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kenjakusbrainstem · 1 year ago

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Examination (Kenjaku x Reader)

Contains: Medical kink, gynecology exam gone sexual, vaginal fingering, Kenjaku as a doctor, dubious consent.

Hello~ Day 12 of kinktober was Medical play, and I have this running fantasy for a few years that goes along this similar vein. Though I've subbed Kenjaku in for the character I normally imagine in this scenario, it's surprisingly fitting for him, don't you think? Crossposted to Ao3 under the same name and shared to twt at kenjakusbrain, comment or reblog if you have anything to say!

You felt uncomfortable as you sat in the examination room. It had been some time since you had visited a gynecologist, as sexual health wasn’t quite at the top of your concern list. It had been some time since you last had a sexual partner, and even then it wasn’t something you looked forward to. That was, in part, the reason for your visit. You had some questions that you wanted to ask, just to make sure there wasn’t something wrong with you.

Along with also being new in the area and going to a new doctor, you wanted to start completely over with this move. Part of that involved making sure you were healthy, so getting back into the yearly exam was just another part of your to do list.

It had been about ten minutes since the nurse had excused herself to allow you to undress and go alert the doctor. The gown you put on made you feel exposed, as you had trouble closing it in the back, leaving a chill to take over your body. You glanced around the room anxiously, hoping that you’d have the courage to ask your questions in a succinct manner.

The sound of the door opening made you jump. You turned to greet the doctor but your voice caught in your throat. He looked very different than you had expected, though you weren’t entirely sure what you expected from a doctor you had known nothing about.

The man was tall, his long dark hair pulled out of his face into a bun but the majority of it still cascaded down his back. His button up shirt looked like it was almost too tight for him, the lab coat he wore over it doing very little to conceal his bulky frame. You almost missed the small line on his forehead, choosing to ignore it as it wasn’t your place to ask about a wound on a doctor, but somehow it seemed to add to his features in such a way that made him more handsome. This doctor was easily the most attractive man you’d ever seen outside of television.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Doctor Kamo, but my patients usually refer to me as Kenjaku. I will be conducting your exam today. Is there any specific reason for your visit?” The doctor, Kenjaku, asked, it seemed he was more of a straight to business man instead of the kind that apologizes for making you wait so long. You didn’t mind though, somehow you were both reassured by his presence and made self conscious by his appearance.

The thought of having someone this attractive touch you, wasn’t something you were ready for. Gathering your wits about you, you let out a breath you hadn’t known you were holding.

“N-not really, I’m mostly just here for an annual exam,” You forced the words out, suddenly too afraid to ask the other questions that had brought you here. Perhaps you could find another doctor to go to with those questions, some old woman that didn’t make you feel strange.

Kenjaku observed you as he began to get ready, washing his hands and putting on some gloves while studying your medical records that had been pulled up on the computer in the room.

“‘Mostly’ sounds like you have other things to say, I won’t press you, but I can’t look for things I’m unaware of,” Kenjaku said as he sat down in front of you. His words weren’t too cold, but they offered little comfort beyond not being forced to answer questions. “Your chart mentions that you aren’t sexually active, is that a choice or is that the nature of the question you don’t have?”

You blinked at the doctor, it surprised you to be read so easily. You know you mentioned that when filling out your paperwork, but you hadn’t expected it to be brought up. Especially not in this way, he mentioned not pressing, but immediately moved into asking more invasive questions. Still Kenjaku’s tone was nothing but clinical, it was his job to make sense of things like this. You probably weren’t the only person he had to pull answers out of.

“I’ve had sex before but it just seems like there isn’t a point to it,” You answered honestly. You were interested in sex, you just didn’t understand what was so enjoyable. There was no urge to have children, all of your previous partners made sex feel like you were there for them to use and move along from. It felt more like something you did for someone else and less like something you felt pleasure in.

Kenjaku nodded, observing you more as you spoke. You felt that somehow he was reading between the things you were saying, not that you’d even said much. It was the way he stared at you, like you were to be studied and not helped.

“Interesting, low sex drive or something else? Low drive can be normal with other factors, if that is the issue. You’re a little too young for some things that can lead to difficulties with sex, have you had any problems that I should look for in my exam?” Kenjaku looked into your eyes as he spoke, his questions making your stomach turn with anxiety.

The question you had intended to ask floated to the forefront of your mind, a faint blush appearing on your cheeks. Averting your eyes you studied the wall behind him for a moment. What was the worst thing that could happen? If you got too embarrassed you could just never come back here.

He seemed like a thorough doctor, even if he were a bit eccentric, he probably could help you in some way. At the very least he could make sure there was nothing inherently wrong with you for the issues you’d been having.

“Well, and please don’t laugh, I don’t have sex because I can’t reach orgasm. Partners have tried and it usually just turns into me faking a reaction and waiting for them to finish. So I gave up, it’s too much of a hassle to try and keep up appearances and no one wants a woman that doesn’t put out,” You explained, looking down in shame. You knew it wasn’t an intentional failing, but you couldn’t help but feel like there had to be something wrong with you.

Kenjaku didn’t laugh, but you could see a glimmer in his eye that made your stomach drop.

“That is more common than you realize. If you don’t have anything else I should know about, please place your feet in the stirrups,” Kenjaku’s acknowledgement felt like it should have been reassuring, but it wasn’t somehow. It was hard for you to find comfort from a man as attractive as him knowing what was about to happen.

The smile that was plastered on Kenjaku’s face felt like it should have been genuine, but there was something off. Even ignoring the strange stitching on his forehead, his handsome features didn’t show anything suspicious.

Doing as you were told you placed your bare feet in the hooks at the end of the bed, adjusting your position. The gown covered you in a way that allowed you to only see the top of Kenjaku’s head, the dark bun in his hair and the stitches you were fixated on. It was probably better that way, the last thing you needed to see was his face as he examined you.

The cold air against your pussy made you shiver, goosebumps forming on your arms in response. Even colder were the gloved hands Kenjaku touched your labia with. The fingers hadn’t startled you, but much to your embarrassment you did feel yourself clench around nothing as he examined you from the outside.

The doctor was being thorough, perhaps too thorough, but it had been so long since you’d done one of these exams you weren’t quite sure what was called for. Kenjaku seemed clinical enough, fingers not lingering, the touch wasn’t sensual at all.

“Things seem to be normal, even your self lubrication seems to be adequate for sexual intercourse. Now hold still, this may pinch a little,” Kenjaku said matter of factly. You watched the bun on top of his head disappear as he leaned back to grab a tool off of the tray he had nearby.

Other than the spoken warning, he didn’t hesitate inserting the speculum inside of you. It was cold, filling you up and spreading you open for him. A small pained noise left your throat, though you did try to keep quiet. You thought you could hear a small chuckle, but it was so quiet you doubted it had even happened.

There was a pause, Kenjaku hadn’t moved and you were trying to avoid squirming, hoping your discomfort wasn’t too obvious. You felt a gloved hand rest on the apex of your thigh, as if to hold you still. Though his hands had felt cold at first, now they felt warm on your skin even through the latex. It was almost comforting.

The sound of paper tearing brought you back to paying attention. You wondered what it could be, until you felt the discomfort of having a cotton swab shoved inside of you. Once it had been removed you waited for the speculum to be removed too, but nothing happened. You wondered if he was going to swab for something else, or look for something else inside of you perhaps.

Before your thought could fully form, you felt his thumb on your clit, not stimulating, just resting there. You froze, unsure if he was just being thorough or if something strange was happening.

“I’m going to run some extra tests. Everything seems in line, you don’t seem to be missing anything in the areas most sensitive, you should be able to achieve orgasm. So long as you have a competent partner,” Kenjaku’s voice retained the same clinical tone he had been using thus far.

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before his thumb began moving in slow circles around your clit. Your hand flew to your mouth, covering it to prevent any sounds from coming out. You couldn’t deny that it felt nice, the latex felt even more foreign than his hand.

Kenjaku watched as you clenched around the speculum that still held you open. The stimulation was so sudden and unexpected, you didn’t know what to do. When you were mulling over asking about orgasming, this had never occurred to you.

As quickly as it entered you, Kenjaku disengaged and removed the speculum from your body. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing, glad that it was gone but almost missing the fullness.

The speed of Kenjaku’s thumb on your clit increased, the sensitive bud very receptive to his touch. It felt like electricity shooting through you, the pleasure was indescribable. You had never spent much time trying anything other than penetrative sex, so this was completely new to you. It hadn’t occurred to you to try something like this for yourself, choosing to assume all sex was the same.

Part of you wanted to express that thought to Kenjaku, that it was just something you had been unaware of and there was no need to continue. What stopped you was the feeling of two thick, gloved fingers entering your tight hole.

It didn’t hurt, especially since he had just removed a tool meant to spread you open, but it did feel big. Kenjaku’s hands were large, something you hadn’t noticed until his fingers were buried inside of you. Instead of thrusting as you had expected, they prodded about, as if he were searching for something.

You opened your mouth to speak, to tell him that he didn’t need to do this, but your words caught in your throat as his fingers brushed up against a bundle of nerves inside you. Hand clamping back over your mouth, you bit into your fingers, using all of your focus to keep the sounds in.

Kenjaku didn’t pull his fingers out after making his discovery, choosing instead to rub against the spot inside of you, making your thighs shake. You could feel just how wet you were getting, the squishing sound of his fingers in your pussy the only thing that filled the room other than the ones you made.

“It seems like you shouldn’t have trouble reaching orgasm now. The only trouble you’d had was just not having an attentive partner, don’t worry though, I’ll make sure to guide you through this one,” Kenjaku said, his clinical voice somehow had become arousing to you. You weren’t sure if it was just the state he had you in or if he had intended to have this affect on you.

A whine left your lips as his hand left your clit, desperate for the attention he’d been giving you. The hand instead pushed up your gown, making it so he could see your face.

You also now could see Kenjaku, nestled between your thighs with his fingers buried inside of you. Never had you thought you’d have a man so handsome like this. Even if you were just another exam to him, you knew you’d never forget the sight of him like this.

Kenjaku winked at you before lowering his face, tongue teasingly licking at your sensitive clit. You had to bite harder into your hand to keep your sounds in. Everything already felt too overwhelming, but his warm tongue lavishing your clit with attention was beyond anything you thought a person could feel.

The sight of him sucking at your clit was something you wanted burned into your mind. A strand of dark hair loose, tickling the strangely attractive stitches on his face. Kenjaku’s eyes, staring up and into yours as he took your clit fully into his mouth and sucked. It was too much, you wanted to look away but his eyes held you still somehow.

His fingers hadn’t stopped rubbing the sensitive spot inside of you, they had moved onto pressing against it. Hand shallowly thrusting directly into the nerves, making your body quiver.

