#moved a game or two around (it's mostly la I HATE how they changed where it is in the official line)

[skyward-floored]

I hate youtube and I'd never become a youtuber but I bet I could be one of those people who do hours long video essays on the zelda timeline

[russian-romanova]

the one that got away

title: the one that got away

pairing: joe goldberg

warnings: adult language, spoilers for season two of ‘you’, very brief mentions of violence 

notes:  joe’s pov. i haven’t gotten anything out there in a while, so here’s this. 

summary: it’s been years since you ran out on your high school boyfriend joe goldberg. now that he’s seen you again, maybe it’s time to find out if your instincts were right. 

+      +      +

There was a part of me that had forgotten about you. I would go months without thinking about you, but then the strangest things would conjure up an image of you or your name would ring in my ears for a moment or two before passing out again. So don’t make the mistake of thinking I forgot about you, Y/N. I never forgot. Not really. 

We dated in high school, which doesn’t mean much at face value. High School relationships are the ones that are the most fragile when boys can’t control their own body parts and girls don’t seem to know the word ‘boundary’. The teen couples that come into Mooney’s are the worst relationships, where they hold hands and kiss every time they turn a corner. It takes all I have not to turn them away.

But we were… different. We were good, and we took it slow. I was quiet and you were sweet, and God, I don’t think I could ever recreate that high I would get when I walked into school and would see you waiting at my locker, reading some book I had given you or eating some breakfast dessert. We didn’t rush anything, we were slow and steady friends more than anything, at least before we kissed. And when we did kiss, it wasn’t bumbling or awkward like teenage kisses should be. It was perfect, Y/N. Like it was meant to be.  

You know why I’m bringing this up. I saw you at some supermarket the other day, in LA. It wasn’t Anavrin or any of those frighteningly strict healthy eating markets. It was just some supermarket I went to in search of some food I had been thinking about, and I saw you in the cereal aisle. You didn’t see me, Y/N, although I wasn’t sure if you would have even recognized me. You had a box of ‘Cinnamon Toast Crunch’ in one hand and a box of whatever the generic brand was in the other. I watched you for a moment, turn the first box over, then the second, before sighing and adding the generic one to your cart. I turned my body so you couldn’t see my face as I waited, only turning once I was sure you had left the aisle the opposite way of me. 

Trust me, Y/N, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to double-take to even think it was you, and then I ended up staring at you for a full five seconds before I remembered where I even was. A supermarket. In LA. 

Really, the strangest part was that I had been in LA for around a month and hadn’t somehow caught wind of you. Sure, LA’s a big city, perfect for disappearing -- I should know -- but I have a sixth sense for these sorts of things. It helps that I’ve been trying to stay away from you, really, I stopped searching your name on the internet long ago and I’ve been trying to push you out of my mind. 

Still --  I see in you in all of their eyes. Candace. Beck. Love. 

Then you pushed your cart away from me and left behind the corner. I trailed behind you for a while, because how are you supposed to see your high school sweetheart and just forget about it? You picked out black beans and condiments, grabbed crackers and milk. Then you were gone. 

But I knew you were in LA, and that got me through a while. I was distracted at work, distracted with Love. Even Ellie knew something was off, and of course, I couldn’t tell any of them about you, Y/N. I made up some lie about work or the news, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wondered if you shopped every Tuesday afternoon if I would have a chance of seeing you again if I waited there next week. If you saw me first, would you interact? Would you know what I was doing and confront me or would you leave and hope that I didn’t see you? Would you see me at all?

No, I knew that I had to find you before then, preferably someplace where I wouldn’t look like some random creep approaching a pretty girl. I had to do my research. 

I didn’t know whether to be impressed or disappointed when I discovered both an Instagram and a Facebook account that were both private. You were aware of security, at least a little. You had a public twitter account, but nothing you posted on there really pertained to you on a personal level, mostly retweets about characters or politics. 

Roughly three weeks ago, you had retweeted some comedic tweet about the benefits of being single. This was a good sign, Y/N. My expectations were set low, but the more I learned about you, the higher they became. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about our high school years, and how happy we both were. We could be like that again. 

I was about to give up on the social media scour when I saw an Instagram account linked to your twitter account, completely different from the one I had already stumbled upon. This one was a much vaguer account, with some photos you must have taken, mostly of other people or of aesthetically pleasing nature views or buildings. The photographs that caught my eye the most -- and I’m sure you understand why, Y/N -- were the ones of Farmington Park and the one of a house front. The house numbers were blurred out, but it wasn’t that hard to trace around on Google Earth. I extended the view and followed the roads surrounding Farmington Park, making the assumption that you were near to it judging by the amount of photots you had posted of it, until I found the house that seemed the most familiar, the one that matched up perectly with the photograph. Bingo.

You should be more careful, Y/N. 

✾ ✾ ✾

And so I wait. I see you again, but no longer by accident. I don my jacket and cap, and I wait at the bench near your house -- just a man reading a book, nothing anyone will pay too much attention to. I see you leave your house, which I’m relieved to see you walk out of. I’ve been wrong in the past, and it’s the worst possible feeling I could imagine. But you looked right at me, Y/N. The second day, you walked out of your bright red door and made direct eye contact with me. I have sunglasses on, so I don’t know if you can tell I’m looking back, but you stare at me for a few seconds, and then you move on. I worried you had maybe seen me, but the next day I returned and you didn’t think much of it. 

Tuesdays and Thursdays is when you went to the park. As the sunsets, to get those stereotypical sunset photos, I presume, and you stay until late on Tuesday nights because you have Wednesdays off. It’s abandoned by the time it’s nine pm, the perk of small parks in big cities. So I waited until I was ready, until I thought you would be ready, and then I decided it was time to meet you. 

8:42 on a Tuesday night, and I’ve never been more terrified before. I sit in the grass and watch you as the people slowly go home, watching you on your phone and messing with your camera. I notice for the first time, the green bracelet on your arm, which I recognize instantly, because I gave you that bracelet, Y/N. In high school, for your birthday. I gave it to you years ago, and you still wear it. 

That almost gives me hope.

I had a plan. Once it was empty enough, I took off my hat and sunglasses, and I just sat there. You needed to come to me, to feel comfortable enough to do so. It was going to be an accident that I was here, nothing creepy. Nothing to feed your worries or stresses. I wasn’t a worry, I was a comfort that was reappearing after years and years. 

When you saw me, your froze. You just stood there, unmoving and possibly unbreathing, frozen in a moment either now or in the past, mind racing and heart too fast. I waited for you, patiently. It was hard to not run up to you, to talk to you unprompted. But I had waited this long, I could wait a few minutes more.

Finally, you spoke. “What are you doing here?” 

I looked up, feigning surprise. “Oh my God, Y/N,” I closed my book and stood up, smiling as if I had no idea you still existed. “What are you doing in LA?”

“Cut the bullshit. I saw you the other day. At least, I thought I saw someone that looked just like you, and now I’m pretty fucking sure that was you, Joe. This can’t be happening. This isn’t-” You trailed off, mumbling to yourself. Your were suspitious, but I could work with suspicious. 

“You saw me? Seriously? Where was it?” I laugh as if I’m more confused than you are, still confused and surprised. Keep it up, Joe. Patience. “Why didn’t you-”

“Stop it. You were-” You stopped talking, your eyes widening a little at the absurdity of the situation. “You looked at me, Joe. I know you’re lying, so cut the bullshit. Be honest.”

I think it over for a minute. “I didn’t know if it was actually you or not.” I say, a little bit quieter. I feel like a kid again, and we haven’t even been talking for a minute. 

“Honest,” You repeated. “I’m not new to your games, Joe. Where did you see me first?”

“The bus stop,” I say, maintaining eye contact. You give me your ‘bullshit’ look, and I realize nothing has changed. I almost smile before I remember what’s happening, that I need to work fast and convince you. I can’t lose you again, not now that I’ve found you. “The bus stop,” I reaffirm, before adding. “Nice bracelet.” 

And I’ve changed the subject. 

“I need to go home,” You say, sounding tired and frantic. 

I take a step forward. “Let me walk you,”

“No, Joe.” You say loudly at first, and then repeat it a little softer. 

“Please, Y/N,” I say in a tone that we both know is close to a beg. You look at me with those big fucking eyes and I hope I’m making the same expression back. The puppy dog eyes are something we’ve both mastered. 

“Joe, I don’t love you anymore.” You say suddenly, and you throw your hands out to either side as if that’s it. As if that’s enough to satisfy me and it answers all my questions. 

“Then why are you still wearing the bracelet?” I’m begging you now, pleading with you and I hate my own tone of voice. 

You glance down at it as if you’ve forgotten about it. There’s a pause as you think for a moment, searching for words or for a lie. I’m frozen when I stand. “It’s not because I love you. It’s to remember.” You look up at me again, and your eyes aren’t just big anymore, they’re teary now. A part of me still wants to run to you, to tell you that it’s okay, but I know I can’t. “You killed me, Joe. Or you might as well have. I’m mourning her. I can’t forget her.”

Any act is long gone. We both know what you’re talking about, about all the conversations we had where you had tried to break up with me and I convinced you, about all the looks your had given me when I did something that would send off a red flag. “I didn’t, Y/N. I wouldn’t have. I was so careful with you.” 

You look at me in a way I’ve never seen before. “I hid. I shouldn’t have had to hide. I changed so much about me, about who I was because I was scared you would find me somehow, I don’t know.” You run a distressed hand through your hair.

“Why? Why were you so scared of me, Y/N? I was just some kid in love. I loved you so much. I love you so much.” I take a step towards you.

You match it with one back, putting up a distressed hand. “Stop, Joe. Stop. I’m not doing this, okay? All of these things about you pointed to terror for me and I went with my gut because you hear all of these horror stories about girls and their boyfriends and it was better safe than sorry and-“ You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. You’re crying and I didn’t even realize it. “And I am sorry, Joe. I really am, but we both know that’s what I needed to do.” And you’re right, Y/N, and it would be a lie to deny it. I didn’t have to do anything to you and you knew who I was. No one has ever understood as well as you. 

I am hurt as you look at me, somehow pained yet strong. “I’m sorry,” Is all I can manage out, and you don’t respond. 

“I need to go home,” You say finally. “You do too, Joe. This is out there now, and we can move on. Okay? Don’t try to find me again.”

“But I can’t forget about you.” I don’t know if I’m making excuses or being honest anymore. For a split second, I think about lunging at you, grabbing you or striking you or something -- but then I remember that this isn’t just anyone. This is you. Candace, Beck, Love, they’re all modelled after you. I think that’s all I’m working for, is you again. Yet I respect you too much to treat you like them, and I love you too much to really let you go. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. 

“Then don’t,” You look at me with calm eyes. “Then don’t forget about me. It’s better to remember, but to keep it somewhere just out of reach. It’s not like I could forget you, Joe. You were a part of my life,” You admit. “No matter how bad, you can’t forget something like that.” 

And that’s all you need to say. No goodbye, no farewell greeting. You turn and walk away.

And I let you, Y/N. 

For the first time in my life, I watch someone walk away from me, and that’s it. Out of everyone, I hate that it’s you leaving yet I’m happy that we ended it like this. I watch your wrist swing slightly as you walk, the stringy ends of the bracelet swinging along with it. I think of what you said, about remembering, and I know there’s some truth there. I’ve felt it before, the need to remember Candace and Beck long after I had thought they were gone. For them -- and for me.

But as you turned the corner for the final time, something in me pulls at my senses, telling me what I already know is true.  Your words ring in my mind one final time, but I know you’re wrong this once. 

Sometimes, Y/N, it’s better not to remember, but to forget.  

[costellos]

HI i LOVE ur "____ realizing they fell in love" series thing AND idk if you've done stardust crusaders but if you haven't i'd love to request that pretty pls luv u Aaa c:

I haven’t done the Crusaders yet!! today is your lucky day. 🥰 ty for supporting this series and I hope you enjoy this one!

BUCCI GANG | LA SQUADRA

tw: general violence, stabbing

❥ ┋ ❝ stardust crusaders realizing that they’re in love!

joseph joestar.

Joseph falls in love with you after you put yourself in danger.

the first thing you need to know about Joseph Joestar is that there’s always something up his sleeve. the second, that he prizes his family above all else. only one of those applied when you sacrificed yourself for his sake.

it happens during a stand battle. Hermit Purple is more of a defensive stand, with its ability to disarm and capture enemies. your stand works best offensively. as such, you make quite the pair when you encounter two of DIO’s subordinates in India.

but while Joseph was distracted, using Hermit Purple to wrap one of the goons in its violet vines, the other came barreling behind Joseph. he sees a glint in the henchwoman’s eyes, a look that tells him that she’s ready to kill. he knows you see it too. and that’s why he’s crying at you to get away.

it only took a moment. yet in that moment did you save Joseph, push the henchwoman back, and find a kukri in your side. it’s the one time that Joseph didn’t have anything up his sleeve, and one of many that he could feel his heart drop.

you didn’t have to defend him. he had already lived his life, and at that point, he had accepted he could die at any moment. he knew exactly what he was getting into when it came to DIO. and he was starting to wish that he hadn’t gotten you involved, too.

he knocks both of the goons out, leaving them in the alley. you’re not quite sure what happens next. all you can feel is Joseph holding you in his arms, frantically looking for help in the streets of Kolkata. he’s screaming. crying maybe? you lose consciousness soon after.

Joseph would visit you in your hospital room once you came to. he makes quite the scene, pushing doctors aside and slamming your door open. at first glance you think that he's mad, with his gritted teeth and clasped fists. he stops for a moment, studying your face. and it’s here that you realize he isn’t mad — no, his face quickly melts to concern, his lip quivering as he wraps you into a tight hug. ↳ “come here.” his voice is shaky. he sounds breathless, as if he ran here as soon as he got word that you woke up. “what the hell were you thinking? don’t go throwing yourself at anyone for my sake! you talk to me in battle, okay?”  alright, maybe he’s a little mad. he’s trying to say his words as gently as he can, though. “we need you, [Name].” and it’s true: the team does need you. but he of all people needs you most. he’s already losing one child. he can’t bear the thought of losing another.

muhammad avdol.

Avdol falls in love with you when he sees how patient you are.

he's a mentor above all else. Avdol’s career depends on guiding others to their destinies, leading them to something that he cannot posses. he’s never particularly minded. like all things, he just thinks that is his own destiny. he knows that fate can’t be changed.

it’s part of the reason why Avdol’s given up on Iggy. the dog is hopeless, fighting for his own wants and needs. he doesn’t care about the team or DIO or why he’s in Egypt. hence, aside from giving him coffee gum when Avdol needs him, the fortune teller leaves him alone.

then he sees you interacting with Iggy. “it’s hopeless,” Avdol tells you. but you look up at him and shake your head, asking him to just give you some time. Iggy will come around, you promise.

Avdol chuckles. “if you say so.”

despite his doubts, he keeps a close eye on you. you keep at it. you’re trying to get the dog’s trust, offering pets and belly rubs during moments of peace. Iggy seems disinterested.

in time, Avdol watches as you realize that Iggy hates being treated like a dog. you share your food with him and talk with him, even if he can’t understand what you have to say. one day, while driving through Egypt, Avdol peers into the rear view mirror and sees you asleep with Iggy on your lap.

the Boston terrier follows you everywhere now. he trots beside you and barks at whoever gets too close to you (much to Polnareff’s chagrin). Avdol can’t help but find this amusing.

well he’d be damned. you really did it. Avdol always thought of him as a good judge of character, and you proved him wrong. not that he minds; Iggy’s cooperation will make this mission much less difficult. it’s just that your unyielding patience and dedication is... well. it’s quite nice with all the other interesting characters on this trip.

Avdol approaches you while you’re reading in the hotel lobby. as always, Iggy is at your feet. he’s fast asleep, thankfully. the fortune teller tries to be quiet so as not to wake him. ↳ “I apologize.” he takes the armchair across from yours, resting his cheek on his fist, an amused smile on his lips. “you’re a lot more patient than I gave you credit for.” maybe Avdol had unknowingly guided you to Iggy. maybe it was fate that Iggy would be brought here, only to be loved by you. “I admire that of you. though I suppose there’s a lot I admire about you, hm?” fate can’t be changed. he knew that. but maybe it was fate that like Iggy, Avdol was brought here to be with you.

jotaro kujo.

Jotaro falls in love with you after you call him out.

he hates showing his true colors. that kind of vulnerability is something that he’s never gotten accustomed to, nor does he think that he ever will. it’s part of the reason why he dislikes displaying more emotion than what’s necessary. a slight twinge of his lip or brow can show enough of what he’s thinking. any more than that is a waste of energy. they get the gist, he tells himself.

you proved him wrong when you lost a game of checkers. it’s a humid day in Cairo and during a rare moment of peace, you and Jotaro opt to play a friendly game of checkers with some locals. though the word “friendly” is subjective. if either of you won, 2500 Egyptian pounds would be yours.

it’s your turn. the game is a close call. although it can be over within the next two turns, you can’t tell what your opponent’s next move would be. thankfully, Jotaro is standing behind him, giving you cues for your next move.

...yet because you misunderstand his cue, you watch as you promptly lose any pieces that you had left. your opponent takes your pieces and the 2500 Egyptian pounds with it.

“what the hell was that?” Jotaro is angry. you are too. after losing the game, you collected your things and began to head back to the hotel, with Jotaro at your heels. “I was nodding my head! that was your cue to move left.” 

you stop in your tracks. “that wasn’t you nodding! you just moved your head down! how was I supposed to know?”

he clicks his tongue in response. a beat, and then finally, “you’re really damn annoying, you know that?” 

“yeah, and you’re an asshole.”

