#ms jpeg speaks

[msjpegsclass]

-sees J appreciation going on-

for my new friend @worldslastredemption Serial Designation J

Big ol hug for my new tall friend!

[casawio]

regretevator oc :) ms. jpeg.....

she speaks all french and fancylike but dont be fooled. she actually just draws deviant art bases and anime boys on mspaint

[wetcatspellcaster]

Hello again, Ms. gender nerd anon here, re-sending my ask! Thanks for confirming it got lost!

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your stance on misogyny in BG3 fandom (those “shipping Astarion with women is conversion therapy” takes are wild).

Gender dynamics in your fics are also a breath of fresh air because of how full of default heterosexual sado-masochism* and female submission in general f/m Astarion fics are (nothing wrong with being submissive, but the tendency itself is not above criticism imo). I absolutely love Rosalie’s wit, intelligence, agency, initiative, insecurities and vulnerability, she’s such a deep and well-rounded character. She’s a badass but not in a stereotypical “strong woman” type way which just acts “masculine”, e.g. fights, is assertive and sure of herself, etc. I think you’re doing a great job at portraying more egalitarian f/m relationship and sexuality.

I also remember you saying something like (I’m paraphrasing here) the problem you see with “I can fix him” trope is heterosexism that often accompanies it.

Considering all this I wonder if gender dynamics and using a feminist lens is something you consciously think about when writing Rosalie/Astarion and if yes, how do you approach that?

Thank you!

* https://preview.redd.it/6ak4wpp4zimc1.jpeg?width=577&auto=webp&s=933cf03cb5cc08346d3dff9bfc4a3266a0b68651&app_web_view=ios

PS I also read Howl’s Moving Castle recently and really felt something of Howl and Sophie in your fics, it’s lovely!

PPS English in not my first language so sorry for any awkward phrases/mistakes

hi anon, thank you for coming back with the long-awaited question (also there is no need to stress about the English used here, it's all very high level lmao so please don't apologise!)

I'm not interested in commenting/speaking ill on other fics or trends within Astarion fic so I'm only going to discuss this question in relation to my own writing. [Beyond once more reiterating that the popularity of m/m ships in fandom has its roots in racism and misogyny (a preference for white male characters above any female characters, especially those of colour when they are the canon interest), and the belief that 'gay' ships are inherently more virtuous has its roots in um. radfem ideology. and again, misogyny. Fair enough if you like what you like but please examine your biases and plz stop hating women and dressing it up as queer positivity.]

This ended up being very, very long, so it's under the cut lads! I did promise I could talk about gender in fiction all day long.

So first off, anon - people like what they like. There's nothing wrong with that - most of what I write, it's not done with any virtue signalling in mind, it's just that I'm writing what I like, as well. That is, I'm going to be honest, in large part my answer to your question.

In all honesty, I do not write my bg3 with an inherently feminist lens or mindset held in my brain at the time of drafting, beyond the fact that I'm a feminist in my own day-to-day life. If I was to attribute it to anything... I would actually be really basic, and just be frank: I really like women. I find women hot. I like a lot of female characters, more than I like male ones.

I'm really touched you think Rosalie is a well-rounded character, as she is intended to be written that way, but honestly? I just find her hot. I give her good lines and fun moments equal to Astarion's, bc she's v sexy to me. I like giving her hot things to do, and at a very basic level, it's for me, lmao. I made her well-rounded, bc I like her and I find her entire character aspirational and attractive. Fic is, often, just for pleasure. In the same way other people write what they find hot, I write what I find hot, and if you were to examine my fics and my bookmark history (Sophie/Howl is up there honestly, but Jareth/Sarah from Labyrinth is the biggest giveaway lmao) you would know that I just find this kind of dynamic.... where there's a villain and a heroine who breaks him.... or a woman who reads a man for filth... hot.

But if you want an answer that goes deeper and more theoretical, there are two things that I can give you!

I find it both reassuring and funny that you bring up both heterosexism and not making Rose 'masculine', bc Rosalie is consciously one of my most femme OCs. The pink/purple colour scheme is a dead giveaway. I think this was because, in Early Access, all of the femme companions are gnc in some way, which was fucking awesome, but that meant there was a gap in the market for my funky pink tiefling!

Most of the characters were also quite edgy - I've talked about the Early Access disapproval, and the way it felt like you were being bullied by the pixels inside your gaming PC, and how this informed my choice of OC. At the time, I was also playing in a D&D game full of edgelords, and was getting quite bored (mid-pandemic) with this entire belief that playing 'good', or being idealistic, is naive/dumb, or boring, or trite, or overdone. A lot of my writing is triggered by a spite reflex, so in Rose, I doubled down. I put a lot of tropes about femininity that get a lot of hate in fandom into Rosalie, bc these often overlap with the idea that being emotional or naïve is undesirable bc (you guessed it!) misogyny. It's better to be jaded and cynical, bc that's a traditionally masculine view of the world. This idea that being 'good' is stupid is fed by many things, but it is gendered, and making Rosalie a high femme woman was a conscious decision.

BUT in her character, I also had this secondary question - in a group where everyone is berating you for being kind, if you're a rabid people pleaser and traditionally feminine caregiver, why are you refusing to back down? How are we getting to the 'lawful' part of lawful good - which I interpret as having an inflexible moral code? And this was where I bought in the idea that someone is trying to make up for lost time, and created the device of her agoraphobia, and the tadpole as anxiety medication.

I think this is perhaps what makes her feel well-rounded, but also takes her from 'passively' feminine to 'actively' feminine - she's had all the traditional femme upbringing BUT she then has a tadpole hijacking all her AFAB socialisation, everything that's told her to not to take up space or back down or defer to other people.

I'm not going to lie, this is something I am struggling with at the moment: an awareness of being raised and socialised as a woman, and as an autistic woman who's masking practices are inherently tied up into the codes of femininity and the behaviour expected of her. I didn't realise this at the time of writing. But I guess Rosalie gets access to a confidence she didn't before, through a magic cure, and this is something that alters the dynamics of her character in a way that allows her to have a more active role. She doesn't feel the need to mask much anymore (see! this is why I find her HOT!!!)

..

The other gendered lens I will admit to bringing to the table with Rosalie, and consciously employing, is the traditional gendered dichotomy between emotion (femininity)/intellect (masculinity) that was held in the 1800s-1900s. This is because this theory used to fascinate me, I've read/studied a lot about the idea of gendered modes of reading books and understanding the world - for instance, there was a moral panic that's reflected in books like Northanger Abbey and Madame Bovary where it was feared women couldn't read literature properly, and that the lines between fiction and reality became blurred for them, because literature incites emotions and women are inherently more emotional beings. It was believed that they couldn't differentiate between the emotions fiction made them feel, and their real life. This persists till today, in a derogatory approach to female fandom, to immersed readers, and the media products that girls like (e.g. the Twilight books, and associated derision of its readership). In this dichotomy and belief system, women are overly emotional and thus stupid/idealistic, and the admirable way to be is critical, detached, intellectual - ie. everything the man making these rules thinks he is.

This DOES come into play with Rosalie, in a big way, but that's kind of BG3's fault. The whole idea of a mindflayer, is someone who is intellect without any emotion, and this makes them threatening, and powerful. I coupled that with a woman who sees her depression (and thus her emotion) as a weakness, and who is using illithid tadpoles as medication. I've talked a few time in asks, about how the bad ending for Rosalie would be her turning into the mindflayer for the good of the group, becoming that ideal of intellectual detachment that she thinks will be all everyone wants from her. It would be: The Bleeding Heart, versus The Exalted Mind. I sat on that decision screen, CRYING, for a really long time, bc I knew she would turn illithid in a heartbeat, for all the wrong reasons. To me, it felt like a new version of suicidal ideation had been given to my mess of a character. (Thank god for Astarion in this instance, honestly).

As a wizard, Rosalie is operating in that intellectual paradigm that critical thinking = good. Being cold and analytic = good. She is not that, until she has the tadpole: she never aspired to power, she feels in thrall to her own emotional state, she feels like her emotions make her weak and have actively disadvantaged her progress. So she is facing this battle between what she thinks she should be - intellectually confident, certain, calculated and cool - and what she thinks she is - emotionally messy, easily manipulated, sad and weak - without realising it's a fake mutually exclusive binary, and she can in fact be both. This is a journey I hope to take her on in An Honest Lie, and she's already undergone in Pieces (although, there's a bit more emotional repression in this timeline, if she was actually well-adjusted i think she would've fucked the Ascendent at least once lol).

What I did bring to the table was a extreme frustration at traditionally feminine-coded traits (moral idealism, goodness, empathy, over-emotional modes of being in the world) being constantly derided or treated as stupid. I also wanted to write a wizard who wasn't a pinnacle of intellect, but was struggling with that fact, and I made her high femme for a reason!

So... yeah! TLDR, I write women with personalities bc I like and am attracted to women - the same way a lot of male characters get attention or become the most fully fleshed, complex beings in existence, bc their writers like and are attracted to them. I do not write consciously feminist attacks on other people's dynamics, what I write is the dynamics I find incredibly sexy instead.

So I guess... my advice on how to approach things???

write what you find hot

give attention to the characters you find hot

if there are any dynamics you find interesting in theory, you can explore them!

I did make a conscious choice to subvert some tropes in Pieces, but this was mostly to avoid writing noncon bc it's not my thing, I didn't have any interesting in doing that to my OC, and also, i don't think I could write it well. So I guess the other thing you can do is, if there's a trope that frustrates you or you don't like the gendered politics of something, think of a new interesting way to write it or flip that dynamic (....like a Power Word Kill!)

[pumpkaaboo]

Here's chapter 1 of the Revolutionary Girl Utena/Neon Genesis Evangelion crossover I've been working on with @nerd-dot-jpeg! It's been really fun to work on so far! Full text under the cut.

“Attention, due to the special state of emergency declared for the Toukai region and the surrounding mid-Kanto area, an evacuation has been ordered. Please proceed to your designated shelter immediately.”

Utena stretched nervously, bouncing into a lunge with her left leg forward, then her right, before standing up straight and pulling her arms to the side one at a time, relishing in the weight of her thick black jacket. She grunted with exertion, then sighed, leaning back against a nearby telephone pole. “She’s late…”

For once, the city’s streets and monstrous buildings of concrete, glass, and steel were silent. No cars honked in tune with the screaming of their drivers caught in a traffic jam, no neighbors shouted at each other from their windows, and all the speaker systems that usually blared a cacophony of arguments for why Utena needed countless products she had never heard of only repeated that same toneless message in perfect sync. Not even the pigeons were around to make noise.

“Attention,” the message looped, “Due to the special state of emergency declared…”

Utena pulled her long pink hair into a ponytail. Then she took it out. She kicked an empty soda can into the air, bouncing it between her feet. She made a game out of not letting it hit the ground, before finally sending it soaring to a perfect landing in a nearby trash can. She gave herself a moment to celebrate her shot, but the excitement faded quickly, leaving only a gnawing anxiety behind. Then she put her hair back up.

“Maybe she got delayed by the Angel… I should be out there, doing something… I came all this way to help, but I’m useless now!”

With a growl of frustration, Utena sprang back to her feet and started doing lunges again.

Suddenly, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She whipped around, and met the gaze of a girl with dark skin and long violet hair that cascaded down to her waist. Her green eyes seemed to almost glow in the afternoon light, and she stood perfectly still in the middle of the intersection, the heat distortion causing her form to waver like a mirage, a trick of the light. Something about her seemed familiar, somehow.

