#moya rambles

[catinasink]

me when i ramble to my partners about isat an they don mind :3

[whumperofworlds]

Having a wonderful birthday! Coworker brought me to a Chinese buffet for my birthday lunch! Had a good time!

I got my fortune cookie and...

...This is basically what my premise of my memorial fic is trying to convey. I think Moya sent this to let me know that while what happened was sad... they're at peace now and to not feel guilty over what happened.

I won't let you down, Moya ❤️

[msmk11]

Best Friend’s Mom

MILF!Wanda Maximoff x college age!fem!reader (Billy and Tommy’s best friend)

Part one | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Word count: 5k

CW: Age gap (legal), best friends’ mom, MILF!Wanda, fluff, consumption of alcohol, mention of absent parent, light smut

Summary: You get invited to spend spring break with your best friends Tommy and Billy Maximoff and their mother, Wanda. But Wanda is not just any mom you soon discover. She’s a MILF. And god do you want her badly. Only in your wildest dreams could she ever be attracted to you too- or so you think.

A/n: It’s finally here per your votes on my poll! This is only part one of (probably) two however. A) I’ve never written for Wanda before so I’m having a harder time saying what I need to succinctly. B) I have the fattest crush on Wanda so perhaps this is just my rambles. I hope you enjoy!!

When your twin best friends Billy and Tommy had invited you on their beach family vacation over spring break, you had obviously said yes. The thoughts of sand between your toes, the warm sun on your skin, and the calming crash of the waves sent a shiver of excitement down your spine every time you thought of it. Of course, you were also just excited to spend time with your best friends, but the beach was at the forefront of your mind. Though your daydreams had already crafted a vision of perfection for this trip, the reality, surprisingly, far exceeded it. This was all thanks to one sinfully sexy Ms. Maximoff.

From the early budding of your friendship, you knew that Billy and Tommy adored their mother- especially since their father had left them all behind at a young age. Their descriptions made her seem sweet, loving, and remarkably kind. While your first introduction certainly reassured these claims, it was her beauty that struck you. Perhaps in your head you had imagined someone a little more….motherly looking… rather than the mortal goddess before you. With the way her auburn hair fell down past her shoulders in waves, her blue skinny jeans hugged the curve of her waist just right, and her soft, pink lips were always adorned with a smile, you were certain she was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

When you, Billy, and Tommy pull up to the beach house in their small gray sedan and a redheaded woman, who you assume to be their mother, comes out, you are dumbfounded to say the least. Before her boys can even get their luggage from the trunk, she sweeps each into a bearhug and exclaims, “hello moya lyubov!”

Their unconvincing protests fall on deaf ears as she continues to smother them in love. You’re sure to tease them about it later.

When Ms. Maximoff breaks away from Billy and Tommy, she turns her attention to you and smiles sweetly. As she makes her way towards you, your heart begins to beat quickly as you realize how beautiful she is.

“Hello, dear,” she greets, “Billy and Tommy have told me all about you.”

Before you can respond, she too pulls you in for a hug. The burn of her touch, even through your shirt, is almost too much to bear, and her flowery perfume that fills your nostrils makes your head feel all woozy.

As she pulls away you can feel your cheeks burning and you try to act calm despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Maximoff, and thank you for letting me stay with you all this week.”

“Oh honey, no. Please don’t call me Ms. Maximoff, it makes me feel old. Wanda is just fine. And the pleasure is all mine, really. I’ve been eager to meet you ever since you became friends with my boys at the start of college.”

“Well, I’ve uh- been eager to meet you too. Billy and Tommy speak very highly of you.”

Wanda nearly coos as she turns to her sons brightly, “Awe moya lyubov, you two are too sweet.”

Your best friends flush red with embarrassment and the glares they shoot you as their mother hugs them again let you know they’ll berate you later for making them “look uncool.” Finally, Wanda pulls away and she urges you all to grab your stuff and follow her into the house.

Once inside, Billy and Tommy kick off their shoes haphazardly and start down the hall to the bedroom they’re sharing (so you can have a room to yourself). You, conversely, slip your shoes off gently and leave them by the door neatly. Wanda waits by your side and then motions for you to follow her once you’re done.

On your way to your room, Wanda gives you a mini tour. You pass through the small kitchen with light wooden floors, white cabinets, and seafoam blue walls. The living room is similarly beachy and charming, with big glass doors opening onto a wooden porch in the back and a smattering of brightly colored furniture organized around the room. At the end of the hall from the living room sits three doors, each leading into a separate room.

“Here we go, honey. Your room is this door on the left, the bathroom is the door in front of us, and my bedroom is here on the right. I hope you don’t mind being my neighbor and sharing a bathroom with me, but I figured it’d be better for the boys to have the master this week since they’re sharing a space,” Wanda tells you.

“No of course not Ms. M- Wanda. I feel bad that Billy and Tommy have to share, though. I honestly don’t mind sleeping on the couch!”

Wanda reacts as though you’ve just slapped her, “Oh honey, no! I’d never make a guest sleep on the couch! I want to make this place as comfortable for you as possible. Plus, the boys will be just fine. They spent the first half of their lives sharing a room, they’ll manage.”

You chuckle a little and smile kindly at her, “Well, thank you, seriously, I appreciate it.”

She waves her hand as if it’s nothing and then motions for you to go see your room, “I’m going to go finish up dinner honey, but let me know if you need anything.”

Wanda saunters off down the hall and you curse her for even walking sexily. Shaking yourself out of a daze, you go inside your room and promptly shut the door behind you. You drop your bag on the floor and then throw yourself on top of the fluffy, blue comforter, groaning into the mattress. You really hope you can survive this trip.

*****

It seems you must’ve fallen asleep on the comfy bed that feels more like a cloud, because suddenly you are jostled awake by a body landing on top of you. You let out an oomph as the air is expelled from your lungs and the weight of Tommy’s body settles on top of you.

“Tommy, you big lug,” you groan, “get off of me.”

You push the boy off of you and he rolls onto his back, “Had to wake you up somehow, you freak. I kept prodding you and nothing happened besides your continued snoring.”

“I don’t snore!” You protest, propping yourself up on your elbow and looking at him.

“Do too” he teases, “mouth open and all.” He then opens his mouth dramatically and lets out an obnoxiously loud snore.

You smack his stomach a little and he groans. In retaliation, he sweeps your elbow out from under you, forcing you to fall flat on your back again.

“Prick,” you grumble.

“Hey you should be a lot nicer to me, you know. I could’ve left you here to sleep and starve.”

You sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes, “I doubt your mom would allow that.”

The brunette snorts, “Touché.” He stands up and nods his head towards the door, “let’s go eat.”

You and Tommy make your way down the hall to the kitchen, playfully teasing and shoving each other a little on the way. When the longer-haired brother gives you an especially playful push into the kitchen, you nearly fall right in front of Wanda. You’re a little more than embarrassed, so you try to hide your face from her by turning back towards Tommy and glaring. He’s smirking until he’s not- when Wanda gently chides him for “being rude to the guest.”

