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✦ 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✦
captain john price x f!reader (raven) | smut, 18+ | 4.2k
summary: when a seemingly bulletproof mission goes awry, captain price makes the vital mistake of pursuing the target alone and contributes to the chaos that almost claims the life of one of his men. When he returns, he lacks the humility to accept your reprimand lying down.
cw: mwiii spoiler free. war and violence, mentions of wounded, ooc price maybe a little? angst, enemies to enemies that fuck, reader is pathetically attracted to price because same, literally a voice kink fic disguised as a deep throating fic, very light degradation, bratty behaviour from reader, heavy face fucking, hair pulling, praise, gagging, very little aftercare.
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It all goes tits up.
Shouts of distress arise across the coms in the CIA conference room, blaring through the headphones glued to the watchers’ heads. Ghost’s gruff voice calls out a casualty, leading General Shepard to launch out of his seat and crash his fist against the tabletop. Mugs of coffee tip over from the force of the impact, liquid bleeding into top secret documents- they aren’t his primary concern.
“Lieutenant, this is Gold Eagle. Is there an issue, Ghost?” Shepard’s voice snarls down the coms.
“Sir, it’s Soap- he’s been hit.”
Hanging your head between your shoulders, you barely register the orders that Shepard screams into the microphone of his headset, his spittle peppering the laptop screen where he oversees the mission descending into chaos. Your ears are ringing, your heart thumping wildly against your sternum. Further panic ensues, Gaz shouting a brief, hurried explanation of the mission breakdown. “… snipers in the mountain, sir. Had to dispatch them- I can’t see Captain Pri—”
“Bravo 2-6, this is Raven. Confirm Captain Price’s location,” you insist, swallowing the alarm that threatens to haemorrhage from your lips.
“Negative, Ma’am. Lost him while dispatching the snipers.”
“Fuck,” you mutter, feeling your blood boil at The Captain’s recklessness. “Fuck!”
Your fingers blur over your keyboard, focusing your attention on John Price’s coms. Again, Shepard barks orders at Ghost, but you can’t hear him over your own heavy breathing and pressing tone as you address Price in a fury.
“Captain Price, this is Raven; confirm your location immediately!”
Silence at first. Coffee drips from the edge of the tabletop by your feet, pooling into the navy-blue carpet. It stains like blood, a dark smear. You can imagine it in Price’s camo uniform, spreading thick and fast from a bullet wound- a direct hit to the chest.
“We’re gonna lose Hassan.”
“Captain Price,” you yell down the microphone, simultaneously relieved to hear his voice and enraged at his increasingly frequent decision to go AWOL, “We will most definitely lose Hassan if I must bury every member of 141! Return to Team Bravo immediately!”
You’re almost certain you can hear Price’s teeth grind together, the enamel straining under the weight of his fury and threatening to crack down to the root. “Are you tellin’ me we let him go?”
“Captain Price, I am telling you that we were given faulty intel. I am telling you that we are sustaining heavy losses and that Sergeant MacTavish is critically wounded, and I am calling for EVAC!” Your knuckles are bleached where your fists hover over the keyboard, nails digging into your palms so hard you’re sure the indents they leave burrow straight to the bone as you await confirmation of Price’s retreat. “Task Force 141 is a priceless tool against Al-Qatala. I cannot afford to lose every member for the sake of a man we will ultimately have to chance to apprehend again!”
Your eyes float to General Shepard. He’s furious, his irises swallowed by the hollow blackness of his pupils as he jerks his head in confirmation of permission to evacuate 141. It shouldn’t have come to this.
“Do you copy, Captain Price?” You yell down the microphone, finally losing your cool with the maddening Englishman that continued to defy your authority.
“… Yes, ma’am.”
**
The ticking minutes-hand of the analogue clock that hangs above your desk sweeps away half of the day before you have confirmation of 141’s safe return to American soil. A further two hours of urgent, life-saving surgery have you chewing your nails to the quick. By the time word reaches you of Soap’s stable condition, your nailbeds are bloody and raw.
“Intel confirms a convergence of Las Almas fighters on the Mexican-Guatemalan border. We believe they intend to smuggle Hassan out of Mexico and into Venezuela, where they would almost certainly grant him sanctuary. Air surveillance suggests that armed guards patrol the border twenty-four seven, concentrated significantly around a central point where we suggest they will attempt to help Hassan over it. Ghost and Soap will lead a special operations unit to kill all Las Almas fighters on sight. Captain Price and Gaz will handle Hassan and the fighters guarding him with the help of the Mexican Special Forces. Captain Price, you have execute authority, but we want Hassan alive for interrogation.”
Enraged by the complete breakdown of the mission, your mind replays your mission briefing repeatedly, scanning the tiniest of details in vain hope of understanding how such a concise and faultless plan had almost killed a vital member of your task force. You couldn’t have made it more transparent, having covered every possible eventuality. Even the risk of faulty intel had been accounted for, enough backup issued should teams Alpha and Bravo find themselves outnumbered, yet…
“Captain Price and Gaz will handle Hassan and the fighters guarding him.”
High-ranking officials sidestep you as you turn the corner to your offices, just barely escaping your warpath as you zero in on your target. The heels of your polished shoes crack against the lino flooring of the hallway like gunfire, the sound ricocheting off the walls and alerting those in your way to your fury.
Perhaps it would explain the wide-eyed shock already present in both Shepard and Captain Price aimed at the door of the General’s office when you throw it open with rage.
“John!”
