#muse: Raye Penber

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

"You've been following me since I arrived, haven't you?"

--Ed (@not-that-dillinger)

Raye stopped in his tracks, trying - and failing - to hide his shocked expression. He quickly shifted his gaze downward, avoiding eye contact as he searched for an excuse.

He supposed, now that Ed caught him, that his hiding spot wasn't that great. His attempt to find somewhere inconspicuous only made him stick out like a sore thumb. The fact that he was hiding at all made it harder for him to find a good reason to be following Ed without destroying the whole point of doing so.

He stepped out of the shadows, finally glancing back up at Ed. He tried to keep a straight face, adjusting his coat.

"Yes, I have," He confessed, though immediately regretted it. This was the most idiotic plan he'd ever come up with.

"But I can't say why. All I can say is that it's for good reason."

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

Raye felt a weight shift off of him when he saw Ed relax. Finally, they were getting somewhere.

"Yeah-!" He chirped, realizing he was no longer lying about wanting to learn to knit now. He listened to Ed talk about the difference between knitting and crochet, finally glad to hear him opening up. He saw Ed's admiration of all of the amigurumi crafts for sale, wishing he had enough money to buy them all.

He made a mental note of the bird Ed had reached for, trying not to get excited at the idea of finally doing something good. He nearly pulled his wallet out, until he saw Ed recoil from the bird.

"Hey, it's alright. I want to get you something- a gift. But-... only if you feel comfortable with it." He wanted to put a reassuring hand on Ed's shoulder, but was sure Ed would shrivel up like a raisin if he did.

"I know it's not the ideal situation, but you still deserve something nice after everything."

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[purplink8]

Naomi is one of my favorite characters so I decided to compile my thoughts on her in this post! :D

(Disclaimer: I do not particularly like the fanon version of Naomi & while I do dislike Raye, I still believe without a doubt that he cared for Naomi (enough to go along with Light when he threatened to kill his loved ones, and the first one to pop up in his head was Naomi) and had his (however misguided (by sexism ofc)) best interests at heart for her. That does not absolve him for being, frankly, really really rude + sexist to Naomi and I will forever be annoyed with him for that.

tl;dr I'm neither a fanon!Naomi stan nor a Raye apologist. Anywho-)

Before I talk about Naomi, I want you to take a look at this panel directly above the one in which she first appears.

Before Naomi's first appearance, Ryuk says "I guess women being tough in crisis goes for humans, too." This is said in reference to Yuri being unphased with the bus-hijacking and dragging our fave sexist murderer to Space Land haha.

But I think it's significant that the above quote was said by Ryuk for all women (maybe the real feminism was the Shinigami we found all along!) JUST BEFORE Naomi's first appearance.

Even before Naomi is introduced, the canon has (however jokingly (side-eyeing you Light-o)) established that women are tough in crisis. I do think that's saying something- especially when you'll see (which will be discussed in length in this post) that this statement holds true ESPECIALLY for Naomi.

But we'll come back to this later; let's move on to Naomi actual appearance in canon.

We're introduced to her as Raye's loving fiancé who is also attentive (receptive) towards him as she asks him why he's tired to which he mentions the bus-hijack.

She's quiet in noting down her observations in her head as she asks Raye for more info regarding the bus hijack:

Look at the '...' she has before asking Raye for details. We can read it as hesitation to voice her suspicions before they sound strong enough or as the pause to think it all through OR more likely as we'll see in the panels below, she perhaps hesitates due to the conditions she agreed to with Raye. The pause may also be due to her analytical mind starting to work, she has to mull over the details she's just been given before reaching to a conclusion.

She does speak out on her misgivings as she clearly cares about Raye and thinks (& correctly at that!) that he met Kira.

Only to get shut down by him. Raye is, obviously, sexist and rude here but we have to remember that Raye thinks he's doing the right thing (according to his sexist 'i have to protect her from danger' attitude anyway). He does admit that she was an excellent fbi agent but still, he's not respecting her opinions.

Now this is where my hate for Raye shines through like

"once you pop up some of my babies, that habit won't pop up anymore" ~Raye Penber, probably, i wish i was exaggerating

Raye is unbelievably dismissive of Naomi here. Not only does he not take her concerns seriously, he also follows it up with a 'joke' about directing her intelligence towards being his future wife. Now, I do believe that Naomi wanted to quit her job too but that doesn't make it okay for Raye to y'know treat Naomi like this. And Naomi (being genuinely apologetic) politely chuckles it off.

