#my B doesn’t have a mouth tho so idk how that’ll work

[artificialcaretaker]

There’s no fucking way I got into school mandated classic lit yaoi again why the fuck does this keep happening……

[Literally praying that we read page 222 in class I need to see everyone’s reaction to that.

Also, Bromden is literally me. Bro will start talkin about his paranoid delusions and how the Shadow Government is controlling him and I’ll be like “ONG TWIN 🫡🫡🫡”

That may or may not have some implications on my current mental health status.

ALSO also, I finally changed my signature. I no longer want to be associated with the same thing I used to mark the yaoi hentai I drew in middle school. That ain’t me. I’m a changed man. Like hell I’ll ever find it again but the important thing is that I’m moving on.

[alias-b]

Idk if you're done this already but you did it for your other couples, can we get a nsfw alphabet for Billy and Evie? Pretty pretty please💘

Oh my gosh!! You’re right, I haven’t done one for them!! Well let’s fix that right now, shall we?? And I’ll try to make it different from the Billy/Cam one but Billy is still Billy lol Okay! So here goes.

Dirty Alphabet for Billy Hargrove and Evie Fenny! My lovely plus size oc xoxo Thank you so much for asking!! 📌💝🍓💝

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

   Evie isn’t used to being touched so abrasively and Billy is the overstimulation king!! She might get a little shy in the lazy post-sex haze as everything sets in, but they’ll sorta of curl into each other and cling bc they’re both super overwhelmed and unable to look at each other sometimes.

   She tries to hold Billy a lot and it takes him some getting used to bc he’s conditioned to sexual and violent touch only. Billy is a Super Tease and will run his fingertips and mouth over her skin bc his girl is Extra Sensitive and he loves the way she whines and shivers and squirms. Chances are he’ll try to initiate another round.😘

   After being together a bit, it’ll be easier to deal with all the emotions and spoon afterward tho! Evie will start to cover his face, neck, and chest in kisses and he’ll mirror it until they’re twisting together and curling up to sleep. Stage five clingers.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

   Evie’s been caught staring at Billy’s muscled thighs....a lot. So LOWKEY them. She loooooooves to straddle his big hard thigh and maybe ride it during make outs. He’s all encouragement. Also his hands are to DIE for and his sensitive neck. Prime kissy places for Evie to ravish him and it always catches him off guard.

   Billy actually has trouble choosing as he gets to know her body, he loves to just look at her and run his hands along all her soft curves and make her feel like a goddess bc she deserves it. As much as he loves being flashed, Billy is a hips/ass guy. Loves to grab her and dig his fingers into her skin and position her however he likes. Loves to also rest his cheek on her inner thigh when he’s teasing as they’re lying together. Also likes to spank and pinch her tushy anytime he likes. Esp in public she she gets all squealy and red in the cheeks.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

   Billy is so gross. We’ll start there.

   Boy will cum on her tits and lick it off and massage her flesh and gather it to make her suck it off his fingers too. He’ll eat her out after coming inside her and let her p much spit into his mouth after she blows him.

He does not give a Fuck. Also seeing his cum leak out of her when she’s all fucked out and wet and puffy...that’s hot. He will cum on anything and he wants to blow his load on her tits so bad. He also doesn’t like to wash his hands after fingering her and will spend time after just licking his digits clean. He grOSS.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

  Evie thinks about Billy fucking her in public places a lot when they’re out and about and she will NEVER admit to how much she thinks about sex with him even in their early days when they quarreled lol

   Billy doesn’t keep a lot of dirty secrets bc he’s just gonna tell Evie his every depraved thought. But!! He wants to make nasty porn with her so bad. Photos esp so he can keep her in a little box in his dresser maybe with something she wore once that was lacy. He wants pics of her in lingerie. Naked. Spread. Fucked. Every which way. The boy will pay for it.

