#muse timbit

[aibouart]

i just wanna see the fucking menu!!!! I JUST WANNA SEE THE MENU!!!! SHOW ME THE MENU!!! THE CASHIER IS WAITING!!!!!! PLEASE!!! THE MENU!!!!

[donuts4evry1]

Happy Pride Month!

Thought I’d go ahead and draw all of the oc’s I’ve decided the orientations of :3

[gastlyarts]

OCeptember Day #1

Hewo! Mun is doing Oceptember!

Uhm

I’m really bad with these types of challenges but let’s hope I can stay on track!

For the first prompt uhm... My fav Ocs are my lil muses uwu, they are very nice.

[luxsbrumalis]

「   🍓   」  open starter .  isaiah redgrave , timbits hockey coach & single father , thirty three , bisexual . open to muses 27 +

     isaiah sighs softly as he steps over some of bri’s toys that are all over the floor , rubbing a hand over his forehead before leaning down to grab some of them to put them back into the toy box . he pauses when the doorbell goes , he’s contemplating ignoring it for a moment but he gives in. isaiah makes his way over , pulling it open . “ did we have plans ? i didn’t realise … ”

i’ll respond in a new thread so i can add to my thread tracker ! 

[skinnysdippin]

( …   𐐪𐑂   *  open starter . )  isaiah redgrave , timbits hockey coach & single father , thirty three , bisexual . open to muses 27 +

     he laughs softly , shaking his head a little as he glances over at the other . “ okay i know my ass is impressive but unless you’re going to do something with it, then my eyes are up here. ”

i’ll respond in a new thread so i can add to my thread tracker !

[bluedjaywrites]

𝙴𝚒𝚓𝚒𝚛𝚘 𝙺𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛: 𝙸𝚃

"I want to die..." Y/n groaned as she laid down on her bed.

It was that time of month. The time of month that girls despise with every fiber in their being...

She was on her period.

'Stupid thing. Stupid fucking period. Wish I was never fucking born. Oh, god I can feel it. Kill me already. My uterus is fucking dying.'  Y/n thought, clutching her stomach.

"Y/n?" A manly voice called out from outside said girl's dorm room door.

"Who dares interrupt my self pity?!" Y/n growled in response.

Kirishima gently opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him.

"Are you okay? Even though it's Saturday, it's not like you to stay in leg that long. You haven't eaten your breakfast, and you look cranky. Do you need something? Anything?" Kirishima worried as he walked up to his girlfriend.

"Hmmghngh," Y/n growled as she stuffed her face into the pillow due to discomfort.

"Are you okay, Pebble?" Kirishima patted the suffering girl's head. (Is this cringey, I'm sorry-🤡)

"Nooooooo..." She groaned.

"Why? What happened?" Kirishima fretted.

"IT happened," Y/n said ominously.

"Oh..." Kirishima nodded, acting like he understood what IT was. "What do you need to make IT better?"

"Sanitary napkins, cuddles, chocolate, cuddles, a heating pad, cuddles, a blankie, cuddles, stuffies, timbits, cuddles, and cuddles," Y/n carelessly listed, wanting something to complain about since she was annoyed by IT.

Y/n heard her door close and looked up, shocked but also impressed, 'I didn't even think think that Ejiro would take my requests seriously.'

~ At Walmart (Don't make fun of me y'all I get my period stuff at Walmart)~

"Napkins... Napkins... Napkins..." Kirishima mused as he strolled with a shopping cart through the party section.

"Ah! There!" Kirishima picked up 2 packs of napkins and held them up side by side, trying to figure out which one is more manly. After thinking for a while, he put both of them into the cart, as he was indecisive.

"Okay! Now chocolate!" Kirishima pulled his cart up to the chocolate aisle.

"Which chocolate would she like..." Kirishima pondered, looking through the shelves.

"There!" Kirishima spotted his savior.

There it was, sitting unattended on the shelf top. A pack of Cadbury Milk Chocolate.

Kirishima added it to his cart, and strolled along, grabbing items on the way, plushies, hot water bottles, and a 'blankie'.

~ One short trip to Tim Horton's later ~

"Honey, I'm home!" Kirishima joked, entering Y/n's dorm, with shopping bags hanging from his arms.

Y/n mustered enough energy to lift her head up, and her face immediately brightened up as she got up to hug Kirishima.

"Yes! Thank you so mu-" Y/n cut herself off before continuing. "Lemme guess, you brought all the bags in one trip because it was manly?"

"Yep!" Kirishima said, proud of himself.

"Thanks, Ei," Y/n laughed, her mood brightening.

"Cuddles now," Y/n held out her arms like a kid.

~ Later ~

"Hey, Pebble?"

"Yeah, Ei?"

"What's IT ?"

~ Bonus ~

"EIJIRO THESE AREN'T EVEN THE PROPER NAPKINS I NEEDED!"

