#mr. brexit

[baronessblixen]

Me watching UK news : good for them.

Same. Except that Nigel Farage got a seat in parliament. That's not so good.

[greencarnation]

"Everybody has the responsibility to condemn it, to condemn it in the strongest possible way, and let's just call it what it is. It's a complete breach of international law - the targeting of a hospital. There should be an independent investigation to find those who were responsible.

You [the BBC] have been watching the scenes and covering the scenes overnight, and people are rightly outraged, in the region and right across the world. This is just a complete and utter human tragedy. The violence has to stop.

There has to be a ceasefire, and frankly if you look at this issue stepping back from the current crisis, the only way we're going to stop the perpetual cycle of violence that we see flare up year after year after year is by addressing the route cause. The route cause continues to be that while we have an Israeli state, that is a promise that was made, we don't have the Palestinian state yet as per the 1967 border. That two state solution, that many of us have spoken about for decades has just never materialized. Until there is a concerted effort, until there is, frankly, an honest broker that is able to help to broker that solution, we're going to unfortunately see these perpetual cycles of violence continue for years to come."

- Humza Yousef, First Minister of Scotland, talking to the BBC about the bombing of Al-Ahli hospital

[overelegantstranger]

-

[toonsucks]

british?

“SO THERES THIS BRITISH DUDE NAMED WILLIAM AFTON WHO DECIDES TO START A FAMILY DINER BUSINESS W HIS FRIEND HENRY EMILY AND- ”

[kember-writes]

Considering our voting history, perhaps the British shouldn't have democracy.

[zvaigzdelasas]

French President Emmanuel Macron has named Michel Barnier as prime minister almost two months after France's snap elections ended in political deadlock.[...]

A veteran of the right-wing Republicans (LR) party, he has had a long political career and filled various senior posts, both in France and within the EU.[...]

It has taken President Macron 60 days to make up his mind on choosing a prime minister, having called a "political truce" during the Paris Olympics

But Mr Barnier will need all his political skills to navigate the coming weeks, with the centre-left Socialists already planning to challenge his appointment with a vote of confidence.[...]

His nomination has already caused discontent within the New Popular Front (NFP), whose own candidate for prime minister was rejected by the president.

Jean-Luc Mélenchon, the leader of the radical France Unbowed (LFI) - the biggest of the four parties that make up the NFP - said the election had been "stolen from the French people".

Instead of coming from the the alliance that came first on 7 July, he complained that the prime minister would be "a member of a party that came last", referring to the Republicans.

"This is now essentially a Macron-Le Pen government," said Mr Mélenchon, referring to the leader of the far-right National Rally (RN).

He then called for people to join a left-wing protest against Mr Macron's decision planned for Saturday.

To survive a vote of confidence, Mr Barnier will need to persuade 289 MPs in the 577-seat National Assembly to back his government.

Marine Le Pen has made clear her party will not take part in his administration, but she said he at least appeared to meet National Rally's initial requirement, as someone who "respected different political forces".[...]

A recent opinion poll suggested that 51% of French voters thought the president should resign.

5 Sep 24

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Archived Link

He reveals that in January 2020, just weeks after his landslide election win, officials in Downing Street and Buckingham Palace believed he might be able to talk Harry out of his seismic decision to quit the UK and walk away from his royal duties. The ex-PM writes that there was “a ridiculous business... when they made me try to persuade Harry to stay. Kind of manly pep talk. Totally hopeless.”

The secret meeting, which underlines the close links between No 10 and the Palace, took place in the margins of a UK-Africa investment summit in London's Docklands. It came just hours after the duke gave an emotional speech in which he said he and Meghan were leaving with 'great sadness' but felt they had 'no other option' but to step away from royal life. The two men met for 20 minutes without aides as Mr Johnson tried to persuade the prince to reconsider.

A friend said Mr Johnson paid tribute to Harry's efforts on the Invictus Games and praised Meghan's work on their shared passion for promoting the education of women and girls in developing countries. “He thought they were a great asset to UK plc and it was a real shame they were leaving when they were doing such great work,” the friend said. “It was a man-to-man conversation, they were totally alone. But Harry wasn't for turning – he was unpersuadable by that point. Boris succeeded in delivering Brexit but even he couldn't stop Megxit.”

[gweninred]

melissa schemmenti

comfort? idk

"Okay, which one of y'all ordered this big stack of social studies books?" Ava asked, walking into the teacher's offices, dropping a box on one of the tables. Melissa and I are trying to get the printer to work. Everyone immediately ran over to the principal. "Oh my goodness! They're only a few years old." Janine picked up one of the books. "Oh my God! They have Brexit! And the Flint water crisis. And Hamilton." She read, looking into one of the cameras. "These aren't for Abbott Elementary. They're for Addington Elementary." Your wife reads from the box, her red reading glasses sitting on her nose. "Oh, the school down the street?" Asked Jacob. "New books. One of the perks of turning into a charter school." Answerd Barbara. "They went charter and went up. From 2012 Khloe K to 2022 Khloe K like that." Ava snipped her fingers. "Unreconizable." I picked up one of the books and looked at it. "I heard they got a lot of good stuff over there." I said, leaning against Melissa's shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around you.

"Well, that building was made by the same World War II architect as this one, so it can't be that great." Janine smiled once again into the camera, trying to see the positive side. "Why don't we walk over there and find out for ourselves during lunch?" Barbara requested. "Well, Melissa and I actually planned on lunching somewhere today, so I don't think—" I couldn't finish; Melissa was cutting in. "No, we're going, hon." I gave her a glare. "What? I want to see inside." She put her glasses back on her head. "Sure, let's do it!." Janine said.

Later that day, we walked into Addington Elementary with Janine carrying the box with books. "Did you all feel that?" Barbara asked. "That is some good AC." A young man walked past our group of teachers. "They even got a young Mr. Johnson." Gregory waved at him. "Do you smell that?" I gripped Melissa's hand, my love language being physical touch. "I don't smell anything." The redhead said. "Exactly!" Then Janine cut in: "You know what? No. It's not that great here. I mean look, the ceilings are smooth. Isn't that what floors are for?" She tried to cheer the group up.

"Hey!" We heard a voice. "Tina!" The old Abbott teacher walked up to us. "Look the crying bitch." Melissa whisperd. "That's Ms. Schwartz, the teacher you replaced." Jacob whispered to Gregory. "The one who kicked a student?" He asked, shocked. "Oh, I don't do that anymore." She laughed. "Because of therapy and anger management, also, at a charter school, there's a lot less oversight in the hiring process, so it's been pretty sweet." Tina was proud. "Well, sweetheart, it's nice to see you, and the school is wonderful." Melissa chuckled at that. I knew from Melissa that Barbara didn't like Tina. "Yeah. Are those my books?' She pointed at the box in Janine's hands. "Oh yeah!" She handed them over. "You guys want a little tour?" The group laughed. "Yeah!" they said. "So, this is the language lab." The teacher led them to the closest class room. "The kids are currently learning French. Bonjour!" She greeted the class, and the class greeted her happily. I heard Melissa say, "Awh." Tina continued. "Over there are our restrooms. which are awesome because the banos don't attack you here." Janine cut her off. "Oh, I fixed that toilet, so..." Tina laughed awkwardly.

Then there came a kid running down the hall, followed by a blonde-haired teacher. I recognized the woman immediately, and so did Melissa. It was her sister, Kirsten Marie. Melissa let go of my hand, gripped her bag tighter, and straightened her posture. "Hey, Kya, you gagootz, keep it movin'!" Kirsten yelled at the running kid. She stopped in front of Melissa, glaring at her. I placed my hand on the small of my wife's back to comfort her a little. Since the fight with her sister, they hadn't spoken to each other. Kirsten scoffed at her sister. "Okay, come on." The redhead said. The group of teachers looked at the two women before the blonde started to walk away. "Let's get out of here. Come on." Melissa walked, grabbing my wrist and dragging me with her. "Melissa, that's like your charter school doppelganger." Jacob looked back at the other woman. "It is because they are sisters!" I whispered to the group, but Melissa heard anyway. "I said, Let's go!"

Now you were walking outside, and Melissa was walking at a pace the group could barely keep up with. "She's your sister? You have the same mom?" Janine almost yelled at the other teacher. "Yeah, yeah, good. You know what sisters mean. Glad you're making good use of that Penn education." She was mad. "Melissa!" I hissed. "What did I tell you about being so rude?" I squeezed her hand, like giving her a warning. "I'm not saying another word about this." I looked back at the group and held my shoulders up. "Can we at least walk at a slower pace? I think we're far enough now." Jacob said, but Melissa was not having it. "Okay, we will see you at school." Me and Melissa continued walking.

"Baby, don't let her ruin your day now." The redhead groaned. "And I understand you're upset, but that doesn't mean you have to be so rude to Janine or to anyone." Melissa didn't answer, but I knew she would come around. We've arrived back at school. "And I didn't bring any lunch." Melissa sat down at our regular table, grabbing her bag to pull out a few dollars. "Get something from the vending machine." She mumbles. "Great." I sighed. "What do you want?" My wife sat with her arms crossed on the table, her head leaning on her arms. "I want to go home." She groaned. “I didn’t mean that, you know that, Melis.” I got noodles for both of us and some boiled water. I walked up to her and placed my hands on her shoulders, slightly massaging. I parted her red locks around her neck and placed a kiss on her exposed skin. "Don't stay mad now." I moved my hands to her front and hugged her, placing kisses on the back of her head. We were the only ones in the teachers lounge since everyone decided to eat out. Melissa sat up, placing her hands over yours. "I’m sorry." She mumbled, turning her head to kiss me on the lips. The position was quite awkward. “Don't say sorry to me, you should apologize to Janine." I whispered against her lips. She closed the gap, pressing her red-painted lips against mine. In a few moments, I pulled away. "Noodles." I reminded myself and turned around to finish up the food.

Pouring the boiling water into the cup of noodles, you felt two arms wrap around your waist, Melissa hugging you from behind. Normally we aren't so touchy at work, but Melissa turns more clingey when she feels bad. I finished up the noodles and told Melissa to sit on the couch instead of at the table. She sat down next to me, her thighs touching mine. We ate in silence, and when we were done, she snuggled up to me.

