#mutual who has known me since i was 16(?) and has always been there with charm

[midnightraine131]

Hello Raine! 💙

How have you been? I hope everything is going well for you!

For the fandom ask:

2, 5, 9, 16, 22, 24

Have a wonderful *timezone*, and wish you all the best(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Hey Anna, thank you for your ask.

It's been so long, well, uhm, I guess I'm doing just fine aside from losing a tremendous amount of weight for the past couple of months.... I can say it in a good way since all my medical results came out real good. I hope to have fewer medications after I see my doctor this week. *Cross fingers*

How about you? I hope you're having a good time (Googles your timezone) Oh, it's very early in the morning over there. Please take some rest.

Anyway, without further ado, here's all my answers.

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

I came across a headcanon about Armin being the perfect husband material like he cooks, takes care of the house chores all by himself, and so on. In most of the fics I’ve read, especially post-canon or modern AU, he’s incredibly skilled at it.

But let’s be honest—during his time as a cadet and in the elite squad, Armin practically disappears when it comes to cleaning or cooking. Refute me if you want, but we never see him holding a spatula or a broom. He probably avoided Levi’s attention altogether when it came time to clean the headquarters.

Still, I like to imagine he becomes more responsible at home as he grows older. I mean, come on—when Annie gets pregnant (assuming that happens), there’s no way he’d leave Jean, Connie, or maybe Reiner to take care of her. Especially since we know she’s pretty unorganized in their shared space. So yes, post-canon husband material Armin it is!

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

Always the shy yet vocally bold Armin, and Annie, the emotionally constipated one LOL. This dynamic has always been my cup of tea in fics.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

Oh, this is tricky. I can say AruHitch (?) *blinks rapidly*

I like to think they could be besties when it comes to giving love advice—advice neither of them would actually follow by the end of the day. I imagine them staying up late at night by a bonfire, beers in hand, talking religiously about their crushes and how they have no chance with them in any scenario. They’d probably call each other dummies.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

This one’s about Connie. I’ve noticed that most people in the fandom regard him as a dummy because of how the story portrays him in canon—or even how he views himself. But if you take a closer look at his character, he’s so much more than just a slapstick comic relief. Sure, he underestimates his own intelligence, but he often makes a lot of sense and has talents in his own right. I’ll fight anyone who calls him cringe. Try me.

22. the fandom friend you've known the longest

I guess I won’t count the mutuals I had back in 2013, since I don’t see their accounts anymore, and I wasn’t really trying to get involved back then. When I returned in 2022/23, I decided to start writing fics again and kept this blog active. The first people I talked to were @moonspirit and @annawayne, and they made me feel so welcome in the AOT fandom. I’m incredibly grateful for that.

They inspired me to write more, and knowing we had this little community tucked into a small corner of such an enormous fandom—it truly felt like a haven. It makes me so happy to see new people joining and contributing, whether through art, fanfics, or even as readers supporting everything we do. They welcomed them just as warmly as I was when I returned as a new writer last year, and that sense of belonging is something truly special.

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life

God, I can’t stop rambling about how much this fandom has positively impacted me in every aspect of my life. It might sound like I’m overreacting, but after I started writing Aruani fics, I realized something profound: first loves truly linger, even when you’re over 30. For me, that “first love” is twofold—my love for writing and the love I felt when I first shipped Aruani ten years ago.

Sharing that love has brought me happiness beyond words, especially when people read my fics, leave comments, or even reach out on my socials just to tell me how much they enjoy my work. It means so, so much to me. All the time, effort, and tears poured into writing every chapter feel completely worth it because of the love and appreciation from all of you.

Coming back to this fandom has been the best decision I’ve made in the past couple of years, and I truly hope it continues for many more. I’m definitely not ready to move on to another fandom, even though AOT has long since ended. I’m still holding out hope for High School Caste!

[narwhalandchill]

(certain genshin ships w ajax brief negativity lmao like this is gonna b real controversial im sorry. not an attack at anyone just my opinion here be gentle)

obviously disclaimer that if u like the pairings in question im not like canceling or attacking you personally or saying ur wrong for liking it or for not considering the more uhh iffy angle im abt to bring up in terms of how i personally always felt abt these ships, i have mutuals who rb stuff for these sometimes and its just a tag i have blocked its life it happens, im more so just overall commenting on the existence of the pairings to begin w, its not worth the drama its my opinionnn please keep that in mind but yeah

anyway ugh now w like capitano model preload stuff and some of the model comparisons being made (hes slightly bigger than the usual tall male apparently n childes model was used for the comparison) and the shippy comments being made abt it im gonna be honest chief. i do not. like. a single ajax x harbinger pairing like im sorry just how exactly is the age gap (and seniority. and experience. and power imbalance) not processing with ppl when it comes to these at all ??? 😭😭 hes the youngest appointed harbinger canonically and w perueres story we now know that was like. Literally 16 at most for him. and even if that wasnt the case and before it was confirmed. hes still been around the harbingers since he was a teenager bc of being pulcinellas protege idc if its like this convoluted argument of well he wouldnt really interact w them on an interpersonal relationship level before hes a bit older its just still so weird to me i just dont understand how any of these pairings became a thing 💀 like you think not being around him that frequently would stop the usual shipping suspects ppl favor with childe from seeing him as a literal kid either way???

arles literally the one exception here since theyre actually around the same age but those 2 have the ship chemistry of two noble gases JSKSKSLDOSOSKFL (= literally no reaction) . arle is a whole dyke that much is obvious.

like obviously its not like much can be done since pairings like scara are way too popular to be somehow halted on their tracks and the cap stuff will prolly have a resurgence as well now that hes getting a more tangible characterization in natlan but ughhhh. it also sucks bc i think ajax 100% has a crush on cap and its such a peak concept (the guy Absolutely played a part in childes bisexual awakening) but the idea of it being reciprocated on any level whatsoever just feels nasty to me im sorry 😭 my cap would Never its literally on the level of pairing him w skirk to me

also scara always felt strange to me solely based on the fact that he genuinely dislikes ajax lmao like. it feels ooc on principle afshsjsksidk but whens that ever stopped anyone i suppose. it lowkey feels like ppl just wanted a m/m harbinger pairing at any cost 💀 and i suppose scara being an immortal puppet wasnt like known early on so i suppose the ship becoming a thing in like 1.1 is fair enough? but still my current feelings wrt ajax age gap w the harbingers do stand

[fayedartmouth]

I really enjoy and appreciate how you focus on JJ's and JB's friendship in your writing. I feel the show kept telling the audience how close they were but all I can really remember is JJ supporting JB, while JB was obsessed with his dad, or the treasure, or Sarah. I feel we never really saw him truly step up for JJ, and really support him or put him first. In fact I don't think we ever even saw them talk about Luke, it was all just implied through the narrative. I found it so frustrating. When the writers decided to do the time jump, I thought we were going to meet a slightly more mature group. At least I thought we’d encounter a JB that not only recognised JJ was struggling but took action to help him - like actually talked to him about his problems, helped him face what happened to him as a kid, so he could cope with life as an adult. Instead, he behaved like he always did, kind of ignoring JJ’s actions until he exploded at him.

In truth much of the story felt inauthentic to the other characters as well, and really, it’s all down to the writers’ lousy choices, and their obsession with setting up the final season. So the characters did not act like themselves, and we ended up with that bewildering episode on the boat where everyone ignored JJ, and then of course we had JB’s one awful intervention. The fact that JJ had to sort himself out in the end was just so horrible. It also fundamentally undermined what I thought this show was about - found family, and for a character whose friends were his treasure, the narrative scope of the season just felt totally cruel.

For me, your writing is really hitting on something important that the writers did not bother with when it came to JJ, or just abandoned when they decided to kill him – how much JB loved him, and that deep friendship means that you support the other person even when they are behaving badly, and you keep trying. In the end it seemed that JJ had to earn JB’s love by rescuing Sarah. It would have been far better if JJ fell off that boat, and JB jumped in to rescue him. Anyway, all of that is a long way of saying, that it’s wonderful and comforting to see the depth of their mutual love and friendship played out so beautifully through your writing. Thank you.

P.S. Really looking forward to Part 3 of The Best of a Bad Deal

I literally did not shut up.  So, like, here, have an essay!!

I do think the show more told us than showed us that JJ and JB were best friends, especially from the JB side of things.  However, I think the good acting and the dynamic between Chase and Rudy probably really sold us on it.  They were so familiar, so comfortable that it was easy to see the deep bond -- they acted like best friends, so we could easily believe they'd been inseparable since childhood.

I have plenty of criticism of JB in S1 in particular, wherein I think he was a pretty awful friend all around.  However, he was 16 and his dad was missing and he was desperate and scared -- and I generally think he's got valid reasons for being a bit of a jerk and oblivious to JJ.  I think the fact that JB's not even there for JJ's breakdown is a little weird -- and the fact that he's completely indifferent to JJ's safety also strikes me as a bit odd.

Though I do think the general idea would be that JB knows JJ so well and has known him so long -- that the abuse sort of goes unspoken.  He talks about JJ doing a JJ thing, which I think his way of indicating that he understands that JJ spirals sometimes and that it's just best to wait it out.  Is this the right thing to do?  I mean, debatable.  But it's probably a pretty normal response for a teenager who has no actual means of helping JJ in his situation -- especially when so much of JJ's trust probably stems from the fact that JB is keeping this secret for him. 

Which is to say, I can see it as complicated, and that JB has probably learned to wait out JJ's crashouts as a matter of course.

And I think that logic can be applied to most of S4 -- but I agree with you.  Things got wildly OOC in part two and they never recovered it at all, IMO.  JB didn't know about Groff as early as Kie, but even so, the whole group should have been a lot more concerned about those implications.  I mean, the fact that JB wants to run off and get married -- while JJ goes to his mother's grave for the first time?  I don't know, but that bothers me somewhat?  I don't care if JJ would push him away at first -- it's kind of a huge thing.  (Not to mention extremely traumatic, how it played out, which again, never got talked about and JJ just had to live with seeing his mother's dead body and stealing from it.  I mean, that's awful -- and the idea that JJ would want privacy is stupid.  JJ's got zero coping skills; he makes terrible choices. STOP LEAVING HIM ALONE.)

And then after Groff tries to kill JJ, I'm guessing there had to be conversations we didn't see.  But I mean.  JJ's father just tried to murder him.  Again, he's not going to be okay.  Even if JJ was emotionally well adjusted (he's not), that is going to be almost to deal with right away.  JJ taking all the blame for everything on the beach before they leave the OBX hurts me because yeah, JJ's made a lot of mistakes.  And precisely not one of his friends has been there for him.  He's still culpable, but he owns up to it all and then ultimately dies for it in the end.  So.  I mean.

The boat ride.  This is the point where I actually give up.  What happens on the boat ride makes so little sense to me that I actually struggle to call it canon.  I mean, JJ drinking himself into oblivion and wanting to die?  Yeah, I buy that.  But everyone else?  Did not make sense.  

Part of that is, again, really crappy editing.  Because in theory, would Kiara and Sarah be okay to have a little fun and play a game to pass the time?  Of course!  Honestly that makes sense.  But if that's one of the only scenes we see, it sets the tone for the entire trip -- and that's weird.  Kiara's boyfriend is suicidal.  I mean, maybe show her giving a damn??

I swear, the scenes they chose had the Pogues caring more about Rafe than JJ.  JJ they were just annoyed with.

As for the JB/JJ scene, uggggh.  Look, I think JB meant well. I do.  But it's like you might want to read the room.  JJ's literally drinking himself to death.  And he's got father issues like no other.  He's probably not ready to think about being a godfather or JB's impending fatherhood.  He can't.  Although this particular scene probably relates back to the maturity issue you mentioned.  Namely, JB's not mature enough to recognize the depth of JJ's problems and he's acclimated himself to the idea that JJ will crash out and then be okay.  And he doesn't have to do anything but wait it out and be ready to crack a beer with him when he's better.

(I will also have to imagine that Pope really didn't just sit there and stare when JJ expressed a desire to die.  I just.  I have no way of reconciling that with anything else.)

What happens AFTER the boat is actually even more damning in retrospect for me.  The scene between JB and JJ on the beach has become one of my least favorite moments in the show.  Because in that moment, JB reaffirms something absolutely awful to JJ.  For JJ, he's never been good enough for his friends.  He's always sort of derived value from what he can do for them.  His understanding of friendship is that he'll do anything for them -- and that means sacrificing himself, which he does repeatedly.

(Honestly you can read the race scene as this as well, even though he deflects on JB a bit, he takes the risk on himself -- so they don't have to.  He believes his value is about taking the risk for them.  He's just not always great at executing his plans.)

Anyway, on the beach, JB reinforces this, like you said.  He tells JJ, almost overtly, that he's forgiven and loved -- BECAUSE he saved Sarah.  That's not even an inferences; that's spoken dialogue.  The look on JJ's face when JB hugs him actually breaks my heart.  Because it clicks.  JJ's spent the whole boat ride thinking he was worthless and no one wanted him.  And the only reason he has to live?  Is to give himself up for his friends.

Note:  no one tells JJ they're happy he's alive.  No one asks JJ if he's okay.  No one comforts JJ in any actual way.

And JJ?  He says he's back.  Because he's able to be of service to his friends again.  He still has no inherent sense of self worth, but he's willing to put himself on the line for his friends -- because, in his mind, that's the only thing that's made him valuable since this whole thing started.

This isn't really meant to rail on JB because I love JB and he's messed up in his own right and he's got plenty of his own issues.  And really, again, these are still kids.  They're not equipped to deal with these things, and JB in particular is conditioned to wait JJ out.  If JJ had survived Morocco, it would have been "fine" in that sense and it all would have gone back to normal.

But JJ didn't survive Morocco.  Even as he died, his focus was on what he could do for his friends.  The idea that he "got everything he wanted" is tragic because he never thought he was going to get a future.  Those 18 months of happiness was more than he deserved in his own mind.  I imagine JJ was relieved it was over, in some ways.  And I'm guessing he was relieved he couldn't screw up anymore.  JJ suffered his entire life, and he suffered when he died.  It's really really a difficult ending for fans who loved him as much as we did.

And also, the ending monologue from JB.  I think this goes to show 1. how little the writers understood their own show and 2. how little JB understood JJ.  From the JB angle, the idea that he wants to celebrates JJ's life as triumphant is normal, I guess, but it is woefully lacking in understanding of what JJ had been through.  Ultimately, he simply honors JJ as the best friend they ever had.  Not as a person who was worth something in his own right.

Really, though, I think the writers were trying to build to a death that they didn't earn.  I think they wrote such a convoluted mess that it just didn't pan out as intended.  I think we were supposed to believe that JJ was truly "back" and that everything was back to normal in Morocco.  But that healing?  Wasn't remotely earned.  The fact that they had JB mention JJ's hardships as a passing thing is indicative of how little they understood JJ as a character and how little they cared about him as a character.

They made him a plot device in the end.  They didn't pay off his storylines.  They didn't let him learn or grow.  The storyline in S4 was supposed to build to JJ winning -- and again, I think the writers want us to think he DID win -- but it ultimately just became this depressing descent where JJ dug his own grave and the writers buried him in it.

The choice to keep JB out of the death scene was wrong.  The fact that they made the death so quick was poorly done.  Nothing about it was believable or rang true to anything we've seen before.  There was no weight.  No gravitas.  None of the reactions were earned.  And yeah, them burying JJ alone in the sand of a foreign country?  Is sincerely just the worst.  

The season did feel cruel, that's all.  I don't really wish anyone ill over this and I don't care at all about whatever happened behind the scenes.  This is on the writers at the end of the day, because they had infinite options and they not only picked the worst one -- but they put it into action so badly that it's almost impossible to take it seriously.  I do hope S5 is awful, I won't lie.  And I hope that the writers don't get any other OBX shows picked up. At this point, I can't even rewatch stuff anymore.  I want to put the SHOW behind me and just keep these characters for my own pursuits.

Because what this all started with -- and what the show made us believe in -- wasn't a treasure hunt.  It was friendship -- it was found family.  It was JJ in the hot tub, saying his friends were his family, and all he wants to do is the right thing.  That's the heart of it, and I think it all started with JJ and JB for a reason. I love all the character dynamics but my head canons about the two of them, making it up while trying to survive, is really fundamental to my understanding of this show and these characters.  No way in hell are JB and JJ even capable of adult relationships -- if not for one another.

Best of a Bad Deal Book Three -- I will have to open it up again soon!  I've been knee deep in fix-it fic right now, but there is so much of Book Three.  I do intend to divide my time, because I do really love that fic.  (And to all your points about JB and JJ, I have thought about, on and off, doing a companion POV of JJ's cancer journey from JB's perspective, because I just think there are some key elements and moments I had to give up when I chose a Kie POV.)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not breaking up a friendship?

Hi. So me (27F) and my partner (36M) have been together for over 3 years now. Relationship is great and I love him so much, and he loves me back. We start to actually make a living together.

But recently there has been a little conflict. I have a friend (30M, let's call him V) who I have known since I was 13 and him 16, so that's half of my life, and vast majority of my "conscious" life. And my relationship with him is.. well. I know, it will look and sound badly and I don't blame my boyfriend for feeling insecure but also I am not willing to cut V out of my life entirely.

Like I said we've known each other for so long I can't imagine my life without him. We've been saving each other from depression and SA. He used to have problem with d*ugs, I've been there for him and help him get clean and he's free of addiction for almost a decade now. And whenever I had my mental breakdowns he was also always there for me, he knows ways to calm me down when I have panic attacks. We've seen each other at our lowest and pulled ourselves up. We can almost read each other's minds at this point.

V has lived through all of my relationships too, he himself having his own. But our dynamic wasn't fully platonic, we did get close to each other inbetween the relationships and even thought and tried to be together. But we both have very explosive temperaments and felt like it wouldn't work cuz we would eventually hurt each other being this close so we decided not to be together in the awe of it ruining our friendship forever. Nevertheless we do have a history of going back and forth.

For the past couple of years V has lived in Canada, I live in Europe (I'd like not to disclose where exactly). He is also married to a man. (He's bi and so am I so that was one of the things that brought us close) So we rarely actually see each other in person, he does come to visit his son from previous relationship who lives with his mom, once or more a year. V does music for living so that allows him to be more mobile. And everytime he visits it's like no time has passed. We could not see e/o for a full year and then it's like he never left.

Like I mentioned, there has always been some mutual attraction between us, I admit he is a very handsome man but the thought of being with him gives me an ick. I just couldn't handle some of his lifestyle decisions and my current partner with his calmness, caring and purest heart is a true blessing for me. For the first time of my life I feel life this is "it". And V has quite different personality, he's not a bad person or anything but his dynamic is just not what I need from a life partner.

Couple of years back when he was abroad I was in a relationship that turned out to be abusive. I was with this crazy jelaous, controlling, toxic person and we fought almost daily to the point where I wouldn't leave my bed for hours because of anxiety and depressive states. One time the ex went too far with his hands and the tension between us was over the top. We lived together at the time. When I told V what happened he came over once ex was off to work, helped me pack my bags and leave the house and then he stayed with me in his family house for couple of weeks making sure I was ok. He even almost beat up that guy.

My partner was aware of this friendship and even met V once. My past with V wasn't the preffered subject at the dinner table so we didn't speak much about it but he never told me directly I should cut V off or that he doesn't want me to meet him. I'd say he was rather cool, as in cold, about the whole thing.

But recently V told me he is coming back to Europe for longer, claiming he wants to spend more time with his son and try to be a more present dad. I also know that him and his husband have been going through a crisis lately, but V hasn't said anything about separation or divorce.

When I told my partner about V staying in the country for some indefinite amount of time we had an argument. He said he doesn't feel comfortable when V is around me, that he has a very good reason to be mad and that he's hurt I didn't come up with the idea of limiting the friendship. I admit, I got a little carried away and angry. I said he is not the one to decide who can be in my life and who cannot and that I will not allow anyone to control my friendships. As in the mentioned abusive ex-relationship, that was very much the case and I developed some sort of PTSD. My ex was jelaous of me meeting with my family or beeing in the uni classroom and doing project with male friends and wanted me to not have anyone in my life beside him.

My partner then said he feels like he's some sort of a backup in case the relationship fails and that he fears we will end up together either way and that to move forward he needs to be sure he is the number one for me. I love him with all my heart and regarding the thing he said of me and V getting together... I wouldn't want it that way, V and I were very clear about it and talk about it if needed. But I understand my partner feels... abandoned in a way. I love him so much, he means the world to me but I also don't want to lose a friendship so dear and long whom I've been through almost everything together. I've known V for 14 years, my partner and I are together for over 3 and I have had a relationship longer than that already.

Am I the asshole for not pushing V away when my partner asked me to? Would it be the right thing to do?

What are these acronyms?

[allyriadayne]

yeah i don't get the whole daemon is a valyrian supremacist thing?

and from another anon:

Yeah why is Daemon the only one who gets called a Valyrian supremacist?

i posted this question to my twitter mutuals some time ago and got one answer that actually made so much sense when you really think about the issue. it goes something like this (sorry couldn't find the og tweet 😩): most people think of valyrian supremacy/blood purism with a harry potter background and the pureblood ideology when it's a completely different thing that doesn't actually happen in the show or books at all. and everything clicked!!

going back to daemon, show!daemon to be more specific, he does show a preference for reading the histories and knowing the language of old valyria but i wouldn't call it him being a supremacist (very weighty!) or feeling a specific superiority about it that it's not already tied to him being a prince and one of the highest ranking man in the realm. i think what most people forget about this is that targaryens are one of the last scions of a dead culture (well you'll never call a culture dead, only transformed because a part of it will always live in its people etc. but for clarity's sake. i know we are not here for an anthropology class) and to me it's normal that its member would want to preserve it in a way. viserys has his big lego model and the others have the language and their dragons as a way to connect with what it once was. i wouldn't call that a cultural superiority at all esp when daemon or any targaryen try to exterminate or oppress that which is not valyrian (again, very weighty terms! and i wish people would have more care when talking about these issues).

most of the examples i've seen about people calling daemon a purist come from 1) daemon sleeping with silver haired women 2) criticizing alicent's new decor 3) marrying laena/hating rhea 4) speaking old valyrian. which really doesn't cut it for me?? most can be explained by daemon being a hater in general. we know he hates otto and the hightowers because he's always thought they've kept viserys and him apart and therefore made viserys weak. he /would/ had a comment about alicent changing the decor and covering the dragon orgy murals. the silver haired women well, he's still the creepy uncle, we've known he's been fixated on rhaenyra for a while and it's probably also a manifestation of being cast out of the family since he was 16, an illusion of being close to his family. same thing with rhea, he doesn't hate her because she's not valyrian, i thought that was pretty obvious.

lyonel strong is the one who advises viserys to marry laena velaryon because she is of "pure valyrian stock", would you call him a blood purist? i mean there is also the issue that most men in westeros are very proud of their heritage and i wouldn't put daemon above them at all, he's squarely in the middle. would you call the northerners blood purists because most marry in the same area with descendants of the first men and don't care about southerners? i've always thought daemon marries laena in the show because she's one of the few people who could understand him and after spending almost 20 years with a wife who hated him and he hated in return, he wanted someone more compatible and who could share his hobbies (and of course, she grabbed his attention at the wedding and the storyline about the sea lord of braavos' son was someone laena wanted to get rid off too + rhaenyra marrying and him needing to forget her fast).

what i'm trying to say is that i understand there is a sort of need to keep the line "pure" but it is to keep the dragons inside the family and i wouldn't even call it purism because targs are marrying half targs like jocelyn baratheon, aemma arryn etc, at least in this side of the dance. on the other side, after it, it's another different issue altogether where targs start practicing exogamy more often. but i don't think daemon is more or less proud than other people in the same timeline even.

[sydneyshipsstuff]

answering both of the recent tag games in one since im lazy (so scroll for the questions below the bingo)

tagged by @professional-benaddict (sorry for responding so late lol) and because i dont have too many mutuals, tagging anyone who sees it & wants to do it!

I chose my baby Spider-Man/Peter Parkee, with a focus on the starker fandom!

1. How did you discover your fave?

spider-man movies -> video edits on insta/tiktok -> irondad fanfics on wattpad -> ao3 -> looking at starker in disgust -> becoming a part of the fandom

2. How long have you been a fan of your fave?

since homecoming! when it first came out but it took me a while to start interacting with the fandom

3. Do you write for your fave? (E.g. AU's, Drabbles, Fan Fics.)

sorta! i don't actively write, just kinda drabble sometimes and i mostly dont post that, plus helping others write, i do have drafts that have been in my docs for years though

4. Do you like what is canon about your fave?

i do but i feel bad for him! poor guy has nobody :((, but before endgame i was in love with canon.

5. Tell some of your headcanons of your fave.

•his spider abilities on top of the originals like purring, cant have peppermint, hibernates, etc

•his love of animals, always stopping on patrols to say hi to them or trying to keep the strays he finss

•being worthy of mjolnir and picking it up without knowing the significance

•that he worms his way into the hearts of everyone he meets

6. Do you draw for your fave? (E.g. Fan Art)

no i dont, but i love seeing others fan art obviously!

7. If your fave/s are portrayed by several actors, who are your fave portrayers?

basic, ik, but tommy.

8. Are you more into Books/ Comics/Films when it comes to your fave?

mostly the fanfics then anything, but the movies and comics are so entertaining.

9. Quote anything about what your fave has said.

this ones weird but when i went to new york i went out of my way to go to moma because of him mentioning it to tony

10. Quote your favourite line of your fave!

basic but the "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you." because even though its sad/semi unhealthy to put that pressure on yourself, i relate to it in a way and uphold myself to helping whenever i can.

11. Ever made a edit for/of your fave?

i dont think so? maybe photos but that would have been a while ago

12. Songs you associate with your fave?

anything to do w new york really

13. If your fave was real, do you think they'd like you?

i think so, if we meant in a natural way lolol, i try to be social and i think id be able to joke with him

14. Amongst your fave/s who do you think are you? (E.g. You have 5 faves, amongst the 5 of them you think of yourself as fave no.3)

skipping because i only am answering for the one

15. Do you know your fave origin story?

yes i doo, radioactive spider bite, yada yada, parents dead, yada yada, uncle shot, rip, grew up in queens & stayed there

16. In 1 word describe your fave’s aesthetic.

akward

17. Is/Are your fave/s famous on A03?

yes very much, but mostly for irondad

18. Ships that you like with your fave?

i do like irondad if thats even considered a ship, peter w tony, harley, steve, stephen, and bucky, either seperate or at the same time, and im open to other pairings too

19. Is/Are your fave/s well known?

yes very well

20. If your fave/s have a fandom, what do you think about the fandom?

i like them, idk if theyd like me now that ive gone to the dark side lol

21. Describe yourself using something your faves have said

oops kinda did this already for another question but, "I am Responsible. I…Oh crap. My backpack’s gone." I try to be responsible but i am very clumsy and forgetful lol, and i do a lot of stupid shit

22. If you would feed your fave/s something, what would it be?

as big of a meal as i could possibly make, very carby, probably pasta, get some meat on those bones and feed the super apetite

23. How do you see yourself in any of your fave/s?

i see the optimism/ akwardness in myseld as well, we are semi-close in age so i think that contributes to it

24. Ever taken a break from your fave/s?

sorta, it was very short and it was mostly in between going from irondad to starker as well as small breaks i took from everything lol

25. If your fave/s were to have a crossover, who and which character would they have a crossover with?

well they did have one with stephen and the other spidermen but i think it would be cool to see him really interacting w the women of marvel, aka kate, yelena or natasha (also rip), pepper, captain marvel, america chavez, etc.

[nanabrainrot]

Love, Bruce

Summary: the one where Alfred is sick of it

Mutual pining & idiots in love | Pattinson!Batman x F!Reader

Part 1 of “Love, Bruce”

“I think I love Bruce, Alfred.”

It took everything in Alfred’s body to not physically just begin cackling at the this “confession.” For the past 2 years, you had known Bruce Wayne and were pretty much his lone companion. Everytime you were in the streets, old women would beg him to propose, coo about your hypothetical children’s cuteness, ask “how long have you been together?”

That’s an amazing question! 0 days is always the answer, you would know. And how zero days after two years?

You were pussies.

“Wow, I would have never thought such a thing, Ms. (y/l/n)!” He started his schpiel. You grimaced, lips pursing as you stared at him bashfully over the rim of some tea he had prepared. Oh but it doesn’t end there, how could it? “I simply couldn’t tell with your wistful stares across the room or you hugging him like he’s your husband about to go to war, or the -“

“Okay! That’s enough!” you whined at him; was it that obvious? Were you just gawking at him like some schoolgirl staring at a boy? “…is it that obvious, Alfred?”

“Yes,” he snapped back immediately as if a rubber band. You narrow your eyes at his feistiness with you. Surely, you couldn’t be that obvious. You were a master of the poker face! A queen of hiding, of deception! Of lying! Well, avoiding all talk of these feelings for Bruce counts as deception by omission you guessed.

“You should tell him,” Alfred reassured, walking across the kitchen to the penthouse’s island you sat at, still gloomily staring into your steaming tea. Your face contorts immediately, as if you were a baby who just tasted a lemon for the first time. Confess? Did you look 16? You were a grown woman! Didn’t things just… fall together at this point in your life? If Bruce was into you, he surely would have said something!

“Are you kidding me, Alfred!? Look at me! I live in a studio and tell people their checkings’ balance all day! Bruce lives at the top of a penthouse and has a legacy,” you whined in exasperation. You had met Bruce at the bank, a week after Batman had stopped a robbery in your bank and saved your life, to switch from a corporate bank to the Gotham Mayoral Bank after hearing about your bank going under. You had never seen an account with so many zeros in your life until you met Bruce Wayne. You were just some lady who worked at a bank and Bruce was… was important.

You don’t think you could ever find it in yourself to tell him; maybe he even secretly thought of you as pathetic, let you stay around because he pitied. Treated you to dinners because a lot of weeks your staple meals were cheesy eggs, toast, and deli cold-cuts, took you to movies because you couldn’t see the newest flicks and make your ever rising rent at the same time. “Stop making that moody face,” Alfred grumbled, “just tell him.”

A sigh. “Okay! I’ll do it! I’ll do it-I’ll do it right now!” You exclaimed, forcing some weird mix of intimidation and adrenaline to tug your phone out and ring Bruce from his meeting. Alfred stood beside you, patting your shoulder as the phone rung. Ring. Ring. Still ringing -

“Hello? Is something wrong?”

You swallow once. A gulp. Why is your mouth so dry? Why’s your vision blurry? Are you gonna vomit right now -

“Nothing’s wrong! Just wanted to say I hope it hope it went well! Okay bye!”

“What? Is that all -“ Bruce’s voice is swallowed into a void, the air silent all but Alfred’s voice ringing in the air. You are a pussy. “You’ll get ‘em next time,” grumbled Alfred walking away from you to the counter where his neglected coffee waited. Yeah. Next time! You always have next time! You grin like you just heard you won the lottery and laughed: “Yeah, I always have next time!”

Two weeks passed by since then and Alfred passed the foyer at night and saw one thing: Bruce and you locked in a quiet hug before he had a bodyguard escort you home. You were both still by the door, your hand rubbing a circle on his back through the thin of his black tee that was his pajamas. You separated, grinned fondly, then parted.

Bruce has green tea before bed in the kitchen and, quietly from the island, Alfred hears him clear his throat as if to make an announcement. Alfred’s ears perk up, attentive to his upcoming declaration: “I think I love (y/n).”

A groan rips through Alfred in exasperation. Alfred surmises this would be easier if you two just had a language barrier and he takes note of the nearest brick wall to bash his head into. There were few things worse than watching a dog chase its tail in a circle.

Tagged: @raggedy-dxctor thank you inspiring me for this series !!!! <333

[coloredsolos]

Hey :-) I have a request for 16. "I -did- care about you, I just had no other choice." I hope you like it, if not that's absolutely no problem at all ♥ So it's a fem!reader and Colt and they secretly like eachother since forever when suddenly he has to leave for the mid-east war without saying goodbye or even telling her (maybe he was scared, he didn't want to hurt her or he just couldn't). A few days later she meets his parents randomly and when they tell her about it, she is angry of course, disappointed he simply left, thinking he doesn't care about her - apparently not even in a friendly way. But then some time later a letter for her arrives, where he apologizes to her, confesses maybe and whatever you can think of :) Lots of love for you!

SAYING GOODBYE IS SO HARD

pairing: colt grice x fem!reader

prompt: 16. “I -did- care about you, I just had no other choice.”

content: childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, colt is a sweetheart, character death, season 4 spoilers

wc: 0.6k

a/n: hiya!! sorry this took so long! my computer broke and it took a while to fix but i’m back now!! I hope you enjoy and lots of love ♡ not proofread

Running into the Grice family was the last thing you had planned on. In fact, you had planned on avoiding anyone in that family for a while. After Colt disappeared without a trace you swear you felt your heart break in two. He hasn’t even bothered to say goodbye. You just woke up and he was gone. However, after running into his parents, you were now at a loss for words. the air around you felt thin. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Colt’s parents had informed you, after you mentioned how he seemed to disappear, that he had left to fight in the mid-east war. You knew what that meant. And so with a quick apology, you muttered your condolences to his family, who had now lost Colt and Falco, before excusing yourself. 

He had left. You weren’t stupid. You remember how those devils took out so many of your nation’s soldiers the night they attacked. You had been with Colt’s family that night, since you weren’t a warrior candidate, you were left to see the destruction of Liberio from the internment zone. You were stunned. The Attack Titan’s rampage in Liberio was a surprise for one, and catastrophic as well. The deaths of so many innocent people, the stench of death in the air. You were scared. But Colt came back. He always came back. 

However, weeks passed after the news of the mid-east war. There was nothing. And the day the letter arrived you swear you felt your heart sink. Colt’s mother had hand delivered it to your door, tears in her eyes.

“Thank you for being so good to my son.” She would mumble before taking her leave. 

With shaky hands you opened the crisp, white letter.

“I’m sorry.” It would start out. You felt dread enter the pit of your stomach as you continued to read.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I figured if I didn’t say goodbye, then maybe, by some chance, I’d get to come back and see you again. But I should have known better. 

You don’t hate me… do you? I understand if you do. But I beg you to forgive me. I need to know you forgave me for leaving. I had to rescue my brother, avenge our people. 

I had to make you proud of me.

I figured maybe, if I proved my worth to the Marleyans, I could get a better life for mom and dads And you. 

I did care about you. I know you wouldn’t believe me. But I did do care about you. I’ll die caring about you. You are and always will be my best friend of course, but please know to me, you were more than that. I could see a life with you. A happy one. I hoped you could see one with me too.

So please, I ask you one thing, know I did care about you, I just had no other choice.”

Yours forever,

Colt

You watched as a drop of water landed on the letter you held. Was it raining? No, you weren’t outside. Reaching your hand up to touch your face, you were met with a wet sensation. You were crying. He wasn’t coming back, and there was nothing you could do about it. There was so much you had left to say to him that would never come to fruition. He didn’t even know how you felt. How you cherished every minute you spent together, or how you didn’t want to live if your life didn’t have him in it. You knew that saying goodbye was hard, but not getting to say goodbye was a million times worse. 

[daddyjackfrost]

hii! from your prompt list can i request 16 with sakusa?

hi!! yes ofc! y’all do be requesting a lot of angst tho. don’t hate me when your heart hurts😛🥰

prompt 16: “we’re not together.”

sakusa x f!reader

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort (post -timeskip)

Dating a high end volleyball player was hard.

No one told you of the sacrifices you would make and the turbulence of emotions you would feel. Still, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You hadn’t been with Sakusa long. You had known him for a few years but you two were just mutual friends. It was only when you moved to his town did you and Sakusa start getting close.

Your relationship was relatively new.

Sakusa had officially asked you on a date two months ago, and you two became official a week later. Although your status had changed, things with Sakusa were calm and hadn’t really changed.

There was a solid base of trust and respect that held your relationship together, and you knew that you and Sakusa were meant to be.

You were confident in your relationship. And you knew that Sakusa was a relatively private person, so when he asked to keep the relationship on the low until he was comfortable, you immediately agreed. You didn’t need the world to know you were dating him. You knew, and that was enough.

