#mr. wentz you will always be famous

[musicalmoritz]

Take This To Your Grave is such an Aoinene coded album

[mamawasatesttube]

Do people ever just listen to baby annihilation by fob and when the "The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath" lyric rolls think "wow, what a sick Tim Drake reference mr. Wentz :)". It's me, I'm people.

LDSKJFLKDSJFKLDS sooo true. young justice (1998) #7 you will ALWAYS be famous!!!

[setting-in-a-honeymoon]

@shark-myths tagged me to answer a bunch of deep questions, and let me start by telling you that I am flattered someone as cool as her thought to tag me, so thank you shark! If you guys want to, I tag @stereostatic @xylobones @justkindaconfused and @mmetacarpals.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

Black pen, hands down. It’s just cleaner, you know? It’s Crisp.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

City. I live in Tennessee, and it’s pretty, but I don’t want to live here forever. I can, however, see myself coming back every once in a while to galavant among the kudzu and listen to the cicadas scream.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be?

I wish I had more cooking and baking skills. I used to cook with my mom a lot, but then I started getting *shudders* homework and I didn’t have as much time. I really should start cooking and baking with her again.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

Yes. So much. And cream.

5. What was your favorite book as a child?

I...actually can’t remember if I had a favorite book? I loved the Magic Tree House series, and then in middle school I binge-read all seven of the Chronicles of Narnia, which I also loved, but all the favorite books I can think of now are books I read much more recently.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Showers. I feel awkward in baths, cause I never fill them up enough, so then I’m just laying half-exposed in lukewarm water. I think if I ever have a deep claw foot tub I’ll try taking baths again and see how I feel. Plus, in the shower I can re-enact scenes from the music video for “All These Things that I’ve Done” by The Killers.

7. If you could be one mythical creature, what would it be?

Just one? There’s so many I would love to be: fae, nymph, mermaid, vampire, werewolf, etc.

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper. I like making notes in books, and I think it adds character to see my own handwriting/squiggly lines on the pages. Even if my handwriting is atrocious. <3

9. What is your favorite item of clothing?

My MANIA tour jacket. It’s comfy and cozy but also badass and makes me feel powerful.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

Okay, so my full name is a little too Southern debutant for my liking, but everyone calls me Gracie, and I don’t mind that. I sometimes wish I had a slightly more ambiguous name, but nothing too different? Like “Gray” and “Grayson” have a certain appeal to me.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Pete Wentz.

12. Would you like to be famous, and if so, what for?

Yes, but not like a huge celebrity. Intimate fandom type fan base. And I would LOVE to be a famous author. That’s my goal in life.

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

On occasion. Most of the time when I sleep, I sleep like the dead, but if my anxiety’s bad or I watched something scary that day then I’ll wake up a few times in the night.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person?

I think I have the potential to be. I definitely have my moments.

15. Which element best represents you?

I think earth?

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Someone I used to be really close to, but we had a kind of an unspoken friend break-up and we drifted apart for a while. I want us to be closer friends again.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

My brother, who’s currently at my dad’s for the weekend.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory?

My mom runs a lot, and when I was little she would take me with her and push me in a jogging stroller. The parks she ran in were always really nice, and sometimes she would run in the evening while fireflies were out. I would just sit in the stroller and listen to Rascal Flatts on a portable CD player, but those moments always feel very magical when I think about them.

19. What is the strangest thing you’ve eaten?

I ate popcorn off my school’s football field on a dare. Oh, and dandelions. 0/10, do not recommend- they’re nothing but grit.

20. What are you most thankful for?

Having family members that support me.

21. Do you like spicy food?

I can’t handle anything spicy. Even Chipotle makes my eyes water. :(

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

Nope.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yes! Most of my journals are poetry, I think, but I love the feeling of filling a notebook with my thoughts.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?

Pencil when I’m writing, because sometimes my letters come out wonky and I have to fix them Right Then, but if I’m annotating I use a pen because it looks better.

25. What is your star sign?

Virgo

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy?

Crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

That I was a smart, accomplished person who was fun to hang out with.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read?

I do! The last book I read was The Best American Poetry of 2015.

29. How do you show someone you love them?

Compliments, cuddles, and showing them things I think they would like.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

No. I don’t drink things very fast, so it would just become a gross, watered down mess.

31. What are you afraid of?

Breaking down and losing control.

32. What is your favorite scent?

Bonfire smoke

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

Depends on how I know them. If it’s like, a parent of a friend, I’ll say “Mrs./Mr. [insert first name].”

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

However felt right, I guess.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

Pools, I think. I don’t have to worry about being swept away by waves in a pool.

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Put it in the bank.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star?

Not that I can remember.