“Mom she’s our friend, she can take it,” Tommy reminds her.

“Plus,” you add, “I can take either of them, easily, any day. I was just caught off guard there.”

“Really now?” Billy challenges.

You hum in confirmation.

“Fine, then I suggest a game of chicken after dinner.”

“Who’d be our fourth player?” you ask, confused.

“I will,” Wanda answers with a slight smirk, “I love a good challenge. And I’d love to see you beat my boys.”

“Oh you’re so on, Mom,” Tommy answers with a grin.

The twins look at each other with evil, cocky smirks on their face, and you can tell that they’re confident they’re going to win. You look at Wanda nervously because a) you don’t want to lose to the twins and b) you don’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of her. Her confident smirk, however, so similar to her sons, eases your fears just a little.

They come storming back after dinner, however, when you first see Wanda in a bikini. Though you wouldn’t say it’s skimpy by any means, for goodness sake she’s around her sons, it still certainly shows a lot of skin. The butterflies are beating around aggressively in your stomach as you admire the red swimsuit she’s wearing- the color compliments her skin tone so very well, the top shows just enough cleavage to leave something to the imagination, and the bottoms hang low on her hips, flaunting her soft, white stomach.

You become even more nervous when you realize that you are going to have to sit on top of Wanda’s shoulders. While Billy and Tommy jump into the pool, you cautiously discard your towel on a chair and turn to Wanda, “I didn’t even think about the fact that I’d have to be on your shoulders. We can just call off the game, I’ll probably be too heavy for you.”

The redhead shakes her head and chuckles, stepping a little closer to you, “Honey, I know how chicken works. I wouldn’t have offered to play if I didn’t think I could carry you. I’m a lot stronger than I look, you know.”

You want to believe her, but you are just so nervous about hurting her that you can only weakly smile and nod.

“Hey, are we playing chicken, or are you two too chicken?” Billy calls out mockingly.

“Oh we’re more than ready, boys,” Wanda answers confidently, hands on her hips.

She walks forward and slides down into the pool, the turquoise water riding up to her waist. She beckons you over to the edge, “I’ll stand here and you can hop on, since I know you’re a little nervous about getting on my shoulders.”

You take a deep breath and nod. Wanda turns around and you step forward. Tentatively, you hook one leg over her right shoulder and her hand immediately comes up to grab your thigh. You tense at the skin to skin contact and it sends a little shiver up your spine. Thankfully, Wanda can’t see your face, so she hopefully just assumes that you're nervous about getting on her shoulders and not for….. other….. reasons.

“You’ve got it, honey,” She encourages you sweetly.

You quickly lift your other leg up and hook it around her left shoulder. She grabs your other thigh tightly and squeezes it, as if reassuring you.

Problem one million- Wanda being this strong is really hot, adding to your already insanely high level of attraction towards her. You fear you might pass out on the spot.

“Good to go?” The redhead asks you softly, craning her neck a little to look up at you. Her green eyes are soft but determined and they send a surge of confidence through you, “Yes, I’m ready to take them down.”

Wanda easily wades through the water over to Billy and Tommy, who have situated themselves with Tommy as the anchor and Billy on top. You look your opponent in the eye and smirk, sending him a playful glare, “You’re on, Maximoff.”

Billy only scoffs at you cockily and then waves you forward, challenging you to go up against him. Wanda and Tommy move in towards one another and you stick your arms out, bracing for Billy’s attack. He comes in swinging, bringing his right arm down to your side trying to shove you off. You are braced for it, though, and Wanda’s strong grip keeps you in place. You retaliate by grabbing his wrists, simultaneously trying to keep him from hitting you and also jostle him around. After a few seconds of back and forth, Billy rips his left arm free, the force causing you to wobble a little.

“I got you, honey,” Wanda calls up to you when she hears the sharp breath you take.

You shake it off and head towards Billy with double the amount of determination. Letting go of his other wrist, you go for the shoulders and give him a hard shove. This alone does not push Billy off of Tommy’s shoulders. However, the former twin’s movement throws the latter twin off balance, sending them plummeting backwards into the water. They land with a loud splash and you and Wanda cheer loudly. When the boys come up for air they are spluttering and groan at your victory.

“You two are stronger than you look,” Tommy concedes.

“Never underestimate your mother,” Wanda chides teasingly. She then looks up at you, “do you want me to take you back over to the edge to hop off?”

Your newfound victory, especially with Wanda on your team, has caused your confidence to soar. You shake your head, “No that’s okay, you can just drop me in the water.”

The redhead smiles sweetly, “If you insist.”

Before you have a second to think, she is lurching backwards, sending you both crashing into the water just as the twins had. The water is much colder than you anticipated and it overcomes your senses as you flail around. When you breach the surface you let out a gasp of air and shake the water from your eyes, “Holy fuck that’s cold!” you shout, then immediately cringe for cursing in front of Wanda.

Luckily she only chuckles, an evil glint in her eye, “You asked to be thrown in, honey. I was only doing what you asked.”

“A little warning would have been nice,” you answer with a playful pout.

She only laughs again, her head thrown back a little, and it’s quite the sight to see.

*****

The next morning, you wake to soft, yellow sunbeams falling across your face. The sound of gentle waves can be heard just slightly through your window at the back of the house and you sigh contentedly. You could get used to this. After laying sprawled across your bed for an undetermined amount of time, you finally decide it’s time to get up. You wander down the hall into the kitchen, on the hunt for food, and find Wanda sitting at the kitchen table, book in one hand, coffee in another, clad in a silk, white slip nightgown.

“Good morning, honey. Did you sleep well?” She asks sweetly.

“Like a baby.”

“I’m glad to hear it. What can I make you for breakfast?” Wanda asks, already rising from her chair.

“Oh, Wanda, no. Please. You don’t need to make anything. I can just snack on something for the pantry. I don’t usually have much for breakfast anyways.”

Wanda tsks at you and waves you off, “Well that just won’t do honey. It’s more important than ever for you to fuel your body at this age- what with all the studying, busy work schedules and… other things.”

Wanda winks at you then and you choke on your spit a little. Had she just implied…? No, she couldn’t have. But…

“Yes, well, school and work keep me busy enough to not have time for other things, Wanda. And I make up for a light breakfast with more filling meals later.”

It seems as though Wanda ignores the latter fact as she asks how you like your eggs and pulls out a frying pan.

“Well, honey, I really can’t believe what you’re saying. Someone as beautiful and sweet as you must be overwhelmed with social obligations- parties, friends, dating.”

You try to hide the blush on your cheeks from Wanda’s flattery, “No really, Wanda, I don’t have all that many. And I’m happy with my small group of friends.”

“You know,” Wanda starts, turning towards you as the eggs cook, resting her back against the counter, “I have to ask, and I hope you’ll excuse me for wondering, but I wanted to know if you were seeing or were interested in one of my boys. You just seem awfully close and I can’t help but wonder…”

You burst out in laughter at the heinous suggestion and Wanda’s eyebrows raise in bewilderment, “Oh god, no. Never in a million years would I date them.”