   ***Also.....he has a couple explicit fantasies he doesn’t share.... One having to do with just gross “i caught you, now I get to fuck you as hard as I want” sex between them. Another and the bigger one...I think he fantasized once about her pegging him.....and being dominating him super hard by Evie. He wants to be bratty af and have her to step on him basically.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

   Billy has Mucho Experience. Almost too much to the point of he has to work harder to figure out what Evie likes and get out of his head lmao Evie has had a few past relationships and she likes sex and is getting more comfortable with it so there isn’t a huge difference!!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

   Billy likes to be on top bc he’s such a show off. He doesn’t know this about Evie yet but....she also wants to be on top bc she’s a control freak. So that’ll be funny when they actually get down to bizness. But, I think Billy later learns quick that watching her ride him is so hot. Gripping her hips and bucking to meet her and sitting up to bit her neck or suck titty. Ooohh, he’ll adore it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

   They laugh a lot!! In heated moments of emotion, they’ll go quiet and serious, but Billy and Evie both like to have fun during sex. They like to joke and roll around. Billy is a pornstar who NEVER shuts up so he’s spinning dirty lines and she’ll roast him for it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

   Carpet and drapes match! Billy is expertly groomed and trimmed nicely. He looked pretty and golden and immaculate down there. Annoying. Evie actually does some trimming and what not to look cleaner down there, but she’s hairier than him and he doesn’t mind! They’re both all about hygiene and perfumes and lotions and oils so they’re p fresh all the time. Although, I’m p sure Evie will complain when she blows him and tastes his cologne and tells him to ease up on that lmao

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

   Billy is superrr into body worship which just gives Evie crazy whiplash. He takes time to marvel at her and appreciate her and she’s NOT used to that and gets super blushy and almost can’t look at him. Being a bigger girl, she’s still on that self comfort journey and he’s happy to assist! He’s super grabby and touchy and they both are all about kissing everywhereee.

   On Evie’s end, she gets so soft with him and he’s overwhelmed a lot by that. Her kissing his wrists and cheeks and holding him. Massaging him and running her fingers down his back. Billy really needs time to get used to it and she’s fine with that.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

   Hell yeah. They actually love to watch each other get off. Phone sex was the tip of the iceberg. Although, Billy does say that if he had it his way, she wouldn’t get herself off and instead she’d come to him and let him make her come when she wants it. Possessive boi.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

   It startles her at first, but Evie looooves when Billy picks her up and drags her all over the bed. She didn’t think he could and he took that as a dare to heart and he lifts more and she feels his muscles BULGE and loves it. Watching him work out super turns her on and they usually end up having gross sex before he can finish if she’s there to watch. Which Billy loves being watched by her xx He’s gonna eat her out on that weight bench too, mark my words.

   He also, as mentioned before, has a Super praise kink. He’s goal is to make Evie louder in bed. He wants her to talk too & maybe order him around a bit. He loves being on his knees, pushing her skirt up, holding her thighs in place before he starts to teasingly eat her while she still as her panties on. Also bonus points if they’re being sexual and teasy in a public or semi public spot.

   Also Billy wants to fuck her tits so bad. I said it sorta before, but I’m saying it againnnn.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

   Billy: Anywhere. Literally anywhere. I don’t give a Fuck. 💦

   Evie gets more adventurous with him, but she likes just being in an empty house so they can be loud. Lowkey, I think Billy enjoys the thrill of someone being home bc it’s cute watching Evie try to be quiet while he pleasures her. He might help her out by stuffing his fingers in her mouth *wink wink*

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

   Billy is always revved up tbh. Seeing Evie do anything, he can make it sexual. It’s the Brain Sex Rot. Evie starts to feel it in the air if he keeps just looking intently at her. They eye fuck a lot.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

   Evie is okay with being held down but no like ropes or anything. Neither will be spanked by belts. Hands only. Billy will never hit her in the face too and she wouldn’t be into that either. Also Evie’s never ever gonna be into food play, it’d make her wildly uncomfortable.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

   Billy already rubbing his hands together planning his tongue’s assault on Evie’s clit. He is shamelessly and proudly into giving oral and will spend all the time he needs down there making her his. Billy’s “get what he wants move” usually starts with kissing up her thigh and then some. 👅 Finally, for him, he wants Evie to sit on his face so bad, it’ll take some time to get there tho

   Evie mentioned this, but she actually really likes to give skilled head. They both are hair pullers so that works too. xx Evie wants to hold his hips and kiss his pretty thighs and let him fuck her mouth against something. Billy’s so sweet to about it, always making sure she’s comfortable, praising her, and kissing her after with tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