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

Your worth isn’t measured by how productive you are or how strong you are. It’s okay to break down and take mental health days. Those messages weren’t engraved in me very well, and dealing with the repercussions isn’t fun.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

My brother’s birthday in Roman numerals on the back of my neck. I also know I want to get Orion tattooed on the inside of my bicep.

40. What can you hear now?

Bugs outside and my mom and her boyfriend talking downstairs.

41. Where do you feel the safest?

In my room, and the passenger seat of my best friend’s car.

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

My anxiety

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

Either late 90s/early two thousands, or Ancient Greece. I want to join a cult of Artemis or Dionysus.

44. What is your most used emoji?

Crying laughing face

45. Describe your self using one word.

Chill.

46. What do you regret the most?

Not nourishing new friendships the way I should have.

47. Last movie you saw?

I think it might’ve been Jerry McGuire? I’m not sure. Time is a blur.

48. Last TV show you watched?

Grimm, a paranormal(?) detective show based on the Brothers Grimm fairytales.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning.

I’m actually going to use this to geek out about Latin for a second. One of my favorite tricks in Latin is that you can add the suffix “ifer” to basically any noun to mean [noun]-bringer. Like melifer means honey-bringer, and noctifer means night-bringer. I don’t know why, but I love it.

This took a while, but it was super fun. Thanks again @shark-myths for tagging me! :)

[phil-and-a-corgi]

highschool bandfic in a nutshell - chapter 2

chapter 1

rating: t/m (swearing and also irene’s writing.)

word count: um i dont know a lot ( 2083 )

summary: uhh we have that on the first page

here if you want to read it here then here you go materinos(doesn’t include behind the scenes bants though

here read it on google docs yeah i know so professional(this one has behind the scenes banter)

SECOND CHAPTER (2)

(written by renee @dan-and-a-shibe - pete’s pov)

after finally putting on my eyeliner (i had no time to do it this morning and i looked like a garbage can filled with shit on fire) i hopped off the sink counter. sighing and putting my MAC charcoal liner back into my bag.i dabbed just a wee bit of eyeshadow because WHY THE FUCK NOT. the bell rang, signalling that i was late for first period. why do i let a bell, a mere beep for 5 seconds control where i go and when i go. it just shows how even though everyone tries to be themselves that everyone ends up being dragged by the trends of society. so i decided to sit in the background and look through tumblr. on my phone. ten minutes of scrolling through poetry and kittens. i should get going now. so i did. i walked into mr armstrong’s class.

“mr wentz may i ask why you’re late.” he asked, jokingly in a teacher’s voice. “sorry it’s required to ask that” he whispered, winking at the class.

“i know why, because he was busy being a GAYLORD”(dh quote) that try hard kid justin bieber teased.

“ok justin please explain how your bleached hair isn’t gayer than his amazing eyeliner.” mr amstrong retorted back as the whole class “oohed” at justin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(written by Irene - @feckboy69-aol - frank’s pov)

Fuck Ms. O-Conner. Fuck her class. It's the only class that I don't have with my beloved Gee and the rest of the guys I hung out with and the only class where the teacher actually expects me to do shit. Like okay, maybe there’s some nice chicks in this class and I sit in the back next to a window where I can stare out of and think of my beloved, beautiful Gee, but so what? Lorde’s (yeah, that's what her preferred name was, what a joke) a fucking bore. Honestly, so would this school be, if not for my beloved, precious, beautiful Gee and the shit going on with Ryan and Beebs’ tea drama. Oh, that and the whole of Beaver’s crowd; it was fun watching them get owned by literally everyone here.

Anyway, English class. Lorde Bitchface was screaming about the importance of “putting emotion into your poems” and using “meaningful symbolism” to give your writing “depth” like the edgy bitch she was, so I just tuned her ugly mug out as usual, grabbing my notebook and turning to a fresh page. I gripped the #2 mechanical pencil in my hands and let my mind wander and think about my beloved, adorable, precious, and beautiful Gee, which wasn't very hard. I thought about the last time we had made out (in the bathroom near Bitchface’s class in the stall that no one used) and let my hand draw what I thought. I never was a good artist, but my beloved, handsome, adorable, precious, and beautiful Gee had taught me a couple things (some about art, some about other things), so I had become pretty good. I concentrated for a good 5-7 minutes on the drawing, making every line count, and then smirked to myself at the finished masterpiece. It was stunning; well Gee was.

“Ah… Mr. Iero, why don't you tell us?” said Lorde Bitchface, looking at me with that stupid fucking teacher look that Mr. Armstrong had copied perfectly from her and would use to joke around. But I, being me, tried to pass it off with a smartass answer, something I always did that got on the bitch’s nerves.