For some reason, she reminded Utena of a doll.

Perhaps it was the way her arms hung limply, languid, at her sides, perhaps it was her empty expression, perhaps it was the fact that Utena had been staring at her, frozen, for at least twenty seconds and she hadn’t blinked-

“Attention, due to the special state of emergency-”

Utena jumped, the announcement snapping her out of her trance. She glanced up at it, then back at the girl, who hadn’t moved. She took a step forward. “Hey-”

You need to get to an evacuation shelter, she wanted to say, it’s not safe here, but she was cut off by the sounds of a revving engine and the screeching of tires against pavement as a bright yellow car skidded to a stop in front of her, almost tipping over itself in the process.

The driver’s-side door opened, and a woman in sunglasses and a red military jacket leaned out. “Sorry to keep you waiting! Utena Tenjou, right?”

Utena blinked, then nodded. She stood on her toes, leaning to the side of the car to try and catch a glimpse of the girl again, but the intersection was empty save for the steaming tire tracks and smell of burnt rubber.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing I just… I thought I saw someone.”

The woman followed Utena’s gaze, then shook her head. “Well, whoever it was, they must have left. I hope they get to a shelter in time… You should get in, by the way. I hate to rush you, but, well… unforeseen circumstances and all that.”

As if on cue, a thunderous boom rang out from somewhere in the distance, as a shockwave rippled across the city. Utena stumbled, catching herself on the car. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry I had to make you come all this way at such a time… it’s rotten luck, really.”

The woman grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I’m Misato Akagi, by the way, and I’ll be your commanding officer from here on out.”

Utena nodded, climbing into the passenger’s seat and buckling her seat belt. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Akagi.”

Misato groaned. “Please, Ms. Akagi is my wife. You can call me Misato.” She took in Utena’s poorly-disguised shock and laughed as she pulled out of her “parking space”. “Let me guess: first time you’ve ever met a real live gay person, huh?”

“I- well I mean- I’d heard of- and of course there must have been some that I just didn’t know they were- but-”

“Don’t worry about it. Just treat us like you would any other couple and we’ll get along fine.”

Utena nodded. “Got it, Ms. Misato.”

“Hey, you’re getting it! By the way, I need to make a call now that I have you, but is there anything you need to say first?” Utena shook her head. “Great, this’ll just be a couple minutes.”

Utena took this as her cue to tune Misato out and stare out the window. Just over the mountains, she could see a couple of silver dots moving through the sky.

“Hey, Ritsuko, it’s me. I have the Sixth, and we’ll make it to the car shuttle train in about twenty minutes, assuming the Angel doesn’t fall right on top of us, of course. Make sure it’s ready.” Some muffled words came through the speaker, but Utena couldn’t make them out. “Of course I don’t doubt you, I just wanted to check to be safe… oh, and make sure Ohtori knows we’re on our way, too. He’s been quite vehement about making sure this one gets to HQ ASAP. Love you too, see you soon, bye!”

Misato hung up the phone with a loving sigh, her eyes taking on a relaxed softness as they returned to the road. Utena glanced at the phone, then back at Misato. “Your wife?” she asked.

“The one and only Ritsuko Akagi, the sharpest mind this side of the Andromeda galaxy. God, I love that woman.”

I can tell, thought Utena. Now that she’d had a bit of time to get accustomed to the idea of two women being… together, she could appreciate what the romance had clearly done for Misato. She fought back a pang of envy at the adoring expression on Misato’s face. Maybe someday, when I find my prince…

They drove in silence for a few minutes, barring the occasional shockwave from the battle with the Angel raging on in the distance. A blinding light cast the entire valley they were driving through into shadow, but it was gone as quickly as it came, leaving nothing but a plume of smoke behind.

Utena shifted in her seat. “I hope the pilot’s okay…”

Misato grimaced. “It’s Saionji-san this time, he’s tough, he’ll be fine,” she said, unconvincingly. The silence, which before had been uncomfortable, was growing unbearable. “So!” Misato said, clearly in a desperate attempt to break it. “From what I’ve read in your file, we actually have a lot in common!”

“Really?”

“Yep! Antarctica, Second Impact, right?”

Utena stared. “You too? I didn’t realize anyone else…”

“As far as anyone knows, the two of us are the only survivors, and we were both kids whose parents worked there. Kind of a weird coincidence, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. Um, if it’s not too forward of me to ask, how long were you…?”

“Oh, I wasn’t in cryostasis like you were, so I didn’t lose any time. Luckily, the protective capsule my dad put me in got found floating out at sea before I died of dehydration, but as a result of my experiences, I was unable to speak for several years.”

“Oh.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. It was a long time ago, and I’m totally fine now!” Misato flashed Utena a grin. “What about you? What’s your story? If you feel comfortable sharing it, that is.”

“Um, this is going to sound kinda silly.”

“Don’t worry about it! This is a bonding exercise, anything goes.”

“Well… it was a prince.”

“Wait, what? What was?”

Another shockwave tore through the car, stronger this time, or maybe they were just closer to the source. Utena cried out in alarm, and she could see that Misato’s hands had tightened on the steering wheel.

“After the wing my parents were in collapsed, but before the big explosion, there was a prince who came to me. Like, right out of a fairy tale. He was shining, and he smelled like roses. He told me to never lose my strength or nobility, even when I grew up, and then put me in the pod and sealed it. Um, but my memories of that day are pretty fuzzy, so I don’t really know where he came from or… anything else.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, seven years in cryostasis will do that to you.” Misato flashed Utena a reassuring smile.

Utena returned the smile, and then, emboldened by Misato’s encouragement, continued. “Well, after that, I decided that I wanted to become a prince who saves people just like he did for me, so I started dressing like a boy, and I adopted a chivalrous lifestyle… and well, here I am now.”

Misato’s eyes shone. “That’s so cool! It really gives me hope, you know, that people still choose to be brave and kind to each other, even after everything… oh, and by the way, the school you’ll be attending has a mandatory dress code, but one of the perks of being an Eva pilot is that you get to wear whatever you want, so you won’t have to fight the teachers on the whole uniform thing.”

“Really? That’s a relief.” Utena rubbed her fingers absentmindedly, protectively, against her jacket’s thick sleeve, enjoying the texture. “My last school had this crazy guidance counselor… I swear, you put one toe over these invisible lines people made up about what boys and girls can and can’t do, and everyone loses their minds.”

Misato winced. “Tell me about it…”

“Oh! Oh right, of course you’d know all about that-” Utena flailed around verbally once more, suddenly remembering Misato’s… situation. “Sorry, I just forgot-”

“Hey, no worries. I guess you could say we’re birds of a feather in a lot of ways, huh?”

“...Yeah, I- I guess we are.”

“By the way, how would you feel about-”

Whatever Misato was about to say next was cut off by another shockwave, this one even stronger than the last. But this time, instead of dissipating harmlessly, it was followed by an avalanche of boulders thrown into the air from when a nearby mountain had- oh dear god, it had exploded.

Misato shouted with alarm and slammed on the brakes, just barely avoiding a crash with the boulder in front of them. Several more impacted with the road behind them, trapping the car right where it was. A roar shook the mountains, and the pair slowly turned their gazes toward the source.

There was an Evangelion standing there in a combat stance, prog knife in hand, its metallic chassis gleaming blood-red in the harsh afternoon light, with green and gold accents shimmering like stars through the heavy smoke rising from the ashes of what used to be a mountain. And standing across from it…

“That’s an Angel?” Utena asked, horror keeping her voice from rising above a whisper. Misato gave a terse nod.

The thing was titanic , almost half the size of the mountain that it and the Eva had just wiped off the face of the earth. It had six sinewy arms and no legs or head, and a red orb portruded from its back. It roared once more from its many gaping, salivating jaws, one at each shoulder and probably several more where Utena couldn’t see, before making another charge at the Eva. The massive robot sprang into action, dodging the Angel’s hands and slashing at it with its prog knife again and again, but was repelled each time by some sort of shimmering orange field.

“I… I’d seen the videos, but…”

Misato didn’t take her eyes off the fight. “Nothing can prepare you for the real thing. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. We need to get out of this car; it’ll be of no protection for us if either of them hurls something — or, god forbid, themselves — over here.”

Utena nodded with agreement, and together they exited the car and climbed on top of a nearby boulder, hoping for a better vantage point. Utena pulled her knees to her chest. “So that’s gonna be my duty next, huh?”

“If we survive this…” Misato’s voice was barely a whisper; she didn’t seem to have noticed that she had spoken aloud. “You’ll be added to the rotation of pilots for Unit R05, yes.”

“Ah.”

They sat together in silence for a few more minutes, watching the fight. The combatants seemed to be at a sort of standstill, with the Angel unable to pin down the Eva for long enough to bite into it, and the Eva unable to pierce the Angel’s strange orange shield.

Misato’s eyes narrowed. “Saionji’s sync rate must be down, if he can’t get through that A.T. field. Argh, I knew we should’ve prepared Miki instead, but he insisted-”

The Angel got a hit on the Eva's face.

There was a moment of sudden, deafening silence.

And then the Eva screamed.

Giant steel-plated arms grasped at its head, metallic and organic screeches blending together. Blood-red spikes shot out of the chassis, fracturing it in several places. Misato cursed and whipped her phone out of her pocket, hastily pressing a few buttons. The face of an intense-looking blonde woman popped up on the screen, with a white hospital room in the background.  “He’s been the pilot for too long, psychological contamination is setting in! R05’s going berserk!” Misato shouted.

“We know that!” the other woman hissed.

“So what are our options?”

“We’ll have to shut down R05 and send D10.”

Misato sucked in a breath. “No… Anthy’s still injured! She can’t pilot in her state!”

“Do you have a better plan?” the woman shot back.

MIsato glared at her feet.

The blonde woman turned to her side. “That’s it then. Anthy, you’re being deployed.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Utena gasped in horror as a wheeled gurney came into view of the camera. There was a girl on it-the same girl she had seen in the intersection, but her purple hair was curled into a tight roll all the way around her head, and she wore a pair of round glasses, and almost every inch of her skin was covered in bandages, some of them already showing red with blood soaking through. The girl seemed to mentally steel herself, before sitting up with a soft cry of pain and slumping against the blonde woman’s side, panting.

“No!”

All eyes turned toward Utena.

“I’ll pilot the Eva! That’s what I’m here for, right? You can’t make her do this!”

Misato met the blonde woman’s eyes. “...Could that work?”

She thought for a few seconds. “If we perform a full shutdown of R05, we could buy the Sixth about thirty seconds to get into the entry plug before it restarts itself and resumes its berserk rampage. Of course, that would be thirty seconds of total vulnerability…”

“We could distract it by sending military jets to bomb it,” Misato added.

“That could work… but there’s still the risk of the Angel realizing what we’re trying to do, or a stray bomb hitting the Sixth.”

“Then let’s leave it up to her. Utena, are you sure you want to do this?”

Utena hadn’t broken eye contact with the strange girl. Those green eyes, shining with pain and fear and despair...

“I’ll do it.”

The girl’s eyes widened with shock and, perhaps, a spark of hope.

Misato closed her eyes. “That settles it, then. Ritsuko, I hope you’re prepared to line everything up quickly, because we’re going to need that time. Utena, I’m going to need you to watch R05 closely. Try to predict where it’s going to fall, because you’re only going to have thirty seconds to get into the entry plug, where its spine meets its neck. Once you’re in there, you’re going to find Saionji unconscious in the cockpit. He’s wearing a pair of triangular metallic hair clips-those are the neural interface, you’ll need to clip them to your own hair, as close to your head as possible. Got all that?”

