#motherfuckers still trying to ice skate up hill

[mmolly-ringwormm]

Seeing Blade in the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie was really such a treat

[gothamusing]

DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE (2024) PART TWO. a collection of memes derived from the deadpool and wolverine movie, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i know how to fuck people up for money, but you, you, know how to save them.

they call me the merc with the mouth. they don’t call me truthful timmy, the blowjob queen of saskatoon.

you know what, you’re a fucking joke.

i have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life.

you will never save the world.

you couldn’t even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper.

i wish i could say you’d die alone, but it’s one of god’s best jokes that you can’t die, except that’s on all of us!

i’m gonna fight you now.

you dirty bitch!

i take it all back, the honda odyssey fucks hard.

oh, we’re just getting started.

i don't like you.

and who’s this succulent reminder of my own inadequacies?

i can tell you now, it’s just a common courtesy to ask before you drink up all of my liquor.

it’s a good thing i don’t give a fuck.

it’s like pinocchio jammed his face in my ass and started lying like crazy.

people like us don’t go quietly.

let’s get the fuck out of this place.

don’t listen to him, he’s a fucking liar.

you made it out alive?

look, there’s strength in numbers, all right?

i know what it means to feel self-doubt.

dick head here, talk to him about team up. then he came down with a little case of the deads.

if he survived that, he is praying for death.

where i come from, we call that suicide.

i’m sick of this shit. i'm sick of hiding.

let’s face it, our world’s forgot about us.

i ain’t know my daddy, but i’m sure i shot out of his dick ready.

you're all fucking dead.

my god, read the room.

i’m not looking for company.

i got to have a life because of you.

trust me, kid, i’m no hero.

i couldn’t have them thinking i wanted to be there.

this suit’s all i got to remind me of who they were.

we won’t pull this off without you.

where'd you get that little beauty?

oh, this is gonna be good.

you know how long i’ve been waiting for this?

you just make sure people know what happened here today.

when you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah?

some motherfucker’s still trying to ice skate up hill.

you shouldn’t have done that.

you are an interesting one, aren’t you?

you’re hiding from them, from all the ones you let down.

that’s not all you did, is it?

i can silence all those voices.

i've got you.

either you kill me or i kill you. both wonderful options.

oh come on, mr. pg-13 except the last one.

why are you like this?

i know your brother.and as much as i wanna fucking kill you, every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you. he would not let me stand here, and watch you die.

my brother loved you.

if he knew about you, if he knew where you were, he would have torn a hole in the fucking universe to bring you home.

they’re gonna make him do this till he’s 90.

you put all these bullets in my belly and i’m gonna find out why.

you don’t have to stick your fingers in me.

jesus, just ask sometimes.

we had an agreement.

oh, i hate you so much.

why was thor crying?

you tried to kill me.

you come for the king, you better kill the king.

you had to go and piss on my side of the fence, and now the fence must come down.

don’t worry, i’ve called some friends to make sure were not disturbed.

what’s cafe gratitude doing here?

oh, that's funny. i can gently tap the fourth wall too. the proposal.

the fuck was that?

bitch, you think that’s what i do?

i take it they’re not friendly.

i’d love to get in the mix, but i have low bone density and i have to keep my face safe.

when i want your opinion, i’ll take wolverine’s dick out of your mouth.

i think it’s been steadily great since endgame.

what are you talking about?

uzi time, baby.

i think i'm hit.

you did that on purpose.

listen to me, gorgeous. how long does it take for you to regenerate?

you really are god’s perfect idiot, aren’t you?

how dare you, you insensitive son of a bitch.

how was i supposed to know he doesn’t regenerate? i’m not a medicine woman.

i’m gonna get you to safety.

hey, why are we stopping?

listen to me. you're gonna live.

i don’t think he’s gonna make it.

i could taste his final thought. he was so afraid. but he died a hero.

he died from murder, you dumb fuck!

what’s the wind resistance on those blowjob handles?

sorry, i'm just a catty bitch when i'm jealous.

all right, let's do this. maximum effort.

the mask is really intimidating, huh? it’s like batman except he can move his neck.

if you’re not gonna swallow, spit it out.

trust the laws of physics if you don’t trust me.

you heard that asshole upstairs. even if we pull this off, we’re dead, permanently.

you didn’t ask for any of this.

i lied right to your face.

say hi to your friends for me.

i can’t hear you over all the noble sacrifice.

why are you fucking doing this?

sorry, i’m just stalling. i think i’m nervous about dying.

for the first time in my life, i am proud to wear this suit.

there’s nothing you or i can do to bring them back now.

he has risen, babygirl!

we’re doing just fine, you piece of shit.

what the fuck is happening here?

i was just doing what you don’t have the guts to do.

you look damn good in that suit.

i'm so sorry.

i wanna show you something.

i could eat.

you know the avengers discovered shawarma?

what are you gonna do next?

i’m shaking like an angry vibrator.

everyone wants to matter.

give me the fucking dog.

i did it for you.

i know you don’t want me, but i did it for you.

turns out, i am the world’s saving type.

i’m tired of these absolutely vile rumors that i got (blank) killed.

holy shit, girl, you crazy.

gotcha, fuck face.

[malzanya]

15 years of movies and they still know they'll never write a line on par with "Some motherfucker's always trying to ice skate up hill."

the true issue with the mcu is that they live in constant insecurity that they'll never be as fuckin cool as Blade

[storytaeme]

slip ‘n’ slide – taegi

The last thing Yoongi expected to find in a secluded mountain was an adorable ice skating instructor with the most gorgeous ass. 

taegi week 2017 – taehyung x yoongi ft. jihope

❅ Prompt: Ice Skating

❅ Elements: Fluff, Smut  |  Ski Lodge AU    ↪ smut includes fingering, spanking, slight size kink

❅ Word Count: 7,580 words

❅ A/N: A poor excuse of a pwp!!! I just wanted to write smut for Taehyung and Yoongi heheh also did not proofread yet so I apologize for mistakes!