I think this brings us to an important aspect of her character: she has a sort of passive attitude. She is not that assertive imo instead preferring to be compliant and yielding. She values harmony in her relationships & avoids conflicts by being agreeable (at least with Raye).

Then Kira happens to Raye Penbar and other FBI agents. I find it interesting how these panels are placed next to each other:

These panels are juxtaposed to each other to perhaps show us that while killing the FBI agents may be like a game to Kira & L, there are real stakes involved for those related to Kira's victims- they become pawns in Kira & L's game-: Naomi being the prime example, who is shown grieving Raye's death.

She is intelligent enough to deduce that Raye was murdered by Kira.

Now instead of wallowing in her misery (remember what Ryuk said about women being tough in crisis? yeah this is what's happening here), the former FBI agent picks herself up, gathers her wits + composure, and gets ready to investigate.

We're then shown panels of Naomi travelling alone. I want you to remember that the emotional wound of losing her fiancé is still fresh & forefront in her mind (trying to catch Kira is a very close second). Even if her thoughts are not depicted (her ride to Shinjuku is deathly silent: with neither dialogue nor thoughts- meant to express how she deals with her grief- Naomi takes action and does so quietly), we get an idea of how she feels.

Alone. Torn between feeling lonely/helpless yet determined to catch the murderer who killed the man she loved. Still, she perseveres.

And she gets info from the bus conductor, that there were six passengers other than Raye during the bus-hijack. She figures that since Kira must've been someone out of those six people, Kira may be living somewhere near that bus route. It's a small lead but a lead nonetheless.

Naomi also infers that Kira is able to kill people by causes other than heart attacks too. More importantly, she is of utmost confidence that her finding IS a fact which means she wouldn't be shook off that belief any time soon. Which is really, really bad for Kira as it narrows down the list of Kira suspects considerably well.

I'm gonna focus on Naomi's POV (you'll know why later):

_____________________________________________________________

She enters the NPA building and the receptionists are being much help: saying that there's nobody on the task force here despite her appointment with them, which was made the previous day + asking her to just leave a message when she insists on meeting the task force personally.

This is important to her. Why are they being so difficult? She'd had an incredibly long day, her fiancé is dead and only she seems to have a clue of Kira's powers extend to killing people by causes other than heart attacks. She absolutely needs to tell this clue to the Task Force. If only somebody actually listened to her. (Even Raye, when he was alive, refused to do that).

Then a young guy, who introduces himself as the son of the task force Chief, comes in and talks with the receptionists about a case he had helped solve in the past. Whatever. That information does not help her in the slightest. She came here for one purpose and one purpose only: speak to the Task Force. Why are the receptionists so warm towards him while being so useless to her? And then the boy says something interesting:

He (if she heard correctly) may be able to beat L in solving the Kira case. He's definitely got her attention now. Either he's way too confident or there may be a degree of truth in his statement (well, they did just say how he helped them solve a case when he was a high schooler). Still, it's not like this guy can help her catch Kira when he's not even in the task force, right?

She's just about to mentally dismiss him when:

...he shares valuable information with her- something which the receptionists haven't (even if they had their reasons) and even better, offers to help her (he's the first person to do so ever since Raye died). He chooses to trust her (he had no reason to do that but does so anyway maybe due to the goodness of his heart? (she doesn't know- still he has helped her out a great deal already)).

It feels weird accepting his help but the boy is very polite + willing to help so she does. And offers him her sincerest thanks.

He also seems to think that Kira has greater powers than people think. That surprises her.

To think this young guy has deduced something which she had too...she chooses to confide in him a little (not so much, just a little without details, just as vague as his statement was) that that's why she's here.

The stranger tells his name. Light Yagami. And asks for hers. She's not taking any chances. Raye died because of giving his ID to someone in the bus (who, she's sure, was Kira) and while this kid seems relatively harmless, she's cautious. She has prepared for this. So she gives him an alias. Shoko Maki.