Around 20 minutes later, the door busted open, and teachers slowly came inside. I noticed the redhead falling asleep, her head resting on my shoulder, and her mouth hanging open. "She asleep?" Barbara asked, and I nodded. "I guess seeing 'stupid' family members is exhausting." I giggled and slightly stroked the side of her face. "Well, I'm going to head out of here before the dragon wakes up." Jacob rushed out of the room before I could say anything. I gasped at what he had called my wife. "I don't think she means it. Everyone says things they might regret later when they’re mad." Janine held up her books before leaving. The bell rang, waking Melissa up. She rubbed her eyes and straightened her posture. "Shit, I didn't mean to fall asleep." I smiled, kissing the side of her face. "You probably needed it. But come on, we're already late. I forgot the time too."

Later that day, Melissa apologized to Janine. "You have her wrapped around your finger, y\n." Barbara said to me, looking at the interaction between Melissa and Janine.

[falloutboylyricss]

Fall Out Boy and Names

note: this post includes only specific names of people or groups of people (such as band names), both real and fictional

Evening Out With Your Girlfriend

"I can be your John Cusack" - Honorable Mention

"Obscured by the stand-up arcade and the sound of the Descendants" - Switchblades and Infidelity

"And listen to the Misfits 'Where Eagles Dare' to swallow whole" - Growing Up

"And we're all in the back singing 'Roxanne'" - The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys In A Broken Down Van)

"A simple contradiction could shake my whole foundation, Parker Lewis can't lose" - Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot)

Take This to Your Grave

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today (title only)

"Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria with promise and precision" - Saturday

"Me and Pete in the wake of Saturday" - Saturday

"Hey, Chris, you were our only friend" - Saturday

From Under The Cork Tree

7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen) (title only)

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me (title only)

Infinity On High

none

Folie à Deux

She's My Winona (title only)

What A Catch, Donnie (title only)

"Miss Flack said, 'I still want you back'" - What A Catch, Donnie

Tiffany Blews (title only)

Save Rock And Roll

"We're all fighting growing old in the hopes of a few minutes more to get, get on St. Peter's list" - Rat A Tat

PAX AM Days

none

American Beauty/American Psycho

"She wants to dance like Uma Thurman" - Uma Thurman

"I got those jet pack blues, just like Judy" - Jet Pack Blues

"Do you remember when we drove, we drove, drove through the night and we danced, we danced to Rancid" - Favorite Record

"I can't remember just how to forget, forget the way that we danced, we danced to Danzig" - Favorite Record

MANIA

"I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee" - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) (title only)

"And if death is the last appointment, then we're all just sitting in the waiting room (Mr. Stump?)" - Church

"I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice, kill me twice like my name was Nikki Sixx" - Young And Menace

So Much (For) Stardust

"We were a hammer to the Statue of David" - Love From The Other Side

"I can't stop, can't stop 'til we catch all your ears, though, somewhere between Mike Tyson and Van Gogh" - Flu Game

"It breaks your heart, but four of the Ramones are dead" - The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years)

Misc.

"Yeah, streets are full of seasons, saw what they did to Jesus" - Dear Future Self (Hands Up)

"'Cause everyone loves Bob Dylan, I just want you to love me like that, yeah / Would you bury me next to Johnny Cash? I'm obsessed" - Bob Dylan

"Captain Planet, Arab Spring, L.A. riots, Rodney King" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Oklahoma City bomb, Kurt Cobain, Pokémon / Tiger Woods, MySpace, Monsanto, GMOs / Harry Potter, Twilight, Michael Jackson dies" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Kim Jong Un, Robert Downey Jr., Iron Man" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Obama, Spielberg, explosion, Lebanon / Unabomber, Bobbitt, John, bombing, Boston Marathon" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Trump gets impeached twice, polar bears got no ice / Fyre Fest, Black Parade, Michael Phelps, Y2K / Boris Johnson, Brexit, Kanye West and Taylor Swift" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Sandy Hook, Columbine, Sandra Bland and Tamir Rice / ISIS, LeBron James, Shinzo Abe blown away / Meghan Markle, George Floyd, Burj Khalifa, Metroid / Fermi paradox, Venus and Serena / Michael Jordan, 23, Youtube killed MTV / SpongeBob, Golden State Killer got caught / Michael Jordan, 45, Woodstock '99 / Keaton Batman, Bush v. Gore, I can't take it anymore" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"Elon Musk, Kaepernick, Texas failed electric grid / Jeff Bezos, climate change, white rhino goes extinct / Great Pacific garbage patch, Tom DeLonge and aliens" - We Didn't Start The Fire

"SSRIs, Prince and The Queen die" - We Didn't Start The Fire

[nulab-2024]

“Sending 70 per cent of young people to university will be the ruin of Britain” - Michael Deacon in The Telegraph.

I personally think people like Mr Deacon, attacking young people seeking an education and creating moral panics with sensationalist rubbish, are more likely to be the ruin of Britain.

I think Mr Deacon should become an electrician, joiner, painter-decorator, or plumber, if he thinks it’s such a problem, instead of telling other people how to live their lives. Maybe he should try to make apprenticeships more attractive to young people, instead of telling them that their degrees are worthless.

And I think he needs to reconsider his argument about Brexit.

[anyoneknowwhatbrexitmeans]

“Some right-wing populists see current anxieties as an opportunity to stoke anger because anger is what’s necessary for their project. After all, people don’t demolish things when htey are positive or optimistic.

“I know this from my time in the UK, where for years the rallying cry of Brexiteers has broken Britain, and their solution to take back control was actually code for tear down your future.”

[laiqualaurelote]

for the wip ask meme: cover story!

Thank you for this ask (from this WIP game)! a couple of folks have asked about this one. It's the Ted/Trent spy-AU-in-a-Notting-Hill-bookshop-AU, which stalled because the premise got too unwieldy and the literary references got out of hand. (It did have a playlist I was quite fond of, with a number of Kinks songs including, presciently, A Well Respected Man). Because I am unlikely to ever finish it, I thought I'd just fic amnesty the whole thing here, so:

Cover Story

Trent is about to wind up stocktaking when the door to the bookshop bangs open. “We’re closed,” he calls irritably, and then he turns and sees who it is.

“I got something of a reading emergency,” says Ted Lasso.

Trent takes him in: breathing hard, collar askew, perspiration plastering a lick of hair against his forehead. In his hand is a gun. Trent recognises it as a Heckler & Koch P30L.

Trent ought to be going for his own weapon right about now. Instead he says: “So it is you.”

“Yep,” says Ted.

“I knew it,” hisses Trent. “I fucking knew it.”

“Boy, you sure do like to be right about stuff.” Ted pauses, then staggers. Trent sees that he is favouring his left side, and that the shirt beneath the puffer jacket is darkening with blood.

“Ted,” he begins, “wh – ”

“Like I said,” Ted grits out, “emergency.” And then he collapses in the middle of Trent’s bookshop.

Five weeks earlier

“You wouldn’t happen to have the latest John le Carré, would you?”

Trent has to climb a little ways down the ladder to see the man speaking to him. It’s one of the American tourists who wandered in after lunch. There are always Americans underfoot these days, trawling the aisles of the bookshop as if in hope of a meet-cute out of Notting Hill. Trent, as a rule, finds Americans tedious and does his level best to avoid them in all his lines of work; he achieves this in the bookshop by hiding in the stacks and leaving them to the tender mercies of his assistant. Unfortunately, this appears to be a particularly persistent specimen. Trent descends a few more rungs and braces himself.

“Is that the one with Brexit?”

“The one with the bookshop.” The American has a very distracting moustache. He looks almost exactly like a slide Trent once saw in Disguises 101: How Not To Overdo It. He is also wearing multiple layers beneath his puffer jacket, like some sort of Midwestern matryoshka, even though the shop’s heating is working perfectly well. Trent is automatically suspicious of customers with many layers, lest they are shoplifters. But a shoplifter would not go to such lengths to gain his attention.

“If you mean the posthumously published one, it’s not yet in stock. Shipping delays, I’m afraid.”

“Ain’t that a pity,” says the American. “I was sold on the premise. A bookshop that’s secretly a base for spy shenanigans? Tell me you don’t want to see how that turns out.”

Trent removes his glasses, keeping his expression bland. “You could put in an order, but if you’re not in town for long then I daresay there isn’t much point.”

“Oh, we’ll be here for a while. Long vacation. Thought we’d take it easy, like the Eagles would say. Though this ain’t Winslow, Arizona.”

“You can place an order with Miss Bowen at the counter,” says Trent, after he has cast about for a response to that string of gibberish and come up empty.

“You bet I will. If I could just – ” The American reaches out, and Trent almost breaks his wrist on instinct, but he simply brushes past Trent’s sleeve and pulls a secondhand copy of Call For The Dead off the shelf. “Maybe we ain’t see the last of le Carré, but at least it’s a first.”

“Ah, ha,” says Trent, to mask his surprise that they even have a copy of Call For The Dead in stock. It’s probably languished in here for years, unsold. “Good eye.”

“Well, I thank you for the consultation, Mr…”

“Crimm. Trent Crimm, The Independent.”

“Well, Trent, I appreciate you. Keep fighting the good fight.”

Trent blinks. “Against…?”

“Amazon,” says the American brightly. “Which, as an American, I apologise for.”

“Er, quite,” says Trent. “Sorry about Brexit, and all that.”

The American’s name on the order form is Ted Lasso, which makes him sound like a fictional character. He collects his bearded friend from the philosophy section and they depart, engaged in a discussion so animated that Lasso walks into the shop door, rebounds with no perceptible damage and continues his argument without missing a beat. Trent and Miss Bowen watch them go, mildly perplexed.

“Is he a subscriber? I don’t recognise either of them.”

“Just an ordinary customer, from the looks of it. He wanted to talk about books.”

“I suppose it must happen from time to time, in a bookshop,” says Miss Bowen dryly.

Trent crosses to her side of the counter, which is built in such a way that a customer, standing in line, would not be able to see what her hands might be doing. He leans down casually to check the automatic shotgun mounted under the countertop. 

“He was talking about the new le Carré. It’s about spies in a bookshop, apparently.”

“Oh,” says Miss Bowen, eyebrow raised. “Is it now?”

“Yes,” says Trent. “We ought to get hold of it quite quickly, I think. In case there’s been a breach.”

“Come now.” She turns to him sharply. “Le Carré couldn’t have written a novel about us. I mean, he’d never been in the shop. We’d know, wouldn’t we?”