You couldn’t take it any longer, feeling something snap inside of you. Kenjaku didn’t relent as you felt your body overcome with more pleasure than you thought possible. It was as if you were drowning in the way he made you feel, his hands and mouth forcing you to experience something so intense.

As he pulled his fingers from you, you could feel yourself dripping. Kenjaku had made more of a mess of you than you ever could have expected. He sat up slowly, chin glistening with evidence of your first orgasm all over it.

“See? If you tell the doctor what you need, they may be able to fix it for you. Do you feel educated now? Or do I need to have you back for another appointment, just to make sure you’re able to achieve repeat results at home,” Kenjaku’s words were a jumbled mess to you.

Nodding, you hoped he would be willing to see you again. There was no way you would ever pass up the chance to experience something like this again.

#kenjaku #jjk x reader #kenjaku x reader #jjk smut #kenjaku jjk #kenjaku smut #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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sleepyc63 · 2 months ago

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-> warrior cats: a starless clan (finale) spoilers!

self indulgent frostdawn anthro/modern au design :D i have some thoughts for how her story would go, tho i’m not sure if i'll make this into a series (since i still need to finish the rw ones..)

extra info under cut! tw for abuse, manipulation, death of loved ones. i changed the timeline a bit, and wrote some potentially triggering topics into the story to match the dramatic events of the original. please, be careful!!

To start, i should clarify my interpretation of a modern wc au, specifically the naming system and what that changes here. 'Kits are 0-8 yrs old, 'Paws are 9-17, and warrior names are given at 18 and onward. Each name change requires the cat to graduate their level of school, so cats that are held back would be given their names later.

Frostkit would be the firstborn kit to her parents Jayclaw and Curlfeather, her siblings (Graykit, Mistkit) were born two years after her. Her father died from complications caused by cancer when she was 4. She was brought up religious and has a very strong faith in StarClan.

Frostkit was always smart, getting straight As throughout her childhood. Frostpaw became interested in medicine in her tween years, and her mother encouraged her, seeing opportunity in her kit's success.

When Frostpaw was 12, she and Curlfeather were involved in a car accident, and Curlfeather died. Frostpaw and her siblings were adopted by their grandmother, Duskfur. Frostpaw struggled with not only the grief of losing both her parents so young, but also the survivor's guilt that came with surviving the car crash.

Splashpaw, a childhood 'friend' of Frostpaw's that had continually made advances on Frostpaw when they were young, saw the opportunity to coerce the grief-stricken Frostpaw into a relationship with him. Frostpaw, lonely and desperate for some kind of affection, accepted.

Splashpaw was... awful, to say the least. Me was manipulative, obsessive, and really only used Frostpaw for validation, and eventually (if they stayed together long enough): money. Their relationship came to an end when they had a massive fight about Frostpaw going off to college in another state. He slashed Frostpaw's throat, leaving her comatose for weeks and in physical recovery for months. Frostpaw, obviously, cut all contact and Splashtail probably went to jail (idc about him he can go wherever)

Despite her setbacks, she graduated high school at the top of her class and earned her 'warrior' name: Frostdawn. She recently started college at her dream school, and she's roommates with another med student: Whistlebreeze! (and yes, they are crushing on each other. go you funky little lesbians!!)

Even if her life seems to be getting better, Frostdawn still struggles with the trauma of her childhood, as well as the physical & mental scars given by Splashtail. she's on the path to recovery, but these things take time; she's more than wiling to move on, when she's ready. in the meantime, she has a strong support system to help her on her bad days. :)

ily frostdawn <33

#warrior cats #warrior cats au #warrior cats anthro #wc anthro #a starless clan #frostpaw #wc frostpaw #frostdawn #wc frostdawn #whistlefrost #<- minor but still there!!#also in this au frostdawn IS a lesbian #yes she dated splashtail but that wasn't love #she came out as a lesbian after they broke up and is much happier #clarifying cause i’m not sure if that got across or was implied #also also in this au #yes frostdawn is still 'fixed'#why? i dunno #not rlly something i’m interested in going into detail about #but if you were curious there it is #she doesn't have her clipped ear cause i dont see why catch and release would be a thing in a modern setting lol #cw abuse #cw manipulation #cw death #cw parent death #cw car crash #cw cancer #<- being careful. lmk if i missed something i should have added #omfg i hit the tag limit. damn it i wanted to yap more </3 #wc spoilers

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zibiscusinfandoms · 11 months ago

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Aight so you guys enjoy reading show-only opinions, then I shall be giving my opinions on characters as a show-only who just watched the season finale.

Percy- my boy, he has never done anything wrong in his whole entire life, a hero fr.

Annabeth- i actually love her, she has shown the most growth out of everyone.

Grover- is a 20 year old hanging out with kids (is he 12 in satyr years?) He's cute. I think he should have a flower crown he would look magical.

Sally- literal queen. I love her relationship with Percy sm.

Poseidon- he should go back to his family and they should live happily ever after. Sally makes even pancakes blue like my dude HOW ELSE IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SHOW YOU THAT YOU SHOULD GO LIVE WITH THEM.

Zeus- i'm so angry that the actor portrayed him as someone scary and unhinged bc I was so ready to trash on him. (I'm not actually angry it was 👌🏻) Anyway he's a loser.

Hades- he's actually the only brother who is not a loser because he's the only one who doesn't have a halfblood child because he has SELF CONTROL UNLIKE SOME CERTAIN PEOPLE and also he loves his wife Persephone. <3 Seems like a reasonably unproblematic dude and he offered snacks.

Hermes- he is ✨beyond space and time✨ and they make him a delivery guy lol. Good job for caring for every single child you have and the unclaimed children.

Luke- I TRUSTED YOU. WE ALL TRUSTED YOU. Thinks Kronos will be better than Hermes when he ATE HIS CHILDREN- someone really needed to talk to him about that.

Diomedes- instant favorite, delivered the funniest scene in the whole season with Percy.

Who else is there? Uh-

Clarisse- she did nothing except for bullying my boy so she can go and reflect on herself in a room.

Ares- rude as heck. Invites 3 children to his table and doesn't offer them one single hamburger when he has a dozen, AND his hobby is to be insufferable on Twitter. Good thing Percy gave him a reality check.

#AND DO NOT FORGET TO PIRATE THE SHOW AND BOYCOTT DISNEY #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #rick riordan

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stitchzin · 6 months ago

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Sasuke The Demisexual King

I was a bit apprehensive about making this post because English is not my native language. So, apologies in advance. But thank you @kirinlady for the comment.

First of all, being demisexual has nothing to do with being gay or straight; you can be either. Another point is that you can have your headcanon; you are free to do so. But I am focusing on the canon line Kishimoto intended, which was SasuSaku from the start, according to the databooks and the novels.

There is A LOT OF CONTEXT SO GET READY.

Let's start!

In the first part of the Naruto series, Sasuke is very touch-deprived, traumatized by his family's murder by his brother, living in the house where they were killed, and self-isolating. A more correct way to describe it is to say he is touch-starved. Lack of physical touch can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

Sasuke had been without care for so long that being touched in a non-aggressive way might have given him sensory overload.

It's important to discuss these points when it comes to Sasuke's story. Naruto was also touch-deprived, but he externalized it, while Sasuke internalized it. This context aside:

A good part of the reason why people think Sasuke is gay is because he repels the touch of women and rejects flirtations from many girls. Sasuke doesn't need to feel anything towards these people, no matter their intentions. A man rejecting a girl does not make him gay, just as a girl rejecting a guy does not make her a lesbian. People have the right to their own bodies. It doesn't matter if you or many people would act differently; Sasuke is not that guy.

As I said, you can have your headcanon, but even fictional characters are people. Doubting someone's sexuality just because they don't follow a pattern says more about people in real life than about the character.

A good example is Gaara, who is clearly asexual with clear romantic feelings towards Naruto. I can see that in him more than in Sasuke. But this is my headcanon. I said Asexual no Aromantic.

Back in the series, Sasuke eventually gets more comfortable with Team 7. Kakashi respects his boundaries, Naruto is not the hugging type with him, but Sakura is another story. He can not avoid her like all the girls.

But this time is different. He sees her maturing, becoming a friend to him, and like a sister to Naruto. And this is the part where Sasuke starts to change. Seeing Sakura and Naruto's interactions makes him angry, maybe jealous. Sakura's attention was entirely his, but now it isn't, though a lot of it still is for him.

And this healthy distance makes him realize he misses her, maybe even wants her close. This brings us to the second part of being touch-deprived: What do you do when someone touches you? Mostly, he stands there or keeps his arms still. But he is not annoyed or pushing her away. He could, but he just doesn't want to.

She has such power over him that she can stop him even while he is controlled by Orochimaru's seal. He reaches for her while in pain, he gets mad when she is hurt. We all love the phase "who did this to you". He remembers her hug when he is losing control. She is that light.

They are kids at this point, but I really think he had feelings already. He wanted to protect her as a friend, and as something he did not understand. Lets not mention the blant Jealousy at adate ( =I think that's his name", and feeling powerless when Naruto saves her instead of him. But he had no time to figure out his feelings before being manipulated by Orochimaru's machinations to leave.

Even when he left, Sasuke accepted her feelings but chose to go anyway. But accepting her feelings, doesn't mean he is ready or is the time to act on them.

I have a post on their goodbye.

Now to the point of the post: Is Sasuke demisexual?

Demisexuality means being sexually attracted to someone only when you have an emotional bond with them.

The first part of the post was about 12-year-olds. This part is about 15/16-year-olds. Sasuke could have had any girl, and this is the age where most people's hormones are crazy. But he does not feel that need.

When facing Sakura for the first time, he recognizes her immediately. Sure, her hair is the same, but it has been three years. He is not attacking; he is just looking at her. It could be coldness, or it could be a boy who does not know what to do. I can't know what would have happened if they were alone. Sasuke shifts after Naruto gets there. His voice tone is different; he is not as pleased to see Naruto as he is to see her.

(there are great fics on this cenario, I would love some links because it was the SasuSaku fanfiction golden age)

This part is a more general view, but MOST demisexuals don't flirt like most people. Since it is deeply connected to emotions, there are a lot of acts of service, a lot of stares, and small touches. Much of what Sasuke shows towards Sakura and only Sakura.

And there is Karin. I dont have her, I like her. She is a great charact with great backstory if you don't agree fight me.

But Karin is very disrespectuful at the begning. Maybe that is why there was so much hate.

Sasuke pushes Karin away in a more respectful way than she behaves with him. He is not interested in that. Karin is pretty; anyone would want to be with her, but Sasuke did not because does not have feelings for her, plus she did not respect him. Even traveling with him for some time, she still did not respect his boundaries. Maybe that is why he has no warm feelings towards her. Feelings that would keep him from doing that infamous Danzo scene.