Wanda purses her lips and you realize how that sounded, “Please don’t take that the wrong way, Wanda. You’ve raised such lovely boys, you know. And I love them dearly, but not like that. They’re like my brothers. And even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t go for them. Or any guy for that matter… I like women.”

All the confusion and maybe even a little defensiveness drains from Wanda’s face at your confession and she visibly relaxes. She turns back to the eggs and picks up the pan, “I see. Well, the boys are grateful to have you in any way they can.” She walks over and sets the plate down in front of you, “And that makes me pretty grateful too.”

As she stays behind you, Wanda tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you shiver.

“Thank you, Wanda.”

“My pleasure, Detka.”

*****

The tension is so thick it is unbearable as you sit on a chair across from Wanda. At this point, you know it isn’t hot enough outside for you to be feeling this flushed. Rather, the way Wanda keeps looking over at you not so sneakily as she nurses her wine is leaving you all hot and bothered. When she takes another sip you are entranced by the way her soft, red lips wrap around the rim of the glass. And when she pulls the cup away, a drop of the wine is still on her lips. You nearly gasp as her tongue darts out, seemingly in slow motion, to lick it up. At this point, you know your staring is obvious, but Wanda just looks so pretty in that sundress, and one too many glasses of wine has left you feeling a little reckless.

“Want another sip?” Wanda muses teasingly, pointing the glass towards you.

“Oh no, I’m okay, Wanda, thank you.” You answer softly.

“Come on detka,” she says huskily, “just come have one more sip. I don’t think I can finish it alone.”

Really, you can never say no to this woman, so you oblige, standing from your chair and walking over to sit down next to her. Her perfume wafts over you as she leans in and hands you the glass, and you feel woozy.

You take a sip of what little wine is left in the glass and swallow as Wanda watches you the whole time. You turn to the redhead and hand her the glass. She sets it on the table without once breaking eye contact with you.

“Oh Detka, you have a little drop of wine on your lip. Let me get that right-“

She reaches out and cups your cheek. Instead of wiping it away with her thumb like you think she will, she leans in and captures your bottom lip between your own. She sucks on it softly and you nearly moan. Before you can really process what’s happening, she’s pulled away, a knowing smirk on her face, “There baby, all better now.”

“W-Wanda- I.” You stutter.

“Hmm?” She asks, sickeningly sweetly.

“Can you do that again?”

“Do what again, baby?”

You almost whine at her teasing, “Kiss me, Wanda. Please.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she whispers, already pressing her lips to yours again.

You sigh deeply as the flame rekindles in your belly and your heart beats faster. Your kisses are fast and sloppy, your tongues battling for dominance. Keeping your lips on hers you shuffle, straddling your legs on either side of her lap as you wrap your arms around her shoulders.

Wanda groans and grabs your hips tightly, digging her nails into the slight bit of bare skin showing as your shirt rides up.

She tastes like chocolate strawberries and wine and you chase her lips like you’ve been starved for days. Wanda just smells so good, and feels so good, and tastes so good that you’re insatiable. Unknowingly, you rock your hips a little, and a jolt of pleasure shoots through you at the friction between your legs. You moan into her mouth and try it again, this time rolling your hips more aggressively. Combined with Wanda’s kissing, it feels really good.

“Careful Detka, don’t start something you can’t finish,” Wanda warns lowly.

You pull away suddenly, gasping for air, “Wanda, I want this. I- I want you right now. I need you.”

She looks at you intently, those green eyes both soft and loving while also glazed with lust, “you sure, baby? There’s no going back after this.”

“Please,” you say, this time really whining.

“Start with my thigh,” she orders.

You lean back in and kiss Wanda again like before, but this time with the repeated motion of you humping her thigh, chasing your own pleasure. Wanda’s hands slowly travel down your sides, one stopping to grope at your breasts while the other makes it’s way to cup your ass. The added stimulation to your ass and tits makes you moan into her mouth again.

She pulls away and shushes you quietly, “gotta be quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want the neighbors to hear.”

You nod meekly and bite your lip to keep any more moans from slipping out. Wanda takes the chance to place her lips elsewhere, assaulting your neck and exposed collarbone with bites, licks, and sucking. Before you know it, you feel yourself getting closer to the edge, tension building in your belly. Maybe it’s the pace of your hips, or Wanda just has a sense for these things, but she can tell you’re close. Before you can get there, however,

“Wake up. Stop sleeping the day away.”

You are rather rudely awakened, you think, by Billy. His wet hair drips onto your face as he hovers over you, “Come swim with us and quit being boring.”

“But I’m getting my tan on,” you whine.

“You can do that in the water,” he retorts.

When you don’t make any sign of movement, Billy huffs, “You always have to make things difficult, don’t you?”

Before you can protest, the boy grabs your waist and pulls you up, flipping you over his shoulder.

“Billy,” you screech, “Put me down!!”

He ignores you and starts off towards the ocean. You smack his back and flail your legs but that doesn’t stop him. Before you know it you are met with a blast of ice cold water as he flings you into the salty ocean. When you burst to the surface spluttering you send Billy the biggest glare.

“You’re dead meat Maximoff.”

You quickly wade through the water towards Billy and lunge forward. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and bring him down into the water with you. You’re a mix of flailing limbs under the water. You get an elbow to Billy’s face and him a blow to your stomach before you both swim upwards and gasp for air. Tommy is there, laughing at you both, so you and Billy share a sneaky look before grabbing him by the ankles and pulling him down too.

Though you may have been peeved at Billy for throwing you into the water, it does feel rather nice on your hot skin. It also curbed your rather lusty thoughts of your best friends’ mother. The three of you stay out in the ocean for awhile, play fighting, throwing a football and diving for seashells. It makes you feel like a bit of a kid again, and you notice the recent stress of exams, school, and work fading away.

After a few hours at the beach, the three of you make your way back to the house. You drag your gear- sunscreen, towels, snorkels, and the likes to the back porch and collapse on some of the patio furniture. Tommy wanders inside for a moment and returns with a few beers for you all to share. As you sip and make light conversation, Wanda appears from the house, a tray of snacks in hand.

“How was the beach moya lyubov?” She asks, setting down the tray in front of you three.

“It was great, Mom. You should’ve joined us,” Tommy replies before stuffing a few carrots in his mouth.

She takes the fourth chair, which happens to be next to yours, “I wanted you all to have your fun. Plus, I’ve been to that beach plenty of times.”

“Next time though,” Billy tells her and Wanda smiles a little.

“Yes, next time.”

You reach forward to grab a cracker off the tray, and you’re not unaware of the way Wanda’s eyes follow you. You lean back again and munch happily on your cracker, trying to not be self conscious under the woman’s stare.

Suddenly, Wanda reaches out and pulls on the strap of your bikini top, “I like this swimsuit, honey. Where’d you get it? I’m looking to buy some new suits so I can throw out my old ones.”