Min Yoongi was a talented, versatile man. He was skilled in a lot of things—rapping, music production, ensuring that Kim Namjoon stayed alive despite his clumsy two left feet and wildly long limbs, and sleeping for a good ten hours straight on satisfying nights. However, what he was far from qualified in was ice skating. And that was the last thing he wanted to do just a few sprinkle of days away from Christmas.

After pulling him out of the hellhole that was his finals, Namjoon had hauled Yoongi into his car and made their way up to the mountains where he planned an “all boys weekend” which basically implied a lot of booze, a lot of Namjoon flailing around, Hoseok picking up every walking thing with two legs in sight, and Yoongi struggling to keep his sanity intact. That, and a lot of karaoke sessions that Hoseok would drunkenly start in their cozy little lodge suite. They had splurged a little extra in honor of Yoongi’s early finish of his thesis and that meant a snazzy space with three bedrooms for all of them—which was probably for the best because, the first night, Hoseok was already thumping against Namjoon’s walls.

“This always happens,” Yoongi spoke over his coffee, humming as he inhaled the aroma of the bitter brew. His fingers were numb but they were quickly getting their senses back with the warmth radiating from his mug.

Namjoon groaned, fingers tangling frustratedly in his mussed up hair. They hadn’t even reached the weekend and Yoongi could already see the telltale signs of shadows under his eyes. He wanted to spew out an I told you so but it didn’t seem like the right time—not when Namjoon looked about ready to throttle Hoseok who was having his second round with whoever he had plucked from the club last night. “I know, I know,” he moaned, “it’s just so miserable. I wanted it to make a good weekend out for all three of us but he’s not being a team player. And neither are you, you bailed on the club last night.”

“I had to email my professor,” Yoongi smirked.

“Liar,” Namjoon snarled right back, jabbing an accusing finger his friend’s way, “I know Professor Han is already out for break and, when that’s the case, he never replies to his emails. Plus, you submitted your damn thesis a week ago, you’re basically free. A free bird. Caw caw, motherfucker.”

The elder snorted, swallowing the burn of the coffee with a wince. “It was to make sure that he received it. And you know that cramped places like those are not my forte. I was going to end up babysitting the two of you.”

“That’s the point,” he pouted sulkily.

“Nice try,” he scoffed, “I’m not playing into this game again. This was why I refused to come in the first place.”

“You signed a contract by blood.”

Yoongi squinted at him, “You literally scribbled an agreement, pricked my finger and forced me to stamp my thumb on that piece of toilet paper. We were both drunk, I’m surprised you didn’t cut my finger off.”

“By blood,” Namjoon pressed, palms flattened on the pretty marble countertop. They really did invest a good amount to get them a nice accommodation for the weekend. “But there’s this huge party that the lodge is holding tonight, cheap booze,” Namjoon wiggled his eyebrows excitedly, “you should definitely come.”

“I’ll think about it,” he grunted. He honestly had no intentions on sticking around for long even if he did show up. His thesis had drained the last of drop of energy he had in him, and he was surprised that Namjoon and Hoseok stuck around considering the amount of social contact he had to cut off to finish his work by the deadline.

“We are going ice skating today though, so that’ll be fun.”

Yoongi’s face showed otherwise. His expression had twisted bitterly as he gaped at his friend in utter incredulity. “You want me to go ice skating?”

“Yes, it’ll be good bonding time.”

“None of us know how to do it,” Yoongi reasoned.

Namjoon gave a shrug. “They have instructors around to help. Plus, if we go down, we go down together.”

“Fuck you.”

Hoseok came stumbling into the kitchen minutes later, hair sticking up in all sorts of angles and a blinding grin on his face. His neck was littered with purpling bruises that bloomed almost grotesquely. “Good morning, sunshines.”

Yoongi wanted to ask why this guy had light sprouting out of his butt at ass o’clock after he had his brains screwed out of his head. Then again it was Hoseok. The only times Yoongi had seen him in any other mood, he had steered clear. He wasn’t the nicest person when he was a little moody. Second later, another figure appeared in the doorway, looking as disheveled as Hoseok but twice the intensity of being mauled over. “Uh, hey everyone,” the man coughed awkwardly with all the eyes on him and his half-naked figure. “I sort of lost my shirt.”

They all could see that. The guy was good looking, had toned abs and all, tiny—probably Yoongi’s height—and cute as fuck, Hoseok’s and everyone’s type. There was a sweetness to his face that had all of them quietly admiring him. Hoseok had definitely gotten lucky.

“You can walk around without it, babe,” Hoseok beamed. The guy blushed, but fidgeted. “Grab one of my jackets, I’ll probably see you later anyway.”

“Coming to the rink?” the guy perked up, looking surprised. So were the rest of them. Their friend never really did ever come back for seconds, so if he had plans to even hang out with the guy, that said a lot.

Hoseok nodded, still grinning his post-sex afterglow. “Yeah, we’re all going there. So see you then?”

The guy pinked again but nodded shyly, “Okay, I’ll see you all later.” He disappeared back down the hall, then out the door, all of them waiting to hear that soft click.

Namjoon hopped on it first, “Damn. He was cute as fuck.”

“Tell me about it.” Hoseok’s eyebrows jumped enthusiastically. “You should hear his moans too, even cuter.”

“And you’re going back for him?” Yoongi questioned curiously, “That’s a first.”

Hoseok sparkled, his entire face lit up brilliantly like fireworks had burst before him. “He’s really good too, nice ass. Fuck, such a nice ass.” He looked up to the ceiling as if thanking the heavens for gracing him for that Grade A booty. “God, I can’t wait to slide my dick—”

“Anyway,” Yoongi interrupted, shoving a piece of toast into Hoseok’s mouth before he could further detail the process of coitus that Yoongi was familiar with and certainly did not need to hear coming from his friend’s mouth.