Karin did nothing to harm Sasuke, yet he harmed her because she wasn't important to him. So there were no feelings to hold him back, even a little. The once-manipulated Sasuke, this time by Obito, had no problem getting rid of her.

Yes, he was wrong. Terribly wrong, because she had helped him so many times. But the reason was that she wanted him carnally. And this does not flowrish in Sasuke.

Sakura and Sasuke are on a whole other level. Sasuke was fed up with Naruto and Kakashi because, even though Sakura also wanted him in the village, her methods to pursue him were different on his eyes. Sakura had hugged him, Sakura had begged him to stay. He had a completely different vision of her.

He attacked Naruto first.

But Sakura attacked him first, so he reacted.

I really think "losing Sakura" made him even madder. He dived even deeper into his sadness. She was that one thing he was sure about. Honestly, I think his offer was to push her away because hurting her would hurt him.

Sasuke put those feelings inside once more. But seeing her again at the war, he answers only to her. The more he tries to push her away, the stronger those feelings come. And he is always watching her. He smiles when she destroys the ground, she shakes when she calls him.

And he claims, "I have no reason to be loved by her or to love her," even if that was not what Kakashi said or asked. He said Sakura wanted to help him. Honestly, he brought up the romance card. The moments their eyes clicked, when he came to save her and succeeded, the way he once felt powerless to do as a child. So he puts her to sleep because her words would stop him.

Maybe he could take Naruto in a fight, but he could not handle Sakura's cry one more time.

Because he thinks he does not deserve her. He leaves and travels. Again, he could have had anyone at this time once more. Now a man with crimes pardoned, a respected man. Only when he was complete did he come back.

People talk about Sakura's constant "afterglow" when Sasuke is in the village. They comment that they have pillow talks, the intimacy he craves, and a person to go and call home.

Sasuke never loved another because he had already accepted Sakura's feelings at age 12. Sasuke never wanted another physically because he had wished for only one person. His desires are connected to his emotions.

Sasuke says that no matter how far they are, or how long they haven't seen each other, his feelings for Sakura will never change.

And neither have hers.

Ending with this frame because it shows what I think is the start of his feelings. Look at how beautiful she is; this is Sasuke's vision. I think Sakura is very pretty. But here, she is much prettier than normal.

He sees her as more beautiful than we do.

#sakura #sasuke #naruto #naruto classic #naruto shippuden #pro sasusaku #sasusaku #demisexual #sasuke x sakura #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura

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laviefantasie · 6 months ago

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“Just A Girl” : 01

“ GOJO SATORU X PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER READER ”

SYNOPSIS: After insisting so much, you’re finally given the opportunity to attend college away from home and feel like a normal girl. It is there that you meet Gojo Satoru, another undergraduate student, and for the first time in your life are shown what having a true connection feels like. Or at least that’s what you think…

SERIES MASTERLIST

| next >

I never thought my life was anything but ordinary. Never did I ever think it was weird that most of my birthday parties were mostly full of adults, nor did I question why unless I was at a tea party organized by one of my mother’s friends my friends were mostly my stuff animals

It was what I had always known as a child. Even as a teenager my world were only my parents, my teacher, my nanny, and the staff that constantly followed me around.

What I never got used to? The flashes.

I roll my eyes and turn off the TV abruptly, throwing myself backwards in my king bed. Another day, another news reporter judging my image. Tale as old as time.

Grabbing the nearest pillow, I cover my face and scream.

“Miss,” a knock on the door makes me stop self- pitying, “your breakfast is served”

Inhaling, I stand up and grab my phone from my nightstand before leaving my bedroom. Outside stood Yuki Tsukumo, father’s trusting secretary that has also worked as a bridge for us whenever we are president and first daughter instead of father and daughter.

“Not ready for the day yet?”

“It’s 5:26 in the morning” I smile softly, “I’m just in time for breakfast from 5:30 to 5:50, digesting from 5:50 to 6:00, running from 6:00 to 6:30, and then showering before the real schedule begins”

“That’s my girl” smiles Yuki.

As soon as we arrive at the dining room I sit down besides my father, whose already reading through the notes sent to his iPad. My mother at his other side is reviewing her schedule for the day.

Another normal day for the Y/L/N family.

“Good morning, mom, dad”

“Morning pumpkin” smiles my father, turning off his iPad, “Ready for today?”

I nod smiling before taking a bite of the waffle in front of me. What was in schedule for today anyways?

My mom laughs softly before snapping her fingers, which makes Yuki leave my own iPad beside my plate of food. Schedule for the day already opened.

Fitting at 7:30: Alexander McQueen

Family interview at 9:00

Father’s speech at 10:00

Lunch with the vice president’s family at 12:00…

A sigh escaped my lips as I keep on reading the never ending list of things to do for the day. Most of which consisted of me smiling perfectly for pictures without moving a muscle, or speaking for the matter.

No surprise there. This had been my life the last four years and even before that, it had been all I’ve known.

The price to pay for having parents in politics.

“Do we really have to have lunch with the Zenin’s?” You groan.

Your father sighs, “They may not be the best company, but the matriarch is the best vice president I could’ve wished for. So, yes, we have to”

Your father was right and you knew that. Mrs. Zenin was probably the only good thing of that family that had only been known for corruption. She turned it all around, she even went against their sexist claims and became the matriarch.

She was someone to look up to. Her son though? Not so much. He was 100% his father, maybe only getting his mother’s looks.

“It’s the time for appearances, honey” your mother reminds you, “Reelections are soon. Once that’s over things will go back to normal”

Normal, you sigh.

Normal means new schedules to be followed to build your image. Normal means attending different events and parties according to convenience.

Normal means not normal at all.

“Miss Y/L/N” Yuki calls.

You turn to ask hear her only to see her pointing at her watch. You look at your iPad to see the time.

5:46 a.m.

You curse in your head realizing you had only four minutes to finish your still full plate of food, that if you wanted to stay on time. Which you had to.

Sighing, you clean your mouth before excusing yourself from the table.

Just four more days, you remind yourself, four more days and your new life starts. With that thought a smile graces your features and you run upstairs to start the rest of your day.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

You sighed for the millionth time as you say on your bed, ordered to sit still and watch as your staff packed your belongings. One of the fantasies you had when imagining the start of your normal life was packing by yourself.

I guess that was too greedy of you.

A knock on your door snaps you out of your boredom, your father soon entering making a smile grow on your face.

“Dad!”

You run towards your father and hug him, feeling a warm envelop your chest as you feel him kiss the top of your head.

“Ready for the big day?”

“Oh, God, please don’t” you groan, “I’m starting at Magus Pugnate University tomorrow like a normal girl. Which means no grand parade!”

Your father sighs, “Do you know your mom, honey? Impossible. It’s go big or go home”

You groan out loud making your father laugh and his hold on you tighten.

“I swear I’ll scream if they play ‘Hail to the Chief’, dad” he laughs.

“Come on, let’s go” he starts guiding me to the Oval Office, “Tomorrow is a big day. Law school isn’t easy, munchkin”

“I’m ready” you assure him.

He smile, proud, “I know”

“There you are! Finally”

You both turn with guilty looks towards your mother, in her all First Lady glory, as she glares at you both.

“We don’t have all day, i thought you knew that already” she shakes her head, “Yuki start with the itinerary”

Yuki nods, smiling softly towards you before starting to list the absolutely ridiculous schedule that you had ahead of you—flying on Air Force 1, driving up to Magus Pugnate University where a parade would lead all of you to a quad for a press conference, and then, dropping you off in your university’s private dorm suite after securing it.

You were slightly annoyed as you listened. You dreamt of getting on a commercial flight and driving yourself to university where you’d settle in your dorm with a roommate as normal people do.

But you weren’t normal, and lately that was a really tough pill to swallow.

“They won't ask you about policy. They'll probably ask you about…” you zone out, “…Yaga will accompany you there to make sure everything is secured before leaving you with Sukuna, Higuruma, Nanami and Nitta with you at all times”

“W-wait, what?” You stuttered, “Not only is the Head of Security going but also the four of them? With me? And what you mean at all times? You mean the four of them?”

Your father nods, “Of course, as usual”

“Usual is me going out to events or public spaces” you continue, “I’m going to university, a private one even. A university that is very strict on who they accept. Why do I need that many security?”

“Because you’re my daughter”

That sentence is meat to make you understand. That sentence is enough for him to consider the conversation over and continue with the next subject.

The heavy weight that being the First Daughter carries is one that makes you shake under it, hoping soon you’ll crumble.

Inhale, exhale, you remind yourself.

You’re going to university. For the first time in forever you’re doing something you want. Take it a step at a time.

That night, you tiptoe all through the White House until you make it to the main kitchen. There you open the fridge and get out the Blueberry Cheesecake the Head Chef had made. With no hesitation you grab two plates, cut two pieces and serve them, before grabbing two forks.

Grabbing one of the cakes, you start eating. Moaning in delight at the flavor.

“Ugh, I lost?” You hear your father groan behind you.

“Not blaming you, mom is hard to trick”

“She’d have my head for sure if she saw us right now” he grabs his own cake and takes a bite, “totally worth it though”

“Who would’ve thought Mr. President’s weakness would be Blueberry Cheesecake?” You gasp with humor, “Have I uncovered one of the country’s top secrets?!”

You father laughs with a roll of his eyes, taking another bite off his cake.

“Excited for tomorrow?”

You nod while eating, “I really hope it all goes well”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

You play around with the piece of cheesecake you had cut, debating whether you should voice your feelings or not.

“It’s just… I’m the First Daughter, you know?” You sigh, “Loved by many, hated by many more. Hard to approach, yet never ignored. I’m anxious to see how that’ll work out at university”

“You’ll be fine”

“I know… I hope” you sigh again, “I just really want it to be fun. I want to make friend who like me for me. I want to go out, maybe drink—”

“Excuse me?!”

You laugh, “Kidding. I just want to feel like a teenager for once”

“You will, sweetheart” he kisses the top of your head lovingly, hugging you from your side, “I promise you will”

You wanted to believe he was right. You hoped he was.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

“So, remember, you're just like any other American family. Whose daughter is heading off to college” you repeat again inside the limo, “Remember, today you're not just the First Lady, but you're also a mom”

Your mom frowns slightly, “I'd like to think I'm both women every day”

You sigh, “In short, you're just a proud dad. Like every other dad…watching his little girl head off to University in another state”

Your father groans, “Ugh, don’t remind me. Why did you have to choose somewhere so far away?”

“The distance did influence my decision” you accept, “But MPU is the University for law”

Your father opens his mouth to possibly fight your argument, but the limo stops and soon enough Hail to the Chief starts being played by the band.

