#much in common with your highschool friends. no hard feelings just people change
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Girl who’s stuck in a time loop but doesn’t want to leave because she’s mastered 4 new languages and many new crafts and is having the time of her life just being able to relax without the pressure of modern society. One day she decides to hang out with her friends because it’s been a quite few loops since shes hung out them only to find out she’s now unrecognizable to them and think she’s pulling a bit. Now she has to decide between leaving the comfort and security of the time loop where she can’t have any more meaningful relationships or leaving the loop and having to start over because she can’t possible continue as things were
#I would fuck in a time loop#I would absolutely love it for a bit#but then ultimately I would become a completely different person and I would have to start over#and there is a very good chance I know way too much about my friends that they don’t remember telling me#so they wouldn’t remember any bonding moments we had in the loop#god I love the implications of time loops#story about the aftermath of a time loop that’s a tragedy#cuz in Groundhog Day it makes sense that when he goes back things are better because he was an asshole to begin with#but just like some guy gets stuck in a loop and eventually gets out#yes he’s definitely a better person now but the girl he pursues and now knows everything about#has to try and live up to all these memories of her where they had bonding moments#all those key moments where she gets comfortable enough to tell him something is set off by the fact he knows already#and she Knows he’s not a stalker she knows about the time loop#but it’s just every moment in their relationship feels wrong to her#like if I was that girl I’d have to break up with that guy simply because the relationship was actually built on remnants of moments that#never happened to me#and if I someone stuck in the loop I’d seriously consider staying simply because I would not want to start over with my life#I’d have to quit my job and probably find new friends#don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t hold it against my old friends but it’s like getting different friends in collage because you don’t have#much in common with your highschool friends. no hard feelings just people change#hell i probably finished my degree while I was in the loops and studied other stuff too#now I gotta go through it all again because I would need the official credentials to get the job I would want#like the girl in Palm Springs is an expert in quantum mechanics#but has absolutely no credibility past the loop to show people#also I’d have a hard time explaining to everyone how I became an expert musician overnight#HAHAHAHAH#the time loop movie I’m watching right now basically has a right of passage for each family member to get stuck in a loop#they don’t tell anyone about though lmaooo
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onlyang3ll · 2 years ago
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hellooo I adore ur blog and was wondering that since ur requests are open.. can you write about rafe being y/n's first boyfriend - maybe they are back from college but went to the same hs
an: hi hope you enjoy this and my take on this request !!! writing on my phone so bare with me! B nice to me pls i don’t like this but i wanna get some stuff out for you all!!
warnings: mean girls!!! swearing. kissing. not proofread
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people would have never assumed little old timid you would ever date big bad rafe cameron. but here we are. first visit back home from college, holding hands walking into the country club.
you and rafe didn’t speak in highschool, didn’t have the same friend group. actually had nothing in common. at least that’s what it felt like at the time. but college changed that. you two had almost every class together.
started studying together because it was easier being from the same place. a sense of familiarity even without being super familiar. rafe was a known d bag to most people. but once you got to know him it was hard not fall head over heels.
“bro when did this happen?” kelce walked up with his hands gesturing to you two, topper was the only friend of rafes that knew of our relationship besides our families.
“bro.. none of your business” rafe mocked him. pulling a chair out at the table his friends sat at, you were quiet anxious because you didn’t hang with this group of people in highschool. they were the ones making fun of you for being a prude or goody two shoes. “sit down, baby” rafe spoke softly.
you took a seat and he sat down in the chair next to you. for a while rafe made small talk with his guy friends, eventually topper got there and he spoke to you more than the others.
topper always said he was so glad rafe found me and that i was the toughest girl out there being able to deal with his shit.
“rafe i didn’t know you were back in town!” some blonde shouted and walked over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him. you froze, you didn’t have to deal with girls noticing rafe at college because it was always just you two and your group of friends.
rafe was never a player in your eyes because that wasn’t the rafe you met and got to know. he took the girls arms from around him, and nodded. “yup we decided to come back for the weekend” he pulled your hand into his lap and rubbed it softly with his thumb.
“we?” the girl asked with a dumb founded look on her face. “we. me and my girlfriend” he stated. she glanced over and gave a half ass smile. “oh… i didn’t know you guys were a thing”
you looked at her and gave a fake half smile back, “yup we are a thing. very much a thing” you spoke up, and rafe just smiled at you. “anyways, top i hope to see you at my party later tonight” you let out a small laugh at how quick she was to give her attention to a different guy in the group.
the girl walked away, “hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom” you leaned in speaking softly to rafe. he nodded, “okay baby, I’ll be right here” you give him a soft kiss and head to the restrooms.
“honestly i don’t know what he sees in that freak. I don’t even think she said one word in highschool” you heard a the voice of the girl that was just trying to talk to your boyfriend, and stopped to listen.
“rafe doesn’t date, maybe he is using her for something. would not be the first time he has done that with a girl.” another girl chimed in, and they laughed.
your anxiety spiked. and the rest of the time spent with rafe and his friends you stayed quiet. the girls comments consuming your entire head. you didn’t want to believe that rafe would use you and you wouldn’t lie and say the thought of not being good enough didn’t cross your mind often.
you were some book freak, virgin when you and race got together. he never said things to make you feel insecure but you couldn’t help it.
rafe could tell something was off, I’m his truck on the drive back to his family home where you guys were staying at this weekend and looked over at you. “you okay, bunny?”
you snapped out of your daze and looked at him shaking your head, “I’m fine, just taking in the sights” you smiled. he didn’t buy it, pulling into the driveway he parked. he got out and went over to open your door like always, and you turned to get out but he stood in front of you keeping you in the car. “tell me what’s wrong please?”
you sighed, “i over heard that girl and her friends talking about me..” rafe frowned, “what the hell did those bimbos have to say?” you shook your head, “they just said how you don’t date and that they don’t know what you see in me” you felt a tear fall from your eye and he sighs.
“baby don’t give them your tears, it’s not worth it. they are jealous of you. fuck em” he states matter of factly. you giggle a little at the last thing he said. “you are the only girl for me, i wish i could back in time and make you mine sooner.” he cupped your cheeks and gave your forehead a swift kiss.
“you mean that?” you whispered. “fuck yeah i mean that. you’re it for me baby. like it or not you’re stuck with me” he smiled. “oh wow what a punishment that is” you tease him. “you know when you get sassy it gets me going, and we have dinner with my parents in ten minutes so hold off on that missy” he helps you out of his truck.
“yes sir,” you wave your hand at him playfully. “that does too” he jokes, and taps your bum gently. “let’s go before i keep you to myself for the rest of the night”
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cowboyjen68 · 2 years ago
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I think I'm mostly just venting about this but I also feel like you have some amazing sage wisdom just like you do for everyone.
My best friend of 10 years (highschool onward) and the last friend I have who is cis just dropped me out of nowhere. He claimed it was because I moved and we were "already growing apart" but I can't help but think it was my queerness.
I recently came out to friends and family as a lesbian (about 3 years ago) and came out to friends only as not cis around the same time. It was after this that he stopped talking to me as much and just generally treated me weird.
I've since moved away and we stayed friends until he dropped me out of the blue. I have no more long-term friends now. Nobody from my hometown talks to me after that as all of our mutual acquaintances dropped me too after he did.
I'm sure it's for the best in the end but I feel so lost not having a best friend, a person who knows who I am, around. Especially with how scared I feel to be in queer spaces with rising tensions, I guess I'm just feeling lost.
I am going to come at this from my experience. High school is such a time of growth and change, friendships from that time in our life can be hard to hold on to, especially with a connection as strong as you feel when you are growing up and experiencing things together in similar circumstances. 
Maintaining a friendship between young men and women can be incredibly different as they start to reach maturity since they receive different socialization and information from both the outside world and from the inside changes their bodies are experiencing as puberty does its job.  
It is possibly just a matter of you growing apart as humans and not necessarily due to some judgment of your sexuality on his part. He perhaps just feels less of an ability to connect with you as time has gone on and even because, as a straight man, he just doesn’t have as much in common with you. When we are younger those differences are less important but as we age and have more access to a wider variety of people those differences can be more pronounced. 
I have kept in FB contact with many high school friends and my best friend and I communicate once in a while but in all reality, we rarely see each other, our lives are very different and we don’t share the connection we once had. I will always call her “my best friend” because she was my first best friend and we shared so many life changing moments together. She will always be special to me. When I came out she accepted me and was not surprised because she knew me better than anyone. The fact is, time has made us less close. And that is okay. We had a wonderful childhood together and spent many years making memories. We haven't lost any of those even as our connection faded and we went in separate directions. 
Even IF your friend (friends) have walked away from you because you are a lesbian, maybe because they feel uncomfortable with you know, or maybe because they don’t know how to relate to you or just because life is moving on the end result is the same. 
You might never know and, frankly, it does not matter. It is pretty common for us to find new friends in each stage of life. HIgh school, college, career, middle age, marriage, retirement, or whatever place we are at. Sometimes we hang on to a few over a lifetime but even those friendships can ebb and flow with time. 
You will find new friends who share more in common with you. You will discover others who are a better fit in your life as you are right now. Let those old friendships organically fade and put your energy into finding new people who are worthy of your time and energy. Right now the change is scary and feeling alone is a terrifying feeling. Look for those who share your values and ideas. It is better to be on your own for a while than compromise who you are. 
I often suggest that we seek other lesbians to befriend because they share so much of the same experiences and foundations we have in our lives. Remember, not all lesbians are a good fit. Being a lesbian does not preclude people from being jerks or from being vastly different from you. Don’t discount a friend because she does not share your sexuality. Judge others on how you enjoy their friendship and how they enjoy yours. But seeking lesbian/bi women circles can be a good focus. When you know  2 lesbians they each know 2 more and on and on. You don’t need to go to larger mixed spaces like bars and pride events to meet each other. Look for local zines published by lesbians, FB spaces, meetup app or dating apps with “friendship” options can be a help. Try your library and see if they have lesbian book clubs and if not, start one. Be creative and keep searching.
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lucysarah-c · 2 years ago
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Since you hc Levi in the Underground as kind of a womanizer, did you thought about who he was willing to sleep with and how was his first time? 🤔
Hi, love! How are you?
Warnings! Mentions of underage sex, Prostitution and drug use.
Mhh well this is all like a personal headcanon, I am never trying to push my personal ideas or make someone feel bad.
I don't think Levi is a person who judges on appearance much. I just think that Levi has a sweet spot for really girly girls 🤣 I had always seen Levi as a really "masculine" guy, the way he talks, the way he portraits himself. So I think that he has a soft spot for girly girls, don't know. I think he would like girls who look well put together or that take care of her appearance. Don't know, I imagine him loving a soft pastel pink lingerie that makes him say "you're a good girl, eh? But you do bad things for me"
But to explain to whom he is willing to sleep with, I think I should explain a bit what my headcanon in the underground is. First of all, I based this on a lot of stories from male friends of mine and my time helping people from marginalized environments to get their highschool degree. I helped older people who were trying to finish school because when they were younger their parents couldn't send them, they were raised on the streets or their parents were in jail and therefore as kids and teens they were surrounded by really dubious groups. You learn a lot about how different people from places that the law doesn't exist on how hard their life is and how privileged we are.
Based on that, I feel like Kenny abandoned Levi when he was around 11-12 years old. Old enough to survive but probably Levi had to join certain groups to survive, in places like that group is the only way to survive unless you become powerful enough to be on your own. I feel like Kenny made him pick up that fight so people would take him seriously but he still needs a group.
Therefore, I feel like teams to accept him probably wanted him to prove he was "a man" and made him sleep with a prostitute. I think this because I have a lot of male friends who were part of rugby teams that for them to get promoted to more important teams they were taken to "debut" because "men play better than boys". This is an insane practice that not until recently was considered normal. It surprised me how many guys were taken to debut at 18 as if it was "normal". Keeping that in mind and considering that Snk seems to be around 1800-1900, I wouldn't be surprised that this was the scenario. So, I do feel like Levi probably lost his virginity like that around the age of 15.
On the other hand, being surrounded by this kind of environment requires you to play the game to survive. So that's why I think until Levi was around 18-20 to know how to look after himself completely and won a certain reputation to be on his own, I feel he probably belonged to gangs. Thinking that in these gangs drugs and alcohol are more common than anything else, I do feel he probably had a really wild teenage years. Plus, in Snk there doesn't seem to be any kind of refrigeration so the only food that could arrive was canned or anything that survived the trip from the farms to down there. Probably, drugs were cheaper than food.
All that together, I feel that in his teens Levi was involved in a situation that practically drags you to behave in that way. I feel he probably began to slow down when around his 18, he was on his own completely and that helped and then he did a complete change of his style of life when he found Isabel. I did a post about it, but I feel he probably felt he needed to be up to the task of raising a girl on his own. He got clean on his own and his sexual activies got down a lot 😅. Plus, I feel like when he began to be on his own, he stood up for the "district" (I feel like there are probability like districts or zones in the underground) he lived in when MPs or people crossed a line. Kind of "I am in charge that even in the bullshit we live in, we respect certain rules"... And that got him his popularity and the girls making lines to get a chance with him. Saying that, I feel like once that began to happen he probably had a sexual partner that it was like an arrangement, a fuck buddy basically. They fuck, they were exclusive but mostly to keep STIs to a minimum but no feelings. Probably a woman he trusted that wouldn't use to know him against himself, like not selling information to other gangs or the MPs.
So, in conclusion, preferences in his teens were probably non haha from 18-24 that he joined the scouts, probably a woman he could trust and he liked how she kept herself tidy. Virginity? Probably a prostitute.