It seems she hadn't heard the end of his deductions. According to him, Kira can also control people's actions before they die- and she finally has someone intelligent enough, trustworthy enough (he trusts her AND has helped her out a lot) who is willing to listen that she cracks, offering him the final piece of the info she has puzzled out: that Kira can kill by causes other than heart attacks.

More information trickles out her (the kid, Light Yagami- she reminds herself- is surprisingly great at putting her at ease)...she tells him about her fiancé meeting Kira before his death. He's silent. When asked about it, he tells her it is due to the shock of hearing that.

Light is a patient listener, asking her details, offering his views on the matter so she doesn't mind telling him everything she has concluded thus far with utter conviction:

He's initially skeptical of course:

Still, he agrees that it's worth investigating into and that's what matters to her.

After thinking about it for a while, he informs her that he's convinced of her theory. Not only does he take her seriously, he also takes notes of the details of the incident.

Light has been as useful as a person in his position could have been and she's really grateful. She wishes to tell the task force herself so she heads back to the NPA.

He's still following her. Maybe he's doing this out of politeness? She tells him that she'll be fine on her own and thanks him for all his help. She turns. The kid approaches her again.

Only to tell her why the members of the task force were said to be absent.

Now she's suspicious. Why does this kid know so much about this investigation which ought to be kept secret from the general public? So she asks him. Only to get hit by this bombshell:

He is, if he's telling the truth, a member of the task force. Well, that explains a lot.

He tells us that all the members of the task force have been hand-picked by L.

Then she doesn't need to go back to the NPA, as she has already spoken to Light who, by his own admission, is a member of the task force which means her insights will be passed on to L.

Now that she knows that L selected Light himself, she allows herself to trust the kid enough (as she completely trusts L) to tell him that she worked with L on a case 2 years ago when she was in the FBI.

Naomi reveals that she'd been reluctant to trust the police and even the task force compared to L who has her complete trust (her plan was to ask them to let her speak to L directly, i.e., she didn't even want the task force to know her insights). Light asks her then why did she tell him something which should've been for L's ears only.

She gives him her reason.

She feels that Light & L are similar somehow (I think it's her gut feeling) and since she trusts L, she also, kind of, trusts this kid as he reminds him of L.

Then, something crazy happens. He asks her if she would like to join the investigation... She is flabbergasted, to say the least. She had come thinking that she'd be lucky if she got to talk to L directly but joining the task force herself?

Still, she has to admit the kid is nothing if not convincing. She feels indecisive. She doesn't know what to do; she's been feeling lost since Raye died. They were in Japan for a short while only. Hell, they were going to get married & get settled permanently in the USA. And now none of it was possible.

Raye was dead. She had to accept that.

What should she do?

But when the kid brings up how she's still a young beautiful woman for this dangerous investigation, she finds her doubts shattering and her resolve hardening. She realizes that she has gotten a new purpose now.

With her fiancé gone, she's got nothing left to lose anymore. Getting Kira (who was responsible for his death) is the only thing that matters to her anymore, as she says in her outburst. She'd do anything, regardless of risks to her life, to make sure that Kira is caught.

She's very determined now to join the investigation and requests Light for the same. He asks her some proof of her identification.

She hesitates, but feels this can't be helped: she reasons to herself, as she apologizes for giving out a fake name earlier. He praises her carefulness. And she gives him her driving license. He asks her some details about the time she was in the FBI. And keeps glancing at his watch strangely often enough to prompt her to ask him why:

He, once again, looks down at his watch as he replies.

He is Kira.

Light Yagami is Kira.

She is horrified, with realization dawning at her eyes that she has already given him her real name, and is filled with dread of what is to come.

And just an instant later, she turns sharply (not unlike clockwork) away from him. She feels as if she's in a trance. He is speaking something to her.

What's the matter?

An answer comes unbidden to her lips, as if that's what she's been supposed to say all along, like she has practiced this chat with him before,

"There's something I have to do."

The words feel foreign to her, and yet she feels that that's what she was destined to say anyway.

Didn't you want to talk to my father?

The words are a blur as she replies mindlessly.

"No. I have nothing to say to him."

_____________________________________________________________

...well, that. was. Dark.

No, really, it's so fucked up how Light taunts Naomi in her final moments that's why I hate him during this scene.

But anyway, I wrote those 1.4k words talking from only Naomi's POV so that we may understand why she allows herself to trust Light.