“Show time” you mutter to yourself.

Soon enough you’re being blinded by flashes as questions are being screamed at your family.

“Mr. President, how do you feel about your only child going to school so far away?” One says.

“Well, I’m suggesting moving the nation’s capitol”

Your father’s joke makes all of them laugh, even bringing a sincere smile to your face.

“Y/N, will you miss the capital?” Another asks, “Better yet, what will you miss the least?”

Your practices polite smile is once again on.

“Uh, tough question” you laugh politely, “Not sure on what I would miss least, so I can’t answer that… but I can answer what I’ll miss the most: my friends and family. But I’m very excited to experience life as everybody else, and have the famous college experience I’ve read so much about”

Thankfully soon after that the interviews are over and your family is being guided to the place you’ll be staying.

“Nitta is at the end of the hall, Higuruma in the middle, and Sukuna and Nanami will stay at your door” Yuki explains.

It’s the third time she’s said it in the last ten minutes since you’ve arrived.

You roll your eyes and focus once again on looking over your private suite. It was stunning. Big enough for one person, already with all the furniture one may need (although that probably was Yuki’s doing since it was decorated just as you’d wish for).

“Shining Star on site” you hear Nanami murmur into his microphone yet decide to ignore it.

“Not to late to turn back” you mother reminds you softly.

“I love it” you smile, “I’m so excited! Have any of the neighbors arrived?”

“Who are the neighbors?” Your father asks.

“Ieiri Shoko across, Geto Suguru at the end, and Gojo Satoru across from him” Nanami answers, “Miss Ieri is a senior in Psychology, parents still together and strong supporters in the polls; Geto Suguru senior in Law, divorced parents who also are strong supporters, childhood friend with Gojo Satoru who is also a senior in Law. Widowed mother, well-known law firm soon-to-be heir. All of them have been born and raised here, went to the same high school together”

Your eyes widen at the amount of information given. You feel slightly uncomfortable at knowing so much from the people sharing floor with you when they don’t even know you’re here yet.

“Have they arrived yet?”

“All of them have already settled down and are currently eating at the cafeteria across the street” Nanami continues checking his phone, “E.T.A. is 15 minutes”

Okay, scratch slightly uncomfortable, this was an invasion of privacy! It’s illegal!

Well, it was information given to the president…

You shake your head, deciding to focus on anything other than the guilt swallowing you whole.

“Did you check your itinerary with Yuki?”

You frown, “why?”

“Well, there are just a few small functions…”, your mother starts, “your father and I thought you might enjoy attending”

“Uh… do I have a choice?” Your parents shake their head, “Great”

Yaga comes inside, signaling to your parents that it’s time to leave.

“Already?” You ask with a slight pout.

“As if you aren’t dying to see us get out of here” your father jokes.

“Well, the President and the First Lady, totally” you nod, “Mom and dad? Not at all”

With teary eyes your mom holds your hand, guiding you outside your building where the cars are waiting for them to escort them.

You were really doing this, you were really leaving your perfect life behind and achieving one of your dreams. You’d have a normal experience just like everybody else.

“Okay” you mom takes a deep breath, trying to stop her tears, “Remember, a full load of laundry dries faster than half a load. Always take the stairs. Don't sweat the petty things”

“Yes, mom”

“Your father will be here all week campaigning in case…” her voice breaks “If you need anything, anything, call Yuki”

You nod softly, “I will, mom. But I’ll be okay”

Your mom hugs you tightly, letting some tears fall as she kisses your head, then letting go. Next comes your father, who holds your face in his hands softly as he stares at you as if trying to engrave your face in his memories.

“I…”

You sigh, smiling at the way your father blinks faster than normally as he tries to stop his eyes from getting teary.

“Just say you’ll miss me, dad”

“I’ll miss you, munchkin” he hugs you tightly, “As soon as elections are over, we’ll have a father-daughter day. And I mean the 24 whole hours”

“In a row?” You ask laughing.

“It’s a promise. If you dare try to reject my offer I’ll just kidnap you, I can do that” you laugh at his words, “Be good and have fun, okay?

You nod and stay there as they get inside the limo. Drying the tears that had fallen from your eyes as you watch them go.

“Are you guys gonna at least talk to me?” You ask them once you start making your way back inside, “I mean, since you’ll be following 24/7”

Sukuna stays quiet, barely even reacting to your voice, while Nanamo gives you a small nod of acknowledgment with what appears to be a fond look.

“Maybe as a thank you for not choosing to major in something like premed”

You let out a laugh as you arrive to the floor of your studio, although your laugh fades as your eyes connect to the prettiest shade of blue you’d ever seen at the end of the hall.

TAG LIST: @aishies-stuff @kouyoumarryme @mikyapixie @simbaaas-stuff @ichikanu

#satoru gojo x reader #gojo x oc #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo saturo #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #jjk satoru #jujutsu kaisen

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mariacallous · 6 days ago

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Smartphone use among children has reached a critical moment. Many of us in the UK are increasingly aware of the dangers associated with them – and as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I am more worried than most. I am witnessing at first hand the sheer devastation that smartphone use is wreaking on our young people’s mental health. The majority of children over 10 I see at my NHS clinic now have a smartphone. An increasingly large proportion of patients have difficulties that are related to, or exacerbated by, their use of technology.

We are seeing profound mental illness stemming from excessive social media use, online bullying, screen addiction, or falling prey to online child sexual exploitation. We are seeing children who are disappearing into online worlds, who are unable to sleep, who are increasingly inattentive and impulsive, emotionally dysregulated and aggressive. Children crippled by anxiety or a fear of missing out. Who spend hours alone, cut off from those who love them, who spend hour upon hour speaking to strangers.

Children and adolescents are increasingly seeking comfort and validation from peer groups online. Unfortunately, some of these encourage self-harm, eating disorder behaviours and even suicide. I looked after a young person last year who struggled significantly with their mental health and prolific self-harm. I was later informed that they were uploading their experience and behaviours on TikTok and had livestreamed content from within A&E departments and an inpatient psychiatric ward to thousands of followers and well-wishers.

Children’s self-esteem and self-image is also at an all-time low, and levels of depression and suicidal thoughts have never been higher. It is no secret among mental health professionals that there is a direct link between smartphone use and real-world harms.

The average UK 12-year-old now spends 29 hours a week – equivalent to a part-time job – on their smartphone. To have access to the amount of information they do at such a young age is having a profound impact on their neurological development. Where in the past we might have received a handful of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) referrals each week, we are now inundated. Parents can’t get their children to sleep or sit still. They struggle to concentrate in school and education has taken an all-time hit. As adults, we see how our attention span has been affected in the years since our lives have gone online. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone watch a film without scrolling through their phone or checking their messages. Our brains are changing – and children are not immune to this.

At the same time, our young people are increasingly isolated and insular. The average time that teens spend with friends each day has plummeted by 65% since 2010. For hundreds of years, adolescence has triggered a period of social “pack mentality”. Historically, that might have meant pressure to join a football team or go out with friends. But now, this socialising is happening more and more on WhatsApp groups and social media – with terrifying consequences.

In these closed spaces, free from adult oversight, children can fall down disturbing rabbit holes. In clinic, we hear about viral suicide pacts and self-harm challenges being shared by children as young as 10. For very vulnerable children, who may not have many friends in the classroom, the lure of being accepted online can feel intoxicating, even if it means participating in something hugely dangerous. In recent years, there have been numerous high-profile cases of child suicides linked to social media. Most striking is that often their parents have no insight into what is happening before tragedy occurs.

This needs to be a watershed moment. As an advocate for children’s mental health, it is clear to me that we are forcing children to grow up long before they are ready. My heart sinks whenever I encounter yet another young person in clinic feeling hopeless about their future, who is deeply embedded in an alternate reality created by their phone.

In my own family, I hope I’ll be able to keep my children away from smartphones and social media until they are at least 16. Our brains continue to develop up until the age of about 25, and prior to that our ability to think rationally, make decisions based on fact rather than emotion, plan, problem-solve and exhibit self-control is limited. Countless adults struggle to mediate their phone use and maintain productivity, make impulsive purchases online and fall for the many scams out there – why are we expecting our children to cope?

But I’m aware how difficult this will be if all their friends have access to one. That’s why it’s not enough for parents to have to make individual choices. As a society, we urgently need to reckon with this problem. Campaigns such as Smartphone Free Childhood are gaining momentum in encouraging parents to take decisions en masse for their children’s wellbeing. But the state must now also intervene. I hope the government wakes up to what is happening to our young people and takes these tough decisions out of our hands.

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homestuckreplay · 10 days ago

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Webcomics at Day 100 #8: El Goonish Shive

Pages read: 1/21/2002 – 12/27/2002 & 4/14/2009 – 12/29/2009; about 300 pages (including author’s commentary)

Reason for selection: To be honest I just wanted to read it. It’s best known for its real-time exploration of transgender themes via science fiction technology as author Dan Shive (along with many others on the internet) explores his personal experience with gender.

Current status: Ongoing since 2002 with no major hiatuses; update schedule has varied but is currently three times a week for the main comic.

Content warnings: nonconsensual gender transformations, non-explicit sexual themes with 16-17 year old characters, cultural appropriation (Japanese language; dreamcatchers), period typical sexism and homophobia (early strips only)

Note: To the best of my understanding, Dan Shive uses he/him pronouns, but if anyone has a recent source stating otherwise please let me know and I’ll revise this post.

Overall thoughts:

‘And then Susan was all like "I am NOT your strawman", hit me with a hammer, and developed into one of my most favoritist characters ever in anything.’ (Commentary for 5/29/2002)

On August 1, 2014, as part of a Patreon goal, Dan Shive began going through the archives of his already long running webcomic, adding author’s commentary to early strips. In the twelve years between making and commenting on his 2002 comics, Shive has gone from being a teenager with no formal artistic experience who’s absorbed the sexist attitudes of his culture, to an experienced artist and writer with a vision for his project and an honesty about his process who’s ready to be both excited and critical about his early work.

Shive states several times that his commentary isn’t designed to be read on a first read of EGS, but I personally disagree. Around May 2002 in the archives, I realized I was reading for the extremely compelling commentary and not the then-fairly mediocre comic. Shive’s clear excitement for future storylines and regular references to his improvement as an artist and person gave me the drive to keep reading, knowing the upward journey ahead of me. The commentary also provides an alternate, twisting path through the narrative, frequently linking back to previous comics when they’re relevant to help the reader notice foreshadowing and continuity, which is really helpful for a new reader taking in lots of information at once – and I like seeing an author clearly proud of himself for his hard work foreshadowing, where some creators might be dismissive of the feat or ignore it altogether.