“I’m going to get ready, get myself all dolled up,” Namjoon fluttered his eyelashes teasingly, smiling. “I heard the instructors are gorgeous. I wouldn’t mind snatching one of them up for tonight.”

“Like your no-game ass is ever going to nail one of them,” Yoongi snorted. Hoseok high-fived him with a laugh. The two of them knew what always happened whenever Namjoon tried to pull off the smooth and suave. No matter how many times they’ve told him that his charms lied in his intelligence and awkwardness, Namjoon tried to work the “cool” look and always ended up embarrassing himself with double the humiliation.

The youngest of them narrowed his eyes, “Don’t test me. I’m going to be so riled up to get good ass if you put it that way.”

“Alright, honey,” Yoongi smiled sweetly, patting Namjoon’s cheek patronizingly, “go get dressed up so we can get you that ass you need, yeah?”

“Fuck you.”

—

The thing about being up in the mountains, far away from civilization and trapped in the only building that existed with only snow and hills surrounding it, was that there was no escape whatsoever. Yoongi had learned his lesson that having no exit door was never a good sign, but he supposed that—just this time—he could make it work.

Namjoon had bounced all the way down to the outdoor area where all the kids were playing. It seemed a little strange, Yoongi supposed, to see three grown men fumbling around with their laces as they attempted to balance themselves on the blade of their shoes. While Yoongi and Hoseok managed to keep their composure, Namjoon was hanging onto every possible surface for dear life with shaky knees. They had laughed about it for a little while, the two of them tittering about how ridiculous their friend looked. However, they really did speak too soon when they actually arrived on the ice.

The ground was slippery, had Yoongi clinging onto the barriers with his gloved hands to avoid falling flat on his face and gluing his skin to the freezing cold ice. Hoseok was slowly making his way around the rink, going ahead of Yoongi and laughing, only to stop when he lost his balance, then proceeded to cackle at him again. However, the dark horse of this entire story was probably Namjoon. The man was a fucking whiz on the ice.

Yoongi should’ve known better that karma always played fairly and that the two of them would get what was coming for them when they had snickered over Namjoon’s misery. Now, the youngest of them was gliding, slip and sliding all over the ice easily. Gone was the baby fawn and came in the massive buck who conquered the task. Well, that’s something to expect from a genius who managed to nail everything that needed skills and practice—except life, Namjoon was still working on life.

“Hey, hyung,” Namjoon called out and Yoongi could already feel the irritation bubbling in his veins as he turned slowly to face the other man. Namjoon was wiggling his ass stupidly while his feet maneuvered smoothly upon the cold surface. His glide was almost impeccable and Yoongi could’ve sworn he saw the guy do a figure eight at some point.

“Shut the fuck up, Namjoon,” Yoongi growled, fingers gripping the walls of the rink for dear life. Namjoon howled in laughter before skating away, hands behind his back. Smooth motherfucker. If only he had that kind of gracefulness in every other occasion too, maybe Yoongi would stop having a billion heart attacks whenever he handled pans in the kitchen.

Hoseok popped up behind him, purposely giving him a hard pat on the back then laughing when Yoongi jolted forward with a yelp. “The more you stick to the sides, the scarier it gets you know. You just have to embrace the feel.”

The only thing Yoongi would be embracing if he let go was the searing pain of his body doing an entire dive onto the ice, and the embarrassment of tumbling in front of dozens of other kids who had no problem working their own skates. It really was humiliating to be upstaged by ten-year-olds who kept pointing their fingers at him and muffling their laughter.

“Hey, Hoseok, here’s an idea. Fuck off,” Yoongi scowled bitterly. Hoseok only snorted again, poking at his friend. The incessant action had him wiggling around to avoid it, had him sticking his hand hard into Hoseok’s side to get him away.

“Hyung!” This time, it was another voice. It was the kid from earlier, the one who had gotten his ass wrecked by Hoseok.

“Jiminie!” Hoseok squealed, pouncing on the boy almost immediately. The guy looks brighter now, cleaner. It was sort of weird seeing the two of them side by side. It was as if there were two suns competing to shine brighter than the other. The Jimin guy giggled.

He wasn’t stripped half-naked this time (unfortunately) and was decked out in a navy and maroon puffy jacket zipped up with a logo of the lodge. “Are you an instructor here?” Yoongi queried with a curious raise of his brow.

“Yeah!” Jimin beamed, nearly blinding Yoongi with all the brightness he was radiating. “I’m a student studying sports therapy but I’ve been skating my entire life, been working here every break since I started.” That explained the entire chocolate abs thing he had going on.

“Mhm,” Hoseok cooed, pinching his cheek, “but Jiminie’s mine for today.” Jimin flushed at that, scarlet creeping up his neck and reaching the tips of his ears.

“Do you need some help, hyung?” Jimin asked warily, concern dripping in his voice. Wow, cute and sweet. Why didn’t Yoongi have this kind of luck?

Hoseok crinkled his nose and tightened his hold around Jimin’s arm. “Don’t worry about him. He said he was perfectly fine.”

Jimin’s gaze fell to Yoongi’s wobbling legs. He looked like a newborn foal trying to get a steady grip on life. “Are you sure—”

“He’s fine,” Hoseok insisted.

“I can get my friend, give me a second.” God bless this boy. God fucking bless this angel of a human being. Hoseok could go suck his dick and choke on it. Jimin’s that was. Yoongi wasn’t letting his friend anywhere near his dick. “Tae! Hey, over here!” He was waving down one of the guys wandering around the rink in the same uniform.

Yoongi squinted at the faraway figure. He looked tall but he did seem to have the skills to move around the ice, as he should as an instructor. When he arrived, he should’ve known that a beautiful person like Jimin would have beautiful friends too. Yoongi just didn’t expect his smile to have double the butterfly effect in his stomach. He’s never felt his guts flip this way, it was almost unnerving.