I think the argument of her trusting Light "that easily" is uh... debatable? If you pay attention to the plot, it's not that hard to believe that Naomi comes eventually to trust Light.

I think people take this panel at its face value...

...which is just Light self-congratulating himself AFTER he got Naomi's real name (only to think 'that was a close call...' in the next panel itself) like? You guys, don't fall into his trap thinking that Naomi trusted him way too easily.

This guy cognitive-restructures his way out of every setback. Just because Light wants to convince himself that it was that easy to overcome this setback of a woman, doesn't mean you have to be fooled into thinking the same as Light too. This is just his hindsight-bias talking.

We know how hard it was for him to figure out a way to get Naomi's real name after she gave him an alias (while being as cool as a cucumber too). Do not forget that before you chide Naomi for being too naive (yes she IS a little naive (y'know the trusting L a 100 percent? after working with him through a computer screen?) but we shouldn't blame her for giving Light her real name). She was being careful all along.

Until Light, with his genius social skills (remember he's exceedingly polite & helpful + just. a. Kid in Naomi's eyes), focused all his intelligence to achieve his goal of getting Naomi reveal her real name and succeeded as he's an excellent manipulator and got luck on his side while Naomi's degree of luck is exceedingly low.

Also remember that Naomi is freshly grief-stricken and this polite kid is the first one to stop and listen to her (+ agree with her respectfully). And then too she gave him an alias. But was forced to give out her real name because the situation called for it.

(I don't put much stock in htr13 stats but I think we can safely conclude that it's correct about Naomi lack of good luck. Also, she dislikes stalkers and Raye stalked Light (yes he was just doing his job but still you have to admit it's a lil funny that she was gonna marry a stalker- ok I'm done now with the htr13 discussion)). Moving on!

After Naomi's death (she was only 28 at that time), L accepts the phone call from her parents reporting her as missing and comes to know that she's Raye Penber's fiancé. L finds her name familiar and has Watari look her up, to find that she arrested the preparator of the LABB case, which reminds him that he worked with her on that case.

When Aizawa & Matsuda suggest that she may have killed herself after hearing news about her fiancé, L disagrees with them saying that the Naomi Misora he knew had great inner strength and was an excellent FBI agent. He thinks that she's try to go after Kira (and he's not wrong).

And that's all the info about her that the manga canon offers us.

In conclusion, I think Naomi is very intelligent yet a little gullible/trusting of people (she chooses to believe in the good of the people methinks), polite, quiet, introverted, a tad passive, and tremendously emotionally tough (seriously tho, she's in grief sure, and that makes her vulnerable to Light's tactics to get her to trust him & all that but it takes guts to go after a killer who can kill just by knowing your name & face just after he killed your future husband).

Canon!Naomi is far more complex than the girlbossified fanon version of her and I love her <3

[mcsesofate]

(cries heavily cuz PEYTON YOU HAVE RAYE PENBER ON THERE! -stares at my naomi muse- I'M HURTING IN A GOOD WAY!)

I’VE ALWAYS LOVED RAYE IN THE SERIES TBH,,, HE’S MY BOI- AND WHEN I SAW U HAD NAOMI I HAD TO ADD HIM!!

I’m hurtING IN A GOOD WAY BC I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SM,,, 

[makishou]

NAME OF YOUR MUSE:  Naomi Misora

ONE OR TWO PICTURES YOU LIKE:

TWO HEADCANONS YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MUSE YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE:

she has bangs because she hates her forehead and thinks it’s too big

she doesn’t like showing skin / she feels way more comfortable wearing long sleeved tops

THREE THINGS THAT YOUR MUSE LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:

reading

practicing capoeira

watching korean dramas

SEVEN OF PEOPLE THAT YOUR MUSE LOVES / LIKES

@ruezaki‘s L, @erumodoki‘s B, @ofwinningorlosing‘s Matsuda, @mirai-chan77, @lesliekatherinecasewell, @agentdwellton, Raye Penber

TWO THINGS YOUR MUSE REGRETS:

everything about her punk phase

TWO PHOBIAS/FEARS YOUR MUSE HAS:

fire and everything related to it

her loved ones dying without she being able of doing anything to prevent it

TAGGED BY: @erumodoki (love u<3) TAGGING: @ofwinningorlosing, @cosmicstardreamer, @cigarettes-and-googles

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

/* You can sit on this one or just delete since we already have two threads going if you don't want to, but. I crave more of the married sillies and this one looks fun... --@not-that-dillinger */

⛓️ (from "send ⛓️ to find my muse bloody, bruised and restrained")

Ever since Ed had gone missing, Raye spent day and night searching for him. He had never gone so many days without sleep, quite sure the moment he let himself rest he'd lose Ed for good. His office was a catastrophe, and the apartment a mess of documents of leads that went nowhere.