“See now I would, but I don't do things like that for free,” I said, giving her a mischievous look. Several girls in front of me (except Hayley, that sassy lassy, who just rolled her eyes and went back the crap that Bitchface was teaching) turned around and giggled, playing with their hair in a vain attempt to try and get my attention. They knew about Gee and me; the whole school did (that's a story for another time), but they still thought they could get me. But I played along anyway, winking at them and giving them the Frank Iero Famous smoulder. The girls seemed impressed, but Bitchface clearly wasn't, her ugly face (okay, I knew she wasn't ugly, she probably got a lot of action actually with that figure, but I despised her so fuck off) morphing into one of disgusting bitch anger, her nose and eyebrows scrunched up and her lips pursed into a tight, white line. I knew she was about to blow, when a kid sitting all the way up in the front who I didn't even know existed until he spoke his next words (that would definitely be his last if I ever found him alone in a dark hallway, by the way) said, “He's being inappropriate and drawing repulsing images in his notebook, Ms. Lorde. I saw him when I went to sharpen my pencil, Ms. Lorde,”

He then turned around and smirked at me, his wavy ginger hair following him as he did, an aura of smugness about him that I did not appreciate.

I saw the anger drain from Lorde Bitchface’s face and have it replaced with a look of calmness that was actually more efficient in scaring people than her anger.

Fucking asshole, I thought, momentarily losing my cool before reminding myself that I was Frank Iero and bitches wished they could kiss the ground I walked on with their crusty-ass, chapped as fuck lips.

So when that fucking whore of a teacher gave me detention, I simply smiled and said a cheeky, “Can't get enough of me as it is, Lorde? Not that I can't see why you wouldn't want more of this,” running my hands through my hair, knowing that this was definitely gonna make the ugly hag throw a fit, which would be far more amusing than if I had just accepted the offer of yet another detention.

It worked; I got sent to the principal's office, but like hell I was actually gonna go there. I smiled to myself as I walked outside the door, giving Bitchface a cheeky salute as I went out, not staying long enough for her to scream more shit at me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(written by renee @dan-and-a-shibe - ray’s pov)

geez well this is frank's seventh detention this week and it's only wednesday. how is that even possible. well, lorde's most recent detention got him a saturday detention for the whole day and i knew he was supposed to go hang out with gee. gerard would be heartbroken if he couldn't make it to their next date. they have date night in saturday. i had to convince lorde to get him out of detention. she hadn't hated me yet, so i had a chance. while we were supposed to be writing deep poetry, i went up to her desk.

                 “hey um, ms lorde, uh sorry about frank. his family isn't really okay at the moment, and well, he's been acting up. more than usual. his parents have been really hard on him, especially with the detentions. i hope you can withdraw the multiple detentions from the past three days. don't mention this to him, or anyone else. please.” truth was that franks family wasn't doing to well but they weren't being hard on him, they didn't care anymore.

          lorde paused for a moment. “ok then, ill withdraw the detentions. only for this week. why don't you go down to the office and tell him this detentions are withdrawn.” i knew i could do it. most ladies have more vulnerable emotions, they’re more sensitive. and that's why women are so great. and now he only had three after school detentions..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(written by Irene - @feckboy69-aol - tyler’s pov)

It was lunch for the Sophomores, so as usual, I was trying to find my best fren Josh Dun. It was strange, he wasn't anywhere to be seen, when usually I could spot his vibrant colored hair in any crowd (it was a bright yellow today). So when I entered the large circular shaped cafeteria, and didn't see him, I started to panic a bit.

He was there in the morning, we walked here together, he was there in first period, I saw him when I went to go to the bathroom, he was there during third period because I was there with him, oh no, he got kidnaped… he got bullied he's in a locker somewhere stuck I have to go, he's hurt I have to sav-

“Tyler!” I heard someone scream from behind me, interrupting my very important thoughts about Jishwa. I turned around in pure panic, ready for the news that was going to be solemnly sorrowful; news about Jishwa’s untimely death.

Alas, it was only Jenna Joseph Black, a pleasant surprise at that. I smiled in spite of my internal mental struggle, watching Jenna smiling and running up to me. The cafeteria was now starting to fill up, with cliques of people banding together in their own respectable tables, as usual.

Jenna grinned at me, giving me a friendly greeting. I didn't want her to get worried for my stupid overthinking habit. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder, leading me to our lunch table which consisted of me, Jish, her, Hayley (Kiyoko) Adam, Jack, and Ryan. The others weren't there yet, me and Jen usually arrived early, Josh not too far behind us, with the rest walking together, usually bringing some mundane news about whatever they considered important in their lives. Usual conversations involved Jack and his frens coming in with their loud but awkward selves, Hayley not too far behind them, her hands crossed in silent disapprovement at almost everyone and everything. They all would then come in to our table, interrupting the meaningful conversations that Jen, Jish and I would be having, usually conversations about the possibility (or plausibility) of whether coconut sharks could or not exist, (if they did exist, where would they be swimming?) with talk about the latest song from so-and-so’s band or whether Ryan and Brendon would ever get back together, or at least make up.