“This is my friend, Taehyung,” Jimin introduced with a huge smile, “he’s one of our best here so he can take care of you, uh…”

“Yoongi,” he cleared his throat, sticking out his hand and realized too late that it was a mistake because he lost his balance and almost slipped to land on his ass. However, his white knight had swooped in and caught him right before he—

“Whoa there, be careful.”

Yoongi was going to nut.

The man’s voice was rich and velvety. There was a baritone ring to it that would’ve sounded wonderful if he crooned something as cozy as jazz. It certainly didn’t match up to his expectations. His voice had something strange brewing inside his stomach.

“Yoongi, you good, man?” Hoseok peered at him curiously as if asking him where in the world he just went to.

It was then he realized he was still clutching onto Taehyung for dear life. The realization had him jerking away in embarrassment, hands flying to grab hold onto the railings instead.

His friend grinned stupidly at him. “Well, now I know that you’re in good hands—” something told Yoongi that Hoseok knew that he was very much affected by the stranger next to him “—I’ll leave you both to it. Come on, Jiminie, show me the ropes.” The pair skated away, Jimin’s smaller stature guiding Hoseok.

Meanwhile, Yoongi was still wobbling around on the side. Taehyung breezed closer to him, proximity unnerving. “Need a hand?” he grinned, lips squaring up to reveal a perfect set of teeth. He was cute. Too cute. Yoongi didn’t handle cute well. Or any other form of attractive in fact.

“I’m—” Okay should’ve been the next word, but it turned out that he was most definitely not okay. “Yeah, sort of.”

Taehyung chuckled and even that sound reverberated something warm through him, a tingling left on his skin that had his hairs rising. It was sort of terrifying how this man’s voice alone did wonders to Yoongi when he had barely spoken two words. The tall boy held out his hand, gleaming smile still glittering on his face. Yoongi took it cautiously, more for the sake of his safety rather than the beating of his heart.

Slowly, he eased Yoongi away from the sidelines and towards the actual ice where the action was packed. It was frightening to say the least. However, Taehyung was patient and guided him gently and instructing him how to move his feet. This was good, this was actually okay. Yoongi could get the hang of this. Minutes ago, he was this close to throwing Namjoon off a hill, but this wasn’t so bad once he got used to it.

“You’re a natural,” Taehyung brightened.

“I bet you get paid to say that to all the guests,” Yoongi chuckled nervously.

Taehyung shook his head and flashed another grin, “Only the cute ones, cross my heart.”

Yoongi didn’t handle flirts well either. And Taehyung was a cute flirt. “Well, I’m touched,” he chose to say instead.

“Boys weekend?”

He nodded in confirmation, “Got sort of dragged out here by those two. The cold isn’t really my thing, I’m barely alive with how freezing Seoul is most of the time.”

“I feel you,” Taehyung huffed a laugh, puffs of white forming before his lips, “It doesn’t snow much in Daegu so coming up here every break was like a miserable slap in the face from Jack Frost.”

“You’re from Daegu?” Yoongi’s eyebrows jumped.

“Yeah! Are you too?” Taehyung was practically brimming with excitement and Yoongi was thankful he had the right answer, otherwise he would’ve disappointed the poor boy.

Yoongi grinned, “Yeah, born and raised. Only moved to Seoul for college.”

The two ended up chatting amicably about shared memories and places from back in their hometown. Despite loving Seoul to its fullest, they couldn’t help but have a mutual understanding of homesickness after having been away in the city for so long. Taehyung told him about his grandfather’s strawberry farm, how he used to spend nearly the entirety of his childhood there, and Yoongi with his parents and brothers who hadn’t been the most supportive of his initial endeavor for his future.

“But I’m glad they approve of it now,” Taehyung hummed, “it’s good to have some backbone. Anyway, even if you didn’t, you’d still be doing something you’re passionate about and, despite what people say, I think that’s enough to keep you going in life.”

“That’s a good mindset to have,” Yoongi murmured thoughtfully.

They hadn’t realized how much time had passed until Jimin was approaching them, Hoseok in tow. Their hairs looked mussed up and Yoongi wasn’t sure whether it was due to the whipping wind or if they had snuck away to make out somewhere. “Tae, it’s time for a shift change,” Jimin grinned, looping his arm through his friend’s. “How was your session?”

“Was good, we talked a lot,” Taehyung giggled, “hyung here is from Daegu too. It was really nice to meet you. I’ll see you at the party tonight?”

Well, Yoongi hadn’t planned on going. It looked like a trainwreck waiting to happen. Hoseok’s elbow dug into the elder’s side, eliciting a yelp out of him. “We’ll be there,” he grinned for the two of them.

“Great,” Taehyung beamed, though his gaze focused solely on Yoongi. If Yoongi didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn the boy’s smile was a little shy, tinged with a hint of hopefulness. “See you both then.”

It wasn’t until the pair skated away and Hoseok was pounding on the questions that he realized that Taehyung had kept a hand a hand around his waist the entire time.

Yoongi was going to nut.

—

The party turned out to be a bore after all. The only people participating in the actual games were senior citizens who looked like they could barely make their way to the slopes. Hoseok and Namjoon, safe to say, were disappointed. They deflated faster than a popped balloon when they saw the thrilling crowd to entertain. “Fuck it,” Hoseok growled, “if I can’t get my party on then I’m at least going to get trashed.”

However, his plans were foiled when Jimin curled behind him, arms wrapping around his lean waist. Yoongi had never seen the boy melt so fast. It looked as if his entire body just molded back against the younger boy. “Rushing off so soon?” Jimin asked, blinking his eyes adorably at Hoseok.

