#murdoc is accidentally too tall in the first one :(

[angryplebianart]

Love all around!! He's living his best life 🥺💚

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Gorillaz Teacher! AU Headcanons

🍎 Original headcanons ✏️

🏫 Ao3 version 🎒

Murdoc:

• Wait, how did he even get this job and why hasn't he been fired yet?

• Teaching is honestly just a shitty day job for him. Once he earns enough, he's quitting to become a famous rock star with his own band! He could see it now: fame, glory, girls. It sounds like a dream come true. But until he had the money to make that dream a reality, he was stuck as the school's social studies teacher.

• When he quits his job as an "educator", it's going to be very similar to the fuck you scene from the movie "Half Baked".

• He is disliked by the students in all of his classes.

• He has a habit of arriving 30 minutes late to class. Sometimes he'll show up completely sober, while other times he'll show up drunk.

• The pickle has WAY too many political views that he refuses to keep to himself.

• If Murdoc falls asleep at his desk, one of the kids might try to either draw a dick on his forehead and take a picture of it, or they might try to put a 'kick me' sign on his back. But they have to be EXTRA careful or they might wake up the grumpy goblin!

• If he does wake up, he'll be extremely mad and end up giving the whole class a pop quiz first thing tomorrow morning.

• He finds grading papers to be too difficult, so he doesn't bother doing it.

• The only time Murdoc actually teaches his class something about social studies is when the principal or some other important staff member walks into the room to see what's going on. Once they're gone, he goes straight back to sleep.

• He believes that Stuart Pot, the new music teacher at school, is an idiot. He decides to give him the nickname '2D' because he feels that the man is too dense. Murdoc has walked by Stuart's classroom a couple of times before and has overheard him and his students singing while he plays the piano. To hear more, he would usually place his ear against the door. He had to admit that the guy had some really nice vocals. Plus, he's tall, pretty, has blue hair, and both eyes! Murdoc makes a mental note to remember to make that Stu-Pot guy the front man of his future band once he gets the money he wants and decides to quit.

• Murdoc only tries to 'befriend" 2D because he's a music teacher and also because he wants him to be his future front man.

• When he learns that the teacher of the class with the highest test scores will receive a large bonus pay, he decides to change his style of "teaching", forcing the students in his class to study intensely for the upcoming test. However, the kids end up getting low scores.

• He has been embezzling money from the 9th grade bake sale.

2D/Stuart Pot:

• He is the new music teacher!

• He quickly becomes well-liked by students and co-workers.

• Stuart is a nice teacher who carries himself off as a goofy professional who knows what he's doing.

• Believes that every one of his students will become a great musician one day.

• At times, he enjoys teaching while music plays in the background.

• He may accidentally give students test answers when they ask for clarification on a question

• He will write original songs for his class to perform.

• Has an after-school club where he teaches students how to play piano, keyboards, and melodica.

• I can imagine him being an actual teacher in real life.

• Stuart is a bit terrified of Murdoc because one time, when the two were on lunch duty together, Murdoc was explaining to him a dream that he had last night where he launched his car through a music shop that Stu-Pot was apparently working at and had knocked one of his eyes out! “ Oh, uh, o-okay… W-Well, it’s a good thing you aren’t actually going to run me over with a real car, right?…RIGHT?!”

Noodle:

• She has a full real name, but prefers to be referred to as Noodle, which was a nickname she received in her childhood.

• The children generally call her Ms. Noodle.

• She's the teaching assistant for Stuart's class!

• She's kind because she helps everyone in the class who needs it, even the spoiled kids.

• She's in charge of the guitar club after-school!

• She really likes the guitar club since it provides a safe and fun environment for students to come together and enjoy music.

• She's a master at playing acoustic guitar and ukulele!

• You'll most likely find her in the teacher's lounge playing on her pink handheld game player while drinking tea and munching on the candy and snacks that they have in there.

• The teacher's lounge is her favorite room to be in for obvious reasons.

Russel:

• He's a no-nonsense math teacher who will joke around with his students from time to time, but then gets very serious with them when it comes to their grades.

• Mr. Hobbs is skilled at making math fun with a capital F!

• They didn’t do so well on a test? Not a problem! Russel will happily allow a student to retake it, as long as they go home and study.

• He will greet each student by their name when they enter his class.

• Russel has a general concern for his students and desires the best for all of them.