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gaytwirights · 1 year ago
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So like. Thoughts on the yyh live action (spoilers but like. That's obvious)
Tbh. The pacing was kinda rushed and I didn't like the wigs. But aside from that, it was a very enjoyable experience
Would I recommend it to someone who hasn't seen the original? Lmao absolutely not. I feel like this was an adaptation made for the people who were already fans. Certain characters (one of whom was simultaneously my bisexual awakening and my transgender awakening) were less focused on, which would make their impactful moments less,,,, impactful for a new viewer
I feel the biggest issue is that there are so few episodes that they couldn't get a whole series' worth of familiarity with the characters. Kurama's and hiei's big powerups happened in season two, and that's what made those moments so cool. By that point, we were already familiar with the characters (and thousands of filipino youth, myself included, had become bisexual because of dennis), so we got excited when these characters we already loved got cool powerups
All that said, the way they chose to compress the story was very cool. I really don't have much to say, aside from that. It was just really fun to watch all these familiar elements get put together in a new and exciting way. Even as someone who's been a fan since I was young, I was still caught off-guard by the changes and still found myself on the edge of my seat
And on that topic, the emotional moments really hit hard, and are really good at showing the depth of the characters, even within 5 episodes. When yusuke bad to fight his schoolmate, he was trying to get the demon insects out of him until the very end. When kuwabara finally broke the rock, it was because he wanted to be able to defend the people he cares about. The way yusuke and kurama had that common theme of dying and leaving their mothers to grieve (and it never gets brought up again!!! But we appreciate it nevertheless 😌). Parallel of yusuke and toguro had me tearing up tbh
And let me just say, I SCREAMED when hiei showed yukina his necklace. I've been waiting for this moment since I was GRADE THREE GODDAMNIT
And also, as much as I hated the wigs, I really liked what they did with yusuke's and kurama's costumes. The change to yusuke's costume was small -- they really just had him wear his uniform top open, rather than closed -- but it gave him a more 'casual' appearance. He really did look the part of a highschool delinquent, someone who doesn't care about rules or customs (like wearing your uniform properly). And as for kurama's costume, I loved that they used a fabric with a flower brocade for (what seems to be) his designated outfit for demon business. They really went for the flower motif, and I 100% support. However I would have appreciated if they spent a little bit more of the costuming budget on getting my boy a good wig
I also liked what they did with keiko's character. In the original she was just kinda a love interest, which. I mean. Fuck me for expecting a personality from a woman in a 90s anime. But here, there's some rough edges to her that made me think, right, she's yusuke's childhood friend
Another thing I liked is how they did the fight scenes. Here's the thing, a good chunk of the cast are teenagers. And they have to face off against various yokai. Yokai who happen to be much stronger than them. Even considering their shooty slashy boom boom magic, they have to really strategize how they're gonna attack. I really love how they had the characters really make use of their surroundings. Vehicles!! Metal doors!! It was so cool!!
Finally. Effects pretty 💛 there were some gay moments which I super appreciated 💛 but they should've brought a child in to play koenma
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yarrowleef-babbles · 2 years ago
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on one hand i do understand that graduating and ~coming of age~ creates massive changes, and growing up into a new person with new goals may take you away from places and people you knew, and that drifting apart from people you were close to as a teenager is a very very common experience. I fully understand and sympathize with the desire to explore that in writing, to cope with the melancholy feeling and still find some value in relationships that were meant to fade away, and create comfort for yourself in affirming that that’s an inevitable part of life sometimes etc etc
that being said, i can't help be a little annoyed that moving on and away from childhood friends is so often regarded as an inevitable must, and I would just like to point out that most highschool friend groups Do Not go through terrifying life-or-death magical life-changing adventures that no one other then the people they were on that adventure with would be able to understand and like. idk man i feel like that unique and intense experience would make things different
and i get that like. magical terrifying adventures are a common metaphor for tumultuous teenage years. but that metaphor only goes so far because in world this has been a much more significant experience then simply the people you had classes with in high school
so there is unsurprisingly quite a bit of confusion and dissonance when the epilogues/follow ups of such stories casually go the route of "they kind of don't talk that much, you know how it is when you grow up, you just grow apart, it’s a bit sad but it happens to everyone"
like yeah i know how it is when you grow up with katy from home room who you talked about your first relationship heartbreak with over smores at 3am. but not quite as much the person/people you were spirited away from your normal life with and nearly died in each others arms multiple times while you discovered some buckwild magic no one back home would ever believe or whatever???
idk man is this the right stage for setting up a theme of “and then you drift apart but maybe text once a month” because i actually do find it kind of hard to believe such an experience could ever be reduced to casual. it’s weird. this doesn't actually have to be the only option
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Meeting and Dating Andrew Clark
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(Not my gif)(Requested by @mpmarypoppins​ )
(I’m sorry this took so long! It took more work than I was expecting!)
- You technically met Andrew after the two of you were placed in the same class though; since you weren’t in the same social circle, you didn’t talk to each other. Well, you didn’t talk to each other until the teacher was late to class one day; something quite common for said teacher, and the delinquents who sat behind you decided to pick on you.
- Usually, it really didn’t bother you. You’d ignore them and the teacher would arrive and they’d be forced to shut up. But Andrew wasn’t used to that sort of thing and he certainly didn’t like it so when the goons started to berate you, he turned around and told them to shut up.
- They made a smartass retort back at him but did as he said, settling in their seats just as the teacher finally showed up. Throughout the rest of the class, the two of you took turns sneaking glances at each other and pretending like you weren’t when the other happened to look. 
- Neither of you mentioned the event to each other and you’d figured that that was the end of it. And for the time being it was, but a few days later that wouldn’t be the case. 
- Once again, your teacher was late and the assholes who sat behind you began their familiar attempts at bothering you. You caught Andrew glancing back at you, watching to see your reaction; you’d assumed, before he finally turned fully around and told them to knock it off …though this time they didn’t.
- The ringleader of the group made a comeback, turning on the boy and asking “what he was going to do about it”, prompting Andrew to stand up, threatening to “wipe the floor with” them.
- The boy stood up as well, grinning as he made a comment about the two of you dating, and subsequently an obscene remark which made your face turn hot. Before you knew it, the two boys were one the floor, Andrew pushing the kid to the ground, asking if he was finished and demanding he apologize.
- He released the boy after a moment and they straightened themselves out, stumbling backwards without saying anything, hoping to dodge the extra humiliation of saying they were sorry.
- You saw that Andrew was about to say something; most likely once again telling the boy to apologize, so you delicately grabbed his arm and told him it was fine, thanking him for sticking up for you.
- He eased up as the other boy and his group of friends made their exit, turning to you more calm then before and asking if you “just let them do that to you”.
“Nothing much I can do. If I say something they’ll just keep doing it because they get a rise out of me.” You explained.
“If you don't fight back they’ll just keep bothering you cause you’re an easy target.” He insisted.
“I’ll be an easy target but I’ll also be boring. The only way to win is to wait it out and let them get bored.” You replied, turning through your notebook a bit uncomfortably.
“No.” He shook his head.
“What?” You asked, furrowing your brows in confusion.
“No,” he replied. “They bother you again, you tell me. I’ll handle it if you don’t want to.”
- His offer made you smile but proved to be unnecessary as the boys moved seats and refused to say anything to you after that day.
- The two of you hadn’t talked in a few days so it sort of shocked you when he approached you in the hall and struck up a conversation, asking how things were to which you were able to report that the guys had left you alone.
- He gave you a small smile and a “that’s good, that’s good” before going quiet for a moment. You were about to say goodbye until he turned to you and told you about a party that one of his friends was having, suggesting that; maybe, you’d like to go before offering to pick you up.
- Taking your only chance to attend a real highschool party; and spend more time with one of the most popular and handsome boys in school, you agreed, writing down your address for him and returning his smile as he said goodbye. 
- As it turns out, parties aren’t really your thing and surprisingly not his either. The two of you ended up spending most of your time sat outside, talking in the dark and nursing cheap beer.
- You’d been telling him a story when you noticed that his eyes were locked on you. You’d dismissed it for a while before you turned and met his eyes, your story quickly becoming meaningless and trailing off into thin air.
- You watched as his eyes shifted down towards your lips, pausing there before he began to lean in. You began to lean forward as well, tilting your head so that he could connect your lips properly.
- The two of you shared a long, soft kiss before you pulled away, a warm, fuzzy feeling filling you as you took notice of the lovestruck sorta look on his face. The two of your faces lingered close to each other’s for a moment, neither of you wanting to pull away.
“You should probably take me home, it’s getting late.” You whispered.
“Do you want to go home?” He asked quietly.
“No.” You smiled, laughing softly.
- A small smile found its way onto his lips as well before he leaned in again, kissing you with a bit more fervor than before, his hands tightening their grip on the jacket; his jacket, that you were wearing.
- Cliques and stereotypes be damned. He loved you and he sure as hell wasn't letting you go if he could help it.
- He’s been taught to be a gentleman so he keeps his pda light and innocent. He doesn’t need the entire school watching him shove his tongue into your mouth.
- Soft kisses.
- Handholding.
- Temple, forehead, and head kisses. 
- Attending all of his wrestling matches and cheering him on. He always seeks you out in the crowd and shoots you a smile.
- He’s prone to trying to show off and impress you. Taking off clothes, flexing, athletic tricks, acting tough; whatever he thinks will get your attention.
- Giving him genuine, meaningful praise. 
- Shy compliments from him. Sometimes, he gets genuinely awestruck over how pretty you are. 
- He doesn't use too many nicknames, maybe a babe here and there but otherwise he just calls you by your name. He thinks pet names are sorta silly though he cant help but smile when you use them on him; as long as its in private. 
- He insists on escorting you to class. It’s certainly useful, the hallway crowds all but part like the red sea for him and his Varsity jacket. 
- Your books? In his arms. Your entire body? In his arms. Hey, he’s got muscles for a reason; he’s gonna put them to good use!
- Getting used as a human dumbbell. It’s somewhat scary yet fun though you’re pretty sure he copes a feel every now and again. 
- If you ever have any food you don't want just slide it over to him. You don’t even need to say anything, he’ll grab it and kiss you on the cheek before you can anyways. 
- He fiddles with things when he’s bored so expect to just randomly feel him playing with your hair or witness him doing something adorably stupid in an attempt to entertain himself. 
- Playing finger football and other hand games in class/lunch. 
- Dancing together.
- He loves having you right by his side. He’ll literally pull your chair closer to his while you’re sitting in it just because he wants you as close as he can get you.
- Sharing inside jokes and secret smiles with each other.
- He’ll either lay between your legs and lean back against you, his head on your stomach/chest, or he’ll lay his head in your lap and let you mess with his hair. He “secretly” loves when you play with it.
- You usually cuddle with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you. He’s sorta not used to cuddling so it’s gonna take a little bit of time for him to warm up to really snuggling with you.
- He hasn't really figured out who he is yet. He’s an amalgamation of everyone he’s ever had to listen to so you’re gonna have to try and help break him out of that, and become his own person. 
- A part of him yearns to feel accepted and that’s going to cause him to do whatever he can to please you, unless, perhaps, it goes against pleasing his father. It’s just something he does without really thinking about it so you’ll have to sort of keep that in mind since you don’t want to take advantage of him. 
- Going out and acting like idiots, living in the moment and actually enjoying yourselves instead of worrying about what other people think. 
- Being there for him to rant to when he needs. 
- Helping him study so he doesn't fall behind in his academics while trying to excel in sports. 
- Wearing his jacket. He thinks you look adorable when you put it on and will always toss it to you when the weather gets cold.
- He’s hot blooded so if you get cold then just move in closer, he never minds. Either that or throw on the clothing that he’s pulled off of himself.
- Being invited to the “popular” parties, even if you really aren’t yourself. He’s not a big fan of them but you being there makes them more bearable.
- Becoming friends with the members of the breakfast club, specifically Claire since she’s in the same clique as Andrew and you wind up hanging out in the same places. 
- He genuinely likes you for you. You may think that you have to change something about yourself but just know that he loves you either way, whether you do change it or not. 
- He thinks you’re the greatest. Even if other people see your actions as “nothing” or strange, he finds them endearing.
- He’s always willing to fight to figure out what's wrong, pushing you to talk even when you try to defensively push him away. Instead of judging or trying to give you halfhearted advice, he just relates and makes you feel accepted.
- Carnival/theme park dates. He likes taking you places where he can win you prizes and the two of you can spend the day goofing off. 
- Arcade dates but the cool kind. 
- You know how hard it is to strip off clothes and makeout with his layered fucking circus act? Man has on like five shirts at a time. He’s immune to strip poker and pussy. 
- He sorta acts like your father. He’s been conditioned into acting the way he does, behaving like he’s a teacher/parent and telling people what to do, repeating the same dribble that he’s been told. In some ways its endearing, in others its infuriating and sad. 
- He isn't too keen on introducing you to his parents and you understand why. You don’t take offense, knowing that he isn’t keeping you away because he’s ashamed of you. 
- Making sure to step in and ensure he doesn't beat peoples asses. You’re one of the few people he listens to when he’s angry.
- He gets extremely jealous, particularly when he knows someone has a thing for you. And when he gets jealous, he has a habit of getting aggressive; either threatening or full on fighting guys when they don't back off. 
“You don't talk to her. You don't look at her. You don't even think about her.”
- Overprotective; he’s always ready to jump to your defense even when he really doesn’t have to. 
- A lot of your fights are due to outside pressures. He’s constantly under a lot of stress so fights can erupt at any time, even if neither of you mean for them to happen. 
- He just loses it, sometimes throwing an insult/harsh word or two at you that he doesn't mean. After he has some time to cool down he feels absolutely horrible and chides himself for being such a jerk. 
- He might show up at your house or try to approach you at school the next day but its up to you on whether you'll just take him back. He’ll ask to talk to you and tries to offer a genuine apology whenever he’s in the wrong. 
- Quiet, earnest “I love you’s”. He’s sort of shy about saying it but you can certainly tell that he means it when he does.
