#mrs lazzara one chance :(

[brainfreeze27]

[fivestoriesfallingg]

one chance mr lazzara just one pleasepleasepleaseple

[fallinfor-youreyes]

Why Do We Run

The five times Benvolio says I love you, and the one time Rosaline says it back.

Ao3

I.

“I love you.”

Rosaline tries not to cringe at Benvolio Montague’s words. Which is hard, considering they are holding hands in front of their entire 8th grade class.

“And I, you.”

He makes a face at her words, partially covered by his too long hair.

That’s it. The scene should be over. It should be some other students turn to make complete fools of themselves in front of the class.

She should not still be holding his hand.

“Umm.” Benvolio coughs, and turns toward their teacher. Mrs. Lazzara sighs before clapping her hands together, the rest of the class following in unison. Benvolio rips his hands away from hers and stalks back to his seat.                

Someone wolf whistles when Rosaline sits down, and it takes everything in her being to not throw a book at them.

Two months. She has two months left of middle school, two months left of acting out scenes for English class, two months until her chances of ever being paired up with Benvolio Montague again fall to less than 5%.

“I love you!” the next pair presenting says. The partner blushes accordingly, and bat their eye lashes. That was how the scene was supposed to look. Maybe now Mrs. Lazzara would stop pairing her with her sworn enemy.

She can feel Benvolio’s eyes burning into the back of her head, but she refuses to look at him. Instead she crosses the day off her calendar and tries not to break another pencil.

II.

She really should have known better than to think prom would actually be fun. Juliet left to dance with her date less than 20 minutes in. Isabella was skirted away from some beautiful girl about 40 minutes later.  

It didn’t bother her that she didn’t have a date – she did say no to Romeo Montague when he asked – but what did bother her was being alone. The slow dances had started and all her friends had someone to dance with leaving her alone eating cake while some John Legend song plays in the background.

               The bright lights of the hallway almost blind her. She needs out of the ballroom, out of the dance, out of the crowd. Rosaline needs a minute to compose herself. She has a week left of high school, and then she would be done with Verona high and everyone in it. Except for her cousin and her sister and Isabella, but everyone else, she never wants to see again.

She can hear the song change from the restroom, and she knows Juliet will be looking for her in a minute, but she doesn’t want to go back yet. She runs her hands under the cool water, trying to calm herself down.

Her phone dings, and she sighs. It dings 4 more times, and she tells Juliet she’s in the bathroom to just give her a moment.

The music gets louder the second she opens the door back into the too bright hallway. She closes her eyes, ignoring her phone for another moment, readying herself to go back in.

“I love you, Rosaline.”

The words stop her in her tracks. She knows that voice. She also knows that is the last thing Benvolio Montague would ever say.

“Do you really think that will work?”

Rosaline knows that voice too, and it takes all her power not to groan and let the boys know she is there.

“I don’t know Rom. That’s how it works in the movies.” Benvolio says. She moves closer to the voices, discovering the two Montagues in a hallway off to the side. Benvolio’s the one facing her, and his eyes catch hers over Romeo’s head.

“Where is Mercutio when you need him?” Romeo says. He hasn’t noticed Rosaline yet, and Ben moves his eyes in a way telling her to get away while she has the chance.

“Probably dancing with his boyfriend.”

Rosaline gathers her dress in her hands and starts making her way back to the ballroom.

“You sound bitter.” Romeo says, and Rosaline has to agree with him.

“Yeah, I’m bitter he left me alone with you.” She can hear his eye roll in his voice, and for some stupid reason it makes her smile.

“Wow. Wait, what are you looking at?” Romeo’s voice gets slightly louder.

“No one.”

“Liar.”

She hears footsteps, and she knows she going to be caught because her heels make it nearly impossible to walk fast, and her skirt slows her down even more.

“Rosaline.” Romeo’s voice cracks over her name, and she can’t very well ignore him without being the world’s biggest bitch, so she goes to turn when someone collides into her.

