Sin,” by Antoine Gomire, a Chicago Filmmaker and has been cast for “Forgive Us Our Sins II.” Angela is also committed to starring in her 1st feature length film, “Just a Closer Walk,” by John Fredericks, where she will play a role as John’s mother’s best friend!

Angela loves the beach, sunny weather and seafood. She enjoys spending time with family.  And she is extremely excited to be the new Editor-in-Chief for BDL4LIFE Magazine and a current A&R for BDL4LIFE ENT!

“To all of our current supporters, thanks for embracing me with open arms and entrusting me to take BDL4LIFE Magazine to another level! And to all of our future clients, we welcome you with open arms and are extremely happy to bring our supporters a wide array of features, marketing, advertising and promotional opportunities!” Let’s work 2018!!

To Contact Email: BDL4LIFEmagazine@gmail.com

IG: bdl4lifemagazine

Facebook: BDL4LIFE MAGAZINE

Website: BDL4LIFEMAGAZINE.BLOGSPOT.COM

(Scene 2)

LIK BROTHAZ

BIOGRAPHY

Praised by music fans The LIK BROTHAZ are “captivating”.  Performances draw from their notable “style of intellect, message and emotions,”

The LIK BROTHAZ are currently recording their debut album, INFLUENCE, featuring new works and will be released in 2020.

Through their  engaging and thought-provoking songs, branded by listeners as genuinely exciting” and “imaginative,” the LIK BROTHAZ Ty Boogie and Diddy Bop  acclaim for bringing      “young emotional power” to bold new sounds, and for their “fun masterpiece” performances-  The group will tour extensively across North America giving both debut appearances at Thalian Hall Wilmington NC January 31st  as part of a concert series.

Based in Kentucky, the LIK BROTHAZ have been presenting themselves in schools and sporting events throughout the 2019 season, leading the public to applaud them as “a new generation of icons, who cogently traverse a range of repertoire staples and entertain.

Previous recorded music video engagements include: the 2019 Southern Elementary & UK a rendition to the University of Kentucky..

The Duo is getting booked solid to perform  extensively throughout North America, and abroad.

Formed in 2019 and combining 2 distinctive musical personalities into a unique collective, the LIK BROTHAZ draw their name from “LIKE BROTHERS,” noted for their respect and love for each other and others with  incredible detail.

(Scene 3)

Supa Cool

BIOGRAPHY

Anthony Walker better known as RealSupaCool, was born on Novemeber 14th 1985 in Germany.  After moving back to the United States, he began his journey to discover his gift of music.  Elementary school was tough not because of the work but because of anger issues due to divorce from mom and dad.  From there he found his calm thru the music he listened to and used that energy to channel what would become greatness.

RealSupaCool got his official start in middle school where a good friend named Matt told him about the program Fruityloops (FL Studio, which was at version 1.9 at the time).  It allowed hia vision to be produced in beat format using the software he just gained.  Soon talent shows and other artists began to discover him as not only an artist but an extraordinary producer as well.

His past influences are artists like (2Pac, Biggie, T.I., Jeezy, Outkast) and producers like (Dr. Dre, Mannie Fresh, DJ Toomp, Organized Noize) just to name a few.  He has been making quality tracks for over 20 years now and has worked with many people in the industry (Kevin Gates, Bezz Believe, Shaq, Starlito, Gucci Mane, Bubba Sparxxx, Jackboy 1800, OG Boobie Black).

What the future looks like is simply a mission to the top of every chart that can be made in music.  Currently he is a member of Chessboard Enterprises and is a minority shareholder as well.  “My job is to make sure we experience the levels that I’ve already seen in this industry.  This time we do it on our terms as a family like we supposed to.”

(Scene 4)

BOTTOM BOY INC.

BIOGRAPHY

Bottom Boy Inc hailed by fans for their hardcore energy is equally on a world-music stage or performing a concert.  The Bottom Boy Inc.   come together when CEO Johnny Fabian seeks out talent as T.A., BBI Bray, Young God, and Bobaine. and begin successful partnerships from their love for the music— which features a seamless blend of traditional hiphop and crunk music—leading to a busy global touring schedule and a growing catalog of critically acclaimed recordings garnering notoriety.

Committed to performing their debut GET DOWN OR LAY DOWN album music premieres MY DOG , SLIDE, STEPPED ON  along with their best compositions.

BBI The Bottom Boy Inc become connected the concert series striving actively and expanding their repertoire, with contributing works to be announced. . Appearing frequently in diverse non-traditional spaces, night clubs and art galleries the groups  forms an unforgettable experience.

(Scene 5)

LADY BLING

BIOGRAPHY

LADY BLING is one of the best recording artists to descend from Memphis, Tennessee.

“Nothing short of remarkable…Lady Bling  simply, brings whatever she narrates over to glorious life.  That is how music fans describe her.  Whether rapping about hustling, struggles, or telling a story her diverse repertoire captivates audiences and critics with her gritty yet charming stage presence, and entertaining presentation.

Lady Bling‘s renowned SLAUGHTER TIME 2 ALBUM offers a unique combination of a pure   voice and seamless blend of  songs and artists ensembled.

(Scene 6)

Mr. Smith a.k.a BO$$ MONEY

BIOGRAPHY

Meet Mr. Smith a.k.a. “BO$$ Money” —  many have been impatiently waiting.

Performing  “Do Your Thang” his  promise into a persuasive message that resonates an adult  and mature melody creating attention. In this event, BO$$ Money through fly sex appeal and setting a trend  BO$$ Money is reaching audiences elevating excitement and a memorable show.

Applauded by fans a perfect encapsulation of today’s genre-bending trend in Twerk music,” and by like-minded,” BOSS MONEYs interpretation of  Do Your Thang!  makes him one of the most dynamic artists of the culture and generation.

(Scene 7)ROGUES P DRR

BIOGRAPHY

The DARK REIGN ROYALTY camp has earned praise from audiences and critics alike for their show performances, compelling recordings and distinctive repertoire. Hailed as “…a tight-knit explosive with power and un-concealable ambition to connect with their newly found listeners”.

DRRs  connection with its audiences repertoire is diverse, ranging from songs by ROGUES P and SCOTTY MAC such as Your Desire featuring New York’s own pride.    DRRs subsequent performances has  gained praise culminating with performances as part of the concert  series.

DRR is  based in Long Island NY.

.

(Scene 8)STATEN STARS

BIOGRAPHY

(Scene 9)GEE GEE

BIOGRAPHY

(Scene 10)

Living Darian

BIOGRAPHY

Cincinnati, Ohio born Darian has led a challenging life resulting in ultimate victory. His birth father, onetime James Brown guitarist Calvin Goshade, returned to touring during his mother’s pregnancy and had no idea he had a son and his mother, Shelia Faye Owen, attempted raising him and his two sisters before cancer felled her ten days before Darian’s fifth birthday. Owen had chosen individuals to care for her children upon her death but sexual abuse soon fragmented the grieving children – Darian’s sisters were adopted and Darian moved thirteen times over the next three years before William and Marilyn Pellman adopted him.