The man was fucking whipped, they all could practically hear the figurative whip landing across his ass. Hoseok basically bloomed as he turned around and wrapped himself around Jimin, lips seeking the other’s. Well, that was it. One man down, two more to go. Namjoon muttered a “the fuck” under his breath before waving it off and striding away in search of his own vice—namely, alcohol.

Yoongi eyed Taehyung whose eyes were darting between him and the shameless couple whose hands had begun to roam. “Uh, wanna get a drink or something?” Yoongi suggested, clearing his throat.

Taehyung grinned, “On the job, can’t. But I can watch over you drink, make sure you get back okay.”

As the two made their way to the bar, walking past a few elderly couples who greeted Taehyung fondly, Yoongi wondered if this man was just a people whisperer. He seemed to be very good at the whole wooing everyone to liking him business. “You’re still on the job? I thought you were just the skating instructor.”

“I am, but I volunteered to help out with the party a little, make sure it doesn’t get too crazy you know.”

Yoongi glanced briefly to the mellow crowd, smirking, “Yeah, I bet it’s going to get wild tonight.” Taehyung elbowed him with a low chuckle.

They ended up sitting by the bar where Namjoon joined them. Taehyung was friendly still, bringing up conversation topics with Namjoon to keep the elder talking and the awkward silence nonexistent. When prompted, Yoongi knew his friend could keep going on and on all night about whatever topics he came up with. Namjoon and Taehyung found mutual ground on alien, extraterrestrial theories. Yoongi found mutual ground with his gin and tonic (laugh at him all you want but at least he’s got a sweet drink and a good time).

“Well, it has been lovely talking to you, Taehyung,” Namjoon genuinely said and added a theatrical bow. “Alas, I must now find a young maiden or lad to warm my sheets. Farewell, friends.”

“Don’t mind him,” Yoongi rolled his eyes as a response to Taehyung’s quizzical look. “He starts pushing Shakespeare when he’s a little tipsy. Let him be.”

Taehyung laughed, nodding in understanding, before propping his arms up on the countertop. He leaned closer towards Yoongi who had his fingers circling his glass. “What about you?” Taehyung started, “What are you like when you’re tipsy?”

His eyes were dancing with mirth that had flashbacks coursing through his mind. Tipsy Yoongi wasn’t the best Yoongi. Most of the time, it involved a lot of bad rapping and rhymes (that would grate on Namjoon’s nerves most), and other times he tended to spill everything in his mind, a word vomit of sorts. “I’m chill,” he instead said.

The other boy clearly wasn’t buying it, giggling as he inched closer, going as far as tapping Yoongi’s nose. “I don’t believe that. I feel like you’ll start saying things you don’t intend to get out of your head. All your dirty secrets.”

Well, that hit the nail right on the head. “Maybe,” Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly.

Taehyung snickered again, bringing his hand up and sliding it across Yoongi’s broad shoulder. He crinkled his nose cutely and grinned, “Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind then, big boy?”

Big boy. Yoongi choked on his drink, the burn creeping up his throat. “I–uh—not sure what you mean.”

“Mhmm,” Taehyung hummed, “come on. You can tell me. I’ve been wondering what your sincere thoughts of me are.”

“We just met,” Yoongi swallowed. Yes, they literally just met hours ago. That was it. But Taehyung still made him jittery, made him feel like he was fifteen again with a crush on the kid who smiled as brilliantly as Taehyung did and offered the sweetest words to console Yoongi and his dreams at the time. It made him feel like the sun was shining a little warmer, the night a little nicer, and the atmosphere a little more magical.

The gin was really messing with his head. He was starting to make himself believe in love at first sight and all that fictitious whatnot.

“Yeah, but what do you think of me? What’s the verdict, boss?” Taehyung smiled, something in his eyes indicating a sign of something dancing in his mind. The elder wasn’t sure what to make of it. “How about I go first?”

“Alright,” Yoongi replied, shifting on his stool.

“I think you’re hot,” Taehyung confessed simply. The brevity of his words had Yoongi pausing to think. That was… good right? An attractive man found him attractive. “I really want you to fuck me.”

Holy shit. His drink dribbled from his lips when he unconsciously parted his lips in surprise. He quickly reached for a napkin to wipe it all up, cheeks flushing a deep red and it wasn’t from the alcohol. Taehyung didn’t look fazed in the least—he probably had people spilling drinks out of their mouths all the time.

“That’s, uh, rather bold,” Yoongi said stupidly. What he meant to sungay was that was a fucking swell idea and his room’s door was open 24/7 for him.

Taehyung rolled his shoulders. “You’re here for the weekend, we don’t exactly have excess time to spend, hyung. I’d rather cut it straight to the chase instead of beating around the bush with neither of us ending up satisfied. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I, um, I guess so,” Yoongi said. He was feeling less and less intellectual by the second in that moment.

“So,” Taehyung licked his lips, dark gaze lifting to meet Yoongi’s stunned ones, “how about it? I end in like an hour. Feel up to it?”

Yoongi could only gulp and nod, “Y-yeah, sounds great. I can work with that.”

“Perfect.” Taehyung’s hand appeared on his knee. Why was his hand on his knee? It was going to make his boner even more evident before the boy who had propositioned him. Very smoothly, might he add. “I have to do my rounds for the night, but I’ll meet you after?”

“Yeah, after works.”

At this point, all Yoongi could do was agree to everything Taehyung was saying.

Taehyung hummed with a devilish twinklier his eye, “Great. Your room then?” Nod. “Are you sure you’re cool with this?” Nod. “Uh—” Nod. “Hyung, you’re kind of scaring me.”

Yoongi was about to nod again but pulled himself out of the stupor. “No, yeah, I mean we’re good. My room’s good. Perfect. You’re perfect. Your face is just really distracting, your lips too. Just… so pretty.”

A laugh bubbled up the younger boy’s throat as he nodded, tilting his body forward to place a soft kiss on Yoongi’s cheek. “You can get more acquainted with my lips later, hyungie.”