“I daresay we would, Miss Bowen. But put in the order anyway.”

“Certainly, Mr Crimm. And did you want new grenades on top of that?”

“I did, yes, thank you for reminding me.”

“Of course.” A pause. “We are quite sure that man wasn’t a subscriber, are we?”

Trent scoffs. “What, that guy? Come on.”

*

Trent’s childhood dream was to own a bookshop. He thought of bookshops as places where you could read all day and avoid people, which seemed like paradise. However, his family being who they were, his skills being what they were, the job market for English degree-holders being what it was – he spent a year at odd ends, haphazardly weighing the pursuit of postgraduate studies against attempting to break into the publishing industry, until finally he gave up and took the path he knew had always been there, lying in wait for him. He became a spy.

It was another fifteen years before he revisited the idea of the bookshop, in the wake of his abrupt and unceremonious retirement from the Circus. Cleis was one and a half years old by then, and he knew he must find something, for her sake – he had promised –  even though he could not stomach the thought of going out in the cold again. He was mulling over his various options – heaven forfend he wind up in something horrible, like insurance – when his mother dropped by for tea and said peremptorily: “Mae is retiring, don’t you know?”

Mae – the only name anyone ever knew her by – was a veritable battleaxe who ran the Crown and Anchor, a pub that doubled up as the London station for agents of every stripe working in or passing through the city. The stations, by the unspoken rules that governed their universe, were neutral ground; they served every agency and freelancer without question and in turn brooked no conflict within their confines. To move against a station was to move against the combined powers of the rest of the agencies. Nobody had tried it in Trent’s lifetime.

“Oh?” said Trent. He was only partially listening to his mother; most of his attention was focused on trying to get Cleis to keep her yoghurt in her mouth. “Who’s taking over, then?”

His mother fixed him with the glare she had honed on some of the finest intelligencers this side of the Atlantic, as well as his teenage self. “I rather thought you might throw your hat in the ring, dear.”

Cleis mawed at her in surprise and dribbled watery yoghurt down her bib. Trent sighed. “I’ll talk to Mae.”

Mae thought it was a ridiculous notion to run a station as a bookshop. “You wouldn’t catch half that lot dead in a bookshop,” was her take on it. “Who has time for reading these days? And you’ll have to get in books! Actual books!”

“That’s rather the idea, yes,” said Trent. “It can’t be harder than maintaining a liquor licence.”

“Well, it’s not like I was going to hand the tender over to anyone else,” admits Mae. “What will you call it, love?”

Trent considered. “The Independent. Because that’s what it is.”

Even Mae had to admit, a few years in, that it was working out quite well. He’d even managed to sell some books.

*

“How’s the le Carré?” Miss Bowen asks, amid her reshelving. “Are we in trouble?”

“I don’t think so.” Trent is perusing Silverview at the counter, book in one hand, the other on the rifle. “The bookshop’s in East Anglia, and the protagonist hasn’t the first idea how to run it.”

“Oh, well then,” says Miss Bowen. “It will put nobody in mind of us at all. Is it any good? I’m always wary of these late discovery manuscripts. I don’t think I ever got over the disappointment of Go Set A Watchman.”

“It’s unevenly weighted. Makes you miss him at his best.” Trent turns a page. “Still, I’m glad he didn’t go gentle into that good night.”

He tenses as the shop bell rings, then sees that it is Keeley Jones, resplendent in a fluffy yellow coat. “What can we do for you, Miss Jones?”

“Trading in,” sings Keeley. “On Jamie’s behalf.”

Trent takes off his glasses and gives her a forbidding look. “What, has he gone and lost the lot again?”

Keeley winces. “Only some of it.”

Trent sighs. “Let’s get it processed in the back.”

Jamie Tartt is one of the stars of the agency known as the Dogtrack. He’s also aggravatingly cocky and spectacularly laissez-faire with his equipment; Keeley’s always in here, making apologies for him having thrown his Glock into a volcano, or something. Trent has no patience for the likes of Jamie Tartt. One already has so many people trying to kill one in this line of work, but there he is, giving even more people reasons to want him dead.

The back room is behind a reinforced steel door that can only be opened using either Trent’s or Miss Bowen’s fingerprints and a passcode that changes every day. The passcode is in fact a rolling alphanumerical series that progresses through the entirety of Hamlet, and if anyone ever cracks it, Trent will be very impressed by their grasp of Shakespeare. In the back room, Trent lays out the remnants of Jamie Tartt’s mission kit and purses his lips.

“To lose one dart gun, Miss Jones, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.”

“Oh, you needn’t have a go at me, I’m proper mad at him myself. You know what he did last week? Tried to murder Roy Kent. Roy Kent!”

“What, for work?”

“Not even that! Some kind of fucking…pissing contest.” Keeley makes a noise of exasperation. “Some days it’s like we gave a bunch of five-year-olds guns and let them loose on a jungle gym. You know what I mean?”

“I’ll just put it on his tab,” says Trent. “Which is astronomical, by the way.”

“I’ll chivvy the folks at the Dogtrack to send you a cover. Only they’re rushed off their feet this week – you must have heard.”

Trent has heard, but it always serves one in intelligence gathering to pretend to know less than one really does. “What’s happening over there?”

“The Mannions are going to war,” says Keeley, her voice lush with the juice of gossip - another reason why Trent likes having her in the shop. “The whole Dogtrack’s splitting up. Christ, but it’s a mess down there.”

“Who’s Jamie backing?”

“Hasn’t decided. Rupert’s putting it about that the whole agency’s going with him, but word on the street is that Rebecca Welton’s brought in someone from abroad to take him out. They’re saying it’s an American.” She sucks in an excited breath. 

“Why would you bring in an American for that?” demands Trent. 

“Beats me. It’s going to keep us all on our toes for a bit, to be sure. I reckon it’s some Tom Cruise type, all Mission Impossible Jack Reacher like. But nobody knows for certain.” 

“Surely not,” says Trent. “You at least must have some idea, Miss Jones.”

Keeley flutters her eyelashes at him. “Who, me? I’m just a humble secretary.”

“Of course you are,” says Trent. “And I’m just a poor bookseller.”

Keeley slants a sly look at him. “You haven’t seen any Americans around, have you?”

“We get Americans in the store all the time. Just this morning we had a Mrs Glenda Johnson from South Carolina complaining that we don’t have a café in the store.”

“Yeah,” says Keeley, “fairly sure it’s not Mrs Glenda Johnson. Isn’t there a Costa two doors down?”

“Precisely,” says Trent. “Americans.”

They return to the front of the store, the afternoon light streaming across the polished wood floors and touching the book covers. “It really is awful pretty, when the light’s good,” says Keeley, running a hand across a row of Sally Rooneys. “You know what you ought to do? You should do #BookTok.”

“That,” says Trent, “is the single worst suggestion I’ve ever heard.”

Keeley laughs. “Give me a pot of money and some Madeline Miller and I’ll do it for you. I’ll make you so famous, you’ll be beating influencers off with a stick.”

“Just tell the Dogtrack to pay for your boyfriend’s damage.”

Keeley sticks her tongue out as she swings out of the shop. “If you see the American, you’ll tell me first. Won’t you?”

*

“Tell me a story,” says Cleis. They’re curled up in her bed, her tiny frame pillowed against his side. 

“You’ve had two already.”

“But I want another.” Cleis looks up at him, her eyes clear and green as the sea. “Tell me about Maman.”

Trent stares up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that speckle her bedroom ceiling. Tell me about a complicated woman, he hears Coralie say in his head. She sounds slightly amused. This is an anachronism, of course. Coralie never lived to see the Emily Wilson translation of The Odyssey. She would have loved it.

“Where do I start with your mother?”

“Was she very beautiful?”

“Yes. She knew exactly how beautiful she was and what to do with it.”

“Do I look like her?”

“The spitting image.” Even at four, Cleis looks so much like her mother that Trent will sometimes look over at her, in the middle of something mundane like making dinner or brushing her hair, and the resemblance will strike him like a punch to the gut.

Cleis is pleased by this. “What else?”

“Well. She loved old poems, and she was a lot stronger than she looked, and she wasn’t scared of a thing. Never listened to anyone either.”

“Not even you?”

“I like to think she listened to me a bit more than most other people,” allows Trent, “but even that wasn’t very much.”

Cleis kneads her quilt between her small hands. “Why didn’t she come back?”

Trent swallows. “She couldn’t. She had to save everyone.” Including me, he doesn’t add. Instead he says: “She loved you more than anything in the world.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me so. It was the last thing she said, before – ” Trent stops. Cleis is silent.

“Go to sleep now, chouette.”

It’s another hour before she drifts off to sleep proper. He sits in the dark, her hand tucked in his, until she does.

*

“So that’s your subscriber number, which you should quote in all correspondence with us and over the phone when placing orders. Orders placed within less than twenty-four hours of pick-up will be subject to last-minute fee increments. Is that understood, Mr Rojas?”

The lush-haired young man beams at Trent across the counter. “Si, entiendo.”

“Book club notices are posted on the board to the right,” Trent goes on. “Those are for freelancers, I don’t vet them personally and you attend book club at your own risk. This is for your first assignment.” He hands over a copy of Roberto Bolaño’s 2666. Dani Rojas makes to open it; Trent slams it shut. “Don’t open your books in the store.”

“Okay,” says Dani, wide-eyed. He hefts the book experimentally in his hand. “It is very heavy. Does it have a happy ending?”

Trent snorts. “It’s a Bolaño, what do you think?”

Dani nods cheerfully. “I thank you for this, señor. Literature is life.”

“I mean, it actually isn’t,” says Trent, “which is sort of the whole point – but never mind. All the best, Mr Rojas.”

Dani leaves, whistling. He passes Roy Kent on his way in. “He’s not the American, is he?” says Roy, not quite sotto voce to Trent.

“I rather think he’s Mexican,” says Trent. “Are you all still going on about that? I’d have thought you’d have worked it out by now.”

“Nah,” says Roy. “No idea who it is. Mrs Mannion – that is to say, Ms Welton – is keeping her cards close to her chest. Old Rupert’s foaming at the mouth. They say he’s got hold of some kind of leverage, but fucked if we know what.” He studies the noticeboard. “Anything good at book club?”

“What, are you freelancing now?”