“Ros! There you are I thought you drowned in the bathroom!” Juliet says, eyes falling on the boys behind her. Rosaline watches as Romeo turns from her to Juliet, and his face changes, just slightly, but enough for Rosaline to know something has happened. Benvolio watches too, a look of horror crossing his features.

“Hi. I’m Romeo.”

“I know who you are.” Juliet scoffs, rolling her eyes him. But Rosaline can see the slight color in her cheeks, and she thinks maybe, just maybe, she’s been saved from Romeo’s confession of love.

Benvolio sighs at the pair as he brushes past them. He’s grown since middle school. He’s taller than her now, hair cut short and reaching for the ceiling, red bow tie open, contrasting against the black dress shirt he has on. It’s a good look for him.

“Thanks. For trying to save me.” She says as he passes. It might be the first nice thing she’s said to Benvolio Montague since middle school.

“No problem, Capulet.” He offers her a barely there smile, before disappearing back into the ballroom.

She hears Juliet giggle and Rosaline grabs her cousins arm and drags her back to the ballroom. She’s had enough of Montague’s to last her a life time.

III.

“Oh, come on Capulet!”

“No. Leave me alone Montague I mean it.” She turns on her heel, turns away from Benvolio. They had ended up at the same college, and somehow, even though there were nearly 10,000 students, he was still able to find her and bother her.

Their arguments had become the stuff of legends, debates in classes, shouting matches on the quad, banishments from the library. It was like his entire life revolved around ruining hers.

“But I love you!” The words ring out on the quad, and nearly everyone stops their conversations. Rosaline can feel all their eyes on her. She slowly turns to him, finding a triumphant smirk on his lips.

She stalks back to him, anger rippling through her.

“We need to talk about this Capulet. Our cousins are dating and I know you hate it as much I do.”

The slap echoes around the entire quad. Someone cheers.

“I’m not going to sacrifice my cousin’s happiness because of your hatred for my family. No matter how much I don’t like it.” She takes a step away from him. “And next time you think about trying to embarrass me to get my attention, I’ll do a lot worse than slap you.”

He nods at her, holding his cheek, but there’s something akin to pride in eyes. She ignores it, walking away from him again, glaring at anyone that dares to stare at her.

Her phone vibrates, 4 hours later, once she’s texted Juliet again warning her about the Montagues, once she’s finished her homework, and once she’s replied to all the messages on Facebook about his confession of love and the slap heard around the campus.

I’m sorry

She has Benvolio’s number from the time when Romeo showed up to her room, drunk and tearful over Juliet, and she needed him to pick up his cousin. She had kept it in case of emergencies, and it seemed he had kept hers for when he fucked up.

Just don’t do it again.

Instead of answering he sends her a dog video and she tells him to fuck off, but adds a smiley face for good measure.

She never expected Benvolio Montague to be an ally in anything, but their mutual dislike of each other made them equally upset about their cousins’ romance. And they still fought at every corner, but every once and a while, usually on a weekend when they ended up at the same party thanks to their cousins, they would stop, he would call a truce and buy her a drink, and for a half hour they would be civil.

The fact that he could still make her smile, after what happened on the quad only made her realize that under different circumstances, under different last names, they probably could have been friends.

IV.

Juliet sighs, and grips Romeo’s hand tighter. The chapel is dingy, with the part of the sign falling off, but the two love birds are looking at it like it’s the most beautiful place in the world.

“Are we really going to allow them to do this?” Ben whispers, watching his cousin talking to the minister.

“Do we really have a choice?” Rosaline answers.

Romeo passes over the money, and Juliet’s entire being lights up, and for a moment, Rosaline forgets who they are. They are just four people, two of them so in love that they are going to elope in Vegas, and Juliet’s smile is all she needs to know there is no way she is going to stop this.

“I don’t think I could.” Ben says. He bumps his hip against hers, before smiling at her as he walks over to Romeo so they can start the ceremony.