“I fucked up--“he attempts to assure you of his guilty conscience, gesturing vaguely to his commanding officer, who no doubt had already laid into him over his poor decision-making. It does little to dispel the bubbling temper that churned in your stomach and coated your tongue with a sour taste.
“You’re damn right, you fucked up,” you scoff loudly, watching Price cross his thick, bulky arms across his chest as he surrenders to your verbal onslaught. “Your decision to ignore my plan and, arguably, go AWOL nearly cost Johnny his life! I’d issued a faultless mission briefing and paired you with Gaz against Hassan! With Gaz!”
General Shepard watched you chew up Price from his seat at his desk, lacing his fingers across the surface littered with pictures that looked as though they’d been ripped from the bodycam and air surveillance footage of the failed mission. Photographic evidence of Price’s incompetency—or rather, his blind faith in himself that he could singlehandedly take on a small army of Las Almas fighters and legendary terrorist fighter Major Hassan Zyani.
A bitter spark flashes across Captain Price’s cerulean eyes, his inflammatory retaliation worming its way between his gritted teeth and rumbling in his chest.
“It’s easy for you to criticise my split-second decisions when you sit behind a desk every mission, barkin’ orders with coffee in your hand.”
It’s a miracle that you restrain yourself, momentarily considering issuing a reminder of your military prowess in the form of hand-to-hand combat. If it weren’t for the haggard strain of John’s voice from his bellowed EVAC orders in a desperate attempt to save Soap’s life, you’d have connected your balled-up fists to his face. Instead, you spit in retaliation.
“Need I remind you that before I used to call the shots, I used to shoot people?”
Price lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head at your comment and opening his mouth to argue. You don’t let him, smothering the threat of his stupid rebuttal of ‘with what, a water pistol?’.
“Your decision to pursue Hassan nearly killed Johnny,” you repeat the undeniable fact, punctuating it with a violent jab of your finger towards him, “Do you realise how close I was to calling into Scotland? How close I was to organising the coffin to bring him home in? How dare you undermine me- disrespect the resume that put me in that seat and the people I killed to get there, Captain.”
If it weren’t for you, Price’d be standing in the pews of a church in Glasgow, draped in black and drenched in red.
Clearing his throat suddenly from his seat, General Shepard just barely splits the brutal tension bludgeoning your skull in the form of a migraine that only seemed to arise in the presence of Captain John Price. It thumps against your temple when Shepard makes a show of standing from his seat and pointing to the door.
“I can leave you both here to sort out your differences. The last thing you will both do is undermine my authority by screaming like petulant children in the corridor in front of my colleagues. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, sir,” you both manage to address him, eyes still pinned to each other like a missile’s locking system. Shepard grunts, and you note the twitch of a muscle in Price’s lower eyelid, his anger threatening to claw its way out of his face before he erupted with it.
The door to Shepard’s office swings open, heavy footsteps passing the threshold. In a sick, comedic chain of events, he doesn’t bother to pull it closed again. Instead, it creaks as the hinge closes achingly slowly.
You feel sick when you stare at Price. Not because you fear the words he could aim towards you in a critical hit—instead, you felt nausea at the concept of hearing the gravelly tone of his voice alone, the stabling force of your commanding officer absent.
It’s a dirty little secret that you’d never allowed yourself to speak. Even four Proseccos deep into a rare Christmas gathering of 141, you’d swallowed the word bile down that threatened to use your inebriation to rid yourself of the guilt. Price had admonished your choice of alcohol that night, commenting on how you could have chosen something better- like whiskey. The rumble of his voice in his sarcastic assessment had pooled in your stomach like the liquid amber he had suggested.
How could you possibly admit that the tone of his voice, so gritty and deep, swelled in your clit when you went to bed at night. That you replayed the ridiculous, pathetic one-liners he’d utter over the coms to you. The one time you’d issued a warning of an incoming threat, and Price had offered thanks in the only form he knew to give you: “Tha’s a girl”. You’d made a late-night Amazon order for new bedsheets and a mattress protector that same evening.
Click.
The door shuts, and the sound makes you jump as though John had slammed his fist on a big, red nuclear button.
“Are you done?”
The swallow that drags down your throat at the husked whisper he’d started with is far more audible in the now silent room. The spiteful gaze you had levelled at Price melts away, transfixing on him instead with something akin to dumb-struck, doe-eyed idiocy.
“P-Pardon?” You stumble over the two-syllable word that had confidently come to mind. Working in a building that relied so much on manners, there was absolutely no excuse for butchering a word you used upwards of fifty times a day.
Price’s eyebrow arches pointedly at you, the flickering ember in his irises that had previously resembled an inextinguishable fury instead glows with an amused curiosity at your very sudden surrender.
“Are you done making me look like a rookie in front of General Shepard?” He clarifies, stalking forward. He crosses the space between you both with long, cocky strides that make your heart pump double time when he finally settles in front of you. “Are. You. Done?”
“Hah-!” You laugh. You mean for it to mock his ridiculous notion, but instead, it’s all choked, nervous and airy because that damn voice knocks the oxygen from your lungs like he’d rendered a sucker punch to your gut. Price’s eyes pin you to your spot on the floor, root your feet to the coffee-stained carpet.
It’s utterly infuriating how he tilts his head in a smug observation of your panicked expression. You can see the exact moment he notes the tremble of your inhaled breath and the heat of your arousal rolling off your body. Fuck-
“John-“
There it is. Comprehension. The glistening sweat at your temple, the wide-eyed nervousness in your expression, and the breathy whisper of his name all surged forward and lit the bulb of realisation in his mind. You can practically see the golden glow of it in his pupils, a switch tck’ing when he murmurs an ‘oh’.