• His students can count on him being genuine

• Will bring treats for the class if they did really well on a quiz or test!

• Allows his students to use their phones once they have finished all their work.

• When his students throw him a surprise party in the classroom on his birthday, he breaks down in happy tears.

• Murdoc's classroom is situated across the hall from his own.

• Russel doesn't know why, but he feels that Mr. Niccals is teaching for all the wrong reasons.

• He really doesn't think Murdoc should be teaching teenagers, or really anyone. Russel couldn't think of anyone less qualified to be a teacher.

• Whenever he's in the teacher's lounge, he likes socializing with other teachers like 2D or Noodle, but never with Murdoc. Russel tries to avoid him.

[desparikon]

Murdoc/MacGyver fluff (+ bonus Murdoc/Bozer)

I knew I wouldn’t commit to any Flufftober prompt lists, but I still wanted to post something, so here are a few ficlets/misfires/small-things-that-probably-won’t-turn-into-actual-fics.

First up is a gift for @murdocsmacattack:

Murdoc stretched out on the couch, letting his muscles relax. He already felt calmer, and he’d been in MacGyver’s house for maybe ten minutes. Great decision, extending his trip so he could force their paths to collide.

How could he be wrong when his heart’s pull to Angus is this strong? They belong together. Keeping them apart left their lives incomplete and unnecessarily painful. Why couldn’t the world understand that? He would always be part of Angus’ life. They were inseparable now, nosy friends and “The Law” be damned.

"What're you doing here?" Mac took a few hesitant steps into his living room.

The waiting, loneliness, near misses. They’d all paid off tenfold. He'd dropped in on a half-naked Angus. No shirt, just PJ pants. Murdoc always had an appreciation for the beauty that is Angus MacGyver. Perfect mind, perfect body, but he’d outdone perfection this time.

MacGyver had been working out. His abs were smoothly defined, with a visible six pack. And his arms. Oh fuck. His arms were huge. God. Murdoc needed to touch them, feel the strength. There were so many things MacGyver could do to him. Give him a hug, hold him, maybe even carry him, punch him--

Or Angus could hold him down with them. If he started a fight, Angus would be willing to use force. Let MacGyver get the upper hand, then pretend to tire himself out. Angus would think he’d won, but the real winner would be Murdoc, as Angus restrained his arms and pressed that hard body against him...

"Hey!" A blush started to spread across Mac’s cheeks despite his glare; Murdoc's ogling hadn’t been subtle at all.

Murdoc blinked. "Hmm?"

Oh. Right, yeah, he wasn’t looking at a screen this time. Angus could actually see him.

"Why're you in my house?"

"Because I wanted to see you."

He didn’t look convinced, so Murdoc changed the subject before he accidentally said something sappy in reassurance.

"I was going to ask what you've been doing with yourself, but obviously. Like damn, there’s no way to ignore your immaculately toned arms! You belong in an art museum. A perfectly sculpted marble statue!”

“I’m not all that. You say stuff like that because you’ve built a fantasy of me. Some ideal that I’m never going to live up to. Then I’ll disappoint you, so you’ll have an excuse...” Mac sighed as he pulled his arms across himself and let his gaze drop. “You should know by now what’s wrong with me. That I’m not a work of art.” Murdoc followed his line of sight down to where he was letting his fingers brush over a spot on his chest.

Ah, yes. His bullet wound scar. Lots of emotional baggage attached to that one. But this wasn’t just about that. He’d apparently caught Angus on a bad day, and while he didn’t mind being an outlet for Angus’ feelings, Murdoc was probably better at the physical side of comfort.

“Let me make you feel better.” Mac didn’t hesitate to cross the room and lay his hand in Murdoc’s offered one.

Murdoc smiled as he pressed a few kisses to the back of Mac’s hand. “Well, I think you’re perfect the way you are. You know you’ll always be the masterpiece in my art museum.”

A small smile appeared on Mac’s face. “You don’t know when to quit. I feel like you’re about to pull out a bad pick-up line, saying something sappy like that.”

“I can set a mood.” Murdoc broke out his most charming grin. “If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?”

Murdoc planned to use Mac’s laughter as distraction to pull him down onto the couch, but he reacted too quickly and pulled his hand free, grabbing Murdoc’s wrist instead. He instinctively pulled his arm back, giving Mac momentum to flatten him back into the couch and straddle him. He pulled Murdoc’s arms above his head and ran his hands along them, firmly pinning them down when Murdoc tested his hold.