Perhaps it seems natural, given his DNA, that Darian found music soon after. He started playing drums at the age of ten, began composing his own music by his fourteenth birthday, and had his own studio at the tender age of eighteen years old. He logged seven years as a member and executive producer of the band Non-Fiction but differences eventually dissolved the unit and Darian has worked as a solo artist since then. His album release Live For Love illustrates a vast array of influences – much of his material draws from hip hop, but blues and rock alike make their presence felt as well. His multi-instrumental talents fuel the sprawling eighteen song collection and his production work shaping the release distinguishes its sound.

The opener “Hit the Highway” melds his rock influences with a high velocity hip hop styled delivery. There’s a light synthesizer touch adding color to the track at key points, phased guitar riffing, and simmering energy keeping the track on a headlong path from its first seconds to last. This is a strong way to begin the album and the variation Darian brings to his vocal delivery further sets the song apart from similar efforts. The album’s title song opens with pensive and lyrical piano before expanding into a mid-tempo hip hop groove. It features second vocalist Jangles as a featured guest and his voice provides a low-key dramatic contrast with Darian’s own. Darian intends this song to stand as a definitive personal statement about his own destiny and what he wants from his world; the mix of attitude and musicality provides a perfect forum for such aspirations.

“These Things” is another mix of stylistic approaches opening with a blast of soul before incorporating his hip hop sound into the composition. It is impossible to not be impressed by the seamless way he blends seemingly disparate musical strands into an unified whole; other artists can’t pull such a synthesis off without it sounding disjointed and poorly conceived. “Down by the River” has a light funk edge and a moody near singer/songwriter sensibility unlike anything else discussed thus far in this review. The performance dispenses with the hip hop influences prevalent throughout much of the album in favor of a stripped down musical attack built around Darian’s voice and guitar.

“Gullible” has a slinky groove snaking its way over the course of three and a half minutes Darian matches with an understated vocal throughout. It is one of the release’s hidden gems and should be compelling in a live setting. The album concludes with a reprise of the title track sans Jangles’ vocal contributions – this take on the track varies little from the previous version but the additional emphasis on Darian’s performance gives it a greater personal quality than ever before. Living Darian’s latest release Live for Love is the peak so far in a short career, but he’s accomplished more as an artist than many of his contemporaries manage over decades. It is bracing to think about how early he is in his journey.

(Scene 11)

JOHN FOUR TON

BIOGRAPHY

(Scene 12)

RPG a.k.a. Rapping GrandPa

BIOGRAPHY

[nellie-elizabeth]

Suits: The Painting (6x12)

Harvey Specter's emotional arc is one of the most impressive things this show has ever done. It's one of the most impressive character arcs on any of the shows I'm watching right now, actually. But before we talk about that, I should complain about some other stuff first:

Cons:

Mike's plot was less successful than Harvey's, although it did still have a lot of promise. Basically, Mike gets the job working at a legal clinic, despite his criminal history. The catch is that he's getting paid pennies on the dollar, even though he has partner-level experience. I don't exactly object to this development, because I think it's going to add a lot of good material going forward, but I do object to Mike getting this job right away, and without a lot of struggle. It seems contrived that he'd get a job literally a day after losing one as a teacher. It seems silly that his obstacle now is that he's not making a lot of money, because based on the apartment Rachel and Mike live in, they've been rolling in dough for a while now. Now, if going forward, money becomes an actual concern in Mike and Rachel's lives, I'd like to see that. But as it is, the downside of Mike's situation seems pretty much nonexistent. It seems like he got the perfect job handed to him way too quickly.

I guess what I'm saying is that maybe the plot is accelerating a little too quickly, here. Not only does Mike start this job, he also has a confrontation with one of his new underlings, tells the truth to all his co-workers about his time in prison, and helps save a woman from eviction. I almost wish Mike had kept the truth of his past a secret for a while. I mean, not from his employers, but from all the people he's supervising. There was some great tension and complexity to explore, and it all happened too fast.

I suppose I should also lodge my formal complaint that Donna and Rachel are too often relegated to supportive roles only. Rachel is just there to cheer Mike on as he gets another job, and Donna encourages Harvey to reconnect with his mother. I'm not saying these roles aren't vitally important, but I still crave my Donna-centric story-line. I still crave something for her to do other than serve the male leads.

Pros:

Like I said above, I do like the setup for Mike's story. It offers a lot of cool potential for the future. I like his new friends, his boss, the general atmosphere. I like that Mike dove headfirst into an unfamiliar situation, got involved, and kicked ass. I love that he's working at something he feels really proud of. I anticipate some interesting contrasts between the legal clinic's clients, the poor and downtrodden, with PSL's wealthy clientele. This could be a really intriguing avenue to explore.

I think the best moment here was when Mike is in court, and can't stand up to help a woman about to be evicted unfairly. He's not an attorney, so he has no right to speak for a client in front of a judge. It's a heartrending moment, because Mike really does want to help, and he knows much more about this than the actual lawyer who's trying his best. Mike has to hold himself to a different standard now, and I'm enjoying watching him struggle with that.

Briefly, Louis didn't have a ton to do this week, but what we did see showed that he really is growing up. Donna tells him to help Harvey out with one of his clients, since Harvey has flown off to see his mother. Louis is petulant at first, but by the end of the episode he's realized that all of Harvey's clients are the firm's clients, and that he can't let himself get overwhelmed with jealousies. Basically, Harvey and Louis decide to be co-managing partners for the time being, and they decide to keep the firm's name exactly the same. It was a lovely moment of reconciliation for them. I hope the show can find new ways to challenge Harvey and Louis as characters, instead of just having them butt heads for the millionth time. A united front will make for more interesting stories going forward.

Harvey's plot is where the real heart and soul of this episode rests. I'm not going to go too much into the details of what happens. Basically, we see flashbacks to Harvey's father's funeral, and we also see the current story-line, where Harvey is trying to move past his anger with his mom. I love that this episode showed the other side of the story. Harvey is livid when his mom has the nerve to "forgive" him for being absent all of these years, but his brother Marcus knocks some sense into him. Harvey has been neglecting his family. In the end, Harvey and his mother share a hug, and it looks like this might be a new start for them.

There are so many things going on here. It's delicious and complex and I love every second. Harvey, as we know, is a character who values loyalty and family above all else. This is partially because of his experiences growing up, and the pain his mother put him through. So to hear Lily accuse Harvey of neglecting his family was a real low blow. And yet, she's right. What's so brilliant about this setup is that it's not a simple question of Lily doing something wrong. Because she did do something wrong, and Harvey has every right to be furious with her. However...