God, yes.

—

Preparing to get acquainted with Taehyung’s body meant spending nearly half an hour pacing the length of his room. He had probably traced the circumference of every inch of his room five times over with his feet in the last few minutes. Yoongi had escaped the humdrum party soon after Taehyung left to hop onto his duties, but gave Taehyung his room number to visit later.

Taehyung had drifted away with a promise to come by.

Yoongi hadn’t stopped sweating since.

When the doorbell rang, he had bounded over to the entrance hall, briefly glancing at the hallway mirror to fix up his hair, before reaching for the knob. He had never been this nervous before a hookup, ever. Maybe it was due to the fact that Taehyung was possibly the most beautiful human being he had ever seen.

Conjuring up the image of the man in his mind, Yoongi could see the smooth slope of his nose and the single mole printed on his skin. Then there was the way his eyes crinkled whenever he smiled, lips stretching to reveal a set of teeth that sparkled in the daylight. His jawline wasn’t sharp, but was defined enough to leave Yoongi with the urge to run his lips along it.

“Hey,” he coughed when he swung open the door to find Taehyung standing with one hand on the frame, his body leaning in.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

Fuck. Him.

“Not gonna invite me in?” Taehyung questioned teasingly when the two of them had been in a strange standstill.

“Right, come in.”

One thing led to another—read: the second Taehyung stepped into the room, Yoongi clicking the door shut behind him, Taehyung had him pinned up against the wall. His lips moved almost on instinct to cover Yoongi’s. The elder had been taken aback at first, lips parting in surprise and Taehyung took that opportunity to slip his tongue in. Yoongi had never been big on kisses, never liked people sticking their tongues down his throat.

However, the way Taehyung was twisting his tongue against Yoongi’s, the way he was stroking the insides of his cheeks and how his large hands smoothed down Yoongi’s shoulders had him shaking against the boy. “Fuck, you’re so pretty, hyung,” Taehyung whined quietly as he nosed the elder’s cheek before moving down to paste wet kisses on his neck. His teeth grazed the skin  and brought blood rushing to the surface in a littering of marks.

“W-wait, let’s take this to my room, I don’t need my friends barging in on us,” Yoongi stuttered, fingers clutching Taehyung’s jacket. This was more for support than anything. If he had felt vulnerable on the ice, he was downright helpless in that moment. Taehyung nodded and began walking.

He only looked back when he realized that Yoongi wasn’t following him. “Hyung, you good?”

“Uh, yeah, just trying to feel my legs again,” Yoongi chuckled weakly. He was but a weak man.

Taehyung laughed and returned to his side, grabbing hold of his skinny arms and practically dragging him into the room. The elder landed on the bed with a soft thump and, before he could even take a breath, Taehyung was already on top of him, stealing it from out of his lungs. Their lips latched together, molding into one as Taehyung’s hands wasted no time in working on the buttons of his shirt. “Christ, you’ve got the prettiest skin,” he muttered under his breath, stopping his movements to stare at the paleness of Yoongi’s skin.

It was milky and clean, free of blemishes, but that was a fact soon to be changed when Taehyung dived in for the kill. His teeth were merciless as they nipped on the sensitive parts of him, planting bruises and marks to mark him as his. Yoongi could feel his veins buzzing with life, every inch of him lighting up in flames with Taehyung’s scorching touch upon his skin.

“How do you want me, hyungie?” Taehyung panted as he pulled away, shrugging off his coat and shirt over his head. Yoongi allowed his glance to travel from the expanse of smooth, golden skin. The boy was beautifully breathtaking, like a god descended from the fair heavens. He swallowed as he looked at the delicious contrast between his wild, seductive eyes and the softness of his pudgy stomach.

Yoongi licked his lips as Taehyung pulled his pants off, his hand circling his cock. God, he was long. Cock so pretty and dripping all wet for him. “Want you on your knees, want to see you opening yourself up for me. Can you do that?” The question came as an additional stammer. He didn’t want to sound too demanding.

However, judging by how Taehyung’s eyes had flashed and the slow curl of his lips, the younger didn’t mind it all that much. Instead he grabbed a bottle from his jacket pocket and flipped the cap open, drizzling a good amount onto his fingers and rubbing it in between his digits. “Yeah? You wanna see me fuck myself open?”

“Mm, yeah,” Yoongi nodded, breathing in sharply just as the boy leaned down, pressing his face to the sheets. His long, wet fingers danced along his hips and reached around his back to barely brush over his hole. The puckered ring seemed to tighten at the warning.

It wasn’t long before Taehyung’s subtle moans bounced off the walls of the room. His deep voice bubbled up his throat, squeaky, choked whines escaping as he pushed a finger in then another. His digits tugged on his rim, attempting to stretch it out in preparation for Yoongi.

Meanwhile, the elder watched him in awe. There was something so beautiful about the way Taehyung had his pretty back arched, his ass up in the air in full view. Yoongi couldn’t help his hand from wandering down to his pants, his hand grabbing hold of his crotch as he palmed the growing erection behind the fabric. It really wasn’t enough—not when his imagination was going haywire with Taehyung right there in front of him. It felt like a dream come true seeing how tight Taehyung was.

“I always pegged you to have a loose hole,” Yoongi muttered under his breath, his free hand reaching out to stroke the boy’s supple skin.

Taehyung quivered at the assumption and the other boy’s touch. He tossed a sly look over his shoulder, but the smolder in his gaze wavered as Yoongi danced his pale fingers along his soft, caramel skin. The contrast was enticing, a sweet blend of colors. “I usually do, but being up here means I haven’t been fucked in a while.” His voice cracked in a broken moan as he curled his own fingers inside of him. The elder observed where his fingers joined his hole, watched as he pulled at his opening. God, he was so pretty.

“You tight, Tae?”