"Does this set the mood?" Murdoc fought back a moan as Mac emphasized the question by squeezing his wrists.

That little smirk was going to kill him.

"Oh, definitely."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I want to take a shower with you!” Mac playfully bumped against Murdoc as they walked down the hallway to his bedroom. “I’m gonna be lonely!”

“Should’ve thought about that before you pushed me into that bottomless mud pit.”

“Mud puddle. And I didn’t push you. You just lost your balance. Suddenly.”

“After-- Nevermind. Point is, now it’s dry, and it’s stuck to my skin, and it’s itchy.” He gestured toward his bed. “Why don’t you go make yourself at home on my bed? I know how much it appeals to your inner puppy.”

Mac couldn’t deny that. There’s something irresistible about a huge bed that begs him to roll around on it while rubbing his face on the soft blanket.

The sound of the bathroom door shutting caused Mac to whip his head around. “Hey!!” He rushed to the bathroom door and tried to turn the handle, even though he knew it’d be locked. “That’s cheating!”

“It’s not my fault you’re desperate to get into my bed.”

As he turned back, he noticed that Murdoc had forgotten his towel and clothes on the bed. Judging by the muffled groaning coming through the door, Murdoc had just come to the same realization.

"Ohhhh no! Who forgot this stuff on the bed?"

“Come on, MacGyver!”

“Oh my god! Are those--” Mac went over to the bed and picked up the pants Murdoc had laid out. “The best lounge pants ever! I love these! And they’re still warm from the dryer!” He kicked off his jeans and put them on, sighing happily at how well they fit. Why were Murdoc’s clothes always so comfy?

“These are mine now. Too bad for you, the dryer’s downstairs.”

“You think I won’t walk around naked in my own house?”

"Is it me, or is it a little hot in here? I’m gonna go turn the thermostat down, like, 10 degrees, and put this stuff back in the dryer, but don’t worry, I’ll be waiting right outside the door for you!”

It’d be great. Murdoc wouldn’t be able to dry off, so he’d be dripping water everywhere, with Mac hanging off him while he tried to get dressed—because how was Mac supposed to resist a naked Murdoc?

“Angus!” Mac knew from the whine that he’d won.

“I want a hand massage.”

“What?”

“You thought I was asleep that time, but I wasn’t.”

“Fine.”

“And I get to pet your hair! So. Fluffyyy~”

“You’re killing me, Angus.”

“I’m just acting as dramatic as you do.”

Murdoc opened the bathroom door and pointed toward Mac’s legs as he moved past him to get to his bed. “Take my pants off.”

“Gladly!”

Mac tackled Murdoc from behind, knocking him to the floor. Murdoc squirmed under him, trying to pry Mac’s hands from around his waist, where they were starting to unbuckle his belt.

"That’s not what I meant, and you know it!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bozer hummed as he finished winding the last light strand around his arm, and placed it onto the driveway next to the other rolls. The sun’s heat was made comfortable by the light breeze. When the weather was nice like this, he didn't mind that he’d spent the day untangling a box of lights.

And really, the worst part of decorating was yet to come: getting up on the roof, being careful to not fall off and die while hanging the lights. It'd be worth it though. Mac and he enjoyed the aesthetic of Halloween lights, and he couldn't wait to surprise Mac with a decorated house. Plus, the soft glow of holiday lights seemed to make everyone happy.

Now that all the strands were organized, he could better see what designs had been in the box of "Mystery Assorted Halloween Lights" he'd gotten for cheap. Pumpkins, black wire bats, ghosts, friendly-looking spiders, icicle style lights with whimsical skeletons. Those were Bozer's favorite. They'd definitely be going above the front door.

As he began lining up the piles in the order that he wanted to hang them, his back made contact with something. Furrowing his brow, he turned to look. He wasn't even close to the basketball hoop…

"Hey, Bozer."

Of course. Murdoc has the uncanny ability to detect when someone's having a good day. Then he’d ruin it because how dare people enjoy life.

Bozer rolled his eyes at Murdoc's self-satisfied smile. "Can't you ever greet people like normal?"

"You bumped into me before I could yell boo."