His lips split into a toothy, wily grin, “Oh, look at you, Station Chief.”
You bristle with panic with the way he makes a point to emphasise your rank, your lips parting in shock when he reaches up to grasp your chin in his hand.
“Who are you to question my decisions? You don’t even know if you want my cock in your mouth or your cunt.”
The sheer filth he utters makes your head reel as though he’d fed you some of his mind-numbing whiskey. You’re confident you’re gawping at him when he smirks at your reaction, his calloused thumbpad brushing across the bridge of your jaw. It reminds you of the way he caresses the trigger of a sniper rifle before he fires it and how you’d spent so many nights imagining that touch when you circled your clit-
“How ’bout we start with your mouth?” He urges you with a smokiness that rivals the puffs of his cigar. You loathed him for his smoking habits when the acrid scent clung to your hair but worshipped him for it when you buried your nose into your pillows when you came with a silent cry of his name.
You see his smirk widen suddenly, and it takes you far too long to realise that you’d let out a devastating whine at his lurid suggestion. John’s fingers and thumb settle on the pillowy flesh of your cheeks on either side of your mouth, pushing against them until your lips are pursed. It’s undignified, far beneath your station, but then-
“Gunna wanna open that mouth nice an’ wide for me, Dove.”
You sink to the floor of your commanding officer’s office floor before your rational mind even has a chance to talk you out of the offence- or acknowledge the choice of pet name that cheekily undermined your call sign. Your perfectly tailored office trousers crease beneath the weight of your knees… But suffering through cleaning and ironing them again was worth the rumble of a groan that fell from John’s lips as he watched you kneel for him.
“Fuck,” Price hums in appreciation, those gorgeous sky-blue irises swallowed by the midnight black of his pupils once more, “Spend all your time issuin’ orders, but you just needed someone else to take control, didn’ you, Love?”
For a moment, you hesitate. It’s improper, the way your knees ache with the hard floor beneath them. A tiny, quiet voice urges you to stand and rush out of the room before you damage your reputation any further, but the clink of John’s standard-issue belt buckle has your jaw falling slack before the idea can truly take root.
“Look at you,” he stresses again as he pulls the length of the belt from its loops with a slow thwppp sound, “So greedy for my cock. Anyone would think you’d been desperate for it all this time.”
John drags down his zipper, watching you look at him through your lashes. You don’t dismiss his hypothesis, instead choosing to stick your tongue out for him in an obscene act of fervour. The haggard groan that lurches from John’s lungs settles deep inside your cunt.
“You filthy girl,” he gasps, hurrying his hand into his trousers. He doesn’t even strip the pants from his hips, instead fishing his cock from his boxers and settling his balls against their waistband. “You have, haven’t you? How often did you touch yourself beneath the table while I spoke to you over the comms? Hmm?”
You’re so far gone now, so drunk on the idea of the agitating, ridiculous, utterly infuriating Captain finally fucking you that you might have answered that question-- if you’d heard it. Instead, his voice, which previously captured every fibre of your attention, drowned into the background of the thumping pulse in your ears. His cock sits just in front of your face, and it’s like you can’t breathe.
Ruddy and red at the tip, his cock already drools precum down the curve of its shaft. Veins throb beneath the thin, velvety skin, their ridges glistening beneath the wet tracks that his leaking seed leaves. It settles at the base, where his heavy balls rest against his boxer’s elastic waistband.
His question dies in the thick tension in the air, and you lean forward on your knees to press your drooling tongue right at the base of John’s cock where his precum pools. Your unexpected starting position causes John to spit out a curse, his fingers flying out to grip the strands of hair at the crown of your skull. “S-Shit-“
Saltiness coats your tongue where you lap up his cum, flattening your tongue against the underside of his shaft to trace his pronounced frenulum. Dragging your tastebuds upwards, you collect the tracks the droplets had left behind until the tip of your tongue rests on the underside of his fat cockhead. It’s disgusting, the relieved whine that escapes your open throat, but the vibration tips Captain John Price over the edge.
“Fuck! Eyes on me, Dove. Wanna see your eyes- that’s it.” John’s face contorts, brows creasing, and the edges of his lips turned down beneath the coarse hair of his beard as you look up at him, kissing the head of his velvety dick and slipping it into your mouth.
“Take orders so well. So obedient,” he purrs, the rumbling sound edging into a moan when you ease more of him into your mouth. He’s trying to play off the power dynamic, you note. Getting off on the fact that you’re his superior, but that he held the authority like this. A playful resentment teases the edge of your mind, urging you to remind him of his place.
You drag the edges of your teeth over his shaft. Not hard enough to hurt- just enough for a singing hiss to echo in the quiet room when you pull back from his cock.
It’s a mistake.
John grasps your hair at the back of your head, winding the strands around your fingers and suddenly rocks his hips forward. The length of his cock slides deep down your throat, and you splutter as your nose crushes into his pubic bone. “Couldn’t fuckin’ help yourself, could you?”
His gravelly reprimand swirls a ghost-like touch around your clit, and you gag around the length that intrudes against your throat walls. Price tuts softly, feeling your nails dig into his flesh beneath the camo canvas still covering his muscular thighs. It’s only when tears cling to your lashes that he draws your head back with a pull of your hair.