It's Marcus who points out to Harvey that while Lily and her new husband might be monsters to Harvey, to Marcus's kids, they're just Grandma and Grandpa. Harvey learns, to his horror, that Marcus got sick again, and didn't even feel like he could tell his big brother, because of all the inter-family drama. Marcus was a great character in this episode. He's happy to see his big brother, and happy to think that the family might be healing a rift, but he's not on Harvey's side in all this. As he points out, there's a whole life going on here. It's been going on for years, and Harvey hasn't been a part of it. His anger, while justified, isn't going to change that reality.

Great acting from Gabriel Macht. He has to pull out all the angst, and he does so with aplomb. The shot of him crying at his father's funeral comes full circle when he cries looking at a picture of his mom painting the famous duck painting. Donna helps him hang up the photo, which he bought, in his office where the old painting went. The emotional catharsis felt earned, and needed. I do hope, moving forward, that Harvey can feel more integrated into the firm's plot thread. What with his desperation to get Mike out of prison, and now his anxiety about Jessica leaving, he hasn't actually felt much like an attorney working at a top law firm in quite a while.

That's where I'll stop. This half of Season Six is feeling a tad bit disjointed to me thus far. I'm not thrilled at the yelling between Mike and Harvey last week. I'm not thrilled with how easy Mike found getting back into working with the law. But I have hopes that we'll get some cohesion as the season continues. This episode was worth it just for Harvey's story!

7.5/10

[jobsearchtips02]

10 methods to play great computer game while you’re stuck inside

Link can go everywhere you see in this image in “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.”.

Nintendo.

Due to the continuous coronavirus pandemic, individuals all over are spending more time in the house.

What to do with all that spare time? Play fantastic video games!

Here are our tips for the best computer game to play for all kinds of individuals.

Go to Company Expert’s homepage for more stories.

You stuck at home?

However when you’re through with that stuff, and find yourself bored once again, here are some killer tips for the best video games to play.

Dive into a spectacular, huge world with “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.”

Nintendo.

Much of the setup for “Breath of the Wild” took place 100 years in the past. The game expects that you (Link) and Princess Zelda– the long time heroine of the series– failed in a significant battle versus antagonist Ganon.

Platform( s): Nintendo Wii U and Nintendo Switch

Laugh your face off with family and friends of any ages with any/all of the “Jackbox Party Load” video game packages.

Jackbox Games.

Ignore Parcheesi– your family and friends will have much more fun with absurd and wonderful Jackbox Games classics like “Quiplash” and, obviously, “You Do Not Know Jack.”

There are so many benefits to the excellent “Jackbox Party Packs.” They come with a lot of video games in each, they’re playable with a lot of individuals without any additional hardware, they’re offered on every platform, and they’re a ton of fun.

Each pack includes a handful of different video games, and each game is its own parlor game. Some are concentrated on trivia while others are closer to Mad Libs or Pictionary. The games are widely smart, simple to discover, and extremely replayable.

More than anything else on this list, the “Jackbox” video games are accessible for anyone– whether you have actually played great deals of computer game or never ever held a controller in your life.

Platform( s): Basically everything, including every game console, computer system platform, and a lot of set-top boxes.

Chill with “Stardew Valley.” Simply chill.

Stardew Valley.

” The best method to explain the video game, as a whole, is ‘lovely,'” my coworker, Matt Weinberger, wrote in a 2018 enjoy letter to “Stardew Valley.”

” There’s no real pressure,” he composed. Simply put, “Stardew Valley” is a really chill video game. And in these trying times, couldn’t you use a chill game?

Here’s how Matt described the game:

” You are a city-slicker who inherits his late grandpa’s dilapidated farm. It depends on you to plant crops, break rocks, slice wood, and cut yard to bring back the farm to its former glory. And as your farming expertise grows, so too will your relationship with your neighbors in the town of Stardew Valley, the game’s namesake. If you ever played the timeless Super Nintendo title ‘Harvest Moon,’ the video game’s inspiration, you understand what to expect.”

Better still: Considering that releasing back in 2016, the game has gotten a string of considerable, free updates that included major features like online multiplayer.

Instead of rejuvenating Twitter, why not water some crops and tend to some chickens? Now is the ideal time for some self care.

Platform( s): PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Change, PC, Mac, iOS, Android

Master battle royale video games: “Fortnite,” “Pinnacle Legends,” and “Call of Responsibility: Warzone” are all free– and excellent.

EA/Respawn Entertainment.

In Between “Fortnite,” “Pinnacle Legends,” and “Call of Task: Warzone,” there is a ton of enjoyable to be had for no dollars.

Each of these video games belongs to the extremely zeitgeisty fight royale game genre, which derived its name from the movie of the same name in which a group of high schoolers combat to the death on an island.

It can be intimidating in the beginning, however the genre rewards mastery– and if you’ve got a lot of time inside, why not invest it becoming a battle royale master?

Platform( s): PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Change, PC, Mac, iOS, Android

Discover your childhood with the Nintendo Switch Online retro games from NES and Super NES.

Nintendo.

Nintendo Change Online is Nintendo’s variation of PlayStation Plus and Xbox Live Gold– in order to play video games online, you must spend for a membership.

That unto itself isn’t extremely interesting, however the library of retro video games that includes the Nintendo Switch Online membership certainly is! For $20/ year, Nintendo offers a library of over 60 timeless games from the Nintendo Home Entertainment System and Super Nintendo Entertainment System.

The list consists of several significant “Super Mario Bros.” video games, numerous significant “The Legend of Zelda” video games, and lots of other classics– from “River City Ransom” to “Pilotwings.”

Nintendo Switch Online is, honestly, a significant anticipate what you’re getting: Literally lots of Nintendo classics across two timeless game consoles. Those video games likewise include contemporary amenities, like save states that allow you to stop video games anywhere you desire and jump back in exactly where you left off.

Platform( s): Nintendo Switch

Or play some of the very best brand-new games with the huge instant library of Xbox Video game Pass.

Microsoft.

Perhaps you’re not into the retro thing, and you’re aiming to play things like “Grand Theft Auto 5” and “The Witcher 3”? A somewhat costlier, but likewise exceptional option exists in Xbox Game Pass.

For $10/ month, Xbox Video game Pass offers access to a library of over 100 games. Every brand-new game that Microsoft publishes, from “Forza” to “Halo,” is offered through Game Pass at launch, in addition to a broad library of major third-party games, like the previously mentioned “Grand Theft Vehicle 5” and “The Witcher 3.” It likewise features replayable stuff like “NBA 2K20” and “Tekken 7.”

If you own an Xbox, there are couple of better offers to be discovered in video gaming– and if you’re looking for a library of video games to play while passing the time inside, look no more than Game Pass.

Platform( s): Xbox One, PC

Loading Something is packing.

Play all the big PlayStation 4 exclusives you have not yet, from “Marvel’s Spider-Man” to “God of War” and “The Last of Us.”

Marvel’s Spider-Man.

There are too lots of excellent games on the PlayStation 4.

” God of War” is an excellent, gorgeous action video game with an unexpected depth to its characters.