EGS – named for the ‘goons’ hired by supervillains - begins by focusing on regular(ish) high schoolers Tedd, Elliot and Sarah, and top-secret lab experiment squirrelgirl Grace. Tedd has a mad science laboratory in his home where he creates questionable technology, including a laser gun that can change the target’s species and biological sex. The characters form relationships and experiment with this technology. When Elliot gets ‘stuck’ in a female form, an adventure to restore his original form ends in his male and female forms becoming two separate entities, after which point Ellen, the female version, explores her existence as essentially the human form of Elliot’s removed curse, and achieves self-actualization while fighting a giant pile of goo.

Ellen’s identity exploration in October 2002 was when I began to connect emotionally with the comic itself, and I started noticing improvement in the art in November. Shive improves massively in the first year, and even he’s surprised by it – a character casually mentions that he’s gay in June 2002, and Shive’s commentary says that he doesn’t remember this happening so early. 2002’s ‘Sister’ arc, which runs for around nine months, uses a board game metaphor to describe the story beats – it’s a little clunky in places, but I like what it’s going for. By 2009, Shive is far more confident with complex emotional arcs, and with balancing serious/comedic and magic/realist elements in his story, which can only come from those first efforts to improve.

‘You look in the mirror, but someone else looks back. You remember a life you never had, one that cannot be yours. You are the piece that does not fit, you don’t belong in this game. The board has been knocked over, you shall be swept away…’ (Strip title (!!) for 10/02/2002)

Shive is an anime fan and former martial artist, and the comic assumes a knowledge of anime – especially anime fight scenes – that I just don’t have. However, Shive is good at citing his influences, mentioning Ranma ½, Dragon Ball Z, Pokemon and The X-Files as inspiring specific choices, among others. With the exception of an excruciating ‘how dare you not get that reference’ in-comic moment in June 2009, knowledge of Shive’s influences isn’t necessary to enjoy EGS; he’s just giving credit where it’s due.

EGS begins with a typical newspaper format – a horizontal black and white four-panel strip, with a full color A4 strip on Sundays. Although Shive never experiments with animated or interactive elements, he plays around with the strip format and panel size in the early years. In July 2002, Shive uses three-panel strips describing the actual continuity, with a fourth horizontal panel below containing events that ‘don’t actually happen’. Shive also tries out using the comic’s title for extra information, as in May 2002’s ‘Jeremy is Juggling Dinner Plates Off-Screen in the Last Three Panels’. By 2009, the majority of comics fill an A4 page in shaded grayscale, a format that carries through to this day. In an August 2009 author’s commentary, Shive considers how a scene would look if animated, but doesn’t express any desire to actualize on this.

My favorite thing about EGS is how Shive discusses his characters. In his commentary, he addresses ‘past me’ with criticism like ‘you should at least have a decent reason if you're going to make Grace upset like that’, or says he ‘honestly didn't want to write commentary’ for a strip where Ellen was upset, showing a really strong emotional connection to the leads. He also addresses the characters directly in commentary, and discusses them as though they have agency beyond his own, for example, ‘I gave Tedd access to something he could totally abuse without anyone knowing, and he didn't’. He’s very interested in alternate universes of his own story, claiming to be an Elliot/Tedd shipper since 2002 despite their not being canon in the main comic, and creates the EGS: NewsPaper subcomic for non-canon storylines.

Among literary writers and critics, it’s very unfashionable to discuss characters this way, but a lot of mainstream and hobbyist writers (including me!) have had these experiences. I think it’s human instinct to connect with other people, and it’s a strength that we’re able to create the idea of a guy and see them as real, like when we see a face in the clouds or in raindrops running down a windscreen. It helps with having compassion for real people we’ve never met. And while it’s definitely not the only way to look at characters, an author being so excited and invested about their own OCs definitely helps me get excited about them too.

The first villain introduced in the comic is a sentient pile of goo, accidentally made by Tedd in science class. The goo, which can mold and change shape, becomes a recurring enemy – an ultimate shapechanger for a story that’s so deeply focused on transformations. It’s a story about malleability and getting the chance to physically shape yourself into the person you want to be, and at its start, it’s definitely a wish fulfilment comic. That applies to lots of things that a young person might think is cool – the existence of an ‘anime martial arts’ class, getting a squirrelgirl gf who walks around your house naked, breaking in to government facilities to steal jewels – but applies especially to the transformations.

Actually, no, the title of this comic [‘The Real Reason for the Male/Female Options on the TF Gun’] is such a liar. It is lying super hard. I don't care if that's a spoiler. I'm just gonna say it. Liar liar, metaphorical pants on all SORTS of fire. I'm not 100% sure, but I think this is yet another example of me basically saying "not that that sort of thing interests me and has been on my mind for nearly literally as long as I can remember" (and only "nearly" because I think my earliest memory involves looking out at a porch or something and I'm pretty sure I wasn't thinking about being stuck as one sex at the time and how that was not a preferred state of being). (Commentary for 5/28/2002)

Relevance to Homestuck: [spoilers for Act 6]

‘Alright, someone send a message to past me to send a message to his past me telling past-past me to get back to me in regard to…’ (Commentary for 8/28/2002)

Both Homestuck and EGS are known for causing fans’ queer and transgender awakenings, which leads to a particularly powerful personal connection between the fans and the comic. Both feature characters with uncommon experiences of gender and sexuality, and characters who begin life as regular humans but develop animal traits. Both also feature multiple versions of the same character spread across different timelines and universes, and both even use the terms ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’ to distinguish between these versions. They explore identity in similar ways, including a focus on whether one version of a character can ever be the ‘true’ version, and the different potential versions of ourselves we all have the power to become depending on what choices we make, thereby exploring free will as it relates to identity formation. In both cases, this broader theme is explicitly connected to how characters choose to express their genders.

Also in both, the theme of gender is obvious from early on – before the authors themselves were fully aware of it. The exploration of this theme does date both comics, as understandings of gender among online queer communities have radically progressed in the past decade, but both are attempting to reflect changing understandings – Shive uses sex and gender interchangeably in early EGS strips, but becomes attuned to the distinction as time passes – and both are radically ahead of the mainstream media of their time. I’d also argue they better represent trans peoples’ real experiences of gender, instead of the ways we might describe our genders to cis people – but others might disagree.

Both comics start off with a very fast update schedule, which rapidly slows down over the course of the story in response to the author’s changing schedule – in both cases this dramatically affects the pace of the story, and storylines which would finish in months instead take years. EGS’ ‘Sister’ arc includes 158 comics released over 9 months in 2002-2003, while ‘Sister II’ includes 133 pages over 21 months in 2008-2010. This means that in-universe time passes far slower than real time, Homestuck famously taking two and a half years to cover a single in-universe day, and EGS taking nine years to cover eleven in-universe weeks. In Homestuck, Hussie is already much older than the characters at the story’s start, but in EGS this has major implications for an author who began as a peer of the characters aging much faster than they do – this has been softened by an in-universe timeskip.

Both comics contain occasional author-driven retcons; while Homestuck’s famous examples concern the characters’ race, EGS’ concern better characterization, and Shive is more open about them. A June 2002 comic contains an altered line of dialog from Susan, as well as a link to the original version, and the explanation ‘If I had to somehow explain how both the new and original version could be canon, my explanation would be this: The original was what Tedd imagined Susan was saying!’ (commentary for 6/27/2002).

There’s also some clear differences. While Homestuck becomes a collaborative project over time with Hussie moving into more of a director role, EGS continues to be one person’s very weird, unedited vision, with little outside input. It also primarily contains actual foreshadowing, instead of the ‘retroactive foreshadowing’ described by Hussie in their end of Act 2 Q&A.

Q: Is Tedd REALLY a guy? A: Yes! Well 99-- um, make that 95% certain. 90%. Yup. 80% certain he's a guy. Totally. ...65% certain. (EGS FAQ, archived on 2/13/2002)

Continue reading? Definitely. It’s not without problems, but I think EGS is important to the trans community, and I think Shive is an attentive, dedicated and gifted storyteller with a deep love for his own work, which is rare to find in something so long-running.

#webcomics 100 #egs #el goonish shive #i did originally want to do these fully in character but later hs (and just later years in general) tends to be Very relevant #this post is sorta from 2002 and 2009 and 2014 and 2024 all at once #which is very homestuck in itself tbh #chrono

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cressidagrey · 6 months ago

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Glorious Sunrise - Chapter 2

Summary:

So what happens after the mating bond snaps?

Well-meaning interfering family members, deep conversations and nights spent brooding on the roof like some kind of gargoyle…this one has it all.

Warnings:

People, being horrible, horrible self image, mention of child abuse, acidic burns and broken bones

(thanks to @cafekitsune for the super pretty dividers!)

She got a kiss on the cheek from Azriel as he bid his goodbyes, going to do gods only knew what for the day.

He hadn’t volunteered and she hadn’t dared to ask, especially not over breakfast, not when her Aunt was mustering both of them with these knowing brown eyes and Galena was quite sure that Madja knew everything.

“We didn’t do anything,” she finally said quietly when she could hear the door close downstairs.

Nothing. She hadn’t even gotten a proper kiss, for cauldron’s sake!

“I know,” her aunt responded calmly. Right. She would have smelled that from a mile off. And there had been nothing. Not the thick cloying scent of arousal or sweat or sex. Nothing.

“But it would have been alright if we did?” she asked, staring down at her bread covered with marmalade.

It was…

She wasn’t even sure if she was ready for it. They had time, of course, they had…but the want to touch and to kiss and to hold and to…she wanted him as near to her as she possibly could, she wanted to feel those scarred hands on her own scarred skin…she wanted him to kiss her and to touch her and she wanted to taste him and she wanted…

It was startling her with the pure intensity of it all. How it had hit her…

“You are an adult. That means that you can manage your own, adult relationships with everything that entails,” Madja said, her voice still carefully even.

Her aunt hadn’t offered a single…comment about her mate, not after it all had gone down. They had talked…a little bit. About how Galena hated to go to the Palace of Bone and Salt…of how Madja sometimes forgot that she wasn’t 12 years old anymore…that she had learned and studied and grown up…and how staying in the house and not wanting people to stare at her was a valid choice, even if Madja disagreed.

But still…

“You also are a healer. I trust you know how to brew a contraceptive draught. You also know exactly how basic anatomy and sex works,” Madja pointed out.

It was true, but Galena just…maybe she just wanted some reassurance. That she wasn’t fucking this up. That she was doing the right thing. That this wasn’t…That this wasn’t wrong that she was feeling that way, this bone-deep want that settled in her gut when she looked at Azriel.

Of course, she knew how sex worked. She had studied to be a healer. She knew that.