Jotaro’s been called many things. sweetie, honey, the hottest guy at school, but asshole? that’s a first. while he won’t admit it, the name stings. it sounds foreign coming from you. he didn’t think he had upset you that much.

he lets the day pass, partly for you, mostly for him. he needs to gather his thoughts. it’s the first time anyone had called him out for his behavior. moreover, Jotaro hates the fact that you may know him better than he does himself. what else do you know about him? did you know that you could upset him this much? ...when did you start to occupy this much space in his head?

so at sundown the next day, you get a knock on your hotel room from Jotaro Kujo himself. you try to close it, but he sticks his foot between the door and the frame before you can. ↳ “look, I’m sorry, alright?” he’s refusing to look at you. “I just... really wanted to win. I pushed that on you. and...” he sighs. "I’m sorry.” he’s apologizing through gritted teeth, yet apologizing nonetheless. it’s the right thing to do and he doesn’t want to lose a friend to his pride. especially one who calls him out on his bullshit. despite everything, you just smile and unfold your arms, telling him that you forgive him. and for a brief moment, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. although Jotaro Kujo hates being vulnerable, he would hate losing you more.

noriaki kakyoin.

Kakyoin falls in love with you while eating breakfast together.

he’s never had any real friends. any attempts to share facts about himself, whether about his stand or his interests, would be met with scorn. it wasn’t until he had breakfast with you — one tiny moment in a trip filled with wacky happenings — that led him to believe that maybe the world wasn’t so lonely.

it’s 7 AM. normally at this time Mr. Joestar and Avdol are off running errands or planning something privately. Kakyoin turns beside him to find Jotaro and Polnareff fast asleep. he wonders where you’d be at this hour, yet when he enters the dining room, he quickly finds the answer to his question.

"good morning,” he says, taking the seat from across you. his voice is gentle though far more awake than you’d expect for seven in the morning. you greet him as enthusiastically as you can muster, flashing a toothy grin. but upon realizing that you were still chewing your food, you quickly turn away and wave your hand, apologizing for the scene. Kakyoin laughs in return.

the conversation itself is rather tame. you ask about his life, what Japan is like, if he misses his parents. Kakyoin answers all of this truthfully, because... well. no one else has ever taken the time to ask. it feels odd to be interviewed. though not uncomfortable.

and you take genuine interest in what he has to say, too. you ask follow up questions and give real, emotional responses. while you sympathize with him, you don’t pretend to know what he’s gone through.

you didn’t have to engage with him. sure, you’re the only ones awake right now, but he didn’t expect you to be so real with him. Polnareff never takes anything Kakyoin says seriously. Jotaro doesn’t even pretend to care. Mr. Joestar and Avdol have their own things to worry about. it feels... nice to be considered.

needless to say, Kakyoin feels his heart sink when the others wake up. is that too selfish? should he be disappointed in himself for wanting to spend more time with you?

yet even with them there, with Polnareff hogging the conversation and Jotaro being his usual cool self, you try to keep Kakyoin involved. you refuse to let him fade in the background.

he stops you as everyone starts to clean up and go on with their days. ↳ “we should do this more often.” he’s trying to keep it casual. “ah, if you’re up this early again, I mean. I really enjoyed our conversation. it’s a lot more productive when Polnareff’s not awake.” now it’s your turn to laugh in response. you agree, saying that you enjoyed your time with him, too. at this, Kakyoin could feel his cheeks start to burn. right here, right at this moment with you, did Noriaki Kakyoin feel that he wasn’t so alone. 

jean pierre polnareff.

Polnareff falls in love with you when he hears you humming to yourself.

although he would never admit it, he’s lost. what he’s looking for he’s not quite sure. vengeance? honor? it’s something he’s constantly asking himself. behind those dumb jokes and loud laughs is someone who just wants to find himself.

to be honest, he’s always fancied you. it was pretty obvious from the start. the way he looked at you, how his hands were always at your hip, guiding you away from the others. he just thought it was another crush until he heard you humming to yourself.

it’s such a simple happenstance. he didn’t mean to walk in on you. yet there you are, standing on the roof of their hotel, hanging everyone’s laundry to dry. you look so at peace here, with your eyelids low and your fingers at work with one of Polnareff’s shirts. you’re handling it so gently despite it not being your own laundry.

it’s in that moment that he realizes what he wants to do. Sherry’s murderer is dead. she can finally be at peace. Avdol has been found, affirming that he didn’t die for Polnareff’s sake. and here you are, humming a song that he doesn’t know but appearing so content.

while he may not know who he is, he does know that he wants to make you that happy everyday.

Polnareff takes this as his cue to approach you. you bend down to reach into your laundry basket, and when you come back up, the Frenchman is there. he’s not pulling any dumb moves, though. he’s much quieter here.

he follows your lead, reaching into the basket for one of his pants, then comes back up to hang them. you return his actions with a smile, a wordless indication of thanks, and continue to work. that song you were humming returns once more, and Polnareff swears that he can feel his heartbeat pounding in his fingertips.

you and Polnareff continue to work like this until the laundry basket is empty. it’s the first time he doesn’t say anything for 10 minutes, at least that you’ve noticed. what you don’t notice that he’s trying to avoid staring, sneaking quick glances as you focus on the task at hand.

when all is said and done, you stretch your arms far above your head, cuing a satisfying pop from your back. you thank Polnareff for helping you and begin heading back to your room. however, he’s quick to stop you. ↳ “hey, wait!” yikes. did that sound too much? “err- let me know if you need any help. I’m always here for you, [Name].” he sounds defeated in that last sentence. he can tell. he wonders if you can, too. but when you grin and tuck your hair behind your ear, telling him that you’d keep him in your thoughts, Polnareff can’t help but feel his heart swell. did he make you happy here?

[duhragonball]

I think I’m just gonna ramble a bit-- nothing earthshaking-- so here’s a nice, unrelated picture of Cooler to set that up.

I managed to get through Camp Nano in April with about an hour to spare.  I’m still frustrated with my pacing, because I’ve gotten pretty good at finishing the November writing goals with time to spare, but I always end up falling behind on the shorter goals I try to do during the rest of the year.   July is up next, so I’m kind of hoping I can turn this around by then.  

April was difficult all over, so I’m trying to use May to chill the fuck out.    Somehow I find that hard to do.  Like if I’m relaxing, I just get bored or feel unproductive.  That’s one reason I’m writing this post.    I just want to get some thoughts out of my head so I can move on.

For whatever reason, I got sucked into watching YouTube videos about the Nostalgia Critic and his various blunders from 2012 to present.   That sounds pretty sad now that I write it out, because I never followed the guy that closely, so I keep forgetting the hellacious filming schedule discussed in the Change the Channel movement happened years earlier, and the movies themselves were ridiculed as debacles, so it’s not just one bad year, more like nine or ten.   Anyway, watching all of this has given me some stuff to think about.  

I think I first heard about the NC when he started doing that “feud” with the Angry Video Game Nerd.   They did some videos together teasing a crossover, and then they finally went through with it, and it wasn’t terrible, but I had no idea who the other guy was.    It was like Batman teaming up with some indie comics character you never heard of.  Batman doesn’t need the rub.   From the beginning, I got the sense that Nostalgia Critic was the one driving this concept.  Once I heard about Channel Awesome and all these YouTube reviewers crossing over with each other, I was sure of it.  

Looking back on it all, I get the sense that NC has never really had much of a creative agenda.   His early work involved “reviewing” movies by playing long clips of them to recap the plot, and then making some snarky commentary.  Not the worst format, except he kept getting copyright strikes from YouTube, which was why he started his own website to host his videos.  Over the years, it feels like people have begun to recognize the flaw in that format.  Past a point, you’re not really “reviewing” anything.  It’s more like an MST3K style thing, only shorter and less authorized.  

Years ago, I used to read this site called “The Agony Booth”, which sort of did the same thing but in text.   Before YouTube really got going, the only way to lambast a movie or TV episode properly was to meticulously describe it in prose, with the occasional screenshot here and there.   Nostalgia Critic probably represents a point where people realized they could do the same thing in video form, except it starts to cross the line from commentary to something else.   Siskel and Ebert never did a blow-by-blow synopsis of a movie.    Reviewers like the Agony Booth crew did, because they were often discussing old material, and couldn’t show it to you or assume that you had seen it yourself.   A lot of NC’s early stuff was the same deal, where he’d recall something from his childhood and rewatch it to see how it holds up in the present.  So I’m sure a lot of his content covered old, out-of-circulation things.   But he’d do more recent stuff too, and the attitude surrounding YouTube at the time was that you could pretty much do whatever you wanted as long as you kept it under ten minutes. 

Anyway, the Channel Awesome thing looked like an alliance of similar YouTube reviewers, and they kept appearing in each other’s stuff, and then they did the anniversary movies, which were basically “mega crossovers” with all of them appearing together in the same... story, I guess?   At the time, I wrote the whole thing of as a masturbatory power fantasy.   Comic books did crossovers like these all the time, and YouTube seemed to have hundreds of “reviewers” and “personalities” who would put on silly costumes and carry toy weapons like they were about to fight Thanos instead of discussing the ALF cartoon.   The second Channel Awesome movie was about high fantasy tropes, and the third one was a space opera, so that seemed to support my assumption.

From watching all these videos about the movies, though, it looks more like each one was mostly about the Nostalgia Critic talking all his “friends” into another one of his kooky schemes, and they all just sort of go along with it, even though they know him to be a self-centered jerk.   Then the third one ends with NC quantum-leaping out of the story itself and meeting Doug Walker, the guy who writes and plays the character.   They try to sell the audience on the idea that NC had some sort of character development across the three movies, and he decides to sacrifice himself to save the day or something.   This was touted as the finale for the character.   Except it turned out later that Doug Walker wasn’t just playing a self-centered jerk, he really was a self-centered jerk, because he treated the others like crap during the filming and didn’t tell any of them that he was killing off their website’s top draw.

That leads into Demo Reel, the series Doug Walker introduced to fill the void.   From what I’ve seen, it sure looked like he wanted/expected this to be a big hit, and he killed off his biggest meal ticket to make this happen.  But everyone hated it.  I think the pilot episode asks the question “What is Demo Reel?” about three times.   Each time, the answer makes less and less sense.   “Demo Reel” the show is about a studio named “Demo Reel”, run by Donnie DuPre, a self-centered jerk who seems to think there’s big money to be made in plagiarizing movies.   The whole thing is just a flimsy plot device to explain why Doug Walker and two other actors would bother making a no-budget parody/re-telling of three Batman movies smooshed together.   There’s no real-world or fictional reason for three people to do this, it’s just that Doug Walker wanted to make a YouTube video about Batman, but he didn’t want to use the NC format, and he couldn’t just talk over a Batman movie without getting in trouble with Warner Bros.   And I guess just... dressing up like Batman and making jokes needs some sort of context, so that’s where the Demo Reel concept comes in. 

What really annoys me is that Demo Reel has this “mockumentary” thing going on at the same time, so you end up watching their parody movie and the scenes where they make the parody movie, and you get these interview segments where they talk about talking about making the parody movie.   It’s like “The Office” except every character is completely delusional.   They’ve all convinced themselves that this is a really good idea, and I guess the joke is that this is a really stupid job and they must be pretty stupid to work at it.   

No one knows where Demo Reel was originally headed, because it was so reviled by the audience that it got cancelled in five episodes, ending with the revelation that Donnie DuPre was the Nostalgia Critic all along, in some sort of amnesiac state.    Or maybe that was the plan all along, I’m not sure which scenario would be dumber, honestly.   New Coke was a sincere effort to phase out the original Coca-Cola formula, but it was such a failure that everyone thinks it was a brilliant ploy to make consumers appreciate the original.   So who knows?

Anyway, this started the next phase of NC, where he would just remake scenes of whatever movie he’s covering that week, a la Demo Reel.    I don’t know if that’s just a strategy to avoid YouTube copyright strikes, or a stubborn refusal to give up the core concept of Demo Reel, or what.  Then he got around to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”, and everyone crapped on that, big time.   I haven’t seen the original movie or his “review”, but from what I gathered, Doug

a) basically did a shot-for-shot remake of the movie, only shorter and cheaper.

b) spent the whole video lambasting the movie and the band for making it.

c) offered his parody songs for sale on iTunes, calling them a “love letter to Pink Floyd.”

The big question is: Why did he put so much work into making the thing when he had so little to actually say about it?   There’s no clear opinion expressed about the movie, even though the video is supposed to be a “review”.   He kind of acts like he thought “The Wall” was okay, but the parody lyrics read like the awkward part of a celebrity roast.   Why go to all this trouble unless you really love or absolutely despise “The Wall”? 

Eventually, I started to figure out that this guy really just doesn’t have much to say.   He wants to make videos, make movies, make reviews, but it doesn’t seem like there’s any real opinion or thought that he wants to express.   I was watching him freak out over the credit card scene from “Batman and Robin” and thought “Are you that upset over Batman having a credit card?”   That’s not even in the top twenty dumbest things in that movie.   Sure, it’s worth a snide remark, but not much more than that.  But he’s “doing a character”, and the NC’s whole schtick is to flip out over stuff like that.  

Except it’s not a character, because NC is just Doug Walker wearing a stupid hat, right?  In the movies, NC’s whole persona is that he’s a self-centered jerk who treats his friends like a personal army, and the real Doug Walker was doing the exact same thing off-camera.    Donnie DuPre was another “character”, wearing a different hat, only whoops, he’s the Nostalgia Critic too.   And even if he wasn’t the same guy, his persona was... you guessed it, a self-centered jerk who treats his friends like a personal army.  

There was this whole era on YouTube where it seemed like all these “content creators” were trying to adopt silly gimmicks.    I’m guessing the Angry Video Game Nerd started the trend, because he dressed up in a white button-down shirt with a pocket protector and glasses.   He looked like a stereotypical nerd, you see.  And he’d drink a particular kind of beer, and lose his temper and set Nintendo cartridges on fire, because AVGN was a character.   You watch James Rolfe being himself and he’s a whole other person, always smiling and talking about horror movies and filmmaking, because that’s what the real guy is about.   There’s a separation there.  

I think that was the disconnect.   A lot of these YouTubers saw James Rolfe playing the Nerd and just assumed the secret was to rant and rave about some topic, and he used a Nintendo Zapper to shoot a pickle monster once, so dressing up like a Power Ranger in a trenchcoat didn’t seem like a bridge too far.  Well, no not if you’re trying to make a movie or tell a story.  If all you want to do is talk about Star Wars, you should probably keep it simple.  I think one of the consequences of Nostalgia Critic’s fall from grace is that modern YouTubers are more grounded.   I’ve watched a lot of Jenny Nicholson videos and she’s pretty funny and animated, but she’s not trying to be a charicture of herself.  She’s just this lady sitting on her bed surrounded by porg dolls.  It works a lot better.   

I used to watch the Game Overthinker unironically.   Does anyone remember Moviebob?  Well once upon a time he wasn’t completely bonkers.   The GO series was reasonably well done and uncomplicated... until the dude started appearing on camera and introducing “characters” and storylines that killed whatever point he was trying to make in his video essays.   Then I started watching him ironically, and then I sort of stopped caring about him altogether, and then he pissed away whatever goodwill he had.   I can’t help but feel like he might have been better off just staying behind the camera, or if he had to be on-screen, just sit on a bed with a bunch of Mario dolls or whatever. 

The fad of YouTube personality as wannabe superhero got me thinking of the whole “Mary Sue” and “self-insert” thing.   They’re really poorly defined terms, and they’ve been overused in so many unfair criticisms that I don’t think they make much sense anymore.    When I first got into fanfic, I saw a lot of people simply writing themselves into their stories.   That’s what a self-insert was.    You literally inserted yourself in the story so you could tell Wolverine to his face that his haircut looks stupid, or whatever you wanted to say to him.    I always found this idea infuriating, because I know who Wolverine is, but this other guy telling him off is a complete stranger, and why should I care about him?   Why should Wolverine care? 

One response to that problem would be to present your self-insert like a bigger deal than you are.   You could put yourself in this story and not only talk to Wolverine, but give yourself an elaborate backstory, where you’re a high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and you and Logan go way back, etc., etc.   But that’s a tricky proposition, because if you’re doing it right, you’re just inventing a new character with the same name as you.    Or you can overdo it and make the character too big a deal, at the risk of outshining the other characters.    The Mary Sue concept originated from this, with Star Trek fanzines getting all these story submissions about young, super-talented ensigns who join the crew and immediately win over Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. 

The dirty little secret of character creation is that every character you write is a self-insert or an author surrogate, to some degree.   You can have one that’s meant to be your alter ego, the one who’s based on you and tends to react the way you would in a similar situation.  But you’re writing all the other characters too, and deciding what they think and say and do, so to a certain point they also think a lot like you do, whether you meant for them to or not.  The trick is not to be super-blatant about it, or to revel in the creative freedom to break the fourth wall.   Readers hate that stuff, because they don’t know you well enough to get the joke.   

That’s the advice I’ve always had at the ready in case anyone ever asked me.   But, watching all this stuff about the Nostalgia Critic has made me realize that it applies from the other direction.    It’s very easy to say you’ve created a character, distinct from yourself, only for it to turn out to be more of a reflection of you than you intended.   I can’t tell if Doug Walker is self-aware or not, but it seems like the joke with all his “characters” is that they’re extremely selfish and shallow, and yet he seems to also be selfish and shallow.  So is he aware of this, and he’s trying to exaggerate his flaws for his characters?  Or does he just not realize that he’s telling on himself every time he plays these roles?   Or does he think everyone is selfish and shallow, and that this is just boilerplate information, like blinking and wearing shoes?

I’ll pick on myself, because it’s handier to do so.   I’ve made a bunch of original characters over the years, some that were supporting players, and others who were designed to be big deals.    One of my villains was this bitter misanthrope, and eventually I realized that I was a lot more like him than the outgoing group of buddies that he was trying to oppose.    That hit me and I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with that ever since.  