However, it did hurt when you couldn’t go to games with him, or leave with him. Due to his own, and his teams fan base, Sakusa was always surrounded, and he knew that if you were seen with him, the questions and press would be endless.

You understood where he was coming from, and respect his decision. But you told him that you wanted to at least where his jersey, which he reluctantly agreed too.

So, here you were. Sitting in your boyfriend’s jersey in the middle of the bleachers as fans cheered their loudest.

This game had been particularly long. Both teams unwilling to lose. You glanced down at your watch and frowned. You had taken the bus to get here and the last bus left ten minutes ago. You shrugged, I’ll tell Omi to take me.

One hour and a mere three points later, MBSY Black Jackals were celebrating their hard earned win. You smiled brightly, cheering with the crowd.

People rushed down the the floor, trying to get close to the players. You stayed back, letting the fans have their fill of sweat and one-sided adoration.

After the coach yelled for the gym to clear out, and once it did, you waited for Sakusa to take a shower. You smiled at Bokuto and Hinata, who both grinned at you, waving.

You felt eyes on your back but you shook them off. You needed to talk to Sakusa and tell him you needed a ride home, or to his place.

After about twenty minutes, Sakusa exited the locker room. He wore black sweatpants and a MBSY hoodie. His hair was went and his curls were on full display.

You stared at him with a slightly gape smile. Sakusa was the most beautiful man you had ever had the pleasure of seeing, and he was all yours.

You smiled at him when you caught his eye. “Omi, you did so well!”

Sakusa smiled at you, his eyes crinkling. It was a rare sight, but with you smiling at him and praising him, Sakusa couldn’t help it. He walked towards you, but you could see his eyes darting behind you and around you.

He was scared someone would see.

Sakusa and you walked out of the gym, hand in hand. It had been almost an hour since the game ended, and as you both walked and engaged in small talk, the idea of people still being around was not on your mind.

“Hey, Omi,” Sakusa turned his head slightly to look at you, “can I ride with you? The bus isn’t coming at this hour.”

Sakusa nodded, squeezing your hand. “Of course.”

He hated seeing you get on the bus after games when he would much rather have you seated beside him, but he wasn’t ready for the questions or the media that would come with a public relationship. Sakusa hated attention, and he knew that he had dedicated fans. The last thing he wanted was to make himself or you uncomfortable.

When the automatic doors opened, Sakusa immediately dropped your hand.

People hadn’t left. Fans surrounded the doors and your eyes widened. Curious and heated eyes eyed you and Sakusa, and your now unlinked hands.

Sakusa took a step away from you and your heart twisted. With his mask covering most of his face, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling or thinking.

Questions came blaring at Sakusa about you.

“Are you guys dating?”

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“You’re dating that?”

“Are you guys together?”

You licked your lips at the looks you received. Some were filled with disgust, others with hatred. You now realized why Sakusa had wanted to keep your relationship private, but there was no point in hiding it now.

They had seen you holding hands, and you were waiting for Sakusa to say something.

And he did.

Just not what you were expecting.

“No, we’re not together.”

Your heart dropped into to your stomach and you slowly turned to face him. With wide eyes and a frown, you stared at Sakusa’s blank eyes.

Yes, you hadn’t been together long, but for him to blatantly disregard your relationship made you feel like he was embarrassed of you.

And maybe he was.

Fans turned their heads to look at you for your reaction. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried your best to smile. You understood where Sakusa was coming from, but he has no right to embarrass you or ignore your relationship.

You were worth more than that.

You pulled your sweater tighter around you. “Yes,” you said. You looked at Sakusa in the eyes and then said, “We’re not together.”

You pushed past the crowd and began walking down the street. You could hear the crowd firing questions at Sakusa but their voices fell flat on your ears. It wasn’t fair to Sakusa pick and choose when he wanted to ‘be’ in a relationship. Instead of flat out saying that you weren’t together, he could have chosen not to answered.

You scoffed, tired of his games. Now you were waking alone at night, all because Sakusa was too afraid to deal with the outcome of a public relationship.

The air was chilling and you were afraid. Walking home in the dark was dangerous, and you knew that. But there was no other way to get home.

Or so you thought.

A silver car pulled up beside you and you almost started crying until you saw a familiar silver-haired man poke his head out. Bokuto stared at you with disbelief. “Y/n? What are you doing walking at this house?”

You blinked a few times before chuckling. Of course Bokuto would be your knight in shining armour.

You shrugged, spreading your arms. “Just walking home after my boyfriend told everyone we’re not together.”

Bokuto frowned. He parked the car and nodded at you. “Come, I’ll give you a lift home.”

You smiled at Bokuto and nodded, walking to the passenger side and slipping in. You sighed in content. His car was warm.

“Bo, you played really well today.” Bokuto grinned at you, drumming his hands on the steering wheel.

“Thanks, y/n! Did you see my receive at the end? Wasn’t it amazing?”

You laughed, telling him it was. Sitting with Bokuto and talking like friends took your mind off Sakusa, who was sitting in his own car, frowning.

When you got home, you thanked and said goodbye to Bokuto, immediately making your way to your bed. Your phone rang and you ignored it, knowing who it was.

You slipped under your covers and shut your eyes, too tired to change or do anything. Your heart still hurt from Sakusa’s words and you told yourself you’d shower and change your bed sheets when you wake up.

Three hours later, your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your doorbell and loud knocking.

You groaned and got out of bed, fixing your shirt. You opened the door as you yawned, and your eyes fell on Sakusa. He stood rigidly outside your door. His eyes wide with concern and his fist raised to knock.

You blinked a few times before shutting the door on his face.

“Y/n!” Sakusa quietly shouted. “Open the door.”

You shook your head, and then realized he couldn’t see you. “No. Go away, Kiyoomi. I’m tired.”

Sakusa sighed, slightly leaning against your door. When he drove down the street you had walked on, only to find you gone, he panicked. He had driven down the road twice and around the block to look for you but he couldn’t find you. Sakusa had never felt so guilty in his life.

When he tried calling you, he got no answer. It wasn’t until Bokuto had texted him that he accidentally had his knee pads and had dropped you off that his heart had settled a little.

The knowledge of you being in a car alone with Bokuto made Sakusa slightly angry. But then he realized you wouldn’t have been with him if he hadn’t been such a coward and a terrible boyfriend.

“Please, y/n,” you heard Sakusa’s strained voice come through the door. “I need to see you.”

You sighed and opened the door, walking to your sofa so Sakusa could let himself in. You sat crossed legged on the sofa, hugging a pillow.

Sakusa silently walked in, gently shutting the door behind him. You stared at him through tired and slightly annoyed eyes.

Sakusa walked up to you, scratching the back of his neck. You gently shut your eyes, tired.

“I tried calling you.”

You scoffed, opening your right eye to stare at Sakusa’s awkward stance.

“Congratulations.”

Sakusa let out a sigh, and then awkwardly shuffled towards the couch, sitting beside you, but not close to you.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I shouldn’t have said that we weren’t together.”

You sighed, opening up both your eyes and laying the pillow on your lap. You turned your head to face Sakusa and your eyes slightly widened. Sakusa was slightly hunched, and his lips were pulled into a frown, his eyes a cloud of emotions you couldn’t decipher.

“What would you have said, Kiyoomi?”

Sakusa turned his head, meeting your eyes. “What do you mean?”

You cleared your throat. “You said you shouldn’t have said we weren’t together. What would you have said instead, then?”

Sakusa was silent. He knew that you were tired of him brushing you off when it came to your relationship in public and he felt terrible. But Sakusa wasn’t ready for the media and attention he knew that he would get.

“I... don’t—”

You sat up straighter, cutting Sakusa off.

“Kiyoomi, I know that you’re not comfortable with a public relationship, and I totally understand that, but you completely shut us down tonight. I had to walk home alone, and who knows what would have happened if Bokuto hadn’t come.”

Sakusa’s frowned deepened.

“I just... I don’t know. I guess I want to be treated like your equal and not someone you can just brush off when it’s convenient for you.”

Sakusa’s eyes widened and he sharply turned his head to face you. “You are my equal, y/n.”

You let out a small laugh. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Silence washed over you both, and you stared at your feet. You were in stalemate. You couldn’t tell Sakusa that you wanted him to reveal your relationship. You would never do that. But you didn’t want him to completely shut you down in public either.

Sakusa cleared his throat, and when you lifted your head, your eyes slightly widened. He was much closer than he was before.

With a hesitant pause, Sakusa gently put his thin pale hand on your knee. You watched through careful eyes.

Sakusa rarely ever ignited touch with you.

“I’m genuinely really sorry, y/n. I was only thinking for myself, only considering how I would feel.”

You slightly nodded, confirming his words.

“Come with me to the game tomorrow.”

You lifted your eyes to meet his, surprised with his words. When you really looked at him, past the gentleness in his eyes, you saw promise.

There was no sign of nervousness. No indication of uncomfortableness.

“I am coming to the game tomorrow.”

Sakusa shook his head, gently rubbing your clothed knee unconsciously. “No, I mean,” Sakusa licked his lips, suddenly self-conscious. “Come with me tomorrow.”

You raised an eyebrow. Confused at what he was insinuating.

“As my girlfriend.”

You stared at Sakusa, waiting for him to take back his words.

“Kiyoomi... I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

Sakusa shook his head, a small gentle smile on his lips. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You stared at him, a look of shock on your face.

Sakusa pulled back, his lips pulling into a slightly wider grin. Your own lips lifted into a smile and you both stared at each other with goofy smiles and gentle eyes filled future promises.

“If you ever embarrass me like that in public though,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “I’ll tell the world you only eat blue teddy bear gummies.”

“Consider me threatened.”

hehe. angst refund @elektrosonix ? even though this is angst BUT there’s comfort at the end!

taglist: @h-grangerstudies @elektrosonix @snoozless @ackerpotato @asterroidd @rinrinniesstuff @bokuatsubro @literaleftist @howcanyoubreathewithnozaire @addicedtoeverythinganime @felixsamour @megumeee @aghashiii @fail-big

[charmixpower]

Rewatching season 1 (and actually paying attention to Sky to figure out what the fuck everyone is talking about): Part 2

EP 6:

Bloom: who are the Trix?

Musa: lol, that's the nickname we gave them

...the Trix eventually start calling themselves this right???? Nfkskdne that's, um, Icy are you ok??

Why do we never get to see the spring of light? That would of been a cool part of the palace

Ok but how the fuck does Bloom having the dragon fire even work?? Did the great dragon just randomly decide on a planet to bestow God powers on?? Fuckin help

I like to think that Domino was the first thing created by the great dragon and their related to diminutive dragon's that are the closest to the great dragon out of everything in the magical universe. God's second cousin if you will

Still op as fuck

None of this girls know the myth on how their dimension was created

"until dark forces attacked Domino and put out the dragon flame. The magical dimension hasn't been the same since." She's talking like the dragons flame was a physical object in Domino that played an important role of the upkeep of the dimension??? Help

I love how where the Dragon went is never explained. Like god took a nap, he's gone now

FARAGONA YOU KNOW SOMETHING

Tecna and Bloom: BITE BITE KILL KILL

Flora and Stella: ummmmmm, but how tho

Musa is just sitting there

I love how these idiots are screaming at a ring

Darcy is so upset about her nose and Stormy can barely cast a spell she's so sleepy

Icy on the other hand is fine and pissed as fuck

Apparently Stella's scepter doesn't have the power of the dragon flame?? Or not enough to be of any use??? Idk

The Trix are very lucky to have a room connected to a secret tunnel

The Trix are fucking screaming in the middle of the night, how does no one notice these fools

I love how these girls instantly decide to touch everything

Stella is so happy to have her ring back 🥺 which IS WHY SHE SHOULD HAVE IT IN LATER SEASONS—

Ok, ok, ok, ok, plot hole

Stella has her ring back, why does she not teleport them out???

If cloud tower is alive is it fucking with them??? If so can Flora sense that??

Bloomy is so impulsive

Griffin is such a weird and cruel woman to random teenagers and for what??

Tecna: fuck this place

Bloom: what if they have a book about me 🥺

Tecna: Bloom, that's fucking stupid. Why would cloud tower have a book about you when you entered the magical world like two weeks ago

Bloom: :0

Griffin...you are in your 30s+...why are you playing pranks on 16 year olds

Musa: !!! Oh FUCK this place

They do magic convergence!! But not true convergence, they just attack at the same time

Why are you running and not flying

Flora is the only one here smart enough to fly

Stella: We have a problem

Stella: not any more

Season 1 is fucking unparalleled. Stella punches Kunt, Tecna body slams doors, can't wait for more

Musa is so fucking terrified of this bug 🥺 she's literally shaking 😭 and Stella is so ready to protect her 🥺🥺🥺

Stella has set the room on fire

"Thanks a lot Stella" Musa :((((( stop being mean to Stella :((((((

The other "worst pair" from s2 twinning witches, gets moments of mutual dislike (Tecna and Bloom), but Musa is always the one on the offensive with Stella and Stella hasn't really done anything

Musa come back here and explain why you isolate between baby, angry, and sad

It wouldn't be hard to make this mutual bc Stella is known to have foot in mouth syndrome and Musa is hyper sensitive and holds grudges like it's her god given duty

Bloomy you have fire power's please at least try to control the fire

Daphne is so quick with it

Musa is so fucking baby when she isn't trying to be cool

Someone help her she doesn't know how to express emotions healthy

Flora should of gone first....she'd the fairy of plants...fire is the most dangerous for her

Stella: Well it sure did get us out of a HOT SPOT

Tecna: hahaha. Stella. Your so funny. I just bust a gut

Musa: *gags*

Stella confirmed pun liker and Tecna/Musa confirmed pun haters. This is amazing

A whole EP dedicated to this ring and it's just forgotten about

Poor Musa is suffering the most of getting no sleep 🥺

Fragonda: now what do you have to say for yourselves

Tecna: three witches from cloud tower tried to KILL Stella and STOLE HER HEIRLOOM. We went to get it back. Maybe tell your ""Colleague"" not to have murderous bitches at her school

OOO this is literally Faragonda and Girselda's worst fucking moment I swear to got this episode makes me hate these two so fucking much. This nearly gets the Winx KILLED

I'm going to attack Fragona with my teeth

Musa is genuinely upset that Fragonda might think their naive. Girl care so much about what others think of her

In my rewrite Faragona is going to face so many fucking consequences for this shit

Tecna is going to TEAR INTO HER, she won't hold anything back

EP 7:

When the Winx nearly die this episode I promise Tecna will also scream at you for putting them into this situation Griselda 💚 you can have your own little character arc about being nicer

Does these two episodes piss anyone else off for their flagrant disregard for the girls safety

OMG. "It wasn't a joke!" Tecna is autistic confirmed!!!! Every autistic has gone though this

Flora: it's not hard to use a broom :) want me to show you how?

Tecna: Nah. I'm sure I can figure out how to use these primitive implements

Flora watching Tecna out a bucket on her head: are you sureeee?

Tecna: of course!

Flora, clearly amused: are you really really sure you don't want any...help :)

Tecna: I can handle the situation Flora. Don't worry

Flora: (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

Tecna, using a broom on a painting: see!

Flora: indeed, I see

Tecna: I think I might of done something wrong

Flora: now would you like me to help you?

GOD FLORA AND TECNA'S DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD

Flora is the only one who understands, despite being the smartest one here, she's also stupid as fuck

Plus Flora is just so subtly mocking, love her

Musa is going to attack Stella for being so entitled....this really should of been where Musa's dislike of Stella started. Or at least something like this happening sooner

"you'll be on guitar"

Stella: Hey! You want me to break a nail?

"WEAR GLOVES" "RUBBER IS BAD FOR MY SKIN"

The girls are fightinggggg

Bloom committed violence

Stella: a tough battle just ended, and I won by a landslide!

Stella why are you so perfect

Is Girselda ok?? Go do something with your life woman instead of bother 16 year olds

Ughhh mental Girselda, come back to me, I need some good teacher representation and if I cannot find if I will completely fuck up other characters to make it

Riven: Good morning disgusting rich bitches, I'm going to cause problems on purpose

DID BRANDON BRING THE DOG?!

I want this man's hand in marriage

The Trix are just openly talking about committing murder what the fuck

MIRTA!! MIRTA!!! MY SWEET BABY GIRL!!!

Mirta...baby I love you. Don't get into arguments with the Trix

I love how Mirta has freckles (≧���≦)

Stormy fucked up all the drinks at her table just to laugh at Mirta. Why isn't everyone talking about how Stormy is the best Trix

Poor Lucy and Mirta.....

Damn it was lucky that there were still ppl at Alfea.... But what about people who don't like concerts??? Shouldn't they also still be at school?

You fuckers tricked these poor guys into helping you clean didn't you??

Sky is the only one here that has a good outfit. Those are, in fact, sentient people clothes

Riven is having a fucking moment, but the magenta on magenta is so fucking funny and he so clearly went "well it matches my hair....." That I am forced to like it, it's really boring tho

BRANDON IN HIS PREP ERA. Ok but, imagine Brandon pretending to be a prince gets him to try different styles and now 50% of his clothe is prep nonsense and the other 50% is gym rat that just figured out what a neon is. I think someone would attack him

Looking at Timmy I've never understood s1 Riven more. I also want to shove him into a locker. Why the fuck are you standing like that??? He's trying too hard to be pathetic smh

I love Brandon and Sky going "yeah, sure. I'll accept this as the way my day is going to go."

Timmy can't even catch a broom. How did you pass ANY of your physical classes

Riven: the audacity of lying to me AND expecting me to clean??? Excuse you?!

Riven is just fucking standing there, blank faced. What fucking emotion is that??? He looks dead inside

Riven: I cannot glare disbelieving at you people any harder

I love that there's just a random musical in this episode, Musa I love you

Flora is so gorgeous in her s1 casual party outfit. Why was this only seen once. She's soooo pretty

Stella and Bloom however look like pre-teens

Tecna your so cute and nONE OF YOU ARE WORTHY OF HER

Timmy........why the fuck did you ask Tecna if she wanted to dance if you didn't want to?? Are you just agreeing with her??? I mean vaild, if ***I*** got to be around the one and only Tecna I would also simp, but at least have a plan

Musa is so fucking great. Look at my girl dance!!!

S1 Riven is utterly nonplussed

This man's enegry

Riven's hobbies include: being an asshole for no reason, trying to look cool and failing, being utterly pathetic—

The vaccums are made to find and store powerful magical objects.... Tell me why they weren't used in s2/s3

These bitches just casue problems on purpose

Brandon in his prep era is making me go though multiple emotions at once

Brandon: woah woah woah there

Brandon: I've barely kissed Stella tonight, I'm not leaving until I at least get to—

UH OH TIME TO PANIC NOW

I love how all the guys just have their weapons......is there a reason y'all are armed at all times??

What ever the FUCK is wrong with Timmy's sleeves is making me crave violence

Tecna: a big heavy creature

Riven: Oh golly! O would of never guessed

(JFKWKDKD RIVEN SAYS GOLLY?!)

Tecna: it's two and a half meters tall, and weighs close to a ton. It's fur is bristly, it has horns, and multiple clawed limbs. It also has a musky odor

Tecna: now is that better

DRAG HIS ASS QUEEN

Also why does no one do anything with the information she provided. Do these boys not have a class on monster types???? Does none of the shit she's saying ring a bell??? Come on! Tecna dropped a gold mine of information, one of you use your brains

Riven has finally pissed off Musa!! She is gaining awareness of the fact that he's a asshole. S3/4 makes this almost annoying in retrospect, but I have to remind myself that the real Rivusa peeked in s2 then left the show

Musa, who doesn't have access to her magical powers and isn't physically strong: Says who!!!!!

The power of wanting to make Riven look stupid us just THAT STRONG

The best part about Timmy is that he has a fucking gun. But they made the gun work in the LEAST cool way possible. Just let Timmy shoot someone

Someone please give Riven a shield or something. You have a one handed weapon, pick up a shield

Musa...... Your are so fucking stupid, sooo fucking stupid. If wasn't aroace I'd want to kiss you

They're all curled up in a huddle because only Bloom could remember they don't have powers. Jfc

Flora fell :(((((( poor Flora isn't all that active is she

MUSA WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU RUN PAST?!

Me and the writers are gonna have to fight on this one

Stella fucking dragging Flora to safety, we Stan one queen

Poor girlies 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Tecna fucking JUMPED OVER THE MINATAUR

From most active to least active, in canon, it apparently goes: Aisha, Tecna, Stella, Musa, Bloom, Flora

Stella...stop gloating before your get hurt

Musa just fucking kicked this thing in the head lfjwosksjrjjekekekwkr then got PUNCHED

her bones are milk now

DONT THINK ITS CUTE, DONT THINK ITS CUTE

S1 RIVEN DOESN'T DESERVE MUSA, DO NOT THINK ITS CUTE

FUCK ITS CUTE

Damn my stupid Rivusa shipper heart, s1 Riven is the enemy!!!

I love how Sky puts an arm in front of Musa. Opnion reaffirmed. Sky is a nice dude

I'm going to attack s1 Riven 💓💓💓💓 I'm going to throw him out a window

S1 Riven makes s2 Riven so much sweeter, yet I must suffer though his NONSENSE

Someone help this idiot, he doesn't know what a priority is

Someone PLEASE get this man a senseical motivation and STAT

WHAT DOES THAT PRINCE OF DARKNESS QOUTE MEAN DARCY, WILL YOU EVER EXPLAIN

Stella is so ready to help love her

Bloom: and you thought my last idea was fucking insane, WATCH THIS!!!

Tecna: I'm going to die here

Riven. Please. For once in your life. Shut up. Flora was being cute

Flora: what if we get into more trouble

Bloom: what if we DIE

I can't get over Brandon's prep era

Riven instantly noticing when someone is in there....bro imagine if he got moments of being tolerable but only when he was focused so he didn't have time to be a bitch that would be funny

Sneaking into the room was so adorable bfjwjndbdnens I wanna trap him in a bottle

Riven turned on the lights right after Bloom spoke be he's THAT dramatic

HI FARAGONA, HERE TO SEE HOW YOU NEARLY GOT YOUR STUDENTS FUCKING KILLED

CONSEQUENCES!!! CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!! CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's well in their right to start screaming at her now

Sky: jfc this girl attracts danger like flies to honey........I can accept this

Riven: This has got to be like, the 15th worst day of my life

Timmy: .... You wanna clarify that one?? We nearly died

Riven: yes bitch?? And??

Brandon: shut the fuck up you lot. This day was AMAZING

Brandon: I! GOT! TO! KISS!

Brandon:🌟STELLA🌟

Timmy: we nearly DIED

Brandon: As Riven would say, personal problem

Riven: go fuck yourself

Thank you s1 Riven. You were only acceptable when you weren't taking

The girls should of gotten to scream at Fragonda and Griselda, just a little bit, as a treat

EP 8:

Oh god it's the fucking rose festival episode

Daphne: COME HERE, BLOOM HURRY IT THE FUCK UP

Btw when I said that Nymphs don't have wings and their just tall, this is what I ment

Daphne is literally just here to explain the plot to Bloom in s1 and then she's completely fucking forgotten for s2 and s3

Flora goes home for mother's day and so does Tecna. Neat

Mothers must be SUPER IMPORTANT on magix if you get a day off for them

Really Winx? Only Stella, Bloom, and Musa aren't going home? No one else with an estranged or dead mother

Stella says her parents are estranged in the beginning of s1 but now apparently it's a secret and her parents are only now getting divorced

This show doesn't know what a continuity is

MUSA BABY NOOOO

Stella is so sweet, I love her

And Musa trying her best to be positive

Musa I love you

Brandon: Stella~ Stella~ Stella~

Sky: do you think—

Brandon: I do not

"There is a growing collaboration between the fairies of Alfea and the wizards of red fountain"

I—

Number one, you weirdo bitch, why do you CARE

Number two, wizards??? WIZARDS??? ARE YOU TELLING ME RIVEN IS A WIZARD???? BRANDON IS A WIZARD???? COME THE FUCK BACK HERE GRIFFIN

Griffin: and I don't like it!! This could change the balance of power >:(

She says....like red fountain and Alfea already only do things together and exclude Cloud Tower

"Today there is the insufferable rose festival going on in the city"

Griffin has mommy issues confirmed

Bro... Why are you spying on a group of 16 teen-year-olds? Please get a life

I kinda love Sky's s1 civilian. He's not trying too hard like Brandon and he doesn't look boring like Riven. He's wearing a very nice T-shirt and some cool pants. Good for him

Why did Riven go with Sky and Brandon? Like genuinely. He doesn't like any of these people.

Griffin really thinks making Riven more pissy than usual will ruin the bond between ALL RF and Alfea students

Like an idiot

I'm completely inconsolable

Musa: He's a strange fella, but I'd really like to get to know him better

I wish Riven was written to be hyper defensive instead of always on the offensive with his ego bc that would make Musa's comment make more sense

Plus it would differentiate Musa and Riven's reactions to hostility. Musa seems like the type of person to preemptively get mad and go on the offensive, while Riven more reacts after he thinks someone has slighted him but because he's paranoid this happens constantly

This moment is so gorgeous

Riven doesn't like crowds....my anxiety headcanons are growing more powerful

WHERE THE FUCK DID STELLA COME FROM

What ever, their cute and I love this

Brandon is the best looking guy here and he gets brown eyes....Winx club designers really said brown eye bitches take the win today

Riven...why did you even come

Riven seeing a race: finally! Something to distract me from my mommy issues—

Bloom....why are you approaching Riven?? It's like sticking your hand into a piranha infested lake. He's going to be a dipshit

Brandon: *a very gentle ribbing*

Riven: this!!! Is!!! An!!!! Attack!!!!!

I have skipped the moment that makes my hyper empathy and second hand embarrassment almost painful to deal with—but Bloom fucking destroying any one who has the fucking audacity is amazing

I'd like to clarify that this moment pissed me off so much as a child I held a multi year grudge against Riven untill I rewatched s2 this year

Anyways, in my opinion, I think Riven was written to be TOO unlikeable for his character arc and s1 Riven will only not be stuck into a blender because he needs to become s2 Riven

I'll just turn the blender on low, this is fine

I think I've mis-characterized Bloom as anxious when she just has low self esteem, autistic and full of rage

My bad

Bloom: ah! I didn't mean to! Riven I'm sorry

I— I'm genuinely curious about which part she didn't mean to do

I think it's bc Bloom has been bullied and she's low key recognizing this as bullying? But the difference is that Riven is a agressive dipshit who definitely deserved it

See this is why they should of made Riven more likeable before he joined the Trix

1) so Bloom would have a reason to feel bad

2) so the audience would be upset that he went in the wrong direction

3) to explain why Musa liked him in the first place

Just give him some more nice moments and rip them all away once he's ~evil~, you went too far in making unlikeable and made him hateable even before he was a villan

Come on guys, all the official stuff about Riven says he has a good heart underneath all the emotional issues, we should see that before the season finale

You guys wanna know something funny? I was dead set on hating Riven when re-watching. It's just his little "I have a heart" speech and his silly little s2 actions convinced me to become what I am today

Stella: he had it coming

Love that energy

S1 Riven you little asshole, please do (1) self reflection

Riven: I don't need friends

Riven: they disappoint me

Darcy: I could make him worse

Stormy: oh fucking hell, she's doing the thing

I love how it's Icy who decides that Riven will be manipulated over to their side. Icy is the one that sees his use and Icy is the one that wants Riven around to help them

It's just interesting that Icy was the most interested in Riven hanging around them

Bloom was so distracted by a lady that looks like Daphne she didn't even question where Timmy came from

Bloom is so upset about publicly humiliating Riven's bitchass, she's so nice

Fake Timmy is disturbing

The Trix just standing there over Bloom is also creepy

Darcy is already so down to protect Riven. Girl you have even less of a reason to be into him

Stormy is here to bully her sisters 💗 Stormy is aro and is allergic to romance

Icy: *mocking Darcy for romantic feelings*

Icy....babe...I'm so sorry for what s3 and s5 did to you—

Bloom: hiii....

Stella: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO!! I WAS WORRIED SICK

Riven genuinely looking kinda happy

God I hate him in s1, yet I feel so bad for him. I just wanna put him in therepy and shake him a little bit. He doesn't deserve what's coming next

Ugh he can't even be nice when getting a gift, tragic. They REALLY wanted s1 Riven to be unlikable huh?

Stella: um.... Oh no. Who gave you that helmet?!

Bloom: OH FUCK

My second hand embarrassment is making this episode actually painful

Ahhh s1 3d animation my beloved

Does no one see this?!

BLOOM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!

I skipped most of this episode bc lord have mercy my second hand embarrassment is STRONG, but s1 Riven becoming evil makes so much more sense now

Bloomly.... God no fucking shit Riven thought Bloom tried to murder him, imagine this happening to you it's so fucking sideways

Like him joining the people that nearly fucking killed him with a Minotaur is so fucking stupid it physically hurts, but if he didn't know who the Trix were this would be the most senseical decision anyone made all season

Yes it's dumb that apparently she gave him a fucked helmet, found that it wasn't quite doing anything, then attacked him properly—but this show is fucking dumb so I'll take it

Hello Darcy, here to make Riven fall in love with you to use him for your own personal gain huh? Riven's therapist will be ever aquatinted with you in the future

Riven FINALLY BEING SOFT, you could of given us slightly more moments of this before so the audience actually feels bad when he joins the bad guys but what do I know

Darcy looks so gentle. For just one moment. Then she goes back to looking threatening

Stormy: disgusting

Girl how did you think Darcy was going to convince Riven

Darcy is being so smug

NO POOR BLOOMY SHE FEELS SO BAD

You think when Riven throws himself off of Cloud Tower she'll blame herself for that too??

EP 9:

Oh Daphne my beloved. I wish you were a real character in this show or not at all because your disappearance in s2 is strongly felt

Tbh if Daphne were to be revived I would of loved for it to happen in s2 or s3 but have her be in a coma. So there's at least a reason she's gone after s1 that isn't just "plot doesn't need her anymore"

or just have her dead before everything starts and have a magical hologram in s1 that Daphne made before she died leading Bloom

Daphne's sad voice hurts my feelings

Flora being kept up with Bloomy's nightmare

Flora is so anxious about her friends 🥺🥺🥺 she's so freaked out about Bloom

Idk why she doesn't wake Bloom up herself

Stella is having a moment she hasn't been sleeping well

Tecna: btw theirs a woman in your mind talking to you though your dreams

All of the Winx: this is normal

I wonder why Stella is being so fucking weird about Bloom's dreams in perticualr.... It's because she hasn't been sleeping since huh?

How does Stella not realize—this EP is so weird

Bloom is so fucking grumpy

"Daphne, one of the nine nymphs of Magix. The supreme fairies who ruled over the magic dimension during the eons following the dragon's disappearance"

FUCKING WHAT.

This librarian can't do shit 😔 tragic

Stella really trying to justify herself to Flora ripp

STELLA REALLY SAID IMMA PISS OF EVERYONE TODAY

She made Flora angry. Watch your step before Musa or Tecna punch you

BRO STELLA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON, MUSA WAS LITERALLY JUST SITTING THERE

Stella: my mother told me to pick my battles

Stella: then she fucked off and hasn't spoken to me in 5 years, so I'm picking all of them

Stella: like we all know when she sees Timmy, out friend Tecna blushes head to toe

Tecna: DID YOU JUST CALL ME STRAIGHT?! LOOK AT MY OUTFIT STELLA!! HOW MORE CLEAR CAN I GET

Stella: I admit I do find Sky kinda, but that's it

Oh so Stella's being a fucking liar today'

God no, do NOT talk about Riven

Musa is trying her best to ignore Stella

Stella baby, you annoyed Tecna and Flora, you pissed off Bloom, you are going to make Musa cry

Don't poke her soft spots Stella Musa will start sobbing

"That guy doesn't even look at you"

Stella is being a bitch but she is very correct. S1 Riven is barely aware of Musa's existence

This should probably be changed to explain why Musa likes him so much

LMAO MUSA KNOCKED HER OFF THE TABLE

Will Stella ever not be gorgeous? Sources say no

Stella: and anyways since the day of the rose, the only one Riven cares about is Darcy. Of course you didn't know that~ you weren't with us~

STELLA WHAT THE FUCK

Stella at the end of that episode: oh fuck Bloom accidentally pushed Riven into the hands of a deranged moster

Stella now: actually this is now ammunition

STELLA HOW FUCKING DARE YOU MAKE MUSA CRY!!! SHES BABY!!!

Musa, internally: OH NO MY ABANDONMENT ISSUES, MY COPING MECHANISM, AND MY LOW SELF ESTEEM

Jfc Stella hit ALL of Musa's soft spots with that line

Stella....in this episode is so ooc. Like Stella can definitely be insensitive and mean sometimes, girl gets foot in mouth syndrome like no body's business, but she wouldn't ignore making someone cry

Flora is about to punch Stella

Bloom....are you going to comfort your crying friend or not? No?? Ok

Stella: I should of never teased you like that

Bloom: I'm a bit sensitive

Awee their self aware

This ep is where Radius and Cassandra started dating I've decided, either that or Stella is cursed

Stella: it's just....I can't do anything right today

Bloom: and that's news?

Stella: hmph...I deserve that one

Ok I've decided Stella is cursed or something. Even Stella would know better than to make a comment about Bloom'd hair right after recognizing that she's been ultra mean today

But maybe she's only mean for the first part of the EP bc....... I'm PUTTING CHIMERA IN THE STORY AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

Musa is very angry about Stella and talking about how Stella always makes her angry with off handed insensitive comments, which I believe. I would of loved to...see them in earlier episodes

Musa: oh my god he is dating someone else

Musa: this is horrible!!! My daydreams have been ruined!!! He's going off script!!!!

"Riven is with Darcy?!" *Grips hands into fist*

Ndsjnsnd

Riven: *does literally anything with anyone that isn't Musa*

Musa: I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?

Is this what normal crushes are like??? Like obsessions? I'm too aroace to understand

Like you could chalk this up to her being upset that he's dating the enemy but she apologizes after she slaps Icy so that really isn't it

Darcy: your vibes are wasted at Red Fountain. If you were one of us, you could be even more powerful

Darcy your implying he could be somewhere else and if so GIVE ME RIVEN DOING SHITTY MAGIC. I NEED TO MOCK HIM

Stormy: was manipulating Riven hard?

Darcy: No actually, it's was super easy. Barely an inconvenience.

I love how Riven is just uncritically agreeing with Darcy. Bitch, she ACTUALLY tired to kill you. Of course you don't remember that because it would be inconvenient to the plot but whatever

Darcy: heyyyyy~ Bloom and Brandon suck right?

Riven: I have never agreed with a statement more in my life

Lmaoo

Darcy: *holds Riven's hand*

Musa: don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

Musa, sobbing: WHYYYY

Musa, baby, your energy

I love how Darcy put all that energy into convincing Riven to join her then just also put a spell on him. It's called insurance and these spells tend to work better if the person half agrees with what's going on anyways

This is the middle ground between "Riven completely of his own will helped the Trix" and "Riven was under Darcy's control the whole time" that my hcs usually live

Just of his own will enough that he'd agree to let Darcy into his head and just under her control enough for Darcy to drag him ooc more and more as time goes on

Icy: oh my god is this girl really sobbing at Darcy from behind a window???

Icy: this level of desperation is kinda impressive

Stormy and Musa have the same voice actor don't they?????

Icy doesn't even have a reason to be so interested in what Musa's doing. She just likes bullying people

Stormy: I trust Icy to recognize a spy

Isn't that Darcy's thing?

Poor Musa is already crying...Icy you will pay for this

Icy: I remember Riven saying that he thinks nothing of you

Bold of Icy to assume that Riven thinks about Musa enough to be aware of the fact that he doesn't think about her

Musa is SOO FUCKING UPSET AND BOTHERED AND FOR WHAT???

*slaps roof of Musa* This baby can fit so much assumptions and mental illness in her!!

Musa fucking no hesitation just slapped Icy and I love that energy. Remember when the girls didn't hesitate to smack a bitch???