- You don’t really talk about the future all too much but he’ll occasionally bring it up. He certainly wants to marry you. He’s praying that you want the same and that you’ll end up being his highschool sweetheart. 
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kiribakuficrecs · 4 years ago
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hello!!! im going on a very long trip at the end of april and I'm looking for some very long fics to download to keep me entertained! i dont care what they're about as long as there's no major character death or mentions of non-con. ur blog is a godsend ilysm and you do such a good job thank you so much 🙏
hi there!! i definitely have a lot of good lengthy fics i can recommend to you!
quote love unquote by newamsterdam 
Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”
“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.
“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”
When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.
acceptance and denial by poteto
It all goes okay when Kirishima decides to come out to his friends and it all goes wrong when decides that Bakugou is the best fake boyfriend material.
cause the darks not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops
“Are those soba noodles?” Kirishima asked.
Again Bakugou’s only reply was a grunt. He offered no further explanation—not that Kirishima honestly expected one—as though making soba noodles from scratch at half past four in the morning wasn’t at all a bizarre occurrence and made complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, Kirishima even wondered if maybe he was the odd one here. Besides, he’d already decided it was generally not in his best interest to question these types of things with Bakugou, especially when it was something essentially harmless.
When Kirishima has a nightmare and is unable to fall back asleep, he accepts defeat and decides to study in the common area of the dorms. What he doesn't expect to find is Bakugou, also very much awake, and Kirishima can't help but think that maybe they're both having the same problems with sleeping. If he's worried, it's just because they're friends. (Right?)
the weight of your hand by kamin
That night, to the citizens, the explosions were a jolt of fear at every blast, but to the heroes and the students of UA, they were punches and swings, fierce fighting and loud strength. The explosions were the pulse of the battle, and the power of a boy that would never back down.
One after another, explosions set a chorus through the shuddering city.
And then, suddenly—the explosions stopped.
(In which Bakugou’s kidnapping goes a little differently, and just a few seconds could change so much.)
so take my hand (your life will be brighter) by multiclassmaps
When a stranger shows up at the ice rink during Bakugou's usually private training sessions, Bakugou expects to hate him. He doesn't expect to develop feelings that become increasingly difficult to deny, or for them to help each other sort through their emotional baggage. - Bakugou really didn't like Kirishima's smile. There was something about it that made his stomach hurt, something about it that made it difficult to focus. He definitely hadn't thought about that smile on his way to the ice rink that day. He definitely hadn't.
distance makes the heart grow fonder (false) by dragontrappedinhumanskin
When Bakugo and Kirishima get hit by a quirk that forces them to literally stick together or face the less then desirable consequences, how the fuck is Bakugo supposed to keep his crush hidden?! Well, turns out he never needed to.
-- “Well, this fucking sucks, how are we supposed to train?!” "Really closely?"
perihelion by tauontauoff
Bakugou was a comet, blazing out of reach. Kirishima knew he was stupidly lucky that his furious trajectory went by close enough that his fingertips got to graze the cowl of fire. It was enough.
During Christmas Class 1A and 1B spend a laid-back week learning about extreme environment hero work in the Alps. Kirishima was used to keeping part of his feelings for Bakugou hidden, and had every intention of keeping it that way, but things don't always go according to plan.
fight me by mr_todoroki
Bright red, spiky hair. Annoyingly bright smile. Clothes that radiate ‘look at me’ vibes. Neon yellow tank top with black shorts. And those were definitely crocs on his fucking feet.
Yeah, Katsuki hated this guy.
-
Bakugou gets a new roommate.
quietly by chezka
“We’ve been taking the same way to and from school for weeks,” Kirishima grinned, and then when Bakugou frowned at him he put on an affected pout, tilted his head so that he was looking at him through his thick, long lashes, “you never noticed? Am I that easy to miss?”
He could barely finish the sentence before a laugh escaped his lips, and Bakugou rolled his eyes, hit him with a shoulder a little more violently than necessary.
“You stick out like a sore thumb, broom-head,” he grumbled, promptly ignoring Kirishima's whining about his hairstyle when it started coming, “I didn’t notice ‘cause I didn’t care.”
“And now you do?”
everyone knows that cats are independent by purplepersnickety
Eijirou enjoys his job, working the graveyard shift at a 24/7 coffee shop. His daemon Riot is always there to keep him company, and he likes meeting the early-morning patrons and giving them the best possible kick-start to their day. It's been his routine for about a year now.
Then one day, a grouchy guy with a daemon in the form of a lion walks into the shop in the dead of night, and Eijirou decides to strike up a conversation with him.
punks not dead by wrunic
“So you want to use me to piss off your mom?” Kirishima summarized, raising one pierced eyebrow at Katsuki.
“Look, if you want to be all fucking judgy about it, I take cash,” Katsuki said, dropping his hand palm up on the table.
“Hey now,” Kirishima said, raising his hands in surrender, “I didn’t say I wasn’t doing it. I’m always down for a little chaos.” He flashed a grin, showing off his ridiculous shark teeth.
“Good,” Katsuki said. “We start tomorrow."
sent, delivered, read, loved by kiribakuhappiness
Kirishima E. [6.49pm]: ur okay for such an angry dude bakugou! :)
Bakugou K. [7.12pm]: FUCK YOU!
Kirishima E. [7.14pm]: haha! :D ttyl!
Bakugou K. [7.48pm]: FUCKING WHAT DO THOSE DUMB LETTERS MEAN???
Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: I JUST LOOKED IT UP DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME LATER!
Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: STOP TXTING ME!!!
- OR -
Bakugou's and Kirishima's relationship develops from classmates to friends to more, as told through their text conversations.
flicker by mr_todoroki
He was starting to feel depressed. Life was so uninteresting. It was so mundane and forgettable. He had no one to hang out with besides Kota, his family didn’t even live in the city.
He grew his hair out as some sort of rebellion, some sort of stand to make his life the slightest bit more interesting. But he could already feel himself giving in to the pressure of cutting it. He needed to work to live. Without a job, he’d truly have nothing.
OR
Kirishima never applied to UA, therefore never became a hero.
let’s get down to business by kjelfalconer
Katsuki Bakugou, one of the brightest rising stars on wall street, is in need of a new personal assistant. Again. Could Eijirou Kirishima finally be the one to last more than two months?
Katsuki's long suffering HR department sure hope so.
something about us by bigstupidjellyfish
nothing like being in highschool and having no idea how to deal with emotions
fireproof by inkbender
Four years after a classmate nobody seems to remember is kidnapped by the League of Villains, Kirishima drags an amnesiac hobo he found washed up on the beach into his apartment, attempts to teach him how to adult (with varying degrees of success), and discovers along the way that the line between heroism and villainy is quite fine indeed. Plot-divergent after episode 45, the Forest Training Camp arc.
blood riot by magicallee (alternatively)
Kirishima from a universe with no quirks is mind-swapped with an alternate universe version of himself where there are superpowers.
And in that universe he’s a super villain.
And Bakugou is the superhero who caught Evil-Kirishima and put him in prison.
blindside by drowclericpelor
“You’re the first guy friend I’ve had that I can just like, be friends with. You’re either the most unthirstiest boy ever...” Camie shrugged and made another wobbly illusion appear between her hands. It looked like a sparkly rainbow with the word ‘friendship’ beneath it, accompanied by what Bakugou assumed was supposed to be a twinkling sound effect, but it had a tinny quality to it and sounded far away. “...or I just ain’t got the kinda straw you like to ssssip.”
Carefully, Bakugou considered the strange turn this conversation had taken.
He had never been asked, point blank, if he was gay before. And he honestly had never thought about how he would respond. Lying about himself didn’t sit right with him. But he’d always wanted to wait until he was the number one hero - when he stood above everyone else - before coming out. Though he’d had times when he’d thought about doing it before then and had almost gone through with it once. But being the number one hero came first. It wouldn’t matter what people would say about it then as long as he’d risen to the top.
Bakugou knew his lack of a response would give Camie all the answers she needed.
flour power by wingsonghalo
“I’m telling you now, Shitty Hair,” the blonde growled, “I am not gonna play house with you. We will cart this stupid flour around for a week like the assignment says. But some of our idiot classmates are naming the thing and setting up ‘playdates’ and dressing it and I am not doing anything that stupid. Got it?”
Kirishima and Bakugou are paired up to take care of a flour sack for a week. It would be so simple, except nothing with Bakugou is ever simple. Also Kirishima might be kinda sorta completely head over heels for him.
sunchaser by chonideno
that feeling when you suddenly want to jump off a cliff for no reason but instead of a cliff it’s your best friend and instead of jumping it’s growing feelings out of nowhere
or how Bakugou has to try really hard not to throw everything to the wind, and Kirishima doesn't help
i also have a tag specifically for fics that reach somewhere between 30k-70k words long if you wanted to check that out as well! i hope you enjoy the fics here and that i was able to help, ily enjoy your trip!!! :D 
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strangerlucysfics · 4 years ago
Text
Highschool Sweethearts part 1
Sweet pea x FEM!Reader
None of the character are mine!
None of the gifs are mine!
Warnings- bad writing?
It was a cool October morning. Your first day of school. At Southside high. You have always lives on the
Southside. It wasn't anything new to you. However, you've also never gone to a REAL school before. You had been homeschool for as long as you could remember. So this was going to be a VERY eventful day.
You stepped out of your trailer in your tall boots, blue jeans, and maroon crop top with your signature (H/C) hair, with newly colored tips of purple, pulled back into a loose braid.
You walked to the trailer nextdoor and nocked on the door 3 times. With a warm smile your friend jughead jones opened the door. Fixing his signature beanie and stuffing his face with the last of his breakfast sandwich he stumbled out the door.
"Hello (Y/N)! You ready for our first day of south side high?" He asked as he swallowed his mouthful of egg and cheese biscuit.
Jughead had transfered to south side high and was starting today. It was nice to know you wouldn't be the only new kid but jughead still had an upper hand compared to you. Given the face you've never been to a school before. Let alone the one with a high drug rate and gangs.
You two walked to school talking about anything and everything but mostly about how much of a change it was for the both of you. As you arrived at the school you both walked down the halls in search of your classes.
"I have room 127 for english. How about you jug?" You asked your friend, looking up from the floor for the first time sence you had entered the school.
You had to admit this was scary. Going to a school for the first time- and in the middle of junior year at that. It was definitely intimidating. Especially sence you've passes at lease 3 drug circles sence you entered.
"Oh darn I have room 263 for History first period. I better head upstairs mouse!" You jokingly glared at your nickname. (Given to you because of how you sqweeked when you where scared)
Before you could protest however, jughead was speeding away up a flight of stairs. You looked around nervously, having no sence of where your class was.
You faintly met the eyes of a pretty girl with brown and pink hair but quickly looked back to your gray boots trying to avoid talking to new people.
"Hey are you new here?" The girl asked, walking in your direction with a friendly smile. "I'm Toni! You are?"
"I- um- (Y/N)." You looked up and forced an acward smile. She seemed friendly but your anxiety was getting the best of you.
"Princess is something on your mind?" A tall boy of whom Toni was talking to before seeing you sneered looking you up and down.
"Oh shut up Sweet Pea. Give the girl a break." Toni retorted. Looking back at you "Sorry about him. He's a big softy once you get to know him."
You look up and smile faintly, "really? Him?" You questioned looking up a little more confedent. "Seems like he's just a guy with misdirected emotional issues." You sate with a shrug.
Toni and the other boy laugh at your bluntness and Sweet Peas eyes go wide as you half smile at him looking inescent, completely unfazed.
He composed himself and punches the other boy in the arm.
"Ow! I didn't do anything Pea!"
"Shut up fangs. I didn't hit you hard."
Toni stopped laughing and looked at Sweet Pea glaring slightly, "Ok ok. Before you wrongly kill fangs let's see where (Y/N) needs to go." Toni says looking back at you.
"I- oh! My first class is in room 127." You state looking at them helplessly, having no clue where to go.
"Umm- I don't have that class I think it's by-" Toni starts but is cut off.
"I have that class first period. Let's go princess." Sweet pea states gesturing for you to follow him as he begins to walk down the hall.
You quickly stumble after him catching up to him at the door of your class.
He looks you up and down with an unreadable expression.
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"uh- thanks." You say acwardly, smiling a little.
"Princess? You got a boyfriend?"
Your eyes widen at his forwardness and blush slightly, "I- no. Why?" You look at him puzzled, still blushing slightly.
Sweet peas blank expression changes to a smirk as his eyes meet your, "Good. Common in princess, I have the best spot in the class."
You follow him to a desk in the back of the class, he sits down and leans back against a filing cabinet next to his desk as you sit in the desk in front of him.
The is the same routine for a couple weeks. Just you and pea walking to classes together. Him flirting like he does to most pretty girls. But with you, it was different. You just didn't know it yet...
That was until about a month after you came to southside high. You and Sweets became good friends, sane for you and fangs and Toni.
However this particular first period class was more... Eventful.
As the class goes on the teachers goes on about The Raven. And old story you've read many times. You zone out ignoring the lesson as you suddenly are snapped out of you thoughts as you feel warm breathing on the back of your neck near your left ear.
"So princess, no man, new school..." Sweet pea whispers into your ear, his low husky voice mixed with the things he was saying made you start blushing madly.
He paused and kissed just behind your ear, "You under stand what I'm implying right baby girl?"
And blushed more at his nickname for you and turned around slightly to face him and nod yes.
He smirked at your blush, "Aww did I make you blush princess?" He asked being extra cocky, bringing his hand to cup your face as you look into his beautiful eyes and he deeply looks into yours.
"Be mind baby doll?" He asked lowly as his eyes darted from your eyes to your lips and back up again.
You continued to blush as you shakely reply, "Ofcorse Sweets"
He smiles as kisses you cheek and you melt under his touch.
"Wonderful." He said smiling as the bell rang.