I wrote a butler in my Hellsing fic, basically an anti-Walter based on Marcus Brody from the Indiana Jones movies.   He was clueless and couldn’t stand the sight of blood, and he was really old, so he told the vampires that if he ever had a heart attack and dropped dead on the job that they shouldn’t pass up the free meal.   Is that me in there?   I tend to think a lot about the world moving on without me, and my own obsolescence.   I just didn’t think I was tapping into that when I wrote the character.   I wouldn’t even bring it up, except I liked writing the guy so much, and that’s the main thing I remember about him.  

A lot of my villains in Luffa are representations of things that I’d like to see punched, because Luffa is an unapologetic Mary Sue Self Insert.    I made her all these other things that I’m not: brave, a woman of color, a good cook, a charismatic lover.   But fuck that, this was all just a ploy to keep people from noticing any resemblance to me and my imaginary punching agenda.   But the villains hold all these shitty attitudes and shitty behaviors, things which I consider to be wrong but sometimes catch myself turning a blind eye to.   Jealousy, greed, fear, resentment, and so on.  

You end up putting a lot of yourself into your writing, there’s really no way to avoid it.  The only real trick is to disguise it a bit so it looks like a story instead of just an essay or an autobiography.   I think that’s where some of the YouTube personalities got it wrong, because they would try to tell a story AND write an essay at the the same time, and that’s tough to pull off.   One of the big things that came out of that whole Channel Awesome document was this problematic scene in “To Boldly Flee” where Linkara has been replaced by a cyborg duplicate, and he converts Lindsey Ellis into a cyborg, and someone hears all these suggestive noises and thinks they’re having rough sex.   It’s awkward anyway you slice it, but it gets even worse because it’s basically the real Linkara and Lindsey Ellis.    Their “characters” are so poorly distinguished from the real people that there’s no other way to describe it.  

Also, one of the most salient points I picked up from watching all these commentary videos is that real people can’t have character arcs.   You can’t just stick Filmdude and Captain Snark and Filmdudette and Movie Sniffer and The Comics Complainer all into the same scene and expect anything important to happen to any of them.   They can’t learn anything or grow in any appreciable way during the story, because they’re real and the story is fictional.  The only “character” to their roles are the bit where they review pop culture stuff, which might as well be non-fictional, so why bother?  Even if I’m wrong, and there really is a more complete fictionalized version of everybody in the Channel Awesome Trilogy, the waters are so muddied that you can’t make sense of it. 

And that’s the real danger of leaning too hard into putting a 1:1 replica of yourself into your stories.  Stephen King can be a bus driver in one of his movies, and Stan Lee can be a bus driver in Avengers 3, but if Stan Lee just started kicking the shit out of Ultron it’d be confusing, especially for people who didn’t know who he was.  And if Joss Whedon started kicking the shit out of Ultron, it’d be even worse, because he’s not as well-known as Stan Lee.   You’re better off making up a guy like Thor or the Hulk who can do it for you, and then putting just enough of yourself into those characters that you won’t get caught.  

At least, that’s how I see it.  

[minijenn]

Happy Birthday, Keys to the Kingdom!

Yeah as of today my own special little slice of hell known as Keys to the Kingdom has existed for the world to see for two years now. And its still going strong even into its second half (which I’m VERY much looking forward to!) I didn’t really plan a big huge celebration for Keys’ 2nd birthday (though ya’ll are more than welcome to do something special for it if you’d like, I’d love you forever if you did) But I figured it would go fun to go back through every chapter of Keys written so far and list my top ten personal favorites. So this is that list. Enjoy!

10. Chapter 30: Recuérdame: This was a really fun chapter if I remember correctly; its a nice mix between plot progression and the Coco stuff (featuring some of my favorite scenes from that movie, so playing around with those was great) but I also loved writing the first in story reveal for Xion and the fight between Sora and Xigbar while set to Imelda singing La Lorrona? Fuckin Iconic if you ask me, this one is great 

9. Chapter 31: Destined Reunion: This is mostly a very dialogue heavy chapter where not a lot happens but honestly I just really like a lot of the interactions in it; there’s a lot of Sora being salty towards Riku in here which tbh is kinda fun to write? But there’s also some soft Sokai stuff and towards the end we get some fun/foreshadowy interactions with our resident Goth Club so overall its a pretty neat one :3

8. Chapter 24: Where the Dream Takes You: So I really love the second Atlantis chapter? It veers away from the movie and also follows it just enough to feel unique in its own right and it has a lot of plot progression for the main story, especially in regards to our good friend the Lingering Will; I like the action in this one a lot and I really love the Trinity Trio’s little emotional talk with each other at the end, it tugs at my heartstrings every time I read it :3

7. Chapter 38: So This Is Love: otherwise known as Prom! Honestly this one is just a sweet, cute fluff-fest and it was so much fun to write the kiddos just relaxing and having a good time for a change. The Destiny Trio in particular just filled my heart with so many warm fuzzies here, especially towards the end when they really start romancing it up! Plus everyone in their fancy outfits was a delight to draw and to write about, overall its a grand time for all ^_^

6. Chapter 21: Depths of Despair; golly this one is just a bit ol drama fest but I think its a pretty great one. Sora spends the whole thing captured and tortured and poisoned and it really is just the biggest shift in the tone of the story so far because of that; Maleficent gets to be the center stage baddie for a chapter, Pete gets a bit of development, and we also get some strong moments from Kairi and Axel and the Restoration Committee, and the scene where Kairi brings Sora back from rage form near the end is still one of my favorites; overall there are a lot of little moments in this one that I love in here, its a really good one. 

5. Chapter 33: Song as Old as Rhyme: A great example of a Disney chapter where the overarching plot kind of takes more of the center stage. This one is a wild ride for sure with a lot of action and intensity, and its Not a very good time for our boy between him having a panic attack over Maleficent confronting him again to getting shot in the damn shoulder to being grounded by his boyfriend for lying it really does tear Sora down quite a bit but I looooooved wriiting all that so its high on my list for sure because of it 

4. Chapter 36: Return to Depart; this chapter features two really great scenes right at the start of it, Sora bonding with Aqua and soft Soriku fluff/angst hour. But then I doubled down by giving the boy an identity crisis between all of the different hearts inside of his and wooooooow I love how I wrote it, its trippy and wild and intense and dramatic; even to the end this one is great because we get our first hints of the bond between Sora and Ven and its soft yet solemn all at once and wow despite carrying some scenes from the game I still think this one is pretty standout 

3. Chapter 35: Distorted Reflection: Whoooooo boy this chapter is hella dark and kind of a mind fuck but golly if it wasn’t such a delight to write. Having Sora essentially hear himself list every fear he has and everything he hates about himself is some quality Character Study stuff; there are so many lines in this chapter I keep coming back to in more recent chapters and I really will continue to do reference it as we move along; it’s also pretty standout that Sora doesn’t even win against his phantom in this chapter, my original plan was for him to win but then I was like “no that’s not thematically right, the entire story is basically about him fighting a battle against himself that he can’t win so why should he win the literal battle against himself?” so I made it sad and had him lost until the Mystery Light came around to help him (I also love that entire part, its such a nice bit of comfort after all the angst this chapter brings). Overall, I love the deep intensity and feels of this one its a classic.

2. Chapter 22: Rise and Fall and Rise Again. Basically a biiiiiig ol bundle of hurt/comfort with some soft angst and romance mingled it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this chapter really is just another big long character study for Sora and golly if it doesn’t have some of my favorite moments in the entire fic so far, despite those moments being quiet and understated and mostly emotional more than anything else; I also really love Kairi in this chapter and I love how it develops her relationship with Sora even more towards their eventual Relationship Upgrade. Its also the first chapter of Keys I got teary eyed while writing soooo ya know there’s that. 

1. And finally, my favorite chapter so far: Chapter 27: What Once Was Mine. Gooooosh this chapter has EVERYTHING. It starts out soft and fun and fluffy with some cute romancy moments, then it gradually starts getting more tense and it builds until basically everything’s gone horribly wrong and ends in a really sad kind of solemn place and we get such nice pairing between the Tangled stuff and the Keys overarching plot stuff. This chapter has so many exceptional moments but I really love the entire section where Sora finally comes clean to Donald and Goofy bc I’m destroyed by Trinity Trio feels every time I read it. Overall, I adore this one but I really do think that it’s very soon about to be outclassed by some stuff I have planned for Keys in the very near future :3

And some Honorable Mentions: Chapter 20: Immortals (mostly for its second half, its first half is pretty weak which is why its not on this list); Chapter 10: Sinister Whispers (aka the chapter where Keys finally starts fucking picking up the pace XD), and chapter 16: Unspoken, Unheard (a nice little Kairi character study)

And those are all the chapters of Keys I really love, feel free to drop me a line about what your favorites are (or even just your favorite moments, general discussion about Keys, things you’re looking forward to seeing, stuff like that). A HUGE thanks to everyone who’s stuck with Keys thus far, I can assure you that the best is certainly yet to come.... :3

[thelakesuite]

ideas for a roots musical have been BANGING around in my head for at least a month now so i’m finally bothering to write them down. expect reblogs of this when i get more

- there are two actual background pieces: outside of the house and the basement (which is pulled over when required, the outside one need not be lifted i dont think). the real backdrops consist of two.. cross-hinge-things? no more than half the background’s height (or ~2ft higher than the actors if that’s taller) that can be folded flat to show four faces (the workshop & attic will probably use the same wood-panel back) or can be moved aside (wheels presumably). i’m not sure how windows would work since those are vital in at least two levels, but rn im thinking theres just another wall piece with a window in it

- the five corrupted hotel guests act as stagehands, moving the pieces while the curtains are up. they never interact with anyone directly (besides william? maybe?) until the end where they tie up frank & leonard

- aldous and william do their shit at the beginning & drop possibly too much exposition. william’s corrupted soul is a different actor standin behind william who’s reveald when william fuckin dies. aldi just pulls out a crow mask(?) from behind himself & puts it on a la paradox & is like “well i’ll call ya nephew cya”.

- corrupted william is there for most of the show, mostly there to do weird stuff in the background, get talked about, and hand people stuff

- i’m debating on whether the opening number is just james complaining/getting freaked out or whether the whole (adult) family come out & do a dance bit while james is just. really confused

- i don’t think we can have a dog :(

- i’m sure theres some kind of expanding tree prop that could be used, but if there isnt its not like we’re outside all too much it could just be different trees

- the staircase/the elixir is one number where james gets all hubrised. mary’s there. urging him not to do this, think of the kids, think of the things you could miss, whatever. he drinks the elixir, there’s a suspenseful pause, then he chokes & dies lol. probably either no wake or a highly modified one

- oh also i’m not sure if c-willy or the hotel guests Collect the Sacrifices but the guests definitely carry off the bodies. obviously theyre obscurin em while they do it and actually walk out with a Concealed Prop except maybe emmas tears

- sam & albert are there during fertility talkin to emma. sam is anti-alchemy-shenanigans and is like ‘you know what happened to dad’ while al’s just bein ominous

- sam gets his fortune read by ida in a musical number. for each tarot card the associated person walks behind them (on a platform if it can be managed) and acts out the prediction. the devil is the 2nd to last to come up, albert walks out with the skull and dolls of course. the last is death, sam’s like “what’s that mean” and ida’s like “oh i’d rather not tell you” while al’s doing the slit-ya-throat gesture in the background (yes i know death isnt the worst one its actually the tower but not everyone does and death sounds cooler)

- the search is a musical number. that’s all i got for it.

- william isnt there during the lying game, its just the four playin 2-truths-1-lie or whatever. when al is exposed he storms off & bumps into mr. crow who gives him the deer skull

- there might be an added solo/monologue of albert making the dolls. i’d love to have crow urging him on but that might not be fitting

- family band is a musical number, starting with The Tune of course. then al knocks leonard and mary out with his tuba & shows off the dolls as the music changes to whatever goes on for voodoo. him, sam and ida move center while mary & leonard get escorted off (and mary’s teeth get harvested ya know). voodoo stuff happens, al sings about how he hates sam and loves ida or whatever, sam n ida die, al’s smug, the usual

- the well is a whole piece man. the inside shot not just the surface (tho thats a thing too). it gets wheeled out for frank’s lament at the bottom (with the basement backdrop) then used for Nothing Else!

- oh i didn’t mentioned the aboveground well has a floor in it that frank just chills in whenever he’s in there

- i’m not sure how communication would work out. or leonard’s missing leg for that matter but that’s later. (maybe theres something else that could be sacrificed thats reasonable but i dont know)

- i have. one line. and thats frank going “and next you will be the king of hell” when he puts the crown on albert during checkmate. and immediately strangling him afterward. im hoping al’s head can be covered up by the table for the Brain Harvesting, it might need to get knocked over though. the table not the brain. albert does also get knocked over though

- all three timepieces are collected in one number, though im not sure if you see them all at once or if its sequential. graveyard might also be an issue

- the closing has the six dead guys march out in the background (hopefully on that platform if we could get one earlier) holding their sacrifice jars, lookin all mournful. they do some rounds of sayin ‘live’ (including frank n leonard) while rose does her thing. they all kneel and/or hang their heads low at the very end, just before rose emerges with the baby & the curtains close

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 11

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Triggers:  crying.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you   so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I   think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag   you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8   penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming  alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​

-So, how did the audition go?- Henry asked you. You video-called him as soon as you woke up as you promised to do every day that you spend apart. You also agreed that he'd do the same before going to sleep. You had your audition the day before in the afternoon, but by the time it ended, he was already sleeping because he needed to be awake at 3 am to get ready to be on the set of the show, so he just left you a sweet good night text and went to bed. He was once again on Geralt's makeup but you were starting to get used to it. - Great! - you said, happy but not overexcited. He studied your expression. - Are you sure? You don't seem that excited. - Yes, I'm sure. I just don't want to get my expectations too high so it won't hurt so bad if I don't get it. - you admitted shrugging. - You'll get it. You're amazing! - he encouraged you - I know...and so are the other actresses up for the role. The casting director told me I did an amazing job, but he, the director and the producers needed to have a chat to see who of all the potentials candidates was the most fitting for the role, but he assured me that I was on that list. It's a good thing, but until they tell me "you got it", I won't celebrate anything. Ok, maybe the fact that it felt really good to be back on the acting game. It's been a while and until now I haven't realized how much I missed it. - I have not doubts you'll get it, but if you don't, you'll get other chances to work with Meryl Streep and there are thousands of movies ready for you to be on them if you want to and you know that.- he said proudly and made you smile. -You're right. Thank you.- How's Kal? - He's great. Kal! - Henry screamed at Kal to see if the puppy came to say hi to you but he showed you that the puppy was lazily resting on a couch. Both of you laughed. - Hi Kal! I missed you!- You could see him moving his tail, probably because he recognized your voice, but he continued sitting on his spot. - He's lazy today, but he's missed you too. We both do. - And I missed both of you too. - Do you by any chance know when you are coming back? - he asked - Not yet. They told me that by tomorrow the should have a decision made and then they let us know because they need to sign the contracts. So for sure, I have to wait another day and if I get it I have to stay until I signing. - I see. - he sighed- Well, it could be just a few more days hopefully. - Yes, let's hope so. - What are you going to do today? - I... I'm going to Jared's house -you said sighing in a sign of displeasing - You're going to your ex's house?- he repeated in an inquisitive tone, he clearly wasn't pleased with that. - Yes. When I moved out I didn't take everything with me, just some essentials. I have clothes, my awards, a few instruments and some other things that I still have to pick up. - Is he gonna be in there? - No, as far as I know. I haven't been talking to him. I only talk to his assistant Shayla, we're cool and she actually took the time to put most of my belongings into boxes to save me time. I just have to go and grab them and see if there's anything else mine that she might have forgotten to pack. We spoke yesterday and she told me that he agreed to leave the house for the day so I could take all my stuff and leave. He'll just give the key to her and she'll let me in and help me with everything. Are you jealous? - you questioned amused. - It's not that...It's just... you suffer a lot with him and in that house. I'm just not happy about the idea of you being in the place that caused you all that pain. - I know. It's not exactly happy for me either. I hate that house. But, I want my possessions back so I've got to go. I'll be alright, I promise. - I hope so. I'll call you tonight, ok? I have to be back on set right now. Bye baby- he said waving you. - Ok. Bye baby! - you replied blowing a kiss.

