#mutual distrust
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Maybe I am overthinking this a little, but there's something oddly fascinating about Trystan and the Thornes all wearing facades and essentially being caricatures of themselves in Book 2.
(spoilers for Crimes 2 ahead)
You have Trystan who hasn't quite grappled with the seriousness of this investigation and resorts to sex and charmspeak as a cure-all. You have Lydea, intimidating, stern - you never quite see her falter. You have Vasili - supposedly the smart one, the calculative one, the one everyone looks upto. Bas - loud, openly loathing everything and everyone that breathes in front of him. And this recurrent theme of caricatures follows - the family appears exaggerated, almost as if they are all aware of the newcomer - MC and it is through MC's eyes we see them.
For a while I've trifled with the possibility of MC being an unreliable narrator/spectator. They spend a portion of Book 2 trying to paint Lydea guilty, they come off as different and more into believing the first thing that lands on their plate. They try to trail after Bas - basically people who made them feel cold and uninvited. And these ridiculous accusations spiral from then on, until the final confrontation.
And we don't really get to see everyone's masks fall until the coronation and the events prior to it - Trystan is devastatingly silent, Lydea is mortified, surprised, shaken at the fact the crown was offered to her, Vasili - the cunning, clever one uses guns and knives and garottes and anything that he seems to find to kill. Bas is silenced. MC is in the middle, confused, out-of-their-element, forced to face reality. The family's no longer "exaggerated" or "comicky", they're real people and it has always been about who controls the narrative - who's able to have their mask on for the longest time.
And it's Trystan who does. They win this staring contest. They profess their love for MC, they give up everything, victory sex, everything is perfect. The only moment of vulnerability they show is during the murder trial and the coronation - almost as if it is some kind of a death sentence and they're forced to choose their last words carefully, forced to make important expressions. And almost immediately, the facade comes back on. Trystan's a parody and that is their greatest weapon - to never be taken seriously until nobody expects them to stab them in the back (i.e with pawning the crown off to Lydea, a satisfaction with imprisoning their own brother, never taking a definite stance on the Act of Equity, being as ambiguous and unpredictable as possible.)
And MC - a detective, quite literally a seeker of all truths, will never know.
#crimes of passion#trystan thorne#trysnora#tagging trysnora here because as aforementioned their relationship is built on mutual distrust#crimes of passion book 2#choices cop#playchoices#crimes (m's version)
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ok so im just gonna copy and paste this from my twitter bc i dont have the energy to type it out again
goshhh hi sorry i really dont like to be overly negative but umm. important: please please dont follow me if you follow/support other dalv kissers/selfshippers/etc ... i know this seems gatekeepy (which is why i dont ask this for any other f/o) so im sorry ab that
legitimately have it here if u haven't seen!! i reiterate this now because i just got recommended a post of a dalv double due to one of my mutuals liking the post, and i feel really sick right now
im sorry if this seems unreasonable , you have every right to unmoot/unfollow, but it genuinely hurts me so bad to see that stuff
#will not be naming the mutual bc im not insane and clearly they dont have malicious intent#it'd be stupid to assume that#but i hope they see this and come 2 their own decision#bc that really really fcked with my head#if it seems like im overreacting: yeah thats a fair assumption#but admittedly the ut/y fandom has made me so very paranoid and distrustful#important#ray rambles
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oughgg diabolical thoughts of aenor and lucanis in mine and fray’s veilguard au
#gonna..rb with thoughts cause i have a whole scene i’ve been playing in my head on repeat#their dynamic shifts so much when they have a mutual distrust & misunderstanding of each other. specifically in this setting too teehee
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Maybe it's just my bad RNG but whenever my partner wants to commission art of our OCs I internally grimace. I might as well just be throwing money into a hole because it's been like three different times now that I pay someone and get literally nothing for months and then they disappear. I'm kinda over it.