  I think this just depends on the mood!! More likely to be fast and rough. When they get slow and sensual, emotions spike and overwhelm and sometimes that’s just too much to handle.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

   Evie isn’t the biggest fan of quickies bc she likes to be able to relax and clean up properly afterward. Billy disagrees bc he’s a dirty little dick pig and he’ll take her to pound town any hour of the day. 💞

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

   Oh, they deffo will take risks and experiment!! They’re young and horny and super into each other. Go raw.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

   Billy has some wild stamina that Evie doesn’t always match. With his coaxing and encouragement, she might be able to go a couple rounds. But, I think Evie wants like crazy foreplay and then one amazing sex round and then cuddling. Whereas Billy can have his insatiable nights and try to work a couple climaxes out of her. However he wont push and this works out fine bc they can also wake each other up with sex during the night too!! 😉

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

   Evie and Heather deffo bought toys together and used them and called each other after like “girl hfjhkejr!!!” lmao. Billy prefers to just be the toy himself bc of his Boy Pride. I think Spencers will be a fav store of my teens when Starcourt opens....... But, Billy would like to use toys on Evie like he’s performing an exorcism and I mentioned this but......someone peg this bratty boy.....

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

   Billy Hargrove is such a shit. He’s constantly trying to tease is pretty plush gf, but I think he underestimates how hard she can match him so they’ll end the night tearing each other up.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

   Evie always tries not to make too much sound, until Billy makes it his mission to stop all of that. He’s pornographically loud and longs for Evie to match that. If he can get her to cry out while she’s holding back...that makes him V Happy.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

   Evie likes lingerie and cute matching undergarments even if no one sees it. She likes feeling the lace under her clothes and that naughty thrill like she has a secret. She’s a big girl and she dresses for HERSELF. Also, I’ve done this before.....leaving lipstick kisses on Billy’s clothing and skin. He does not try to wash it off lmao he adores being marked by his gf. Lastly, Billy is totally a biter and he wants to sink his teeth into her chest and ass so bad.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

   Imma just leave this here bc Billy is mad fat and he knows it and he walks around like he is so everyone else knows it.

   Evie’s so shy at first with him, bc he looks like Apollo and he hasn’t been with a big girl and she has boobs and tummy and thighs and love handles and she gets worried about angles but Billy is so keen to touch her, that a lot of her fears melt away.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

   Big Huge. They’re nasty. Evie is not exempt from this bc she is as bad as him even if she pretends like she isn’t. Girls can be dick pigs too just as much as boys and she is NOT that stereotype fat girls often get being a super shy virgin type.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

   Unless they’ve been going a long time, they both actually stay up for a bit after. ((I think they both just have sleep issues anyways.)) Either spooning or talking or getting up to finish the day lol but they really enjoy lying there together and fighting to stay awake so they can chat and enjoy each other’s company before falling asleep all cozy and secure. That’s what they really get out of each other is security. 💘💘💘 

**This was so much fun!!! And I’m always happy to take horny asks or requests for Billy & Evie. You never know what I can put into the fic or what I can make a smutty one shot out of. Thank you!!!

[keyofshadows]

@akingdomtheorist

So! Ridiculous conversation that’s gonna strike me as funny for the next week, probably. Which I could definitely use, but whatever. Thought I’d amuse you with it since your cupcake started it, lol.

keyofshadows Tomorrow's Eli's birthday. Confetti for all.

akingdomtheorist Adion will make him a cupcake

keyofshadows Awe. He'd be touched. And Adion would get a hug. Also one of those pointy birthday hats.

akingdomtheorist What if the cupcake was shaped like a pointy birthday hat

keyofshadows Pfffff he'd demand to know if the dragon was conspiring with his mom. She used to sew him a replica of Yen Sid's hat every few years and make him wear it on his birthday while she took pictures. From his literal 'I'm twenty minutes old' birthday until he was eighteen. IS THIS POINTY BIRTHDAY HAT CAKE A REFERENCE TO HIS HAT NEMESIS

sstingray yen sid knows about the hats

keyofshadows Is he amused or shaking his head because what is wrong with these people

sstingray secretly amused but won't show it is my wager

keyofshadows I wonder how much Eli was complaining under his breath about it during his lovely summer of responsibility training also I wonder how many dirty looks he was giving Yen Sid's hat while the man was wearing it because whoops

sstingray the master probably noticed it and said something to him eventually.