Bozer huffed and he turned his attention back to the lights. "Look, I didn't untangle all these lights just to have you murder me five minutes after. You better be ready for me to come back as a ghost and haunt you."

"Why does everyone assume I only appear to commit murder? I'm visiting."

Bozer debated whether to admit that he was home alone. If Murdoc knew Mac was gone, he might leave since flirting with Mac is his main entertainment, but it could also convince him to get on with whatever he'd planned, which didn’t bode well for anyone except Murdoc.

"Well, you'll have to cut your visit short. Mac's busy."

"I know he's not here."

A rush of fear ran through Bozer’s veins. How long had Murdoc been watching?

He crossed his arms, hoping to feign confidence. "Then...?"

"I’m visiting you, Wilt. You looked lonely. Figured you could use some company as you make your house all festive."

“No way. You’ll decide to make things “fun” and knock the ladder over, and then I’ll fall 500 feet to my death.”

“What if I said I’d get on the roof for you?”

“...Really?”

Bozer’s excitement must’ve been contagious because Murdoc’s smile lacked malice as he shrugged. “Sure.”

“I’ll get the ladder!” Bozer headed into the garage before Murdoc changed his mind. He saw a blur of movement in his peripheral vision and turned in time to see Murdoc launch himself up from the nearby raised planter, run up the house, \then pull himself onto the roof. Murdoc lived for the dramatics, but did he have to make it look so graceful?

And why did he have to parade around on the roof like a model owning a catwalk? Tall and confident. He knew he looked good. Although, maybe Murdoc wasn’t doing it on purpose. Mac wasn’t around to impress. Surely Murdoc didn’t like Bozer enough to want to impress him, right? No, Murdoc probably just enjoyed being up high so he could pretend to be a king overlooking his kingdom.

“Halloween!!!” Bozer bounced along the front of the house, amazed that all the lights worked. They were going to look fantastic when the sun set! “See! Even you aren’t immune to Halloween spirit. It’s chaotic. Just like you.”

When he looked up, Murdoc wasn’t standing there anymore. He’d moved to the part of the roof above the driveway, apparently considering it an acceptable spot to jump down to.

“NO!” Bozer ran over, frantically waving his arms. “You can’t jump off there! You’ll splat on the concrete!”

Murdoc’s mischievous smirk made Bozer nervous, and he unconsciously took a few steps back.

“Not if I land on you.”

“You’re not using me as a landing pad! Besides, you could probably still break something!” Murdoc didn’t look deterred. Risking injury usually didn’t, but it’s not like the situation was urgent. If he was going to be stupid and not wait for Bozer to get the ladder, then he’d have no one but himself to blame when he got hurt.

...But Bozer knew he’d feel bad if Murdoc got hurt. He sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

Murdoc’s face lit up. “You’re going to let me tackle you?”

“If it’s between that and you getting hurt, then yeah.”

Murdoc studied Bozer, his head cocked slightly. After a few moments, he walked to the side of the house, and carefully lowered himself before dropping the remaining few feet. He strolled over to stand by Bozer.

“Crazy,” Bozer mumbled.

“I try!” Now that he’d gotten some distance, Murdoc could better admire the lights. “I like it.”

“You did a good job.” Bozer hesitated before throwing his arms around Murdoc, trapping him in a sideways hug. “Thanks, Murdoc.”

[last-living-imagines]

can we please get some of murdoc's lil daughter helping the rest of the gang surprise her dad for his birthday 🙌🏼🙏🏽

Of course! Only the best for our favorite bassist~

Side note: THIS IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT LMAO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MURDOC!

“Mudz! Come on, we’re gonna be late!” Noodle crossed her arms, huffing as she blew her bangs out of her eyes. For Murdoc’s birthday, she was tasked with keeping him out of the house all day– so she had plenty of interviews and shoots set up to keep him busy. Russel and 2D would be staying back at the house with Lilith, who wanted to throw her dad a surprise party. Russel had been tasked with cooking, as the little girl quickly learned that her blue-haired uncle was not the best chef. 2D would instead decorate– “You can reach tall places!” Lilith had gestured around to the corners of the house. “That’s where the streamers go.”

“Alright, geez.” Murdoc came downstairs, slipping his jacket over his shoulders. “They couldn’t have scheduled these damn things a different day?” He grumbled, looking around for his daughter so he could say goodbye. 