Utena nodded, her stance tense with determination. “Good. After that… Well, from what I’ve heard, piloting an Eva is sink-or-swim. There isn’t really any advice I can give you, since I’ve never done it myself… so try to swim. Good luck.”

Misato returned to her phone and started barking orders, and Utena slid off the rock towards where the battle was raging on. The spikes piercing out of R05’s chassis had started dripping a red liquid that steamed when it hit the ground. The metal at its shoulder blades bulged and cracked, and she could see an eerie purple light shining through the fissures.

One drop of liquid hit the Angel’s hand, and its howl of pain shook the entire valley. The hand melted away completely, leaving a stump at the wrist. The spots on the ground where the melted flesh had landed turned green, and if Utena looked closely, she could see thorny vines growing out of them.

Utena returned her attention to the Angel. Maybe, without its hand, we have a chance… her thoughts were cut off when the Angel flexed its arm, and two more hands grew from the stump. Oh. It can do that. Okay. The Angel screeched from all of its mouths, and as R05 lunged at it, caught the mech’s arms with two hands each, and began scrabbling at the Eva's chestpiece with its free arm.

With a keening cry, more spikes shot out of R05’s chest, catching the Angel’s shoulders and causing it to stumble back. The Eva took a few steps backward, panting. There was a sickening crack , and Utena could see that the fissures in its back had grown a bit larger, the purple light spilling out a little bit brighter.

Misato cursed. “Its wings are about to erupt! Ritsuko, we need those reinforcements now! ”

“They’re on their way!” And sure enough, Utena could hear jet engines approaching rapidly, Something streaked toward the Angel, and an explosion rang out. The Angel stumbled forward and whipped around to face the squadron of fighter jets that were flying towards it. It let out a roar, and sprinted away from R05.

“Utena, go! ” Misato shouted as the Eva, seemingly about to charge after the Angel shuddered to a halt, then collapsed onto its side. Utena sprang into action, sprinting towards R05 before it even hit the ground and vaulting onto its wrist, before climbing up the arm. She pulled herself up onto its back and began making her way towards the entry plug as quickly as she could, taking care to avoid the red spikes, which she could now see were black at the base.

Another explosion from the Angel’s battle with the jets rang out, and Utena cried out in alarm as she fell into a crouch, clinging to one of the fissures in R05’s armor to keep from falling off. It was emanating some sort of strange energy, and Utena’s hands were starting to go numb. She pushed herself back to her feet, wincing as she tried to massage the feeling back into her fingers, and kept going.

She had just barely reached the entry plug when a shudder ran through the Eva, and it began to move its arms into position to push itself back up. Utena gulped, then twisted the release on the emergency escape hatch on the entry plug and slipped inside, shutting it tightly behind her.

And not a moment too soon, for an instant after the hatch was sealed, she was suddenly vertical, flung forward into empty space. Then she hit some sort of uncomfortably warm liquid, and didn’t even have time to gasp for breath before she was submerged. She coughed and sputtered, but after a few seconds, realized that she could breathe in the liquid almost as easily as air. It was orange, and transparent, thicker than air or water but not gelatinous, and it smelled like salt, with a faint hint of something acrid and sickly sweet. Fighting down a wave of disgust, Utena swam deeper into the entry plug, towards where she could see a chair suspended in the liquid.

Sure enough, just as Misato had said, there was a boy floating there, unconscious, his dark hair swirling around him like a kelp forest, with the triangular neural interface clips attached close to his scalp. Utena gingerly undid the clasps, then with both clips clutched in her hand, shoved the boy (Saionji?) up away from the seat. She settled into it, and somehow, the chair seemed almost made to fit her narrow frame.

Alright, R05 , Utena thought, it’s just you and me now. Moment of truth. With a deep breath, she affixed the clips to her own head.

She was enveloped by the scent of roses.

A heartbeat later, she was nearly bowled over by a wave of sensation and pain. The walls of the entry plug around her flickered , and suddenly displayed the scene of the battle, as if she were seeing through R05’s eyes. She could feel the spikes protruding from the Eva's body just as though it was her own, along with waves of pressure pounding at her shoulder blades.

Utena couldn't suppress a cry of agony, and she curled up in her seat. She could see R05’s movements jerk to a halt as it adjusted to this new connection. Emotions tore through her, somehow more intense than they were normally. Pain, confusion, fear… familiarity? Something about this, about being so close to this monstrosity of steel and fluid felt… right , somehow. Forcing herself upright, Utena reached out and stroked the wall of the entry plug.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” she said, in the most soothing voice she could muster, “I’m new here, and I don’t really know how to do this, so we’re going to have to work together, okay?”

The Evangelion had stopped moving. It stood at attention, and even though Utena knew on an intellectual level that it was just a robot, it almost seemed… hopeful? “I know it hurts, I’m so, so sorry. Please, just work with me here and it’ll be over soon, I promise.”

Utena felt a ripple of some emotion — was it acceptance? Relief? — and then, suddenly, the pressure at her shoulder blades receded, and the limbs of the Eva became her own. Utena smiled gratefully. “Thanks, bud. Now let’s go kill an Angel.”

Together, they turned their attention back to the fight. Two of the planes had crashed to the ground already, a third was missing with no sign of where it had gone, and the Angel stood on four of its arms, the other two flailing wildly into the air, occasionally extending far past where its bones should allow and requiring a plane to make a hasty dodge to avoid it. “We need to get it to leave those planes alone. Can you do that?”

As if in affirmation, Utena felt her attention directed towards R05’s wrist. A small gun was embedded there; not strong enough to do any real damage to the Angel, but enough to distract it enough to give the planes enough time to retreat. She lifted R05’s arm and fired.

The shot hit the Angel right at the edge of one of its mouths. The thing stiffened, and turned towards them. “Hey wait, how does it see us if it doesn’t have any eye- AH!” Utena’s sentence was cut off by a scream as the Angel charged them, slamming into R05’s chassis and knocking them both back. One of its shoulders collided with the Eva’s forearm, and she gasped in pain as its swordlike fangs dug in. It’s not real , she tried to convince herself desperately, as she felt the fibers of her muscles severed and teeth grinding against her bones. It’s just feedback, it’s not your pain…

But it was R05’s.

Machine or not, R05 felt pain.

A newfound determination welled in Utena’s chest. I can’t let this continue, she thought. I’m fighting for both of us, now.

She clutched the prog knife in her free hand and drove it upward. It crashed into the orange forcefield, sending splinters of pain up Utena’s arm, but she kept pushing. She felt a pulse of energy shoot out from R05’s core, and suddenly, the knife’s blade slipped through the field, right into the monster’s shoulder.

The Angel howled in agony and released her, but Utena didn’t retreat, instead springing back to (her? The Eva’s?) feet. She grasped the knife in both hands and brought the blade down on the orb in the Angel’s back again and again, until she felt something crack underneath the point. She dug the knife deeper, and the orb suddenly lit up, brighter than the sun—

She and R05 were thrown back by the explosion, they hit the side of a mountain, their heads impacting painfully against the rock, stars danced before their eyes—

It smells like roses, Utena thought.

Then there was nothing but darkness.

[chemiste]

Foresight ~ ch. 2

A/N : hello hi howdy, here’s ch. 2, let me know what y’all think!!

ch. 1

All you could do was weakly nod and follow the large mass of muscle through the crowd with Maggie attached to your arm. He swiped his keycard on a door and led you through a hallway, where you heard voices becoming louder and louder.

Fuck me.

Maggie gave you a reassuring squeeze as the guard knocked and then opened the door, pushing both of you inside and closing it. 

There they were, the band members all scattered on different chairs, a few others in all-black outfits with clipboards and headsets, and then, Harry Styles, sparkly jacket discarded on the chair next to him in the dressing room and stressfully running his hands through his sweaty hair. All his rings were placed on the table as though they had continuously snagged his hair and he got frustrated.

The room seemed to go dead silent when you entered.

Then, Harry spoke.

“How in the world did you know those songs.” 

You swallowed, “I’m so sorry I—“ the whole room erupted with loud shouts, people whipping out laptops and typing faster than you’d every seen before.

A large man came storming up to you, “Where did you leak it, or where did you find it? These songs are worth a lot more than you miss, so I suggest you speak very quickly so this doesn’t cause more of a problem than it is right now.”

You opened your mouth to continue, but was cut off by a scream across the room, “—what do you mean you can’t find the leaked file?! There has to be one! Look again!” 

You tried to butt in, “Please this is all a misunderstanding—“ “Just tell us which server you found the songs on!” “Please sir I—“ “Enough with the babbling! Just tell me—“

A large smack quieted the room, you turned around to see Maggie with the door handle in her hand. She must have slammed the door open and shut.

“Will you please let her speak?” She huffed. You had never been prouder to have Maggie as your friend.

You turned back to all the awaiting people squirming in their spots. 

 “There is no leak whatsoever anywhere online or physical.” 

A few people let out breaths of relief, but Harry spoke up again, this time walking closer toward you.

“But how did you know the songs?” You rubbed the back of your neck and squeezed your eyes shut, “This is going to sound ridiculous but, I’m psychic.”

A couple scoffs were let out and the man that had been previously screaming in your face said, “And you think we’re supposed to believe that?”

 “She’s telling the truth,” Maggie spoke up, “She’s been able to know things before others do all her life.”

“Prove it.” You and Harry spoke at the same time. You looked him dead in the eye as he continued, “How am I supposed to be 1000 percent certain you’re telling the full truth?” You said at the exact same time he did.

Now people were intrigued, “As I have your attention, I’d like you to know that I’m very sorry about the whole songs thing. It’s just sometimes I say things subconsciously and can’t register if I should know it already or not—plus the vodka I’d been drinking before didn’t help either.”

You continued, “I only know the songs because the melody had been stuck in my head recently and I guess maybe down the line your fans will figure out your blanks in the song. I only sang ‘tasted’ and ‘ride it’ because I can only predict that’s what they’re going to come up with soon. And apparently, they sing it for you since you don’t.” 

Harry’s manager, whose badge read, AZOFF, clapped him on the shoulder with a grin hanging off his face, “Man Styles, your fans are really something.”

That seemed to release the tension in the room. Mr. Azoff told everyone the crisis was averted and people scattered from the room except the band. “I’ll catch you tomorrow Harry, good show tonight.” His manager said as he left the room.

Once the door shut, a dark-haired woman came bounding over to you, “Hey Sarah.” You smiled at her and she seemed to be in awe, “You’re like a superhero!” You scrunched your nose at her declaration, “I don’t think of it that way, more like lucky guesses.” “Lucky guesses! Psh! You knew the George Michael bit of Anna, and we just put that in. You are magical.” Mitch exclaimed for his seat on the couch.

“So now what?” Maggie asked, sitting on the edge of the couch. You looked back to the British rockstar, he smiled and dramatically put his hand out to you.

Hesitantly, you slid your hand into his. “Ms.—” “Y/N” “—Ms. Y/N, will you do me the gracious honor of accepting my apology for believing something so terrible of you.” 

A couple snickers were heard from the band, and Maggie as well. You rolled your eyes at his tactics, for a super celebrity, he’s still a huge dork. “Of course I will, I totally understand what a disaster it would be to have something leaked.”

Click!

You both turned your heads to the door, where a woman with a camera stood taking a picture of your hands together. “Hey, are you the psychic people are chatting about?” 

You let go of Harry’s hand as she snapped another picture, “Yes I am, my name is Y/N.”