The house hadn't changed a bit since you left. The only difference is that for the first time in a long time was practically empty, except for Shayla, Beth - who went with you to help you and for moral support- and two men from a moving company waiting outside by the truck; Jared gave the day to all the employees that are always around the house so you could be alone as you picked up your stuff. You always begged him to do that, but of course, he had to wait for you to broke up to do it, but still, it was a nice gesture. Shayla's done a pretty good job boxing all your stuff. There were just a few minor things, like a pair of shoes, one of your guitars that she thought that belonged to Jared and a few books. You went to the closet to see if she missed any piece of clothing and you didn't find anything yours, but to your surprise, you found a woman's clothes where yours used to be. It didn't take you a long time to recognize some of those clothes and you knew that those belong to her; the woman he slept with right after you broke up with him, the woman he told you for a long time that "was just a friend". You looked at Shayla raising your eyebrow in a sign of annoyment. She didn't need you to say a word to know what was going on in your head. "She's been staying in here for the last couple weeks," she told you and you rolled you eyes and replied "whatever". After taking all the things that were yours, you hugged Shayla a thanked her for her help. She's always been so nice to you. She was one of the few people that you were going to miss now that things between you and her boss and friend were over. You decided to leave the unboxing part for another moment. Moving this was already exhausting. You went to take a shower and went to bed early. As soon as your head touched the pillow, all the feelings hit you hard and you started to cry, trying hard not to make a sound so your friend wouldn't hear you. True to be told, you didn't love Jared anymore, but he was important and meaningful to you and you were hoping that it'd be the same for him when it came to you. You have the feeling that he was never really in love with you, but you thought that you were important to him somehow. But now it didn't seem like it. He not only slept with that woman the same day of your break up, but he allowed her to move in with him after you moved. It doesn't hurt that he moved on. It doesn't even hurt that is with her. It hurts that he's saying "I don't care, you're replaceable". Because that's the truth, for him, neither Valery nor you are irreplaceable. You are just a woman and he could always find a new one. After a long cry, you felt better. You needed to let those negative feelings leave your body and don't let them bother you anymore. You left him in the past for a reason. And you made a promise to Henry. "Henry!" you said and gasp. He called you as promised before going to bed, but it was the afternoon in LA and you were still in your ex's house and you just had found out about the woman living there so you were a little distracted when he called you. You told him you were fine, but he saw your face and notice that something was off but you continued to avoid talking about it. You grabbed your phone, that you hadn't touched in all day and after seeing notifications from twitter, due to a paparazzo that took photos of you moving your stuff from Jared's house and ignoring it, you went directly to read the messages. You had one from Henry that said " I don't know what happened to you today, but I know you were not feeling ok. You're not forced to tell me anything, but I want you to know that I'm always there to listen when you need, no matter the time, the phone is on if you need a call. I hope you feel better. Talk to you, tomorrow baby." Once again you had tears on your eyes, but this time were tears of joy. You smiled and open your gallery and saw a few selfies that you two took together, several pictures of him cooking for you, pictures of him and Kal and pictures of Kal and you. You grabbed your phone and decided to text him the truth. You apologized to him because you failed your promise, but you assured him that you felt much better now. You left your phone on the nightstand and closed your eyes to sleep. A few minutes went by and your phone started ringing and you saw that it was Henry. -Hi- you answered is a low tone - You should be sleeping. - I was - he replied and you notice by the sound of his voice that he was telling the truth- and I will be asleep again shortly, I just wanted to say that you're irreplaceable to me. You're not just another woman, you're special. You're extraordinary and I'm sorry if he failed to let you know that. You're incredible - he assured you. As he was saying this last words you heard him yawn. -Thanks, baby. Now, go back to sleep, we'll talk better tomorrow. - Ok. Sleep well!- he told you as you were pretty sure he fell asleep as soon as he finished saying those words. - You too, baby! - you replied and hung up.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Just Beyond the City

Genre: wlw urban fantasy

Summary: a young woman moves to a new city where she begins exploring fresh hiking trails, only to hear of something strange in the woods there. Something ancient and dark and that doesn’t belong.

The hiker starts seeing a witch in the woods and wandering closer and closer to whatever this malevolent presence is. A story in three parts.

PART ONE

I liked hiking. I liked it since I was a kid and my mom had to tighten the laces of my boots with both hands and my baseball cap flopped right over my eyes. I liked following her bright purple backpack up the trails with the sound of my shoes crunching on the rocky path. I liked slathering sunscreen on my arms in large creamy dollops. I liked pushing my body up and up and up and feeling those small complaints in my muscles telling me I was moving. I was here. I was living.

Most of all, I liked how inexplicable things were. My mom raised me by herself and I was not an easy kid. I often talked so quickly I bit my own tongue and then cried about it. I was well-liked, but if anyone even looked at me wrong I would come home in tears. I hated being apart from her and the school nurse would often call in the middle of the day saying I demanded her come pick me up. I asked a thousand questions wherever we went: why did the movie end like that? Why does that woman carry her dog that way? Why can’t I be wheeled around in a chair like that person?

I was overly curious. I was sensitive. I was over dramatic. I was clingy. Very few things made sense to me. The outdoors didn’t make sense either, but they did so in a way that was enchanting.

I liked the sounds of birds trilling to each other in a language I couldn’t possibly fathom. I liked the way the wind blew in directions I would never be able to follow. I liked how the trees knew things I never would and how the roots went in thousands of directions at once that I would never fully grasp.

In those mountains, in the trees and the dense forests, and in everything else, I was okay with not knowing.

When I was 26 I moved away from my trees and my mountains and my snow and I found myself on the outskirts of a sprawling metropolis. Normally, people move to LA to try and become starlets or script-writers or big-time directors. I had never dreamed of being an actress since I threw-up if too many people looked at me at once and definitely didn’t think I was pretty enough. I simply went because the Franklin Law Firm was the first one that offered me a position.

There were plenty of lawsuits in California, enough that even a small-town girl from Montana could find work right out of law school. It took their bar exam. I passed. I applied. It was a change.

The sky was piercingly blue and the air thick with smog and people all moving and chatting and absolutely littered everywhere. It reminded me of watching ants troop back and forth on their hills, making lines, and zig-zags, and following invisible cross-walks. Things were busy.

I felt it in my veins and through my head and just underneath my tongue, like a metallic aftertaste, as I drove through the slow-moving traffic. That “busy” was everywhere. The streets were sun-soaked and warm with thumping feet. The wind carried noises of dogs barking and music playing and life going on. I had to take deep breaths until I took a right and started driving away from the “busy.”

I was so grateful that instant for being a hiker. My mom had suggested it, she had always been my beacon to follow, and I took an apartment almost forty-five minutes away from my work on her advice. The commute wasn’t going to be fun.

However, it was worth it. Away from the thick smoggy crowds of buildings and youthful men in cut-off jean shorts and beautiful women in shirts that showed off their flat bellies. I passed residential neighborhoods with immigrant families and struggling playwrights and then up past gated communities with green cut lawns and paychecks that looked like lucky numbers on fortune cookies.

Finally, I passed right up toward a ridge outside the city. I would bite off my own tongue before I’d call it a mountain (as some people there did), but it was luckily a little bigger than a hill.

I exhaled as I got closer to the hiking trails and there were finally bigger gaps between the houses. I was so grateful I chose this over convenience. It was different of course, the bushes were dusty and barren, and the trees were squat and barely greened. But it was outside the business of the city.

I smiled at the trails as I pulled up to a grey apartment building with concrete balconies and four stories just below it. I got out of my little Nissan and peered up toward my new home. It would have to do. I got out the keys I had received earlier that day and found my way inside to the fourth floor.

It was a decent modern building with air-conditioning on high and big mirrors in the elevator with shiny metal panels on the sides. I found my way to my room where I opened it to find the same modern aesthetic with a sleek silver refrigerator and a simple metal bed frame left behind from the last tenants. I wondered around the boxy rooms each with one or two windows and bare floors. It had the feeling a bit of pre-packaged meals, neat, and tidy, and underwhelming, but it would do the trick.

I went back outside and started unpacking.

I heaving up boxes from the trunk of my car and it was only on my second trip up that I realized someone was watching me. He was outside on the sidewalk and stood perfectly still as I got out my next box. He had a strong jawline thick with stubble across his face and neck. I looked to either side of me to check that he was staring at me and not some other girl in a bikini standing behind me.

“Need some help there, new neighbor?” He finally called out with a wave. “Uh,” I fumbled with the box for a moment and tried to come up with an excuse to shake him off.

“Don’t worry.” He smiled. “Not a stalker. I just knew I’d be getting someone new across the hall from me. I was just checking to see if you needed anything.” “Uh,” I repeated again elegantly. I was definitely a lawyer. “Sure.” I said after a long pause. “Always nice to meet... neighbors.” He came over and helped me with another box. I wondered if the stranger danger alarms in my head should start going off at that point, but they never seemed to. He was wearing North face gear and smelled like the ocean and was relatively benign.

He just took a box and started chatting, “yeah, I can tell you about all the good restaurants you have to drive thirty-minutes to in order to reach from here.” “Ah,” I said as he slowly made our way back inside. “I thought it’d be pretty far away from things. Yeah.” “You come in for Hollywood?” He said with interest.

I just snorted. “Not even.” We talked about work and the price of gas and the area for another few minutes. His name was Doug and he had lived there for three years and was still a waiter/aspiring actor himself. He liked my leather bracelets.

“So,” I finally brought up what I really wanted to talk about. “How’s the hiking around here?” “Dunno.” Doug shrugged. “I wouldn’t go near the stuff nearby. Like I said, most good things are a thirty-minute drive at least.” I furrowed my brow and looked over my shoulder at him. “You don’t go up Timber Ridge? Online said it had some nice views.”

He looked away and waved a hand through the air. “Nah.”

“Why not?” I asked a little too hastily.

“I mean,” his eyes darted left and right. “Look, I’m not superstitious or anything, but...” “But?” I gave him a focused look.

He shrugged again, “I’ve heard some weird stuff about it.” His eyes darted back and forth, “weird even for this place I mean.” I made a face, “should I be worried about a serial killer on the loose?” One of my mom’s new favorite hobbies was reminding me about all the serial killers that came from California. “No. I mean like,” he placed my box down outside my new apartment door. His brow bent innards and he whispered slowly. “They’ve been finding... stuff.”

I bounced my eyebrows up and down, I tried not to smirk, “monster stuff?” “Bloody rags.” He said solemnly, “rocks with strange symbols, plants that shouldn’t be here, bones, and I dunno... bad vibes.” He cleared his voice and leaned forward so much so that the air hummed with his discomfort. “They say it’s a witch.” “A witch?” I tried not to laugh.

Doug sniffed, “just saying.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Though I’d rather be eaten by her than take the interstate 405 again.” He changed the subject back to complaining about traffic after that and I let him.

---------------------------

I didn’t see any witches the first time I went up Timber Ridge. I didn’t see much of anything actually. 

The path was dusty instead of crunchy, the bushes were low to the ground and mostly leaf-less and dry, the trees were tiny and hid nothing from the eye. If my tall forests back home were thick with greenery and secrets, LA nature was brittle and easy to digest.

There weren’t that many bird sounds, but even from that high up sometimes I still heard honking and sirens and voices from someone’s open window. I still wasn’t that far from the city.

I ached from sleeping on the floor in my sleeping bag because I hadn’t bought a new bed yet. I had also for some reason given Doug my number and he kept texting me-- which felt like a game of jeopardy I accidentally entered where I didn’t know any of the right answers. I was sore and not particularly impressed with my new living situation. I missed my mom. I missed my dog.

I missed my mountains.

I frowned at it all as I climbed. The path was long at least and for moments at a time dipped down far enough that the city itself disappeared. After an hour I finally climbed up far enough that I reached the top of the ridge and I did have to stand there in awe.

My mouth fell open gently and the weight in my chest shrunk to nothing. It was probably because it was dawn and there was always something selfless about dawn: it gave and it gave and it gave.

The sun shimmered in long pink and orange streaks behind me and just beyond the city was an expanse of ocean that ate up my vision. An ocean vast and smooth and heart-stoppingly creamy blue. I had gone to the ocean once when I was a kid, but it had been cold and unfriendly and the waves were too big. Now, it was the backdrop to something that made my eyes water.

I sniffled and wiped at my tears as they fell. It was probably because I missed my mom and my dog and hated my new city, but that didn’t stop me from wiping at my cheeks and tasting salt. I cried at that sunset on the first day.

Finally, I turned around and something flitted dark and swift in the corner of my vision. I jerked my head around and there was something on the ground. It was transparent and yet tangible, like clothe. Dark. It was something I could only call a “shadow” that lingered long and twisted across the ground. It seemed to dance across the path with no end for a long second. I looked up quickly to try and catch it’s source, but nothing but the small trees and dusty bushes remained.

“Hello?” I said, but nothing responded.

I touched my left elbow and turned around in tight circles. When I stopped I got one last look at it slipping away. There was a shadow staring back at me: hollow eyes and hollow mouth and a gaping frozen expression caught in some unknowable stomach-clenching emotion. I gasped lowly, took a step back, and when I blinked again it was gone.

I hurried away from that spot. I chalked up the strange vision to too much crying and not enough breakfast that morning.

I didn’t see a witch on the ridge that first day or at least or, at least, I didn’t think I did.

------------

part 2 coming soon! 

So all of my hours were cut at my job bc of coronavirus, if you enjoyed my writing please, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or becoming a patron I could really use the help!

[whateverthedragonswant]

and the rewatch continues

So rewatching most of season 5 and dipping into season 6, after coming from season 4, I found some things very interesting, things I actually had forgotten about and some that just hit differently now that the show has ended:

Season 4:

Brothers - different iterations: Had that finale happened after this season, it might have made better sense (though I STILL say the manner of Dean’s death is laughable)

Destiel & Cas: While Cas and Dean have some uncomfortable staring contests and there’s chemistry, I didn’t get the whole Destiel vibe (this is just my personal take), yes there’s a bond there, a growing partnership so to speak but I feel like Cas is not around enough for it to be in the forefront of the story or even to demand Dean’s attention in a way. Like Cas made his big entrance in 4x01 and we saw how things took off from there for the story and for this connection/bond between he and Dean but Dean is early season Dean and Cas is early season Cas. Though I found Cas’ interest in everything Dean Winchester to be intriguing (and he put Dean back together with his own hands, I just...this really does become the greatest love story ever told, I swear), I personally didn’t get the whole UST vibes that has been talked about. I actually found myself wanting to go deeper into Cas’ story (a la 6x20 style) aside from Dean’s and Sam’s. 

Anna: That whole night with Anna was purely that: a night. There wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between Jensen and Julie and it’s very clear that this whole sex-on-last-night-on-earth thing is for comfort, for both characters. I kind of get why they switched up gears there for Dean’s angel role, even if they didn’t intend for Destiel to read as romantic at all initially. 4x09 & especially 4x10 were so obviously trying to ying and yang the brothers and the sides that had chosen them/complemented them: Anna | Ruby, Heaven | Hell -> eventually Michael | Lucifer. But back to Anna, while I enjoyed her character and would have loved to delve deeper with her, I am glad Cas was the one who got to stay. Anna and Dean had no chemistry, outside of a couple of glances before the big hookup/last night on Earth deal, there wasn’t really anything there. Tbf, they didn’t have a lot of private time before that, except maybe one convo. To me, in this scenario, Anna was a source of comfort (after she tells Dean he needs to forgive himself for what happened in Hell which I very much appreciated, someone had to tell him that) and attraction, letting her have her last night on Earth, a hookup, etc. But there was nothing deeper there. And for this bond with an angel to happen, there needed to be something deeper there. Perhaps had Anna been around longer and didn’t go the way she did in season 5, it might have but I honestly tend to doubt it. We all know Cas and Dean’s (Misha’s and Jensen’s) natural chemistry is off the charts. I’m not sure Anna (Julie) could have competed with that had both Cas and Anna stuck around together. I know I’m completely biased here, but I almost felt like Anna and Cas had more chemistry together, it might have been because they got more face time, I’m not sure. But I thoroughly enjoyed watching it all go down again.

Adam: Omg I forgot about how Adam wasn’t Adam when Dean and Sam first met him. That was heartbreaking on so many levels, but mostly for Adam and his mom dying the way they did and of course, for Dean and Sam. Namely Dean because he was the most affected by finding out about Adam��s existence. And I swear I fell in love with Dean more in that episode as a character because despite his pain, his anger, his hurt, he still tries to do the right thing by Adam, to honor his dad’s wishes. And John...that mf’er doesn’t deserve any of those boys as his sons. What an asshole through and through. 

Season 5:

Destiel & Cas: And now we see Cas becoming a bit more forefront and the vibe has changed...slightly. Now it’s a partnership turning into a friendship. Dean and Cas get a bit more face time and it shows. 5x03 was awesome and of course the wholly unnecessary line of “One, Bert and Ernie are gay” -- like where did that come from? I still loved it. It was tough to see Dean and Sam go their separate ways in the beginning but we still got some gold out of it with 5x03 and 5x04. And thankfully, we get more into not only more of the angel and apocalypse lore this season, but we also get to see how Cas’ relationship with the Winchesters is changing and more of what makes Cas tick as a character in his own right. And of course, bamf!Cas was very present. 

Brothers: Once again, had that finale happened after this season, it might have made more sense (sans the junk death) - because it’s very obvious that the co-dependency is alive and well here and it would have made more sense for their characters - while they have others outside of the two of them they are caring about (Bobby, Ellen, Jo just to name a few), it’s still the exclusive Winchester-only club. I truly enjoyed watching these two working together and moving towards the season finale. Dean’s memory of Sam and the fireworks, Dean talking about how Sam’s best memories weren’t the same as his (shocker, John Winchester is a d-bag, I’ll keep saying it), Dean struggling to make the decision to say yes to Michael, having to agree with the plan for Sam to say yes to Lucifer to try to trap the latter, Dean showing up to the cemetery -- all of it was incredible and the two of them were the beating heart of the show at that point. 5x22 will always be one of my favorite season finales for that show. It was pure awesomeness, truly epic and perfect.

Dean: holy hell, they really, really threw a lot into Dean this season - not that they hadn’t before, but damn. Each season just amps up the Dean game, just like I remember, and I am happily here for it again. No offense to Sam at all, but Dean is just so complex, so complicated yet straightforward, and there’s so many layers to him that they just keep peeling back and they feed us well each season. I swear, if you turned the sound off and just watched that scene where Dean tells Zachariah to call Michael, where Dean and Sam go their separate ways, you would know exactly everything Dean is feeling and thinking thanks to the incredible talent of one Mr. Jensen Ackles. Just really incredible. How this man never got nominated for an Emmy at any point for this show just astounds me. Yes, I know that show wasn’t considered a contender for that type of award run, but dammmnnnn. He deserves it and more. Watching this season and season 4 really brought back the original reasons I fell in love with Dean as a character in the first place. One of the best characters ever, I’m telling you. And may I just say, I hated that they brought back John’s leather jacket for him in the season finale but I get it, it was Kripke’s swan song (did I just do that? I believe I did) so we of course went back to core Winchester things, not just in story but every element. I’m ngl, I was so glad to see Dean shed it though when he is sitting down to dinner with Lisa and Ben.

Apocalypse: I thoroughly enjoyed this whole plot line - this really was high stakes, more than ever before, and though angels were dicks, there was Lucifer of course and a mysterious though mostly absent God behind the curtain - you just never knew what was going to be thrown at you next, just like the boys were going through.