Wanda’s deliberate touch excites you, and you keep your legs crossed to hide the way your thighs sort of squeeze together.

“Uh Target, I think. The boys got their trunks there too.”

She hums softly, “It’s so hard to find flattering suits nowadays don’t you think? Either they’re two thin pieces of fabric that cover nothing at all or they’re boxy, ugly one pieces that do no one any favors.”

You groan loudly, “tell me about it. I think Billy and Tommy almost left me behind when we went shopping because of how long I was taking. Not that I blame them, though I told them it’s also not my fault there are so few good options.”

“Mom, one swimsuit had fur,” Billy says with a shudder.

“Another looked like a disco ball,” Tommy adds, “like are you going to the beach or a strip club?”

You all burst out laughing at the sadly true comparison.

“All I can say is that I really was lucky to find this swimsuit.”

And as you lean forward to grab another cracker you swear you hear Wanda mutter under her breath, “Lucky for me too.”

*****

Much of the rest of your afternoon had been spent on that back patio talking, snacking and playing cards. Dinner had been light, and with a few booze in your body you were feeling pretty good. You’d wandered off to shower after dinner, wanting to get the sunscreen and sand off your body. The hot water and soap in your hair feels amazing, and you are appreciative of the privacy to process all of the thoughts and feelings from the day. You still haven't gotten over the comment you are sure Wanda had made earlier. A part of you wonders if you’d just made it up, your horny mind so desperate to believe that she finds you attractive too. But even though it was just above a whisper, the words echo in your mind loud and clear- “lucky for me too”. How could you make that up?

It feels wrong and, frankly, rather inappropriate to pursue your suspicions further. Wanda could’ve meant anything by what she said.

Maybe she was grateful that you bought that swimsuit, so now she knew where to buy hers too?

Maybe she was grateful she didn’t have to be subject to some ugly swimsuit you’d have been forced to wear.

Or maybe. No. You couldn’t even let yourself consider the possibility of Wanda being attracted to you. That would be a bad idea that would only get you in trouble.

You decide there is only one way to solve the problem.

After your shower, you slip out of the bathroom into your room only scantily clad in your small towel. You firmly shut the door behind you and drop your towel, making your way onto your soft bed. You lay on your back, head resting against the pillows, and spread your legs a little. You’ve been desperate to ease the ache between your legs for hours and you can’t wait any longer. You hope that maybe, if you do this, your horniness will dissolve and you can go about your business the rest of your trip happily.

As your hand trails lower between your legs, you sigh at the pressure very much needed to cure the intense ache. It feels good, really, but you only wish it was Wanda’s hand instead of your own. You shut your eyes and your breaths become heavier as you indulge for a moment, imagining that Wanda was here. You think about the way she’d say your name huskily, how her perfume would invade your nose as she held you close, how her fingers would know exactly how to make you feel good, and in no time, you’ve reached your high. Though you try to be quiet, you can’t help the semi-loud pleas of her name that leave your lips as pleasure wracks through your body.

You collapse back against your pillows, panting and your hands at your side. You can only revel in your bliss for a few moments before there is a knock on your door. You scramble up, your heart beating fast in your chest, feeling as if you’d been caught. You throw on your pajama t-shirt at the end of your bed, and it just barely covers your ass. But you figure it will work well enough to answer the door. You rush over and pull it open, and are shocked to find Wanda on the other side.

“Hey, Wanda, what’s up?” You ask breathlessly.

It’s then that you notice how her pupils are dilated, and that she has this look in her eyes. One so reminiscent of your dream.

“You know if you needed help, Detka, you could’ve just asked. I’m more than happy to help someone as pretty as you.”

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

To Warm You Up

Natasha Romanoff x GN!Reader

Summary: A snowy day means a good book, warm drinks, and cuddles

Word count: 704

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff

A/N: I wrote this last night while my sleep meds kicked in. I used the prompt, 'bring you a hot drink'

It was quiet. The snow fell outside, watching the flakes dance every so often as you looked up from your book. It had been snowing all morning, and so you felt it was the perfect day to stay curled up in bed. Finally, you got the chance to read through a book you'd recently purchased. Your Maine coon, Dumpling, curled up by your feet.

You smiled content in how your day was going so far. The only thing missing was your girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, she had gotten up early this morning and had occupied herself in her office with work since the snow kept her from going to the office. You hadn't heard from her all morning and now as early afternoon was about to turn to late afternoon you heard movement. You assumed Natasha had gotten up to grab herself something to eat. Making you remember you hadn't eaten yet. Your stomach growling at the realization. You didn't want to move though. You had become invested in your book and Dumpling had moved himself to your thighs, sprawling out across them.

Just as you finished up a chapter Natasha came through the threshold of your bedroom, tray in hand. Her red hair loose, falling over her shoulders in waves. A smile on her face when your eyes met as she got up on the bed with the tray. She'd made you a sandwich; turkey and cheese, a small pile of chips next to it and your favorite mug filled with hot chocolate. You could smell the peppermint and the two cinnamon sticks poking out gave away that she made it exactly how you like it.

“Oh moya lyubov. You didn't have to do this.” You set your book down on the side table before cupping her cheek. She leans into your touch. The two of you had been together for years. You knew everything about the other.

The Natasha you had met years ago who had defected from Russia who was so closely guarded. The Russian who was cold and calculated in every move she made. The Russian who when you first met was assigned to you and Clint. The Russian who put every wall up, used every sweet little lie with you and you who called her bluff everytime. She'd been put with you for one reason. You could tell when people lie. So really in the end she had no choice, but to tell the truth which terrified the red head.

“I wanted to. I hadn't heard you move since your trip to the bathroom this morning.” She raised an eyebrow at you, making you smile.

“Yeah I haven't. I got engrossed in my book. I'm already a little more than half way through!” Natasha could hear the excitement oozing from your voice. How could she not love you who only ever showed her love and kindness? You who would listen to her ramblings after nightmares. You who when she needed to be handcuffed to the bed to sleep offered your hand instead. You who offered a place when she had nothing and noone.

Some might think Natasha couldn't possibly settle down, but here she was with you as the snow fell outside. You picked up the mug, giving it a few blows before taking the first sip. The hot liquid falling down your throat and warming you instantly. You can't help the small ‘Mmmm’ that pushes up your throat, eyes closed. The mug warming your hands that you hadn't realized had gone cold as they tended to do, especially in the winter.

You talked with Natasha as you ate, catching up on her day and how work was going. She'd been writing reports and working on Intel the young Avengers had picked up on. You moved the empty tray aside, pulling Natasha against you. She always clung so tightly as if you'd disappear if she didn't hold you that way. She'd always been like this. You tried breaking the habit early on, but it never worked. Now it is something you look forward to, like a weighted blanket or stuffed animal. Natasha brought you comfort on such a level and in such a way you know no one else could compare.

