#mr mignola you are a true genius

[love-laugh-lobotomy]

obsessed with the relationship between Abraham and hellboy. Not brothers not friends not lovers but a secret fourth thing. Bound together. Destined for eachother. Inseparable. A matched set. Dual spirits. Neither one can truly die while the other lives.

Both were created by immensely powerful forces (the royalty of hell, the ancient god of the ocean depths) for purposes that are entirely dependent on one another: one is destined to destroy the modern world, the other destined to create a new Eden from the wreckage.

the color theory of red and blue in contrast but still matching, just like the stark difference in personality: Abraham’s violence and recklessness and calculated behavior and almost emotionless demeanor versus hellboys patience and kindness and impulsive, anger fueled outbursts and utter horror at the idea of harming the world in any way.

The religious symbolism of the name Abraham. The tenderness of their relationship. Their first meeting, even. Hellboy saying he was essentially a lab rat for so much of his life and that he can’t bear to see that happen to anyone else. Abraham saying that during his first years he was afraid of everything except hellboy. The way they fell into each others arms.

it’s not even homoeroticism; it’s something else entirely

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight - Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Disney is not a company that really has a lot of cult classics; almost every animated film in their canon is pretty mainstream, critically acclaimed, and all that. However, there are a few bona fide cult classics among the canon, most notably the dark fantasy The Black Cauldron, the sci-fi reimagining that is Treasure Planet, and of course this movie, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, a pulpy sci-fi/fantasy adventure story about a team comprised of mercenaries and a geeky, charming nerd venturing forth to discover the legendary lost city. This film is known for underperforming at the box office, being generally ignored by Disney in pretty much all facets, and helped usher in Disney’s Dork Age in the 2000s. And yet, over time, the film has amassed quite a following… does it deserve it, is the real question?

Well, let’s start by looking at the story… in the early 20th century, linguist Milo Thatch has supposedly uncovered evidence of the lost civilization of Atlantis, the mythical, hyper-advanced civilization that disappeared beneath the sea ages ago. Of course, his theories are outright rejected by his peers… but not by Mr. Whitmore, a rich man who knew Milo’s grandfather and who agreed years earlier to fund such an expedition if ever something like this came to light. Soon, a ragtag team of colorful characters is assembled, and the search for Atlantis begins! Can they possibly find the lost city, or are their hopes more sunk than the city supposedly is?

Now, this movie has two big things going for it. The first is the fucking GORGEOUS animation. The characters themselves have really sweet designs and styles, very comic book-esque, which is no shock since Mike Mignola of Hellboy fame worked on the movie. Then there’s stuff like the crystals and the Leviathan, which are just breathtaking and incredible. This movie is a work of art, a true work of visual genius; there is very little to find in this film that is unpleasant to look at. Even characters the others may find unpleasant like Moliere and Cookie are still not bad to look at. In a lot of respects, this is one of the best-looking films Disney has ever made.

The other big thing going for it is the crazy cast of characters. Now, Milo, our protagonist, is not all too interesting himself; this is not to say he’s bad, far from it! No character voiced by Michael J. Fox can be bad or unlikable! The problem is he’s kind of a sweet, charming, and ultimately vanilla nerd character. The real fun comes with seeing him interact with the rest of the colorful cast. Highlights among the band of mercs are Mrs. Packard, an elderly woman who does nothing but constantly snark at everything with the most deadpan expression imaginable, Audrey, the feisty young mechanic, and Vinny, the stoic, trollish demolition expert. There’s plenty of other characters, and it’s a multinational, diverse cast, with people of all backgrounds, ages, and body types. What’s more, while there isn’t a huge amount of time devoted to it, we do get a pretty good scene where the characters discuss their motivations and a bit of their backgrounds, helping flesh them out a bit. Honestly, if this had continued to get the planned TV series and sequel, I think it could have ended up being one of the best adventure series ever. There really is a lot to love here in terms of the mercs.