Stormy flinched back at Musa's slap....there's a mark on Icy's face. GIRL HOW FUCKING HARD DID YOU SWING

Musa has a rivalry with ALL of the Trix bc she's just that ✨Iconic ✨

Musa: I'm—i'm so sorry Icy! I didn't mean to hurt you!

Characters in this show will do something and then instantly claim that they didn't mean to do that thing

Bonus, Icy has tried to kill Musa before and she's still apologizing

Musa is baby

....in this show there are just a bunch of evil people hanging around as a part of society who are known for their evil. The witches are so weird

Lusy: Icy's powerful Mista! Maybe she'll notice me!

Someone happened to both of their voices in this episode... Also Mista??

Brandon...what are you doing here????

Were they just flying over Aflea??? Amazing

Riven has fucked off from the group, Brandon's threat turned back on him

What were they going to do in magix

Why is Musa running away with her feet and not......flying???

MUSA YOU ARE A FAIRY YOU HAVE WINGS, BABY WHY

Me and all the witches in this episode are going to have to get into a physical altercation

The audacity of harming Musa

Ah shit s1 Riven is back and he's in full antagonist mode

Musa is about to do a stupid and ask Riven for help isn't she??

Yeah she did. Girl. Brain cells

Welcome full antagonist Riven!!!!! S1 has been waiting for you!!!!!

How the FUCK can Sky track Musa??? Fucking help?

Musa: I'm trapped!!!

FLY!!!! WITH YOUR WINGS!!!! GO UP!!!!! ICY AND STORMY ARE FLYING WHY CANT YOU?!

The Winx and their forgetting they can fly

SKY YOU FUCKING MORON YOU NEARLY HIT MUSA!!!

Ahhh! S1 villain Riven is here BBY and he's ready to cause even WORSE problems on purpose

Riven has been mostly fighting with Brandon until he's decided now he hates Sky the most

This show is so dumb

*Riven and Sky try to kill eachother* Well boys will be boys

Tbh Riven looks so cool with the witch girlies. I wish they we're allowed to be more than villains or turned into fairies of they aren't villains

Brandon is so cool

FINALLY THESE IDIOTS TRANSFORM

Stormy said fuck Tecna in perticualr

Darcy wants Musa dead so BADLY

"I could fix him better than you!!"

Brandon, for saving Musa, you are now being awarded the title of "only man ever"

Attacking Darcy's clones knocks her out, that's interesting to know

BLOOM REALLY JUST DODGED AND LET FLORA BE HIT HUH?!

Flora looks so gorgeous laying there.....

Apparently Flora doesn't do ugly

Does this world not have any enforcement of laws????? What the fuck is happening

Timmy hasn't done shit bc he's too busy sitting over Tecna.... Dude at least pick her up or something

Stella hasn't taken her sword ring out at all...and this show has multiple times tried to say she can't fight without it

Darcy is trying to fucking MURDER Musa. No cap, hands down, fucking dead. Unhinged behavior

Stormy: uhhh, sisters? What's going on with Bloom's lineart....

Bloom: I'm so fucking angry, I'm gonna bite your fucking head off

This should of put multiple people, but especially the Trix in the hospital

Riven is EVIL and yet he still knows to pull up his girlfriend and help her get away from danger

Bloom: *has god powers*

Brandon: what the fuck am I looking at

Sky: oh fuck if I know

Brandon:.... 9/10 not as hot as Stella, but admittedly—

Sky: I will jump tackle you

Bloomy used up all her magic

Brandon is such a good dude I love this guy

Musa: He's become a real jerk

I WOULD LOVE TO BELIEVE YOU MUSA BUT THE SHOW REFUSES TO SHOW US ANY GOOD RIVEN MOMENTS TO MAKE THIS LINE OF THOUGHT UNDERSTANDABLE

Stella: I love being right!!! It's my favorite hobby

Stormy: I broke a nail 😭😭

Icy'd obsession with Bloom just started

Faragona what do you know????

.... Fragonda are you literally stopping Bloom from finding out more about herself????? ARE YOU ACTUALLY STOPPING BLOOM FROM DISCOVERING HER POWERS?!

Oh so this is why Faragona is hated so much... Girselda could have a redemption arc but this is intentionally awful jfc

Riven post s1: it's not paranoia if it can happen

EP 10:

"Musa is really upset when she sees HER Riven together with Darcy." The narrator explained Musa's train of thought so much better than I could

Flora: yeah,, and some horrible ones too :((((

Tecna: tch, you shouldn't let that scare you Flora! Their just stupid rumors anyway!! Really what could ever happen to you in there

Tecna is so pressed about this, amazing

I love how Tecna and Flora's dynamic is them telling eachother things they missed due to their different ways of learning things. It's interesting

Stella wants to be talked about so bad 👀👀 that's a symtom

Icy's vaccum is full of purple, Stormy's is full of yellow, and Darcy's is full of??? White??? Light pink??? It's really hard to see

Stella seeing a bunch of Tecno shit she doesn't understand: Tecna! Are we having fun

Tecna: 😍😍😍😍😍 yes

Witches being evil is a part of this test I'm screaming

Flora specializes in environmental healing and not combat confirmed

Stella apparently also thinks she can Ace that......maybe because sun light is good for life???

Sky's dog exists again

Sky: I got to ride a dragon today

There's a joke somewhere in here

LADY IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GOING TO START SOBBING

Awwww Sky is such a nice guy, supporting Bloom

He's no Brandon but ya know

Riven chilling in a tree: god I fucking hate mid te—oh shittt is that the enemy???

HE LOOKED INTO THE CAMERA LORD HAVE MERCY

Riven: omg I need to go gossip to my girlfriend RIGHT NOW

He's not even doing anything that interesting he's just a petty little gossip, what a idiot

Darcy: that's a lot of numbers and buttons.....

Darcy: fuck it, imma just break this thing

I fucking hate how this rabbit thing has hands

Is Faragona ok??

How did Darcy know Bloom was going to go first? This plan is so stupid

Bloom: I wanna work on a damaged environment

Flora: WOOOO!!!! GO TEAM GO!!!!!

I-

"Well there's this place called Domino"

Domino is treated like it was destroyed hundreds of years ago and not like.....sixteen

The timeline is STILL on fire

Tecna is trying her best, love her

Goddamn you Faragona

Their playing with dolls

How have these three idiots not been arrested yet?

I think Bloom should of been allowed to burn their hands, just a little bit

As a treat

Why hasn't Tecna taken everything over to save Bloom??

Why has Kiko duplicated??? What the FUCK????

Dude said just magic the tech

Bloomy better get extra credit for this shit

Bloom being thrown up and down is so fucking cute y'all

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which harry joins a new gym and you’re a trainer there.

a/n: happy new years loves! wishing you all a lovely and happy 2021! first fic of 2021 and im so excited to write more stories this year! to start the new year, here is boxer!harry for you, and this is for my very own timetravelathon fic challenge! if you’d like to join, please let me know, I’d love to have you on board! this story takes place in the 1990, and i know some of the songs mentioned weren’t released specifically in 1990 (just a few years after), but just pretend it was lol because they’re too good to not mention in this story hehe, but happy reading and pls reblog and leave feedback <3

thank you to @sunflowers-styles for beta reading this for me, love you always!

WORD COUNT: 22.6k of (kinda) boxer!harry x trainer!yn filled with angst and smut

WARNINGS: mentions of abandonment and blood 

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘143’ i’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

16 August 1990

With every move he made, Harry felt a bead of sweat drip down the side of his face, down his back, and trailing down his chest. Small huffs of breath were released from his mouth, trying not to make it known that he was exhausted, but he continued until all of his energy was used up through the very end. 

“C’mon,” he muttered to himself, anticipating the certain words to be yelled out. 

He’d been going at it for a while now, muscles aching as he felt like he was about to collapse any minute. But he was determined to finish, to feel the satisfaction running through his veins, knowing that this was his best round. 

“And time!” His trainer yelled at him, clicking the stop button on his timer. 

Harry got in one last punch before putting his arms down, the soreness made his limbs feel like jello as he shook them out. The black leather punching bag was swinging back and forth, the chain that held up the speed bag rattled and slid against the metal bar. Harry loved that sound because it indicated that he was going his hardest to where the chain couldn’t keep up. 

“Nice one, kid.” Henson, his trainer said as he fist-bumped Harry’s red glove. 

Harry simply nodded in appreciation, too exhausted to speak as he placed his gloves onto his knees, leaning down as beads of sweat dripped down onto the matted floor. Several harsh breaths came out of his mouth as he sniffed in the fresh oxygen that was mixed with the musky scent of the gym. 

Benny, Harry’s best friend, exited the ring, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm before walking towards Harry, who was still leaning on his knees. Benny tapped Harry’s glove, making him stand up straighter, and Harry patted Benny’s back. 

“Good job out there, mate,” Harry told his best friend. Benny was in the ring with one of the other trainers, Mike, doing one of the nonstop routines. Harry liked training with Mike in the ring, but not when it was for cardio and timed rounds; he liked when it was chill, so he knew how hard he had to hit the target, which were the pads. But for the timed rounds they did, Harry was usually by the speed bags and Mike was in the ring. 

“You too, man,” Benny breathed out with a smile. 

They headed over to the bench to take their gloves off and catch a breather. The pair would do a  cardio day every Thursday to get a good, sweaty workout in, and it always left them exhausted, but definitely much stronger. 

“Hey, I’m not gonna be able to workout next Thursday,” Benny mentioned. Harry furrowed his brows as he put the end of the strap between his teeth to pull it off from the velcro, taking one glove off. 

“What? Why not?” Harry asked confusingly. They never really had to call off a workout, especially Thursdays, unless one of them was sick, but other than that, neither of them missed any workout days. 

“I’m taking the wife on a date,” Benny smirked, clearly very excited to spend some time with his wife, but Harry wasn’t amused. 

“On a Thursday? Why can’t you do that on Friday?” 

Benny rolled his eyes. “Because we both called off Friday, so we’re having a four day weekend to ourselves,” he explained. 

Harry huffed, clearly not entertained. “Guess so…” 

Benny knew Harry was always like this, ever since they were younger. The two had been so close ever since they met, now that Benny had a wife, Harry always felt like the third wheel and that he rarely saw Benny, however, that wasn’t entirely true Benny exercised with Harry every night during the weekdays, and sometimes they even grabbed a bite to eat afterward when Benny could use that time to be with his wife, Marianne. 

Harry had an overwhelming fear of abandonment, it led him to have anxieties about how Benny could just get up and walk out of his life, even though he wouldn’t. Maybe it was why Harry is so attached to him; he’s the closest to Harry and it would completely destroy him if Benny ever decided that he didn’t want to be his friend anymore. That fear only grew based on an unfortunate turn of events that happened in college, four years ago, and it left Harry to pieces. Benny had never seen Harry so broken where he literally had to pick him up and take care of him. He never wanted to see his best friend like that ever again because it absolutely crushed him. 

“It’s two days that we’re not going to be seeing each other, chill out. Didn’t know you were that in love with me,” Benny joked, hoping to lighten up Harry’s mood. Luckily, it worked because Harry breathed out a chuckle, throwing his towel at Benny’s face.

The two collected their belongings and walked over to the trainers as they always do at the end of every workout to have a light chat with them. Henson and Mike told them they did a great job and asked to confirm if they were still on for tomorrow, which Benny and Harry both agreed to. Benny also mentioned about not being able to work out next Thursday and Friday, including the reason why he wasn’t able to. 

Henson and Mike looked at each other as if they were keeping something from the two. Harry titled his head  and looked at Benny as if he was asking if he knew the reason why they were looking at each other weirdly, but Benny just shrugged his shoulders, just as clueless as Harry. 

“Are you gonna tell us why you’re acting suspiciously?” Harry asked. The two trainers both sighed defeatedly. 

“About that…” Henson started. “Next Friday…we’re closing,” he added. 

“Like, closing for the day?” Benny asked innocently, hoping they didn’t mean what he really thought. 

“No…for good,” Mike stated. Harry and Benny’s eyes both widened, words coming out of both of their mouths profusely. They were both talking over each other, disagreeing and not accepting the fact that the gym was shutting down. 

“You can’t just do that-”

“-No, we refuse to let you close down-”

“Alright, guys! Settle down. You’re starting to act like kids, for god's sake,” Henson interrupted the tantrum that was about to start. 

“You guys can’t just do that!” Benny exclaimed. 

“Why are you guys even doing that?” Harry asked. 

Mike sighed. “We mutually decided that it was best to close down because…we really need the money. My rent has been skyrocketing crazy high because more people have just decided that moving to Los Angeles is fun.” He rolled his eyes, and Harry slightly chuckled because it was true. Hollywood was the place to be and people from out of state had just figured out their new profound dream to move to one of the busiest cities. 

“Fight Night will never be forgotten, alright? We’re just ready to let this place go. Plus, the roof is leaking and the wall is tearing apart, and that’s gonna be a pain to fix,” Henson added. 

Mike and Henson were brothers and built Fight Night when they were in college. With the help of their father, they decided to build a place to gain strength and power, all while helping others defend themselves. Harry and Benny had been frequenting it ever since college, and it felt like home to them. Aside from the yelling and stuffy scent, it was a place for them to release any type of anger or stress.

Benny introduced Fight Night to Harry when he had physically picked Harry up from the ground on, what possibly was, the worst night of his life. It was something Harry looked forward to after classes, anxiously bouncing his leg up and down, waiting to get to the gym. Fight Night helped rebuild him, and now, he was in disbelief that the gym was closing. 

“We’re old as fuck now. We wanna live our lives freely. Time to retire now, don’t you think?” Mike said with a sad chuckle. They were both in their late fifties, so Harry and Benny understood why they wanted to be free of work. 

The four of them hugged it out, a very emotional and sentimental hug that was heartwarming but sad. Eyes were slightly watered before Henson pushed them and said, “We’re closing the gym next week, not fucking dying! We have time for this bullshit for an entire week.” 

Harry and Benny left the gym with bittersweet hearts, but they kept Fight Night close to them, knowing that they owed a lot to the gym and the two men who built the facility. Mike had recommended some gyms that were close by if they were still interested in boxing, which they definitely were, so they were planning to check them out first before signing up. 

“Do you wanna get something to eat?” Harry asked once they were outside of the gym. The air was humid, nothing different from inside the gym since it was summer and the sun was beginning to go down. 

“Nah, I’m good. Gonna get home to Marianne. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Benny pat Harry’s back, nodding. 

Harry waved. “See you.” He watched Benny walk away before getting into his silver 1990 BMW 5 series, sighing. He always hated going home, and he always tried staying out for as long as he possibly could. 

As he drove home, he anxiously tapped his hands on the steering wheel as he couldn’t quite keep them still. It’d been happening for a while, a lot more often than he’d like, but he couldn’t help it. 

Walking into the darkness and emptiness of his home, he sighed sadly as he sulked all the way to the restroom to shower. The hot steam relieved his achy and sore muscles, but he was hoping for this shower to also release any occurring and bad thoughts he had in his head. 

He couldn’t help but think about the gym closing down. After going there for years, he couldn’t imagine going to a new gym; he’d adapted and adjusted to Fight Night that it would take him forever to find a gym that truly made him feel wanted. He was scared, to say the least. 

Harry was never a big fan of change. He liked being comfortable and stable and didn't like to move around a lot. So, the thought of going to a different gym that wasn’t Fight Night, terrified him. It only added to the list of things that had abandoned him. 

Once he was out of the shower, white towel secured lowly on his hips, showcasing his beautiful toned torso that was filled and inked with tattoos, his pager beeped. He wondered who it was as he walked over to his nightstand, considering that it was nearing nine in the evening. 

He deeply sighed when he saw the pager read ‘345987,’ immediately knowing who it was. The pager code meaning ‘I’m horny’ could only mean it’s coming from Lizette. 

Deciding not to answer the page, Harry set his pager down before walking back to the restroom, only for his home phone to ring, causing him to stop in his steps and answer the phone. 

“Hello?” Harry answered. 

“Hey, baby,” Lizette said seductively. His brows furrowed, holding the towel to his waist as it had loosened up a bit. 

“What do you want?” 

“You know what I want…” He knew exactly what she wanted. If she hadn’t paged him, he would still know what she wanted from him since all he provided to her was sex. “Isn’t it such a coincidence that I’m outside of your door right now?” Harry didn’t say anything but pinch the bridge of his nose before hanging up. 

He walked towards his front door, sighing before opening the door that revealed Lizette on the other side, wearing a low cut top, cleavage clearly showing, and high waisted denim shorts. She leaned on the doorframe, smirking as she looked Harry up and down, noticing that he wasn’t wearing anything but a towel. Harry gulped as she stepped forward, placing her hands on his stomach before completely taking the towel off, and a smug smile plastered on her face. 

Harry lets her take over like he always did. The feel of someone else’s body holding his, and lips kissing his own and his skin was something he couldn’t compare to anything else. Harry simply only did this to have some companionship, and Lizette made him feel a lot less lonely even if she was only there to have sex with him. He enjoys it twenty-five percent of the time—the other seventy-five percent was him actually wallowing in wanting someone to love him for him. 

After they were done, Harry immediately covered himself with the blanket as Lizette got out of the bed to change back into her clothes. Even though they had sex multiple times and she’s seen him naked, there was something about the vulnerability after the sex that he didn’t want her to see because she didn’t quite deserve that if he was being honest. 

“I had fun. Call you next time,” Lizette bid him goodbye before smacking a big kiss to his cheek, leaving a lipstick stain on his skin. She walked herself out, and once Harry heard the slam of the front door closing, he cringed slightly, wiping the lipstick off. 

He turned onto his side, deeply exhaling. He didn’t feel anything but numbness—it was always like this. He used sex to cope with how he felt, but it only made it worse. Honestly, he didn’t know what else to do, so it was the only thing he turned to, other than boxing. 

Harry fell asleep in his lonely room by himself. His heart was empty and felt like an isolated building that only carried his sadness. 

The entire week had gone by in a flash — Fight Night was officially closed down for good. 

Harry and Benny helped clean the space out as they reminisced and talked about the memories that were made in that gym. A lot of the stories had to do with girls walking by the gym, glancing through the window to see men working out, and then promptly walking into the gym to try and hit on the guys. 

Harry had tried convincing Henson that he could run the gym, but he shot down the idea before Harry could convince him. 

“Kid, look. If you want to run your own gym, do it. I want you to own a gym under your name. Not mine or Mike’s. You deserve to have something of your own, and whatever that may be, work for it. Work hard for it. I know you got it in you because you’re a hard worker, determined. You need to see that for yourself.” 

A conversation that was supposed to convince Henson to let Harry run the gym turned into a sentimental series of words that Harry really needed to hear. Harry didn’t say anything else and nodded as he took in Henson’s words to his heart. Henson was someone Harry looked up to. He was an old man with wise words, and everything he said was either meaningful or mean, in a way to show tough love. So, his words were something Harry lived by. 

The following Monday after Fight Night closed, Benny and Harry were on the search for their new gym. They didn’t plan on quitting the gym after their favorite one had closed down, and Henson and Mike made them swear they wouldn’t stop working out. 

Now, the two were walking into a gym that was up the same amount of time Fight Night was. ‘Don’s Box’ was what the gym was called. The building was newly reconstructed, making the place seem more modern and a little less dingy. The space was quite big, able to fit two rings, six punching bags spread throughout, eight-speed bags, and a weight rack. The walls were painted black, but the amount of natural light from the window was plentiful enough to make the gym feel bigger and brighter. 

A decent amount of people were at the gym, sectioned off with a few kids from eight to twelve on one side, and the rest of the adults on the other. There was a good mix between women and men, and everyone hyped everyone up with motivating words and claps over the music that was playing through two speakers that were hung in the corner. 

“Can I help you?” An older man with gray hair had asked the two. He looked quite intimidating; wearing nylon sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt that was rolled up to his elbows, showing his gold watch. The look he had on his face was stern as he crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. 

“Uh, yeah. We’re interested in joining your gym,” Benny told the man. The man looked the two up and down and scoffed. 

“Sure you guys are ready for that?” 

“We’ve been boxing for years, so yeah, we are.” Harry chimed in, a slightly defensive tone added to his words. 

The man glared at Harry, stepping towards him. Harry was slightly taller than him, but he knew the man could definitely take him at any given moment, but Harry wasn’t looking to fight the man, honestly. He wanted to act and look tough in front of him, so the guy wouldn’t give him any crap for it later down the road during his workouts. 

“Alright, alright. Take it easy, pa.” You interrupted, placing a hand on the man’s shoulders, making him turn his head. You raised your brows at him before tilting your head a bit, telling him to step back. The man backed off, giving Harry a snarly glance before huffing. 

“I’m just messing. Gotta know how tough my athletes are to be here,” he spoke in a lighter tone than he was to the man in front of him, putting his arm around you. 

“Thought you were gonna ‘stay on the sidelines’ and let me handle it?” You quoted your father’s words back to him, and he chuckled, putting his hands up, surrendering as he knew he couldn’t win against you. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you handle it.” Don, your father, quickly looked at Harry up and down, and you rolled your eyes, knowing he wouldn’t do anything to potential customers. He walked away and you breathed out a chuckle, scratching your head. 

“Sorry about that. You two are interested in joining?” You asked the two men in front of you. They were rather…attractive, you noticed. The one on the left was gorgeous with beautiful brown skin that looked so smooth. He was wearing a pair of red short-shorts and a white muscle tee. You noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring, so you averted your eyes off of him. The man next to him, however, was absolutely stunning. His left arm carried a sleeve-full of tattoos, and you wanted so badly to examine and look at every single one. With chocolate brown curls, his green eyes had a tad bit of a glimmer to them, not too much though, because if you were being honest, they were a bit dull, like he was exhausted and needed to let off some of the stress that he held based on how tense he looked. 

You tried not to observe and think about it too much as your ability to read individuals thrived while meeting new people. You shook it off the thought, not wanting to assume things about their lives and seem too creepy in front of new and potential members. 

“Yeah, we are. I’m Benny, by the way.” He shook your hand, smiling. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N. I run this place.” You offered the same smile back. Your eyes looked over at his friend, and he gave you a soft smile. “Y/N,” you repeated, taking your hand out for him to shake. 

“I’m Harry. Harry Styles,” he introduced fully. A beautiful name for a beautiful man, you thought. He shook your hand as you felt the softness of his skin mixed with a tad bit of roughness from the callouses, probably from heavy-lifting. 

Something about Harry introducing his full name had made you a bit weak in the knees. His deep and accented voice had made you a bit flustered as chills ran up your body. You’re acting like a fool, your subconscious told you. You were never one to show your obvious attraction for men, you were more into watching them from the side. But once Harry walked in, it seemed like you didn’t know how to keep your chill. 

“Perfect. Nice to meet you both. Signing up shouldn’t be too long—don’t want to keep you two from working out.” You led the two men to one of the offices, knocking on the wooden door to greet Jamie. “Hi. These two are looking to sign up. Do you mind helping them out?” 

“Of course! Come on in, guys,” Jamie greeted them, offering them to take a seat along with some water, which they both said yes to. 

“I have to get back to my session, but you both are in great hands. Jamie is one of our best,” you told the two. You sent an innocent wink at Jamie, which he sent one back while Harry watched the entire interaction, feeling uneasy. 

It was quite obvious how attractive and pretty you were. The moment he first saw you, his breath had immediately hitched in his throat. You had the most gorgeous face he’d ever seen, and when you spoke, your voice was soft and gentle, making Harry a bit more safe in a place he’s new to. 

Jamie had gotten their details and credit card information down before asking them if they needed a tour of the place. They both had said no, seeing as things were pretty self-explanatory and they’d been to a boxing gym before. 

They headed out of Jamie’s office and to the main floor, walking over to the heavy bags since the section was less crowded to start stretching. Harry rolled his shoulders and neck around, swinging his arms forwards and backward as he looked around the gym. 

This was something he had to get used to—being in a new place, surrounded by new people. At Fight Night, he was around the same people for four years, and he was comfortable — he was fine with it. But now, he had to go through the same process all over again. Nerves and anxiety crept up his skin as he tried to jump around lightly, warming up a bit but also trying to shake off the unwanted feelings. 

“Hey, you okay?” Benny asked concerningly as he stretched. 

Harry’s brows raised, covering up his anxiousness. “Hmm, yeah, I am. Y’know, just a, uh, new place, that’s all,” he brushed him off. 

“Okay. Well, whenever you’re ready to go, just tell me,” Benny told him before going into his bag to grab the wrapping tape. 

Harry nodded, smiling in appreciation. Benny had always been a great friend to him, and Harry was a great friend to Benny as well. They always took each other’s feelings and concerns into consideration—always making sure the other is okay. They both really appreciated it because some friends weren’t lucky enough to talk about their feelings and be that vulnerable with one another. They trusted each other; they were like brothers. 

Harry grabbed his jump rope, deciding to do a little five-minute warm-up to get his heart rate going. He faced the boxing ring to the left of him, noticing that you were in the ring, so he decided to casually watch you box. He then noticed that you had boxing pads on instead of gloves, and the people you were training were the kids that he had seen earlier. 

He watched you instruct the excited kids who were prancing around with their boxing gloves on, in every color imagined. You helped them fix their form, their stance, and their punch; telling them that they had to be quick with their hit to bring their glove back to the side of their face quickly, so their opponent doesn’t have a chance to take a hit. The kids demonstrated for you, punching your right hand that was covered with the pad. You praised all of them, of course, correcting a few things, but overall, everyone was a natural fighter. 

Harry’s heart rate definitely started to pick up, and he didn’t know if it was how fast he was jumping rope or because of the flutter he felt as he watched you interact with the kids. He truly never felt this kind of feeling where his heart picked up from the simple act of looking at someone. 

You had definitely noticed Harry staring at you from your peripheral view, and you had thought it was a simple glance, but he never looked away. So, you took the opportunity to take a quick look at him while the kids were practicing. 

Your eyes met him and you sent him a small smile, along with a wave with your boxing pads. Harry’s eyes widened, realizing that you were waving at him, and what happened next had embarrassed him even more. With how fast he was jumping, he suddenly got tangled with the rope, causing him to trip against it. Luckily, he caught his fall, but he was already embarrassed enough. 

Harry’s heart completely dropped, cheeks flushed. He couldn’t believe he had made a complete fool of himself, especially at his new gym. He so badly wanted to tell Benny that he was ready to leave, but when he looked over at his friend, he had already started his workout, being so focused and in the zone that Harry didn’t want to be a burden. 

When he turned back around to see if you were still looking, he jolted back a bit as you were behind him. 

“Are you okay?” You asked concerningly. 

“Uh, yeah. I…yeah, I’m okay. Thanks.” He cleared his throat, trying to cover up the fact that his voice almost cracked. He was so stunned by you. The way you made sure he was okay was possibly the nicest thing someone had done for him as you looked at him with your sweet eyes, and your posture was giving him your full attention. His heart pounded through his chest; the simple action and effort that was being put into this was making him overwhelmed. 

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything, yeah?” You told him as you looked at him intently. He simply nodded, knowing that he couldn’t process any more words. 

You gave him one last smile before quickly going back to your students. He watched you climb into the ring so effortlessly before continuing your training class. 

Harry took a deep breath before walking over to one of the speed bags that was in the corner, hoping to hide away from the embarrassment that he felt. Wrapping his hands up, he anxiously scanned the room, noticing that everyone was doing their own thing. There was a possibility that no one else had seen him almost fall on his face, except you, which he really wished that it was the entire gym who saw him instead, not you. He lazily hit the speed bag, trying to warm up and shake off his mortification. Harry continued hitting the bag, eventually getting into a rhythm as his fists alternated between one another, along with the rhythm of the music of Montrell Jordan’s ‘This Is How We Do It.’ 

Soon enough, all the worry and stress that was in Harry’s head and body was shaken off and completely forgotten about as he focused on his strong punches, making sure to connect his mind to his muscles, so he could feel his muscles working. 

And for the time being, life wasn’t all that bad. 

A month had passed since being at Don’s Box, and Harry and Benny quite liked it. They had newer equipment and their music was always on point, playing the best of 90s R&B and Hip-Hop. It was their favorite music to listen to, especially while working out. The people there were nice and cool, never getting in each other’s way and letting everyone do their own thing while still having fun, keeping the space safe and comfortable. 

Harry found himself walking into the gym at nine at night, an hour and a half before it closed. Usually, he wouldn’t work out this late, but during the day, he had felt so unmotivated and lazy to even get out of bed. He could put the blame on Lizette because she had gone to his house the night prior, doing the same thing they always do, but he knew she wasn’t the one to blame. Something about saying no to her and having her not talk to him had physically pained him. They were in a specific arrangement, he knew that. But having someone leave him again was something he couldn’t go through. 

‘What’s Luv?’ by Fat Joe, Ja Rule, and Ashanti was playing when he set his bag down onto the ground against the wall, next to the heavy bag. He started to stretch as he took a look around; not many people were working out at this time, which he liked. 

His eyes continued to search the gym, in hopes he would find you still here. Before the slightest bit of disappointment could settle, he saw you walk out of the hallway with Jamie, smiling and laughing at something he had said. He made a face as a hint of jealousy rushed through as he saw you with Jamie. He knew that there was no point in being jealous because he barely even knew you. But for the past month that he’s been at Don’s Box, you always had this look of excitement on your face when you saw and greeted Harry. It made his stomach flutter every time you would flash him your beautiful smile as you would carry the conversation, asking him about his day and if the music was good, which he commends you for putting his favorite songs on. 

Looking away, he decided to just focus on the quick workout he could get in before the gym closed, so he retained his attention back to stretching before bending down to grab the tape from his bag to wrap his hands. 

“Uh, hi, Harry,” you smiled as you greeted him. He looked up at you. The way the light was positioned behind your head made you look like an actual angel; you were ethereal. 

He stood up and smiled softly. “Hi. How are you?” He asked, trying to contain his nerves from just looking at you. You were gorgeous, as you always are every day. You were wearing a pair of black leggings and a light pink t-shirt that was tied into a knot with the word ‘angel’ that was surrounded by wings printed in the middle. Kind of a coincidence, he thought, thinking back to when he called you an angel in his head. 

“Good, good. You’re here later than usual—without Benny too,” you pointed out, but immediately cursed at yourself for making such an odd observation and telling it to his face as if you were keeping track of the times he’s gone into the gym. 

“Yeah, I was pretty…tired during the day, so the only time I got a burst of energy was right now. And Benny is with his wife and in-laws tonight, so it’s just me tonight,” he explained with a soft chuckle. 

“Well, glad you got the chance to make it in,” you said genuinely. He simply nodded, not knowing what else to say but instead he captured himself into you as you stared at him with your captivating eyes that spoke right through him. What was happening to him? He thought. This hadn’t really happened before, and he was good at letting his walls go up and guarding his precious heart. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head out,” Jamie said, greeting you goodbye, and taking Harry out of his thoughts. “Hey, man. Have a good workout.” He shook Harry’s hand, and Harry smiled, nodding. 

“See you tomorrow,” you told Jamie, smiling a bit as you waved. Jamie left the gym, and it was just you and Harry, along with a few other people who were wrapping up their workout. 

“Are you not gonna go with him?” Harry asked, and you raised your brows in confusion. 

“Why would I go with him?” You wondered. 

“Oh, I just thought you would leave with him, y’know, your boyfriend…” he trailed off, slyly slipping in the word boyfriend in that sentence. 

You giggled, shaking your head. “No, no. Jamie isn't my boyfriend. I’ve known him since I was ten, but nothing’s ever happened between us. Besides, he has a boyfriend of his own.” Harry raised his brows in shock as his shoulders visibly relaxed. “No need to worry, Harry. I’m all yours,” you flirted a bit. You normally wouldn’t flirt so easily with someone, especially if they were a member of your gym, but something about Harry had made you release all the stress you had once you saw and talked to him. 

Harry blushed, grinning as his dimple popped out on his cheek. Your eyes lightened once you noticed that feature, making you think that he was ten times cuter than he already is. 

“You’ve been in the ring, right?” You asked curiously. Harry nodded, and the corner of your lips turned up. “Great! We have about a little less than an hour and a half, so if you’re looking for some intense cardio, I could do it with you—y’know, train you and guide you, and whatnot,” you suggested. 

If Harry’s being honest, he wasn’t planning on doing cardio today—just a few routines to get his muscles warm, but the way you’re looking at him and how you spoke to him so softly and effortlessly, he couldn’t say no. 

“Yeah, I’m up for it,” he responded. Your eye brightened, resisting the urge to squeal from excitement, telling him that you were going to get the mitts and to meet you in the ring. He chuckled slightly as you walked over to the equipment room to get the mitts. Harry quickly hit the speed bag to warm up until he saw you walk out of the room. 

He put on his gray sweater and a green packers beanie, so he could sweat more before he met you in the ring with his gloves pressed between his arm and the side of his body. You put the mitts in between your legs as Harry handed you one of the gloves. Holding onto the end of it, he put his hand inside as you pushed the glove towards him, so it would sit on his hand tightly before strapping it securely for him before proceeding to the next one. The proximity between you two was quite close as you helped him put on the gloves, and you could smell the faint scent of cologne mixed with the slightest bit of sweat, giving him that unique musk; the one that doesn’t smell horrible at all but lured you in. 

You quickly snapped out of your thoughts and looked up at Harry. “Good?” He nodded, punching the gloves together to make sure they felt comfortable. “Ready?” 

“Let’s do this,” Harry said, skipping in place to warm his body up before getting into his stance. His left leg was a few feet away from his right leg as he bounced around a bit, waiting for you. 

You faintly smirked, nodding your head before you put on the mitts. Since Harry was very familiar with the mitt workouts, you figured that you didn’t need to explain what each number represented since mostly all trainers and coaches use the same numbers for the same punch. 

“Okay, let’s warm up a bit. Give me one,” you instructed. Harry put his gloves up to protect his face as you held your right mitt up. With his left hand, he punched your mitt, not giving his full strength. “Is that all you got?” You challenged, knowing that he had more power in him. 

“I-I don’t want to hurt you,” he said honestly with a small pout, standing straight from his boxing stance. Usually, you would take offense to that statement, barking back a comment saying that just because you were a girl it didn’t mean you couldn’t take a hit, but you didn’t go that far into it, knowing Harry didn’t mean it that way whatsoever. 

“You’re not gonna hurt me, Harry. I’ve trained so many people—all with different body types and strengths. My hand has felt all different types of power, so hit the mitt like you mean it.” You hit his shoulder, building up his motivation. He nodded, getting back into his stance as did you. “Now, give me one.” 

This time, Harry’s glove met your mitt with full potential and force, and you took the hit well—not moving back or being stunned. 

“There you go! Keep going,” you told him, and he continued giving you jabs. ‘In Da Club’ by 50 Cent was blaring through the speakers as Harry breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. Several huffs of breath came out loudly as he punched, moving and dancing around the ring with you as the two of you occasionally shifted and switched positions. 

Harry got in a few more punches before you switched it up, telling him, “1-2.” Harry jabbed with his left hand and crossed jabbed with his right hand, putting his full range of motion into his right punch. He did that combination five times as he started to feel sweat dripping down his back and the sides of his forehead. 

You were yelling out words of encouragement and motivation, praising him for his punches, to which he responded back with a better and solid punch to your mitts. 

“Nice!” You took a step back to move around the ring to take advantage of the space as Harry jumped and skipped around to wherever you directed him to. “Wanna take a break?” You asked. He shook his head no, determined to finish this workout that he couldn’t even think about wanting to take a break because he really didn’t want to. “Okay, 1-4-3,” you told him. With force, he jabbed, hooked with his left hand, and hooked with his right hand. 

This feeling that he had felt—being in the ring with you—was something entirely different than when he was in the ring with Henson or Mike. The stress that he physically carried onto his shoulder had washed away into nothingness, leaving him with a drive that didn’t include overthinking and fear. The fear that had left him worried and depressed, that his life would amount to nothing—that fear disappeared inside him once he threw the first punch. It was exhilarating and fun, and he didn’t know he could have this much fun in the ring. But this was the most pleasure he’s ever felt while boxing. 