The photographer came inside the door and slung the camera strap over her shoulder. “Lovely to meet you, but Harry and co, its time for the post-concert shot and I want to do it on the stage before they shut down the lights.”

 Harry’s head perked up at her request and the band members got up to leave. He slipped his rings back on quickly as well before exiting.

Maggie got up from the couch and everyone headed out back to the stage. You both wandered behind them, not really know if you could leave or not. “What are we supposed to do now?” She whispered. 

You shrugged your shoulders as you walked to the side of the stage and watched the talented musicians link up to take a farewell photo. It made you smile, they each seemed truly happy in each other’s company.

As everyone left the stage to finally retire to their respective rooms for the night, Harry walked over to you, with a bit of strut in his step?

“Did you wan’ a photo or somthin’?” He asked with a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes at the narcissism, “I’ve already got a picture of you to post on my phone, thanks though.”

Now it was your turn to wear a cheeky smile, the man seemed taken back by your denial and Mags, on the other hand, was beyond herself with disbelief. 

“Well, if you’re not gonna take a picture with him, I sure as hell am!” Shoving her phone into your hand, she pulled the much taller man in for a hug and smiled at the camera. 

Click!

You smiled at the picture and gave the two a thumbs up. You glanced at the time and your eyes went wide. “Oh god, Mags we gotta go! It’s almost 12am.” You put your hand out to shake his, “It was great to meet you but we have to leave, got a train to catch early in the morning.” 

“Where are you girls headed off to?”

Maggie gave a little dance, “Paris baby! I’m so fucking excited to see the Eiffel tower again!” Both of you chuckled at her response. He turned to look back at you, “What a coincidence, I’ll be performing there the night after tomorrow. Are you sure you’re not following me?”

“Sorry to burst your bubble superstar, but that’s not the case. This is our spring break trip and miraculously Maggie’s father got last minute tickets from a colleague that couldn’t use them. That’s why we’re here right now.”

“It was lovely seeing you perform, you really know how to use a stage.” You continued. “Yeah! You really did look like sex during Caroli—” 

Shit, maybe Maggie isn’t as sober as I hoped, you thought as you immediately put your hand over her mouth. 

“Ha ha, um, so ya on that note, we’re gonna go. Bye Harry.” He chuckled as you pulled Maggie away who now realized what she had spilled out.

“Bye Y/N.”

Ding!

It was already 1am and Harry had just settled into bed for the night, he grabbed his phone that had lit up from the notification.

1 New Email : Hélène Pambrun

Harry opened the email Hélène sent him.

Hey, I edited this picture and thought you might like it, maybe something to post. Only if you want to though.

Night.

Attached-JPEG.

Harry click the attachment and smiled.

Then posted it.

“Okay, the timer is a go!” 

Maggie ran back over to where you were next to the ledge of the bridge, her ponytail bouncing with each step.

 Paris was beautiful at night, and even more so, the Eiffel Tower that was lit up in front of you. You both faced the iconic monument and waited a second for the timer to take the photo.

Click!

Mags went over to grab your phone, “It’s perfect, we are such fashion icons. Even Anna Wintour would be proud.”

You looped your arm with Maggie’s and you headed off to site see some more. You posted the picture while you window-shopped, stopping a couple times to look at certain items before venturing on. 

“What’s on the agenda for tomorrow Mags?” You asked as you both entered the hotel lobby, finished with your escapades. 

 “Well, we should see if the Louvre will even be a possibility—“ “It won’t be.” “—oh, too many tourists tomorrow?” She questioned. 

“No, a child will throw up on the entry door and close it down for a couple hours for cleaning.” You answered, swiping the key into your hotel door.

 Maggie toed her shoes off and opened the bathroom door, “It’s great traveling with someone that knows if things could go to shit or not.” You cracked a smile and went to sit down on your bed opposite hers. 

As you changed into pjs, your phone started blowing up with so many notifications that it was slowly moving off the nightstand. 

“Woo’s cawling yoow at tis time?” Maggie asked with a mouth full of toothpaste. 

“They’re not calls,” you answered, picking up your phone. 

“It’s notifications on Instagram.” 

“Huh?” Maggie came over and sat down to read over your shoulder.

Hundreds of comments rolled in on your phone, you checked Instagram and gasped. 

“Maggie I have about 3000 new followers what’s going on?” The brunette leaped up to grab her phone and scroll through with you.

“Oh my god, Y/N, it looks like there are videos of you singing at the show going viral!” “What! Why did I not see this beforehand?!”

“I don’t know but these speculators are growing in size, should we contact the Harry Style’s headquarters account? People are already coming up with crazy theories and I’ve only been to one fan account.”

You watched with wide eyes as more people filled your Instagram posts with comments and questions, “Do I go on private?!” 

“No!” Maggie nearly shouted, “You can’t do anything that would raise suspicions even more, people already have screenshots of your posts it wouldn’t matter anyway.” Email coming through!

Huh?

Ding! Ding!

1 New Email: Jeffery Azoff

“Mags, I just got an email from Harry’s manager.” 

You said with a shaky voice, “What are you waiting around for, open it!” 

You clicked the message.

Dear Ms. L/N

Due to a social media outbreak, I would like to meet with you tomorrow before the concert to discuss how to further proceed in light of recent events. Please come by at 1pm, attached is the pass to show security and address of the arena.

Jeffery Azoff

“He wants me to come by before the Paris show! To talk about what’s happening.” She nodded approvingly, “See, the professionals will handle it. Y/N don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

There you were, 1pm sharp with Maggie by your side as you showed the electronic pass to the guard at the door of the center.

You had to squeeze through the line of already awaiting fans which made you feel really guilty as you felt their envious stares on the back of your head as the guard like you in. 

You opted to wear something that was not your Ramones t-shirt and funny enough, you seemed to see an increase in that particular band attire as you made your way through the crowd.

You had on your trusty high waisted blue jeans and a thin black semi turtle neck with shiny black booties for height. Maggie dressed down as well, going with a long sleeve red dress and brown thigh highs. 

Once you both wove your way through the maze that was the backstage, you arrived at B34, the room Mr. Azoff asked you to meet him.

Here goes nothing.

You opened the door and were greeted with Jeff, a few other crew members and—

“ ‘ello Y/N, a pleasure to see yeh again.” 

Harry Styles sat in a chair at the table in sweats and a pink sweatshirt that said ‘fuck I’m cute’ in cursive.

“Come please seat down, we don’t have that much time and I would like to patch things up quickly before the show so that Harry here doesn’t get bombard with shouts about our lovely Ramones Girl.” His manager said.

Well, that made you blush a dark shade of red, you sat down and Maggie sat next to you on the right, giving your hand a quick squeeze before pulling away.

Mr. Azoff rested his head on his arm that was propped up on the table, “So not to beat around the bush, the stats for this ‘new story’ are growing and quickly, E!News has already tweeted out the #ramonesgirl this morning and Teen Vogue liked a post on one of harry’s more dedicated fan pages stylesinlove that has pretty clear video and audio of seeing you and your singing.” 

He pushed the computer toward you, “These are a couple of postings you could put up on your feed if you’d like to clear up confusion or,” he paused for a moment and you leaned forward into his hesitation.

“Or what?” You simply asked, curious beyond belief.

“You could simply tour with Harry for a few more shows and make a comment or two for some fan pages that you’ve just been a fantastic friend of Harry’s for a while and already knew the songs since he had shared them with you beforehand.” 

You turned to Harry would hadn’t spoken up the whole time, “And you’re okay with that? It’s kind of a big deal to say I’m one of the people you shared unreleased music with.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, can’t very well tell them you’re a psychic, can we? That would be hard to explain to the press.”

You leaned back into the chair with the realization that this seemed to be the only way unless you wanted to show the world your sorta abilities.

What about Maggie?

“What do you think?” You turned to your friend.

She put her arms behind her head and smiled, “hey, I’ve got to go back to uni two days but honestly Y/N you could just transfer the two classes you’re taking to online and have a blast with Mr. Worldwide over here.” 

She gestured to Harry who was smiling into his hand, “I think it’s an opportunity you should not pass up. But you better call me every once in a while okay?!”

You took a deep breath and turned to Jeff.

 “I’m in.”

ch. 3

telephone hour for this chapter

foresight masterlist

<3

[diaryofaninsanewriter]

Before I proceed with the article, let me tell you a story associated with the image below. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I need your picture for the story He: Take this one, I am wearing a t-shirt made of recycled plastic Me: But your face isn’t seen He: So what?

Well, people, that is Shishir Joshi for you! A commander who prefers to remain in the shadows while working with his army of Good Samaritans.

When it comes to the grassroot problems of Mumbai’s citizens, there is one man who always carries the torch, Shishir Joshi. We have seen him create impact through railway station beautification, plastic recycling, adoption of BMC schools and many other initiatives which have changed the social & infrastructural fabric of Mumbai. Shishir has managed to mobilize many projects that will make Mumbai a better city for every citizen.

The national lockdown in the face of the Corona Virus pandemic has left many citizens confused, anxious, overwhelmed, sad and depressed. It is a situation that no one was really prepared for.

It has never happened, has it? An entire country shut down for 3 weeks. The future hanging in limbo – no one knowing how long the lockdown will effectively last. The lasting emotional and financial repercussions of the country’s lockdown are going to be long-lasting and possibly devastating.

There are so many people who are affected by the Lockdown – senior citizens, persons with disabilities, daily wage earners, homeless people and many more. Project Mumbai is working hard towards making life easier for them

Though Shishir leads the initiatives at Project Mumbai, it is an ARMY of volunteers, corporates and NGOs who are the real unsung heroes and Good Samaritans in serving the city relentlessly. 

You can learn more about him, his dynamic army of selfless soldiers and their projects by visiting www.projectmumbai.org. 

Here is a brief dekho into what Shishir Joshi and the Project Mumbai Army are doing for Mumbai during COVID-19 Lockdown

FREE Counselor on Call

Staying at home can trigger many emotional reactions within an individual. Prior to the lockdown, we were already living in an era where texting and social media were giving rise to loneliness and isolation. Self-deprecation was masked by an overt show of happiness on social media – but when everything is shrouded in darkness, there is a limit to which one can fabricate happiness online.

It is at such a juncture when individuals need someone to speak to. Someone who wouldn’t judge, someone who would care, a trained professional who would provide solutions. 

When Shishir realised that the lockdown in Mumbai would apply brakes to the citizens of a fast-moving city, he knew that the cry for help would be heard soon. 

Along with his team, he immediately set up an army of 50 trained counsellors who will offer FREE counselling on call.

Project Mumbai in association with Prafulta launched a Free Counsellors on Call facility for people of Mumbai with a team of close to 50 trained Counsellors being at their service from 8 am to 8 pm across multiple languages including Marathi, Hindi, English, Gujarati, Malayalam, Punjabi and Kannada.