When he finally found the answer to where Ed had been taken, he was a danger to everyone on the road. He'd always been a safe driver, but he nearly crashed his car right into the side of the building Ed had been taken into. His breaths heavy and uneven, he pulled out his gun with no plan of remorse. If he saw who did this, he would end them.

Kicking down the door, he prepared to be gunned down - or even assaulted, but whomever did this had run off. Shit. He had to call in backup. Though he knew this, calling for backup was the last thing on his mind. First and foremost was finding Ed.

He could've sworn he heard something in one of the rooms deeper into the building. Struggle. He rushed into it, expecting to have to deal with a hostage situation. Pointing his gun into the room, he prepared to fire. Adrenaline rushed through his veins and-

Oh god.

Ed looked like he'd been through hell.

"No- nonono-" Raye dropped his weapon, immediately checking for a pulse.

"Please- please be breathing- please be-..." he trailed off, unable to stop shaking. He fumbled with the rope tying Ed down, tears blurring his vision. He was always one to keep composure, but his heart was thrumming in his ears and he couldn't stop crying.

After what felt like forever of tugging at the rope, he finally managed to get Ed free. Raye immediately cradled his husband, holding him close - but being careful of any wounds. He tucked his face into Ed's shoulder, so overwhelmed with emotion he couldn't even think.

"It's okay, it's okay-... I'm so sorry- I'm so sorry I let this happen to you-"

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

Oh to add Raye Penber and L from Death Note to my muses

[makishou]

ROLEPLAYING HISTORY™

The rules are simple! Post ten characters you’d like to role play as, have role played as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can and tag the same amount of people). Aside from that, please repost instead of reblogging!

CURRENTLY PLAYING:

NAOMI MISORA (DEATH NOTE) - Of all the characters I’ve played, Naomi is the one I identify with the most and she’s really part of me. She’s that one muse that never leaves, like, I always have muse for her and I don’t think that’ll ever change. PRINCESS ALLURA (VOLTRON) - I’m not as active as I should be, but Allura is still really important to me and I love her a lot V / JIHYUN KIM (MYSTIC MESSENGER) - By far my favourite MysMe character, and I will never stop believing he deserved better. MILA BABICHEVA (YURI!!! ON ICE) - Mila’s super energetic and funny and the fandom is really nice and welcoming, so I really enjoy playing her.

WANT TO/WILL BE PLAYING:

CHRISTOPHER WREN (THE MOUSETRAP) - Chris is a precious ball of gay sunshine and I love him so much!! OH SANGWOO (KILLING STALKING) - I’m nothing like this character at all and he’s the most fucked up person ever, but I find him super interesting and intriguing so I think it would be fun. RAYE PENBER (DEATH NOTE) - Almost the whole fandom hates him but I think I have enough headcanons for him to actually write him? And I’ve never really disliked him. However, I lack the motivation. ARMIN ARLERT (ATTACK ON TITAN) - He’s my precious cinnamon roll that must be protected at all costs.

HAVE PLAYED:

LINDA (DEATH NOTE) - She’s a super minor character (and only appears in one panel in the manga) but I built her with headcanons and I really like her. L LAWLIET (DEATH NOTE) - I love this asshole to heaven and back but he’s really draining and energy-consuming. HALLE LIDNER (DEATH NOTE) - One the most badass female characters, but I completely lost muse. MARK DWELLTON (DEATH NOTE TV DRAMA) - My trash gay son :’’’’) Pls love him and protect him he’s PURE and I love him and I will never stop fighting for him. I really enjoy writing him and he’s one of my favorite muses ever. SAMIRA MORGAN / SILVER (ORIGINAL CHARACTER) - Sil’s amazing and super complicated and I love them so much. MC (MYSTIC MESSENGER) - This mysterious lady that definitely needs a haircut is super interesting to write, but sadly I don’t have the time or mental energy to develop her as well as she deserves.