Gasping down a heavy breath, you splutter when John groans loudly. His cock twitches, drooling more precum as you gasp for breath, and he drags his eyes across your face. “Good fuckin’ girl. Takin’ me like that- didn’t it feel good?”
God, you’re nodding pathetically, tongue already lolling from your lips in a silent plea for more. The heaviness of his cock against your tongue and the vibrations of his lurid tone are enough for you to cum on their own, and you want more of them. John groans, a chuckle settling somewhere between the sound as he grasps the nape of your neck.
“Jus’ like that, you dirty girl,” he urges you, his free hand tapping at his balls in a wordless order. This time, you obey, tonguing over his finger before taking one of his balls into your mouth. You can hear the shaky exhale that rattles in his lungs when you suck.
“So fuckin’ good for me. I’ll fuck you against that desk one day, you hear?” You see him point in the corner of your vision, his index finger aiming at General Shepard’s desk. Realisation slams into you and rocks your clit with arousal- Shepard could walk in at any second and see his right-hand man stuffing Captain Price’s cock down her throat in the ultimate show of disrespect. John doesn’t seem worried about it. In fact, it’s as though he gets off on the idea, his eyes darting to the door as he details his plans for you.
“Think you’d look real nice on it. Far better than ‘is tacky nameplate. We’d make a mess together, get our cum all over it so he can smell jus’ how wrecked I left you-“
Moaning around the length of his cock, your clit throbbing desperately with his words, the vibrations cause John’s hips to lurch forward again. The head of his dick prods the back of your throat, but John’s tight grip doesn’t allow you to pull back. He’s buried to the hilt, twitching against your palate.
“Fuckin’ droolin’ for it, Love. It’s dripping down your chin—Fuck, you look so pretty like this,” He’s slurring his words as he watches you bob your head up and down on his length, swallowing around him and just barely holding back your gag reflex. It’s quick, messy, and loud, the wet sounds ricocheting off the office’s walls.
“D’you think he’s got cameras in here?” John muses, his voice thick with his incoming orgasm. The sound of it, the arousal coating his tongue has you whining desperately, “Why don’t you touch yourself, hmm? Give ’im a show.”
You sob around his girth like he’d just offered you a miracle. Fumbling, you don’t even bother wasting time trying to shove your hand down your trousers. Your fingers find the vague outline of your cunt through the crotch, roughly circling your clit through the layers of material.
It’s all you need. Your eyes roll back into your skull at just how close you are to cumming, your thighs trembling beneath your weight. You soaked through your panties and into the crotch of your trousers.
“Fuckin’ slutty girl,” John gasps, and you feel his cock jump at the sight of you already teetering on the edge, “’s my voice getting’ you off? Fuck, you’re fuckin’ perfect-“
Stop. Stop; you need him to stop. Your orgasm is ebbing at the edges of your abdomen, threatening to swallow you whole and drawing up tight, but John won’t shut the fuck up.
“C’mon, Love. Deeper. Deeper, that’s it. I’ll fuckin’ lick your pretty pussy if yo-“
His promises drown out with the surge of bliss that roars in your ears. Price times it perfectly, rocking his cock further down your throat so that you gag around his length. The lack of oxygen causes your nerve endings to sing when it cracks down your spine, bursting through your abdomen and spidering across your limbs like white-hot plasma.
Everything is loose with ecstasy, and it allows Price to issue one, two, three more brutal thrusts of his hips before he’s choking out a haggard warning that he’s going to cum.
“F-Fuck-“He chokes out, holding the nape of your neck before burying himself as deep as he possibly can without choking you, hot ropes of cum spurting down your throat. Even in your post-orgasm haze, mind numb, you swallow him down greedily. Big, heavy gulps, even licking your lips when he removes his dick from your throat to milk out the last drops of his cum onto them.
“Tha’s my girl, good, don’t let a drop go to waste.”
Price’s hand pushes back the mess of your hair from your face, careful to remove the strands that had clung to your tear-soaked eyelashes. You hold your breath, heart stilling its rapid beat as he brushes his thumb across your cheekbone to swipe up the tear tracks that had leaked from your eyes during his assault on your throat. It’s a single moment of tenderness, barely there, before he withdraws his touch to stuff himself back into his pants.
“Can you stand?” Price asks, his voice even hoarser than when you’d first walked into the room, like the moans you’d elicited from him were like sandpaper in his already raw throat. He holds out a palm- but you’re not cock-dumb enough to believe it’s a makeshift olive branch.
“Yes,” you whisper, matching his brutalised tone with your own as you bat away the helping hand he offers you. Price can’t help but scoff at your dismissal. Turns out even a dick down your throat wasn’t enough to change your uptight attitude. He watches you stand on shaky feet, trying to smooth out your creased knees before Shepard could wonder how exactly you’d made such a mess of yourself.
Besides your heaving breaths, still desperately pulling oxygen in your lungs to soothe the burn, the room is silent. Price finishes righting himself, smoothing his fingers through his cropped hair.
“Don’t forget what I said,” he murmurs, eyes sliding over to the desk. His promise to fuck you on it only barely re-enters your mind following a pointed look. Satiated somewhat by the blistering orgasm that had ripped through you, your rage struggles to roar to life like it had when you’d entered this room. Now it smelt like sex, and your anger only simmers in the base of your stomach.
“That is not happening again,” you promise him firmly.