keyofshadows lmao. "It's not you Sir, honest! It's just...uh...nothing, actually, never mind, I'm supposed to be mopping or something, better get back to that." /slinks off because oh my god, explaining to Yen Sid about the Hat when he has no idea he already knows, pfff. Poor Eli.

sstingray not pictured: ray in the background trying really hard not to laugh

keyofshadows Oh sure, enjoy your amusement now, he'll get you back for it. Someday. Somehow. Maybe. She can babysit his eventual demonspawn, that'll do it. ...Which would be more of a punishment to the kids, actually.

sstingray and she'll get just as much fun out of that as she did watching him

keyofshadows Okay, we totally know what we're doing with Auryn when he misbehaves. Off to aunt Ray's for a pop quiz!

sstingray secretly gives him cookies when they're not looking

keyofshadows Ray's gonna end up with a kid that mouths off just to be sent for 'punishment', you know. Though he'll be more of an actual pain in the ass as a teenager. Amelia says don't worry about that, she and Nico will knock him into shape. With his own Keyblade, if necessary.

sstingray but eli she is not a tool to punish your children with! gosh!!

sstingray well if he misbehaves TOO badly he'll still learn not to cross her

keyofshadows The Grasshopper knows this. But really, it's Date Night and he and Specter really wanted to have some quiet movie time that didn't involve Auryn yelling in the background from upstairs. I should probably feel bad for Ray having to deal with the next generation of troublemakers, but nope. Too busy snickering.

sstingray it's fine they'll watch a movie that eli doesn't want him to see

keyofshadows Which would probably be anything with drunk elephants. Dumbo is Evil. So is Bambi, but for completely different reasons.

sstingray well. if auryn is up for it...

keyofshadows This is Eli's punk firstborn, of course he is.

sstingray welp. pink elephants on parade it is!

keyofshadows And Ray then gets to field ALL the questions, like how can elephants get drunk, and why isn't HE even allowed more than a can of soda a day if whatever Dumbo had was worse - wait, was that elephant beer? Or did he drink funny water? And if he drinks too much soda is he gonna see pink elephants too? Is THAT why he's not allowed too much? Can he have a few cans and find out?

sstingray fermentation is a terrible thing, you're too young kid, maybe idk but i saw this video once of elephants eating fermented fruits and getting totally trashed, honestly who even knows anymore, no, no it's because you'll get a sugar high and it's also terrible for your health, and no

keyofshadows He is completely unhappy with all of these answers, he'll have you know. Except the trashed elephant video, he wants to see that. BUT. He's gonna complain to Nico first (who will tell him to Listen To Aunt Ray She Knows More Than Them) and then he'll go home and whine at his dad BECAUSE AUNT RAY IS BEING UNFAIR FIX THIS

keyofshadows Eli just snickering and yeah, no, you have no idea of the meaning of 'unfair' when it comes to her, short stuff, sorry.

sstingray eli's probably like "that's what she does there is nothing i can do"

keyofshadows Nor does he wish to try, he's too old for another Darkside/Twilight Thorn/Who Knows What That Is pop quiz. He has kids now! (He's never too old, lmao. Kai'll boot him over for laughs.)

sstingray in which kai accidentally initiates a game of corridor ping pong with eli as the ball

keyofshadows Pfff. Kai says he thought he was going to get into trouble for booting the Epic Dork through Corridors, or does that only count when he's kicking him into the Maw?

sstingray nnnnno he'll probably be in trouble for it later but aunt ray has a life too you know she can't deal with your antics all the time!! there are seas to be sailed! treasures to be found! magics to learn!

keyofshadows Good, then can she take Soren with, he needs a way to deal with him this week that A - Does not involve setting his sneakers on fire AGAIN and B - Keeps Ro from rescuing him. Little brother gets seasick, little brother won't be warping over to pick him up. ...The maturity is astounding.

sstingray just for that she'll kick kai into the ocean

keyofshadows This is punishment how? He can swim. Also will probably open a Corridor and drop into it before he hits the water because he's a little shit.