But she had never…she had never really…

She had never thought that there would be any male that would ever be interested in her.

So she had made her peace with the fact that she was going to die a virgin and that was it.

She would never lay with a male. And touching herself…for decades she had cringed away when she had ran her own hands over her own scarred skin. She wished it was pale and flawless and not covered in scars and dips and…finally, she had just stopped trying.

And now Azriel was there and he made pure desire roar to life within her…and he wasn’t even aware that he did that.

“We should probably refresh the noise-cancelling runes on your doorframe if you keep inviting him in from the cold though,” Madja quipped then and Galena’s eyes shot up at that, at her aunt watching her with a small smile on her face.

“Galena. You two have every right to be intimate with each other. I am not going to say a single thing against it, because that is not my place. And furthermore, that’s a decision the two of you make, and that I have absolutely nothing to do with,” Madja advised her quietly. “But don’t use sexual intimacy as some kind of replacement for difficult conversation or to build intimacy. Don’t use it to bridge a gap you are feeling.”

She wanted to disagree…wanted to open her mouth and tell her aunt that that wasn’t the case and…

But Madja was right.

She was.

They were both tip-toeing around both their traumas, not trying to scare the other away. And that wouldn’t be enough.

“You have never had a romantic relationship, Galena,” her aunt said calmly. “Don’t rush it. Take every bit of time until you feel safe and secure in your relationship and you both want to take that step.”

It was good advice. She did want to savour it. There was only ever going to be him after all. Just him. Her whole life, her whole love, her whole heart...only for him.

“There never was anybody that didn’t see these,” Galena said, splaying one hand across her own cheek.

“I know,” Madja agreed, pain in her voice.

“He doesn’t. He looks at me and…He wants me .” Her. Not anybody else. She was his mate. Nobody else. “And I want him, Aunt Madja. I want him, ” she admitted hoarsely, feeling her blood burn in her veins with her desire for him.

“You can have him, Little Mouse,” Madja told her with some amusement. “Nobody is taking him from you.”

May the cauldron have mercy on whoever would try.

Still…all of it was slowly ruminating in her brain as she did the exact type of work that day that would keep her busy and productive and didn’t really need her thinking.

It was better that way. She didn’t want to accidentally kill anybody with a sleeping potion, just because she put too much of one ingredient in there.

Still, she carefully stirred her batch of bruising balm that evening as she listened with half an ear to Silas closing up the shop and then heard somebody enter…this time through the front door.

It was accompanied by the lightest of tugs from the shimmering gold thread tied to the very heart of her.

“Let him in, Silas!” she called loudly before Silas could turn Azriel away for coming after they technically closed.

Madja was out that evening, probably for a performance in a theatre with one of her many, many friends and so it was just Galena.

“One moment,” she told Azriel, hearing his footsteps enter the stillroom, not taking her gaze from her bruise balm stirring thrice more counter-clockwise, watching how the mixture all came together, thickening beautifully, and then she lifted the whole pot of the stove and covered it with a square of clean linen.

“Sorry, I needed to finish that or I was going to ruin the whole batch,” Galena apologised as she looked up to find Azriel still standing in her doorway.

“It’s alright,” he waved her off, even as she grabbed her cane to say hello to him properly.

He was just so cupping her face, as Silas cleared his throat behind him and Galena just managed to stop herself from glaring at him for interrupting them.

“Ah, Galena?”

“Yes?” she responded drily, turning her head to look at him. “You can lock up, Silas.”

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t I lock the register and…” he asked, and her forehead crinkled because Silas was normally really not in the mood to do more work than strictly necessary. And the register had never been his work in any way. Galena did that.

“Go home, Silas. Thank you,” she waved him off. He stared at her. She stared right back.

“Madja said…” he started to protest, and then Azriel moved…she had thought it wasn’t even on purpose until she realised that his wings twitched menacingly and she bit back a smile at Silas cowered without a second thought.

“...I am…going - Goodbye!”

“Goodbye,” she responded drily, waiting until she heard the front door slam into the hinges.

“Pleasant Fellow,” Azriel commented. She could nearly taste the sarcasm in his words. She rolled her eyes.

“Madja hired him to man the till while Cosima is on maternity leave,” she said drily. “It was either him or me and I am more likely to scare customers away than get anybody to buy some bruise balm,” she commented with a snort. “Though to be honest, customers day in, day out, would annoy me to no end.”

She liked the quietness of the stillroom

“I brought you food,” he said suddenly, holding up a back that she hadn’t even seen. “From Sevinda’s…I thought we could have dinner?”

That was the best proposal that she had heard today.

She grinned, leaning up to press a proper kiss to his lips, allowing herself to lift one arm to twin around the back of his neck and enjoy the taste and the feel of him, of her mate, of…just Azriel.

“You brought me food?” she whispered softly.

“I did,” he agreed. “Good enough to get you to leave the stillroom for the day?”

“Always,” she agreed. “Let me just grab the register.”

She dropped that up in her aunt’s warded safe and then let Azriel up to the attic.

She was surprised to find his shadows fussing at her as soon as they were in relative privacy, untying the apron she still wore to save her dresses from getting completely dirty while doing her work and looking through her cabinets for cutlery and plates and pushing Azriel around so that he pulled out a chair for him.

“They are being…” She didn’t even have the words for it.

“Fussy,” Azriel said with a sigh. “They are being fussy. Probably wasn’t helped that they thought I was an absolute idiot for sitting around on your windowsill.”

She held back a snort at that, letting Azriel put food on the table…

“I thought we could have dinner…and then we could have a talk,” she said, over a bite of absolutely lovely chicken in some spicy red sauce and she watched how he hesitated for just a second. “Nothing bad,” Galena assured him, reaching out over her table to take his hand in hers. “I just…I owe you some explanations.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Azrile disagreed. She sighed.

“I owe us the truth,” she told him with a smile, the good corner of her mouth ticking up.

She waited until they finished eating and after she had stolen a bar of chocolate from her own cabinets, she led him over to her couch, letting him sit first, wings splaying over the low back of it, so that she could curl against his side, holding out the bar of chocolate for him to break a piece off of.

He took that invitation.

“I always feel better if I get to eat chocolate,” she told him in the same tone of voice that she would use if she told him a big, bad secret and he laughed, the sound so beautiful that she wanted to hear it more often. She wanted to see Azriel smile, wanted to see the corners of these hazel green eyes crinkle up, wanted to see that dimple that was there on his right

“I have the biggest sweet tooth of any creature I have ever encountered,” he gave back in the same tone of voice and she grinned at him, taking a piece herself, chewing and swallowing…letting the sweet taste of that chocolate brush away all the horrible things she was going to bring up soon.

“My mother…My mother is Madja’s younger sister. Sofiya,” she started there because she didn’t know where else to start. The woman who had given life to her, probably was as good a start as any.

“Is,” Azriel repeated questioningly and she shrugged.

“Oh, she’s still alive…She was banned from Velaris. But still lives somewhere in the Night Courts Borders,” she explained with a wave of her hand. Unless of course, she had died in the last 150 years, which of course was perfectly possible…

“I was born to her and her mate. I was their only child. And for the first decade of my life…everything was perfect,” Galena continued, her voice quiet. “I had a mother and a father that loved me…And I was really good at school…and everything was just…as it should be.”

She had never thought then, that it would end like it did nowadays…then she had had skin the colour of peaches and cream and big brown eyes…and she could run as fast as a rabbit and not worry about her thigh or her hip giving her trouble…she had been able to do all of that.

“And then my father died. Killed by some idiot in a bar fight. He was a musician…he was just there as a favour to a friend…” she trailed off and Azriel reached out to hold her hand, pressing it slightly.

“I am sorry.”

She just shook her head.

It was fine. It was a century ago…she had dealt with her grief to the best of her ability…it was just….“I think his death killed my mother too,” she said darkly. “She was still alive of course…but she was an empty shell…and then met her second husband.”

And that…that had been the beginning of the end.

“If I ever met a monster…he was it,” Galena whispered softly. “He was a monster. It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do…It was never good enough… It started small…bruises…then it…changed.”

It got worse. It was unspoken, but she hung onto Azriel’s hand as she stared out of the window, over the roofs of Velaris, towards the Sidra…

“He was a hunter, a forager…He knew plants…not as well as Madja or me…but well enough…” She touched her face, and felt the texture of her scars underneath her fingertips. “These were a punishment,” she explained, her voice forcibly calm…”Just like my leg…”

“For what?” Azriel demanded his voice cold death.

“Breaking a dish,” Galena said quietly. “I was supposed to clean it, but the water was hot and soapy and I lost my grip and…He was furious. He broke my leg…shattered it in fact…up to my hip. So badly that it would never heal quite right…over and over again…”

She pushed those memories down and away from her, not letting them overwhelm her with the grief she was feeling. It wouldn’t help anybody. It wouldn’t.

“He kept this massive cauldron over the fire… If you boil giant hogweed it can turn into acid…if you add this and that…” she trailed off, letting him come to his own conclusion. “That’s what he did. And then he upended the cauldron over me.”

The scars hurt her with an echo of the pain she had been in then.

“I don’t remember the rest.” Not what had happened afterwards. She didn’t want to remember. It was better if she didn’t.

“Galena.”

“Lost my sigh from that too. Only can see dark shapes with the bad eye,” she continued, blinking away sudden tears. “I lost my mother. Because she thought that if I never broke that fucking plate then he would have never needed to hurt me in the first place. And she wouldn’t have lost her second husband.”

The growl that sounded from Azriel at these words should have probably scared her but all it did was make warmth blossom in her chest.

“Madja spent the next 6 months healing me,” she said softly. “I was in so much pain…I was up here in the attic and sometimes I just spent days screaming myself hoarse…”

She didn’t like to think of that time either.

“I stopped doing that…it wasn’t going to help me…and when I returned to school…the stares and the words started…and I learned that being silent was…it could be my peace too,” Galena recounted quietly.

Her peace. And so after school, she had found her peace in that still room. And even if sometimes it stifled her…it was still safe, still peaceful…her own oasis of serenity, without anybody staring at her.

“I am sorry,” Azriel apologised to her, his voice hoarse. She finally turned to look at him.

“It’s not your fault that this happened to me,” she disagreed.

It was not. He had absolutely nothing to do with it.

“Why tell me this today?” he asked her, looking at her, his eyes soft and she hesitated for just a moment.

“Because I don’t want you to find out through somebody else. I want you to hear the truth, my truth, through me.”

This was a conversation the two of them should have. And nobody else.

She wondered what he would say next, watched his expression shutter and he started at their joint hands, the matching scarred tissue…his skin darker than hers by only a few shades.