“Mhmm,” he hums, following Shepard’s footsteps towards the door, “We’ll see about that, Dove.”
cod mwii/kinktober taglist:
@mockerycrow @bubuslutty @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @levi-llama @thebiscuitsheep @maelstrom007 @alexxavicry @bug-sy-boy @glennrheesworld @kittenfrostt @luvfromkat @blingblong55 @whore4dilfs @wolfyland07 @doggydale @dog55teeth @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @whore-for-anime @i-love-ghost @cyberpr1m3 @mockerycrow @bubuslutty @lundenloves @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @babychoi03 @infectedkura @allekat1988 @whore-for-anime @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @mockerycrow @cyberpr1m3 @i-love-ghost @allekat1988 @infectedkura @babychoi03 @freakquenci @maviee @yunggoblin @sleepystaarr @watyousayin @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @damn-dean-blog @pheonyxmoon @magicalreviewphantom @limegreenbabx @johfaam0 @iaur @justsayk
@mortallyuniquepeach @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @crybaby-blue-blog @heart-atttack @pansa-1-san @maviee @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago @s-u-t @ghostslynx @solidly-indulgent @glitterypirateduck @gummyfang @bii-aan-ckaa @konigsblog @crissteetee @crissteetee67 @sylvanasthebansheequeen @akaym2 @exploremyworldsm @thriving-n-jiving @su57 @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @tusk89 @bellasbees01 @dog55teeth
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moomin at barnes and noble usa! haul + extra info!
i was lucky enough to live only about 30 minutes from a store with the moomin merchandise! the selection at the b&n near me was a lot smaller than other stores i’ve seen pictures of online (but you get used to that sort of thing when you live in middle of nowhere, michigan haha.)
the selection included many books (not all from the series), kids toys, stationary, accessories, dishes, etc! here’s what i got!
in total, i spent $80ish-i actually think things were priced pretty well! buying merchandise from moominshop online and shipping it internationally to the us can be very expensive, so i was pretty pleased!
the most expensive i bought i believe was the tote bag for around $30. it is made of 100% recycled cotton and the print on it is absolutely beautiful and so vibrant! there were two tote bags options, but i chose this one because i love love love moomins on the riviera.
my mom and i immediately fawned over the jewelry dish! it is so adorable! the hand-painted ceramic is incredibly stunning and the details on snorkmaiden’s hair and anklet are amazing. it was only $20 for such a beautiful, one of a kind piece!
the coasters are another favorite find of mine! they had two different sets, but i decided on these two because i love the quotes! i also adore that the quotes have the book they’re from below the text! they costed $10 for the set of two!
this waterbottle is also absolutely gorgeous- it is thermal, so it keeps hot liquids hot and cold liquids cold! i was actually in the market for a new waterbottle, since my old one recently broke, and i love this! they had two different water bottles, both 500ml (a big step up from how tiny the arabia mugs are haha). it cost me $24.99 and i am so excited to bring it to college this autumn! :)
there were many enamel pins- one for each character in the main cast (aside from sniff, sorry sniff) to choose from! i decided on the snufkin one since unfortunately there wasn’t any other merchandise at my location that focused on him, which was a tad disappointing because he is my favorite character (aside from ninny, who had absolutely no merchandise at all.) the pins cost $5 each!
i had so much fun on my barnes and noble moomin adventure! i even dressed up for it! (is this a face reveal??? lol)
all in all- it would be awesome to live in a state that had a bigger collection (CA and NY had the most) but i am beyond happy that i got the opportunity to buy moomin things in person!
thank you for reading! cheers! ❤️❤️❤️
#leerae.txt#moomin#moomintroll#the moomins#snufkin#snusmumriken#moominmamma#moominpappa#sniff moomin#little my#lilla my#snorkfroken#snorkmaiden#ninny moomins#tove jansson#barnes and noble#barnes and noble x moomin#moomins on the riviera#haul
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Amazon Affiliate Listicle, but with my ADHD and propensity for swearing
So I'mma do a listicle of Amazon affiliate links just like every other place is doing for Prime Days.
I'm just gonna tell you ahead of time that I'm doing it for money and the sense of incredulity I feel about... Amazon as a whole.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
A Backbone, probably the most ridiculous gaming accessory I've ever seen. Yes, I'd like to use my phone as a controller for $35 more than a normal PS5 controller costs and have almost no other functionality!
I am ALL ABOUT BIDET ATTACHMENTS, okay, but this brand is so fucking overpriced. I'm not paying $77 to launch high-powdered water up my chocolate starfish, and I'm definitely not paying the normal $110. I WILL say that I've used this brand and it was good, but... Dudes. It's a stream of water to make wiping your ass easier. How much is that actually worth? This is a much better price for the exact same functions.
When I saw this set of movies, I didn't see that it was James Bond. Daniel Craig is wearing like a sweater, but I also didn't realize it was Daniel Craig. All I saw was CRAIG. This is, for some reason, absolutely fucking hilarious to me.
Instant Pot for $65, need I say more?
Okay I'm not even joking, this is just a pretty fucking decent price ($84) for a 1.5 TB microSD card.
If you have a 3D resin printer, today is the day to stock up: AnyCubic has some really good resin deals going on! I personally love the plant-based resin, but I've heard amazing things about their water-washable stuff. I wanna try the ultra-tough resin, though. (Note: this is UV resin so you don't have to actually use it in a 3D printer. You can use it in a mold too.)
Let's spend $50 to make a single cup of coffee at a time when I can make better coffee using a disposable tea bag. 🙄 The hatred I have for single-use coffee makers knows no bounds.