sstingray either way he's off her ship so she'll count it as a win

sstingray not if she kicks him into her own portal and drops him right above the water

keyofshadows This is how you make enemies, Ray. (lmao, as if he'd do more than sulk for a few days before showing up again to get cookies/ask a favor/see what she thinks is a good present for Ro's birthday)

sstingray puhlease she'll take kai on pirate adventures someday

keyofshadows Do we really want a Keyblade wielder pretending to be a pirate. Or even just on the ship for longer than thirty seconds. (Yes.)

sstingray um duh?? how fun could that be

keyofshadows Kai's pointing out it should be Keyblade MASTER by that time, get it right. This from Mr. 'There's no way I'd ever be that good' who eventually is because whoops, Auryn's training is filled with fetching the chips Mastery Exams. I didn't know that traumatizing was another word for fun.

sstingray isn't that the epitome of everyone's time with their favorite aunt

keyofshadows There was just a resounding 'YES', so.

sstingray well there you go!

keyofshadows /snicker

keyofshadows The pirate thing is gonna turn into tradition, just like Ray taking on Eli as an apprentice started that ball rolling for him. She should pop on by one of the rabbit holes of Wanderer's Refuge again and see if she can land anywhere near Fen's time again. Be greeted by a slightly older (no more than 18, probably) Az, who happily informs her about how she's 'retraining' Celia's apprentice Seth, much to her dad's horror. Probably much to Ray's too, lol. 'Wait, wasn't he the boy that kept going creeper on you? That you hated? WHAT ARE YOU DOING'

sstingray no no its not a bad thing retraining is good

sstingray show him the light girl you go though lol god forbid ray ever have kids and they get mixed up with eli's family that's just gonna be chaos everywhere

keyofshadows Fen asks Ray to PLEASE not encourage his baby, he doesn't like Seth, he doesn't trust him, how does he know he's not going back to Celia and telling her things AZ IS NOT READY FOR THIS STUFF. OMG

sstingray also how would even feel about ray showing up again Oh welp

keyofshadows SO MUCH CHAOS.

sstingray that's the thing about light fen, sometimes you just gotta trust someone

keyofshadows Also no one minds Ray's random drop-ins, she's the Refs boogieman, after all.

sstingray and maybe put a tracker on them u know whatever works

keyofshadows He refuses to trust Seth, he's a little shit.

sstingray excellent her legend will live on

keyofshadows Az'll threaten her kids with Ray popping out of nowhere, just for the entertainment value.

sstingray I have a feeling her hypothetical family would get on great in the chaos tho lmao az can be like IT HAPPENS. A LOT ACTUALLY. we should probably do something about that

keyofshadows Just like how she's naming her firstborn son Jalen, also for the entertainment value. She can hear the grumping from the original through the rabbit hole, lmfao.

sstingray listen ray never asked to be an accidental time traveler it's weird ok

keyofshadows Also hilarious

sstingray she'll be sure to tell Jalen that when she gets back

keyofshadows The kid's gonna be the bounciest, most cheerful baby ever. /cackle

sstingray Oh how delightful!

keyofshadows Az thinks so~

keyofshadows Fen's twitching now because apparently Az is over her crush on Leo and he'd actually rather she go drool over the grease-covered boy Not From Here as opposed to the direction she's looking in. /facepalm

sstingray he could always come back :v

keyofshadows Imagine Fen trying to convince Leo to distract his daughter from the weirdo she's currently 'retraining'. For her own good, of course, not his nerves. /dies

sstingray leo is like whoa that is none of my business dude. slowly backs away.

keyofshadows Az is just smirking. Ha ha dad. But hey, nice to see you Leo, still eating sandwiches out of that toolbelt of yours? Somebody made rice krispy treats if he wants any.

sstingray great now that he gets to see her again, yes, and y e s where can find them?!

keyofshadows lol. Just opens a Light corridor and hands him a whole plateful.

sstingray !!! did he ever tell her he loves her cause he totally does

keyofshadows OH GOOD WAY TO START OFF THE AWKWARD BLUSHING LEO THANKS

sstingray thumbs up!!

keyofshadows Fen's trying not to applaud. Go away, you, quit trying to influence things. His wife would swat him.