~

So um you can imagine the rest lmao

Also I wrote this when I was on my period so the pain is real

♪♫.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

→ 𝙴𝚒𝚓𝚒𝚛𝚘 𝙺𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

→ 𝙼𝚢 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚘 𝙰𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚊 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

→ 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚜

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Stars In Your Eyes Chapter 1

For the @jaytimweek  Day 1: Space Pairing: JayTim Rating: Mature Notes: I had hoped to have this done completely but health and my muse wanting to make it longer derailed those plans but I love JayTim in space to much to quit. Warnings: One scene of suicide and talk of victim blaming. Summary: Tim along with his friends take to the stars for a "short" break and mission only to decide to stay. When the Outlaws begin looking for them it becomes a chase among the stars as Jason and Tim take on an interesting and unique way of flirting. You can also read it on AO3

After a fallout between him, Dick, Bruce and the others Tim had set out to prove that he could fly on his own only there were those who wouldn't let him, his true family vowed to be with him every step he took.

Staring out the window there were days that Tim could hardly believe that this was his life now. To see the stars and planets up close. To see nebulas colours twisting and twirling around one another creating sights to behold.

"These are the voyages of Young Justice, seeking out those who would harm the innocent and basically just be jerks. To kick some ass and save the day while looking awesome as we do it."

A long-drawn-out sigh escaped Tim as he heard Bart start to narrate their day again, "I should have never let you watch Star Trek." Tim muttered into his hand.

Conner let out a laugh at Tim's comment, "Dude, you made us sit through and watch Star Trek and Star Wars so we could see how epic they were and get our opinions on which franchise is better." Tim's so-called best friend reminded him.

And okay Conner was right about that once Tim learned that neither Bart nor Conner had seen either Star Wars or Star Trek he had made it his mission to change that and now he was regretting it so much.

Tim had hoped when he found Bruce that things would change, that Dick would take apologize for his actions, would want him back as his little brother. Would stand beside him and speak to the Justice League that he was wrong as were they for turning their backs on a teenager who had lost everyone he loved.

But none of that happened.

Tim knew that Dick had a lot on his plate, stepping up to be Batman as well as raise the demon brat but he thought that Dick had missed him as much as he had missed his big brother but he had hardly spoken to him.

That added salt to the open wounds Tim was still carrying. So when a Raven suggested that Tim take a much-needed break one that would do Kon and Bart good as well, coming back from the dead could mess a person up and it was best that they take some time to heal.

Plus no one was brave enough to say no to Raven, if she wanted you to take a break you would even if that break ended up being in a demon demission.

Bart still had his hidden space ship and Tim had seen how much Jason enjoyed being out here and it had truly helped him to control his pit madness.

It was supposed to be a two-week trip then they ended up helping stop kidnapping and then they saved a planet from being enslaved and then something else came up and now they had been in space for six months and none of them were in a hurry to head home.  

Somehow they had managed to become Space Vigilantes.

And as Tim glanced around looking at Bart, Conner, Cassie, Cass and Helena looking at home on the ship and then done to Dex-Starr that was purring away on his lap Tim realized that it had been years since he felt this at peace.

Jason had always thought that he was going to remain the black sheep of the Wayne family he never thought that his perfect replacement would tell Bruce and Dick to go screw themselves, give up his claim to the Wayne name and take off with his best friends into parts unknown.

Of course, that didn't mean that just because Tim was done with them it didn't mean they were done with Tim of course it had taken three months Tim returning to take Cass and Helena with him before it sunk in their "family" thick heads that Tim was serious he wasn't coming back. So when Oracle failed in hiding them they turned to their last resort.

A loud laugh escaped Jason as he stared at the face of his so-called brother, "You want me to help you find the kid that you tossed aside for the demon child who tried to kill him more than I did? Who from the moment he arrived used Timmy as his verbal, emotional and physical punching bag and to this day still does. You have got to be kidding me Dickface. Tim did the smart thing and the healthy thing to get away from that toxic and I ain't dragging the kid back to it."

Jason couldn't understand Dick when it had been him riding the pit madness and Talia's poisons whispers in his ear trying to kill Tim Dick had been protective and willing to go one on one with Jason but when it was Damian he was basically victim-shaming Tim into not being okay with Damian's treatment of him.

A sigh escaped a tired-looking Dick and Jason would have felt sorry for him if this wasn't of his own making. And if he hadn't seen the damage Damian's treatment and Dick, Bruce and even Alfred's lack of setting boundaries first hand.

Jason had been searching for Tim for a while. He wanted to make amends with the younger man. He had heard about the fallout between Replacement and the rest of the Bats but the last thing he expected was to see Tim standing on top of Wayne Enterprise's arms spread out wide as he took a step off of the ledge and let himself fall.