You ordered him to do some different combinations, such as ‘1-2-3-5,’ which was a jab, cross jab, leading hook, and rear uppercut. You also included moments when he had to duck because you were swinging at him. He definitely had gotten into a rhythm, punching and moving faster. You were the trainer, the person that was supposed to instruct him, but you matched his rhythm and energy and moved quicker with him as well. 

You were starting to get a sweat in as well, and that was mostly because of the adrenaline rushing through your blood as you moved excitedly around the ring. 

After a while, a timer had gone off, telling you that it was time to close up as Harry’s focus was cut off—the sound making him look up hastily. Throughout the time you were working out with Harry, people were slowly starting to make their way out, but the two of you were too focused on working out that you hadn’t even noticed that it was just the two of you left in the gym. 

“Oh, guess we’re closing.” You stood up straighter, wiping the sweat on your forehead with your forearm. “Feelin’ good?” You asked Harry with a proud smile. 

“Feelin’ great,” he smirked. 

“Good, I’m glad. You did great!” You complimented, ripping the velcro strap with your teeth as you took off the mitts. Harry did the same, shaking out his arms as he clenched and unclenched his fists to relieve the ache from making a fist for more than an hour. 

“Thank you. You’re a really great trainer, by the way. This was…the first time I had fun in the ring,” he told you honestly, and without knowing, the slightest bit of him had opened up to you. 

Your eyes brightened, a glimpse of shimmer reflected on your eyes. “Really? Thank you, that makes me really happy, actually.” You felt like you were going to cry on the spot. No one, except your younger students, had ever told you that they had fun in the ring since most people used boxing as a way to get stronger and improve their punches. But fun? That was the first, and you would definitely keep that with you forever. 

You and Harry walked to one end of the ring as Harry held open the top two ropes with his hand as he stepped on the bottom two ropes with his foot, holding it open for you to get out. You blushed, thanking him before you got out of the ring as he followed you out. 

Once you two were on the ground, you turned around to face him. You watched as he took off his beanie, shaking his hair out as they bounced; curls were now formed into waves because of the heat and the sweat that had produced in his beanie. He looked…extra good right now. With his cheeks flushed, hair messy, and sweat dripping down his forehead, you couldn’t put into words how incredibly sexy he looked. 

You cleared your throat, not wanting to get caught for ogling him. “I, uh, have to check on some things before closing. Take your time! And I’ll see you on Monday?” You raised your brows and curled your lips in as you looked up at him. A sense of flustered-ness settled in you as you waited for his answer. 

He breathed out a chuckle as he looked down briefly before looking back into your eyes again. “Yeah, I’ll see you.” You nodded your head, waving at him before you headed over to the office. Harry smiled as he watched you walk into the hallway until he couldn’t see you anymore. 

A small blush formed onto his cheeks as he contained himself from smiling too big and too wide. He put all of his stuff back into his bag, grabbing his towel, ridding the sweat off his skin. Grabbing his belongings, he took another glance at the hallway, hoping to get another look at you before he took off, but you were occupied with closing the gym, so he didn’t bother staying any longer. 

With a small smile on his face, he walked out of the gym, taking in this new profound feeling that he’d never felt before, hoping this feeling would last. 

The next morning, Harry had a sudden urge to go back to the gym. His upper body was quite sore, but he figured he could do some leg exercises to balance the soreness he felt. He normally wouldn’t workout on the weekends since those were his rest days, but despite being sore, he didn’t feel tired. It could also do with the fact that he wanted to see you again, not wanting to wait until Monday to do that again. 

When he walked into the gym, ‘Ride Wit Me’ by Nelly was playing and his head slightly bopped to the music, walking over to the corner of the gym to warm up. He scanned the gym, looking for a particular person, but couldn’t find you. There were a decent amount of people, not too crowded or too little, so it should’ve been easy to find you. Thinking that you were probably in your office, he shook off the slight disappointment and got ready to workout. 

Throughout his workout, his head wasn’t in it. He kept glancing through the mirror to see if you had shown up, but you hadn’t. His eyes were always looking over at the front door every time someone would walk in, but a small frown settled onto his face when he realized it wasn’t you. 

He wrapped up his workout an hour later, thinking that he somewhat still got a good workout in. He walked out of the gym, saying bye to some of the guys that had caught him before he left. 

It was nearing noon when his stomach had growled, urging him to consume some food. There was a Mediterranean hole-in-the-wall restaurant right across Don’s Box, and his mouth watered at the thought of it. He walked to his car that was parked on the side of the street to drop his bag off before walking across the street to the restaurant. 

He scanned the menu, standing on the side since he didn’t know what he was ordering yet. The sound of the door ringing and a voice that was speaking to him brought him out of his thoughts. 

“Are you in line?” Harry turned his head towards the voice, and his heart nearly beating ten times faster when he saw you. He had a shocked expression on his face, not expecting to see you, especially when you were wearing the complete opposite of what he normally sees you in. You were wearing a pair of blue denim overalls with a black t-shirt underneath, along with white Reebok sneakers. You had a bit of makeup on; an orange sparkly eyeshadow look with some mascara that made your eyelashes look full and natural. Your lips were painted in a red-orange lipstick stain, bringing out more of your natural lip color. 

The beauty that Harry’s eyes were blessed with made his knees weak, sending shivers to his skin. Your angelic appearance had struck him so hard that he was sure he would see the light of day, hoping to meet you up there since you were a real-life angel. 

“Y/N…hi,” he managed to spit out. 

“Hi, Harry. Did you just workout?” You asked. 

He nodded, feeling a bit nervous. “Uh, yeah, I did.” 

“You don’t usually go in on Saturdays…” you noticed, only seeing him during the weekdays. You’re off on Saturdays, but there was one Saturday that you had gone into the gym briefly, and you didn’t see him there. 

“Yeah, I felt like going in today,” he said, obviously leaving out the part that he only went to the gym to see you again, but you didn’t need to know that bit. There was a moment of silence between you two until Harry remembered that he was probably holding up the line for you. “Oh, you could go ahead. I’m not ready to order yet.” 

You smiled, nodding your head as you stepped forward in the line. “Have you ever been here before?” 

“No, I haven’t. Do you have any suggestions?” 

You slightly squinted your eyes at him. “Do you trust me?” You asked. 

That was a difficult question for him, and somewhat vague. Did you mean overall, at the moment, or for his food order? Either way, he nodded because he knew that it didn’t matter what you meant--he had this sense of security with you that he would trust you with his life, and that said a lot, considering that he’d only known you for a month. 

“Yeah, I do trust you,” he stated honestly. 

His words brought a grin to your face, looking at him appreciatively. Based on your observations of him, you noticed that he was a bit closed off; he didn’t open himself up, and if he did, it took a lot in him to do just that. So, hearing him tell you that he trusts you made you grateful, and you would never do anything to take advantage of that trust because he didn’t just give it out easily. 

“I got you,” you simply said before turning back around towards the cashier. Harry softly smirked as he took a step forward to stand next to you. You looked at him, flashing him a toothy grin before quickly facing forward. 

You ordered your favorite dish from the restaurant, which was a beef kabab plate, for the both of you. Harry quickly got his wallet out, offering to pay, but you told him that you got it this time, hoping your words conveyed that you wanted there to be a next time. He shyly thanked you for the lunch, keeping your words in mind because he would definitely be up for a ‘next time.’ 

Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long for your order to come out, which was fortunate for Harry because he was starving. You suggested eating outside since it was a beautiful day out and Harry agreed, following you out of the restaurant. 

You two sat on the metal chairs, digging into your dishes. Harry’s mouth watered as he ate, his stomach being satisfied. There was a comfortable silence that settled between you two, only making small conversation when you asked if he liked the food, which you were glad to hear that he loved. 

“So, how long have you been running Don’s Box?” He suddenly asked, wanting to get to know you better. 

You raised your brows at his question. “For about two years now. My father, Don, opened the gym when he was twenty-five, that’s when he had me as well. But when he opened the gym, it practically changed his life. He’d boxed all of his life, and he was happy training other people when he started getting more people to come into his gym. When I was about six, he told me that he wanted me to run the gym when I turned twenty-five, only if I wanted to. But of course, I did. I looked up to him all of my life, and the gym made me happy as well,” you explained, smiling at the memory of when you were younger, being excited to turn twenty-five to do the same thing your father did. 

A soft smile appeared on Harry’s face as you reminisce on the memory. 

“How long have you been boxing?” 

“Since I was eight. Don showed me the ropes when I told him I was ready. There used to be a seating area on the side of the ring because when I was younger, I used to sit there and watch him work and train people. So, I was pretty interested and intrigued about fighting to get myself stronger, even at the young age of eight,” you chuckled. 

You were a daddy’s girl, always had been since you were born. Don had always set a pretty amazing example of how you should go about living your life. He would always say ‘Live your life with a strong punch. Keep your head up, and don’t let anything get to you because you’re so much more than what other people say. But if you need to cry, you can—there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.’ 

As your eyes watered from the thought of your father’s words, Harry watched as you got emotional and he couldn’t help but think that you’ve crossed a line in asking too many questions. 

“Sorry, I always get emotional-”

“I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped—I should’ve kept the questions to myself-”

“Oh, no! You didn’t overstep whatsoever. I’m glad you asked me those questions, I just get soft and emotional over my dad, so hence, I’m tearing up,” you let out a somewhat pathetic chuckle as you couldn’t believe that you almost cried in front of this gorgeous man. You dabbed the corners of your eyes with your napkin, stopping the tears from falling out. 

Harry nodded understandingly, waiting for you to regroup yourself. You kept apologizing, but he kept telling you that you had nothing to be sorry for. 

“Really, if you need to cry, you can…” he told you. Your eyes widened; you were just thinking about your dad’s words two minutes ago, and for Harry to say the exact same thing Don had always told you without even knowing that Don had said those words. 

Not wanting to cry in front of him, you simply nodded your head, holding the napkin on the outer corner of your eye, so the napkin would catch your tears. 

Harry quickly changed the subject, sensing that you needed it, and you really did, so you were grateful for that. He busied himself by telling you what his favorite ice cream flavor was since he was suddenly reminded that there was a shop just down the street. He kept you occupied by talking about all the sweet treats that he used to eat with his mom back home, and how much he missed walking down the streets in the city to eat some ice cream. 

“My mum used to make this really great chocolate mousse pie, and we would eat it every weekend. It was extremely sweet, but it was delicious. I really miss it…” he told you. That had been a while ago, but it was like he could still taste the dessert as if he just ate it yesterday. 

“Is your mom back home in England?” You asked, figuring that there wasn’t any harm in asking to get to know him since he asked you some questions as well. 

“Uh…actually, I don’t know where she is…” he said honestly, and you knitted your brows in confusion. “I mean, honestly. I don’t know where she is. Ever since I went to uni, she’s been all over the place, taking vacations and barely calling. I-I feel like she’s forgotten about me,” he spoke ever so softly as he was fragile. 

You listened to him intently, giving him your full attention as he was opening up a part of his life that you knew he doesn’t tell a lot of people. A part of him that he’s kept in for so long and just the passing sense of relief he felt saying those words and speaking up about this subject had made him feel so much better. 

“I’m sure she didn’t forget about you.” 

“Seemed like it. We inherited my grandfather’s will—left us a generous amount for each of us that’ll take care of us for the rest of our lives. And she took that and ran with it. I mean, I get it—she wants to live her life, and now’s the time to do that because she’s got the money for it, but I feel…abandoned. She got up, said goodbye, and just…left. It just makes me think that I’m not good enough—that I wasn’t good enough to stay.” Harry opened a can of worms that he can’t take back anymore. But the trust that he had in you already made him want to talk about everything with you; to open up about all of his stresses and insecurities. 

Boldly, you reached your arm across the table but immediately pulled away because you didn’t want to touch him without asking. But before you could open your mouth and ask, Harry had reached forward, meeting your hand halfway as his palm was facing up as if it was a way of saying ‘you can hold my hand if you want.’ Blushing, you reached forward again and took your hand into his. 

The touch was sweet and tender as you two held hands; the want to hold each other tighter was present, wanting to take away Harry’s pain. 

“Harry, you will always be good enough. I know we just met a month ago, but I already know that you’re the sweetest, kindest person. Please know that. You are enough, and I’m grateful that you’re here and that I’m sitting across from you, eating lunch,” you declared. Harry sniffled, not knowing what to say as he put his head down, so you continued. “For as long as we’re friends, I’m gonna stay.” You spoke with complete honesty as you caressed the back of his hand with your thumb. 

Harry’s head lifted up at your last statement in disbelief as if this was the first time someone had ever said that to him. 

“Really?” 

You squeezed his hand, making his heart flutter. “Yeah. As long as you want me to,” you reassured, nodding. 

Harry gave you a soft and appreciating smile as he took a deep breath. The breath that he held in throughout the entirety of the conversation was finally let out in relief. He shrunk back into his seat, still holding your hand as you continued rubbing it, and he breathed out a chuckle. It was an overwhelming feeling that was riddled with happiness and a sense of security washed over him. 

It was like he had been waiting for you; someone new that unexpectedly came into his life was scary because it was change, but it was a good change. A change for the better. He had been vulnerable enough to open himself up, and it all led to the tight bond and trust you two had with one another, sealing your friendship and relationship. 

And you both knew this moment was going to change everything. 

Time had passed by rather quickly as it was nearing the end of October. The weather was getting chillier as the sun was beginning to disappear behind the clouds earlier. There was something about the fall weather that Harry adored. It may have to do with the fact that the gloomy sky had occurred more often, or how he got to call it a night early. Whatever it may be, he liked it, or he used to. 

In recent times, he wanted the sun to stay out until it was time to go to bed. He wanted warm days instead of gloomy. His new changed attitude towards life had to do with you. 

You and Harry had been hanging out quite a lot; getting to know one another, getting a bite or drink, and working out together, it definitely gave Harry the chance to let go of his past. He was happier, smiled more, and laughed a lot which he didn’t know he was capable of doing those things again until he met you. 

Benny loved it, though. He sure cherished it because seeing his best friend happy again was something he was afraid he wouldn’t see again. But that didn’t stop him from having a little talk with you, trying to protect Harry and set you straight. 

When Harry was occupied with hitting the speed bag, Benny walked over to the ring, where you had just finished another class with your younger students. 

“Hey, Benny!” You greeted him once you saw him walk towards you. 

“Hey, do you mind chatting for a minute?” You raised your brows, nodding your head. Benny usually didn’t talk to you privately nor was it anything serious, but by the look on his face, it seemed pretty serious. “So, you’ve been hanging out with Harry a lot, hmm?” 

You smiled softly. “Yeah! Hope you don’t mind that? Know I’m taking your best friend and all…” 

“No, I don’t mind. I’m actually glad you are. He seems quite taken by you, and I haven’t seen him like that in a very long time,” Benny said honestly. You seemed to know where this conversation was going now, and now that you thought about it, you expected this from Benny because they were like brothers and Benny would do anything to protect Harry. “What I’m trying to say is…if you’re only hanging out with him to fuck with him, don’t bother. He’s been through enough, and I know he can’t handle anymore of that and I can’t stand to see him like that again.” 

“Like what?” You hesitatingly asked. 

“Like…just know that he was a mess. He couldn’t get up, eat, drink, shower, or anything. I had to physically help him. I don’t want to see him like that ever again.” Benny shook his head as if he was reliving the horrible nightmare that he went through a few years ago. 

“Is this about his mom?” 

“He told you that?” He asked, just to make sure, and you nodded. “Kind of. But that’s only half of it. He’ll tell you when he’s ready, but I’ve already said too much. Just…take care of him, okay? He tries to act tough sometimes, but he’s trying his best to not break down. Although, I haven’t seen that kind of look on him since he’s been hanging out with you, so you’re probably doing something right.” 

You nodded understandingly. “Thanks for talking to me. I don’t plan on breaking his heart at all, and I’m quite taken with him myself,” you admitted. 

“Good. I’m glad you are. He’s a great guy.” Benny smiled, and you agreed. 

Benny didn’t talk to you for much longer before he started getting cold from standing around, so he ended the conversation and went back to working out. 

Meanwhile, as you and Benny were talking, Don took the chance himself to talk to Harry, seeing as you were occupied. 

“Harry.” Don made himself present around him. 

Harry immediately stopped his workout, greeting your father. “What’s up, Don?” 

“So, I’ve noticed that you’ve been hanging around Y/N a lot.” Don’s stance changed as he crossed his arms, sporting a slight frown. Harry gulped; he always found Don to be quite intimidating, ever since he joined the gym, but Harry didn’t want to seem like he couldn’t have a serious conversation with the father of the woman that he’s slowly falling for--no, he couldn’t act like that. “What’s that all about?” Don added. 

“I’m just…we’re friends, so we’re just hanging out. Nothing more,” he told Don honestly. Although he would like there to be more, he didn’t know how you felt about him or if you even felt anything for him at all. 

Don nodded. He could tell that Harry was holding back on something he wanted to say, and he had an idea of what that was. So, he let loose of the intimidating and protective act, knowing that wasn’t really him anyway, and his expression softened as he uncrossed his arms. He placed a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder, taking a deep breath. 

“You have this look of wanting to say more and you don’t have to tell me, but I will tell you this…if you want to date her and go out with her, you can. This isn’t approval and a ‘yes’ for you to take her out because I don’t need to do that--she can make her own decisions. All I’m saying is that if you want to, go for it. Life is too fuckin’ short to not do anything, to not say anything.” 

Harry’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled in appreciation at Don’s words. “Thanks, Don. I definitely want to take her out, but I just don’t know how she feels about me.” 

“Oh, I’m pretty sure she feels something for you--she hasn’t told me, but I just know. You’re the first guy in a while that she’s been hanging around with consistently, and that comforts me, in a way. Knowing that she’s living her life and not holding back anymore.” Harry stayed silent, taking his words in. He tried not to overanalyze what Don had said because you’ll tell him and open up to him when you want to, just like how you’re patiently waiting for Harry to open up fully as well. “Just…don’t break her heart, okay? She’s been through enough and I just want her to be happy.” 

Harry nodded understandingly, saying a soft ‘okay’ before Don changed the subject and talked about how  Harry should train with him one of these days, which Harry immediately said yes to and they planned for the following week to train. Don left him to finish his workout, telling him to have a nice night as you and Harry were going out to dinner. 

Benny and Harry finished up their workout, and before they were able to head out the front door, Harry stopped, telling Benny to give him a minute. Harry fast-walked towards you, lugging his bag on his shoulder. You were coming out of your office, which was why Harry couldn’t say goodbye to you after his workout. 

“Hey, we’re heading out,” he said, wiping the bit of sweat on the back of his neck with his towel. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up,” Harry suggested, pursing his lips into his mouth as he contained his smile. You nodded, eyes sparkling as you looked up at him. “I’ll, uh, page you,” he slightly smirked. 

“Okay,” you mindlessly responded as you were getting quite lost in his green eyes that looked at you intently with a gleam that sat so perfectly against his irises, making his eyes glimmer brightly.

He gave you one last smile and a little wave before walking out of the gym with Benny. You were left stunned as you stood there, completely drifted away from reality as you were in a dream about Harry. You felt a small nudge on your shoulder, causing you to snap out of your thoughts and dream as you turned around to see your father laughing. 

“Get back to work.” A smug plastered on his face. 

A breathy chuckle was released from your mouth as a hint of embarrassment emerged onto your face with wide eyes. You got back to work, focusing your attention on training your next client, but your mind was racing at the thought of Harry. 

As he promised, Harry paged you when he was outside of your apartment complex. He wanted to knock on your door like the proper gentleman that he is, but the buzzer machine to let people in wasn’t working, so paging you would have to do for now. He waited for you outside of his newly washed car, making sure it was nice and clean for you as he leaned against the passenger door. 

You walked out of your building, and Harry was immediately blown away. You were wearing a black skirt with stockings that hugged your legs, and a white knitted sweater since it was on the chillier side. 

Every time he saw you, his heart would beat incredibly fast, pulse pounding through his veins. His stomach was in flits of butterflies, soaring in his heart and stomach, making him extremely nervous. Every time he saw you, everything would stop, like you were the only person in the world and everything was okay. 

“Hey, H,” you flashed him your smile, one that he looked forward to every time he saw you. 

“H-Hi,” he stuttered, clearing his throat to start over. “Hi. You look really nice.” 

You blushed. “Thank you! You look great as well. Love this top.” You reached forward, lightly tugging at his red-orange knitted long-sleeve. He paired it with blue jeans that flared at the bottom with white sneakers. His fingers were covered in beautiful silver rings, making his hands look quite gorgeous. 

“Thank you, shall we?” 

“Yeah, oh, I got you something.” You reached into your bag to take out the cased CD, and before Harry was about to protest, you handed it to him. “I made you this mixtape. Just some songs that I think you’ll like—I’m sure you know all of them, but they just made me think of you,” you said shyly. 

You weren’t normally shy and you would call yourself a pretty strong and confident person, but you had been so nervous to give this to him—even making the tape left you anxious and shaking. 

“Wow, this is…very thoughtful of you. Thank you so much.” Harry looked at the CD with the songs written in your handwriting. There were 10 songs, and Harry knew all of them. They were all…romantic songs. 

“That’s not weird, right? Y’know, making you a mixtape?” You asked unsurely. The odd feeling had popped into your mind at the last second as you watched Harry observe the CD, not giving a bad nor good reaction to your gift. 

“No, not at all! I really appreciate this. No one has ever made a mixtape for me before, so this is really nice and special. Thank you again.” He reached forward, wrapping one arm around your shoulders as both of your arms found their way around his waist. You somewhat weren’t convinced that he liked it, and he could tell just by how you were looking at him--looking for some more reassurance--that it seemed like he didn’t like it. When he pulled away, he looked at you before saying, “Really, it makes me happy that you took the time to make this for me. It’s so sweet and thoughtful of you, and I already love all the songs on here, so I’m one-hundred-percent going to enjoy this.” 

You nodded, smiling softly as he opened the door for you and you thanked him, blushing as you got in. It seemed very much like a date and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of that. 

Harry drove to the sandwich shop that waited for you both. It was twenty minutes away on the other side of the town, but Harry had been raving about it so much to you that you told him that you two should go, which Harry was more than happy to take you. 

The sound of Boyz II Men filled the speakers of Harry’s car as the two of you sang your hearts out to ‘On Bended Knees,’ putting full emotion and passion into singing. You held up your water bottle, pretending that it was a microphone, and Harry kept shifting his gaze on you, trying to keep his eyes on the road, but also wanting to look at you as you sang. He smiled to himself, absolutely loving how you were so carefree--something that he admired about you. 

His heart fluttered, curling his lips into his mouth before he did something that was quite bold of him to do. Reaching over, he grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers together. Your body was frozen, but you continued to sing, covering up the fact that Harry was holding your hand so casually. You were stiff as a board, so you tried loosening up, swaying your body from side to side, slightly averting your eyes towards him as he continued to drive. 

The moonlight cast through the car window, giving him a dim glow, accentuating his features; jawline prominent, his lashes shadowed down onto his cheeks, and his eyes were calm; the light reflecting against his glassy green eyes. Your heartbeat a million miles a minute as you looked at him. You had this appreciation and admiration for him--that you were lucky and grateful that you have him and that there was nothing more beautiful than the man sitting beside you. 

With your face on fire, you smiled as you carried on, singing with the warmth of Harry’s hand connected with yours. 

You were sitting across Harry, munching on your sandwich as you listened to him talk about how he wanted to actually find a job. He’s been sitting around, living quite wealthy as his inheritance sat safely. But he’d been getting bored. Every day was a routine for him and it was a pretty boring routine, he would say. The only places he really went to were the gym and the places that the two of you went together, but that was it. He needed a hobby, something that he could escape to that doesn’t require breaking a sweat from punching bags and mitts. 

“You said you like books, so maybe you could see if the bookstore down the street from the gym is hiring. That would be a nice little place to work at,” you suggested. 

Harry’s eyes lightened up, apart from thinking that was a great idea and the other part from being surprised that you remembered such a small detail about him when he’d talked about books briefly with you. 

“I should definitely do that, thank you. I love that bookstore, it’s-”

“Y/N?” Harry was interrupted by a man who had walked over to your table. Harry looked up, observing the guy as he was looking at you so intently. He quickly looked at you as you were looking up at the man with a shocked expression on your face, wide eyes and mouth slightly opened. 

“Uh, hi,” you said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Your eyes glanced at Harry and he had a worried expression on his face, eyes asking if you were okay. You nodded softly, bringing your attention back to him. 

“I-I’ve been calling the gym and paging you, but you haven’t been answering any of them…” the man mentioned slyly. You were quite speechless, not expecting him to be here and not knowing what to say. 

“I, uh-”

“Can we talk right now?” He asked. You were flickering your eyes between Harry, someone that you were completely infatuated with, and the man that you were completely irritated with. But if you didn’t talk to him right now, he wouldn’t leave you alone and wouldn’t stop calling you, so you made the mistake of saying a soft ‘okay’ as you got up, looking over at Harry, giving a subtle smile. 

Just by the way he was looking at you, you knew you had regretted your decision and you wished that you hadn’t given in so easily. 

Once you were outside, you crossed your arms, in a way to seem reserved and closed off, but in reality, you really were. The uncomfortableness you felt was something you haven’t felt in a while as it felt like your stomach was boiling as bile salivated your mouth. Your fists were hidden underneath your arms, clenching, and your lips were curled into your mouth to immediately spew inappropriate sayings and vile remarks. 

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, brows pinched together. 

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for quite a while now, but I just wanted to talk. I hate how we ended things…” he said remorsefully. You tried not to fall for the pouty look he was giving you as if he knew quite well you would fall for it. 

“It’s been six months, Max,” you reminded him. You and Max had an ugly breakup, and you had been picking up your own pieces yourself. You two had been together for nearly a year until he started to act differently. Noticing that he was going home late, staying at the bars until the early hours of the morning, and being quite rude and dismissive towards you, it ended in a screaming match where he ended up spitting out rude comments at you--calling you ugly, useless, and boring. It also caused him to confess that he was cheating on you for half the time you were together with him, and you thought that was a lie he made up just to make you angry, but a month after the breakup, you had found out that was true because you had accidentally bumped into the girl he was cheating on you with. At the time, you couldn’t blame him because the girl was absolutely gorgeous and seemed a lot of fun, but now, you know your worth and you absolutely didn’t deserve that whatsoever. 

For six months, you hadn’t seen him, but he had been leaving you countless calls to the gym phone. However, Max wouldn’t dare to step foot in the gym ever again because Don had clearly threatened him when he saw Max on the street, pinning him up against the brick wall by his shirt and yelling in his face that if he ever came close to you or the gym ever again, he wouldn’t see the end of the day. 

Don would’ve lost his shit if he saw Max in front of you. 

“This is pointless. I was fine living my life for the past six months without you. In fact, I haven’t even thought about you until you showed up. Couldn’t you see I was doing just fine? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Your tone was scornful, not wanting to be in front of him anymore but instead the lovely man inside. 

“I just assumed you wanted some sort of closure…” 

“If I wanted closure, then I would’ve called you. But I don’t need closure. I was doing okay-” 

“With who? That man inside the restaurant?” He interrupted, brows raised. His demeanour suddenly changed just because you had given him the slightest bit of attitude. Max went from soft, wanting forgiveness to the Max that you saw last--completely offensive, rude, and a dickhead.  

“Yeah, his name is Harry, by the way. I was doing okay until you showed up!” You rolled your eyes, making your way back inside to Harry, who was waiting for you inside. 

Of course, Max wasn’t done until he got the last word, so he yelled out, “You know, whatever you’re doing with him, he’s gonna leave you; just like how I left you.” You slowly turned around, heart aching as his words had definitely done something this time. “You think Harry cares about you Y/N? Think again, he’s gonna leave you and you’re gonna be alone. You’re nothing, Y/N--not without me, at least. You aren’t worth anything, and you had to take over your dad’s gym to feel like you are. Stop fooling yourself.” 

Your eyes watered, trying your hardest not to let them slip from your eyes. You had already felt weak tearing up in front of him, so you couldn’t imagine what he would think if you bawled your eyes out. Suddenly, you heard the bell above the restaurant door chime. You didn’t bother turning around, but you somehow knew that it was Harry who was behind you. 

“Everything alright here?” Harry asked warily, eyes pointed towards you. 

“Yeah, man. See you, Y/N.” With that, he walked away, hopefully for good. Harry knew everything wasn’t alright with how you’re ready to burst into tears. As much as he wanted to follow him, force an answer out of him as to why you were in such distress, he was more worried about you. 

Standing in front of you, Harry placed an arm on your shoulder, his other hand held the brown paper bag that had both of your leftovers as he didn’t want to eat without you. Your body was tense, not because of Harry’s touch but because of the words that had taken such an effect on you, and you were doing everything to not break down in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“Hey, you okay?” Harry asked softly, bending down slightly to look you in the eyes. Your eyes were pointed down at the ground, thinking that if you looked Harry in the eyes, you were going to break. 

“Uh, c-can you take me to the gym, please?” You asked once you fully gained the courage to speak, but your voice was shaky. 

Harry immediately nodded. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go.” He put his arm around your shoulders and you comfortably nuzzled into his side as he guided you to his car. 

The drive back was silent—the complete opposite from the drive to the restaurant. Instead of happiness radiating out of your bodies, the space felt gloomy. Harry’s mind had spiraled as he drove, thinking about what that man could have possibly said to you. He was torn between wanting to be angry, but he was more concerned for you because you had never been this silent before. 

Once Harry was in front of the gym, you immediately got out before he was able to turn off the car. Using your keys, you unlocked the front door, turning off the alarm system before throwing your purse, not caring where it landed and rushed towards the heavy bags. 

This was where you let all your anger out. The place where you screamed at the top of your lungs with no care on who might hear you. This was your safe space, and if someone was going to judge you for utilizing your safe space, then they didn’t belong there. 

You screamed, punched, and kicked the heavy bag with full force as your tears had streamed down your face. Your heart was beating painfully with every scream you forced out of your body. Your punches were solid, making the bag swing back and forth, but your knuckles were starting to redden because you didn’t wrap your hands. 

Harry quickly followed you, a frown plastered on his face as he watched you let your anger out all on the heavy bag. He let you do your thing, watching from the sidelines before he waited for the right moment to cut in. 

“You. Fucking. Stupid. Piece. Of. Shit,” you yelled out with every punch. You sniffled, continuing to punch the bag, eyes glossy from your endless amount of tears. 

The friction from the leather and your bare skin was rubbing against each other, cutting and peeling open your skin. Your hands had numbed the pain, so you carried on with your punches until Harry had wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest and away from the heavy bag once he started to see redness and blood scattered onto your knuckles. You screamed, your body protesting, wanting to continue punching, but you knew you didn’t have any more energy. 

Turning around in his arms, your face was met with his chest, sobbing into his shirt. Harry’s hands soothed your back, comforting you as his heart ached from the sadness you radiated. Your bloody hands clutched his shirt as you cried, tears staining his shirt. Your whines and whimpers filled the empty gym, echoing back at you. 

Everything hurt—your heart, eyes, body, and your hands were now starting to sting. Harry held you tighter, carefully taking a seat onto the ground and bringing you down with him. You sat in between his legs and your head rested on his shoulder. 

After a moment, he felt you calm down and your body physically relaxed. Mindlessly, his hand brushed your hair back from your forehead, pressing a kiss to your skin. Harry hadn’t realized he did that until he pulled away and he hoped he hadn’t crossed a line by doing that. But when he kissed your forehead, you pulled him closer, burying your face into his neck. 

“Talk to me—tell me what you need, angel,” he said softly, wanting to help and be there for you. The nickname had completely slipped out as he’d been calling you that in his head. He’d never seen you break down at all, so this was very new to him. 

You shook your head, nickname going over your head. “Nothing. Just you.” 

Harry nodded his head, heart fluttering at your words as he held you tighter. He continued to soothe your hair and back as he heard you sigh deeply at the comfort. Looking down at your hands, he realized they were still bloody and cut up, and he knew that your cuts needed to be treated as soon as possible. 

“Can I take care of your hands? I’m still gonna be close, just wanna bandage you up.” You sniffled, nodding your head. Harry slightly smiled, carefully getting up before helping you up. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, first asking you where the first aid kit was, and you two walked to one of the offices to get the kit before going to the restroom. “Wanna sit?” He asked, patting the cold counter. Nodding your head, you placed your hands on the counter, but he quickly stopped you, taking off his jacket for you to sit on. 

“Thank you,” you softly said to him gratefully before jumping to sit on the counter. 

Harry opened the box that contained multiple and different types of bandages, an instant cold pack, thermometer, antiseptic wipes, and scissors. Harry washed his hands well before grabbing the antiseptic wipe and ripping it open. He situated himself between your legs, gently grabbing your hand to rest on his. He looked up at you, first asking you if it was okay to start, and when you said yes, he slowly and carefully started to wipe the area around the cut. 

You watched him as he cleaned your cuts; he was so focused on wiping the blood that stained your skin and was careful not to press too hard because you were starting to bruise already. As you watched him, you felt immensely grateful. It’d been a while since you had a true friend that would help you with anything and take care of you. Your feelings for him had skyrocketed, heart pounding so loud you could feel it in your ears. 

“The guy at the restaurant was my ex-boyfriend, Max,” you suddenly said. Harry looked up at you to let you know that he was listening as he continued to clean your hands. “It was a bit of a messy breakup; he called me names, insulted me, and confessed that he was cheating on me. When I saw him at the restaurant, that was the first time since the breakup, and it was like I relived that day again.” 

“Did he say anything to you?” Harry asked, holding back his anger because he knew the answer,  Harry watched through the window the entire time and noticed your posture and demeanor change, causing Harry to quickly pay and rush outside just in case anything happened. 

“Y-Yeah.” Your voice croaked. “Said I didn’t amount to anything—that I wasn’t anything without him-”

“That’s bullshit, Y/N-”

“I’m so mad at myself.” Tears were forming in your eyes again as you looked down at your lap. Redness brimmed your eyelids as you sniffled. 

“What? Why?” Harry asked confusingly. 

You shook your head at yourself. “For years, I’ve been training—learning how to defend myself for when I need it. I was raised to have a strong mindset, to not take shit from anyone because Don told me not to. But when he came around, I didn't say a word, let alone move a muscle. I hate how he made me weak. I hate how I didn’t stand up for myself.” Your voice was shaky and your tears streamed down your face as you paused for a moment. “He told me that you were gonna leave me just like everyone else in my life did,” you added. 

Harry was seething, breathing in through his nose as his face hardened. He masked his anger because his priority was to comfort you, so he tried to let go of his anger for a moment. 

“Listen to me.” He placed his hands on the outside of your legs, bending down to look you in the eyes. Your glossy eyes looked at him, a small pout on your face. “You’re the strongest person I know, alright, angel?” This time, you heard the pet name loud and clear, making your heart do backflips. “You didn’t let him walk all over you, no, you’re much more mature than him to ever start something. He wanted to see you angry, and frustrated. He wanted to add fuel to the fire, and you didn’t give him the satisfaction. You aren’t weak at all. You’ve got a strong heart, and I’m sure that punch of yours to his nose would damage it for good.” 

You breathed out a chuckle at his last statement, nodding, knowing he was right. Harry smiled, dimples showing proudly as he wiped the tears that were falling from your eyes. Giving him a half-smile, you leaned forward, pressing your face against his collarbones. He stood up straight to wrap his arms around your back. You daringly placed a kiss onto the exposed skin that was peeking out from his shirt. Harry’s face warmed up at the touch that was so soft and delicate, yet felt like it was burning through his skin. You pulled away, looking up at him as you thanked him. 

Your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips as your face was just inches away from him. His face was delicate and his beauty shined over the darkness of the world. It was as if he didn’t seem real like you couldn’t believe someone so beautiful and breathtaking was standing right in front of you. You studied every curve, movement, and freckle on his face as they all very well defined him, heightening your admiration with every look of his perfections and imperfections. 

Harry blushed under your stare, clearing his throat as he felt nervous. He pulled his face away a tad bit, offering you a small smile. “Of course. Always gonna be here for you. Now, let me just finish cleaning your hands before taking you home.” 

You nodded, letting him finish with his task. His hands were gentle as he wrapped the bandage around your hand. Your heart was filled with so much admiration and gratitude that you simply wouldn’t know what to do if Harry weren’t there today. The growing feelings had taken over your heart and mind that you were a bit scared, but nonetheless, you let them take over. 