But that's not what exactly happened today because Jen, ever the one to notice and care, gave me a caring concerned look that depicted exactly how much she cared and was concerned about me and Jish, her eyes gleaming in the bright-lighted cafeteria, her mouth morphing into a depressing frown.

“Where's Jish?” She inquired, the proportions of her face perfectly in line, to the point where she made everyday curiosity look like it was the epitome of perfection, suddenly standing up, probably (or plausibly) realizing that if Jish were here, he would be right now.

I slouched further into my seat, gulping, my throat feeling dry, “I don't Jen… I don't know…”  

[pkmntrainergreyze]

What happened? (Pete Wentz Imagine)

"Pete can I just go home? I don't want to be here" I whispered to his ear but he shook his head and a goofy grin appeared on his face. "Relax, it'll be over soon"

When is soon exactly?

Pete, being the kindest person is the world, asked me to join him in a party, farewell party to be exact. It's not exactly an official farewell party by the school, no, instead we are at Urie's house, with drunk college students puffing their chest to look manly, or stupid, and girls powdered with too many layers of makeup and fake tan just to get into someone's pants, or at least I've heard that's the correct term.

And of course, there's no great party without Pete and me in it.

Being the most famous kids in my school, or as Pete calls it, playground, I'm always invited to do weird stuff, I don't even know why. I wasn't the #Partytillwedrop type of girl, which makes me wonder why me and Pete ended up being great friends. He's the exact opposite of me, I guess everything applies too science, opposites attract as they might say.

"Hey (Y/n)!" I heard a familiar voice beside me, I looked over my shoulder and smiled, it's Patrick. He's a great friend mine as well, we can always relate to each other, like some sort of chemistry, or maybe we just share the same type of weirdness, nonetheless, we are a perfect pair, unlike Pete and I who always causes me trouble. "Hey 'Trick, enjoying the life of the party?" Patrick ignored my nickname I gave him. "Not really, you?"

"Same boat, same boat" I said the words twice to reassure myself I'm not alone, and so is Patrick. "Well, glad that we're both dying in the same sinking boat... that kinda rhymes" I rolled my eyes "No, no it doesn't" I stubbornly denied with my hands looking like I'm wiping dust.

"Yeah it does, boat both" Patrick argued as I shrugged "Dying and sinking" I added with an unusual amount of regret

"See?" Patrick said, enthusiastic about a simple poem, whatever you call it.

"Yeah yeah but still a bad one" I said and his smile faded "I know" He barely whispered and I giggled like a high school girl.

I felt another hand in my shoulder, gripping it tight "(Y/n) we're leaving"

Ugh, Pete destroying a great, fun moment in my life. I waved goodbye after Patrick pulled away in the hug I gave him, he handed me my knapsack and left the scene. Pete glared daggers at Patrick before he could leave, the poor guy gulping.

Pete and Patrick aren't exactly in good terms, Pete met Patrick when we we're having a great conversation about music, specifically Elton John's before Pete pulled me away from him, talking about this Pizza place I didn't asked for, I didn't know why though. He's not only like that to Patrick, he's like that to Spencer, Ryan, Andy and Joe as well, and up until this day, I still don't know why.

He's taking me home, pissed off I could tell. "Did something happen?" I couldn't prevent my mouth to speak, especially now that I'm worried.

"Nothing you should be worried about" He grunted and knocked on our door. No response.

"My parent's told me they'll be gone for a week, they've told me I'll be staying in a hotel, I have an allowance-" "And you didn't told me?" Pete cut me off bitterly, he shot me a glare and it's my turn to gulp.

What happened? Did someone throw him over the edge of a cliff?

"S-sorry" I stammered as he scoffed, digging his nails to my wrist while he dragged me back to his house, which is across the street. "I-I have to find a hotel for a place to stay-"

"You already have" He said as he burst the door open, shocking his mother. "Pete!"

"Let (Y/n) stay in my bedroom, I'll sleep in the couch"

No matter how mad Pete is, he's still concerned about me, which is cute, kinda like Patrick.

He run off to their kitchen, his mother scurried and sat beside me. "What happened?" "I don't know, we just went to this party, he left me then I got to talk to Patrick and now he's acting like a child" I said, fast, without realizing the words I just spoke. "No offense Mrs. Wentz"

She laughed and scooted closer... "Didn't you say that you we're talking to a boy?" She inquired as I cocked an eyebrow, where is she getting at?