Jason could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he forced himself to go faster, he couldn't be late he had to catch Tim. Too much blood had been spilt and he wouldn't let another Robin die.

Once he had Tim in his arms did Jason remember how to breathe. Landing on the nearby roof Jason ripped off his helmet, "What the hell was that replacement?"

Haunted blue eyes looked up at him, "Why did you save me, Jason?"

At that moment Jason felt like he was back in his coffin.

The look in Tim's eyes and the lack of emotions still haunted Jason to this day and he might not be able to do much but he can keep Tim safe.

"Look Jason, I get that things haven't been easy for Tim but it is time that he got past his tantrum and returned home." Dick couldn't understand why Tim was acting like this and to make matter worse Raven and Gar were refusing to talk to him about Tim and about allowing Damian onto the team.

Frustrated that they were just going around in circles Jason ran a hand through his hair, "Look Dickie I  know firsthand what training with the league was right and I know the demon brat had it rough but until you set boundaries for him, ones that include not trying to kill his brother, or using him as an emotional and physical punching bag I ain't helping you find Timbit."

Dick fell to his automatic defence, "Damian has changed and Tim is older." He winced at the look not only Jason gave him but also Roy and Kory. "Look I know Damian can be a little much but he has changed so much."

"No one is denying that you haven't worked wonders with the brat but you are still blind to how he treats Tim and that isn't healthy." Jason countered.

"Also have you gotten around to fixing Tim's standing in the hero community or is he still called the insane Robin?" Roy spoke up he had experienced firsthand what it was like to be the black sheep of the hero community, to hear the whispers and judgemental eyes watching your every move waiting for you to screw up and he refused to let Tim go through that as well.

The wince that crossed Dick's face was answer enough.

A soft sigh escaped Kory as she looked at her one-time love, "Dick, there is no denying that you had much to handle when we thought Bruce was lost from wearing the cowl to raising an abused boy that you let Tim slip through the cracks. Tim had lost so many in his life in a short time that losing Robin, his place in the community and his big brother all at once has left deep scars that have yet to heal."

Jason and Roy saw the effect that Kory's words had on Dick as he looked ashamed, "He had me." Dick whispered.

"Did he?" Jason demanded. "Because I remember he had a big brother that told him a neglected and abused teen that he needed to take the kill attempts, the verbal and emotional abuse from Damian because he was older. Because Damian's horrible upbringing somehow made Tim invalid. That he as the victim should just take it because how dare he wants to feel safe in a place he once thought of as home with the people he thought of as family. Only to be tossed aside and ignored as he was repeatedly attacked. Until you can look me in the eye and tell me that you have talked to Damian and the rest of the heroes I won't be helping you find Tim." With that, Jason cut the communication with Dick.

Letting out a sigh Jason relaxed back into his chair.

"So what are we doing?" Roy asked.

They had heard rumours of a bunch of teens, teens that happened to match the description of a certain team of young heroes who had taken off for a mission only once it was completed they sent back a message that they were staying in space helping out others and they weren't that far away.

Opening his eyes Jason's lips curved up into a smile as he purred out, "We have a bird and his flock to hunt."

[kgraces]

Tire Iron

Read it on Ao3 here

Jason crouched next to the Batmobile, working on freeing the final tire, and he was so focused on the car, he didn’t notice he had company until a soft voice spoke from behind him.

“Um, you do know that’s Batman’s car...right?”

Jason whirled, tire iron in hand. Unfortunately, the speaker was just about the same height as Jason’s arm as it came swinging around. The tire iron knocked him in the temple, and he crumpled to the ground. Jason really hadn’t meant to do that. He found himself looking at a kid, just a little slip of a thing, really. He’d been spooked, though, and accidentally knocked the boy unconscious. Jason knelt next to him and poked his cheek a few times, trying to rouse him. The kid groaned and sat up, rubbing his head.

It was just his luck that Batman chose to return to the Batmobile at that exact moment. A looming shadow fell over both boys, and Jason glanced back to assess the potential threat. He only relaxed minutely when he saw who it was, but at least he didn’t think Batman would hurt a couple of kids. He kept a wary eye on the Bat as he turned his attention back to the dazed kid.

“You alright?” He asked. The kid blinked up at him, wide, pale eyes bright, even in the shadows of the alley. He nodded, looking nervous and a bit star-struck. Batman moved to crouch next to Jason, studying the gash at the boy’s temple.

“Back off,” Jason growled. “The kid doesn’t have anything to do with your missing tires.” Batman leveled a flat look at the tire iron still in Jason’s grip, and Jason rolled his eyes. “You do realize we’re in Crime Alley, right? Gimme a break. At least the kid was trying to stop me.” Batman turned his attention to the pale boy sitting on the filthy concrete.

“Can you tell me your name and age?” Batman asked, his voice a low rumble.

“I’m Tim, and I’m ten.”