Harry sat at the bar next to Benny, nursing a beer he had ordered ten minutes ago. It had been a while since they hung out together, but that was because Benny was trying to get his wife pregnant, so when Marianne calls, they spent their time baby-making. The other reason was that Harry was spending most of his time with you, which he loved every minute of. 

“So, a little bird told me that you’ve been going to the gym on Saturdays now,” Benny mentioned, a hint of tease in his tone. 

Harry chuckled. “Really? And who told you that?” He asked, taking a sip of his beer. 

“Starts with a D and ends with an N,” Benny laughed, giving you the obvious answer. 

“Well, I’ve been going in on Saturdays because Don always schedules our training sessions on Saturdays. Nothing else,” he slightly lied. After his first training day with Don, Harry told Don that he wanted to continue training with him because he gets a good workout with him rather than by himself, hitting the heavy bag or speed bag, so Don always scheduled for Saturdays since those were the easiest days. 

But other than the training sessions, he also got to see you on Saturdays, which he really enjoyed because sometimes after his workout, you two would grab a bite to eat or plan to hang out later that day. He liked it, he liked you. 

“Hmm, interesting. It doesn’t have to do with a particular trainer who also happens to own the gym?” Benny raised his brows. 

“Not really into Don, to be honest,” Harry joked, bouncing around Benny’s question. They both laughed, slamming their hand on the bar top. 

“Really, though. I’m happy for you. You’ve been in such a happier mood, and that’s all I want—is for you to be happy. She’s doing a great job,” Benny said honestly. Seeing his friend happy after everything he’s been through had lifted a certain weight off of his shoulders, and it seemed like he didn’t need to worry about Harry. 

Harry simply nodded, smiling as words weren’t necessary. He always felt like Benny was always concerned about him, and although he appreciated him being worried, he didn’t need to anymore because Harry was finally feeling much happier than he was before. 

“There you are.” A voice was suddenly heard next to Harry along with a hand on his shoulder. Harry tensed up, and he hadn’t in a while, but he knew that wasn’t your voice nor was it your touch. Harry turned his head to the side to find Lizette sitting on the stool next to him, giving him a smug smile. He didn’t say anything but look at Benny, and saw his eyes narrow, confused as to why Lizette was here. “I’ve been calling your home and paging you. Why haven’t you been answering me?” She pouted. 

Harry knew that pout all too well. She used it to trick you into saying yes to her and getting what she wanted, but Harry was stronger than that now; he knew how to hold his ground. 

He hadn’t seen Lizette ever since the week before he joined Don’s Box. With all of his time spent with you, he hadn’t really thought about Lizette, if he’s being honest. You had fully taken every inch and space of his mind that it was maximum capacity, but he still found a way to make space from the invading thoughts of you. 

“Just been…busy, Lizette, that’s all,” he said, not giving her his full attention as he looked at his bottle. 

“Too busy for me?” 

“Yeah, something like that.” He didn’t want to outright be rude to her because naturally, Harry was a kind and thoughtful man, so he kept his harsh thoughts to himself. 

She inched closer to Harry, close enough to where her mouth was against his ear as she whispered, “Well, since I so happened to run into you, how about we go back to yours?”

Harry took a deep breath. He felt like he was his old self again—making impulsive and not so thought out decisions that end up fucking him and his emotions over in the future. Being with Lizette was something, and it helped make him feel a little less lonely, even though she immediately left right after she got what she wanted. 

But Harry hadn’t felt lonely at the moment and in months. He had his best friend next to him, having a drink, and he had you. He wasn’t lonely at all. So, why was he getting off the stool and putting his coat on before closing his tab for the night? 

Benny’s eyes widened, looking at Harry as if he was asking what the actual fuck was he doing. Harry simply shrugged, patting his friend on the back before following Lizette out of the bar. The air was cold, but it wasn’t a delightful cold that he wanted to be in. It almost seemed kind of eerie as the gray clouds hovered over them. 

Lizette hugged Harry’s arm. “I’m glad you agreed.” She leaned up to kiss his cheek, but he immediately pulled away, taking his arm out of her hold. 

“You should go home,” he told her. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out as she was confused. “Get a ride home. I’m not taking you home nor am I going with you. I don’t want to do this anymore, Lizette.” 

“But you came with me-”

“That didn’t mean I was saying yes to your offer. I came out here with you to get you off of me and not embarrass me in front of my friend and the entire bar.” Harry’s voice was stern as he crossed his arms. “I know you’ve never really cared about me, so please just do me a favor and leave. I’m happier now-”

“You’re happier? With some other girl, huh?” Harry nodded and Lizette rolled her eyes, expression annoyed as she was beginning to get angry and defensive. “You think she cares? Guess what, Harry, she doesn’t. She’s gonna leave you just like your mom left you, your ex-girlfriend left you. Remember when she fucked your best friend in college? That she left you to be with him? And look at them now, they’re married! They don’t give a single fuck about you! What makes you think that this girl you’re seeing does?” 

Lizette had definitely hit a nerve. Harry had gone four years without hearing the story on how his ex left him for one of his friends from uni. The situation was quite sad, and it left Harry in pieces. Not to mention, Lizette was his ex’s best friend and she somehow seduced him into regularly having sex with her, which wasn’t entirely her fault because Harry was lonely and needed to feel something to fill the void of his loneliness. 

“Don’t think you’re so easy to love, Harry. It takes a lot of effort to do that, especially with you. You’re gonna continue being scared and closed off, and people are gonna continue to run away-”

“Harry?” Lizette was suddenly interrupted by you. You were walking to the bar because Benny had invited you, thinking that it would’ve been a nice surprise for Harry and to hang out with just the three of you. But you had seen Harry and some woman on the street and his face looked angry. “Uh, hi.” 

You turned towards the unknown woman as she looked you up and down before turning towards Harry, raising her brows as she figured out who you were and who Harry had been spending so much time with. 

Harry completely blocked you out, his attention was towards the statements Lizette had made. He had been doing so much better, and all of a sudden the relapse hit him ten times harder, like his accomplishment of being okay with himself completely disappeared. 

 Was he that hard to love? He knew that he pushed people away, that’s for sure, but he didn’t realize that it was difficult to love him. Harry then thought about the people that had left him because they didn’t love him enough to stay. His ex left him for his friend, it seemed like his mum had forgotten about him, and soon enough, Benny was gonna get tired of him and so were you. 

“And you are?” You asked, scowling at the woman in front of you. Lizette smirked, seeing as there was an opportunity right in front of her. She didn’t find you 

intimidating whatsoever. 

“Oh, guess Harry didn’t tell you, but we’ve been sleeping with each other for years. Friends with benefits, if you will,” Lizette answered with some sass and a snarl to her tone as she watched your expression turn into a hurtful one. 

Your face had softened as your eyes welled up with tears, but you didn’t dare let them fall. You looked at Harry and it seemed like he was in his head, but you had no clue he was ‘seeing someone.’ It felt like you had been cheated on, even though going out as friends didn’t mean anything to a fuck buddy. All of the moments you spent with him—the laughs, storytelling, training, and tension-filled moments had connected you both to one another. It made you feel special that you were seeing a side of Harry that no one else had, but you were wrong. 

“Guess you’re the new girl he’s seeing?” 

“What’s it to you?” Your brows knitted. 

Lizette shrugged. “Nothing. Just know that Harry’s difficult and loveless. So, just get out while you can.” She reached over to touch your shoulder, but you quickly stepped back before she could. She was talking as if Harry wasn’t right next to you two, and if this was a ‘women looking out for women’ type of situation, you weren’t going to accept it because she outright just insulted Harry. 

You were livid as your eyes turned dark, stepping closer to her. “Stay away from him, or I swear to god-”

“Or what? What are you gonna do?” Lizette challenged, stepping closer. She was slightly taller than you since she wore four-inch leather boots.

“Wanna find out? Next time I see you with him or hear you talk shit about him again, then you’ll find out because I can guarantee you’ll never see the light of day.” You held eye contact with her as she looked at you with such fierce emotion. 

“Cute. Harry’s got a little bodyguard,” she scoffed, stepping back. “I should go,” Lizette suddenly said, breaking you out of your heartbreaking thoughts. “I’ll call you,” she told Harry, despite what you had just said. It seemed like he wasn’t even listening as his blank stare was trained onto the ground. She walked away, her heels clicking against the cement. The satisfaction she felt right now felt good, knowing her words had definitely affected you both. 

When Lizette was far enough, you turned back towards Harry. This time, he was looking at you in a confused state, and it didn’t seem like him. 

“I-I didn’t know you were seeing someone-”

“You should go…” he said straightforwardly. You raised your brows as you were taken back. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“You should leave. For good. Get out of my life while you can. I promise I won’t get mad.” His voice cracked and was shaky. He couldn’t even look you in the eye while he was talking because he knew that would break his heart even more, especially if you were to actually leave for good. The negative thoughts had taken over, and this was what he did—pushing people away and giving them a way out before they realized that Harry wasn’t a lovable or worthy enough person to stay around for. 

“What makes you think I’m going anywhere?” You questioned confusingly. You wondered if he even thought about the conversation you two had a few moments ago when you had told him that you were staying for good. 

“They all do, anyway. They all leave and they never come back.” His voice was starting to raise slightly, frustration and anger pouring out of his veins as his eyes were starting to tear up. A pout remained on your face as you watched the distress never leave his angelic face. “Just please go.”

“I’m not going anywhere-”

“Why won’t you-”

“Because I care! Why don’t you get that?” You raised your voice, not too loud to startle him, but enough to convey your emotions and frustrations to him. 

“Because you’re going to eventually! You’re gonna leave and use me and never love me. I’m used to it, so you could go now!” Harry was starting to cry, light sobs were coming out of his mouth as he was trying to hold them back. You took a step forward, wanting to comfort him as your heart broke at the sight, but he stepped back, not wanting your touch. 

Your heart sank when he stepped back away from you because he had never done that before. You two were always comfortable with one another that both of your touches had felt like security. Your tears had streamed down your face, quickly wiping them. 

“Harry, I’m not gonna leave…” 

“It’s fine. You don’t know what it’s like for someone to leave and never come back. You don’t know what it’s like to feel completely loveless that someone physically had to get out of your life and not want to be in it anymore. You don’t know what it’s like!” He spoke firmly as he cried, tugging his curly locks in frustration. 

“I don’t know what it’s like?” You spoke loudly, and Harry looked up at you. “I know exactly what it’s like because my own mother left me when I was eleven-years-old, and I have no idea why!” You vented, sniffling. “You don’t think I know what it’s like to constantly wonder what you’re doing wrong because the people that were supposed to be there for you completely vanished? Because I do! I know that feeling quite well. So, don’t tell me I don’t know shit because it seems like we’re in the same boat.” 

Harry was speechless. Sure, you two had been close and had talked about your lives and childhood, but this was something that you two had to dig deep for because it wasn’t something you regularly spoke about nor did you tell new people that you’d just met. 

“I-I’m sorry I had no idea…” 

“You couldn’t have had any idea, Harry. But just know that that day my mom left me still confuses me. The look on my dad’s face when he told me that mom left still haunts me. The crying I did since I was eleven hurts me because she didn’t love me enough to stay.” 

“Y/N…” 

“It’s fine, I get it. I know we’ve known each other for only a few months, but I did not expect this from you, especially because of all that we’d talked about. I’d say I’m the newest person in your life but I’m also the closest, besides Benny. So, don’t shut me out.” Your heart was beating through your chest and all of your emotions began to pile up like they were leaves, falling from the branches of the trees. 

Harry looked defeated, knowing that you were right. He sniffled, not knowing what else to say because all he felt was a painful feeling in his chest since Lizette had gone up to him at the bar. 

When he didn’t say anything, you just nodded, knowing that it was best to give him some space so he could realize that you were here for him and that you weren’t going anywhere. 

“Call me when you wanna talk…” you told him before turning around. Harry watched you—he knew that he should go after you, not be scared and let you in, perhaps tell you that he’s practically in love with you, but he doesn’t move, feet glued to the ground. 

When you were only a few feet away, you turned back around, knowing that you hadn’t gotten your final words out yet. Harry looked up when he heard footsteps approaching him. 

“Fuck whatever people say to you; trying to degrade and bring you down because whatever they say, it’s not true. I will always be there to defend you, Harry. Don’t think I won’t be because I will always be on your side.” You paused for a moment. Your heart was fully opening and was beginning to be vulnerable. Trying not to let it overwhelm you, you continued. “Don’t think you’re not easy to love because you are. You’re extremely easy to love, y’know that? I would know because…I love you. And that’s crazy to say because we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, but I can’t help what I feel. So, there you go.” 

Before Harry was able to say anything, you walked away, and he could hear you sniffling and crying. Harry’s mouth was ajar, completely speechless and shocked, but his heart fluttered as he took in your words. You really loved him, he thought. No one had said those words and really meant them or they hadn’t felt real to him when he heard them, so the shock that he felt was new. 

You were far enough where Harry couldn’t see you. He hadn’t even moved an inch, and he knew that later on, he was going to be very disappointed in himself for not chasing you down and telling you that he loved you too. But for now, he needed to take it all in and hope that when he did tell you, it wouldn’t be too late. 

Taking a deep breath, you walked inside to your apartment, sniffling as you went straight to the bathroom to take a long and hot shower. Before you left your place to go to the bar, you had been contemplating your appearance because you wanted to look good. Nerves were all over your body as you were getting ready, and you sulked at how the events had completely turned tonight around. 

When you were out of the shower and changed, ready to get into bed despite the night only being nine in the evening, your pager beeped. Picking it up off the bedside table, the message was sent from Harry, reading ‘143.’ You raised your brows, reading it again and reading it once more. Your heart was pounding, studying the numbers to make sure you read them right. The simple code for ‘I love you’ was printed on your pager and you wanted to scream. 

Before you could actually scream, there was a knock on your door. You walked quickly, opening it as Harry was standing behind it, holding his pager out as he smiled softly at you. You had just finished crying in the shower, so your eyes were red and a tad bit swollen, but you were close to crying again because of how overwhelmed you felt. 

“Did you mean it?” You asked hesitantly, holding your pager up. 

“Of course I do. Did you mean it?” He retaliated back, wondering if you meant your three words as well. 

“Of course I mean it, Harry. Why wouldn’t I?” You asked, wiping the tear that had slipped down your face. 

“Because I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much that it hurts,” he claimed in one breath, feeling the tension and weight that he held in his shoulders release. “You’re everything to me, and you make my world less frightening. I just see your pretty smile and my day completely turns into a great one. I don’t wanna waste a day not telling you that now, and it feels pretty damn good to say it.”

You slightly nodded until you remembered one of your concerns earlier. “What about Lizette?” 

“Lizette was someone I used to sleep with. I haven’t seen her nor slept with her in months—before I even met you, I promise. And I’m sorry for assuming that you didn’t know what it felt like for someone to leave and that you had to tell me under those circumstances. But just know, that I’m not gonna leave, unless you tell me to, that is.” Every bit of him was opening up and he wasn’t hiding away. He was being completely vulnerable and it had scared him a bit, but when his words came out, he felt himself get better. 

You looked at him through your glassy eyes, vision blurred for a moment until you adjusted them and clearly saw the gorgeous man in front of you. His eyes were filled with tears as well, and you thought, how could someone still look so pretty while they cried? But that was Harry for you; someone who was genuinely beautiful no matter what. Someone who had a heart of gold and a flashing smile that made your heart swoon and knees weak. 

You simply reached your hand out and Harry walked towards you, into your apartment as he came close to your face as your bodies were pressed up against one another. The back of his fingertips gently brushed the side of your face, admiring the beauty that stood before him as he opened his heart up completely, not wanting to go another day without saying those three words back to you. 

The corners of your lips turned up and your tears were replaced by happy ones. You had walked away from Harry after you said I love you because he was looking at you like he had seen a ghost, not a friendly one, but more of a scary one. So, hearing those words were just music to your ears. 

“You mean that? That you love me?” You wanted to hear it again and again and again. 

“Ever word. I love you, angel,” he repeated, adding your nickname. He pressed his forehead against yours, inches away from your lips. 

“Never stop calling me that,” you instructed him, smiling. The first time he had said it, you came to the conclusion that you absolutely loved hearing that name come out of his mouth, especially if it was specifically for you. 

“Only if you never stop telling me that you love me,” he slightly smirked, dimples poking out. He was so immensely happy that his heart could burst just because of the love that he felt for you. 

You giggled. “I love you, baby-” 

“I, uh, wait. Do you mind…not calling me that?” He hesitated, and you raised your brows confused. “Someone else called me that, and I just don’t like hearing it. Never have since it came out of her mouth,” he explained shyly. 

A sudden realization came to your face as you realized that Lizette probably called him that. “Okay. I won’t call you that, ever…darling.” Harry’s lips began to slowly turn up, already liking that name so much better than the other one. He hugged you; and you smiled, closing and opening your eyes to make sure you weren’t dreaming. Your arms snaked around Harry’s waist as he cradled your delicate face in his hands. 

“Never stop calling me that,” he repeated your words as you two smiled and laughed until your jaws started hurting. 

His eyes flickered down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You pursed your lips, blushing as you watched his eyes glance back up and down. You rubbed the tip of your nose against his, pulling him closer; hearts beating in sync as butterflies filled your stomach. 

He brushed his lips against yours before fully connecting them, feeling every spark and shiver that traveled down his spine. You smiled into the kiss as the softness of his lips moved and molded against yours, feeling completely in bliss. The way his lips slotted perfectly with yours made you saturated and dizzy off of his love and touch. Butterflies were still in your stomach, but they were calm like they had been fluttering around for this moment, his touch, in order to relax. 

Pulling back, he smiled down at you, eyes love-struck, before giving you another kiss, and pulling away and kissing you again once more. 

“Kissing you is my new favorite thing,” he stated, drunk off kisses. You breathed out a giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck as you breathed in his scent. You felt his breath against your neck, feeling completely happy and content in each other’s arms. 

There was no fear in the air; just the two of you with open hearts and arms, welcoming in the new and profound feeling that you both took in, knowing that it’s going to change everything for the better. 

You pulled him inside and Harry kicked the door closed with his foot. His arms were holding you tight as you walked back to your bedroom. Opening your mouth slightly, Harry took the chance to meet your tongue with his, swiveling and tasting each other causing a shiver to run down your spine. 

You pulled back when Harry laid down on the bed, taking in the gushy feeling you had as you smiled. 

“Want you,” you simply stated. 

“You have me, angel.” 

“I know, but I want you. Need you,” your eyes pleaded for his touch, to feel him inside of you, for him to make you feel good. You desperately craved for his hands on all of you, his mouth kissing every inch of your skin, and his love passionately pouring out of his veins. 

Harry nodded, smiling. “Need you too. Need you forever,” he said, connecting your lips again as he hovered over you. 

You two kissed for a while, giggling against each other’s lips and having his weight on top of you as your hands roamed his back. You bucked your hips into his, feeling the hard-on that was growing in his pants, which made Harry grind into your center, moaning softly into your mouth. 

“Please do something,” you said, and he nodded, getting off of you before taking his jacket and shirt off swiftly. His tattoos were showcased in front of you and all you wanted to do was kiss every single one of them. “You’re beautiful, Harry,” you complimented, and he blushed, a soft ‘thank you’ came out of his mouth. Next was his pants, and before he was able to take his briefs off, you stopped him, telling him that you wanted to do it. 

You got off the bed, switching positions with him as you were now standing up as Harry laid down on the bed. You smiled, eyes glancing all around his body. He suddenly felt shy and intimidated under your stare, but he knew he had no reason to be because you were simply admiring him. This time around when it came to physically be vulnerable with someone, he knew he didn’t have to worry anymore when it came to you. 

You took off your lilac nightgown, exposing your body to Harry’s eyes. Your nipples had hardened due to the exposure to the cold. His eyes glimmered as he gazed at your stunning and beautiful body. Every curve and inch was something he tried to remember, and he was quite speechless at the sight. He reached out, gently grabbing your hips as he roamed his hands up your body and to your breasts, grabbing both in each of his hands. 

He looked up at you and you smiled down at him as he placed his mouth on your left pebbled nipple, sucking and licking it as his hand fondled with the other. You laced your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp as he did so, switching over to your right nipple. 

Harry pulled away, looking at you. “You’re an actual angel. You’re so beautiful.” 

“Harry…” you blushed. 

“You are, angel. So beautiful. Can’t believe I get to see you like this.” He kissed the valley of your breasts and down your stomach before getting up and pushing you down onto the bed with ease. He settled in between your legs, arms hooked under your thighs. 

Continuing kissing down your stomach, he reached the hem of your underwear, looking up at you before asking, “Can I take these off? Wanna make you feel good—the same way you always make me feel good.” 

“Please. Take them off. Wanna feel your mouth on me,” you pleaded as your arousal heightened. You wrapped your legs around his back, eagerly pulling his head towards your center, making Harry let out a chuckle. 

“Easy, angel. Not going anywhere.” Harry kissed your stomach once more before pulling off your beige underwear. You were glistening below him; you made a complete mess in your panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet. This all for me?” 

“Mhm. All for you, Harry, please,” you whispered impatiently. Harry’s dirty talk had only increased your need for him as it was quite surprising to see this side of him since he was more on the shy and reserved side outside, but nonetheless, you loved both sides—you loved him. 

Harry leaned down, pressing multiple kisses to your inner thighs, nibbling on the skin gently. You bucked your hips as he trailed his kisses towards your pussy that was eagerly waiting to be touched and licked. When he got there, he pressed a kiss to your clit before kitten-licking your sensitive button, making you softly moan. 

His tongue licked into the entrance of your pussy, gathering your arousal on the tip of his tongue to lubricate your clit even more. 

“Fuck,” you groaned as your hands found his curly locks, tugging at them gently. 

“You could do that harder, I don’t mind it,” Harry told you before going back to eating you out. You pulled harder and Harry deeply groaned against you, sending vibrations up your body. 

His hands wandered around your body, feeling the softness of your skin against his hands. Your skin had formed goosebumps due to his touch, and Harry smoothed out your skin so you were warm. He sucked on your clit quite harshly, earning a moan of his name from your lips as he grabbed both of your tits in his hands, squeezing them. 

You placed your hands on top of his, squeezing them with him, and Harry almost came at the sight of that. There you were, moaning his name out, getting your pussy eaten, and squeezing your tits on top of his hands. A sight he truly was lucky enough to see. 

Harry pulled one hand away to rub your clit as he tongued around your wet hole before tongue fucking you. He rubbed your clit at a moderate speed, enough for you to thrust your hips off the bed. Harry pulled his other hand that was still on one of your breasts away to pin your hips down onto the bed. 

“Stay still for me, angel,” he instructed, voice deep that made you even wetter. “You taste so good. Could eat you out all day.” 

“Harry…” you trailed, whining desperately for your release. “W-Wanna…cum…need to.” Your sentences were broken and Harry thought that was a good sign, knowing that he was doing so well you couldn’t form a proper sentence. 

“Tell me what you need. Let me know, so I can get you there.” 

“F-Fingers,” you told him, and he immediately brought his fingers to your clit, rubbing it before inserting two fingers inside your pussy. He thrust slowly, curling his fingers up to feel your walls.

He felt you pulsing around him as your legs were wrapped tightly around his back as you screamed his name over and over again. 

“C’mon, love. Give me one,” he encouraged, thrusting his fingers a bit faster. 

Once he hit the spot over and over again, you saw stars. Your vision had gone white for a few seconds, and you felt dizzy. The pleasure that ran through your body was overwhelming in the best way possible and you choked out a few sobs. It had hit you like a brick that you saw coming, but you were still surprised and shocked by the impact. 

Your hands held Harry’s hair tight that he thought for a moment that you might actually rip it off. Harry rubbed your pussy as you came down from your high, licking your orgasm that was seeping through your cunt, taking every drop of it. He looked up to see your head thrown back, chest heaving, and a vein that was bulging against your skin. He kissed your thighs while his other hand trailed across your body. 

When you finally were able to catch your breath, Harry kissed up your body, leaving the softest and loving kisses to your skin as you were quite sensitive. You grabbed his face, bringing his lips to yours as you immediately stuck your tongue in his mouth, swirling it with his to taste yourself on him—a mixture of his taste and your orgasm all on his tongue had made you wetter. 

Harry was grinding himself against your leg, trying to relieve some pressure. 

“Want you,” you told him once he pulled away, looking at him intently. 

“You sure?” 

“Absolutely. Please? Only if you want to-”

“I definitely want to. Just wanna make sure you were sure,” he breathed out a chuckle. 

“Course I want to.” There was a bit of silence between you two as you were simply just admiring him as he hovered over you. “Are you gonna fuck me, Harry?” You broke the silence, and Harry broke out of his trance, shyly giggling before getting off the bed. 

He peeled away his briefs, cock standing straight up from the slight painful restraint. He was big—girth and length wise, and you felt your mouth salivating from just looking at him. He got back on the bed, in between your legs as he sat on his knees. Spitting on his hand, he grabbed a hold of his dick, stroking it to relieve the pressure. The view was beautiful in every single way possible, and you didn’t dare to bat an eye because you didn’t want to miss one second of it. 

Wanting to take over for him, you reached forward, replacing his hand with yours as you slowly stroked his cock for him. Harry had a smug smile on his face but soon changed into a face of pure pleasure as your hand worked against him. His mouth was open as he let out a soft moan, looking down at your eyes as you were looking up, completely loving his reaction to your touch. 

“You’re so pretty, Harry,” you complimented as you continued to touch him. Your other hand reached forward to fondle with his balls, rolling them into your hand as Harry whimpered. “Love seeing you like this. Most gorgeous man I’ve seen in my life.” 

“Please, angel, you’re being too nice…” he managed to groan out, hands gripping your thighs. 

“But it’s true. Look so pretty when you’re like this, but also when you’re hitting the heavy bags. When we go out to eat and you mindlessly drink your entire drink while waiting for the food. But I think you’ll look extra pretty than you already are if you cum.” Your words of declaration were getting him on the edge as you stroke him. The way your voice slightly changed as you looked up at him with the most innocent eyes made him thrust into your hand, gripping the flesh of your skin as he threw his head back. 

“You think so?” 

“Mhm. Gonna be so pretty when you cum all over my body, my tits. Can you do that? For me, can you do that? Please?” You were completely begging for it, but even with all the begging, he knew that you had all the control right now. 

Your feet rubbed his calves up and down, and it was the simplest touch, but it heightened Harry’s need to let go. 

“Wanna cum for you, yeah.” His breaths were heavy and harsh as your touch was focused on his tip, wrapping your delicate hands around the head where he was most sensitive. 

Harry’s moans stuttered as a series of profanities slipped from his lips, spilling onto your stomach and breasts. You smiled to yourself as you studied his face when he came undone; his mouth was open, occasionally biting his lip, and eyes shut closed as his head was thrown back—he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, and the fact that you got to see him like this was an honor. 

When he came down from his high, he slowly opened his eyes, meeting yours, staring right at him. You smirked, body covered in his orgasm, and he thought that was a picture worth taking. You were gorgeous covered in his pleasure that you caused, and you seemed to love it too since you made no effort to wipe it off. 

Boldly, he leaned down, dragging his tongue from your stomach to your tit, spending the most time on your breasts as he nibbled and licked your nipples, collecting his orgasm from your skin and held it on the tip of his tongue until he reached your mouth. You willingly opened your mouth as his tongue delved right in, feeding you his cum. 

You two passionately kissed, tasting him ever so sensually. You moaned into his mouth, thinking about how the sight of Harry licking his orgasm off of your body was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen. With your hips jerking up, you felt yourself getting wet again and in need to release once more. 

You whimpered, pulling away. “Please. Need you so bad.” Harry nodded, agreeing. 

“Condom?” He asked, and you immediately reached over to your bedside table, ripping open the condom before rolling it onto his dick that was still hard. 

Harry curled in his lips, watching you. You gave him a few extra strokes for good measure, earning a soft moan from his mouth. He took his length in his hand, running the tip up and down your slit, collecting your arousal and lubricating his cock. He gave you one last look and you nodded before he slowly pushed in, indulging in your wetness and softness. 

A moan came out of both of your mouths, feeling completely full and warm for one another with the stretch Harry had on you. He planted his elbows on both sides of you, holding himself up over you as he slowly began to thrust. 

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Feel so good for me.” He placed a kiss on your lips as he whispered. He found a rhythm as he started to move faster, rocking his hips against yours, making you moan. 

It was a feeling like no other, and it was the amount of love you two had for one another that made this experience much more special. Love was practically oozing out of both of your veins, filling the room to its maximum capacity as the both of you moaned out in pleasure. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms looped around his back, hugging him closer to you as if he couldn’t get closer. You whined into his ear, the sounds of your pleasure were music to his eyes, sending a shiver down his body, making him jerk. But that jolt had hit your g-spot, and you screamed out in ecstasy. 

“Right there. Keep doing that. Keep fucking me,” you managed to say. Harry maintained his pace, going deeper, and fucking you into oblivion as you kept crying and screaming his name out. 

Harry’s lips attached to your neck, nibbling and licking your skin, leaving a few decent size love bites that he was sure to admire when they’d fully formed. Your nails had raked down his back, leaving a burning but pleasurable sting down his skin, letting him know that he was doing an amazing job. 

“You like that?” He groaned into your ear, leaving chills rising onto your skin. 

“Mhm. Just like that. Don’t stop. I-I’m so close.” You threw your head back into the pillows, and Harry took the opportunity to attack your exposed neck with kisses again. Your hands found Harry’s hair, tugging at his curls as he kissed you. That encouraged him to fuck you harder and faster, repeatedly hitting your special spot. “O-Oh…” 

“Come on, angel love. Cum for me, please. Wanna see you make a mess around me,” he encouraged you. 

With a few more thrusts, you were done. You had fully and completely released around him as your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks. Your vision had gone white for a few seconds, head dizzy, and your breaths were caught in your throat as your hips involuntarily jolted, meeting his thrusts that were fucking you through your high. 

Harry started to thrust sloppily, burying his face in your neck as he spilled into the condom. His hot breath was against your skin as he started to slow down, coming down from his orgasm. 

The room was silent as the only sounds present were the heavy breaths and the post-orgasmic whimpers coming from your mouth as you two held one another. Your nails gently scratched down his back, contrasting to the desperate and needy scratches that you had given him just a few minutes ago. 

Harry lifted his head up, meeting your eyes before connecting his lips against yours, tongue meeting first before your lips moved in sync so passionately and lovingly that you both unspokenly agreed to never taste another pair of lips again. 

“I love you so much,” Harry said, resting his chin on your chest. 

You smiled down at him, eyes gleaming as you looked at your love, your entire heart, the man that had stolen your breath and heart just by one look. 

“And I love you too.” 

Waking up to the warmth of the body next to you was your favorite thing in the morning—had been for six months now. The sight next to you was something you wouldn’t get used to as you always found yourself feeling so lucky every single time you woke up next to him. 

But a pout formed onto your face when you saw that the space next to you was empty. The crinkled yellow sheets were left, missing a certain person that you had been excited to see this morning since you closed your eyes the night prior. 

Turning over to your bedside table, you grabbed your pager, seeing if you had any messages, and one specifically stood out to you, making you sleepily smile at your pager. 

“Goodmorning, angel,” Harry greeted as he stood in the doorway of your bedroom. He was wearing a gray sweatsuit, holding a white paper bag in one hand and a smoothie tray, that held two smoothies, in the other hand with a loving smile plastered on his face, making his dimples poke out. 

“Mm. Hi, darling.” Your arms reached forward, gesturing him to come to you, and he gladly did, situating himself on your body as you wrapped your arms around him. 

You two stayed like that for a moment, basking in the presence and gratitude of one another. It was nice until your stomach started growling, making Harry chuckle. 

“C’mon, gotta feed my girl before we head to the gym.” He got off of you, helping you up and out of the bed before helping you make the bed. He walked over to the kitchen before you went to the restroom, and when you walked out, Harry had your breakfast set on a plate. 

You two made light conversation, mostly enjoying the silence and tastiness of the food before you got ready to go to the gym. 

When you walked into Don’s Box, you were immediately greeted by a few of the members, giving you high fives, as well as saying hi to Harry. The entire gym had found out you two were together when they started to notice Harry coming into the gym almost every day and staying until the gym closed, so a few people had their speculations. Don was certain you two would get together from the very beginning, and he had told you that the only reason he was trying to act intimidating when Harry first walked in was that he sensed that something would happen, and he was right, something did happen. 

Benny was ecstatic; jokingly telling Harry that he could now spend time with his wife since you had taken all of Harry’s time now, which Benny earned a push from Harry towards the ropes of the ring. Benny’s wife was also pregnant and wanted Harry to be the godfather, which Harry immediately took on that responsibility and role. But that also meant since you and Harry were planning on staying together for the long run, you were becoming a godmother as well, which you were very excited about. 

You climbed up into the ring as Harry followed. You had a day off, and no one needed your attention other than Harry, so you helped him put on his gloves after you wrapped his hands in tape, and you put on your mitts, making sure they were tight before clapping the mitts together—Harry punched his gloves together, making sure they were comfortable. 

You raised your brows at him teasingly. “Ready, darling?” 

“Ready as always, my angel,” he responded, and you smirked. 

“Give me a good one. Give me 1.” 

talk to me about your favorite moments, your thoughts and feelings about this pls! thank you for reading <3

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 

Warnings: Click Here

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Pt 32 - Me, Lu, and Five Times Two

He's me?

Confused you looked over at the older gentleman, your eyes scanning him up and down trying to figure out what Five meant. Everything seemed typical for a middle-aged businessman but then you noticed it. The pair of familiar eyes looking back at you. You looked back up towards your boyfriend just to make sure you were seeing things right. After all that commotion at the commission, you were worried your brain might have been scrambled. But when you looked back over you realized you weren't going crazy because they matched.

"Five," you called softly

Commission Five felt his heart jump as you called his name. He had heard your voice in his head and the imaginary version of you said his name plenty of times before, but watching you say it alive and in front of him felt different. In a good way. A very good way. You tried to step out of the embrace you were sharing with your boyfriend but as you pulled back he pulled you in tighter. There was no way he was going to let this old, mess of a man take you away from him. Rolling your eyes, you used your powers to phase through his arms quickly so no one would notice. Turning around you made your way over to commission Five.

Although he had met your eyes before, he now looked down at the ground. How could he bring himself to look at you after the mistakes he had made in the past. You died because of his rash actions. Slowly, you stepped closer and closer to him.

Although you couldn't gauge his expression with his face down, you knew Five like the back of your hand and had a good idea of what was going through his mind. You weren't told much about your death but you knew enough about the events that occurred. One of those events being that Five witnessed it. It was and most likely would always be his biggest regret. When your boyfriend had first seen you again upon his return he was emotional and apologetic. Since this was him before the time jump you could only imagine that this version was feeling the same way. Maybe more so since he was seeing you again without any preparation. You felt for the guy. That was still your best friend there. Stepping forward toward the other version of your friend, you slowly opened your arms before gently wrapping them around him.

Commission Five stood there frozen, shocked by the realness of it all. As he started to process what was going on though he slowly wrapped his arms back around you, holding you tightly like his life depended on it. If he let go he worried you would disappear from him again.

Academy Five on the other hand could feel his blood boil in a way that he had never experienced before. Maybe it was the paradox psychosis getting to him? No, he wasn't experiencing psychosis at all. He was fine! It was more likely because of the scum of the earth with his grubby hands all over HIS girlfriend! His eyes narrowed on his commission version and if looks could kill his other self would've been six feet under by now. It truly was a miracle that he was still standing, but every second more that you hugged that washed-up walking failure, Academy Five became less and less stable. Unable to stand you hugging him one more second, Five stated,

"Alright, that's enough."

Pulling you from the hug, Five wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, your back pressed flush against him. The two Fived glared at each other with malice in their eyes. You could feel the tension building in the air and shot a look to Luther for some kind of help. These were two versions of your best friend, you didn't want to make either of them feel bad but your entire existence around these two was like walking a tight rope. Instead of helping Luther shot back a shrug and it was with that action that you knew you had to try and figure this out on your own. Taking on a sarcastic tone you comment to Academy Five,

"Y'know, I knew we would have to deal with jealousy at some point but I never thought it would start with yourself."