"Uhh... Yeah?" She smiled knowingly and stared back at the TV, playing spongebob for reasons unknown. "Pete has..." she trailed off, getting into the show a bit.

"A tendency to get easily jealous" She continued with a smile. "He'll never be contented until he has something he wanted to have" Now I'm more than confused.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well dear, he has a-

"(Y/n) do you want to order pizza?" Pete came back to the living room, with an unusually forced smile on his face and a phone in hand, as if he intended to irrespectively cut his mother off. His mother chuckled, probably knowing her son's shenanigans as well, I'm just glad she's taking it well and not about to scold him... or something.

"Uh... yeah sure" He smiled "Alright then, what topping?"

And I never really got to know what she meant by that, until one day.  

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 5

Gentlemen, 

Sometimes, we all need to be humbled. We all want to win in this game and the game of life, but sometimes we’re given a good dose of humility. This week in our exquisite league, I obtained a victory and I’ll get to that later. However, I need to be honest with all of you: I lost by 64 in my work league. You’re probably thinking the person I played went off and you’d be very wrong. My opponent scored a solid 98 which, if you do the math, means I scored an abysmal 34. Thirty-four freaking points. I have never had a worse week in my life. Enough about me. On to the recap. 

Super Mario...ta 64 v. [REDACTED]

A tightly contested game going into Monday night, Vinny saw his lead disappear with a touchdown by Big Country, Kyle Rudolph. Vinny actually had a decent week with all but three of his players in double figures, led by his addition of Will Fuller. Unfortunately, Gurley sucked, Cards D got waxed, and Greg the Leg missed a field goal. [REDACTED], like Vinny, had some players have poor weeks but big games from Gordon, Adams, and Gostkowski helped him seal the victory on Monday night. 

Cream Hunt v. Debbie Rowe

You call out a man’s mom and he doesn’t hold back. Scott took on the team with his mother’s namesake and continued to dominate. The only undefeated team continued despite only having four players in double figures and Hunt having his worst game. How’d he do it? Fournette getting a solid 30 points. Yeah, 30. Jake still had a respectable 86.4 led by Cheesehead Rodgers and Buck Allen. Jake has now lost his last two and Scott seems like an unstoppable force. Scott’s already looking at that cash prize.  

The Perfect Ten v. Fire Jarn

As mentioned earlier, anything can happen on a Monday (and Sunday) night. Rob went into Sunday night with a respectable lead, but that began a 24hrs of hurt for his team. Both teams were affected by byes but Rob’s squad fell apart Sunday night. Huge games from Wentz, OBJ, Hogan, and Marshawn seemed to be enough but that wasn’t the case. The combo of Rob having Texans D and E having Hopkins flipped the momentum in E’s favor. E had big games from Zeke, the aforementioned Hopkins, and Seattle D. All E needed going into Monday night was for Kai to seal the victory. To add insult to literal injury, our draft day jokes came to fruition and OBJ is out for the year. Sorry, Rob. 

Crisp, Crunch, Funch v. Mr. Magorium

With my performance in my other league, I desperately needed this win. Famous Jameis, Kelce, and Tuck continued their weekly go-to’s but the big surprises were Funch and Jones (I know, a cheesehead). I definitely lucked out with the injury bug hitting Gabe. Though big games Dak, Dez, Blair, and Mixon who scored his first tuddy, it couldn’t overcome in-game injuries from Parker and Clay. Unfortunately for Gabe, the injury bug struck him after kick-off, essentially killing his chance at a victory. 

Wilmore Cinderella v. Kalabar’s Revenge

Minimal games from Tom Brady, Gillislee, and Lacy could scare anyone. Fortunately for JP, everyone else stepped up. Led by TY, AB, Ravens, and Ball Zach all helped the cause. Kalabar, on the other hand, can’t get it going in their own month. G spent his Sunday hanging with Dylan at Disney and that may have hurt his team’s concentration. I would say that if G took Gronk out he may have had a chance but only one person on his bench actually scored. AJ, Vinatieri, and the GOAT Stafford had good games but it didn’t stand a chance against JP. 

Team Timshel v. Chris McChesney

As mentioned before, Dylan and G were soaking in the Florida sun during NFL Sunday. Dylan must’ve been feeling cocky after a win last week and his team didn’t show up. He had good games from Smith, Martin, and Brate but left a lot of points on his bench with Kelvin and Tyreek. Even if Dylan does start those two players it still probably isn’t enough to top Mike’s team. He was the only team to top 100, all with his top scorer on his bench (Watson, 35) and having a 0 in his lineup (Watkins). Mike also had another high scoring QB (Cam, 26) and the real-deal Jags D to help pull away from Dylan. 