“Timothy Drake?” Batman asks. He frowned as Tim nodded. “You shouldn’t be so far from home so late at night.”

“And you should tell Nightwing his quadruple flip is more recognizable than he thinks,” Tim countered, crossing his arms. He pouted at Batman, who looked dumbstruck.

“Are you...blackmailing me?” Batman asked after a moment’s pause. Jason snickered, and Tim folded his arms, looking petulant.

“I think you’re my new best friend,” Jason said, still laughing. Tim looked at him with poorly concealed surprise, mixed with an innocent sort of glee. Batman sighed and gave Jason a stern look. Jason grinned at him, crookedly.

“So,” Batman grumbled. “I’ve got a thief and a blackmailer on my hands. And...they’re both children.” He pinched the bridge of his nose over the cowl and shook his head. “Alright, why don’t you tell me your name?” He asked Jason. “Then you’re going to put my tires back onto my car, and afterwards, we’ll get you boys home. I’m sure your parents are very worried.”

Jason figured that last sentence was meant for Tim, but it doesn’t stop him from cracking up, anyways. To his surprise, Tim snorted out a little laugh, too. The two boys made eye contact and burst into more giggles. Tim shook his head and winced with the movement. Jason gave him a pat on the shoulder, feeling guilty, and Tim rolled his eyes, giving Jason’s shoulder a light shove. Jason stuck his tongue out, ready to make a snarky comment, when Batman cleared his throat. Jason blinked once. Twice.

“I’m Jason,” he said. “And I hate to break it to you, but I’m already home.” He gestured to the alley around them. “Cozy, huh?”

“You could come back with me!” Tim immediately piped up. “My house has plenty of rooms—enough to play hide and seek in! Well, it’s a little bit boring with only one player, so it’d be nice to have someone else around for once.”

“What.” Batman frowned, looking between the two boys with a subtle sense of befuddlement.

“Oh,” Tim said, blushing furiously. “My parents are in Argentina for the next three months, and then I think they’re going to spend a month or two in Mexico, after that.”

“Are you telling me that you,” he looked at Jason, “are homeless, and you,” he turned to Tim, “are left alone for months at a time?” Both boys nodded, and Batman sighed again, heavier this time. “Get to work on those tires, okay Jason? And Tim, let me make sure you didn’t hurt your head, alright?” He received another round of nods, and he hoisted Tim onto the hood of the Batmobile as Jason wandered off to fetch the tires he’d stolen.

“He didn’t mean to hit me,” Tim said softly, as Batman checked his head. “It was an accident.” He paused for a moment, fiddling with his fingers. “Are you mad at us?”

“Of course not,” Batman replied immediately. He offered Tim a small smile. “Am I correct in assuming you know who I am?”

“Sorry, Mr. Wayne,” Tim said, a shy tone creeping into his voice. “I figured it out last year, but I promise I haven’t told anyone!”

“I believe you,” Batman said. Tim relaxed a little and started to swing his legs back and forth. He leaned over to watch as Jason ambled over and started to put one of the tires back onto the wheel. Batman reached for his comm, smiling as the two boys started to chatter at each other, like two little birds. “Agent A? Do you think you could make three mugs of hot cocoa? And a snack?”

“Am I correct in assuming you’re about to do something monumentally foolish?” Alfred’s prim voice replied.

“Oh, absolutely.” He turned to the small child sitting on the hood of his car. “How do you feel about taking a ride in the Batmobile?” Tim’s eyes lit up, and his face broke into the biggest, brightest smile he’d ever seen. Tim made a little squeaking sound, so excited he couldn’t speak.

“And Jason, too?” He finally asked, voice wobbly. He looked down at the other boy, who’d glanced up at the sound of his name.

“Yeah,” Jason agreed gruffly. He sent a sharp look toward Batman, before turning his attention back to the final tire he needed to fix. “Gotta make sure you get back home safe, Timbit.” Tim’s expression twisted to one of confusion at the nickname, but then he smiled again, pleased.

“New best friends, right?” He asked. Jason reached up and swatted at Tim’s ankle without looking up. Tim looked over at Batman, still grinning. “You’re pretty weird,” he said.

“Weird,” Batman parroted back. This child was bewildering in every way.

“Jason stole your tires. I know, and you’re letting us ride in the Batmobile and giving us hot chocolate and snacks?” He shrugged his little shoulders. “Weird.”

Jason stood up and grinned, finished with the tires. Tim hopped down, practically buzzing with excitement as Batman opened the door for them to crawl into the backseat.

“This is the coolest moment of my entire life,” Tim said. “I can die happy, now.” Jason raised a brow.

“Nope, not gonna happen.” He ruffled Tim’s messy hair, careful to avoid the cut at his temple. “Hot cocoa first, right? Then hide and seek?”

“Yes!” Tim said brightly.