Heaven/Mary: even though this definitely has to do with Dean more so, I did enjoy them seeing Ash and Pam, Ash’s setup, and of course Mary being there, seeing how such a good memory could be manipulated by the dick angels and the horrible things Mary said to Dean. Of course, I felt for Dean but it was interesting to see that whole scene play out. Plus we got even more confirmation of what we’ve known all along: John is a bonafide asshole and Dean really did experience facets of spousification, even before Mary died (which just makes me so sad for him, I swear if they don’t put a Cas vs John scene in the reboot... because you know Cas will win that thumb war)

Meg: ngl, I wasn’t really crazy about this iteration of Meg - I don’t mean Rachel Miner’s version, just this particular performance, which I chalk up to whoever decided they wanted her to go this route in her performance - I couldn’t believe it was the same character, the same actress - I am so glad the show/Rachel developed the character we all love to hate and secretly really love to how she was in later seasons

Jo: omg Jo. I have to admit, in season 2, in the first episode she showed up in, I despised her. She was like that bratty teenage kid who’s a real pain in the ass and whines and doesn’t get it. But after that episode, I grew to love her with each one she was in. She became a bamf in her own right and I loved seeing that come through this season especially. Her death was horrific (what is it with this show killing off bamf female hunters in such a gruesome way? it brought back horrible Eileen flashbacks for me personally, and for them to turn Meg and Ketch into somewhat redeemable characters after that... you know, I swear...) but heroic and I had never been more proud of my girl. Except the scene with Dean in the kitchen. As much as I love my chaotic hunter son, I was glad to see Jo flip him off in the way she did. So proud. And then her goodbye with Dean, I had forgotten exactly what he did so I was going “omg, she just saved you, Dean, this girl has feelings for you, she deserves at least a kiss, kiss her. right. the fuck. now!” and sure enough, he did, on the forehead, which I was like okay, well I get it, he doesn’t return those feelings but he does care about her but dammit, she deserved for him to plant one on her. and then he did and I was just gone, I was a complete bawling mess. And her goodbye scene with Ellen, and then her death along with Ellen’s sacrificing herself to stay by Jo’s side and give the boys a chance to get out of there...yeah, I didn’t stop crying for about five minutes. I cannot tell you how much I miss those characters and I would have sold someone else’s right arm to make their return in the series finale happen. Besides the obvious characters that should have been present, Ellen, Jo, and Ash deserved to be there (just not Samantha and Chad, if we can get a “Cas helped” for the third major character/lead, we can also get a “Ellen and Jo went to assist in setting up the honeymoon suite above the roadhouse - I said what I said).

John: usually, I cannot abide giving any time to this jerk, never mind talking about him, but I have to say I enjoyed seeing pre-loss John in 5x13. That conversation he has with Sam I think is so glaringly important. I know it was for Sam to forgive John and heal, but the fact that John himself is saying “how could he do that to you? he was supposed to protect you” -- yep, that was pure poetic cinema in my eyes. Because pre-loss John is right, how dare post-loss John do that to his boys? There’s no excuse anyone or this show can give him. As much as I love JDM, post-loss John Winchester will never be okay in my book.

Adam: omg Adam. First of all, I loved his dynamic with Sam and Dean. I really, really wish we could have had him around longer just for that alone. What an awesome character we could have had giving Dean and Sam a run for their money. “Well, we’re working on the power of love.” “How’s that going?” “Not so great.” -- give me an episode of the three brothers on a milk run hunt (sans generic mask-wearing vampmimes) with all of the fixings and I swear we would get done!Sam, consistently being roasted between Dean and Adam, and then Dean thinking he’s got a mutual now, a BFF, and Adam turning right around to roast him as well. It would be epic, I tell you, epic. I wish Adam had gotten a better end, this season and at the end of the series. He certainly deserved better. And this may be a random observation but why did Michael take Adam at all? I know the countdown had begun and he was desperate to grab a vessel so he could fight Lucifer at the appointed time and Dean was not giving in (that he knew of), but what chance of victory did he think he had without using his true vessel? Using that logic, I guess Michael’s end in the series makes more sense now...? Who knows.

Chuck: Swan Song (5x22) and the lines, “Endings are hard. Any chapped ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There’s always gonna be holes. And since it’s the ending, it’s all supposed to add up to something. I’m telling you, they’re a raging pain in the ass“ -- did anyone else feel like that was Kripke speaking or is it just me?

Season 6:

the whole Lisa thing: while it was nice to see Dean go domestic, I have to say I was more invested in Dean and Ben’s relationship development than I was with Dean and Lisa’s. The chemistry just wasn’t there, I have to be honest (he and Anna actually had more chemistry for a few minutes than he did with Lisa this whole season). I don’t doubt they loved each other, it was real, and Lisa was good for him at the time but it just didn’t have that spark. I loved Lisa as a character in her own right, but I was happy to see her and Dean eventually go their separate ways. Though my heart broke for Ben on that one. He and Dean really had a whole father-son bond happening there. I appreciated that when Ben called him, even that one time that nothing was really wrong, Dean dropped everything and headed right over. They had a bond of their own happening outside of Dean and Lisa’s. I think Dean ultimately made the right choice in the end to keep Lisa and Ben safe (though they should have been able to choose if they wanted this), but God did that cost him and we see it in that scene outside of the hospital with Sam. How much that hurt for him, and for us to see how it killed him to do it. I’m still grateful that he got to see what the domestic life was like and that he got a reprieve from hunting for a bit. It made complete sense as to why Cas didn’t want to pull him back in to ask for help with Raphael.

Destiel: Welp, now there’s definitely an emotional relationship happening. Meaning the bond has become even more forefront and not only is Dean affected, but we also see that Cas is, too. Dean’s reaction to finding out Cas was working with Crowley the whole time, Cas’ reaction to Dean choosing to save the two boys instead of focusing on finding Eve, Cas’ reaction to Dean’s stance on the Crowley situation, Dean’s finding out Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, Cas asking Dean to trust him, Dean seeing Cas becoming the new God and needing to summon Death, etc. It was fantastic. While it hurt during some moments, I enjoyed seeing the dynamics and reactions to these situations play out. This is definitely a friendship now, a family relationship formed (and still forming) like Dean says in 6x20. Imho, Jensen and Misha knocked it out of the park this season when it came to that relationship. I loved it.

Cas: holy hell, 6x20 has become one of my all-time favorite episodes of SPN. I loved seeing Cas’ POV. Cas was already a fave character of mine but this episode made me fall in love with him all over again. This was incredible and I’m so thankful they fed us so well with this one. I really enjoyed seeing Cas as a character stepping into the forefront, right there with Dean and Sam. Yes, he was a part of TFW before this, but you have to admit that in this season, it becomes a whole new ball game. Really amazing stuff and of course, Misha slayed it all.

Meg & Megstiel: I was so happy to see the iteration of Meg return that we know from later seasons. Maybe I’m just too used to that version but to me this felt more effortless for the character and for Rachel, that really let both shine. Personally, I’m not a Megstiel shipper. While I love their dynamic, it just isn’t there for me, but I really did enjoy their scenes together. Cas felt as if he needed a little shaking up so to speak so I think she was perfect for that. Plus, I have a hard time forgiving those in the show that sic Hellhounds on my bamf female hunters so that might be partially the reason for my bias, just saying. (I never really forgave Ketch either)

Samuel...& Co: I just...why? Don’t get me wrong, I liked Mitch but this felt a bit...I don’t know...off? Other than some place for Soulless!Sam to go while Dean was playing house and for nabbing Alphas for Crowley, I don’t get what the point of this story line was? Was it to show us that Mary’s dad was a d-bag? Check. Was it to show us how people sometimes make the worst decisions when it comes to their family? Double check. Like, we kind of already got that and it was just unnecessary confirmation if that makes sense. And the thing that kills me is that Samuel was in Hell (or goes to Hell, I kind of did other things in the background during that arc) but he loved his daughter enough to betray her sons and do the wrong thing but John gets to go to Heaven? This still confounds me. Though I enjoyed Gwen and it was a shame she couldn’t be a family contact in another state for the boys later on to pop up every now and then.

Soulless!Sam: I enjoyed this part of Sam’s arc but I won’t lie, I was relieved like everyone else when he finally got his soul back though waited with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. But it was interesting to see this side of Sam.

Dad!Dean: I know I mentioned Dean and Ben above, but that one episode with the shifter!baby, that was priceless and God, did I love it.

I just loved going back to this for both boys

[jawnjendes]

bonus: why is their luck in a deeply sad moment? | shawn mendes

some type of au idk man, shawn x goth ex gf

WARNING: there is talk of death and suicide in this chapter. read at your own risk.

AN: i cant squeeze this into the next big fic nor can i fit it into shawn meets bc everyone hated it so its a bonus in the gg story lmao also im starying the Next Big Fic in a few days :)

masterlist | annalise’s playlist

2026.

"Sometimes I think about the what ifs,"  Ann said, “but I like where I am. I like what I’ve made for myself.”

Shawn had to invite her over to his house a second time, because the first time left him with many questions unanswered. He couldn’t be mad at what she said, though. He was in the same boat; he liked the life he made. You know, without the crushing loss and run in with the supernatural.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” he told her, and he really meant it. “I’m glad we were able to successfully do our own things straight after breaking up.”

“Nothing like filling the void in your heart with work!” Ann replied with a giggle. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear, and that’s when Shawn noticed something.

He took her hand and noticed a tattoo on the side of her middle finger: The Triforce.

“You got inked?” he asked, impressed.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” she replied, grabbing her sleeve to roll it up.

There was a sword on her inner arm. It was varying in shades of blue, and it also had the Triforce on it. Shawn recognized it as the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda games.

“All this is is proof that I’m a nerd,” Ann said as she rolled her sleeve back down. “I notice you have some more ink also… and that you still wear shirts half buttoned.” She pointed to his chest.

Her finger poked the exposed skin. It shouldn’t have been as tingly as it was. Shawn smiled and placed his hand over his chest.

“More than just that,” he told her. “But I can’t show you all of them.”

Maybe it was a little risky to say that. Shawn would have taken it back if Ann’s cheeks hadn’t gone a shade of pink.

“I could say the same thing…”

Shawn quickly came to learn just how many tattoos Ann had gotten over the years. A snake and tombstones on her other arm. Feather on her collarbone, roses on her shoulder. A quote reading, “...but I’m not anymore” with stars around it on her ribcage. Something on her wrist that Shawn didn’t catch because he was busy pressing his lips to her hips and taking off her pants, where he found another tattoo. “Lucky you.” He certainly felt it.

Everything about their time together was so familiar, so easy and almost home-like. Ann’s skin touching his. Her lips perfectly molding over his. The quiet, needy gasps they both released into the bedroom. It was like going back in time, and they were in Shawn’s Toronto apartment instead of his multimillion dollar condo in LA. It was soft and slow, despite Shawn pinning Ann’s arms above her head. He didn’t outgrow that particular move, and she still seemed to like it.

Shawn had never been happier to have been on a break more than now. Most one night stands in the past began and ended very quickly, because he was on tour or in between interviews or on a break for one day. This was one person that he didn’t want to leave behind. They lied down, sweaty and dazed, facing each other. It was silent, but not awkward. Everything had a nice haze around it.

That was also when Shawn finally made out what the tattoo on Ann’s wrist was. He picked his head up in confusion.

“Is… are those torches?” he asked. “Upside down? Just like mine… and are those my initials?”

It was simple line art, less intricate than his own. Torches in an X, with “SM” right below them. Shawn has been floored many times, and this was no exception.

Ann picked her head up as well. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Shawn looked down at his chest, his torches were exactly the same, sans the initials. He wanted to give Ann the benefit of the doubt, that this wasn’t some creepy fangirl thing. Some of his one night stands ended up like that, and it wasn’t exactly easy to forget.

“It’s for a friend of mine,” Ann explained, sitting up and covering her front with the blanket. She took note of the look on Shawn’s face. “Keeping someone’s light on beyond death, remember? I assume yours is for someone too.”

They were both sitting up now, and Shawn relaxed. However, he only relaxed a little bit because now it was time to get deep.

“Mine’s for Brian. He died last year.”

Ann’s face fell. “No. Brian, your best friend? Brian, the one who constantly took the piss outta me?”

He nodded. “He was… there was an accident. Flight of stairs. Instantly killed.” It was all lies, but no human would understand.

A hand went over his, squeezing. “I’m so sorry. He just, he just fell down some stairs?”

“A lot of stairs. I don’t know I guess he was running or something. There was no way to save him. People in the house heard the crash, but by the time they found him - when I found him - it was too late.” He had told this version many times, enough times to where he could almost believe it himself.

“Fuck, man. That’s… that’s fucking terrible,” Ann said sympathetically. “But I seriously can’t believe you just told me that.”

“Why?”

“Because now I have to tell you that mine is for Stella. Those are her initials.”

Stella Martinez. Now Shawn felt a little stupid… but surprised, and he was met with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t believe it for a second, but it fully processed in his head, and his heart began to break.

“Stella from college? Stella, who was your literal opposite and also your best friend?”

Ann solemnly nodded. Then she looked down. “She… she killed herself.”

Shawn was stunned into silence, the tightness in his chest only intensifying. The entire time he knew Stella, she was always so positive and bubbly. She was the opposite of suicidal. That’s why it was such a shock… and so sad. Oh god, who was going to tell Camila?

“When did Brian go to the other side?” Ann asked after a moment.

“A year ago last month,” Shawn replied. “And Stella?”

Ann raised an eyebrow. “Two years ago last month...”

It was a strange coincidence, but still upsetting. Both Shawn and Ann lost their best friends at the same time of the year. The urge to spill everything was thick in the air. Still, neither of them said anything for a while.

Instead, Ann reached down to the floor to pick up her clothes. Shawn’s eyes were stuck on her and that was when he spotted another word on her back. Nightmare. Small font, right shoulder blade, surrounded by a cluster of skulls. Then, he realized what she was doing.

“Are you leaving?”

She looked up, bra in hand. She was quiet as she put it back on.

“No. No, I’m not going anywhere.”

And she crawled back into bed. She made the point to keep a distance from Shawn, who was still naked. He was on his side, looking at the woman before him. Only Ann could have sex with him and bring up the subject of death. That brought a new point to mind.

“How do you enjoy death?” he asked. “I think I’ve asked you this before, but after losing someone and attending their funeral, I’m having a hard time understanding your perspective.”

Ann took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t enjoy the act of dying. People die every day in horrible ways. People mourn and fall into depression because of death. That’s not something to enjoy.”

“So what’s your deal with it?”

“I’m just embracing the face that it’s inevitable. I do that for myself. I will die eventually, or tomorrow-”

Shawn made a face; he didn’t like that thought.

“It doesn’t make it any easier when someone I know goes,” Ann continued. “You’d think with all the research I’ve done it would be. The ones we love leave this mortal plane, and all they leave is their absence. And that alone is a lot to process.”

“What’s the hardest part?”

“The what if’s.”

Shawn asked because he really wanted to know more about what happened to Stella. He had to know the things that led up to the tragedy, mostly because he knew Camila would ask for details, even if they were hard to hear.

He figured he should spill his side first.

“The last thing I said to Brian was to get the hell out of my room,” he began. “We were fighting, fighting over something so fucking stupid, and I was so pissed at him. That was our last interaction. He fell down the stairs because he was trying to find me in this big huge mansion…”

Ann sat up a little bit, hand over her chest. “Here?”

“Oh no, not here. I was staying at a friend’s house in London for a work thing. Place was huge, easy to get lost in,” Shawn clarified. “Brian, Andrew, all of them were leaving back to Toronto and I didn’t want to go just yet. Part of it was because I was still pissed. Maybe if I had run into him first before he fell… If I hadn’t kicked him out of my room a few nights prior… If I was less of an asshole…”

“Maybe you would have slipped on the stairs,” Ann told him. “Maybe you guys would have had an even bigger argument later that would have ended your friendship. There’s no way to tell, and sometimes that’s what sucks the most.”

Huh. Most people tell him not to dwell on it. No wonder Ann was a shrink now.

“Losing someone is one of the hardest things we, as humans, have to face,” she said. “It’s not easy in the slightest. Besides, the grieving period takes about three to five years, so you - we - are still in the beginning stages of it. Thinking about the what ifs, what you want to change, what you wish you could say to Brian - all of that is normal.”

The two of them let those words settle for a moment. Shawn’s eyes were a little misty, and redirecting the topic was probably not going to help. But he laid his stuff out on the table.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Your what ifs?”

Ann paused, looking around the room. “What if I had put my Master’s to use and noticed the goddamn signs?”

Shawn watched her, hoping she would at least return the eye contact.

“I’m an expert in this shit,” she said. “I have the years of school, the degrees, and the licenses for detecting things like this. I only figured it out the moment her dad called me.”

“How do you detect when someone is suicidal?”

“In her case, she was elated. When someone makes that decision, they reach a state of euphoria because they know their pain is about to end.”

“But Stella was always-”

“Believe me, I know. I hadn’t talked to her since graduating in Toronto, so I thought she hadn’t changed at all. But I would see on her social media, she just moved back to her parents’ house in Florida, and she hinted that she wasn’t happy about it.”

As if Shawn couldn’t take another blow. Come to think of it, he never heard much about Stella’s home life. He didn’t even think that it could be a negative place for her.

“I was in Jacksonville for work,” Ann continued, “so I hit her up, and we met up for lunch. We talked for about an hour, and she said that I was always a good friend and college wife and that she’ll always love me. And my stone hearted ass just said ‘cool, you don’t suck’ and that was that. A month later, she’s as blue as the pills she took.”

“Ooo…” Shawn sighed, cringing at that mental image. Sweet, warm hearted Stella cold and lifeless. Call it morbid, awful thinking, but Shawn wished Brian looked like that in death instead of the bloody mess he turned out to be.

“Yeah. And her parents had her embalmed and put in an airtight casket, but that’s a whole other rant.” Ann waved it off and lied back down.