Week 6 Matchups: 

Super Mario...ta 64 (2-3) v. Crisp, Crunch, Funch (3-2)

Wilmore Cinderella (4-1) v. The Pefect Ten (2-3)

Team Timshel (3-2) v. Cream Hunt (5-0)

[REDACTED] (3-2) v. Mr. Magorium (2-3)

Chris McChesney (1-4) v. Debbie Rowe (2-3)

Kalabar’s Revenge (2-3) v. Fire Jarn (1-4)

As always, gents, good luck and set your lineups accordingly. 

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared “Jarn” Mosqueda

[cover32-yahoopartner-blog]

Ranking the 32 NFL quarterbacks and committees

Today’s NFL is a quarterback driven league. With the 2016 season in the books, let’s take a look at how the NFL’s signal callers stack up. The criteria used to evaluate their rank has been determined through a combination of yardage gained, touchdown to interception ratio, QBR, and of course a quick breakdown of the eye test. Players will then be placed into one of four categories: The Creme de la Creme, Next Man Up, Game Managers, and The Bottom of the Barrel.

AROUND COVER32

The Red Zone: 2017 NFL offseason player releases

Trivia Blitz: Reveal — 2016 statistical leaders

This Week in NFL History: February 19th – February 25th

What’s Trending: What should the Vikings do about Adrian Peterson

cover32’s Way Too Early Predictions: How will the 2017 NFL season play out

Daily Dime: Young’s comeback, the Franchise Tag, Brady after 40, and more

The creme de la Creme:  Enough said

1. Tom Brady: 3,554 yards, 28 touchdowns, two interceptions, 112.2 QBR

Brady is the reigning super bowl MVP and currently leads the argument for the greatest player of all-time. He absolutely set the NFL on fire last year after his season began in week five when he came off of suspension for his role in Deflategate. Brady authored the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history and there is little doubt that any other quarterback should occupy the number one spot.

2. Aaron Rodgers: 4,428 yards, 40 touchdowns, seven interceptions, 104.2 QBR

Mr. Rodgers is as cool as the other side of the pillow, whether it’s because he’s a California kid or plays in the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, it matters very little. Rodgers is a rare combination of lethal accuracy, mixed with blessed talent and topped off with great fortune.

3. Drew Brees: 5,208 yards, 37 touchdowns, 15 interceptions, 101.7 QBR

Brees continues to dominate defenses despite declining arm strength and lack of a true number one receiver. He posted his fourth 5000-yard passing season in the last six years in 2016. Brees can’t win alone as evidenced by the Saints’ losing records in spite of his Hall of Fame-like production.

4. Derek Carr: 3,937 yards, 28 touchdowns, six interceptions, 96.7 QBR

The 2016 Castrol Edge Clutch Performer of the year, Carr was sensational and left his mark on the league, putting together an MVP caliber year before a fractured fibula derailed his season in week 16. One of the few players one can say we’re down 10 heading into the fourth and he’s got them right where he wants them.

5. Matt Ryan: 4,944 yards, 38 touchdowns, seven interceptions, 117.1 QBR (League-best)

The Offensive Player of the year in 2016 should rank higher than number five; at least one would hope. For all his wonderful accolades and his consistently high statistical measures, there is that choke job in the super bowl though. Nothing Ryan ever does will erase or absolve him of blowing a 25-point lead to lose Super Bowl LI.

6. Dak Prescott: 3,667 yards, 23 touchdowns, four interceptions 104.9 QBR

Prescott, the 2016 Offensive Rookie of the Year may very well be the savior of Dallas Cowboys football. Overshadowed by fellow R.O.Y. nominee Ezekiel Elliott, Prescott stepped to the forefront as both the leader of this team and arguably it’s best player. He may also have spelled the end of Tony Romo in Dallas.

7. Matthew Stafford: 4,327 yards, 24 touchdowns, 10 interceptions, 93.3 QBR

On December 11, 2016, Stafford broke Peyton Manning’s single season record for comebacks with eight. Without much help around him in Detroit, Stafford continued to get it, done reaching the playoffs for only the second time in his career. Fans continue to sleep on Stafford who has the most passing yards of any quarterback through their first 100 games.

8. Ben Roethlisberger: 3,819 yards, 29 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 94.4 QBR

Posting the third highest passing touchdown total of his career, Big Ben sounded off and rang true as his right arm covered for a missing Le’Veon Bell and guided the Steelers to their sixth division title in 12 years.

  Next Man Up: Quarterbacks who are not quite elite but not terrible either

9. Kirk Cousins: 4,917 yards, 25 touchdowns, 12 interceptions, 97.2 QBR

Not quite worthy of top billing, Cousins is the beneficiary of time and place. Continuing to put up tweener numbers while teetering on the edge of elite, he is looking at being franchise tagged for the second year in a row. Washington continues to wait and see if Cousins’ quality holds more value than a D.C. promise.