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theyscreamjade · 4 years ago
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hi!! i binged ur bakugo oneshots and headcanons and absolutely fell in love with your writing style!!
i have a kinda specific request, and if you don’t want to do it that’s totally fine!! Whatever makes you most comfortable :)
So, a oneshot where reader has the “gifted kid burnout” syndrome?? like she used to be good at everything, it came naturally to her, and she was always praised for being amazing, yadda yadda yadda. But when she hit highschool, nothing came naturally, she couldn’t do it all perfectly, so she just. loses motivation. to do everything. she either sleeps all the time or barely, and she’s been lectured by Aizawa for her grades slipping more times than she can count. Bakugo is kinda like her pining bestie??and he notices and asks her about it and she just kinda breaks down?? and they cuddle?? i’m rambling here, again if this is too specific or you just don’t want to do that’s totally fine!! Thank you for writing such amazing works tho!! (●’◡’●)ノ
Slipped
I CAN RELATE TO THIS SHIT ON A THOUSAND LEVELS BECAUSE...high school was when I started self-harming and everything just crumbled after that. Trust me honey, it may seem hard now but it’ll get better. You don’t have to be perfect all the time, I’m still trying to break that habit. Thank you for being a Peep! The overwhelming support and everything, I never ever expected this. Thank you so much and I hope this helps!
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————————————————————————————————————————
“You’re failing.” Your teacher said to you bluntly as he stood in front of you. The afternoon sun shines through the halfway closed blinds in the empty classroom.
You couldn’t lift your head to answer, your mind was focused on the words he said without a hesitation. You exceeded everyone’s expectations, you were your parents golden child. You were going to do the one thing that your parents gave up to do. You were going to become the best Pro-Hero out there and give your all.
“I-....I-I’ll do better next time.” You spoke to the older adult as he sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of you. “Listen, You’re at risk of being removed from my class. I’ve given and done the best I could to keep you here.” He explained softly while looking towards your hanging head. “You started off great and now you can’t seem to keep up with your peers..or even in training. Is everything okay?” He asked, showing a bit of concern for you.
Time to put those professional acting skills, you sat up and smiled, scratching the back of your head. “I’m okay! I’ve just been busy, that’s all!” You explained as he frowned a bit. “Y/N, You don’t have to be afraid to tal-“
“I’m sorry, Sensei! Trust me, don’t worry! I’ll be fine okay?” You reassured before standing up. “Those grades will be back to normal and everything will be fine.” You explained, waving his worries away before you made your way to the doors. The raven haired teacher followed and handed you your make-up work. You gathered the items needed before you left in a quick hurry. You just wanted to be alone.
Your feet tapped against the ground as the pressure was intense, your mind ran rapid while you prayed that they didn’t contact your parents. That was the last thing you needed. You sat in the common room’s dinning table and began doing your work. You grabbed your pencils and looked at the rows and rows of work as your grip became tighter.
“Heya Nuggs!” Denki said, sitting down in the chair in front of you. “Whatcha doing?” He asked, leaning over in curiosity. You and Denki were friends since elementary school, it’s crazy how retrieving a dime from his nose made you two the best of friends. “Not now, Denki.” You responded, trying to stay focused.
The overwhelming depression weighed down on your chest as everything seemed to be smaller. “Why are you doing work? I didn’t know we had homework.” Denki questioned, while looking over the paperwork. “Denki, Please.” You said, your voice at the urge of snapping as he chuckled. “Typical, Y/N. Always trying to be the best, ever since we were kids you always was the greatest.” He said as your blood began to boil.
“I guess that’s why you’re at the t-“ “IM NOT AT THE TOP DAMNIT!” You screamed, slamming your pencil on the paper, snapping it in half. “IM NOT THE BEST! IM NOT THE GREATEST! I CANT DO EVERYTHING IM FUCKING FAILING!!” You screamed as your friend looked at you, worried. You slapped your hands over your mouth, gathering everyone’s attention who was inside. “Y-Y-Y/N?” Denki started to say while you gathered the papers.
“Y/N! Wait!” Denki tried to call out while you ran out of the room, shaking as your body collided with someone else’s. You glanced at the person before you continued running. You could feel your body shaking as your worst nightmare was becoming a reality. Your shoulder touched the wall as you fought to keep yourself calm. The panic in your heart was rushing while everything felt a thousand times heavier. Your heart was slamming against your chest before you felt a hand lift you up. His head slipped underneath your arm as he swiftly lifted you to bridal style. It honestly surprised you to see your peer, Bakugo carrying you as if you were a princess.
The sheer randomness, somehow calmed your edging panic attack as you sat on your bed. “You okay?” He asked softly as you looked up at him. You nodded softly and sat your books on the seat beside your bed. “What the hell’s going on with you?” He’d ask afterwards. Though he only knew you for the two years of you two being in school after you transferred before your sophomore year. He’s worked with you and knew how you normally were, the sudden change made him worry, but he refused to let you know that.
“Nothing..” you quickly responded as he scoffed. “Don’t lie, What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked, annoyance starting to show as he sat on your desk chair. You couldn’t lie to him, even if you tried. Denki, Deku and Bakugo were the only ones who could crack you open like a walnuts.
“.....I-I’m failing class.” You stated softly. “I-..I’ve worked so hard, I’ve done my best, gave everything my all and I’m fucking failing.” You continued as tears started to flow from your eyes, your hand gripped your scalp while you sat up. “How fucking pathetic of me, I-I went from flying through every test, being at the top with you guys and I’m failing. I-I can’t call myself a hero when I can’t save people! I can’t call myself the best when I’ve failed my tests! I can’t call myself anything! I-I can’t sleep! I-I barely eat or drink! I-“
“Shut up, Dumbass!” He snapped, looking at you. “You’re failing, so what? You’ll make it up won’t you?” He questioned as you looked down. “Oi! You said you wanted to be a hero, you said you wanted to save people just how your parent did, right?!” He asked as you nodded. “It’s a small drop, you should stop holding back your feelings and pushing yourself and relax for once.” He stated, crossing his arms. “When you fall down...I want to be there to pick you back up, just don’t give up Dumbass.” He said while blush covered his cheeks. His sudden wave of affection was way out his normal personality.
You couldn’t help but smile, wiping your tears away. “Thank you, Bakugo.” You replied softly as he scoffed again, making you laugh. Once your anxiety and mind was back in order, you continued on your work. Bakugo stayed and helped you completed it, helping you with every question. Nearing completion, your eyes began to droop. Your vision struggled to stay clear as your mind declared that it needs to rest. “Oi, Dumbass?” He called while you struggled. Considering it was nearly one the morning, who could stay awake after the day you had?
Your head fell at his shoulders as he smiled softly, watching you finally close your eyes. It was sudden instinct and he just wanted to make sure you actually slept for the whole night, your head laid on your pillow while he laid beside you, his back facing the edge of the bed and the door. While he stared, his vision stayed on you while he admired how cute you were in such a peaceful manner. This was something he looked for, the person you originally were. His mind began to drift onto dream world while you were found in his arms, your breathing moving in perfect harmony.
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minnie-mei · 4 years ago
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What would Atsumu Miya, Toru Oikawa, and Tetsurō Kuroo react to an s/o who is extremely innocent and naive, someone who is very codependent, but has a lot of past childhood trauma? Like their s/o is easy to manipulate and completely submissive to them, they can't really see the red flags.
Yandere! Haikyuu with naive/innocent darling Headcanons
Miya Atsumu, Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Testurou
Yandere! AU
WARNING: Obsessive/unhealthy tendencies, mentions of kidnapping
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Miya Atsumu
Atsumu is fully aware of how easily he can control you and uses it to his full advantage
he doesn't even feel guilty about it all
your passiveness may have been the reason you caught his attention actually
The red flags with him come quick and obvious, so the chances of kidnapping are usually high for him
however, if you don't notice them at all, then he's willing to let you live normally as long as your life basically revolves around him
it gets to a point where you can't go anywhere without him, except to his games
Despite his sadistic tendencies he controls well, he's pretty gentle with you outside of bed
he wants to keep you, and others, believing that you're in a normal relationship
pda and giving you attention is a part of that
but he does strongly enjoy it himself as well, so he sees no problem in this
kisses you constantly to mark his territory in a way
(hickeys are also a guarantee)
He never really let's you hang out with anyone, especially those who seem like competition, so that mixed with his general cockiness causes his jealousy to show up rarely
but when he does get jealous, it doesn't take much for the other person to back off
just that one intense look he does, you know the one
Atsumu can be scary
He wouldn't get to a point where he has to punish you physically
if you disobey him, he'll withdraw from you and your dependence on him will make you stressed and desperate
you'll come crawling back to him, just how he likes
He knows he's manipulating you, but he doesn't really care about the consequences it may have on you, he thinks it's best for your relationship
his world revolves around you as well, although he'd never admit it, and he only gets so intense out of desperation for your affection
His urges are telling him to kidnap you, but he really thinks it would be a sacrifice of normality if he did so
your lives are relatively average, and he likes that he can bring you with him when he goes out
To be honest, he'd end up resorting to kidnapping you eventually (most likely during a transition from highschool to college, or college to adulthood)
luckily for him, stockholm syndrome would set in for you pretty fast so you'd go back to a similar routine from before
no doing anything or going anywhere without him, except his games (where he'd have reserved front row seating for you)
He'd still be good to you through all of this though, and is the type to spoil you when he's in the mood (which happens occasionally when he's feeling particularly insecure)
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Kuroo Testurou
Kuroo, although possessive and easily jealous of other guys, is perfectly down to let you live your life normally if he sees he can handle it
so you having a personality that would allow him to control you without kidnapping you? He loves that
he treats you extremely good as well, and isn't worried about any friends of yours calling out his behavior
he knows this is the best you've been treated in your life, and takes great pleasure knowing he does this for you
He's not one for manipulation, but he does want to insure that you are loyal to him more than any other
he tends to limit your social interaction and alone time more and more as time goes on, which you don't notice at all
he makes you come to all of his games, something you do anyway and don't mind
you make it so incredibly easy for him, like you were made for him
He's convinced you're his soulmate and treats you as such
his red flags aren't too easy to spot, but he once made a minor slip up when it was late and he was tired
grasping your wrist a little too hard and telling you that you were soulmates and belonged to him no matter what
of course, you misunderstood and thought it was nice
You're welcome to talk to him about any of the past traumas you've had; he'll listen carefully and will do his best to make things easier for you
despite of this, he'll use anything you told him to his advantage as long as it makes you stay with him
As far as his intense jealousy goes, he's willing to violent/aggressive over you and probably has in the past (even before you were dating)
he doesn't do it openly though, more likely to threaten someone in private so no one would believe them
he's a scheming person, just like he appears, but nobody believes he's like this anywhere outside of volleyball
he's very dominant in general, and loves showing it
always one for pda and some light manhandling in public, pulling and tossing you around when he touches and hugs you
has to be touching you whenever you're in public
(piggyback rides and holding your hand/waist are most common)
His most controlling tendencies don't come out until you're a bit older, out of high school
there's not a chance of the two of you going to separate colleges, he would simply not allow it
this is when he stops letting you go out with other people without him, or any place that causes you to be out for more than an hour
And you listen to him, like you always do
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Oikawa Tooru
Oikawa would eat this shit up
he loves it
it's all he wants
He's a bit delusional, as well as obsessive, so you feeding into it only makes it that more intense (not that you know or anything)
his tendencies can get extreme really fast, especially if you're so obedient like you are
if you were the type to reject him, that would be the sense of reality that kept him grounded, but nope, that's not you
His obsession would be pretty obvious to his close friends, but only because of his change in personality
he doesn't talk about you too much, not wanting other people to start liking you the way he does
The team sees you often, at practices and games because Oikawa stopped hanging out with them in his free time; he spends it with you instead
like atsumu he uses your personality to his full advantage as well
he's never had feelings like this for anyone before, so he knows he has to keep you
he'd do anything to keep you
Other than the slight clinginess and how controlling he can be, he hides his more intense feelings exceptionally well from you
the only time there's been a particularly obvious red flag was when you caught him threatening one of the girls from his fan club
he later came up with a believable lie to make you think he was just being an average protective boyfriend, not wanting anyone to be mean to you
In your eyes, that was one of the nicest, most loyal things that had ever been done for you
(little did you know that he's done that more than once)
Speaking of that incident, the only one that was allowed to speak down to you in any way, was him
the moment he catches word that his fanclub was spreading ugly rumors or spoke harshly to you
that's it for them lmao rip
He doesn't say mean things to you often, only when he needs you feeling vulnerable
and it's usually not even from him directly
he typically makes up lies about how your friends said something bad about you and no one loves you except him
He devotes all of his time to you
and after high school, whatever you want to do doesn't matter because you have to go with him
He's pretty selfish and controlling due to his past and feeling like he's not good enough
having you with him, listening to him, loving him, obeying his every word
it makes him feel good
He absolutely cannot and would not risk you being taken from him
he'd spoil you unconditionally, keeping you far from other people
you're his everything and he's yours
it's going to stay that way
_____
I was gonna do bokuto as a bonus character for this one but I've already done similar headcanons for him before and I thought it'd be repetitive rip
-Admin Duckie
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animehun7er · 3 years ago
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TOP ECCHi ANiME TO WATCH FOR
It’s sexy time now or in anime terms, it’s ‘ecchi’ time now. After doing a list about some of the popular harem anime out there, why not compile another list, this time with popular ecchi anime. The ecchi genre has been a fan favourite for a long time. So much so that there are special fanservice episodes in anime from other genres. Though I am not an avid watcher of ecchi anime sometimes I do tend to dwell in them. If you are looking for some sexy anime the here’s a list compiled just for you. So, let’s see what are some of the top ecchi anime out ever. You can watch some of these best ecchi anime movies on Crunchyroll or YouTube. Most of these anime are erotic and hot
10. No Game No Life (2014)
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‘No Game No Life’ is a fantasy, ecchi anime. It has been made bright, colourful, and is filled with fan service. I liked the premise of the movie (though it has been done before). The base theme is that you have to play high-stake games to make critical decisions. Thus, this removes all kind of action, bloodshed, and war. So, if you are into that action anime then I suggest you skip this one. Sora and Shiro are one of the best online gamers. They are siblings who are not currently pursuing any sort of education or doing any jobs. Their online game username is ‘Blank’ which has achieved a sort of legendary status. They don’t go out much and feel that the real world is nothing but a lame game.