Shawn didn’t know what else to do except lie down as well. While sharing the stories of how their friends died, he couldn’t help but feel just a little bit closer to Ann. The first time they met, it took fighting tooth and nail to get her to open up. Now, Shawn felt okay silently reached for her hand, and tenderly holding it in his.

Both of them winded up at the same awards show. Both lost their best friends. Both got the same type of tattoo to honor them. Neither of them anticipated meeting again. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @calyumthomas @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss @peruvian-bae @theprivatewritings

[chuckling-chemist]

Chapter ???

(I have become a slave to my own creative whims on this stupid crossover and need to scream into the void so just take this draft since it’s more comprehensible and easier to skip than a fuckload of bullet points. Look, I have a general plot now and its taking a real shape and I’m so mad)

Luxord (well, that’s what he was still intent on calling himself. Much like Xigbar he grew too attached to the name) sat himself down at the nearest plush blue barstool in the jazz lounge, card fiddling between his two fingers. How long had it been since he’d felt like this? He’d been a Nobody for so long, playing his part to a faceless master, watching the eternal servant to the Master of Masters...for how long? Don’t get Luxord wrong, there was a visceral enjoyment to running around Castle Oblivion while Xigbar continued to be none the wiser, but it felt good just to enjoy a gin and juice without dealing with muted emotions.

And, he reminded himself, no more bulky overcoat to keep himself safe from corruption. He had the choice to blend into his actual environment. Or, more likely, fit his aesthetic. Maroon sport jacket and tie, straight out of someone’s fantasy of Las Vegas. Something perfect for sitting in a lounge featuring a live band filled with people pointedly not infected with malaria, playing an actual jazz song. Couldn’t get that luxury back with those pirates, much as that world was his go-to in those days.

Then again, the drinks were cheaper. And, unlike now, he actually knew the generalities of Xigbar’s plan. If that black box didn’t contain whatever was left to return Xigbar’s master, it was at best a clever ruse to keep the other pieces of Xehanort busy while Xigbar put together the pieces to bring his true master back.

Well, you can’t win them all.

“Pretty abnormal to see a Brit come in here. They generally keep to the more touristy places up in the red light district,” the bartender said pleasantly. She was a pleasant looking woman, long dark hair braided down her back and large, round glasses behind brown eyes. Wearing an apron over what looked like a pantsuit.

Another boon: the bartenders are much cleaner now.

“Then again, nothing’s quite returned to normal yet after the whole Phantom Thief fiasco.”

Luxord raised an eyebrow suspiciously. He was a gambling man, after all. Kept his cards close. This was no exception. Phantom Thieves were not something that casually popped up. If nothing else, it was worth the inquiry. 

His gaze swooped the lounge. In the back corner, secluded to themselves sat a young androgynous person in a dark blue cap and peacoat, so quiet as they tapped away on a laptop they might just disappear into the hazy blue of the wall had it not been for the singular empty glass on their table. Two patrons, a young stern woman with silver hair and an old man in a fedora, debated philosophy over a table littered in drinks. Two others, obviously tourists if their pallor skin indicated anything, in dark sunglasses played billiards. An empty lounge, mostly. Thank God for off days, or else he’d worry about Xigbar having ears somewhere. He shifted in his seat, letting him lean closer on the dark wood of the bar and asked, “Phantom Thief fiasco?” 

“Did you not hear about it? A whole string of high profile celebrities and politicians, all confessing to various crimes because of some seventeen year old kid thinking he was changing the world. And, on top of that, this is the same kid who our former prime minister claimed assaulted him! A scrawny high schooler, calling himself a Phantom Thief! Can you believe?” She shook her head, holding back a laugh. 

“And it made national news?” Luxord asked doubtfully. 

Truth be told, in all the iterations of Japan he’s visited over the years - both in his stay with Organization XIII and before - he hasn’t been to this specific iteration for longer than his memory can adequately say. But matters like that he struggled to imagine the government wanting such a controversy getting out of its borders. 

“Eh, you know how it goes. Kids on the internet go crazy for that anti-capitalism, vigilante rogue bullshit. Guess we’re lucky the Americans were still flipping out over some gorilla or else Twitter would’ve been an absolute nightmare that year.”

He flashed the bartender a smile, the kind that indicated he appreciated the conversation, but he also had a drink to attend to. “Quite.”

The song shifted from whatever upbeat tune they were playing to something more somber. The old man in the fedora was up at the bar now, asking for two more cocktails and giving a bit of trivia at the same time.

He took another sip of his gin, running through what he knew once more. First, Xigbar was not Xigbar. Luxord knew that from the start. No one pulls two Keyblade wielders, Dandelions no less, from the first war as Nobodies and manages to strip them of their memory of such without knowledge of such. He’s lucky Xehanort was apparently a bigger fool than Luxord initially took him for, or else that would’ve tipped him off right away. But, unlike Xehanort or Xigbar, Luxord never moved until he knew he had a good deal.

Second, while Xigbar likely had the box, and acquisition of said box wasn’t great news for Luxord, Xigbar would not ever be able to find the Book of Prophecies. Xigbar, Luxu, he was smart after all. He’d know the best place to hide something is right under the searcher’s nose, and would know it would be somewhere in Radiant Garden. But while he was focused on kissing Xehanort’s ass, he never once thought to check someone. And taking a book from a child, the one remaining totem of his home before Radiant Garden? From the good master’s ward, no less? Why, such would get him thrown out of the castle immediately.

(There were moments Luxord worried Xigbar knew who exactly carried around the Book of Prophecies like his lifeline around the castle, and grew concerned the reason why Xemnas was so willing to consider a teenager as his second in command was Xigbar’s own meddling. But, if such were the case, he likely would have done more to stop Saix and Axel’s Castle Oblivion Massacre. His long con worked out in the end albeit in an unexpected fashion: illusions work well for hiding what you’re holding.)

Third, and most worryingly of all, the damn Foretellers were back. Theoretically, this was a point directly in Xigbar’s court. He was a Foreteller after all, albeit not the leading Foreteller. And all of the Foretellers worked directly for their master. However, in the past, the Foretellers have been incapable of working together the second hardship arises. If fortune fell in his favor, history would merely repeat itself. If it didn’t, it could be tricky.

He finished his drink. If there was any time to check how his deck was stacked, now was as good a time as any.

He swooped the card into the sleeve of his jacket, exchanging it for a different card from a different deck and letting it drop onto the table.

The Fool. 

He swooped up the card and planted it back into his sleeve. In any other world, he’d blow it off and draw again. For matters like this, drawing the Fool meant literally anything. The beginning of a journey, with roads and challenges yet uncovered. A non-answer and a sign his tarot cards had enough of his shit for the day. But he wasn’t in any other world. He was in a world ruled by cruel gods and the humans that chose to surmount them. In a jazz lounge where all the walls looked to be the same dreamlike, hazy blue. No, this was a person.

A thief, if his intuition had anything to say about it.

“Ma’am, one more question. If you will.”

The bartender strolled over with an inquisitive look and grabbed his drink, topping off the gin and juice. 

Funny enough, Luxord used to hate gin. He acquired a taste for it, spending days at a time in Port Royal, downing gin and tonics to keep the mosquitos (and the malaria, fuck that malaria) away.

“The supposed Phantom Thief high schooler. Do you know their name?”

The bartender frowned. “Can’t say I recall it, no. His lawyer fought hard to keep it out of the press. But if you want to talk to her, she’s right over there.” She pointed behind him, back to the table where the heated debate sounded like bickering. “Nijima. Absolute beast in the courtroom. Can’t believe she turned to defense.”

“And the man with her?”

“Sakura. He runs a tiny hole in the wall coffee shop down the way. Leblanc, I think? Named after a French painter, I think. Been there once or twice, but coffee’s not really my thing, you know?” She shrugged helplessly. “Anyway, they’ve come in together every now and then and end up arguing politics every time. You think he’s trying to get with her? Cause that’s what I’ve been thinking.”

Luxord fought back the urge to snort. He was too dignified for that. “Not the way they’re arguing. You said she was a defense attorney, yes? Probably just helping her blow off steam.”

“Eh, I think if he wanted to do that, he’d make her free coffee. I don’t know much about Sakura, but he pours a damn good cup of coffee.”

“Hm.” He pulled out his card from before and threaded it between his fingers. Old habits die hard, after all, and cards were an ancient habit of his. “Do you think he plays cards?”

She rolled her eyes. “Hell if I know. You’ll have to go to Leblanc yourself and ask him yourself.”

Approaching someone like Nijima for the name of a particular Phantom Thief wouldn’t yield results. Not if she was unwilling to name him for the media firestorm. However, if she’s getting drunk on the regular with this Sakura man, he might know. Might even tell Luxord, if he’s lucky. “I think I will, thank you.”

The bartender grinned. “No problem! Hope you enjoy your game!”

He grinned. The game was on. “I believe I will.”

[headoverjojo]

Mmm... I draw a Stand the other day and I was wondering: La Squadra/DIU (You choose) with a S/o who's Stand just creeps the hell out of them by accident? Like, is inteligent and curious, looking what you doing, etc, and is harmless unless they are on missions/fighting, but comes out when S/o's sleeping?

Hello helloooooo!! Oooh but now I’d like to see the staaaand, you can’t leave me with such a curiosity :cccc And thank you for the request, I loved to write it!! I chose the DIU gang, as I never wrote for them all together, I hope it’s fine! Here we go :3

Beautiful Duwang’s s/o’s stand creeps the hell out of them by accident

(Under the cut for length!)

Josuke Higashikata

Josuke’s Crazy Diamond is just a little independent from his user, but mostly reflects just Josuke’s intentions and fighting spirit, without thinking much on its own. He never saw a more independent stand, he’s fascinated by it! He sees that his s/o’s stand is curious, when they call it out, it roams around, sometimes it jumps on his shoulders -but never on his hair, as even the stand feels that it wouldn’t be safe to do so-, piercing on it and observing what he’s doing, rubbing from time to time on his cheek, making him chuckle. It’s such a cute and harmless stand!

This until he finds out in the worst possible way that his s/o’s stand comes out also when they sleep. They were at his house, Tomoko was out. They were on the couch, taking a nap, while Josuke was playing a video-game, to kill time while they slept, when he heard a sound, a strange one. A scraping sound, like an animal which was trying to come inside. Josuke, who, since that bizarre summer in 1999, was always ready to face new possibly dangerous stand users, immediately stopped the game, listening intently at the sound, slowly getting up. After calling out Crazy Diamond, who was watching around carefully, Josuke started his patrol, trying to find the source of the sound.

Even if he looked in every corner, he found nothing. But the sound was going on and on, repetitive, obsessive… he was going crazy. Where the hell was that animal, stand or whatever?! He tried even to detect it with Crazy Diamond, but nothing. And, when at a certain point he felt observed, he really felt his legs wobbly and weak. This was horrible, a sort of Kira all again… Finally, his s/o woke up and Josuke was immediately on them, speaking fast and panicked. His s/o had to calm him down, before making him repeat everything again. They frowned, hearing it: moved objects, strange sounds… they have some suspicions. After calling out their stand and seeing the guilty face it was making, they understood immediately: it was their fault!! Josuke didn’t know if he was feeling more ashamed or relieved, knowing it. In the end, he opted for relief, while cuddling his s/o’s stand, recommending not to something like this again, in future. It really scared him!!

Okuyasu Nijimura

His The Hand is definitely not an independent, curious or intelligent stand, as it just reflects his user’s actions and intentions. Okuyasu is pretty fascinated by other stands in general and by his s/o’s one in particular! It seems to have grown fond on Okuyasu, as it always sneaks in his arms or on his shoulders, observing what it does, even making some simple questions, always curious, always observant. Okuyasu likes their stand so much! And it’s so sweet, unless they’re fighting. In that case, it becomes a beast and he’s relieved, all in all: his precious s/o isn’t defenseless!

Since their parents were out of the city and they didn’t like to sleep alone, they decided to stay at Okuyasu’s place for the couple of days their parents would have been far. While they were soundly sleeping in a warm cuddle pile, something startled Okuyasu awake. It was a rustling sound, as someone was heavily shifting… he got up, yawning, thinking it was his dad who was wandering again in the house searching for the bathroom or a glass of water. He exited the room, ready both to accompany his dad to the bathroom or to go to pick for him a glass of water, but, when he checked, he saw that his dad was quietly sleeping in his usual room. He frowned, perplexed, before hearing again that strange sound. If it wasn’t his dad, then… who or what it was? He shifted immediately into fighting mode, calling out also The Hand, ready to face whatever was hiding in his house.

He searched and searched, finding nothing; still, the sound was going on, it seemed to chase him, he felt observed. He hated it, it was creeping him out, he felt in danger in his own house. When he didn’t find anything even after the third patrol, he decided to wake his s/o up, to warn them and keep them close. When he did so, however, the sound suddenly stopped and, after few seconds, when his s/o was still rubbing their eyes, their stand rolled in the room and, when it stopped on its paws, it emitted that rustling sound it creeped Okuyasu out so much. He sighed in utter relief, finally finding out that the “intruder” wasn’t anything else than his s/o’s stand. Better so than something else! Still, while he cuddles both his s/o and their stand, he tells the stand not to do it again, to stay with them, if it comes out while they both are asleep, or soon or later it will give Okuyasu a heart attack!

Koichi Hirose

Koichi’s Echoes Act 3 is basically an independent stand. Echoes thinks, speaks and even curses on his own, following his user’s orders, of course, but with a consciousness. So, he’s not to surprised by his s/o’s independent stand; he’s happy about it, another one that is like his Echoes! Sometimes he calls out Echoes just to see it and his s/o’s stand interact, observing with them, interested, as their stands chat and even joke. It’s a new, uncommon experience!

One day, they both decided to have a sleepover night at their house. It had been a nice evening and, after bidding goodbye to Josuke and Okuyasu, who had joined them for a big friend dinner, they went to sleep. In the middle of the night, Koichi woke up, feeling the hair on his nape rising up in a way he learned to associate to danger. He checked his s/o, relaxing when he saw them still sleeping peacefully, got up, grabbing their baseball bat, and slowly crawled out their room to check around, trying to be as silent as possible, since their parents too were sleeping. He felt observed, it was such a horrible feeling! It made him shiver in a horrible way. Walking and looking around, he saw nothing. Not a person, not an animal… nothing. Still, he was feeling observed and he knew that he had to believe to his sixth sense. It could also have been a stand user with a stand able to make them invisible… he had seen too many bizarre things in too few years to exclude this possibility.

This until he decided to call out Echoes act 3. The moment his stand came out, the feeling reached its peak. When Koichi thought that the enemy was about to finally come out, his s/o’s stand made its appearance, bouncing around before hopping on Echoes, chatting happily. Saying that Koichi was baffled would be an underestimation! He stared for a bit at the stand, wordless, before Echoes asked it if it was observing them, receiving a positive answer. Koichi sighed, wiping out the cold sweat on his forehead, before picking up his s/o’s stand and going back to their room, as silent as possible. While sitting back on the bed -and his s/o was still peacefully sleeping, unaware of what their stand just did- he gently scolded the stand, saying it, next time, to stay in the room and not roam around!

Rohan Kishibe

His Heaven’s Door, even if it doesn’t talk, thinks on his own, sometimes even questioning his user’s decisions -to Rohan’s utter annoyance and Josuke and Okuyasu’s total amusement-, as the stand knows how bitchy his user can be when he’s angry. Even if Rohan gets annoyed, when Heaven’s Door act like this, in the end he’s grateful, as it blocks him from doing really stupid things. His s/o’s stand is like his Heaven’s Door, a stand with human intelligence and comprehension of the world. Even if he doesn’t say it aloud, he loves watching it trotting around, when they call it out, and he allows it to perch on his shoulder or, better, to sit near him while he works, sometimes in place of his s/o who went to prepare two cups of tea.

The moment things became serious, between them, Rohan proposed them to live together at his house. It was big enough for two and even more, he loved them sincerely, it made sense, right? When they moved in and they could finally sleep together in the same bed, something happened. Rohan was still working, as he wanted to finish a page; his s/o was already sleeping, as the day had been long and tiring. Suddenly, Rohan catched something, out of the corner of his eye, a sort of shadow… he initially brushed it off as tiredness, but when he saw it again, and more clearly, this time, he had no doubts anymore: there was someone or something in his house. But how did this thing or person entered? He didn’t hear anything… he can’t tolerate something like this. He gets up, ready to fight whatever is in his house, both for his pride and, especially, to protect his s/o who is, Rohan checked, still asleep.

He followed the glimpses of the shadow down the stairs, in the living room, in the kitchen. He called out Heaven’s Door, ready to block and write the fate of the intruder. Finally, his Heaven’s Door managed to grab the intruder: how much he was surprised, when he saw it was his s/o’s stand! Rohan immediately ordered Heaven’s Door to leave it, holding it when it jumped in his arms. The guilty look on its face said really clearly what it had done! Rohan sighed, too tired and drained, now, to do something more, and just climbed the stairs, going straight to change and in the bed with his s/o, after asking the stand not to roam around the house on night. He didn’t say it, but it reminded him, even if he remembered just some glimpse and flash, about the night Reimi had been killed. That night a shadow crawled on the walls, darkened the floor; it deeply scared him, as it reminded him of Kira, of the killer, and how he couldn’t do anything to save Reimi’s life: it seemed like the story was about to repeat itself.

Jotaro Kujo

Star Platinum is a bit like Heaven’s Door: even if he doesn’t talk, he thinks and feels like a human being. He understands complicate topics and feels deep emotions and, while his user is more reserved and almost “unable” to show the depth of his emotions, Star Platinum doesn’t have this problem and he often is the only way Jotaro has to show his real emotions. His s/o’s one is similar: independent, curious, always ready to learn new things. His s/o’s stand loves to crouch near Jotaro, looking at what he does, or to play with Star Platinum -and this makes Jotaro smile a little-.