WOULD/WILL PLAY AGAIN:

I’m definitely bringing back Linda, Mark and Silver as soon as I have the time and people to RP them with.

TAGGED BY: @m-odoki-archived TAGGING: whoever wants to do it !!

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

Raye opened his mouth to propose the idea of ice cream, since he was fairly sure that was safe for Ed. He didn't remember anything about lactose intolerance, but he wouldn't doubt it if he made yet another mistake. He glanced towards Ed, trying to understand what he was thinking. Would speaking make things worse?

"Would you like-..." he stopped himself short, shutting his mouth and reconsidering.

"Sorry- Nevermind." He quickly interjected, trying to fix his mistake. He couldn't stop fidgeting with the ring no matter how much his mind screamed at him to. Now was the time to be silent, not to try to fix things. He was an Agent, he couldn't keep letting his emotions get the best of him like this.

Instead of trying to speak again, he examined their surroundings. He had to stay vigilant, after all. Maybe Ed didn't hear him, or would choose to ignore him. He silently hoped that to be true, he didn't know how many mistakes he could handle making in one morning.

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

Raye caught where Ed's eyes has dropped, steadying his breath so it wouldn't hitch. No, he was just imagining things. He couldn't get his heart caught on every bit of perceived romance, that's how his last relationship ended. Ed was never going to even remotely care about Raye, and he had to accept that.

Yet their marriage, even as an act, was still a big milestone. One that Raye had been waiting for with Naomi, that had been ripped from him. He didn't want to be unhappy. He didn't want Ed to be unhappy, either. But the look on Ed's face during the ceremony...

No, he couldn't think about that now. How disgusting of him to even consider it. Ed's glance down was likely just to break eye contact, nothing more.

"Alright..." was all he could muster, standing uselessly in the bathroom as he watched Ed leave to get the harness.

As soon as Ed was gone, he stared down at his hands. The ring might as well have been a handcuff. But he wasn't the prisoner here, he was the monster. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, deciding to smooth out his hair with a comb.

He had made himself as presentable as possible on their wedding day. He could remember holding Ed's hands, looking everywhere but at the man he was to marry. He wanted to express his guilt for their arrangement, but didn't know where to start. It all happened so fast.

They were supposed to kiss.

Raye had uttered a soft "may I?" But he doubted Ed would've said yes under any other circumstances.

How could he do that to someone? How could he just... take that from Ed? It wasn't that he wanted to, but it made no difference if he did. To Ed, Raye was just another man working under L that didn't care about anyone.

He shut his eyes to try to think of something else, and to keep himself from crying. He had to keep it together. If Ed found him like this, he was sure to blame himself or hide again.

He scooped Soots up again, holding her in his arms as he stepped out of the bathroom. He had no idea what he'd do without her.

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

Raye didn't want to be the one to explain to Ed that for this case specifically, the laws were being bent. He definitely needed a drink once this was done.

"In complete honesty, you likely won't be getting one. Not because of differences, but because of how L is handling this case." He kept glancing back towards Ed, expecting a weapon of some kind.

"If you're innocent, he'll let you go and you can go about your day without trial. I don't understand it myself, I came from America, too." He admitted, hoping to find some solace in the middle ground.

"You've been following me since I arrived, haven't you?"

--Ed (@not-that-dillinger)

Raye stopped in his tracks, trying - and failing - to hide his shocked expression. He quickly shifted his gaze downward, avoiding eye contact as he searched for an excuse.

He supposed, now that Ed caught him, that his hiding spot wasn't that great. His attempt to find somewhere inconspicuous only made him stick out like a sore thumb. The fact that he was hiding at all made it harder for him to find a good reason to be following Ed without destroying the whole point of doing so.

He stepped out of the shadows, finally glancing back up at Ed. He tried to keep a straight face, adjusting his coat.

"Yes, I have," He confessed, though immediately regretted it. This was the most idiotic plan he'd ever come up with.

"But I can't say why. All I can say is that it's for good reason."

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

"Wha- why? Because I enjoy giving people gifts, and-.." Raye trailed off, his enthusiasm shifting to concern when Ed turned away. He clasped his hands together, taking a moment to allow Ed to calm himself before speaking again.