"Jealous? There's nothing to be jealous about with him." Academy Five remarked, his glare unwavering

"Don't flatter yourself you little jack-off." Commission Five retorted

Feeling the tension in the air grow, you broke out of your boyfriend's hold and stepped in between the two using your presence as a divider. If one thing was true about Five, it's that if you wanted something he would do it for you. Trying to ease the hostility you suggested,

"ALRIGHT! How about we just sit down and chat for a little bit?"

The Fives continued to glare at each other. Their silent intent to harm seemingly having no end. Trying to get them to quell their mutual antagonism was going to be more of a challenge than you thought. Reworking your original statement, you added,

"It would make ME happy if we sat down and chatted."

You could see the change in their facial expressions as they dealt with the conflict between being mad at the other and wanting to make you happy. Obviously, one was more important to them compared to the other and after a moment of silence the two of them let out identical huffs and simultaneously agree,

"Fine."

Luther happily goes to sit down trying to avoid being in the middle of the shit show that was brewing before him. You stand there as the two Fives stand-off, each waiting for the other to make the first move. They had to prove to you that they were the superior Five. Rolling your eyes, you gesture to the two seats across from each other that still had pints of beer in front of them.

"Let's SIT." You emphasized

Slowly, the two of them start to make their way towards their respective seats, eyes locked on each other to make sure the other didn't pull something. When they finally sit down you head over to join them but as you approach the empty seat your boyfriend jumps back up from his to pull the chair out for you. Caught off guard, you freeze in place before realizing what was going on. Slowly, you take your seat as Five pushes your chair in.

Academy Five shot a shit-eating grin towards his counterpart. He was the better of the two Fives and he was going to make that known to the other one and you.  That bag of dust had nothing on him and he knew it. Commission Five on the other hand shot back a death glare. How dare that late-stage puberty sack have the idea to pull out your chair like a stupid little gentleman. You wait for Academy Five to make his way back to his seat and sit down before turning your attention towards him, to the dismay of Commission Five. Taking a breath, you put on a more serious tone as you ask your boyfriend,

"So...do you have any semblance of a plan to get out of this timeline, Five?"

Five's smug look drops as he finally realized that he wasn't actually expecting you to be here with him when he confronted himself. And now with his idea to use you as blackmail out the window any leverage he had over his counterpart was pretty much gone. Sure, he still had the main plan of getting the briefcase but that was about it at this point. With his lack of response, you leaned forward and questioned,

"Five?"

"Well...like I told you back at Elliott's, it's a Hail Mary." Five replied

"Which is?" You press

"I want to use the briefcase that Scummy the Commission Agent over here has since HE DOESN'T NEED IT." Five responds, annoyance evident in his voice

"Although a little rude in your delivery, that's a solid plan. What's the issue then?" You quest

"HIM! He's the issue. He doesn't want to give it to me!" Five exclaims

You turn your head towards Commission Five and see him scratching the back of his neck. He was starting to look ill in a similar fashion to your own boyfriend. You were concerned about his state of being but also about your ability to get out of the 60s. You needed to find out why he wouldn't help you out. Trying to be polite about the situation you question calmly,

"Five, why not? We're not supposed to be in this timeline, and that could help us get home."

"I can't trust him." Commission Five replies bluntly

You furrow your eyebrows at his response. He couldn't trust himself? Had he lost his mind?

"But he's you...?" You questioned confused

Commission Five knew that this might be confusing to you since you saw them as the same person. The problem was that they were two completely different people. One of those people, being him, who was better and the other version, worse. Taking your hand in his, he looked into your eyes and politely explained,

"That's exactly why mon chérie."

Almost on instinct Academy Five jumped up from his seat. His hands slamming onto the table as he leaned towards Commission Five's face. With a look of disgust plastered on his face, Five exclaimed,

"Don't you dare call her that!"

Turning his attention towards his counterpart Commission Five pulled his hand away from yours as he slowly rose from his seat. Placing his hands down on the table the two Fives mirrored each other as Commission Five angrily questioned,

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because that's my girlfriend, you geriatric cunt. Back off." Academy Five commanded

"How about you make me, you pubescent prick." Commission Five taunted back

"Both of you, sit down!" You demanded

As you spoke, you used your powers and quickly whipped the two of them down into their seats. Thank god everyone was too drunk to notice though because there would be a lot of explaining to do otherwise. You held the two of them firm in their seats as they both wriggled around for a bit trying to stand back up. When you could tell that the two of them had finally relented you let them go. As you looked at the both of them sternly, Commission Five looked back at you with awe. He had read about all the training you did in your journal but it was impressive to see it in action. Awestruck, Commission Five commented,

"Your powers have...gotten stronger since I was last with you."

"Yes, they have and if you two don't chill out I'll demonstrate how strong they've gotten by burning this place down with all of you trapped in it." You reply firmly

Luther looked towards you, his eyes wide with concern as he quietly pointed to himself as if to ask "me too?". Looking back at him, you thought about it for a moment before replying,

"Maybe. But definitely, the two of them if they don't calm down."

"Well, I would happily die if it was at your hand." Commission Five mentioned, still in awe of you

"Well, I'd die MORE happily!" Academy Five stated as he leaned in more towards his counterpart

The two of them leaned across the table as they glared at each other once more. Rolling your eyes you pulled them back into their seats with your powers and held them there again. You looked at the both of them as they seethed with rage, not letting up your grip even as they started to sit quietly. Sweat droplets built upon their faces and the air around the table was less than pleasant to smell. As much as you were annoyed, you were also concerned. They looked ill and the amount of anger they were outwardly expressing was unusual for them. You'd expect this amount of anger out of Luther or Diego, not Five. You were starting to feel that their proximity to each other in this one timeline probably was not the best. Maybe if you mentioned it to them you could get to the bottom of things.

"Both of you, shut it and listen. Now I'm not the prick who is," you explain looking at Commission Five before turning to your boyfriend "or was a time-traveling mercenary, but I have done copious amounts of time travel research because I thought I could somehow use my powers to get you back-"

"You tried to get me back?" They ask in unison, surprised at the statement

"Yeah of course I did you, dumbasses. What about the term best friend don't you understand?" You remarked

As both Fives were forced to sit there, they thought about what you said. They were always so focused on getting back to you that it never occurred to them that you might attempt to get them back as well. Like you had said, you two were best friends and with the evident fact that you loved him the same way he loved you, it was stupid not to think that you would do anything to get him back by your side. As they thought more they both started to realize that the evidence was always there in your journal. All the times you had mentioned reading quantum physics books, or writing theorems, or trying to figure out if you could open wormholes with your powers. Sure it was never written as a direct statement but all the clues were there to show you were working to get him back. If you weren't using your powers to forcibly keep them in their seats both of them would've hugged you at that moment. As you held them there you continued saying,

"But that's not the point. My point is that if I had to make an educated guess, I don't think it's good that you two are in such close proximity to each other."

Your boyfriend's eyes went wide with surprise and in an impressed tone he responded,

"Wow, I didn't even explain what paradox psychosis was to you and you already know it's bad."

"I'm sorry- paradox what?" You questioned

Confused, you looked between the two Fives for some type of explanation because the dumb look on Luther's face led you to believe he wasn't quite sure of what to do in this situation. You watch as your boyfriend opens his mouth to speak but before he can get any words out Commission Five jumps in and states,

"Paradox psychosis. I can't believe he wouldn't explain something so important to you mon chérie."

"Stop calling her that." Academy Five complained

Ignoring his complaint though, Commission Five kept his eyes on you as he continued with his explanation.

"Paradox psychosis is a series of seven symptoms that occur if you are too close to yourself in the same timeline. They include denial, itching, extreme thirst and urination, excessive gas, acute paranoia, uncontrolled perspiration, and, ultimately, homicidal rage."

Slowly, you nodded your head as you took in what paradox psychosis was. You silently watched them, your eyes darting back and forth between the two as you noticed the symptoms already occurring. The sweat on their faces, the scent in the air, not to mention the way both of them were itching the backs of their neck at the moment. Hell, you could've been mistaking paranoia for jealousy. Trying to confirm the situation at hand you commented,

"So what you're telling me is that you two are already suffering from this."

"I am not." Commission Five retorted

"Neither am I." Academy Five added

Denial. Great...

"Suuuure...it's totally unlikely that you two are on a collision course to try and kill each other," you remarked sarcastically

"From the looks of it, they'd probably kill each other even without the psychosis." Luther mumbles

Unfortunately, Luther mumbled his comment too loud. Upon hearing his remark the Fives pointed at each other as they simultaneously exclaimed,

"I'm not suffering from psychosis! He is!"

Worried by the new information on paradox psychosis and stressed due to the constant dissonance between the Fives you knew you could not continue going on with this in your current state. Standing up from the table you exclaim,

"Ugh! if you two are going to keep lying to yourselves then I need a drink."

Rummaging through your jacket pocket you try to look for some cash to buy a drink, but remember that you had changed out of your bloody clothes back at the commission. Realizing that you were out of money, you commented,

"Shit. I don't have any cash on me."

As you looked around for maybe some spare change on the floor to purchase a cheap beer with Commission Five pulled a bill out of his jacket pocket and extended it out towards you.

"Here's a twenty, get whatever you'd like." He said with a kind smile

"You realize this is a lot of money for this time period right?" You mention

"I know." Commission Five replied

"Alright..." You replied resigned

Taking the massive amount of money you head over to the bartender to get something to drink. The two Fives watch as you walk away but when you're finally out of earshot Commission Five turns back to the table with a smug look.

"Hm. Imagine not having money to give your own girlfriend." He commented sarcastically

"Fuck you and your blood money. I get steadiness from her and you don't." Academy Five retorted

"Steadiness? What the hell does that mean?" Commission Five questioned

"Oh, you wish you knew!" Academy Five exclaimed back

Luther looked around and saw that people were starting to stare. It was surprising they hadn't earlier but this was getting more awkward by the minute. Placing a hand on his shoulder, Luther tries to grab the attention of the younger-looking version of his brother. Leaning in towards him Luther stated in a hushed tone,

"Five, calm down you're making a scene."

"Luther. Can I talk to you in private?" Five demands

Before Luther could reply, Five grabbed him by his jacket, pulling him over towards the entrance of the bar where they stood before confronting his other self. Turning around the bar with a drink in hand you watched as your smaller, angry boyfriend pulled along his gigantic, dumb brother. You had no clue what was going on but with a shake of your head, you headed back to the table. As you sat back down in your seat you saw Commission Five looking off at the young version of himself. Trying to get his attention you called,

"Five?"

Quickly his attention turned towards you. It was nice sitting here with you without that loudmouth constantly complaining across the table. It just felt natural to sit with you even after all the years he was gone. Placing your drink on the table you slid the rest of the money over to him. With a smile, you said,

"Thank you for the drink, Five."

For the first time in a while, a genuine smile came to Five's face. After all the suffering he went through it started to feel worth it just to see you happy.

"No problem. You know I'd do anything for you." He replied

"I know you would. Which is why it doesn't make sense to me that you don't want to help get us back to the right time." You state gently

Even if they wouldn't acknowledge it, you knew both Fives were under the influence of their paradox psychosis, but the Five you knew was still in there somewhere. You had to figure out what was holding this version back from giving you the help you needed to get out of here. You looked towards him, waiting for an answer and Five looked back. Seeing the pleading look in your eyes, Commission Five knew that he had to say something. There was no way he couldn't. He didn't want to let you down. Lowering his voice, Commission Five leaned in as he explained,

"(Y/N), it's complicated. He wants me to jump to 2019 so he doesn't disappear and just let him have the briefcase. That's not a good plan for anyone, let alone you."

"Five, this plan is all we have. Even when factoring out the psychosis-" You start to comment

"Which I don't have," Commission Five interjects

"Which you apparently don't have," You continue "You're still being a little ridiculous."

"No, I'm not." He retorted

"You are! This plan probably benefits you more than anyone else. You get to go to 2019 just like you wanted, stop Vanya from blowing up the moon and be the hero who saved the earth from the apocalypse. On top of that, you also get to see a version of me that hasn't seen you since the day you left." You tried explaining to him "You get everything you wanted, so I don't understand the hesitation."

"I told you. I can't trust him." Five reiterates

"But why?" you pleaded "This is all we have."

"(Y/N), look at him. He's arrogant and thinks he knows best when he obviously doesn't. All he does is leave a path of death behind him with a path of destruction in front. He's just a pile of mistakes that only keeps growing."

Five paused his explanation and looked towards his teenaged counterpart. As he did so, you could see a glimpse of something in his eyes. Letting out a breath he continued,

"And he abandoned you in time. I don't get why you'd still want to be around him..."

You took a look towards your boyfriend as you processed Commission Five's words. There was something about them that felt off. Quietly, you sat for a moment as you tried to figure out what it was. And then it hit you. He wasn't talking about the Five across the room, he was talking about himself. He viewed himself that way. He couldn't trust your Five because he couldn't trust himself. Slowly, you turned back towards the older-looking Five, your expression saddened by your realization. Placing one of your hands on top of his, Five's attention turns back to you. With a sympathetic smile, you gently answer his question.

"Because I love him." You reply softly

"How? After all that he's done, how can you still say you love him?"  Five questioned, his voice barely a whisper

"Because Five is more than his mistakes." You emphasized gripping his hand just a bit tighter when saying his name

Commission Five didn't know how to feel. The remorse that he had carried with him still lingered but there was also a hope that was building. Maybe there was a chance that you could love him despite everything he had done in his life. But even if he agreed to this plan that you were going along with there was one concern that he still had,

"I just don't want you to get thrown through time and have something go wrong again."

"Five I've lost my home, my friends, and my family twice. When I leave this timeline it will be the third time I've left a home, friends, and family behind. If we can get back to 2019 I can at least get my second home back. Won't you help me? Please?" You explained sadly

Five saw the sad look on your face and the pain that you tried to hide behind your eyes. You always tried to make the best of your situation, he knew so from your journal entries, but that didn't mean you were fine. With that look on your face practically begging for his assistance he couldn't say no to you but the concern was too great to say yes either. Giving a slight nod of his head he stated,

"I'll think about it."

You let out a sigh as you took your hand back from his to take another sip of your drink. The two of you sat in silence for a moment and all you could hope was that when it came time, he would change his mind. Across the bar, Luther stood with Academy Five. He looked at this manic version of him as he suffered from the staged of paradox psychosis. Trying to ease the situation Luther commented,

"Five. You need to calm down. I meant it when I say that you were making a scene. People are still staring now."

Five didn't hear a word his brother had just said though. The only sounds were that of the violent thoughts he had in his head and the angry beating of his heart. There was only one solution to make all of his anger go away. Worse-Five had to go. Looking up towards Luther, Five responded,

"Luther I want you to kill him."

"What?" Luther questioned confused

"All you have to do is use your big monkey man hands to crush his skull." Five explains

"Yeah, that's not what's going to happen here." Luther retorts

"You're right," Five states

"Thank you!" Luther replies

"We should take him out back so no one can see." Five adds as he looks for the best way to get Commission Five out of the building

"Five, I'm not going to kill him at all." Luther clarifies

"What? Why not?" Five questions angry and confused

"Because if I kill him, he doesn't jump to 2019 and then you disappear," Luther explains

Five stops for a moment to take in Luther's statement. It was true that he would disappear but he still really wanted that other version out of his sights and away from you. Taking on a more neutral tone, Five stubbornly replies,

"Perhaps."

"And then I have to deal with your angry girlfriend because I caused you to not exist. And if (Y/N) is upset then Diego is going to get upset and they will kill me. Not ATTEMPT, they will." Luther continues

"That is a strong possibility" Five remarks

"And then the rest of our siblings find out, and if I somehow make it out alive, they will also get mad that I technically killed you. So no, I will not be killing him." Luther finishes

Five paused as he considered what Luther had said. Although he was still very much against it, Luther was right. They still needed his other self so he would have to live...for now.

"Fine." Five huffed "I just don't like the way he's acting around my girlfriend."

Besides trying to keep Five from causing a scene there was something on Luther's mind that he wanted to talk about with him. Taking a deep breath, he looked off to the side as he mumbled,

"Yeah...speaking of that."

"You think he's awful too?" Five questioned, curious as to what his brother had to say

"Well-" Luther tried to speak

"Who am I kidding, of course you do! You can see how stubborn and stuck up he is." Five interjected

"Actually I wanted to bring up something about the way you're acting," Luther replied

This was about the paradox psychosis again wasn't it? Five knew for a fact that he wasn't suffering from it. This was all just some type of side effect related to how upset the other Five was making him. Pseudo-symptoms due to his anger and frustration really. Before Luther could go on any spiel about the psychosis that he wasn't experiencing Five stated firmly,

"I'm don't have paradox psychosis."

Luther knew that denial was one of the stages of psychosis and Five was most definitely experiencing it but for now, he would put that aside to try and get to his point.

"This isn't about psychosis. this is about (Y/N),"

"Is it because I didn't have money to get her a drink? I didn't feel right stealing money from Elliott's place but now I'm thinking I should've-" Five started to explain

"Five, no. that's not it." Luther cut off

"Then what is it?" Five asked

It was at this moment that Luther realized how under-prepared he was for this. He didn't expect to get this far and now he wasn't quite sure what to do. The emotionally constipated man was attempting to have a heart-to-heart with his young-ish brother about a topic that he didn't even know if he had the words for. As a leader though, it felt important to him to guide Five in the right direction, so he tried to piece the words together as he explained,

"Okay, well. Y'know. I've just noticed that uh- so you've been using this word steadiness a lot and I- uh- well...I feel like it might mean something else and...I just feel like we should maybe discuss-"

"Luther stop." Five commanded

Even with all the anger and stress that was occupying his mind at the moment, Five wasn't an idiot. He could see his brother flailing as he tried to have a conversation he knew nothing about. Trying to stop Luther from making a fool of himself Five explained,

"If you are implying that you feel the need to give me some type of ''talk'' because of my boyish appearance and relationship status I'm going to ask you to refrain."

"What why? I mean, that's uh- not what I was saying...kind of. But why?" Luther questioned confused

"Why?" Five asked almost surprised "Because you are the least qualified person on this planet to talk about this subject. I would rather ask Diego knowing full well it would become a physical altercation than talk to you about this."

"I don't understand," Luther replies

Five didn't know if his brother got dumber during his time in the 60s or if he was always this stupid but it was only showing now. Either way, it was slightly concerning how his walnut brain couldn't even comprehend why he wasn't the man for this job he was attempting. He needed to try and explain his point in the simplest of terms or else Luther was never going to grasp it.

"Luther, you have been in love with your sister your whole life! That already disqualifies you from speaking on any subject related to love or relationships" Five states "But more so your one and only ''experience'' was with a stranger when you were under the influence. So for the sake of everyone, refrain."

"Listen, I just wanted to help my brother." Luther remarks

"You want to help me? Keep whatever you wanted to say to yourself and stick to being a spotter."

Luther opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but shut it quickly after. Was he really that unqualified? As the two of them stood there silently you were also silently sipping on your drink, your conversation with Commission Five only over a few moments ago. As you continued to sip though, you could feel yourself getting a bit warm. Was it the heat or the alcohol? You didn't know, maybe it was a bit of both. Even in November, Dallas heat was still Dallas heat. Taking off your jacket you placed it on the back of your chair before placing your arms on the cool tabletop. As you placed your arms on the table, out of the corner of his eye Commission Five noticed something on your arm. Carefully, he reached his hand out and lightly brushed the red spot on your arm. Even the lightest touch though sent a shot of pain through your arm causing you to pull it back quickly. Your boyfriend, noticing this sudden action from across the room, quickly rushed back over with Luther following close behind.

"What did you do to her?" He demanded angrily

"Nothing!" Commission Five quickly replied, "You think I would hurt her?"

"I don't know. The word of a hitman doesn't seem reliable to me." Academy Five critiques

"But you were a hitman two weeks ago."  Luther comments

"Irrelevant." Academy Five retorts

Ignoring the conflict between the two, you looked at the wound on your arm. It wasn't huge but even cauterized it still didn't look good. As your boyfriend kept his eyes trained on Commission Five you added,

"Five, he didn't do this."

This? Five turned his gaze away from himself and towards you. His eyes went wide as he finally noticed your injury. Sitting down in his seat he carefully grabs your hand and brings your arm closer to him. Gently, he ran his fingers over the wound causing you to wince slightly. His anger morphed into concern as he saw your pained reaction. Looking at the injury once more he recognized him exactly what it was. In a worried tone, Five said,

"Darling, this looks like it came from a gunshot."

Hearing those words Commission Five leaned in to get a better look at the injury. It didn't take long for him to agree that it came from a gun but he wouldn't agree out loud with the little twerp about that.

"It just grazed me, I'm fine." You quickly explained, "And anyway I cauterized it."

"So it is a gunshot wound." Commission Five commented

Your eyes went wide. In your haste to try and make everyone less worried by saying you were fine, you instead just admitted to being shot. In front of both Fives. Instead of saying any more you opted for silence and bit your tongue. Through that silence though the wheels started turning in the heads of the Fives. You watched as their eyes started to widen and the mix of concern and anger spread over their faces.

"How did this happen?" Commission Five asked frantically

"Who did this to you?!" Academy Five demanded

You weren't getting out of this, were you?  This was not going to go over well. Taking a deep breath, you let it out before starting to explain,

"Well that's a funny story...you see when I went out to look for Charlie, I actually got drugged and kidnapped by Lila."

"You were kidnapped by Lila?!" Five exclaimed

"Yeah, I got taken to the Commission isn't that crazy?" You try to joke nervously

"You were taken to the Commission?" Commission Five questioned alarmed

"I was and I had the displeasure of meeting your boss, The Handler." You stated

"YOU MET THE HANDLER?!" Both Fives shout

You could see the negative look on both of their faces. Nobody wanted to be in the situation you were in now but if they were going to find out then you might as well be honest with the two of them. Letting go of your reservations to not draw their concern you explain,

"I did and she's really cocky, not as smart as she thinks she is, and is totally jealous of the fact that I'm dating you. Like she tried to insinuate that you and she slept together."

Disgust filled the expressions of both Fives. How dare that even be a thought in the handler's mind. Neither Five liked the Commission and even more so did they hate working under her. That woman was insane. Repulsed by even the thought of her statement to you, Commission Five quickly replied,

"What? Absolutely not."

"I would say unbelievable but that sounds just like something she would pull. And per usual she is 100% lying." Academy Five added annoyed

"Yeah, she seemed like a manipulative bitch, but I knew she was bullshitting it. I don't think she likes me very much though. I made her pretty mad and she threatened to kill me." You reply nonchalantly

"She threatened your life?" Commission Five questioned

"(Y/N), I swear if she so much as laid a hand on you-" Your boyfriend threatened

You didn't know what to tell him. Obviously, she had laid a hand on you when she grabbed your face but if you told him so you had no clue how he would react. With your silence, you had said all that Five needed to hear. In a low tone, he stated,

"Her time is running out. I'm going to make sure of it."

There was something about the look in his eyes when he said that, that made you go quiet for a moment. You had seen many different emotions cross it before but this was different. It wasn't quite anger, nor concern. No, it was...intent. This wasn't just a promise of her demise, it was a guarantee.

"Sorry to interrupt but you still haven't explained how you got that," Luther said, breaking the silence

"Oh right! So I escaped and then I blew up someplace called the tube room because it looked important and so they sent security to stop me. And I was surrounded, right? So I committed a massacre and killed all of them. Like I turned that white marble red. Total blood bath. Anyway, one of them wasn't fully dead so they shot at me and it grazed my arm, so I went back and I pulled out his beating heart. And now I'm here, with you guys!"

"I feel like there's a lot more missing from that statement and yet there is already so much to unpack," Luther comments openly

The table goes quiet for a moment. The two Fives look towards you before looking back at each other, and for the first time, you think they might actually be on the same page. Maybe even with their paradox psychosis, your story could bring them together. Your hope for that fades though when Commission Five accuses,

"This is all your fault. How could you let her get hurt?"

"My fault? You haven't broken your contract yet. You're still working for the group that hurt her!" Academy Five remarks

"I'm not the one who let her out of my sight so she could get kidnapped." Commission Five replies

"Well, you could've killed The Handler long before any of this happened." Academy Five retorted

"So could you!" Commission Five exclaims

Bar patrons looked over towards your table once more and with your tolerance level starting to go down again you decided it was time to wrap things up here. Slamming your drink back you place the finished cup upside down on the table before standing up. The two Fives cease their bickering for a moment to look up at you as you start to talk,

"I understand that we have a lot of feelings given the current situation. But this constant fighting in public is getting ridiculous."

"JFK is gonna be at that grassy knoll in an hour and I want to see history happen so I can brag to my friends when I get finally home. Because I will be getting home." You emphasized "Now, someone at this table is gonna make that happen for me. So if any of the idiots at this table have any desire to keep me happy then let's get a move on."

With your speech finished you turned away from the table and walked out the door. There was no need to deal with them much longer as you had more important things to deal with than whose fault it was that you got a boo-boo from a gun. You had been through worse. With you out of sight, the three guys were left at the table alone.

Without saying a word, Luther quickly stood up and walked away from the table as well. He knew better than to do anything to upset you. You had already been mad at him once and after hearing about your massacre at the commission he did not want to see what your full extend of anger was. With Luther gone, the two Fives were the only ones left at the table. Neither said anything but the animosity was still palpable and was only growing. Silently, the two of them got up from their seats and walked over to the door you had exited from not making eye contact with each other. Academy Five could feel his frustration brewing as he looked at the people around him. They were all judging him. If he could fight them all he would but there was no time. Looking around the Fives found you leaning against the wall outside the pub with Luther standing by, an uncomfortable smile on his face. Looking at the duo you questioned,

"You two idiots ready to go?"

Both Fives nodded. Standing up from the wall you made your way over to where they stood.

"Alright, I'm ready to see the president and then go home. Who's leading the way?" You ask

"He will." your boyfriend says shoving past Commission Five "I'll walk with you."

Five takes your hand in his, placing a gentle kiss on the top of it before bringing it back down to his side and holding it tightly. Turning back towards his older-looking self, He gave him a cocky smile as if trying to make him jealous of the two of you.  and from the annoyed reaction on Commission Five's face, it was working. To rub salt even more into the wound Academy Five suggested mockingly,

"We better get a move on. Don't want to disappoint the lady now do we?"

Commission Five almost started to vibrate with anger at his words. That's it, this little shit wasn't making it out alive. He was a deformed mutant copy that needed to be eradicated. There was a chance you would be upset but in the end, he would be doing you a favor by removing this asshole from your life. Turning around, Commission Five started to walk away from the group with his two briefcases in hand. Calling behind him, he commanded,

"C'mon Luther."

Luther looked at you and Five before jogging a bit to catch up with the old man. Hands still interlocked the two of you started to follow behind, a bit of distance between you and the pair in front of you. You could feel the accumulation of sweat on your boyfriend's hand as you held it. It was honestly a bit gross how much sweat there was. You couldn't blame him for feeling the symptoms of something out of his control, but you wanted to get this plan over with. As the group walked onwards towards the grassy knoll you couldn't help but feel like you had forgotten something. It couldn't be something too important because then you would remember immediately but it still bothered you enough that you wanted to remember. As the four of you approached a staircase leading to a bridge, you finally recalled what you had forgotten. Your jacket. Remembering that you left it back at the pub you stopped in your tracks. Confused, Five turned to look at you.

"I forgot my jacket at the bar, I'm gonna go back to get it, alright?" You state "Try to stay calm and don't get into anything stupid with yourself while I'm gone."

"Don't worry I am completely sound of mind." Five responded as he frantically scratched himself

"I don't believe that." You reply monotonously and concerned "and I am now going to make this as fast as possible solely because that was your response."

Turning around you started making your way back to the bar as fast as you could. You knew that it was risky to leave the two Fives with each other given how incompetent Luther was about the situation but you hoped that they could at least stay calm for the few minutes you would be gone. Five watched you run away before turning around and following Luther and Commission Five up the step of the bridge. Up ahead Commission Five and Luther walked side by side, their voices low as they spoke on the plan they had formed in the bathroom of the bar.

"All right, just be cool till I finish the job on the grassy knoll. We'll get the time math and I'll ice the squirt." Commission Five explained

"I still don't think it's a good idea. (Y/N) will lose her shit and I'm really not feeling this plan after she admitted to committing a massacre and ripping someone's heart out you know? My self-preservation is kicking in." Luther comments concerned

"Listen, I told (Y/N) I'd think about the plan that the little shit presented. I thought about it, and I believe ours is better. He's too reckless for her." Commission Five elaborated

"Uh, okay...I just wish there was another way, you know?" Luther replies

"There isn't. Look at him." Commission Five suggests

As they continue to walk, the two look over their shoulders at the younger-looking version of Five. Irritable and constantly scratching himself, he yelled from afar.

"What are you looking at? See something funny?"

"Worst case of paradox psychosis I've ever seen." Commission Five commented with a shake of his head

Luther continued to stare at the version of his brother that had returned in 2019. Sure he was acting wild but was it really so bad that he deserved death? And what about you? He knew for sure that this was probably not your desired outcome for this scenario. Noticing the sad look on Luther's face, Commission Five questioned,

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I feel bad for him. And (Y/N)." Luther whispers

"Mind your business! Or I'll give you something to stare at." Academy Five shouts from behind the duo

"He's just a little guy. And she only got him back recently. I mean they've only been together for like a week and a half in total." Luther continues

"Everybody's a little guy to you. You look like King Kong and the Hitler Youth had a baby." Commission Five replies "And listen I understand your concerns but this is the best option. In the long run, everyone will be happier without him. (Y/N) included."

"You wish you could pull off these shorts!" Academy Five yelled

Luther looked back at the version of Five behind him. The more he saw that version going off the rails the more he believed in Commission Five's plan. And although he was becoming more and more convinced that this was the best solution something just felt off to him. Commission Five was Five and Five loved you but killing the version that you're dating? It still didn't feel right no matter how much he agreed with the rest of the plan. Unsure of things, Luther tried to get reassurance from Commission Five by questioning,

"I know I keep asking but are you sure? I really don't feel like this is the best plan for (Y/N)."

"Don't worry I am completely sound of mind. And right now I believe this is the best plan. I'm her best friend, I would know." Commission Five answers "Now Luther, I don't have time for you to tuck and squeeze here. Can I count on you to keep him under control?

"Yeah, I'll do my best, yeah,"  Luther responds

"All right." Commission Five replies

As they neared the end of the bridge Commission Five started to walk ahead while Luther waited behind for Academy Five. Putting on a nervous smile, he let out an awkward chuckle as he fiddled with the back of his jacket.

"Hey, brother. How you doing?" He asked tensely

Academy Five could see through his brother's facade. He wasn't here to be a spotter anymore, he was just taking the direction of the person who looked like they had the most authority. As they walked together down the stairs on the other side of the bridge Five comments,

"He's gonna kill me, isn't he?"

"What? What, him? He's gonna kill you? Yeah, right. That's ridiculous." Luther answers, his upbeat tone making his lies more evident

"You know, you're a terrible liar, Luther. You're a worse liar than you are a spotter." Five angrily whispered

"Okay, who's fault is that? What good is having a spotter if you won't even listen to him?" Luther remarked back

"So you admit you're conspiring against me?" Academy Five questioned

"Do you admit that you're suffering from paradox psychosis?" Luther retorts

"All I'm suffering from is bracing clarity about you and your murderous intentions." Five states firmly

"Look, it's not like he's gonna kill you kill you. He just wants to kill a, um...version of you." Luther tries to rationalize before walking away

Five couldn't believe that Luther was alright with killing him. He was the brother that came back. He was the one who was trying to keep everyone safe from the apocalypse he lived through. He's the one who has been trying to make sure everyone got home. Sure, Luther had proven himself over and over again to be prone to making poor decisions when confronted with a higher authority but could his pea brain not comprehend any complex thought on the situation? Was it really that difficult for him to expend energy on his critical thinking skills? Trying to catch up to Luther, Five loudly reminds,

"But I am that version of me!"

"Hey, I don't love it, either, but he's actually got a pretty good plan." Luther states

"What? The one where you guys off me and then jump to 2019 to save the world?" Five remarks sarcastically

"Yeah, wait, how did you know that?" Luther questioned confused

"Because I'm him, and that is exactly what I would do if I were trying to kill me!" Five explains

"Okay, all I know is we've got one Five too many, and you're the one acting like a maniac." Luther remarks

"Maniac? Luther, you have seen nothing." Five retorts angrily, jumping at his brother "If you want a maniac, I will show you maniac."

Luther retreated slightly away from the feral teen. Maybe, just maybe, Five was bluffing but the manic look in his eyes coupled with his erratic body movements amongst other things said otherwise. Luther could tell, that Five was not doing well. As Five walked away from him Luther followed quickly behind. Luther was done trying to rationalize with the teen. As he caught up to him Luther reprimanded,

"Okay, as your spotter, I think the best thing I can do for you right now is put you out of your misery."

Five scoffed in response. Luther was unbelievable. Turning around to face the giant man, Five grabbed him by the shoulders so the two of them faced each other.

"Okay, Luther, listen." Five starts to explain "I know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority, so listen very closely. Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues, this time with your own brother, which honestly is making me a bit crazy. But remember this: I'm 14 days older than him. I have seniority here. So it is me you should be listening to, Luther."

Five pauses to look at Luther. He felt like he was going insane due to his brother's deep-rooted daddy issues. Feeling like he was going to burst Five exclaimed loudly,

"I'M THE DADDY HERE!"

Luther noticed as the people walking by stared at him as if he was the parent to an misbehaved child. With a forced laugh, he tried to ease the awkwardness of the situation. Looking around as the people passed he put on a smile and said,

"How's it going?"

With the bypassers starting to look away, Luther bent down and took Five by the shoulders. Forcing him to walk forward he quietly criticized,

"Five, please, you're being unseemly. Look at you."

"I admit there is a possibility that I may not be in my fully...right mind right now." Five admits

"Okay, good," Luther replies

"But whatever I've got, he's got it too." Five commented pointing towards the other one

"You two quit grab-assing. We're here." Commission Five called from in front of them

Slowly the two of them followed behind into some type of fenced-off parking lot. Standing from afar they watched as Commission Five placed down the two briefcases he was carrying. As he bends over the sound of gas being passed came from the direction he stood. Luther stood there shocked as he recalled,

"Flatulence. Stage four."

A smirk appeared on Academy Five's face. All this time Luther refused to believe that Commission Five was also suffering from paradox psychosis. He was the older and more rational one to Luther but now he was fully exposed as suffering from psychosis. The daddy issues really ran deep in him, didn't they? Clasping his hands together, Academy Five leaned forward towards Luther. With the cocky smirk still on his face, Five sarcastically questioned,

"See? What's your plan now, bucko?"

Luther did not have a plan anymore. Both Fives were suffering from psychosis and neither could be trusted to make rational decisions. Looking back at the smaller of the two confused, Luther once again hears flatulence this time coming from the Five in front of him. Looking back towards Luther, Five quickly denies,

"That was just lunch, all right? Shut up."

Five walked away from Luther, trying to prevent any oncoming psychosis accusations from him. Taking a look around the area he tried to spot you, hoping you were somewhere close by, but it was to no avail. Glancing over towards his Commission self, he thought about the plan that he and Luther came up with. Was that man truly so jealous that he felt murder was the only option? Or was it because he felt that Academy Five wasn't good enough for you? Either reason was plausible and both infuriated Academy Five beyond belief. He was not going to have you lose him ever again. That briefcase was his and you all were going to go home, ALIVE. Once again by his brother's side, he saw the briefcase in the distance unattended as Commission Five started to put his gun together. His blood boiled and his head started to twitch unnaturally as he stared at the item.

"Look. The briefcase." He whispered

"No, don't. You won't be able to get there in time." Luther remarked, his voice low

His eyes started to blink rapidly as his breathing became shaky. He needed to get that briefcase and he needed to do it now.