” The Last of United States” takes the endlessly retread trope of the zombie armageddon and uses it to stunningly psychological ends in a game that assists to move the entire genre forward.

Accept your inner divine being while clearing lines in the very best “Tetris” video game ever made, “Tetris Result.”

Enhance/The Tetris Business.

” Tetris Effect” takes a fundamental game (” Tetris”), performs it completely, and crucially evolves the principle into something totally fresh.

The foundation of “Tetris Impact” is still concentrated on creating and clearing lines from the play field as brand-new blocks are randomly created from the top. There is no significant shift or development in this regard– “Tetris Impact” is, at its core, a “Tetris” video game.

The game’s title seems like a mental phenomenon– and it is, in truth, exactly that: where gamers begin “seeing” the patterns of “Tetris” on the planet or in their mind as they wander off to sleep. “Tetris Effect,” the game, takes that and twists it back on itself.

Throughout gameplay, a synaesthetic journey takes place in the background. With each twist of the “Tetris” block (” tetronimo”) and lateral movement, the game’s music responds in turn. While this acoustic partnership occurs, the game’s background visuals take gamers on a journey through space, or the oceans, or across a huge desert.

It’s surreal, lovely, intense– and it’s much more than a parlor trick.

Beyond offering an extra audio/visual part, these synaesthetic effects serve to additional imprint the game’s seemingly simple gameplay into consciousness. It deepens an already flow-like experience.

Platform( s): PlayStation 4, PC

Hit the road with the slow-pourin’ “Red Dead Redemption 2.”

Rockstar Games.

On its surface, “Red Dead Redemption 2” is a cowboy game about six-shooters, burglaries, and living outside the law. It’s a Western-styled shooting game with a huge open world. The game’s advertising tagline says all of it: “Hooligans for life.”

Rockstar’s fictionalized 1899 America is a stunning, deep, remarkably slow-paced experience that concentrates on one male’s journey of self-realization.

” Outlaws for life” seems like a fight cry, but in “Red Dead Redemption 2” it’s really a desperate effort to hold together a lifestyle that’s quickly ending up being untenable.

” Red Dead Redemption 2″ is also an absolutely huge journey of a game– the “There Will Be Blood” of computer game, that needs as big an intellectual financial investment as it does time. If there’s a better time to dive into such an endeavor than today, while stuck inside your home, I do not know it.

Platform( s): PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PC

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from Job Search Tips https://jobsearchtips.net/10-methods-to-play-great-computer-game-while-youre-stuck-inside/

[robertkstone]

Celebrity Drive: Glen Plake of HISTORY’s ‘Truck Night in America’

Quick Stats: Glen Plake, host, HISTORY’s “Truck Night in America” Daily Driver: 2002 Ford F-350 (Glen’s rating: 9 on a scale of 1 to 10) Other cars: see below Favorite road trip: Mexico Car he learned to drive in: 1940s Jeep CJ First car bought: 1959 Chevy pickup

Skiing icon Glen Plake has long participated in races in Baja, at his local race track, and worked on his cars. Now he brings his car skills to the HISTORY channel’s “Truck Night in America,” where contestants build out their trucks for different challenges.

“I have so many daily drivers,” he says, with a laugh. “I probably have one of 10 different vehicles that I can drive at a given time.”

Photo: HISTORY

Plake owns various trucks and Jeeps as well as cars. His latest and most prized possession of all is also his first vehicle—a 1959 Chevy pickup—and it’s one he’ll be working on as soon as he can find some free time. After Plake let go of the truck, he immediately regretted it. But in a moment of serendipity, his beloved, worn-out Chevy with old bike racing stickers all over the interior popped up in an ad, just as he was once again lamenting he had sold it 15 years earlier.

“I just happened to be sitting on this airplane and I was reminiscing going, ‘Man I wish I had my old ’59, gosh dang it, I miss it. I can’t believe I let that thing go.’ And then boom, this ad pops up and I see these stickers and it was like, ‘Are you kidding me?’ It was pretty funny when I told my wife, ‘You won’t believe what I just happened to find on Craigslist. She goes, ‘What?’ I showed her the picture, she’s like, ‘What time are we leaving?’ I’m like, ‘We’re going right now,’” he says, laughing.

It was only when he saw the stickers that Plake realized it was indeed his truck, because it was a completely different color and not in the same shape he left it.

“The guy took pictures of the interior and I had old bicycle racing stickers in it that are very, very particular and the ad said, ‘’59 Chevy pickup. Might need some help. Interior covered with unique stickers. Will make good rat rod,’” he says.

Plake also still had the pink slip because he says the guy he sold it to paid him $200 and was supposed to pay another $200 and never did. “He disappeared and I was like, ‘Dang, I shoulda never sold that truck.’ It was sitting behind the barn for years and he kept bothering me,” he says, with a laugh. “When I was younger I really loved those old square Chevys,” he says. “It was just an old farm truck and still is. A year or two after I let it go, I started seeing the whole rat rod restoration happening. I was like, ‘Are you kidding me?’”

When he met with the seller and had the truck loaded on a trailer, he had told the seller more about the truck’s history.

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

Plake told him the story about how it was his truck that he had since he was 14. “This is the pink slip, so I should have no problem registering it,” he says. “He couldn’t believe his eyes. I said, ‘Here’s the deal, my grandfather bought that from Santa Rita [jail] at an auction, we drove it around as an irrigation truck for years and then I got it.’ He was like, ‘No way! Really?’”

The owners after Plake left the old Italian bicycle racing stickers he and his friends put in there.

“That’s what tied me to the ad. That’s what got me looking at the dang thing to begin with. I was in Seattle and I happened to be checking Northern California, I don’t know how it popped up but it did,” Plake says. “When I told him the story, it was funny, he wanted a lot more for it, and then he was like, ‘Alright screw it, get it out of here!’ He was a car guy and he’s like, ‘I knew there was something going on! I would never sell this truck for as low as I did! I knew I had to sell this thing to you!’”

Plake plans to put an S10 chassis underneath it so that it can once again be a daily driver.

He’s got many memories with this truck, including the time he lost a tire and the trailer jackknifed. “I used to be big a wind surfer, so I chased wind all around the western United States in that stupid old truck. Out to Palm Springs, down to Mexico, back up to Nevada.”

Plake already has a donor truck ready for the chassis swap. “I’m not going to do nothing to it, it’ll look exactly the same, except I’m going to have new running gear on it. It’ll be the third S10 swap with some friends, we’ve done a couple of ‘51’s, another friend did it with a 1942 bread van,” he says. “It’s really simple.”

Plake is pretty stoked when he’s around his old truck, and also remembers the time he had to replace the front windshield. “I got shot at in that truck,” he says, with a laugh. “Being a kid and all of a sudden, bam! We’re in a bad neighborhood. The shot went right through the front windshield.”

2002 Ford F-350

Rating: 9

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

Plake considers this F-350 his old workhorse. “I got it because a family member passed away and I ended up with it,” he says. “I don’t have any new vehicles and never have.”