"Listen, Ed... I care about you." He admitted, which felt like a confession of love. He let his hands drop to his sides, wishing he could comfort Ed somehow.

"Even if we don't know eachother that well, I want to-... I want to at least be your friend- but I won't force it on you. I won't get you a gift if you truly don't want me to, but I want to get you something nice because I care."

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

It all happened so fast. One minute he was tailing this man to make sure he wasn't Kira, the next he was married to him. Raye had been engaged before, but that didn't work out. Since then he couldn't fathom the thought of even dating someone new, it felt like a betrayal.

Logically, he knew that none of this was romantic. This was some stupid plan from the task force he wasn't allowed to know the details of. All he was told was to play house with a man he barely knew, that was terrified of him and the situation they were in. Raye knew all too well what it was like moving to Japan and being thrust into new and frankly horrific circumstances - that was him only a few years ago - so he did everything he could to accomodate.

Raye did what he thought was the best thing he could. He researched Ed's conditions so he knew how to react and what Ed would need in certain circumstances. He kept the house tidy, even cooked meals for Ed - despite their situation, he found small joys in the mundane. But he never forced Ed to interact with him, nor was Ed obligated to wear the ring. Like coaxing a cat, he showed signs of trust but did not coerce Ed into reciprocating. His personal rule of thumb was to act as if they were simply roommates.

Never had he thought married life would be like this. His initial plan was to marry Naomi. He wanted to meet her parents and earn their blessings. They'd buy a house and a yard - they even planned to have kids. Back then he could clearly see two children chasing eachother in the yard while he and Naomi sat together and watched. The rings would catch his eye, and he'd look at Naomi and think how did I get so lucky?

Opening his eyes, Raye broke this reverie. He didn't want to seem like he was awake, yet, since he was unsure if that would startle Ed. His gaze was drawn to his own ring, something that made his eyes prickle with tears that he quickly stifled. It wasn't that Ed was a bad man, or that Raye was particularly unhappy, he simply missed Naomi.

Not only that, but Raye was the kind of man to enjoy physical touch. He wasn't going to just cuddle up to Ed because they were married now. He didn't even know a single thing about Ed aside from the fact that he was a suspect. He was sure any attempts to get to know him would go down the drain. So he remained lonely, making sure not to sleep too close to Ed so he didn't cross any boundaries.

That was enough thinking for now, Raye supposed as he slowly sat up. He wasn't sure if Ed was awake yet, but he made sure to be quiet and tuck the blanket back in when he slipped out of bed. He picked up his own ring, fidgeting with it for a moment. He stared down at Ed, only finding himself feeling... pity. It wasn't Ed's fault they were in this situation - poor Ed must have been terrified. He must've missed home, where there was no Kira case and he could go about his day without a stranger in his house.

Raye let out a long sigh - though keeping it quiet as not to wake or upset Ed - and headed towards the closet to pick out an outfit. He wasn't going to change in front of Ed, nor would he imply vice versa. They may have been married, but he would rather be overly cautious of boundaries than be careless. He planned to take this outfit to the bathroom.

His cat, Soots, hopped up onto the bed, demanding attention as he passed by. He shushed her quietly, scooping her up to take her with him so she wouldn't wake Ed.

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

To say Raye was confused was an understatement. He'd given Ed an out so he didn't have to interact if he didn't want to, so why was he seeking out conversation? It was likely best to give Ed another out, just in case.

"It was nothing, really-.." Raye insisted, offering a smile. He waved it off, hoping that would help Ed relaxed. The last thing Ed needed was his captor trying to win his affection.

Raye could feel himself spiraling. He wanted to go home and never leave bed. These attempts at being what he thought was a good partner were exactly why Naomi left him. He should've just given up. He supposed now was a good time to, considering he'd only made things worse with Ed.

He forced himself to continue surveying their surroundings, distracting himself from his constant failure. Ice cream was a stupid idea, anyway.

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

"Because-... Because even though certain people I can't name in public think you're-... not who you say you are, I believe in your innocence." Raye had to tiptoe around the specifics, not wanting to cause a scene by mentioning L or Kira. Despite it being out of his control, Raye felt that Ed's apprehension was his fault.