#speaking#like bruh not to be distrusting but its always toyhouse ppl and theyre always my mutual or someone who follows me#like i thought i could trust you b when you said like four weeks at most and its been two years ofc im giving up hope#plus being not in the us sucks shit because the conversion rate fucks me out of even more money#so im paying like a hundred bucks to get disappointed#one of these days ill just gd chargeback before its too late and stop beleiving them
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day 24, 🧹🏹
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writing elias is fun for, i expect, the same reason a lot of people find the dark urge fun: I know more or less what's going on with her and she's got no fucking clue. she's a very information-driven person, and as soon as she realises that there is some largely indefinable difference between her and the rest of them she immediately starts trying to catalogue it and narrow it down. it's interesting to write someone who is so deliberately aware of themself and observing themself all the time
#TO BE CLEAR: the 'indefinable difference' that she clocks has fuck-all to do with the biting ripping maiming killing thing#in the beginning of act ii and I still don't think she's realised that that's not normal#she hangs out with folks who do violence all day every day. she doesn't register a difference between murder and combat#it's all killing when it comes down to it. method and reasoning don't seem super relevant to the social acceptibility#which is why she's so blindsided by everyone's intense reactions to alfira's death#like what do you MEAN you think this is disgusting. i watched you behead a guy YESTERDAY#i actually think that the first things she registers are v different and less visible. more relevant to the#divinely crafted flesh sculpture side of things. the behaviours of a girl who was made not born#mizora's visit and wyll's transformation is i think when it really clicks that Something Is Amiss#no. 1 red flag is when she sees wyll being magically compelled to move in that one scene and she goes Oh his legs are walking without him!#he's walking like how i walk :)#... this is the first time that ive ever seen anyone walk how i walk. hm.#+ she watches his transformation and is filled with captivated vaguely envious ecstasy and also deep nauseating fear#first time in her memory that she ever felt scared#she sets those things aside because they don't feel immediately relevant and she doesn't know what they mean.#but they make her aware of a gulf that she can never disregard going forward. and it makes it much easier to compartmentalise#her relationships going forward. and subtly distance herself from everyone but astarion (mutually blackmailing bestie) when (in her eyes)#everyone turns on her with immense distrust for no reason#(so we're back to killing ten hundred sapient creatures a day while we wander around.#but i ask for help understanding the cause of one homicidal somnambulism episode and suddenly I'M the bad guy. sure ok)#bit of a ramble for 1am but#Whatever. NOW i'll go to bed#elias tag#bg3#durge
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I want to ask my friends very deep and substantial questions because all of my friendships feel so superficial (on my end specifically) right now and I want them to be deeper.
#air's antics#I'll make a list LMAO#I want to know people#I want that kind of platonic intimacy#because bonding over fandoms that die is one thing#but knowing someone and maintaining that bond past mutual interests is another#I had mentioned to my therapist at one point that I didn't want my parents to know me#And I think that has extended to my friendships now#Like do my friends know ME or do they know a shell?#Like do you actually know my favorite color or is it my favorite color because people expect it to be?#You know?#Shit like that LOL#don't even get me started on how distrusting I have become#I don't even trust my therapist#LIke bro?????????????????????????????????????????????????#can you CHILL Air can you open up to someone eventually??#😂😂#I'm so sorry if any of you have tried to or want to get closer to me#I am currently making that impossible :' )#But please know that I AM trying.#I'm pretty resilient though like it's a miracle I still laugh#Despite the numerous times I am told that my laugh is too loud and hurts my mom's ears lmao#I think she just hates my laugh tbh#And I kinda do too but well it's the way I laugh //shrugs
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just realized something important about myself:
i've never enjoyed a mutually supportive, slow-burn friends to lovers ship in my life.