They stand across from each other as their cousins say their vows, and he mouths the words I love you to her when Romeo says it to Juliet, with an eye roll and a smirk on his face.

They find their way to a club after the ceremony is over, and Romeo requests a slow song for them to dance too. Rosaline stands by the bar, watching her cousin laugh as her husband spins her in circles, and she’s filled with a sense of joy over the whole thing. It’s going to be a mess once their parents find out, but she’s never seen Juliet so happy.

“I love you.”

Ben’s arm slings his arm around her shoulder as he finds his way next to her. She turns to him, a question on her lips, but he just takes a sip of her drink.

“I’m testing out a theory.” He says in response to her look, ordering them both a round of shots.

“Which is?”

“It will feel different when you mean it.”

“Ben…”

“I told my last girlfriend I loved her, because I thought that was what I should do. Then she broke my heart. But I didn’t really love her. I mean, look at those two. You can tell they are in love, without even knowing them. I want to know how it will feel when I’m in love as they are.” He takes a shot, and drops his hand from her shoulder.

“So, I’m your guinea pig?” she asks.

“You know you mean more to me than that, Ros.” He presses a sloppy kiss to her cheek before melting into the crowd, leaving her stuck to the spot, wondering exactly what he means.

V.

The light filters into his bedroom, waking her up. His hand tightens on her waist, stopping her from moving.

She shouldn’t have spent the night. It was one of their rules. They had been sleeping together for months, and their rules made sure it became nothing else.

Rosaline doesn’t want to know what it feels like to wake up in Ben’s arms. She doesn’t want to know what he looks like first thing in the morning, doesn’t want to know if they’ll share lazy kisses or if he’ll attempt to make her breakfast.

Because if she knows that, the string holding her heart together will snap. If she knows what it’s like to be with Benvolio for more than just sex, she knows she will never recover.

“It’s too damn early Capulet.” He tugs her backward until she’s once again flush against him. She twists in his arms so she can look at him.

“That was your excuse for getting me to stay the night.”

He pops open a single eye, and pulls her forward, capturing her mouth in a kiss. “If it makes you stay…”

He kisses her until she can’t breathe, and his hand dances up skin, underneath his shirt. He sighs, pulling back, knotting a hand in her hair.

“God, Ros. I think I love you.”

Time freezes. She suddenly can’t breathe. This is different from any other time he had said those stupid words. She can feel the difference. Like he said at Romeo and Juliet’s wedding.

“Ros.” He searches her face, but she moves away from him, off the bed. She starts gathering her things, pulling on her shorts, searching for her bra.

“I’m sorry. I forgot, I had plans with Livia, she’s probably going to crazy, I –” she pauses, a moment, his hand reaching out for her.      

“Ros, wait.”

She pulls away from him, reaching for her shoes.

“I have to go.” She stops looking for her bra and grabs her phone, walking out of his apartment before he can say anything else.

It’s her fault. She knows it’s her fault. She was the one who kissed him first, all those months ago, at Romeo and Juliet’s wedding reception Mr. Capulet insisted on throwing. She was the one who called him again, two weeks later because she tipsy and lonely. She was the one who came up with the rules, she was the one who broke them.

Benvolio Montague told her he loved her and she ran away.

“Ros, what the hell?” Juliet almost stumbles over her as she walks through the door, bags of groceries falling to the ground.

“Hi.” She says, picking up the dropped food, helping carry it to the kitchen.

Juliet waits until everything is safely on the counter before turning to her cousin. “Want to explain why you are sitting on my floor, attempting to kill me?” For a second, she looks exactly like her mother, about to demand an explanation for the girls being out to late, or how Rosaline had enough money to buy a new dress or why Livia was dating the man she had chosen for Juliet. But when she sees her, Juliet melts, rushing forward to pull her into a hug.

“What happened?”

“Ben,” she swallows, trying to collect her thoughts. “He told me he loved me.”

Juliet gasps, and pulls herself back. “What?”