His favorite car is one that isn’t street legal—his 2013 IMCA dirt modified track car, which he sometimes takes to his local track.

1986 Chevy C30

Rating: 10

“It very rarely drives without a trailer or massive load behind it or in it,” Plake says. “If I’m just hauling around bicycles you don’t need a one ton truck, but if we’re hauling race cars to the track, then you need a big truck. I don’t believe you should be driving a big truck around just to go to the store, I never could figure that out but people do.”

Plake purchased this truck used and had a custom race trailer built to match it. “Now it’s just so strange to be driving something like that in today’s modern world, people look at you funny. It’s pretty classic now,” he says.

1960 Chevy Impala SS

Rating: 10

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

Plake got the Impala as payment for a sponsorship years ago. “Nothing more styling than a ‘60 Impala,” Plake says. “I love that there’s not a lot of ‘60s Impalas. If you go to a car show, it’s not like another dang blue Camaro, or another stupid Mustang.”

He says when he drives it, it’s the only one of its kind on the road. “[Many were] crushed or considered something not to save and yet they’re just absolutely beautiful. You sit and stare at the thing forever,” he says.

Plake especially loves this model year. “They’re just beautiful, the lines are so good, with the big horizontal fins on them,” he says. “Just to look back to think that that body was changed every year, and that those stamps were changed every year. It freaks me out, the whole dash is a stamped piece of steel. I can’t believe that was changed on a yearly basis.”

1964 Cadillac limousine

Rating: 1

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

Even though Plake was blessed to somehow be reunited with his first car, his friend who once owned this Cadillac isn’t as lucky.

“It’s part of the family, we’ve had it forever and ever and ever. It was a friend of mine’s first car, and over the course of many years and different engines and different things, I ended up with it. To this day, he’s still so mad I have his first car and I won’t sell it to him even though it’s not worth very much, I specifically keep it just to bother him,” he says, laughing. “Someday I’ll give it back to him.”

1994 Buick Roadmaster

Rating: 8

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

The Roadmaster was Plake’s grandfather’s last car, and one he didn’t have to buy at an auction. “When he passed away, my grandmother had it, and I knew what it was. I said, ‘Don’t dare take that thing to a car dealership,’” he says.

Plake found out how nice it was when he and his wife were driving his pickup down to Los Angeles for a day and his grandfather suggested he try the Buick instead.

“As we were driving along on I-5 minding our own business, somebody came up to us in a tuner-type car with a big spoiler on the back making a bunch of noise and he jumped up on it … and I went, ‘Well, the Roadmaster’s got some pretty long legs, I’m going to jump on it.’ The car took off and went pretty good and then we continued to enjoy the ride and when I got back, I said, ‘That’s an interesting car, grandpa.’”

His grandfather used to get a Buick every two years. “It was the last of the Roadmasters, so it had the LT1 in it, which is the virtually the Vette motor, dual stainless exhausts from the factory,” he says.

When he’s in the Buick, for Plake it’s like floating on a cloud. “I wish the suspension was a little firmer. It’s pretty soft,” he says.

When Plake is in Europe, where he lives half the year, he drives a 2002 Mercedes Benz. “[In Europe], I’m dealing with speed limits that are above what we drive, and typically I’m driving on an auto route that requires quite a lot of attention. In the U.S. it’s funny, our speed limits are low, so I just drive along from that standpoint,” he says.

That’s why Plake loves the Buick for these American roads. “It corners terrible, but where is there a corner in the western United States? It’s all straight roads and you can’t go that fast on them,” he says. “So I don’t mind sitting in a 1994 Buick just cruising along. I don’t need some elaborate vehicle. I never could figure out supercars. What are you going to do with the dang thing? They’re expensive and then they get really expensive if you have to go out and drive them, if you do somehow get some track time, God forbid you wad the thing up. I’m not a real sophisticated vehicle driver by any means.”

Car he learned to drive in

Although he grew up in the Lake Tahoe area, Plake learned how to drive an old 1940s Jeep CJ at 7 years old at his grandfather’s Central Valley farm that grew sugar beets and alfalfa, where he spent his summers.

He used to help his grandfather drive the old Jeep around, and later drove tractors. He also had a go kart when he was young.

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

“Every time I’d get on one of the farm roads, grandpa would let me drive. It was an old surplus Jeep—I think it was an old 2A,” he says. “It was what we used to tow the irrigation hoses with. You have all the siphon hoses to go from the ditch into the field, and they’d have this long trailer with all the irrigation hoses in it, pipes in it and he’d put it in first gear, the thing had twin sticks so you’d basically drive itself, and he’d sit me in the seat.”

All Plake had to do was steer straight. “We didn’t really drive around too much, we’re talking big agriculture, fields are four miles long and I’d be driving along. He’d always let me drive his Ford pickup truck, too, if I had to go to some field. My grandpa said if you want a truck for work, you buy a Ford, if you to drive a truck to work you buy a Chevy,” he says, laughing.

Favorite road trip

Plake has a perfect drive in Europe. “I took a dream drive—a friend’s got an old Alfa Romeo that I got to drive around in Europe one summer. I got to drive over Great St. Bernard Pass in a ’72 Alfa Romeo, the tires are squealing and you’re only doing 30,” he says, laughing.

Plake has done Baja races including the Baja 500 and 1000, but he also loves the many road trips he’s done down to Mexico for fun.

“I love driving down in Baja, I just love it,” Plake says. “Whether it’s for a race or driving to go visit my dad, we have a house down there for fishing. A lot of memories down there.”

“Anytime I’m on those old roads, and I’ve seen the roads go from dirt and what used to take two days, now we’re doing it in about six hours, I’ve just seen the transformation take place,” he says, adding that the scenery is great. “You’ve got ocean on one side, desert on another, up over the hills,” he says. “I’m from the Great Basin, so it’s nice to see the different cactuses, they’re quite beautiful.”

Photo courtesy of Glen Plake

Plake is usually in an older model car, so it’s not got the distractions of today’s models. “We’ve got air conditioning and that’s nice. The old pickup has 265 air—two windows down going 65,” he says, laughing. “I’ve got a half ton Chevy I drive there a lot or I drive the big F-350, if I’m hauling a boat. If I’m going to be in a vehicle, I like the vehicle itself, I don’t need all the amenities. Tomorrow I’m going to drive a Jeep up to the ranch. It’s a 2000 Jeep, yeah the radio sucks and it rattles.”

Going to Mexico very much represents just focusing on the drive. “You’re checking gauges, you’re making sure there’s air in your tires, you’re driving, you’re in command of a vehicle. Most people don’t realize how special that really is,” Plake says. “I’m definitely reflective in the ride, you might play the Mexican radio, or you might want to plug in the iPhone, but for the most part I’m definitely taking in the drive. If there’s a common theme about most of my vehicles—you can sleep in them.”

His usual road trip to Mexico gets him to the border by 1 a.m. and he sleeps in the car for a few hours and then takes off early the next morning.