“I’m thinking it’ll be a little late for hide and seek after you boys eat your snacks,” Batman said. His voice lifted a little, more Bruce than Bat. “But I bet the manor has more hiding spots than your house, Tim. You two can stay the night, if you’d like.” He eyed Jason, knowing the boy wouldn’t be inclined to trust him, but Jason surprised him by deferring to Tim.

“Whatcha think?” He asked, slinging an arm around Tim. “Creepy or cool?”

“Cool!” Tim practically shouted. “So, so cool. Would it really be okay to spend the night? I mean, if it’s too much trouble, we can totally just stay at my house,” he added sheepishly.

“I’d rather not let you two troublemakers stay there all by yourselves,” Batman admitted. “And I’m sure Agent A will agree.”

“Oh, okay then,” Tim said. The Batmobile roared into the Cave, and Tim had to stop himself from leaping out of the car before it parked. “I was wrong earlier. This is the coolest moment of my entire life.”

“Secret lair,” Jason mused, glancing around the Cave with a critical eye. “Cool or creepy?” Tim turned and gaped at him, looking scandalized.

“My new best friend is the worst,” he complained, leaning against Jason’s side dramatically. He turned to Batman, who was watching their antics with a small, genuine smile. “Can we explore?”

“Tomorrow,” Batman replied. “For now, why don’t you two go upstairs? Alfred will be waiting for you in the kitchen. Down the stairs, second door to the right.”

“Okay Mr. Wayne,” Tim said, grabbing Jason’s hand and tugging him toward the stairs. “See you in a little bit!”

“Wait a sec,” Jason said, stunned. “Wayne?”

Tim’s cackle bounced around the Cave, lingering even after the boys had gone upstairs. Batman went through his usual routine, slowly putting away the vigilante to become Bruce again. He made his way up to his study, sparing a moment to email his legal team about two new potential custody cases, and went to join the others in the kitchen. Alfred passed him a mug of hot cocoa, smiling at him knowingly. Tim and Jason were still chattering happily, if a bit sleepily, and the plate of snacks had been reduced to a handful of crumbs. Once the mugs were empty and the laughter had petered out into yawns, Alfred ushered Jason and Tim upstairs to get some sleep. When he returned, the look he gave Bruce was both chastising and brimming with approval.

“So, shall we tell Master Dick he’s soon to have two little brothers, or shall we let him come home to a surprise?”

[badwasabi]

WRITING ADVICE: How not to write thoughts

Disclaimer: The following advice represents the opinions of One Nitpicky Guy. Readers should accept or reject it as they please. 

Jen opened her door and stepped out into the night.

“Hello?” she called. “Anyone out here?”

The trees rustled, blocking the streetlight. She mused that she had told Chris to cut them back, but nooo, he just said he’d get to it. Someday.

She pulled her handgun from her coat pocket, flicked on the flashlight, and panned it around the yard. Nothing. She wondered what had made the noise.

With her left hand, she reached for the porch light, tightened the bulb.

Nope, she thought, still out. But she decided not to stick around and replace it, not at night.

Something rustled in the bushes to her left, and her gun snapped around.

“Come out with your hands up!” she yelled, her heart beating loud in her ears.

A grey cat - the neighbour’s cat, Jen recalled - sauntered out of the bushes, stared at her insolently. As cats do.

She lowered her gun, and went “Jeez, Malky! You scared me half to death!”

She could just barely make out the cat’s features, the eerie greenish glow in his eyes. He looked at her, then right past her. Which meant, she reasoned, as the hairs on the back of her neck went up, that there might be someone right behi-

She was surprised when the killer’s arm wrapped around her throat.

There are certain words that you see a lot in writing, which are almost never used in conversation. If you think there’s a prowler in your backyard, you don’t call 911 and say “Police? I think I see a figure hiding in my primroses!” You don’t look at someone’s “features” when they’re talking to you, you look at their face. I’ve never “regarded” anyone, and how many of us actually know what “flashing eyes” would look like?*

IMO, it’s fine to use words like this in, say, an article or opinion piece, which is deliberately artificial. If you’re writing a story that’s in omniscient third-person (EG Hitchiker’s, Discworld), sure, why not. But using these terms in a close third-person or first-person narrative can be somewhat jarring, even if the reader never consciously notices.

And some of the biggest offenders are the “thought” words.

In reality, people don’t really “muse”. We seldom “consider”. Or “make mental notes”. Not in our own heads. Have you ever been telling a story about something you did, and you went “and then I made a mental note?”

One common mistake is going “X thought of [subject]” without ever explaining, thus;

Dolores licked her lips as she thought of what she’d do to that sandwich.

as opposed to

Dolores licked her lips. First she’d pick up the sandwich, gently, gently. She’d nibble at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

That’s a stronger image, more evocative. If you have to use “X thought of [subject]”, try to use it like a sort of thesis statement.