“Daddy!” Lilith came bounding out of the kitchen, arms held out for a hug. Murdoc easily caught her and scooped her up into his arms, kissing her temple. 

“There’s my little hellraiser.” Lilith giggled at the nickname. “Do you know what today is?” 

“Your birthday!” She clapped, a mischievous smile forming on her face. “You’re oooooold.” At this, Murdoc rolled his eyes, kissing her again before setting her back down. Noodle had to excuse herself outside because she was laughing so hard.

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me kid. We’ll be back later, okay? Stay here with your uncles.” Murdoc ruffled his daughters dark locks before following Noodle out the door. Before it could close, Lil ran to the door.

“Ahem!” She stamped her foot as watched her father turn back, shouting a “love you!” to her before sticking his tongue out at her. Letting the door close behind her, Lilith ran back into the kitchen. “He’s gone! We gotta start now Uncle Russ!” 

2D laughed from where he sat at the island in the middle of the room. “Calm down there, little one.” He shook his head, gesturing for her to sit with him. “Ya gotta finish ya breakfast first.” 

As the morning turned into afternoon, Lilith had been making a card for Murdoc so they didn’t have to go try and find one. She’d had to restart a few times though, since she misspelled ‘birthday’ and didn’t like her drawing. “How’s it going Lil?” Russel peeked over his shoulder. He was currently making the frosting to put on the cake– trying to make a nice turquoise color was not as easy as it appeared. 

“Almost done!” She finished coloring in the heart she had drawn (with a little help from 2D) and held it up for her uncle to see. 

“Very nice!” Russ gave her a thumbs up, turning back to his still too green frosting. He accidentally squirted more drops of food coloring into the bowl than he wanted because of 2D’s unexpected screaming. Before he could react, Lilith was out of the room, ready to save her other uncle from whatever thing had hurt him.

Turns out, 2D screamed over a slightly-bigger-than-normal spider that ‘came out of nowhere.’ He picked Lilith up so she could reach the bug, letting her pick it up before shooing her toward the door to let it outside. “It’s just a spider, Uncle Stu! Just wants to eat other bad buggies.” She smiled at it before setting it down in the bushes outside the door. 

2D rubbed his hands over his face, shaking off the fright the insect had given him. “Now that it’s gone, ya wouldn’t mind helping me a little more, would ya?” He held up the roll of tape he had been sticking streamers up with. 

After wrapping the presents and decorating the cake, it was time to wait. Something Lilith absolutely hated doing. “Uncle Russsssss,” She whined, pulling on his arm and twisting around on the floor. They had finished setting everything up about 20 minutes ago, Noodle letting them know they would be home soon and that she’d let them know when they were pulling into the driveway. “How much loooonger?” She let go of him, flopping onto the floor in a heap. She had never been a patient child, something she definitely inherited from Murdoc.

“Shouldn’t be much longer.” He checked his phone again, his eyes lighting up when a message from Noodle appeared. “They’re back! Quick, go wait over on the stairs.” He smiled as she dragged 2D with her by the pant leg.

“I’m comin’! No need to drag me like that.” 2D shook his head, smiling at his niece. Out of everyone in the band, Stu was happiest that Lilith came to live with them– she was making Murdoc a *somewhat* better person and for that he was grateful. While she may be a clone of her father, she was much more gentle and kind.

Noodle bit her lip to suppress the grin that so desperately wanted to form on her face as she looked up at the darkened windows of Kong. She turned to see Murdoc flick what was left of his cigarette on the ground, giving her an odd look. “What’s with you?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Oh nothing! I’m just happy to be back. I can finally get some food in me.” She led him up the walkway, choosing to ignore whatever he was mumbling under his breath. She opened up the door, grinning into the darkness.

“What the-? Why’s it so damn dar–” Murdoc’s hand flew in front of his eyes as the lights suddenly turned on, blinding the ever living hell out of him.

“Surprise!” The four of them cheered. Murdoc glanced around to see streamers and balloons hung up around the room and in the kitchen. He grinned at his bandmates and daughter, laughing as she ran to him.

 “Were you surprised?” Lilith smiled, throwing her arms around his neck. He nodded, kissing the side of her head before looking back at the band. 

“You lot did this for little ol’ me?” 

“It wasn’t our idea.” 2D nodded toward Lilith, who hid her blushing in Murdoc’s neck. “Now come on, Russ made food and I can’t wait to eat it anymore.” 