“Reckon I might as well, since it’s all going to shit at the Dogtrack.” Roy frowns at A Moveable Feast, Wednesday 8pm; A Gentleman In Moscow, Thursday 7pm; and Vengeance Is Mine, All Others Pay Cash, Thursday 9pm. He points at the last. “Where’s that one again?”

“East Java. I hear Indonesia’s nice this time of year.”

“Right, let’s give it a go then.”

Trent scribbles down a number on a Post-It and hands it to Roy. “Call it and burn it. You know the drill.”

“Cheers.” Roy regards Trent, brows thickly furrowed. “You’ve seen the American, haven’t you?”

“No comment.” 

Roy grunts. “Bet you have. You’re just being a prick about it, as usual.”

“Whoever it is, they’re probably out in the community already,” says Trent. “Bravely or stupidly.”

“Stupidly,” decides Roy, stalking off.

*

The problem with The Independent is that, despite Trent’s best efforts and the imminently prophesied demise of brick-and-mortar bookselling, it still continues to be a fairly popular bookshop. Trent has no idea why this is. He puts zero effort into the window displays. He shelves the books in no discernible order, so it is virtually impossible for a customer to locate anything. Sometimes he even leaves terrible TripAdvisor reviews for himself, to discourage casual browsers and tourists. And yet the shop continues to see customers – not subscribers, actual book-loving civilians. People keep popping in to have opinions on how Trent should run his bookshop, to complain that he doesn’t sell stationery or upbraid him for not carrying the latest Stephenie Meyer or insinuate that he should hold poetry readings (of their poems) in the store. It’s a marvel that Trent has gone all these years without shooting anyone in the face.

Still, the shop has regulars somehow. There are the subscribers, and then there are normal people who just show up and spend ages browsing, even though Trent has made sure there is nowhere comfortable for them to sit. There is the elderly gent who pops in nearly every morning to thumb through books and point out printing errors to anyone unfortunate enough to be in proximity. There is the teenage girl who spends afternoons seated cross-legged in an aisle, reading The Sandman in instalments. And then there’s Ted Lasso.

“Why’d you call it The Independent?” Ted wants to know. He’s come back to pick up his copy of Silverview, and despite having achieved this with little incident, has nevertheless once more sought out Trent where he is dusting the shelves.

“Because it is an independent bookstore,” says Trent, who is in fact sweeping for bugs. He finds one planted atop a birding guide and surreptitiously crushes and pockets it. “Can I help you with anything else, Mr Lasso?”

“I was wondering where I might find your Graham Greene.”

“I believe we have The Quiet American somewhere in the shop, if you can bear to wait while I excavate it. Though,” adds Trent, “you are a distinctly unquiet American.”

“You can say that again,” says Ted cheerfully. “You wouldn’t happen to have a copy of The Third Man, would you?”

Most people haven’t even seen The Third Man, let alone are aware that it was based on a Graham Greene novella. “You know your spy fiction, Mr Lasso.”

“Call me Ted, won’t you?”

Trent drags the ladder around the corner and retrieves The Third Man from a high shelf near where the ceiling dips. He looks down, head tilted, at the man beaming up at him from the foot of the ladder. You’ve seen the American, haven’t you? Ted Lasso does not look like the kind of American called in to bring down the head of an agency. He looks like a caricature of an American. He has worn the same pair of khakis every time he has set foot in this shop and it is likely he does so without irony. Yet Trent has the feeling that something is off, the way that shots in The Third Man are framed at a slight angle so that the city looks like a painting knocked askew. 

Ted clears his throat. “Kinda staring there, Trent. Makes a fella wonder if he ain’t got toothpaste in his moustache.”

Trent hands over the book. “Why are you here, Ted? Really?”

“First thing I always do when I land in a new place is find a local bookstore,” says Ted brightly. “Tells you a lot about the town, your local bookstore.”

Trent takes off his glasses. “And what, pray, have you learnt from this one?”

“That nothing is where you think it’ll be,” says Ted. “But it sure helps if you ask for directions.” 

“Perhaps you should ask him if he wants to get coffee,” says Miss Bowen after Ted has left. “Isn’t that why you hired me? So you could have more of a social life?”

Trent pinches the bridge of his nose. “I hired you so that in the event of a terrorist attack on the shop, we wouldn’t be short-handed.”

“I’m glad you did. It was this or go back to teaching kindergarten.” She raises her voice sharply as a man in a denim jacket emerges from behind a shelf and shuffles towards the door. “Stop right there!”

“Uh,” says the man intelligently. “What’s this about?”

“We have CCTV in the shop, you know,” says Miss Bowen. “So we’d appreciate it if you didn’t leave the shop with Jonathan Franzen stuffed down your trousers.”

The man leers. “Like to come over and check on it yourself, love?”

Miss Bowen meditatively flicks open the boxcutter she was using to trim plastic wrap. “You know, I just might.”

The man hastily removes the Franzen. “All right, no need to get all shirty about it. I’ll just put it back then.”

“The fuck you will, we’re not touching that again,” says Miss Bowen. “You’re going to leave twenty quid on the counter – with your other hand, mind – and then you’re going to back out the door and never come back.”

“Can’t do that in kindergarten, can you,” remarks Trent after their errant customer has complied and made himself scarce.

“There’s something to be said about the job satisfaction in this place,” agrees Miss Bowen.

*

Trent arrives at his parents’ just in time to see his daughter stabbing his father in the front garden.

“Ah! Ah! Alas!” cries his father, sinking dramatically into the grass as Cleis bashes him joyously with a foam sword. “You’ve got me, dread pirate!”

“Did you kill grandpa, chouette?” says Trent as she greets him by thwacking him on the shins with her sword. 

“Three times,” says Cleis modestly as she is scooped up.

“She’s a bloodthirsty one.” His father is rising ponderously to his feet, brushing grass stains off his knees. He dotes on Cleis in a fashion that was distinctly lacking in Trent’s own childhood. Trent still cannot get over the incongruity of it – the legendary Chester Crimm, scourge of the Stasi Circle, playing pirates on the lawn with a four-year-old. He does have the eyepatch for it, Trent reflects.

His father turns his good eye towards Trent. “Sell a lot of books today, son?”

“Hilarious,” says Trent shortly. “Where’s mum?”

“Getting her hair done.” They head back into the house. “What’s this I’m hearing about an American at the Dogtrack?”

“Christ, I’m sick of hearing about the American. How’d that even get to you?”

“I was at poker night with the old guard. It’s all everyone’s talking about, the Mannion split.” His father pulls a beer from the fridge and hands it to Trent as Cleis makes for the living room television. “Never liked Mannion. Did you know he tried to get off with your mother, back in the day?”

“Ugh,” says Trent faintly.

“That was before he got mixed up with the Welton girl, of course,” says his father with the alacrity of the generation who can get away with calling Rebecca “the Welton girl”. “The agencies are such a shitshow these days. You know, back in my day – ”

“By all means,” says Trent mordantly, “reminisce about the Cold War, dad. What a splendid time that was.”

“You know what I mean,” his father grumbles. “People just got divorced and got on with things. Didn’t go about involving Americans. You’ve not seen the American, have you? Why are you laughing?”

“I’m just thinking of the rhyme,” says Trent. “From The Scarlet Pimpernel.” At his father’s blank look, he recites: “They seek him here, they seek him there, those people seek him everywhere! Is he in heaven or in hell? That damned elusive Pimpernel.”

“Damned!” exclaims Cleis from the doorway. “Damned, damned, damned!”

Trent stares at her, aghast. “Now look what you’ve done,” says his father.

*

Ted isn’t in the shop today, though his bearded friend has put in an appearance. He has only ever been referred to as Beard, and Trent is coming round to the idea that it might actually be the man’s Christian name, because who even knows with Americans? He’s browsing in the back, which is fine, and has been engaged for the past fifteen minutes in a conversation with Jane Payne, which is not so fine.

“Should we say something?” Miss Bowen wonders.

“We are The Independent,” says Trent. “We have a policy of non-interference.”

“I mean, she’s literally toxic. Did you see the photos from her Dubai job?”

“No. Jesus. Why are there even photos?”

Miss Bowen shrugs. “No idea. Everyone’s been sending them around in the group chats. Did not know you could get blood that colour.”

“Miss Payne can do what she likes, provided she does it outside the shop.” Trent pauses. “Though you could ask him if he wants to get coffee.”

“No thank you,” says Miss Bowen. “I have no wish to be stabbed in the pancreas by Jane Payne.”

They are distracted by the shop bell. Trent is surprised and slightly disconcerted to see none other than Rebecca Welton bearing down upon the counter in all her glory. The agency heads rarely visit the shop in person; Trent typically corresponds with Mr Higgins for the Dogtrack’s interests.

“Ms Welton. What can we do for you?”

“I’d like to see your Canterbury Tales special edition,” says Rebecca without preamble. 

Trent blinks. “Certainly. This way.”

In the back room, he opens the case where the Chaucer collection is stored. Rebecca begins looking it over critically. She hefts a rocket launcher experimentally, testing its weight. “Which one is this?”

“The Wife of Bath. Gives you five shots.”

“Hm,” says Rebecca approvingly. “I rather like the sound of that.” She inspects the double-barrelled shotgun dubbed the Man of Law and the poison darts of the Pardoner. “I’ll take the lot for the rest of the month.”

“That’s a lot of firepower,” says Trent bluntly. “You’re not trying to kill your husband, are you?”

“I don’t know why you’d say that, Mr Crimm. Though I suspect he might be trying to kill me.”

“Is it all for you? Or is any of it for the American?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Rebecca, expression immaculate. “Do invoice Mr Higgins.”

*

“Darling,” says Trent in long-suffering tones, “please get out of the tree.”

Cleis responds by clambering to a higher branch. She’ll be a while. Trent sighs and puts his hands on his hips, gazing out across the green. It’s a pleasant Sunday morning in the park, though it doesn’t stop him from tracking every jogger and picnicking couple in the vicinity, combing the milieu for hands in pockets and inside coats, calculating distances and trajectories. 

His gaze moves across and catches on a lone jogger making his way up the path in their direction. That’s Ted Lasso, he’s sure of it: head down, shoulders hunched against the bite of wind off the water, but there’s no mistaking that moustache. As Trent watches, he raises his head and their eyes meet. He does a very convincing double-take. He’s either genuinely surprised to see Trent here, or his acting skills are commendable. That Trent can’t tell says a lot. Then his face splits into a broad grin.