One day they receive an e-mail which challenges them to play a match of chess. This starts their adventures in another realm where every rivalry and problem is solved by games. The ruler of this world, Disboard, is Tet, who is the God of Games. This system of settling disputes and discord via high-stake games works pretty well for one particular reason. Both the parties must wager something equal in value to the wager of the opposite party. Now, the gaming genius duo Sora and Shiro has got a reason to play games. They must unite all the races of this world to play against Tet so that they become the new God of Games.
9. Kill la Kill (2013)
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‘Kill la Kill’ is an entertaining anime. There are two ways of watching this show. You can watch it as a parody of sorts and enjoy how it satirically criticizes the stereotypical anime paraphernalia. You can also watch it as a common ecchi, action anime with strong female leads and lots of funny scenes. Whichever way you choose you will end up having fun while viewing this show. Though at first, the series might feel a bit confusing and clichéd it matures gradually as the series approaches the end. Ryuuko Matoi is the protagonist of the series. Her father was an inventor. One of his inventions is a scissor-like weapon. It is the missing half of this weapon which serves as the only remaining clue of his murder that Ryuuko has.
With the remaining half of the scissor blade, she ventures out to find the killer of her father and avenge his death. Her investigation takes her to Honnouji Academy. It is a prestigious academy at the top of which is the cold and heartless Satsuki Kiryuuin, the student council president. Four people serve her and are known as the Elite Four. They have been given God Clothes by Satsuki which grants them superhuman powers. Ryuuko tries to fight one of them but looses and retreats to her home. There she finds a rare God Cloth which after coming in contact with her blood latches onto her. This gives her immense superhuman abilities.
Now, armed with power Ryuuko ventures once again to the Honnouji Academy to face Satsuki and her underlings to uncover the culprit behind her father’s murder.
8. Highschool of the Dead (2010)
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The only reason I decided to include ‘Highschool of the Dead’ is that I found it quite entertaining. Mind you it is nowhere close to some great ecchi anime like ‘Shokugeki no Soma’ but it is entertaining nonetheless. It is an erotic zombie apocalypse anime with lots of fanservice. There are some steamy hot scenes in this anime. It does not plan to intrigue the viewers with a complex and interesting plot or relatable characters (though at times you can relate with some of them) but rather let them enjoy a sexy little zombie apocalypse anime. So, if you are a fan of the genre then you might enjoy it.
The plot starts with the world suddenly amid a zombie apocalypse. People start turning into the undead. The entire social structure is experiencing a great demise as humans start feeding on each other. Takashi Kimuro is the protagonist of this anime. His friend, unfortunately, turns into a zombie. Takashi takes the harsh decision and kills his friend before he can harm anyone. He promises to protect the girlfriend of his friend. As they navigate through their school campus they meet a bunch of other students and a school nurse. All of them are trying to escape this predicament. They decide to bundle up together and work as a team so that they can survive this apocalypse.
7. Sekirei (2008)
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‘Sekirei’ is a popular ecchi genre anime and like lots of other anime in this genre, it too uses the supernatural theme. The series has some funny scenes and some over-the-top action sequences. The female characters, who are the centre of attraction for all ecchi anime fans, in this anime are quite pretty and sexy. They are nicely endowed and have voluptuous figures. Though it is common in these types of anime I felt that ‘Sekirei’ was somewhat misogynistic in its approach. It is one thing to make women wear skimpy and tight clothes (which is quite staple in any ecchi anime) but it is another thing to treat them as objects. This was one of the most obnoxious things about this anime. If you can get over this fact then it will become a fun little anime which you can either binge or watch an episode or two once in a while taking a break from your regular stuff.
Though Minato Sahashi is not an idiot he keeps struggling with academics. He tries hard but ends up failing the college entrance exams a second time. He and people around him lose their hope and think that Minato is a failure. But suddenly his life changes when a beautiful human-like extraterrestrial-being falls into his life (literally). Her name is Musubi. She is a Sekirei, special beings who kiss humans who possess a special gene to unhide their secret powers. Musubi brings out Minato’s hidden powers but now he is paired with her to compete against other similar pairs. What Minato doesn’t know is that there is far more danger regarding this than he thinks.
6. Yuragi-sou no Yuuna-san (2018)
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Up next is another supernatural ecchi anime. If you fantasize about sexy supernatural or fantastical beings then you will enjoy ‘Yuragi-sou no Yuuna-san’. There are 12 episodes in this series and each episode is around 23 minutes long. If you have ventured into the ecchi genre after watching anime like ‘Shokugeki no Soma’ then I will suggest you not to hang around this genre much, since most anime are not remotely like it. They are filled with lots of fanservice and buxom beauties and that’s mostly about it.
Fuyuzora Kogarashi is a medium and has been troubled by spirits since his childhood. He has been possessed many times but as he grew older he became more resistant towards the spirits and can now even exorcize them with just a punch. But he is poor and in need of a cheap boarding house to stay in. He finds it quite cheap to stay at the Yuragi manor. The main reason that this Manor is cheap is that it is haunted. But having dealt with ghosts most of his life Fuyuzora has no problem with it and starts staying in the house. The other tenants of the house are beautiful and sexy females. There he meets the ghost of the girl who is haunting the house. After Fuyuzora vows to help fulfil her lingering wish, the other members of the house reveal their supernatural nature.
5. Sankarea (2012)
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The next anime is an odd one. ‘Sankarea’ had one of the most unusual plots. The main character is Chihiro Furuya a boy obsessed with everything ‘zombie’. He is so into them that he even wants a zombie girlfriend. One day Chihiro’s cat Baabu dies. This makes him determined to create a resurrection potion. He finds one of the main ingredients in Rea Sanka’s, a girl who wishes to die, house. After the potion is complete Rea decides to drink it thinking that the potion will kill her. But the potion was successful and when Rea, dies in an accident she is resurrected from the dead thus, becoming a zombie. Though this situation may seem ideal for Chihiro he faces a lot of trouble to deal with Rea.
4. Mayo Chiki! (2011)
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Kinjirou Sakamachi had developed gynophobia, a fear of women, thanks to his mother and sister’s wrestling obsession. One advantage did come out of this though, his body has become very resilient allowing him to even brush off bumps from vehicles. But his fear is quite abnormal so much so that even a touch from a female can make his nose bleed. He ends up discovering that Subaru Konoe, who is the butler to his headmaster’s daughter, is a female. In exchange for secrecy, she promises to cure his phobia.
3. Prison School (2015)
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Hachimitsu Private Academy is a popular all-girls academy until very recently when it decided to let boys enrol. After the first enrollment process, only 5 boys are selected. This puts them in a very awkward position as they cannot converse with almost any of their classmates since they are all female and ignore them. They try to find recluse in being peeping toms. But they are caught and thrown in the school prison for one month. Will they be able to survive or will they break?
2. High School DxD (2012)
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Issei Hyoudou is your everyday pervert who wants to own a harem someday. He enjoys peeping on women. One day he is asked by a girl. Unfortunately, the girl is a fallen angel who wants to kill Issei and is successful in doing so. End of story, right? Wait! Issei is then resurrected by Rias Gremory, a devil, who makes him her servant. Now, Issei must adjust to this new lifestyle and survive in the vicious world of devils and angels.
1. Shokugeki no Souma (2015)
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Souma Yukihira has been working as a sous chef under his father in their family restaurant. He is quite creative in his cooking style and entertains the customers with skilful culinary creations. His dream is to one day become the head chef of the restaurant. His dream is however cut short when his father closes down the business and enrols Souma in Tootsuki Culinary Academy. Now, he needs to work hard since only 10% of the students can graduate. Will he be able to survive the academy and its famous food wars?
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bakulova · 4 years ago
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Being Soulmates In Prison…
Present!Carol X Reader
This is a PT1 of 2.
Hope You Enjoy!
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In this soulmate AU, your world would be all black and white until you find your soulmate. All Carols life she had wanted to know who her soulmate was but never found them because she was trapped in that hell hole. So she’d given up when she was very young. Not thinking anyone would give her world color. She stopped thinking about it after a while. She grew used to this boring black and white world. she heard other stories from the other ladies about them and their soulmates. how lovely it was to see color. Any time she felt that someone was rubbing it in her face she snapped at them which was pretty often. When she got older she grew less impulsive and outwardly aggressive and just glared and gave a sassy remark towards that person. 
When you transferred her whole world turn upside down. Color bursting everywhere when she stared at you in a mini group of cookie. Even in that ugly orange outfit she thought you were the most beautiful person in this whole prison. She stopped breathing for a second. Her pupils dilating. Her jaw dropping just staring at you amazed. At the time she was playing bridge with some of the ladies she regularly played with. They all look at her waiting for her to play but see that she isn’t even paying attention. They all turn their attention to what she’s looking at. You. They all giggle “Carol? It’s your turn” Carol shakes herself from her little daydream and plays but still taking glances at your retreating form. She wanted you so bad but she didn’t want to scare you away. She wanted your attention. To feel your touch. Oh what she’d do for you. At the same time she felt a little disgusted with herself. Why was she yearning for you so hard? Wasn’t she straight? Why was the world giving her a female for a soulmate? Why just why? 
When you transferred you didn’t actually see her so your world was still black and white. When you were younger you always looked out for your soulmate. Not wanting to see the boring black and white anymore. You wanted to see the beautiful colors like everyone else could. Like your parents could. All of your friends had started finding soulmates during highschool. All you had ever wished for was the same experience. To be young and know your soulmate but instead you were just met with the same old boring black and white. After highschool you had just given up. Your parents told to keep trying but you ignore them saying “It’s doesn’t matter” they let it go after that. When you got arrested for drugs and battery on a girl who truly instigated it but whatever that’s when your world changed for either the worst or better. You walk into the common area with a couple of new people, you looked at the CO Ginger for your room number. “Alright L/N C106″ You nod and head over and meet a girl with an annoying accent. “hiya.” She tilts her head and looks you up and down. “I’m Madison but my friends call me Badison” You nod and start setting your stuff up but it didn’t seem that BAdiSOn was done with annoying you. “So roomie what did you do?” You pause and look at her annoyed “None of your business” she scoffs and throws your pillow off your bed. “oops” she starts to walk away but she stops at the doorway and turns around “Watch the attitude” and walks away. You roll your eyes and put your pillow back on your bed “What a child” you whisper. 
The place where you finally noticed Carol was at lunch. You had grabbed your tray and sat down trying to enjoy your peace until Madison decided that she wanted to pour your drink onto all of your food. Of course Carol noticed that sad excuse of a worker trying to bother you. “Badison get over here now!” Badison immediately stopped trying to be ‘funny’ and left with a little mutter “yes Carol” When you looked at Carol you had to blink a couple of times. It was a little awkward since she was staring back. Carol notice that you finally found out and motioned you to come over. You nervously got up and walked over with your head down looking at the beige tray and noticing the color of your horrible outfit. You finally look up and see the table is kinda… very much full. Carol had noticed to so she motioned for Brock to move. You sat down shakily and looked at Carol. She was already staring at you. Never taking her eyes off you as you slowly continued eating. It was silent and kinda nice and comforting till Teng ruined it. “What is she doing here?” She looks between you and Carol. Carol breaks away from you for a second “None of your business” Teng glares at you and rolls her eyes. Then badison adds “So Carol what did my roomie do?” Carol takes another second and looks down at her food  and repeats “None of your business”  Badison throws her arms up. “OK Ok no more questions got it”
Once lunch was over you go to get up but Carol stops you. “No no stay” she gestures for your to sit back down. You comply but you look back down and mutter “What about my tray? I kinda need to dump it…” she nods and looks at Teng “Bust her tray will ya” Teng reluctantly grabs your and her tray but not without spilling a little on you. “Oops sorry” She snickers. You roll your eyes and try to wipe away the spill mark “asshole”. Carol glares when Teng comes back and sits down next to you. “Hey you move next to me” Carol pats the open seat next to her. Everyone looks around trying to find out who she’s talking about. You look around before you notice she was talking to you. You slowly get up, walk around the table and sit down. You sigh and look around the common area. “Whats your name cookie” You look at Carol “L/N” she nods “your first name.” “Y/n” she nods and purses her lips. 
After sitting in silence for like an hour Carol made some ladies come over to play a game. You lay your head on the table and she notice right away “Oh sorry am I boring you?” You shrug “A little” she scoff and says something to the women surrounding you both. They all leave, she turns and tilts her head. “So Soulmate want to not be bored?” You turn your head but still rest it on the table “Hmm Sure” She chuckles “Ever played Bridge?” You shake your head “Alright you’ll be learning that today I guess” After a few minutes of explaining she asks for some of the girls to come back and play and invites you to be her partner. When the game ended and you two won she had asked you to come with her to her room. 
“So Soulmate what are we gonna do?” she asks while pushing back towards the wall. You look around her room anywhere but give up when you back is pressed up against the wall and she is the only thing you can see. “I honestly don’t know. I never imagined I would meet you…” she nods and stares at your face feeling the need to pull you in for a long kiss but she refrained and puts her hands on your waist “Maybe we can get you transferred to my room” You gulp “Then we can learn more about each other” You nod hesitantly and put your hands on her hips gripping them tight. She moans and pulls you in for a kiss. Taken by surprise you gasp and she invade your mouth with her tongue. You moaned and tug at her clothes but before she could go any further with you, you were interrupted by an annoying Boston accent. 