[thenexusofsouls]

[ INSERT META/RAMBLE/HEADCANONS ABOUT ZHAAN 👽 ]

{i am the caretaker of souls} YES, THANK YOU, I SHALL!! Seriously, though, the more episodes I catch up on, the more random thoughts I've been having here and there about Zhaan, and I keep thinking... I should write a thing. But I've already written so many long things that I'm not sure people are even reading, and I feel like I've been thrusting my rekindled love of Farscape on everybody here and I wonder... am I being obnoxious with this? XD BUT YOU SENT AN ASK SO NOW I HAVE TO ANSWER IT, RIGHT? Rationalization is a beautiful thing, isn't it? XD So okay, here we go, random thoughts and headcanons about Zhaan, and some about Farscape in general!

THE ORIGIN OF THE FARSCAPE NAME, AND POTENTIAL FOR OTHER MUSES/SHIPS COMING INTO CONTACT WITH MOYA

So... "Farscape" is actually the name of the single-man "Farscape-1 module" or tiny little spacecraft John Crichton first sets out in from Earth. This one:

It occurs to me that this little craft was really not features that much on the show at all. I mean, it did have its moments, such as being taken out every once in a while whenever Crichton thought he'd found a wormhole to go home, landing on a commerce planet to get repaired, or taking it out to perform emergency maintenance or rescue functions for or from Moya. And I think it was used to test things from a power source point of view a couple of times, like they hooked it up to something to power it. *shrugs*

But yeah... other than that... the titular "Farscape" wasn't... really the star of the show. Should the show not have been called "Moya"? Personally, I think so, heh. The vast majority of episodes (I think nearly every single one, takes place either on, around, or in contact with Moya. But I guess "Moya" doesn't have the same appeal as "Farscape" for the name of a sci-fi show, does it? XD

Anyway, the reason I was thinking about the original ship that got Crichton aboard Moya is because it's still stored inside Moya. It was brought in through a hangar-like area in her... eh-hem... back end, haha... with the aid of something that kindof attracted and guided it like a magnet. And this was done deliberately by people on board, so theoretically, it could happen to other small ships as well. Keep that in mind if for any reason your muse might find themselves on a small ship in space, heh.

Seriously, though, I've been thinking about doing a starter for Zhaan's native "world," which I guess would have to involve your muse either docking within Moya or... suddenly appearing within Moya as a result of some crazy multiversal shenanigans. I can't write Crichton or D'argo, I just don't feel I could get them right, but I could write Pilot, Rygel, Aeryn, and obviously Zhaan. It could be an AU in which only those four ended up on Moya. That means they would never have met Crichton and would not know what a human was, if you muse happens to be human. They would think any human muse was a Sebacean, a Peacekeeper, the same race as Aeryn, and that would not be seen as a good thing, necessarily, heh. But it would still be interesting and fun, I think. The only thing stopping me is that I'm not sure if anyone would be interested in that? Something to think about for the future, I guess.

ZHAAN IS ACTUALLY A PLANT

It's easy to forget that because of her humanoid, upright, sentient self, able to walk and speak like any other "person." But yes, she is actually a plant. This means that she has the ability to... plant... herself, heh. As in, in actual soil. It was mentioned towards the end of her time on the show as a means to potentially restore her from her dying state, and I... I think about that sometimes. Nothing further was ever said about it and we never actually got to see her do this, since she died before she had the chance, but I just wonder what that would have entailed and whether it would have worked to save her or not.

Sunlight makes plants grow, right? Well for Zhaan, solar energy is a stimulant, which is exactly as it sounds, heh. It's arousing to her (sometimes at inconvenient times, which was hilarious... she referred to it as being "indisposed" XD) and it increases her metabolism. Depending on her state of mind and her health at the time, that can actually be a detriment to her. For example, if she's ill or starved, sunlight could cause her body to burn up valuable energy she needs to stay alive.

Her blue coloration is due to a mutation in her chloroplasts that all Delvians share, resulting not only in blue surface coloration but also in her having blue "blood." I've always thought that the yellow, orange, and red coloration that shows up when she is sick, starving, or in touch with her dark side was reminiscent of how some plants and insects in real life use such bright colors as warnings to "stay away, I'm dangerous to you," or "don't eat me, I taste bad or am poisonous." The colors are meant as protection if the organism is weak or in crisis, which would certainly apply to Zhaan at several points in the show when her coloration changes. For those unfamiliar with the show, this is Zhaan's normal, healthy, "zen" coloration:

...vs. her coloration shortly before her death when she was sick, weakened, and dying:

THE TRULY "ALIEN" FEEL OF FARSCAPE, AND HOW IT CONTRIBUTED TO THE DEPTH OF THE FOUND FAMILY ON MOYA

I really loved how much was included with each race in Farscape with regard to their aesthetics, their biological differences, their cultures, etc. As a writer, that's like brain candy for me, heh. I get bored of shows that try to sell me a bunch of humans in costumes as really diverse aliens, like... to me it's the same as when angels and demons are portrayed simply as humans with wings. These people are not human and some of them are a far cry from anything related to human biology and culture. So they shouldn't look, behave, or live like humans do. I think Farscape did a really great job within the limited scope of a TV show of reminding us rather constantly that Zhaan is not a blue human, she's an alien plant species. I loved that about her and all the races on the show.

Even the culture clashes, language barriers, and personal habit differences between the crew members of Moya reminded us that these are each people from their own unique races with whole lives they left behind before being imprisoned for their various crimes. Yes, John Crichton as a human coming in had a lot of misunderstandings, problems, and confusions, but so too did all the other crew members have that with each other. It wasn't just human vs. alien on the show, it was each character being different from every other. There was a constant sense of extremely diverse beings having been tossed together suddenly that really helped to create this feeling of a truly diverse alien galaxy. They felt different from humans, they felt truly alien, as they should have.

And I feel like that's why their found family became so tight knit. Not only them having to depend on each other at first and becoming friends over time, but also them learning about the health, happiness, needs, and pasts of each other and supporting each other with that knowledge. For example, the following instances of crew members putting what they've learned about their fellow comrades to good use:

Everyone pitching in to check on Zhaan when she was ill and working to get her the specific type of food she needed when she was starved

Crichton learning that one has to stimulate blood flow from a Luxan wound to make the blood run clear or else the initial black blood will poison him to death, and using that to save D'argo's life on more than one occasion

Everyone helping to sustain Aeryn when temperatures on Moya got too hot for her (Peacekeepers are extremely sensitive to heat and will die with even just a small increase above what's optimal for them); Zhaan actually held her in her arms under a cold shower to help stave off the "living death," an irreversible, catatonic, neurological condition that befalls Peacekeepers who remain in hot temperatures for too long

Everyone taking care of Pilot during various times when he'd go unconscious or be in extreme pain because of his link with Moya

Everyone coming together to do what they needed to for Moya when she was afraid, injured, and even pregnant, and them going out of their way (even at their own peril) to make sure her baby was safe

So yeah... It wasn't just friendship, familiarity, and time spent with each other that made them a family, it was learning how to properly take care of each other physically and mentally, whipping out that knowledge when each of them really needed it most, and then of course wanting to do so out of love for each other.