10. Marcus Mariota: 3,426 yards, 26 touchdowns, nine interceptions, 95.6 QBR

In a freakish lightning striking twice kind of jump off, Mariota and Carr broke their legs on the exact same Christmas Eve day and represented the last win of their respective seasons. Mariota and the Titans are one explosive wide receiver away from creating something special.

11. Russell Wilson: 4,219 yards, 21 touchdowns, 11 interceptions, 92.6 QBR

Wilson played behind arguably the worst offensive line in the league and also M.I.A. was a running game. Playing through pain and injury, he willed the Seahawks to the NFC West crown and defeated Detroit on Wild-Card weekend before succumbing to Atlanta in the next round of the postseason.

12. Andrew Luck: 4,240 yards, 31 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 96.4 QBR

Luck rebounded nicely from a ruptured spleen but the colts were only in contention for all of a fleeting moment. Luck and T.Y. Hilton are the league’s premier deep threat combo but the Colts need an awful lot of help keeping him upright in order for him to be great.

13. Jameis Winston: 4,090 yards, 28 touchdowns, 18 interceptions, 86.1 QBR

Famous Jameis had another impressive building year in his second season as the Buccaneers’ starting quarterback. Losing his tight end to off field issues, Winston continued to find Mike Evans and wing the football all over the field. He struggles with accuracy issues rooted in his footwork that is in need of improvement, but Winston is on or ahead of schedule in his development.

14. Andy Dalton: 4,206 yards, 18 touchdowns, eight interceptions, 91.8 QBR

In his first year without Hue Jackson Dalton regressed, in his defense he also lost Mohamed Sanu to free agency and Tyler Eifert to injury early in the season. Dalton had to learn his new receiving corps while continuing to feed A.J. Green before he too became injured. Still a solid season by any means Dalton threw for over 4000 yards, familiarized himself with his new weapons, and moving forward will get a chance to prove his worth now that Jackson and Jay Gruden are gone.

15. Philip Rivers: 4,386 yards, 33 touchdowns, 21 interceptions, 87.9 QBR

At first glance it’s easy to say Rivers is slipping as Father Time is catching up. The fact of the matter is, nearly every skill position starter on the Chargers’ offense and defense was injured. Rivers had to take chances and throw to less than optimal receiving options all season long.

16. Carson Wentz: 3782 yards, 16 touchdowns, 14 interceptions, 79.3 QBR

Wentz came out guns blazing in his rookie campaign, but the league caught up to him and rookie head coach, Doug Pederson’s offense. Wentz showed signs of promise for a rookie and should be destined for great things provided the Eagles can help him out with a running game.

  Game Managers: The guys who get it done without blowing the doors off

17. Sam Bradford: 3,877 yards 20 touchdowns, five interceptions, 99.3 QBR

Bradford led the league in completion percentage with 71.6 percent, while posting career bests in nearly every category, with the exception of passing touchdowns. Bradford will always be seen as just average until he can play 16 games and make it to the playoffs.

18. Tyrod Taylor: 3,509 yards, 17 touchdowns, six interceptions, 89.7 QBR

What a difference a year makes in the NFL. Last season Taylor was a Pro Bowler and now this year is already being accused of being washed up with, a salary cap bullseye on his back. Taylor spent most of the year without his top receivers and had to contend with running for his life with half of a quality offensive line.

19. Eli Manning: 4,027 yards, 26 touchdowns, 16 interceptions, 86.0 QBR

The Giants were in the midst of a transition as it marked the first season without head coach, Tom Coughlin. Manning too often allowed boneheaded decisions, during critical moments of the game, to influence the outcome. Manning has seen better days and if asked to do much more than manage games he will be met with less and less success.

20. Ryan Tannehill: 2,995 yards, 19 touchdowns, 12 interceptions, 93.5 QBR

Working with head coach and quarterback whisperer, Adam Gase, Tannehill has shown improvement. Injury cut his 2016 season short and could only watch as back up signal caller, Matt Moore, come in and produce. Many are hoping this is the year Tannehill finally breaks out.

21. Colin Kaepernick: 2,241 yards, 16 touchdowns, four interceptions, 90.7 QBR

Making only 11 starts and after a nasty public battle with management about his contract, as well as personal protests, Kaepernick put together a decent year in Chip Kelly’s offense, despite a cast of practice squad-ish surrounding talent. After a year in the shit show the 49ers have struggled to produce; it’s a testament to Kaepernick’s ability for being able to put something positive on tape.

