#moving boston moving

[fazedlight]

Rooting for the Dodgers this World Series.

Not because I want them to win, but because I need the Yankees to lose.

[omegaversereloaded]

Back in boston headed to work after a splendid week in the sacred city of philadelphia

[jerswayman]

"what!? you got a warning? for jumping and things?" "for coming in too hot"

[iscreamkitty]

Leo then continued to fall for the puppy dog eyes for the next 82 years <3

[prideprejudce]

POV you just turned down a possible meeting with the editor of new york magazine in what could have been a career changing night to race home to say birthday to your boyfriend just to see him sitting on the couch pouting like a four year old before not even saying two complete sentences to you and sulking off to bed

[katabay]

A SPY FOR A SPY

an informal AmRev sketch dump type of thing circling around some thoughts: Benjamin Tallmadge and the corpse of Nathan Hale (they never did recover Hale's corpse, so this is like. you know. symbolism. it's why Tallmadge isn't looking directly at the body, but oh something in you has changed. loss defines the outline, the shape. that body is going to be inside you forever), bad dreams with John Andre and something that looks like Nathan Hale, and the finally Tallmadge and Andre. they turned your friend into a martyr, Tallmadge, but before that, he was your friend, and that makes this personal.

there's a. triangle. happening between these three. a kind of ritual substitution. the absence of Hale's body demands a body in it's place, John Andre's fate was sealed the minute Nathan Hale died.

also, in the first one, Hale's feet are bound because that's my favorite awful detail from both the MacMonnies statue and the Pratt statue.

(MacMonnies)

(Pratt)

on the topic of Hale statues, what really fucks me up is that the MacMonnies rendition of Nathan Hale is. it's a hot statue. the posing suggests something almost provocative (in combination with the open collar of the shirt), but only because his arms have been tied behind him in a way that forces the position, so it turns vulnerable and voyeuristic. horrifying and delightful. I'm obsessed with it.

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara ⭐ ko-fi

[angelofalls]

Angelo's signature move

[petrovna-zamo]

So sweet to see Katya with Avi’s daughter 🥹

[notaclothingstore]

one minute miku drawing except she is from boston

[moseiders]

JAYLEN BROWN & JAYSON TATUM

NBA Finals Trophy Presentation

[ratatatastic]

can you tell we're excited about a possible winter classic at loan depot...

[danielsarmand]

[jt1674]

[mueritos]

a big brain dump about autism, life, being indigenous, and whatever else is going on

so the past few months I made it a personal journey to understand my autism more (and maybe a possible ptsd diagnosis but whatever whatever whatever). and that's what i'm calling it--the autism--because no other thing makes sense for me, and while i'm parsing through childhood memories and experiences, it's definitely...a bittersweet conclusion? bitter because in a lot of ways, i dont relate to the stereotypical autistic experience because every autistic person who has clocked me was usually a White Queer. It's probably why it's taken so long to get to this point of concluding Autism is what it is. I grew up in an immigrant family as a girl, and for that reason I was expected to not be disabled and to be a completely normal and high achieving Mexican catholic girl who went to college and became a doctor or whatever. Now i'm a fag of a man doing none of those things haha.

My older brother was supposed to be assessed for ASD in his youth, and like most immigrant dads, mine decided that nothing was wrong with him and the rest is history. Except my older brother is a man riddled with childhood trauma, shame, and so much autism. Absolutely uncharted rates of autism, and while he gets some sort of pity from my parents for him ("it's all out fault" "he never got the help he needed" "cut him some slack he doesnt understand"), I can never let my own parents know about how much I struggle. Hell, I can barely show it to my own friends because even they don't understand the extent of my autistic struggles. it's actually caused continuous miscommunications, people mad at me, me mad at myself, meltdowns, shutdowns, and a lot of crying. And shame. (a peer recently even demeaned my habit of keeping to myself, despite the fact that I had actually been trying to put myself out there more)

so i'm at a point in my life where I've accepted that I can only take responsibility over how I communicate, and I take ownership over that. Accepting this responsibility allows me to keep myself safe, as I've essentially lived over 2 decades of my life feeling like I was responsible for not just my communication, but everyone else's, including all of the judgements, missed cues, failures, miscommunications, and whatever else came from it. It's definitely double empathy. Last time I truly took on everyone's communication, it nearly killed me (cue over a year of suicidality). But, in a lot of ways it's very freeing. I'm sort of detaching myself from this neurotypical/White need to socially interact with others on their terms. In other ways, it's restricting. I uh. Don't really talk to a lot of people nowadays, and there used to be days where I wouldn't say a single word out loud. But because I don't talk to as many people, I'm able to put energy into the quality of my connections and not just the quantity. Which unfortunately a lot of people take personally. They dont like you admitting that you only see them as an acquittance, or as a classmate, or something like a friend but not quite there. I find comfort knowing how people feel about me, even if its that they actually dont feel close to me. Great! Now I know! Knowing makes me feel safe! But I'm finding that people actually really fucking hate when you admit that to them, the how you actually slot them in ur brain in terms of social levels. I can understand why, but I also don't get it.