Counsellors details are as follows:

Morning Slot: 8am-2pm

Simran  – English / Hindi / Punjabi – 9967708252 Shilpa – English / Hindi / Gujarati / Marathi – 9833886723 Nidhi – English / Hindi – 9870200278 Sonali – English / Hindi / Marathi / Gujrati – 9820739500 Anu – English / Hindi / Malayalam – 9821110534 Geeta – English / Hindi / Gujarati / Malayalam – 9619138746 Bindu – English / Hindi / Tamil / Malayalam / Telugu – 9769232427 Shraddha – English / Hindi / Marathi / Gujrati – 9820083358 Neepa – English / Gujrati / Hindi – 9820228174 Malvika – English – 9773589016 Devika – English / Hindi / Punjabi – 9619456692 Anagha – English / Hindi / Marathi – 9011058787 Kumkum – English / Hindi – 9930967451 Pratishtha –  English / Hindi / Marathi / Gujarati – 9833722831 Juhi –  English / Hindi – 7977997842 Shaista – English / Hindi / Konkani – 7020069140 Tanvi S – English / Hindi – 8355917587 Kalyani – English / Hindi / Marathi – 9029030054 Sangeeta – Hindi – 9930632928 Tanvi T – English / Hindi / Gujrati – 9819549088 Shraddha G – English / Hindi / Marathi – 90827 57134 Anuya – English / Hindi / Marathi – 9326678583

Afternoon Slot 2pm-8pm

Kuntal – English / Hindi / Gujarati 8657422409 Ratandeep – English / Hindi / Punjabi 8356947150 Sheena – English / Hindi 8450938338 Shachi – English /Marathi /Hindi /Konkani 9004805577 Soha – English 00447442837114 (Whatsapp call only) Vicky – English, Hindi, Marathi 9920109316 Preeti – English, Marathi 9372734717 Dippal – English, Hindi, Gujrati, Marathi, Kutchi 9820088457 Deepal J – English, Hindi, Gujrati, Marwari 9920712315 Afrin – English, Hindi 9769978863 Shachi – English, Hindi, Marathi, Konkani 9004805577 Yogita – English, Hindi, Marathi 9930180508 Preethi – English/Hindi/Marathi 9820955943 Priyanka – English, Hindi, Gujrati 9987216112 Usha – English Hindi and Marathi. 9920039186 Saba – English, Hindi, Gujrati 9930178990 Arlene K – English/ Hindi 8652250939 Geeta – English / Hindi / Gujarati / Malayalam – 9619138746 Sanjeev – English / Hindi 9833761600 Hitakshi – English, Hindi, Gujarati, Sindhi 8779375552 Nilom – English/Hindi/Gujrati 9819289211 Ujala – English, Hindi 9619196160 Dr Sukhmeet – English/Hindi/Marathi/Punjabi/Gujarati 9372266275 Analisa – English, Hindi 9819864016 Ms Armeet – English, Hindi and Punjabi. 9769438149 Rachna J – English, Hindi, Punjabi 9892286922

What else is Project Mumbai doing to support Mumbai during the COVID-19 pandemic?

The army of Good Samaritans at Project Mumbai in association with MCGM are working hard to provide FREE delivery of groceries and packed food and medicines for persons with Disabilities or Senior Citizens living alone.

While many pseudo-intellectuals were busy updating their social media on how “worried” they were about the daily wage earners and the homeless, the Project Mumbai Army was silently putting up a backend to combat the issue. 

The army of Good Samaritans is joining hands with several NGOs, corporates and citizens to provide warm home-cooked, nutritious meals to the homeless and daily wage earners through the initiative #KhaanaChahiye. 

There are so many initiatives that Project Mumbai regularly takes up for the betterment of the city. The projects are of relevance across the social strata and most have a long term impact on the well-being of the citizens of this wonderful city we call, Mumbai.

Shishir Joshi – The Good Samaritan whose heart beats for every Mumbaikar

DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter is indeed honoured to feature Shishir Joshi and the Project Mumbai Army. India is PROUD of you all.

Keep walking! God Bless!

How can you help?

Leave a note of appreciation for the Project Mumbai army in the comment section below. Your words of encouragement will mean a lot to these selfless Corona Warriors. 

Penned by

Mayura Amarkant 

Mumbai Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega|#ShishirJoshi and Project #Mumbai Army during #COVID19 #Lockdown #Sunday #ProjectMumbai Before I proceed with the article, let me tell you a story associated with the image below.

[t-baba]

A frontend performance checklist for 2020

#422 — January 8, 2020

Read on the Web

Frontend Focus

👋 Hey, it's good to be back in your inbox with the very first Frontend Focus of the new year. After the holiday break, we're back on our regular schedule, so you can expect this digest each and every Wednesday.

As it's the new year, here's a little PSA to kick things off: don't forget to update the copyright year in your footer. 😅

If you missed our last issue of 2019, it took a look back at some of the highlights of the past twelve months in all things HTML, CSS and browsers — that roundup is now available on the web, and you can find it here.

Finally, I just wanted to extend a thanks once again for reading this newsletter. If you've ever got any comments or links you want to share, just hit reply.

— Chris Brandrick

Front-End Performance Checklist 2020 — This superb, detailed, front-end performance checklist has been updated once again for 2020 — it’s filled with everything you need to consider for creating fast web experiences. Available as a PDF or as an Apple Pages/MS Word document.

Smashing Magazine

Firefox 72 — Our First Song of 2020 — Version 72 of Firefox is out now, introducing various DevTools improvements, support for CSS features such as the motion path spec, and a number of JavaScript and WebAPI updates.

Chris Mills (Mozilla)

New: Our 'Most Loved' JavaScript Course 🧡 Gets Updated — Take your JavaScript to the next level. Gain an understanding of callbacks, higher order functions, closure, asynchronous and object-oriented JavaScript.

Frontend Masters sponsor

Relearn CSS Layout with 'Every Layout' — A growing resource to help you learn (or relearn) CSS layout, using simple components (primitives) and a compositional approach. More layouts have been added since the last time we posted it.

Heydon Pickering & Andy Bell

▶  Why Are There Four Firefoxes? — Jen Simmons runs through the differences between the regular, Beta, Nightly and Developer versions of Mozilla’s browser, and explains how they can offer devs an insight into what features are coming down the line.

Mozilla Developer

Understanding CSS Grid: Creating A Grid Container — A new series breaking down the CSS Grid Layout spec. This first entry is a detailed look at what happens when you create a grid container and the various properties that can be applied to the container to shape your grid.

Rachel Andrew

Microbrowsers Are Everywhere — Gets into the minutia of microbrowsers - the small previews of your site that are pervasive all around the web, search and through social media apps (like a link preview in a messaging app), and how best to treat them.

Colin Bendell

💻 Jobs

Full-Stack or Front-End Engineer - Rails/React (Remote/NYC) — Got 2+ years experience? Come help build the next iteration of our growing digital recovery platform centered around providing alcohol abuse treatment.

Tempest

Frontend Developer at X-Team (Remote) — Work with the world's leading brands, from anywhere. Travel the world while being part of the most energizing community of developers.

X-Team

Find a Job Through Vettery — Vettery is completely free for job seekers. Make a profile, name your salary, and connect with hiring managers from top employers.

Vettery

📙 Articles, Tutorials & Opinion

Raw WebGL: An Illustrated Guide to Starting with WebGL — A well presented tutorial on getting started with WebGL, what key data structures you need, and what each of the main elements (of which there are quite a few when it comes to WebGL!) are and do.

Alain Galvan

Multi-Line Ellipsis Is Now Possible in CSS — You can now make use of the -webkit-line-clamp property in most browsers.

Josh Comeau on Twitter

Google Chrome to Hide Notification Spam Starting February — Chrome 80, scheduled for release next month, will block notification popups by default.

Catalin Cimpanu

Right-to-Left Styling 101 — Over 290 million people worldwide speak Arabic. Here’s an extensive guide on just how you can build your sites to support both left-to-right and right-to-left reading styles in CSS.

Ahmad Shadeed

First Online Mentored Software Bootcamp w/ Job Guarantee — Get a job or your money back with Springboard's online bootcamp. Extend your knowledge with 1:1 mentorship and career coaching.

Springboard (Software Engineering Career Track) sponsor

How to Create Printer-Friendly Pages with CSS — We’ve linked to this before, but it’s been updated for 2020 with the latest best practices.

Craig Buckler

Chrome to Show Error Codes, Similar to Windows BSOD Screens — The codes (currently being tested in Chrome v81) are intended to make debugging crashes easier.

Catalin Cimpanu

Getting Started with Web Performance — If you’re looking to explore how to go about tightening up your sites performance for the new year, this is a good place to start for grasping the basics.

Karolina Szczur beginner

Self-Hosting Third-Party Resources: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Anthony Barré

Adding Dynamic And Async Functionality To JAMstack Sites

Jason Lengstorf

Take the DevEconomics Survey, Share Your Views and Win Amazing Prizes & Gear

Developer Economics Survey sponsor

Using Easing for More Than Just CSS Transitions

Kilian Valkhof

Seven Chrome APIs You Should Know

Chidume Nnamdi

🔧 Code, Tools and Resources

VoxelSpace: A Terrain Rendering Algorithm — A performant, lightweight (less than 20 lines of code) terrain rendering algorithm that fans of 90s flight sim Comanche will no doubt get a kick out of. Demo here.

Sebastian Macke

A-Frame 1.0 Released: Framework for Building VR Experiences — A-Frame handles the 3D and WebVR boilerplate required to get running across numerous platforms quickly. Version 1 boasts full WebXR support.

A-Frame Team

Optimizilla: Online Image Сompressor — This tool claims to be the “ultimate image optimizer” for compressing JPEG and PNG images down to their minimum possible size.

Optimizilla

CSS Diner — This is a neat little browser based game that teaches you what you need to know about CSS Selectors.

Luke Pacholski

by via Frontend Focus https://ift.tt/2uwIwV1

[poppo911]

You’ve Got Mail! (Chapter 3)

Read it on FFN here

Word count : 3000-ish

Chapter 3 – Troublemaker(s)

.

.

To : All contacts

From : Christopher Vinther

Subject : Money Proposals

All teachers and staffs,

Please refrain from making unnecessary requests for money. Any unanticipated proposals submitted within the next two weeks will be denied. With, or without the Principal’s signature.

With the triennial accreditations ahead, a decent portion of the institution’s annual budget will be allocated for its preparation. Your understandings and supports would be truly appreciated.

Regards.

Okay, enough with the formality.

Seriously though, up to twenty six thousands centz in less than a week? What the hell! Why should I give you guys money for a shitload of pasta I did not eat? Or desks I did not break nor use? Go on destroying this school’s infrastructures and it will eventually close down even before we reach the accreditation terms.

Which means there would be less problem for me, now that I think about it.

P.s Dearest Miss Riza Hawkeye, if that lovely student of yours is keen enough to break a fire extinguisher, just like what he did last semester, I will grant you some cash just enough to refill it with lemonade iced tea. They can also put out a small fire, right?

Stay greedy for money,

Christopher Vinther

Staff, Treasurer

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Riza Hawkeye

From : Miles

Subject : Re: Money Proposals

It’s alright, Ms. Hawkeye. He also said that to me last semester when I was Edward’s homeroom teacher.

Suck up to Mr. Grumman a bit and the expense will be fully covered by the institution. You of all people would know better about his… peculiar taste.

Been there done that,

Miles

Teacher, Physics

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

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.

To : Roy Mustang

From : Heymans Breda

Subject : Alphonse Elric is surprisingly lovely

Before you take this mail’s subject the wrong way, I mean Alphonse is a caring, obedient student loved by his classmates, in contrast to his elder brother. Plus point, he also managed to achieve perfect score on my math pre-test.

You were right, though—three days into this, and I don’t think being a homeroom teacher is that bad.

Chess during lunch break?

Heymans Breda

Teacher, Mathematics

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Heymans Breda, Roy Mustang

From : Jean Havoc

Subject : Abort mission (continued)

So long story short,

I came to her as she was reading an online newspaper (in Dutch, my best guess) while sipping her coffee. Then I took a seat beside her. And then she eyed me curtly—hell, I hadn’t even said a thing!

Of course I was confused. After a few seconds of intense glaring, she told me, “Speak.”