"Of course I will. This is our only chance." Five explained

"Hey, uh, just remind me what was the final stage of paradox psychosis again?" Luther questioned

"Homicidal rage." Five stated flatly

"Right." Luther said upbeat before realizing the answer and taking on a concerned tone "That's great."

Five couldn't wait much longer. He had the opportunity to get everyone home and he was going to go for it. Crouching, he slowly started making his way towards the briefcase. As he started to make his way over Luther protested,

"Five, listen to me. I...No. No!"

Instead of listening though Five continued to move towards the case. Using the reflection of the scope on his gun Commission Five, could see his counterpart's every move. Waiting for the time to strike he watched as Academy Five took off in a run before spatial jumping to get to him. Reacting equally, Commission Five spatial jumped back towards where Luther stood. Holding the gun up he aimed it at the teen's head as he remarked,

"Bad idea, shit-heel."

Frustrated by the situation at hand, Luther marched over towards Commission Five and grabbed the gun out of his hands. Directing his attention towards both Fives he scolded,

"Stop it! All right? The both of you. Pull it together. Now, Kennedy is gonna be coming around that corner any minute. Okay? So, everyone, let's just take a deep breath."

Taking a deep breath, Luther looked towards the two Fives waiting for them to follow. Both shakily inhaled and exhaled as they stared the giant man down. With both Fives standing silent Luther continued,

"Now, we're all family here, okay? So can we all just try to get along for a few more minutes?"

The two Fives looked at Luther for a second and if they were ever going to agree on something besides you, it was this. Looking towards his commission version, Five asked,

"You want it?"

"Go ahead." Commission Five responds

"What's that?" Luther questions

Without saying a work Academy Five kicks his leg up nailing Luther right in the crotch. A rush of pain floods through him as he drops to his knees unable to move.

"Shit..." Luther groans

"Now..." Commission Five starts

"Where were we?" Academy Five finishes as he adjusts his jacket

The two Fives start to spatial jump about the place, each trying to beat the life out of the other. Homicidal rage had taken over and there was nothing to stop them at this point. Each Five with their own goals in mind, fought the other trying to gain the upper hand in the situation. As they fought you were on your way back from retrieving your jacket. Getting closer to the staircase where you and your boyfriend had parted you got a bad feeling in your gut. It wasn't just an intuition feeling though, it was a physical feeling. There was a disturbance large enough nearby that you could feel it like a jab in your stomach. Your eyes shot wide as you realized there was only one way that molecules in this area were being disturbed so much you could sense from afar.

"Five." You said to yourself

Picking up your speed you started running up the stairs and across the bridge following the direction of the disturbance. Running down the flight of stairs on the other side you noticed the multiple flashes of blue light. Following the display of lights, you found yourself in a fenced-off parking lot. From where you stood you watched as the two Fives jumped around the place each trying to cause harm to the other. As they flashed into existence one more you saw as Commission Five nailed a punch directly to your boyfriend's face. Sucking in air through your teeth you comment,

"That's gotta hurt."

The two jumped around the lot a bit more but in a second's time, your boyfriend landed an equivalent punch to Commission Five's face. Throwing him off his rhythm, Academy Five followed his punch with a kick to the chest sending Commission Five back a bit. A grimace rose to your face as you continued to see the battle go down. Luther on the other hand was finally starting to recover from his pain. As the two Five flashed on either side of him, he stood up a little taller and tried to reason,

"Would you please..."

It was useless though. Neither of them stopped to listen, instead, they both kicked Luther in the gut at the same time before flashing away one more. Filling with rage, Luther yelled at the two,

"Hey! I'm getting really sick of this!"

Realizing the violence was now starting to extend to people besides each other, you started to cautiously make your way from the parking lot entrance towards the corner they were located. The two Fives flashed into existence once more. Breathing heavily, they stared each other down, the homicidal rage still lingering in their eyes.

"Getting tired yet?" Commission Five mocked

"I can do this all day." Academy Five remarked

"Guys, this has to stop." Luther tries to interject

"Eat shit, Ape Man." Both Five retorts

The two Fives run and jump at each other, causing a giant explosion of energy, sending them back onto the ground, and causing you to drop to your knees. The force of the explosion shocked your system and felt as if someone had speared you right through your abdomen. As you looked down at the ground, taking a few deep breaths, Luther had picked up Commission Five's gun. Pointing it between the two Fives as they laid on the ground, he angrily explained,

"Hey! Assholes! I'm done listening to you both. I'm in charge now."

With wide eyes to two quickly rose to their feet. Pointing in the direction of Academy Five, Commission Five commanded,

"Now, Luther! Shoot him!"

"No! Luther, shoot him!" Academy Five replied, pointing back

"Shoot him!" Commission Five emphasized

"No, Luther, shoot him." Academy Five retorted

As the pain started to subside you looked up from your spot on the ground towards the group not too far ahead of you. With the world coming back into focus, and the words that they were saying becoming clearer, your eyes went wide. You watched as Luther moved the gun back and forth to point at each Five, both of which were demanding the other be shot dead. This couldn't happen, there would be a horrible outcome either way and yet you were frozen in place. As Luther stood with the gun ready to shoot Commission Five continued to demand,

"Luther, shoot him!"

Slowly, Luther pointed the gun towards Academy Five. Looking back at his brother his eyes were wide with shock and fear. He couldn't be shot, this couldn't be how it ended. At the hands of his daddy issues ridden brother, and a manic version of himself whose only authority was he looked his age? No. Five looked between Luther and the Commission version of himself pleading,

"Luther, shoot him."

"Now, Luther!" Commission Five exclaimed

"Luther..." Academy Five begged

You could hear the desperation in your boyfriend's voice as he tried to get his brother to point the gun away from him. The saddened and fearful look on his face gave you the push you needed to snap out of your shock at the situation. You were not losing anyone today, but especially not your best friend. As you started to stand you could quietly hear from afar Luther say,

"I'm sorry, buddy."

"NO!" You shouted

The world around you started to feel like it was going in slow motion as you ran towards the group before transporting your molecules from behind Luther to in front of them. Raising your hand as you reappeared you forced the barrel of the gun up towards the sky. The force of the movement caused Luther's finger to slip and accidentally hit the trigger sending a shot up high and causing you to fall back onto the ground due to the recoil. Hitting the ground, you could hear the echoes of the gunshot as the world returned to normal speed. Realizing what had just occurred both Fives' eyes went wide with panic. Quickly rushing towards you, they called out,

"(Y/N)!"

Hearing your name, you sat up from the ground and look between the two Fives kneeling at your sides. The sound of the gun sent a panic through both of them as they looked you over for injuries. The last thing either of them wanted was for you to be hurt. As you looked between the two you could see the fear in their eyes. The last thing they wanted was for you to get hurt again

"Are you okay?" Commission Five asked, panic evident in his tone

"Are you in pain?" Academy Five questioned concerned

"Guys, I'm fine." You responded

All you had done was fall down and you had probably taken worse falls before so you were sure you would be fine. The two Fives looked over you once more before turning their attention to each other.

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't bring that gun!" Academy Five yelled

"No! This wouldn't have happened if you didn't jump back in time!" Commission Five shouts back

"I saved her from dying in the apocalypse." Academy Five exclaimed

"Yeah well you didn't save the world she lived in, now did you?!" Commission Five remarked

"AHHHH!" Academy Five screamed as decked Commission Five in the face

Jumping over your legs, he tacked Commission Five to the ground. Standing up, you brushed the dirt off of your pants and witnessed as the two Fives rolled around on the ground shouting and fighting with each other. As you stood there watching them fight each other you realized they weren't going to listen to you if you were even relatively okay. And even if you tried stopping their fighting forcefully, and explaining what you wanted to happen, they still were so enraged with each other that they weren't even thinking about anything other than killing each other. The only time that it seemed like the real Five cut through their psychosis was when they were concerned about your wellbeing. And then it clicked. If you wanted them to truly listen to you, you couldn't be working towards the end goal you desired, they had to work towards what would make you happy. Or at least they had to believe they were doing so. You had to go to the extreme opposite of what they wanted. You needed to be sad.

Acting wasn't quite your specialty but you had helped Addison rehearse lines enough times that you had an adequate grasp on how the look and sound of different emotions were. Taking some short heavy breaths you started to mimic the sound of sniffling as you used your powers to collect water molecules from the air forming fake tears in your eyes. Taking a deep breath you hoped that this would be convincing enough for the two Fives. Letting the breath go you started to sob aggressively. Immediately, both Fives stopped fighting and sprung to their feet, quickly making their way back to you. Taking your face in his hands, your boyfriend asks,

"Mon chérie, what's wrong?"

"Did I do something wrong?" You cried

"What do you mean?" Your boyfriend questioned

"You could never do anything wrong!" Commission Five tried to comfort

Turning your attention specifically to Commission Five you lean more into your "sadness". Letting out a loud wail you collect more water by your eyes to make it seem like you're crying harder. Looking up at him with your face drenched in tears you exclaim,

"N-no I had to do something wrong! I had to do something for you not to like me anymore!"

"Not like you? You're my best friend." Commission Five tries to explain

"Then w-why won't you h-help me get home?" You stuttered "I don't belong here and if w-w-we stay we're all going to d-die in a nuclear apocalypse!"

"I- uh- I-" Commission Five

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" You wail

Worried that the lack of genuine sadness might begin to show, you threw your face into your hands and let out exaggerated sobs. Luther and Academy Five looked between your small sobbing figure and the old version of Five who looked like he was at a loss for words. Commission Five couldn't let you die, his whole purpose for surviving through the apocalypse was to make sure that you didn't die, and he wasn't going to go back on that now. Placing his hands on your shoulders he calmly says,

"You're not going to die. I'm going to make sure you get home."

Lifting your head from your hands you wipe your eyes as you start to sniffle more quietly.

"You will?" You ask softly "You'll give us the briefcase and go to 2019 so I can get home?"

"I will." Commission Five affirmed

You nodded your head at him before turning around and looking towards your boyfriend.

"Five! Open the portal!" You commanded

Five blinked a few times as his brain tried to get up to speed but once he knew what was going on he responded,

"Right."

Within seconds blue energy started to whir as he opened a portal through time back to the day of the funeral in 2019. Feeling the emerging disturbance grow as the portal became larger and larger you did what Charlie had instructed you to do all those years ago. Instead of fighting the energy that coursed through you embraced it having it flow in and out through you like a cycle.

"Into the vortex you go, asshole." Academy Five shouted from afar

Commission Five didn't respond and instead looked at you. Giving a nod of your head you extended a hand out towards him. With the briefcase in one hand, he took yours in his other as you walked him towards the vortex. Commission Five took a step in front of you as he stared into his literal future. He would be reunited with his siblings. He had the information on what causes the apocalypse and could easily stop it. And...he was going to see you again. But a you that hadn't seen him since he left. One that he didn't know if they would love them. Commission Five's heart started to race as he panicked about the different possibilities of what could happen when he arrived in 2019. Turning around to face you, you noticed a worried expression on his face.

"I can't do it. What if something's changed." He stated

"What do you mean?" You asked confused

"What if something's changed and this (Y/N) doesn't love me?" Commission Five asked concerned

"Impossible." You replied

"Is it? Maybe Tiger Beat over there just got lucky." Commission Five suggested, anxiety lacing his voice

"In all honestly, with everything he did he should've failed. Any other person would have failed, but I love him so much that it didn't matter." You explain "And the same will go for you."

"But what do I do?"

"Be honest, be her best friend, and love her as you always have." You respond softly "And when the time is right, you feel the pieces fall into place."

Five looked towards you and gave you a smile which you returned. Your words comforted him and maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Looking around at the group Commission Five commented,

"All right...I guess this is it."

"This is it. Go." Academy Five demanded

You looked at Commission Five and rolled your eyes, eliciting a small laugh from him. Turning your head to face your boyfriend, you replied,

"Be nice. You were in his place two weeks ago. Can't you at least give him some advice?"

"She'll show up when you feel like the conversation with your siblings is over." Academy Five said with an annoyed sigh

As he finished his statement, a fire extinguisher flew out from the portal, passing you and Commission Five, and instead hit Luther in the head knocking him to the ground. The rest of you stared on in shock at what had just happened. As Academy Five, focused more on his brother though, the portal started to shrink. Looking up from the ground Luther could see what was happening with the portal and shouted,

"Five! It's shrinking!"

"You need to go, NOW." Academy Five yelled

Seeing the situation going on Commission Five wrapped you in a tight hug as he attempted a goodbye. The goodbye that he never got the last time he left you.

"Thank you, (Y/N)." he whispered "You're my best friend and I don't know how I could go on without you."

The two of you pulled back from the hug. Giving him one more smile, you gestured to the vortex as you replied,

"Don't give these words to me. Give them to her."

Seeing the portal continue to shrink and Commission Five standing still in the 1960s, Luther started to panic. Quickly getting off the ground he rushed over to where the two of you stood and kicked a leg up to push him into the portal before it closed. You watched as he fell back into the portal of blue. His arm started to reach out, trying to hand you the briefcase as he yelled,

"Wait!"

It was too late though. Luther had pushed him through the portal and it closed. All that was left was half of a now-defunct briefcase. You looked towards the only Five left, your Five, and saw the shocked look on his face. With his eyes wide and his jaw dropped you could only imagine that his reaction mirrored that of your own. From behind you, Luther cheered,

"We did it!"

"The briefcase, you idiot." Five mumbled as he walked past him

"What?" Luther questioned before looking at the ground and seeing the wrecked case

Five angrily paced around. What were you all going to do now? That was the hail mary. That was the last-ditch effort. You all were stuck here due to Luther's incompetence. Five shot Luther a nasty glare to which he responded,

"Hey, you know what? A thank-you for preserving your existence would be nice."

"A thank-you." Five scoffed

While the two brothers argued, you were still frozen in place. You hadn't moved from where you were when the portal had closed. Just seconds ago you were going to go home and now...you had nothing. As you stared at the charred briefcase on the ground you whispered to yourself,

"He was just about to leave on his own..."

From the background, the sound of the radio breaks through as the announcer details the arrival of President Kennedy. Realizing he'd be here any minute Five rushes over to the fence where Kennedy would be passing by, calling you and Luther in the process.

"(Y/N)! Luther! Here he comes!" He shouts

Luther and you rush towards the fence and stand on either side of Five. Being too short to see over the top you opted to become invisible and stand on the other side of it. You crossed your arms and leaned against the fence as you looked around at the crowds of people. All of them standing and waiting to catch a glimpse of the president on this historic day. When you first came to the 60s you wondered if you were going to get to see the assassination of JFK, you honestly did not want nor expect to be in this time that long but now here you were. As Luther looked over the fence he could spot Sir Hargreeves in the distance standing on the grassy knoll. Tapping Five to get his attention he pointed out,

"Look, there's Dad. What do we do?"

Five wasn't paying attention to his dad though. From across the street, a figure could be seen sprinting towards the grassy knoll.

"Oh, shit." Five commented

"Diego." You replied

The three of you watched as Diego ran across the street and towards what looked like Sir. Hargreeves. Approaching the figure, Diego tackled him to the ground. He had done it, he stopped his dad and saved Kennedy! And then, the hat of the man fell off, and looking back at him was a man who was not his father. His eyes went wide with shock as the man who now laid tackled to the ground laughed in Diego's face. From behind him, multiple gunshots could be heard as the crowd yelled in fear. Leaning down to the man on the ground he grabbed him buy his jacket and demanded,

"Where is he!"

Pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket he held it out towards Diego, who snatched it from the man's hand. Opening it up all the letter read was

Told you so...

A tear ran down Diego's face as he realized he had failed. As people ran off in all directions trying to escape Dealey Plaza, you all stood in place, disbelief and shock on your faces. You knew that history was going to happen. Hearing about it was one thing but seeing it so close, was another. After the shock wore off you realized that you all needed to get out of here, it didn't look right for people to still be standing around after the president was just shot. Walking back through the fence, you made yourself visible again as you emphasized,

"We need to get Diego and get out of here."

"How are we going to do this?" Luther asked

"You two stay here and figure out a place to go to lay low. I'll get Diego." You responded

Turning invisible once more you went through the fence again and rushed over to Diego. You saw as he stood frozen in place unable to move due to his failure to save the president. Grabbing his hand you said urgently,

"Diego we need to go."

Diego shook his head a little coming out of his trance and looked around for the voice who had called to him. If only he could see you roll your eyes at his stupidity.

"Diego, it's me. We need to go." You repeated as you started to drag him along behind you

Running towards the fence you found the spot where it had stopped and rounded the corner to meet back up with Luther and Five. Becoming visible on more you asked them,

"What's the plan?"

"We're going to head back to Elliott's. It's the only place we really have at the moment." Five explained

"Let's go then." Diego replied

The four of you took off running down the back streets of Dallas towards Elliott's place, trying your best not to be spotted by anyone. As you made it to the alley you all arrived in when you first came to the 60s, you rushed in through the back door of Elliott's place shutting it quickly behind you. Entering the building you saw Vanya, Klaus and Allison sitting around the living room. A solemn silence loomed in the air as you all stood there, the world falling apart even if the nuclear apocalypse had been avoided. There was something missing though. You watched as Klaus gave the group a far off look before getting up from his spot on he couch. The group watched as he walked without purpose towards the back bedroom. And that's when it hit you. Ben wasn't here. Following Klaus down the hall you quietly called out,

"Klaus, where's Ben?"

Slowly he turned to look at you, a far off look in his eyes. Oh, (Y/N). Sweet, sweet (Y/N). Still caring about this family of fuck-ups even after everything that had happened. It was in Klaus' instinct to lie. Lying caused him a lot less trouble most of the time but with the concerned look on your face, he couldn't lie to you. Even after all these years he still remembered the kindness you gave him as a child. He remembered the birthday gifts you gave him when you were all thirteen and times were simpler. He remembered the times where you would secretly join him in the mausoleum and hold him to protect him from the ghosts. He remembered you, his friend, his family. After all that you had done for him, it would be doing you a disservice to lie.

"Someone had to stop Vanya from blowing up the FBI building..." Klaus responded quietly

Your concerned expression morphed into one of sadness. He was gone and this time he wasn't coming back. Looking back towards Klaus you said,

"But we didn't get to say goodbye..."

"It must be a family curse. None of us ever get a proper goodbye." Klaus responded sadly "People just disappear..."

You looked down towards the floor, not at anything in particular but you knew if you looked Klaus in the eyes that you wouldn't be able to hold yourself together much. The pain of losing a friend again weighted heavy on you. Seeing your saddened reaction Klaus tried his best to make things easier for you. Attempting to put on a cheerier tone he mentioned,

"If it makes you feel any better, he always loved you most. He'd still talk about you even years after his death."

A slight smile briefly came to your face. You were happy that you had left such an impact but...you never got to talk to him about that. Instead of trying to find the words to speak you instead took a step forward and threw your arms around Klaus. Wrapping his arms back around you, the two of you stood in a silent embrace each of you quietly reassuring each other that things would be okay, even when they weren't. Stepping back from the hug, Klaus placed his hands on your shoulders as he said,

"I just need a minute."

You gave him a small nod and turned to walk away. As you made your way back towards the kitchen and living room you noticed that no one was there. Looking over the balcony you saw that the rest of the group was downstairs and headed down. When you got there you stood on the bottom step in between where Five and Diego were, your attention now focused on the TV broadcast the group was watching.

"Authorities are asking for help identifying several persons of interest at Dealey Plaza at the time of the assassination. The FBI believes they may have been acting in concert with the alleged shooter, Lee Harvey Oswald. Vanya Hargreeves, wanted in connection with the deaths of several FBI agents inside the federal building at Dealey Plaza. A Cuban exile known only as Diego..." The TV announcer started

"Cuban?" You and Diego questioned at the same time

"Who recently escaped from the Holbrook Sanitarium. A bare-knuckle boxer with suspected Mafia ties who fights under the alias ''King Kong''. Allison Chestnut, a Negro radical responsible for instigating and organizing the recent riots at Stadtler's lunch counter. And finally, Klaus, the controversial cult leader and known tax evader. The FBI is asking the public to be on the lookout for this unidentified boy, who they believe is being held hostage by the suspected terrorist network." The announcer finished

"Well, it's true. I do feel like I'm being held hostage most days." Five remarked sarcastically

"God, I hate that photo." Diego commented

"They're saying I instigated the riot?" Allison scoffed "That's unbelievable."

"Look, the good news is that we restored the timeline and we stopped doomsday." Luther states

"Yeah, a bunch of real goddamn heroes. We let Kennedy die." Diego retorts

"Yeah, and now we're officially the most wanted people in the world. The FBI is after us, the Dallas police, the Secret Service. It's only a matter of time before they hunt us down here." Allison interjects

"Well, where are we supposed to go?" Vanya questions

"I have this yurt just outside Reykjavik. We could totally lay low there. Folks there are a little weird, but lovely." Klaus suggests as he comes down the stairs

Passing by you he walks to stand near Vanya. It was still weird not seeing Ben standing by him or at least somewhere in the place.

"Hey, numbnuts. Hiding's not gonna make a difference here. The Commission will hunt us down wherever and whenever we go." Five reminds

"He's right. They'll never stop." Diego agrees

Five looked over towards Diego and narrowed his eyes. What was he talking about?

"I'm sorry, since when are you an expert on the Commission?" Five inquired

"Since I got back from there." Diego stated

"What?" Five asked confused

"Yeah, they headhunted me, offered me a job. Full time with benefits, which I had to turn down."

"Uh, as my brother I would hope you'd turn it down." You interjected "They drugged and kidnapped me."

"They headhunted you," Five chuckles "the village idiot?"

"What, am I not allowed to be headhunted? Only the almighty Five needs to be in demand?" Diego retorted

As Diego and Five started to bicker the rest of the group started to become annoyed at the scene unfolding. Rolling their eyes and taking steps away from the two, you all hoped that they would shut up soon. You especially. The Hargreeves were being tracked by every type of law enforcement in this nation on top of being hunted by a group of time assassins led by a psychotic megalomaniac.

"Diego, you're not Commission material, all right? Got an obstinate nature to ya." Five comments

"Who do you think it was that figured out Vanya was the one that causes doomsday and stopped it?" Diego asked rhetorically

"Hey!" Klaus exclaims from the other staircase

You didn't know if he knew Ben stopped Vanya or not, but even if he didn't know that Ben was the one to actually stop the apocalypse it still was incredibly selfish to take the credit for it. Ignoring the looks that the rest of his siblings were giving him Diego got up in Five's face and continued,

"Me. That's who. I figured it all out on the Infinite Switchboard."

"You were on the Infinite Switchboard?" Five asked

"Hell, yeah. I made that machine my bitch."

Five scoffed and looked away from Diego. There's no way he was able to work the infinite switchboard on his own. You were at the commission and the both of you escaped so most likely you had to be together. Turning to look at you Five asked,

"Babe, did he really make the machine his bitch?"

"I don't know, I was off committing war crimes," You answer before doing a double take an asking "Wait what did you call me?"

Before anyone else spoke Vanya interjected and questioned,

"War crimes?"

"Don't ask." Luther replied

"Y'all need to recognize I got shit going on y'all don't even know about." Diego yelled as he looked around the room

"Oh, sorry. You've got things going on?" Allison remarked sarcastically

"This isn't helpful." Luther adds as he paces about the place

You watched as Vanya quietly left the group and went to go upstairs. As she disappeared out of sight you threw your head into your hands. You didn't want to even witness the siblings start to argue with each other. As they noise of their disagreement about what to do next in this situation grew the voice of th TV anchor cut through the yelling,

"In other news, the adoptive daughter of billionaire Reginald Hargreeves has been reported missing. We now go live to the police station where Police Chief Jesse Curry just giving a statement on the case."

You looked up from your hands and looked towards the TV. Watching the press conference you can see the police chief standing at a podium in front of the station but in the background someone familiar stood there.

"Mom..." you said to yourself

Almost in a trance you walked through the group of bickering Hargreeves towards the TV before crouching down in front of it. You stared at your mom on the screen as she stood in the background of the broadcast. Bringing your hand up to the TV you gently placed it on top of the image of her as the chief started to speak.

"The Dallas police department is working tirelessly to find Miss (Y/N). She was last seen at home in her bedroom before being reported missing by her mother this morning. Detectives have multiple theories that they are working on at the moment. There is a concern that she and her friend Charles Anderson may have also been taken by the terrorist organization the FBI is tracking due to their connection to Sir Hargreeves and high society status. If you see or hear anything please call Dallas Police immediately so that we can bring her home."

As the group bickered on behind you, you stood up from in front of the TV. Turning to go upstairs you passed Vanya as she walked back down. Slowly, you made your way to the kitchen and picked up the phone. You might've been cursed with people leaving before you could say goodbye, but you weren't going to subject anyone else to it. Taking a deep breath you tried to calm yourself as you dialed the number into the phone. The was a ringing for a few moments before a man could be heard on the other line asking,

"Dallas Police non-emergency line. How can I help you?"

"I'd like to speak with Grace, miss (Y/N)'s mom please." You said as steady as you could

"One moment." They replied

You waited silently on the other end before hearing the sound of a familiar voice urgently asking,

"Hello?"

There was a moment when she first spoke where you wanted to hang up, and avoid the pain both of you would feel if you continued the call. Maybe you could pick up and try to move on like you always did and she could hopefully move on from you after some time. It wasn't right though, you called for a reason and it would be wrong to go back on it. Trying to find the words, you started,

"Hi mom."

"Oh my god! (Y/N) where are you! Are you alright?" Your mom said panicked

You could hear the pain in her voice. It was the pain of a mother who's child was put in danger too many times recently. The pain of a mother who just wanted to find them and make sure they would be okay. You could feel her pain strike your heart as you tried to continue,

"I'm fine."

"Where are you? Are you with those terrorists?" She questioned distressed

"I am." you replied, your voice starting to waver

"Oh god. What have they done to you? Are you hurt?" Grace fearfully asked

"No..." You stated as your throat started to tighten "they haven't done anything to me"

"Tell me, what do they want? Money?" Grace pleaded  "I know I just left Reginald but I can go back and talk to him. I know that he would pay anything to get you back safely. However much, we'll get it to them."

Tears started to well in your eyes as you tried to get through the conversation. You could hear the heartbreak in her voice and could only imagine the emotional look she probably had on her face. You started to wonder if this goodbye was more for her or more for you. As your chest clenched feeling your own heart start to break you stuttered out,

"I-I-I'm going far away, Mom."

"No, no, no. We'll fine them and stop them. Just tell me where you are," Grace begged

"I can't." you replied before apologizing "Mom...I am so sorry that I brought you into this mess. This is never how I wanted things to go or end."

"Sweetie you're talking like you're not coming back from this." Grace replied confused

"I'm not."

You could hear her sobs on the other side of the line. Closing your eyes tightly, tears started to fall from your eyes and roll down your face. Your breathing became short and choppy as you held back your own cries. Through her tears, Grace yelled,

"No, you will. You will!"

"Mom...I need you to know that I love you so much. You have made my time here so much better than it could've been. I showed up out of the blue and you still took care of me and loved me as your own." You explained to her through a cracked voice "It pains me to lose a parent again but no matter what happens next, you'll always be my mom."

"(Y/N)-" She begged

"I love you Mom." You stated

"I love you too-" She replied

"Goodbye." You stated

You could hear your Mom shout,

"Wait-"

But it was too late. Hanging up the phone you pressed your back against the wall and slowly slumped down to the floor. Pulling your knees close to your chest you used your hand to cover your mouth as you tried to silence your cries. Shutting your eyes, you let the tears stream down as everything you tried to hold back on the phone came came out. There was so much more pain that came with a goodbye. When you never got to say it there was always that hope that one day the person would come back, but that hope was gone once you said it. As you sat on the floor below the phone softly crying, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Opening your eyes you looked at the figure kneeling in front of you,

"Charlie..." you whispered "D-did you hear?"

"I did." He whispered back

"Charlie, I- I can't get her involved with this...With me." You explained through your tears "I don't want her to get hurt."

"I know." He replies calmly

Standing up he extends a hand to help you off the ground which you take. Quietly he guides you over towards the living room. From below you can still hear the bickering of the Hargreeves. You couldn't make out what it was they were yelling about now but it didn't matter. As Charlie sat down in a chair you paced about the place thinking about everything that happened to you. Everything. From the moment you left your home in 2002 as you tried to find out what was wrong with your best friend up until this moment now where you were holed in a dead man's TV store literally counting down the minutes until the FBI broke the door down. Your heart began to race as emotions you had refused to deal with for so long flooded your system. Grief, anger, sadness. You started to feel it all at once. Hot tears rolled from you eyes and you shouted,

"FUCK."

From down below the Hargreeves stopped their bickering. Quieting down they all looked up towards the upstairs. Although they couldn't see anything they could hear the sound of Charlie saying,

"(Y/N), it'll be okay. What do you need?"

What did you need? You needed a lot. You needed to not be in situation where everyone but you and your boyfriend was an assumed terrorist. You needed to get out of this time. You needed a steady place to stay. You were sad and scared and felt like you were right back where you started all those years ago. A wave of anger boiled over as you turned to Charlie and snapped,

"I NEED MY MOM AND DAD CHARLIE."

Finishing you statement, your flash of anger turned back to sorrow as you collapsed to your knees. Your body couldn't hold the weight of your pain any longer and gave out. Loud sobs echoed through the place as you finally let it all out. If only your parents could see you now. Would they be proud? Would they still be happy to call you their own? You looked up towards the ceiling and stated,

"I'm so sorry that I caused this mess we're in."

Maybe if you were lucky the heavens would hear you and deliver the message to your parents wherever they were. The Hargeeves stood in place as they beared witness to the anguish you carried with you for so long. The heavy burden of all your pain was finally coming to light, and none of them enjoyed your sorrow. Wanting to fix the situation, Five and Diego tried to start making their way up the stairs to you but Allison put her hands up to stop them. Looking at her confused Allison replied,

"This is not one for you two to try and fix. Just let Charlie try to help."

Five and Diego both felt helpless. They wanted to be there for you and help you through your emotions. It was ridiculous that Allison was blocking them from doing so. What did she mean this is not one for you to fix? As the two of them tried to push past her, Allison stated,

"Don't make me rumor you into staying down here."

The two boys reluctantly walked back down the stairs to where they stood before but neither was happy about the situation. Back upstairs, Charlie did not quite grasp the intent of your message and instead thought you were talking about the situation you were in now. Trying to comfort he stated,

"(Y/N), this isn't your fault. You have to understand that you are the least culpable person in all of this."

You ignored him as you looked off in the distance. Your sobs started to subside but you were left with a hallow feeling within you. A complete emptiness. In a monotone voice you asked Charlie,

"You know what my parents told me when I was younger?"

"What?" He asked

"They gave me three rules to remember. First, remember you are unconditionally loved. The second, always try your best and do what's right. And the third...stay away from the house across the street." You recalled

"The Academy." Charlie said

"Yes. They wrote it on a piece of paper and hung it on the fridge. I saw that rule every day at every meal. They drilled it into me as if it was the most important piece of information I'd ever know." you elaborated almost breathlessly "And yet I still didn't listen. They were worried if I associated with them I'd get hurt and I guess they were right but it's probably not the hurt they expected."

"So you regret meeting the Hargreeves?"

"No, never. I don't regret meeting any of them. I love them all even if they don't all love me. I just wish...I wish I could've done more for them. Maybe if I was there...to stop their shitty dad...if I had just done more then we wouldn't be here. This wouldn't have happened"

The Hargreeves stood saddened and shocked at your admission. You had never told any of them about the third rule, not even Five. You never told them your parents explicitly stated to stay away from their house. To stay away from them. You came over every time you could to hangout and spend time with them fully knowing you could get in trouble if you were found out. You ignored what your parents told you to do just so you could be with all of them. And now here you were upset that you didn't do more to help them? All you ever did was help them. The short time that they had you in their lives was the best time they could remember.

While the others looked around at each other, Luther looked towards the ground. A feeling of guilt washed over him as he fully realized how awful he had been to you when all you were was a friend to him. Did he really forget all the things that you did for him in his youth? All the fun you had? He was so loyal to his father, so protective of his number one status, that he treated you, the only person to see him as a person so poorly. All that time ago, Diego was right. You were family.

Charlie stood up from his seat and walked over to where you were on the floor. Sitting down next to you, he placed a hand on your back. As he looked into your eyes, he questioned calmly,

"How could you have predicted what would happen?"

"I-I couldn't...I was just a kid...god we were all just kids." you exclaimed as you threw your head into your hands

"Hey, hey it's okay." Charlie tried to comfort

"I just- I should've done more. I should've been there." You try to argue

"If you were there you would've never met your other friends. And wouldn't you regret it if you didn't meet them as well?" Charlie asked

"Yes, but-" you started to reply but were cut off by Charlie

"(Y/N), no matter how painful some of the consequences of your decisions have been it seems like everything in your life has been the right thing for you. This was always out of your hands (Y/N). You don't need to be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned. You just need to be you. I mean what more could you have done to prevent where you are now?" He questioned

"I don't know I could've redistributed the molecules at the theatre. I at least could've tried" You replied at a loss for words

"(Y/N), listen to me." Charlie says taking on a more serious tone "That night nearly killed you. If you recall, you came to the 1960s in a coma. And even if you did know how to redistribute like you do now, Vanya is still immensely more powerful. She's blew up the moon after all. Even if you had tried, that much energy is too much for one person."

Your far off gaze came back into focus and you looked over to Charlie.

"You're right..." You replied "It is too much for one person."

"Now, how about we go back to the rest of the group and figure out where to go from here." Charlie suggested

"Okay."

The two of you stood up again and started making your way to the stairs. As the group below saw you approach and start to come down towards them, they knew that they had to start talking about something, because it would be rude to bring up your feelings now. You had just calmed down and had already been through enough. Facing all of them and having to realize that they listened in wasn't in your best interest. Vanya had wanted to say something for a while but didn't do so while you were still upstairs. Realizing that this was her chance she stated,

"I'm leaving."

"What? To go where?" Allison questioned confused

"Sissy's farm. Something's wrong with Harlan, and I need to help him." Vanya explains

"Vanya, we need to stick together, okay? Now more than ever." Luther replies

"That's why I'm telling you this. Whatever's going on with Harlan, I think I might've caused it." Vanya elaborates

"How?" Klaus questions

"He drowned, and, uh, somehow I was able to bring him back to life. And now it's like we're connected." Vanya states

"Wh... What does that even mean?" Allison asks

"I don't know. I can't explain, but...I know that he needs my help and I need your help, too. I'm scared. And for the first time in my life, I don't wanna do it alone. I want my family by my side." Vanya says before looking at you "All of my family."

The group was silent as you all looked at her, each person debating in their head on what to do. Everyone stayed still for a moment until Diego stepped forward and said,

"Look, I'm sorry. We have other priorities right now."

"Diego's right. For once." Five added "We need to make our stand here and now."

The rest of the group stood there, not saying anything. Your jaw dropped as you were speechless at the lack of action the rest of the Hargreeves were taking. With no one joining her Vanya grabbed car keys from her pocket and said,

"Okay. I guess I'll see you when I see you."

You all watch as Vanya walks out of the building. As the door to the alleyway slams you look around at the Hargreeves all standing quietly staring at the door Vanya had just left through. Turning your attention towards the group you ask,

"What is wrong with you guys?"

Turning their attention from the door to you, you continue,

"That is your sister. Your family. And for the first time she reaches out to this group for help and support and you're just going to send her off to be alone so you can what? Stand here and wait for the FBI to put bullets in all of your heads?"

The group is silent for a moment, but it didn't take long before Klaus stood up and said,

"(Y/N) is right. We should be with Vanya."

Grabbing a jacket, he puts it on and without another word walks out the door to go join her. It takes a few moments but slowly the rest of the group nodded their head and made their preparations to go. You watched as Allison walked out the door with Diego trailing close behind.

"I'm only doing this because you want it." Diego comments before exiting the building

"Sure it is," You remark with a smirk

As you make your way down to the bottom step, you can see your boyfriend start to approach you.

"Can I help you?" You ask, your smirk still evident

Five gives you a smile back as he takes your hand in his. Looking into your eyes, he saw all he could ever want and more and as he held your hand he couldn't help but worry about you and what would happen if the group ran away.