“Gee Carol didn’t know you where gettin down like this” Carol keeps her back to Badison and kisses you once more before rolling her eyes and pulling away and turning around “What do you want badison.” Carol moves to the door to keep badison away from you “I just wanted to talk to you about the cookie but it seems your eating her right now” Carol growls “Request a transfer for me” Badison perks up “You wanna be my roomie?” Carol glares “No never, I want a transfer for L/N” Badison looks back at you who is looking through magazines “Oh ok” Badison looks back and gives you a nasty face and sulks her way out to get that transfer done.  Carol watches badison leave and turns back around “What are you doing” You look up from your magazine “Nothing” She walks towards you  and pulls the magazine out of your hands and pulls you close “I-” “Inmate this isn’t your cell” Hellman stares at you and Carol for a few minutes “Get out and back to your cell if you wanted to rest” You look around confused “But-” “Do you want a shot? Do you wanna go down to ad seg?” You shake your head “Then I suggest you get a move on it” You look at Carol one last time then leave quickly. Hellman of course being the nasty fuck that he is, looks you up and down. 
Carol glares at him “Ain’t she fine. Do you think she could handle my big dick?” Carol rolls her eyes “She’s not yours in-fact she’s mine” Hellman raises an eyebrow “Yours?” She nods. He throws his hands up. “Badison is sending a transfer for L/N” “Wow moving in so fast” Carol shrugs. She signals him to leave an which he does. He leaves and Carol goes back down to her table and doesn’t see you anywhere. She gets up and goes to your room and sees you resting with your pillow on your head. She walks in and kneels beside you “Y/n… Y/n?” she whispers to you and shakes you gently. You groan “ leave me alone, I just want sleep…” she smirks and moves the pillow off your head and moves your messy hair out of your face “Come out to play bridge with me” You open your eyes a little bit “Why I’m really not that good” She shrugs “That’s why I help you” You rub your eyes and slowly slug over to the table. You sit down and Carol plops down next to you and starts dealing out cards. You guys play and play learning more about each other.  
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nelllraiser · 3 years ago
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those magic changes | eddie & nell
TIMING: before nell was yoinked into the hellscape. LOCATION: gallows grove. PARTIES:  @specterchasing & @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: eddie and nell have some much needed post-highschool catching up while a spawn tries to catch them up. CONTAINS: sucidal ideation (eddie’s general disregard for his life).
The Bend, also known as the bad part of town, also known as Eddie’s favorite part of town, looked particularly derelict the day he and Nell decided to meet up. The sun hung low overhead, threatening to swap places with the moon at any moment. Meanwhile, within the depths of the sewers, an especially hungry vampire awaited the transition with rapidly diminishing patience. His sire botched his shot at immortality, making him a mindless spawn but, what he lacked in brains, he made up for in brutality.
Eddie parked outside a stretch of abandoned homes only a few blocks away from the spawn’s location. He took a sweeping glance at his surroundings, but there was no one in sight. His hand slipped into his back pocket and retrieved his phone before texting Nell in search of an update.
[Text to Nellspawn]: It’s 7:46 and we agreed on meeting at 7:45.
[Text to Nellspawn]: If you hate me, say it to my face, coward. ):
Nell crept up to Eddie’s car like a cat, making not a single sound as she ducked below the side of it- for once grateful that she was shorter than was ideal. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she smirked as she read the illuminated words on the screen. In the blink of an eye she was jumping from her hiding spot into Eddie’s window, slamming the screen of her phone against the driver’s side window of Eddie’s car as she yelled out. “I got your text!” Hopefully he’d at least jump a little. Or maybe she’d be so lucky as to get a small little scream that she could mock him for. 
Out of nowhere, Nell popped into Eddie’s peripheral vision and his heart leapt into his throat. He jumped in his seat, clutching his chest with wide eyes. “Holy fucking shit,” he breathed. As he gradually calmed down, his expression of terror turned into one of utter disdain. Eddie rolled down the window, glaring up at Nell. “Hey, could you do me a favor and stand in front of my car for a second?” he asked. “I promise I’ll make it quick.”
Nell practically cackled as she watched the fear very possibly shave a few years off Eddie’s life, sticking her tongue out at him through the window. “Surprise! I could tell you’re really happy to see me. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone look like that since the time I saw a toddler witnessing their first boggart going in on the peanut butter aisle of the grocery store.” Just in case he didn’t pick up on what she was insinuating, she made sure to rub it in. “Get it? I’m comparing you to a toddler. A small child.” Rolling her eyes she took a step back from the car door, giving him room should he choose to open it. “As if your car would stand a chance against me. I’m made of steel.” For a moment she flexed her arms in the classic pose, though you couldn’t begin to see anything past the looser sleeves of her jacket. There was simply something about seeing Eddie that made her feel as if she were as careless as the day she’d left White Crest. As if all the terrible things since then hadn’t come to pass. He was clean- a slate that wasn’t marred by being present for any of the atrocities of the past year or so.
Eddie willed himself to continue glaring at her, but the truth was that it felt good to hear her laugh again. Like most, Eddie viewed high school as hell on earth, but drama class with Nell gave him a sliver of hope to hold onto each day. “You’re three feet tall, you don’t get to call me a toddler.” Eddie rolled the window up and stepped out of the car. “It might take a few tries, but you know what they say about wills and ways,” he said, finally giving in to the urge to grin. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her—graduation, maybe. Those years were more blurs than memories at this point. “Fuck it,” he said before taking a step closer and pulling her into a hug.
“I am not!” Nell stomped petulantly against the ground, not entirely helping her case. “I’m just saying if the toddler stroller fits you- who am I to argue?” Nevertheless her own grin was still bright on her lips, feeling lighter by the second the faster she and Eddie fell into old ways. It’d been..shit- it’d been almost six years, but it felt all too easy to pick up where they’d left off. “Yeah- they say Penelope Vural has the strongest will and the best ways, and no car’s ever gonna stop her.” Her laugh was lighter, less sharp as he stepped forward for a hug, and she embraced him back without hesitation. “I can’t believe you’ve gone soft on me, Carridine,” she teased before her gaze flickered over his shoulder to the nearby cemetery. “So you’re still stupidly bent on getting yourself snacked on in there?” One of the things that she and Eddie unfortunately had in common was that they were nearly impossible to sway once they’d made up their minds to do something idiotic. And she wasn’t keen to watch while White Crest swallowed up the friend she’d only just reunited with.
She hadn’t changed, not from what he’d seen so far. It felt like stepping out of a time machine and reliving a period in his life when the most pressing issues he faced revolved around timed tests and peer pressure. “It’s your fault for leaving me, Vural,” Eddie replied, giving her a tight squeeze before stepping back and shoving his hands into his jacket’s pockets. “It’s not stupid if you film it, then it’s art,” he said as he backed up a few steps closer to the rear door of his car. He turned on his heels and pulled the hand before ducking in to grab his filming equipment. “Besides, we might not even run into anything worthwhile,” he said with a shrug as he pulled the bag’s strap onto his shoulder.
The physical scars Nell had gained since seeing Eddie were tucked away under layers of clothing, always prone to the cold. Thankfully it seemed the scars on her soul had seen fit to fade into the background for the moment being as well, leaving her to freely bask in the warmth of Eddie’s company. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about going to cry in a Subway again,” she joked dryly, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m pretty sure that makes it more stupid, actually.” If this had been six years ago she most likely would have been all for diving headlong into a cemetery, and she’d still do that if it was only her going in. But there was another life at stake here as well, and it wasn’t one she was willing to risk. “Yeah- we’ll see.” She was too jaded at this point to feel optimistic about not running into something lurking in the cemetery, already knowing vampires loved to lurk in their shadows. She’d brought a stake just in case, more than ready for if things went south.
“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it,” Eddie advised in response to her comment about shedding tears in sandwich shops. His hand raised and mimicked a flapping jaw at her next comment. Whether or not his plans were stupid, it wouldn’t stop him. His already poor decision-making continued to deteriorate with each passing day. He told Bex he would be careful but, as much as he didn’t want to disappoint her, he didn’t know the first thing about showing caution. And, frankly, he showed no interest in learning. Eddie’s outlook on life made being alive out to be more of a chore than a priceless gift. 
“You wanna do an intro for the channel?” he asked, digging out his camera. “Or did you somehow become the type of person who values anonymity?” Eddie’s brow raised at Nell as he walked passed her en route to the cemetery. 
“No- I don’t think I’ll be trying it, thanks. I would, but it makes it a little hard since I have something called dignity. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t expect you to be familiar with the concept. I will keep knocking it, though,” Nell teased, that same playful glint still making a home in her eyes. “Wow!” The word was stretched out as long as she could make it last, offense plain to see in the way her eyebrows had raised towards her hairline. “I can’t believe you just admitted you don’t watch any of the TikToks I make for the newspaper. You think I’d be doing that if I valued anonymity?” She still wasn’t sure how she’d managed to land the job, reveling in the pay and benefits for the minimal amount of work she did.
“You’d be lucky to have me in your intro!” In another moment she was parroting the old intro she’d seen on his channel the times she’d tuned in, letting the words fall none too sweetly as she poked fun at him. She was pretty sure the camera wasn’t even out yet- but that didn’t have her hesitating.
“Dignity,” Eddie mused, sounding as if he were trying to dredge up the definition from deep within his memory banks. “You’re right, I’m drawing a blank. Is dignity the reason you got drunk at Hayden Dane’s house party and asked everyone for soap to appease the bathroom demon? Yeah, I don’t think I have that.” He shrugged all the way up to his ears. It didn’t occur to him that a demon actually did take up roost in Hayden’s bathroom, explaining why his house burned down two days later. Eddie knew a lot about ghosts and decidedly less about infernal imps.  
“There’s a pretty big difference between newspaper TikToks and showing your face on a YouTube channel exposing White Crest’s supernatural underbelly,” he replied with a glance. “Most people don’t want to be associated with it. I actually watch your content all the time. It’s… kind of how I learned you were back in town and had been for a while.” A year of radio silence. No point acting like it didn’t sting a little.
At the sound of Nell repeating his old intro back at him, Eddie clutched his chest in despair. “No,” he whined, turning to face her again. “Let it stay dead, Nell. I’m not that person anymore.” The camera in his hand raised in her direction. “Here’s your chance at YouTube fame. If you embarrass me, I’ll get your house haunted.”
Nell rolled her eyes fondly at the memory of the little Bannik that she’d found in Hayden’s bathroom, having been utterly thrilled to stumble across a demon in her drunken state. It had been in the midst of her beginning to acquaint herself with the demon species and portals— so of course she’d been all too eager to find some soap for the little creature. “You’re lucky I was there to appease the bathroom demon. You all would have been long gone if it wasn’t for my quick thinking.” Were Banniks actually all that dangerous? Absolutely not. But Eddie didn’t need to know that. 
“Mhm- White Crest’s supernatural underbelly,” she repeated dryly, still not all that pleased that Eddie had made it his life’s mission to single handedly crack open supernatural secrecy. “You know that’s a great way to get people killed, right? What you’re doing with your videos and stuff?” 
Stepping through the threshold of the cemetery, Nell’s mouth was already propped open to give her next quip of a reply when a chill ran down her spine. Whether it was the product of being attacked from the shadows one too many times, or an actual premonition- she was suddenly quiet. She began to scan the tombstones with a sharp eye, as if something might be lurking behind them. Then...a low snarling sound, and Nell realized she’d been right to have come as Eddie’s personal bodyguard. “Shut up,” she hissed, already trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from, a hand slipping one of her hidden stakes from its hiding place.
Eddie eyed Nell skeptically. “Uh-huh,” he uttered. The likelihood of Nell being right about the soap-loving fiend was actually pretty high, but Eddie didn’t care to admit that. He much preferred giving her a hard time, and the feeling seemed mutual enough to dissuade any guilt.
“You know what else is a great way to get people killed? Keeping them ignorant,” Eddie retaliated without missing a beat. “So long as I try to avoid outing individuals, I’m pretty sure I’m in the clear.” This was an argument he knew well, the beginning of it anyway. People didn’t usually bother trying to correct him once they knew how firmly he stood his ground. They saw him as a lost cause, he saw them as uninformed.
Nell seemed on-edge, which Eddie didn’t understand. As much time as he spent in graveyards, he never developed a sixth sense for danger. Mostly, out of lack of interest. “Yeah, that’s a great intro,” he deadpanned. The sight of a stake made him lower his camera. “What are you doing? Now’s not the time to showcase your Buffy cosplay.” He didn’t hear the growl over his own voice.
Nell had never backed down from a fight, argument, or otherwise in her entire life, her stubbornness and determination matching Eddie’s in a way that hadn’t been fully explored quite yet. After all, they’d agreed on most things in highschool, but as was often the case with the supernatural— things got far more complicated when it entered the picture, and relationships were no exception. So she was more than ready to fire back a retort before another growl pierced the night air, and she shushed Eddie once again. “I said shu-” But her words didn’t meet and end as the spawn finally leapt from the shadows taking advantage of her momentary distraction to begin its attack.
Rolling in a smooth and practiced maneuver, Nell clutched the stake like a lifeline in her hand staying low to the ground as she readied her magic should she need it. “Don’t move,” she gave Eddie another command as she tried to draw a large circle around the spawn with her footsteps. But the thing had taken one look at the stake in her hand and decided to go for the easier target. In the blink of an eye, the spawn had shifted course, turning towards Eddie with bloodlust in its eyes. 
Eddie let out a startled laugh at the sight of the vampire, his usual reaction to imminent danger. He instinctively raised the camera as Nell momentarily outsmarted the beast. Asking her where she learned a maneuver like that would have to wait.