So I did. I introduced myself—a little bit stuttered there coz who on earth can sit through her piercing blue eyes and stay collected?

Her response?

“Spit it out clearly. I don’t have all day to listen to your blabber.”

“Jean Havoc. P.E coach. Nice to meet you.”

“And?”

“Wha—err, you’ve got nice curves, there.”

The following events were a blur, and suddenly, I was laying on one of the beds in Knox’s room. With a cold ice pack on my crotch.

Yet Miles, who had spent years teaching in North, said that I’m apparently ‘lucky enough’ for getting ‘just that’. Well, luck my arse.

I repeat—abort mission. Those bada-boom breasts do not worth your (and your offsprings’) life.

Jean Havoc

Coach’s Aide, Physical Education

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Jean Havoc, Roy Mustang

From : Heymans Breda

Subject : Re: Abort mission (continued)

If stupidity could be expressed in graphics, yours would be graphs of exponential function y = 2^x when the base is greater than 1—smooth, continuous, and increases without bound as it approaches positive infinity.

Heymans Breda

Teacher, Mathematics

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Tim Marcoh

Cc : Yoki, Buccaneer

From : Roy Mustang

Subject : Who on their right mind refilled the chem lab’s fire extinguisher with expired lemonade iced tea???

A small-combustion-went-wrong and when we tried to put it out, it was fckn lemonade iced tea inside! Good heavens we installed automated water sprayers in the entire buildings last year in case of fire. (None was injured, fortunately.)

I’m going to make a formal request for a thorough inspection.

Drenched in water for the second time this week,

Roy Mustang

Teacher, Chemistry

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Roy Mustang

Cc : Buccaneer

From : Tim Marcoh

Subject : Re: Who on their right mind refilled the chem lab’s fire extinguisher with expired lemonade iced tea???

Sorry for the inconvenience,

I believe there has been no reinstallment for any of our fire extinguisher units recently. And considering that the last inspection was right before the winter break, whatever happened here afterwards, chances are it took place during the vacation, if that is even possible.

And yes, please proceed with the inspection. I will let the Principal know.

Regards,

Tim Marcoh

Staff, Head of the Laboratory

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Heymans Breda

From : Jean Havoc

Subject : Spring breeze had never felt this hot

Holy fuck bro, have you seen Ri’s outfit today? Mustang’s gonna regret this for his entire life if he missed the view!

Covertly admiring that suave thigh from afar,

Jean Havoc

Coach’s Aide, Physical Education

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Jean Havoc

From : Heymans Breda

Subject : Re: Spring breeze had never felt this hot

(You just never learn from past mistakes, huh?)

Beware. Ms. Armstrong could bust your nut. I bet she could do no less.

Can’t find myself disagree, though. Just make sure you don’t get caught by anyone. I mean anyone—that guy could set your ass on fire and make it looked like a small lab accident.

Heymans Breda

Teacher, Mathematics

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Roy Mustang, Tim Marcoh

From : Buccaneer

Subject : Re: Re: Who on their right mind refilled the chem lab’s fire extinguisher with expired lemonade iced tea???

Right away, Sirs.

Buccaneer

Staff, Head of Security Personnels

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Alex Louis Armstrong

From : Maes Hughes

Attachment : Elysia_photos_collaged .jpeg

Subject : Permission request for not attending your class

After a looong day of works, at last, I present you, A COLLAGE OF ELYSIA’S PHOTO COLLECTIONS! LOOK AT HOW CUTE SHE IS, ALEX!! Thee art mine life, mine every breath, little angel.

Anyway, I’m requesting permission for one of my homeroom student:

Windsor, Amadea (class of 2015)

for not being able to attend your P.E classes at least for the next two weeks due to an unfortunate accident leaving her with sprained ankle. In the mean time, could you give her written assignments instead? Thanks, Alex.

Which reminds me, have you seen Roy this morning? I know he will be busy in the lab today, but he’s not one to miss Sciezka’s Free-Brunch-Wednesday especially when quiches are involved!

I’m gonna spend the rest of the day being stuck here in my desk grading the kids’ essays. So if you managed to meet him, please inform him that today, for the first time in forever, Rizzie wore a high-slit pencil skirt to work today—bet you my monthly paycheck that he’d be way more than elated.

My heart belongs to Gracia Hughes but—deeeemn dude, those long, slender legs.

P.s The gossips regarding your sister are getting out of hand! I mean knocking Jean Havoc out in one kick? Come on!

Gracia’s hot hubby,

Maes Hughes

Teacher, English Literature

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Knox

From : Alphonse Elric

Subject : Medicication Request from Mr. Mustang

Good afternoon, Doctor Knox. I am Alphonse Elric from Mr. Heymans Breda’s class.

I was making my way to the boy’s restroom when I saw Mr. Mustang rushing to one of the stalls with drenched outfit and massive nosebleed. Miss Riza, whom he had been talking to only a few seconds before, admitted that she knew nothing beside his unfortunate water sprayer incident. He also won’t tell me the cause of his nosebleed, and told me to contact you instead to ask for some medications for him.

Does it have something to do with his beet-red face, Doctor? Since I did not see any signs of head trauma nor recent rigorous physical activity.

Best regards,

Alphonse Elric

Student, Class of 2017

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Alphonse Elric

From : Knox

Subject : Re: Medicication Request for Mr. Mustang

There’s no cure for his current nosebleed. Just tell him to shove some fabrics up his damn nostrils and stop thinking of inappropriate images of a certain coworker of him.

Coincidentally, your brother is here in my room. You might want to pay this brat a visit and give him a long-ass lecture as well.

Knox

Staff, Physician

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Edward Elric

Cc : Maria Ross

From : Riza Hawkeye

Subject : Detention Notice

The student Edward Elric will be detained during the lunch break on March 8 from 12:00 p.m until 12:45 p.m for the following reason(s):

- Mocking someone based on their racial features

- Being engaged in a physical fight resulting in mild injuries for both parties

Signed,

Riza Hawkeye

Teacher, Biology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Ling Yao

Cc : Maria Ross

From : Riza Hawkeye

Subject : Detention Notice

The student Ling Yao will be detained during the lunch break on March 8 from 12:00 p.m until 12:45 p.m for the following reason(s):

- Intensely mocking someone based on their physical features

- Being engaged in a physical fight resulting in mild injuries for both parties

- Trespassing into the Curtis’ kitchen, consuming half of the prepared pasta and taking the rest of it home on Monday, March 6th 2017 (evidences were collected during the ongoing thorough inspection by the security personnels)

Signed,

Riza Hawkeye

Teacher, Biology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Lan Fan

Cc : Maria Ross

From : Riza Hawkeye

Subject : Detention Notice

The student Lan Fan will be detained during the lunch break on March 8 from 12:00 p.m until 12:45 p.m for the following reason(s):

Encouraging a physical fight by being actively involved in it

Signed,

Riza Hawkeye

Teacher, Biology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Riza Hawkeye

From : Maria Ross

Subject : Re: Detention Notice

Things are getting out of hand. Got a plan in mind?

Just got summoned to the Principal’s room for the first time in months,

Maria Ross

Teacher, School Guidance Counselor

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Riza Hawkeye

From : Eugene Grumman

Subject : To my beautiful granddaughter

My precious Queen Rizzie,

You know I support every choices you make in life, as long as you’re happy with it. That includes not majoring in organic chemistry (much to your father’s dismay), living on your own, and also teaching in the school I lead.

It saddens me to say this, but today, I couldn’t say I approve your choice of articles of clothing. Sure, they are still within the rules, and your friend Rebecca had been wearing even more revealing outfits for more than I care to count. It’s not that you look horrible in them, Honey—it’s the exact opposite. And such thing could make us men delighted, in a certain way. But no, when it comes to you, I am anything but delighted.

In the future, could you please do your old grandpa a favor and avoid wearing such clothing at all cost, both within and outside work environment?

Because I am the principal. And you will do as I say.

Lots of love,

Eugene Grumman

Principal

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Solf Z. Kimblee

From : King Bradley

Subject : Warning

Is there any reason for you skipping works for two days in a row without any notification? Are you that eager to become jobless?

King Bradley

Staff, Head of Administrative Affairs

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Alphonse Elric

From : Riza Hawkeye

Subject : Introduction

Hello, Alphonse.

I’m sure I had entered your class once before, but in case you forget, I will introduce myself first. My name is Riza Hawkeye, and I teach biology. I got your mail address from Mr. Breda, your homeroom teacher.

Don’t worry, Alphonse. I only write to tell you that I would like to discuss a few things with you regarding… your brother.

Could you please meet me after school at the teachers’ room on the third floor? My desk is at the far left (if your back is facing the hall) near the windows.

Thank you very much.

Regards,

Riza Hawkeye

Teacher, Biology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Alex Louis Armstrong

From : Olivier Mira Armstrong

Subject : All those East City chickens are getting under my skin

Now I understand your reason for being the family’s disgrace despite having the same blood as mine running through your veins. Surrounded by these idiots doesn’t come without consequences after all.

First, that guy from the Administration Affairs who thought it was funny to joke on my first name since it is, apparently, a ‘masculine name of French origin’. If that means my name is way more masculine than the unmanly squeak he let out as I slammed his desk, I’m fine with it.

Grumman’s far-fetched goofiness is not something I like to deal with, but his secretary—Cataline? Caitlyn?—is way worse. Someone’s got to teach her proper manners to interact with someone who’s her senior by a couple of years. How did she make it to that position, anyway? Or does that old man got a disgusting affinity to low-cut blouses?

Don’t even make me start on that fuckin blond whose mouth was uglier than his face. Boy had to be reminded that his balls are not big enough to approach a stranger that way. I just wasted my two minutes I could better use for breathing peacefully yesterday.

Also that bespectacled technician who won’t let me have my bandwith yet. If only he worked faster and stop saying that lame you-just-arrived-here-today-ma’am-there’s-no-way-I-can-set-it-up-for-you-in-less-than-a-day excuse while trembling visibly as he entried my data, I would’ve had it by now. Using my smartphone for internet makes me less productive than normal.

I kinda see that old man’s reason to transfer me here—so that the accreditation board (mainly ran by the Armstrongs, yes) will ignore the fact that his school is lagging behind. Behind the North, at least.

And the worst of all—I now have to share an office with that guy? You heard my story about when I was one of the board’s members in the last triennial accreditation. The one where I got into a heated argument with a Xingese-looking teacher. Heck, I can’t even recall what we were arguing over—what I remember is his displayed ‘politeness’ during the bargaining. It was a fckn accreditation, Alex. And he conceitedly tried to make a concession. Do I also have to remind you that he did NOT do it the ‘clean’ way? Well maybe his ‘charismatic’ smile could woo most girls whose brains are smaller than their compact powder cases—but for me? It only made me want to punch him in the jaw. His smug face had been contaminating my mind ever since—and now I also have to learn that his name is Roy Mustang. And share a goddamn teacher’s room with him.

Summary: Stop making me ashamed by telling people that we’re siblings. I’d rather keep that one as low-key as possible.

Olivier Mira Armstrong

Teacher, Dutch Literature

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

Sent from mobile

.

.

To : Maria Ross

From : Denny Brosh

Subject : I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I just happened to be there

Do you know that Ms. Riza could be so… persuasive? I was collecting some files from the teachers’ room and accidentally (well not so accidental, I did do my job slower on purpose) overheard her conversation with a freshman. Didn’t get what they’re talking about, tho. I just knew that Edward was involved. Are they trying to blackmail that kid? Heaven knows.