Oh, how badly Noodle wanted to push Murdoc’s face into the cake. Her hand’s twitched as she tried to hold back, wanting him to at least read what it said on top. “Really? ‘You’re old?’” Murdoc chided them and shook his head, grumbling about how he didn’t need to be reminded. 

“I’M DOING IT!” Noodle pushed his head into the cake, laughing as she scurried away from his grasp. Lilith couldn’t help the fits of laughter that fell from her lips as she joined her aunt on the floor, who was holding her stomach from laughing so hard. 2D, who was sat next to Mudz, began to slowly scoot away in fear of his wrath. To everyone’s surprise, Murdoc sat up– frosting covering his face and in his hair– and laughed. He was only laughing because he knew exactly how he was getting Noodle back. Murdoc wiped the frosting from around his eyes, quickly grabbing the woman and running out the back door. Lilith and her uncles watched from the window as Noodle desperately tried to hang onto him, screaming as she was thrown into the pool behind her. 

“Uh-oh.” Lilith ran screaming into the bathroom, knowing she was next. She watched from the crack under the door to see who came up to the door, making sure it wasn’t her father’s boots. Instead, she saw Russel’s sneakers appear. “Password?”

“Bubblegum.” Russel watched her peek outside, making sure it was just him. “Don’t worry– he’s gonna get washed off.” He winked, leading her out to where Mudz was bent over helping Noodle out of the water. Russel picked up the green man, tossing him in.

“What the fuuuuuuuck!” Murdoc screeched as he sank underwater, his middle finger being the first thing to come up.

“This one next!” Lilith pushed a long box across the floor, struggling with the weight. “I picked it out.” She grinned up at her father as she finally got the box in front of him. As he flipped the lid on the box, his eyes landed on a beautiful purple bass. When he picked it up, it glittered in the light and almost seemed to turn black. 

“This is perfect!” Murdoc grabbed his daughter and kissed her cheek, thanking her for the very thoughtful gift. “You did a good job, my little devil.” He looked back down to grab the card that was inside, seeing a picture of the five of them that Lilith had drawn just for him. 

“Ha! My card is better than the one you got, ‘D.” He stuck his tongue out at the singer, who flipped him off. 

“Thank you all for these lovely gifts. Really, I mean it.” He held Lilith just a little closer, smiling at his bandmates. His odd little family might not be much, but to Murdoc, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[qorillas]

some more gorillaz headcanons

murdoc is actually pretty decent at voguing and can pull off a flawless death drop. he does it whenever he’s not getting his way and wants to be petulant about it. there have been a lot of arguments in which murdoc is about to lose but instead drops to the ground suddenly and slides away on his back, whining “you can’t maaaaake meeeee.” he’s been doing it less as he gets older but he’s still not allowed to come on supermarket trips anymore. last time russ wouldn’t let him get the sugary cereal he wanted and he death dropped in the middle of the aisle and caused a scene and a cleanup on aisle 4. 

everyone steals everyone else’s nail polish, even though as a whole the band has over 400 different bottles. this sometimes leads to really passive-aggressive messages in the group chat. when noodle was little, she insisted on painting everyone’s nails for them; this doesn’t happen as much anymore, but since there’s always a bottle of nail polish somewhere in reach, long conversations between people tend to be held over a communal nail painting session. 2d still can’t paint the nails on his left hand; murdoc usually paints them for him. 

more under the cut!

part of the reason 2d’s so skinny is because, along with just being naturally tall and thin, he forgets to eat a lot. it’s kind of overwhelming for him to keep track of things or to gather enough spoons to fix himself an entire meal, and it’s common for him to focus so hard on staying mentally present or hyperfocus on a lyric or chord that he completely loses track of time. the rest of the band get exasperated when they realize 2d hasn’t eaten anything the whole day, but it’s mainly out of concern that he’s not taking proper care of himself. they each have different ways of dealing with this: russel’s taken to carrying around a bag full of granola bars and fruit snacks in his purse, and will wordlessly nudge 2d when they’re in the studio and hand him a snack if he thinks it’s been too long since 2d’s eaten. noodle likes to check up on 2d while he works and will ask him to go get boba or some other snack with her, or ask him to help her make dinner so that she knows that he’s had something to eat. murdoc will barge into 2d’s room unannounced with a plate full of homemade tamales or a bowl of pozole, shove it under his nose, and sit there glaring at him until he finishes the whole thing. “the whole thing, 2d, i don’t want my singer dropping dead in the middle of a concert because he accidentally starved himself to death, jesus.” 