WHAT ZHAAN DOES WITH HER DOWNTIME

This is mostly just going to be canon things, with some fleshing out as needed, but I think it's interesting to look at what Zhaan does with her free time. Her downtime activities really speak to the sort of person she is and what her interests are.

Gardening

Being a plant herself, Zhaan has a bit of a green thumb. A... a blue thumb? XD She keeps plants in her room on Moya, in pots and planters and all sorts of places. I feel like she'd collect odd plants from planets she visits, being drawn to ones that are unique or very different from herself. She builds up an interesting and diverse collection that way.

Scientific Research

Zhaan is always curious about the natural world, and she knows a lot about biology and chemistry. Many times throughout the show, she analyzed various samples of tissue, spores, liquids, and other substances from potentially dangerous or pathogenic organisms. She has a scanner device that's a lot like an x-ray, she regularly makes use of a microscope, and she has a number of reagents she keeps on hand to perform chemical assays with. During the show, she was able to do things like make antidotes to poisons, solvents that would dissolve "glue" from a biological source, a litmus test to detect acidic conditions in bodily fluids, and various medicines to numb pain.

When she has nothing better to do, I feel like Zhaan would conduct research on her own simply for her own curiosity. Many times she was under immense pressure and time constraint to come up with antidotes and various other sensitive materials, but then after the fact, I feel like she'd continue to perform research to better understand the substance, organism, pathogen, etc. involved. She loves to learn, certainly, but she also likes to be prepared for whatever may rise to threaten the crew of Moya, and what she learned from her research got the crew out of many binds, including ones that could have been potentially fatal.

Arts & Crafts

Zhaan engages in "spirit painting," a Delvian technique that allows art to be created that reflects what is in a person's soul. She does this for Rygel after he makes an amateur attempt at painting a self-portrait. Zhaan comes to his room while he's doing this and they discuss his heritage as a Hynerian Dominar. Rygel XVI feels like he has the spirit of Rygel I within him and takes a lot of pride in that. With that knowledge, Zhaan takes the brush and begins to alter the painting. Quickly, she paints, in a manner Pietro Maximoff might do for all those MCU fans out there, heh. Her arm moves in a blur, and when she steps back, there is a lovely, regal painting of what is in Rygel's soul left on the canvas. That's what's going on in this post I reblogged a little bit ago.

In addition to painting, we know that Zhaan also likes to create things out of a type of glasslike material. She makes a blue mask that Crichton accidentally breaks several times in one episode as he gets stuck in time loops due to the influence of someone hostile aboard Moya. I feel like in addition to being blue herself, Zhaan just likes the color, so many of the crafts she makes also end up being blue.

Praying

In order to maintain her grounded and centered state of mind as a Pa'u, Zhaan prays regularly, usually in the form of meditation involving repetitive phrases. She does this in her own room, usually in the nude, where she can feel completely natural and comfortable.

However, she also prays for various crew members when they are sick or injured. She tells them this too, that they shouldn't fear or should remain optimistic because she has prayed to the Goddess on their behalf.

Caretaking

When Zhaan has nothing better to do, she can often be found visiting the crew of Moya or even Pilot and simply sitting with them to talk. She'll ask them what they're doing, how they're feeling, or if they need anything. It's her way of checking up on them to see if there might be anything they need to talk about or if there are any problems that they're not telling anyone about.

She does this not only because unchecked problems could be very dangerous depending on what the nature of them is, but also because... she cares. She goes out of her way to meet everyone on their level, to understand their perspective, and to develop a good rapport with them. For that reason, she is one of the few aboard Moya whom everyone gets along with and genuinely likes.

Zhaan does not shy away from difficult questions, uncomfortable situations, or sad memories. She's willing to become invested in the problems, griefs, and traumas of others to shoulder their burdens with them. Although she doesn't press others to talk or be vulnerable with her if they don't want to, most eventually end up doing it because she makes them feel comfortable, safe, and heard.

ONE FINAL RANDOM THOUGHT...

I'll leave you all with something that I keep thinking about from time to time while watching the show, especially seeing how close Aeryn Sun and John Crichton get after Zhaan's death. They end up having a child together, but not until The Peacekeeper Wars, a mini-series that takes place after the end of Season 4, essentially the end of the series. Zhaan died towards the beginning of Season 3, so she never got to see their relationship get to that point and never got to meet their son, who was named D'argo Sun-Crichton.

I just... I feel like Zhaan would have been utterly joyous to know that they had a child and would have adored the kid. I could see her acting like a cool grandmother, haha. And she would probably be happy to babysit anytime they needed her to. I think she'd be very good with him while he was an infant, too, just because of her patience and kindness. It just hurt my soul that Zhaan never got to see any of that happen or interact with the child of two of her dear found family members. T^T

[hypermoyashi]

hiiii moya!!!! Tell us about your favorite detail that youve snuck into any of your fics!! Any detail, big or small!!!

Oh man. Thank you for the ask, Tobi!!! You basically gave me a free ticket to talk about Anything I Want, and I have so many things I could chat about kegmrkemkg It's hard to pick out one detail or another because I tend to like a lot of what I write (it's catered to Me, after all), so I shall. Ramble under a read more, if that's okay lol.

OKAY SO. First thought was. How demons, specially Vash in the demon AU, work--because demon slayer canon has very strict rules on how thing works, but it doesn't often explain why things work the way they do. Which gives me a lot of room to be kind of hand-wavy with canon. (And I'm going to preface this that this is a lot of speculation for the AU and not necessarily reflective of canon in demon slayer rkengjrkengjrkeng.)

I also can't guarantee there won't be lore spoilers here (for both the fic/AU and the source), so read at your own risk!

But basically demonism was invented on accident in an attempt to cure a terminal illness, and it basically gives someone Immortality At A Cost. I think it functions sort of like a virus. Getting exposed to the blood of a demon will infect a human into become a demon, but "viral load" is important--the amount of "demon infection" determines if a demon can turn a human in the first place, and that depends on how diluted the demon's blood is from the original source. Too far, and they can't turn humans. Conversely, if a human gets Too Much demon blood at once and too much from the original source, their body changes too rapidly for it to handle, and they die instead of turning. Technically speaking, the same thing can happen to demons, too.

But all that to say, the main thing that demonism boils down to is rapid change of the body. Got cancer? Becoming a demon sure can cure that, just change faster than the cancer. Got a limb torn off? Let's just grow that right back. Need to develop supernatural powers or senses? Sure thing, buddy.

Demonism allows demons to change rapidly, but they also Need Humans to survive and have to avoid sunlight--obviously from a literary standpoint this is because they're meant to resemble western vampires, but from a functional standpoint? Sunlight I would guess is probably a glitch of rapid change? Like, when you implement coding too quickly, there are bound to be errors. If you force the body to change rapidly, like when it's converted from human to demon, then the weakness to sunlight might be an "error" in the biological code of the original demon that was then passed on to all subsequent demons, since they all came from the same source.