What you do is take about two regular spoons full of coffee grounds (another half a spoon if you like it harsh, half a spoon less if you like it light), put them in the tea bag. Put any other spices and flavorings you like in the bag too. Close it, and tie it closed really well (I wrap the strings around the top of the bag and tie them again when I've tied it.) steep for 5 minutes in a mug full of hot water (doesn't matter how it got hot), and then add milk or creamer depending on your preference. It will have less of an acidic bite and a better flavor profile.
I'm super into the idea of bleaching my tooth enamel until it rots away and my teeth are super white but extremely sensitive! Give it to me, Crest! Yeah Daddy!
If you DO want the tooth-brightening shit, you'll probably want to invest in a few tubes of Sensodyne. Trust me.
Oh, you eat Tide pods? Cool, cool, if you Wan a be like 2021 about it. I'm a dishwasher pod kid. Snack time.
OK no sarcasm, this shit will clean your washing machine so fuckin good. My daughter gave me some and suddenly none of us smell like Satan's asshole anymore. Fucking amazing.
Okay look, if you wanna get special pimple patches, go ahead, they're on sale today and they DO work, but they're just hydrocolloidal bandages. I get the regular ones bc I can cut them to shape.
Okay fullstop, I love the power mops Swiffer makes and this is a GREAT deal. Anyone wanna buy me a new mop? 😂
Oh shit, they have Naked mini-palettes for 40% off. That's $21 omg why am I a poor with expensive makeup taste??? WHY? (They also have the Stila liquid eyeliner on sale somewhere.)
Yes, sir? I'd like the biggest, widest computer monitor to ever exist. I'm a gamer, you see. A thousand dollars today, you say? What a deal! I'm a gamer! (Look, I have a gaming computer and a pretty big monitor but there's a fkn limit, Samsung. There's a line and you've crossed it.)
I almost didn't click on the "pet products" tab because I miss Ziva SO MUCH. But I do love pampering my pets. In that vein, WHO WANTS TO BUY A SHOCK COLLAR?
If you've ever needed 900 poop-scooping mini garbage bags... Today is your day. Time to shine.
Aw fuck, I found a pretty damn good deal on a cat tree.
If you don't have a 3D printer, you have to buy Settlers of Catan like a peon and it's on sale today.
I'm actually disappointed in myself how much I want this.
TICKET TO RIDE FOR UNDER $40.
If you wanna train your pet to talk these things are on sale.
For the low, low price of $98, you too can let your child kill themselves by improperly using a Zipline kit.
EXPLODING KITTENS FOR $10 AND I MEAN THE GAME NOT ACTUAL KITTENS BUT I GUESS HE HAS A SHOW NAMED THAT TOO?
As a general rule Raven and I don't buy Nerf products because they're owned by Hasbro and we're boycotting them because of the whole Pinkertons thing. Plus, in the world of foam dart guns they're actually doing the worst when it comes to innovation and performance. But! We will get them on clearance or secondhand. I consider Prime Day to be clearance, so have this multipack for a kid's party that I wish I'd had for Raven's birthday party last month.
Also, this translucent blaster.
I love this style of shorts (although I got the viral tiktok ones) but omg this one has POCKETS.
Today I discovered that there is a brand called THE GYM PEOPLE and they make really boring clothes.
Hey plus-sized ladies! Want yet another ugly beige bra? Look no further!
I have one of these mandolin slicers. Highly recommend.
Get your kids used to corporate surveillance with an Amazon Echo made just for them!
THESE ARE THE ONLY PENS I USE.
Amazon putting these under "off to college" is absolutely fucking hilarious to me.
I'm actually really bummed I don't have the money to get this Samsung Galaxy Tab.
Amazon knows what's up when it comes to kids: a five-pack of identical pants. I think it's for uniforms but like. Let's be real, kids just go through clothes like that.
Every time I see a Skullcandy product, I remember when I was at a Skullcandy booth at the Warped Tour and I asked the booth babe how they compared to Sennheiser or even Audio-Technica. She looked at me, and in a snooty voice, said, "I've never even heard of Sennheiser before."
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TWO MORE HOURS 🐸‼ The campaign for the Rani the Froggie Ceramic Mug and Lid sets is almost over! All stretch goals have been unlocked, so there will be 3 different color ways, an enamel pin, and a lily pad shaped lid available for backing. This is the lowest they’ll ever be priced as a special Kickstarter price, so don’t miss out! You can back them HERE. Thank you for all the love!
#Kickstarter#ceramics#frogs#froggie#froggy love#frog artist#frogcore#frog content#lily pad#mugs#ceramic#cute mugs#cute products#products#small artist#indie artist#cute#kawaiicore#home goods#home stuff#cups
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COLETTI Classic Camping Coffee Pot & Enamel Mug Set — Percolator Coffee Pot, Enamel Coffee Mug – Complete Nostalgic Bundle – German Imported Enamel Powder [12 oz, Set of 4] (Black)
Price: (as of – Details) Product Description NO ALUMINUM OR PLASTIC Our 100% steel, one-of-a-kind coffee pot with stainless steel internal components and over-the-fire hanging handle. COFFEE MADE EASY A Percolator Coffee Pot Is Simple, Efficient, & Classic. Brew big bold pots of coffee for you and all the happy campers. TOUGH & DURABLE Built from Heavy-Gauge Steel, Every piece of this stovetop…
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Factory Price Eco Friendly Ceramicenamel Mug
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Buy Blue Mati with Gold Lustre: A Symbol of Elegance and Protection
The Mati, also known as the evil eye, has been a powerful symbol of protection for centuries in Mediterranean culture. Often worn as an amulet, this symbol is believed to ward off negative energy, jealousy, and ill-will directed toward its wearer. While the traditional Mati comes in various forms, the Blue Mati with Gold Lustre stands out as an exceptional piece of both aesthetic and spiritual significance.