watching the great british baking show is less of enjoying a tv show and more of a battledome experience. they place bets on who’s going to be kicked off and who’s going to win star baker each week; things can get heated when someone’s favorite baker doesn’t prove their dough for long enough or leaves something in the oven for too long. 2d is no longer allowed to have popcorn during viewing sessions because he will fling it at the tv and boo loudly when something goes wrong. noodle’s ringtone is an audio clip of murdoc screeching, in a very scandalized tone, “you can’t just GLAZE bread straight out of the OVEN.” russel has had to prevent physical altercations over the show on multiple different occasions.

russel and murdoc tend to run into each other late at night in the living room or kitchen because of their weird sleeping habits. sometimes they’ll just silently acknowledge each other, but other times they’ll discuss plans for the next music video or tour, have conversations about current political and social issues, and on rare occasions vent about their pasts to each other. both of them have teared up during talks like these. they’ve been having these late-night talks for years. they both appreciate the other’s maturity and thoughtfulness  — but they’d never tell each other, and they never mention these conversations during the daytime. 

you’d think murdoc’s the one who’s the wildest at afterparties, but actually it’s 2d. it’ll be 3 or 4am and murdoc will be exhausted after getting up to some wild shit all night long but 2d will still be out in the middle of the dance floor, dancing on random people with his shirt missing and on all sorts of rave drugs. the first time noodle managed to convince the boys to let her come to an afterparty with them (she was already like 21, it took a while) she tried to follow 2d into the crowd and murdoc stopped her. “you don’t want to see that,” he said. “even i can’t keep up with him.” 2d was already crowdsurfing. 

even as a 10 year old, noodle was strong enough to pick 2d up on her back and carry him around. he was so tall compared to her, though, that she couldn’t actually give him piggyback rides until phase 2, and even then he had to fold his legs up around her torso and cling on like a baby sloth. it looked absolutely ridiculous, and they have home movies of noodle shooting around the house at top speeds, with 2d on her back, limbs nearly touching the ground, arms and legs wrapped around her, screaming in terror. 

murdoc never got his wisdom teeth out as a child (his father was far too negligent to see that he received proper dental care). sometime in phase 2 russel took noodle to a dentist appointment and forced murdoc to at least get his teeth checked out while they were there, since it had been so long since his last dental exam. they ended up removing murdoc’s wisdom teeth, which of course meant that he came out of the appointment high as shit on laughing gas. russel and noodle had a hard time getting him back into the car because he refused to move from the chair, insisting that the floor was going to swallow him, and then trying to escape from them and wobbling straight into a wall. they had to strap him into the car using three seatbelts. murdoc alternated betweeing seeming pretty grumpy about the whole situation and trying to pull the cotton out of his mouth, screeching that he was in charge of the band and they couldn’t tell him what to do, and breaking into tears and telling them that he loved them so much and they were his family. they gave him to 2d to babysit when they got home because they couldn’t put up with him anymore. when they came back an hour later they found murdoc half-asleep on 2d’s bed, 2d braiding his hair and rambling on about facts about keyboards. murdoc insists none of this ever happened and that he was born without wisdom teeth. 

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Gorillaz Teacher! AU Headcanons

Headcanons for an au where the Gorillaz members are high school teachers instead of a virtual band. lol I've been thinking about this idea for awhile now and I thought it be alot of fun to do, so enjoy! Hopefully it's not too bad. Special thanks to my friend @you-cant-tell-me-what-to-draw for helping me with this. I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes.

Murdoc:

• Wait, how'd he even get this job and why hasn't he been fired yet???

• Teaching is honestly just a shitty day job for him, once he earns enough, he's quitting to become a famous rockstar with his own band! Ah, he could see it now - fame, glory, girls, it sounds like a dream come true! But, until he had the money to make that dream a reality, he was stuck as the school's social studies teacher.

• When he quits his job as an "educator" it's gonna be very similar to the fuck you scene from the movie "Half Baked".

• The kids in all his classes really don't like him.

• He shows up to class 30 minutes late most of the time. Sometimes he'll show up completely sober, while other times he'll show up drunk.