Dolores licked her lips as she thought of what she’d do to that sandwich. First she’d pick it up, gently, gently. She’d nibble at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

or

Dolores licked her lips as she thought about what she’d do to that sandwich. She thought about how she’d pick it up, gently, gently. About nibbling at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

In general, try to avoid saying “X thought of [subject]” just by itself and letting it sit there. There needs to be some kind of payoff. Even if it doesn’t show up right away. Even something like another character breaking them out of their thoughts.

I see way too many people who just use “X thought of [subject]” to summarize a character’s thoughts, but don’t unpack.

But more importantly for these tips are what I like to call inline thoughts. It’s when you present the characters thoughts, in the text, without italics. While I like to use ‘inline’ thoughts for the POV character, I sometimes used italicized thoughts when I want to give emphasis.

Speaking of interruptions;

Jimmy frowned.

Well, someone with no taste might think “Dangerous” is the better album, but it’s clearly “Bad”.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash from the next room.

Never say that. Just show the interruption, and then what interrupted.

Jimmy frowned.

Well, someone with no taste might think “Dangerous” is the better album, but it’s clearly “Ba-”

There was a loud crash from the next room.

Also, some people use single quotes to indicate thoughts. As far as my highly-compensated** research team can tell, this is grammatically incorrect, and you shouldn’t do it ever.

You know what’s even worse? No, not 'irregardless’, though that counts. Using both italics and single quotes. Which gets especially confusing when it’s in the same paragraph as italicized dialogue.

“Look,” I said, “I’ll get you the money, so you don’t need to be all nice place you have here, shame if something happened to it.” ’Please don’t ask how, please don’t ask how, Please don’t-’

Please don’t write

X, I thought to myself.

Pop quiz; how many stories are there where the protagonist has access to telepathy? Mind-to-mind communication?

Not many.

Exactly. So who else would they be thinking to?

If your writing is focused on a POV character, you generally don’t have to use “X noticed/saw/perceived/reasoned/etc.” Just describe what they saw, just like you described the interruption instead of telling the audience there was an interruption.

Look at this “inline” bit;

Sanjay locked his computer, picked up his smartphone, and headed for the empty break roo-

Oh.

“Hi,” Ingrid said.

“Hey.”

Now, watch what happens when I tell, not show.

Sanjay locked his computer, picked up his smartphone, and headed for what he thought was an empty break room. Needless to say, he was surprised to find Ingrid already there.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey.”

Just kinda sucked the emotion right out of it.

But what if I want to convey a non-verbal thought? Like an impulse?

Well, Timmy, then you lie.

What?

Lie. Fake it.

Carlos had a sudden urge to tickle his cat.

vs 

Carlos looked at his cat. He could tickle her…

or

Carlos looked at his cat. Would she mind being tickled?

As a general rule, you should use thought verbs the way you’d use “said”  verbs. For me, that means 'not at all, if possible’.

“So what’s the problem?” Jones asked.

“The anklet says she has a pretty set routine,” Brown said. “Home, work, grocery store. Sometimes she jogs around the block. But on one day, the day of the explosion, she stops at this donut shop. If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…”

Jones thought that was interesting. “Coincidence?”

Vs

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“

Interesting. "Coincidence?”

or

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“

Interesting. "Coincidence?”

Or

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“ Jones leaned forward. "Coincidence?”

Or

Jones’ eyes narrowed. “Coincidence?”

Or

Jones narrowed his eyes. “Coincidence?”

Remember when I said you should generally use thought verbs like said verbs? That doesn’t often apply when you’re using physical reactions instead of thought tags (which I personally prefer). People put more weight on actions than words, and from the outside we can only know most people’s thoughts by what they do and say. More specifically, try to put the physical reaction before the dialogue.

Sometimes you may want to use “X thought” to make the narration seem disconnected and distant from the POV characters. Let’s say some character has a concussion or just got some shocking news.

Jane blinked. “I’m sorry, what?” “There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.” This is impossible, Jane thought. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

or

Jane blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.”

Jane thought it was impossible. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

This works even in first person.

I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.”

This is impossible, I thought. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

Any questions?

Good Hunting -Jon

PS: Oh, right, forgot;

Jen opened her door and stepped out into the night.

“Hello?” she called. “Anyone out here?”

The trees rustled, blocking the streetlight. She told Chris to cut them back, but nooo, he just said he’d get to it. Someday.

She pulled her handgun from her coat pocket, flicked on the flashlight, and panned it around the yard. Nothing. What had made the noise.

With her left hand, she reached for the porch light, tightened the bulb. Nope, still out. Best not to stick around and replace it, not at night.

Something rustled in the bushes to her left, and her gun snapped around.

“Come out with your hands up!” she yelled, her heart beating loud in her ears.

A grey cat - the neighbour’s cat- sauntered out of the bushes, stared at her insolently. As cats do.