Of course, those aren’t the only beloved characters; I would be absolutely remiss to not mention King Kashekim and his daughter, Kida. Both of them are memorable and worthwhile based on their voices alone; King Kashekim is voiced by none other than the late, great Leonard Nimoy (as Kingdom Hearts would show, this would not be the last time he played a dark skinned leader in a Disney-related  property… Master Xehanort is a bit less kind than Kashekim, to say the least), who as far as I have seen is a man who was incapable of turning in a bad performance, while Kida is voiced by the always-awesome voice actress extraordinaire that is Cree Summers. I gotta say, it’s really nice when an actual professional voice actor lands a major role in a big animated film rather than a celebrity who seems to be there solely for brand recognition (I’m looking at YOU, Shark Tale). And to round out the memorable Atlantean characters, we have the Leviathan. The Leviathan is a one-scene wonder, but it is one scene you will likely never forget. It is a monstrous, ancient artificial sea beast that resembles a lobster and fires lasers, and in its solitary scene SLAUGHTERS HUNDREDS OF EXPEDITION MEMBERS. There was a lot of people on the sub who didn’t make it out, and who were struck down in the escape. Remember, this is a Disney movie; there’s been death before, sure, but this is just an unprecedented death toll in their canon to this point.

There’s a few problems here and there, namely with the villains, though the problem isn’t exactly that they’re bad or anything. Rourke and Helga are both solid in their own right, and their action sequences in the finale are really good and lead to some great moments and visuals, but their motivations are… wonky. Clearly they’re motivated by greed, Rourke in particular, but… I feel like it would have been a bit more cost effective and make you richer in the long term to, you know, NOT go to the lengths he did. He just helped discover an ancient civilization that has welcomed him with open arms and that would make him insanely rich if he alerted the rest of the world, but… nah, plundering, killing, and kidnapping is the way to go! Helga’s just going along for the ride and is an enjoyable badass femme fatale, so I give her a bit more slack here, but Rourke just seems to be being a dick for being a dick’s sake. I guess he’s not really an awful or boring villain like, say, Ratcliffe in the original Pocahontas, but he’s really not up there with the greats. He comes off as Diet McLeach, which is a shame; if he had a bit more of McLeach’s hamminess he might have been a bit easier to fully embrace as a good villain.

Aside from that, you can probably pick apart some flaws in the story; it’s not exactly free of the cliches and tropes of adventure stories. But the fact remains that, for all its faults, Atlantis is still a hell of a lot of fun and just such a treat for the eyes. The characters are charming, the visuals are stunning, the story, while not perfect, hits all the right beats and there’s plenty of excitement… so to answer the question posed at the start, hell yeah does this movie deserve its cult following! This is a great movie. I’ve loved it since I was a kid, and I still love it today. Is it the greatest Disney film ever made? No, of course not, but it doesn’t need to be. It just needs to be the fun, exciting adventure full of awesome characters that it is. I definitely recommend this one, because it’s just such an oddity in Disney’s animated canon, and a really good oddity at that.

Now, normally this is where I’d wrap things up… But I think I want to touch on the ‘sequel,’ Milo’s Return here instead, namely because I fucking hate it so much I don’t think it deserves its own review. But WHY do I hate it? Remember how I briefly mentioned there was going to be a sequel and TV series based on the first movie? Well, the underperformance of it at the box office led to three episodes of the aborted TV series strung together into a narrative that doesn’t exist at all. Now, poorly-disguised pilot films don’t have to suck; The Return of Jafar, despite its crappy animation, is actually pretty solid as a setup for the Aladdin show and tells a good story centered around Iago. But the problem in this is that… there’s no connection. It’s three separate stories sloppily smashed together despite not having any overarching narrative. The gang reunites and investigates a kraken, coyote spirits, and some crazy asshole who thinks he’s a Norse god. None of it is good, none of it makes sense, and it’s honestly pretty sloppy and insulting and features one of the most egregious, obnoxious happy endings  ever seen. It’s pretty easy to just ignore this as non-canon. To think, we could have had an actual TV show that crossed over with Gargoyles…

Also, I gotta say, I hate how Disney ignores Kida in their princess line. Like come the fuck on. She’s an actual princess, a BLACK princess at that, predating Tiana by several years. Seriously, this movie is one of the most criminally ignored and shafted animated films I’ve ever seen… and considering how Disney has treated other movies like Strange Magic I’d say they never learned their lesson. The cult status of Atlantis just goes to show no matter how much you try and bury something, you just can’t keep a good movie down.