“Hey there, Trent Crimm, The Independent!”

“Hello, Ted Lasso from America.” Trent eyes Ted as he jogs over, beaming affably. He waves his hand awkwardly. “You…live around here?”

“Oh yeah, Beard and I have digs around here. Like to come out for a run on the weekends.”

“Your vacation is stretching on rather,” Trent informs him.

“Oh, we picked up some work,” says Ted evasively. “Thought we’d stick around, make hay while the sun shines. Though you ain’t got a whole lot of hay around these parts. Not like what I’m used to, at any rate.”

“What sort of work do you do, Ted?”

“Human resources,” says Ted blandly.

Trent removes his glasses and fixes Ted with a searching look. Ted meets his gaze, perfectly amiable. Trent narrows his eyes. Ted doesn’t blink. The whole effect is ruined when Cleis leaps out of the tree unannounced and tumbles onto him.

“Oh for f – ” Trent bites off invective as he staggers. “For the last time, my love, climb down.”

“But this is faster,” says Cleis innocently. She appears to notice Ted, and peers at him curiously as Trent sets her down.

“Well hey there, sweetheart,” says Ted. “What’s your name?”

“Cleis.”

“Fais attention,” says Trent, more sharply than is his wont. Cleis stiffens and tucks herself behind his knee. She always takes her cues from him, and he realises too late his body language has been telescoping an ease with Ted that he should not have brooked. She has never introduced herself to a stranger before.

Ted must pick up on some of that, because he stops short of coming over, instead maintaining the distance between them and crouching down till he is at Cleis’s eye level. “That’s a real pretty name,” he tells her. “It’s from a poem, ain’t it?”

“Sappho.” Trent’s throat feels tight.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” says Ted. “Like a small golden flower. Did you name her?”

“No,” says Trent. “That was her mother. She's – she liked the classics.”

On Trent’s first mission to Morocco, he was paired with a young agent with a French accent and a Classics degree. The former was nearly imperceptible except when she was under pressure; the latter was of no use whatsoever on the mission, any more than Trent’s own English degree was.

“You’re gay, aren’t you?” she said after they had spent four minutes making out pointedly in an alcove to distract the security guards of the Casablanca mansion they were breaking into.

“I’m afraid so,” said Trent, picking a lock.

“That’s a relief. I was worried I was losing my touch.” The lock clicked open, and she whistled appreciatively. “Sing to me, Muse, of the man of twists and turns.” 

“The Odyssey? Really?” Trent was secretly delighted that he was no longer the only one pretentious enough to quote classics during a field op. Or Casablanca in Casablanca, even.

She winked at him. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Her name was Coralie Chénier, though they called her “the Owl”. Trent used to envy her this; everyone, despite his best efforts, referred to him as “Chester’s boy”. Then came the Cuba incident, which was such a bloodbath that it earned Trent the moniker “the Jackal”. After that he decided monikers were overrated. At least they matched: the Owl and the Jackal.

Coralie was an orphan – the service preferred either orphans, or those to the manor born, like Trent – and so for the ten years they spent in the field, he was the closest thing she had to next of kin. It was him she told first about Cleis.

“The father?”

She waved a hand dismissively – not in the picture, then. She did not say who it was. Trent knew it to be a crowded field.

“Are you keeping it?”

“I shouldn’t, should I? It’ll take me out of the field for a good stretch.” But he already knew, from the way she rested her hand over her still-flat stomach, that she would.

“I could marry you, if you liked,” he offered.

She laughed. “That’s the sweetest thing any man has ever said to me, darling. But I think I’ll be just fine.”

The last thing she said to him, before she pulled out her comm and charged back into a building rigged with explosives, was: “Promise me you’ll look after her.”

“There must be another way – ”

“I’ve got to do this, Trent,” she said, too gently. “Make sure she knows how much I loved her. All Croesus’ kingdom.”

“I promise – ” but by then she was already gone. 

“I’m sorry,” says Ted, bringing Trent back to the present. His hand tightens on the shoulder of Coralie’s daughter. 

“Thank you,” he says, for lack of anything better.

“Heck of a poem,” Ted adds. 

“Oh yes,” says Trent. I wouldn’t take all Croesus’ kingdom with love thrown in, for her.

[letsplayitcool]

i wish the uk news would ask james cleverly (who's doing the rounds this week and also asked about the rwanda policy) about why £700 million was spent in 18 months (!!!!!!) to effectively not remove anyone to rwanda. why are they not asking this? also why not ask him about why billions, BILLIONS of tax payers money has been washed away on the HS2 and literally nothing has been done. ask him about the £350 million of tax payers money supposedly sent to the EU that was paraded on a red bus for people to vote for brexit.

why ask about if he will be the next tory leader???? i couldn't give a flying fuck if mr. blobby was the next leader. why are the news so bothered by this? they're the opposition and lost the majority of their seats in the election!!!

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Spotify Tracklist below the cut due to length.

0.002 • Nobody Makes Money Anymore • Stephen Chicken • How Many Friends Have You Bought In Your Unsigned Band • 2 be or not to be • I'm In With The Soundcloud • 2 noble kinsmen • Johnny Ramone Joins The Beatles • Mojo Mojo Why Don't You Go And Review This Album Instead Of Another REM Blowjo • Noel Gallagher Is Jealous Of My Studio • My Royalty Statement • YouTube Are Fleecing You • I Wanna Be The New Ed Sheeran • Happy (Un) • Drop That Bridge Like Taylor Swift • The Great Sync Deal In The Sky • Liam Gallagher Is Jealous Of My Clever Turn Of Phrase • Dappy Versus Zombies vs The Pocket Gods • NME NME You're History • Nobody Makes Any Money Anymore • Adele • EMI • Synch • Steve Blacknell's Near Fatal Asthma Attack • Best Of Joe Rogan • Rock N Roll • Modern Music Is Boring Me • Mariah The Pariah • All About The Bass & Not Being Paid A Fair Amount • Neil • We Love Gideon Coe • 0.007 • the bbc will introduce you as long as you're under 25 • this is the end of the music business • Nowhere Left To Play • The Orchard Versus Sony • 6 Music Is The New Radio 1 • youtube are fleecing you outro • we don't need another nero • tory wet dream • Stars On MP3 • Racist Seaside Town They Forgot To Close Down • Starbuckers • Corporation Lax • Grotify • Brexiteers of The World Unite (ironically) • Penny Arcade Jukebox Scam • The Weak Spine Of Mr Cameron • Exit Brexit For Xmas • I Hate Hipsters • Ballad Of The Lonely Fruit Picker • Absent Smelly Stick Your Pay To Play Up Your Bottom • Shazam Kazam It's All A Mystery To Me • Peter Doherty's Quest For A Mythical Albion • Deezer Geezer • Brown Nose Brexit • A&R Pervert Man • Steve Jobs • Why Did I Write This Album With 1000 Songs On Now I have No Social Life • Shoddy Waddy • Best Of Boris Johnson • Pusher • Disinformate the Disinformators • Radio 2 Is Cool • It's The Brits • Lawyer V Liar • blah blah the music industry ceo goes • Folsom Prison Jism • The Forumla To Work Out My Royalties Is More Complicated Than The Superstring Theory Of Everything • Country Chaos • 45 Rip • John Peel's On The Phone • Another Generic Pop Song • Cesspool Karaoke • Bait Oven • Lucy Fux Cowell • Precious Electro Pop Indie Band Change The World • Minceyments • Zx Spectrum Soundtrack • Why Did I Write This Album With 1000 Songs On Now I have No Wife • Alan Mghee and the Pink Raincoat • The Monkees Gave Good Head • Michael Jackson Vs The illumati • The Sound Of The Future AI Bot • Mac Book Ho • Shabby Road • I.will.Iam Shakespeare • Feed Me Seymour • Auto Tune Loon • Reality TV Killed The Video Star • Madame Jo Jo's • Modern Music Is Boring Me • Small Town Musos • Medusa • Pledge • Ex Tractor • Jarvis Said Send Me Your Christmas Album • I'm A D List St Albans' Musician Get ME Out Of Here • Santasucker • Who Knows Who The F*ck Is Number 1? • Joe Meek • Pay To Play • Dodgy London Promoter • He's A Local Music Star • You Can't Shoplift MP3s • 2nd Biggest Band In The Village • Tedious day Job Rescue me me universe • The End Of The Mean Times )LOA) • The End Of The Pocket Gods? • Odd one out (just for the cd remember them?) • Premier • 2016 • 2379 • A Fool On The chill • Ac • Ag • Living On Top Of A Porno Cinema • ahura mazda • Al • White Noise Christmas • Albany • Alexi (not Sanchez) Put The Grunge Into Soccer! • all in all it's just another prick in the wall • All Things Must Pass • all you need is love and money • Always Look On The Norman Whiteside Of Life • Am • And Your Bird Can Sing • ANOTHER BLING FOOTBALLER • Another Blue Plaque • Another clown on the ground rolling around • APOCRYPHA • A&R Talking • Watch Out Lockdown is Coming • As • When BJ Apologies All I Hear Is This • Au • AVATAR • Sue's Redacted Report • Silence (sound of lockdown) with Tinnitus • ballad of blackfriars tavern • ballad of the lonely people again • Banksies dodgy beer • Bard For Life • Bard Rock Cafe • Bardify • Be • Beatles Wives Can't Sing • Beatles On A Tinny Tannoy (Ode to Shay) • Beatles On Spotify • BEST player not have played at a World Cup