HISTORY Channel’s “Truck Night in America”

Plake has an extensive racing resume, which include races in Baja, the Dakar Rally, and local weekly stock car racing. “I love it very much … I build my own cars and I work on all my motors,” he says. “I’m just as happy sitting and watching a bomber race at my local race track as I am sitting on the pit wall with Wood brothers at a NASCAR race.”

A friend referred him to try out for the hosting gig, which he shares with fellow expert coaches Pete Sohren, Abe Wine, and Rob Park. “We started kicking tires and having some shop talk. Most people don’t realize I was born with a wrench in my hand, helping my grandparents,” he says.

IFTTT

[rescueschmuck-blog]

Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King Switch Review

This review is based off of a review copy provided by FDG Entertainment, This does not impact my opinions on the game, However. 

Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King is a game published by FDG Entertainment and developed by Castle Pixel, Who have only made one other game called Rex Rocket which I’ve never heard of up until this point. So as their second game, Is Blossom Tales any good? Let’s take a look.

THE STORY

The game begins with two children named Chrys and Lily waking up their Grandpa, Tired of hearing the exact same stories over and over again, He tells them about the Kingdom of Blossom, A place where you have to name your children after plants or they get banished to the nether realm a little girl named Lily (Unrelated to the other Lily, I think) lives.

It's a big day for Lily, As she rushes towards the castle and is appointed as a Knight of the Rose and magically forms a sword and shield out of nowhere. As her first knightly duty, The King orders her to clear the rat infestation underneath the castle. After blowing up the Rat King into smithereens and stealing his stash of bombs, Lily did what any sane person would do and immediately blew up the nearest wall. Coincidentally, It lead to the laboratory of the King’s brother, Crotus who has an evil scheme to curse his brother into an eternal slumber, Amass an evil army of orcs and take over the Kingdom. Lily however wouldn’t have any of that and rushes towards the Throne Room, But alas, Is too late. Crotus had already sent the King to Dreamland, Lily tried as hard as she could but Crotus knocked her out and disappeared. When Lily came to, She was greeted by the Disciples of the Rose who inform her of the 3 flowers that when joined together, Can cure almost any curse. Without hesitation Lily rushes toward the  Golem’s Haven where the first flower is stored, Beginning her Blossoming Tale.

THE GRAPHICS 

The graphics are a huge love-letter to the 16-bit era of gaming, The environments are varied, The sprites for the characters are nice but look more Game Gear-esque than what you’d find on the Super Nintendo. The enemy and boss designs are cool, I especially love how the bosses of the Lava and Ice dungeons look, They’re cool.

The only design i don’t really like is Crotus himself, He just looks like a disgruntled lion, Not an all-powerful wizard.

All in all, The game looks good, I like it.

THE MUSIC

The soundtrack is good. Really good. A lot of the tracks are really catchy and nice to listen to. I especially love the Pirate Queen’s theme, Frostroot Dungeon and Crotus’ Castle. Some tracks, However sound a bit too much like some very specific Zelda songs, Specifically the Golem’s Haven theme and Scarol the Witch’s theme, They sound eerily similar to Zelda’s Lullaby and The Fortune Teller’s house from A Link to the Past respectively. The ALTTP similarities don’t end there, However. Nope, They sure don’t.

THE GAME

Yeah, The game is very, VERY similar to ALTTP, Even down to the main protagonist waking up from bed and immediately heading towards a castle, Only to go out on a journey across the kingdom to collect 3 objects to save someone in royalty and defeat a wizard.

Throughout the 4 dungeons and across the overworld, You’ll collect several tools that will hep you on your journey, From a Bow and Arrow and some bombs to a game-breaking medallion that summons bees, Nearly every tool you collect has some practical use both in and out of dungeons. Having a tough time with a large amount of enemies? Use the bee medallion and become the god of death and destruction, Demolishing even the toughest of foes and biggest of baddies.

There’s an energy meter, Much like ALBW, Which i love. It’s great because i usually hate grinding for bombs and arrows in Zelda games, So i’m glad they implemented it here. What i don’t like in this game, However, Is the grinding. A very large majority of side quests in this game require you to grind a specific enemy for 20 of it’s parts. You don’t HAVE to do these, But if you want to get 100% completion you need to do these. Sometime you don’t even have a choice to grind. As early as the FIRST DUNGEON i was bombarded by an incredibly large amount of enemies in multiple rooms, It got kinda overwhelming. Speaking of the dungeons, Whoever designed them must really love conveyor belts and bottomless pits, They are everywhere in every dungeon, Especially in Crotus’ Castle, DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CROTUS’ CASTLE. They went a little overboard with the conveyor belt and bottomless pit combo, I was stuck on two specific parts for nearly 15 minutes each, It got a little ridiculous.

 The puzzles are eh, There are only really 5 puzzles in the game but they’re made more and more difficult. It’s serviceable i guess, But i would’ve preferred a little bit more variety.

The bosses are great, I love nearly every one of them. All of them are unique and can be approached in multiple different ways, I like that. I had a really hard time with the mini-boss of the fire dungeon, But after looking around i got the earthquake medallion and still got my ass handed to me, But i tried and tried again and when i finally beat him, It was really satisfying. 

One mechanic that was criminally underused was being able to choose certain aspects of the game. Because the game is essentially a story, Things can be twisted and changed. For example: You're given a choice to have the leader of the thieves be a Pirate Queen or a Bandit Ninja, Whatever one you choose is the one you’ll fight. This is a really cool mechanic that is sadly only used twice in the entire game. If there’s ever a sequel (Please let there be a sequel) I want this mechanic to be more of a focus, It could add a lot more replay value and give people different experiences. A man can dream, Right?

Alright, Let’s talk about the ending. 

After you collect the final ingredient, Crotus immediately attacks the castle with his newfound army of Orcs. As soon as the Orcs reach the throne room and all hope seems lost, Lily gets teleported in and the ingredients fuse together, Lifting the curse on the king and destroying nearly all of Crotus’ army. Crotus retreats to the Wastelands and Lily gives chase, But only after the king powers up her sword. After fighting through hundreds of Orcs and falling into many pits, Lily finally reaches the heart of Crotus’ Castle. Lily unleashes the bees and Crotus (almost) instantly dies and proceeds to poof out of existence. Lily returns to the castle, Gets a fancy ring from the king and the game ends. Huh. I was expecting a little more.

Meanwhile, In the real world, Grandpa tells Lily and Chrys to go to bed and the game actually ends. But not before Chrys goes back into the room and the shield above their fireplace flashes. I guess that’s supposed to signify something, Maybe there are more blossoming tales yet to be told? One can hope.