• The pickle's got WAY too many political views that he refuses to keep to himself.

• If Murdoc falls asleep at his desk, one of the kids might try to either draw a dick on his forehead and take a picture of it, or they might try to put a 'kick me' sign on his back. But they have to be EXTRA careful or they might wake the grouchy goblin up!

• If he does wake up, he'll be extremely mad and end up giving the whole class a pop quiz first thing tommorrow morning.

• GRADING PAPERS IS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ARSE...So he simply doesn't do it.

• The only time Murdoc will actually teach his class something about social studies is if the principal, or some other important adult of the school, walks into the room to see what's up. Once they leave, he goes straight back to sleep.

• He thinks that Stuart Pot, the school's new music teacher, is an idiot. He decides to give him the nickname '2D' because he feels that the man is "too dense" to be a music teacher. Murdoc has walked by Stuart's classroom a couple of times before and has overheard him and his students singing while Stu plays the piano. He would usually put his ear against the door to hear more. He had to admit - the guy had some really nice vocals. Plus, he's tall, pretty, has blue hair and both of his eyeballs! Murdoc jots down in his head that he has to remember to force that Stu-Pot guy to be the front man of his future band once he gets the money he wants and decides to quit.

• Murdoc only tries to "befriend" 2D because he's a music teacher, and also because he wants him to be his future front man.

• When he learns that the teacher of the class with the highest test scores will receive a large bonus pay, he decides to change his style of "teaching", forcing the students in his class to study intensely for the upcoming test. However, that doesn't do much as the kids end up getting low scores on their tests.

• He's been embezzling money from the 9th grade bake sale.

2D/Stuart Pot:

• He's the new music teacher!

• He quickly becomes well-liked by students and co-workers. 

• Stuart's a nice teacher who carries himself off as a goofy professional who knows what he's doing.

• Believes that his students will become great musicians one day.

• He sometimes likes to teach with music playing in the background.

• He may accidentally give students test answers when they asked for clarification on a question.

• Will write original songs for his class to perform.

•Has an afterschool club where he teaches students how to play piano, keyboards, and melodica.

• https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WHLITe7KM_Y (His class in a nutshell)

• Stuart is a bit terrified of Murdoc because one time, when the two were on lunch duty together, Murdoc was explaining to him a dream that he had last night where he launched his car through a music shop that Stu-Pot was apparently working at and had knocked one of his eyes out! " Oh, uh, o-okay... W-Well, it's a good thing you aren't actually going to run me over with a real car, right?....RIGHT?!"

Noodle:

• She has a full real name, but prefers for people to refer to her as "Noodle" which was a nickname she got back in her childhood.

• The kids usually refer to her as "Ms. Noodle".

• She's the teaching assistant/ teacher's aide for Stuart's class!

• She's super kind because she pretty much helps everyone in the class who needs it, even the bratty kids.

• She's in charge of guitar club afterschool!

• She really likes guitar club since it provides a safe and fun environment for students to come together and enjoy music.

• She's a queen at playing acoustic guitar and ukulele!

•  You'll most likely find her in the teacher's lounge playing on her pink nintendo ds while drinking tea and munching on the vending machine candy and snacks that they had in there.

• The teacher's lounge was her favorite room to be in for obvious reasons.

Russel:

• He's the no nonsense math teacher who will joke around with his students from time to time, but then get very serious with them when it comes to their grades.

• Mr. Hobbs knows how to make math fun with a capital F!

• They didn't do so well on a test? Not a problem! Russel will happily allow a student to retake it, so as long as they go home and study.

• He'll greet each student by their name as they walk into his class.

• Russel generally cares about his students and wants the best for all of them. 

• He's real with his students.

• Will bring in a treat for the class if they did really well on a quiz or test!

• Allows his students to be on their phones once they've completed all their work.

• When his students throw him a surprise party in classroom on his birthday, he breaks down in happy tears.

• Murdoc's class is across the hall from his.

• Russel doesn't know why but...he gets the feeling that Mr. Niccals is teaching for all the wrong reasons.

• He really doesn't think Murdoc should be teaching teenagers, or really anyone. I mean, Russel couldn't think of anyone less suited to being a teacher.

• Whenever he's in the teacher's lounge, he likes socializing with other teachers like 2D or Noodle but never with Murdoc. He's someone Russel tries to avoid.