Best Tattoo • better part of valour • Better Than The Stones • Beware The IDS of March • Bi • Big Willie Style • Bigger Than Jesus…but Jesus Never Toured (the US) • Bight the Apple That Feeds • billy fury • Billy Preston (was the 5th beatle) • Spent Too Long Watching Get Back • Blind Hope • blisters on my fingers • Bond Girl • Bono Is Bigger Than The Beatles • Br • dead tod • bring me the head of francis bacon • Bud Miser • Had Enougth Of Politics • C • Ca • Cardenio • Cathrine • What Party? • I wasn't there honest guv • Deffo A Work Event • Christ as Stoichkov • christmas in cricklewood • chuck berry we stole his riffs • Church Of Merch • Nothing to See here • Cm • Co • CONTE VERDE • Cornwall • Cr • Crap World Cup Mascot • Cs • cu night twelfth • Cu • Cygnus • Cynthia v Yoko • David Bowie v Shakespeare • day 1 of lockdown oh my god • day 2 of lockdown be good to get our • day 3 of lockdown wtf? • day 4 of lockdown jim jams • day 5 of lockdown call docs • day 6 of lockdown bed head • day 7 of lockdown not getting out of bed • day 8 of lockdown st albans' wine & cheese extravaganza • day 9 of lockdown grateful we don't live in a flat in london • day 10 of lockdown another day • day 11 of lockdown locked out of the playground • day 12 of lockdown thank god for nomansland • day 13 of lockdown project fear being ramped up • day 14 of lockdown 3 word phrases • day 15 of lockdown take away take away • day 16 of lockdown blah • day 17 of lockdown it's like picadilly circus outside my house • day 18 of lockdown slobs days • day 19 of lockdown knock more tracks off • day 20 of lockdown still waiting for my EMDR treatment god what is going on? • day 21 of lockdown phoned the mental health emergency helpline and got cut off after an hour on hold it's pretty desperate • day 22 of lockdown need my freedom need to escape need to get out can't stand being trapped inside (childhood memories) • day 23 of lockdown at least I don't drink anymore though quite tempted to start again • day 24 of lockdown I'm certain that when we look back after the pandemic has finished we will see that lockdowns caused more harm than good • day 25 of lockdown driving to the next village will we get arrested? • day 26 of lockdown another day another walk so glad we live in the country • day 27 of lockdown working at home zoom freak out • day 28 of lockdown not much to say today • day 29 of lockdown got another idea for a world record • day 30 of lockdown is this the right person to be leading us and what is it all really about, still no word on EMDR • day 32 of lockdown not sure what day it is • day 33 of lockdown just keep going and still waiting for Psychiatrist to call • day 34 of lockdown spring is here shall I have an alcohol free beer? • day 35 of lockdown so many 3 word phrases quite frightening • day 36 of lockdown life is now all online what a drag • day 37 of lockdown right said fred are speaking out against lockdown what does it mean • day 38 of lockdown is more tedious than this album • day 39 of lockdown cheese and toast is the new rock n roll • day 40 of lockdown one day hats will be eaten • day 41 of lockdown survived the wicker man • day 42 of lockdown long way to go when will it end • day 43 of lockdown life is an online barbie fashion show • day 44 of lockdown run run run fat boy • day 45 of lockdown May 6th 2020 • day 46 of lockdown I bet they're having parties in Downing Street • day 47 of lockdown there's a reason why this is played in morse code • day 48 of lockdown this is morse code for why don't Spotify and Apple pay us more money • day 49 of lockdown If I Can Get Through Lockdown and finish this album of 1000 tracks then that would mean something • day 50 of lockdown May 11th 2020 • day 51 of lockdown bet there's been another party in Downing Street • day 52 of lockdown anyone still listening? • day 53 of lockdown we're all in this together? • day 54 of lockdown I can't wear a mask it triggers my PTSD what am i to do?

day 55 of lockdown cross it off my bedroom wall and the walrus was paul • day 56 of lockdown gonna have to go off sick can't cope with lockdown and having no treatment • day 57 of lockdown gp signed me off still no sign of EMDR oh well let's go for a walk • day 58 of lockdown no comment today • day 59 of lockdown we are putting our trust in a corrupt government let's all focus on making our own world a better place • day 60 of lockdown hospitality hospitality they've all got it in for hospitality • day 61 of lockdown The Rose And Crown • day 62 of lockdown longing to be back in Kessingland • day 63 of lockdown toast toast toast • day 64 of lockdown taking up metal detecting shame it's illegal in lockdown • day 65 of lockdown does Ed Sheeran fancy a track on this album? • day 66 of lockdown yeah that kind of sucks • day 67 of lockdown Our cat Minty has Pohms and he likes you to smell dem • day 68 of lockdown this album is like a musical filibuster • day 69 of lockdown i used to be a socialist now i just prefer colouring in • day 70 of lockdown ah might be starting my EMDR soon online of course would be nice to do it in person but there you go • day 71 of lockdown spell dem • day 72 of lockdown that's me in the corner • day 73 of lockdown smile and be happy • day 74 of lockdown amazon and on • day 75 of lockdown boot noot • day 76 of lockdown can i just sit it out this great reset thing • day 77 of lockdown june 7th • day 78 of lockdown june 8th 2020 • day 79 of lockdown june 9th 2020 • day 80 of lockdown june 10th 2020. • day 81 of lockdown june 11th 2020 • day 82 of lockdown june 12th 2020 • day 83 of lockdown june 13th 2020 • day 84 of lockdown june 14th 2020 • day 85 of lockdown june 15th 2020 • day 86 of lockdown june 16th 2020 • day 87 of lockdown june 17th 2020 • day 88 of lockdown june 18th 2020 • day 89 of lockdown june 19th 2020 • day 90 of lockdown june 20th 2020 is there another party? • day 91 of lockdown june 21st 2020 i quit! • day 92 of lockdown june 22nd 2020 • day 93 of lockdown june 23rd 2020 • day 94 of lockdown june 24th 2020 i'm 50 should have been playing the 100 club but i'm having fun in the garden pook with the family • day 95 of lockdown june 25th 2020 • day 96 of lockdown june 26th 2020 • day 97 of lockdown june 27th 2020 • day 98 of lockdown june 28th 2020 • day 99 of lockdown june 29th 2020 • day 100 of lockdown june 30th 2020 • day 101 of lockdown july 1st 2020 12 weeks my arse • day 102 of lockdown july 2nd 2020 summer mask implosion • day 103 of lockdown july 3rd 2020 • day 104 of lockdown july 4th 2020 independence day ha! • day 105 of lockdown july 5th 2020 • day 106 of lockdown july 6th 2020 ooh i need your maths babe • day 107 of lockdown july 7th 2020 • day 108 of lockdown july 8th 2020 the cues watch the queues • day 109 of lockdown july 9th 2020 • day 110 of lockdown july 10th 2020 • day 111 of lockdown july 11th 2020 pants • day 112 of lockdown july 12th 2020 • day 113 of lockdown july 13th 2020 only 1/3 way through yikes • day 114 of lockdown july 14th 2020 • day 115 of lockdown july 15th 2020 • day 116 of lockdown july 16th 2020 • day 117 of lockdown july 17th 2020 • day 118 of lockdown july 18th 2020 • day 119 of lockdown july 19th 2020 • day 120 of lockdown july 20th 2020 • day 121 of lockdown july 21st 2020 • day 122 of lockdown july 22nd 2020 • day 123 of lockdown july 23rd 2020 • day 124 of lockdown july 24th 2020 • day 125 of lockdown july 25th 2020 • day 126 of lockdown july 26th 2020.wav • day 127 of lockdown july 27th 2020 • day 128 of lockdown july 28th 2020 • day 129 of lockdown july 29th 2020 • day 130 of lockdown july 30th 2020 • day 131 of lockdown july 31st 2020 • day 132 of lockdown August 1st 2020 • day 133 of lockdown August 2nd 2020 • day 134 of lockdown August 3rd 2020 • day 135 of lockdown August 4th 2020.wav • day 136 of lockdown August 5th 2020 • day 137 of lockdown August 6th 2020 • day 138 of lockdown August 7th 2020 • day 139 of lockdown August 8th 2020

day 140 of lockdown August 9th 2020 • day 141 of lockdown August 10th 2020 • day 142 of lockdown August 11th 2020 • day 143 of lockdown August 12th 2020 • day 144 of lockdown August 13th 2020 • day 145 of lockdown August 14th 2020 • day 146 of lockdown August 15th 2020 • day 147 of lockdown August 16th 2020 time for a pizza party • day 148 of lockdown August 17th 2020 • day 149 of lockdown August 18th 2020.wav • day 150 of lockdown August 19th 2020 ya ya • day 151 of lockdown August 20th 2020 • day 152 of lockdown August 21st 2020 • day 153 of lockdown August 22nd 2020 pass me the port • day 154 of lockdown August 23rd 2020 • day 155 of lockdown August 24th 2020 • day 156 of lockdown August 25th 2020 • day 157 of lockdown August 26th 2020 • day 158 of lockdown August 27th 2020 • day 159 of lockdown August 28th 2020 • day 160 of lockdown August 29th 2020 • day 161 of lockdown August 30th 2020 • day 162 of lockdown August 31st 2020 • day 163 of lockdown September 1st 2020 • day 164 of lockdown September 2nd 2020 • day 165 of lockdown September 3rd 2020 • day 166 of lockdown September 4th 2020 • day 167 of lockdown September 5th 2020 • day 168 of lockdown September 6th 2020 • day 169 of lockdown September 7th 2020 • day 170 of lockdown September 8th 2020 • day 171 of lockdown September 9th 2020 • day 172 of lockdown September 10th 2020 • day 173 of lockdown September 11th 2020 • day 174 of lockdown September 12th 2020 • day 175 of lockdown September 13th 2020 • day 176 of lockdown September 14th 2020 • day 177 of lockdown September 15th 2020 • day 178 of lockdown September 16th 2020 • day 179 of lockdown September 17th 2020 • day 180 of lockdown September 18th 2020 • day 181 of lockdown September 19th 2020 • day 182 of lockdown September 20th 2020 • day 183 of lockdown September 21st 2020 • salami danger man • napoleon hill • joey ramone • john altman was in star wars • the trumpton diets • bono was quite good in that kids film • dave spud is the new rock and roll • bj is trump lite or NWO • blaze tv • Howard Hughes And The Unexplained • the mighty terriers (god loves) • hogan v rogan • i'd cancel myself but no-one would notice • i always preferred bonehead • holiday inn syncs • day job knobhead • qi • If I Get Back On H&J I Will Buy Them Cake • NFT NFT they've all got an NFT • Ricky Gervais Is My Hero • This Album Is Sponsored By….. • Let's Dance Is The Best Bowie Album • Can't Get A GIG in our own town (st Albans) • we don't talk about bruno (fernandes) not scoring anymore • Frank • one day I will duet with dua lipa • help me rhondda witht he LOA • private eye knows the truth about prince andrew • you can advertise here • the science of getting rich is just get people to buy your books • putin never misses a trick • i'm visualising going on the one show to talk about this album • graham norton guest yes that would be fine • i feel real change coming and people will start to value music more imagine life without it • imagine if that $100 million that rogan was paid was instead invested in new music just imagine • since napster and the wild west days of the internet people expect to get it for free - musicians, songwriters and artists all deseve to be paid a fair amount • all we are asking for is a level playing field and transparency • the music industry is eveloving record companies must embrace change and respect the music creators • we all need to come toegther • da doo ron ron aldo • middle of the road all musicians are walking down at the moment expand your minds • the masked singer • should i change my name to elvis • my god the hollies were crap • clement stone • is instagram just for shallow people • the mind can achieve whatever it can conceive • 52 and still wearing my old band t shirts is that ok Mr Robert Crampton? • looking foward to playing this song on Jool Holland • rolling stone are going to do a feature on this album • frank skinner go on give this track a play it's only 30 seconds long and it's for a good cause