“So tight,” Taehyung confirmed in a whine, “bet your fat cock will fill me up real good, huh?”

Fuck yes. A hiss slipped past his gritted teeth as Taehyung sat back on the balls of his feet. His hand was still trapped behind him, sinking deep into his ass as he began to bounce against his palm. Yoongi didn’t think he had ever seen a prettier sight than that. Taehyung’s cock, long and thick, was standing upright. He could see the tip beaded with a drop of white, precome that clung onto his skin before rolling down the length every time he moved. His member thumped against his stomach every time the boy sank down on his fingers, his gaze wild with clouded lust and mouth open, tongue practically dripping with desire.

“My cock’s not too big, but you’re tight enough,” Yoongi grunted.

Taehyung grinned at that, a teasing, mischievous curve of his lips. “Yeah? You got a small cock, hyung?”

When he put it that way, Yoongi was blushing. Sure, he wasn’t the biggest in his friend group, but he wasn’t tiny. Maybe.

“Take it out, hyungie,” Taehyung cooed as if he was coaxing a pet. He shifted closer to the edge of the bed, to where Yoongi stood touching himself through his pants. “I wanna see your cock.”

Licking his lips, the elder quickly worked away at his button and zipper with trembling his fingers. There was this nip of fear that—what if Taehyung didn’t like his size? What if Taehyung was into monstrous-sized co—

“Fuck,” Taehyung clenched his jaw, “fuck, you’re so pretty. Cock like that, shit. Looks small, baby.”

A flush spread across his skin at record speed, coloring his cheeks and the back of his neck to the tips of his ears. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, his lips parting and his throat moving as he swallowed. Taehyung had nudged forward again, his free hand reaching out to wrap around Yoongi’s dick. The first contact was like a relief to his throbbing member, one that had been left without pleasure for too long.

“Do you like that? Do you like being called small?” Taehyung giggled. Yoongi blushed again in response. He’s heard it before from others he’s fucked, knew that he liked his size the way it was, but at the same time, had a Thing for being reminded of it, reminded of how much smaller he was than others. “So cute, hyung,” Taehyung laughed again.

It really should’ve hurt his pride and his bloated ego, but the only pain he could feel was from the sudden rush of blood down between his legs. His knees wobbled a little with Taehyung’s words and he offered no response whatsoever to confirm nor deny that he really did in fact fucking love it when Taehyung called him small.

“Mmm, bet I can take the whole thing in my mouth in one go,” the younger simpered with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Leaning forward and with one hand still behind him to finger himself open, Taehyung parted his lips to mouth at Yoongi’s cock.

The heat that swallowed up his sensitive length was excruciatingly mind-blowing. Taehyung’s tongue pressed down against the sensitive skin and dragged up along the length of it. True to his word, he managed to stick the entire thing down his throat without gagging even once. His nose brushed against the base of his cock where a few curls of hair tickled his face. Yoongi released a low moan and buried his fingers in Taehyung’s soft hair. The gesture had Taehyung groaning as well, the vibrations coursing through his already shaking figure. It pulsed a rhythm through his veins, a quick skip in his heartbeat.

Taehyung pulled off with a loud, purposeful pop before sucking hard on the head again. His tongue darted out to collect the dot of come from Yoongi’s slit before he smiled up at him again. “You’ve got the nicest cock, hyung. I don’t think I’ve ever had cock this pretty and cute before.”

Cute. He called his cock cute. Yoongi should’ve been offended, that would be the normal reaction, wouldn’t it? But he wasn’t. Instead he jerked his hips forward for Taehyung to take him again. Taehyung stroked it in his hand, the length comparable to the size of his palm. It was almost humiliating if it didn’t feel so good.

“So small, hyung, fuck,” Taehyung cursed, “you’re so fuckin’ pretty. I want you stick this in me, stretch me out. You’re small but I promise you I’m tight enough that you can feel my ass squeezing you.”

“Then do it,” Yoongi grumbled, tilting the other boy’s head back so he was looking up at the elder. “Why don’t you turn around and give me your ass so I can fuck you properly.”

Taehyung was practically buzzing in anticipation as he scrambled around, shaking his ass at Yoongi who was about ready to faint with how good Taehyung’s ass looked. “Do your worst.”

Yoongi snatched up a condom from his wallet and quickly rolled it down his length. He picked up the bottle of lube and drenched his cock in it, spreading it along his member.

“You don’t need that much, hyung, it’s not going to hurt that bad with your size.”

The elder stiffened and directed a threatening glare at the younger, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s gonna be tight, but not that tight.”

Yoongi’s hand came down on Taehyung’s ass in an echoing crack. For a second, he thought he had fucked up, thought he had hurt him, but Taehyung’s following whimper proved otherwise. Instead, the younger stuck his ass back at him more, nudging it in his direction. “I thought you were this cute, sweet kid. What happened to him?”

“I turn into an asshole in bed,” Taehyung smirked, “get it, asshole? Ha ha.”

Christ. Yoongi wanted to toss him across his lap and spank the living daylights out of him. But maybe that was for another day (or tomorrow morning). “You always talk this much? Guys never shut you up before.”

“They shut me up once they prove to me they can use their cock properly.”

Growling, Yoongi yanked his ass back, nearly causing the younger to slip his grasp on the sheets. He positioned himself before Taehyung before thrusting his hips to fill him up in one go. The boy jolted forward with the movement, a shocked gasp drawn from his pretty lips. Taehyung had been right. Even with Yoongi’s size, Taehyung was still so, so fucking tight. His ass was snug and warm, wrapped around Yoongi’s dick perfectly.