“Gonna have to deliberately disobey that order,” Eddie said once the spawn locked onto him. A familiar surge of adrenaline flooded his system and Eddie jouked to the right, an outstretched hand commanding a small cross to fly from a nearby grave into his grip. He was lacking in the faith department, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off,” he chanted as he waved it in the spawn’s direction.
The raising of his camera wasn’t lost on Nell, and she shook her head in disbelief as the spawn tore after Eddie. Really? Even now Eddie was trying to get a shot? “You can’t upload a video if you die, dumbass!” Nell yelled, already hot on the spawn’s trail while it flew after Eddie like a bat out of hell. Which...wasn’t actually all that terrible a description of the lesser vampire when Nell thought about it. At least her friend had enough sense to arm himself with some religious memorabilia, though the spawn had yet to spot it while being far too intent on having its next meal.
The creature was faster than Nell could have ever been without a hunter gene or otherwise, but thankfully she had her own tricks up her sleeve. Casting one of her oft-used spells when it came to fighting, her speed was instantly buffed, and she became a blur even quicker than the spawn. The burst was enough to get her on top of the spawn and send herself barreling into the side of it, trying to find purchase with her stake. She was by no means all that large of a projectile standing at only 5’2 and having a slight build, but the momentum she’d gathered was enough to shoot the spawn off its path. The spawn was quick to recover, snapping at the hand that held her wooden point and clamping its jaws down on her wrist. With a curse falling from her lips, the weapon was forced out of her hand. 
“What the fuck?” Eddie exclaimed when a Nell-sized blur collided with the vampire. Questions piled up, giving him a reason to outlast the encounter. The spawn recalibrated with deadly quickness, and blood subsequently flowed from Nell’s wrist. As much as Eddie liked to pretend situations like this fit his laissez faire narrative, he couldn’t stand idly by while someone he cared about bled for his mistakes.
His camera hit the ground while his feet carried him to Nell’s side. With little regard for his own wellbeing, Eddie pressed the cross to the side of the spawn’s head. It sizzled against the wrinkled skin, sending the creature reeling backwards with a shriek.
“You dropped this,” Eddie said breathlessly as he floated the stake to Nell’s uninjured hand, hoping she would take hold of it. He stayed next to her, holding out the cross to hopefully keep the beast at bay long enough for Nell to plan out her next move. But it looked hungry and Eddie couldn’t imagine it had much patience.
Nell grimaced while she did her best to ignore the injured wrist, giving Eddie a grateful nod as she caught the stake he’d floated in her direction. She couldn’t deny that she was enthralled by the encounter with the spawn, and she would have been enjoying herself even more if Eddie hadn’t been involved in the crossfire. Not for the first time, she felt like she was back in the Ring, fighting for her life and the winnings of those who’d bet on her. She couldn’t deny that she missed the rush of battling for her life, and the roar of the crowd. 
The cross move had been smart on Eddie’s part, and Nell supposed she should at least count herself lucky that he knew enough to know what had the ability to ward off vampires. “Just go-” she began to say, unwilling to risk Eddie’s life any further. She didn’t wait to see if he’d obeyed, once again rushing forward with a speed she shouldn’t have possessed. The stake in her good hand plunged forwards through the spawn’s chest, but her efforts were fruitless beyond making the creature even angrier. At the last second it’d darted to the side, shifting just enough for the point to miss its heart.
With a growl of frustration, Nell decided she was done with trying to hit a moving target. She kicked a leg into the air to hook it behind the thing’s head, using her momentum to swing herself up by the crook of her knee until she’d sat herself on the spawn’s shoulders, hands placed on either side of its head. “Just gotta bring the inside out,” she reminded herself as she gripped her magic tight. She could feel it’s sludge-like blood responding to her will as it’s head began to fill with more than it could hold. Pulling her hands from the creature’s head, she tugged on the blood she’d pooled, bursting the spawn’s head in an explosion of brains and viscera. With the remains of the spawn painting her front, she slipped from it’s twitching body, catching her breath while she looked to see where Eddie might have gone. 
Nell told him to go, but Eddie couldn’t look away, let alone move. She climbed the vampire with precision and put a bloody end to it. He went momentarily slack-jawed. “What the fuck?” he breathed, sounding like a broken record. Eddie trudged towards Nell, remembering a final obstacle stood between him and the answers he wanted so badly. He placed the cross in his back pocket, making a mental note to return it to its rightful grave before they left, and reached out for her injured wrist.
“Can I take a look at it?” he asked timidly, wanting to make up for the harm he caused her. “Or do you have some kind of spell for that, too?” He eyed her curiously, fine with either answer. If she had a handle on her blood loss, he would need to figure out a new way to make tonight up to her, but he could work with that. “I think the best I can do is a band-aid, anyway.” He offered her an apologetic shrug.
Nell fixed Eddie with a disapproving look the moment she realized he hadn’t actually moved an inch since she’d told him to leave. “You know- usually the best way not to get killed is to listen to me.” Mindlessly, she let him take her wrist, not entirely having expected him to ask for it, but offering it nonetheless. Her head tilted in amusement as he mentioned spells, realizing he’d already pegged what was going on. “You mean you’re not buying the whole- I just got really buff after highschool or something like that?” To be fair she had gained more muscle, but it was of a leaner make than anything a bodybuilder might have. 
“Well- it’s not really...a spell but-” As he eyed her wrist she willed the blood to clot where the skin had been broken, once again flexing her bloodkinesis as the wound scabbed over. “I can just do that for the most part. I never really learned a lot of healing.” She gave him a smile anyway, coming down from the high of the kill slowly but surely. “You can still put a band-aid on it though, if you want,” she teased, though thankful for his concern.
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” Eddie replied flippantly. For Nell’s sake, he kept his indifference towards death light-hearted. Whichever way the wind blew, Eddie didn’t mind much. Either he lived another day, or he didn’t. In his opinion, both options seemed eerily similar. “We can play pretend, if you want, but I’d rather pick your brain about magic.” He knew another spellcaster, Bex, but she didn’t seem as advanced as Nell. “God, how did it take me this long to figure it out?”
Nell healed herself, in a sense, and Eddie’s eyes widened with delight. “So cool,” he said, catching her gaze again. “You don’t have to coddle me. I get it, you’re all tough and scary now. Way beyond band-aids.” As he spoke, he meandered back to the grave he’d stolen from and returned the cross with a quiet apology. Ghost or not, they deserved more respect than he’d given them. 
Returning to Nell, Eddie knew better than to think they’d walk back to his car without a good lecture. “I’m fully prepared to be scolded now, by the way. Hit me with your best shot.”
Eddie might have thought his jokes about dying were landing decently, but Nell’s face didn’t so much as twitch into a smile as he spoke the words. After the last year...after the last six years she knew that death wasn’t a joke. She supposed it made sense that Eddie would have a skewed vision of it as a medium, but that didn’t mean she had to encourage him. Maybe he’d feel differently if he’d watched someone he loved die, woken up covered in her blood with her headless body lying next to him on the ground. Shaking her head to dispel the dark memory, she simply sent him another stern glare. “No fun in dying, really.” She wasn’t going to entertain his frivolity when it came to his life. But magic was easier to talk about, and something that wasn’t tainted by her trauma. Her voice grew lighter again, curious to know what he himself was curious about. “Sure- what do you wanna know? Or how much do you know already? It probably just took you so long cause you couldn’t see around your giant hair,” she teased, leaning on an old laugh. 
Another little smile crossed her face while she watched his reaction to the magic, always thinking it endearing the reactions of those who were less acquainted with it. “Actually I’ve always been scary and tough, thank you very much,” she joked with a wrinkle of her nose— even though she’d gotten in more than her fair share of fights in highschool. 
Picking up his busted camera from the ground, Nell thumbed some dirt from it’s lens before taking a closer look, trying to figure out if a simple repair spell might have it back in working condition. He’d asked for a lecure, and she was left wondering when she’d become the kind of person who doled them out. “This isn’t a game, Eddie,” she began seriously. She should have known the levity of the start of the evening wouldn’t last. Not in a place like White Crest. “You can’t just waltz into supernatural infested areas without protection. And you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.”
Nell didn’t laugh, but that was nothing new. Eddie understood that most people took death more seriously than he did, and he knew they had their reasons. On the other hand, their solemnity didn’t invalidate his indifference. He preferred not caring, it made life easier. The subject-change suited him just fine, however. “The conditioner I use doesn’t help either, eats at the brain cells, y’know,” he said, going along with her joke. “I’ll be honest, I don’t know much. Magic’s fascinating, but I’ve always been satisfied with the whole telekinesis thing, so I didn’t do much digging. So, feel free to talk to me like I’m an idiot, not that you need my encouragement,” he teased.
“Taking on a vampire is a little different than maiming Cindy S,” he playfully corrected her. Eddie knew Nell had never been a push-over, but this was groundbreaking as far as he was concerned.
As expected, she provided words of warning. He nodded along absently, his eyes fixed on the camera in her hands. If he kept up at this rate, he wouldn’t be filming for much longer, anyway. Lack of equipment meant lack of content. “And, why is that?” he asked curiously when she finished bending his ear. He figured he knew the reason, or at least the jist, but he wanted to give Nell the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, her reasoning wouldn’t be as boring as everyone else’s.
“We both know that’s a lie because you don’t have any brain cells to eat,” Nell commented dryly, wishing they could have stayed in the sun of their earlier conversation, the lightness of it having been reminiscent of simpler days. But these weren’t simpler days anymore, and apparently the spawn and whatever bullshit this town would toss out next hadn’t wanted her to forget that for more than the half an hour it’d taken for her and Eddie to get here and get into the cemetery. “You know telekinesis is basically just another form of magic,” Nell supplied, remembering saying something similar to Blanche. An ache of longing shot through her as she thought of her best friend, wishing they could be physically closer, but knowing that Whtie Crest had essentially sapped the flush from her friend’s cheeks, and the joy that was meant to color them. “It’s cool you can work with it though since not all mediums can.” She assumed he knew as much. “But magic…it’s built on a few core things...intention, will, focus…” She didn’t know if this was the best place for the conversation the more she looked around. For all they knew there could be another spawn lurking, or a fully fledged higher vampire who was thirsty. “We should talk about this somewhere else, though.” 
“Cindy S fucking deserved it,” Nell joked in reply, honestly having half forgotten the way she’d broken the snotty girl’s nose while in highschool until Eddie brought it up. “And she was already halfway to being a bloodsucker with the way she acted.” 
Nell’s annoyance grew as he seemed more preoccupied with the camera than herself. “You’re not even pretending to listen,” she accused, the displeasure plain in her voice. “Because you’re either gonna end up dead or have someone else end up dead or get hurt.” She waved her wrist as a reminder, not above using it in a moment like this. “And maybe you don’t mind being a ghost, but it’s not fucking fun for the people who care about you.”
Hearing Nell refer to something he possessed an innate knack for as ‘magic’ brought a grin to Eddie’s face, a grin that grew larger when she called attention to how rare of a gift it was. Telekinesis wore him out more often than not. Even now, he felt the dull throb of an oncoming headache making itself known. But, despite the pain and exhaustion, Nell’s opinion made him feel proud. “Yeah, it can be a little tricky,” he admitted, thinking back to Willow propelling him across her living room. “Right, right, totally. Time and place, I gotcha.” Eddie wouldn’t have minded loitering in the cemetery until daybreak, but Nell was the one recovering from a vampire bite.
“Yeah, well, all busting her face accomplished was convincing her parents to let her get a nose-job.” Eddie pursed his lips at the resurgence of long-ignored memories. Present day left a lot to be desired, but nothing could convince him to relive high school. 
Eddie opened his mouth to assure Nell he usually went on these adventures alone, but her next comment caused him to immediately slam his jaw shut. His brows knitted together as he considered her. He wanted to argue, to insist that no one cared about him enough for it to matter. He would’ve used her as an example, calling attention to how long it took her to reach out to him. If people cared so much, they would act like it, and he wouldn’t feel so alone. But, admitting to feeling that way would’ve made him sound pathetic.
“I’m not gonna die, don’t be so dramatic,” he said, turning away to start walking towards his car. “I’ll try to be more careful.” Eddie hoped she wouldn’t call his bluff. “Do you need a ride?” he asked over his shoulder, eager to change the subject.
“A new nose job, and the satisfaction of leaving me and my friend alone,” Nell jokingly corrected. Cindy had been one of the ones to make fun of Blanche and the way she seemingly spoke to herself at times when addressing a ghost. She wasn’t necessarily proud of the temper she’d had in highschool, and referring to it as past tense was most likely generous— but she liked to think she’d improved from the even more violent youth she’d been. Besides, she’d break someone’s nose for Blanche any day. 
“You don’t know that,” Nell rebutted instantly, still annoyed at how lightly Eddie seemed to be taking everything. “You know White Crest loves to eat people up and spit them out.” How many people had gone missing or been killed in their highschool class alone? Too fucking many. Perhaps she was leaning a little too hard on her personal feelings when it came to the matter, tired of watching people she cared about die, but if it made Eddie live another day she wasn’t opposed to tough love. “There’s a thousand and one things out there that could kill you, and you’re throwing yourself at all of them. I’m not being dramatic.”
After years of separation, Nell couldn’t tell if his words of being more careful were sincere or something he’d said to placate her, but she figured this was another conversation they shouldn’t have in the middle of the cemetery with beasts potentially lurking in the shadows. “I’m not done with you,” she clarified, not wanting him to think he’d gotten out of this. “But I’ve got my bike that I need to take home. Thanks for the offer, though.”
White Crest’s history didn’t bother Eddie. He coped with his surroundings by romanticizing how capricious the town was rather than fighting against the inevitable. When people questioned him, he often wondered what made them so certain they knew how he should live his life better than he did. Whatever it was had yet to be explained to him in understandable terms. He didn’t want to argue with Nell anymore.
“I said I’ll try to be more careful,” he reiterated.