THE VERDICT

What Blossom Tales lacks in originality, It makes up for in just being a damn good game, It’s one of the best Zelda-esque games out there and certainly the best one on the Switch. It has charming characters, A neat world, a great soundtrack and a ton of extra content to keep you coming back. While i may have my problems with it, They aren’t big enough to ruin the experience as a whole. I’m interested to see what Castle Pixel has in store for the future, A sequel that expands on the original and removes all the annoying stuff? Something like Zelda 2 that throws everything out the window to give an entirely new experience? An RPG? Ok, Ok, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, I know.  Best of luck to everyone at both Castle Pixel and FDG Entertainment,  I’m really excited to see what all of you do in the future. 

[sistercampbell]

Woche 57 (Aug 7 - 15, 2017) "Excitement!"

Oi.

Maili Moment:(So there was a ton of larvae on the outside garbage cans) Maili- "Did you see the larvies? I was so happy!!" Us- "Ew why!?"Maili- "I was soooo excited!!! Excitement!!!" Us- "They turn into flies! That's not good Maili...." Maili- "Yes it is, it's food for the birds!"Us- *face palm* 

Last week p-day, we did a photoshoot in our dirndls with Mailis daughter then went bowling with her and her daughter. I forgot how much I love and how fun bowling is. Doesn’t sound like a big deal but for us missionaries it was.

Tuesday was interviews in Munich with Pres. Brown which were good! He's awesome and I love his enthusiasm for missionary work. After those we went with the Munich Sisters to an eating appointment with a less active named Ada. She was a professional model back in the day (I mean she modeled for Gucci and what not) and is currently a chef. She has her own cooking show in Germany. She made lunch for us so we could experience her cooking skills; filet mignon to be exact! I was in heaven talking with her about cooking and food! She is so sassy but has a good heart about the gospel. Hopefully we run into her again.

Wednesday was zone conference. Sis. LaFontaine and I, along with the zone leaders taught about how to improve our teaching/planning skills, then applying that into member missionary work. Our main focus was getting better trust between members and missionaries so investigators could be brought into appointments/friendships. Because, we always talk about as a mission how we need to go finding, then come baptisms. Yes, finding is important but from finding to baptism, there's a huge gap of something missing that helps those investigators reach the end goal of baptism and that we need to work on more. It could be a lot of things, but we felt inspired to teach about the members and working with them better. Stake president Auras came to talk to us about it too and I could really feel the spirit as he was talking. It was a good conference!

Thursday/Friday I woke up sick so we stayed in but on Friday we were able to make it out to see Susanne. We met her in a Indian restaurant, because she like the vibe it gave off?! She told us she had finished reading the whole Book of Mormon the day before! Wahnsinn! 2 months since baptism and she was finished! She loves the Book of Mormon and knows it's the Word of God. I love listening to her talk about it, because she speaks with genuine love for it and what it contains. We showed her the Restoration video which she loved, in the middle of the Indian restaurant, while eating fancy curry rice bowls. ‘Twas a good time. Came home and I slept because I was sick. 

Then we went to a members house with the Elders for dinner. We had a traditional German abendbrot; bread and spread, different cheeses and meats including blood sausage and Mettwurst (raw spreadable meat for toast and my favorite now) it was delicious. Shared how the Plan of Salvation is one of the biggest examples of Gods love for us, then got some tips on how to work with Germans.

Saturday=old lady train, one of them was too sick to meet and the other was excited to play Uno with us. Before we went over, we went dooring across the street. We got to the next apartment building and I'm up to klingel, so I say a prayer before beginning and the first doorbell I click turns out to be a past investigator of the Elders, from 6 years ago! He quickly invited us up where we talked with him a bit and were able to give him some pamphlets, because he was still curious about the church. He just got busy with school so stopped meeting with the missionaries. Those english pamphlets though, I hadn't had in my bag since the last time I got the impression to put them all in my bag, then gave them all away at Neuschwanstein. And on this day I got a feeling to again put all the English ones in my backpack, so I did. Few hours later, we meet him and he wants pamphlets! Before we went dooring, I asked Sis. LaFontaine how long it had been since it had been doored and she didn't know. Turns out its been 6 years and good thing we did it or he wouldn't have been found again. Then we had a bbq with Maili and the Elders that night.

Sunday Calvin came to Church! We gave an awesome lesson on the plan of salvation which he said afterwards it all made more sense and it gave him more hope for life after this one. We were able to answer his questions about baptism and those who don't get the chance to be baptized, and he loves that we all get so many chances in the plan to hear the gospel. That night we had a games evening with a member family. So fun! We shared a thought about the Armor of God because we played a church game called the Armor of God. It was way cool to hear what their 18 yr. old son had to say about why it's important to wear the Armor and put it on each day. I could tell his parents were very proud of the testimony they heard coming from him.

Monday we went by on a member family we haven't seen in awhile. They weren't home so we went...finding! Woo. Actually, no it really was a good day of finding. We started with a prayer, then headed off to a the first house where the girlfriend of the guy living there answered. Long story short, we gave the whole first lesson, gave a book of Mormon away and got her number. It was awesome and just pumped us up for the rest of the evening. Which included A LOT of cats.

So many random cats were walking around/following us, getting asked on a double date (this person was cool actually, we shared our beliefs in afterlife which he found interesting and gave him a pamphlet though he was kinda anti organized religion), getting yelled at by a lady with a bad leg who walked down a block just to find us and yell at us, and getting sunflowers from a selbstschneiden (cut yourself) field. Came home exhausted but feeling accomplished.

Today we went to Dachau for district pday. Very very sad and solemn place is really all I can say about it...something you have to experience yourself. Something my grandpa recently sent me relates to a spiritual aspect of what I felt at Dachau... Always remember, beloved Granddaughter, ALL is in God's hands. Our God lives. Our Father in Heaven loves us, always, no matter what. If sometimes in mortality, we are obliged to go through the most trying of times.....His vision is greater than our own.  He knows what we need;  be it good or ill.  We must trust in Him, have Faith, be submissive, be obedient.....and take joy in every small thing that we can bear to see or hear or feel;   for it IS a world that is "glorious, and beautiful to behold" Love you all and I'll let you know about transfer calls that come in this saturday! Mit freundlichen Grüßen, Sister Campbell

[bitchflicksreviewbyalanna-blog]

ABC’S “Fresh Off the Boat” and the Masculinity of Asian Men

 I identify as an Asian-American woman. I am the eldest daughter of first generation immigrants, which means I am the first in my family to be born and raised in “The Greatest Country on Earth”: The United States of America. Growing up, not only have I been told to go back to go back to my own county, spat on, bowed to with a “Konnichiwa”, and have been fetishized to be your sexy oriental schoolgirl because I am Asian but I have been cat-called, told to put on more clothes, told to wear less make-up, and told I am too stupid and deemed too incompetent for a task because I am a young woman. Yeah, I know. It’s AS IF I didn’t already have it hard enough from my *Asian* parents and their *Asian* expectations.

Anyways, you get it. I’m Asian and I’m a woman. And although I consider myself lucky to be so privileged, life is tough and I could go on and on about my experiences growing up in America. But enough of me because I’m here to talk about Asian men.