attitude of gratitude • are the DSPs having a competition to see who can get away with paying the least amount of royalties • day 237 of lockdown November 14th 2020 • day 238 of lockdown November 15th 2020 • day 239 of lockdown November 16th 2020 • day 240 of lockdown November 17th 2020 • day 241 of lockdown November 18th 2020 • day 242 of lockdown November 19th 2020 • day 243 of lockdown November 20th 2020 • day 244 of lockdown November 21st 2020 • day 245 of lockdown November 22nd 2020 • day 246 of lockdown November 23rd 2020 • day 247 of lockdown November 24th 2020.wav • day 248 of lockdown November 25th 2020 • day 249 of lockdown November 26th 2020 • day 250 of lockdown November 27th 2020 • day 251 of lockdown November 28th 2020 • day 252 of lockdown November 29th 2020 • day 253 of lockdown November 30th 2020 • day 254 of lockdown December 1st 2020 • day 255 of lockdown December 2nd 2020 • day 256 of lockdown December 3rd 2020 • day 257 of lockdown December 4th 2020 • day 258 of lockdown December 5th 2020 • day 259 of lockdown December 6th 2020 • day 260 of lockdown December 7th 2020 • day 261 of lockdown December 8th 2020 • day 262 of lockdown December 9th 2020 • day 263 of lockdown December 10th 2020 • day 264 of lockdown December 11th 2020 • day 265 of lockdown December 12th 2020 • day 266 of lockdown December 13th 2020 • day 267 of lockdown December 14th 2020 • day 268 of lockdown December 15th 2020 • day 269 of lockdown December 16th 2020 • day 270 of lockdown December 17th 2020 • day 271 of lockdown December 18th 2020 • day 272 of lockdown December 19th 2020 • day 273 of lockdown December 20th 2020 • day 274 of lockdown December 21st 2020 • day 275 of lockdown December 22nd 2020 • day 276 of lockdown December 23rd 2020 • day 277 of lockdown December 24th 2020 xmas is cancelled well probably not for BJ and crew • day 278 of lockdown December 25th 2020 • day 279 of lockdown December 26th 2020 • day 280 of lockdown December 27th 2020 • day 281 of lockdown December 28th 2020 • day 282 of lockdown December 29th 2020 • day 283 of lockdown December 30th 2020 • day 284 of lockdown December 31st 2020 • day 285 of lockdown January 1st 2021 • day 286 of lockdown January 2nd 2021 • day 287 of lockdown January 3rd 2021 • day 288 of lockdown January 4th 2021 • day 289 of lockdown January 5th 2021 • day 290 of lockdown January 6th 2021 • day 291 of lockdown January 7th 2021 • day 292 of lockdown January 8th 2021 • day 293 of lockdown January 9th 2021 • day 294 of lockdown January 10th 2021 • day 295 of lockdown January 11th 2021 • day 296 of lockdown January 12th 2021 • zero hours hero • i'm going to sell this album for $48 million • day 299 of lockdown January 15th 2021. • penistone • heaven • fleximusicarian • uri made me do it • ey up it's the hispanic atmosphere of huddersfield town centre • holiday chalet • pleasure beach • i am banksy • no i am banksy • day 309 of lockdown January 25th 2021 • i think there's more than 1 banksy • bad mj style • encanto v frozen • i got invited to join the priory of sion once • beanie boo • gary neville and his moral high ground • paris st germain • day 317 of lockdown February 2nd 202 • day 318 of lockdown February 3rd 2021 • day 319 of lockdown February 4th 2021.wav • davos • what shall we do with the drunken norman mailer • ernie • yvette fielding • total dramrama • wooj • sandi on qi • st albans' people • stream queen • david wagner • my tps reports are wrong again • ctr alt del • ai bot but • Jay Z • LMFAO • Omari West • shawn carter • chicken soup for my rock n roll soul • i thought i was the best rapper in the world • day 339 of lockdown February 24th 2021 • vision it first • thoughts become things • vegasversary • let's gor crazy beep beep • loa part 2 • mystery pohms • coked up interns in the bog • nme • protest too much • another miracle • galaxy quest • chris warburton is a decent chap • under the surface • IT man Noel • badminton iggy pop style • day 355 of lockdown March 12th 2021

day 356 of lockdown March 13th 2021.wav • just chopsing • caiman show • thank you to all our fans • karma • day 361 of lockdown March 18th 2021 • day 362 of lockdown March 19th 2021 • day 363 of lockdown March 20th 2021 • day 364 of lockdown March 21st 2021 • my god get back is longer than this album • day 366 of lockdown March 23rd 2021 • day 367 of lockdown March 24th 2021 • the family madrigal • day 369 of lockdown March 26th 2021 • day 370 of lockdown March 27th 2021 • day 371 of lockdown March 28th 2021 • day 372 of lockdown March 29th 2021 • day 373 of lockdown March 30th 2021 • day 374 of lockdown March 31st 2021 • day 375 of lockdown April 1st 2021 • day 376 of lockdown April 2nd 2021 • day 377 of lockdown April 3rd 2021 • day 378 of lockdown April 4th 2021 • day 379 of lockdown April 5th 2021 • day 380 of lockdown April 6th 2021 • day 381 of lockdown April 7th 2021 • day 382 of lockdown April 8th 2021 • day 383 of lockdown April 9th 2021 • day 384 of lockdown April 10th 2021 • day 385 of lockdown April 11th 2021 • day 386 of lockdown April 12th 2021 • we love haulix • We love hotpress! • Rodney Of The Rock • Daniel Ek The Visionary • day 391 of lockdown April 17th 2021 • one falls they all fall • day 393 of lockdown April 19th 2021 • Lazar 111 • day 395 of lockdown April 21st 2021 • guess that official spotify playlist isn't going to happen now • day 397 of lockdown April 23rd 2021 • day 398 of lockdown April 24th 2021 • day 399 of lockdown April 25th 2021.wav • day 400 of lockdown April 26th 2021 • day 401 of lockdown April 27th 2021 • day 402 of lockdown April 28th 2021 • day 403 of lockdown April 29th 2021 • day 404 of lockdown April 30th 2021 • day 405 of lockdown May 1st 2021 • day 406 of lockdown May 2nd 2021 • day 407 of lockdown May 3rd 2021 • day 408 of lockdown May 4th 2021 • time walker • are we there yet • day 411 of lockdown May 7th 2021.wav • day 412 of lockdown May 8th 2021 • day 413 of lockdown May 9th 2021 • day 414 of lockdown May 10th 2021 • day 415 of lockdown May 11th 2021 • day 416 of lockdown May 12th 2021 • peace piece • talk about the nice time • define • froota • going viral • theses • munching carrots • new gwr • the beatles used the law of attraction • new machine • tct • more plinky guff • anyone bored yet? • fatman jogging (me) • urgent letter • mike errico thank you • day 433 of lockdown May 29th 2021 • columbo • bbq • bar mexe • may your dreams come • rolling atone baby baby • arts and dafts • afters • v is for • misquote • day 443 of lockdown June 8th 2021.wav • hungary • french fries • yo t l • level 42 met mark king in a pub • dinosaur • dance youself dizzy • no score • gritter splitta • jools • bombs • penalty • spurs • day 456 of lockdown June 21st 2021 • db • dear losers • Dear Losers still on repeat sorry • demons • dg • Dino Zoff • Dreaming Of THat Perfect Goal • Drowsy • DUA LIPA • Dull & Bottom • Dy • el mundo gira • elegy • Er • Es • Eu • noel ed • EVERY CRAP INDIE BAND SHOULD RECORD AT LEAST ONE FOOTY SONG • Every Nation Has It's Golden Generation • Exit (pursued by a bear) • F • Facist Football Hater • Faerie Queen • farewell part 1 • farewell part 2 • Farewell parts 1 and 2 • FAST RED MAN • Fe • feedback at the start of i feel fine • FIFA Sutherland • Food of Love • Fr • Franz • french got the funk on • from russia with hetero love • FUELLED UP ON ENERGY DRINKS • Full Fathom 5 Live • Full Time • Ga • Gaberdines And Pantaloons • Garincha Stryder • Gary Lineker • Gazza'a tears • Gd • Ge • george harrison didn't write his 2 biggest hits • gethsamane • give ringo another crap country song • glass onion • glitter on my carpet • GROTESQUE • H • Half Time • Hamlet • Happy Camper • Happy Dagger • have love will louis louis • He • He's A Sticker Licker • Heart's Content • HELL MONEY • helter skelter pissed in the bus shelter • Henry IV part 3 • Henry V's Doorbell • Her Majesty Was The First 30 second song • here come's the sun • HERRENVOLK • Hey Ho Nonny Nonny • Hf • Hg • High Time