Anyway, I have done making the recaps of last year’s senior students’ grades. Would you like me to print it out for you or just the softcopy will be fine?

At your service,

Denny Brosh

Staff, Administrative Affairs

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To : Rebecca Catalina

From : Riza Hawkeye

Subject : Your skirt gave me more trouble than Edward did

See? I told you it would be better for me to wear that you-so-called ‘boring’ trousers!

Riza Hawkeye

Teacher, Biology

East Amestris Senior High School | 75 Sycamore Lane, East City

.

.

To be continued

Yes, Mustang’s infatuation to the biology teacher is something that everyone knows. He’s only too afraid to admit that to himself lol.

Pretty sure each places have their own rules, but here in my place, that kind of relationship between civilian coworkers is allowed as long as they are not placed in the same ‘unit’ or structural positions that would allow them to practice favoritism (for example, in fact, some of my college lecturers are married to each others). Of course I don’t mean to paint every places white with this, but let’s just assume that here, in East Amestris Senior High School, such thing is not against the rule! XD I do apologize if there’s anybody bothered with this matter…

Aaaand also this fic got more royai I initially planned. Should I apologize for that, too, being a royai trash I am?

Starting a fic is a thing. Keeping it interesting for several chapters is a whole different challenge. Your thoughts would be very appreciated for my improvements—reviewreviewreview! Do tell me if there’s any character you find OOC, or too inappropriate, or such.

Thanks for reading!

[grimtaleslb]

i;; ca nt draw anymor  e;;

[akokosblog-blog]

Marvel boss says three new heroes will appear in MCU films after Disney debuts

Marvel boss says three new heroes will appear in MCU films after Disney debuts

Marvel boss says three new heroes will appear in MCU films after Disney debuts

Marvel boss says three new superheroes will be appearing in future Marvel films..

The studio president has said that the characters will be introduced in Disney+ television shows before showing up in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

No more Spider-Man in Marvel movies? Here’s what you need to know

Speaking…

[msjpegsclass]

Concern - Closed two player roleplay

@worldslastredemption @xxrobotessaxx

Jpeg hadn't heard much from J in a couple days, not since she had been over to drop off a few things at the landing pod. She had been worrying a lot about if J was alright with her side project, but now she had gotten a text saying to bring a harp.

Ms Jpeg didn't have access to the high school side's harps, but she was able to grab a 15 string harp from the elementary band room and had brought it just like J had asked of her. She knocked with her hand that wasn't holding anything on the landing pod door rapidly, worried if J was even still okay.

"What if she is starving because she hasn't come by for oil? Oh dear! " she thought before the teacher pushed her fears away, "And if she has to drink some of my oil, so be it, she's my friend and anything to keep her alive."

Jpeg really cared about the disassembly drone that had tried to kill her years ago in the big arts and crafts store, and she was ready for almost anything J could ask of her. I mean, she was a teacher, she was asked for things all day.

[chrischarambadiaries]

Missionary Accused Of Killing Over 100 Children In Uganda Speaks Out, Calls Accusations Nonsensical, Defamation & Slander

Missionary Accused Of Killing Over 100 Children In Uganda Speaks Out, Calls Accusations Nonsensical, Defamation & Slander

Representatives of an American woman accused of causing the death of unspecified number of children from Busoga, Bugisu and some parts of Buganda sub-regions, have for the first time spoken out on the allegations.

Ms Renee Bach, 28, came to Uganda as a missionary in 2007 and by 2009, she had allegedly veered off her calling and started performing medical procedures on children at her organisation,

[locatechinesetranslators-blog]

Certified Gujarati Translation Services in Dharwad|91-9599356948

Certified Gujarati to English or vice- versa services are importantly used in US, UK, Canada, China, Singapore and other English speaking countries. Our Gujarati or English Native Translator will complete entire translation with double proofreading in target language, afterwards we provide an affidavit with an authorized signature of translators or editors with our company seal whereas mentioned ”correctly translated as per source document provided” by client. INCCS Providing specialized Gujarati Interpreter Dharwad, Gujarati Translator Dharwad, Gujarati  Translator, Gujarati Translation and Interpretation services translation & interpretation services to clients across worldwide since 11+ years while ensuring highest quality of Gujarati Interpreter and manual output of Gujarati Translator. We are equipped with technical Gujarati vocabulary and in-depth knowledge of Gujarati culture and industry thereby ensuring technically correct, contextually accurate and localized content with lowest delivery lead times and cost. We translate over 100 different file formats including text (MS Word, Adobe PDF, etc.), images (JPEG, PNG, etc.) Our Specialization: All our Gujarati Translators are very professional and proficient in Gujarati translation. Before we assign any project to them. Generally, we as Gujarati  team first shortlist the Translator according to the client’s project requirement and then interview and if required, also trained them on project’s related subject matter. Finally Gujarati translators go through our QA process, which shows that they are not only good in translations, but also in subject related assignments and it’s relevant experience. Client’s Feedback: Read the full article

[webdesignersolutions]

Basic host question (I think) related to images and speed - GET request typically delayed ~ 1+ sec via /r/webhosting

Basic host question (I think) related to images and speed - GET request typically delayed ~ 1+ sec

I am working on a client's site that has a number of placed images (not in a carousel or slider), all in jpeg, all ranging from about 40 kb to max of 250 kb. The initial delay for the image request is more or less similar (about 900 ms to about 1.7 s) and the sending/receiving time seems kind of proportional to the size. Most pages are designed to be very visual (images more than graphics), but the home page has the most with around 25 images placed. Overall page loading is not horrible, relatively speaking, and that may be due to the fact that the image requests are mostly consecutive or in parallel.

Since I am trying to optimize the pages for them among other things, I am looking closely at the timeline via the archive (HAR). There are a number of js files that I could wipe, but each one returns maybe 100 ms, or so. The biggest opportunity SEEMS to be the images. I might compress a few more, but the biggest opportunity seems to be that latency to the first byte. Does anyone have thoughts or experience that might help (it is a WordPress site using Avada theme, FWIW):

Could the fact that the image delay seems uniform be tied to the fact that the requests are mostly concurrent?

Is there a host service factor involved (Bluehost, shared hosting)?

FWIW the time to first byte in a handful of tests is typically around 1 s or less. The time to full page is typically between 3.5 s and 7 s through those same tests. In all cases the delay or wait for images in one of the bigger values, and always in the range I listed above (worst case was about 2.2 s delay).

Any input is welcome!

Submitted February 26, 2017 at 11:00AM by Johno413 via reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/webhosting/comments/5wbdal/basic_host_question_i_think_related_to_images_and/?utm_source=ifttt

[cnrgcommons]

Field and GIS Internship

To view this announcement as a PDF, please visit our website: Field and GIS Internship

Location:  Portland, OR

Period of Employment:   Approximately 6 months (April/May – Sept/Oct)

Pay:   $15.00/hour, no benefits                     

Work hours:  9:00 am to 5:30 pm

Work Week:  M-F, some weekends.  Average of 20 hours per week

Positions available: Two

Application deadline: Tuesday, February 7, 2017 by 5:30 pm

Questions:  Contact Mary Logalbo, Urban Conservationist, at internship@wmswcd.org or call (503) 238-4775 x 103

General Summary

West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District is hiring two temporary, at will, non-exempt, 

part-time Field Interns for spring, through fall of 2017. Ideally, one hire will start in April and 

work through September while the second will start in May and work through October. These six-month 

internships are designed to provide support to WMSWCD and experience in the areas of field 

monitoring, invasive species management, habitat restoration, Geographic Information Services (GIS) 

mapping, water quality data collection, stormwater management, forest stewardship and agricultural 

best management practices on private land. The position is a mix of field and regular office work, 

with a majority of work in spring and late summer through early fall occurring outdoors and a 

midsummer period where indoor office work is more common. Field work includes GIS and water quality 

data collection, invasive and native plant inventories, weed control (including use of herbicides), 

and monitoring in the form of vegetation and pollinator surveys. Office work involves data entry, 

mapping with ArcGIS, administrative tasks, special projects and planning involving the natural 

resource  management issues listed above. Candidates should have a strong foundation in plant 

identification and fluency in GIS; applicants should be able to import and manipulate data, create 

shapefiles, produce maps and perform basic GIS analyses.

Job Duration and Schedule

One internship will begin approximately April 3, 2017 and end by September 29, 2017 and the other 

will begin approximately May 1, 2017 and end by October 31, 2017 with overall hours worked not to 

exceed 600 hours/intern. Some flexibility will be allowed for starting and ending dates to 

accommodate school schedules.

Most work weeks will be comprised of 2-3 full days (8 hours each) for an average of 20 hours per 

week. Schedules may vary slightly based on workloads and the needs of the intern.

Who May Apply

The ideal candidate will have a passion for working outdoors and enthusiasm for the District’s 

mission to conserve and protect soil and water resources for people, wildlife, and the environment. 

Successful candidates will be detail oriented, self- motivated, focused and organized, have a 

positive spirit and strong work ethic, and be able to work independently and as a part of a diverse 

team. An enthusiasm to conduct work interactions with diverse communities and individuals in a 

welcoming and respectful way will be exhibited by the ideal candidate.

Essential Functions of the Job

▪ Identifying local native and invasive plant species.

▪ Monitoring and surveying plants and other features in the field.

▪ Treating invasive plants with manual, mechanical and chemical means, including careful 

application of herbicides.

▪ Map creation, interpretation and editing using GIS software.

▪ Data entry and management.

Eligibility Requirements

Recent graduates (within the last 6 months) or active students working toward a vocational, Associate’s degree or greater with course work in natural sciences, environmental education, natural resource management, soils, water quality, agriculture sciences, or a related discipline are welcome to apply.

Required Skills and Abilities

 Experience in collecting field data and maintaining field notes.

 Experience in plant identification.

 Good oral and written communication skills.

 Proficient with Microsoft Suite and ArcGIS Software.

 Willing to pursue an Oregon Department of Agriculture “Public Directly Supervised Trainee” pesticide applicator license. Comfort working with and applying herbicides under the supervision of a licensed herbicide applicator.

 Maintains positive, cooperative relationships with co-workers and conducts work in a professional manner.

 Detail oriented, self- motived and able to work independently and as a part of a diverse team.

 Willingness to work with diverse communities and individuals in a welcoming and respectful way.

Desirable Additional Skills and Abilities

 Proficiency using MS Access.

 Ability to conduct advanced GIS analysis.

 Knowledge or background in forestry, farming and/or habitat restoration.

 Project management experience.

 Understanding of, and experience working with, diverse communities.

Other Duties and Responsibilities

 Meets regularly with Internship Program Supervisor.

 Assists with landowner outreach.

 Assists with educational activities to inform the public on natural resource conservation issues. This may include public speaking at workshops, seminars, fairs, shows and conventions.

 Participates in office meetings with District employees, other agency employees and District board members.

 Communicates and works directly with property owners and operators through face-to-face contact; telephone, written, or email correspondence.

Job Conditions

 This position works both in the field and in the office.

 The fieldwork will include working in and around such locations as farms, ranches and working forests; rivers, streams, and ponds; properties with dense, thorny vegetation; and other areas with steep, slippery, muddy, rocky, or other hazardous terrain. Occasional interactions with farm animals and pets occur while in the field.

 The office work may include working at a desk; using a computer; or working or standing at a table.

 This position requires travel to field sites, workshops, training sessions, plus daytime and evening meetings outside the office. In order to carry out these assigned duties, a valid driver’s license is preferred.

 Some physical exertion may be required during field work such as walking and using or carrying technical or power equipment and hand tools.