“I was born as the son of an Illyrian camp lord…and his long-suffering mistress. I was a bastard…he ripped me from her arms when I was still a babe. When his wife found out. I spent the first 11 years of my life… imprisoned under his keep in a dark cell.”

She had expected a lot, but that wasn’t it.

This was so much worse. This was...

How could anybody do this to a child? How dare they?!

She could just stare at him, his gaze still on their entwined hands, not looking into her face.

“Azriel,” she whispered.

“I was allowed out one hour a day. I was allowed to see my mother one hour a week…” he continued. “I…I have two older half-brothers…When I was 8, they decided to see how fire and oil mixed. My hands were the sacrifice for that particular experiment.”

Everything in her very being locked up at that.

His brothers had tortured him? His brothers had…they had done that to him?

No wonder Cassian had said that he would rather run a sword through them than let them decide anything about Azriel’s healing.

“The shadows came to me after that…they kept me company. They kept me sane,” he explained, as a shadow curled itself around their entwined hands. “Mostly at least. They tried,” he added, some amusement bleeding into his voice.

“Didn’t succeed?” she quipped and he shook his head.

“They get bloodthirsty,” he recounted with a snort. “I killed my father later on,” he admitted to her, his voice quiet… ”I let my brothers live…their mother too. But him…him I killed.”

He said that so matter of factly, but she understood it. If she could have killed her monster, she would have.

“I was young…arrogant, stupid…I was just over twenty…After I was eleven and they had realised what I was becoming..a shadowsinger…the fact that I could be valuable to the Court and the then High Lord through my very specific abilities…they dumped me into another war camp and made me learn . That’s where I met Cassian and Rhys…and Rhys’ mother, who took me under he wing because she used to know my mother,” he said, and for the first time, he seemed mostly at peace as he told her the story. “We survived the Blood Rite…together. We were warriors…fully fledged soldiers…and I went to kill my father.”

“Did it make you feel better?” she asked, curiosity colouring her voice. “I used to wish I could do to him what he did to me…Make him live with the same pain I live with every day,” she admitted quietly. “I used to wish I could do that to my mother…make her understand what her precious second husband did to her daughter…”

“I felt very pleased with myself when I felt his blood drip down my hands,” Azriel admitted quietly. “I never regretted it if you mean that…I don’t know if I would do it again, but…”

“I once healed a male without pain relief because he was a grown man bullying a little girl…Since then Madja thinks I lack empathy sometimes,” Galena admitted, making him snort.

“Do you?” he asked her.

“I don’t think so…I would still do it the same way. He started it. He needed to learn that eventually, people would reach their breaking point and fight back. I would never do that to an innocent fae…but he wasn’t innocent,” she explained. “There is…a line that shouldn’t be crossed…but…” She tried to explain it to him, but he understood it, unspokingly.

“I have done…a lot of bad things in my life. I have killed so many that I lost count…but if I sit still and close my eyes I can still see their faces…I have tortured for information and followed the orders of a madman because I didn’t want to die. I am not proud of what I have done. Not of everything…I regret a lot of that…but…”

“But you did it for the Court,” she ended his sentence and he just nodded.

“It’s alright,” she promised him. They both had a twisted idea of what fair judgment was.

Dark Hazel eyes lifted and he stared at her.

“How can you say that?”

“Not a lot of homicidal maniacs are as beloved by their family as you are,” Galena quipped. Azriel just stared at her.

“Thanks, I think,” he gave back drily.

“I can live with it,” she promised him. “That’s what you are worried about, isn’t it? I am not going to run away screaming the first time you come home covered in blood.”

“You don’t know what you are agreeing to,” Azriel told her tightly, but she hung onto his hand.

“My aunt has been working for Rhysand for centuries,” she disagreed. “I can live with it,” she promised him.

“Can you?”

“If I get you, yes. If I get you, I can live with nearly anything.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have said these words, because he nearly pounced on her. But then, if the result was her stretched out on her couch and him kissing her…then she could live with the results.

Oh, she definitely could.

He kissed her properly, his mouth fused to hers, and she curled her fingers in his dark locks, gasping against him, feeling the current of his wings thrumming in the air behind him…

She could taste him, could taste chocolate and him, that taste that was Azriel through and through…

Her mouth opened in a gasp, and his tongue slipped in, her whole body shuddering…even as he let her gasp for air and kissed down the side of her neck.

“There’s one more thing,” she gasped out. He left off her neck, leaning his forehead against hers, and she stared into these beautiful green-brown eyes, flecked with pure gold.

“What do you mean?” he asked her and she could feel the blush tint her cheeks.

“I…” she was searching for the right words…“You know how I don’t really leave the house?” she asked him and then cringed, because as far as segues went…that was horrible.

“Yes?” Azriel asked her nonetheless, eyebrows furrowing.

“I…I have never done this,” she blurted out.

He stared at her, still not understanding.

“This, Azriel,” she waved between them. Still no recognition. “I have never laid with anybody,” she finally said, spelling it out, watching his eyes widen. “If that bothers you…” Galena trailed off, no idea what she would do if her lack of experience did bother him.

“Why should that bother me?” Azriel finally wondered.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. But if it did.

“I am not,” he told her drily, still balancing over her, the position not even putting any strain on him in any way…he wasn’t squishing her…his weight held securely on his forearms above her.

“What?” she asked.

“I am definitely not a virgin,” he told her calmly and she stared at him.

“I didn’t expect that?” she gave back questioningly. This was just… That hadn't even crossed her mind.

“If that bothers you…” he trailed off and only then she finally got it. She glared at him, even when he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, a grin covering his features, the most playful she had ever seen him.

“Be serious,” she requested in a huff. She had worried that he would care about her lack of experience, but it didn't seem to matter to him at all.

“I don’t care, Galena,” he promised her fiercely. “We’ll figure that out. We’ll take it slow. Everything at your pace.”

Something inside her loosened at that.

“But you’ll stay the night, right?” she requested shyly and he nodded.

“I’ll stay the night.”

“And you’ll kiss me?”

“I’ll kiss you every damn day.”

#acotar fanfiction #glorious sunrise #indelible #my writing #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel fanfiction

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 1 year ago

Text

Television

Self-Aware! Bram Stoker x GN! Reader x Self-Aware! Platonic! Aya Koda

Description: Life is full of small moments. You share this moments with your new friends and family. Today, you have a tea with Aya and Bram.

Fluff.

Sequel to Nightmares and Cuddles

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

Based on this moment from Soviet cartoon about Karlson. English version here. (11:31 - 12:38).

________________

You are in your kitchen, cooking something. From time to time you are looking in the living room.

Aya Koda, ten-year-old girl and one of your new friends, is sitting on the couch, waiting for you.

You don't see him, but you know, that Bram (with your permission) are looking at the books that were laying on the table in your bedroom.

You still can't believe, that Bram and Aya (and the rest of BSD Characters) were real.

Just four days ago, you were a normal person with simple interests.

Now you are a person who are living with Bungou Stray Dogs Characters. And said characters want to be your friends.

Or, and last night you spent cuddling with Dazai and Oda.

It was a lot to take in, but, you have a feeling, that all of you will face any challenge together.

Today you decide to make a first step in building your friendship with others. By having tea with Aya and Bram.

Right now, you are making sandwiches.

The bread was fresh, large and flavorful. You easily cut it with a knife. There were not any crumbs left on the cutting board.

You carefully take slices of bread and spread butter on them with the greatest care.

The stick of butter looked like a small gold bar. The slightly melted butter was tender and smelled pleasantly of cream.

After butter, you add ivory cheese on few slices. On other slices, you add flavorful strawberry jam.

Soon you had two plates with sandwiches. You carefully take them in both hands and bring them to the living room. You put both plates on the coffee table.

On the coffee table there already were three cups and a pot with fresh tea. Tea was made by Goncharov, so it will be good, you were sure of it.

Aya perks up, looking at sandwiches.

"Looks great! Bra-chan! Sandwiches are ready!"

You heard Beam's voice coming from your room.

"I will be in a minute"

You start pouring tea in cups. The aroma of herbs was nice and strong.

After all three cups were full, you sit on the couch, next to Aya. Bram still wasn't there.

The silence starting to became awkward. At least, you thought so.

You always have troubles with making friends. You were afraid, that people will find you boring or annoying. That people secretly think that you aren't worth spending time with. That people secretly hates you.

You won't call yourself a 'social butterfly', you were fine with having one or two friends only... But, the problem was that you don't have anyone you can call best friend. Or good friend. There was one of your old classmates, who was calling you from time to time, but, she was friendly towards everyone. So, her friendship doesn't make your worries disappear. Your fear of been a burden or laughingstock made you even more closed off.

And now, with having BSD Cast in your life you felt, that you hit gold and fall into the abyss at the same time.

BSD Cast were nothing but kind towards you. Yet, still, you were afraid that you will accidentally mess this up and as soon, as they realized that you aren't that interesting, as soon as they learn more about you, they will leave you.

You looked at Aya with the corner of your eye. Girl doesn't seem to be bothered by your silence. She was simply sitting on the couch, and waiting for Bram to finally join you two, so you can start your little 'tea party'. You licked your lips. Maybe, you should say something.

"Um... Aya... Is it okay if I turn TV on? I... want to check last news... Or, maybe... Something interesting is on?"

'Great, [Y/N], it wasn't awkward at all. Not even for a bit' you mentally scolded yourself.

You didn't notice Aya's soft gaze. Girl smiled brightly.

"Of course, [Y/N]! Do, as you want. Having TV on will be a good ambulance. Besides," Aya giggles. "As a newcomer to this world and future Defender of Justice of this world, I need to learn as much as I can about the new world!"

You smile nervously. It seems, right now, everything is doing great. You turned the TV on. After switching a couple of channels, you stopped at the news broadcast.

The volume wasn't high. To tell the truth, worlds were recognizable, but quiet. Bram still wasn't there.

Aya turned her head towards you and asked

"Hey, [Y/N], can I ask you something?"

You nodded, taking a quick glance at Aya.

"What do you want to know?"

Aya looked at you with an adoring look.

"Was it scary to demand that Fukuchi take away Holy Sword from Bram?"

You shook your head.

"Not really. He looked calm and not scary. Besides, It's not like my demand wasn't unnecessary."

_______

Two days after BSD Cast arrival.

______

You were having a chat with... Almost everyone at that point.

Everyone from BSD Cast want to talk to you.

'Yes, Naomi, I remember, that I promised to have a tea and snacks with you and Haruno'

'Yes, Kyouka, we will have Boiled Tofu later'

'No, Fitzgerald, I don't know if someone are selling a house big enough for all of us to live in.'

On the background, Fukuchi was giving last instructions to Teruko and Tachihara about protecting you today. You didn't pay too to him. You feel, like you forgot something.