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With its growing popularity, Blue Mati with Gold Lustre is now available from a variety of retailers, both online and in-store. Whether you're looking for fine jewelry pieces or more affordable fashion options, you can find this iconic symbol in a range of price points.
Ensure that you buy from reputable sources to guarantee authenticity and quality. Many local artisans in Greece and other parts of the Mediterranean create stunning handmade Blue Mati pieces, adding a personal touch to each item.
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Handcrafted Pottery
Whether you’re looking for commercial products or unique products. Ceramic Pots Our Ceramic Pots are available in various sizes and designs our company provides all types of pottery amp enamel products such as pots terracotta pots handmade pottery clay pots ceramic pots marble pots etc Our Company also specializes in other hand-crafted items for gifts and home decorative. Our Company can even do customized orders of handicrafts made from Stones marbles. Our Ceramic Pots are available at industrial leading price. . We provide the latest, attractive, and beautiful designs to our customers - flower pots wholesale.
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Mosquito-Bulk Custom Printed Ceramic Mugs with Retro Granite Design
Our Mosquitos are bulk custom printed ceramic mugs with retro granite design. This is a version of the traditional speckled enamel camp cup. It looks like the old fashioned tin/metal camp cups. However, unlike them, this camp cup is made of ceramic. If you need a cup for a camp related marketing promotion then this is the cup for you. The low price makes this a great outdoor related giveaway.…
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you seem to be having a bit of a time, so have a picture of the local flock of ducks
Thank you for the ducks.... ;~;
I got up fucking early this morning (9am, I am on vacation for the first time in five years, folks) to do a border run. Wait was 5min when I left home, wait was 45min in actuality. Got the most hard-ass border agent to ever live (spent five minutes forced to explain what enamel is, and he made me take off my helmet to verify my identity, which literally no one there has ever done before, and he sent the guy ahead of me to secondary inspection, fucking Yikes, no one comes back from that).
Got my pins from my PO box, then spent 45min on I-5 trying to remember which exit was the one for good gas. Turned around in Birch Bay thinking I'd missed my turn, turns out I was probably one or two offramps short, so I didn't get gas at a decent price. (4.99/gal USD, which is 1.67/L CAD, which is better than the 2.10 they're making us pay up here, but I know for a fact there's a gas station down there 4$ on the dot, which is 1.34/L CAD if not a little lower, so fuck me.)
Came back up, fortunately it was only a four-car wait coming back (and the kind lady in front of me told me to go first??? What a sweetheart??? I was thirty seconds to get through lmao but still???) and headed home.
But I forgot my laundry for like four hours last night while I was playing RuneScape (if I do another grind session tonight I should finally, after 16 years of on-off playing, be full rune) and my awful bedding requires one wash and then two to four dry cycles, so my big ass duvet that requires three to five dry cycles got put in the dryer at 1am last night. And I was gonna put it back through the wash this morning before I left, And I Forgot, so it's got another half hour in the wash atm and then I'm stuck waiting for it for four-five hours before I can do any other laundry, and I have two more loads that are one-for-one wash/dry.
And I got Trader Joe's sipping chocolate, which means microwave a mug of milk and then mix, and I have a special Camp NaNo mug just for this. So I nuked my milk and washed the cup and... then forgot all about it. So I had to nuke my milk again to make my sippy choccy, which is now lukewarm-semi-cold because I went and swept-mopped the stairs and watered all the plants and turned the pool on.
Now I am sipping my choccy for a couple minutes, checking socials, before putting away my bike gear and starting in on cleaning the shit out of my room.
My parents left Tuesday morning and my brother left Monday morning. My parents will be home in about six hours ( :((((( ) and my brother vaguely sometime after Kirilka leaves in a week and a half, so I've only got a few more hours of cleaning freedom.
And I can't even wash my bike, because it's too cold out, which sucks, because taking the rust off is probably a six hour task because my executive dysfunction is awful. I need an industrial grade chrome derust formula. I have no idea where to get one. I think I have to drag my dad to Lordco for that so the salesfolks don't upcharge the shit out of me. :/
But yeah that's how my morning's been. xD; Thank you for the ducks!! Ducks good!!!
#asks#like don't get me wrong it's been a good day as far as good days go!#but it's also just been one dumb thing after another and I love complainin about the little things#if I complain about the little things (40min border wait and my laundry)#I won't need to complain about the big things (my dad's worsening health my mother's stress my destroyed relationship with my brother)#so a little complainin is good for the soul. this is why i'm ok not having the time for therapy#it goes. the day goes on and so do we
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WS Basics Enamel Mug
Grab your favorite hot beverage and show off your love for weed with this enamel weed coffee mug. This lightweight, durable coffee cup comes in handy on hikes or while feeling the morning after. This mug is made up of enamel material. Find more Weed Coffee cups in our shop!