Feeding on humans, though? The implication I've always seen is that animal meat doesn't do it, and rotten flesh isn't as nutritional, either. So there's something about live humans that demons Need to consume to survive and grow their strength--demons can cannibalize one another, but I think they more or less just can steal traits from one another in those cases, and it's less about needing to eat then and more about assuming a trait another demon has developed through rapid change instead of taking the time to develop it oneself. We don't see demon animals, so I think it has something to do with the fact that only humans can become demons--demons can also only feed on humans, in return, so it might have something to do with the demon cells themselves running out of human cells to feed on in their host (i.e., the demon) and needing more to produce that rapid change we see them do.

Alright, but what happens when you deprive a demon of human flesh and blood? Obviously, it doesn't kill them (as we see with Nezuko in demon slayer canon). So it won't kill Vash now that he's decided not to have Anything, but then, how does he avoid the whole "going feral and attacking people anyway" thing?

Well, there is a procedure in demon slayer canon that reduces a demon's dependence on blood--this is not explained at all in canon, but I explained it by the use of introducing "antibodies" or a demon vaccination. These are demon cells that don't act fully like demon cells anymore--they were once demon cells that have changed to the point that, if introduced into a demon, it mitigates some of the impact of regular demon cells and thus lessen the symptoms of demonism (a.k.a., needing to eat people).

How did these cells come about? Well, through that rapid change of course--you'd just need a demon willing to change their cells and body in such a way as to mitigate some of the effects of the demon cells, and in this case. This is difficult in this case, I think, because to get cells that need less flesh/blood, these would need to be cells that haven't been given their "fuel" for rapid change and been forced to adapt without it. Basically, you'd need a demon willing to abstain from eating for a long time, if you see where I'm going with this.

In Nezuko's case, since she Never Ate Anyone Ever, I think her change under this theory would be forced from the fact that she never let her cells have anything to begin with. The change happened over a few years, because she Had To and she dedicated pretty much all of her energy to it. No speaking, no hard cognitive tasks, only occasional fighting and Blood Demon Art usage--she mostly just slept and only intervened in events when her brother was in danger, for the most part.

For Vash? The change would be a lot slower and a lot harder, because he has eaten at least one person, on top of having been fed blood/flesh (willingly or unwillingly) throughout his life. He also prioritizes keeping his mind sound and with it, and maintains his ability to speak and interact normally (most of the time). He also expends energy fighting, healing, and through his Blood Demon Art. So he's diversifying a bit more, and had less of a jump off point, so it'd take him much longer to get the same results. That being said, it's still definitely possible for him to get what he wants--a body not as reliant on blood or flesh (though he is still technically denying his body something it needs, it just needs less over time as his body starts working with him).

And hey, if demons can change to need less blood... Well, who's to say they can't change in other ways, too?

(demon slayer readers don't spoil it lol)

ANYWAY. Demon lore surrounding Vash in Make it to Daybreak is. Very fun to talk about. Everything above is all stuff that's been vaguely hinted at but not laid out plainly like this, but I think it'll give the non-demon slayer readers more of an edge guessing upcoming developments that demon slayer readers will already have lol. Plus it's just fun to fill in the holes on demon slayer lore with stuff that sounds neat to me.

But!!! Thank you so much for sending the ask, Tobi!!! It really made my day!!

[instantartific]

I have Ideas for OC content that I simply do not have the skill to execute and it drives me nuts.

Because Moya's life is... sad compared to Neon's.

Very similar positions, they both have people in their lives they care about that they made and created, but. I like to think Neon made his as a means of caring for him or to execute tasks, and grew attached over time.

Moya made his because he was already attached to the concept of having someone with him itself.

Neon is always surrounded by people and has things to do and now tries to live as full a life as he can.

Moya has Ano. His entire life revolves around Ano. Half the reason why Ano's so light and fragile despite being what he is and being in the industry he is is because Moya wanted him to be light enough to be held (despite the fact that that decision now causes Ano so much "pain," in the most vague concept.) And he just tries to keep himself sane in that dark, empty apartment of his. He doesn't have friends. Doesn't communicate with the other Charters, spare Tatiana as needed.

Moya made 'his person' to fill a hole in his life that was already there.

And without the B2J battle or him accidentally being exposed by fans, he's just... alone. Isolated, albeit willfully. His entire life revolves around Ano and work and the shadows and the darkness and that's it.

If you asked him what a single hobby of his is, he'd respond something to do with Ano. If you asked for something apart from that, he'd have nothing.

All he is now is the shadow of his own creation and without that he's nothing.

And I'd love to make a comic exploring this but I simply Don't Know How so all I can do is ramble about it.

Maybe after artfight I'll draw this scene I have in my head with Moya repairing Ano and talking to an empty shell in the dark but for now. Drives me nuts.

[unrooms]

More specific questions than Moya's comment:

What was your inspiration for this story?

Tell us more about the walls, the ceiling, and everything within them.

Wellll... What was my inspiration? That's kinda hard to pin down. For one thing, though, the interactive webcomics Blood is Mine and My Delirium Alcazar are big favorites of mine and definitely influenced me a fair amount! I recommend both of them- BiM is finished and MDA is unfortunately on hiatus but you should still get invested in it lol

I really started this- not on a whim, but with very little prep time. As you know, it was meant to (well, and did) span exactly one month, and I decided I was going to do it, I believe, two days before the month started? So I didn't have a very detailed idea of what the story was going to be or anything going in. A lot of it I improvised on the fly. I think most of the puzzles I invented while writing the update for the hour they were first observed lol. Not sure exactly where I was going with this but whatever

As for the walls, the floors, the ceilings, and everything within them, I think I've been fascinated for a long time by the idea of like... well it's hard to sum up? (btw dorfird, I know you know this about me, but I'm answering for everyone)

I guess there's just something about like... a space that is a puzzle, like an escape room maybe, and there's dire consequences if you can't figure it out? I don't know, it's hard to put into words, and that's maybe only one genre of this idea I've got in my head. But I think of things like Danganronpa, Portal, the Hunger Games even. So one of the things I knew from the start was that I was gonna explore that whole concept. The thing I like about the walls, the floors, the ceilings, and everything within them is that it is not only a building but an entity itself, and it has control over its whole structure... I could have played around more with it changing, like a shifting maze, but I guess I didn't really think of that.

A thing which I didn't ever state explicitly is that the walls, the floors, the ceilings, and everything within them has a kind of connection to Tyler's universe. It's seen glimpses of that universe, and modelled itself around what it saw. Thus why it has architecture that's recognizable, and how the flesh can speak english and the walls etc can write it.

I don't think the walls, the floors, the ceilings, and everything within them is really malicious, rather it just doesn't really have a sense of empathy. It's a person because it has the element of flesh in it, but it's more stone than flesh and it understands stone more than it does flesh. However, I did have it in mind that an alternate solution to the story could be to convince it to let you go.