Rosaline closes her eyes trying to steady herself. But she can’t. She’s been unsteady since he kissed her. She feels like she’s been unsteady ever since Benvolio Montague entered her life.

“We’ve been sleeping together for months, and this morning he told me he loved me.” She rushes it out in one breath, only opening her eyes once she gives Juliet a moment to take it in.

“Oh.” Juliet says. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”

“Umm. I kind of ran away.”

Juliet sucks in her teeth. She holds out a bag to Rosaline. They unpack the groceries silently, Juliet thinking about what to say.

“Now, tell me. Do you love him back?”

That’s the question that Rosaline had been afraid of. Feelings are complicated and messy. The last time she gave her heart to someone, he left, without so much as a goodbye, offering an apology through his sister.

Love made things brighter, more alive, but it also made everything hurt.

Because if she lets herself love Benvolio Montague, she’ll give him the power to break her.

“I – umm. Jules, I can’t get hurt again.”

“That’s not a no. Ros, love is, it’s magical and wonderful, but it also is work. Believe me, the first-time Romeo told me he loved me, I was ready to say goodbye to him forever, but look at us now Ros. We’re married. Living together, making it work. If you’re too afraid to love, you’ll never find it again.” Juliet grabs her hand. “You love him too, don’t you?”

It takes all her power to not break down crying in front of her cousin.

“You wouldn’t be acting like this if you didn’t.”

I.

Sometimes, Rosaline hates when her cousin is right. Most times, it leads to her doing something spontaneous and reckless.

Like now.

Standing outside of the very apartment she ran out of that morning, holding a bouquet of flowers and a pack of beer. She doesn’t even know what she’s doing, if he’ll even let her in, but if she doesn’t try, she knows it’s going to hurt for the rest of her life.

The door swings open, and he stands in front of her, freshly showered and shirtless. She watches the muscle in his jaw jump.

“What?” There’s a poison in his words, one that feels like a much-deserved slap in the face. She goes to open her mouth, but he holds up a hand.

“Did you – did you buy me flowers?”

She nods, holding them out to him. “And beer. And an apology.”

He steps aside so she can walk in.

“No one’s ever bought me flowers before.” He says, a smile teasing his lips.

“Umm.” She doesn’t really know what to say. She hadn’t thought past the part of him opening the door.

He delicately places the flowers on the counter and turns to her. Her mouth goes dry, and her palms begin to sweat.

“I found your bra.”

“I’m sorry.”

They both speak at the same time, and she cringes, because this worse than she imagined it would be.

“You can go first.” He says.

She inhales a breath and takes a step closer to him. “I’m sorry. About running away this morning. I wasn’t ready for it. I’ve always guarded my heart, and then Escalus shattered it last year. And me and you, we’re a bad example of a decent relationship and I wasn’t prepared. But that doesn’t mean it was okay for me to run away from you.”

He leans back on the counter, crossing his arms.

“But that doesn’t mean I want what we have to stop. In fact, I would like it to continue.”

He looks confused, and she realizes that she isn’t making a lot of sense, and whatever she’s saying in no way makes up for how she reacted when they woke up.

She sighs and moves until she’s less than a breath away from him. “Ben, what I’m trying to say is, this morning, you said you think you may love me, and I freaked.” She pauses, and tries to stop her hands from shaking. “But, it was wrong of me. And If you’ll have me, I am falling in love with you too.”

She bites her lips together, waiting for him to say something, anything.

“It was a bit of an asshole dropping it on you like that. I probably should have asked you on a real date first.” His hand comes up to cup her cheek.

“A real date might be nice.” She agrees. Her gaze drops down to his lips for a split second. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

She nods, bringing herself even closer to him.

“Wanna go on a real date? Tonight?” He asks. “Now?” His nose bumps against hers.

“Yes.” She takes a shaky breath, curling her hand around his neck. “Whenever you want.”

“Okay.” He kisses her, soft and quick. “Rose. I love you.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “Shit, sorry, pretend I d- “

She presses a finger against his lips, silencing him.

“I love you too.”