Price : $24.99
Type : New
Status : In stock
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Hairstylist Mom, Just Like a Normal Mom Except Much Cooler, Enamel Camping Mug, 12 oz, Stainless Steel, Funny Quote, Christmas Unique Gift
Price: (as of – Details) Are you a hairstylist or looking for a unique Christmas gift for one? Look no further! Our I Am A Hairstylist Mom. Just Like A Normal Mom Except Much Cooler. camping mug is the perfect way to celebrate hairstylist pride. Made from stainless steel with an enamel finish, this 12 oz mug is sturdy and easy to clean. Hand washing with mild detergent is recommended. Permanent…
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Cartoon Astronaut Imitation Ceramic Enamel Mugs With Lid
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Mug Blirik Bandung Ö896_6848_722Ö[wa]
Apabila anda sedang menggali tulisan tentang mug blirik bandung, dikau terletak pada website yang tepat. Pesatnya perkembangan teknologi informasi akhir-akhir berikut ini menjadi penyebab positif di seluruh kelompok. Anak perguruan, pelajar perguruan tinggi, ataupun penduduk dapat dengan gampang mengakses wawasan yang dia-dia inginkan. Tak usah sibuk-sibuk hadir ke suatu tempat untuk mempunyai pengetahuan mengenai tempat tersebut. Asalkan bisa terkoneksi dengan jaringan internet, dimanasaja kita cukup kita bisa mencari segala wawasan yg kami butuhkan. Situs berikut ini sengaja kita bikin sebagai menyerahkan informasi-informasi guna untuk kebutuhan penelitian, tugas pendidikan, atau yang lainnya. Pandangan atau saran yg membangun begitu kita perlukan agar kemajuan pengetahuan yg kami ulas Berikut ini ialah artikel tentang mug blirik bandung. Penuh alasan mengapa orang mendambakan pembahasan ini, seperti untuk riset, tugas perguruan atau menambah pengetahuan. Tulisan ini dibikin agar orang - manusia yang mendambakan pengetahuan kayak berikut ini, dapat menemukan dengan kilat serta mudah. Dijaman perkembangan teknologi, dikau dapat menemukan wawasan berikut ini, sembarang waktu serta dimanasaja. Asalkan terkoneksi dg jaringan. Jadi kau dapat mengunjungi web berikut ini kapan saja kamu ingin. Kamu juga dapat menyerahkan pandangan di tabel opini atau dapat mengkontak kami melalui nomor yang sudah terlampir. Gelas sloki ialah gelas kecil yg umum difungsikan bagi oleh-oleh nikah. Gelas sloki pada khasanah tradisional, bisa difungsikan guna minum jamu. Hal ini karena gelas sloki memiliki volume yang kecil yang selaras dg takaran sebagian jamu tradisional yg juga kecil. Dalam perihal takaran jamu yang pula standar, terdapat serta gelas jamu yg difungsikan lagi luas lebih. Lah gelas sloki dan gelas jamu berikut ini terkadang difungsikan untuk sovenir pernikahan karna bentuknya yang ringkas serta tampilannya yg muat estetik. Apalagi ditambah dg sablonan acara yang tengah dikau selenggarakan, menjadikan gelas sloki berkembang lagi personal pula. Ini ialah pembahasan tentang jual cangkir jadul. Banyak penyebab mengapa manusia membutuhkan pembahasan ini, semacam untuk penelitian, tugas perguruan / memberikan tambahan wawasan. Ulasan ini dibikin agar insan - manusia yang memerlukan wawasan semacam berikut ini, bisa menemukan dg cepat serta praktis. Dizaman perkembangan ilmu pengetahuan, dikau bisa mengakses informasi ini, kapanpun serta dimanasaja. Asalkan terkait dg jaringan. Jadi dikau dapat mendatangi website ini kapanpun kamu berkehendak. Kamu serta dapat memberikan pandangan di tabel komentar / dapat men-japri kita via nomor yang sudah terlampir.
Enamel Mug Microwave Safe
Ada banyak perihal yang bisa kamu lakukan untuk menajdikan pernikahan kamu pula mempunyai kesan special. Keliru satu yang dapat dikau lakukan guna bikin kesan spesial di pernikahan dikau adalah dg memilih sovenir perkawinan yang unik. Mengapa kudu sovenir pernikahan. Sebagian tentang anda barangkali akan menganggap remeh, akan tetapi, guna beberapa pasangan kerajinan nikah biasanya menyimbolkan sesuatu pada perjalanan asamara mereka. Sovenir gelas kawin mampu dipilih guna salah satru opini terbaik pada souvenir perkawinan dikau. Walau gelas terkesan sepele, lanjut insan yang mengasosiasikan gelas bagi tertentu yg special dala hidup mereka. Penyebab lain, gelas disortir lanjut insan sebab kesederhanaan bentuknya. Pabila kau sedang mencari tulisan tentang enamel mug microwave safe, kau terletak di situs yang tepat. Gesitnya kemajuan it ahir-ahir berikut ini berdampak positif pada seluruh kalangan. Anak pendidikan, mahasiswa, ataupun rakyat bisa dengan praktis mengakses wawasan yg dia-dia inginkan. Tidak perlu repot-repot berkunjung ke suatu tempat untuk mempunyai informasi mengenai wahana yang sudah disebutkan. Asalkan bisa terkait dengan jaringan internet, dimanasaja kita cukup kami dapat mencari segala informasi yg kita perlukan. Situs ini sengaja kita cipta bagi memberikan tulisan-tulisan guna bagi keperluan riset, tugas pendidikan, / yang lainnya. Komentar / saran yang mendirikan amat kami perlukan agar kemajuan wawasan yg kita jabarkan
#mug enamel bandung#jual cangkir kopi jadul malang#mug enamel price#enamel mug manila#enamel mug lid
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