Eddie stopped when Nell politely turned down his offer and turned to face her. It only felt right to pay proper attention to their goodbye. “Don’t mention it,” he deflected. “It was good seeing you again, Nell. Fingers crossed, next time will be a little cozier.”
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horrorofthebeast · 4 years ago
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hey gaia, is there any particular information about schizophrenia youd want non-schizophrenics to know? or any things you know of that would be good for non-schizophrenics to read / watch / etc to learn?
Schizophrenia symptoms are divided into two parts: positive and negativethat doesnt mean the positive are actual good things to experience, it just means something is added(positive symptoms) and one is taking away(negative symptoms).
you can look these up easily but i want to focus on symptoms or the results of symptoms that arent usually associated with schizophrenia
echolalia (i do this A LOT): repeating a word or phrase that you just heard
echopraxia: reflecting gestures seen  (like echolalia but with movement instead)
low motivation and bad memory = worst you have ever seen me. its hard enough to make me do stuff. but if i put it off until “later” i will NOT remember it, or i will and ill just keep putting it off til the end of time. sadly this applies to hygiene, not just homework, cleaning or things that have been added to your day. its embarrassing but i would rarely take showers in highschool. i would “fake” take a shower for my parents. i still have trouble with my room’s cleanliness and brushing my teeth.
lots of adhd experiences can be applied to schizophrenia due to the close proximity of symptoms. i was diagnosed with adhd before my schizo diagnosis, i do not have adhd.
not all schizophrenics have hallucinations, you do not need to have hallucinations to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, there are a lot more symptoms but hallucinations arent the hallmark.
we have trouble feeling emotions or the correct emotions. its hard for me to explain at the moment but it feels like “where did they go?”. inappropriate emotions may be attributed to the disconnected thoughts.. example: people will see me laughing/smiling big for no reason but it’s because im having a conversation about “spaghetti popcorn” in my head (which made me laugh a bunch when i worked at AMC). so like its not inappropriate to me, but to other people
the phenomena of thoughts being “taken” from our heads. it’s a pretty common thing in schizo, the “taken away” part. because it DOES feel like someone took it away from you because you JUST  had it. 
being TOO CLOSE to media. some schizophrenics will get way into the story (due to our trouble to tell what is reality) and even think they are the main character or they’re friends with all the characters in the movie/comic/show/story/etc. an example i have was when i played drv3.i didnt kow it but i was WAY too absorbed in the game mentally. when i learned kaede was going to die i started geting very anxious and desperate, i sobbed for about a whole hour or 2 about it. i couldnt get over it. listening to clair de lune would make me cry all the time until maybe a year passed.
Grandiose delusions, basically they think theyre very important to the world or they think they have powers. (i used 2 think i had luck powers but i still feel like ill make a big change to the world one day bc i feel like im a really important person). they arent talked about much, i dont think, but theyre really easy for people to make us seem evil and crazy because of it :/
this is all i can think of rn that doesnt seem like obvious symptoms to noskies i hope this helped, anyone is allowed to ask me further questions
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nissakii · 4 years ago
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5 sad truths that made Horimiya so relatable [spoilers!]
Horimiya has ended but not the feelings that the winter season left behind for us.
As Horimiya has been a topic lately on our blog with Nissa’s quote analysis and one of my latest breakfast anime reviews, this time we are going to look how the anime actually impacted us.
The anime which did really well and gave us a refreshing and out of the ordinary romance story compared to other series, had a lot more to give than simple romantic relationships and wholesome moments.
Why is Horimiya so relatable?
Why does it differ from other anime in this aspect especially considering relationships and romance?
In today’s blogpost we will cover those questions, with 5 sad truths that made Horimiya so relatable.
Please be aware that this post will contain spoiler, read at your own risk.
1. Hiding a part of yourself
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With the first sad truth we shall start and it’s something we also see in the very beginning of the anime, actually it is the whole start of the plot and how it unfolds.
As we see, especially our two main characters have a drastic change in behaviour, in Miyamura’s case even appearance, when they are both alone. None of them want other people to know about their other side.
We see why they do not want that secret to be exposed, with each character having a justified reason.
And not only Hori or Miyamura, also Yoshikawa, Ishikawa, Remi, Sengoku and most other characters in the series are hiding a part of themselves which makes you wonder what would they think if they ever saw this side of me?
In Yoshikawa’s case when she was obviously jealous as Kono made her romantic approach on Ishikawa, realizing most of the things she wants but does not speak out loud are not in her grasp and if she decides that she wants something it is already gone. Not her jealous feelings seem like a different side, since every human has those feelings which are normal if treated in a proper way but also the way Yoshikawa acted out those feelings as she herself mentioned that she was disgusted by herself doing things behind the scenes to avoid that Kono would come closer to Ishikawa, a side that only she knows since she hides those feelings deep inside of her. Nobody would have known that she hid the fact that she wasn’t actually dating Ishikawa or that she purposely said mean things in that sense, since the Yoshikawa everyone knows is energetic and happy-go-lucky.
But it’s not limited to Yoshikawa, beside the main characters we also have Sengoku who is also hiding his cowardly self, scared of most things and not as amazing as he seems to be. A side that only Remi knows and secretly loves about him as she mentioned that he started to change toward the end of the anime but that she loves both the new and old Sengoku, yet he tries to be much more manlier and strong for Remi without Remi asking for it.
The latter also hides many things she could have said to Sengoku, many of her feelings and the way she acts when alone or around Sengoku and Kono, who knew her for a long time now look past her cute and happy act, Remi is a very smart and observant person who is not unaware of the things happening around her it is quite the opposite in fact.
All of those characters have a side they do not want to expose, as it is human nature that we adapt to the environment around us and put on the facade or personality we need to distinguish between work, school, friends, family and more.
The sad reality is that sometimes we even lie to those around us, those who are close and maybe like Remi or Yoshikawa just cannot express the true feelings that we are desperately hiding inside of us waiting for somebody to notice, that is hiding a little part of yourself that nobody shall ever see.
2. The past that haunts
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It is nothing new to hear that we should leave the past behind us and just focus on the future ahead, or use the past to learn from it and correct our mistakes to step into a new light.
But that is easier said than done and that very example is represented in two characters especially: Miyamura and Tanihara.
Apart from their connection and the past they
overcame becoming closer, leaving their dispute behind there is still a conflict that each of them are fighting on their own respectively.
Miyamura, whose present self is no longer the same as he was in middle-school, learned how to interact with those around him, considering people as friends and even getting himself a girlfriend who he cherishes dearly as she does the same in return. Still there is never an episode where he doesn’t think back of the past or get anxious about it, even in the opening we see the correlation of Miyamura’s past haunting him until his graduation day of highschool, obstructing him to be truly happy despite the fact he overcame the difficulties and made friends with Tanihara who was one of his problems in middle-school as well.
Nissa wrote a whole analysis on that, if you are interested check it out, I won’t go much deeper into that topic here.
We also have Tanihara who seemed to hate Miyamura, but we also see that he is not just living his life as if nothing happened but still let’s the past replay in his head. He used to bully Miyamura and tried to continue that when he saw him in highschool as he was walking with Hori but due to some events both of them became more involved and started to hang out as friends after talking it out. Tanihara still used to dream about the incident that happened in middle-school and was even frustrated why he was actually bullying Miyamura in the first place as he simply didn’t like him for no apparent reason. He is aware that the things he did to Miyamura were in no way justified and doesn’t know where to start to redeem himself, or how he should apologize to him causing him to have nightmares and being scared to encounter Miyamura in some cases (also due to seeing Hori being a threat he considers both of them dangerous).
In our lives we cannot always do things right, leading us to mistakes towards ourselves but also towards others. Sometimes other people can forgive what we cannot forgive ourselves, as the past is nothing that can be overcome overnight. We struggle with ourselves to become a better person in the future.
But simply letting the past go even when we are now at a better place, Miyamura and Tanihara show us, it’s not that easy to just pretend the past never happened.
3. To be liked is a matter of heart
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Another thing that we often experience in our lives is that no matter how good or nice we are, people simply cannot fall in love with us, or like us in a way or another.
Winning someone’s heart can take some time, but in some cases no matter how hard we try it just doesn’t spark or click.
“A matter of heart”, as we can say since some things cannot be solved by logic or forcing kindness on a person.
In Horimiya again this parallel is represented by Kono Sakura, who has a crush on Ishikawa after an encounter.
Kono being a quiet, cute, reserved and responsible person who cares dearly about the people around her is in no way not appealing, on the contrary even Sengoku mentioned that the ones who rejected her was simply dumb/blind to not see the good qualities in her.
But Ishikawa as well who used to like Hori for a very long time was rejected by her not because he was someone bad, but since she was simply not interested in him romantically while as friends she also cherishes him dearly.
As Kono started her pursuit of giving Ishikawa sweets and becoming more bold when it came to her indicating her feelings for him, at the same time Yoshikawa and Ishikawa started to become more aware of their own feelings for each other.
With Kono still being adamant to confess her feelings, being true to herself and make it clear that she likes Ishikawa, Ishikawa himself mentions that she is a nice girl, she is good in baking and more compared to Yoshikawa, but the one he is interested in in the end is Yoshikawa.
Sometimes we cannot help who we love and like, and sometimes even when we dislike someone but cannot grasp why despite trying our best to like them it’s still a matter of heart and feeling who we like.
No matter if one person seems like the better choice in other people’s eyes.
4. Loneliness is a hidden pain
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Loneliness is a big topic in Horimiya, even visually we see that feeling being represented with colors and auditory with a representative sound.
A feeling so familiar yet strange, a feeling that every human experienced at least once in their life.
But despite loneliness that can be detected in some cases most of the time people struggle with it deep inside nobody aware of the hidden pain tugging inside.
We get to see a variation of loneliness that the characters carry with them.
Hori being the oldest sibling and with her parents always away due to work, grew up becoming rather independent and relying on herself. When she fell ill for the first time we get to see her vulnerable side as she was struggling with that deep-rooted loneliness since her childhood, when her parents didn’t even give her the special time back then so for her it was common to be alone until Miyamura was there for her and suddenly the loneliness that she subconsciously tried to push away gushed out of her.
With Miyamura we have someone who was lonely from the very start, not in a sense like Hori was since she still had friends who surrounded her but Miyamura didn’t have anyone around. The feeling of loneliness was so familiar to him that he never considered what it would feel like to have many people around before meeting Hori, as Shindou was his only friend in middle-school and they aren’t able to meet that frequently since they attend different highschools. Miyamura struggled with constant loneliness and even deceived himself that it wouldn’t bother him anymore if he was alone or not but in the end all along deep inside he knew that it was.
Additionally we have Kono who hangs out a lot with Remi and Sengoku due to the student council yet feels like she is always left out in a sense, may it be due to them being a couple or just generally when they ask her for advice as she feels like that’s the only thing she is good for.
Speaking of the student council, the former problem with Remi hiding her true feelings, we can see that there is a sense of loneliness as well, as she sees Sengoku slowly changing despite her liking him the way he was even with his little flaws. When she narrates the way they met and that she was fond of him, she doesn’t seem to give off the feeling of a sweet everlasting romance that started from that point, but rather talking nostalgically and with a hint of missing the old Sengoku she fell in love with.
Last but not least we have Honoka who appears to hate Miyamura in the beginning but we get to see that he reminds her of her deceased brother. Coping with the death of her brother who used to get along with her very well, the strong underclassman of Hori and Miyamura is fighting with the loneliness of having lost someone very dear to her as she sees Miyamura every day resembling that very person.
Loneliness cannot be simply defined and is a complex feeling as we can see in those characters that we have a variety of that feeling and most of them represent someone out there who may have experienced the same, making us think which of this loneliness is my own?
5. Communication is hard
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With the last and obvious sad truth we see that one of the things we probably do often in our daily lives but still struggle with it the most is communication.
Each human is individual and different, we may share similarities some more than others but in the end we communicate with each. May it be through words, gestures, letters, chats and so on we are always connected in a way.
Still it always happens that no matter how hard we try, there are misunderstandings and we often conclude after a dispute or later on when we re-analyse the problem, there was a lack in communication or miscommunication.
In Horimiya especially in the beginning where Miyamura and Hori start to see each other more often we see from a viewer standpoint that both of them enjoy each other’s presence yet each of them thinks about the possible concerns and outcomes of problems that could occur.
In some cases there are incidents that could have been solved if someone would have just started explaining or maybe the other one trying to resolve the matter by speaking up, but just like in real life we humans tend to make assumptions about what the other person probably could think instead of asking them directly in most cases, or we are afraid to know.
Hori for example thinks it is obvious that she likes to be around Miyamura while Miyamura thinks she is probably pitying him and at some point they won’t meet anymore. That again results in Hori thinking that Miyamura may see her as pushy and therefore she doesn’t want to force him to do things with her in the beginning and Miyamura thinks again she is getting tired of him.
If neither of them would have spoken up this would have continued despite that both of them shared the same thought of wanting to stay with the other person.
We also get to see that with Yoshikawa and Ishikawa.
Even with Yanagi when he confessed to Yoshikawa, if it wasn’t for him clearing the misunderstandings that he caused most of the characters would have had the wrong impression of him and Yoshikawa would have thought he wasn’t serious about the confession he made in the beginning.
Same goes for Remi who tends to say things in a round-about-way, which mostly Kono or Sengoku need to clear up so other people wouldn’t misunderstand her actual good intentions.
Sometimes talking about a matter a bit longer than needed can resolve it than letting it sit in our heads and becoming a far worse misunderstanding. Often we get into disputes, discussions or become angry but in the end the longer we try to get across that what we really mean (if we mean well of course there are always people who mean harm as well), and try to make the other person aware of that what made us act or talk the way we do, the easier it becomes in the future to resolve matters just like Hori and Miyamura became much better in understanding each other towards the end of the series.
What do you think made Horimiya relatable for you?
Leave a comment and let us know!
Until then, spring started again…
Makii
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