Ho • Holographic Beatles On Tour • home • Homeward Bound • Hungary 10 El Salvador 1 • I don't give a flying folio malvolio • I Feel Fine • I got 3 years solitary for bringing my own beer • I ME ME RONALDO! • I ONCE AUDITIONED FOR A BAND CALLED MEXICO 70 • i wanna hold your hand but I'll ask you first • I wanna Hold Your Hand While YOu Sign My A Cheque For a million pound • I Wish The World Cup Was In Brazil Again says lonely sports reporter • I WROTE AND RECORDED 100 SONGS ABOUT THE WORLD CUP IN 2 DAYS, CAN'T YOU TELL • i.am will.i.am shakespeare. • I • I'm a Pal a Salah • I'm Going TO Make you A VAR • I'm Leaving On an standard class Aer Lingus. • I'M SUPPORTING PUSSY RIOT • I'm The Only Person Who Wants Iceland To Get Knocked Out Early.wav • If Prince had written a World Cup song it wouldn't sound like this • If Shakespeare Was Alive Today He'd Be Writing For Youtube • if the beatles were an 80s band • If this album doesn't get me an interview on Hawksbee & Jacobs I'm Going to stop listening to Talksport • If you Listen To The beatles backwards it says thyhtnkks • If You Play THis Song Backwards It Will Sound Crap. • Inv • INTER STELLAR CUP. • introducing the beatles • Ir • It gets a bit messy when you try to rhyme with Messi. • It is music with her silver sound • it's juck a fucking xebra crossing • It's Not even a realy country anyway • Jeremy Corbyn As Julius Ceasar • john lennon v the fbi • joey ramone joins the beatles • jose chungs from outer space. • Josimar comeback • Jules Rimming. • Julian Lennon PLayed THis Piano Once. • JUMPERS FOR GOAL POSTS. • Just Don't Let Spain Win Again • K • KADDISH. • KGB V FBI WORLD WAR 3 COMING SOON • King James 46 • King John's Rant • Kingdom For A Stage. • Kr • La • Lark • Larry O • leonard betts. • Let Music Sound • Letchkov not Letcho • Li. • live and let die is the best bond theme. • Living On Top Of A Porno Cinema • Love Is Blind. • Lr • Lu. • magic alex • man from the motor trade. • Manna • Marying A Punk. • MAX. • mcartney's ego trip part 2 • McCartney's Ego Trip • MEMENTO MORI • Mg • Mn. • Mo • MOOY JOY • Motley Coat • mr kite • Mr Trump • Much Ado • musings of a csm • N • Na • Nb • Nd • Ne. • nems • NEVER AGAIN. • Ni. • NO SCORE…NO DRAW. • none more white. • Not Many Beatles Songs Start in A Minor Key • Not Many Foootball Players Like Punk! • Np. • Oberon Kenobi. • On Shakespeare's Grave • on the field where i died • Ophelia • Os. • Oyster. • P. • Pa • paper hearts • Patti • paul's first acid trip • Pb • Pd. • PELE • Pet Sounds • Pete Best • Pick (ford) Of The Pops - Numba 1 • pickles the dog • PIPER • Play On. • Playing For Penalties. • Pm • Po • Pr • Pt • Putin hot • Pursued By A Bear • Pusher • QUAGMIRE • Hall Of fame • Quickly • ra ra poohtin • Ra • Rain • Ray Wilson • Rb. • Re • Redux 1. • Redux 2. • Revolution number 9 was way ahed of its time • rf. • Rh • Ringo's Replacement • Ripping Off The Beach Boys • Rn • Rocky Racoon as a Trump Type tycoon • Rome • Romeo & Juliet • ronnie scott • Ru • rubber soul was the greatest • Russian Bear • S • sanguinarium • Sb • Sc. • scrambled eggs. • scurvy politician • Se. • sergeant pepper seeks lady madonna to form lonely hearts club band • Second Best Bed (In Da House) • Shake It Off • All Over? • Shakespeare In Time • Shakespeare The Commuter • Shakespeare v Aliens. • Shakespeare v Spotify • Shaking Speare Stevens • Shaquiri V Shakira • She's A Woman • shitter's full. • Si • silent night • Slave Labour Stadiums • Sm • Sm1 • SMALLPOTATOES • Sn. • Sonic Youth Play The Beatles • world cup widows • Sounds Of Music • Spot the player on Coke • Sr • Stadium Inferno • Stage Craft Beer. • Star Of England • Stop Calling It The White Album - It's The Beatles! • Suicide In Shakespeare. • corned beef curry (not my idea) • Larry O • SYNCHRONY • SZYGY 4 • Ta • TALITHA • TAX CHEATS • tb or not tb • Tb • Tc. • when does art become pretension? • Teliko • TEMPUS FUGIT • TERMA • TEsos dos bichos 2 • the very best of Boris Johnson

The Ballad Of The Poisened Referee • The Beatles Gave Us Backwards Guitar • The Beatles Meet Elvis and Play Bass. • The Beatles Meet The Queen • THE BEST ONE YET • The Blue Samurai • the catcher in the rye. • The Charnocks. • The Curse Of WS • The Day I Met George Martin • the death of good duke humphrey • the doors took more drugs than the beatles • The First Twitter World Cup • The Globe • the hamburg days • The Life Of Brian • the long and winding road to get this album finished • The Maradona OF The Carpathians • The Middle Class Wives Of Windsor • The Miracle Of Bern • the missing chord • The Old Boys Of Panama • the people that don't get the beatles. • The Ringo Button • The Seven Moons • the trembling wilburrys • the usual suspects • The Water Carrier • THe White Album • There are 3 Gary Stevens But Only one of them caught a glimpse of Maradonna flying by • japan • this is a northern song • when does sound become music • Time Doth Waste Me • soundaries • white noise symphony • to die to sleep no more. • Tomorrow Never Knows Is The First Techno Track. • Tongue In Your Tail. • TOO MANY WHITE LINES • Tosspots. • Trident Studio Jam • Trump Town • TUNGUSKA • Turn Turn Turn in a Cruyf Style • U • unbeaten keepers • UNREQUITED • UNRUHE • V is for Vacumn • W • Was it Bobby or Roger Moore that was the towel thief. • WE ALL HATE WHEN ITV HAS THE MATCHES • We All Know Sexie Sadie Was About The Maharishi.wav • We All Live In A Yellow Submarine • We All Love Football Guff. • WETWIRED • WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HALF TIME ORANGES • whatever happened to 442 • When i'm Pissed I'll Shout • When Shall We 3 Meet Again • when we were fab. • While THey Play The Bombs Keep Dropping • why were wings so • will anyone get close to Klose • Willow Willow Willow • World Cup Snacks • WORLD CUP WIDOWS • World Cup Winners Aftershow Party • World Cup Winners Hangover • World In Motion Was So Over Rated • World Of Leather • Xe • summer jesus • Y • Yb • you can't burn streams • zero sum • didn't think I would make it to 1000 • ok thanks to all involved and peace and love • 3000 streams just for a pint • time to go it's chicken time

[workersolidarity]

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UNITED KINGDOM HIGH COURT RULES IN FAVOR OF JULIAN ASSANGE, APPEALS MAY BEGIN

The High Court of the United Kingdom in British capital of London, ruled today in favor of Julian Assange, deciding the WikiLeaks founder will have an opportunity to appeal his extradition to the United States in British courts.

The High Court also gave the United States government three weeks the give guarantees that Julian Aplssange will be able to defend himself by invoking his rights under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. The Court also seeks assurances that Mr. Assange will not face the death penalty nor that he will be disadvantage by his status as an Australian citizen, all of which the U.S. has so far refused to provide the Court.

If these assurances are not met, Assange will be granted permission to appeal and a hearing will take place.

Had the Court ruled against Assange, all his appeals would have been exhausted and his extradition to the United States would have been granted immediately.

Mr. Assange faces charges in the United States under the Espionage Act, an antiquated and draconian law never before used in cases involving journalists.

A last ditch effort could also have been made to appeal to the European Court of Human Rights, however, following Brexit, it is unclear what, if anything, a European Court ruling against the extradition .could have done to influence the British decision.

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@WorkerSolidarityNews

[eaglesnick]

“The game is rigged to work for those who already have money and power.”  Elizabeth Warren

A few months ago, before the election, I wrote:

“A vote for Nigel Farage’s Reform Party is essentially a vote for business and the rich.” (13/06/24)

I pointed out that under Reform UK, the biggest tax breaks would go to big corporations and the already very wealthy.

Richard Tice, former leader of Reform UK is a multi-millionaire. Hedge-fund billionaire Paul Marshal and the Dubai based investment company Legrartum, founded by New Zealand billionaire Christopher Chandler who made his fortune in Russian gas, bankroll right-wing GB News, where Farage and Tice have their own shows.

Multi-millionaire Jeremy Hosking gave £2,578,000 to Reform UK coffers.  Another major donor to Reform is the ex-Bullingdon Club member George Farmer. An “ardent supporter of Donald Trump”, Farmer was CEO of the far-right platform Parler, and is married to Candice Owens, a woman who “promotes far-right ideologies”. In 2023 he joined the board of GB News.

According to Electoral Commission records Chris Harborne handed over £10 million to Brexit/Reform. He gained notoriety when his name appeared multiple times in the Panama Papers. These documents revealed:

 “…off-shore holdings of world political leaders, links to global scandals, and details of  hidden financial dealings of fraudsters, drug traffickers, billionaires, celebrities, sports stars and more”. (International Consortium of Investigative Journalists: 03/03/2016)

Reform UK is essentially funded by the rich.  They see Nigel Farage’s party as a means of furthering their own already substantial wealth. Only an idiot would believe these individuals are spending millions of their own money because they want to improve the lives of ordinary working people or because they want to “protect British values".

Farage makes great play with “protecting British values”:

“Nigel Farage signalled a return to right-wing shock tactics for his Reform UK party, as he used his first election interview to attack Muslims in the UK for “not sharing British values”. (Independent 26/05/24)

Strange then that Farage was willing to take money from a rich Muslim donor during the election campaign.

“Muslim millionaire gives major donation to Reform UK…The precise amount Zia Yusef has given to the party has not been disclosed but  Reform UK claims it is the biggest donation to their election campaign so far”  (BBC News: 19/06/24)

Stranger still for a man who promised “a much more muscular defence of our Christian heritage and our Christian Constitution”,  to appoint Yusef as Reform UK Party Chairman only a few days AFTER the election results.

What Reform UK is really about is protecting the wealthy. Talk of defending British values is just a smoke screen to garner votes, playing on peoples concerns about immigration to get into power. It should therefore come as no surprise that it has been revealed that Nigel Farage is the best paid politician at Westminster.

 We learned this week that Farage is earning ££98,000 a month, working for the right-wing GB News. In addition, Farage has received a £30,000 donation to pay for his trip to support Donald Trump during the US election campaign.

The total number of hours worked b Mr Farage for paid employment outside of Parliament is officially 32hrs a week. Clearly, he is more interested in lining his own pockets than in attending to his duties as an elected MP and looking after the interests of his constituents in Clacton.

If you really want to understand what Reform UK is really about then you cant beat the old adage, "follow the money".