"You realize if we leave that we're always going to have to be on the run?" Five asks gently

"Well then we'll have to make the most of it. Won't we?" You reply

"I guess so," He says with a smirk before giving you a peck on the lips "I'll meet you at the car."

Slowly, Five starts to walk away, holding on to your hand until he's too far to touch it anymore. As Five exits the door Luther lingers around a bit. After everything you had said and all the stuff he realized he knew he owed you an apology. Carefully, approaching you he started to say,

"Hey (Y/N), I-"

"(Y/N), can I talk to you for a second?" Charlie cuts off, not hearing Luther

"Yeah, one second." You tell him before turning back to Luther "What did you want to say Luther?"

Luther scratched the back of his neck as he looked off to the side. This probably wasn't a good time to talk anyway.

"Uh...just that I'll see you at the car." Luther mumbled

"Oh, alright." You replied

As Luther walked off you turned your attention to Charlie.

"What's up?"

"I have something for you." Charlie replied

You looked at him curiously. What could he have had for you? Pulling a duffle bag out from behind his back he handed it to you, a smile wide across his face.

"Charlie what is this?" You questioned

"Open it!" he exclaimed

Placing the back on top of the nearby TV, you unzipped it to see what was inside. Your eyes went wide and a smile appeared on your face as you looked in the bag.

"Charlie this is all my stuff." you stated

"All your stuff you brought to the 1960s, your clothes, plus a few extra things that I thought you might want to take with you." He explained

You looked over the bag filled with all of your things, happy to see them all again and know that they were in your possession, but you were confused as to why Charlie presented them to you.

"Thank you Charlie, but why did you bring this to me?" You questioned

The smile on Charlie's face faltered as he looked at you.

"I had a gut feeling this morning that today would be...it. So I packed up all of the stuff that I knew you would want or need and brought it with me when I left the mansion this morning. I didn't want you to not have any of it in case this happened." He explained

"Well I appreciate it. I'd be very sad if I didn't have this stuff with me." you replied

Your smile from seeing your stuff faltered as well. Charlie was right, this would be it. You had no clue if or when you would ever see him again. You could feel your heart clench once more as you realized you had to say goodbye to another person you loved. Turning away so he couldn't see the pain on your face you started to zip up the bag to take it with you to the car. Beofe you could get the bag closed though Charlie exclaimed,

"Oh, one more thing!"

Turning your attention back to him you watched as he pulled something out from his back pocket. Handing the item to you, you saw that it was an envelope addressed to you. Turning it over you started to open it but were stopped when Charlie requested,

"Don't read it now. Read it once you leave in the car."

Place the letter into the bag, you looked back to Charlie and asked,

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to stay here, find some duct tape and make it look like I was a hostage so when the FBI comes I can say the ''terrorists" took off to Mexico with you and the boy."

You let out a laugh at his plan. Granted, it would probably work to buy you and the rest of the group some time but you still found it a bit silly to duct tape himself. Rolling your eyes you stated,

"Well at least I can always count on you to be my alibi, but what happens after that?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll start a painting business. Maybe I'll fall in love. We'll just have to see I guess." he answers with a shrug "Anyway, let's get you going."

Rushing towards your friend, you enveloped him in a tight hug which he reciprocated. You took in a deep breath as you tried to savor the moment, not knowing when something like it would ever come again. As Charlie held you he felt what felt like a tiny zap on the back of his head. Pulling back to look at you he questioned,

"Did you just shock me?"

"Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't." You replied

Charlie rolled his eyes at you as you closed up your duffle bag of stuff. Placing the bag on your shoulder the two of you walked outside the building and towards the car. Seeing you in the sideview mirror, Five stepped out and opened the door so you could slide into the front seat between him and Vanya. Getting into the car you place your bag on the floor while Five slid in to the right of you. From outside Charlie closes the door before leaning into the open passenger window. Taking a look at you, he then turns to Five with a smile and comments,

"Keep her safe, will ya Five? She's one of a kind."

"I swear on my life I will." Five replies, wrapping and arm around you

Looking back to you he lets out a small sigh before saying,

"Goodbye (Y/N)."

"Goodbye Charlie." You reply

Standing up from the window, Vanya started to pull out of the alley and on to the road. As the car drove off, you watched as the silhouette of Charlie grew smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until he was gone. Pulling the letter he gave you out of your bag, you opened the envelope and started to read it.

(Y/N),

I knew this day would come and I’ve had a draft of this letter prepared for a while but I never knew when I’d have to be writing this. After a while I thought I may be lucky and I’d never have to but this day had to come eventually.

I’m not good at saying goodbye because I’ve never really had anyone to say goodbye to. The last person I cared enough about when saying goodbye was my mom. You’re the second person in my life where it brings me pain to let you go.

Before you I didn’t have anyone. I was alone and by chance you fell into my life. Or I guess more so I fell into yours and I’ll be forever thankful for that day.

You’re the only friend I’ve ever had and closest friend I probably will have. I was lost and alone and you helped me find my way. You brought a light to my life I had never had before and showed me what life could be like. I learned how to live because of you.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do without you here all the time. No one else is going to yeet a sleeping bag at me or confuse me with facts about the future. It’s going to be difficult adjusting to life without you but I hope whatever I do next is something that can make you proud.

I wish you could stay here, but I know this isn’t your time. And I wish I could go with you, but I know it’s not what you’d want for me. Just know though that you’re the best friend I could’ve ever asked for and I hope to see you again someday soon.

Sincerely,

Your friend

Charlie

As you finished reading the letter silent tears fell from your face and you realized that whatever came next, there was no turning back from it now.

______________________

Click here for: The Vortex That Takes Me To You - “Me, Lu, and Five Times Two” Side Story

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[just-antithings]

https://just-antithings.tumblr.com/post/680810896384212992/heard-someone-today-saying-that-a-three-year-age

my fiancé and i have a four year gap, and we've known each other for 8 years (i'm 22). we've been Officially together for 2+ years but we were ldr when we were younger (not saying ldr isn't official it just wasn't for us). my mom Hated it but my grandma who's now 80 was like. "i don't see the big deal, that's what grandpa and i were" (when grandma was 18-19). anyway my grandma would think antis are ridiculous send tweet

My husband is 4 years older than me I've known him since I was 12 so 11 years. We've been together since early 2019 (3 years exactly this month actually) we had a mutual crush when I was 16 but due to extenuating circumstances never confessed, lost touch, and only met eachother again after I had turned 20. Our relationship has been praised to hell and back by both of our parents for how cute we are (not to brag) and our parents are aware this affection started when I was initially a minor and see no problem with that. We would have been 16/20 at the time as well. He in part didn't confess because he was worried about me being a minor and thought that made him a creep, at no point dating or prior has he ever crossed my boundaries and out of all the relationships I've been in he's the only person to show me real respect instead of just surface level. Before I dated him I dated someone 9 years my senior at 19. Age gaps quite literally will never matter as much as antis think they do, it will always be about how the people in the relationship treat eachother. You can be the same age younger older but that will not matter if you treat your partner like shit. Also it's no one's business how big the age gap is except, parents and involved parties and parents only matter until you're and adult.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for potentially having been the reason why the relationship of two of my friends ended?

okay so i know this sounds bad, but i don’t think it’s my fault (at least not entirely).

so this happened 3 years ago almost. at the time, two of my best friends were dating each other. we were all part of a bigger friend group of like 6 people.

I’ll call those two friends who dated sam and jane. (fake names obviously)

The whole friend group was relatively new and only like half a year old when they started dating. i had only known sam for the time that friend group existed, so not very long by then. jane on the other hand, had been one of my best friends since we were both in kindergarten.

jane and i were around 16 then and sam was 15.

i had had a crush on jane for years at this point, but never told her because i always either thought she was straight (so she wouldn’t be into another girl aka she would never be into me) or because she was taken or because i just didn’t want to risk this long friendship ending.

but of info:

sam was (at the time) a cis guy. (sam is now questioning their gender but is leaning towards nonbinary transfem, but that was not yet the case during the time this story happened. so i will be using they/them pronouns for same obviously, but keep in mind that at the time, sam was a cis guy). before sam and jane got together, sam told me they had a crush on me but i rejected them.

jane (at the time) identified as bisexual.

the thing is, all of this happened during covid so sam and jane couldn’t see each other very often, but sometimes when the number of cases in our town went down, the restrictions were lifted. so one day, it was allowed to meet up in smaller groups again. so sam, jane, another friend and i spent the day together in town.

eventually that other friend had to leave because of something unrelated, so i was alone with the other two. sam and jane were in that stage of the relationship were they were very comfortable with each other and kinda already out of the “honeymoon” stage yk?

since i was very close to both of them separately, i didn’t feel like a third wheel there. it was a tiny bit awkward for me, because i did still have that crush on jane, but neither of them knew that.

we were all just kinda talking until the convo turned to like reminiscing about jane and my past since we’ve been friends very long and have been through a lot together. at some point, jane said that she has something to say that i might find weird.

obviously, this made me (and sam) very curious. jane laughed and then said that she used to have a huge crush on me, but was too shy to say that. i was admittedly not unhappy about that, so i told her that i too “used to” have a crush on her. (i lied a bit in the way that i said that was in the past when that crush very much was still there).

then i felt kinda bad, but before i could like backtrack (bc obviously i wasn’t trying to mess with their relationship), sam laughed and said that they wouldn’t mind if i joined their relationship. jane agreed and like kinda officially “invited me in.” (they were not in an open relationship, but apparently both their crushes on me were not so much in the past as i thought lol).

at first i thought that was a joke, but apparently they had kinda talked about that before and while it was spontaneous, it was definitely also a serious offer.

i was however still not into sam, and i didn’t think it was fair if i said yes without actually liking both of them back, so i rejected them awkwardly and went home not long after because i was totally not expecting that and just like totally startled me yk?

shortly after, like a few weeks, jane broke up with sam and said that she realized that she’s a lesbian because of “something that happened recently” and like. she never did say what it was, but one of our mutual friends who i had told about that situation from before, kept insinuating that i was involved in whatever situation jane meant. jane and sam themselves have never said anything like that to me and they are both still friends with each other (and with me, even if jane and i are more distant now).

so it’s very ambiguous if i really had anything to do with the end of their relationship, but that one mutual friend fully thinks that it was at least in part because of me. but like idk. so AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[charcubed]

hey char, mind to share your fave stevebucky headcanons? 👀

Oh I LOVE that you asked me this :’)  Thank you!

I honestly have so many if I really think about it because I love them so much and I think about their dynamic so much that I have so many favorite things... but here is what I think of off the top of my head:

• Steve was color blind before the serum, according to canon. I have a headcanon that Bucky used to try to describe colors to him. I wrote a mini fic about that here.

• Bucky was drafted for the war, but didn’t tell Steve. Steve sort of assumed that Bucky enlisted, and Bucky never wanted to correct him. How could he? Steve wanted to enlist so badly, and Bucky didn’t ever feel like he could admit that he didn’t have the same drive to want to ~fight for the country~ like Steve did. He didn’t want to disappoint him and he was afraid Steve would think he was a coward. So Bucky just... never told him that he was forced into war. It was never his choice to fight for the country. If it was up to him, they would’ve stayed home together and stayed safe and never fought at all.

• They were always physically rough with each other, in the sense that they'd wrestle as boys all the time, and Steve loved that Bucky never treated him as fragile. Buck knew he could take it. Even after the serum, they'd still scuffle a bit like kids, finding a bright spot in a war-torn world. They’d be awake in the trenches on lookout, having soft conversations in the night, and shoving each other after one says something stupid or makes a bad joke.

• Steve is bi, and Bucky is gay. Bucky was consciously aware of his feelings for Steve way, way before Steve was aware of his for Bucky. In the 30s, Bucky has a bit of a reputation for ~dating around,~ but not in a rude ladies’ man kind of way but rather his reputation is “Bucky Barnes is a real charmer. He’ll show you a good time and he’s really sweet, but he never pushes your boundaries.” Some women wishes he’d push their boundaries, but he doesn’t. He’s taken so many women out on dates because he never lets it get super serious, since they’re not who he wants and it’s mostly for appearances’ sake, especially since he and Steve live together. He definitely enjoys hanging out with women, and treating them nice, but most of the time his motivation is to try to set up double dates–half because Steve deserves to find a great girl to date, and half because a double date means Bucky can selfishly do a date activity “with” Steve and not have it mean anything. Meanwhile though, Steve gets jealous as hell and testy about Bucky dating all the time, but he’s oblivious to the fact that it’s because Steve wishes Bucky would be with him instead.

• Their first kiss was when Steve was 16 and Bucky was 17. I’m not necessarily saying that’s when they actually got together, but something significant happened between them at those ages... maybe they kissed because they were drunk, or it was so Steve’s “first kiss” would be someone he knew and it was for “practice.” And then they both never talked about it again, because they’re idiots and were afraid to ~ruin things~ between each other. That’s why Steve says “Rumlow said ‘Bucky’ and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn.” That’s why “seventeen” is one of Bucky’s trigger words as the Winter Soldier. It checks out, because Bucky is a little bit older than Steve.

• Steve doesn’t fully admit the depth of his own feelings for Bucky to himself until he finds out Bucky’s been captured by HYDRA. And then he tears Europe apart to get him back. He’d have done that anyway, obviously, but... the prospect of losing Bucky forever is really what makes him realize how much he can’t handle that concept. Because he’s in love with him.

• After Bucky “dies,” Steve gets more reckless, and that’s part of the reason he put the plane in the ice and didn’t try to survive: he didn’t want to live in a world without Bucky in it. This is supported by canon. And so I headcanon that, after Steve finds out about the Winter Soldier, one day he abruptly realizes that he could’ve died in that plane crash and never known Bucky was alive and brainwashed and suffering. He thought Bucky was dead and he wanted to follow him, and he could’ve left Bucky even more alone in the world without knowing it. When Steve realizes how close he came to leaving Bucky behind like that, he throws up. It horrifies him to think about it.

• They each have a pair of dog tags where one says “Steve Rogers” and one says “Bucky Barnes.” They swapped one tag each, so that they’d have a matching set, because while they couldn’t list each other as “next of kin,” they wanted tangible evidence that would show other people how important they are to each other. So people would know: tell him if something happens to me.

• Their Brooklyn accents come out / get heavier around each other, especially if they’re bitching about things or arguing.

• Bucky is a complete sci-fi and fantasy nerd–which is now confirmed canon, and I love it. In particular, I like to headcanon that he loves to read paperback sci-fi novels, and discount romance novels. He unironically enjoys them, and he leaves them allllll over the place. One of the things they love to do is Bucky will sit around and read while Steve will sit around and draw/paint, and half the time Steve gets distracted sketching Bucky’s facial expression he makes while he’s reading.

• Bucky is also a pop culture gremlin. He will try and often get interested in pretty much anything and everything, without rhyme or reason. In modern day, he and Nat will watch trashy reality TV together–sometimes to make fun of it, sometimes to get invested. Steve thinks they’re insane for that. And sometimes Bucky will like one niche thing but then for very specific reasons he dislikes another similar thing. It makes sense to him, even if Steve doesn’t get it.

• Steve tends to be pickier with the kind of stuff he enjoys. He’s always had Strong Opinions™️ on everything, including and especially art. Put him in a museum and he’ll have a lot of thoughts on all of it. He doesn’t judge things or hate on other people for liking things he doesn’t like at all, but he won’t get hooked on a movie/show quite as easily. The one exception is animation, which he absolutely adores, and he goes on a wild binge of all kinds of animated content for awhile–shows and movies–because the various art styles and uses of the medium to tell crazy stories just fascinates him.

• Easy access to so much music is one of their mutual favorite things about the 21st century. Bucky often gets into individual artists’ entire discographies and becomes a fan, whereas Steve often gets into a handful of specific songs from a wide range of various people. Like... Bucky will often love an entire album, and Steve will often love 2 songs specifically more than others. But even with that, Steve loves collecting vinyl records–both old and new ones.

• Bucky has a fantastic singing voice even though he’s shy about it, and he tends to hum along to music when distracted or working on something else–especially while making something in the kitchen. 

• Bucky likes technology more than Steve; Steve likes physical stuff more than Bucky. Bucky loves to take photos and videos of things all the time, hoarding digital memories in a way that’s precious to him, knowing that they’re “safe” and accessible anywhere. They lost so much of the objects that they loved a century ago, and photos were scarce, but now... there are endless ways to have pictures. When Bucky was recovering in Wakanda and Steve was on the run, Bucky would often text Steve photos–sometimes without captions–to wordlessly share bits of his days with him. He’s got a good eye for photography, except for when he takes the photo equivalent of shitposts to make Steve laugh. Regardless, Steve gets his favorites printed–some of Bucky’s photos, some of his, some of their selfies–so they also always have something tangible to hold onto.

• Bucky calls Steve “sweetheart” sometimes, just to be a little shit–and he means it. It makes Steve turn red every time, without fail, but he secretly doesn’t mind it.

Okay I’ll stop hahaha. Those are the main ones that come to mind for me all the time when I think of them! 

Thank you again for asking :D  This was so fun to write all in one place!

[sullustangin]

Darth Marr and Satele Shan:  Names and Priorities

I’ve reached the point in my Yavin fic that I’m starting to use Marr’s POV on occasion.  One of the things I’ve been chewing on (likely to the annoyance of others) has been the Marr-Satele-Theron dynamic during the Yavin 4 op.  It’s clear that Satele and Marr have put aside differences and have become friends (as much as a Force ghost and a self-exiled Jedi Master can be friends) by Chapter 12 of KotFE. 

I give credit to @swtorpadawan for posting about Satele on Yavin 4 a few months ago and being willing to have continued discourse about the post -- thank you.  In comments and reblogs, there’s been discussion about how to interpret Satele’s references to Theron during the op and her motivations for why she does this. 

This is a spin-off of that post, since I’ll be focusing more on the dynamic between Marr and the Shans instead of Theron and Satele. 

During the Yavin op, Theron is consistently referred to as Theron, not as Agent Shan or as Shan.  The issue of his last name is avoided.   A few people (including me) have the headcanon that ‘Shan’ is a common name in the galaxy, like Smith or Patel or Garcia would be on our world; two people named Shan does not a family connection make, necessarily.  It would explain why Theron doesn’t have a code name (though he jokingly? complains about it on first meeting). 

And yet, Satele avoids using the name in reference to Theron.  So does Marr.  And Theron doesn’t insist on being referred to by his last name, even though his peer, Lana Beniko, is referred to as ‘Beniko’ by Marr. (Satele never addresses Lana using her name.)

Why the dance? 

Honestly, when I try to reverse-engineer dev!logic, in terms of the game design for Yavin 4, I’d guess it was done to help the player differentiate between Grand Master Shan and Agent Shan.  And maybe that’s all it is: calling Theron “Theron” just keeps the player from getting confused, especially if the player isn’t a Jedi and doesn’t know Satele; and/or skipped the Forged Alliances quests and thus doesn’t know Theron.

Within the universe, however, what’s an explanation a player can come up with?

The Spies in Question

Theron’s name was broadcast across the galaxy as a wanted man for killing Colonel Darok.  He was to be apprehended on sight, but Theron was a spy; spy agencies to this day rarely let any images of their active duty agents be circulated, even if they do go rogue or defect to the other side.  Theron’s image in direct connection to his name and job as SIS agent would be on a need-to-know basis.  This has led me to headcanon that Director Trant was well-aware of Theron going off the grid; in fact, he aided and abetted it.

Lana, on the other hand, was a known member of the Sphere of Military Offense.  She commanded troops on Hoth.  She had a known face, and there was an Imperial bounty contract on her head, per Theron at Manaan.  If anything, Lana was in as much danger as Jakarro; someone could try to claim the bounty on her head, since the bounties weren’t lifted til the end of the Yavin op.

And yet, Theron’s name was the unspeakable one. 

Satele and Theron

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I feel that the dynamic between Theron and Satele is not that of son and mother; both of them have gotten past that decision.  Rather, it’s more similar to a child who was given up for adoption looking for some sort of acknowledgement from his birth family -- it’s not love.  It’s not approval.  It’s.... complicated.  Acknowledgement of existence.  Acknowledgement that the decision had impact on Theron well beyond his first year of life.  Acknowledgement that Satele hurt Jace. 

I’ve interpreted Theron’s bristling at the use of the term “my agent” to be more directed at the possessiveness of the word, yet how far apart they still are, despite the biological connections.  Technically, Yavin 4 was the first time they worked on an op together.  This was their first professional collaboration.  They haven’t seen each other socially, they can’t talk about their issues/relationship/whatever.....and they have to save the galaxy together.

Giving up Theron doesn’t mean Satele felt nothing. She privately struggles with what she did and how it turned out -- still does, based on 6.2.   However, she, like Jace and Theron, believe in serving the cause at great personal cost.  Seeing Theron beat to hell after Rishi bothered her -- it would bother anyone with any sense of compassion (which she does have).  Theron got the beatdown he did because he was taken by the Revanites.  Revan attempted to convince Theron to join him on Yavin 4 by invoking the idea that they are flesh and blood -- family.

Pretty sure Revan wasn’t talking about the Malcom side.  Satele knew that.  Was there a sense of protectiveness for Theron because of what happened immediately before Yavin 4?  I think so, yes, but it’s not motherly.

Theron’s experience on Rishi probably made Satele hyperaware that if Theron was of interest to the Revanites, then the Empire would doubly interested in Theron if they knew that he was not only an heir of Revan, but that the Grand Master of the Jedi Order was his biological mother.   Referring to him as “my agent” may be Satele’s way to avoid using any part of his name on Yavin 4.

I’m willing to bet, regardless of any efforts to ignore or conceal Theron’s name, that Marr quickly figured out that the agent who managed to outfox Revan, resist torture, get Marr’s attention, and unravel an intergalactic conspiracy was something special to the Republic.  Odds were that this agent had acted against the Empire.

Marr would be interested.

The History of Darth Marr and Satele Shan

Prior to Yavin 4, Marr and Satele had most recently squabbled over Makeb in the Hutt Cartel expansion through their various operatives.  When Marr saw Satele on the Imp side Battle of Rishi, he bowed.  He respected her and she respected him.  I didn’t get any other impression from their interactions. They saw each other as equals, though on rival sides; that creates tension, since a fight between them would be a draw or mutually assured destruction.  It’s highly likely they fought against each other in the previous Galactic War (which I’ll talk about below). 

Marr was born in 3702 BBY, Satele in 3699 BBY.  They’re about the same age, and they ascended almost equally quickly when the Sith returned in 3681 -- Satele is 18, Marr is 21.  I have spoken about how Satele and Jace (who seems to be somewhere between 16 and 20 in the trailer) were essentially just kids when the conflict started.  So was Marr.

The big difference, in terms of how their characters are constructed, is that we have the end product of Marr.  Period.  We don’t know what his name was before he took on the name ‘Darth Marr.’  We know nothing about his family, his relationships, his struggles.  As Marr said later to the player in KotFE, he wanted to be a symbol to the Empire.  Marr did not let himself be just a man.

Darth Marr is not the singular leader of the Sith.  Marr is the head of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire for decades, and as of the Battle of Corellia and the death of Darth Decimus, he also becomes the head of the Sphere of Military Strategy.  With 2 of Military Spheres in his grasp, Marr was the de facto leader of the armed forces of the Sith Empire.  The Sphere of Military Offense passed from Baras to Arho and then to Arkous after Ilum.  When Arkous is killed by the player’s character, there is no indication as to who was the next head; that Sphere is never spoken of again in-game.  We may assume Marr took hold of that.  Either way, he has become the de facto leader of the Sith Empire.  His voice, his robes and mask -- immediately recognizable to the whole galaxy.

The creators of content for SWTOR took the opposite approach to Satele. We can read about how her mother Tasiele was forced into exile when Satele was still a child.  We meet Satele at 18 in a SWTOR trailer during the first Sith incursion at Korriban.  We see her in comics fighting against the Empire.  We see her at the Battle of Alderaan against Malgus.  In Annihilation,we see bits and pieces of her falling in love with Jace Malcom and hoping she doesn’t get too attached... until a pair of permanent complications occur in 3667 BBY:   Jace was severely maimed in the Battle of Alderaan, and Satele got pregnant.  Jace’s injuries made him a much harder person than the soldier Satele met in 3681 BBY; he scared her with his hatred of the Empire. 

I’ll take a moment here to say that Satele wasn’t dumb or naive when she made the decision about Theron.  Satele was at least 32 years old, possibly 33 by the time Theron was born in 3666 BBY. She wasn’t a teen having a knee-jerk “oh noes, he’s evil” moment.  She had been in a constant state of war for 15 years when she got pregnant.   It’s in that context that Satele was concerned that Jace’s hatred could drag their child to the Dark Side... but also, Satele’s love for her child would make it impossible for her to serve the Republic without a second thought.  She couldn’t fight and die for the Republic if she was always preoccupied with coming home to her baby.

So she let Theron go.  She had other adventures.  She was at the Treaty of Coruscant.  Satele founded Tython.  She became the Grand Master of her order.

We don’t get any of that pathos or glory with Marr.   Marr IS.  Marr is the Empire. He is the best of them.  He has been, is, and will be. 

The odds are pretty good that Marr and Satele met each other in combat, directly or indirectly. The bow on Imp side Rishi is a big thing for me that points to that.  Also, look at their responsibilities during the last war.  Marr was responsible for not only defending Korriban and what would become the Imperial core, but also any gains the Sith made over time against the Republic.  That’s the job of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire; taking planets was somebody else’s rodeo, not Marr’s.  His job was to defend... something the Imperial people living on these planets would love him for.  He was their protector against brutish Republic troops and their systemic corruption. 

Satele was responsible for winning those territories back; we see her on counter-strikes against the Sith.  Satele is cast as the liberator of people imperiled by the spreading Sith Empire, not a conqueror taking new territory.  Marr probably had to defend against Satele at least once in their careers, possibly multiple times.  If she was absent from the front lines for any period of time, Marr would have noticed; he had to anticipate the next move of Republic counterstrikes as part of his job. 

And indeed, Satele was absent for an extended period.  How long Satele was absent from the battlefield due to her pregnancy, we don’t know. Satele did continue her battlefield duties for “months” after she found out.  The only information we have about post-partum Satele is that she stopped visiting Baby Theron at 6 months old, according to Lost Suns.  I don’t think she could just skip off at random while in command, so I think she probably was off the battlefield at least 10 months (last 4 months of her pregnancy, 6 months post-partum), possibly as long as 18 months, since Gnost-Dural reports she was assigned to duty with the Republic Navy at some point in 3665 BBY.  She did give birth on a random planet in a cave, so she didn’t exactly have the best medical care immediately.  Maybe there were complications. Maybe she did show early. We don’t know.

Regardless of the timeline, Marr would have been paying attention.  Marr would have noticed when Satele Shan stopped fighting for the Republic.  Where was she?  What was she doing?  Was this part of a greater plot by the Republic?  What were they planning?  And when Satele did return, he may well have wondered what she had been up to.  But no matter; she had returned.  Marr had to be ready.

There’s no obvious indication in the game as to when Marr figures out Satele and Theron are mother and son.  He makes no comment to indicate that he knew before Rishi.  Based on Marr’s dialogue in game on the Imperial side, he heavily suggests that he knows who Theron is by the time Iven, the former commandant of the Imperial Guard, is taken into custody and it’s time to interrogate him. Satele objects to Marr’s plans to torture Iven.  “And what do you think your agent has done in the Republic’s name?” is Marr’s response. 

The delivery of ‘your agent’ is indicative that Marr knows.

Theron himself stated at the end of the Imp side romance that if he was indeed recruited by the player to join the Empire, people would be suspicious that he’d be working for his mother.  That would have to include Darth Marr. 

Personally, I would guess that the after-action reports from Lana and Theron would have some clues for Marr.  However, once Theron had healed up from the Rishi events, Marr may well have taken one look at Theron standing next to Satele, and then had an epiphany so immense it gave him a headache that Lana felt across the compound.  There’s the answer.  That’s why she disappeared for almost two years, twenty-nine years ago. Theron Shan.

(According to Jace in Annihilation, Theron has some similar features to his mother. He doesn’t specify which ones.)

The Lie of Omission

A lie of omission is permitting an inaccuracy or a falsehood to continue to circulate without correction, even though the person knows the truth. (In contrast, a lie of commission is when you actively make something up or contribute to the lie -- you commit the act lying.)  Marr signals he knows who Theron is by the time Iven is retrieved from the Imperial Guard training facility on Yavin, but he never says the name Theron Shan out loud.   It’s simply “the agent” “your agent” or “Theron.”  But not Agent Shan.

The use of “Theron” in the Pubside story is most eyebrow-raising.  

Marr calls people by their titles. Marr always keeps professional distance.  Underlings are uniformly referred to by their titles.  Lana doesn’t like titles, so Marr doesn’t refer to her as Lord Beniko or Darth whatever;  it’s just Beniko.

Calling someone by their first name is highly irregular.  He does not refer to Satele as such until 6.2 (and that might be the Socratic Problem of Marr in the player’s memory rather than the real Marr).  It’s always Grand Master or Grand Master Shan. In a unique instance in the game, Marr calls Theron by his given name when he finds the Imperial Guard’s buildings in ruins during the Pubside story:  “But given the destruction Theron describes, it’s mostly likely a distress call.”  This is before the Pub operative annoys Marr by going to the Imperial Guard facility by themselves; it’s not said in anger or in irritation.  It’s said under ‘normal’ circumstances (if circumstances on Yavin are normal at all). 

But why?  Why not “Agent Shan”?  That would differentiate him from Grand Master Shan.  Just referring to the pair as Grand Master and Agent would work too; how many Grand Masters and SIS Agents are running around on Yavin 4?  Why is Marr avoiding attention to the man’s last name?

And why doesn’t Marr hop on this and use it to the Empire’s advantage?

Pragmatism and Prioritization

Marr is not a Jedi.  Marr doesn’t do things for the greater good.  He does things for the Sith Empire and for the people of the Sith Empire.  Offing Theron Shan?  Definitely on the agenda.  So is killing Satele, eventually.

But not now.  Not on Yavin 4.

Marr is probably the person closest to knowing what Revan is going to try to do in order to make the Emperor take physical form again so he can kill him.  It’s going to involve a lot of dead people.  That can easily happen; up until this tiny fragile cease fire between Marr and Satele, the Empire and the Republic have been engaged in a hot war. When they first make camp on Yavin, there is a real possibility they’ll frag each other regularly.  This is why players have to do daily quests, in theory -- to build good will between the factions. 

My partner is a military nerd and a Star Wars nerd.  He watched both version of the Battle of Rishi.  His conclusion:  based on the ships we see, Marr had more than twice the number of troops that Satele did (I put the numbers in my Yavin 4 fic).  The Imperial troops, at Marr’s word, probably could wipe out the Republic forces on Yavin 4, pack up, and head back to Dromund Kaas in time for tea.

But they won’t.  Marr wouldn’t permit it.

He knows how dangerous the Emperor is, and if he does let his troops kill the Pubs, they feed him. There also appears to be some sort of weird mystical thing going on with Revan’s bloodline.  Revan knew highly personal information about Theron (and Theron says so when the player opens the temple later on); somehow, Theron was able to use that connection to get Revan to give up Yavin 4 and secure an invite there at the end of the Rishi op.

Marr knows about this.  Marr doesn’t know what Revan would do if Marr did kill Theron or Satele, plus there’s the more predictable possibility that the Republic would respond to the death of Satele Shan thanks to the Jedi feeling it through the Force.  Chancellor Saresh would not let that opportunity pass by, even if it did feed the Emperor; we saw that at Ziost. 

Grand Master Shan is a public figure.  Her name and her power is obvious to everyone in the Yavin camp.  Theron, however, is everything his mother is not.  He is a spy.  His face is not known to the general public.  His work is secret, his exact abilities unknown.

Sure, the last name is common enough....

But Theron and Satele have never worked together before.  They’ve never operated in such close proximity before.  Yavin 4 would be the first time all the pieces could fall into place to someone observant.  Marr is many things, but one of the things he really gets annoyed about in regard to the Sith is their arrogance.  They get such fat heads that they can’t see obvious danger or they overlook aliens and non-Force Sensitives to their own detriment. 

Marr isn’t arrogant.

He doesn’t think he’s the only one who can see a family similarity or sense some connection between them.  Saying someone’s name is a powerful thing; we get upset when someone screws up our name.  It’s how our attention is attracted.  Shared last names of interesting people attract attention.  Attention leads to distraction away from the primary goal of stopping Revan and the Emperor.

That’s something Marr doesn’t want to deal with right now.  Revan and Emperor now.  The Shans later.  He avoids referring to Theron as “Shan” so as to reduce any chance that some young Sith will attempt to make their bones killing Theron, since that would spell doom for the Empire, whether through Revan’s anger or the Republic’s revenge.  It would also help empower the Sith Emperor to retake physical form, which is the last thing Marr wants him to do. 

Exposing the Grand Master as having a secret son would remove an ally from the field for Marr; Marr doesn’t want to destroy his assets before he’s used them to their full ability.  There’s no point in burning Satele Shan on Yavin 4 before Revan is dealt with. 

...And Marr respects her.  It’s a cheap way to win against a rival he knows to be his equal.

Marr wants to end Revan and the Emperor now, in that order, to defend the people of the Empire.  He’ll worry about the Shans later.  Marr will let Theron’s last name be overlooked and unmentioned, if only because it makes his job as Defender of the Empire less complicated for a few months.

**

Thanks again to @swtorpadawan​ and also @inyri​ @shabre-legacy​ @theniveanlegacy​ for discussing the original post about Satele and Theron and making me think about this.  

Headcanon Postface:

This last bit is purely my headcanon ideas about Marr, so you can leave here if you so desire. I’m placing them here rather than making a separate post and having to link back to this one. 

As I’ve described previously, we have the finished product of Darth Marr, with none of the personal insight that was provided for Satele Shan.  Who’s under the mask?  Nobody knows, really.  His first comic book adventure takes place in 3678, when he’s about 24 years old.  There’s nothing about his life beforehand that would let the player wonder how his past life affected his current decisions.  Marr ultimately would do the best he could for the Empire, regardless, but knowing if he ever hesitated, ever had second thought, had a regret -- that would make him mortal. 

And Marr is an icon, not a man, in the grander SWTOR universe, per the writers. That’s the point driven home to the player.  So that leaves it to fan fic to take off the mask or not. 

In “The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4,” Marr comes to this conclusion about the Shans’ relationship after observing two Shan chins.  He then alludes to understanding Satele’s decision to conceal Theron’s existence.

After Marr had gained his seat on the Dark Council (late 3680s, early 3670s), a lot of Sith families wanted him to add to their prestige. The man needed a legacy; he needed heirs.  Marr had already set himself on his path, however; he understood that it was better to be an icon.  If Marr was a normal man, he would be weakened by family connections, love, protectiveness, concern for his personal future.  Instead, Marr’s devotion to the Empire was unmatched and pure.  In the public’s eye, he was the great defender. He was the perfect Sith.

Marr never did have a public wife or a political marriage. His private life -- better secured than Imperial state secrets -- produced a  daughter that did not inherit her talents from her Force-Using parent.  Marr had been relieved that his daughter was not like him.  It meant she would never be pressured to come into public life. It meant she was free of the burden of his legacy. 

Lately, I’ve considered that, regardless of having access to the Force or not, a child of Marr was always in danger of becoming a pawn.  She was something Marr’s enemies could use against him, if they ever found out about her; being Force-Null simply meant that others could not detect her as easily. That may have also have been a concern of Satele in regard to Theron, especially as she rose through the ranks of the Jedi Order.  As soon as Marr could let his daughter fly away from Dromund Kaas, he did.  She was free. 

She died shortly before the Sack of Coruscant.  Marr did not go to her. The Empire had to matter more.  That doesn’t mean he didn’t love her.  He just never could prioritize her over the Empire. 

In my fic universe, Marr understands Satele’s choices.  He can keep his mouth shut.  For now. 

Theron is far more dangerous to the rival faction than Marr’s daughter ever was, however; he is an active player in the war, while she... just got caught in the middle, in the end....

Revan and Emperor now.  Shans later.

**