He was utterly befuddled when asked what they were doing. Was it not obvious that they were shopping in a store? He knit his brows together, taking a moment to process the question. There was an answer Ed was looking for, but Raye didn't know it. Letting out a long, exhausted sigh, Raye cast his gaze to the ground as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't-... I don't know." He finally admitted, barely speaking above a whisper. Knowledge and wisdom were luxuries Raye sorely lacked, even if he believed otherwise. Either way, he didn't feel great about his answer.

Once Ed was done retrieving the poor plush from Colossus, Raye hesitantly held his hand out to take it. He planned on getting it for Ed, since Ed never expressed being uncomfortable with the idea of a gift. Ed certainly displayed discomfort, but it simply seemed to be his natural state at this point.

"Here... at least let me get that for you.. Please."

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.

[first-frost-fallen-snow]

When Raye heard Ed leaving the bedroom, he set Soots down and took a deep breath. He fixed his shirt, trying to at least look presentable before meeting Ed halfway. Perhaps their kiss had stopped haunting Ed, but it would never do so for Raye. It was why he tried not to look at Ed directly, unless he had to.

Instinctively, Raye reached out to take Ed's hand. Catching himself before their hands made contact, quickly bringing it up to run his hand through his own hair instead. This wasn't Naomi. He just hoped Ed didn't notice the gesture.

He was acutely aware of the firearm he was supposed to be carrying with him. He didn't need it, did he? He was technically on duty, so he was required to, but he didn't want to bring a gun to their first date. It was in the other room, with his keys and wallet. He made his way over.

It's not a date, he reminded himself, it's a way for Ed to escape.

He should not have been lingering here for so long. Trying to keep it subtle, Raye put on his shoulder holster, concealing the weapon with a light jacket. It wasn't like he could break Ed's trust when Ed didn't trust him in the first place. Grabbing his keys and wallet, he made his way back to Ed.

"Ready?"

"We're married"

《 from Raye Penber @first-frost-fallen-snow because that would be the funniest route to me also sorry for like disappearing I was focusing on moving out and now my fatigue is killing me 》

Ed awoke for once not slumped over his keyboard, yet also not in the empty apartment he'd moved into when he first moved to Japan. Though he supposed technically, the apartment he was in belonged to him, as did the bed he lay in, though both truly belonged to the man laying next to him. He squinted at the clock on his nightstand, at red LED numbers so blurry, only years of practice allowed him to decipher the time without having to put his glasses on. He still had time before he had to get up, a couple of hours before he had to get to work.

A flash of gold on the nightstand drew his eyes from the clock to the ring next to his glasses. It was the only piece of jewelry he owned, and far more expensive than anything he would ever purchase for himself. There was a similar ring on the other nightstand on the opposite side of the bed that belonged to the other occupant--Raye Penber.

Ed... still didn't know what to make of his new situation, let alone the man he was now legally bound to. He didn't hate him, certainly, though whether he trusted him was yet to be decided. Their marriage hadn't been Ed's idea, nor had it been Raye's. A necessity to facilitate the Kira investigation, it had been called, and Ed had only begrudgingly agreed to it for fear of opposition somehow being used against him as evidence and landing him in prison.

Thought of their marriage left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He'd sworn when he got his job at Encom, and finally escaped his father's control that he would never put himself in any sort relationship where there was a power imbalance and they were not equals. He wouldn't put himself in a situation where he could be abused again. And yet here he was, a foreigner, far from anyone he could call a friendly face, barely understanding the language and culture, and though their partnership was supposed to be one of equals, it didn't feel that way.

Not that he had anyone on the other side of the Pacific he could call for help if he was able, anyway. His therapist, maybe. Though he didn't trust that the call wouldn't be monitored. Or an old rival, if he was desperate.

He felt trapped. He was relying on a man he barely knew to keep him from being falsely accused of mass murder. He was at risk, not just from his partner, but from the people in charge of the investigation as well, People he felt like were treating the investigation as nothing more than a game, where both his and his partner's lives were nothing more than disposable pawns.

How strange it was, that such a tiny band of metal could hold so much meaning. To others, it would have been a symbol of joy as bright as it's polished surface, but to Ed it had just replaced the physical handcuffs that had bound him to his legal partner to with a symbolic one.