 The limited ability to use one’s personal smart phone and/or access a remote computer is preferred.

Compensation

Base pay is $15.00 per hour. Expenses incurred for required job functions, including mileage accrued using a personal vehicle and a $25 per month stipend for use of a personal phone for data collection will be reimbursable. Costs associated with trainings that are related to the position may be covered with pre-approval of Program Supervisor.

How to Apply 

Your application consists of a resume no longer than TWO pages and up to a ONE page cover letter 

describing how your education, experience, talents and interests qualify you and make you a good 

fit for the position. Be sure to address the Eligibility Requirements and the Required Skills and 

Abilities. Your application will not be considered if it is not clear that you meet the Eligibility 

Requirements.   Applicants will be evaluated and ranked for interview purposes based on how well 

the applicant meets the Required Skills and Abilities. As such, your application may not be rated 

to its fullest if it is   unclear in how your knowledge and experience meets the Required Skills 

and Abilities listed above.  Applicants should be prepared to address any Desirable Additional 

Skills and Abilities should they be invited for an interview.

Send your application via email with the subject line: “Internship Application” to 

hiring@wmswcd.org using a file name that begins with your last name for both your resume and cover letter; or alternatively, mail, fax or hand deliver hard copies to:

West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District

Attn: Internship Application

2701 NW Vaughn Street, Suite 450

Portland, Oregon 97210

FAX: (503) 326-3942

Applications must be received by the application deadline, 5:30 pm, February 7, 2017.

For questions about sending in your application, or to request an accommodation so as to access and 

participate in this recruitment, contact Mary Logalbo at internship@wmswcd.org or call (503) 

238-4775, ext 103.

**********

West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District does not discriminate based on any class or 

identity including age, color, disability, gender identity or expression, genetic information, 

marital status, national origin, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and veteran status. The 

District is an equal opportunity employer and service provider. The District makes reasonable 

accommodations for persons with disabilities and special needs so as to provide access to district 

events, materials and services.

West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District is committed to racial diversity, equity, and 

inclusion throughout our organization: in those we serve, in our workforce composition, through the 

contractors we hire, and in those that benefit from our work. We welcome and encourage applications 

from people of color.

For complaints about discrimination, harassment, unequitable treatment and access to district events, materials and services, email info@wmswcd.org or call 503.238.4775.

  FIELD and GIS INTERNSHIP JOB ANNOUNCEMENT

        Location:

Portland, OR

Period of Employment:

Approximately 6 months (April/May – Sept/Oct)

Pay:

$15.00/hour, no benefits

Work hours:

9:00 am to 5:30 pm

Work Week:

M-F, some weekends.  Average of 20 hours per week

Positions available:

Two

Application deadline:

Tuesday, February 7,2017 by 5:30 pm

  Questions:

Contact Mary Logalbo, Urban Conservationist, at internship@wmswcd.org or call (503) 238-4775 x 103 103

  General Summary

West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District is hiring two temporary, at will, non-exempt, part-time Field Interns for spring, through fall of 2017. Ideally, one hire will start in April and work through September while the second will start in May and work through October. These six-month internships are designed to provide support to WMSWCD and experience in the areas of field monitoring, invasive species management, habitat restoration, Geographic Information Services (GIS) mapping, water quality data collection, stormwater management, forest stewardship and agricultural best management practices on private land. The position is a mix of field and regular office work, with a majority of work in spring and late summer through early fall occurring outdoors and a midsummer period where indoor office work is more common.  Field work includes GIS and water quality data collection, invasive and native plant inventories, weed control (including use of herbicides), and monitoring in the form of vegetation and pollinator surveys. Office work involves data entry, mapping with ArcGIS, administrative tasks, special projects and planning involving the natural resource management issues listed above. Candidates should have a strong foundation in plant identification and fluency in GIS; applicants should be able to import and manipulate data, create shapefiles, produce maps and perform basic GIS analyses.

  Job Duration and Schedule

One internship will begin approximately April 3, 2017 and end by September 29, 2017 and the other will begin approximately May 1, 2017 and end by October 31, 2017 with overall hours worked not to exceed 600 hours/intern. Some flexibility will be allowed for starting and ending dates to accommodate school schedules.

Most work weeks will be comprised of 2-3 full days (8 hours each) for an average of 20 hours per week.  Schedules may vary slightly based on workloads and the needs of the intern.

  Who May Apply

The ideal candidate will have a passion for working outdoors and enthusiasm for the District’s mission to conserve and protect soil and water resources for people, wildlife, and the environment. Successful candidates will be detail oriented, self- motivated, focused and organized, have a positive sprit and strong work ethic, and be able to work independently and as a part of a diverse team.  An enthusiasm to conduct work interactions with diverse communities and individuals in a welcoming and respectful way will be exhibited by the ideal candidate.

  Essential Functions of the Job

§  Identifying local native and invasive plant species.

§  Monitoring and surveying plants and other features in the field.

§  Treating invasive plants with manual, mechanical and chemical means, including careful application of herbicides.

§  Map creation, interpretation and editing using GIS software.

§  Data entry and management.

Eligibility Requirements

Recent graduates (within the last 6 months) or active students working toward a vocational, Associate’s degree or greater with course work in natural sciences, environmental education, natural resource management, soils, water quality, agriculture sciences, or a related discipline are welcome to apply.

  Required Skills and Abilities

§  Experience in collecting field data and maintaining field notes.

§  Experience in plant identification.

§  Good oral and written communication skills.

§  Proficient with Microsoft Suite and ArcGIS Software.

§  Willing to pursue an Oregon Department of Agriculture “Public Directly Supervised Trainee” pesticide applicator license. Comfort working with and applying herbicides under the supervision of a licensed herbicide applicator.

§  Maintains positive, cooperative relationships with co-workers and conducts work in a professional manner.

§  Detail oriented, self- motived and able to work independently and as a part of a diverse team.

§  Willingness to work with diverse communities and individuals in a welcoming and respectful way.

  Desirable Additional Skills and Abilities

§  Proficiency using MS Access.

§  Ability to conduct advanced GIS analysis.

§  Knowledge or background in forestry, farming and/or habitat restoration.

§  Project management experience.

§  Understanding of, and experience working with, diverse communities. 

  Other Duties and Responsibilities

§  Meets regularly with Internship Program Supervisor.

§  Assists with landowner outreach.

§  Assists with educational activities to inform the public on natural resource conservation issues. This may include public speaking at workshops, seminars, fairs, shows and conventions.

§  Participates in office meetings with District employees, other agency employees and District board members.

§  Communicates and works directly with property owners and operators through face-to-face contact; telephone, written, or email correspondence.

  Job Conditions

§  This position works both in the field and in the office.

§  The fieldwork will include working in and around such locations as farms, ranches and working forests; rivers, streams, and ponds; properties with dense, thorny vegetation; and other areas with steep, slippery, muddy, rocky, or other hazardous terrain.  Occasional interactions with farm animals and pets occur while in the field.

§  The office work may include working at a desk; using a computer; or working or standing at a table.

§  This position requires travel to field sites, workshops, training sessions, plus daytime and evening meetings outside the office.  In order to carry out these assigned duties, a valid driver’s license is preferred.

§  Some physical exertion may be required during field work such as walking and using or carrying technical or power equipment and hand tools.

§  The limited ability to use one’s personal smart phone and/or access a remote computer is preferred.

  Compensation

Base pay is $15.00 per hour. Expenses incurred for required job functions, including mileage accrued using a personal vehicle and a $25 per month stipend for use of a personal phone for data collection will be reimbursable. Costs associated with trainings that are related to the position may be covered with pre- approval of Program Supervisor.

How to Apply

Your application consists of a resume no longer than TWO pages and up to a ONE page cover letter describing how your education, experience, talents and interests qualify you and make you a good fit for the position. Be sure to address the Eligibility Requirements and the Required Skills and Abilities. Your application will not be considered if it is not clear that you meet the Eligibility Requirements.   Applicants will be evaluated and ranked for interview purposes based on how well the applicant meets the Required Skills and Abilities.  As such, your application may not be rated to its fullest if it is unclear in how your knowledge and experience meets the Required Skills and Abilities listed above.   Applicants should be prepared to address any Desirable Additional Skills and Abilities should they be invited for an interview.

  Send your application via email with the subject line: “Internship Application” to hiring@wmswcd.org using a file name that begins with your last name for both your resume and cover letter; or alternatively, mail, fax or hand deliver hardcopies to:

  West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District

Attn: Internship Application

2701 NW Vaughn Street, Suite 450

Portland, Oregon 97210

FAX: (503) 326-3942

  Applications must be received by the application deadline, 5:30 pm, February 7, 2017.

  For questions about sending in your application, or to request an accommodation so as to access and participate in this recruitment, contact Mary Logalbo at internship@wmswcd.org or call (503) 238-4775, ext 103.

  **********

  West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District does not discriminate based on any class or identity including age, color, disability, gender identity or expression, genetic information, marital status, national origin, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and veteran status. The District is an equal opportunity employer and service provider. The District makes reasonable accommodations for persons with disabilities and special needs so as to provide access to district events, materials and services.

  West Multnomah Soil & Water Conservation District is committed to racial diversity, equity, and inclusion throughout our organization: in those we serve, in our workforce composition, through the contractors we hire, and in those that benefit from our work. We welcome and encourage applications from people of color.

  For complaints about discrimination, harassment, unequitable treatment and access to district events, materials and services, email info@wmswcd.org or call 503.238.4775.

[msjpegsclass]

Between Classes Drabble - Oops cute romantic fluff XP

Ms Jpeg had sent out the kindergartener drones to recess, it was a lot safer now for them to play outside since she had essentially befriended all the Disassembly Drones. She sat at her desk working on grading some spelling practicing, putting little stickers next to the right answers and writing corrections in purple pen but still putting a smiley and a question mark beside the work because she didn't like putting 'x' marks for students that young.

She liked this teaching gig, she had been at it for at least a decade and a half and life couldn't be better, especially when she looked up from her papers to see the Surveyor Drone she knew for over 15 years. "Hey, Zoey," she giggled happily as she set down the pen.

The much taller drone greeted back warmly, "Heya Jpeg," before she walked over and kissed Jpeg on the forehead, her modified tail swishing softly. She set down a mug she brought in beside Jpeg. "I noticed you haven't come down to the break room in a while... It's not good to over work without drinking anything," Zoey worriedly soothed, placing her right hand to her wife's LED forehead, "You'll overheat, and that'd be really bad."

Jpeg accepted the mug of liquid. "Cocoa butter oil! My favourite!" she exclaimed before she stood up and side hugged Zoey. "Thank you for thinking of me. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie"

Their little cozy moment was interrupted by the bell ringing.

"Oh dear, I'm not ready to start the science lesson!" Jpeg gasped before she started gathering the paints she had thawed to show how to mix to make different colours.

Zoey put her hands gingerly on Jpeg's shoulders and looked at her beloved teacher drone. "How about you sit this one out, Peggie. I got this, okie?"

Jpeg nodded but kissed Zoey softly on the lips quickly before saying, "Go get em, jackrabbit"

As the young drones came back into the classroom and saw Zoey, they ran over and cheered.

"MISS BUNNY IS BACK!"

"WE GET TO LEARN WITH ZOEY!"

"YAY YAY YAY!" And a chorus of other happy interjections were heard from the crowd of young robots.

Jpeg sat at her desk grading the papers, occasionally looking up to watch her girlfriend teaching kids how to mix paints to get more colours. "I love that lady,"

The End