Once thing became serious, they started to live together. Nothing happened, in the first period, until, one night, a strange noise woke Jotaro up. Since the Dio mission and then the Kira one, Jotaro developed a really light sleep, and every suspicious noise always put him in fully alert mode. He couldn’t help it; he still had nightmares about his friends’ deaths, all in all. He couldn’t lose someone else and he knows how easily it can happen. So, he got up, careful not to wake his s/o up, and silently went to check, serious and ready to fight. Star Platinum was already out, looking around, at his side, ready to stop the time for any necessity. Minutes passed, slow, and the strange noise still hadn’t stopped. It seemed like something which was running around, above him, under him, behind, in front… everywhere. Jotaro felt surrounded and it made him shiver like it didn’t happen since a lot of time.

In the end, he decided to act instead of just wait for his enemy to appear. Star Platinum sprung towards the current source of the sound, ready to hit with all his strength, but suddenly stopped, as, in front of him, there was his friend stand. The guilty and scared look in its face made both Jotaro and Star Platinum’s heart clench and Star Platinum took the stand in his arms, holding it tightly. Jotaro sighed, taking some moments to calm his accelerated heartbeat and wipe off the cold sweat on his face, before going back to his s/o, Star Platinum, with their stand in his arms, closely following his user. A look was enough to make the stand understand the gravity of what it happened and surely it will not happen again. Jotaro didn’t say a word, as he laid down near his s/o, holding them to his chest, sighing in relief. It was all gone… they all were safe. No DIO, no Kira, no danger… it was all fine.

[tetrakys]

About Ikemen Vampire...

I finally got around to do the Ikemen Vampire first impressions post no one asked for, but I said I would do.

I’ve had the app on my phone for a while now, I mostly login and do the minigame to pile up on points and diamonds, but I’ve also played the butler event and a few chapters of Napoleon’s route.

FYI I only red a couple of spoilers on one route, so I’m jumping into this completely blind. Here we go.

The Premise:

A bunch of famous men from history turned vampires all living in the same mansion during a specific time in the past. On one side this is kinda interesting, on the other I know too much about many of these people (including their real aspect) to not face-palm every time I read their names, that’s why it took me so long to start this game. I knew it would need some getting used to it, and I have to admit I still find it strange at times. But well...

MC is, at least for now, the typical japanese otome game MC, so nothing exciting here, but maybe she will get gutsier moving forward? One can only hope. At least I like her love for travelling and she seems to know several languages.

Anyway if I’d been in her place, spending one month in the past with all these famous historical figures around, like hell I would’ve accepted to be a maid. I would’ve spent the whole time exploring and interviewing, I would’ve cut a deal with Le Comte, I’m sure he would’ve said yes. 

Anyway, let’s get to the guys, knowing that I’m an otome hoe and of course the plan is to get with all them (except maybe one). Team harem always for the win.

Ei fu.   Siccome immobile, Dato il mortal sospiro, Stette la spoglia immemore Orba di tanto spiro, Così percossa, attonita5 La terra al nunzio sta, ...

99% of the people reading won’t know what this is about. It’s one of the most important italian poems ever, it was written to celebrate Napoleon Bonaparte, it’s called Il Cinque Maggio (the date of Napoleon’s death... or in this case... resurrection as a vampire?). It’s huge, 108 verses, and I had to learn the whole thing by memory in school. It was so painful that it stuck with me to this day. That’s why I have a sort of love/hate relationship with the man.

But I decided to start with him for two reasons: I find this version of him hot and mysterious and I know his sexy scene is free so... who am I to turn down sexy times for free??

His back story of being half human half vampire is interesting and I am curious to see where this is going. I’m also curios to see how much cybird is sticking to history because the emperor had an interesting life to say the least. Including two wives, which I don’t want to think about because I am extremely jealous of all my otome boyfriends so I hope they are going to ignore this detail.

Yeah... no... this is so wrong... the guy died in exile in St Elena after failing to get his power back, speculations say that maybe he was even poisoned. It wasn’t a peaceful death and definitely he had regrets. 

I feel like I am putting too much thought into this and I should take the game as if these are just random people.

Anyway, Napoleon the character has a really pretty design, I love his eyes and his mysterious aura, and he looks like the honorable knight type. I hope he has also a kinky side because that’s how I roll and too good is not exactly my thing. He said he’s not attracted to MC pfff.... bullshit of course. We’ll see.

I don’t have much to say about Mozart because I’ve seen very little of him. I like his design, he seems to be the cold and slightly asshole type which I generally like, but too cold could put me off. If they’re going for any realism at all there could maybe be some daddy issues in his route?

This was the route that originally interested me the most because Leonardo was a genius and he’s the closest to home. Let’s ignore the fact that people keep using Da Vinci as if it was his surname WHICH IS NOT ,“da” means “from” and “Vinci” is a town, Leonardo from Vinci, he didn’t have a surname because he was a natural son. But other than that, there are two main points that make me consider skipping his route altogether. 

First of all, this is the only spoiler I have about the game, I know this story is sad whatever the ending, and I don’t do sad in my escapism. I only want happy endings, people may not agree but that’s my personal philosophy for playing these games.

Second, that “cara mia” triggers my rage every time I read it. As I explained in another post, “cara mia” is paternalistic and kinda offensive, “mia cara” is the sweet, caring one. The writers picked the wrong one and it’s soooo annoying to read. Especially because he repeats it quite a lot.

So, I’m not 100% sure yet, but this might be the first time in my history as an otome-player that I skip a route.

This. Adorable. Rascal. He might be the second route I play after Napoleon because I can’t wait to banter with this guy (if MC’s personality allows it). 

He seems as smart as his real counter-part and I like it.

I find a little annoying that he speaks like someone pretending to be British, it seems like the writers tried too hard, but what he says is kinda hilarious and I want him to (try to) bite me 👀

I assume they didn’t go completely with the realistic route here, otherwise Vincent should be a little coo coo, but the guy was sensitive and fragile and it seems that this was somehow preserved in the character. He has both ears though, so he probably isn’t completely suicidal. 

However he seems the totally sugary sweet type which is really not my thing. But I also heard he has one of the hottest sexy scenes in the game so colour me intrigued 👀

THIS! This is my man! I don’t know why I always fall for the tsundere, it’s not like I’m a masochist and like to be mistreated, but I like the bantering and I hope that MC is going to be cool enough to allow me to reply to him in tone. I really want to fight with him! 👀

Also, he’s sexy, and the fact that I know absolutely nothing about him, helps me not feeling annoyed by whatever it has been done to the character. 

I don’t know what to expect from his route. Does he have a brother complex? Is he jealous because his brother is a genius and he was a simple merchant? Why were they both turned? So many questions. Give me this beautiful asshole’s route soon cybird!

I know nothing about him too, but there’s something in him that irks me. He has a sort of paternalistic attitude, too many compliments, too polite... Also, that kimono has a strange fit.

On the positive side he seems protective and I like his quirkiness, so we’ll see.

Newton is the one that, together with Leonardo, interested me the most for pure principle. And, in this case, I am quite satisfied. I like his aesthetics and personality-wise he seems similar to Mozart, quiet, distant type. We’ll see.

I keep wondering why they turned a female character male, they could’ve added a wlw route. Anyway, I won’t complain because look-wise I like him the most out of everyone. The eye patch intrigues me, I like his style and I find him really beautiful. I know though that his route is the least sexy and that’s a bummer. I am curious about him and his route and wonder if he also hears voices in his head.

In this case I’m pretty sure we’re far away from the real person. William the character is the yandere of the group and even the other vampires seem a little preoccupied by him. I wonder if his route is maybe a little dangerous, I’m intrigued.

Mmm... I know I’m going to attract the disappointment of his many fans but I don’t like Saint-Germain. He’s handsome yes, but the one thing I hate in LIs is fakeness and duplicity, and I feel it with every bone in my body this guy is a liar. He emanates the same vibes as Lucien and Leiftan. There’s so much you’re hiding Comte, and you don’t fool me one bit! Also, his colour palette is too yellow for my tastes.

Sebastian is just boring to me. I don’t know.... he looks and sounds so plain. I hope there is some big mystery behind and that he will show more personality because at the moment he’s just meh. Also he can’t be just a simple, unknown human there must be something else (I hope).

So, currently, the characters who interest me are: Theo, Arthur, Isaac, Napoleon, Jean, William, Wolfgang 

While Vincent, Sebastian, Dazai, Leonardo and Comte all follow at the back of the queue.

Let’s see after a couple of months of playing if my opinions change.

And btw I’ve seen the three new vampires and they look so much cooler than all the main ones combined! I can’t wait for their routes to come out.

[wolfhednn]

— character chart pt. 5

the fifth installment!

PRESENT ( for the purposes of toa, this will also include timeskip where applicable )

CURRENT LOCATION garreg mach monastery. he spends the large majority of his time in the lower grounds, rarely — if ever — venturing up to the cathedral unless required to. generally speaking, he wears out the same paths between his room, the dining hall, his classroom, and the training grounds. finding him anywhere else is something of a rarity unless he’s been assigned chores. when in doubt, look in the training grounds.

AM — duke felix fraldarius. spends his time at glasagwyn if he’s not needed somewhere else. CF — uhhh. dead. VW / SS — can see it going either duke ending or mercenary ending due to how i’ve set up my verses, canon be damned. in the latter case, likely to be found wherever there’s fighting happening.

CURRENTLY LIVING WITH the other students at the academy. otherwise, on his own ( with glasagwyn staff, as duke ) for the most part.

PETS none currently. 

duke felix fraldarius loosely cares for about a dozen cats in and around his estate ( most of them are directly tended to by the servants ). at any given time, however, usually one or two of those are his cats, who he handles entirely himself. ( his favorite, if you will. ) meeko, a big fluffy tabby who definitely has norwegian forest in her, is the most prominent of these. though he wouldn’t consider them pets, the estate also manages a retinue of horses and pegasi. his wartime pegasus, kyphon, is enjoying a well-earned retirement, and his current war pegasus is named sainglend.

RELIGION as ambivalent about it as ever, in timeskip, felix attends to religious duties as is required of the duke fraldarius, but not generally beyond that. he’s criticized by some for being notably less pious than his father was, given faerghus’ strongly faithful culture, but his generation tends to share that quality overall, so it’s mostly the older advisors who frown at him for it. he doesn’t shirk his duties, however, so nobody can really get on him for doing exactly as much as is needed.

OCCUPATION student, duke fraldarius, or mercenary, depending on which verse we’re looking at.

FINANCES well off. he’s never struggled with finances, even taking into account faerghus’ comparative lack of resources. fraldarius has always been one of the most affluent territories in the kingdom. felix is also very good at handling money and surprisingly adept at state management, strategic at allocating both funds and efforts. his more domestically-focused and, at times, aggressive policies in comparison to those of his father often pay off, and the territory ( canonically ) sees restoration and prosperity under his governance.

FAMILY

MOTHER ghislaine alys fraldarius

RELATIONSHIP WITH HER his mother died shortly after he turned three, and so felix doesn’t have any memories of her. aside from paintings, he doesn’t recall what she looks like. rodrigue has mentioned her sparingly over the years, but has never talked about her in depth with felix, and their relationship soured too early for felix to have asked since. once or twice, he’d asked glenn about her, to which glenn offered some memories and a bit of insight into what kind of person she had been, but they were little more than isolated snapshots and impressions, since he was nine when she died.

FATHER rodrigue achille fraldarius

RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM clearly, not great. felix’s relationship with rodrigue is highly complex. he grew up admiring and loving him, but seeing him largely as a firm, though warm, authority figure. he figured he was indomitable, and to an extent still unconsciously views him as such. obviously, their relationship is very strained currently, and continues to be into timeskip. if asked, felix will only admit to it coming down to an irreconciliable difference in values and leave it at that. 

in reality, there’s a lot more to it, including resentment born from abandonment in the wake of the tragedy of duscur. i do headcanon that, in his preoccupation with his promise to lambert ( and also because of the stress of his deteriorating relationship with felix ), rodrigue was more of a father to dimitri post-duscur than he was to felix. i also headcanon that glenn was always, however subconsciously and unintentionally, his favored child, and he began to scold felix by constantly comparing him to his brother. this continues into present day during the academy years. it doesn’t help, though, that felix also lets his resentment color all his interactions with his father rather than attempting to seek any kind of reconciliation.

there’s also that tasty line from rodrigue in AM in the late-night scene with byleth:

After [the tragedy of duscur] happened, I said something horrible to Felix. He’s hated me ever since... and I don’t blame him.

the game never tells us what this was, and i have thoughts... but they’re sikrit hehehehe...

SIBLINGS glenn leo fraldarius, older brother ( deceased )

RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM very close. as i’ve mentioned before, glenn was felix’s hero growing up, as he was for many others. but more than that, he was an older brother who read to him almost every night, joked around him with all the time, taught him how to fight, and whose actions and words have influenced most of felix’s beliefs and identity. he always knew he could rely on glenn dropping everything unquestioningly to be there for him if he needed it. now that he’s older, he definitely recognizes where glenn’s flaws were, but that doesn’t change that he was the single most foundational person in his life, and that they shared an incredibly close bond despite the 6 year age difference.

SPOUSE sylvain jose gautier fdgsjdkjfh did we ever decide if they were actually going to make it official or not??

RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM in the absence of anything canon, and for the sake of toa-canon, we’re going to put sylvain here LKMKJDH. their dynamic should already be self-explanatory haha glance at any of our 87342 threads... cat and dog romance. sylvain is Whipped for that fraldarius. felix will die before he admits that he’s fond of sylvain and wouldn’t trade him for the world. ( he’s mad at me already for typing that. ) i’ll throw this here as the perfect depiction of their life before running away from my muse.

CHILDREN none technically

RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM felix has no interest in having kids and never pursues any of his own, whether biological or adoptive. as he gets into his later years, however, and concern about inheritance mounts in the absence of any known relatives, felix goes in search of someone, regardless of bloodline or social class, who upholds the tenets of what it means to be a fraldarius, and inducts them formally as the heir to his house ( sort of a la ashe ). it’s a highly controversial move, but felix remains steadfast in his stance in the face of any opposition. though he initially intends for his relationship with the child ( who would likely be older, around 8-13 ) to be strictly that of a duke and his successor, he eventually can’t help himself from becoming something of a parent to them anyway.

OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS he considers every one of those ~dozen cats to be family and would unhesitatingly run back into a burning glasagwyn to rescue any of them, much to the horror of his retainers.

[indulgnces]

hello! it’s jess again with my new final girl bb brooke under the cut! (AHS 1984 SPOILERS!) I’m playing her pre-prison for the most part, but legit after this next episode there are gonna be some new attributes given to her, so I’ll circle back and change as needed after Wednesday!

❛  ( LILY COLLINS )  ◈  dude, shut up ! BROOKE THOMPSON from AHS: 1984 is on screen. their fans swear they’re just COMPASSIONATE & CLEVER, but we’ve all seen their RESERVED & SKEPTICAL side ! according to TRUMAN WIKIA, they’re TWENTY-FOUR years old, CLOSETED BISEXUAL, & identify as CISFEMALE ( SHE/HER ). they’re currently a VETERINARY ASSISTANT & are CONFUSED about life in truman. luckily they have THEIR ENGAGEMENT RING AND HER KNIFE with them & can visit THE ROLLER RINK whenever they want. penned by JESS.

so her bio is always subject to change depending on what happens, as her show is currently airing, so a final version of her won’t come around for another couple weeks. but below is a sketch of my sweet & badass final girl brooke thompson (spoiler warning for ahs 1984!!)

CANON LIFE 

(gun tw, murder tw)

“I, uh I had this dumb idea, this, this dream to-” “To be somebody?” “No. To be nobody.....I pretended for so long to be somebody that I wasn't. Now I don't even know who I am.”

was a smart child who liked to learn. top of her all her classes. goodie-goodie who I wouldn’t call a nerd or a teacher’s pet, just like a prepared student who kept to herself and aced all her shit

things were smooth but then there was this entitled jerky bad Nice Guy who kept coming in 2nd behind her, and instead of pushing himself to idk be smarter than brooke and be on top on his own, he bitched and straight up stopped talking to brooke

that wasn’t enough for the baby tho, and so he convinced everyone else in their class to stop talking to brooke too. fucking iced out by her entire class

brooke did not like that. v much did not like that. she is a bit of a people pleaser, and can be easily peer pressured, and the idea of people thinking of her in a negative light, the idea that she was making other people mad or upset for some reason, didn’t set well with her, so she started to fail on purpose

pretended to be dumber than she was until she fell into the #2 spot, then the icing out stopped and the mean Nice Guy asked brooke out and ....she said yes bc well, why not?

flash forward and he’s asking her to marry him and she says yes for the same reasons before and though they’ve been together for years, they’ve never had sex/were saving themselves 

did i forget to mention Nice Guy was a jealous guy? i feel like that was implied, but yeah he was a v jealous boy, and during their wedding he accused brooke of sleeping with his best man sam duke (montana’s brother wassup), then proceeded to shoot sam, brooke’s dad when he tried to protect brooke, and then aimed that gun at brooke before shooting himself instead

#traumatized 

brooke got the hell out of dodge after that. didn’t want to be that girl anymore. didn’t want to be the Smart Girl or the Girl Who Slept With Her Fiance’s Best Man or the Girl With The Crazy Fiance or the Girl With The Murder Wedding like she just didn’t want to be anybody, wanted to blend into a crowd of strangers and disappear

where better to do that than los angeles? 

moved to la, got into santa monica college to take classes towards becoming a veterinarian assistant, was just gonna chill

then the night stalker decided to break into her apartment and try to kill her, but she’s got Balls and is clever when in danger, so she beat him with a frying pan and made a lot of noise and her neighbors heard and saved her life so #bless

decided again to get the hell out of dodge and go with a group of new friends to be a camp counselor at camp redwood for the summer because fun!!!! and safety, mostly

except not fun OR safe bc their first night there and she’s nearly killed by THREE killers (richard, mr.jingles, and fucking MONTANA) on separate occasions, had a traumatized night all around, and when daylight broke, she managed to kill that bitch montana in an act of self defense

bad timing tho bc she gutted her when a bus full of children were driving by, so like, not a good look, and then that bitch camp owner & true serial killer psycho margaret decided to pin all the murders on brooke so (upside down smile face emoji yknow the one)

brooke was found guilty and, after five years in jail, was sentenced to death by lethal injection

sentence was carried, brooke died an Absolute Boss, giving no fucks to richard (this man terrified her before and now she doesnt give two shits my gIRL!!), spitting at margaret, just being a badass, and then afterwards donna gave her a dose of adrenaline and brought my girl back to life

donna brought her back to health, and during that time brooke bonded and began to trust her. she also found out about margaret returning to camp redwood for a festival, and has made it her mission to go back and gut that lying bitch for the hell she put her through before she can go on with her life

also on her one day of fun out of the hotel after her recovery, she had a brief run in with a psycho serial killer bc (donna &) brooke’s apparently just serial killer BAIT, but guess what? just like every time before my girl used her fucking brain and got both her and donna out of their situation, and because she’s a badass now, she didn’t run away this time, instead she stayed and finished the job - opting to tie the psycho up and cut off his hitchhiking thumbs like a fucking BOSS i love her

now walking the way to redwood with her girl donna

and that’s everything of brooke thus far in canon! I’ll add more when the series ends!