There's more I could say, but I already wrote a lot and I'm kind of sick and tired today, so I'll leave it at that for this post. (that doesn't mean I won't say anything else today, necessarily, just not right now)

I hope you find this interesting and not too rambly lol :)

[arepii]

my head is all puffy and I´m tired. I´m severely depressed and I´m tired. I´m honestly surprised of myself for getting this far after a year of self isolation and crippling depression. 

It´s a heavy month for me already and as things come back into my awareness its...amazing, the amount of stuff that´s been held off at the shore of my consciousness. 

More less ten years ago, in April, I woke up, it was children´s day, we got ready for the party at our elementary and then we went to my mom´s clinic. As usual, it was a friday, so we went to our granny´s house to stay the weekend. We didn´t worry about our clothes because our mother had done them for us, my sis and I when we went back to eat. She cried and we didn´t understand why, but we hugged her and told her we loved her. 

The weekend passed and it was already time to go to school and so, my mother drove two hours to get us to school and two hours back at night to go back to my granny´s. I was a dumb kid, I didn´t know that friday would be the last day we spent at home. Or that it would be the last I would see my dad in a long, long time. 

It really took me a lot of time to understand the consequences of leaving my home that abruptly, without explanation and none of my things. How it did affect me despite my sister assimilating it with “don´t cry. tough it out” and like, of course, im good at masking. but im also so good at ignoring body reactions. And the one I had was, bluntly put, pathetic. 

But it was really the only way I could actually let it out without being shamed or shunned or whatever, by the people around me. Because you gotta understand divorces are not something that you can control or can do something about. It was for the better of everyone, after all. 

I don´t wanna hate myself for that reaction anymore. I was a kid who was left alone to fend for themself after a shocking event. It wasn´t my fault my body reacted when my head couldn´t make me say something. 

It wasn´t the best, but it was the best 10 year old me could do. 

I would have loved there wasn´t any alienization from both parts, and constant discussions about money, but that´s what pulled them apart and that´s also not my fault. I was a kid. They were the adults. And none of us knew how to handle this situation without angering at each other. 

Idk if I can forgive them yet, I can understand them, but right now, I don´t care about their process at all. I care about my own. And I´m angry and I´m sad and disappointed, but also want to forgive myself for reacting the way I did back then. 

Now that I´m older, I still depend on them, but less. I don´t have to seek them out to be valuable, I help when I want and can. I can´t rely on them as much as they rely on me, but even if sometimes I fall out with my health, and still get yelled at for that, I will try to stop blaming myself for not meeting up with their expectations. They never met mine anyways.

[albino-whumpee]

Sometimes I think about how uninteresting as a person I am and then I remember this friend I had that told me “You´ve so many interesting things to tell us about yourself. I wanna hear them” and yk? that kinda makes me feel like I´m not just a speck of dust passing by.

[veshialles]

i love you fictional vehicles that become a main character in the story by extension, i love you ships with iconic names that turn into a home for the characters, i love you humanized modes of transportation with imagined personality quirks, i love you sapient starships with real personality quirks, i love you inherent human ability to emotionally bond with literally anything

[hypermoyashi]

I love how quickly Rimuru gets attached to people. He's such a good, I stan

[instantartific]

|| ও LOVESICK: 50 Followers Writing Event!

Finally posting the event!! 50 followers technically isn't that much but this blog really only started as a means for me to ramble about my fixations and whatnot, so it's nice that y'all hung around!

The idea of the event is that y'all can send in a character and a prompt from the yandere-themed lists I've got, and I'll write something short n sweet for it! Maybe a couple hundred words, maybe more if I really like the idea. I haven't written something in a while so this feels like a great opportunity for me to get out of writer's block and y'all to have fun!

✧

|| ও RULES AND NOTICES:

Because this is a yandere themed event, there will be strong themes of worship, obsession, possessiveness, manipulation, threats of harm to others, possible threats of harm to oneself, possible themes of kidnapping, all that fun stuff. Each post made will have very explicit content warnings tailored to each one of them.

Because I am not guaranteed to write your prompt, you're free to send in as many as you like! I'll do whatever ones give me the best ideas and ignore the rest.

Because I don't have a strong enough characterization for most other characters yet, I'll be sticking to the characters in the MASTERLIST AND PROMPTS section for the most part! Unless you've given me a really good idea, it'll mostly be the guys I'm comfortable with. There's no harm in trying but I am incredibly biased.

I WILL NOT write explicit sexual themes. I don't mind allusions to them but I don't do smut. A vague thing about how someone'd treat you I can tolerate but writing it out won't happen.

Character x Reader and Character x Character, Canon or OC are both allowed! If you ask for an OC, keep it to mine, preferably. I don't know how I feel about writing other people's characters yet.

I'm a multi shipper at heart and don't mind writing pairings I don't care for! The only thing I'm not too fine with are inherently romantic things regarding Neon or Nova with anyone else listed. While, like... I do consider everyone not including those two to be in their twenties, just don't know how I feel about "old enough to be your daddy" pairings, y'know?

1010 to 1010, 1010 to OCs, OCs'n OCs, of course anybody to readers, all that jazz is fine.

All that being said, here's the MASTERLIST!

✧

|| ও MASTERLIST AND PROMPTS:

♡ A-Z Yandere Prompts w/ Dialogue Starters,

♡ lovesick/obsession writing prompts🌹💌

♡ Obsession Prompts

✧

|| ও CHARACTER LIST:

♡ Neon J

|ও NEON J: "Beautiful baby! So lovely, so breathtaking! Captivating! Alluring!"

♡ DJSS

|ও DJ SUBATOMIC SUPERNOVA: "Shouldn't you be spending more time with me?"

♡ 1010 -

- ♡ Rin

N/A

- ♡ Purl-hew

N/A

- ♡ Zimelu

N/A

- ♡ Haym

N/A

- ♡ Eloni

|ও ELONI: "Please don't leave me... I won't last long without you..."

♡ OCs -

- ♡ Anodyne Acetate

N/A

- ♡ Moya

N/A

- ♡ Tūl

N/A

- ♡ Styoca

N/A

[butterfly-winx]

How are the desgin challenges going?

Thank you for asking. I have paper skin and glass bones. Every day I wake up and I have to break my bones and I lay in bed awake until-

No just joking. my current real life workload is very high, both mentally and physically, so I need to rest my arm a lot when not working on Deadline Things TM. This sadly leaves me with not enough time to do the research and planning I want to put in - a challenge is a challenge bc I want to push myself in my skills- so it has been coming slowly.

I have ideas for maybe five fills and I have been doodling when I can, but to keep up and actually post sometimes, I think I will need to drastically reduce the amount of detail work/finish goes into the drawings (mostly in particular the side character drawings)

SC drawings are particularly slowly coming bc for the majority of the main cast, I already have a model I drew on hand. The side witches all have to be drawn from scratch and I just don’t have time or interest to do that to the level I did for the main cast. Which I think is quite understandable, as I will unlikely ever use them again.

So it is all... tricking along

[arepii]

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