#the closest i guess it would be is remus/sirius?#but like#the way we were doing it back in the early 00s was all mutual distrust and heartbreak#i guess rpf ships might count#but also the dynamics of real people are different enough that it doesn't really apply
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#Yeah! I'd like to get to know my mutuals better. I think I'm a little scared tho. my social battery is tiny and runs out fast#I just don't want to be treated with assumptions/presumptions/distrust that's all I ask for. Without that it'll be fine#stuff
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Bye i love how most anarcia fics I’ve read, Marcia has internalised homophobia
It’s the blonde preppy girl curse, I can’t look at a blonde without thinking they’re probably at least a little homophobic 🤭
#marcia has that vibe#and it’s the blonde hair and Blair Waldorf ass clothing style#but like if Blair was less stylish#an amateur cher horowitz#I love her I promise#ask#asks#anon#marcia#marcia marcia marcia#marcia x3#also don’t come for me for being a blonde hater it’s my Jewish right to not trust anyone who fits aryan standards#my dad and I bond over our mutual distrust of blondes
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I have anonymous asks turned on so people can send still asks about fandom bullshit if they have anxiety, not so weirdos can send me anonymous asks about fucking genocide. If you choose to somehow have me as your sounding board for opinions about ongoing genocides beyond "don't fucking kill people" despite the fact that I'm not an expert, have no qualifications, and am not a member of these groups, you put your face on that shit like a man. Especially if you're trying to convince me that a genocide doesn't exist, I have to attach my url to it if I respond directly to your bullshit ask, the least you could do is put your url on it too. I also find it distasteful to send me an ask telling me that one does exist on anon. People are fucking dying Brenda, anxiety takes a fucking break when people are dying. Say it with your whole chest don't hide behind the anon button like a fucking coward. Attach your url to it.
#I automatically distrust people claiming that a genocide I haven't heard of doesn't exist on principle#but I also have certain rules of engagement when talking about genocide that include not going on anon#also pretty sure both bullshit asks were either from the same person#or from two people engaged in some weird tumblrified discourse that uses a real world issue as a proxy to like#argue with your ex mutual because they posted something you didn't like#or some other such bullshit
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omg i really want to go to this k flay concert in march that's like an hour away but i can't drive and I'm not close enough with any of my friends to feel comfy enough to go to a concert with... i prefer going to concerts alone but if i were still with simon we could go together cause we both like her...
#any mutuals wanna come with lol#also ''comfy enough'' as in i get self conscious dancing at concerts. i don't like distrust any of my friends
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damn so that ballroom dancing fic was actually quite good and I will be adding it to the rec list
#to the mutuals who recced it to me. I see you.#and thank you! it did take me literal years to overcome my distrust of the concept but I DID get there#and it was worth it#ficblogging
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astarion shooting his shot with ranger cyrus at the party........
#like obviously the decision has nothing to do with actually liking cyrus bc the whole point is that it's a ploy for protection#but his approval is still SO middling... other versions of cyrus are trying really really hard to be his friend (with benefits)#ranger cyrus was initially extremely distrustful of him and even now has the attitude of like#okay step 1 let's try just being colleagues who mutually respect each other bc you haven't had a healthy normal interpersonal interaction#in 200 years#(altho in fairness cyrus may have muddied the waters first by indulging him in the mirror scene#but cyrus approached that more as a 'self-recognition in the other' thing than strict flirting)#cyrus bg3
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You ever come across a mutual’s original post talking about something good in their life and you end up spiraling into a horrific mental state because of it? Not because a friend is happy, but the why - the who - referenced in the post, unbeknownst to said friend, hits a years-old wound, a years-old bitterness?
#fun shit to have happen RIGHT before i need to go to bed: daydreaming about screaming at a mutual acquaintance#who played a large part in giving me 'distrust in my own perception of interactions' when that wasn't shit i had before that acquaintance?#yeah. real fun.#the monkey speaks#delete later
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Wayne and Eddie side eyeing the cops of Hawkins Eddie always mumbling insults under his breath, knowing they are corrupt , knowing hopper ( season 1 hopper really didn’t ) didn’t take his job seriously at all, if he did he would have saw how obvious it was that Al Munson was being framed , the man was just getting lost in another Stupid get rich quick scheme .
And ended up in wrong place wrong time . Eddie had already moved in with Wayne when it happened . Had enough of his dad not being there but trying to be , And Hopper and Callahan just went through the motions and let the feds take Al Munson’s case and now Eddie is down a dad .
Eddie who loves the party but has a hard time with El cause she loves hopper her dad but Eddie always sees him as the man who helped take his father away and who did nothing to stop the town going against the Munson’s since day 1.
#srsly the Way Wayne addresses the cops how he acts towards them how Max’s mom didn’t even freak out when cops came rushing to the Munson#trailer only saying “guess the munson boy is up to no good again”’#like it was normal… suggest the Munson’s have a history with the cops and it’s a mutual distrust dislike#eddie munson#Wayne munson
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