Another thing that's helped is I've changed how I do eye contact. I used to make eye contact with professors or classmates while I spoke up in class because I thought that was important. Now I've found I can actually focus more on what I'm trying to say when I don't make eye contact. My god how freeing that has been. I don't have the same anxiety as I used to before, nor do I experience all of the involuntary blushing as I did for many years of my life. It didn't matter how confident or how prepared I felt, I would just blush furiously and I fucking hate it. Now my blushing is almost nonexistent, and I say what I mean with the flat ass tone that I love speaking in because it makes me feel safe. Sure, I miss the real-time non-verbal reactions to my words in class, but it's an okay trade-off for feeling more safe in myself and more confident in the classroom.

another thing is my internship. I work with majority neurodivergent students, and many of my clients have autism, adhd, or both, and are sometimes BIPOC, trans, or children of immigrants. Man, I've been having a blast. Sure, I'm learning how to be a therapist and best practices, but screw everyone in my life who has called me "cold" "emotionless" or "heartless". I have connected with so many people on such a human level, and I have sat there and helped them hold their pain in that tiny gay office for 45 minutes every week, and even though it's only 45 minutes, i'm showing them that they're allowed to ask for help holding that pain. I have had challenging sessions, difficult conversations, and times where I wasn't sure I would know what to say. But at it's core, I know that I'm capable of connecting with the person in front of me because my autism brain is automatically in tune with the person in front of me. It is so wonderful, and overwhelming, and so confusing all at once. When people start crying in front of me, I feel tears well up in my eyes, even if I'm not actually sad with them. It shows me that I'm capable of this empathy that so many people over my life have questioned, which they questioned all because I processed things slowly, or made quick decisions, or because I was honest about how I felt.

on to being mixed indigenous. Phew. I've been trying to build more connections with other Native folk, and I have a couple who I can thankfully call friends and who have never disrespected my detribalized experience. but recently I was interviewed a few times for a fellow indigenous researcher's dissertation, and I did not expect to be chosen on account that I am detribalized. But it had been a lovely experience and I finished my final interview today. It really left me with a lot of emotions that are hard to put into words. Mourning would be one of them, as I likely won't ever know what my tribal affiliation is. Never knowing who my people were, what language they spoke, the land they lived on...I can't describe just how much it destroys me. It feels like literal death, because that's what it is. A disgusting colonial death. And it's why I abhor that of all my identities, being autistic and being mixed indigenous has been met with the most vitriol online. like i guess people can only handle the trans fag mexican dude when hes not autistic and mixed indigenous, because now I am far too ambigious for anyone else's good. though i do know better than to listen to what random people online have to say about me and my path toward reconnection/neurodivergency.

beside's that, i'm trying to find neurodivergent spaces that feel safe, and I'm trying to find ways to keep myself safe. stimming, carrying stuffed animals around, using fidget toys, engaging in my interests, listening to the same songs, eating the same foods. I've had coffee with bagel and chive+onion cream cheese for over a year now. I've listening to almost only Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains for nearly a year now. I rewatch the same youtube videos over and over again. I wear the same few outfits. I wear the same shoes everyday. I walk the same way to and from campus everyday. I try to be in nature as much as I can, and really see it. I imagine nature where it isn't, and I get emotional thinking about the life that used to be on it. I wish so badly that I was a cat, a horse, a bunny, a deer, all so I could experience life through their eyes. i'm putting trust into people, into the universe, and into myself. safety is hard to come by, but im doing my best to accept the risks of life, trying to be flexible, and learn how to sustain myself for the good of the world. I deserve to be here too.

that's about it. besides that, i'm moving to philly once i'm done with grad school ^-^

[fictional-twink-bracket]

Some of the alt text is more detailed than usual, that's because it was written by Ling (@nofuckingideawhatsgoingon), so thank you to her for helping me out with that.

Propaganda

(PT: Propaganda)

Yue

No propaganda submitted

Yuri Plisetsky

No propaganda submitted

JD

I think being in a gay relationship would fix him

Jhin

I'm surprised that people call Ezreal a twink but not Jhin, because, well, listen to Jhin

He's dating another twink

“Oh, and before you ask- yes, your whole ensemble makes you look fat. Very, very fat.” Probably really sexy under the mask - Look at him

Yosuke Hanamura

No propaganda submitted

Boston

Boston is an asshole but he's a fun asshole who deserved better. yeah he sleeps around a lot but also well a lot of guys want to sleep with him. I love him he's the worst <3

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends | All Character End Credits

I really loved this concept for the end credits. To leave the camera rolling on a seemingly mundane but candid moment with each of our characters. It very much reminded me of 'Call Me By Your Name's one shot credit scene with Timothée Chalamet face on to camera.

Mew looks contemplative.

Nick looks conflicted.

Ray looks determined.

Top looks troubled.

Sand looks weary.

Boston looks perplexed.