She lowered her gun, and went “Jeez, Malky! You scared me half to death!”

She could just barely see the cat’s face, the eerie greenish glow in his eyes. He looked at her, then right past her. The hairs on the back of her neck went up. Was there someone right behi-

A strong arm wrapped around her throat.

* I do. But that’s another show. ** I throw a cheeseburger down their dungeon steps sometimes

[miniassassinmitzy]

🥝🥝

@hostmortem

I've mostly interacted with their Moxxie muse, but from other threads I've read that they're a part of, their portrayal of other Hazbin/Helluva characters is spot on!

(Also if you're seeing this hostmortem, I didn't mean to send random flashbacks with the timbits XD Twas a result of research for my child Mitzy here ;P)

[lieblxng]

new muse: hi

me, crashing in and violently injecting them with love and trauma: YOU ARE NONBINARY AND USE NEO-PRONOUNS WE GET TIMBITS EVERY FRIDAY YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO MY CHILD WE WILL RIDE AT DAWN

[donuts4evry1]

Stream Thumbnail (Without any text)

[gastlyarts]

Oceptember Day 6:

they’re brother and sister what do you expect them to do, not fight?

[knickknacksnack]

THEORY TASTING CEREALS OF PROBABLE DOOM

At the end of the breakfast food aisle at my local grocery store there lies a small cereal purgatory wherein half a dozen unlikely cereals are displayed with giant red discount tags underneath, begging shoppers to rid the store of these accursed non-sellers. Some of them are super off-brand boxes of museli, which is completely understandable. Others are the cereals of probable doom - products even the most sugar-fortified of children (or morbidly curious adults) will not go near. I am a morbidly curious adult, and I would dearly love to try these cereals for this blog. However, I cannot justify both the fiscal and dietary irresponsibility of buying an entire box of cereal that I will likely never finish. I blame my mom for this. Not only was she incredibly frugal (out of necessity, to be fair), we weren't allowed sugary cereals as kids and were raised solely on Cheerios, Rice Krispies and Puffed Wheat. PUFFED. FREAKIN'. WHEAT. When we got a box of Shreddies, it was considered a treat. As an adult, I give kudos to my mom for steering us away from childhood diabetes, but as a kid, it felt like a half step above breakfast gruel.

So I will have to rely on theory to walk these cereals to their likely flavour conclusions. Note: if anyone out there has actually tried these cereals, please do share the experience!

CEREALS OF PROBABLE DOOM, PRESENTED BY PROBABLE DOOM SCORE, LOWEST TO HIGHEST.

Eggo (maple syrup flavour)

In a world where we have cereals camouflaging as other breakfast foods (Cinnamon Toast Crunch, any cereal that purports to be based on "froot"), I suppose this was an inevitability. Of course, the big question is "Do they actually taste like Eggos?" Not waffles, but that unique, manufactured, waffle-adjacent soupéon space that only Eggos occupy. (Kind of like how watermelon flavour doesn't really taste like watermelon so much as it reminds you of something watermelonesque.) (And I'm not knocking Eggos - although I don't buy them for myself, I wouldn't say no to one if offered.) Sadly, breakfast cereals aren't notorious for faithful recreations of actual flavours, and given their shape, I feel like Eggo cereal is just Honeycombs in disguise. With maple flavour, because maple flavour is actually achievable.

Probable doom score: 38%

  Tim Horton's Birthday Cake Flavoured Timbits

I feel like every member of the international community has been lectured about Tim Horton's by a Canadian, but if you're one of the few who haven't: Timbits are doughnut holes, AKA tiny balls of doughnut.

Look, birthday cake flavoured anything can go to straight to sugary hell. Why you'd want to base any flavour on a white cake with white frosting with sprinkles that also taste like white is beyond me. But birthday cake flavoured Timbit cereal seems extra egregious because it's (probably) a bad cereal copy of a bad doughnut copy of a bad idea for cake. I'm a fan of sugar, but give it some flavour, at least. (And don't tell me vanilla is a flavour. Not in cake, it's not.) What I suspect this cereal tastes like: a cereal that used to be made with care and actually pretty tasty, but over the years it's deteriorated in quality due to corporate-mandated shortcuts and now it just tastes like the tears of minimum-wage workers who serve coffee & bagels to a never-ending line of ill-tempered Calgarians going through drive-thrus in their Dodge Rams on their way to work, all the while wishing the company would stop clawing back their benefits because "free water and soft drinks" doesn't really qualify as a "benefit". That, and a grocery store white sheet cake that is 75% icing, 10% cake and 15% "I wish I didn't have to eat this grocery store white sheet cake, but it's Cathy's birthday and I'll look like an ungrateful ass in front of the department head if I don't have a slice."

Probable doom score: 92%

Hershey's Kisses Cereal

WHY?