The only two Asian male role models I had growing up were my dad and (yes, you guessed it) my very own grandpa. Why is this you may ask? Well, when you picture your standard male superhero or lead role superstar hunk, who do you see? Not too many Asians? Well, don’t worry. That’s not your fault. As we all may know from media, Asian men are either oriental foreigners who have micro-penises or are super geeky nerds who have absolutely zero game with chicks or all the above. Because of this, Asian men have rarely ever been the ideal type of guy a girl would want to date. This exact factor is predominantly why many of my Asian male friends have had self-esteem issues from never being “good enough” in the eyes of their love interests.

Thus, from these stereotypes and generalizations, one fact stands strong amongst the Asian-American community: Asians are misrepresented and underrepresented in Hollywood. We are known as the socially awkward Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles and as Me Love You Long Time from Full Metal Jacket. We have had white individuals being cast for roles meant to be played by Asians and have had predominantly white individuals paint themselves to represent an Asian character. Slowly, however, the Long Duk Dong mentally is changing and the film industries are tackling social justice issues head on.

I essentially wanted to bring all of this up because I recently started watching ABC Channel’s Fresh Off the Boat, a sitcom based off writer Eddie Huang’s memoir about him and his Chinese family’s experience with moving to suburban Orlando, Florida. When this show initially came out in 2015, I was completely psyched out. It was the first time I’ve ever seen so many Asians together on one American TV show. Finally, we were being represented. For the first time, I even thought I had a chance at Hollywood.  

To get a better idea about the vibes of the show, here is the trailer:

I remember watching the first two episodes on TV when they first aired on ABC with my dad. Personally, I thought they were wonderfully constructed because of the well-written plot amd the immense level of relatability. My dad, on the other hand, thought differently. My dad is in his late 50s and lived in America for about 30 years now. I’ve heard quite the fair share of stories about racism and acts of prejudice geared towards my dad because of the way he looks. Therefore, he felt that the show only highlighted the discriminatory remarks and that “some things are better left unsaid”. I, of course, tried explaining to him that Asians have always been the silent minority and that if we never say anything, nothing will ever change. We can’t continue keeping our head in the books and being pushed around like the cliché nerd in movies who gets forced to do someone’s homework “or else” (he meets a fist). I truly thought Eddie Huang had created the start of something for us. But by no means is this show perfect, especially when the executive producers continued to produce a show that was entirely different from Huang’s original vision.

In Season 1, Episode 3, “The Shunning”, young Eddie Huang is desperate to fit in with the popular white American boys at school. Not only does he get ridiculed for bringing Chinese cuisine to lunch, but he also struggles to gain popularity to make friends and impress the girls. Accepting the fact that he is unable to afford a pair of Jordan sneakers, he comes up with a new idea to integrate himself into the cliques at school and “change the way the kids at school saw” him. 

Here’s a clip from the episode that I will be viewing through a hegemonic masculinity lens: 

Eddie’s role model and inspiration for his version of ideal masculinity isn’t his own father, but it is Ol’ DB. Ol’ DB is Eddie’s adored rapper whose lifestyle of fame, fortune, and access to limitless women inspires Eddie to be just like him in order to fit in with the other boys at school. In Eddie’s fantasy, he imagines himself in one of Ol’ DB’s rap videos. There’s cash flying everywhere, expensive cars and jewelry, and women—a ton of women dancing seductively and wearing revealing clothing. The moment an attractive black woman steps out of a car, Eddie has quite the epiphany: “That’s it. A hot girl was the ultimate status symbol”. In order to gain a higher status of masculinity, he suddenly alters his idea of women. No longer are they seen as women, but they are now considered “symbols” and objects because even if he didn’t have Jordans, as long as he had a “fine shorty on [his] arm”, nothing else would matter.

According to our MACS 356 lectures on Normative Masculinity, Eddie’s fantasy would fall under the umbrella of “toxic masculinity”, which to reiterate, does not mean that men are toxic. Instead, toxic masculinity is the idea that society has these expectations as to how “real men” should or should not behave. Because emasculation is a huge no-no when it comes to being a “real man”, Eddie’s fantasy portrays women as just objects, using them to gain popularity amongst the white boys at school. Without even realizing it, young Eddie put women in a lower hierarchy than men, which would make it easy to manipulate women if he were rich and powerful like Ol’ DB. He created a totem pole mentality where men are superior to women and thus, being a man and impressing his white male friends at school doesn’t seem as hard anymore when he has the ladies wrapped around his fingers.

However, male privilege is not just based on gender and it is especially clear in Eddie’s case in this single episode. When examining male privilege, the idea of intersectionality plays a huge role in a man’s rise to success. In this episode, Eddie’s gender is not the only thing that keeps him from fitting in. Like I mentioned earlier, Eddie gets shunned at the lunch table for eating Chinese food prepared by his parents. When he pulls out his noodle lunch, the boys around the table cover their noses and exclaim, “Ew what is that?”, “Get that outta here”, and “Ying Ming is eating worms!” This ends up in him announcing to his family at the dinner table: “I need white people lunch”. This is an example of a concept known as “white-washing”. White-washing is essentially this belief that an individual is willing to neglect and abandon their culture to assimilate to white, western culture. Eddie felt the strong urgency to “white-wash” himself after his bad lunch experience because he wanted to completely get rid of his Chinese roots by removing a huge part of what makes a culture unique: one’s cuisine. 

If we had more movies and TV shows with Asian male lead roles, perhaps white washing and Asian male insecurity wouldn’t be such an issue. Eddie’s experience of being rejected at the lunch table because of his Chinese meal is not unheard of. In fact, it even happened to me when I attended a predominantly white suburban high school. In my freshman year of high school, there was a boy who teased me for a whole week by asking me if I liked the dog meat I ate at lunch. He didn’t stop teasing me until I finally mustered enough courage to call him out on his ignorance.

I believe that ignorance is more likely to occur when there is not enough proper exposure and education of different cultures. If we had more Asian lead roles in general, people wouldn’t stereotypically view us as just “chinks” who are good at math. Asian male representation is needed not only for young Asian boys, but for young Asian girls to realize that the men in their lives aren’t just men who get pushed around and bullied. If I had the examples of strong Asian male lead roles (Steven Yuen from “The Walking Dead”, Aziz Ansari from “Master of None”, and Vincent Rodriguez III from “My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) that we have today, I probably would have had more courage to stand up for myself as a young girl against racist remarks from my American peers. Now, I can only have the hope that Hollywood and media industries will continue to develop dynamic character roles for the Asian population and hire more Asian actors to fill their lead roles for future generations of Asian-Americans to look up to. 

If you enjoyed reading my post about Asian male representation in Hollywood, take a look at http://starringjohncho.com/. John Cho is a Korean-American actor best known for his role as Harold Lee in the Harold & Kumar films. On his website, Starring John Cho, he raises awareness about the lack of Asian representation in film and brings the “vision of tomorrow’s Hollywood to today”.