FUN FACTS & HEADCANONS

did not sleep with sam, thank you very much

lost her virginity to ray, the ghost, during that traumatizing night at redwood and it was only Okay

was kissed by montana during that traumatizing night before it came to light that montana fucking hated her guts, and um that split second kiss did more for her than sex with ray? (no tea no shade ray you got a shudder or two out of her okay (but not the o oof)) brooke didn’t know she could feel that way towards women until montana kissed her and that shit SCARED her so she freaked and ran

so you know how brooke told donna not to kill that psycho killer who tried to kill them when they were on the road? it wasn’t because she wanted to torture him. it’s because she didn’t want donna to have to go through the trauma of killing somebody. bc even though she knows she was justified in killing montana, and she had to do it to save her life, she still went through the trauma of knowing she ended someone’s life, and she compassionate and doesn’t want her friend to deal with it either. she’s not about that murder game now, she’s not gonna kill if she don’t have to. but she’s not the same as she was before, not gonna let ppl get off scotch free - aka why she took the man’s thumbs & tied him up: punishment for what he did, and she left him there vulnerable to either die, or more likely: be found by a passing car, and face the punishment for what he did

girl really is serial killer bait though. idk what it is. when she was an innocent girl just trying to get through life? encountered her joey her fiance (killed 3 ppl including himself), ramirez (killed 13? people and counting), montana (psycho killed at least 2 people, presumably more, and counting), and mr. jingles (killed 5+ people) - most of who just wanted to kill her to killer her. then she became a bad bitch. and again, serials killers took an interest in her, with both ramirez & psycho bruce hitchhiker both amused by her new thick skin smhhh, girl can’t catch a break one way or another with these killers.

TRUMAN

“I don’t know what’s real. I- I don’t even trust myself.”

ah, truman, brooke has been utterly confused about truman

because brooke, she buys the story the actors have told her 

okay, so she moved to truman after the Red Wedding nightmare, okay, sure

but like, she spent five years in jail for crimes she didn’t commit, and that shit has left an IMPRESSION on this girl and so she’s also like, something doesn’t add up

but she’s not suspicious by nature, and she’ll believe what she’s been told, because why rock the boat and say otherwise? 

so she got her degree in truman in biology, with intentions to pursue veterinary school for her doctorate and obtain her license, and she hasn’t spoken her doubts aloud 

but like, LATELY (*cough* with the season’s premiere *cough*), babe’s been more confused than usual, with intense bouts of memories coming back to her

and she’s expressed these distressing memories to the actors, who act the same way the redwood crew did to her when she told them she was being chased by mr.jingles that first episode: they mocked and laughed her off, got her to believe what they needed her to

but just like redwood, with each passing week the memories won’t stop, and she’s been Distressed and then her PRISON EPISODE hit her and the sensation of dying has fully convinced her that these are not just dreams, these events are real, and she’s not sure how to process it

since the memories have returned, her new experiences and thick skin from prison has returned, making her wary of strangers once again, but it’s battling with her current perception of the world, and it’s all especially especially in this place that’s filled with people trying to tell her that’s she crazy for her memories

PERSONALITY

okay so, before prison? girl was naive and dependent and trusting and believed n the best of people. she got scared easy, had trouble being alone at night, and relied on the people around her for protection in life. she went with the flow and had little agency in her life, as she allowed her controlling fiance to p much dictate her life tbh 

before prison but after her red wedding, brooke became more reserved then usual, because she had an intense desire to be alone, and to be away from the stigmas and the reputation she had in her old life following the nightmare event. it was her first taste of independence, though she was still dependent in nature, as the second a group of friends came into her life, she found herself following their lead, tagging along.

after prison? total change. five years - NO, 1825 DAYS - in prison absolutely changed her. she looked back at her life and that night and realized she was too trusting. she got warnings and scares multiple times that day and night at redwood, from the gas station employee to the hitchhiker to the mystery phone call to the news report to LITERALLY BEING CHASED and she still didn’t follow her gut - instead she tried to do what everyone else around her told her to do, which was relax because she was supposedly being paranoid. if she had pushed, if she had the nerve to walk away even, none of this would have happened. and she hates herself for that. 

she spent five years as an innocent victim with scary guilty criminals, and she grew a thick skin as a result. lost her innocence and her wide-eyed charm. 

not she’s skeptical, and even more reserved than before, and wary to strangers. she’s still compassionate and helpful, still feels for people and had an urge to help, but she doesn’t follow those urges as helplessly as she did before. she trusts her gut more.

carries around a knife too because, as said earlier, she’s some kinda magnet for killers and you can never be too safe!

I called her clever because my girl, when in life and death situations,is SO FUCKING SMART like she does not go out without a fight and it’s never full on “imma hit you with my fists” its “let me see what I have around me at my disposal” like she is smart and she is quick to grasp a new situation when her life is in peril, she out here wielding frying pans and canoe paddles and using two serials killers pushing her around in a net as momentum to grab a tree and climb out of her net like she’s so smart

when her life is not in peril, though, she be doing dumb shit like sleeping with her window open KNOWING serial killers take advantage of that shit and answering creepy pay phones in the middle of the night so, shes a naive bitch too

positive: compassionate, determined, honest, clever, resourceful, helpful, kind

negative: reserved, skeptical, resentful, paranoid, tense, touchy, withdrawn

SUBJECT TO CHANGE! as the season progresses.

CANON CONNECTIONS

i basically love brooke with all of the redwood gang tbh

montana? love it. angsty dark shit im game. xavier? love it. soft as fuuuck. richard? game, tell him to fuck off sis he don’t scare you no more. donna? bet, I need this badass duo in my life!!! chet? adorable babies, let them share more marshmallows together. ray? also cute, he may be a coward but he was soft with her so!, trevor? #letsmakebrookeblush2k19 bc that big dick interaction was funny and I wanted more moments of blushing virgin brooke becoming speechless around trevor (and montana, or the ultimate combo of trevor & montana) during a summer at redwood bUT THAT NEVER HAPPENED 

anyways

TRUMAN CONNECTIONS

once again, I’ll probs post smth separate for her connections!

and yeah! that’s everything on my new girl! if you’ve made it this far, you’re still the best my dudes!! if you’d like to do any kind of plotting with my girl, just go ahead and hit that like button, and I’ll slide in y’alls dms! ♥

[bottomtonyhoe]

Drama Kings - Chapter 2

“ Where the fuck were you ? “ Jensen is welcomed by his mom’s angry voice .

“School , apparently . “ He kicks off his Nike’s near the door , then neatly places them in his shoe bin .

“ No . Mr. Sheppard called and told me why you skipped 7th period “ She scolds , placing a hand on her hip .

Screw you , accent asshole who can’t keep his mouth shut .

“ So ? It is not like I skipped the whole day , and hey I got a nearly perfect score in Maths in the last test , so I am good “ . It was true . He knows people take him for a dumb jock who probably inherited his dad’s IQ level , but he never had a problem with the material . He just hated listening to teachers rambling about their glory days .

“ It is not your grades I’m worried about “ She snaps and Jensen snorts . He wasn’t going to have this conversation .

“ I’m going to my room “ he practically runs upstairs , ignoring all the yelling and shutting the door behind him .

God . His room is such a mess .

_________________________________________

Jared spends the rest of the evening texting Gen and Misha . They go on and on about their summer vacation and their funny memories together . Jared warms up to them quicker than he thought , although they are a little weird to be completely honest .

He tries to distract himself with homework so he won’t think about his earlier , rather embarrassing encounter with his crazily hot neighbor . It only works for a few minutes , until he hears a loud guitar coming from the window opposite to his . Led Zeppelin voice blasts across the room and he walks towards his window . the houses aren’t even that close to each other , What the fuck is wrong with this person ?

“ Hey ! Could you turn this down ? HEY ! “ Jared yells and bangs his hand against the window , finally getting the attention of whoever that disrespectful brat was .

Except , he didn’t expect this when the curtains were moved aside .

The hot neighbor from earlier turns to be the next door brat who blasted both their windows with Metallic rock . He looks at him for a moment , then turns off the music .

“ Sorry , man . I am not used to people living in this house . It won’t happen again . “ He says scratching the back of his neck .

If God wanted to purposefully punish him , he wouldn’t create such a perfect looking human being with an equally perfect , deep voice . God dammit .

“ It’s fine “ Jared says and urges himself to move , but he feels glued to the floor .

“ I saw you earlier . You go to my school , right? “ the boy asks , leaning against his window frame . Jared tries not to stutter as he answers .

“ Yeah , I’m Jared by the way “

“ Jensen , So are you a senior too ? “

As in ‘ Asshole quarterback star ‘ Jensen freaking Ackles . This is a cosmic bad joke that God is probably playing . The boy next door is practically Regina George , no matter how dramatic that sounds .

“ Y-yeah , I am “ Jared hears himself say weakly .

“ Ok then . See you tomorrow , Jared “ Jensen throws a bright , too goddamn charming smile his way .

It takes longer this time to remember how to breathe .

Jensen sits down on his bed and writes ‘ Jared ‘ down on his Facebook search . he scrolls through the list of Jareds till he finds a ‘ Jared Padalecki ‘ with a profile picture of the boy grinning , and damn , those dimples .

He knows he shouldn’t be stalking the kid on social media , but he does it anyways . After a few minutes of scrolling , he finds out that the boy used to live in LA before he moved to Chicago . He had a golden retriever dog , but he passed away , but that’s all .

Jensen did that because he is curious . He doesn’t find Jared any more interesting than any other new kid . He is just curious , that’s all .

_____________________________

“ YOUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR “ Jared had to hold his right ear , to protect it from Gen’s mental freak out . He really shouldn’t have told her .

“ That would be an awesome romantic movie , except oh , Jensen is straight “ Misha says , digging through his cheese burger ,

“ Wait , how-“

“ How did I know you liked dicks . You stare dude , not that I mind . Hot stuff “ Misha winks at the last phrase . Jared knows he is bi . he has it on his instagram bio . Who does that ?

“ He practically tried to shatter our windows with Led Zeppelin music “ Jared says , changing the topic

“ Asshole “ Misha sings .

The three of them walk to math class . He looks up to see Jensen taking a seat in front of him .

“ Hey , Jared . “ Jensen turns around , flashing him one of his charming smiles . His freckles are even more fascinating up close . Jared finds himself smiling .

“ So , You are coming to today’s game ?” Jensen asks and Jared shrugs

“ I don’t know . I’m not really into football .”

“ You don’t have to be . Just come watch . Maybe I can make you like it “ . A smirk spreads on his flawless lips and Jared gulps .

God . Is he flirting ? He is straight , right ?

“ Alright “

Then Mrs. Rhee walks in the class and Jensen turns around , a smile still plastered on his face .

God . Jared is royally fucked .

_____________________

Later on , Jared sits on the first bench next to Gen , who starts telling him the names of football players .

“ And this is Tyler Lockwood . A homophobic son of a whore who happens to be your neighbor’s brother in crime . Another reason why I hate the football team , and why Misha had gone home by now . “

Wow . So he wasn’t flirting at all .

“ A bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch “ Jared didn’t know why ( or who ) he was defending .

“ Don’t tell me you got the hots for Ackles “ She whispers , as if it was highly confidential .

“ God Gen . No , I am not dumb enough to like a straight guy “

Or is he ?

“ You’d better not be , Padalecki “ then Gen looks straight ahead .

He doesn’t understand why they don’t like him that much . He was pretty nice to Jared and apart from arrogance and loud music , he is bearable .

But again , he only spoke to him for 2 minutes .

“ Here he comes “

________________________

Apparantly , Jared likes football .

No , He likes how Jensen plays football . They won the game , thanks to him . Jensen takes off his helmet , enjoying the glory of being the star of the match . His name is being chanted , people are praising him and the coach pats his shoulder roughly , with a proud smile on his face .

Jensen looks up at him and their eyes lock , then suddenly , he doesn’t hear all those cheers . He can only see Jensen’s beautiful smile , just for him , and his forest green eyes . He returns the smile with a grin and mouths “ great job “ which seems to widen Jensen’s smile and earn him a wink .

Wait , did he just wink at him ? Wow .

“ Did he just ? “ Gen asks , confusion dancing around her face .

Jared takes a deep breathe , then shrugs

______________________

“ You nailed it “ Jensen hears Tyler praise before he feels his bone crushing embrace . God , they both stink .

“ I know , right ? “ Jensen smiles and Ty punches his arm , both undressing .

See ? Jensen doesn’t find guys hot , doesn’t stare . Why the fuck is Jared so different ? or so beautiful ?

“ Did you see Osric today ? “ Ty asks , getting in the shower and closing the door behind him . Jensen does the same and takes off the rest of his clothes , letting the hot water run down his body .

“ Why ? didn’t do your homework ?”

“ Damn straight . He said he’d do it , but I can’t find him anywhere and Mr, Physics bullshit gave me a load of crap “

Jensen chuckles . typical asshole .

“ So what will you do when we find him ? “ Jensen quickly puts on his black V-neck T-shirt , boxers and black jeans .

“ We ? thought you told me to do my homework myself , Ackles .” Ty says getting out of the shower , fully dressed .

“ I’m feeling generous today . And hey , the kid went back on his word . He has it coming “ Jensen smirks . the truth is , he has nothing to do for the rest of the day and also , he wants to forget all about the Padalecki boy . He won’t act all jerk towards Osric . In fact , it is much better if he is there to hold Ty back . His friend was 10 times the asshole he was .

“ He is probably in the library .Physics advanced class has this new project , so he is probably researching “ he says packing my gym bag .

“ How the fuck do you know ? “ Ty frowns , folding his shoulders

“ Because I passed its test and they added me to their telegram group “ Jensen mumbles , hearing him gasp .

“ You what ? “

“ Dude , it was an IQ test . I didn’t even study much for it and if it makes you feel better , I haven’t attended a single one “ Jensen snaps , not believing Ty became that much of an asshole that he had to explain himself to him . He just chuckles .

“ Man , I should make you do my homework “ He grins .

“ Bite me “ and he snorts .

___________

“ Thermodynamics are ten times easier than this Shakespeare novel , I swear “ Osric says smiling and Jared chuckles .

Jared met the kid in the library , helping him search for Henry’s gas law reference . And the conversation just kept flowing , mostly about English and Physics . Exchanging information and that kind of shit .

They hear footsteps and they both turn to the source . Jensen Ackles and Tyler Lockwood stand near the entrance and he locks eyes with Jensen , but Tyler moves to their table and grabs Osric by his collar , making him stand up .

“ So , you still think it is a good idea not to do my homework ? “ Tyler hisses in his face and Jared’s eyes widen . So that’s why Misha and Gen hate these two . God . He thought Jensen wasn’t that low .

“ Hey ! Leave him alone “ Jared says stepping closer to Lockwood , who gives him a rather amused expression .

“ Look what we got here “ Tyler says and lets go of Osric , turning his full attention to Jared .

Jared wasn’t at all defenseless . He worked out , he wasn’t as built as Tyler but still tall enough . He knew how to fight , he just hated it .

“ Hey hey ! Back the fuck off “ Jensen’s voice rings across the library and he stands in front of Tyler .

“ Your problem is with Osric. Leave the kid alone “ Jensen says getting in his face . If Jared was in Tyler’s shoes , he would be scared shitless right now .

“ You’re scared of that pussy or what ? “ Tyler asks , clearly irritated .

“ You call him that one more time and you will face me . He is with me “ Jensen snaps .

He shouldn’t stand like a girl , feeling all warm while watching a guy defend his honor , but he does . He feels protected , almost enough to make him forget what kind of douchebag was protecting his ass , or making him blush .

“ Whatever , man “ Tyler pushes Jensen away and storms out of the library .

“ Hey . Are you ok kid ? “ He asks Osric and Jared narrows his eyes .

“ Now you’re all concerned ? “ Jared asks , not helping the small stutter in his words .

“ Look , I didn’t know he was your friend “ Jensen looks at his eyes . and goddamn it is not the time for Jared to stare right now .

“ And it would be ok if he wasn’t ? “He folds his arms . Jensen opens his mouth to say something and then he closes it again . His hands close into fists . Jared can’t help but notice the veins in his arms . Not fucking now .

“ You know what ? If I didn’t step in , your bacon would be toast . so how about a little credit ? “ He snaps and Jared can’t help but flinch . He looks at Jared for a moment then he storms out of the library .

It really isn’t the time to think about how hot Jensen looked while angry . and why the fuck is Jared blushing right now ?

———————

Next update is next week ♥️

Chapter-1

Masterlist