He swung his body easily, jutting his hips forward to bury his cock over and over again inside of Taehyung. The boy was writhing before him, his slim figure trembling with every one of Yoongi’s thrusts. Yoongi didn’t go easy, he was too impatient, it’s been too long. All he could feel was the absolute ecstasy of the tightness that surrounded his cock, the walls that clenched around his sensitive length to bring him closer to his peak. Taehyung’s cries and little ‘uh-uh-uhs’ only fueled his growing desire, the bubbling warmth brewing inside his belly. His moans were so fucking pretty, Yoongi drank it all up like a drug he could never be clean of.

“Such a cute little ass,” Yoongi grunted, his cock sliding into the tunnel again. It was such a good fit and every time he jerked forward, he could feel Taehyung loosening up to him. “Can’t fuckin’ believe you’re not getting your little hole opened up every night, fucked open like this.”

“Hnnnng, fuck,” Taehyung sobbed, “f-feels so good. O-only want your cock, hyung. You’re so good, fuck me. Fuck me open. Make me your little slut.”

Goddamn. “You want that? Want me to make you my little cockslut?” Yoongi bit back, giving a particularly hard thrust that reached deeper inside of Taehyung. “I should fuck you in the lobby where everyone can see you, see what a pretty little slut you are. Do you want that?” Taehyung was still too immersed in the sensations that engulfed him, bearing Yoongi no response. The elder’s jaw ticked. “Answer me.”

“A-aah, yeah, I want that, want you to make me your slut. Want everyone to see my ass always open for the taking for you,” Taehyung whined, “fuck me harder, h-hyung.”

Yoongi obliged and moved faster and harder, his thighs were aching and his knees were beginning to give, but he pushed through to give Taehyung what he wanted. The boy was already so close, his body giving tremors to how deliriously incredible it felt to be filled up full.

“J-just like that, I-I’m so close,” he choked, breaths hiccuping in his throat.

“Come for me, baby. Come on, show me how much tighter this ass can be. Clench around my cock, slut,” Yoongi snarled, hand coming down on Taehyung’s ass. The action came as a surprise and Taehyung enjoyed it way too much with the way his cock twitched and leaked, dripping precome all over the sheets.

Taehyung gasped, “Again. Hit me again.”

“Like getting punished, huh?” Yoongi chuckled, humoring him with another smack on his other cheek. It was almost mesmerizing to see the soft skin jiggle and Yoongi wished he could capture this moment on camera. “Tell me what you are, baby.”

“I-I’m a slut,” Taehyung hitched, swallowing the thickness in his throat.

“Whose slut?”

“Yours!” he cried as Yoongi thrust forward, hard and fast, again. “Yours! Your slut.”

Yoongi grinned, smoothing his hand down the reddening skin to alleviate the soreness. “Good boy, now, do you want to come for me?” Taehyung nodded eagerly, practically mewling in desperation as he plead for Yoongi to let him come. “Alright, baby, come on. Come for me, I want to see your milk all over my bed.”

His words had Taehyung tipping over the edge, his lips parting soundlessly, eyes blown wide, as white semen spurt out of his cock and spilled all over the bleached sheets. His body was still quaking as Yoongi pounded into him deeper, chasing after his own orgasm and filling the elastic with the result of his climax.

The two were out of breath, stuck in the same position with Yoongi still settled snugly inside of Taehyung. Even worse, Taehyung kept nudging his ass back and squeezing his walls as if to drain Yoongi of every last drop of come.

After Yoongi pulled out of him and cleaned him up, he maneuvered the trembling boy underneath the sheets (after stripping off the gross, come-stained ones despite Taehyung’s filthy protests). “You’re letting me sleep here?” Taehyung smiled softly up at him.

It was almost strange to see the one-eighty he did after sex. This post-orgasm afterglow made him even prettier, gentler, almost angelic. “Of course, it’s late. Get some sleep.”

Taehyung giggled and snuggled into Yoongi’s chest when he slid himself underneath the covers. “A good fuck and a gentleman, I might just keep you.”

Yoongi laughed at that, tucking the younger into his side. “We’ll see how long we can survive each other,” he grinned.

“You’re cute, I’ll tolerate you longer.”

“But who says I’ll tolerate you?”

Taehyung pouted adorably, swatting Yoongi’s chest. “Meanie.”

“Go to sleep, baby.”

The fondness in Yoongi’s voice had Taehyung melting into his grasp as he nodded obediently. “Goodnight.”

[blerdsonline]

Cancer

"You should take her home," the doctor said in a hushed tone. Sympathetic, but still knowing the outcome. "Why would we do that? You're helping her right," the woman asked. Confused on the surface but deep down she knew. Her sister was going home for the last time. She wouldn't be making any trips back and forth to the hospital much longer.  The end was near. Cancer had riddled her body. Taken organs and left her a shell of the woman she once was. The doctor was doing his best to be compassionate. It didn't matter. Whatever he told the family would sound cold and heartless. He had just sentenced their loved one to death. Not by any choice of his own, but because there were no longer any options. "Hey, Abby, just stop," she wheezed from her bed. "I can't do this anymore. I'm ice skating up hill with this," she cracked a joke. That had been their favorite inside joke from when they were kids. Motherfuckers always trying to ice skate up hill. That's what Wesley Snipes said. It made them giggle for hours when they were younger. The phrase stayed with them, even now as adults. Abby didn't want to believe it, but if this was what her sister had decided then so be it. A calm death at home, maybe after watching on of her favorite movies. That was all she wanted now. She had been robbed of so much time from illness and the constant surgeries and treatments. She just wanted the final days to be hers. If there were days. There may only be hours. But, they would be her hours. That's all she could ask for now. It had been an okay life, a good life. She would have liked more time with her kids. She wanted to go to a few more concerts and she never got to drive a Corvette. Still, she had lots of time of with a family that loved her. She got to see all of her favorites live in concert. She was even in a movie once, she was just a background character, but she was there.  Cancer might take her life away. She may miss some milestones, a few weddings and retirements. But she was there. Cancer can never take away the memory of her, the photos, the videos. She was there, that's what matters.  

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