22. Alex Smith: 3,502 yards, 15 touchdowns, eight interceptions, 91.2 QBR

Smith is the kind of quarterback you love to have as a back up — capable of running the offense, keeping on schedule and relatively risk free. Only problem is Captain Checkdown is becoming the weak link holding back an offense ready to explode. As evidenced in the playoffs, Smith’s inability to look and throw downfield cost the Chiefs a playoff game they could have won.

  Bottom of the Barrel:  Dedicated to those who stunk up the joint

23. Trevor Siemian: 3,401 yards, (18 touchdowns, 10 interceptions, 84.6 QBR

Siemian is a young quarterback that has shown he can win close games. He is not in possession of a home run caliber arm, nor does he do anything particularly well. What Siemian is capable of is keeping plays alive with his feet and making the solid short to intermediate reads and throws. Bottom of the Barrel: Dedicated to quarterbacks who stunk up the joint

24. Carson Palmer: 4,233 yards, 26 touchdowns, 14 interceptions, 87.2 QBR

Stats don’t lie but they can definitely mislead. Palmer was good in some games but a flat out dog in others. He is usually a reliable quarterback but had his ups and downs in 2016. Last year Palmer eclipsed the 300-yard plateau in only six games and three times he failed to produce even 250 yards passing.

25. Joe Flacco: 4,317 yards, 20 touchdowns, 15 interceptions, 83.5 QBR

Another instance of misleading stats. Many of Baltimore’s 2016 games saw the Ravens with the football late driving to score and either put away the game or steal it back. The reoccurring theme here was Joe Flacco flat out could not deliver in clutch time. Arguably having the best deep arm in the game and one of the fastest men on the field, did little in terms of production for the Ravens in 2016.

26. Blake Bortles: 3,905 yards, 23 touchdowns, 16 interceptions, 78.8 QBR

It is a mystery as to what happened Bortles in 2016 as many thought he was poised to have a breakout year and become a star. Instead, he would have been better off as a Just for Men spokesman. Nearly all of Bortles stats came in garbage-time and armed with Allen Robinson out wide and a rededication to the run game last year’s season was still a complete faceplant.

27. Cleveland Browns: 3,264 yards, 15 touchdowns, 14 interceptions, 77.4 QBR

A revolving door at the most important position in the game is a recipe for disaster and a 1-15 record. The only good thing about the Browns is that when Hue Jackson gets rid of the seven bozos who played quarterback for him, he still has budding superstar wideouts, Terrelle Pryor and Corey Coleman, as receiving options for Cleveland’s future quarterback.

28. Cam Newton: 3,509 yards, 19 touchdowns, 14 interceptions, 75.8 QBR

My name is Cam Newton and you’re probably wondering how I ended up down here in the bottom of the barrel? You’re not alone, as I finished with a completion percentage of just 52.9 percent, nearly 20 percent lower than the league leading Bradford. There clearly was a super bowl runner-up hangover and no matter how crappy 2016 was, Newton will bounce back.

29. Chicago Bears: 3,969 yards, 19 touchdowns, 19 interceptions, 81.8 QBR

Chicago was a quarterback wasteland in 2016 as the Bears’ quarterback numbers have been largely inflated by a six week stretch of mediocrity engineered by Brian Hoyer — 1,445 yards, six touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 98.0 QBR. The rest of the quarterbacks on the Bears roster should be let go.

30. Brock Osweiler: 2,957 yards, 15 touchdowns, 16 interceptions, 72.2 QBR

It’s really hard to imagine a worse starting quarterback in the NFL than Osweiler as he is pissing a Super Bowl-caliber team away. Wildly inconsistent, he is in possession of the tools to be solid and maybe even good, but until he puts it all together on the field, he will be the reason Houston does not win it all. In his defense, dropped passes are a big reason the Texans lost in the Divisional Round of the playoffs against the Patriots.

31. Ryan Fitzpatrick: 2,710 yards, 12 touchdowns, 17 interceptions, 69.6 QBR

It’s hard to fault a player for being selfish and even harder to fault one for sticking around as long as possible, but the time has come for Fitzpatrick to hang it up. The Harvard grad has carved out quite the living for himself as a mediocre starting-backup quarterback. In true bait and switch-like fashion, Fitzpatrick tantalizes with DirecTv Ryan and what looks to be great play, then when signing the big deal he becomes Cable Ryan.

32. Los Angeles Rams: 3,290, 14 touchdowns, 18 interceptions, 70.0 QBR

Case Keenum and Jared Goff were god awful Goff. Neither had flashes, but just a few sparkles. As bad as Keenum was, Goff is so far away from being ready, let alone good.

— Philip Robinson writes for cover32 and covers the NFL and the Oakland Raiders. He can be followed on Twitter @chocP3thunder.

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