I was content to just leave it at that, but then I remembered how, every Valentine's Day, Hershey's Kisses are passed around willy-nilly and consumed by those around me without a second thought. This has always confused me because Hershey's Kisses are objectively terrible. DOES NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTAND THIS? They're grainy, they taste slightly soapy, and they don't taste like chocolate so much as chocolate's dubious bachelor uncle who lives in squalor and only eats food if it comes from a can. So why would I want to dry that out then pour milk all over it?! I mean, look at the box - the cereal itself looks like poop-coloured shark teeth. That's practically a dare . . . . AND I DAREN'T.

Probable doom score: 150%. Certain doom, laced with whatever filler they put into Hershey's Kisses. Potpourri sweepings?

[erudite-rebel]

🥇 - I think you’ve done a brilliant job with your muse. 🎯 - Your portrayal is on point! 💡 - The plot ideas you give out are amazing.💛 - You’re a dear friend to me. 📽 - I can see your muse in your portrayal, your writing is so perfect. 🌟 - I love seeing you on the dash! 🌞 - You are such a bright and lovely person OOC. 🍋 - Life might be giving you lemons at the moment, but just remember you’re my lemonade!

;m; thank you so much Aura. You're such a caring and lovely person too. I hope my schedule let's us get together proper soon. Timbits are in our future!

[oopsbirdficced]

For the Halloween fic prompts: #50 for Shun and Julian, and #10 for the Marinas :D Thank you in advance!

(So I recently reread the Poseidon arc to summarize it for a friend, and remembered that Baian is the only other Marina who could have conceivably survived the arc. So he does, because reasons.)

The mood is peaceful, for once. They're all gathered in the Solo Estate, and on Baian's suggestion, have decided to try their hand at celebrating a holiday common to Canada and America, Halloween. Sorrento and Baian have found some interesting recipes, including one that Baian has declared is for homemade 'timbits', and are trying them out in the kitchen. Shun and Saori, now friends with their fellow godly host after a few years, are with Julian in the sunroom off the kitchen, trying their hand at carving pumpkins. This being Julian, of course, they had been specially imported.

[[MORE]]

The quiet instrumental music is punctuated by a soft yelp. Shun looks up, and sees Julian grab one of the dishtowels lying around them for cleanup purposes. 

Shun sighs, deeply unimpressed, and shuffles over, the newspapers they're kneeling on crinkling under him. Julian pouts back distractedly, holding the dishtowel to his bleeding hand. Blood is now lightly sprinkled over Julian's pumpkin, and Saori stands elegantly and rubs off to get the first aid kit. 

“Did you seriously injure yourself carving a pumpkin?” Shun says gently, prying Julian's hand up briefly to check the severity of the cut. It's not bad enough to call emergency services. "Keep putting pressure on it," Shun encourages. 

"It's not like I've ever done this before," Julian replies, a little sulky. 

"None of us have, so that's no excuse," Shun returns primly. "Do try to be more careful, though." He gives Julian's knee a sympathetic pat. "You'd think this whole godly vessel thing would mean we wouldn't get little injuries like this, right?" Shun muses, grabbing the paper towel roll and wiping up the spilled blood. 

"It would be nice, but it's sadly not true." Julian grumbles, peering under the towel at the cut again. Shun tuts quietly. 

"Keep pressure on it," he reminds again. "Saori should be back in a moment, unless you keep your first aid kit somewhere strange." 

"There's one in the master bathroom," Julian points out, and Shun sighs. She'll be a minute then. 

"Have you considered that you live in such a large place you should be keeping multiple kits? Put one in the kitchen, statistically speaking that's where a majority of household injuries occur." Shun tells him briskly. Julian sighs, but concedes his point. "Tell me what your design is?" Shun asks to take Julian's mind off it, squinting down at his pumpkin. He got himself one of the fancy carving kits with stencils and everything. Overambitious, but cute. 

"A cat. Shaving the pumpkin down so it will be see-through with the light is harder than I thought it would be," Julian admits. Shun smiles crookedly.

"There's a reason I just went with the traditional face," Shun remarks. "Though if you can pull it off, it should be very cute." Julian preens a little. 

Saori's doing something similar- apparently she's not about to be outdone by Julian, even in something as innocent as pumpkin carving. Their rivalry is deeply amusing to Shun, so he doesn't try to defuse it. Besides, it's practically hereditary, or something like that. Better they try to outdo each other carving pumpkins than declare war. Julian whines a little, soft enough that Shun knows its mostly to himself. 

"You really will be fine," he assures again, with a wry smile. Poseidon's host doesn't take injury very well. Something about blood making him queasy. "See? Here's Saori with the first aid kit," he points out as Saori hurries back in and hands him the kit. Shun takes it from her, and soon enough Julian is cleaned up and bandaged, and they return to their decorative efforts.