You take a quick glance around.

Right, Bram!

You immediately stand up from the couch and hurry to Fukuchi.

"Um... Sorry for interrupting, but, Fukuchi, can I ask you something?"

Fukuchi grinned and looked at you.

"Of course, Little Guiding Light. What is it?"

You point at Bram. He and Aya were sitting on one chair.

"Can you, please, take away Holy Sword from Bram. I could explain, why I have a BSD Characters in my house. But in no way I could explain a talking head. No offense, Bram."

Fukuchi nodded and, after picking up Bram, left the room.

You heard Karma's voice.

"Um... How would you explain us being in your apartment?"

You cast a quick glance at him.

"I would say that I finally became sick of society norms. But, because I like Internet, books and snacks, instead of running away and becoming a forest goblin, I decided to live among cosplayers. Not very common by society standards."

The silence raised above all of you. Then Adam raised his hand.

"You... Made up that explanation on the spot, right?"

You nodded.

"Yes. But talking head, still, is unexplainable."

____________

Aya laughed.

"Well, your explanation were funny."

"Well, it was the first explanation I could think about."

Finally, you two heard sounds of steps.

Bram finally joined you two.

"[Y/N], I found books from your world truly magnificent. I..."

Bram froze in one place and stared at your TV.

"[Y/N]. You have a talking head at your house. Here. It is looking at us."

You and Aya glance at each other. Then at TV. A news reporter was talking about something. Only his head and shoulders were on the screen.

You asked.

"Bram... Has anyone told you about television?"

Bram nodded, still looking at the news reporter.

"Aya mentioned something. I did not understand her explanations fully. We only had the Screen to look at things from your world. Television... It is some kind of new technology, right?"

Without waiting for your answer, Bram came closer to the TV and start checking it.

Aya took one sandwich and take a bite.

"I don't think that Bra-chan will leave your TV alone for the next few minutes. And here we are, planning to have a tea party, only three of us. And the third person isn't even interested."

Bram ignored her.

You and Aya start drinking tea and eating sandwiches.

Meanwhile, Bram tried to look under your TV.

"Where are his legs? I will get to the bottom of this."

It was... Is some sense funny to look at. Bram, vampire lord, was trying to understand, how TV worked.

You decide to let Bram do his thing. You moved slightly, trying to sit more comfortably. And you accidentally push the button on the remote.

Channel changed.

Now, there was a model on the screen. She was advertising something.

Bram finally looked at the screen again.

Immediately, Bram stand still and slightly bow his head.

"Please, forgive me for not noticing you earlier, Madam."

Aya tried not to laugh. You try to hide a smile behind the teacup.

Bram was still talking.

"I would be honored, if you joined us for our tea party, but, I am afraid, we should ask the Host, if you can join."

Suddenly, Bram moved slightly. His leg drag TV's cable. TV got turned off. Bram's eyes were closed, so he didn't notice, that his 'Madam' wasn't here anymore.

"Let me introduce myself, Count Bram Stoker. And that is my young friend Aya and our wonderful host [Y/N]... Where did she go?"

Bram turned the TV on the side, trying to find the missing girl.

Aya and you were howling with laughter.

Bram grumbled.

"Well, it was very rude. And you two are not doing a better job, than her. Stop laughing so loud."

You two try to calm down. With no avail.

Bram mumbles something and walked closer to you two. He put his hands on your and Aya's heads and roughly ruffled your hair.

"I said stop. Both of you."

It worked. You and Aya stopped, laughing like two hyenas.

Aya coughs.

"Sorry, Bra-chan. Just... You will also find it funny, we explain, what TV is. Right, [Y/N]?"

You nodded. It should be interesting.

Bram sat near you and took one of the sandwiches.

"I am listening."

_________

Nothing too wild happened today.

You had a tea party. You explained what TV is to Bram.

No conflict, no problems.

Just a little silly moment and a begging of new friendship.

#self-awareau #self-awarebsd #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #platonic #bsd bram #bram x reader #aya koda #bsd aya #Self Aware Aya Koda #Self Aware Bram Stoker

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ctrlsht · 1 year ago

Text

Fragment of the Past | jungkook au teaser

pairing: patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader genre: thriller & yandere au

summary: You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and a book author. You start treating Jeon Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

content and general warnings: patient and business owner jk, psychotherapist and author reader, mental disorders (depression, PTSD, ASPD), manipulation, crime, gaslighting, stalking, blackmailing, yandere. There are more, but when it comes, I will indicate it immediately.

note: This fiction will contain multiple mental disorders. I conducted my own research to avoid spreading misinformation, but there may be aspects I've overlooked, so I am open for any corrections.

date of release: TBA. But most probably, within this month

preview:

You have to admit that there is something wrong with his words and actions. There are signs that he’s becoming manipulative and a sudden change of mood. He's self-absorbed and lacks remorse for others. You’ve been thinking that there are other diagnoses with his actions and behaviors however, you cannot suddenly show up and tell what other illness he has. You still have to observe your sessions with him.

You have now freshen up and are ready to rest but you decide to visit your office to check your schedule for tomorrow and the following days. You only have one patient for tomorrow and most of your schedules are meetings. Before you log out on your computer, you glance at the folder of Jungkook in your patient list and you click it subconsciously.

Jeon Jungkook, 31-year old male who suffers from PTSD, after surviving an extremely traumatic incident.

You pick up your phone, insert the cord that connects it to the computer, and then locate the file you're searching for.

Patient’s session recordings: Patient JJK: PTSD. Session 7 out of 12

You immediately transfer those files to your personal computer, and once the transfer is successful, you play the most recent file that was recorded a while ago.

“I’m not quite sure about that, Dr. Y/N. I may be happy right now, but later on, I’ll remember the tragic event once again.”

“It’s okay. It really happens. Healing from your trauma doesn’t happen in a short period of time. But eventually, you’ll be okay. It may not be right now nor tomorrow but one day,”

“Will you leave me after I completely heal, Dr.?”

“Well, that’s quite the opposite, Jungkook. You’ll be the one to leave me after our final session comes to an end. And as your doctor, I genuinely want you to heal and move on to continue living with your life.”

“Then I’m not quite sure if I’ll be happy for our final session to come to an end.”

a/n: This fiction is inspired by the book "Never Lie" by Freida Mcfadden. If you've read the book, you may have an idea of how the story will flow.

#jungkook au #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook scenarios #dark fiction #manipulative jungkook #yandere jeon jungkook #bts au #bts #yandere jungkook #bts yandere #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts x reader #dark fanfiction

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dotthings · 3 months ago

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Appointment in Samarra is a banger of an episode.

Let's talk about the fallacy of "Dean only cares about Sam he would let the whole world burn bleep blop bloop"--a fallacy often used by a certain standom faction.

Canon events:

Dean shows his self-sacrificial inclinations and he is doing it for Sam's sake, and lets himself be killed for 6 minutes so he can talk to Death, to get Sam's soul back, but the rest of the episode--and later episodes of the series--will show Sam isn't the only one Dean is willing to make sacrifices for, including the part where Dean temp kills himself to help the ghost of a child for one example, and is even more willing to go there because of his grief over Cas. Loss and grief often drives Dean. In S6, he is grieving Sam, because Sam's soul is gone

Dean's intent isn't to do this only for Sam, and he asks for both Sam's soul and Adam to be lifted from the cage

Death, who has had it up to here with Winchester shenanigans forces Dean to choose between the brother he's known his entire life and the half-brother he barely knows. It's not because Dean doesn't care about Adam, because Dean asked to save Adam not just Sam. There's nothing twisted or unhinged about Dean choosing Sam's soul, when Death plays hardball at him. But if the other person was someone Dean knows well and loves dearly...it isn't so simple. He also cares about people.

Death makes a deal with Dean to get Sam's soul back where Dean has to be Death for 24 hours and if Dean gives up, if he takes off the ring, he loses and the deal is off (This is one of my favorite Dean-focused episodes btw)

It starts out simple for Dean. A robber. An adult man having a heart attack enabled by his own junk food habits. Dean knows things aren't this simple but in this ep he's initially letting himself whistle past the graveyard that this will be a cakewalk...innocents don't die. Only crooks and people who don't take proper care of their bodies, right? The irony doesn't escape me that Dean himself is a junk food enthusiast himself. As is Death.

But it's not so simple. There's a 12 year old girl with a weak heart. Dean can't endure killing her and mis-uses some high-minded ideas about free will and defying fate to justify his refusal to do his job as Death in this one instance. The ripple effect causes the death of another innocent, the nurse who would have assisted in the little girl's surgery, but it was cancelled due to her miraculous recovery, the nurse heads home, and therefore winds up in a horrible car accident that takes her life, and she dies because the heart surgeon doesn't return to the hospital in time, because he went home as well due to the little girl's miraculous recovery

Dean then witnesses the grief of the husband of the nurse, raw and large and he identifies with it and his regrets are increasing

Dean then acts to save the husband, who in a drunk fit of grief, almost drives his car into a busload of people.

To save an entire busload of people and the grieving husband, Dean takes off the ring. He loses the bet. He willingly relinquishes that chance to save Sam's soul to save others.

He returns to the little girl to set things right, because if he doesn't, the ripple effect will follow her the rest of her life and people will keep dying because Dean as Death couldn't bear to kill her.

Meanwhile soulless Sam is off the chain, there's the confirmation he regards Sam as an other, and himself a separate being. He has to kill Bobby for the spell to protect him from having Sam's soul jammed back into him and attacks Bobby.

The reason Dean gets to the point where he realizes he'll have to kill soulless Sam is because soulless Sam tried to kill Bobby. (Note fallacy B, Dean doesn't really care about Cas because he's willing to kill Godstiel, when soulless Sam and Godstiel are parallel situations and Dean was ready to kill soulless Sam). You can see the exact moment where soulless Sam realizes Dean is ready to kill him, the realization from both of them.

Having put Dean through the wringer and gotten him to understand his ripple effect of his actions on the natural order, Death then decides to get Sam's soul back after all.

This is not due to the deal Dean made. Dean did not save Sam's soul. Death handed it over after Dean blew the deal. Death has his own agendas and wants Dean to be detective and look into what's going on with the souls. And maybe he does have a soft spot for Dean. Cosmic beings often seem to.

Canon is canon is canon is canon, Dean's love is not finite, Dean's heroism isn't limited, Dean never ever only cares about Sam, even in S2 when he was in a drunk griefrage yelling at Bobby, he was speaking from a place of deep hurt but he would never have actually let the world end for it, Dean's capacity to care is vast, and far far more than a certain fandom faction ever has the ability to comprehend and grasp. It's their loss entirely.

#Dean Winchester #Dean meta #spn meta #dot rewatches spn

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